#Having F/Os to consider family just makes me beyond happy.

[ofieugogyshz]

F/O list

It has occurred to me that maybe I need a post version so I can link back to it for mobile.... So here's a basic copyedit of the desktop page. I apologize for the blown up icons. I have tried different ways to make this post and alas, it will only show up blown up. ....no wonder everyone is making carrds or other outside pages

Main F/O forever and ever is Lance from Pokemon.

It’s been about… 18 years??? long time. A very long time. And only recently has TPC/Game Freak been feeding us Lance fans some very good content. bless pokemon masters. His tags are #my champion, #notes from my champion, #notes from my husband, #notes to my champion, #notes to my husband, among a handful of others. Because we've been together for so long, I'm not comfortable sharing him, but it doesn't mean I won't interact! It'll just feel weird seeing shippy stuff with others ._.;

I have some familial f/os, though the idol kids are more like “best girl/best boy” and I don’t have an self-insert or interactions with them, to be honest. But I’ll proudly post about them and gush over how precious they are.

Speaking of the kids, here are MINE. I love these kids so much and they mean so much to me and bring me so much joy to see and light and I can't even begin to words how important they all are towards my happiness, so you'll just have to look in their tags and see.

Otoya is my most precious idol son, i love him so much, i have so many pins and an itabag for him. pls do not harm the sunshine or i will not like you. at all. eiichi. His tag is "my idol son"

Rin is also my most precious idol girl! She’s super energetic and ADHD and basically her and Otoya are practically the same person. Both super sunshiny idol kids who brighten my day! Her tag is "nyan daughter"

Nozomi is actually more like a little sister to me, even though she’s the Big Sister of the group! She likes to tease the others sometimes, but she’ll also offer advice to the group when its needed, and guided μ’s together from the shadow. She also reads tarot! Her tag is getting changed from “nozo daughter” to “nozo sister”.

Mari! I just vibe with her. Also the whole pretends everything is okay and tries to be super cheery and obnoxiously shiny. Plus, we both like metal. I love her and I feel for her okay??? Her tag is "shiny daughter"

Hanamaru too! she was the first aqours girl i liked, bc we’re both bookworms, and then she fell out as mari fell in (and the anime reduced her to zuramaru and *judges yoshiko*), but she’s fallen back in the more i see of her in the mobile game and in general! and i realize that we both aren’t the fit type but if she can do all the idol stuff then maybe one day I can too!! i forgot her tag, it might have been "zura daughter" or "book daughter"

I love all these girls and Rin and Mari tend to be the top two bestest girls. as a result of them being the high energy cheerful type, I’m anticipating that Ai will be my best Nijigasaki girl. so far, yes. Her tag is "aidol daughter".

Caulifla and Cabba are my saiyan kids but honestly i forget about cabba a lot whenever i try to list my son(s). their tag is “my saiyan children”, as i cba to make separate tags for them when I don’t come across posts of them as much anymore

I’m sure there’s others that I’m forgetting, but those are the main ones. I also sometimes reblog my friends’ fave llsif girls under “#tomato niece” “#rice niece” “#rubesty niece” “#buubuu niece” and "#mermaid niece". I’ll add links later . I also group the girls and otoya under the tag “my idol children”

There’s also my Pokemon family to consider, as I’ve come to realize that it’s more than just my husband!

This is my bratty stepson, Silver. He’s more Lance’s kid than mine. We snark at each other a lot, and there’s not much a “push come to shove” level of care between the two of us so much as “Lance would be disappointed in us if we let anything happen to the other���. But he’s grown a lot since Lance took him under his cape wing, and has become much better liked, even at the Dragon Clan. His tag is “Tsundere Stepson”

My cousin-in-law on Lance’s side, Clair. She doesn’t like me, like, at all. It wasn’t until our mid-twenties that she started to calm down on the major dislike she held for me. She felt it unfair that I wasn’t being held up to the same standards that Lance expects from her, and held it against me, though she’d never openly say why. Just a simple “I don’t like her!”, followed up by her searching for excuses when asked why. We still aren’t friends, and aren’t the first person the other would turn to, but we can tolerate being around each other. She’ll only do favors for/with me if Lance is the person asking her to help. Her tag is “Tsundere Cousin”

Miss Honey, from SwSh’s Isle of Armor! She’s so amazing, so pretty, and SUCH A GOOD MOM. She helps take care of the Dojo and its students, she used to be the CEO of a trading firm, AND she will kick your ass. She also helps the students’ mental/emotional health, she’s just so caring and kind and SUCH A GOOD MOM. did i mention she’s a good mom? because she’s my mom. Her tag is “Kickass Mom”

Cynthia is a friend!!! I’d say from.... was it 16 that DP came out stateside? Anyhoo she’s a very lovely person, can be pretty wise, definitely a fellow ADHDer, we get along about myths and can hyperfixate on those a lot, and she’s a good role model/big sister-type friend! She’s very helpful to those that ask for or need her assistance. also she shipped me and lance and stuck her nose into helping move that along but that’s another topic for another day . She doesn’t have a unique tag yet; it’s currently “cynthia tag tbd”

Lastly.... Moving out of Pokemon and onto the last member of my familial f/os

Say hello to my Grandpa Nevin. He is an old dragon and an outlier and should not be counted a very wise old man. He has so much wisdom and importance to me (and Chise) that I don’t think I would have enjoyed the series or cried as much as I have without him. He’s so very very wise and important. I don’t know what else to say, man. He’s just says important things that hit right to the heart. A different outlook on things, a way to make you rethink. His nickname for me would be something like “Teller of Tales” or something that alludes to me being a writer. He doesn’t have a tag yet.

