#Help I've fallen into Good Omens and I can't get out

[melbatron5000]

Reality is . . . off

Here's me, screaming into the void. I've got no theory, only Clues.

Reality seems to be acting strangely in Season 2 of Good Omens. Mostly around Aziraphale. My examples:

This season seems to be from Aziraphale's point of view, and all the colors and lighting seem to be very bright and vibrant.

The note from Maggie -- another post on Tumblr (damned if I can find it now) pointed out that she puts her phone down right as Aziraphale comes into her shop for the first time. She seems to be texting him, but the text message arrives to his door as a note in the mail slot because that's how he expects to receive correspondences.

Changing the Bentley into Our Car -- and in the flashback to 1941 that happens after the trip to Edinburgh in the show, the Bently is still a four-door. He changed it and then made it so it always was that way. (There's a line in the book about someone being powerful enough to change something and then make it so it always was that way -- something that's repeated about the Book of Life, too. Hmm . . .) No wonder Crowley just opens up the back door to put his plants in, it's always had a back door at that point! And please don't @ me with the Bently is not a Clue -- the change happens right in scene, on screen. That was not a "they hoped no one would notice" moment. And yes, I know they weren't able to use Mary for the second season. They got a reasonable look-alike, and then changed that car into a four-door. For why??

The Bentley following him when he parks it. People have said, "Oh, yes, the Bentley is sentient, of course!" But it hasn't done anything to show that until after Aziraphale drives it. And don't @ me with the Queen -- the gag in the book says that any album left in a car for more than a fortnight transmogrifies into The Best of Queen. It's not the Bentley doing that, it's just a fact of Queen. (Can confirm.)

Aziraphale is terrible at magic. But somehow, when he really needs to make a trick work, he does it. Oh, yeah, babe? You just put that photo right up your sleeve slick as that? Hm.

That 25 Lazarii miracle. Neither of them expected that. Yet there it was.

The whole ball. He wasn't casting miracles, reality was just -- conforming itself to what he wanted.

Now my point is . . . I don't know. My observation is that reality seems to be following Aziraphale's wishes, and I don't think he even realizes that it shouldn't be. Not entirely. Or is it that he knows reality is re-shaping itself around him, and he's enjoying it?

Reality is not warping around Crowley in the same way, and Crowley seems to be able to feel something's wrong. Coming in waves, like a hangover.

Now, I have heard it said that Neil has also pointed out that our angel and demon warp reality just by existing. Okay, actually makes sense. How could an occult and celestial being not mess with reality without even realizing they're doing it?

Am I chewing on a nothing burger?

Is Aziraphale turned up somehow?

What is going on.

[winter-turtle]

I have just finished season 2 of Good Omens

I'm commiting toaster bath🥲

[cheeekycharchar]

The Forbidden Fruit, Choices and Fear

[A GOOD OMENS META ANALYSIS OF AZIRAPHALE POST S2] I know everyone is still upset about that gut punch of an ending to GO S2.. and many are also extra upset at Aziraphale.. I'm in so much pain over it too but.. I have to rationalize that damned "I forgive you" line that broke all our hearts to comfort me until we get S3.. I basically overanalyze our favorite cocoa loving Angel to explain his reaction to the kiss and why we all need to be a lil kinder to him.

2500 BC in the Land of Uz.. Aziraphale, the Angel of the Eastern Gate, had the fear of God put into him. And this affected the rest of his immortal life up until that kiss.

Angels, after the Fall and the great war between Heaven and Hell, had the fear of the Almighty's wrath put into them. They all fell in line and stayed in line. Or else they'd end up like their fallen brethren.. or worse. But there was one lil Angel that had since toed that line..

"Didn't you have a flaming sword? Yeah, it was flaming like anything." "…Gaveitaway.." "You what?" "I gave it away!" As far as we've seen, this is the first time Aziraphale did something "bad". And he's already feeling the pressure. The guilt. The fear. He didn't follow the rules. He didn't do exactly as he was told. And suddenly, here's a Demon slithering up next to him and making him doubt his choice even more. The same Demon that snuck past the guardians of Eden and tempted the first human's into eating the apple, breaking the rules and getting them kicked out of paradise on Earth.

"Bit of an over reaction if you ask me. First offence and everything. I can't see what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway. "Well, it must be bad.. [..] Otherwise.. you wouldn't have tempted them into it." "Not very subtle of the Almighty, though. Fruit tree in the middle of a garden with a 'Don't Touch' sign. Makes you wonder what God's really planning." "Best not to speculate. It's all part of the Great Plan. It's not for us to understand. It's ineffable. It is beyond understand and incapable of being put into words."

Already the seeds of doubt are tinkering in his mind. Stay in line. No more questioning the Almighty's plans. That's what got all the bad Angels thrown out of Heaven and then Adam and Eve exiled too.

"I do hope I didn't do the wrong thing." "Oh, you're an angel. I don't think you can do the wrong thing." "Oh, thank you. It's been bothering me." "I've been worrying, too. What if I did the right thing with the whole 'eat the apple' business? A demon can get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing. It'd be funny if we both got it wrong, eh? If I did the good thing and you did the bad one." *chuckles* "..No. It wouldn't be funny at all!"

And then we get to season two's opening reveal. Crowley and Aziraphale had actually met before the wall of Eden.

"But that's idiocy!" {…} "It's not our job to advise the Almighty on the details of creation." "Well, then whose job is it?" {…} "Well, if I was the one running it all, I'd like it if someone asked questions. Fresh point of view."

And thanks to Aziraphale mentioning the Great Plan to Angel Crowley.. it put seeds of doubt into his mind. Making him question the Almighty's plans.

".. I'd hate to see you getting into any trouble." "Thanks for your help. And thanks for your advice. I wouldn't worry though. How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions?"

And then 10 million Angels fell. Kicked out of Heaven and marked as evil, unforgivable, and without God's love for eternity. Then we get the flashback to the story of a a prosperous man of outstanding piety named Job and how his life was destroyed because of a bet between God and Satan to test his faith even in adversity.

"What did he [Job] do? "Job? Nothing. Job's the nicest man in the world. That's why he's so perfect for the bet. You see, God was saying how righteous Job was and how much Job loved God. And Satan pointed out-- that maybe that was just 'cause God's been so nice to him. ..God's letting Satan destroy everything Job has. And then we'll see."

Now remember, the great flood wasn't too long ago. Where the Almighty wiped out nearly all of the human race with a big storm cause they were tetchy aka simply irritable, bad-tempered and annoyed. So this time, Aziraphale actually questions Heaven about this bet when he finds out that Job's children will be killed.

"Trust in God's plan, Aziraphale. Always." "Of course. So, once Job's trials are over, everything is restored to him?" "Even better than that. God will reward him with twice as much as he had before." {…} "I think they quite like the old ones [Job's children].. And if.. we kill them-" "-Aziraphale… we are the good guys. We're not killing anyone. What we are doing is simply not stopping hell. What they do is up to them."

His faith is wavering. He can hardly believe that Heaven would actually destroy a good man's family without truly understanding the fragility and consequences of human life/death; all to test him on a bet.

"Are we sure that Sitis wants to give birth four more times?"

Furthermore, they would be forcing Job's wife to give birth 7 more times despite Aziraphale's warning of them loving their original 3 children and that Sitis may not actually want to give birth to more children at her age. Hence taking away her choice. But thankfully, good ol' Crowley is the worst demon ever and is secretly protecting Job's children and goats. Something they're keeping between the two of them. And then during this deception… Crowley tempts Aziraphale with his first bite of food.

"Have an ox rib." "Are you trying to tempt me?" "Not at all. Angels can't be tempted, can you?" "Certainly not." "Well, there you are then. You're free to try the food."

A temptation he quickly falls into. A choice to eat the food and enjoy it to gluttony. Another sin under his belt. In the end, Virtuous Job passed his test but had the shit reward in return. Except Crowley and Aziraphale secretly saved the children.. which lead to Aziraphale lying straight to Heaven.. again.

And this is where he finally falls apart.

"I'm ready to go." "Go where?" "To Hell." {….} "But you have to. I'm like you now.. A demon.." "You think you're a demon?" "I'm a fallen angel! I lied.. To thwart the will of God." "Well yeah, you did, but I'm not gonna tell anybody. ..Are you?" *shakes head no* "No. Then nothing has to change, does it?" "…But what am I?" "You're just an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can." "That sounds um.." "Lonely?" "Yeah. But you said it wasn't." "I'm a demon. I lied."

As Crowley always tells him- Demons lie. And Aziraphale lied. Again. And now they're keeping this huge secret between the two of them. To never be spoken of or else possibly face the wrath of God. THIS scene right in this minisode here is SUCH an important part of Aziraphale's character and his future choices. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? Choices? The ability to choose between good and evil.

