#Hope I was clear and didn't just word vomit XD

[cheryl-writes]

I'm very confused by the ending I received to Starless. It said Ending #2, at that I didn't fully lose trust, but there wasn't really any closure at all. I found Ambrose and then it suddenly ended with no warning. I'm not sure how or why I got that ending? The only option I saw that seemed to relate to Ambrose's trust was at the very beginning.

Ambrose and the Mc have been very close since way before Starless. It's not closure the story focuses on but the relationship the Mc has with the prophecy. The trust level is the only thing standing in the way between the mc wanting to live their life freely or letting the prophecy rule them.

The story ends there, when it says 'ENDING' and then 'STARLESS'. The last scene is just a little sneak peak of what really happened to Ambrose. It was meant to show what he was doing the day the MC finally wakes up and what happened to Townwell

Should I just take the it off? 🤔

This story is pretty much either the epilogue of their (the Mc and Ambrose) adventures together or the prologue of the story of the Mc and the prophecy.

[rachi-roo]

loved your BSD fic involving Atsushi with a migraine! 🤍 I’d love to see how you’d write some Akutagawa whump 👀 just wanna see that stubborn frail man SUFFER—

-------------{ ☆°•○•°☆ }--------------

Bungou Stray Dogs: Breathe Easy.

⚠️WOOP! WOOP! WOOP! WHUMP ALERT! WHUMP ALEEERT!⚠️ Thank you SO much for saying so! I had fun writing that one, and this one, too! Whump just 😭👌 You know? I hope this one turns out to be your liking, buddy. As someone who has experienced some ATROCIOUS asthma attacks, I'm writing this purely from my worst experience. For the juicy whumps. XD

Summary: After a mission, Akutagawa suffers and asthma attack, and Chuuya races against time to find and save him!

Tw: Asthma symptoms, vomiting, CPR

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Chuuya's voice crackled through Akutagawas earpiece as he exited through the back door of a port yard wear house. "Meet up at the extraction point. We'll head to the meeting from there."

The cold sea air caught in Akutagawas throat as he stepped out the door, a cough getting stuck in his chest as he responded to Chuuya. "Y-Yes, mhm. I'll be there ihin- cough-!" He had just finished wiping out a gang of weapon smugglers, and for some reason, it left him more out of breath than usual.

He covered his mouth, breathing steadily through his nose.

Calm down. Calm down.

"Akutagawa?" Hearing his partner coughing wasn't unusual for Chuuya, but he had learned to tell when it was serious. "You good?"

The other cleared his throat, feeling his chest tighten slightly.

Don't panic. Breathe.

He tried to speak again, but all that came out was an aggressive string of dry coughing. He clutched his chest, desperately trying to will himself to breathe, but nothing worked. His chest grew tighter. His breath shortened by the second.

An asthma attack.

They always come on so quickly. One. Two. Three. Four. Seconds passed, he never had time to think. Panic set in as he felt his lungs ache, being robbed of oxygen as he coughed again, dry wrenching as he doubled over in pain.

I can't breathe.

He wheezed, leaning one arm on a wall for support, his hands starting to feel tingly with numbness. A cold sweat pooling on his forehead.

"Ch- gasp Chuya-!" He called desperately through his raspy voice. What else could he do? Chuuya was his lifeline right now.

"I'm on my way. Stay put. Have you got your inhaler?"

Of course he didn't. Carrying one of those around made him look more feeble than he already was. A foolish move, which he regretted every time.

He stumbled to his knees, heaving and gagging on another round of harsh coughing. A line of saliva falls from his mouth as he begged internally for a breath.

His stomach churned with the strain his body was under, throwing up aggressively on the concrete. The acidic sting in his throat worsened as he tried breathing in directly after. The smell stinging his eyes. He fumbled frantically with his Jabot, ripping it from his neck as if removing it would make some kind of difference.

Hurry. Please.

The human body can last thirty to one hundred and eighty seconds without oxygen before collapsing. Time was short. Akutagawa couldn't help the tears that started to stream down his cheeks, his eyes red and sore with the effort and strain of the coughing. Unable to get a deep enough breath, his vision started to fade as black shapes danced before him.