Uncategorized: sometimes boogiepop is here and I’m not entirely sure why beyond “I strongly feel a connection to it”. Please behold the original cosmic enbity:

Anyways, that’s all! Thanks for getting through this list! 

[wispy-selfship-eden]

Yuletide Preparations - 2 (Final)

 May I present to all of you a follow up to Part 1! Enjoy! Funny how I get more into the spirit the more I write about trying to celebrate the holidays lol.

This one will definitely be longer because I can’t control myself ;; and its time for the ball and im rushing my dead ass to get things done.

I’ll definitely do more and involve more of my F/Os when I announce my own takeover! ><

@nougatships​ , bless you for making such a wonderful event. Thank you so so much!! ^^ And thanks to everyone else for being apart of this c: I can’t wait to see others at the party.

Featuring:

Mai - SI/Myself

Fuuma Kotarou, Katou Danzo, Nursery Rhyme, Elizabeth Bathory, and Abigail Williams - Fate/Grand Order

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd - Fire Emblem Three Houses

Finnian - Black Butler

and many more to come!

Work count: 3.3k

---

“Please, Mai~?”

Mai sighs at the puppy dog eyes being directed at her. With the addition of her more cutie patootie boyfriends like Finnian, this continuing persuasion was starting to wear down some of her defenses.

“No, Finny…”

“What?!” His hands clasped her shoulders as he looks at her worriedly. “But why not?! I was looking forward to twirling you around like a princess at the ball!”

His eyes seemed watery as he fired questions left and right.

“Did someone say anything mean to you?! They probably don’t even know you! You’re always so beautiful day in and day out Ma—”

“Okay!! Okay Finnian, thank you! That’s really enough. Really,” Mai slaps one hand over his face in order to cover her reddening one with her other.

“Goodness gracious—if you keep this up, I won’t even be able to make it to the ball. I’ll be confined to my bed due to passing out from internal combustion.”

Finnian hesitantly let go on her insistence. But the small smile and giggle in response to his actions didn’t lighten up the twang in his heart.

Truth to be told, ever since the other night when the girls had tried on their dresses Mai has been a bit off.

Sure she’s used to putting on a brave facade when life gets rough, but this is winter break. She hasn’t worried about anything for a week… until the flyer was delivered to their doorstep, taped onto the front.

Others may have noticed, but for Finnian to see the proof in front of him…

Exhaling softly, he took Mai by the hand and sat them down on the couch. The girls were out shopping for christmas decorations for the home. The others were handling early christmas greetings with their families, or just going out to observe the holiday ambiance in public.

They were the only ones there, and the silence was overwhelming. 

“Are you not happy going, poppy?...” He asks quietly, turquoise eyes wide with concern.

Mai’s naturally hunched shoulders seemed to shrink in. She didn’t look up from the tabletop as she took deep breaths.

“It’s not that… I’m not excited or happy it’s just—”

There wasn’t a proper way to describe what she was feeling. Maybe her feelings were trivial and she should know the answers to her problems, but there was always doubt. Especially considering she’s begun to understand how it feels having these issues that she hears from others.

“FInnian… do you really think I’m… pretty?” Mai murmurs.

“You are!” He answers readily.

“Finnian, that is way too fast for an answer.” It incited a raised brow from her, along with an amused smile.

“But it’s the truth!” Sandwiching her hand between his own, he jostled it as he cheerfully proclaims, “In fact, not a day goes by where I would think otherwise. How could I?! I’m about as right as rain every day I get to see you!” If Mai had the ability to physically blush, she would be a steaming kettle at the moment.

“Finny now you’re just exaggerating,” she modestly remarks, smiling crookedly.

“Oh I’m not! Because when we all get there, you’re still going to be the most beautiful flower I get the honor of being with. Everyone else can and will say the exact same thing!”

It’s just a shame the fluttering sensation she would get after such reassurances were very, very brief. The doubt still gnaws at her heart.

“... Thank you. You’re always so sweet,” Mai leans in and embraces him intimately, cradling him as she buries her face in his hair.

A muffled giggle bloomed on her chest. “That tickles, flower.”

“Good! I’m glad I can make you laugh somehow.”

His hugs are always so wonderful. Warm like sunshine gracing itself to her.

But that wasn’t enough to completely blind her from the fact that a shopping bag still lay untouched in her closet.

When everyone else got home, Finnian had to rush back to his original home. He said that he would meet up with her at the ball for sure. 

Because his face would be the first thing she sees inside, he promised.

She held him up to it, but this anticipation did not sit well with her growing anxieties.

Before she knew it, it was already the next day. It was going to be hours before the ball would start, but time couldn’t be any swifter. It was, as usual, unwarranted.

But enough about her. She has to distract herself with focusing on the others. She feels a lot better in the end knowing they’ll be happy.

“Dimitri!” 

“Oh! Beloved,” His smile brightened up at seeing her rush down the hallway to him.

They exchanged an intimate hug before she pulled back and let out a low whistle, much to his sheepishness.

“Wow, look at you!~” Laughing lightly, Dimitri shook his head as he hung up his overcoat. “It couldn’t possibly be that pleasing to the eyes, Mai. Surely there will be others.”

“Absolutely not! God, why are you such a stud, Dimitri?” Mai asked as if genuinely baffled.

“B-Beloved, please—”

“Next thing you know, a cop might arrest you for being this inhumanly beautiful.”

Dimitri couldn’t find any words to say for fear that the redness would extend beyond his neck.

But how could Mai not freak out? After all, he looked nothing short of perfection in a modern formal suit. Formal wear would always be one of Dimitri’s fortes. His vest was a royal blue as an homage to him being a Blue Lion at heart, for his classmates. 

