#Hope the fact that the “hair comments” left him confused was because he didn't read the online ones...

[thelostgirl21]

I'm late to the party like you wouldn't believe, but I've got to say something, because I'm so upset!

Okay, unpopular opinion, I actually loved Jaskier's Season 3 hair!

Was it always perfectly styled? No. There were a few scenes where I personally thought it could have used a bit more volume, or a bit more volume in some places while a bit less in others; but, most or the time, I was more than fine with it, and thought it suited Jaskier well!

At times, I literally adored it!

Ex:

To me, those are moments where I thought Jaskier looked his best in the series! Loved the hair!

Then again, personally, I tend to prefer Joey's looks with his forehead cleared and his hair longer.

Like, this is I think one of the most gorgeous non-feral hairstyles I've ever seen on him:

(X)

This is an absolutely gorgeous man, and I personally prefer his hair styled like this than short.

(Note: I'm not saying he's not beautiful with short hair, too, simply stating personal preferences. Certain aesthetic choices are based on comfort, too, and he can 100% afford to sacrifice the "long haired look" for something that makes him feel more comfortable. He can rock plenty of different looks!)

Then, of course, there's the feral look that is just in its own category...

So why am I upset?

I've just found out that he didn't wear a wig in Season 3!

That Jaskier's Season 3 hair were simply Joey's own hair that he had decided to grow out.

And look, I'm fine with everyone having preferences!

That's not my issue. Having your own tastes and not being a fan of Joey's Season 3 hairstyle is not the issue at all!

There were posts simply mentioning that they hated that it looked so flat, when we could have been graced with something a bit more like this:

And I do get preferences when it comes to styling.

It's just that I recall how - since people assumed it was "an ugly wig" that had been forced on his head by the wig department, rather than what they considered "a bad hairstyle" - the comments on "Jaskier's hair" were at times downright nasty!

And I just gotta get out of my system that those of you that have been literally making fun of his "sudden 4-inches receeding hairline" (first I'll have you know I find receeding hairline pretty hot!), when it's kinda remained the same for 3 seasons (it's called BANGS people. Joey tends to wear those with his shorter haircuts! Look it up!), for example, really suck!

His hairline has always gone pretty far up on each side, even in some of his earlier work... Ex: Gopher in "Mount Pleasant" (2016):

Like he's got very thick hair that form a "V" shape at the top (my mom had that, but I didn't inherit it... And we've got tons of hair... Like, a lot! * ) and a pretty large forehead.

*

(That's me at 18, and then at 28 - before I brought them back to a lower back length - but my mom is the same in terms of thickness, she just has that V in the front I lack, and it never receeded any further in her life.)

And there would be no shame in having thin hair, or any form of baldness anyway!

So yeah! I remember sort of heavily ignoring all those "ugly wig" comments because I, too, had assumed it was a wig (turns out Joey's hair seem to be a bit like mine, and grow pretty fast), and at some point you choose your battles.

Did I think a bunch of you were immature assholes for needing to hate on that "ugly wig" so much? Yes. But you find those in any fandom!

Personally, I thought "the wig" was awesome!

But now, I kinda regret not having taken the time to be more supportive of Jaskier's Season's 3 hair given I actually like it...

Because that's just a (very sweet) human being's hair, that was styled in a way that a number of people didn't like.

Again, zero problem for those that thought it was badly styled, and that the look didn't suit Jaskier!

Critiquing what you find a "bad hairstyle" is no cause for shame!

But, for those of you that took it to the next level with all those "ugly wig" comments, you fucking suck, I sure hope you've since found out that you'd been openly ridiculing a fellow human being's real hair, that it makes you feel like complete pieces of shit, and that feeling like complete pieces of shit is going to help you learn from your mistakes, before you start attacking other people's personal physical features in the future!

"Well, I didn't know!"

Here's today's lesson:

When you don't know, please kindly shut up and assume the hair you see is the real thing!

Or critique the wig like you would a real hairstyle, asking yourself "Hmm... Is describing someone's real hair the way I do going to make me sound like a bully?"

Like I said, I'm aware I'm pretty late to the party, but the the kid in me that got heavily bullied in school over her own hair really needed to get it out of her system!

[enkas-illusion]

(Not) Just Another Crush - Part 1/2

Fandom / Pairing: Attack On Titan / Eren x f!reader

Rating: NSFW/Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Content Warning: Fluff, fluff, A LOT of fluff, slow burn, kissing, language, slight make out, emotional edging of sorts (it will make sense)

Chapter Summary: Instead of pining over the mystery man at your gym from a distance, you decide to take matters into your own hands and talk to the guy. And you find out that Eren Jaeger, as it turns out, is akin to a man written by a woman.

Author's notes:  Hello, here’s a meet-cute type of thing for gym bro Eren cause ~I need a big boy, gimme a big boy, gimme a big big boy~; this is a 2-part story so the chapters are super lengthy. Hope you enjoy it – feel free to like, reblog or comment! Thank you for reading! 

-Eren’s Birdie

Song Dedication: Crush by Cigarettes After Sex

Part 1 | Part 2

To the unassuming eyes, it may look like just two people interacting – but to the ones who knew, you and the gym trainer, it was fate intervening to give you this opportunity!

“Bruh, if you don't go talk to him now…” you hear Porco, the trainer's voice as he nudges you in your crush's direction.

As you walk up to your crush you think about how stupid this idea seems. The plan was to ask him to alternate sets with you on seated rows since the gym was way too crowded. 

Honestly, the move was a bit too obvious in your opinion. But you'd set your mind to it – Today is the day you finally talk to your crush!

It had been quite some time since you'd been secretly simping over this guy so what's the harm? All the other equipment being occupied was the perfect excuse, if you had to look for one, to finally talk to him.

Since you’re usually reserved, you don’t talk to anyone at the gym. You've always been this way – doing your own thing while blasting music in your earphones and going home without ever lifting your head up.

But ever since you saw him about a month ago, your eyes had been wandering around to find him the minute you'd enter the gym, stealing glimpses whenever you could without being creepy about it. 

You decided it was just some stupid crush only because the man was ridiculously hot so it'll fade away eventually. But man, were you wrong.

When he didn't show up to the gym the whole week last week, you rushed to Porco, who's always hanging around to enquire – any semblance of subtlety thrown out the window. 

It wasn't like you were planning to make a move (god knows the only reason you didn't talk much at the gym was to avoid the occasional creeps that would try talking you up).... but the fact that it felt like a missed chance with the mystery guy left an itch and a curiosity to know more.

“...you know the one who's always wearing anime t-shirts? Long, black haired pretty dude?” You'd asked, hoping Porco would recognize your crush from your half-assed description.

When Porco was seemingly confused, you'd pestered further, “The one who always has his hair tied in a messy bun but still looks gorgeous? Nothing? Ummm- The emo dude with the perfect proportions!”

“OH! Are you talking about Eren? I can’t quite remember his last name but pretty sure you’re talking about Eren. Yeah… he's a regular– has been here for a year now.”

“How come I only saw him a month ago?”

“I think he recently switched timings to fit his work schedule or something. Maybe he shifted back to the mornings.”

Your heart sinks at the information… there goes your imaginary chance with Eren.

Eren.

You memorise his name anyway… hoping that maybe the gods would be generous enough to give you a chance to talk to him.

And they do. He shows up over the weekend and you secretly cheer that he's back during your schedule. However, another month passes by as you keep on trying to find the ‘perfect’ opportunity to talk to him. 

Which brings you to the present moment, as you walk towards him and wait at a distance while he finishes his reps. He slows down his movements nonetheless when your eyes meet, and before you can stop yourself, you wave at him before abruptly putting your hand down. 

Eren stops his movements and pulls his headphones back, his serious face breaking into a soft smile, “Hii…?”

“Hey, sorry to interrupt but would you mind alternating sets with me? I’ve been waiting for about 15 minutes…” you point at the other equipments flocked by people, “Totally cool if you can’t tho-”

“Okay,” he smiles as he does five more reps before getting up and wiping the sweat off the seat.

“Thank you,” you say as you go to adjust the weights. Your jaw almost drops when you see it's set to 80kgs. You almost want to laugh as you set it back to 15kgs.

‘Dude’s a beast, don’t compare! Upper body never was your best muscle group,’ you think to yourself. You resume your music quickly and begin your set. When you’re done, you get up to wipe the seat as well as the handlebars of the machine with your towel.

You hear a snort from behind and when you turn to look at Eren and see him give you a smile that has you weak in your knees.

“What?” you ask confused.

“Wiping the handles as well? Cute,” he answers. He can’t help but find this action considerate – Most people don’t even bother wiping the patch formed by their sweaty ass cheeks.

Even if his compliment makes you blush, you try hard to not let it show. You simply move away to signal him to the seat. He bends down to readjust the weights.

“No way you’re gonna go above 80!?” you gasp as you see him push it to 100kgs.

“The last one is always till failure,” he states matter-of-factly.

“Oh... that’s crazy, I could never. I’ve got noodle arms,” you joke.

“Didn’t you get your first full pull up a few days ago?” he asks. 

PAUSE. He’s noticed you before???

As if instantly reading your mind, he adds, “I saw you cheering and clapping your hands with Porco when you did it.”

“Oh that… sorry, I try not to bother anyone much usually,” you feel the heat rise to your cheeks out of embarrassment.

“I know, don’t be sorry, it’s a good thing to celebrate your PR… besides, Reiner has been teasing me about not making any progress lately so I need to step up my game for sure,” he laughs to himself as he gets into position.

“Reiner?” 

“That’s the huge blonde who I usually come with,” he explains. You simply nod and don’t speak further, letting him begin his set. He starts well but by the end you can tell that Eren is struggling a bit as soft cusses leave his lips, face scrunching and chest heaving as he steadies his breathing.

“Come on… 2 more.” you cheer, causing him to grunt as he finishes his set. Your eyebrows raise in surprise when you see him wipe the handles along with the seat, imitating your habit.

“Thank you.” you blush as you bend down to readjust the weights to 25kgs, “So, you’re done?”

“Yeah…” he speaks, taking small sips of water from his bottle, “I’ll see you around?” 

You nod and he smiles at you as he turns to leave, but quickly turns back again, “Shit! Sorry… What's your name?”

The blush grows even further at his question as you tell him your name and ask, “What about you?”

“I’m Eren… Eren Jaeger.”

Jaeger. Eren Jaeger.

You memorise his full name and you both say your goodbyes as you get back to your workout. Eren left way before you did, leaving no room for further conversations to occur. 

This interaction hadn’t gone unnoticed by Porco, who rushed to your side when you were stretching, “Soooo, am I your cupid yet?”

“Don’t get your hopes up… we’ll have small talks whenever we see each other at best. Nothing’s going to happen!” you lie with a straight face, but deep down you were dying to check him out on Instagram once you were in the comfort of your home.

Your crush was oh so kind to spare you the stalking when you see your phone light up with a notification later at night.

Eren_j started following you.

You almost jump up out of your bed but steady yourself to call your best friend, Annie, before you even get to checking his account.

“Guess who just followed me on ig?” you giggle when she picks up the call.

“Huh?”

“Guess. Who. Followed. Me!” you repeat.

“Darling… I need context,” she replies dryly.

“Eren… Eren followed me… the gym crush!” you squeal, killing the suspense since you knew it was too late at night for her to indulge in your guessing game.

“Waitttttt… the supposedly hot emo guy who wears anime t-shirts?” you can hear her surprising tone, “you go girl– thought you were too much of a puss-”

“Annie!” you cut her off, “What do I do? Should I text him first or just follow back?”

“NO! Always let the guy text first,” she proclaims.

“Ugh… but okay, I hear you… wouldn’t want to seem like a simp after keeping my cool for so long,” you answer back as you put her on speaker to follow him back. You see the Requested icon turn to Following within seconds.

“ANN! He accepted already,” you almost yell.

“Welp, that was fast,” she chuckles.

“Sooo,” you begin in a sweet sing-song voice, “I’m gonna go stalk his profil-”

“Yeah, alright… have a good night babe.” you hear a dramatic mwah from her. You chuckle as you bid her good night before hanging up.

As you skim through his profile, you can’t help but feel giddy at the fact that this guy actually seems to have a personality, unlike some gym bros who make ‘muscle’ their entire personality.

When you’re going through his story highlights, you see his username pop up at the top of your screen, making your heart race faster. He had replied to your story. You rush to check on your profile what you’d posted, feeling your brain malfunction as you fear it being something embarrassing and goofy.

Phew. It was just a post-workout selfie showing off your wet, sweaty t-shirt.

You open his text.

Eren_j:

Guess u got a good workout in after I left afterall.

Feeling a bit bold, you text back.

I did… would’ve been a lot more fun with you tho.

And you almost want to throw your phone away in anticipation as you see the typing icon.

Eren_j:

Be careful what you wish for. I’ve been told im a strict/difficult gym partner.

I like me a challenge :)

Eren_j:

Is that so? Guess i gotta make it particularly hard for u :)))

I’m a tough girl Eren… i think i can take it.

You swing your feet as you roll around on the bed. If you ever showed this to Annie, she’d probably call it ‘fucking cringe but cute nonetheless’. 

As the double entendre texts died down, seamless conversations kept you hooked. He was putting in equal amounts of effort to keep the conversation alive. You don’t exactly remember how you fell asleep but you remember talking to him for about two hours or so. 

And that’s how you became gym buddies. As another month had passed by, you got to know him as a friend. You want to cuss yourself since your crush has only increased tenfold ever since you’ve gotten to know him personally. 

You realise just how deceiving his looks are – on the outside, he’s this big, intimidating dude but on the inside he’s got the golden retriever energy. Eren is the perfect mix of what you’d call a serious yet laid back/chill guy.

He’s thoughtful, remembers tiny details about you, sends you songs whenever he finds one he thinks you’d like and memes that remind him of you and is a self proclaimed hopeless romantic. You could go on and on about Eren and it would still not be enough – needless to say, you were absolutely gone for him, the kind that they describe as being totally head-over-heels in movies.

And it doesn’t help that a few nights ago, when the gym was basically empty, you two almost kissed. Standing in the corridor, as you were saying your goodbyes, it felt as if he was about to lean in to kiss you before being interrupted by someone walking out the changing room, making you flee the scene, akin to a criminal being caught.