The pain was unbearable. He looked around for someone to help him. Anyone. Another wave of nausea hit, Akutagawas heaved, throwing up for a second time, almost choking on the acidic bodily contents.

I can't see.

"H-Help-!" He wheezed through his tears, barely louder than a whisper, almost completely blind by this point even with his eyes open.

His mind started to faulter. Hearing things that weren't there. A strange, booming sound echoed through his skull, his own heartbeat. Unbearably loud, blocking out the sound of Chuuyas words as he desperately tried to find him among the various giant buildings and machinery at the dock.

Hands numb. Chest throbbing. Throat burning. His body gave out, collapsing onto the ground, barely missing the pile of puke beside him as he rolled onto his back, wheezing and gasping for air. The ends of his coat, Rashōmon, thrashed and flailed as it also felt his panic and fear.

"Akutagawa! Answer me! Damn it, where are you?"

The only sound he could make was a strangled gagging as he lay flat, barely able to lift a finger as the numbness had spread. In only eighty seconds, the mighty and feared Akutagawa Ryūnosuke had been defeated by a cruel mistake placed upon him by his own genetics.

His body twitched, his lips starting turn a shade of blue only comparable to that of a corpse. The ground fell from beneath him, dropping him into an endless, cold abyss.

Silence...

"Akutagawa!" Finally, Chuuya found him, rushing to his side and immediately beginning chest compressions.

"Akutagawa! Come on, come on buddy-!" Mouth to mouth. Becoming Akutagawas lungs for him. "Wake up-!" Chuuya growled through gritted teeth, pressing on his chest again.

One, two, three, four, fi-

A sharp gasp suddenly ripped from the black clad boys throat as he jolted back to life. Wheezing and grabbing at whatever was in reach in a flustered panic.

"There we go, c'mon, sit up. Easy, eeeeasy." Chuuya cooed, helping the boy to sit up straight as he wiped the streaks of Akutagawas vomit from his own mouth. "Deeeep breaths. In... And out..."

In a daze, Akutagawa coughed again, cringing in pain as he swallowed as much air as possible. He leaned against Chuuyas chest, feeling exhausted, like he'd been asleep for hours.

"Where... Am I?..."

"Hey, look at me." Chuuya gently held his chin, looking at his face, wiping the sweat and tears from his cheeks. "Can you hear me?... Aku?" He used his nickname, hoping the familiarity would help ground him better. The other blinked vaccantly in response, struggling to keep his head upright as it lulled to the side.

"...Dazai?"

"Not quite." Chuuya sighed, looking at Akutagawas blue fingertips, realising just how close they came to a true tragedy. He frowned, feeling Akutagawas forehead, making him blink as the movement startled him.

"Look what you've done, dumb ass. You're burning up now."

"M'fine..." Akutagawa wheezed, leaning into Chuuyas chest, too fatigued to support his own bodyweight. "I'm... Jus' tired... Where's home?" He slurred, closing his eyes as they burned, stinging from the tears.

Chuuya huffed, shifting Akutagawa so he could carry him piggyback. "You'd better not throw up on me... And from now on, whether you like it or not, you're carrying an inhaler."

"Mhm..." Akutagawa had no memory of what happened once he stepped out of the wear house and stayed in bed for the next few days, sleeping off the fatigue and pains he endured. Safe to say, he was fairly embarrassed that such a situation was so easily avoided if he had just remembered his inhaler.

There was one good thing that came from this event, Dazai popped in for a visit. And he brought figs.

----------------------{ END }------------------------

Thanks for reading!!

[inkwell-intrigues]

Writer's Log: Back to the Basics

(Time - 12:30AM) "Just about an hour ago, I posted what I'm guessing ended up being probably a very poorly written post announcing that I am going to be rewriting The Strength and The Sight.

Now, here I am, already scribbling out my first "writer's log".

I guess finally putting my rewriting announcement out there took a massive weight off of my shoulders. It's quite relieving and I find myself being able to think about Cuphead again without becoming anxious.

But, now here's the real hard part of what I've set out to do: Actually rewriting The Strength and The Sight.

It's both exhilarating and utterly terrifying. I get to start over, which sucks, but I get to do so with all of the knowledge I've gained along the way.

So, I guess it's time to kick off these writer's logs- which if you didn't know, are going to be me documenting my process of writing TSTS in a blog post-esc fashion.

