#Honestly probably: Jason: I'd kill everybody (especially Ra's and maybe the Joker again for good measure)

[jaybren]

My favorite version of the later Jason and Tim relationship is the overprotective big brother Jason who is utterly furious that everyone is sleeping on the amazingly self-sacrificing idiot genius that Tim is.

Tim: ...so that's how I ended up in Bludhaven with a fake uncle.

Jason: ...

Tim: What?

Jason: Let me make sure I'm understanding this correctly before I respond. Your dad was murdered. Your stepmom, who never adopted you, was in a mental hospital. Dick was awol. Cass was still basically a baby as well and was finding herself. B was avoiding you because he felt guilty about getting your dad murdered.

Tim: He didn't-

Jason *speaking over him forcefully*: Then you dropped out of school, so no one could possibly miss you while you lived with a man who was a complete stranger to you and who knew you had money and no adults worth a damn in your life.

Jason *takes deep breath*: Why the fuck would you do that?!

Tim: Well, at first I wasn't sure what was going to happen to me and Batman needs Robin, but we also both needed some space to grieve. I had to make sure I was still available to Bruce while also leaving us some breathing room. Plus, Dick was out of town, so Bludhaven needed a vigilante anyway.

Jason: Okay, ignoring the twenty other things wrong with that statement, did it never occur to you that Bruce could just adopt you?

Tim: Well, Yeah. But he'd just adopted Dick, which was a really big deal for him, emotionally, you know? I was worried he'd feel bad if Bruce turned around and adopted me.

Jason: You were worried Dick would feel bad if Bruce adopted you when you had literally no one else?

Tim: Yeah. I was used to being alone anyway and you know how he can get when it comes to Bruce.

Jason: So you decided to move in with a strange man who was down on his luck and might, oh, I don't know, murder the weird, wealthy child whose bank account he had access to?!

Tim: I paid him. I never gave him direct access to my bank account.

Jason: Oh, well that makes everything fine then. He'd just have to force you to hand over more cash. Or hold you hostage against Bruce. Or blackmail you to keep you as his baby sugar daddy.

Tim: I set up everything about his fake identity so he couldn't try to blackmail me without looking really sketchy himself and he never knew about Robin, so what would he blackmail me with anyway?

Jason: How about telling Bruce what you did, since the charade was obviously mostly for him?

Tim: Then he'd risk losing everything while I moved in with Bruce. Nothing he could do against me would gain him anything, so what was the worst that could happen?

Jason: He could have murdered you in your sleep! He could've jumped you while you were vulnerable! He could've threaten to report you to a truancy officer if you didn't do something he wanted! He could've drugged you and sold you to traffickers! Fuck, I don't want to keep thinking about all the horrible things that could've happened to your idiotic baby past self. So let me just reiterate the important question: What the fuck were you thinking?!

Tim: Why does every funny story I tell you end up with you freaking out and yelling at me?

Jason: Because every story you think is a funny childhood anecdote is actually a fucking terrifying misadventure that you just somehow survived!