"Look, I am good. You, I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice. You know, they cannot be truly holy unless they also get the opportunity to be wicked." "Yeah, that only works if you start everyone off equal. You can't start someone off like that and expect her to do as well as someone born in a castle." "Ah, but no, no. That's the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have."

What we learn from this wee Scottish body snatching story is that something can be seen as evil but could actually be a good deed from a different perspective. And that Aziraphale truly believed that the lower you start, the more opportunities you could have. But he also believes in divine punishment. Punishment that can be dealt at any time for any thing. Big or small. From a few questions that make you lose God's love to selling corpses for survival money and accidentally getting your best friend killed or just having too much faith in God could destroy everything in your life for a bet. All of which he has witnessed with someone good (Crowley, Job, Elspeth, etc) losing everything that's important to them in the most horribly way. But Aziraphale remembers the hard lessons he learned; of inequality and responsibility of your actions and the choices you make.

Someone born into poverty doesn't get as much out of life as someone born into a rich lifestyle. Or.. a lowly snake and a lowly principality falling in love and being forgiven may not be as easily dismissed as a Duke of Hell and Archangel finding love in one another and simply being allowed to run away to the stars together without any punishment. It's all of these moments, these lessons that Aziraphale learns throughout the years that change his view on life but he still remembers the wrath of God throughout existence. Something as little as a question could get you kicked out of Heaven, eating an apple could get you banished from paradise or you could be the most faithful perfect and loved person and still have your entire life destroyed over a bet. What does he know most about the Almighty? They're "tetchy" and unpredictable.

"Aziraphale, Angel of the Eastern Gate. Where is the flaming sword I gave you, Aziraphale, to guard the Gate of Eden?"

He then conceals the truth to God themselves of the choice he made to give humanity a fighting chance of survival by giving his holy sword away. And is left alone without another word. Forced to walk on egg shells for the rest of his existence out of fear.

"So, giving the mortals a flaming sword. How did that work out for you?" "The Almighty has never actually mentioned it again.." "Probably a good thing."

That fear of the unknown consequences to his past actions.. his lies.. for good or for bad.. he could fall at any moment or lose everything he holds precious (aka his Angel-ness and Crowley).

"I'm not an idiot, Crowley. Do you know what trouble I'd be in if.. if they knew I'd been fraternizing? It's completely out of the question." "Fraternizing?!" "Well, whatever you wish to call it. I do not think there is any point in discussing it further."

So what does he always do? Deflects.. to protect himself. To protect Crowley. Not saying the real truth out loud. Keeping the reality of their relationship an unsaid secret like always.

But sometimes, actions speak louder than words.

"Should I say thank you?" "Better not."

Yet again, he breaks the rules. Doesn't even want to hear a thank you. Again, it must all go unsaid.

"You go too fast for me."

Crowley has always been one step ahead of him. Asking questions, falling, breaking the rules, etc. Aziraphale isn't ready yet. He's not ready to lose everything he holds dear to him by admitting out loud all of his sinful choices or else face the punishment he's been fearing for thousands of years.

"Go off together?" "How long have we been friends? Six thousand years."

Aziraphale starts panicking here. Crowley is saying too much out loud. Deny deny deny.

"Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you."

This bandstand breakup was literally Aziraphale freaking out about doing too many bad things dealing with the whole anti-Christ situation and Crowley getting too close to saying what they truly are to each other. But the fear is too much and he lies again. But this time to himself. Aziraphale has only ever wanted to do the good thing. To make the correct choices. To be on the right side. But he's always faltered. Made choices that he was sure were the bad ones. Lied on occasion. Kept secrets from Heaven and God. Given into temptations. And has always had this fear of God's Almighty wrath hanging over his head for millennia. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. At any moment, everything will be taken away. But what could be the last straw? The straw that finally breaks the camel's back? To garner God's attention and punishment. It has to be something big. The biggest and most important part of his life. Something that matters to him more than anything in the world. His relationship with the Demon, Crowley. But he's learned. If you don't say it out loud.. if you keep it to yourself. Then you won't be punished. It's worked out for him so far. So why should he think otherwise? And then in the end of S2E6, Metatron gives him the opportunity to make a change to the Heavenly system. His chance to restore his best friend to his former holy glory. A chance to relieve all the suffering he's seen throughout history. A chance to make a difference. Despite all his secret sins, he's being given an unbelievable opportunity- one that proves that maybe he isn't as bad as he always thought he was. He's actually seen as worthy. But then Crowley gets angry about all this. He's against it all. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be an Angel again. He doesn't want to return to Heaven. He just wants to be with Aziraphale. And he finally says their best kept, unsaid secret out loud. With a love confession and a passionate kiss.

"You idiot. We could have been… us."

Aziraphale wants this more than anything but every instinct inside of him is screaming to stop it, to not let anyone see, to not let anyone know the truth. This final temptation. His one and true forbidden fruit that is the Demon Crowley.. and it's the one he knows he must resist at all costs.

The fear is overpowering. And the only words that come from his lips…

"I forgive you."

I forgive you for letting our unsaid secret out. I forgive you for trying to tempt me. I forgive you for refusing to join me in Heaven as a renewed Angel. But can he ever truly forgive himself for the choice he just made? Remember, in the end, Aziraphale is just afraid. Afraid to lose everything. Afraid to lose Crowley. Fear of punishment can be traumatizing after all. And it will all be fixed in S3. ;) HAVE FAITH IN GAIMAN!

..Sorry this was so long and drawn out but… I NEED SEASON 3 ALREADY.. (everyone! keep re-watching GO2 on Prime! and no more threats to the creators plz ^-^) Honestly, this was very cathartic to write and help me come to terms with the most heart wrenching painful TV kiss of all time D: But I need to see how their story unfolds. I need to see Aziraphale allow himself to make the choice to be with Crowley without fear of punishment. I NEED MY INEFFIBLE HUSBANDS. TOGETHER. T^T

PS. Literally as I was finishing writing this, I saw Neil Gaiman himself say this on his Tumblr, "But the story of Job is pretty central to the whole Good Omens conversation, including Aziraphale's bit of it." OMG I KNEW IT lololol

[beps-brainrot]

Any good fanfics you read recently? Can be just Sun & Moon, or SAMS related. Just braindump about some works so that I can dash and read them plz

Your art is gorgeous btw just thought I’d let u know

Ahh thank you, thank you! That's so nice of you to say, and I really appreciate it<3 Unfortunately, I haven't read many DCA fics, and even more unfortunate than that is I haven't been keeping up with the ones that I'm in the middle of. I'm also wanting to read more fics, so if anyone has any that they want to share about, please feel free to! Still, I'll take the opportunity to ramble a bit.

The most recent fics I've read: Missions Under the Sun by the wonderful and thorough @chaotikanvas. This is a fic based on @lavenoon's Accidentally Undercover AU, and it's such a satisfying read. You get to follow Sun's point of view as he finds himself in the frustrating predicament of being in love with you, his coworker, which he can't breach many boundaries with due to the nature of your jobs. It's such a perfect fic of pining with a capital P that portrays Sun's thoughts and feelings in an indescribably real way. Even if you aren't familiar with Lavenoon's story, this fic is still easy to understand and enjoy. And! As I understand it, Lavenoon has many things to read up on too. If Kanvas' piece is any indication, their stories are captivating and well worth a check out.

Thread Carefully also by Chaotikanvas. This is a red string of fate AU where fate has decided to screw over the poor reader. Basically, the reader has a form of automatonophobia, the fear of animatronics, and is tied to the DCA by the red string of fate. Neither parties can stray too far away from each other without the red string preventing them from leaving. This sets up the exploration of an interesting dynamic between the Attendants and the reader as they have to make do with their new and permanent(?) situation. The way the reader's deep distress and anxiety is portrayed is perfect as Kanvas has an excellent way of detailing a character's introspection. Right now, only one chapter is available, but in my opinion it's enough to hook you and get you invested in what's to come.

Fics I've fallen behind on and am sure you know about: Holler If You Need Us by the incredible @castercassette. It's the wild west, and Sun and Moon are outlaws who run circles around you, the Sheriff. What more could you want? You don't know you need it until you see it, and my love for Caster's work can never be fully expressed.

Solar Lunacy by the imaginative @bamsara. The favorite slow burn with a compelling story! Need I say more about it?

Celestial Omens also by Bamsara. "Get a boat," they said. "It'll be fun," they said.

Twin Animatronics With Too Much Time On Their Hands by the awesome @twinanimatronics. The longest 24 hours you'll ever experience. A very hurty hurt/comfort fic that's eventually greatly rewarding.

Lofi Beats to Capture Children to by the brilliant and meticulous @dana-chan-the-control-brain. Sun and Moon's turbulent relationship in this can be quite upsetting especially if you're like me, someone who only desires fluff and wholesomeness for the boys. However, Dana's characters and intricately woven story are so good that simply reading it is its own reward.