She did not appreciate how she felt heat swell up in her at how his body fit well into his garments. Were it not for a couple days ago, she would have pounced on him. But then at remembering the occasion, the dread pooled into her stomach.

“ved… Beloved?”

“Huh, wha—” Shaking her head, Mai refocuses her attention on Dimitri.

But now his face has morphed into a worried frown. “Oh my. I had heard that you were preoccupied with your thoughts, but it’s more prominent than I initially thought.”

He takes her hand in his and begins leading her upstairs, passing by the others who were looking over everything last minute. 

“Welcome home, Mister Dimitri!” Nursery Rhyme called from the kitchen as she was packing away her gingerbread men with Kotarou and Danzo.

“Please make sure you’re ready to go, Mas—I mean, Mai…” The red headed male fixed sheepishly, blushing behind his holiday scarf as Danzo fixed it up for him.

“We still have leeway to make it there leisurely, Fuuma-dono. Mai-dono, please do not pressure yourself. We have already prepared since the beginning, so everything will be just fine.” A reassuring smile was sent their way, and Dimitri nodded in appreciation. “Thank you, you two. It won’t take us long! We’ll be down before you know it.” “And our fellow feline better be wearing a dress by the time she comes down~” Elizabeth cooed.

Dimitri’s eyes widened at his hand being gripped tighter.

“...Mai?” He called out softly.

He couldn’t say more than that as Mai went ahead of him, dragging him by the hand until they made it within the confinements of her room.

Mai sighs harshly to herself as she closes the door behind her, pushing herself off it as she twiddles with her thumbs.

Staring warmly, Dimitri tries to meet her hiding eyes, intertwining hands. “Mai, whatever is concerning you, it will be okay… Remember what I said? I promised to always be there for you should you need an open ear and heart. How could I possibly be happy otherwise when my beloved is in distress?”

A giddish expression almost formed on her face had she not cleared her throat. But her ears did burn from his usual sweetness.

She adjusts her glasses and flitted her eyes to the side. But that movement didn’t miss his eyes, and his own travel over to her closet. On top of a few boxes was a shopping bag from a brand of formal wear.

“Oh, is that your attire for the upcoming ball?” A smile graced his lips (Oh why do they have to be so kissable god DAMN IT—).

“I’m sure you will look absolutely wonderful, my dear. If you would allow me to, I’d love to see it-” “Dima.” Any words he had in mind fell short at her grave tone.

“Mai…” She took her hand from his and sank her nails into her forearms.

“I just don’t… think I can do this,” she admits. Inhaling sharply, she elaborated unevenly,

“Go to the… ball I mean.”

Hia hand tenderly cups her face, his smile comfortingly warm. “Whyever not? I know you’ll be absolutely wonderful company there. It wouldn’t be the same without you there by our side.”

“That’s part of the thing. It’s nerves; being good enough to be with you all and, being among tons of other people who are,” she breathed unevenly in shutters, “absolutely wonderful and more charming.”

“Trust me, beloved. I’m a bit of a stiff myself when it comes to formal events. But, the invitation stated it’s supposed to be focused on enjoying the occasion. It’s like you told all of us: we are going to enjoy ourselves. As long as we can do that, then that’s all that matters,” Dimitri reassures.

Mai lets out a squeak when he leans in and kisses her forehead, brushing her fringe out of the way in the process. “I know that for me, my eyes could only go back to you and you alone.”

Oh fuck this feral prince charming incarnate. 

“Right, of course,” Mai laughs quietly and nods. She gives him a small smile before exhaling and biting down on her bottom lip lightly.

“The other issue is…” After glancing towards her bedroom door to make sure no one was listening, she turned back to him and properly met his eyes, despite the sharp blue they always are.

“I promised the girls that if I ever go to a party of any sort, then I would wear a dress… but considering my lack of confidence,” she laughed almost at herself as she remarks, “the self-positivity isn’t sufficient to the dress’s standards.”

Dimitri’s frown of disapproval at her words made her grimace in apology, but continued on, “I don’t like breaking a promise to them, but they’ve been waiting for a while! I guess what I’m trying to say is—”

“Mai.” Cupping her hands, Dimitri simply asks, “Do you not want to wear a dress for this event?”

There was a lull in their conversation as Mai mulled over her decision. The dress she had in mind came upon her when she went window shopping around town. It was the most gorgeous one that she laid her eyes on, and it fit her. She knew it did, going beyond her usual indecisiveness. But whether it was the huge price or the fact that her side eye caught girls who were much more aesthetically pleasing made her hesitant didn’t matter. She couldn’t bring herself to go inside. It took her so long until she went back into town for anything she might like.

With that in mind, she doesn’t want her efforts to go to waste.

“... No. I want… to wear it next time. Just not now,” Mai firmly answers. Nodding to herself, she confirmed that to be true.

“I’m sorry to disappoint though,” she apologizes.

After a chuckle left his lips, he muses, “I always believe you should be more concerned about me disappointing you.”

“Then it seems we’ve reached yet another impasse~” 

Their song and dance grew from a foundation of mutual self-deprecation. But it has gotten better over the time they spent together.

Mai huffs out a resolute breath. This was a night to have fun, and she’ll enjoy it the way she likes it to be. Plus, she made a compromise for when they celebrate the new year.

“Although I am a bit impatient, I will have the pleasure of being your official escort for the new year, my lady,” Dimitri jokes, standing up from her bed and holding her hand as if about to grace it with a kiss.

“Ha! You wish, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. Since I’ll be dressing up like a prince as well, I’m going to sweep you off your feet first, along with everyone else’s.”

With a triumphant grin, Mai dove into her closet and pulled out her shopping bag, jostling it excitedly. “And you’re going to get the first peek!”