Since we're starting from square one, I think it's time to go back to the basics and recreate/redefine a foundation that the entirety of my new version of TSTS will be built upon:

First and foremost, I need to define TSTS's main focus, or in other words, the core of the story. This is immensely important and the entire story will be meticulously crafted around said focus. (Note to myself: This time the focus will not be something that I end up changing multiple times as the story progresses. I'm glaring at my past self very accusingly right now.)

For today's log, I'm going to write out my raw/unfiltered thoughts as I go about developing TSTS's Main Focus.

To start, let me define what I mean by "Main Focus": For me, the main focus is an idea that serves as a foundation for a story. The main focus must be compelling, carry emotional weight, and be a reasonable idea to tell a story around.

(Additionally, the main plot, all of the subplots, side character's motivations, etc... must all point back to the main focus. This helps the story feel more cohesive.)

For instance: The main focus of Cuphead (the game) is the clash between Cuphead and the Devil. (If I was still in school, I'd say the main theme of this game is Good v.s. Evil.) Now, when I talk about the focus being a clash between Cuphead and the Devil, I don't necessarily mean the conflict of Cuphead losing his soul. While that definitely is a part of the main idea, I'd define that as the story's main conflict- not the main idea. The clash between the Devil and Cuphead is bigger than just the main conflict. Their differences span from the two characters' morals and their chosen friends to their in-game designs. Every aspect of the game's story/atmosphere/etc feeds back into the clashing comparison of Cuphead and the Devil. While Cuphead's home is warm, cozy, and safe, the Devil's is dangerous, malicious, etc. Cuphead's "right-hand man" is his brother: the lovable and cautious Mugman. Meanwhile, the Devil's right-hand man is the sleazy, scammy, and manipulative King Dice. When these two characters clash, the result is an emotional reaction from the player which serves as a motivation to keep them playing. The player should want to save Cuphead, to preserve his good and happy world in the face of evil. This reaction and subsequent emotional reaction is made possible because of the story's main focus and Studio MDHR's dedication to keeping said focus front and center.

I hope that my word vomit made sense, lol. Trying to write out my beliefs on storytelling is a LOT harder than I thought. XD

Now that I've hopefully defined my concept of a main focus, it's time for me to put this concept to the test by looking at it in the context of The Strength and The Sight. Luckily for me, when looking at the story the main focus became crystal clear to me:

TSTS's Main Focus is the Cup Trio: Cuphead, Mugman, and Ms. Chalice. More specifically, their unbreakable & incredibly deep familial love and care for each other.

Without the novel being grounded in the trio's sibling dynamic/love, we lose the story. So much of the angst and feeling in TSTS comes from the pain of these siblings being ripped apart and their determined attempts to be reunited once more.

Let's write it out and I'll try and show you what I mean:

First, let's look at the plot TSTS in the context of the focal point from Chalice's POV: Ms. Chalice, who's just found the family she never had in her new brothers, is suddenly pulled apart from Cuphead and Mugman. Once again, she's all alone and the Devil is to blame. (Now that I think about it, Chalice's POV ends up being a secret parallel to a reveal at the end of the 2nd Act of the novel. I won't say what, but MAN is it depressing.)

Now let's do the same exercise from Cuphead and Mugman's POV: Cuphead and Mugman have been unexpectedly (and violently) torn away from their happy and peaceful life and their big sister. Now trapped in a hostile new world, they must learn to survive. While they do have each other, the boys feel very lost without their big sister and role model: Chalice.

With this in mind, let's look at the main conflict: Cuphead and Mugman's kidnapping. (Minor spoilers...? Idk, it literally happens in the first chapter. xD) When the focus is on the torn-apart siblings and their desperate attempts to reunite, it makes the kidnapping somehow even more painful. Perfect for an angst writer like me. ;) Now, when writing my outline, I can use this focus as a lens for each chapter. Does it point back to this main idea? If it doesn't maybe it's time to rethink or rewrite it.

TLDR: The focus/core of TSTS is the Cup Trio and more specifically- their sibling bond/love. This dynamic drives the story forward and sets up the major conflict as well as the climax. ;)

So, that was it for my first writer's log!