I Can't Handle it also by Dana-chan. A spin off fic about Dana's OC from Lofi and Twin Animatronics, Ted, otherwise known as Dadler. He is my favorite wet sandwich of a person. I can't help but resonate with his deep self-loathing and melancholy. I miss him. I seriously need to catch up on these fics.

[shebambulator]

Help I've fallen back into my Good Omens Obsession and I can't get out.

[necesito-mas-cafe]

Good Omens 2 Spoilers

This is all me being absolutely normal about it.

I need everyone to know that I don't speak English, I just went through all this through the translator and I don't have the strength in me to correct it. It's three o'clock in the bloody morning and I barely finished the last chapter I wrote this.

The second season of Good Omens ripped me apart from the inside out. I saw absolutely nothing before the premiere, neither the trailer nor any post about it, I didn't even stop for the theories (well, I did a little) and the fanarts.

And my God.

I'm fucking crying and I don't know if it's the good way or the bad way.

Aziraphael and Crowley if they knew each other before they fell 😭😭, they were friends who hung out. Aziraphael apparently misses those times a lot. Crowley is so cute in this, like, I legitimately feel like I could sit down with him and have a lively conversation that doesn't involve alcohol or dolphins.

(Also, the scene where Crowley covers Aziraphael with his wing from the meteor shower (what were those things???) made me squeal with the same energy as a little girl when her parents tell her to buy her favorite ice cream).

Aziraphael is apparently a landlord??? like, wtf (And Crowley lives in his fucking car with two (2) boxes of plants, lol). I really liked Maggie and Nina, although I feel sorry for Nina and the whole thing with her (ex)partner (although it's also pretty obvious that the chick was kind of intense).

Crowley going back to the bookstore after his fight with Zira (and his run-in with Beelzebub) to protect him is very 😭💚💚. Crowley has actually been helping him since time immemorial (and wouldn't it be a happier world if he could continue to do so?).

The whole street probably thinks Mr. Fell has weird fetishes, just imagine the rumours.

It's fun to think about how Miguel got a desk based on Gabriel saying he had one.

Crowley suffers directly for lending his precious car to Zira, and he still does it because he loves it. (Also, Muriel is just too adorable in all of this, dammit, I want to give her hot chocolate and a pat on the head for her good work 🤧).

How come Gabriel and Beelzebub developed their bloody romance before the beings that were rightfully "running around" for six thousand years????? It's the funniest and most pathetic (for my ineffable (😭😭😭) husbans) I've ever seen. It is also sweetness that rots teeth).

Crowley's angel costume is fucking hilarious.

After the whole climax is resolved (I'm not commenting on it too much, I'm still processing it) Crowley finally gets up the nerve to tell Aziraphael his feelings (with a lot of help) but is interrupted by Zira, who (dramatically a bit) told Crowley that he could return him to when they were both happy together, like angels, in heaven, which shows us that even though Crowley is Crowley, he prefers the No-fallen-angel-Crowley in order to fulfill his perfect fantasy. And yet, after that, Crowley confesses to Aziraphael, offering to stay together, just the two of them, on his own side. Azira can't accept that, and Crowley can't accept Azira's offer, and after a kiss (which felt like a stab to my heart) they went their separate ways.

AND END

I'M YELLING TOO MUCH

I don't know how to feel about it; my expectations for their relationship was that they would hold hands, not that.

The ending is so perfect and yet so fucking painful 😭.

I need a 3rd damn season (or not, I really (very painfully) liked the ending it had, though the whole second coming thing in the finale has me 👀 if you know what I mean).

[d20owlbear-deactivated]

I am finished! I can show these!!

I’m so happy to have worked with @anti-cyclone / anticyclone on their fic for the @do-it-with-style-events Minibang! I pinch hit for it and it’s one of the biggest pieces I’ve ever done (even as I still try to figure out my own style) and I’m so happy they like it!

Please go read Wrong Turn, it’s a truly AMAZING fic by one of my fav writers!!

Summary: Lots and lots of somethings are wrong. First, Crowley's nearly hit by a car. Then he almost brains himself tripping over new and excessive piles of books at the bookshop. To add insult to near-injury, Aziraphale starts throwing knives at him. Safe to say his day could be going better.

The thing that's the most wrong of all is the universe, of course. In this one there was never an Arrangement. Aziraphale and Anthony (they can't both be 'Crowley') aren't friends and they certainly never agreed to prep for Armageddon. Unfortunately, the end of the world is two days away.

So that's something Crowley really has to fix before they can figure out how to get him home.

I had a LOT of fun figuring out a demon trap for a Crowley (who is still going by Crawly in this fic for a portion of it) based off the ars goetia and Solomon's lesser keys. 

Plus, a pearl handled knife that’s based off a magician’s throwing knife in blade shape, because honestly, why wouldn’t Aziraphale have a magician’s throwing knife to homoerotically tilt Crowley’s chin up with???

Also fuck Aziraphale’s chair pattern. And Crowley’s love of fucking black. Especially this good good OilyBoy at the bottom (hence named during coloring because of the 13 different oil slick blacks I ended up using. the man is an oil stain and no one can convince me otherwise). That’s all.

[d20owlbear-deactivated]

And you are responsible for the things you have tamed.

I dreamed of this image last night

[melbatron5000]

My murder board

Updated 4/22/24

I'll add links as I can, but here's what I've got so far on the Good Omens season 2 puzzle/game. I feel it's important to note that I think we've been given all the puzzle pieces and a bunch of helpful hints besides.

The continuity errors:

Crowley's hair (POV thing)

Crowley's sideburns (POV)

The Bentley, "our car" but then it is Our Car in 1941 also -- WTF (There is a line in the book about someone being powerful enough to make something change and then make it so the change always was that way, but damned if I can recall the line or context now. Need to re-read AND re-watch! Found it! It's when Crowley first meets Adam after he's come into his powers -- he reads Crowley's mind and history like it's a book and this is the impression it leaves Crowley with. Adam's power is very similar to how the Book of Life is described in the show. Curiouser and curiouser!) (POV!)

Eccles cakes when Crowley leaves the shop, it's still morning, the continuity of time is messing with me. When they get the eccles cakes, it's light out. When Crowley leaves, it's dark out. He throws a lightning temper tantrum. He comes back after 9 by the clock in the shop. I still think it's not unreasonable to assume Aziraphale simply tidied away the eccles cakes in that time. Nina would have liked her plate back, after all. But all of this begs another question: 4a. Why is it around 11:30 when Aziraphale leaves Maggie's shop with the record and says he knows what he'll be doing for 21 minutes, but after 4 pm when Gabriel shows up? What happened for those 4+ hours? See 6. Clocks are wrong. Time is wrong!! (4.b the eccles cakes are prominent in at least one promo poster. Even if they don't disappear, do they mean something else??)

Portal rug it's a faded rug right up until the ball, when it becomes a thick red rug, then it's back to faded once the ball is tidied away. It just got made pretty for the ball, then changed back. The change is a nothingburger.

Clocks are wrong -- all over the damn place!!

Cross on Gabriel's statue -- appears to disappear. (POV)

Honolulu roast sign -- appears out of nowhere. (POV)

Title/location cards -- but there are some spots where the S1 title cards are used, what's going on there? (POV clues? -- this needs a closer look)

Drawing of Gabriel -- the one Aziraphale draws in the shop is NOT the one he shows the pub owner in Edinburgh. Why? (POV)

Wet roads/series poster -- what is up with all the rain??

Lights at Marguerites -- on again, off again. (POV? Or is it just when she's closed and open? It's a cafe, after all, they won't be open in the morning.)

Aziraphale's chair position in the Final Fifteen

1941 photo, Crowely's hand

Repeating extras -- not just repeating, but acting oddly -- walking back and forth, touching things, not eating, dressed the same every single day, etc. Do the people on the street in Edinburgh behave the same way?? (POV?)

Resurrectionist sign at the pub -- one with a scalpel, one with a butcher's knife. And it makes me think -- was Mr. Dalrymple a surgeon and a scientist with a scalpel, or a butcher with a cleaver? (POV. Wait, Aziraphale is the only MC there -- whose POVs would we be seeing?? Crowley's. He calls to tell Crowley what he found, what we're seeing is Crowley's idea of what happened.)

Store front signs -- appear and disappear. (POV)

Whickber street as seen from Heaven vs. on location -- the one Saraqael looks at in Heaven is the Google Maps picture of SoHo from 2019 with the book shop added in. It's not even from 2023! There is a building being torn down in it. In person on the show, it's different -- and the building is long gone in actual Google Maps 2023. (I think Saraqael is trying to hide the big miracle. She's showing the arc angels the book shop when it got reset by Adam in 2019.)