---

The Night of the Yuletide Ball…

“Ooooh, it’s almost time! Where are they?!” Elizabeth paced to and fro at the front entrance. 

They stuck out a bit considering more and more party goers entered inside. Some of them were holding their catering to the party, as well quite the growing selection of drinks.

“Now now let’s not get your panties in a twist, dragon princess.” Yan Qing snickered at the indignant shriek that escaped her when she batted at his arm, to no avail.

In short, all of them were dressed up to a T. Danzo was ethereal elegance with her custom furisode kimono. Kotarou was leaning towards a more western tradition and was also adorned with a suit to wear, along with Yan Qing. Though the latter took liberties and neglected his tie, which was wrapped around one of his wrists as some sort of bracelet.

The rest of Mai’s company was already inside with their friends and family, having already notified her in advance they would enjoy time together within the building.

“Besides, aren’t you the one who usually goes for being fashionably late?”

“That’s because I can pull it off! No offense to our cute master, but she has the fashion sense of a potato. Full of hidden potential, but always makes herself look so plain.”

“Don’t be so mean, Eli! Master is a cute potato!” Nursery, her alias being Alice, pouted, crossing her arms dramatically that it made her hair and dress swish with her movements.

“... So you’re not denying Master is a potato then,” Danzo deadpans, her eyes widened slightly in confusion.

“Please. Can we not address Our Lord as a vegetable?”

“Phooey! That argument doesn’t sound so convincing when you’re, as what our feline master calls you, a hentai protagonist!” Elizabeth retorts.

Much to his chagrin, Fuuma’s face reddened. And Yan only laughed at their banter. But Abigail was still searching. She hopes that Mai was doing okay.

“Big sis…”

That was when a car screeched to a halt in the distance. Passerby blinked at the noise before continuing on.

Abigail’s smile widened as she points out the dashing figures coming closer to them.

“Ah!! It’s them! It’s them!!”

When they got close enough, Mai was struggling to button up her blazer while Dimitri was struggling with the chain from his brooch.

“Dima, make sure you pin it through the cloth carefully. Think of it like a clasp!”

“O-Okay!” A faint click! and his hands parted to reveal his lapels connected by a silver chain from the brooch of a lion. It seemed to gleam from its golden polish.

“There! I got it!”

“And we made it—Guys!! We’re here!”

Mai and Dimitri pant slightly as they stumbled to regain their posture.

“I’m so sorry! There was just so much traffic and I wouldn’t forgive myself if we got here any later. I broke a few traffic laws and didn’t get pulled over by a cop; it’s good,” Mai reported with a mock salute, sighing heavily as she heaved.

“Wait, you did what—?!”

“Master~! Great to see you showed up!” Yan greeted Mai with a warm hug, to which she reciprocated with a chuckle as he lifted her off her feet briefly before putting her down.

“It’s so great to be with you all. I’m actually really excited now,” Mai and Dimitri exchanged smiles before Nursery and Abigail exchanged squeals and giggles at Mai’s attire.

“Waaaah, a prince!! You really did come as a prince!” “So handsome~!”

She felt her face burn from the compliments.

“You think so? I’m glad! I didn’t want to mess anything up, so I did the best I could.” Of course, Mai smiled and bowed apologetically to Elizabeth, who pouted and crossed her arms, as well as tapping one of her feet against the ground. Of course she was the most disappointed…

“I’m really really sorry, Liz… After much consideration, I have a perfectly reasonable answer as to why I committed such treason to your promise,” Mai expresses solemnly.

The pinkette’s eyes squinted challengingly. “Oh? Well enlighten me, Master. What could you possibly have been thinking as to go against my wish this  season?” 

“Well… it’s because,” Walking so she was standing in front of the dragon girl, Mai knelt like a knight and folded an arm across her chest, taking one of Elizabeth’s hands in her other.

If Elizabeth wasn’t flustered before, she most certainly was now with her tail swishing erratically.

“Wh-wh-wh-what is the m-meaning of this?!” She squeaks, cheeks rosy red.

“You see… I know you don’t get many moments in life to be pampered properly. That’s just the reality of things… but I figured since you should get the full experience of being at a ball, I wanted to treat you like the princess you are deep down.”

“M-Master…” Elizabeth’s eyes widened as it seemed as if a glittering aura surrounded Mai’s composed, yet almost regal smile. Eyes that shone with clarity and affection.

“My lady, allow me the honor to give you all that I have for you to have a wonderful time tonight, with the moon as witness to my word—”

“Oh gosh!!” Elizabeth took her hand out of hers and puffed her chest out, closing her eyes and smiling proudly in an attempt to hide her giddiness.

“Well, when you put it that way, then who am I to deny my fellow vassal?! If only you were honest sooner, you had us unnecessarily worried you know~!”

While Elizabeth was getting lost in her head, cradling her reddened face in her hands, Mai stood up, turned around, and flashed a smug grin and a thumbs up.

Simple-gon, Yan’s dull eyes pierced into the back of Elizabeth’s skull before exchanging the same dead looks with the others, over the young girls’ heads.

With the exception of Dimitri, who laughed then cleared his throat before reminding, “We should all head inside now! We wouldn’t want to keep our awaiting company held up any longer than necessary.”

Smiling softly, Danzo carefully guided the still giggling Elizabeth in, everyone following after, chattering as they all entered through the door.

“It really does suit you, My Lord,” The female ninja nods primly. “You look very happy. I’m glad.” Beaming, Mai nods and bows as much as she could while walking. “Thank you, Danzo… I’m happy too. Very, very happy…”

Finally, they all  made it to the heart of the room, where the Yuletide festivities awaited them, with the rest of their companions.