But then again, you weren’t really sure if it was just your delusion overriding the tiny bit of logic left in your romance-ridden brain.

~~~

“Eren… I can’t– fuck,” you groan as your hands shake.

“You got it, come on. You’re doing so good. One more then we’re done. Promise,” you hear his voice as his grip on your waist tightens. 

Eren supports your bodyweight as he pushes you up so that your chin is touching the pull up bar. The first few were bearable but by your 7th pull up, it’s more like he’s working his biceps rather than you working your back.

With shaky hands, you try to control your movement as you come down but your arms almost give in, causing you to slightly stumble as you drop to your feet with a light thud. His grip on your waist tightens to steady you before letting go gently.

Ever since the almost kiss, you’d been extra aware of his touches. So even his guiding touches, without any ulterior motives, have been making you feel some type of way.

You slouch slightly as you sit against a wall in the corner, sipping your water. You close your eyes to calm your breathing as you feel your arms burn. You groan as you realise you’re going to be super sore tomorrow morning.

“Good job bub,” he snickers. You open your eyes to see him bend down in front of you to pat your head lightly.

“I give up… you win, you are a ruthless gym partner.”

“Aww… I'm flattered,” he jokes further.

You roll your eyes as you swat his hand away from your head.

“Let me make it up to you, I’ll give you a massage. How about that?” he adds jokingly, though you know he wouldn’t mind actually giving you one if you ask him nicely.

“You better! I’m not going to be able to make dinner tonight!” you reply as you hold your arms out limply in front of him.

“Then don’t. Let me make you dinner,” he says, taking the opportunity.

“For real?” you ask, taken by surprise by his sudden yet tempting offer.

“Yeah? Got any plans for tonight?”

“No… let’s do it. I'm in,” you agree before demanding, “but, I want that massage as well.”

“Done… my massages can put those Thai spas to shame,” he boasts.

“Are you overselling yourself Jaeger?” you tease him, “it’s often disappointing when reality doesn’t match the hype.”

“You’re gonna eat your words later… I’ve been told I’ve got magic fingers.” he retorts, his cocky smirk wider than ever. You roll your eyes as you grab your things before getting up. 

“That’s for me to decide,” you poke him further, “... the food better be worth the 7 pull ups.”

Surprisingly he doesn’t have a witty comeback in his arsenal this time. You simply hear a low chuckle escape his lips and it’s somehow more mischievous than whatever clever words he would’ve spoken otherwise.

You’d never been to his place before, meaning it took a few minutes for your brain to register that you were going to Eren fucking Jaeger’s place! In the changing room, you freshen up as much as you can to try to not look like a sweaty mess. You change into a pair of jeans and a jumper, slinging the gym bag over your shoulder before giving yourself one last look in the mirror and walking out to meet him near the entrance of the gym.

As you walk out, you see him waiting for you on his bike, securing the helmet on his head. He’s changed into a pair of loose jeans and a denim jacket over his t-shirt. Even when you’d seen his ride for the first time, Eren being a biker never surprised you since it felt very on-brand for him. 

Imagine him picking you up for a date, waiting on his bike with a bouquet of tulips in hand. Ehe. 

You snap out of your daydream when he holds out the other helmet in front of you. You lean your head down when he motions you to do so and he puts the helmet on you.

“Where did the second one come from?” you wonder out loud.

“I had planned to take you home tonight from the start,” he winks.

You snort as you slide the visor of his helmet down his face. You hear his laugh as he adds, “Porco let me borrow his, apparently he keeps an extra one in the cabin for god-knows-what.”

“I guess I really might need to call Porco a cupi–” you freeze midway.

“Hmm?” 

“A good trainer.” you correct yourself, and you’re pretty sure it was far from convincing but Eren decides not to tease you about it. You’re 99.99% certain he heard it – maybe he just wants to save you the embarrassment, you think to yourself.

You hop onto his bike and hesitantly rest your hands on his sides not wanting to seem awkward by straight up hugging him from behind. However, he straightens his back as he grabs the top of your hands, pulling them to the front to wrap them around his waist. You smile to yourself as you rest your cheek on his back and hug your arms around him steadily.

The ride back to his place is barely 10 minutes long. You miss being so close to him as soon as you get off the bike in the parking lot. He parks and guides you to his apartment holding your wrist gently. It’s not a complete holding-hands-fingers-intertwined but that has never stopped you from overanalyzing things, has it?

You take in your surroundings when you enter the apartment and it doesn’t stand out much. It looks like any normal dude’s apartment, except it’s cleaner – probably more than your own.

“Wow, your apartment is clean,” you comment.

“You’re hurting me babe. Did you expect me to live like a savage just cause I’m a guy.”

“No, no… I’m sorry it came out wrong–” you try to clarify but he interrupts.

“Kidding! I know it’s cleaner than usual. I live with Reiner and Levi… while Reiner and I aren’t really shabby, Levi really can’t tolerate a dirty house,” Eren explains.

“Oh, that must be exhausting, no?”

“Not really. That was Levi’s one condition when Reiner and I went to him in search of a third flatmate so we agreed.”

“Ah, makes sense. Are they here?” you ask, curiously as you hang your bag near the coat rack and take off your shoes. Eren returns to your side, having locked the door and keeping all his things in their designated places. 

“Nah. Reiner’s out of town on a work trip for like two weeks and Levi’s gone home for a few days as well,” he answers as he shrugs off his jacket, folding it before placing it on the side table.

You can’t help but find it cute that he keeps the place neat so diligently, being considerate of others… but then again, you’ve been finding all of Eren’s actions cute lately.

“... so it’s just us here tonight.” he says flirtatiously.

“Good thing, I’d hate to share food now… I’m hungry,” you say, dodging it. Usually, you’d flirt back but the two of you being alone at his place suddenly feels so real – anything could happen. You chicken out – there may be a possibility that he likes you back but there could ALSO be a possibility of him only liking you as a friend.

“‘Ight, what would you like to have?” he asks as you follow him to the kitchen. 

“Surprise me… nothing too fancy though.” 

“Phew… I was actually hoping for that answer since I’d prepared the dough for burger patties,” he admits sheepishly as he washes his hand and puts on the apron. You lean against the opposite counter to let him cook in peace without any hindrance. 

“Do you want my hel-”

“OH– just a min,” he interrupts you as he hurries out of the kitchen. You blink in confusion as you follow him out to check on the guy and find him connecting his phone to the speaker.

A soft song plays through the speaker loudly and he walks towards you as if just now he’s truly ready to take on kitchen duties. 

“It’s my cooking playlist,” he smiles.

He’s so fucking cute. For fucks sake!

When you ask him again if he wants your help, he declines saying ‘the only thing you need to do tonight is compliment my amazing skills.’

So you watch him work while chatting away about random things. It doesn’t take long for him to prepare the patties and heat the buns, adding copious amounts of veggies with melting cheese on top of it. He presents it with a ‘Tada!’ and you clap at his presentation with a dramatic ‘Bravo!’

When you taste the first bite, you almost moan at how delicious it is. The burger is huge, juicy and has the right balance of crispy and soft with spicy, sweet and sour. You close your eyes, delving into the heavenly taste.

You open your eyes to see Eren devouring his own burger, unfazed by the masterpiece that he’d created as if it were something ordinary to him.

“Eren!” you squeal, “if this is what I get to eat after, I might just do a hundred pull-ups from tomorrow.”

Eren chuckles at this, licking the cheesy sauce that had trickled down his fingers, “Told ya I only brag when I know I’m good.”

“I’m serious! This is too good,” you add, taking another bite. 

“I know… thank you,” Eren smiles, clearly amused at the way you’re enjoying his burger. And in that moment, a thought crosses his mind – he’d make you dinner every night if it meant that he got to be the reason for you to feel such bliss.

Neither of you talk much till you finish eating. Your reason being wanting to relish in the taste with full concentration and Eren’s reason being not wanting to disturb your peace.

When you’re done, you clear out the plates and Eren cleans the table. As you’re walking out of the kitchen, you hear a familiar tune playing when he resumes the songs on his playlist.

You recognize it – Dope Lovers by DPR IAN.

“I love this song!” you exclaim as you walk towards him. The tension you’d felt at the beginner has almost dissipated and feeling a little courageous, you extend an arm out to him to dance.

He tosses his phone on the sofa before taking your hand to pull you closer to him. You sway your body to the rhythm as you mumble some of the lyrics.

“Is it the art or the artist that you like?” he teases.

“Well, you can’t deny that he isn’t hot… There’s something about DPR Ian, he’s soooo–” you pause to think about the right word to use before concluding, “– babygurl.”

“Babygurl?” Eren laughs as he rests his arms at your hips, “What does that even mean?”

“It’s like daddy –  it’s a state of mind,” you joke but then you purse your lips as you really think about how to explain this endearing slang to Eren, “Babygurl is when a man is so comfortable in his masculinity that he isn't scared of embracing his soft side and being gentle. A man who knows that kindness is strength. Someone who looks so tough but is far from toxic. A man who’s a gentleman in the true sense of the word… does that make sense?”

“Hmm, I think so…” he nods, “Who else is babygurl?”

“You are, Eren,” you smile and lift your hands up to move to his neck but stop when you feel a weird stiffness in your shoulders, “ow, it’s sore already.”

“Okay, let’s give you that massage!” he declares with a booming laugh, taking your hands in his and guiding you to the sofa. He sits you down with your back facing him and gently taps near your lower back to signal you to sit up straight.

“Relax your shoulders,” you hear him speak softly as his hands move up to your shoulders but he pauses his movement. He lifts his hands to comb his fingers through your locks and you jerk slightly when his fingers touch your neck in the process.

“Eren, what are you doin-” you giggle as you turn your head to look at him. 

“Shh, stay still,” he murmurs, knitting his eyebrows in concentration. His hair falls down, framing his face as he takes out his hair tie. You turn to look to the front as he runs his fingers to gather all your loose strands together once again. You feel him gently pull at your hair as he secures it with his hair tie.

“You know, you could’ve just asked for mine. It’s in my bag,” you chuckle.

“Too lazy,” he replies as his hands begin to massage your back gently. He alternates between pressing his thumbs down the length of your spine and pressing his palms flat to cover the entire area, sliding his hands down in slow pressured movements. You slouch in his touch and his hands move up to your shoulder blades to massage the area in circular motion.

“Mmm, Eren– that feels so good,” you breathe out, skin feeling like wax that could melt into his hands at any moment. You’re certain you’d fall asleep in a few minutes if he continued doing this any longer.

Eren changes his movement to bring up his fingertips to your nape, dragging them gently over the expanse of your neck, his fingers dancing over your skin as he dips them under the collar to trace your skin. This causes you to let out an involuntary whimper and your cheeks heat up in embarrassment when his touch comes to a halt.

You’re pretty sure he can see the goosebumps pricking on the surface of your skin and you mumble a soft ‘sorry’ as you create some space between to turn around to face him completely. Your eyes meet and you’re smiling at him awkwardly but he has a poker face. 

He gets up abruptly, breaking eye contact as he hurries towards the kitchen. You look at him, confused and are about to ask him why he was acting that way but he speaks up before you do.

“Want anything to drink? Something sweet for dessert?”

“Umm… okay,” you mutter, still confused.

“Anything specific?” he enquires.

“I wouldn’t mind a cup of hot coffee,” you request, smiling as you abandon your previous thought.

“Coffee? At night?” he counters, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, that’s my talent. I can sleep like a baby no matter how strong the coffee is.”

“Hmmm… Would you like to try the Eren Jaeger Special where I mix loads of chocolate with coffee and cream?”

“So, basically a mocha?” you press your lips together to keep yourself from laughing.

“Yes or no?” he says with narrowed eyes.

“Yes,” you laugh and he rolls his eyes as he turns around, disappearing into the kitchen.

You’re scrolling through your phone when you hear his approaching footsteps after a few minutes. You close your phone as you turn your head to look up at him as he walks towards you with two steaming mugs in hand.

As soon as he places one of the mugs on the table, you pick it up instantly. He sits down in front of you to clink your mugs together with a ‘cheers’. You both take tiny sips together and your eyes widen at the frothy sweet and bitter taste. 

“If you get me addicted, you’ll have to be the one to meet the demands too, just sayinggg…'' you blow over the surface and take another sip.

“Yes ma’am, I’d gladly oblige to all of your demands,” he winks before taking another sip from his mug. You try to hide your growing smile with your mug. For the rest of the conversation you try to change the subject from the two of you to literally anything else you can find – and Eren being the great conversationalist that he is, is talking about each topic just as enthusiastically.

“Aww man, the last of the coffee’s gone cold.” you swirl the liquid in the mug.

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Eren fake yells, already having finished his. You raise one fist up as you gulp the last of your coffee down in one go and slam the mug down on the cushion. Feeling the frothy stache over your upper lip, you lick it off, laughing along with him.

“There’s still some left…” Eren mumbles, pointing at his own mouth to show the spot. Before you have a chance to wipe it, he swipes his thumb over the corner of your lips before bringing it to his lips to lick it off. It’s such a simple act yet it has the butterflies in your stomach going rampant.

“Hey, that was mine,” you try to feign offence but it comes out more desperate than you’d intended as you stare at his lips a little too longer than friends are supposed to. 

He cups your face with both his hands as his gaze deepens before his eyes move down to your lips. Your breath hitches as you see him instinctively wet his lips. He leans in to move closer till your faces are just inches away.

“Then take it back agai–” he’s rudely interrupted by the sound of the front door opening with a loud thud. You pull back abruptly to create some space between the two of you. You see Eren’s jaw clench as he closes his eyes briefly in an attempt to keep his cool.

“REINER MY BROTHER– oh,” you see a man enter the living room with a large backpack.

“Jean.” Eren says, giving him a tight lipped smile.

“Eren. Where’s Reiner?” Jean asks as he looks at the two of you.

“Did he not tell you that he wasn’t gonna be at home for a while?” Eren answers, and you’re almost surprised at how cold his tone is.

“Yes? But I figured he'd leave after seeing me?” Jean retorts.

“And why would he do that?” Eren asks just as coldly.

“Since he said I was welcome to stay in his room while I was in town? Even told me to use the key y'all keep in the space behind the nameplate,” the man explains.

“Great! It's amazing how my roommate fails to tell me about shit like this.” Eren mutters but smiles at the guy nonetheless, “His room is unlocked… feel free to make yourself at home I guess.”

“Thanks. Have fun, I guess,” Jean half salutes Eren, giving you both a smug smile, feeling the satisfaction of having cockblocked his friendly foe. He leaves you two alone, making his way to Reiner’s room. Once you watch him disappear, you turn to check your phone for the time.

This time it was real! You’re not delusional, he really was about to kiss you!

You silence the voice in your head. You don’t know how to feel about the fact that Eren seemingly likes you but he can’t seem to make a move or at least declare his feelings with certainty. And there’s no way in hell you’d confess first since it’s pretty evident you like him, you’ve dropped enough hints over a month’s time – you want him to be the one to do it first.

“It’s late, I better get going,” you make an excuse as you stand up, gathering your things as you prepare to leave. Your cheeks feel hot and you give him a small smile, feeling a bit too flustered to carry on a conversation at this point.

“Let me drop you home,” he offers quickly as he stands up with you.

“My apartment isn’t far from here.”

“It's late,” he adds. You consider it and nod your head. He smiles as he grabs his keys along with his own two helmets this time.

The ride home is quick so neither of you bother with small talk. Once he parks in the parking lot of your apartment building, he tilts his bike to make it easier for you to get off. He gets off the bike, gently taking your helmet off and placing it on the bike. As you fix your hair, he takes his helmet off as well, placing it next to yours.

You slightly shuffle on your feet as you prepare to say your goodbyes. When he turns back to look at you, you smile earnestly. 

“I had a fun time tonight… despite you being a meanie at the gym.” you try to lighten up the tension.

“Only for you bub,” he jokes back, making finger-hearts at you.

“Good night, Eren.” you laugh as you wave at him and turn to walk away. You barely take a step when you hear him say your name.

“Hmm?” you turn around to look at him again. He doesn’t speak but takes one long stride to close the distance between you, wrapping his hands around your waist. As if on instinct, you drop your bag to the ground and place your hands on his shoulders, looking up at him as your breath hitches in your throat again.

He brings his left hand up to your cheek, dipping his head down to kiss your lips without any further delay. His wider frame envelopes yours as the hand on your cheek snakes back to hold your head in place as he deepens the kiss. You wrap both your hands around his neck, standing on your tippy toes for better access while his lower hand wraps around your waist even tighter.

When your lips finally part to catch your breaths, he looks you in the eye, smiling contently. Your legs feel giddy from the high you’re experiencing and you’re glad he’s still holding you flush against his body.

“I’d been dying to do that ever since I laid my eyes on you… figured it’d be pretty stupid of me to let the opportunity go twice in a row,” he confesses, dipping his head down again to kiss you once again.

You’re surprised, your brain reeling at the information but you close your eyes nonetheless, getting lost in the feeling of his lips moving against yours.

“Yeah, it would’ve been pretty stupid,” you smile when he pulls back. You pull him down by the collar to give him a kiss on his cheek, “Thank you for not wasting any more chances.”

You run your hands through his loose strands and he hums as he closes his eyes. You pull him down for another deep kiss. His tongue invades your mouth and he squeezes your ass as he pulls your body further closer to his. When you feel his boner from under his clothing, it causes you to moan into the kiss.

Your hands move down his sides, lowering further but he stops your movement with his own hands holding your wrists firmly. He pulls away from the kiss, eyes still closed as he rests his forehead against yours. His hot breath fans your face as he speaks, “It’s taking everything in me to not come up to your place to fuck you right now.”

“Then do it,” you mewl desperately as you kiss him again. He smiles into the kiss but breaks it once again to speak, “No, I wanna do this right. Let me take you out on a real date first… tomorrow evening?”

You feel your cheeks burn up as you bite your bottom lip to contain the grin threatening to give away your excitement as you nod. You stand on your toes once again to give him a quick peck. He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, enveloping you into a comforting hug.

“Take this with you,” he mumbles as he goes to grab a helmet. He leans down to grab your bag from the floor, handing both the items to you.

“Good night Eren,” you smile. He cups your face with both his hands and leans down to kiss you again – it’s brief but passionate.

“Good night baby,” he smiles as he lightly smacks your ass, earning a yelp from you. Before you can scold him, he gives you a hasty kiss before making his way to his bike. You walk to the elevator and press the button, turning to look back at him as he secures his helmet.

He starts the bike but waits till he sees you enter the elevator. Just as the door closes, you catch a glimpse of him leaving. You lean back against the railing, covering your face with your hands, not really believing what had just occurred. 

The man you’d been pining over for months had been crushing over you all along too. 

Eren Jaeger never was just another unrequited crush – and come tomorrow, he’s going to mean a lot more than just a friend.

[natti-ice]

Sirius Black Blurb.

Pairing: Sirius Black x slytherin!gn!reader

Warnings: none.

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated<3

You couldn't believe this happened, of all people to get stuck with it had to be him. You received detention for accidentally falling asleep in Binns class, why were there so many Goblin rebellions? Now, you were standing in the middle of the woods in mid-November with Sirius Black.

For some reason, Sirius had taken a strong liking to you. You couldn't understand why though, it should be textbook rivalry since you're a Slytherin and he's a Gryffindor but he seems to believe you belong together.

Since term began he has been asking you to go to Hogsmeade, you were taken aback at first because you honestly didn't think he knew who you were. The first time you said no out of pure shock, but you also were afraid it was some sick joke.

Sirius is probably the most attractive boy in the school, you can't walk two feet without hearing some girls talking about his 'beautiful hair' but he also has a reputation. Not in the "heartbreaker" sense but in the "liking to play cruel jokes" sense, you've seen some of the pranks he's pulled around school, and you would not let yourself fall victim.

It was just starting to get cold in Scotland, the air was crisp as it slapped you in the face as you walked deeper into the forest. Sirius was by your side using his wand to guide you two through the dark path. It was just your luck that this week's detention was to gather food for whatever creature Hagrid decided to bring home this year. You never understood how any of those pets were legal.

You left your jacket in your dorm because some third year accidentally spilled her drink on you during dinner and it was completely soaked, it wasn't freezing so you figured you could bare through it but as it got later the wind picked up.

You shivered as another gust of wind hit you, you felt goosebumps forming up and down your arms.

"Take my jacket" Sirius said breaking the silence

"What?" you asked, you didn't realize he was watching you "I'm fine"

"You're cold." He told you, the look in his eyes was telling you to give it up

"Am not." You internally cringed at how juvenile you sounded

"Right" Sirius chuckled, disregarding what you just said Sirius took off his jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders before you could refuse again.

You couldn't deny how good it felt, it was so warm and it was a little big so it felt like a giant hug.

"Now you'll be cold," you told him pulling the fabric closer to your body

"Don't worry about me, sweetheart" his voice was smooth and intoxicating

Your heart fluttered at the nickname, "Don't call me that" you said hoping he could hear nerves in your voice

"Did I do something to offend you?" Sirius asked, his tone wasn't telling but he truly cared how you felt about him, he hated that you were so closed off around him

"No" your tone softened

"Then why do you avoid me so much? I feel I must've done something to make you hate me" He laughed painfully

"I don't hate you, Sirius" by this point you two had completely stopped looking for that weird bug you couldn't remember the name of. "I'm just confused"

"About what?"

"The fact that you keep asking me out, I mean out of everyone? Me? Aren't we supposed to be sworn enemies?" You questioned

"Well, if you would've asked me that two years ago I would have said yes," he paused and read your expression before continuing "but that's all so childish now. I like you and I would really like to take you out" a boyish smile played across his lip.

You stayed silent taking in what he just said, as much as you didn't want to admit it you actually wanted to go out with him. You let out a small sigh

"Fine" you say "one date"

"Really?" the moonlight shone just right between the trees so you could see the sparkle in his eye as you finally agreed

"Yes Sirius, I'll go out with you" you fought back a smile but it inevitably won.

Before you knew it your feet had left the ground, Sirius spun you around in the air and then firmly placed you back on the ground. "You won't regret it, I promise" he said with a wide grin

You laughed at his eagerness as you tried to brush away the thought of how nice it felt to be in his arms.

[armpirate]

Anti-romantic || JJk | Ch. 22

Pairings: Boxer!Jungkook x fem!reader || Enemies to lovers, neighbors

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, curse, illegal boxing, violence

Warnings: fuckboy!Jungkook x reader, smut, dirty talk, curse, mention of tarot and fate

Summary: Jungkook had always been carefree when it came to love. He always believed he was worth sharing himself with everyone, and thought it was selfish of him to ever think of keeping himself exclusive to just one person.

And maybe that was exactly what got him into the big problem he was in.

A curse that kept him away from love didn't seem an issue for him. The fact that his ex-girlfriend thought he'd be affected by the idea of the girls he slept with running away from him after sex was ridiculous. She actually did him a favor, and took a burden away from him.

At least that was what he thought at first.

He had never found himself thinking of the possibility of repeating with neither of his hook ups, because they disappeared before he was able to even think about it. But when he makes the mistake of sleeping with the sexy neighbor that lives in front of him, he finds himself hoping to get the chance for a second round every time their paths cross.

Y/n hated him the second he set foot inside the building by the way he started making her life a miserable mess for no reason. Sleeping with him was a big mistake she wasn't thinking of repeating. At least not until he came up with the excuse that she rejected him for a curse. Not only she thought he was annoying, but she was also convinced he was crazy. 

There was no way she could take him seriously.

Aprox. time of reading: 16 minutes

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Strangely, Y/n felt her body completely rested and relaxed when she woke up, only annoyed at the fact of leaving her sheets to get to work. It was the first time in a really long time that sleep made her feel as well, although the idea of Jungkook being the one behind it had her sitting quickly on the mattress with panic.

It had to be over what happened the previous night, and how he offered to help her with something that was so important for her, finally showing she could trust him.

Confusion kicked into her when she smelled something. It only took her a bit of concentration to finally distinguish the scent of toasts slowly filling the air.

It couldn't be...

The blankets flew in the air as she pushed them away to walk out of her bed, completely forgetting about the small detail that she only slept with an oversized t-shirt on and a pair of panties.

She was left confused when she found him, peeking out of the window at the height of his shoulders.

—What did I tell you about smoking in my place? —Y/n sighed, placing her hands on her hips.

—Technically, I'm outside.

—Your body is still inside, only your head is outside, and the air is throwing the smoke back inside, anyway.

—First thing in the morning and you're already calling me out —Jungkook complained, breathing out the smoke.

When he turned back to her, he was mesmerized by how beautiful and hot she looked with only that t-shirt on, and her messy hair falling all over her shoulders -although he was convinced she'd have looked better with one of his shirts on. It was the exact image that kept repeating in his head when he fantasized about living the morning after with her, before his mouth could ruin it all with an annoying comment that would set off an argument between them.

It took one light raise of her eyebrows to bring back some sense into him, having Jungkook reacting to reality right on the spot.

—Although if you're going to look like that while doing it, do it every time you want —he smirked, trying to hide how nervous and paralyzed he was.

—Well, seems like you'll be busy drooling to be a pain in the ass, so I might consider it —she shrugged, standing on her tiptoes to take a quick glance through the window that connected the kitchen to the living room—. Did you prepare breakfast?

—Oh yeah, I did —Jungkook nodded.

Before taking one step inside, he breathed in the last puff and threw the remains of his cigarette.

—That's so clean.

That comment didn't bother him in the slightest. Instead, he smiled at her while closing the window and pulling the curtains so it'd cover the inside to her place. His figure was so lean and marked under that oversized t-shirt while he lifted his arm, that she couldn't help but disconnect for a brief second.

—Relax —his lips puckered, walking to her and forcing her mind back to reality—. I prepared something because I wanted to be grateful.

Y/n saw him leave, returning back with a plate full of toasts on one hand and a brick of milk on the other. Before she could speak, he parted his lips and gasped, noticing the things he had left in the kitchen and that he needed to take out for her. Two cups of coffee.

—For your own sake, don't enter the kitchen in the next thirty minutes —he suggested—. I'll tidy it all.

—It's alright, as long as you're the one cleaning it —she added, taking a seat on the dinner table.

—Of course —he clicked his tongue funnily—. Your coffee maker is different from mine.

—It's better if you just don't tell me anything about that —she stopped him before he could continue—. If you tell me what you did, I'll imagine how the kitchen is looking and the last thing I want is leaving for work with the image of a mess in my head. So let's just not.

—Well, in that case. Coffee blew out the pot and stained the walls and...

—Stop, stop —seeing he continued his talk while smiling, Y/n stood up, bending over the table to cover his mouth with two of her hands.

—I rather be shut with a kiss —the palm of her hands made his voice sound muffled.

—What about a toast down your throat? —she suggested, returning back to her place.

—Not recommended —he grimaced—. I once almost choked on a slice of bread living alone, it was the worst minute of my life.

—No wonder you're like this. That minute without oxygen made a disaster —she slowly shook her head in disgust.

—But you like it.

—I tolerate it —she finally accepted, spreading some butter on her toast.

—That's better than hearing you blatantly deny it —he commented, satisfied—. It's an advance.

Jungkook's legs shook under the table, feeling uncomfortable with the silence that surrounded them with that one last smile she showed to wave the white flag, avoiding the bickering that would have broken their peace.

—Besides dealing with gangsters and dangerous people, what do you do in your work?

—What do I do? —she hooked her index over her mouth to cover it while she spoke��� Not much. I do the article and coverages no one wants to do, basically —she shrugged—. Like the man that spent five hours stuck on a baby walker.

—Wait, Tommy Pickles was yours? —he asked.

—Tommy Pickles as in the Rugrats character? —she asked surprised— Oh fuck, that's a really good one.

Mainly because the man did look exactly like the character on that show.

—Did you watch that show, too? —Jungkook asked, surprised.

—Well, the real question is who, around our age, didn't watch that show when younger.

—You'd be surprised —he scoffed—. I remember having the vhs of the movies at home, and watching them whenever I sneaked out of school.

Y/n couldn't help but roll her eyes at that comment. It was the most predictable comment he could've said. Of course he was the type of kid to skip school as soon as his parents dropped him off for work.

—Well, I didn't really skip school, unless I was sick —she added—. But I do remember watching it whenever I was sick, eating a bunch of dunkaroos with milk, even if my belly was about to blow.

—Dunkaroos? —Jungkook tilted his head with curiosity— I know a place that sells ice cream with the flavor. I've never felt encouraged enough to try it.

—It's either the best thing on the planet, or the biggest aberration —she joked—. Either way, I'd love to try it.

—Let's go —he suggested after swallowing what he was eating—. When I pick you up, we can go straight there and then come back here.

Y/n looked at him, thinking deeply about the idea he had come up with. It was the first time they were going to be out outside with something that didn't involve boxing, in a neutral environment with no other reason than to spend time together.

And it was his idea.

—It's an idea —she nodded.

—You can just say yes —his eyes looked at her over the curve of the cup, while he lifted it up to drink the remaining coffee inside.