When Shax talks to Crowley and he takes off driving. When she appears, he is parked further up the street than when he leaves. Noticeably so. (POV? Or scenes out of order and this is a different time than it looks like?)

Edinburgh castle -- when Aziraphale arrives in Edinburgh, the castle is behind him. When the camera switches angles to behind him, Edinburgh castle is in front of him. The street he is on (streets, actually) are real streets. The castle was put in the first shot deliberately, but exists for real in the second shot. (POV)

Edinburgh streets -- when Aziraphale arrives in Edinburgh, the street he parks on is cobblestone. When the camera switches to behind him, the street is paved. (POV)

Weird sounds of all kinds?? (POV? Some of them yes.)

Crowley's sunglasses. Could this be explained by POV switches? If so, why do they change halfway through and then stay that way?

Questions about things the characters do:

Where did Crowley go during the Job flashback? And why was he wearing his spy turtleneck? (To meet up with Saraqael, perhaps? Seeing as Shax interrupted their meeting earlier that day?)

Where else did Aziraphale go in Edinburgh? And why did he go to the graveyard?

What did Gabriel need to bring to Aziraphale? What happened to it? (God's voice? A message from god? The Book of Life?)

Why does Micheal do the magician's "nothing in the box" display with the matchbox? It's a very specific action. Something's in that up with that damn matchbox. We're being asked to look at it, while something else happens that we're missing. And someone noticed that her nails are in terrible shape when she does it, but our eyes are on the matchbox.

What else did the Metatron say to Aziraphale? (Anything? Are we getting the whole, accurate story? Most of it? Any of it?)

How long was Crowley in Heaven, and what happened while he was there? (Did he sneak around and steal something? Did they harm him? He's acting a bit weird when he comes back.)

What happened to Aziraphale's briefcase? The one he took to Edinburgh. Where he did who knows what. (Is that a POV thing??)

What, if anything, is wrong with Crowley's memory? (Or is he just dissing Furfur and Saraqael?) (OR! Given the Gabriel removed HIS OWN MEMORY AND PUT IT IN THE FLY, so apparently angels ((AND demons??)) can affect their own memories, did Crowley deliberately do something to himself to get rid of unwanted memories??? He seems pretty untroubled by not remembering Furfur or Saraqael or why they made gravity -- almost as if he doesn't care the memories are gone. Okay, maybe he's gotten rid of some memories himself, but then WHY??) This could be a big old nothingburger. Or is he dissing Furfur and offering plausible deniability that he's met with Saraqael before -- like, when he was wearing his spy turtle neck??

What is Shax's mission? She says she's Crowley's replacement, but then she asks for "what she needs" from Crowley on the bench. Huh? What does she need?

How does Crowley know about hand washing in the Resurrectionists minisode? (This strikes different than the "lead ballon" remark on the wall. It's hard to say if Crowley knows about lead balloons, or if they're speaking an angelic language and it's being translated for us and the translator has a sense of humor or is trying to convey Crowley's sense of humor. The hand washing is actual, concrete, specific knowledge of the future.) Ah, I just re-read the book, where he mentions helicopters to DaVinci, and also Neil said this. It's something Crowley can do. He's a demon, he knows things.

What is going on with Maggie? I don't think she's a demon, but there is something up with her. (Also, one of the men in the graveyard in Edinburgh has a tattoo that says "no regerts." That's a real tattoo that circulates around the internet every once in a while -- I think it's a subtle reminder that humans aren't necessarily great at spelling, either.) But she has a Mason symbol on her necklace, and I still think the Masons are significant somehow; Aziraphale can't miracle-influence her; Aziraphale expects her to feel the arc angels arriving.

Why does Gabriel speak with god's voice? (Was that what he needed to bring? That message? But he says he needs to give Aziraphale something, and both times he speaks in god's voice, it's to Crowley. Hmm. IS that God's voice? It's a woman, but who is it?)

How did the pub owner recognize Gabriel's picture so fast? He says himself, "Look pal, I see a lot of people -- oh, yeah, I remember him!" ?? Was it just because Gabriel was weird at him?

Why is Crowley throwing books? It gives us a laugh, but is there a reason for it? He even seems confused as to why he's carrying them right before he does. (This is a POV thing -- the lens is "Aziraphale's" lens, so I think we're seeing Crowley tell Aziraphale what happened while Aziraphale was gone, and how Aziraphale imagines it would go.)

Why is Saraqael the only angel to react with fear before anyone else recognizes the Metatron? (Is it because she's been working WITH Gabriel, Beelzebub, AND Crowley and Aziraphale to thwart the second attempt at ending the world? Neil says he had some secret things for Sandalphon to do, but the actor wasn't available, so Saraqael does some of those things instead . . .)

Aziraphale gently laughs at Muriel's Inspector Constable persona, but then IMMEDIATELY adopts a just as over-the-top reporter persona. Is he doing it deliberately, or is he that un-self-aware? If he's doing it deliberately, why? Who's he trying to convince he's not that savvy? The pub owner? Anyone who might be spying? US?? Is that a POV thing? And if so, whose?? (AHA! I think this is Aziraphale telling Crowley what happened, and Crowley picturing Aziraphale being adorable in his disguise. Aziraphale is not that silly actually, but probably not as slick as he wants to think.)

Why the heck did Maggie and Nina go talk to Crowley while the Metatron was talking to Aziraphale? What they had to say wasn't important enough to leave Nina's shop during a rush, and I definitely don't think they derailed Crowley from what he needed to say to Aziraphale, though it might look at first as if they did. So what was that about?

When Shax stops Aziraphale for a ride, he says, "Oh, I really need to get to --" and then is cut off. He really needs to get to where? It's an easy assumption to think he means the book shop, or London. But is that all he means? Or was he on his way somewhere else? And if it was just the book shop, what does he mean he's late? Late for what? And that lens is still Crowley's lens -- Aziraphale is relating the story to Crowley. Crowley also knows where Aziraphale was going besides Edinburgh.

Crowley can tell something is wrong. Something. What?

Good God, this questions list just keeps getting longer. Why would the Metatron allow Beelzebub and Gabriel to leave, after trying to stop Armageddon 2.0, but come after Crowley and Aziraphale like that? Just because of the big miracle? (Which I'm not sure they did.)

Why does Crowley say "Oh, God," right before his confession in the final fifteen? To let Aziraphale know that he understands what Aziraphale is saying? That God (or the Voice) is there? Seems possible.

Why didn't Gabriel come down the lift in the Dirty Donkey? He also says he had to carry that box for sooo long. Where was he wandering around?

When Crowley leaves Heaven, he tells Saraqael and Muriel to come, too. But in the elevator, Michael and Uriel are there! When the fuck did they show up??

The whole time Aziraphale is in Maggie's shop asking about Every Day, he is looking out the windows and is VERY nervous. Is he just concerned about leaving Gabriel on his own, or is he nervous about something specific? He does react to the car horn outside as others have noted, but he is already jumpy and checking the windows repeatedly, the car horn isn't anything particular, he's just already fixated on the windows.

Why does Beelzebub tell Shax to attack the bookstore? Aren't they worried about Gabriel being harmed? And they know Hell is understaffed. Maybe that's why they command it? Because they know Shax won't be able to get the demons?

Questions about the world:

What about the Masons? It's such a specific thing for the pub owner to bring up, what is the meaning of it? And Maggie has a Mason symbol on her necklace. Did the Masons carve the statue of Gabriel? When did they see him?

The only narration we hear in the entire season is Aziraphale in the Resurrectionist flashback. Why? (Maybe to throw us off? I think we have multiple POV characters in season 2, not just Aziraphale, but we only hear Aziraphale so we assume he's the POV for the entire season. But still, why do we only hear him narrate 1 flashback? Argh, is he reading the diary to himself in the present day? That would explain the end, "And that was the last I was to see of Crowley for some time." If he is reading it in the present day, why? What made him think to go back to THAT entry?? Oh, duh! He JUST heard the story of the jukebox from Maggie. And Gabriel appearing -- same city that statue is in. Of course he thought of something important from that diary entry! Now, what did he notice?)

Is the Book of Life a real threat? We hear two stories about it, that it's real and that its ability to erase beings was something to scare the cherubs with, this is inconclusive. Crowley gets nervous after Beelzebub talks to him, but he could just be upset that their little break is interrupted, and now Heaven and Hell have taken an interest in them again.

Is reality fucked up? How? Whickber street bubble, Aziraphale's power turned up (how?), etc.? A LOT of it is POV shifts!

Job 41:19 on the matchbox: 1941?? YES. Bullet catch/kiss scene!

Where TF is God? "There was nothing for Her to do" my ass. She narrates. That's it. So there was nothing for her to narrate? Hm. (Because there was a host of other narrators? Are the Crowley/Aziraphale through the ages flashbacks in S1 narrated by God? I don't think they are, but I need to rewatch. They are not! And they aren't narrated by God because Crowely and Aziraphale are the POV characters in them.)