“Now, I’m not sure about all of you, but I am ready to hit up the booze table—” “Yan, we just got here!” “Don’t worry Master~! You know my alcohol tolerance works wonders. I’ll even get you a glass too.”

“Oh my god—I have another year to go!!”

[prettyboylovemail]

Happy (late) Valentine’s Day, everyone 💕

This is a day of love and sharing love with the people you care about the most. I wish I had all the words to express how much love I have for all my f/os, but I really can’t portray how much I really feel for them. Also, this post would end up being far too long if I included every single one of my faves, so I only did it for my top 5 mains.

To Mello:

Happy Valentine’s Day. We had a rough start, didn’t we. And there were times I worried that you’d never understand the way I feel about you. Hell, there were times I worried I’d never even see you again, much less get the chance to tell you how I feel. But we made it. We’ve made it this far. We’ve made it another day. And every new day I spend with you is a blessing. Thank you for letting me stay by your side. I’ve loved you for so long, and I’m so happy to finally be able to share that love with you, and have you accept it from me. Thank you, Mello, for everything you’ve done for me. Without you, I probably wouldn’t be alive right now. But I’m here. We’re here. Together. I love you so much.

To Kazuaki:

Happy Valentine’s Day. So many days have passed since I first met you and that little schoolgirl crush I had on you back then has only had room to grow and blossom into something bigger and more beautiful. You’ve been through so much; we both have. But despite everything you’ve told yourself over the course of all these years, you are worthy of being loved. You can forgive yourself. You don’t need to keep holding on to all of the bad things you’ve done in the past. You’re going to be alright. I’m here for you. I always will be. And I’m going to remind you as many times as you need to hear it. I love you no matter what.

To Francis:

Happy Valentine’s Day. The day I laid eyes on you, my heart fluttered so much in my chest and I couldn’t help but wish to be the person you were smiling at. And by some miracle, that wish was granted. When you came over to me and asked me to dance, I couldn’t believe that out of everyone, you picked me. You chose me. And you’ve continued to choose me every single day and I’m beyond grateful for that. You make me feel like a princess every day and being together with you in Paris really is a dream come true. Je t’aime, mon amour.

To Osamu:

Happy Valentine’s Day. Every single day spent with you is another day filled with joy and laughter. You make me feel so giddy and happy whenever we are together and even though you go out of your way to embarrass me and some days, you annoy me beyond belief, I always find myself coming back to you. Some days, you frustrate me so much, but you always find a way to turn it around. And even on my worst days, you somehow make me smile again.

Even if you don’t see it, and you don’t believe you are a truly “good” person; even if you think all of your shenanigans are fake and only a means to cover up your “real nature”, that’s not true at all. No person is without their faults and their own personal dark side. But I can see that you are such a genuinely charming and friendly person that everyone you know is naturally drawn to you. The friends you have made at the Agency, the people who look up to you and respect you, the relationships you’ve made with me, and with our family, they are all real. They are all a real part of you. That’s what makes you human and worthy of life. And I’m so happy to be the person who you can share all of yourself with, the good parts and the bad. I love you. So much. I love you.

And finally, To Valentine:

What can I say that I haven’t already said a million times before?

This is our 3rd Valentine’s Day spent together and 2 full years have gone by since we first said our wedding vows. That doesn’t seem like a long time in retrospect, considering you’ve been alive for literal centuries, but for me, this is a milestone. I treasure every single day spent with you and not a day has gone by where I’m not reminded of why I fell in love with you and how lucky I am to be your wife.

The fact that out of the billions of people in the world, the countries you’ve visited, the things you’ve seen, they all led you to me. Whether it be coincidence, or fate, or whatever else... all of the experiences we’ve had in our lives brought us together in the most mundane of ways, and yet, led us to this moment. Whenever I think about just how happenstance it was that we were in the same place at the same time, that you happened to see me and come over to speak to me, that we happened to see each other again, that I happened to become your Eve, and that I happened to fall in love with you and you, with me. It all just fell into place so naturally that I couldn’t believe how easy it was to fall in love with you. And the fact that you fell in love with me too is beyond my wildest dreams.

You truly are my soulmate and I would give anything, even my own mortality, my own life, to be with you forever. I don’t want you to ever be alone ever again. I don’t want you to ever feel helpless without me. I know time heals, and one day, centuries after I’m gone, you’ll move on. You might remember me and the time we spent here together, or maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll find someone else who will fall in love with you. But as long as I’m beside you, you won’t have to feel the pain of missing me, even for a moment. So I’m determined to make sure that doesn’t happen, as selfish as that sounds.

So as another year goes by, I want to remind you every single day of how much I love you and how grateful I am to be by your side. There isn’t a thing in this world that is as precious to me as you and the time we spend together.

Happy Anniversary, my darling, and Happy Valentine’s Day 💕

[universal-kitty]

To Kat - From Wrench

   This originally was on my IC F/Os blog, @/soulmatesthrough-death! (Now being deleted.) However... I didn’t wanna forget about it and delete it. :>

   So here it is! Reposted for me to save. Originally written on: July 11th, 2018 (So before we got married.)

So my wonderful, awe-inspiring, jaw-droppingly hot-as-hell fiance made a post about me once. Saying all this cute, gushy shit about us and how she felt and how I rocked her world, and… I wanna do the same thing for her. I want to show her through a lil’ text post what she’s done for my life, so… Yeah, I hope this does that.

(I’m not too stellar at words. I thought we’ve been over this before?)

So, yeah. I’ve had a not-too-great history. Crushes on people that didn’t work out, I got bullied for my birthmark… Family life was shit. That’s all I’m gonna say on that.