—Well, yes —she chuckled, looking away—. I doubt I'll have too much work today either, so I'll probably be done before six.

—Okay, so I pick you up at six. Will you send me the location?

—Yeah —she assured him.

It was a date? Jungkook felt strange at the sensation that meeting was causing him, the uneasy feeling on his stomach and the sudden excitement when she agreed to meet up with him for no other reason than to spend time with him, to do a plan that he himself suggested. The most likely scenario was that it was caused only over something as simple as finally getting something he never thought he would. Y/n had been a difficult one, and all those newe feelings were probably new different types of satisfaction related to his awaited and deserved win against her pride.

That was it.

—Is there something wrong? —she was encouraged to ask.

For a whole minute, Y/n saw the way Jungkook's eyes got lost in one spot of the table in concrete, with his lips suddenly dropping the smile that was adorning his face and pushing the subtle dimples on his cheeks to show off.

—No, no —he rushed to answer—. I was just... Being me. You know, the weirdo you love to hate.

He felt scared of his own laugh while he tried to play it cool, cringed at the snort he let out while he got up from his chair and ran to escape her. He had never ever heard that type of ugly smile on him.

Y/n was left there, seeing him walking to the door and exiting while he waved his hand in the air, letting it get closed behind him.

It wasn't like she had an attentive control on his schedule, but she knew Jungkook left for work later than her. It didn't escape her attention how he'd get out at the same time, and then spend a few more minutes inside the building, pretending to be fixing his motorbike.

Two knocks on her door got her out of guard, confused at who could be calling so early, only to find Jungkook with his lips pressed against one another, while his teeth played with his lip ring, walking past her to enter her house again.

—I didn't have to leave yet.

Y/n looked around while closing the door, shocked by the slow change in attitude on him. Whether he was on medication, or boxing started showing its consequences, she wasn't the one to complain about it.

She didn't take long to leave, jumping at the realization of how late it was for her when she checked the time on her phone.

Jungkook only saw her running to her room, and coming out of it completely clothed, while also running back out after waving goodbye at him.

And time never went by as slowly for him as it did that day.

The hardest he thought about his plans, the longer the hours were, and the biggest Jimin teases were. He could only take mental notes of all those jokes, and pay back to his friend for them as soon as he got the chance to do so. And as much as he wanted to get back at JImin for that, it was more than obvious that he found himself as ridiculous as his friend did -well, probably even worse. Because, even if Jimin joked about it, he still rathered seeing him as lost and excited over that new feeling than that fake confident facade that he only used to attract uninteresting girls.

It was a new version of Jungkook that he'd need to work on.

—Why don't you leave earlier? —Jimin commented, not lifting his eyes from the notebook.

—I'll pick her up from here.

—Don't be lame. This is your chance with her —he tried to convince him—. Use your shampoo at home, shave and dress better than with those old clothes.

—You're acting as if I wanted to win her —he scoffed—. I don't.

—Your choice —his friend shrugged—. All I'm saying is that it's a bit dumb for you to stay here doing nothing, when you could use your time better.

Jungkook took a few minutes to process his words, playing with his lip ring on his tongue while he looked around.

—I'll leave earlier, but because I want to do some things... yeah.

—Sure.

There was no point in trying to fool Jimin, considering he had known him for over a decade. And he was also awful at lying, especially since he lost so much practice throughout the years.

Time went by faster when he arrived at her place, casually meeting up Roger right when he was about to make his way past their landing to take his daughters to one of the several extracurriculars they did. That was the last sign he needed to know that it was going to be a good day, he was lucky enough.

���Do I leave you my keys in case you need them?

—No, it's alright —he assured him—. I won't come out unless it's to leave for good to pick up Y/n, so they won't be necessary.

—Good then —Roger nodded, opening the door for him—. Have a nice evening.

—You, too.

With a new feeling of satisfaction by how things were evolving that day, and coming out for him, Jungkook smiled and tilted his head, undressing himself slowly and humming songs while swinging his head in the air.

And his high was only interrupted when the lights turned off, leaving him in the dark before he could even get in the shower.

Jungkook lost count of how many times his shinbone collided against the furniture that turned invisible while his eyes tried to get used to darkness, trying to find his phone on the coffee table where he had left it, to be able to light up the flashlight. It was obvious it was something temporary, due to how old the building was -which was the same reason why he was in Y/n's house instead of staying on his own.

His tongue clicked in exhaustion when he saw nothing weird on the panel, thinking that probably it had something to do with the big panel in the meter room -which wasn't the first time it gave a problem, without Y/n sneaking her hand on it.

He left his phone on the small cabinet she had for the keys, tying his towel tighter and stepping outside her place while leaving her door half opened -just enough for it not to close while he was outside. And, considering it'd be something fast, he didn't even think of getting fully dressed to check that small detail.

He wished he had.

At some point while returning from fixing the sudden problem on the panel, his towel got stuck on the railing, falling back down from the first floor, and leaving him completely naked in the middle of the building.

It was easy: going downstairs quickly, and getting his towel back. But the sound of a door unlocking got him rushing to the third floor, with the only hope to step inside her place and forget about that uncomfortable moment, finding the door completely locked in front of him.

He could feel the exact moment his blood went cold and fell to his feet while he tried to push it, thinking anything would change with a movement that barely made the door move.

He was fucked, and there was no one he could run to for help. So he tried to go downstairs again, finding no trace of his towel on the ground floor, not even on the corners. It was gone.

Hearing voices again, Jungkook rushed back to the meter room, hiding himself there until people stopped coming and going. His head almost banged against the door of the small room out of desperation, unable to understand how it all went south so quickly, and so bad.

The only thing he could use to cover himself were the two dirty rags in that same place, tying them together by the corner to make them fit his hip and rush back up to wait for her by her door. Although he didn't know it'd make him feel so ridiculous until his ringtone started blasting through her door, announcing her several calls and confirming him that he was ruined if she saw him that way.

Y/n was annoyed, regretful of ever trusting him on picking her up, but even more on giving him a second chance when she should have known he wasn't someone she could trust. It was so obvious he was going to pull a trick on her, yet she still fell for his cute act over a rusty breakfast.

She was looking forward to that afternoon, it actually excited her to think about seeing Jungkook out of his comfort zone and in an area she had never seen him before.

Only for it to be ruined. Not to mention she could've been home earlier, yet she got back home two hours later because she kept waiting for him to show up.

Although those thoughts didn't take long to disappear from the back of her head when she took the last step to her house, seeing Jungkook half naked, with his head against the wall while he sat on the step next to her door. It didn't take her much thought to guess what happened, the moment she saw the door closed and his lost stare she knew what the reason was.

Jungkook didn't dare to look at her. He knew what were the first words coming out of her mouth, and he didn't need her to light the dangerous wick that was so close to the bomb.

—How long have you been here? —she asked, rushing to find her keys— Oh god, you must be so cold.

Her attitude shocked him more than he'd have liked to admit, feeling completely weak at how soft and caring she was being with him.

—Four hours.

—Four...? —her tongue clicked, shaking her head as she opened and let him come in first— Why didn't you ask for help?

—Who? Roger left and took your keys with him, I don't know your phone number, and it isn't a good plan to show off in front of anyone's house like this? —he pointed at himself.

Y/n finally noticed the old rags, with two knots at the edge of his hips.

—What are you wearing?

—I had to improvise —he admitted—. And don't hold back, laugh. I can see you're dying to.

—How could I? —she shook her head— Why don't you go get dressed though? And you can continue telling me how you ended up like this.

Y/n could've laughed when he told her how he was stuck outside because he was too dumb to remember to carry his phone with him, or how he was so careless to go outside with no clothes on other than a towel -which didn't tie well around his hip since the very beginning. It was a disaster. But she only smiled, biting her lip, while her expression gave away all the laughs she was holding back, to cover them up with comments to make him feel better, after he returned to her completely clothed after a shower.

—Look at the positive side —she tapped his arm—. None of the old ladies saw you. Imagine if they had confused you with Tarzan?

—So funny —he mocked back.

—It's a funny story you can tell your children —she suggested—. "The time I was left out in the cold, trying to survive with two rags and a big ego" —she exaggerated the movements of her hands to simulate a title.

—It was a really bad time.

—I can imagine —she assured him—. You should remember my phone number though.

—Why?

—Are you seriously asking why? —her eyes squinted with challenge.

—Nevermind.

He hadn't ever learnt a phone number, only his father's -and it was because he was eight, and he didn't have a phone to check numbers in case there was an emergency.

—Just in case you forget your phone inside again, and you need something.

—I have a really bad memory —he chuckled.

—Then write it down somewhere.

Y/n looked around, glancing at the thin pen lying somewhere on the coffee table. She first tried to make sure it worked while drawing on the napkin she had in front of her, only to turn to him again, holding his hand by the wrist without telling him anything first.

—You insist so much on how the brain works better through memories, so let's create this annoying one so your brain connects this with my phone number.

—That's actually... dumb —he cackled.

Jungkook tried to fight how goot her fingers felt while holding his hand, with the tip of the pen feeling soft on his palm with each number she noted down. It also made him dizzy feeling her so close, losing control over his body as it kept moving forward in her direction.

—I'm really sorry for making you wait —he whispered.

—I think... —she hawked— I think you had enough with being stuck outside. It's a good excuse —nervousness made her words sound weak and shaky, losing the aim of the joke.

—I'm still sorry. I was looking forward to it.

The second her eyes fell to his lips, she knew she was losing at whatever game they were playing.

Her body moved out of her control, slowly closing her eyes before she felt the contrast of soft and harsh when their lips linked together. It wasn't the crazy and passionate type of kiss they had been used to since they knew each other. It was slow, it was deep, it was intimate, a moment only between the two of them and their racy heart beatings.

And that scared Jungkook.

Before Y/n could even think of opening her mouth to take the next step, he moved back, breaking the kiss.

—I think it'll be better if we go to sleep.

There was no way he said that, at nine. He was sending her to bed, when he had the chance to take her beyond what he could even imagine.

And that confused Y/n.

—Right —she nodded, slowly dragging her body away from him—. It was a crazy day.

He didn't know how he controlled himself not to run behind her when she picked her jacket from the backrest, with a clear look on her face that showed how she wanted more. He had it done, yet he rejected the chance for no clear reason. 

Taglist: @jk97bam @ttanniett

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Emo? It is love

Jeremy Farrell x girlfriend!reader

warning : hurt/comfort, cuddling, kissing

Summary : A day full of annoying questions, arguments with his mom and the police, Jeremy is just glad to be back in his room and have his love with him because everything is better with a guitar, loud music and her voice.

info : the episode was so boring but he was the good part so yes back to being emo and welcome to a new story enjoy reading :)

masterlist

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Colorful dresses, girls with styled up hair and mothers trying way too hard to revive their shattered and passed dream. It was once again one of those beauty contests for girls where the words poor children who are forced would fit better if it were up to Jeremy and his love who had come along as so often.

The young couple stood out all dressed in black with leather and fuzzy hair, ,,When is this going to end?" she asked for the fifth time, tugging at her cross earring, disappointed that she hadn't charged her mp3 player and now had to listen to the fifth country music track.

But no sooner had she said the words than she felt his hand on hers, his cool fingers playing with her rings, a thing he always did, not just when he was bored or nervous, but Jeremy did it to entertain her.

,,Trust me and we'll be out of here in no time," he said, giving her a brief hopeful look before his sister finally appeared on stage, the brown-haired girl barely older than maybe ten she almost didn't recognize.

But she kept her comment to herself. his mother was sitting right next to her, which would have been unwise. But in fact he kept his word and after a short demonstration and a short bearding they emerged victorious.

At least Jeremy seemed a little pleased about it, he supported his sister even if he didn't always approve of the whole thing. ,,Thanks again for letting me spend the night with you," she said in the car on the way to her boyfriend's house, she saw his brief amused grin at her choice of words and got a brief nod and a ,,Gladly" from his mother who turned up the radio.

They were supposed to spend the rest of the day together in his room with the music turned up so that they could barely hear their mother's voice while Jeremy listened to her talk about her new guitar playing ideas, he was busy with his own projects and he mostly took care of his worn boots, ,,You'll see yourself reflected in them one day," she said, pointing to the chrome caps at the beginning of the leather and she put the guitar away.

She crawled over to him from the head of the bed and looked into the decorated mirror before she saw his grin and gave him a kiss, which he returned.

They hadn't seen each other for a few days, not only because of their two mini-jobs, but also because his mother had been using him more and more as a pack mule for his sister.

There was something in the air between them as she felt his hand slide down her thigh and she smiled too, knowing how it might end if his hand was already there, ,,I missed you," she heard him murmur when he broke the kiss for a moment.

She dropped onto her back and was about to engage him in another kiss when his door opened and almost thundered against the wall, ,,Jeremy! We have to go to the police…your girlfriend stays here!" she shouted over the music and hurried to grab her things.

Her boyfriend suddenly looked not only annoyed but also confused as he slowly detached himself from her and turned to his shoes, ,,Is everything okay? Have you done something wrong?" she dared to ask and put a hand on his shoulder but he just shook his head with a sigh and stood up.

,,No don't worry…I just have a feeling what it might be about" was all he said before giving her one last loving look and assuring her that he would be back quickly before the door to his room closed and she was left alone.

She remained sitting on the bed for a few more moments with a sigh and a nervous expression. The music was still on, the lyrics were booming in her ears and she could easily feel his presence.

,,Why do you have to go to the police?" she mumbled to herself and after a few minutes of pondering and playing the guitar for no reason, she decided to drop in on his little sister, who knew what was going on but seemed rather strangely beside herself.

She took a moment for the girl and suggested doing her hair in braids while she gave the pink-clad girl suggestions and advice and listened to her.

Despite their outward appearances, they got on well, which was not quite the case with Jeremy's mother, who only tolerated her as Jeremy's friend and that was that. ,,I like you no matter what my mother says" was the last thing she said to the older girl before she finished with the braids and gave her a big hug and the moment passed before she left the room and went back to Jeremy's room.

I can unpack my things, she thought as she switched from the music to the local news channel, hoping to catch something.

She didn't think that Jeremy had stolen anything, nor had he caused any bodily harm, but when after a few minutes she heard the announcement that a body had been found at the sewage works, she paused.

It was a strange feeling to hear something like that here in the small town, but now Jeremy was driving her crazy with all the news. Although they liked dark things and morbid stuff here and there, there were limits and although he was sometimes just being himself, he would never do that.

,,Then why are you here?" she asked herself as she unpacked her last t-shit and put it in the little space in his closet and decided to kill time by writing poems and song lyrics.

Lyrics that sometimes became emotional, sometimes nothing at all and sometimes even something good, she jumped up from the bed when the door to the house opened and she heard suspicious silence.

But just as she and his sister arrived in the living room, his mother's voice thundered through the house, ,,Dinner's later, you're all going to your rooms now," the voice of a mother worrying about her son who had to go to the police about something.

Understandable and of course difficult situation and yet misunderstood. Actually something quite normal, but when she saw that Jeremy no longer had his shoes on, only more questions seemed to arise. He didn't say anything until the door closed behind him and they both sat back down on the bed.

He let out a long sigh and rubbed his face, ,,The cops took my shoes…because they think I murdered one of those princesses," was the first and only thing he said at that moment. Words that made her pause, he had nothing to do, he was always with her, no, he would have told her that too, wouldn't he?

Her uncertainty made her falter, but when she saw the nervous eyes almost leaning towards her, hands wrapped around her body and heard an almost sad sigh, she couldn't help but wrap her hands around him, ,,I'm sure they just wanted to look at themselves," she tried to lighten the mood and heard him smirk, which turned into a small laugh and his mood lifted.

The brown-haired one dropped back onto the bed and crossed her hands, playing with her fingers and looking at the ceiling covered with posters of tape, ,,I didn't kill her, why the hell would I? They're just looking for a goth suspect" he said contemptuously and looked briefly at his leather bracelet which he was lucky to keep and his white socks didn't quite match his darker outfit but she had also seen a lot of socks on him just as he had seen a lot of socks on her not only black and dark leather ones but also colorful bunny slippers in the winter when it was cold.

,,Cops look for excuses but you have nothing to do with it…besides, you have to take care of someone as alone as I was, I got scared," she mumbled and blinked her eyelashes quickly, even though she knew she was joking slightly and he was giggling too, they both saw in each other's eyes that it was true.

For the moment, there was nothing they could do to stop each other, because even the strongest young woman couldn't stand up to the police, especially when there was a suspicion of murder.

Jeremy moved closer to her and kissed the fingers he had been holding earlier, running them through his hair, playing with the strands and running them over the leather of his bracelet.

,,I'll never let you go then," he said before giving her one last soft kiss and wrapping his arms around her as they had until the late dinner anyway so they might as well take a nap in each other's arms knowing that despite all the rudeness out there, they had each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@angelsanarchy , @starry-eyed-wild-child

[brandonduhaimes]

What if (M.B.)

Credits to gif maker

Authors note: thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy! Sorry for any spelling/grammar errors im writing from my phone since i left my laptop at work.

Length: 3.8k

Saturday mornings on days Matt didn't have a game were simply the best. This morning he had you pinned under him as a way to keep you from getting up.

"Babe you have to get off your crushing me” you yell out as he whines before rolling over so you can breathe freely again. "You got me all wet with your dripping hair. Next time dry it before laying on me."

"What do you want to do this morning since you wont let me cuddle you?" He sighs with a pout on his lips.

"You are so dramatic sometimes you know that?" You giggle as he pulls you into his side and wraps his arms around your waist.

"I wouldn't have to be if you would just let me lay on you," he sighs dramatically "but no i can't suffocate you lovingly."

"Maybe in a couple years you can, but not today i still have a life to live," you add continuing your fake argument.

"Well Y/N, I hope I get to be a part of that life because you are the one constant I have. Hockey is changing everyday, especially since the trade deadline is coming up."

Boldy wasn't planning on leaving Minnesota but he knows that soon some of the people he cares about most could be gone. He definitely doesn't want you to leave too. "What if we just i don't know moved to Canada or something, escape it all."

"Ah yes canada where no hockey exists and you would be free." He smiles at your comment and kisses your forehead softly.

"You're right that might possibly be the worst place for me to go. One of the teams up there would find me and hold me hostage or something." You both laugh at that and he holds you a little bit tighter "but seriously I love you and I need you with me forever. I don't think that i could move on from you even if i tried."

"I love you too Matt I don't plan on leaving ever." You reach your arm across his stomach trying to pull him even closer.

"Well, then I know what we are doing today!" He says shooting up out of bed leaving you utterly confused.

"And what exactly do you have in mind?" You ask "for someone who didn't want to get up not even five minutes ago you sure did change your mind fast."

"I love you more than I've ever thought possible so with great advice from an icon i am in-fact going to put a ring on it." With that he grabs your arm and drags you out of bed. "Go get in the shower!"

"Matthew you are absolutely the goofiest person Ive ever met." You laugh as he drags you towards the shower.

What you didn't know was that Matt had already picked out the ring, talked to your parents (who were on their way over), and the boys who were all waiting in his front yard.

When you got out of the shower Matt was no where to be found. The only thing proving he was still in the house was the outfit he had placed on your bed. It seemed a little dressy for a Saturday morning but you slipped it on anyways.

You walked down the stairs to find mason brandon and connor in the hallway.

"What are you three doing in my house?" You ask and they just laugh as Connor grabs your hand and escorts you outside. Mason and Brandon follow behind you giggling like school boys.

"We have your first clue." Brandon says as Mason hands you a small handwritten note and your car keys.

You stopped and took a minute to read the note: "It was snowing on the day we met and the roads were horrible. What if you didnt come that day? Would fate have still brought us together if you never showed up?"

The first day you had met Matt was at a fan meeting. He had spent almost forty minutes signing autographs for people when all the sudden he couldn't speak. He was to stunned to talk to the person standing in front of him. He did however manage to write his number on the back of the puck you had brought for him to sign.

"Thanks boys," you say as you get in your car.

"No problem Y/N have fun!" Mason yells before shutting the door for you. As you drive to the X you wonder what you are getting yourself into.

(Matt's POV)

"Are you sure you aren't going to overboard?" Connor asked as he took the note and your car keys.

"I had so many memories with them in the x that it would be weird for me to not make this a part of it. My first hattrick was the night that we went on our first date. That was the best Valentine's day ever for me. I knew that day I had found the love of my life." He reminds him.

"You just wish you had thought of it first dew, let it be." Brandon chirps making everyone laugh quietly so you wouldn't hear them.

"Alright ill see you guys in like an hour for set up. Thank you so much."

With that I got in my car and headed to the florist to pick up the flowers.

(Your POV)

You park and make your way towards the supposed to be vacant building to find Jordan, Hartman, Dumba and Brodin inside the front doors. (the ones on the riverside with the hockey lodge next to it.)

They swing open the doors dramatically and Jordan gives you a hug before ushering you quickly inside and into the hockey lodge. Once inside they handed you bag of your favorite candy and a small note.

You opened the note to read: "what if you had just taken the free tickets and not came down to the locker room after? (Not that i think you are that kind of person though)"

Before you could make your way down Jordan held his arm out "Let me escort you." He says and you laugh at the goofy face he makes. The two of you had hung out with eachother often and were really close friends, so you took his arm.

As the two of you walked he spoke up. "You know Boldy is probably one of the best guys on the planet. You have no idea the difference you make in his life. I haven't seen him this happy in a while. So thank you for that."

"He makes me really happy too. I don't think I could have been more lucky. The schedule is hard but as long as he's happy i wouldn't want any if it to change. He's made me a better person by just being around." You respond and Jordan smiles.

"Thats the best part of finding the one you are meant to be with, it changes both of you for the better and it works no matter what."

You and Jordan finish the walk to locker room laughing and up to your usual antics. He stops outside of the doors "I believe this is your stop. Thank you for choosing big rig trucking."

"Thanks for the escort Greenie." You say before pushing the doors open. Jordan salutes you and you laugh as he walks away.

(Matt's POV)

While I was on my way to the flower shop I called Jordan.

"Remember they would probably walk through the arena so dont let them go alone I don't want the next parts to be ruined."

"You got it I'll make sure to walk them down through the outside offices." He responds.

"Jordan what if they say no? What if its too soon?" I ask starting to think I may have been too early.

"I think that you know when its time." He says, "you were pretty dead set on it last week when you were trying to get coach to approve the day off."

He was right, I knew that it was the right time and its the day of so of course I would be nervous. "You're right Greenie I just got nervous all the sudden, but I have to get to the florists so im gonna let you go."

"Drive safe bolds" he says and we say our goodbyes.

(Your POV)

As you walk through the door you are met with the smiling faces of Sam, Sammy, Adam, Marco and Calen.

"Welcome to the locker room, its not like you haven't been here before but y'know i didnt really know what else to say." Calen says making you laugh as they show you Matt's locker which had a small note on the bench.

It read: "What if you had decided not to go up to the press box with me while we waited for everyone to leave?" Next to the note was a beautiful silver locket with the picture you had taken of the two of you in the press box inside. On the other side it had the words "my happily ever after."

Adam then came up to you and help you put the locket around your neck.

After this Rossi escorted you to the press box. After a few moments, he asked you, "Y/n do you believe in love at first sight?"

"I do." You say, "I think that when you meet the one you are supposed to be with the world stops. Its just you and them in that moment."

"Boldy believes in it too. When he met you and came back down to the locker room after, all he could say was that he had just met the love of his life. We all thought he was crazy. Of course it was Connor and I that were down there and we just hadn't met the one yet." He smiles thinking of his girlfriend. "Now that we've both found them we agree with him."

"I'm glad you found yours Rossi and I'm glad I have mine too." You replied smiling.

You continued walking in a comfortable silence before finally reaching the doors to the press box.

"Well this is where I leave you." He smiles and walks away.

(Matt's POV)

As I leave the florists I call Y/N's dad.

"Hey Matt how are you coming along there? We are done with the set up here, we just need the flowers," he asks.

"I'm on my way now." I respond "Jordan texted me like ten minutes ago saying that he dropped them at the locker room so it should be like 45 minutes still."

"Perfect! It looks like it will all work out perfectly timing wise." He then adds, "I don't know how you came up with this idea but it's amazing. I wish i would have thought of something like this."

"Mr. Y/L/N they don't deserve anything less. They are my entire world and I want to remind them everyday. So if I can go big here it will make it easier for them to remember how much I love them."

"You're a great man Boldy don't ever forget that." Y/D/N says "I'm going to let you go since you are driving and we don't need you injured."

"I'll see you soon Mr. Y/L/N!" I respond and we say our goodbyes.

(Your POV)

As I made my way into the press box I was met by Ekkie, Middsy, Gus, Freddie, Jonny, and Moose.

"Welcome to the press box!" Moose yells making all of you laugh. He guides you over to the radio panel where a small note is waiting for you.

It read: "What if you didn't go skating with me? I was so excited to show you who I am that I didn't even think about how you might not have known how. Im glad you did." On the floor next to the note was a pair of skates. The ones you had worn during your first date and the many after them.

You look out over the ice to see some faces you recognize already waiting for you on the rink. "We thought you might need a couple of escorts to the rink. We wouldn't want you getting lost." Moose says and you laugh as the boys follow you down to the rink.

As you make your way down to the entrance you smile as you find more faces than before. All of the boys you had talked to already had made their way to the rink and were skating to their hearts content. "Y/N?" Moose questions "will you skate with us for a little while?"

"Of course!" You say and laugh as he helps you lace your skates up. As you make your way onto the ice you are ran into by a very happy Mason Shaw.

"Sorry Y/N! I didn't mean to I just wanted to say hi again!" He pulls you into a hug. "What do you think of all this?"

"Its really cool, he really worked hard on this." You reply as reavo also makes his way over. The rest of the boys follow and you stop to chat with Moose and Reavo while the others take turns racing up and down the rink trying to prove who the fastest one is.

"I think its nice to know that I have no chance in winning that. Not with Connor on the ice." Reavo says making both you and Moose laugh.

"I dont know Sammy has a pretty good chance too. I saw him play a lot at the U." You respond

"I agree but in all seriousness, you're probably the luckiest person on earth. Boldy can be sassy but he's so genuine that it almost makes up for it. When he knows something is important he gives 110 percent. Its my favorite quality of his," Moose responds.

"I don't think that they are the lucky one in this situation though, Boldy has found someone who has never given up on him and thats what he's always needed. I dont think most people could make it through the schedule. Y/N watching the two of you get close has been one of my favorite off ice moments. Even if we win the cup this year the whole team will remember today as a day worth celebrating." Reavo says hyping you up.

"I feel like I'm the lucky one here he has an amazing support system with you guys around. I'm just glad to be a part of it." You say as Reavo and Moose pull you into a hug. Mason Connor and Brandon notice and soon you are in a group hug with about 20 other guys.

After that you are met with a line of guys all waiting with a flower in hand. One by one each skates up and gives you a hug and the flower. A beautiful red rose just like the flowers Matt had gotten you on the night of your first date. At the end of the long line was the ever wonderful Jared Spurgeon. He handed you the last flower before you noticed that all of the boys except he, goose, Fleury, Kirill, and Mats had made their way out of the arena.

"We have one last note for you." Mats says, "the rest you have to do on your own."

