#Hob: idk she was looking like she'd forgotten that fact since last time
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Hob is going to come home one day two months into Dream's retirement (and seven weeks into their marriage) and Dream's going to be full Victorian maiden on the chaise lounge, arm covering his eyes.
Hob, who is not a fool: Want to talk about it, or want to be consumed by the agonies for a little while longer while I prepare dinner? You got groceries, right?
Dream: [horrible groaning dirge of assent]
Hob: I'm starting to get a little concerned, dearest
Dream: I went out to. Obtain groceries. And the woman at the till said 'enjoy your food'.
Hob: And you said?
Dream: "My thanks. you as well."
Hob: My poor love. Have a kiss to ease the sting.
Dream: [accepting the forehead kiss as his due] I can't go back to that grocery store in this lifetime.
Hob: Understandable.
Dream: Can we fake our deaths tomorrow?
Hob: Give me two weeks to wrap everything up, then we can.
Dream: <3
#dreamling#you can take the dream out of Dream but you can't take the dramatics#he's going to be horrified to realize that sometimes humans just replay their worst/embarrassing moments in their heads on loop at 3am#instead of sleeping#dream didn't suddenly gain social skills when he became an immortal human#he just lost the ability to will himself away in a cloud of sand#poor dream just wants humanity to be petting cats and fucking his husband#and instead it's Failing To Small Talk Correctly#and everybody everywhere immediately sensing he has No Chill Except On Rare Occasions#even getting drunk off his mind to forget that just results in hangovers the next day#but the bit where Hob is constantly demanding them to take lovey dovey selfies for his phone backgrounds is nice#and Hob will mention my husband in all conversations just because he's so pleased they're married#Hob. Marjorie knows we're married already. It is unnecessary to introduce me as your husband still.#Hob: idk she was looking like she'd forgotten that fact since last time
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