So many promo posters show Aziraphale, Crowley, and Jimbriel together, or symbols of them. Three feathers: two white, one black. Tea cup, cocoa mug, wine glass. The three of them. Not with Beelzebub, not with Muriel, the three of them. And all three of them have been Jesus-coded in some small way. No one else. Those three. What. Why. Are they the sacrifice required to bring about the new world? Why not Beez, then?

Wait. Two Crowleys?? WTF. There are two Crowley puppets in the magic shop, and Crowley doesn't remember Saraqael or Furfur. Is he dissing them, or is that the second Crowley that never did meet either of them? Am I insane? I have no theory here, just some wild speculation that needs a lot more time to simmer. Two actual Crowleys, or two ideas of Crowley? Or something to hurt my head?

Why are they in a cave in the opening sequence? The guy who made the opening sequence says they are in the fly that Gabriel stores his memory in. Okay, why? And Crowley lights a match to see. Hm. What else was in that fly that Gabriel didn't take when he got his memory out?

An album on the wall in Maggie's shop says "Rat Keith." This seems to me to be an allusion to The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett. In the book, some men have tied several rats' tails together to create a rat king that keeps the wild rats under control -- except that the rat king has too much power and is doing way more than just that. People die. So who's been given too much power and is now running the show instead of being a puppet? The Metatron, perhaps? Hm . . . Also, Keith is the young boy who plays the part of the Pied Piper for Maurice's scam. He leads all the rats out of town, never mind that the rats can talk and are in on the scam.

Things I think I know:

NEIL GAIMAN IS A LYING LIAR WHO LIES. Except when he's dropping hints or answering straight out. All of his answers to anything anyone asks about GO are suspect at best. (I cannot blame him or anyone else on the cast or crew -- they spent A LOT of time and energy building this very meticulous puzzle game for us -- why would ANY of them give ANY of it away? That would ruin all the fun!)

God has been removed/has vacated. Where did she go? I wonder if anyone knows. Is She just standing back and watching? In the book, Crowley says that anyone who can create a whole universe in six days doesn't let a war of rebellion happen unless they want it to. But that he and Aziraphale wouldn't understand, because if they understood, they wouldn't be them. It's INEFFABLE. He also then FORGETS what he was talking about a minute later.

God doesn't narrate because She's busy being Maggie. Aha!

The Metatron is working for himself. The dice on his tie seem to imply that while God does not play dice with the universe, this jerk surely does. Also, see the rat king observation above, #10.

Gabriel was bringing Aziraphale a message, the box is a red herring. But that brings me to another thing I suspect -- there was something else in the box, and the box is deeply important. Ah, damn -- is that what Crowley gave to Aziraphale in the kiss? Whatever was in the box? Was that what he found out while he was in Heaven? What Gabriel took? Did Gabriel put it in the fly with his memory?

Heaven did something bad to Crowley while he was there. That coffee is a red herring to draw our eye away from him. But that brings me to something else I suspect -- Crowley's knackered and a bit off when he returns from his TEN HOUR JAUNT in Heaven not because they did anything bad to him, but because he stole something very important. Maybe the thing he gives to Aziraphale during the break up?

Crowley and Aziraphale did NOT perform a huge miracle. I don't know what happened, but it wasn't them working together. (Or did they? Are angels and demons more powerful together? Did the Fall create a schism between them that weakened them all? Or are they and Saraqael hiding who did do the big miracle?)

This is a 2 man con. Of course it's a 2 man con. I read American Gods. Crowely and Aziraphale have a plan. This might be version B or C, they might be springing it sooner than they hoped, but that break up was a ruse. A hard, painful ruse, but a ruse. They knew their respite would be short-lived, they've been putting something together for years now.

Crowley put something in Aziraphale's mouth during the kiss. I don't know what, but something he had to swallow. obligateweirdo pointed out that he seems to palm something out of his mouth when he touches his lips the second time, and that Houdini's wife used to slip him the keys to his cuffs with a kiss before his shows. Whatever Crowley gave Aziraphale, it's physical. And Michael Sheen has said he doesn't want to share what's in Aziraphale's pockets -- because Aziraphale put whatever Crowley gave him into a pocket?? Was it the fly? (But didn't that go into Gabriel's eye and stay there?) And if it was the fly, what was inside it?

Gabriel went somewhere else before he went to the book shop. He didn't come down the elevator at the Dirty Donkey. Did he go to Edinburgh? Is that why the pub owner recognized that picture so fast? "Oi! That's that naked bloke was in here last week!" (Or was him walking down the street because we first see him from Nina or Maggie's perspective?? POV muckery?)

SECRET SONGS??? Why are the songs secret?? I'm losing my mind, what is happening??

Several narrators. I'm not even sure how many, but we're seeing the world through the eyes of characters, not God or a faceless narrator. This is part of why things are weird. I don't think that's the full explanation for the whole season, but I think it's a big part of the weirdness. A book that comes up often in the show is The Crow Road by Ian Banks. A brief description of the book says that it is written from the point of view of several characters and the story is told out of order and in no particular fashion, with changes from character to character POV coming at no particular interval and with no warning. AHA! (I did come up with the idea before I saw this post, but @highlandwhackamole beat me to writing it. Well done!) NOW I'm wondering if we aren't also seeing the story as told by the characters we see, but as heard but an as-yet unknown character . . .

The scenes are out of order. The DAMN SCENES ARE OUT OF ORDER! I don't know their correct order, but they are out of order. The Crow Road, again, is told out of order, forcing the reader to piece the scenes together (from a brief description, I'm thinking more and more I need to read this book rather than try to skim it). Is it as simple as watching the scenes in chronological order??

Our angel and demon have hidden something in the book shop. Something important. I have no current guesses as to what. Crowley still has his crank from starting up the nebula. What else might he have taken with him? Is that it? Or something else? HOLY SHIT ARE THEY HIDING JESUS??? Is THAT who did the miracle??

When Aziraphale tells Crowley that their Gabriel miracle set off alarms in Heaven, he sort of raises his eyebrows and says it in the same way he says other things he doesn't mean -- the same tone he says "I forgive you" after the Kiss, or how he says "He says he's Bildad the Shuite," in the Job minisode. It wasn't the Gabriel miracle that set off alarms in Heaven, it was whatever Saraqael was doing, or whoever Saraqael is hiding, and Crowley is well aware of it and whatever Saraqael is up to. Aziraphale just told Crowley that they have to take responsibility for whatever Saraqael did to allay Heaven's suspicions. They are talking in code through more of this season than we first think.

The rainbow lens flairs sure look like eyes. Like a pupil and iris. Is this a subtle hint that we are seeing through someone else's eyes?

When Crowley and Aziraphale argue about what to do with Jimbriel, behind Aziraphale is a privacy screen, and behind Crowley is an open door. Does this reflect how each of them feels, that Aziraphale believes they are speaking in private and Crowley believes they are being listened in on?

Repeating themes:

Beverages of all kinds -- tea for Aziraphale, wine or whiskey for Crowley, cocoa for Jim.

Time -- lots of clocks/mentions of time

Love/partnership/togetherness being stronger than separateness

Queer couples -- is literally everyone in season 2 in a non-cis-het relationship?? Even the guy in the graveyard says he uses his phone for Grindr -- a gay men's dating hook-up app. Nothing wrong with it, but it's an interesting writing choice. Why? Equality and representation -- or a Clue? (I think it's a POV Clue!)

Memories/forgetting/remembering

Payment -- money comes up in both the Resurrectionists minisode and the Flesh Eating Nazi Zombies minisode, but no one pays for anything in present. There is bartering, but no money.

Rising from the dead -- Job's kids (even though they weren't actually dead), bodies used for science, Nazi zombies, the Second Coming.

Unreliable narrators

Death in general -- but 9a., I'm a dirty pagan, why didn't I make this connection sooner, death always leads to REBIRTH, change, something totally new and 9b. there are tarot cards in the magic shop, and even if you're not a dirty pagan, the Death tarot card means transition, something must die before a new thing can be born. Hmmmm.

Morality and what is "good" and what is right

Recognition and identity

Repeating words and phrases OMG the list goes on:

Technically

Properly

Isn't it just?

Too late

Funny old world

Not as such

Made for each other

EVERYWHERE

Obviously

Hints:

Powell and Pressburg films

The Crow Road

Catch 22

The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, Terry Pratchett in general

Jane Austin

Book Good Omens

The titles of episodes, minisodes, places, etc. 7a. The Arrival: a book and a movie, though the book seems far more relevant. And lovely. The Clue: a movie. Companion to Owls: a line from a Bible story. I Know Where I'm Going: a movie. The Resurrectionists: two novels, each called The Resurrectionist, singular. Both look unhinged. The Hitchhiker: a Twilight Zone episode. Nazi Zombie Flesheaters: Literally no other reference. ?? Nazi Zombies do appear in a LOT of movies, comics, and video games, usually as a dark joke. The Ball: a video game. Irrelevant? It's a puzzle-based game, so maybe not. Every Day: a song AND a movie. Some themes repeat here: Puzzle games, being re-directed from one's path to find true love, death and being brought back to life in a gruesome and unpleasant way.