You take the note from him and giggle as you read: "Hopefully this has been a fun little outing for you. I have one last question though. What if you hadn't agreed to move in with me this year? I spent a long time trying to figure out how I want to live my life and I hope you and I have similar plans. Maybe you can meet me at the house?"

"One last escort okay with you?" Jared asks, "I figured I would know the fastest way out of here since I've been here a while."

You smile and take his arm. He walks with you to the front doors before handing you one last thing. "Boldy asked me to give you this. He says its really important that you listen to it on the way back."

"Thanks Jared. I appreciate you walking me back." You respond taking the CD from his hands.

"My car was here so it worked out well." He smiles at you. As you turn to get into your car you hear "One final thing Y/N"

You turn around to look at him again "yes?"

"He really does love you. I think that you are one of the few things keeping him going these days. The season can be long but its easier when you have someone to come to. Remembering how I felt when I first started this job makes me really glad that he found you. He's matured since he met you and he fights for what he believes in now. His confidence is way better with you around so thank you."

"Thank you Jared, I think that we balance each other well. He's made me who I want to be and I plan on being around for a while," you respond.

"Well get on home! He's waiting." Jared says and you smile as you get into your car.

Jared was gone before you even had your seatbelt buckled but, before you left you turned on the CD that Matt made.

You laughed as Kid in Love by Shawn Mendes started playing. Matt had listened to you play it on your guitar many times and you smiled remembering the day you caught him singing it in the kitchen.

As you drove, more songs that you both loved played, making the drive seem way to quick. While you were excited to see what the rest of the day had in store you couldn't help but hope the drive continued.

As you made your way up the drive way you smiled to see the garage door already open. You parked and made your way inside to be greeted by your puppy Jax. Even with the crazy actions of the six month old puppy you didn't miss the note taped to his collar.

"Jax sit." The puppy stopped and sat waiting patiently for your next words. You grabbed the note from his collar and smiled as you read: "Can you let me outside please? Dad wouldn't let me go out with out you."

"Lets go outside Jax!" With that the little puppy went back to the jumping and overly excited animal you were used to. He lead you to the back door tail wagging and barking loudly.

(Matt's POV)

Jax alerted us that Y/N was inside which meant that my plan worked. I stood outside next to the tree that we had spent the night dancing under when we first moved here.

As Y/N walked out the back door I froze. They were perfect. Absolutely perfect.

I spent all morning getting this ready and I couldn't figure out what to do next. "Well hi Matt, how was your morning?" Y/N smiled at me as they came up to me.

"Mine was pretty busy." I say laughing, "how was yours?"

"Pretty crazy honestly. The love of my life set up the most beautiful morning for me and let me get to know his teammates who are wonderful escorts by the way."

"Im glad that they took care of you well." I responded smiling, "I hope that maybe I can do better than they did though."

(Your POV)

"How do you plan on doing that? Moose is a pretty smooth talker." You crack a smile and that seems to break the tension as he laughs as well.

"Will you go on a walk with me Y/N?" He whispers "I've got something to show you."

"Of course I will." You reply and with that he takes your hand and walks down to your dock. At the end is a beautiful set up with candles and flowers. Not to mention the roses leading all the way down the dock.

You smile as he leads you to the end. He stops and you can feel his hands shaking from nerves. You knew what was coming but waited, pretending not to notice your parents and siblings watching on the beach with his family and the rest of the team.

"Y/N I've spent the last few years getting to know you and I couldn't imagine spending any of the years ahead with out you." He takes a deep breath and continues. "I want to be there when you are sick and can't get out of bed. I want to be there on the days when the kids are being loud because they have friends over and the days after those when you are cranky in the morning because you didn't get any sleep. I want you to be there for me when I get another hattrick and I want you to be there for family skates and I want you to be with me forever."

He stops and gets down on one knee before finishing. "I want to be there on your wedding day. I want to take your hand after your dad walks you down the aisle. So with that being said, will you marry me?"

You smile as the tears start to fall slowly. "Matt I want to be there with you when our kids have their first day of school. I want to be there when you hit one thousand games. I want to be there to watch you break records. I want to be there when you can't find the back of the net. I want to be there when you are injured and when you go back to playing after injury." You take a deep breath as you feel the pressure in your chest release. "Yes I will marry you."

With those words said, cheers erupt from the beach as Matt picks you up and spins you around in a tight hug. He places his lips on yours and dips you backwards. You hold him tightly and smile through the kiss trying not to to chuckle as Connor Mason and Brandon make endless noise. Boldy then stood you up and placed the ring he had bought you on your finger before taking your hand. The rest of the younger boys joined in the cheering as you and Matt's parents sat quietly holding each other with tears in their eyes.

From the beach you hear Jared taking over dad role and yelling at all of them to stop rilling up the dog who had somehow managed to tackle Dumba. Both Jax and Dumba seemed to be okay with this though.

You make your way back up to shore and you notice that Dean Evason had also been standing on the beach. "The Minnesota Wild have one more gift for you." He states and hands you and Matt both a package. You opened them together to find matching Jerseys. Both with the name Boldy on them with the numbers 22-23 on the back.

In yours was a small note that said: congratulations to the two of you may this lead to many happy years ahead.

In yours was a small note that said: congratulations to the two of you may this lead to many happy years ahead.

[temis-de-leon]

I'M FREE TO COMMENT!!! Your Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Belphegor have a nightmare where he rejected you post is so good! I love it especially Asmodeus can't live without the support of his fans 💕💕, he can't help but compare them despite knowing they're not quite the same ⚖️, he felt like he's ungrateful to his fans despite feeling honoured by their confession 🥺, he rejected with ease but he wanted to comfort them 🫴, he didn't realise how much he missed their love ❤️, he also realise how much they care about him not just his looks 😔 he tried to see the look of love in their eyes but it faded as weeks passed by 🥲, he wondered if they would have look at him again if he had changed himself enough 😞, he noticed how they looked at Lucifer instead 👀, he realised it's too late by how they're looking at Lucifer 💔, they woke up to his sobbing 😭, they couldn't really understand what was he saying ❓, just how badly his state is because of the nightmare 😢, he threw himself at them as he murmured 🫂, what they could hear him say 💔, they realised he isn't conscious 😴, they laid under him while hoping whatever is bothering him will stop 🛑, Beelzebub only sees them as a friend as well as his family matters weighs on his mind 😔, their presence won't change the fact his family isn't complete 😞, his first real interaction with them was when he was willing to kill them over custard (⁠゜⁠o⁠゜⁠; they loved thanks to his brothers being fond of them 👍, he gradually grew closer to them when they stayed in his room 👥, he thought their friendship was mutual 👍🫶, he told them how he only seen them platonically when they confessed 🥲, he promised nothing will change but it strained their relationship 😢, he thought about accepting it instead 🤔, the irony is he fell for them when they overcame their crush on him 💔, he woke up wanting to feel some part of them against him 🥺, he wouldn't have let them go if they were here 🫂, he felt unwell but looked around until he saw an empty chair 🪑, they returned to the room & asked if they woke him up ❓, he wanted to make sure they're real but he doesn't know if he deserve to 🥺, he felt detached from his body so he feared he might hurt them 🤕, they had a simple explanation why they left for a short while 📱, he felt relieved when they kissed his forehead 😚, he would do the same to them if he wasn't too tired 😚, they told how he still felt warm so they were about to get a wet towel 🤒, they called him honey 🍯 he's exhausted from pulling them to him 🫂, he kept thinking of them calling him honey 🤭, they reassured him with their words & actions 🥹, Belphegor hated them which I can see it happening 😅, he found their desire to help him amusing 😏, he doesn't think they would be useful to his plan 🤔, he barely tolerated them because he needed their connections 🤐, he listened to them talking while complaining 👂, he was shocked at their feelings but made use of it (⁠●⁠_⁠_⁠●⁠), he wanted to hurt them but he changed his mind after knowing the truth (⁠☉⁠｡⁠☉⁠)⁠!, he thought they would treat him the same as they did before knowing the truth but was proven wrong 😨, they don't even dare to look at him 😣, he thought his apology was enough (⁠゜⁠o⁠゜⁠; they woke up to a loud noise & the scent of lavender 🪻, his words are definitely enough to let them know why it is 🗣️, they're confused but knows he's hiding something 🤐, he asked again which they tried to find a clue ❓, I absolutely love how even they're annoyed with him as he's unclear as well as he did kicked out 👍, they guessed what he wanted to hear but chose the longer route like me 😁, their fingers ran through his hair 👍, he apologised while holding them delicately 👍, they were confused by his second apology 🤨, and he fell asleep by the time they felt brave enough to ask 😴 Thank you so much for doing my request because I love it so much :) I'll read the next part as soon as I can! - Romance Anon

OH MY GOOOD

ROMANCE?? THANK U! 🩷

How was your summer, omg 🥹 It's been so long

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Makeup [S.B]

Sirius Black x plus size!reader

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: a toxic relationship history and a bit of insecurity because of it.

A/N: I did a questionnaire a few days ago to see what kind of reader you would like me to do. This is the first one I do base on that questionnaire and I want to say the following:

The only reason the reader is specified as "plus size!reader" is that if there is someone who fits this description, feel comfortable.

You will never see something like "her FAT body" NO, NEVER

Much less that the One shot revolves around their weight (neither nationality, nor gender identity, nor sexuality nor all the things that they put in that questionnaire). I only write about NORMAL people in normal situations. All bodies are beautiful, we are all beautiful.

So, if you are a plus size person, welcome. If you are not, you can also read it without feeling left out in any way.

I really hope that you feel comfortable with everything I write and that you know that I seek to be as inclusive as possible. Without more to say, thanks for taking the time to read my stuff. Tell me your opinion, if you want!💕

You looked in the mirror one last time.

Sirius, the boy of your dreams, had asked you out on a date and you wanted everything to be absolutely perfect.

You had met him because you both lived on the same floor of the condo block and it was inevitable to bump into him from time to time. It wasn't the best place to live, it was small and a little dirty, but it was the only thing you could afford and the fastest you could find after that happened.

You liked the way Sirius smelled because when he crossed the corridors, you could perceive a mixture of leather (you supposed it was due to all the clothes he used of this material) and an elegant cologne that drove you crazy.

At first, it scared you a little to see him with that piercing in his eyebrow and his multiple tattoos, but later you realized that he was really nobody to be afraid of, on the contrary, he turned out to be a very tender and sweet boy.

The first time you spoke to him it was because you were struggling to open your door while carrying boxes and bags that you had brought from the supermarket. The boy noticed you were having trouble and walked up to you to offer his help, so (still a bit wary) you said yes.

Once he held your purchases, you could open the lock, but when you turned around, you noticed that Sirius was secretly looking at the contents of your bags and when he realized that you had caught him, he blushed.

"Sorry I'm a little gossipy," he said shyly "I'm Sirius"

"I thought you were a gossip"

"No, my name is Sirius" he laughed and it was your turn to blush.

"Oh, sorry"

"Okay, anyone can get confused" he murmured with his charming smile, handing you what he was holding in his hands "I live in the 512" he informed you. Of course, you knew he lived in that apartment; you had seen him come into its thousands of times "In case you need anything. You know, some plumbing or things that have to do with tools and that shit of men" he murmured kindly. You frowned a little and then he quickly added "I mean, it's not that girls can't do that and it's okay if you know how to do those things, you seem like a smart and capable person. It's just that sometimes it's tedious and requires strength... and it's not that you don't have strength, I mean...” Sirius couldn't continue because he heard you giggle and then realized he was looking like an idiot “Just call me if you need anything and if you want to do it, yes?” he explained to you and you nodded with a smile.

"Thanks for offering your help Sirius" you replied, looking at him over your bags.

"You’re welcome, miss..."

"Y/N" you completed. He smiled and wrapped a dark curl around his finger that fell unruly from his ponytail.

"I'll see you later then, Y/N. It was nice to greet you" he said by way of farewell and you nodded to respond.

You haven't felt like this with any guy since you met your dear (sarcasm) ex-boyfriend. The insecurities that he had created in you kept you from thinking about having something else later and you honestly didn't feel ready to have your heart broken again.

But Sirius continued to be kind to you. Whenever he looked at you, he made an effort to have a topic of conversation, even if you were not so eloquent, and little by little, he was gaining your trust and your affection. As the weeks went by, you became good friends who chatted in the elevator or occasionally (when you weren't late for work) went downstairs just to share a little more time.

Until one day Sirius showed up at your door with his clothes stained with something that looked like paint, his hair tied up in a messy way and smelling of burned food. He was so beautiful in his own way and you were so afraid of falling in love with him because you knew beforehand that having something else would be impossible.

After all, no boy would ever love you. It was something that your ex-boyfriend had commissioned to get very well into your head.

"Go out?" you asked a little confused after he asked you. You didn't want to misunderstand things.

"Yes! We could go wherever you want. For ice cream, to dinner, to a park, to the cinema... I don't know, wherever you can think of”

"Why?" was the first thing that occurred to you to ask. Now it was Sirius' turn to look confused.

"Well, I thought it would be an opportunity to meet and... spend more time together" he explained and although you had understood the idea it seemed impossible to think that the boy had any kind of interest in you "But it's fine if you don't want to, I don't pretend be upset"

"I'd love to," you rushed to say, fearful that the opportunity would slip through your grasp. You saw him smile and after exchanging a few more words he left with a smile that you couldn't see, but that was pure joy.

Finally, the day of "go out" arrived and you were about to tell him that you could not go. You were nervous, more than nervous you were anxious about what could happen or what he could say about you.

You had searched your entire wardrobe for something decent to wear and after pulling and removing and taking out the clothes and trying them on, none of them convinced you. You looked in the mirror and didn't feel like it was enough of an outfit to date a man as handsome as him. In the first place, you did not even know why he had chosen to go out with you, because, although you considered yourself a nice person, you could not boast of being the most interesting.

Don't think about it, don't think about it, you kept repeating yourself as you continued to get ready and looked at the wall clock waiting for the time for Sirius to knock on your apartment.

Once you were with your outfit ready, you looked yourself up and down and although he did not completely convince you, you decided to tell yourself that you looked beautiful. Still a little nervous you looked at the makeup bag that was under some things on your dressing table. You hadn't put on makeup for years, because you were still scared to hear the comments in your head with that horrible voice.

You look like a whore.

You shook your head to ward off all the negativity and taking a breath you plucked up the courage to open the zippers and remove the beautiful makeup that you had abandoned. When you were finishing and without giving a chance to regret there was a knock on the door that took you by surprise. You went out and found Sirius wearing a striped t-shirt and ripped jeans that reminded you of that blond singer... Kurt was his name?

"Wow" you heard him say and he caught you staring at him adoringly. But you noticed that he looked at you the same "You are beautiful" he said with a smile. You frowned, again a little afraid that he was lying, but you tried again to push away those ideas of self-sabotage and smiled widely.

"I'm glad you like it. You look very handsome, you look like...”

"A rock star? I know” he said winking at you and managing to make you laugh “It's a joke, thanks for the compliment, sweetie” he replied, with his pretty smile of sealed lips. Just when you were smiling at him you watched him pay special attention to your makeup and put on a face that completely terrified you, taking all your confidence.

"Something wrong?"

"Your makeup" he pronounced. You felt your heart squeeze a little.

"You do not like? I can go take it off if you find it ugly or something like that…”

"Ugly?" he asked offended "No! It’s beautiful, but I feel like it lacks a touch. You know, the cherry on the cake that stands out in your eyes” he explained. You looked at him confused for the third time and he snapped his fingers as if the answer had suddenly come to his head "Eyeliner"

"Eyeliner?"

"Of course! Don't you like to use it? " he said kindly, turning his head to the side. You denied.

"I never learned how to do it" you lied. There was a bit of truth to it, but it also had a lot to do with the fact that he kept repeating that you looked vulgar with the eyeliner.

“I'm good at it! Come with me,” he murmured. He took your hand carefully and dragged you gently through the hall until they reached his apartment. You were a nervous wreck when he invited you to join him. "Sorry about the mess, I'm really the most distracted person on the planet and I forget to arrange things," he said with an embarrassed smile. You looked at some vinyl lying around, clothes, food packages, paintings, a guitar. There was a certain peace and beauty within all that mess, completely reflecting the boy who was desperately searching for his favorite eyeliner.

"Come," he asked once he left his room. You sat in a red leather chair he had and he leaned in your direction, very close to your face "Raise your head and look slightly down" he asked you and you listened. He took you by the chin with one hand and you saw him stick his tongue out just a little bit (as a sign of his concentration) while drawing on your eyelids. When he indicated that he had finished you saw him smile from ear to ear, which you imitated when he saw yourself in a mirror.

"Wow..." you whispered. Years ago, you loved putting on makeup and especially eyeliner, so seeing you again like that you were surprised. Besides, he was right, his hand was excellent at it.

"Now it's perfect, right?" he said excitedly. Perfect, that's how Sirius described what was in front of his eyes.

"Yeah... it looks much better" you admitted shyly. You couldn't believe that Sirius could make you feel so comfortable and calm, as well as help you maintain your confidence in yourself.

"I just hope I don't meet jealous guys for not having someone so pretty accompanying them," he said flirtatiously, making you laugh because of your nerves and making you blush "Shall we go?" he asked smiling and extending a hand to help you up.

You looked at him, still amazed to have found someone like that in your life, and took his hand with a smile.

Who would say that sometimes love stories begin like this?

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[geminil0vr]

"lists" | ron b. weasley (part one)

read part two here !!

summary; you and your boyfriend ron are both completely inexperienced, but one day he asks you what you like in bed. lucky for you, you actually made a list. and he's happy enough to play a few of those fantasies out.

tagged; @weasleyssupremacy

word count; 4.6k

content; smut, fluff, banter, making out, embarrassment, shit ton of blushing, mentions of kinks, mentions of teasing, mentions of hitting, mentions of choking, mentions of sex, mentions of praise, mentions of degradation, cursing, grinding, finger-sucking, spit, cum swallowing, first time foreplay (male receiving oral, female receiving oral), fingering, handjob kinda, orgasms, teaching/instructions, relatively realistic, no aftercare included but you know damn well ron'll take care of you, not really a specific dom/sub dynamic, inexperienced/house-neutral fem!reader, inexperienced boyfriend!ron, think that's it but lemme know if i forgot anything !

a/n; holy shit this took me hours !! in this fic, ron and the reader are sixteen years old. i'm from the uk, where the legal age of consent is sixteen — more specifically, in england, wales and northern ireland, a minor is considered a person under the age of eighteen. and i do not want to write smut about minors, i will never do that. so i did a little more research, standard wiki shite, and in scotland (where hogwarts is) that age is sixteen. sixteen year olds and up are no longer minors in scotland. i know many of you are from different countries and therefore may feel uncomfortable with this age because it doesn't reflect the definition of minor/non-minor in your respective countries, and that is perfectly okay !! i completely understand, hope this made sense bc i'm too fucking exhausted to tell. feel free to scroll by and find another fic to read, please put in a request for any of the harry potter characters if u wish, and have a lovely day :))

you hadn't done much with him.

just kissing, really. some grinding here and there. you were comfortable in each other's grasp, sure, but you both never quite went over that line, of more than kissing, of more than light touching.

didn't make you insecure. nor impatient. it was a comfortable kind of middle ground.

and in that middle ground, you were seated on his thighs, legs either side of him, kissing gently, tenderly. these were tepid, lukewarm, waters, just bordering on more, just bordering on scalding hot, and you didn't mind it. you didn't mind it at all.

pulling back, lips not too swollen, just pink, you smiled softly down at ron weasley.

"you okay?" he asked. you hadn't meant to start kissing, you were just talking, just hanging out, him levitating a marble in his empty bedroom, you reading a book and making sure he didn't try and levitate a lamp — that never went well. not with ron weasley. but he got bored, and your eyes wouldn't focus on the pages, and you'd forgotten your reading glasses and he'd kissed you sweetly, and you'd kissed him back and now... now, you were snogging. you didn't care much for that word. it sounded weird, and heavy, and hot. and things with ron (so far, at least) weren't weighted, and hot, they were warm, and soft, and him.

you took the time to rifle your fingers through his red hair. he'd been letting it grow, just a little, down to the nape of his neck. "yeah, you?"

he grinned cheekily, nose and cheeks flushed already. of course, this was the usual. one kiss from you turned him pink, not out of awkwardness, just passion, you supposed. it was rather cute. and he pushed you further up in his lap, not too close, but closer. you grinned back. you kissed. and you pulled away again, just to look at him.

he took in a sharp breath, before blurting out something he’d wanted to ask for the longest time, "what do you like?"

"hmm?" you tilted your head.

he swallowed. “what do you like?"

"i'm gonna need some context here."

"in bed." now you felt as flushed as he looked. to ask that question, it must've taken a lot of courage. he was a gryffindor after all.

even starting a sentence caused your breathing to pick up. "well, you know i've never done anything before..." that was true. but you'd done your research. you'd actually made a list of what you thought you might like, which was idiotic in retrospect, and quite childish, but you'd done it, and it sat in your bag with a burning prescence.

"but surely you know... ya’ know, what you might like?"

you settled back, more comfortably in his lap, arms still around his neck, but you were less close. "why're you asking?" you teased.

"you know why!" ron groaned, burying his head into your shoulder, and he felt your shoulders shake with nervous laughter.

"well, i guess, i have — well... nevermind." he moved back, face burning, with an eager smile plastered on his face.

"go on, tell me! i want to know."

"it's embarrassing!"

"i won't make fun."

"yes, you absolutely will."

"won't."

"will."

"just tell me."

you swallowed and chewed nervously at your lip. "i've made a list."

"alright, tell me." if he said 'tell me' one more time you would strangle him. speaking of choking, and all that —

"promise you won't judge?"

"promise."

"well it's more of... well, it's not a mental list. i've written it down."

a grin broke out on your boyfriend's face, and you smacked his bicep.

"oi, you said you wouldn't judge!"

"i'm not judging! it's just cute, 's all." his smile faded a little. "so, about that list... why don't you go fetch it?" he said, with a sideways nod of his head.

"fetch? i'm not a dog."

he made the excited face he always had before he told a bad joke. for fucks sake. "aw, well, i figured pet play would be on your list —"

"shut up, shut up, shut up!" with each 'shut up' you punched his chest and he crossed his arms over it to protect himself.

"hitting, is that your kink too?" well, you weren’t exactly opposed.

you groaned and swung your leg over him, "i'm gonna go get my fucking list."

getting up and 'fetching' your bag, you searched through it and found your little, blue notepad. as soon as you'd returned to the four poster bed, ron reached out to grab it, and you quickly pulled back.

"no, i have more than just 'kinks' in there. and i don't wanna tell you everything."

"why not?" he was genuinely confused. that was the problem with these weasley boys: no boundaries.

"if i tell you everything about me then what secrets will i have left?"

"secrets are overrated." he stared blankly at you, shrugging, but still wrapped his arms around your waist comfortably as you swung your leg back over to sit on his thighs. as you flipped through the pages of the notepad, you found what you had been searching for. 27 pages in, hidden between random pencil scrawls, was your list. you'd learned about sex from books, and your friends' experiences, and being a sixteen year old at what is technically a boarding school. and though that wasn't the highest form of education, you knew enough to keep safe, and to feel good, and ron knew enough, too. "so, start reading!"

looking over the first line, your cheeks burned and you shook your head. "i can't say that!"

"want me to turn around?"

"no, i — no. i'm just gonna..." you slid all the way up his lap, ron attempting to ignore that you were right over his crotch in a pair of pretty blue jeans, and hid your face in the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, embarrassed by your childish ways.

"c—" ron's voice broke, and you fought a smile, "comfy?"

"yeah. i'm ready now." you swallowed, breaths shallow and voice shaky as you brought your list up to your eyes. "um, well, i've heard about, uh —" he rubbed a hand up and down your back. you couldn't see him, but he was grinning and biting his tongue in anticipation. "pet play."

"you bloody liar, tell me the real list! don't be a pussy."

"fine, fine. no pet play. but i, uh, think choking sounds hot." your voice was slightly less shaky as you kept your flaming cheeks out of view. ron was bright red, too.

"uhuh. what next?" his voice was quiet and trembling now, grip on your waist tighter. the atmosphere of his dorm room had completely shifted.

"and, um, teasing. 's hot." your eyes flitted to the next word, trying to keep your composure as ron's grip on your waist tightened even more, keeping you still on top of him. "i like being praised, but being degraded is — it sounds... good."

ron had to fight the urge to groan, not out of frustration, but pure lust. you were by no means innocent, in fact, you tended to make a sex joke every day, or comment 'that's what she said' at every euphemism, but he never expected to hear those words actually slip from your lips. he couldn't speak, his voice got stuck in his throat, and he knew if he even tried his voice would break and go all high-pitched.

"then, hair pulling. hard sex, soft sex." both of your hearts were beating so fast, and you squeezed your legs against him. it was a nervous action, but you didn't expect him to let out a high gasp, and you certainly didn't expect him to grow firmer beneath you. "spanking, breeding, maybe, we'll see." he closed his eyes and let out a low exhale that he’d been holding in.

you pressed your hips harder down onto him, and his nails dug into your thighs. you'd been in this position before, while kissing, but this felt like pure filth, you telling him what you wanted him to do to you, and him just listening, and him getting hard. i mean, he'd been hard beneath you before, on top of you even, but it never led to anything more, and you didn't think you'd ever felt him this hard.

"i — i think i like biting. anywhere, really. not too hard. you have to be gentle with me." you had pulled back a little now, eyes still glued to your notepad, head turned a little so your lips were almost touching his ear. tentatively, you looked away. the tips of his ears were burning hot, and red. you took the lobe between your teeth, biting softly, tongue darting out just a little. his hips bucked up into yours, and you both moaned quietly. "and licking." you slid your tongue over his warm skin, just below his ear, then curved your spine to lick further over the expanse of his neck, causing him to let out another breathy moan.

"fuck..."

"and, spit. i think it's hot. i've thought about it, about you, before. i dunno." you kept your tone unsure, in hesitation. you had more on your list, just things you found hot, situations you found hot, but you closed it and pulled back, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and fiddling with the notepad between your fingers. that was enough, for now. ron was breathing heavily. you were breathing heavily. everything felt hot, and heavy, and it wasn't the norm, not with ron, but you liked it.

"th— that was... good. a good list." he choked, hands still on your thighs.

"yeah."

a tense silence settled between you, until he wrapped one arm around your waist, hand slipping up your back, the other in your hair, and brought you into a feverish kiss. you grinded down on him, moaning into his mouth feeling the reminder of how hard he was, chucking the list to the side and sliding your hands up his shirt as your tongues explored each other's mouths. it felt good. really good. better than you could have expected.

ron gently nibbled at your bottom lip, before pulling away and moving his focus to your neck. you tilted your head to the side, hurriedly moving your hair to the side to give him better access. he licked teasingly up your neck, and you dug crescent moons into his abdominal as he began sucking and biting at the skin beneath your ear, and your pulse point, and soon your collarbone, and before you knew it your sweater was pulled off and he sucked and licked against the skin right above your breasts. this was the first time he'd seen you without a top on, just in a plain, black bra, and he was damn well going to savour it.

you tried to hold back moans, but it seemed impossible when he was burning beneath you, so you did what was natural. you grinded against him and whined as he trailed wet kisses all over your chest, and after a while of you arching your chest into his mouth, you realised what he was doing.

your voice came out breathless, almost breaking. "you're teasing me."

he stopped his trail of kisses to move his face back to yours. "what, you thought i wasn't listening?"

"well, stop." you whined, scratching your nails over his abdomen once more, earning a shallow moan from him.

"i thought you liked it." he tilted his head, almost smirking.

you swiped your tongue over your bottom lip, chest heaving, as you took your hands from under his shirt. "just touch me. please." ron took a moment to take his own shirt off, and you admired the freckles dotted over his pale yet flushed chest and shoulders until he wrapped his arms around you, unhooking your bra clumsily, fingers shaking with lust. you gripped his shoulders, fingers gliding over each mole as your eyes darted over his features.

"so fucking pretty." he licked and kissed underneath your right breast, cupping the other one in his large hand, and your mouth dropped open, brows furrowed in pleasure as he took a nipple into his mouth, looking up at you as you grinded down onto him.

"ron, fuck, i'm too sensitive."