Hopefully, you all liked it and/or found it interesting to read. I have no idea if they will all be like this, making these types of posts is entirely new to me, but it's nice to finally be making some content for you guys again- even if it isn't a new TSTS chapter.

I'll try and post these writer's logs semi-frequently. I'll have to see how much I feel motivated/inspired to do concerning TSTS over these next few weeks.

In any case, thank you guys for being so kind. I'm reading and will try and respond to every one of your kind comments + messages. I see them all and I'm reminded why I chose to write this in the first place. For you guys.

-- Your Friend, Ink"

[fencer-x]

HAPPY SASAMYUUTAI OPENING DAY!

I've just returned from the very first show, and now you people have to hear me shriek about it! I took copious notes, so sit back, relax, and let's crack open a cold one with these boys. There will of course be spoilers, so if you're waiting for the stream on the 31st to watch the show, then go on, git. Everyone else, behind the cut!

"How many people went?"

It's only opening day, so there will be more people at later shows (I was 8th row today, but I'll only be 15th row next Friday), but the theater was filled to about 50% capacity. It should be noted that more people will probably be attending shows that have after-talks with the cast, which this one did not, so it wasn't as 'in-demand'.

Before the actual show started, they had an announcement over the speakers to tell audience members the rules of the theater (normal stuff). This is often done by actors in character for musicals and plays based on anime and such, so this time it was Miyano delivering an announcement from the 'Disciplinary Committee' XDD He was interrupted about halfway through by Sasaki who was mostly there to distract and flirt.

The opening 'credits' where they introduced the cast were hella gorgeous. They overlaid this beautiful moving night-sky-scape over most of the set, and there was a kind of laser light show almost that was really intricately choreographed. I can't wait for the stream so everyone else can see it and hope it comes through. It was kinda breathtaking!

For the play itself, let's get one thing clear: they had to trim a LOT of fat. They shrank nearly 7 volumes down to just 2 hours of time, which is like half the anime. I was worried that was going to result in a rushed product that didn't have any of the heart of the original. However, while I won't say it was PERFECT, and it DID feel a bit rushed, it was still true to the original manga, I thought, and they did a great job of snipping and rearranging and revising scenes to allow a more rapid pace. Kudos to the scriptwriter!

Anyone who's read the manga knows that the first volume has a LOT of flashbacks and isn't really told in chronological order. The scriptwriter wisely said "fuck that" and told the story in order. So we start with the fight scene and then develop Sasaki and Miyano's relationship from there.

Sensei mentioned in the pamphlet interview that they had actually ADDED a few scenes from the manga that didn't make it into the anime, which was shocking to me considering how much they needed to shorten it, but they did indeed add a few scenes--even some ORIGINAL scenes. One of those scenes was a scene of Kuresawa and Miyano talking in the nurse's office after Miyano escorts Kuresawa away from the fight. It's here that Kuresawa mentions the reason for the fight (a scene we don't see until much later in the manga, and even then it's between Kuresawa and Sasaki). It was a nice little addition to help you understand that these two were already friends. The early minutes of the play have a fair bit of Miyano-Kuresawa-and Tashiro bonding scenes that reinforce their friendship for the audience.

Hanzawa is also introduced VERY early; we actually SEE him talking to Miyano a bit before he asks him to deliver the printouts to Hirano in chapter 3.

One way they increased the pace of the action, too, was to actually just…increase the pace of speaking. These boys' mouths were ROCKET SHIPS, and this was particularly amusing when Miyano went on his long and rambling rants XD his word vomit nearly became just that.

One thing that I found a little jarring, though, was the interspersing of monologue and dialogue. In the Live Reading events, we saw the lines that were meant to be in the characters' heads given a bit of echo-y reverb, which worked well. They tried it here too, to much less success IMHO. This was mostly because the lines were going so quickly and the switch between internal/external happening back and forth and back and forth. There were more than a few times I was like o_O before recalling "oh right that was supposed to be said in his head."