That's what I have so far. I'll try to update with new ideas and information, as well as links to things that support my theories as I find them.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #969: (Not So) Boring Text (SSBU X River City Girls)

Misako: Not sure about u dorks, but I am already getting pretty bored out of my mind right now.

Misako: It's been ten and a half minutes and I still can't find anything decent watch on TV.

Dark Pit: I feel your pain, babe.

Dark Pit: Meanwhile, I can't go a single minute without drifting back to sleep.

Misako: Lol really now?

Misako: And what, pry tell, have u been doing last night that got you all sleepy?

Dark Pit: I've been watching movie marathons of everything Bruce Lee related with Yoshi.

Dark Pit: We bet on three solid rounds of Tekken and surprise surprise, I lost all three of them.

Misako: Dude, u really gotta stop getting yourself into these bets.

Misako: It's obvious that u have the worst luck in them.

Dark Pit: Hey, as long as most of them doesn't involve money, I'll take any losses I can get.

Dark Pit: But now that we're in Spring Break, wanna hit the beach or something?

Misako: Idk.

Misako: I feel too lazy and bored to go out in the sun today.

Dark Pit: Same.

Dark Pit: Where's Kyoko at btw?

Misako: Sleeping.

Misako: The Sleeping Princess.jpg

Misako: She's been playing Elden Ring yesterday and it literally took all night to beat that dumb Margit guy.

Misako: Sweet Victory.Vid

.........................................................................

The video recording shows Kyoko playing Elden Ring game with rage and full, unyielding determination in her eyes as she tries her hardest to beat Margit the Fell Omen for the twentieth time with every dodge she makes from most of his attacks, every hit that she could deliver, and with very little health her avatar has left.

Kyoko: Come on.....come on......Almost there!.......

And with one final strike to the head, the Fell Omen has finally been vanquished by the Heart Throbbed Princess' (Kyoko's Avatar name) blade as he slowly begins to disappear a blue light.

Kyoko: (Immediately Pumps her Fists Up Into the Air as She Starts Cheering in Rejoice) YES! YES! FINALLY!~ (Flips the TV Screen Off With Two Middle Fingers) FUCK YOU TIMES INFINITY, MARGIT THE FALLEN WHATITSFACE! (Went Back to Pumping her Fist Up) VICTORY IS FINALLY MINE!~ WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!~

After that, Kyoko instantly drops down onto the arm rest of the sofa beside her and sleeps soundly. All while Misako, who was recording her the whole time, starts snickering before the video abruptly ends.

................................................................

Dark Pit: Well damn.

Dark Pit: Kudos to her then lol

Misako: Lol Right?

Misako: I'm actually pretty proud the dork right now, ya know?

Misako: Oh shit. She's waking up.

Dark Pit: Already?

Misako: Yep.

Misako: And u r not kidding when you said she has a the cutest Yawn in existenhgjkgjkvjk

Dark Pit: Misako!?

CuteandDeadly❤! Has Joined the Chat

Kyoko: Good Morning, Pitto-Kins!~

Dark Pit: Hey babe.

Dark Pit: What happened to Misako?

Misako: The bitch just surprise kissed me!

Kyoko: Sorry about that, Miski Babe~

Kyoko: I was so busy being happy for my win that I totally forgot to give u a victory kiss before I start passing out.

Misako: Don't worry about it. It's fine.

Misako: Just warn me before u do that shit next time, okay, 'hon?

Kyoko: Yes, ma'am!

Kyoko: Ooh, Pitto-Kins!~

Kyoko: Did Misako told u about what happened last night?

Dark Pit: Yep.

Dark Pit: And I'm proud of u, Kyoko.

Kyoko: Thank u, honey~

Kyoko: It was a SUCH pain in the ass to beat him, but I finally did it......

Kyoko: Now I only have 60 more bosses to through to beat the game!~............................................................

Kyoko: ..................................I cannot wait...... :')

Dark Pit: U know, if u guys want, i can come over to your place and help out.

Kyoko: You'd really do that for me?

Dark Pit: Ye.

Dark Pit: I mean, I don't know shit about Elden Rings and I can't guarantee that we would finish the game itself. But I can try and help get you to the halfway point.

Kyoko: That's so sweet, Pitto-Kins, but I'm taking a break from it for a few days.......

Kyoko: But I still want us to hang out together at your place later!~

Dark Pit: Works for me.

Dark Pit: U feel like going to the beach today?

Kyoko: Nahhh. I'm too drained for beach time.....

Misako: Good. Cuz we don't feel like going either lol.

Kyoko: It is cuz ur tired or lazy?

Misako: ......Yes.

Dark Pit: ^

Kyoko: Ugh. Lazy Bones.

Dark Pit: Hey, urthe one who's dating the two of us.

Misako: No take backs!

Kyoko: Oh please!

Kyoko: I love you guys way too much to do something like that~

Dark Pit: We love u too, Kyoko.

Misako: Even if u r the biggest dork of the face of the earth

Dark Pit: Yeeeeup.

Kyoko: HEY!

Kyoko: I'm not a dork! U r!!

Kyoko: I would record me blowing a raspberry at u right now, but I don't wanna get my screen dirty!

Misako: So that means ur admitting yourself to being a dork then?

Kyoko: NO!

Kyoko: That is SO not what it means at all, u dolts!

Dark Pit: Idk. It seems like that's the case to me~

Misako: Kyoko Raspberry, the most dorkest girl we ever fell in love with.

Misako: Seems about right to me. Don'tcha think?

Dark Pit: Agreed

Kyoko: THAT'S NOT EVEN MY LAST NAME! KNOCK.IT OFFFFF!~

@keyenuta

@ma-lemons

@caleb13frede

@cyber-wildcat

@albion-93

[respectable-username]

So, uh, I guess I should do one of those intro pinned post thingies? Well, here it is.

Who am I?

Hi! I'm Respectable Username. You can call me Res for short. I mostly post about Hermitcraft and Hermitcraft-adjacent things, but will also reblog other funnies or interesting things.

What do I do?

IRL, I'm a software engineer. In the fan-o-sphere though, I mostly enjoy writing and character analysing stuff. Writing I've done on Tumblr is tagged with `#res writes`.

Asks open

Ask me about anything really. Or alternatively, give me a prompt and I might just get inspired to throw out a scene/one-shot from it!

Latest bit of writing

The Weirdest Reflection - Etho and Bdubs swap outfits. That's it. Fluffy Last Life one-shot.

It Glows in the Dark - A mysterious item appears in the world. What is it, and why is it there? Multichapter mystery/action/angst?/I don't know how genres work starring 18 Hermits.

Here There Be Monsters - Grian is a completely normal human, living in a completely normal, human world. Or at least, that's what he thought before the creature attacked him. Multichapter, Urban Fantasy AU, MCYT crossover (but mostly Hermitcraft focused).

Streaming

I've started streaming some modded Minecraft over on Twitch. At the time of writing, I mostly play TechnodeFirmaCraft, a survival-based modpack. If you wanna come along and say hi, my channel is respectable_username.

Important Tags

If I'm talking about IRL stuff or about a project I'm working on that's not released, I'll tag as `#res rambles`.

If I'm writing a scene or some character analysis on Tumblr (as opposed to just linking to AO3), I'll use `#res writes`.

If I post/reblog anything shippy (rarely, but it does happen occasionally), I will tag as `#hermitshipping`.

Uh, so do you Hermitship?

Yeah I know I'm complete trash but I try to keep it off the main blog. Look, I can't help which characters my brain decides to lock on to and right now yes it is a pair of Hermits. But only their characters, not the real-life people. And again, if I do feel the need to post, it will be tagged so you can avoid it.

You keep mentioning a big writing project?

This writing project is "It Glows in the Dark" and I'm slowly releasing it now! All posts related to it post-release are tagged with "#IGITD fic". My Word doc is at almost 30,000 words now and I still have a way to go, making this by _far_ the most writing I've done on any singular project for any reason ever. I'm really proud of it please go read it and I'll love you forever.

Other fandoms?

The other big, long-running fandom participations from the past have been Doctor Who and the MCU. I've also fallen through other fandoms over time, including in the last few years She-Ra (2018), Good Omens, and Attack on Titan.

And of course I was historically part of the Sherlock (BBC) and Merlin fandoms back in the day, although never got into Supernatural.

So, what's up with the username?