But meeting her? It’s…kinda wild to think I might not have gotten that chance. Our meeting all hinged on Marcus being an absolute doofus and…it worked out. I met some obnoxious, strange little weirdo with a cat-obsession- of all the fucking things- and…. She changed my fucking life.

Because of this chick? I found myself okay with the idea of cats! Me!!! I hate animals!!!!! Absolutely loathed them until she came around all doe-eyed for every kitten she saw on the street or in a window or at the local pet shelter that I just… I’ve given up. If having a cat is what makes my baby happy, I’ll get like….ten cats for her.

I wanted- nah, want- to get married. Shit, we’re gonna get married in the winter of this year. We’ve known each other for 6 months? Gonna get married- most likely- before the year is out??? We’re literally that crazy for each other and I just-

Who else drives me this wild? Who else am I gonna put up with a little, showy ceremony for our friends just cause she wants to?? Fuck!!! She drives me crazy in so many ways, but they’re all good!!!!!!

I mean, yeah, she can get me pissed off sometimes, too. I want adventure, she wants safe at home. Or if she goes with me, she wants to cut off the party early. My temper flares up and I go onto something she feels is an attack to her and we get into a screaming match like none other.

…But it’s like I said earlier. She’s my baby. My kitten. I don’t… I don’t ever want to hurt her. I dunno what to do if she left. I’d figure it out, probably, but I don’t want that? I want a life with Kat in it- my babygirl Rach- and…. Shit, I don’t want to ever hurt her enough to have her leave me.

So those apologies, the talks after the fights… It means the entire world to me. I don’t know if she knows this, but… It does. It means the whole world that she tries again, that she gets me to sit and work this all out and not just…. Fly the handle, too. I get…really upset with that? That she’s always the level-headed one and I’m the lost puppy, trotting after??

But she says it reminds her a little of one of her other shows. One of ‘em is angry a lot, the other is super calm an’ collected… Once I figure myself out, she “assured” that I’ll get my chance. (Weird to consider, but she’s probably right. She has lots of stressful days, too. I do my best, but I still feel like I’m flying in the dark, tho. I just hope I’m…doing something right.)

More importantly! She’s my fucking fiancee!!! She wants to have a life together with me on some…dumb slip of paper! I don’t even know where I placed the papers for my middle and last names, but… Look, given I can’t find ‘em, I’ll take her last name, no prob. I’m just thrilled out of my entire wardrobe that she even said yes.

A whole lifetime of being hitched to some fuckwad like me… I can’t believe it sometimes. But she carries the ring with her everywhere, so!!! Definitely not a dream!! And I hold her to sleep every night!!!!

I’m…honestly planning a little surprise for her (and no, babe; you don’t get to know what it is) and I hope she likes it, but…. Damn, yeah.

Besides, she’s been teasing me about something planned for our first year together. Won’t tell me what THAT is, either. So rude! Oh well, I love her. I’ll cover her face in kisses until that sinks in, PLUS the fact she’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen and I think she’s gorgeous in every way possible.

Aaaaaaaannnnnndddd I think that about covers it! Babe, if you’re reading this? I love you so much, Kat- my Rach. You’re my wonderful kitten and I hope that…I really make you happy enough to want to stay with ‘til death does us part and…probably beyond that. Cause sappy shit as it is….. You’re right. I didn’t believe in soulmates ‘til I met you. Now there’s nowhere else I wanna be.

You made a sap outta me! I hope you’re proud!!! Now Imma go give you cuddles so you can finally sleep, baby~ (<3  <3)

–> 🔧Wrench!🔧

[aisuho]

Steam Prison

So, recently I’ve started to play and finished Steam Prison. Steam Prison is an “otome” Visual Novel. A word of warning: the game has some heavy content (as in violence, not sex per se), so can be a little... well.

You start with the MC talking about scenting the smell of blood, which leads to the scene of her holding a knife, clothes all stained as she looks herself in the mirror, in shock. Then you go back 2 days before the events, learning more about the protagonist, the country (Heights) and their government (the Temple).

The first route I played was Eltcreed’s (part of the Bodyguard Route).

I’ve played most of my first route without a guide, but by the end of it I started following Rezareth’s, as I was afraid of missing something. The order of the routes she gives is Eltcred->Ulrik->Adage->Ines->Yune->Grand Ending, which seems the best order considering the info you learn in each of them. Also, be aware that you can’t play Yune’s without seeing one of Ulrik’s ending first, and can’t play the Grand Ending without catching ‘em all.

Bodyguard Route, Eltcreed and Ulrik.

In the Bodyguard Route you get to live as Eltcreed’s bodyguard, so you don’t get to see much of Sanctuary District nor its characters. However, you get a lot of info about the Heights and the world beyond the walls of the District Sanctuary, as well as Eltcreed and Ulrik’s characters.

Eltcreed Valentine

Starting with Eltcreed, he was the first route I played. He’s an eccentric character, the kind of double-edged sword --  he can be funny, light and a flirt, but also cold and strategist. Also, he loves the Heights and is really into fairytales. Honestly, he is my least favorite; mostly because throughout his route he is really pushy (he forcefully kisses her a relative amount of times); alas, him calling her Kishi-sama (Knight) all the time can be tiresome.

Here is where the MC is the dumbest... She really annoyed me because she was clueless about everything. I mean, I get it that love is forbidden in the Heights and all that, but she is just too dense...

He has kind of two “happy” endings, both are satisfying and different, which makes it hard for me to choose which one I prefer.