In the play, Sasaki reads the manga he first borrows from Miyano on the same day as he receives it, giving his thoughts on the manga he received in the morning later that afternoon. Miyano is shocked, since he EXPLICITLY told Sasaki not to read it in public, but Sasaki assures him he did it on the rooftop, where no one would see. I assume this was a change to avoid having to do scene changes and indications of time passing, and it worked nicely I thought. Sasaki sneaking off to read porn on the school rooftop seems likely XD

There was no Valentine's Day scene and no pocky scene, but we did get the cookies scene and Miyano explaining how he got into BL. And of course the BLEP made it in a-okay, fret not! Ogasawara's introduction was retained as well.

I also don't know HOW it wasn't fixed in rehearsals, since it must have been happening all the time, but these boys were dropping their cell phones left and right when they would bend over and it would slip from their pockets. Sasaki dropped his first and continued on with a scene, and then Miyano in another scene dropped his and it clattered OFF THE STAGE and into the audience and Kuresawa had to jump down into the audience seats to recover it lmao.

Some scenes had to be removed entirely or merged with others to streamline the show, and one of those was…Sports Day. Yes, the entire confession setting was changed lol. This wasn't SO bad actually; Sasaki confesses quietly on the train, Miyano quietly freaks out about it, and then we immediately segue to the next day where they're talking about a new manga (as at Sports Day), and Miyano is reflecting that WHEW they're acting normally and he had nothing to worry about and maybe he mishear--"I'm in love with you, Miyano."

The mask scene where Sasaki watches him sleep as well as the phone call were of course retained and were quite cute.

The next major scene is when Miyano learns he's been volunteered to do the drag pageant, and Hanzawa's laughter is quite creepy here. A+++ job to the actor. When they rope in Kuresawa to play backup to Miyano's entry, Hanzawa tries to get Tashiro to cross-dress as well…and actually wears him down. This leads to a scene that will likely be a daily ad-lib scene, where each show has a different bit of ad-libbing here. Hanzawa brings out a paper bag that he says has an outfit he's sure will look great on Tashiro. The thing is, I think the costume staff put things in there WITHOUT TELLING THE ACTORS WHAT IT IS, so they get surprised by the contents as well. Today, it was a pair of what looked like knock-off Minnie Mouse ears, complete with a bow.

Shortly after this scene, Kuresawa tries on his schoolgirl outfit and makes his appearance as 'Tasuko'. When he swans out on stage, he asks a random audience member in the front row if he looks good. When she inevitably says he does, he apologizes and says he has a girlfriend already.

It's around here that a few scenes get rolled together. There are two separate scenes of Miyano trying on his pageant outfit in the manga: chapter 22 and chapter 23. These are combined into a single scene, with Hanzawa giving the talk to Miyano from Chapter 22 rolling right into him getting called away and Sasaki finding Miyano in Chapter 23, even though in canon these seem to take place on separate days.

We then move into the cultural festival itself. At one point, Tashiro, Miyano, and Kuresawa run around looking at all the booths. Tashiro spots one waaaay in the back, and they squint to read it: "Sasaki and Miyano…is getting…a movie!" XDDD cue clapping from the audience for anyone who managed to miss the announcement before.

At the Badboy Fortune-telling Cafe this time, we actually get Ogasawara in addition to Sasaki and Hirano. Unfortunately for Sasaki, this means he gets chewed out from both sides about not looking rough enough around Miyano. They drag him to the side to do a My Fair Lady (My Bad Boy?) on him in another segment that will probably be ad-libbed daily.

In today's scene, Ogasawara tells Sasaki to deliver a one-liner from a 'badboy with two completely different sides to him' (kind of like the trope of the badboy who adopts a kitten), and Sasaki comes up with: "Yo bitch, can't believe you kept me waitin' for our date, but gosh your makeup looks absolutely divine."

After this, Ogasawara drags Tashiro away for a 'Become a Badboy' experience, which Tashiro is absolutely stoked for XD "Become a badboy in body and soul!"

At the drag pageant, we finally see Miyano all dolled up and…I'm sorry XD;;;; to Miyano's absolute delight I'm sure, he doesn't look ANYTHING like a girl, let alone a beautiful one lmao. They tried! But they failed.

A new scene is added among the four third-years as they reflect on this being their last cultural festival together ;;;;; and then when they decide to go watch the fireworks together…Sasaki of course peaces out to go be with Miyano, much to Ogasawara's irritation, who must be bodily dragged away by wingmen Hirano and Hanzawa.