you watched him grin as he slowed his movements and instead licked softly once over your nipple as you threw your head back. you were the hottest thing he'd ever seen. well, he'd only ever seen his brother's porn magazines so there wasn't much competition. but he could say without a doubt that you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, your back arched, your head thrown back, your chest flushed. so pretty. but if he didn't speed things up he was sure he would cum in his jeans. you caught his lips in yours once more, struggling with the buckle on his jeans. you knew you wouldn't have sex, not today. but other things were always possible. that thought made your head spin with anxiety and need.

after a little while, you resorted to quickly tugging off your own jeans, ron doing the same, and soon you were back in the same position, except you could really feel him against you. you both looked down at the sight of you in your panties on top of him in his blue boxers, and both laughed breathlessly, kissing once more before you slid off and between his legs. if you'd stayed any longer, he might've felt how fucking wet you were.

"y/n..."

"it's okay, i want to do this. do you? we don't have to." he nodded his head, bottom lip between his teeth. "okay. just tell me what to do, okay? tell me what you like, ronnie."

‘ronnie’ didn't think he'd last that long when your hands were gripping at his thighs and you were on your knees, in only your underwear, between his legs. "okay. yeah."

you cautiously slipped down his underwear, pausing for a second as his flushed and red cock smacked up against his stomach. fuck, he was big, and already dripping precum. you were almost mesmerised with him before you remembered that he might be self conscious, so you proceeded to slip his underwear all the way off, throwing it off the side of the bed and coming closer to him, laying on your stomach and trailing a finger soothingly up and down his thigh. "so pretty." you teased, mimicking him from before, but as you looked up at his desperate face, mouth open, cheeks red, brows raised slightly, you decided that maybe teasing wasn't the best decision in that moment.

so, you wrapped a hand around his cock, feeling it twitch in your hand as ron moaned, head thrown back just like you had before. "that feels good."

"i haven't even done anything yet." you chuckled, looking up at him expectantly until his blue eyes met your own. "tell me what to do."

he gulped. "right, so you just wanna... make your hand wet. spit in your hand. you should like that." he couldn't believe he was saying this to you, or even joking in this moment, because right there, he was totally and utterly at your mercy.

you removed your hand from him, finding your mouth already salivating, and instead of licking your hand, you gathered your spit and let it drop from your tongue down onto it. he groaned as you looked up at him. fuck, he definitely wouldn't last long if you did more shit like that. taking your slick hand, you guided it up and down his cock, hesitantly dragging it over the tip, making him buck up into your hand and drip out even more precum. "fuck, uh... be careful with the tip. it's sensitive."

"sorry." he went to tell you not to apologise, but then you avoided going directly over the tip, collecting more of the precum, and the amount of spit and slick on your hand was creating lewd, wet sounds. if he tried to speak now, he’d probably just whine. testing the (now, scalding hot) waters, you dragged your tongue up his shaft, and he moaned even louder. he seemed to like that, so you did it again, and again, then put the tip in your mouth, pushing your lips down onto it until you got scared that your teeth would graze him.

"fuck, just like that, y/n, you’re so good."

seems he took more notes than you gave him credit for. or maybe this was natural? shit, is this how he spoke normally? he would drive you insane.

and how the fuck did people not use their teeth? at this point, you wanted to hear more of those beautiful sounds coming from your boyfriend's mouth, but also wanted to ask him. so you slowly took your mouth off, making him look down at you in concern.

"ron, how... i'm worried i'll use my teeth."

ron wasn't sure how to answer that, being just as inexperienced as you were, but he tried to use what he heard his friends talking about in the boys dorm.

"i think you just, try to wrap your lips down over your teeth. or you purse your lips. like an ice pop." you chuckled, and so did he. "i guess you have to make your tongue flat and then cover the top ones."

"okay, i'll try..." but before you went down again, he spoke once more.

"and, don't swallow the cum. doesn't taste great."

you nodded, and he watched you as you tried the technique, getting down even further, causing him to grip at your hair. he didn't push you down, just needed something to hold onto other than the bedsheets, that was all. and after all, you did quite like hair pulling. you moved his thick cock in and out of your mouth, wrapping your hands around the parts where your mouth couldn't reach, and looked up as ron's grip tightened on you. you didn't bother touching his balls — that was an experiment for another day.

"fuck, i'm gonna cum," you moved your mouth to just the tip, as more groans left his lips. "y/n, shit, don't swallow, just take your — fuck, take your mouth off."

you were stubborn. so stubborn in fact, that you kept suckling at the tip of his cock as he jerked up into your mouth, body freezing, as you swallowed load after load. you just wanted to please him. and thank merlin you'd done all those water (and to be honest, butterbeer) chugging competitions with lee, or you'd have been absolutely done for. he was right, it didn't taste good, at all. it was salty, and bitter, and as you took your mouth off him and let his slowly softening dick slap against his thigh, you almost winced at the flavour.

ron's chest was pink and flushed with perspiration, head thrown back against the headboard and eyes firmly closed, recovering. "fuck. told you."

"'s not the worst thing in the world. i'd do it again."

"don't say that or i'll get hard again." he reached for his boxers off the side of the bed, awkwardly slipping them on in a sitting position.

you chuckled, reaching to his bedside table to gulp down some water, head fuzzy and chest warm with the accomplishment of pleasing your boyfriend. he wiped a hand over his forehead, taking the glass out of your hand to take a big sip himself before putting it down.

"well, that was exhausting." he groaned.

"tell me about it. my bloody jaw hurts." you grinned, and he smiled back and rushed to peck you on the lips firmly, sending you to fall back against the covers as he hovered on top of you. "what're you doing?"

"don't think i'm done with you just yet." he grinned, but faltered. "unless you don't want to. i don't want to force you or anything, just tell me if —" you shut the clumsy boy up with another kiss, clasping your hands behind his neck and grabbing at his soft hair, wrapping your legs around his waist. you clenched around nothing as you felt his soft cock beneath his boxers against your soaked panties.

"it'd be my pleasure." you muttered against his lips. and he grinded into you once more before moving you so your head was against the headboard, and him between your legs.

"oh, how the turn tables, hmm?"

"shut it, loverboy." you shook your head, biting your lip and looking down at him as he trailed his nails down your inner thighs, making you arch your back a little. "and what did i say about teasing?"

"that it's hot." his crooked smile made your stomach clench.

"that you should stop." your complaints were ignored as the humour in the room dropped, and he looked at the wet patch seeping through your underwear. he seemed transfixed, swiping the pad of his thumb over it, before hooking his fingers into the waistband of your panties and pulling them off, tossing them to the side.

taking his middle finger, he swiped it through your soaked folds, making you whine. "you're dripping." his voice got much deeper, and his throat felt dry, but if he opened his mouth he was sure he'd drool. "did it turn you on, sucking..." he cleared his throat. "sucking my dick?"

you didn't reply, just bucked your hips up into his touch as he paused.

he pressed on. "so?"

"yes, it did." you were so desperate that you actually pouted your lips. seeing ron talk so dirty, despite his hesitance, was the second reason you were dripping. you didn't know he'd be like that. though you should've expected it.

but his shyness hadn't left just yet. "can you... can you tell me what to do?"

you tried to catch your breath, his finger was still over your clit, not firmly pressing, just there. you got distracted for a second, looking down and subtly pushing your hips up, before you bit your lip, swallowed, and met his eyes again. he seemed to be amused by that. "uh, so... you just get your fingers nice and wet, first."

it even surprised ron when he removed his finger from you, and held up his hand to your mouth. your breath hitched. "you're probably wet enough anyway, but go on, then. 's what you like, right?"

you nodded nervously, taking his wrist and putting three of his fingers into your mouth. you sucked them in, making sure to get enough drool all over 'em, before messily removing them and letting spit string down to your tits. ron watched it all, dick growing hard again. he was sure now. you would be the hottest thing he'd ever see in his entire life. you let go of his wrist as he let the rest of the spit drip onto your pussy, the air leaving you cold as he spread it around with his fingers, up your folds, circling your hole. the avoidance of your clit made you throw your head back, as he teased you. he knew exactly where the clit was, frankly, it was pretty clear to see, all red and swollen and big. he was doing this on purpose.

"please, ronnie." you whined.

"okay, okay. what next?"

"you need to touch my... my clit. and maybe put a finger in, but, be gentle, please?"

"you've never fingered yourself before?" his voice broke.

"i tried, just one, but, it's not really comfy when i do it. too tight. fingers aren't long enough, maybe. i don't know." you swallowed nervously. speaking about your personal sexual experiences was embarrassing. ron found it hot.

he took your advice, slick fingers brushing over your clit, then paying more attention to it, playing with it, even pinching it, turning you into a whimpering mess. figuring you were prepared enough, ron gently dragged his middle finger over to your hole. "gonna put a finger in, now. ready?"

"yeah, please."

you gasped and gripped his arm. he eased in slowly, and fuck, you were tight. you'd broken you hymen before, probably by either walking, riding your bike, or simply experimenting on yourself, so there was no resistance as he reached his finger all the way in, just a slight discomfort on your part. he almost began to start moving, but you tightened your grip. "just a second, ron. your finger's bigger than i'm used to." that sentence made him rut into the bed, as he followed your instruction and stayed still. your body relaxed, and he even felt you begin to unclench around him, your ridges less restricting. "it's okay now, you can — fuck."

he'd started sliding his finger in and out, slowly, as soon as you gave the 'okay', and this was definitely better than you could have ever done to yourself. you weren't sure you could come just from this, but you didn't care, it felt good. you'd heard one way to make it better, though.

"try curling up your finger — oh." if this boy could only give you a chance to breathe. that change in movement was hitting a spongey spot inside you that made you clench your thighs together, which he fixed by using his elbow to spread one, and his free hand to hold down the other. you brought one foot up to his back, needing some kind of stability. "you okay?" he asked, which was a loaded question considering that his thumb accidentally brushing over your clit made your entire body jerk, and you weren't just okay, you were bloody brilliant, the blinding pleasure bordering on pain.

"fuck, touch my clit, please." you moaned, head thrown back as he did as you said, making your entire body spasm. you were so close, so fucking close, and you practically rode his fingers as you thrashed up and down, tits bouncing. you were just about to tell him you were gonna come (though with you non-stop clenching around his one finger, it was pretty obvious) when he decided to try something, removing his thumb from your clit and instead sucking onto it.

he'd heard about eating girls out, and it was something he'd always wanted to do to you, to drive you crazy, and if he couldn't do it now he was going to at least include his mouth into some of the action. he wanted to taste you.

with this surprise, you came hard, the heel of your foot pressing into his back, his hand working hard to hold down your other thigh, stomach clenching and eyes rolling back. you were moaning so much and so loudly that you were glad almost everyone was out at hogsmeade. as you came down from your high, ron removed his lips from your clit and slowly removed his finger, your aftershocks trying to suck him back in. your back, forehead and chest were sweating, your entire mouth dry as your eyes stayed closed. ron rubbed his hands soothingly up your thighs as your body spasmed again, and brought himself up to kiss your forehead, a grin that you couldn't see playing at his lips. he wrapped his arms around you as you sighed and leaned into him.

"fuck." you sighed, opening your heavy eyes and glancing at ron who licked the rest of your cum off his fingers, looking up at the ceiling. you were still clenching around nothing. that was the hardest you'd ever came, even better than the showerhead — oh, ron would have an absolute riot if he knew you used the showerhead. "thank you."

he gave you that dumb fucking grin, the one he always had before making a bad joke. "orange you glad you read out that list?"

"shut up and kiss me. idiot."

[kiranogareru]

STAR GAZING

WARNING: Language, but this is all fluffyyyy

A/N: I present to you, my first requested work. Dedicated to @mysticmaee I apologize for taking so long, I hope this meets your expectations. Enjoy and again I'm so so sorry it took me so long

Y/n and Bakugou -as much as he refuses to admit it- have been pretty good friends for a while and they recently started dating

Katsuki is well aware of the fact that he isn't all that good at this whole relationship thing!

He knows how a relationship is supposed to be like, he's read all those things about them in novels before and even though they appeared unrealistically perfect to him, Bakugou couldn't help but compare himself and feel inferior to those fictional men and their romancing abilities!

He has observed how well Y/N seems to be fitting the role of a girlfriend and has taken mental notes of the way she always shows him how she feels, whether that's through words or affectionate little gestures, such as simply holding his hand!

Bakugou has never really been the type for physical contact, one could even say he is quite touch starved in all honesty, which makes him a little bit timid to show her his appreciation that way, since it makes him feel uncomfortable and it gives him this weird fluttery feeling inside

The blonde thinks back to the short time they have shared as a couple and how sweet Y/n has been to him, even before, when they were just friends and he insisted on pushing her away!

Bakugou is suddenly left dumbstruck, when he comes to realize that he never even asked her out properly! She just kind of blurted out her feelings and he simply claimed her as his..and by his, he means his one weakness, but of course it goes without saying that he would never reveal that!

He then decides that he wants to try harder. He knows he can do better 'I can be the best boyfriend she's ever had, I'll be her number one!' he tells himself

'She put so much effort into approaching me and I know I made it even more difficult -I can't help it, that's just how I am- but the least I can do is put in just as much effort, it's only fair!'

He doesn't want to be a shitty boyfriend, because for 1 he knows that's not what she deserves and 2 he's the best, he's not one of those stupid extras, who would let her slip right through their fingers!

'It's time I finally lowered my defenses' he thinks, although he's still hesitant of showing his softer side and unsure of what that can possibly lead to

Katsuki walks in silence as he rakes his brain for a way to make it up to Y/n for the way he's been so far.

It's not like he's treating her bad or anything, as a matter of fact he is at his calmest when he's around her and all he does is admire the way her beautiful e/c eyes sparkle when she's focused on something she enjoys, or how her face lights up when she's happy, or he revels in the taste of her lips against his own whenever they share an unexpected kiss!

This warm feeling spreads throughout his chest and blood rushes to his cheeks, tinting them with a shade of pink, at the thought of the memories!

That's when it hits him and the perfect idea pops up in his head. If he's learnt anything from romance novels, it's the fact that every relationship starts with a date!

And that's something they haven't done yet, which gives Katsuki the opportunity to change that!

"Katsu?" Y/n stops in her tracks, making him break out of his trance and do the same

"You zoned out, is everything ok?" She asks with a soft smile, placing a hand on his cheek

"Tch, everything's fine dumbass, I'm just thinking" Bakugou returns the smile, resting his hand at the back of her neck, gently pulling her head closer and leaning in to leave a chaste kiss on her forhead

Y/n is left speechless and her cheeks burn up at the sudden action, Bakugou doesn't usually behave this way, especially not in public!

'I don't know what he's been thinking about, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with this adorable change' She ponders

Y/n is quick to wrap her arms around him and bury her face in his chest, inhaling the scent of burnt caramel and cologne -something that she's grown so accustomed to, that it now brings her comfort

Bakugou's eyes widen in surprise and he lets out a breath as he relaxes, bringing one hand to her head as his other one makes it's way to her back to hold her close

They stand there in each other's embrace for a bit, before they decide to continue their walk to the dorms, hand in hand

•••

Once they reach the dorms, they catch the attention of a few of their classmates and friends. It's only logical though, since a smiling Bakugou Katsuki is not a sight one could easily miss!

The rest of the day goes by pretty quick as usual, since everyone is studying either alone or in groups, but once that's out of the way most of the students normally spend their free time by engaging in their hobbies of choice

While Y/n is hanging out with Jirou in the purple haired girl's room, singing and having a good time, Bakugou takes that chance to go to the kitchen and set his plan in motion

He has all the time he needs to prepare a few things for later

While the ruby eyed boy is in the middle of cooking, Sero walks into the kitchen, Kaminari following close behind him

"Kacchan?!" Kaminari exclaims in surprise

"Hm?" Katsuki turns around and realizes he has an audience

"How come you're cooking today?" Sero questions in confusion

It's not uncommon for the explosive boy to cook for his classmates, but he had done so just a few days ago already, that's what didn't sit right with Sero

"All of you extras cook like shit, tonight we're having some actual food!" Bakugou's voice remains low in volume, but his usual aggression is evident in his tone

"It smells amazing, what is it?" Sero technically drooling as he walks over to check

"I bet it's something spicy!" Kaminari declares, knowing his friend's taste

"Damn right Dunce Face! Let's hope you idiots can handle it this time! Tch" Bakugou tries to mask the smile forming on his face with his signature, cocky, smirk

"Kaminari.." Sero gives the electric blonde a look

"I know right!" Kaminari laughs, returning the look

"What are you idiots on about?" Bakugou raises an eyebrow

•••

As soon as the table is set and dinner is served, the students pick up on something unusual

"Hm? Where did Bakubro go?" Kirishima points out, while looking around the room

Kaminari and Sero stand back to back with a hand on their chin and wearing a knowing expression of confidence on their faces! The sparkles surrounding them are technically visible at this point

"What do you know? Spill the tea!" Mina interrogates with a pointed look

"Has anyone seen Y/n? I thought I saw her come downstairs earlier.." Jirou asks, seemingly popping up out of nowhere

"They are probably fu-" Sero wraps Mineta up using his tape with an unbothered face

"Shut up you nasty grape!" He scolds "They are on a date! We are sure of it!" He continues pridefully

"Who knew Bakugou could be so good with the ladies, right!" Kaminari comments, almost in disbelief

Meanwhile Y/n is comfortably sitting on a blanket behind the dorms with Bakugou. The night air feels cool on her skin, but not cold enough to give her goosebumps. It is rather refreshing if anything

They place their now empty dishes on the tray that's sitting in front of them and Bakugou pushes it aside

"That was delicious!" A look of content spreading on her features

"Hm, of course it was!" He cocky voice sounds. A winning smile playing on his lips

"Katsuki, this is so sweet..thank you" Y/n softly speaks, tilting Bakugou's head slightly with a hand on his cheek and leaving a feather-like kiss on the other

"You don't need to thank me dumbass..you deserve it!" His tone calm and loving

Bakugou lifts his hand and places it over her smaller one that is resting on his face

They lie down on the blanket, eyes staring at the wide night sky, littered with sparkling gems

"That one reminds me of you!" The excitement clear in her voice as she points at the sky

"How can a star remind you of me dumbass?" His laughs in amusement

"The way it shines looks like an explosion, it's powerful and beautiful!" Her explanation flusters the blonde momentarily, but he gathers himself and starts looking for the perfect star

"That one right there is you then!" He gestures towards it

"Is it now? How can a star remind you of me eh?" She teases

"It stands out, it's so bright and has such a stong presence!"

"Katsu..you idiot" She murmurs feeling bashful

"Huh who are you calling an idiot, idiot?"

Y/n intertwines her hand with his and Bakugou tenses up!

He still isn't used to the gentle gesture, since he has always perceived his hands as weapons, however as he eases into it he starts rubbing small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb

"This side of you is so soothing, so intoxicating~" She smiles before continuing

"I'm so lucky to be the one who gets to see you so peaceful..Dynamite" He is caught off guard by the mention of his hero name, which only she knows this far

The first reaction that comes to his mind is to kiss her and his body acts just as fast, pulling both her and himself to sit up and doing exactly that

His lips connect to hers in an uncharacteristically slow and passionate kiss! It is as if Bakugou is pouring everything that he can't put into words in this kiss!

He pulls away with his confidence restored

"Do you want to be mine?"

"I'm my own person idiot and we're already dating!" She laughs, knowing what he meant, but wanting to mess with him regardless

"I know that dumbass! You think I would date some sort of weakling?" He asks matter-of-factly

"I'm already yours and you're all mine!" She boasts

"Damn right!" Bakugou cups her face in one hand, tilting it upwards and leaning down slightly to capture her lips with his once more

[mainveyn]

《 nebulous love 》suna rintarou x reader

wc : 1.6k

genre : absolute angst 💔

a/n : theres a lil scenario where u have to hide in the locker ik its abit weird but just assume that the locker is big enough for u to hide in there lolol   

series : silent love ▪︎ unspoken love ▪︎ nebulous love ▪︎ ardent love

you wanted to walk up to him, hold his hand and congratulate him in person. you swear you really do. but you couldn't, not when a swamp of girls are surrounding him. he has a huge smile on him, unlike his usual deadpan expression. after all, this is a crucial match for his team and their victory is a big step for their upcoming spring high tournament. even he can break a smile that bright because of that. you told yourself it wasn't because of that girl who passed him a water bottle and snuggled at his arm like it's her spot to take. 

"wait," you mumbled out unconsciously, because you found yourself ridiculous at being upset. who am i to be upset by that, you thought as you fiddled at the hem of your jacket with your eyes casted at the floor beneath. you decided you probably won't get to talk to him now. not after seeing him playfully pinched her cheek with so much affection. you walked out of the gym without a second thought, ignoring the fact that you met his eyes briefly and he tried to wave at you. you turn away like you didn't see him and suna didn't like that.

strolling through the hallways, you wondered if it's even necessary for you to be there when he has her. she looks a little too young for his taste, probably still a middle schooler but it's really none of your concern. all you know is the moment she is here, the world you shared with suna has broken apart. you expected that and you swear you tried your best to move on. you didn't think it was his fault that you caught feelings for him from the start, which is why you can never push him away. staying by his side while the pain eats you away becomes a routine now.

a soft tune rings through your pocket, a special ringtone you set for him. you received a text from suna about him telling you to wait at his clubroom, much to your confusion. even so, your feets take you to where he wants you to be without hesitation. 

no one seems to be there as you step foot into the clubroom, noting how clean and tidy the place is right now. you assume everyone has left as you find yourself sitting on the bench in the clubroom, texting him back that you're already here. your reflection on the little mirror at the corner almost made you laugh at your pathetic self. just how easy it is for you to crawl back to him, your heart winces at your own bitter remarks and feel your breath stuck at your throat.

all thoughts are wiped out as you heard the door open, his eyes slightly brightened up at the sight of you. you mentally scold yourself for reading too much into it, but what he did next only throws you into another labyrinth of confusion. "so, what do you want me to come here for?" you enquired but he wordlessly linked his arms around you in a tight embrace. you feel his hot breath inches away from your cheeks before he snuggles into your hair to bask in your scents.

he pulled away a few seconds later as he cocked his eyebrows at you. "you didn't like the crowd so i thought it's better to talk here," his warm smile made all your words tied in your throat as you found yourself shaking under the pressure of your heartache. he only thinks of you as a friend, nothing more than what you felt for him. and yet his affections made you fall deeper into despair.

feets glued on the same spot, you couldn’t move a muscle and watch his smile slowly turn into a playful smirk. he mistaken your silence as being embarrassed and comments on how cute you are. he continued to tell you how happy he is for today’s matches, describing his blocks today are a total shutdown against their opponent with a slightly excited tone. his unusual enthusiasm instantly brought a smile upon you, genuinely felt happy for him as you resonated with him as a volleyball player as well.

but the rest of the conversation are drowned out of your mind as every second passes only makes it harder for your heart to continue beating. you instinctively have your right hand clutch onto your other arm out of anxiousness and he immediately spotted it. after all, he had spent so much time with you to know you like the palm of his hand. emerald eyes briefly scanned your feature until he completely stopped talking. he cupped his warm hands on your cheeks, inching closer to you as your back fully leaned against the lockers behind you now.

“you okay?” suna whispered in that tone again, a voice filled with so much love that you thought only you’re special enough to hear it. you shake your head with tears threatening to fall, attempting to shake his hands off of you too. as you tried to come up with an excuse for you to leave, he held your face on his palms again with a stern expression. 

“y/n, you know you can always talk to me.” no, you didn’t want to deal with him now. not when you are not given enough time to prepare yourself and put up another fake smile to reassure him. he already has someone he loves. this isn't right. you knew that so you need to calm yourself down before reassuring him ―mostly yourself that you’re fine and content at just being his friend.

but no gods are here to hear your prayers today, you’re not given any chance to relieve the pain growing in your chest. not even a second after he released his hold on you, suna pulled you back abruptly by the back of your neck and pressed his lips against yours. your eyes widened and balled your fist on his jersey at the sudden contact. a mixture of hurt and joy flowing through you, but you wished all of these were just a dream. 

his fingertips brushed past your face as he gently tilted your head to the other side to mold his lips with yours better. you should stop him but the way he touches and holds you is the only thing you want to savour right now. you don’t even want to think why is he doing this to you. everything feels perfect now, except for the growing ache in your heart because you knew this isn’t right. as selfish as it sounds, you want him to be yours and yours only. because he already owns your heart, without asking. it isn’t fair at all. 

he released his grip on you but still lingered on your shoulder, waiting for your reaction. you tried to avoid his eyes, hair covering the side of your face as you moved further away from him. you heard him calling for you but what’s more terrifying right now is the loud bickering of the miya twins and their rushed footsteps echoed through the hallways.

you quickly shoot him a panicked look, and he only returns the same expression. just as atsumu violently twisted the door open, suna hastily opened up his locker and ushered you to hide in there. neither of you are in the right mind nor given sufficient time to think it through, so you comply without questioning. you scrambled into that dark little space, putting yourself into another void of misery. 

“yer so annoyinー oi sunarin! why are yer still here?” atsumu rounded the corner, surprised that the brunette hadn't left the school like he usually would. suna shot him an annoyed look before telling the twins to leave him alone, pretending he was just chilling and scrolling through his phone all this while. osamu interjected, reminding him to get changed before kita found out and lectured him about it.

suna tried to act as normal as he could while keeping an eye on his locker, not wanting to drag this any longer. he didn’t show it but he want nothing more than to beat himself up now, grimaced at himself internally for making you suffer.

but you wouldn’t have known, not when you shrinked into the corner as you clung onto your knees like your life depended on it. tears pricking at the corner, you refused to let them fall as you hid your face on top of your knees. what am i even doing here? why do i even have to hide? those unanswered thoughts occupied your mind that you didn’t even notice the twins had left and suna had opened his lockers. the lights from outside slowly seeped through, exposing your vulnerable self right in front of him.

“y/n?” he finds his voice come out strained as he catches sight of your shoulder trembling. he tries to move closer to you but all it takes is a suppressed sob slipped out of you for him to back off.

not bothering to wipe off your uncontrollable tears, you attempt to stand up at your own effort. suna offers his hand only for you to reject it silently. his hand remained there, hoping that you'll take it like how you usually would as he watched you struggling to get on your feets.

“y/n,” he called out again, he will try as many times as it takes. as long as you’d just spare him a glance, he swore he won’t make you cry ever again. for the first time, he hates how he got too comfortable in his usual wordless interactions with you. because he has so much to tell you and you wouldn’t have known.

probably never as you began to run out of the clubroom, walking out of his life as well.

reblogs are very much appreciated <3

[damn-stark]

Survivor

Chapter 5 of Cherry

A/N: I really hope you guys like this and I promise there will be more Reiner and rc interactions ;)

Warning- Angst, SLOWBURN, Violence, LONG CHAPTER! Talks of death and blood.

Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader, Reiner Braun x reader

Episodes- 1x17

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

“Squad I’d like to present you to Cherry,” Levi introduces you to his own squad who quietly watch you with eyes filled with curiosity.

“It’s y/n,” you correct him through gritted teeth, as a happy smile spreads on your lips while you finally had the honor to meet the squad he had spoken about in his letters.

“It’s the same thing,” he remarks nonchalantly.

“Not really, because one is my actual name and the other—”

“Y/N? You’re alive!” You hear a voice exclaim before your eyes wander to the entrance of the room where you notice Eren walking in with his eyes wide and filled with a surprise and a bit of joy.

“Eren!” You exclaim happily, “you’re okay, right?”

Said boy walks over to you and nods to answer your concern filled question. “Yeah, I’m alright, are you? Are the rest of our friends?”

You hesitate at the sound of his question, feeling your smile falter at the memory of one friend who wasn’t so lucky to have made it. Eren doesn’t catch your fault though, his green eyes remain filled with concern whilst he waits for your answer that never came as Levi interrupted you. “Cherry, listen.”

You tear your eyes away from Eren and focus on Levi and nod, “right,” before you look back to the four members of his special operations squad. “I’m y/n.”

Levi eyes roll to you and then slide to his squad members, not giving them any kind of audible signal before they all begin to introduce themselves, starting with a tall blonde man that had his hair picked up and sported a goatee on his chin. “I’m Eld Gin.”