Eltcreed’s route is also where you’re first introduced to one of the other bachelor’s (if you don’t go to the Prisoner Route first): Adage; I will get more into it later. And where you get your first look on Fin as a bad guy...! Most of the bad endings throughout all the routes are related to him, and they can be heavy. Like, really heavy. Although you don’t get much of him in the Bodyguard’s route, which is why I’ll keep my intakes about him as a character for later.

[Spoilers about Eltcreed’s route]

Honestly, I was kind of disappointed because the assassination of MC’s parents are kind of swept under the rug; you learn nothing about the case itself and is left with lots os unanswered questions, which was very frustrating for me. Another thing that made uncomfortable was Merlot and Rielith’s being totally forgotten whatsoever. You only hear about them again if you get one of the bad endings (that ending gave me shivers), so...

About his two “happy” endings, I think his maxed affection ending (“My Queen”) makes me a little uncomfortable given that you side with the Hounds (specially Sachsen) in order to restore the peace. To be honest, that didn’t bothered me much at first, but after finishing the game and seeing so much of Sachsen’s actions my opinion towards him is the lowest possible, so it made me mad to side with him and totally overlook everything he has done. Saying that, I much prefer the “The Lasting Future” ending, which gives a better closure overall, specially when taking into account that it addresses the Depths-Heights topic.

Other than that, I really enjoyed learning more about the Depths and more about the two main characters in this route: Ulrik and Eltcreed. I really enjoying their interaction/bickering, it was really funny to watch.

Nonetheless, it was a fun route play, and I liked it, although the matter of Tisselas’ murder being totally pushed to the side really bothered me.

Anyway, I take Eltcreed’s Route as an introduction to the game’s lore, specially all the Depths-Heights trouble, it made great work of that part, as it’s the only route where you get so deep into their story and culture, so it should really be played first.

Ulrik Ferrie

Damn, what can I say about Ulrik’s Route...

I need to say first-hand that he was my favorite character until then, but his route was just... lacking. It felt weird because throughout Eltcreed’s he is snarky, but in a fun way. However, when you come to his own route he is totally rude towards the MC and barely makes any effort to improve his relationship. He was giving me so much cold-shoulder that I felt that I wasn’t even playing his route at all.

Ulrik’s route felt really disconnected from everything else in the game, like, forget (again) about MC’s parents, the Hounds, or Rielith and Merlot. Forget about Fin, also; as far as I remember he barely (if even) appears here.

Ulrik has his own issues to solve and his route is all about that. One of his endings is important, as you get some relevant info and it is necessary to unlock Yune’s route. On the bright side, you go deep into his character’s story, and his family.

[Spoilers about Ulrik’s]

Vice should have been more explored in other routes, I mean, he appears in Eltcreed’s if you don’t go to the Heights, but that’s all. When I first saw him there, I was like... “who the f* are you?” And they he went and killed Fin... -_-

Don’t get me wrong, I liked that Vice and Rafele group weren’t as dumb as Ulrik first thought, but the fact that they are barely mentioned otherwise felt like wasted potential.

MC also needs a lot of rescue here, to the point that was kind of “damn, how can you be a bodyguard if you’re the one needing saving all the time”.

Ulrik’s ending “The Final Page” was the first one I saw in his route, and made me profoundly sad. I just wanted to hug him, but stupid MC was dead already. (-_-) That CG, though...!

The “Words Unspoken” ending was just... stupid. This is where I became really annoyed over Ulrik’s route, because his character/personality was just so... not there. I mean, he was like a spoiled brat, and it became so frustrating for me. It made hard to believe he was a spy.

My biggest trouble with Ulrik’s, however, is not his badly developed personality or character, but Eltcreed... At this point I was so mad with Eltcreed having so much spotlight that I started disliking him. I mean, in the end, it was Eltcreed who saved the day, like... wtf? Dude, can’t you stop being so egocentric for a moment and let the others shine?

Ulrik’s happy ending was cute but still not quite there.

I felt that Ulrik showed more emotion in Eltcreed’s bad ending, “Goodbye, My Knight” (aka Ulrik’s ending), than anywhere else in his own route (which made me even bitter).

Prisoner Route, Adage and Ines

The Prisoner Route is where you refuse Ulrik proposal and choose to stay in the Sanctuary District. This is where your lingering questions are answered, too.

In my opinion, this is where the MC really shines!

Adage

At this point I wasn’t looking forward to play Adage route. Firstly because I was really sore over Ulrik’s, second was because I didn’t know anything about the character except that he was a doctor. But boy, wasn’t I in for a surprise...!

Adage’s route is the heaviest, for many reasons... It’s really dark and sad, even the happy endings are sad. Everything is sad. I mean it.

After this, he became my favorite character, and his route was also my favorite. I liked it so much that I’m thinking of replaying it, just because... feels!

Adage is a little quiet, but is sharp and straightforward, he is a very intriguing character, overall. His voice is very deep and soothing, which added greatly to his character, sounding very mature and fitting overall.

[Spoilers for Adage’s]

Ok! MC is her best here, she starts working and learns to do some things like tending the garden, cooking and even some basic medicine skills. She also has a strong personality, because Adage pushes her to her limits (boy, didn’t I love that outburst?). He also doesn’t let her go into that “I don’t know love” bs, because he is so straightforward with her...!

I also liked how she reacts to his father’s issues. It felt way more mature than how she handled Ulrik.

His route is full of golden scenes (totally spot-on, I loved it):  the first kiss, the fight in his house and even that feeding scene...! My only complaint was the fact that the happy ending kind of dragged itself longer than it should have, which made it less powerful, but it still didn’t affect the route’s vibes in general.

The bad endings were sad and brutal... I felt really sorry for Adage and was creeped out by Glissade. It was so disturbing that at some point I started seeing demon eyes every time Glissade appeared.