The fireworks in the fireworks scene were tbh a little underwhelming, because I expected them to do more effects like they had in the opening, but otherwise it was just lovely. They REALLY paid loving homage to sensei's hand fetish. We are being fed well.

One scene I was DELIGHTED to see newly added was…the New Year's extra! Yes, to streamline things and/or give more of the cast time to shine, they switched the movie date for this scene. I definitely didn't mind, as it's a scene we didn't get to see in the anime (and they stuck fairly close to it), and also we got to see more of Miyano's KagiHira brainrot when Hirano showed up with Sasaki rather than his roommate on his arm.

But it wasn't just them showing up…Hanzawa showed up too--WITH HIS BROTHER. Yup, Masaomi is actually in the play for a couple of different scenes with quite a few lines! HANZAWA MASAOMI, WHO WAS NOT EVEN MENTIONED IN THE PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL FOR THIS PLAY, HAD MORE 'SCREENTIME' THAN KAGIURA AKIRA IN THE ENTIRE ANIME. The Kagi-kun erasure is real.

It's during this new year's scene that Miyano realizes his feelings and decides to confess, so we quickly segue into the next bit with all the near-misses of Miyano trying to corner Sasaki and failing. The almost-kiss in the stairwell was done really well and seemed natural. After Sasaki runs away and Miyano reaffirms his own feelings for Sasaki, we even get some shoujo doritos like in the anime. Throwback!

The kiss scene was….something. In a very good way. Of course, the actors weren't actually going to kiss, so if you're hoping for that, get outta here lol. Even without Covid, I doubt they would have had actual lip-locking. You don't usually see that here, even for actual BL plays. So I was wondering how they were going to hide it. They did it really tastefully, angling their bodies so you couldn't see their actual faces but they were clearly still 'kissing'. One thing I REALLY liked, though, was that while in the manga, Miyano keeps his bag on his shoulder when they kiss, here--perhaps because of bodily logistics, maybe it kept sliding off--they have Sasaki take the bag from his shoulder for him when he steps in for a kiss. And he just does it…so slowly…and carefully, peeling it off of Miyano and gently setting it down before cupping his cheek. It got me. That's some good shit right there.

And that, friends, is the "Sasaki and Miyano" stage play! It was a fantastic show, and I can't wait to go again (I'll be back at it Friday!). As a reminder, the final two shows will be livestreamed on the interwebs, so everyone will be able to see it in living color next Sunday Japan time (Saturday 11 PM EST and Sunday 3 AM EST). Details like cost and how to watch haven't been announced yet, but I'll definitely post them here.

Hope this was somewhat coherent!

[feelingsick]

What about one where Sunny feels so depressed and horrible, thinking he's a screw up and that he's a bad guy, that when he gets sick he doesn't tell anyone? He hides it because he doesn't think he's worth it. And I'm talking bad sick! Like, they didn't know he was sick until he's like half dead. Like, high fever, like... Hospital high, profuse vomiting, delirium, hallucinations, and probably some nightmares? Y'know, all the good stuff XD

((Written with @sicklyfeels))

It was a mistake, and Sunny knew it.

He’d been clean for months now, ever since he’d overdosed and ended up in a residential rehab program. It had been hard – so fucking hard – but he’d been managing. And all it took was a dream about his family for him to lose his hold on sobriety.

Matti worked during the day, so it wasn’t difficult for Sunny to slip out while he was gone. He wanted a drink, and since there was no alcohol in the house, his only option was to go to a bar. He hated himself for it. The entire bus ride, he kept telling himself that he could stop, that he could just turn around and go back home.

But he didn’t.

Falling off the wagon, that’s what they called it. And right now Sunny absolutely felt himself falling. Deep down, he knew it wasn’t worth it to throw away everything he’d worked so hard for, but even that wasn’t enough to get him to turn back.

Sunny walked into the bar in a daze and ordered a drink, self-loathing peaking with every single swallow. It felt better than he’d expected, after being sober for so long. He let the numbness wash over him, holding onto the feeling the entire bus ride back to Matti’s place.

He barely made it off the bus before he started puking.

Sunny cursed himself, remembering all the warnings about drinking while taking methadone. It served him right, he supposed. A small punishment for betraying his boyfriend’s trust.