“I’m Gunther Schultz,” A dark haired man said right after, pulling your attention to him and letting you recognize that some of these members looked familiar, you probably had seen them before but you weren’t sure now. There were too many soldiers to keep track of, you only talked to the ones you saw the most.

“Hi, I’m Petra Rall,” the only woman in his squad spoke not so long after, offering you a small smile that you returned before your eyes landed on one last man with his light brown hair styled in a nice undercut haircut. One you couldn’t help but notice off the bat appeared a bit odd to you...appearance wise anyways—“Oruo Bozad.” He said nonchalantly with his arms crossed over his chest.

Slowly you tear your gaze away from him and give all the members one last look before you look at Levi beside you. “And of course,” he continued, “you know Eren.”

You nod and a grin slowly spreads on your lips as you solely look at Levi and grab his arm to ask one last thing excitedly. “So does this mean I can join, Levi squad?!”

“Yeah, can she?” Eren asks after you in a more hopeful tone. Perhaps because he was hopeful he’d have someone his age in the squad. But that wouldn't be the case.

Levi’s blue eyes shift to you and his eyes narrow before he shakes his head. “No. But you can earn your spot like they did and then we can talk.”

“Tsk.” You pull your hands away from his arm and sigh in disappointment.

“But,” he added as he unfolded his arms and shoved his hand in his pocket to pull out a folded parchment paper. “Here. It’s for you.” He says in a mischievous tone that you only caught as you took the paper and he began to walk out of the room. “I’ll give you a few minutes to talk to them before you have to rejoin the recruits.”

Before you could try to input something concerning the paper, or the fact that your friends were taking a tour of the grounds that you knew by heart, Levi leaves the room with all eyes on the paper he had given you. “Open it,” Eren points to the paper in your hand. You look down at it and think for a moment, before you pout at the realization of what he had given you so publicly.

“Why don’t you?” You sigh, as you hand him the paper and sit back in a chair to rest your chin on your hand as you prop your elbow on the table beside you.

Erens green eyes lifted from the paper in his hand to look at you with his eyebrows pinched together and his fingers under the fold. “Are you sure?”

“Knock yourself out,” you mutter bitterly, noticing the rest of the squad all had knowing smirks on their faces as Erens curiosity got the best of him. Like you, they knew that the paper didn’t contain anything worthwhile, Eren on the other hand still was getting to know who Levi truly was and expected to read something juicy. But as he unfolded on the paper, and his eyes scanned the inside, his eyes lost their spark, and his smile fell. He slowly lowered his hand and turned to look at you with his face twisted.

“It’s a chores list?”

“Yeah,” you groan as you drop your head to the table's surface. “I knew it. Ughh…”

“It says,” Eren interjects, “you can help the Levi Squad with their chores.”

“Stab my leg won’t you?” You grumble to the wooden table, hearing a few of the other members snicker, whilst Eren still had the need to remark to you.

“Why didn't you ever tell me?”

“What was she going to tell you, Eren?” You hear one of the guy members ask him in a playful tone, “that our captain was a clean freak? It would have ruined the illusion and his reputation.”

You pick up your head only far enough so you could peek one eye out, noticing that it had been Eld who had just commented that. “Plus, it’s always funny seeing the newcomers realize that Levi isn’t just Humanity’s greatest soldier.” You snicker, making everyone laugh and nod in agreement. “And you thought I was a clean freak before,” you smirk, “you hadn’t met him yet...you’re still getting to know him.” You fully lift your head to see him with both eyes, barely catching as Eren throws your chores list back to you with a look of disappointment expressed all over his face. “I hope he’s been treating you well.”

“Well he still has me sleeping down in the basement,”

Eren comments bitterly, “but I mean, I understand why he would. Besides that he isn’t bad.”

“Good,” you say before your attention gets suddenly interrupted by Oruo.

“Say kid, where is it the Captain got you from? Are you really his kid?”

“Uh,” you voice, catching his comrade Petra shaking her head at his comment while the others just sigh before you continue unsurely and confused. “He got me from his doorstep?” You blink a few times and notice he seemed to be deep in thought. “Levi is not my actual father...he—” you abruptly cut yourself off as your eyes refocus on the way his hair was styled in an undercut, the way he kept his face so nonchalant and had a similar cravat to Levi’s. You also couldn’t help but notice the way he stood and tried to keep his posture, his voice also began to echo in your mind and you couldn’t help but pick out the similarity there too. It was all something that made you slowly grin.

“...I see now,” you comment to him smugly, whilst your eyes scanned his outfit and lifted back on his face. “Your cravat is a shade off. And,” you pause to stand up and shift your posture and change your voice to mock Levi’s, “you should stand like this and lower your voice a bit more.”

Oruos eyes widened but he’s quick to catch himself, quick to turn down what you suggested to him as his comrades burst into laughter and Eren seemed a bit lost. “I don’t know what you’re talking about brat.”

You smirk and change back to your own posture and voice. “It’s okay, I find it funny.”

“Oruo,” Petra interjected, “don’t talk to the Captain's kid like that.”

“It’s okay,” you assure them, “I don’t mind, but really,” you then change your voice and your expression to once again mock Levi’s. “It’s like this.” You smile brightly and switch back to your own voice. “It was an honor meeting you all.” You begin to walk to the door and continue. “I guess I’ll see you all later, for now I have to go before he comes back and gets me in trouble.” Your eyes shift to Eren and you wave at him. “See ya later, Eren.”

As far as first days go, this first day as an official Scout was like the rest. There were introductions, touring, assignments, schedules on the classes every new recruit needed to attend to memorize Erwins formation for the expedition that everyone was going to join. Something that surprised you because from what you did pick up before you left, usually the new recruits wouldn’t attend the expedition, not until they had proper time to memorize the map. But this time it was different. But then again, perhaps it was just a new normal now.

And it’s not like you could just skip these classes, you were a recruit now. It was an obligation. Just like your chores were too. Nonetheless you preferred chores over the classes that you had to admit were dreadfully boring. No matter how much you claimed to like learning, these weren’t really the classes you wanted. Not only that, but learning that as recruits you were going to go on your first expedition in a month was really hard, for some more than the others. It was a good thing that reuniting with Eren lifted some of your friends' spirits after hearing such heavy news. Yours on the other hand lasted until the night.

As night rolled around, as you lay in your bunk and closed your eyes, sleep came but soon was interrupted by the same nightmare you’ve had the past month; the one where you’re underground again, basked in darkness and cornered by the dead bodies of Furlan and Isabel. Only this time, Marcos' body was there too. The darkness was invasive but you knew he was there now too; haunting your dreams and not letting you get any sleep out of fear of both the dark and their bloodied bodies.

You tried rolling to your other side, tried to find assurance in the orange-red flame from the candlelight that casted your body's shadow on the wall beside you, but it didn’t work. So instead of trying to sleep again, you quietly roll off of bed and grab a book from under your bed, quietly grab your candlelight and carefully tiptoe out of the girls bunk room to walk towards Levi’s room. You knew he hardly slept, so you knew going to him in the middle of the night was always welcomed. Not like he cared if you were there when he was sleeping too.

When you got to the outside of his door, you saw the soft candlelight peeking out from under the door and expected him to be awake. But as you knocked once and slowly opened the door after no answer, you were welcomed with the sight of him slouched over his desk fast asleep. You softly huffed out at the sight and quietly closed the door after you, walking in and placing your book on the bed to instead grab his pillow and blanket. “How many times,” you whisper to yourself as you make your way to where he is. “Have I told him to sleep on his bed?”

There was no point in trying to move him to his bed, you knew if you tried he’d wake up the moment you lifted him from the chair. So instead you did the thing you always did; you threw the blanket over his body, very gently picked up his head to move his things to the side and instead slide the pillow under his head, so he wouldn’t have to lay on the hard surface. “There you go,” you continue to whisper as you successfully step back without waking him up. “Goodnight, Levi.” You smile softly, turning back around to grab your book and lay on his bed to read instead. Finding comfort in hearing his soft snores fill the candlelit room; smiling to yourself as you read the book you were rereading and unknowingly passing out after some time. Much to Levi’s surprise as he woke up not so much longer after.

He groggily lifted his head off the pillow he was surprised to be laying on, and kept his eyes on you for a few minutes to try and realize that this wasn’t a dream. You were in fact back. When that realization hit him he didn’t hesitate to push himself off his chair, grabbing the blanket that slid off his body and the pillow on his desk. He quietly stepped to the side of the bed and threw the blanket over your curled up body, lifting your head to pull away the book that you were accidentally drooling on and placing the same pillow you left him, under your own head.

Before he sat back on his chair, he slowly leaned in to gently stroke your cheek with his knuckle as he still couldn’t believe the person he was seeing. He couldn’t help but sigh deeply as his mind tried to process the fact that you had aged up so much in the past three years he hadn’t seen you. He couldn’t help but notice that your face had changed, that your body had matured and was still doing so, that your eyes didn’t carry the same innocent glow they once did. He had wanted to keep you protected from all the ugliness the world had, but it was impossible, he knew that the moment he found you on his doorstep. Yet throughout the years he couldn’t help but be delusional to that certain fact.

He couldn’t be that way anymore, you both knew that. No matter how much he wanted to keep you secured under the security of his cape, and in the warmth of his arms. He had to let you spread your own wings now, experience for yourself all the dangers he dreaded you facing, everything life had to offer you. All he could do now was watch you grow, advise and protect you when he could without completely smothering you. He couldn’t help but think if this was the same good type of heartache his own mother suffered as she raised him...he just never expected to get so attached.

——

“Cherry seed.”

Your eyes fly to Jean after that nickname spills out of his mouth, and as you're sitting across from him you shoot him a feigned smile and snap back, “horse face.”

His dark eyebrows furrow and he scoffs, “don’t call me that.”

“Then don’t call me what you just did, two can play at that game and I'd hate to see you lose.” You remark while a smirk pulls on the corner of your lips.

Jean just shoots you a pointed glare before he takes a spoonful of his breakfast and changes the subject. “Where have you been? I didn’t see you all of yesterday, I almost forgot you existed.”

“I was busy,” you shrug as you prop your elbows on the table. “But you’ll see more of me from now on. I get no special treatment so I’ll be stuck as if I were actually new here.”

“Oh how poor of you.” Jean feigns pity before taking another spoonful of breakfast. “To be stuck with us fresh meat and not get an immediate promotion.”

“It truly does suck,” you answer sarcastically whilst you rest your chin on your hand and feign a pout. “To think I could’ve been your captain.”

“To think I lost such great honor.” He sighs deeply and then can’t help but mirror your faint smile before he focuses back on his breakfast, sliding his eyes to your empty space on the table. “You should eat,” he mutters with food in his mouth, “you’ve been skipping breakfast too much already.”

You sigh and roll out “I will,” slowly before you rest your head on your other hand.

“And don’t be giving it to Sasha,” he continues to scold you “and pretend you ate it either.”

“I will,” you repeat a bit more sharply; knowing that he wouldn't be the only one nagging you about missed meals anymore. You knew you had other sets of eyes watching you now too—“so,” you continue to change the subject. “How was your first night as a Scout, Hmm?”

“Right now it feels just like when I was a Cadet.” He shares, “it doesn’t feel any different and I don’t suspect it will until our first expedition.”

“I guess you’re right.”

Jeans eyes leave your slouched figure in front of him and catches the tall blonde walking your way. “Reiner is coming this way.” He tells you as he looks back at his plate.

You lift your head from your hand and straighten out your posture, trying to fight the temptation not to look at him over your shoulder and instead keeping your focus on Jean. “Quick, how do I look?”

“Like you’ve been lacking sleep for sixteen years.” He remarks, causing you to shoot him an icy glare before he continues to toruture you. “Now is your chance to tell him how you feel.”

You laugh nervously and shake your head. “Are you crazy? No.”

“You know he likes you,” Jean points out, “what’s the worst thing that can happen?”

“Uh, he can hear me.” You spat out. “And I embarrass myself.” You peek over your shoulder and feel your heart clench in your chest. “How about this,” you continue as you look back at Jean. “You tell Mikasa how you feel and I tell Reiner how I feel, yeah?”

Before Jean could answer, the man you had been talking about comes and sits beside you, sliding a plate of hot breakfast to you as he also puts down his own. “Thought you were running on an empty stomach.” He tells you, “you should eat. Wouldn’t want you passing out in the middle of training.”

You fully turn your head to the side and smile shyly, pulling your plate closer to you and sharing a quick lingering look with Reiner. “Thank you,” you mutter, tearing your gaze away as you caught Bertholdt sitting next to Reiner, noticing as you were looking back at your food that Jean was trying hard not to laugh at you. You ignore him however and hesitantly take a bite out of the breakfast Reiner brought you, swallowing before briefly glancing at Reiner and Bertholdt to address your concerned question to them. “How are you guys doing?”

“Well,” Reiner sighs, “the past couple days have really been something, but we’ll pull through. We always have.”

“Yeah,” Bertholdt agrees as his eyes leave Reiner and turn to you. “Reiner is right. You don’t have to worry about us, y/n. How are you?”

You shrug. “I’ll be alright.” You look at your food and take in another small spoonful, letting Jean's comment about Reiner echo in your mind, but nothing else beside that before your train of thought was interrupted as Connie, Sasha, Ymir, Krista, Mikasa, Armin and Eren sat at the same table. They all had their breakfasts and a more lighthearted look on their faces than the ones they carried yesterday. Sasha especially, as she seemed to be angsty to talk to you as she sat at your side and didn’t hesitate to address you.

“So y/n, is y/n your real name? Or is it Cherry?”

You lift your eyes from your plate and slowly slide them to Sasha, noticing that all of your friends' eyes were intently on you. “It’s y/n. Cherry is just something that Levi and some of the Scouts call me.”

“Why?” Krista probes.

“Well Levi does because,” your mind wanders to the story he had told you about the nickname, and you decide it’s too long to tell them at the moment. “Well it’s a long story, but Cherry is something he called me, and the scouts, well, when I came here, I introduced myself with my nickname, so it stuck.”

“Oh well you’re lucky,” Sasha continues with a goofy smile. “You’re nicknamed after a fruit!” Her brown eyes glow with excitement as she grabs your arm a little too tightly. “Can I call you Cherry from now on?”

“Uh, sure.” You shrug nonchalantly, looking at Krista as she also continued speaking.

“That’s such a sweet name, can I call you that too?”

“Go ahead.” You answer, knowing that you couldn’t be rude and say no.

“Hey,” Eren chimed in, “Hange said that the reason Levi calls you that is because you were...”

“It doesn’t matter,” you quickly cut off Eren, shooting him a warning glare before you avoid all the curious stares and begin eating again.

“Tell us what you heard, Eren.” Ymir commented smugly, shooting you a taunting look that you felt burning into your skull. “You can’t leave us hanging now.”

Again you tear your gaze away from your food and shoot Eren a cold warning look that he took as a sign to just be quiet and ignore Ymir instead. She kept pestering him, like Connie and Sasha did too, but he didn’t give in. The stare you shot him engraved into his head and scared him from saying the rest, whilst also reminding him too much of his captain's chilling look. That, or well the sight of Levi passing by you to place a cup of tea by your plate just made him avoid the subject completely. So instead he just let the conversation change before you all had to go to your class.

A class that was the same each day for a month straight; boring as you had to remember your maps and important positions for the expedition.

All until you only had the choice but try to recall it by pure memory as the day of the expedition finally rolled around.

“The 57th expedition outside the wall begins now!” Erwin's voice booms from the front of the formation, everyone not letting themselves fall behind, nor trying to focus on the Titans that already threatened your lives, instead letting the support squad do their work while you all rode ahead; luckily enough everyone making it out of the town alive and riding further out the wall.

Something that still felt so surreal to you. Even if where you were, was still considered being inside the walls. Nonetheless, it felt like a rush of both excitement and fear. Mainly fear. Because now you were on your own. Literally parting away from the formation on your own (not really), but as Erwin signalled for the long range scouting, your friends weren’t going to be by your side anymore, you were with your own squad, riding in the right flank with the search squad.

What damn luck. On my first expedition too.

The only reason you got put there is to be their messenger and shoot the needed flares. You weren’t to make contact with any Titans unless extremely necessary. Which was disappointing, yet relieving. And the more you thought of it, of what you were supposed to do, the memory of a lesson came to mind as you rode along your squad. “It will be mainly the search squads in the first column that will have contact with Titans. When they find a Titan, they will fire a red smoke flare. When a soldier sees a flare he relays the message in the same way. Using the flares to confirm the Titans location the commander will fire a green flare and indicate in which direction everyone will proceed. In this way everyone can avoid contact with Titans. However there will be instances due to the lay of the land or obstructions when a Titan will be found too late and is already inside the formation....”

“Y/N, shoot a right flare for that short ugly Titan approaching the right corner.” Your squad leader orders, causing you to look in the direction of the small Titan approaching, lifting your flare and shooting out a red flare whilst you cover your ear from the loud boom. Since it was small, the squad chose to leave it be and instead move away as the formation moved slightly.

“...Our past measures have worked only on the relatively easy-to-predict “ordinary” types. The variants, with their unpredictable behavior, are the only ones that demand engagement!”

“I hear you’ve already killed two Titans as a cadet?! That’s impressive!” Your squad leader exclaims her comment at you.

You nod stiffly and briefly glance at her before you refocus on the incoming land. “Yes, I have, but it wasn’t an easy task, nor was it alone!” Again you glance her way and notice this time her brown eyes were searching the area. Yet she still found a way to multitask.

“Two is still two.” She assures you, her eyes following yours as you watched a flock of birds rapidly fly from their tree and caw sharply as they flew past you. It wasn’t a sight to gawk over, or really think much of, but still your hands tightened around your horse's reins and your eyes narrowed ahead. You continued to ride in a careful silence, feeling the hairs on the back of your neck stand and chills run down your spine. Again you didn’t think much of that either.

But it was in that moment, the seconds after, where two Titans began to come after you, breaking apart from one another and aiming for both sides of your squad, their arms out ready to swing at you beneath them. However you all were smarter, you sped up and rode to the left side, pulling out your flare gun with your trembling hand and taking a red flare to shoot it into the sky—“good!” Your squad leader praised you, leading the way and pushing the horses to sprint away from the Titans faster.

Yet as you left those behind and moved with the formation, two more Titans came running, creating a dust cloud that covered the horde following after them.

“What the hell?” One of your squad members shouts as his eyes fixate on the horde all coming your way, picking up their pace as their eyes spotted their temptation, as if the sight of your approaching figures had set something off within them. “We can’t take them all! We’ll be caught up and only end up losing our own!”

Your eyes widen and your mind races with the thought that this is the most Titans you’ve seen clustered together. It almost looked like they were purposely baited together. It was off putting and made your heart race inside your chest...even more so as they began to break apart and target different spots of your squad, running faster as they did so. And regardless of their tactics you put a red flare in your gun and intended to shoot it as a couple of your comrades fought them to thin out their horde. But as your finger hovered over the trigger, you felt the ground tremble, and spotted more birds quickly fly away as if in a panic.

When you tried to figure out what felt wrong, suddenly another large horde came running your way, this time getting led by a taller Titan, a blonde one with features of a female, blue eyes and a glare that made goosebumps grow all over your body. Unlike the Titans it led, this one seemed to be on a mission, she ran like a human would and let the horde run past her as she stopped in her spot briefly. Her eyes appearing to watch over the chaos she delivered, and her expression painted as if she were thinking.

She let the horde infest and overwhelm your squad. While she left you all stunned and speechless, frozen as you had never seen an abnormal like her. Or they hadn’t. She reminded you of Eren's Titan. From what you could take note, she acted like him; in the manner they were both intelligent and in control—“This-this one is an abnormal,” your squad leader stammered as she tried to lead what was left of her squad from being caught by swinging hands. “Shoot out the black flare, y/n! We can’t let this one into the formation!”

You nod slowly, trying to guide your horse from the approaching threats, whilst you also struggled to pull out the black flare, feeling the canister almost slip from your fingers before you gripped onto it and then struggled to push it in the gun. From the corner of your eye seeing a red flare fly into the sky. Knowing that the signal was going to move the formation, even if you all had to lag behind to thin out the horde that was more trouble than any of you suspected. You still had to deal with the abnormal Female Titan that continued to prove your theory right.

Your squad leader began to go after her and the Female Titan reacted within seconds, snapping her eyes to your leader and surprising you even more as she reacted by bolting towards her. At the last second though, the Female Titan turned sharply on her heels and headed for the formation, only causing the reaction on your face to deepen as your eyes peeled back further, and your eyebrows pinched together. Regardless of your reaction albeit, this time you were aware, you broke from your stupor as your squad leader looked over her shoulder to shout out the same instruction as before.

This time you raised your hand and shot the black flare, hastily shoving the flare gun back in your pocket as you kept your attention on your squad leader approaching the Female Titan; hearing the cries in the chaos that was brewing from the scene you were leaving, hearing Titans jaws snapping, and bones cracking as you tried your best to follow the instructions given to you. It was a crude thing to do, evil; it made your stomach churn and your heart drop, but you had to keep riding along. They kept reminding that to you. They told you to run to inform the Commander of what rose in battle.

But as you begin to split away, your eyes slide to your squad leader shooting her grapples at the Female Titans body, and a sharp gasp leaves your lips the moment she flies in to swing at the Titans nape, and she swiftly swings her hand back to capture your leader in her grasp. She continues to peek over her shoulder, almost as if she was taunting those couple of soldiers after her before she gave an effortless squeeze that instantly killed your squad leader. Leaving behind only a gruesome mess that she dropped before she looked away and bolted away. Leaving you stunned and petrified on your horse.

At the back of your head you could feel yourself registering the fact that more comrades tried to chase after her, but you couldn’t act on any plan. Your mind came up blank as the brutal scene continued to play out ahead of you. All you could do was watch as the Female Titan evilly played with your comrades; swatting them away and stomping one into unrecognizable pieces and a thick pool of blood.

When you could snap from your speechless state was when a blood-curdling scream beside you rang in your ears, snapping your attention to the side to see a Titan bite down on a comrade and another swing at you, barely letting you swerve away.

“Shit,” you hiss sharply, accidentally stumbling back to where the chaos had brewed and being directly behind the Female Titan’s path. You tried to guide your horse back to your previous path, but as your Horse tries to ride back, from the thick of some trees a Titan jumped out ahead of you. Blossom jolted and skidded to a hard stop, crying out as she stood on her twos and fumbled back before she fell back down on all fours. You tried to calm her down as well yourself, “it’s okay, Blossom, it’s okay girl, I won’t let it grab you. I’m here.”

Albeit the moment you tried to run away, another Titan wasted no time to lunge at you from behind. It’s jaw missing your horse and you by an inch, and instead crashing into the Titan in front of you—Fuck yeah—a smirk tugs on your lips as you watch the smoke rise from their clashed bodies over your shoulder. But the moment was brief, because when you turn away and look ahead, the body of a dead comrade comes hurdling your way. You yanked at the reins to make your horse move away, but the body had been thrown too fast and crashed into your horse, making her cry out in pain as she fell forward and threw you off her back to harshly roll on the ground.

When you come to a hard stop, you feel your body crash onto something hot and wet, you pay no mind to it, just think it’s some Titan remains you saw a now dead Comrade kill. Instead your eyes flutter open, welcoming in the brightness, but instantly feeling them sting and noticing your vision was slightly blurry after the impact—concussion maybe? Nevertheless, regardless of your symptoms, you continue to try to push yourself to your hands and knees, feeling your palms slip on something thick and wet. You blink a few times to clear your vision, wasting no time on looking at the sky above and instead dropping your gaze to identify what was under your hands. Albeit instantly freezing as you recognize the thick crimson pool of blood and the gruesome body parts of a dead body under you.

It took a moment for your head to react as you kept your eyes glued to what was underneath, but once you blinked again, you quickly reeled back onto the clean grass. Feeling yourself pant and cry before your breakfast ran up your throat and escaped from your mouth. You gagged more violently, but your stomach just jerked as nothing came out but air, leaving you to finally wipe tears away and suck in air.

When you remembered to breathe out, whilst thoughts in your mind raced at a speed that you couldn’t keep up with. You could feel your body pushing itself to its feet and you could see your bloodied clothes as your eyes roamed down your body, but that was it. Every other feeling was absent, time only seemed to slow down around you. You knew you were looking for your horse, but she was nowhere to be seen. Instead you saw Titans in her place, coming at you from all sides, surrounding you and causing reality to slap you in the face and return everything back to its normal pace.

“Fuck,” you breathe out rapidly, “fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” You quickly move your hands to pull your blades out, eyeing all four Titans that were surrounding you, trying to see if there was a horse, or anyone who could help you at least create a gap to escape. But as you switched from side to side, all you saw was red painted on the ground. No living souls left to help. Of course you could try to create a gap of your own, there were enough bodies for you to hook your grapples onto, but it would all be useless without a horse to use to leave. You were completely and utterly rendered isolated, with only two blades to think of your salvation. To keep your hopes up.

But that hope was burned away the moment the Titans shadows casted over your body, and the sounds of their running mouths echoed in your ears and pulled you back to that disoriented state you fell under after you saw what you had crashed onto. You could see the Titans hands stretch out to try and grab you off the floor, you noticed their jaws open to show off their sets of teeth and slippery tongues in slow motion as time seemed to slow down around you; as the knowledge of your life coming to a brutal end invaded every single thought, numbing every single muscle in your body and drying your mouth and eyes so no tears rolled down your cheeks.

And perhaps the no tears part was half of your mind accepting death. It was on your first expedition, but who were you to fight fate? At least now you could reunite with Marco, Furlan and Isabel. That beautiful thought made you smile to yourself, made death something easier to accept. After all you had lived longer than you anticipated...Levi would miss you...hopefully. That was one thing that rattled your soul, but...hey, you would be with the family you had both lost, he could rejoice in that fact.

When he didn’t see me return and join what was left of the Scouts, would he wait for my hopeful return? Would he be angry when he figured out I was one of the fatalities? That I had broken my promise to stay alive? Your mind fell silent and you blinked away from the Titans to look at the blue sky and passing clouds. I’m sorry.

You draw in a deep breath and ignore the stench of death that filled the air and instead you focus on the slight smell of grass and sweet fresh air. Death wasn’t something you wanted, not like this...you always wanted it to be after a long fruitful life, outside between the trees and under the sky. But this, well this had to do, right? At least you weren’t in the dark, or underground. At least you were under the sky….Hmm, it is a beautiful day—you continue to close your eyes and let out a slow shaky breath. Expecting to picture Isabel's red hair and bright eyes, Furlans smug but yet sweet look, and or Marcos' goofy grin. But someone else completely comes to mind. Levi. A memory of him plays vividly in your head. A specific memory. Almost as if it was purposely chosen to show you.

“You have to fight, you can’t die,” you heard him whisper to your fragile and sick body, feeling as if his voice was hundreds of miles away, but still clear. “Not like this.You still have a lot to live for…” his eyes looked to the clear sky out the window and he sighed before returning his eyes back to you. “...and you still have a lot to discover,” he continued as he grabbed your hand from the bed. “I know that I may not be like Furlan or Isabel, but I promise I'll try, I won’t leave you. I’m still going to look after you, I’ll listen to your stories, I always do, I’ll read through all your findings, I’ll try to do as much as I can do with you. Just fight for me, y/n, please. I want you to live a long life, to experience everything life has to offer you with no regrets. Just survive. You can’t die. Don’t die. Fight and survive. Fight and survive....”

As Levi’s words echoed all over your head and the memory faded, something else sparked within you, electrifying your mind like if a bolt of lightning had suddenly struck your brain. It almost felt like an adrenaline rush had flooded your entire body, but it felt much, much stronger. You could feel much stronger and much more aware. Your eyes suddenly flew open and you drew in a sharp breath that filled your lungs with a relief that you felt after you resurfaced from the water. Every color that surrounded you was much more vivid, everything your eyes saw was much sharper; to the shortest distance and to the farthest. Something unfolded within you.

Suddenly every thought of death turned to the will to fight. Suddenly blood rushed through your numbed limbs, causing you to dig your heels into the dirt and fortify your grip around your handles. Time was slow, but it was different, you could feel your eyes snap to every location, spot every single movement; from the flapping leaves, to the flowing grass blades, the floating clouds and approaching Titan hands. Your mind instantly came up with an instant plan to escape your current dilemma. And before you knew it, you were shooting your grapple hooks and moving like lightning, faster than you ever have in your years of using ODM gear