Uh, well, I'd been trying for a few years to move away from my old username that I used everywhere. I'd come up with that name in 2006, and very little created in 2006 is fit for purpose in 2021! I'd been struggling to come up with something new though, so I mostly just used the old username or my "professional" username.

But then came the time when I wanted to update my username on Twitch so I could try catching some of the Hermits' livestreams and join the chat and I didn't want the embarrassing old username. So I changed it, trying a few different options, none of which were available, and eventually in my frustration just put in respectable_username and saved. I almost immediately regretted it, but Twitch wouldn't let me change back for 60 days, so got stuck with it for the time being.

But then I actually caught a Hermit's stream live (one of Tango's Among Us sessions with the Friday Night Crew) and chatted in the chat and about 3 separate people complimented the username! So I decided to keep it and make it my new username that I used around the place. Still haven't updated most websites yet though.

As I think of more things, I'll add them.

[d20owlbear]

Up on AO3 now! https://archiveofourown.org/works/26649328

Because I'm a poor fucking sucker for a priest au. Please please go see @gayforgoodomens 's au pt1 pt2 pt3 (edit cause I tagged the whole wrong ass blog)

Father Fell returned back to the parish and closed the large doors behind him, sighing heavily and slumping against them. It had been a long day, a difficult one too, and it was days like today he could feel himself strain and the faith that always felt so ever-present in him begin to fray. It wouldn't break, it was made of stronger stuff than that and always had been, but when the flock he was responsible for was afflicted with death and sickness and anger, he couldn't help but feel like a rope run over the edge of a knife. Prickly and halfway to falling apart.

He'd needed all the strength he'd prayed for, and every moment he passed further than he thought he would be able to, every moment he could comfort and meditate and grieve with his parishioners was a moment granted by God, he was sure of it. But it left him feeling hollow, sometimes, being a vessel of the Lord. Poured out and drained dry.

Father Fell sighed again and bit back an unbecoming curse, which he was loathe to admit he'd picked up from Father Crowley as he gardened. It was his turn to cook today, for the two of them, and he hadn't even thought to stop by somewhere to pick something up. It was already late and he was hungry and beyond the ability to make choices with a muddled head and heavy heart.

Pushing himself off the doors, Farther Fell walked past the pews and to the altar, running his fingertips over where he and Antho- Father Crowley prayed in the mornings and at night. It was some comfort, and he could almost imagine the stone was warm to his touch, and the peace of God filled him. It wasn't empty, not really, but he frowned to himself anyway at the lack of wholeness that often came with it and his other routines. He sighed again, and it felt like all the winds of the world had passed thru his lungs and the weight of it crushed him at the shoulders. But he repeated to himself a verse that had helped him thru till the finish of the day numerous times before, "That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."*

It didn't help, not much, but he'd take any bolstering the Lord would grant him at that moment. Turning, he tottered off towards the back rooms where the kitchen and, more importantly his and Father Crowley's living quarters, were. He would need to beg off tonight and hope the man would be merciful enough not to tease too much before taking in the burden of dinner for the night. At this point, he'd settle for barely doctored, tinned soup or leftovers if they had any. He was just so tired...

Once at the kitchen, Father Fell stopped in the doorway, just underneath the lintel, struck dumb at the scene before him. Anth- Father Crowley was at the counter chopping a few carrots and celery it looked like and onion too perhaps, with a white apron wrapped around him in a stark contrast to his black clothes. While Father Fell tended to wear the more traditional cassock and clothing, Father Crowley often wore plain black with a detachable collar or clerical tab about the neck.

It was... surprising to find him here like this, though maybe it shouldn't have been.

Father Fell hummed under his breath, a tuneless noise as his nerves acted up once more. Father Crowley turned and his eyes opened in surprise, matching the look on Father Fell's face, he was sure, at the sunglasses hung at the corner of the aprons collar.

"Good evening- oh you look nervous. Bad day?" Father Cro- Anthony asked. His arms opened and he stepped closer, inviting Aziraphale into his arms for comfort, and Aziraphale felt like he was home.

Aziraphale stepped forward and let himself be caught up in Crowley's arms. His chin rested on Crowley's shoulder and he paid no mind to the way the sunglasses dug into his chest and how lovely it felt to have Anthony wrapped up around him and stroking his back kindly, or how nice it was to hold onto someone pouring into him for once, rather than relying on him to be a font of godly comfort.

He sighed, as heavily as before, but felt as if he were filled, slowly and steadily so as not to shatter the dried earthen vessel.

"There, there, angel. I made your favorite." Anthony murmured so that only Aziraphale would hear him, not that anyone was around to do so. And Aziraphale could only hum again and nod his thanks wordlessly, turning his face to bury it in the crook of Anthony's neck.

God had seen fit to give him Anthony as a companion, to help him tend the flock, a fellow shepherd to guide and soothe and care for them. And Aziraphale, in no moment more than this, was filled to the brim and overfloweth with gratitude for it.

"Go on now," Anthony gave him one last squeeze to put him to rights and helped him stand fully under his own power once more, "Set the table and tell me about it. If you like... You could sit and read, if that would be better. Or both, dinner is still a good half hour away. Mrs Calvin thought you'd be caught up with the debacle with the Northridge houses a bit longer. They settled down finally?"

Aziraphale hummed again and did not need to sigh, for the breath in his lungs came and went easily with no more weight on him than what his shoulders provided naturally. God was good, he thought, to give him such a companion to love dearly as this.

*2 Corinthians 12:10

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And the sound of heavens rang in all those small spaces between them, echoing like cathedral bells in the empty places in them. 

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Hello nerds, I am here again with more bullshit. 

A preview, for Chapter 6 of The Mathematical Improbability of Reaching the Stars by @cassieoh​ and myself:

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Daffodalia [1]

(This fic actually took some inspiration, at least looks and height wise, from @10yrsyart Book Omens character designs. Though they’re not described explicitly so they can be hc in any way you like!)

Summary: Written for Book Omens Week.

Crowley and Aziraphale drink quite a bit, this time for pleasure rather than for the stress, and fall asleep on the sofa in the back room of the bookshop.

They wake up with terrible hangovers. ---

[1] Daffodils, or Narcissus flowers, mean “Egotism, Formality” in the language of flowers, but are also closely related to a Greek word meaning “intoxication” (which is narcotic). Dalia is a name that in Arabic stems from the word for grapevine and in Hebrew from the word for [tip of a] branch, especially that of a grapevine or an olive tree.

Aziraphale smiled, eyes closed, and cuddled up against Crowley on the couch he’d been previously sure was too small for the both of them to comfortably fit on. He was inordinately pleased with the couch for not being so, and the couch was rather chuffed at the silent, but still angelic, praise being thought about it. Crowley had threatened it telepathically and was rather glad it didn’t fight back against any Entirely Reasonable Expectations TM and had, in fact, gathered it’s couch-y wits about it and widened accordingly.  That being said, the couch, and their positions, were exceedingly comfortable.

Both the angel and demon had been drinking. It wasn’t for any particular reason so much as they enjoyed being in each other’s company but hadn’t quite gotten into the habit of not needing excuses for it even after being so thoroughly ignored by their respective sides— after hundreds of years, learning not to look over one’s shoulders was quite difficult indeed. So they drank and shared stories about the couple of weeks[2] they’d been apart, taking inventories and passing out miracles of both hellish and heavenly origins now that they no longer had quotas to meet or budgets to stick to.[3]

[2] Since they are rather immortal—not the unkillable kind, of course, just the long-lived kind— they have a somewhat shaky grasp of how much Time is considered long.

For the best comparison, it’s easiest to assume they tend to think of a Standard Human Year in the same way a Human might think of half a week. That is to say, not very long and not entirely unreasonable to not see someone for if you know they’ve been busy, but certainly long enough to start pining again if you’re in love. This, however, also means that Crowley is 100% a flash bastard with a hot new hobby or wardrobe every weekend to all the other immortals in his acquaintance.

[3] Crowley had quite a few quotas to meet that he often found difficult to reach with how humanity rarely needed much of a push in the first place (hence the reasons he took credit for them nonetheless, but the paperwork for the actual Demonic Intervention Miracles, or DIM, was Hellish. [3.1]). His budget for DIMs was approved ad infinitum in part because it was the only thing he’d asked for in recognition for his work Up Top with the Tree Debacle and also because Dagon decided not to bother dealing with requisition forms every 12 days on the dot for miracles to keep him from discorporation. Truly it was more work to give him a new corporation to his specifications than it was to keep him from coming back to Hell whining and complaining.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, was constrained in the other direction. He had quotas to meet and rarely had trouble with them as he was, in fact, a divine being of Love who liked to spread that Love as much as possible. He did, of course, have a bit of a terrible habit of tending towards unnecessary expenditures of Heavenly Ordained Enterprises, or HOE, like an extra marshmallow [3.2] or pulling a street urchin out of the way of a run-away cart without putting himself in self-sacrificing harm’s way.