Once he felt a little steadier, Sunny walked the rest of the way back to Matti’s place. When he got inside, he changed his clothes and brushed his teeth. It might have been overkill, but part of him was convinced that Matti would be able to tell otherwise.

He glanced at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, taking in his sallow complexion and the dark circles beneath his eyes. Not for the first time, Sunny found himself wondering what Matti possibly saw in him.

He splashed some water on his face, trying to make himself look more alive, before shuffling out to the living room. He flopped down on the couch and turned on the tv, hoping to ride out the remaining nausea.

Unfortunately, by the time Matti returned home the nausea hadn’t gone anywhere. Still, Sunny forced himself to sit up, trying to muster a smile as Matti came inside.

“Hey,” Matti greeted, holding up a plastic bag. “I figured you probably hadn’t eaten yet, so I grabbed some food for us.”

Even the thought of eating made Sunny’s stomach turn. Damn methadone.

“I actually already ate,” Sunny lied, doing his best to look disappointed.

“Oh? I’ll put it in the fridge for you, then. You can just heat it up when you’re hungry,” Matti said cheerfully, going to the kitchen to do just that.

Sunny let out a breath, rubbing a hand over his face. He was feeling worse with every passing second, and as much as he wanted to spend time with his boyfriend, he didn’t want to risk Matti finding out that he’d gone drinking.  Maybe he could call it a night and head to bed, try to sleep this off. But if anything, that would raise more suspicion.  

A hiccup suddenly lodged itself in his chest, the rest of his stomach contents threatening to come up behind it. He swallowed, bringing a hand up to his lips.

“Matti?” he called, swallowing again when his voice came out sounding thick, “I’m gonna grab a quick shower, okay?”

Without waiting for an answer, Sunny bolted upstairs, nearly slamming the door shut behind him. He turned on the shower to drown out any sound before kneeling down in front of the toilet. A sharp retch tore itself up from his stomach, his back arching as a gush of bile splashed into the water below. More followed, each heave feeling like his stomach was being twisted into knots.

This is your fault, his brain hissed. You did this to yourself.

Sunny spat into the toilet, pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes. He couldn’t let Matti find out what he’d done. Not after everything that had happened.

It took a long time for his stomach to settle enough for him to feel confident in moving away from the toilet. He moved to the shower, his legs shaking too badly for him to even be able to stand. Even after he sat, letting the water cascade over his back, his stomach still churned. Twice he burped up a small trickle of bile, watching listlessly as it ran down the drain.

He was at least throwing up less, which could only mean he was getting better. The alcohol had to be out of his system by now.

A knock at the door made him jump.

“Hey,” Matti called, “I’m gonna head to bed, alright?”

Sunny cleared his throat. “Yeah, alright.”

He let out a small sigh of relief once Matti’d walked away. He could do this. He could hide everything, and it’d be like it never happened.

It took him a long time to be able to coax himself from the shower, and longer still to dry himself and pull on a pair of pajama pants and a tshirt. Every movement felt slow, his limbs leaden and clumsy. It was a relief to finally make it to the bedroom.

Matti was already asleep as Sunny climbed into bed. He was passed out almost before his head hit the pillow.

A minute later, he felt hands on his face, cold and insistent.

He heard Matti’s deep voice, but at first he couldn’t understand what he was saying. He tried to tune in, barely catching Matti’s panicked, “Sunny, baby! Please, wake up!” Then, Matti shook him by the shoulders, coaxing him to blink open his eyes.

He must have been asleep for longer than a minute, because sunlight spilled through the windows. Above him, Matti’s face was pale, his expression terrified, and Sunny couldn’t figure out why.

Then, it hit him. Matti knew. He knew what Sunny had done, knew that he’d gone out drinking.

“I didn’t mean to,” Sunny said, his voice coming out weak. “I’m sorry, it was a mistake.”

“You’re burning up, Sunny,” Matti said. “What do you mean, it was a mistake? What happened? Did…Did you use again?” he asked, looking pained that he had to bring up that question. “Is that why you’re sick?”

“Methadone,” Sunny mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open. “Was just one drink…”

“A drink…?” Matti stared at Sunny, then shook his head. “Sunny…a drink with your medicine might make you sick, but not like this. You’ve got a fever through the roof.” Carefully, Matti slipped his arms under Sunny, easily lifting him from the bed. “I’m taking you to the hospital right now.”