One moment you were on the ground, ready to die, the next you were swinging under a Titans arm, swirling around the moment you unhooked your grapples to then shoot them again, and spin directly at the Titans nape. You jumped off their falling body to continue the same process with the others, feeling an instinct guide you, a sense knowing exactly what to do pump through your blood. It was like a rush. Something new and much more than an adrenaline rush. You felt yourself fly around like the wind.

It felt odd moving so fast, you could hardly understand it, hardly control your own speed, but you were grateful for it as it helped you take down the Titans that had once threatened your life. Now, you just watched their bodies slowly evaporate away and leave behind only thick white smoke before you let yourself fall back to the ground in the middle of where their bodies lay to slowly take in what you had done.

It was unbelievable, but there was no one else around for you to make excuses that it wasn’t you—yet you still couldn’t believe it. You looked down at your hands as if that was going to give you reassurance to what had happened, you looked at the sky and found reassurance in the fact that you were alive. You rejoiced in that fact for a brief moment before you were reminded why your life was put at such high risk, why your whole squad was now dead.

She.

It.

The Female Titan was at fault. It was all her fault. She played with your comrades as if they were toys, she brought hordes of Titans that killed your comrades, she was the reason you almost died. Now, you needed to kill her.

You stepped away from the Titans thick smoke their decaying bodies produced and searched for your horse, you called for her, but nothing, luckily another horse heard your call. That was better than nothing. “Good horse,” you praise it as you climb onto it and gently pat their side, giving the chaotic and bloodied scene one last look before you tell them to go.

Needless to say you were riding fast and in rage, focusing on that single mission, and luckily not running into more Titans on your way after the Female Titan. You may not know exactly where she was headed, but you had a rough idea; she seemed to be dead set on chasing the formation, she appeared to be after something, or someone, she—suddenly you lose your previous train of thought and a new thought sparks in your mind. One that causes you to slap your hand on your mouth and run your hand down your face.

Of course. Of fucking course. It can’t be just a coincidence that suddenly another intelligent Titan like Erens appeared out of thin air, after not showing any sign of herself before. And of course she appeared after Eren was announced to be a Titan shifter. She’s most likely after him!

You smile proudly to yourself and release a held in breath—sometimes I truly do surprise myself. Wow.

With a bit more resolve, you focus back on your path ahead, dropping your smile instantaneously and fueling with pulsing rage as you caught sight of the Female Titan.

She was on her knee, and her hand was covering her nape, while her eyes appeared to be focused on something. It was hard to notice what with your rage and your own goal in mind, but the moment you pushed yourself on top of your horse and shot your grapples at the tree beside her to hop off your horse, and press on the gas to fly directly at her, you heard and saw who it was that was keeping her busy. “Y/N?!” Jean shouted.

Your eyes briefly glanced at him beside another tree, before they shifted to Armin at her other side a few feet away, and lastly at Reiner below you riding on his horse. His own eyes watching you fly overhead.

Your lips tugged into a smirk and you continued on, releasing your hooks and letting yourself fall towards the ground as The Female Titan swung her hand at you, missing your body and trying to catch a glimpse of you as you flashed forward and hooked your grapples onto the ground a few feet away. You used the stable ground to flip in the sky and be facing her, using your fingers to press on your gas to hastily fly towards her in a blinding rage that made your figure appear like a gust of wind, or a flash of light as you faked going for her nape and instead stabbed your blades on her shoulder and circled your blades around them to weaken her limb. You flew past her and let your body fall forward before you hooked your grabbles on the tree beside Jean, letting your heels scrape the dirt before you pressed on the gas to throw yourself to the sky and flip around in the air and repeat the process with her other shoulder.

In the heat of the moment you didn’t even focus on the three boys that you were now with, your anger raged and blinded you, your newfound strength and speed kept you busy as you tried to control it properly. The Female Titan kept your mind locked on killing her, and you were close; after weakening both arms, watching as they flopped down, you aligned yourself at a perfect spot where you could swing your blades over her nape. Only as you spun forward, and lifted your blades to slash her nape; the moment you let out a frustrated scream, and felt your blades make contact with her flesh, instead of cutting her nape and killing her, your blades suddenly broke as the tips reached the middle of her nape.

Your eyebrows furrowed at the sight and your lips parted in a stunned surprise. “What the hell?!” You look back at her nape before blinking to look back at your broken blades, “what just happened?” Once again you look back at the Female Titan and instead of landing on the ground, your gaze narrows on her and you swiftly flip around to again fly towards her. “No matter,” you sneer whilst you hook your grapples onto the ground beside her. “I’ll finish you.” Instead of going to her nape, first you try to take out her eyes. It was a smart plan, but you didn’t catch the fact that she had healed an arm, you didn’t see her lifting her hand to attempt to grab you from the air. It could’ve been a foolish outcome, but you were saved.

Suddenly, the moment you unhook your grapples and try to press on the gas, you feel another body collide onto yours. They push you out of the way and have you stabbing your blades onto the ground so you could slide back and come to a stop without hitting the ground roughly. Again. And the moment you did stop, you snapped your eyes to where you had been shoved away from, and notice that it had been Reiner who had saved you from being crushed.

His eyes find yours for a brief second to share a short lingering before he tries to kill the Female Titan himself. Only just like she failed to do with you, she successfully grabbed Reiner in her grip. Causing you to drop your blades so you could jump to your feet and cry out his name as you saw her thumb crush his body in her fist. “No! Reiner!”

No. No.

You stepped forward mindlessly and clenched your fist around your handles. You waited, or really you were so stunned that you didn’t know how to truly react. All you felt was your heart sink to your stomach and your breath trap in your lungs.

The moment you could react and were going to try and get revenge for Reiner. Said man suddenly and impressively spun out of the Female Titans fist—“yes,” you grin slowly, watching in awe as he safely landed on the ground.

Nevertheless you couldn’t express such emotion because Jean suddenly grabbed your hand and began pulling you forward with the rest of the group. Leaving behind the Female Titan.

“I think we bought enough time!” Reiner exclaimed to all of you, causing you to look at the Female Titan over your shoulder after you let go of Jean's hand. “Hurry and let’s put some distance from this one! It won’t come after us unless it’s a cannibal!”

Just like Reiner had mentioned, the Female Titan went the other way, letting all of you run away. “Look at that!” You point out, causing Reiner to follow your line of vision and add more comments after you.

“The giant bimbo’s scared and going home.”

Only that didn't feel right. But you didn’t have a chance to point that out as Reiner pointed out the skills you demonstrated moments ago. “Hey, y/n what was that?! Where the hell have you been hiding that skill?! You were impressive!”

“That’s right, I noticed that too, you’ve never shown skill like that before.” Armin interjected from under Reiner's arm.

“You were moving like Mikasa and Captain Levi. What was that?” Jean chimed in too.

Your eyes turned to the boys and their curious stares, before you looked back at the horizon ahead and shrugged cluessely. “I...don’t know.”

.

.

.

.

Tagged- @expectoscamander , @greenygreenland @that-soft-lesbian-friend , @dai-tsukki-desu @usernamehere91 , @avocadopoosae

[joaquinwhorres]

Stitches & Blankets (Joaquin Torres x Reader)

SUMMARY ››››› You find Joaquin Torres after he tries to stop the bank robbery.

WORD COUNT ››››› 3,000-ish

WARNINGS ››››› language

A/N ››››› OK, why are there not more Torres fics? I'm legitimately confused about that. Also, I realized after writing half of this down, that a bank was robbed, so there were probably still police on the scene and the reader'd probably be speaking Swiss-German but uh...fan fiction.

There was a body in the street, which was not what you expected to see coming out to your car.

You'd heard the wailing sirens and shouting and the thunderous footsteps--they're what kept you pressed against the side of the building for the past ten minutes, avoiding the chaos as much as possible. It wasn't fear that kept you there though, it was experience. You'd become used to the quick riots and little skirmishes for resources over the past few months. You knew it was better to stay out of the way, wait out the storm, and then go about your life. They became nothing more than minor nuisances. Bits of unrest that were there and then gone in the next instance. They weren't supposed to leave a body behind.

"Meine Fresse," you murmured, racing forward to the person lying supine on the stones, arms out to their sides, the white of their sneakers reflecting the street lights. As you drew closer, you saw it was a man--about your age with blood around his eye and nose and lip. For a brief second, you wondered if he'd been trampled, but he definitely would have looked worse for wear based on how many people you'd heard.

"Bist du okay?" Your voice was loud as you checked over the rest of his body. He didn't seem to have any other injury, and there wasn't any blood under his head, so you decided it was safe enough to gently shake him.

He didn't rouse.

So, instead you knelt your ear down to his lips, laying your hand flat on his chest. You felt your hand rise before you heard the slow intake of breath, and you rocked back onto your knees. He was breathing. He was alive.

Still, something gnawed at the back of your mind, urging your fingers up under his jaw, gently pressing into his neck. It was only then that you felt a surge of relief. His pulse was there, and it was strong. He was really alive.

And then you remembered that you should probably call 112.

All things considered, it was a quick phone call--the operator seemed to know your exact location and vaguely what had happened as you explained where you were and how you found him. Instead, most of the conversation was spent listening to their instructions to roll him into a recovery position and check for any signs of life-threatening injuries. When they told you that you could hang up because they were close, you did so and found the man blinking at you.

"Hoi," you greeted soothingly. "Wie heisst du?"

He groaned, attempting to roll onto his back once more. You reached out a hand stopping him, and he looked up at you confused.

"Comment t'appelles tu?" You attempted, hoping he wasn't an Italian or Romansch speaker. You hardly knew enough of either language to tell him you couldn't speak it.

He winced and lifted his hand to his face. "Shit."

English. Good.

"What's your name?" you asked, and his eyes seemed to focus on you once more, this time a spark of recognition or maybe just awareness lighting up behind them.

"Joaquin," he informed, and you released an arm, allowing him to finally roll onto his back like he wanted. He had a strong American accent, even through the gravelly voice of barely regained consciousness. "Did they get away?"

"Ähm," you looked around at the empty street. "Yes?" you guessed.

He let out a heavy sigh. "I'm gonna have to call some people."

"I think you should wait for the ambulance."

"Yeah," he agreed, the word breathy and pained. "That's probably a good idea."

"What happened?" you asked, and he raised his eyebrows, looking back at you.

"Flag Smashers."

"I didn't think the Flag Smashers hurt people."

"I'm just lucky, I guess," he answered, and you smiled, letting out a small laugh. He offered a small smile as well.

You could hear the siren now, the faint sound winding its way through the curving streets of Zürich and towards the two of you. Your head turned towards the sound, as if you could trace it back to the ambulance, and gauging the distance. "They should be close," you said, returning your attention to Joaquin.

"What's your name?" he asked, and the question surprised you. Then again, if the two of you were stuck waiting for an ambulance at nine o'clock on a Sunday night, maybe a bit of small talk shouldn't have been so surprising.

"Y/N," you answered, and he repeated it.

"You're very pretty, Y/N."

The laugh escaped you on instinct, although to call it a laugh might not be the best descriptor. It was more of a surprised noise, partially exhale and a tinge of amusement added through the slight smile at the corner of your mouth.

"Thank you," you said. "You are very pretty too."

And he was, underneath the dark red and rapidly purpling injuries. He had a strong jaw and kind eyes, and even the hint of a smile he'd given earlier had made something in your chest constrict.

"I don't feel so pretty," he responded, and this time your laugh was more of a laugh, and he reached up to feel at his face. You took hold of his hand, bringing it back down and trapping it in yours.

"Pretty enough for me to hold your hand," you joked, hoping to distract him from continuing to poke and prod and break all of the rules and instructions the EMTs had given over the phone.

"Well, I got that goin' for me, I guess," he said, letting his hand relax into yours.

Headlights bathed you in a warm yellow light as flashing blue lights bounced off the surrounding buildings, illuminating the rest of the street.

There were some shouts as the doors of the ambulance opened and people poured out, running towards you and Torres. The paramedic crowded around quickly, a blonde bearded man asking  quick questions in German.

"Er spricht Englisch," you explained, and he nodded, switching languages.

It became apparent as police officers pulled up and flooded out of their cars that you were no longer needed. You stood up, backing away and letting Joaquin's hand slip through yours.

"You're not going to stay and hold my hand?" Joaquin called out to you, and you let a smile curl across your lips. Around you, people were starting to come out onto the street, lured by the sounds of the sirens and lack of shouting and general ruckus. Your eyes fell back on Joaquin who was still looking up at you, even as a paramedic flashed a light into his face.

"Maybe he can hold your hand," you said, gesturing to a paramedic who had slid into your place. Joaquin gave half a smile as you turned and left him in the hands of the professionals.

As you rounded the corner, arms full of blankets, the last person you expected to almost run into was Joaquin.

Part of the surprise was the kind that generally accompanied running into someone outside of the context you know them in. A larger part of the surprise was the fact that he was not in the hospital.

Instead, he stood before you, face swollen, bloodied and bruised, with the small white bandages of butterfly stitches above his right eye. He blinked at you, as if he was caught in the headlights.

"Pretty Joaquin," you said, surprise ringing through every part of your voice.

"Y/N."

At least his memory wasn't affected by whatever the Flag Smashers had done to him. His response time was also quicker than it had been two and a half hours ago, and he seemed all in all more present and less hazy. "What are you doing here?"

"I work here." Your own surprise and mild confusion had not quite worn off. "What are you doing here?"

For a variety of reasons, he was not the typical person who stumbled into the Zürich GRC Refugee Camp. He was both too young and too old and far more put together than a normal incomer. He didn't have that haunted look behind his eyes that made your heart wrench. He looked battered and bruised but ok.

"I need a place to stay."

Your eyes ran over his form, from his fluffy dark hair and banged up face to his bright white trainers. You lifted an eyebrow. "The hospital wouldn't take you?"

He shook his head with a sheepish grin. "It's just a broken orbital. Not much else they can do for it." Your eyebrows didn't lower and he gave half a laugh. "Trust me I'm as shocked as you are."

"I'll need you to fill out some paperwork."

He winced. "Any way that could wait until tomorrow? My head is killing me."

You stared intently at his face. Over the past four months of working at the GRC camp, you'd gotten good at reading people. You had an eye for knowing who was going to be trouble down the line and who would need some extra comfort and care. You knew who to push about their stories, and who to wait for--to be there as they slowly unraveled their tale.

So while there was a lot about pretty boy Joaquin that just didn't add up, you could see in his eyes that he could be trusted to stay the night. Just not here.

"You can't stay here without going through intake," you shook your head. "But if you really need a place to sleep, you can come with me."

"Really?" Joaquin asked, turning to follow you as you set back off towards your car, and you nodded.

"It's nothing special--just my couch. But I've been told it's very comfy."

Joaquin faltered a step, slowing down. "You're sure you want me coming and bloody-ing up your couch? I could just stay here and leave before--"

"I'll put down some papers," you said jokingly in an attempt to cut off the subject of him staying at the camp.

"Ok," he said, his voice distracted before there was a quick shuffle of footsteps and he caught back up with you. "Ok, thanks."

The two of you arrived at your car shortly thereafter, Joaquin moving to sit in the passenger seat as you dumped the blankets in the car. You came around to slip into the driver's seat, quickly backing out of the spot and setting off back home.

"So what's with all the blankets?" he asked, pulling his attention from the streets and buildings and back to you.

"We got a late donation tonight," you answered, flicking on your turn signal. "They needed someone here to help organize the drop off and then our washing machine broke, so I have to take work home with me." You smiled at the joke, but he just nodded, leaving you to wonder if maybe your English was off. The next few moments passed in quiet before you checked over at a traffic light to see if he was still awake. He was, but he looked dazed. Maybe he had been telling the truth about his head. You eyed his injuries which looked even worse in the red light. Like his entire right side of his face had been smashed.

"So what brought you to Switzerland?"

It wasn't the question you wanted to ask. You wanted to ask him what had happened with the Flag Smashers--why had they beaten him up so badly. But you weren't sure you were ready for that answer or if he'd even give it. So you asked a question you didn't care if he lied to you about.

"I was looking for someone," he said, and the light turned green, causing you to turn away and focus on your driving rather than him. Still the sentence seemed to end earlier than his thought as you could feel the weight of more words hovering between you. It was a familiar pressure in your ears and your chest, and you'd long grown accustomed to the discomfort.

Like many, Joaquin didn't give the thought words to escape on.

"A refugee?" you asked, and he wobbled his head.

"Yes and no. She survived the Snap."

"She?" A small feeling like a tight wire cord wound its way around your chest and a  warmth of embarrassment flooded the back of your neck. "Your sister? Your wife?"

"No," he shook his head. "My grandmother."

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him look at you for the first time.

"What's her name?  If she came to the camp I should know her."

"Mariana Torres," he answered, and you ran through the array of faces you'd met. There was a Mariana Böschl , but she was old enough to be his mother, not his grandmother.

You shook your head slowly. "I can check the registry tomorrow, but I don't think she's with us."

"Thanks," Joaquin said, looking back out the window at the passing city. "Were you Blipped?"

"No," you shook your head, pulling into your designated parking spot by your apartment. "I was lucky." The two of you climbed out of the car, and he met you by the trunk, pulling the blankets out before you could reach for them.

"Thank you," you said.  And he gave a small grin.

"Thanks for letting me stay with you."

You gestured with your head up the stairs, heading to your third floor apartment.

Joaquin trailed behind you, arms laden with the blankets, waiting patiently as you stopped and opened the door. "Welcome to my home," you greeted, allowing him to enter before you. Your small apartment was dark, and you flicked on the light so that Joaquin could walk further inside without running into a wall or your table. "You can put the blankets by the couch, I'll wash them tomorrow," you instructed, and he did as you suggested before wandering over to the couch.

"I think I have an extra pillow in the closet," you said.

"Great," he thanked, dropping down onto the couch.

It took a few minutes to find the pillow and put a pillowcase on top of it. By the time you walked back out to the living room, the light was still on, and so were his shoes, but he was passed out. You walked over to the sleeping boy, placing the pillow down next to the couch in case he woke up and pulling the blanket over his body, your eyes once more tracing over his injuries.

You would have to speak to Karli about the violence.

[ssamie]

epilogue. “your girlfriend’s kinda hot”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and suggestive themes + dirty jokes

masterlist.          suicide freak!

"hey uh, welcome to my stream i guess" he said as he spared the camera a quick glance "im not really playing tonight because an incident has recently occurred in this household" kenma said with a tired sigh 

nobody else knew it, but the said 'incident' was y/n accidentally setting half of their living room on fire 

the reason? apparently, she wanted to try burning herself to death in the furnace. obviously, it didn't work. and all that's left from that is more shit for kenma to clean up and a trip to yosano-san. 

kenma is stressed. and y/n is still alive. both of them are facing problems. 

"can you please wear a maid outfit- no."

kenma shook his head as he continued playing, glancing at the chat once in a while to read the veiwers' questions and comments

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: how about cat ears?! 

user: ^^ cATBOY CATBOY CATBOY 

user: u suck at this game wtf

kuroo.tetsu: hey kenma ;) 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"first of all, i do not suck at minecraft thank you very much" kenma scoffed 

"second of all, go away kuroo. im still mad at you" 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMFAOOO kuroo what did u do?? 💀💀

user: he probably broke kenma's pc 

user: PLSS he's the one kenma’s throwing shade at on twitter 

kuroo.tetsu: STOP THE SLANDER 😔✋🏼

user: rooster head lookin ass 

user: ^^ NOT THE HAIR 

kuroo.testsu: 😃😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma sighed as he continued building a cute little cottage. he was currently vibing, just building y/n a cute cottage for her to probably burn later on. 

and he decided it would be nice to go on stream since his oh-so-lovely girlfriend was still out for work. 

ah yes, kenma has somehow kept y/n alive all those years. 

barely. 

hence why his phone was being bombarded with messages from her, all of which being blurry selfies. 

the photos had her sporting a huge grin while atsushi panicked in the background. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ayo, ur phone's blowing up 

user: do you have a girlfriend? 

user: KODZUKEN LET ME SUCK UR TOES 😋😋🤩

user: ^ ayo chill 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma simply ignored them and continued on with his task. all was going well until a loud slam was heard. his cat-like eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice singing from downstairs, it was undoubtedly y/n. 

kenma chuckled nervously and muted his mic. 

but of course, cute dumb catboy didn't actually mute his mic. haha <3

he ignored all the questions in the chat, all of them being  speculations that he has a girlfriend. which he does, but they simply did not need to know that <3

"kenma~" she yelled out "i have a surprise for you!!" she said, followed by menacing giggles. 

kenma glanced at the camera before hopping off his gaming chair and peeking his head out of the door. 

"y/n, im streaming!! stay down there!" he yelled out in panic 

"aw, you're playing hard to get aren't ya?" she chuckled 

kenma deadpanned as he saw her limping up the stairs, with her bandages torn and unravelled, same with her clothes. he didn't really think much of it since this is usually how she comes home. 

its most likely just due to work and/or another suicide attempt.

"so, kenma.. you'll never know what just happened to me today" she started off with a goofy grin 

"im streaming, atleast let me turn it off first-" 

she paid no mind to him as she peeled off her ruined coat and pointed to her poorly bandaged stomach

"i got stabbed!" 

"you got what?!"

kenma furrowed his brows as he immediately rushed over to his side, cradling her face and waist as he inspected her injuries

"are you okay, kitten?" he asked worriedly 

"yep, apparently it wasnt deep enough to be fatal" she sighed dejectedly 

"please don't be sad about that." kenma groaned "can you undress?" 

"ara ara~ whats this?" she cooed "you're getting real bold, kenma" she smirked at him 

she unbuttoned her shirt and started pulling down on her skirt "but since you asked so nicely-" 

kenma simply sighed and shook his head. "i was gonna prepare you a bath but now im considering leaving you here to die" 

"but the second option would've been better though" she smiled at him 

"oh my fucking god." 

kozume kenma. (22)

╰─▸ university student, stock trader, pro-gamer, youtuber, ceo of bouncing ball lpt. 

╰─▸ y/n's struggling boyfriend. definitely needs a pay after all he's been through.

╰─▸ currently panicking because his girlfriend got stabbed.

l/n y/n. (22)

╰─▸ operative/member of the armed detective agency. 

╰─▸ kenma's girlfriend. kinda dumb, very hot to compensate for it. still hasn't died yet. 

╰─▸ currently bleeding and wounded. also hoping for severe blood loss.

"kenma, did you know" she mused in a teasing tone "lack of sleep and too much stress could possibly lead to poor memory and lack of awareness" 

kenma looked up at her with a look of confusion. he was currently kneeled down before her while she was sat on the bed as he cleaned her wound up with a damp towel. 

"why are you telling me this?" he asked 

"i just thought it probably applied to you" she snickered 

"why? i didnt forget anything-" 

he cut himself off with a huge intake of air. he slowly turned his head to look at the screen which still had his stream going on. to make it worse, the camera was on and they were both clearly in the camera's field of view. 

to make things worse worse, his mic was on the whole time and the live chat was in shambles. 

"i hate it here" he sighed 

kenma laid his head on her lap as he continued on patching her up, honestly not caring that this whole scene was being recorded for thousands or millions of people to see. 

"well, atleast the internet could finally see my beauty before i die" she laughed 

she ran her fingers through kenma's hair as he grumbled under his breath. kenma was a pretty private person. he made sure not to overshare, given his current 'influencer' status. and he was planning on keeping his relationship a secret, though it seems he can't do that anymore. 

"might as well say hi" she shrugged 

so of course, she then decided to walk up to the camera looking utterly dishevelled and roughed up. 

for context, the newly wrapped bandages around her stomach was being stained already by a crimson red hue and it was only getting worse the more she moved, undoubtedly messing up her wound. 

"hi, im kenma's girlfriend and if i see you flirting with him i will make you regret it" she grinned 

"y/n!" kenma groaned from the bed "you're close to dying right now, turn the stream off" 

ignoring him, she proceeded to read the veiwers' comments, laughing at some of them while she joked around. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: heLLO?!?! 

user: GE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOO

user: bruh, did i just hear that right? were you fuckin stabbed? 

user: ur kinda hot tho

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma furrowed his brows as he reluctantly walked up behind her, reading the comments with varying reactions 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: well damn, hot bloody girl comes in and suddenly im lesbian

user: kenma looks so done

kuroo.tetsu: hi y/n ;) 

user: HER NAME IS Y/N

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"jesus christ shut up, kuroo" kenma grumbled out with a sigh 

"yup! yup! im y/n, and no, i am not a criminal. i swear." she shook her head 

"i got an injury from my job, that's all." she cleared up 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: tangina nyo sana ol

user: MSKAKAKKA

user: THIS IS LOWKEY ICONIC

user: time to scratch another gamer boy off my possible bf list 😔

user: girl wtf happened to u

user: that's wack bro 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"great question, random person from the internet!" she beamed "see, what happened was.." 

"i went on a certain mission and got severely injured. though, when i called for help nobody responded" she said 

kenma furrowed his brows at her words. "why didn't anybody respond?" he asked. she sighed and fiddled with her torn bandages, pouting her lips as she does so. 

"well, when i told them that i was finally on death's door, all they said to me was 'congratulations!' and all that.." she said "what's your take on that, hm?" she asked kenma 

"im not surprised" he said 

she grinned at his words and leaned in for a kiss. "you're so mean to me, kenma~" she whined 

she licked her lips as she held his blushing face in her hands, she nuzzled their noses as she leaned in closer to him. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

kuroo.tetsu: oh shit 😳

user: we all know where this is heading ;) 

user: sana ol talaga punyemas 

user: AYO CHILL 

user: why we goin so fuckin fasstttt 😳

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma hastily turned the camera off as soon as y/n's lips touched his. 

"kitten, were still- hmph-" 

he was only silenced as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, smirking lightly as she ran her fingers through his hair 

"thanks babe." she said as she pulled away, giving him a soft peck on his cheek and a nod "anyways.." she hummed as she turned the camera on once again 

she looked through the chat while kenma slaps his face to get rid of his blush. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ur fuckin freaky 

kuroo.tetsu: oya oya 😼😼

user: MS MAAM I JUST MET U AND I LOVE U ALREADY WJABSJSJJS

user: not me blushing chiiilllleeeeee 🏃‍♀️

user: KENMA IS FLUSTERED

kuroo.tetsu: kenma, i didnt expect this from u 😼

user: im so fucking JEALOUS GRR😡

user: girl r u bleeding rn 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

upon reading a certain comment, she subconsciously grazed her fingers against her bandaged wound. her eyes slightly widening as she felt a concerning amount of wetness seeping through

she glanced at kenma who was still calming himself down and inspected her wound 

"oh my.." she muttered, though she couldn't help but let a smile slip through 

so like any normal person would do, she simply ignored her bleeding wound and the fact that she was getting a bit lightheaded. haha <3

"anyways, let's answer some questions!" she beamed 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: what's ur full name

user: what's ur job miss girl 

user: are you possibly looking for a gf, because i am more 

than willing to take the spot 🚶‍♀️

user: how did you meet?? 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"alright, those are all very nice questions" she chuckled. kenma, who's now calmed down, sat down beside her to look at the chat. 

"first, im l/n y/n" she mused "nice to meet ya" 

"second im a detective! mhm, im cooler than your fathers" 

"third, it depends, belladonna" she cooed as she sent the camera flirty smirk "are you perhaps willing to join me in a double suicide?" 

"oh god.." kenma grumbled. he pouted at her and shook his head in disapproval. "don't flirt with random girls" he whined 

"why not?" 

"uh- because i am your beloved boyfriend, is that not good enough of a reason??" 

"... anyways, we met at a cafe way back in high school" she said with a smile "also, i asked him to join me on a double suicide" she said 

she was smiling and nodding as if it was the most normal thing in the world, all while kenma nods along 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: wtf are u okay 🗿

kuroo.tetsu: teenage romance 🤩

user: cute ❤️

user: im concerned ❤️

user: ur a detective?? cool

user: LMAOO I'LL GO ON A DOUBLE SEWER SLIDE 

WITH U MOMMY 😩😩😋

user: ^^ SAME 😩

user: CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BANDAGES MOMMAE 😩

user: u r still bleeding 🚶‍♀️        

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma was simply glaring at the chat as more compliments and flirtatious comments came flowing in, all of which were directed to his girlfriend. 

"this is why i didn't wanna let people know about you.." kenma grumbled 

"aww, why not?" she asked with a playful pout 