[3.1] Pun intended, of course, because puns were the lowest form a wit. So low, one might say it was from Be-Low

[3.2] Gabriel had always given him a pass on re-warming his hot chocolate, though not tea or even coffee, as the word ‘hot’ was in the very name, and therefore must be kept that way, per Her will. Even if he didn’t quite know what chocolate was or why Aziraphale seemed to be around it so often to keep it warm.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale murmured, voice light and pleasant, as he dragged his fingertips through the lanky demon’s hair and down the back of his neck, “Have you heard about bees? They've got dances for maps. ”

Crowley snorted in response, shifted a little, but otherwise doesn’t move in Aziraphale’s arms. He was far too comfortable wrapped up in the warmth of an angel’s embrace and far too lazy besides. They were both also far too drunk to manage to untangle themselves from one another with any level of coordination. Best just stay like this, simpler that way, of course.

“Bees?” Crowley grinned. His voice canted up in mock incredulousness, nuzzling his face against Aziraphale’s chest, thoroughly sozzled. “ ‘Ve heard abou’ ‘em, yeah. S’what’s– what’s to do?”

Aziraphale blinked, a little slow and confused. “What’s about them, m’ dear? They're indoub– indo– very much needed! For grapes! And fruits, and pears.” Aziraphale’s face turned morose and tears gathered in his eyes. “A–and they’re dying !” He hiccuped a sob in the way drunk people do, sad enough to sound upset but not quite fully capable of processing most things, let alone complex emotions, to start crying in earnest about it.

“Shh!” Crowley shushed, startled by the sob, and clumsily patted at Aziraphale’s face with his free hand. It was more of a light smack really. The other was trapped underneath Aziraphale’s back, so, while rather useless in this instance, he wasn’t entirely inclined to be upset about it since it meant their chests were pressed together by necessity.

“S’ok! S’ok, Angel! Adam's set it to rights–a bit–and you can use you’re miracles or somethin’, jus’ yanno, maybe make some more flowers and clovers. No one c’n be mad at you fer that, yeah?” Crowley panicked while attempting to sound calm.[4]

Aziraphale just hiccuped a few more sobs, face still dry even though his eyes were a bit on the blurry side. “Flowers? You know them?”

“Yeah, s’fine, Angel, shh. I’ll get you flowers, yeah? With bees in ‘em.”

“You– you will?” Aziraphale gasped, pulling Crowley into an even tighter embrace,[5] which he happily melted into.

“Mhm, should do,” Crowley muttered, breathing in deeply once Aziraphale’s arms relaxed around him again and closing his eyes. His mouth opened to take in the scent he was surrounded by, smelling of Aziraphale’s old barbershop cologne, wine and old books, and something that was uniquely Aziraphale.[6]

[4] He was rather terrible at that. Rarely did one meet someone who was more obviously panicked than Crowley, who sometimes looked panicked even when he was, in all actuality, entirely fine. Must be his face.

[5] It really was for the best Crowley didn’t need to breathe, even if he liked to. And that he had enough ribs and vertebrae to displace all the excess force in Aziraphale’s arms. The angel had been a Guardian for a reason, no matter how much he liked to play at being soft and harmless. Crowley never forgot, least of all like this, and even though as a demon he should be frightened by it, Aziraphale’s strength had always felt like a warm promise at his back, something that felt like safety.

[6] He smelt like light, pure and unexplainable, he also smelled like comfort, which was just as unexplainable as smelling like light but it felt quite a lot like Love. Which Crowley might admit to, one day, but only if he was cornered and only ever to Aziraphale himself. But then again, Crowley could be biased, and simply thought that Love smelled a lot like Aziraphale, instead of the reverse. He’d also be hard-pressed to ever admit that thought either.

[[Full Story]]

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d20owlbear‌:

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cassieoh‌:

So, uh, last night in the GOBB discord there was some discussion of regional gothic aesthetics and that combined in my head with that amazing wild west AU art that’s going around and well; here’s a Rodeo!AU

Featuring:

- Aziraphale - calf roping, it’s all about the bond between the rider and the horse (which are the best trained and cleverest horses out there) and about catching the calf safely and quickly (without hurting the calf!), the event came out of the skills required to catch a calf that might break from the herd and be running towards danger. Aziraphale is amazing at it, in particular he’s known for his skill at ‘flying’ aka, what he’s doing in the picture above.

- Crowley - saddled bronco riding, look, LOOK, horses hate Crowley, that’s not gonna change here, but, he’s a stubborn SOB who genuinely believes there isn’t a horse out there who can buck him off, and well, he’s never been proven wrong yet, well, except for;

- The Bentley - one bronco who actually knocked him off, at like 1.5 seconds too just to rub salt in the wound, and he’d 100% buy it. This horse is currently, and possibly forever, unridable. Also, I think Crowley 100% calls the horse “The Bentley”, not Bentley.

And then, just to restate what I said to @dontbesoevil when this was first being discussed; here’s the way that the eldritch stuff translates to this AU;

Aziraphale as a southern dandy, all soft hands and gentle words and a smile that makes you a little uncomfortable to look at for too long (he smells like peaches even when its not peach season, and there’s something of the swamp about him, lingering just out of perception) And Crowley, oh Crowley as the stereotypical lone ranger type (just standing next to Crowley feels like standing in the desert right before a lightning storm, all your hair on end and the smell of ozone in the air, and he’s still not cruel, still not evil, but he is the wide open expanse and that means being a little distant, a little more feral than he is in canon; when he’s around Aziraphale there’s the sense of the little flowers that bloom from only the morning dew, parched and waiting and resilient)

(for folks who don’t wanna see this, I’m tagging it as “good omens rodeo” so it can be tumblr saviored!)

The tinny clink of spurs comes from around the corner and Aziraphale looks up from the rub-down he’s giving his mare, currycomb in hand. Spurs, hmm? He thinks and rolls his eyes to himself, Probably some showman looking for the intimidation factor. Or one of those fellas who ride broncos. Aziraphale huffed to himself with a smile as his mare, Moiselle, nudges at his arm to get him working again. Bronc riders were wild and crazy and rarely worth the effort, in Aziraphale’s opinion, to get a word in edgewise, or at least among the ones he’s met.

“Well, how’d’ya do?” A rich, low voice called from behind him and Aziraphale pulled back his shoulders, stood to his full height, and frowned delicately at the tall, wiry man dressed in all black, leaning on the stall door with arms crossed and smarmy grin as wide as his face.

“Quite well, and you?” Aziraphale replied, while his tone was plenty polite, anyone able to read a room at all would be able to tell in a heartbeat he wasn’t in the mood for conversation and glanced down the man’s body briefly before snapping his eyes back up. He even wore sunglasses inside? How odd.

“Just wonderin’ how I missed the likes of you here before. New?” The man flicked up his hat as if it were the shade from the brim that made it hard to see indoors and not his sunglasses, and leaned in a bit more. Moiselle leaned over and lipped at the brim before shoving her nose into his shoulder, nuzzling for attention, and pulled a snort of laughter from the man.

“Alright, and hullo to you too. Buy me dinner first. By the way, I’m Crowley.” Crowley reached up to pet between her eyes and down to her nose with surprisingly delicate strokes. Or, well, surprising to Aziraphale, who wasn’t expecting much from a cowboy all dressed in black and red like he was a villain in an old spaghetti western. 

If anyone is interested, cassie-oh made me put this on ao3 here https://archiveofourown.org/works/22929088

Eventually there will also be a follow up involving both Crowley and Aziraphale being high key interested in the other’s competence.

Chapter 2 is up!

Crowley was awash with nerves. It was comp-day and the rodeo was in full swing already. He regretted eating that rack of ribs as fast as he had in order to catch one Mr. Aziraphale Fell's calf-roping event. He'd practically swallowed his lunch whole to get a good seat in time, found a perfect spot right in the sun on aluminum benches, and he was pretty sure his ass was gonna get seared enough to find in a steakhouse dumpster by the end of this. 

But that'd all be fine, because he had one of the best seats in the house, right up against the fence about a third of the way down the enclosed area from the starting gates. If Aziraphale were any good, at 9 seconds or less, he'd be right in front of Crowley when he tied up the calf or thereabouts. Not that Crowley would know, of course, and certainly not because he was familiar with various rodeo events or that he watched videos of calf roping to figure out how far they made it depending on the time. And, he figured, he could just watch Aziraphale’s backside if he weren’t any good at all. Win-win really. 

He sat, shifting side to side until the bench was finally cool enough to not burn his ass off entirely and waited. Not patiently, Crowley wasn’t a patient man, but still enough to be mistaken for patience if one didn’t look at him too hard. The bleachers filled until about half of them were used up by families of calf ropers and those enthusiastic about the event and there were only a couple minutes until the event started in earnest.

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