Sunny’s entire body stiffened at those words.

Your fault,” his brain whispered.

“No,” Sunny whimpered, struggling weakly in Matti’s arms. “I don’t want to go back.”

“Not the rehab hospital, baby,” Matti promised. “The ER. We have to get you to a doctor.”

“I won’t do it again,” Sunny begged, his chest hitching as he sobbed. “I promise.”

Matti was fighting back tears, too, but he kept moving. Sunny was too weak to fight him as he was carried out to Matti’s car. The whole time he kept whimpering that he was sorry, that he’d do better, that he’d do anything if it meant not going back to the hospital.

Nothing he said seemed to make a difference. Matti opened the car door and laid Sunny out across the back seat, brushing a hand across Sunny’s forehead.

“Just take it easy,” he said gently, blinking hard like there was something in his eyes. “It’s okay. I promise everything’s going to be okay.”

Sunny wanted to keep fighting, but he could barely hold his head up. He listened as Matti climbed into the driver’s seat and started the car. As they pulled away, he let the low rumbling of the engine lull him back into unconsciousness.

[thenexusofsouls]

Carter blinked and jerked her head back in surprise when her father started to yell - her brows furrowing slightly as she raised them. This... couldn't be good.

She stayed silent as he collected himself and began again, but tensed the moment he brought up Pietro. Her eyes narrowed, and she bit her tongue to keep from interrupting him, but... Her swell of defensiveness quickly turned into visible confusion, and she just stared. The hell?

"Yeah, actually, he- he did--" she began, her tone puzzled as she crossed her arms over her chest loosely, but quickly cut herself off as it quickly clicked together. Wait. Wait, wait, wait. His--

With a groan, Carter rubbed her eyes - covering her face with the same hand as her cheeks burned. Jesus Christ, did her father think she was pregnant? "If I'm- I'm understanding this correctly," she said slowly, "you think Pietro... what, knocked me- me up?" Oh, she actually hated talking about this-- "First of- of all, no. That's not-- No! Second of all, what the- the fuck brought this on? I'm- I'm not pregnant! Not unless I'm somehow the- the next virgin Mary!"

God, she absolutely didn't expect her day turn to her talking about her goddamn sex life, or... lack thereof, really, to her father.

((I'm dying rn oh my god xD

Tony was immediately confused, and then mortified. "Wait, you're... not pregnant? He did take you to dinner?” Well clearly, he had overreacted. That and he’d gotten some wholly incorrect information. Jerk mode deactivated, engage foot-in-mouth mode... “Uh... Well that was... very nice of him...” Tony said awkwardly, not sure where to go from here. “You’re still a virgin?” he blurted out in that hopeful yet uncomfortable way fathers do when they’re happy to hear that Pandora’s box hasn’t been opened yet but still feel like it’s too much information. “Sorry, that’s... I so don’t need to know that,” he said, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

“Um. Okay, let’s back up a bit. I may... or may not... but mostly may... have... been told that you were pregnant. And... that came as an understandable shock given that, to my knowledge, you haven’t been dating that long.” He blinked. “And also because it’s Pietro.” He cleared his throat and instantly wanted a drink but settled for slipping his hands into his pockets so he didn’t flail from sheer mortification. “I’m sorry. I overreacted.” Understatement of the year. 

As he often did with Carter, Tony attempted to push past his own crap and say what really mattered. If there was anyone in the world it was most important to do that with, it was his own daughter. “I just... felt... a bit protective, that’s all. Because it really hasn’t been that long and he shouldn’t be-... it’s not respectful to just-... I didn’t know if he-...” Spit it out! “I didn’t want him to do to you what... I did... to... a lot of women... in my past.” Smooth. “Not... that I... I didn’t get them pregnant, but I-I did... rush into things... without proper care, and um... well, I guess yeah, with your mother... I did... get her pregnant...”

He took a deep breath and let that catastrophic amount of poorly-phrased word vomit take effect. “Wow, that was the wrong way to say all of that, but the sentiment is there nonetheless,” he eventually said, deciding to shut up and take the verbal backlash that was probably to follow...