"people are flirting with you." he sighed "also, stop asking for my girlfriend's onlyfans! she doesn't even have one!" he snarled

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMAOO CATBOY IS ANGRY 😩

user: y/n-senpai spit on me 😡😡

user: drop the onlyfans 

user: chupapi munyanyo 😩

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"anyways, i'd hate to ruin the mood" she chimed in with a sluggish giggle "but im so wet kenma" she whined out 

a menacing smirk was etched on her lips as kenma spluttered in response, a bright red hue covering his face almost instantly as he faced her with widened eyes 

"y-y/n! why would you say that?!" he whisper shouted 

"cuz i am" she whined out as she grabbed his hand and trailed it down her abdomen 

she faced the camera and gave them a shit-eating grin as kenma mumbled out incoherent words 

"y/n we should-" he cut himself off as he felt the concerning amount of blood drip down his whole arm 

kenma's face paled as he looked up to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store, completely unbothered. 

"y/n, you idiot! why didn't you tell me!" kenma exclaimed 

"um- my girlfriend is bleeding. excessively. so uh- bye i guess" it was all he said before hastily ending his stream and turning off his computer. 

"y/n, let's get you to a hospital" he said as he reached down to carry her away. though she simply slapped his hands off and closed her eyes. 

"nope. this is my time, kenma. don't ruin it for me" she said 

"you're fucking dying!!" 

"well, would you like to join me?" 

"no"

"damn." she muttered in response 

"so...wanna fuck?" she asked sheepishly 

"for the love of god-" 

this was so messy :/

[blindingdutchy]

lamentation | SEVEN

{peter parker x fem!reader AU}

based on All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

SERIES MASTERLIST

word count: 4,000

warnings: fluff. angst. language. not even sure why i warn for angst anymore this whole story is just angsty af

18+!!! minors stay away!

In the following few weeks, you realized two things. One: Peter Parker was definitely not subtle. The other being that you were definitely in way over your head. There was no denying the stupid butterflies in your stomach anymore, or the way you found yourself expecting his touch before it even came.

It seemed as though the two of you were like magnets; a constant tug gravitating the pair of you back to each other with an unstoppable force. If you weren't together, he was on your mind, and like he could sense you thinking of him he'd be quick to reach out in some way or another. Be it appearing at your side, all happy grins and playful eyes, or calling your phone no matter the time with his stupidly adorable stutter--Peter seemed to think of you just as much as you thought of him.

The more that you thought of him, the more that you wished you didn't. It was terrifying. You wished that you could pull away again, to push him back out of your heart and lock those iron bars tight once more, but your heart had grown selfish and stubborn. It was as if you were the one locked out anymore; the control over your feelings slipping further and further from your clutches with every toothy smile Peter sent your way.

Like a magnet, he held you in place. Oh, to be held by... You slapped a pillow over your face and screamed, holding it so tightly that your nose ached and you couldn't breath. Peter Parker was like a disease. A stupid, all-consuming, utterly infatuating disease of the mind and the spirit.

You knew that you were wasting time, undoubtedly causing yourself to risk being late for school with every minute that passed as you continued to lay in your bed, but you couldn't bring yourself to get up. Already, your mother and father both had knocked at your door on multiple occasions and questioned if you were sick, and now you were regretting saying no. It would have been so easy to avoid him if you'd just played hookie.

But, with midterms in the near future, you knew it wasn't the best idea. The realization had come to you in the night. A moment so insignificant, so mundane, but it had been as if a switch were flipped in your mind. A light was turned on, so to speak, and illuminated all the thoughts and emotions you'd been so tirelessly repressing.

Talking on the phone with Peter was like a drug, and talking on the phone to him at night was a dangerous game. Under the dull light of a crescent moon and the ridiculous teddy-bear night light that was plugged into your wall, a lingering remnant of your sister's presence in the space, your inhibitions were always low. With sleepiness your walls were always lowered, and he'd unknowingly put a fatal crack in the foundation.

You rolled onto your stomach on your bed, kicking your feet through the air like a little kid as you fought back the grin that always seemed to worm its way across your lips when you were talking to him. "So, how do you like Ned and MJ?" Peter asked, and you could almost picture him mirroring your position as you heard the quiet rustle of blankets over the line. A little giggle bubbled out of your mouth at the thought.

What a sight that would be, Peter kicking his legs to and fro like a school girl in love. "They're cool. I kinda like that MJ doesn't even pretend to hide the fact that she thinks I'm weird. I don't--I don't know, it's refreshing I guess. Ned's sweet." you rambled, and it was the truth.

Ned and MJ were easily slipping into the fortress that shielded your heart with every passing day. Somehow, it wasn't as terrifying as you'd expected it to be. Perhaps that was because they didn't harbor a secret identity with which they risked their lives every single night, or maybe it was just because you'd come to realize that letting people in wasn't so bad. Not everyone was going to die on you.

Michelle Jones really didn't pretend not to think you were weird, not even a little bit. Her blunt and honest nature was a nice change from the quiet stares that seemed to follow your every move; MJ wasn't much for staring. Rather, she boldly told you what she was thinking without any shred of doubt.

And Ned, sweet Ned Leeds, was like a puppy personified. Always happy, always smiling, and always waiting to offer you compliments when you approached. You couldn't remember the last time someone had dared compliment your hair, your smile, or your outfits. Ned made it impossible to feel anything but comfort and joy in his presence, even his awkward nature was endearing.

"I'm glad." Peter hummed, "They really like you. To be honest, though, I kinda like it when it's just us. Maybe I should have waited a little longer to share you."

There was a pang in your chest at his words. Peter had been subtly flirting with you for days now, but this was more direct. He didn't have to come right out and say it for his implications to come across loud and clear, and that magnetic pull grew stronger.

So strong, in fact, that you murmured back, "I like it when it's just us, too."

If you had just kept your mouth shut, maybe he wouldn't have been so bold as to say, "Not gonna let them steal your heart from me, are you?"

The words were right at the tip of your tongue. Your heart was screaming, never! Nobody could ever steal me away from you, Peter! Yet, your mind was racing with a million and one horrible thoughts that made you feel as though your mouth was full of mud.

The silence between yourself and Peter grew thick as it drew on, no words escaping your lead-like lips. The voice in your brain, the one that sounded like your sister yet you knew was not her, was ringing in your ears. How could you ever fall in love, when she never could? How could you give your heart away, when she never had the chance?

You took that chance away from her. You stole it. This thing, whatever the weird force between the two of you was, was all stolen time, stolen opportunities, and stolen lives.

"Good night, (Y/N). I'll see you at school?"

You whispered, "Yes." The line went dead, and you felt cold.

Those simple words from Peter, with meaning and intention that was far from simple, were all it took to send the walls, bars, and barbed wire around your heart crumbling into nothing. With no protection, no barrier between yourself and the dangers of everyone else, your mind was working on overdrive. It would have been so easy to let him in, had that voice remained quiet, and yet you were steadily building those bricks back into place.

Now, all that was left to do was to steal your heart back. When had he managed to take it from you? Had he snuck in during the night, slipping through the strategically placed cracks and weak points he'd created, and stole away with it undetected? Had he taken it that first night, without you ever noticing?

As you finally released the pressure over the pillow on your face, sucking in a shaky breathe and letting all the heavy things crash over you again, tears burned your eyes. You didn't want to push Peter away. You didn't want to be the reason he was hurt, upset, or angry--you weren't ready to be the villain in his story.

"Mom?" you called out, knowing she was lingering close by.

Proving you correct, the door to your bedroom cracked open only seconds later and your mother's worried eyes fell upon your blinking ones. She definitely saw the troubled look on your face, the tears in your eyes, yet she held back from mentioning any of it as she asked, "Are you sick, honey?"

You nodded, the lump in your throat aiding your act as you croaked, "Yes. I don't feel good."

She frowned a little, knowing that you were bending the truth of the matter. Your mother was perceptive, and with the emotion all over your face, it easy for her to know that this wasn't some stomach bug or sore throat. To your relief, though, she resigned, "I'll call you out of school for the day. I'll be in my office if you need me."

Tomorrow, you could be the villain. For today, though, you were content to avoid your troubles and wallow in your self pity. At least this way you had some time to slip back into your stoic, cold demeanor before you had to face him. Time to prepare yourself to be alone again, because you knew that once you pushed Peter Parker away, Ned and MJ would be quick to follow him.

Sleep didn't come for you like you hoped it would. Well, it did, but then you found yourself dreaming of Peter and woke with a start. School had started an hour ago, and already there were a flurry of confused and increasingly alarmed messages from him lighting up your phone screen. Even though you couldn't hold back from reading them, you locked it before you found yourself replying as if on autopilot.

Pete: are you late

Pete: i'm at your locker

Pete: hello?

Pete: i'm going to class... see you there?

Pete: are you okay? you said you'd be here

Pete: at least let me know you're aldkhdkfj

You spent the day in your room, ignoring Peter and ignoring the world. Occasionally your mother would crack open your door to check on you, fussing over feeling your forehead despite the fact that you both knew you didn't have a fever, and tittering little comments about getting rest and staying hydrated. She knew you weren't sick, yet you were grateful she didn't try to pry.

As much as you wanted to tell her all of the things that were on your mind, the reasons that you were upset, you couldn't. You couldn't tell her all of the awful things you were thinking, and see the way her face would contort in anguish over you. You certainly couldn't listen to her telling you that it wasn't your fault, you weren't wrong for liking a boy, and your sister would want you to be happy. Even if you knew, in some deep part of your brain, that it was true.

Pete: got my phone taken in calculus sorry

Pete: I'm at lunch now, are you okay?

Pete: are you sick?

Pete: like... actually sick?

Peter really was relentless. You wondered how long it would take for him to catch onto what you were doing, or if he would at all. Would he understand why you suddenly gave him the cold shoulder? Would he understand, and be okay when you pushed him away again?

Pete: I'm in speech now.

Pete: we got the class to work on the speech and you're not here

Pete: not that we could do much anyways since you're so stubborn but still

Pete: okay what is going on

Pete: (Y/N)

Pete: please talk to me

Reading all of his messages kept the ache in your chest alive, stopping the numbness from creeping back in. You wished you could put your phone down, turn it off even, but it was like a cruel an addicting game to read each message as it arrived. You found yourself watching the little three dots as he typed another message eagerly, even if he was far from happy.

When school ended, he called. You let it ring each time, watching his name scroll across your screen over and over again until it ended. Once, twice, three times--he finally stopped calling, not leaving a voicemail.

For awhile, you wondered if that was it. Was he done? Had he caught on? Had he figured you out just as easily as he always seemed to do? Had Peter given up?

Pete: i know what you're doing

Pete: i'm sorry if i made you uncomfortable

Pete: we can just be friends if that's what you want

It wasn't what you wanted, and that was the problem. You didn't want to be friends with Peter Parker. Well, you didn't want to just be friends with him. You wanted to know what his touch felt like when it was deliberate and welcoming, not the fleeting and curious brushes of his skin on yours. To be held by him, to taste his lips, to hold his heart in your hands like he already held yours--you wanted so much more than friendship with Peter, and that made you a thief and a fraud.

You: that's not what i want

You were weak. A weak, cowardly idiot is what you were, and you threw your phone on your bed with a groan as you realized what you'd done. The voice in your mind whispered insults, taunting you for being so easily broken.

Pete: what do you mean

You: i don't want to be friends with you Peter

Pete: oh

One simple word, and you realized he had taken that in a completely different way than you had meant it. Yet, you didn't correct him. You didn't explain that you meant you didn't want to just be friends. Maybe this was your chance--an easy way to kick him outside your walls without having to see it firsthand.

The chance didn't last long. A quiet knock sounded on your window, and your heart froze in your chest as you tried to sink deeper into your bed. It was the wind, you told yourself, until the knock sounded again and slightly louder. You could see the shadow on your floor out of the corner of your eye, and you buried your face into your pillow to block it out. If you ignored him, he would go away, and this would all be over.

After a few more knocks, it was silent for awhile, and you tempted a look at the floor only to frown at the sight of the shadow missing. He was gone, and you were alone again. Your lip quivered at the thought; what had you done? It was a mistake. This was a mistake.

You didn't want to push him away. You wanted him to hold your heart. You wanted Peter Parker as your friend, as more than a friend, hell, as anything as long as it was with you. But now? Going back on your word and dragging him back in again would be pathetic. He didn't deserve such treatment, especially not from you.

So, you pulled your pillow back over your face and let the tears fall. Your hot breath burned your eyes and made you feel sticky and gross, but you didn't care one bit. It felt cathartic to cry, like returning to a familiar place you'd been skirting around for ages. Crying over Peter was different than crying over your sister; the hurt was different, but one thing was the same: both were all your fault.

"Go away, mom." you whined, barely hearing the sound of your door unlatching over your muffled sniffles. It creaked further open, and you groaned, pressing the pillow harder onto your face, "Mom, please, I just want to be alone."

A throat cleared, and you froze. That wasn't your mother, the voice was deeper. The sound was still too light to be your father's, though, and that left one option that made your blood run cold. He didn't--did he?

He did. Peter pried the pillow out of your hands, all red cheeks and sad eyes as he stared at you in a sullen silence. "Why are you doing this?" he whispered, "Why are you pushing me away?"

You blinked at him, too paralyzed by the sight of his fluttering eyelids and pouting lips to speak. It must have been a sight to see you like that, your face red and blotchy, streaked with tears and snot that you'd been too lazy to wipe away. He didn't look away from your eyes, though, gazing into them with an intensity that dared you to look away.

Sensing that you weren't going to speak, he pressed on, "(Y/N), what is going on? I don't--It's okay if you don't like me back, I can deal with that. I want to be your friend, though. I thought you wanted to be mine, too."

Voice scratchy, you muttered, "I don't."

Something changed in him, and suddenly Peter was raking a hand through his hair as he frowned deeply. You wanted to smooth the crease between his brows, but you felt frozen. He was angry; he was angry with you, and he didn't hold back as he snapped, "That's bullshit, and you know it. If you didn't want to be friends, then why did you make that deal? Why did you let me make a complete fool of myself just to get your attention? Why did you let me introduce you to my friends? Stop lying to me!"

"I'm not!" you yelped, sitting up frantically and wiping at your face, finally. "I'm not lying, Pete!"

He threw his head back at the nickname, a sigh of exasperation forcing its way from his lips, nostrils flared. "I don't get you, (Y/N). I don't get you at all." he growled, facing you again with a heavy brow.

You gripped your blankets tightly, bunching them around your waist as you blinked at him with wide eyes. "I don't want to just be your friend, Peter!" you burst, "I don't want to just be your friend, and I don't know why. You make me feel all these things that terrify me, but I keep chasing after you and whatever those things are! It was so easy being alone, okay? Then suddenly you came swinging into my life and made everything so--so complicated!"

Your mother's face peered into your room, eyes blown wide in surprise, but the moment you glanced at her she backed away with a bitten smile and you flushed. You didn't get the chance to dwell on the fact that she'd been eavesdropping, though, because Peter sat on the edge of your bed and bit the inside of his cheek, blinking at you with teasing eyes.

"So, you like me?"

Eyes narrowed, you grumbled, "Are you really going to make me say it, Pete? After all of that?"

A sly grin stretched across his lips, cheeks puffing out adorably and making you bite your own to keep from grinning too. He tutted, raising his ruffled brow as he jabbed, "After everything else today? I think it's the least you could do."

You were screwed. His fingertips barely caressed the backs of your knuckles, and you shakily grabbed them before he pulled away again. "I like you, jerk." you mumbled, screwing your eyes shut as you felt your face burn in embarrassment.

Peter just chuckled, squeezing your hand as you felt your bed shift under his weight. "I don't want to just be your friend, either." his breathe fanned over your cheek, and your eyes snapped open to find his face closer than ever. If you just turned, ever so slightly, his lips would brush your own... He kissed your cheek softly, backing away with a tiny smile that you matched. "I like you a lot. Probably more than like, really."

"That scares me." you whispered, eyes still latched onto his, "Peter, you scare me."

He took a long moment to answer, weighing heavily the words he would utter next, before finally telling you, "You scare me, too, but I think it's worth it."

A gentle tapping at your door crashed through the moment, both of your faces burning a deep red as you turned to face your mother's sheepish smile. "Sorry, sorry, don't mind me--"

"Mom!" you wailed, slapping your hands over your face in mortification as she stealthily slipped into your room and dropped a box of condoms onto your dresser before racing away again. "Oh, I can't believe she--Mom! Did you really have to do that?"

Peter was laughing boisterously, head thrown back and eyes shut, though you could tell he was flustered too from the cherry red color that creeped down from his face and under his shirt. As humiliated as you were by your mother's actions, you couldn't help but to feel a little grateful for the interruption. The intensity, the tension in the air, had disappeared with the intrusion, and things felt a little bit lighter again.

You flopped back onto your bed, still pouting over the spectacle, as Peter breathed out, "That's so something Aunt May would have done, too."

At least you weren't alone in the embarrassing family department, you thought to yourself as Peter threw himself down beside you. She meant well, obviously, but did she really think that you and Peter were going to go from admitting you liked each other to ripping each other's clothes off in one night? Well, you were eighteen--maybe she had a bit of a reason to be so hasty.

"Do you think it's worth it?" Peter questioned, and you turned your head to face him, trying to ignore the close proximity of his face to your own. "Liking me?"

You chewed at your lip, listening for that voice in your head that had suddenly gone silent. "Yeah, yeah I do." you responded, and his face split in a blushing smile. You did think it was worth it, because being with him reminded you of all the good feelings you missed out on when he wasn't around. "I just wish we could have been like this before. Maybe then I wouldn't feel like I'm stealing her life."

He grew serious in an instant, eyebrows furrowing as he stated, "I don't." At the sight of your confusion, he continued, "I don't wish we met before. Can you honestly say that you're the same person you were before?"

"No."

He nodded, "Exactly. Stuff like that... It changes you. I would know, remember? You wouldn't be the you that I like, and if Uncle Ben were here maybe I wouldn't be who you like, either."

You had to admit, he had a point. "I guess so." you pondered aloud.

"You're not stealing her life, either, (Y/N). She would have wanted you to be happy, to do all the things she never got to. It took me a long time to stop thinking that way, too, but I did. It wasn't your fault, and you can't miss out on stuff just because of her." Peter advised, and you swallowed down the lump that was growing steadily in your throat, "She didn't give up her life for you to stop living yours."

Fuck, Peter really knew exactly what to say. You, however, were at a loss for words. He said all of the things that you'd needed to hear for so long, so perfectly, and it rocked you to your core. How did he know just what you needed to hear? The answer was simple--because he knew you, and he knew how you were feeling. He knew, because he had lived it.

Changing the subject, you asked, "So, what do we do now?"

You didn't have to explain for him to understand, and he swallowed thickly, "Do you... will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yeah. That might be worth it."

He scoffed, "Might be? Forget it, I don't want you to be my--"

"I want to be your girlfriend, Pete!" you cut him off, laughing loudly. "I really, really want to." So, maybe you lied when you said that Peter made things complicated. In fact, Peter made things incredibly easy--and that made it worth it.

SERIES TAGLIST {ask to be added}:

@msmimimerton @zendayasfwb @sweet-symphony @cherthegoddess @justsomebodyweird

[turkisherlockian]

The Hat - Request [Benedict Cumberbatch x Reader AU]

Summary: Y/N is a young director who worked with and has a crush on Benedict Cumberbatch. He finds out that she used to write fanfictons about Sherlock and decides to give her a gift.

Word count: 1941

A/N: Happy birthday @shackleschains 🎂🎉❤️ I hope you like it! 😸

-----

''You never worked with Y/N before, have you?''

Benedict smiled and turned to Y/N. They developed a great friendship while working together, Y/N got on well with everyone and they all had so much fun.

''Yeah,'' Benedict said, ''I wish I met her earlier, though. She's a great director, she's energetic, magnetic, amazing...''

''Tell them something they don't know, Ben!'' Y/N nudged him and they all laughed, ''I'm just kidding...''

''No, seriously, that's what everyone thinks about you.'' He smiled.

''Aww... Thank you.''

''Alright, love birds...'' This made them both chuckle, ''So, Benedict, what was it like working with Y/N?''

''I had so much fun, it was great. She was great. She might be young,'' He grinned, teasing Y/N, ''But she has a brilliant mind and she's going to prove that in the film. Not that she needs to.''

The interviewer smiled as Y/N blushed, he turned to her, ''What was it like to work with Benedict?''

''You know, I'm known for my short films and this is my very first time directing a film, so I was really anxious because... Well, he is Benedict Cumberbatch!'' Benedict smiled as she continued, ''He's been very helpful, understanding... He's very clever! Just amazing. It was an honour to work with him, and I hope we can work together in the future, as well.''

''I hope that too, young lady.''

''I'm not that young!''

Benedict grinned, ''Yes you are, and that's great. You're a genius.'' He hugged her with his left arm, pulling her closer as she blushed.

''Well, turned into a complienting competition...'' Y/N grinned, ''Thank you so much. You're so kind.''

Benedict nodded with a smile, then turned to the interviewer who asked a question to Y/N again. ''We've been told that you're a Sherlock Holmes fan and you used to write fanfictions... Is that true?''

Y/N facepalmed as Benedict turned to her with a frown, ''Why didn't I know this?''

She pulled back, her cheeks burning. ''It's embarrassing!''

''No it's not!'' Benedict chuckled, ''It's adorable.''

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, ''Alright... I was a huge fan. I wrote and read a lot, just like any teenager would do.''

''That's why it's not embarrassing, darling.''

''So...'' The interviewer interrupted them with a smile, ''You started filming things at a very young age, didn't you?''

''Yeah... I started with small things, really. I filmed my toys, my pets, making short clips, you know. Then I started filming nature and went to courses as I couldn't get accepted to a film academy. However, my short films got thousands of views overnight - which was crazy, and now here I am. And I'm so happy to be here.'' She smiled and turned to Benedict, which he replied with a comforting touch on her back.

The interviewer turned to Benedict, ''How would you describe your character, Benedict?''

Y/N couldn't focus on what he said as she watched him, he was beautiful. She could study his features as they were still so close to each other. His lips, eyes, eyelashes, beautiful skin and every single detail on it. She wanted touch him terribly.

''Y/N?''

''Huh? Sorry, I got distracted...''

''You must have been tired... Thank you for the interview, Y/N, Benedict, it's been fun!''

They shook hands as they got escorted outside, a car waiting for them.

Benedict got into the car after her and sighed, ''You're exhausted, aren't you?'' he asked with a smile.

''I am... How about you?''

''I'm shattered... As I'm old...''

Y/N chuckled, ''You're not old!''

Benedict shook his head with a grin, then turned to her. ''You'll get used to it. Interviews, fame, fans... Papparazzi and their cameras that follow you anywhere you go. But I need you to know that, Y/N, you're really good at your job. I didn't get the chance to say it properly earlier, but I really enjoyed working with you. I hope we do it again.''

She teared up quickly, feeling honoured. ''Thank you so much,'' she smiled, ''I feel the same way.''

Benedict nodded and smiled, squeezing her hand gently, ''I didn't say it to make you cry...''

''I know,'' She nodded and wiped her tears with her shirt's sleeves as the car got closer to the hotel. ''So... Are you free tomorrow?''

''Yeah. What for? I mean, doesn't matter why you asked, I just...''

He chuckled as the car stopped and he opened the door before getting out and giving her his hand. She took it with a smile as she sniffled, then got out of the car as well. ''Would you like to... Have dinner with me? In my room?'' He blushed, ''I mean, I have something to show you...''

Y/N nodded and smiled, ''I'd love that...''

They walked into the hotel together and got into the elevator. ''What time should I come?'' Y/N asked.

''I'll be back at around seven. How about seven thirty?''

''Sounds good...''

Silence filled the cabin as Y/N bit her lip, then it stopped and Benedict followed her outside. ''I'll see you tomorrow, then.'' He said with a smile.

''See you... Sleep well.'' Y/N smiled too and nodded, unlocking her room's door.

Y/N couldn't sleep, not at all. She kept thinking of what he was going to show her, what could it be? Also, she tried to avoid the embarrassment of the fact that she did write fanfictions and smut. People still knew even though she deactivated her account. And Benedict found out. He found out!

She was just a teenager, she had no idea that she could meet him one day, let alone work with him!

However, her eyes were aching and she was really tired, so she drifted off to sleel quickly.

-----

Y/N woke up to the sound of her phone, it was vibrating violently.

She sat up in horror and took it, unlocking it quickly. Y/N checked WhatsApp first to see what's going on.

Her friends texted her asking if Benedict and her were dating, the interview was posted on YouTube - that was surprisingly fast, and a photo of her looking at Benedict in love, was everywhere.

Y/N took a deep breath, everyone thought they were dating! Did Benedict know about it? If he did, how did he react? Would he be angry at her? No - she's done nothing wrong. Except for having a crush on him and looking at him like that...

She bit her lip and replied to her friends' messages, but didn't post anything online. She didn't know what to do, she didn't even have an agent or someone she could ask what to do. Maybe I could ask Benedict, she thought, but she was too embarrassed by the way she looked at him. What would he think? Did she ruin his reputation? Did he have a partner already? Y/N sighed and got out of the bed.

She put her phone away and turned it off.

Y/N had the whole day for herself until dinner if Benedict wasn't going to cancel it. She knew he wouldn't do such rude thing, but... She felt exposed. It was embarrassing. However, she wanted to look nice for him, so she spent an hour deciding on what she was going to wear. Y/N did her best to spend time, but there were still a few hours until dinner, so she turned her phone on and started reading what people think.

''I'll kill myself if they're not dating!!!''

''He's too good for her.''

''She looks so in love! I mean, who wouldn't?''

There were a few memes too, she was grinning and sending them to her friends before an unknown number called her. With hesitation, she picked up.

It was Benedict's PR team, asking her to not make a comment about the situation yet.

If his team knew, Benedict would know it too.

Thankfully, it was 6 PM and she could start getting ready. Y/N chose a white, puff sleeve and square neck summer dress and combined it with a chain necklace. She put on some makeup after getting her hair done, then checked her phone to see what time it was.

7 PM.

Time passed quickly as she tidied her room, and she put on her perfume before leaving her room right at 7:30.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N knocked on his door and smiled when he opened it.

Benedict couldn't take his eyes off her for a while, ''Hi, umm... Come in...''

''You look lovely...'' He said as he gestured her to take a seat.

''Thank you... So do you... Handsome, I mean. You look handsome. Not just right now, you always do, Oh God, please never compliment me again...'' Y/N blushed and covered her face with her hands as she sat down. Benedict chuckled, ''Thank you darling.'' He sat down in front of her, ''What would you like for dinner?''

Y/N hummed and shrugged, ''I don't know... You decide.''

''How about pizza? You love pizza.''

This made her smile. ''Sounds great.''

He got up to call for room service, then ordered her favourite. Y/N was fiddling with her fingers as Benedict came back, ''What's wrong?''

''Nothing... I mean, you heard about the rumors, didn't you?''

Benedict smiled, ''Do you really care about them? People always make assumptions.''

Y/N smiled too, Assumptions, she thought, but I do like you.

She sighed as he offered his hand. Y/N looked up at him in confusion. ''I'll show you something.'' Benedict said with a smile, then led her to the bedroom when she held his hand.

Y/N's heart was beating fast as she saw a gift box on the bed. Benedict picked it up and turned to her, ''This is for you.''

She was surprised, ''I... Why? I mean, it's not my birthday...'' Y/N chuckled mervously. ''You receive gifts only on your birthday? What a shame. Well, it'll change, darling. Now, open it.'' He said excitedly.

Y/N smiled and bit her lip, opening it. She looked up at him in shock, ''No.''

''Yes.''

She chuckled, can't believe her eyes. It was a deerstalker. The deerstalker that Benedict used, actually.

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she put the box on the bed and took the famous hat out of it, touching it. She couldn't help but smiled as he spoke, ''I wanted to keep it after filming the last season.''

''This is the best gift I have ever received! Thank you!'' Y/N exclaimed as she hugged his neck on tiptoes, earning a chuckle from him and a warm hug back. ''You're welcome, sweetheart. I'm glad you liked it.''

Y/N pulled back but her arms were still on his shoulders, and she felt her cheeks burn as he looked into her eyes and then, at her lips. Y/N closed her eyes as she felt his soft lips on hers, feeling like she ran out of oxygen in a second. Benedict pulled back quickly for her liking, so she kissed him lovingly. ''I like you.'' she whispered, and then regretted it immediately. What if he told her he did not? It would break her heart.

However, Benedict grinned. ''I like you too.''

They kissed again and Y/N pulled back as someone knocked on the door. He let out a low groan, which made her wet, and then pecked her lips. ''It must be room service.''

Y/N nodded with a smile and followed him, the hat still in her hands. Benedict turned around with the tray to see her wearing it with a grin.

-----

After dinner, Y/N posted a selfie of them, her wearing the hat. Then they started reading comments together.

"He made her wear the hat!'' Someone commented, making a reference to Janine's words in the newspaper.

And in the end of the night, he did make her wear the hat.

---

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