Not to mention, Adage’s route is where you find out the person behind MC’s parents’ death (but not who executed them). Here you also discover what Fin was up to all the time. Damn you, Glissade!

It wasn’t easy to endure all the pain and brutality in Adage’s Route, but I think it was well written and the character was concise throughout it. You also receive a lot of answers here, which made it even more enjoyable.

Ines

Ines is the stiff vice commander of the Hounds, he’s calm and cool headed. You can get some light of his character in Adage’s route, as he appears there quite a few times.

His route is where MC gets by mostly by herself. She lives alone in Rielith and Merlot’s house, and has to overcome the grief to make a living.

[Spoilers about Ines]

His route was a light one, more romance and less drama. It was fun to get some info about not only his past, but also Sanchsen and the Hounds’.

It wasn’t clear to me if Ines liked MC until near the end of the route. As I got the bad ending “The Fangs of a Hound” first, I could see the extent of Ines feelings, which was very well delivered by his Voice Actor! This was where I started liking the character better too (he was kind of neutral for me before that).

Ines’ happy ending was one of the best. To me that was a true happy ending, given that it also seemed to shine a light and bring peace to Fin. It also removes Sachsen, although I don’t like how in the end his death made he be treated as some sort of good character. Don’t get me wrong, I know he had some traumas due to Theia’s death, BUT, I can’t feel sorry for him after everything I had seen him do, specially towards Fin.

Given all of the revelations how MC and Ines are connected, it felt to me that their love was the “Fate drives us together”/“Forgotten first meeting” trope-thing.

Oh, I really liked his interaction with Saint Yune! It was nice to see him fluster and break that stiff shell, it really added to his character.

As your lingering question about MC’s parents death are answered, this is a good Route to leave last (still before Yune’s). As I said, it was a light and slow paced story, I don’t like that the romance was very roundabout, but this doesn’t make it less enjoyable.

Servant Route and Yune

Forget everything about going to the Depths! Here, you escape from being exiled and instead has to serve Saint Yune as his attendant.

Yune’s route reminded me of Ulrik’s, not because of the frustration, but because it felt more disconnected from the game itself, like having its own plot to go. I honestly had mixed feelings about it. Yune looks like a teenage, and that made me really uncomfortable overall. It was hard to ignore that and keep reminding myself that he is in fact hundreds of years old.

You go deep into learning his story too, his relation with the Ferrie and how he became a saint. It was nice to see more abou the flood, and how the Heights came to be.

[Spoilers about Yune Route]

Ok! The stone of God thing was kind of weird... it added a supernatural element that doesn’t seem complacent with the vibe of the game, which was why I said it felt really disconnected from everything else.

I had some trouble also understanding if Yune really liked MC. I mean, he was so absorbed on his plan of dying that it made me confused -- did he really like her or was he just using her to reach his goal? Nonetheless, the bad ending didn’t contribute to dispelling my doubts... as he just kind of kills her without more or less.

I get it that he did indeed like MC, but for me their romance wasn’t quite there yet, so it was hard to get attached to the character.

Another thing that troubled me was when you have the option to speak or not to Fin, as I was going towards the bad ending first, I followed the guide and chose not to speak with him. However, the story kept going and even led to more choices afterwards, which left me wondering all the time if I had made the wrong choice. In the end, I did get the bad ending first (”A thread unbroken”), but it took quite long to achieve it.

His happy ending, though... what was that? As I played, I thought I had made a mistake again, because I was thinking it was going towards a bad ending. I gotta clarify here that I didn’t choose all his positive answers (I chose “He is important to me” when he asked me about Fin, hihi), so there was that... Anyway, his happy ending felt really sad and left me with many questions. Like, what happened to the Heights after his death?

However, I did enjoy both his “Lingering scent” and “Let’s meet again” endings. They did gave some closure and were well delivered.

It wasn’t all bad, I liked Yune as a character, but not as a love interest.

Grand Ending

After you achieve all the character’s endings, you have the choice to play the Grand Ending, in which MC’s parents are alive and well, you’re not exiled and whatnot.

[Spoilers]

Well, this was it. It was enjoyable to see the interaction between all the characters, and everyone played somewhat of a role here, even Fin. It left me wishing that we could have seen more interaction between them in other routes too.

However, I felt that lots of things were left unsolved. Yeah, MC had her true happy ending, her parents were alive, she became important, the Heights and Depths relationship was going well and all that, but... having played through all the routes and seeing everything about the other’s characters made it feel like they deserved more. Ulrik didn’t come to terms with his trusting issues, Adage didn’t really solve his own problems with his father, Ines never investigated his partner’s death, Yune never went after his mortality... so lots of loose ends.

Another thing I’d like to point out is how MC’s parents suddenly vanish. Like, without any explanation whatsoever. Although one of the characters (I don’t remember which one) suggests that they may have been arrested or even found shelter somewhere else, even after the confusion is solved, they are never mentioned again. Not even when Yune dissolves the Assembly.

I would’ve liked if you still had some choice of romance here, specially given that Heights laws about love were dissolved, and you were now free to choose whoever. Still, MC never matured, she still knew nothing about romance, so... it felt like there was no character development whatsoever.

Bonus: Fin Eclause

[Spoilers for all routes]

Fin! I have very mixed feelings about Fin. He was my favorite character, and I felt he deserved to be better treated. He is at the same time simple and complex, because he had very complicated feelings and didn’t know how to control them. He matured in a bad way, was badly mistreated and lost all he had except his feelings for MC. MC was what kept his little humanity alive.

Every time Fin appeared onscreen it left me with a profound sadness. I was so depressed to see he go through all he went over and over again... The Grand Ending didn’t really help too, he was temporally promoted to chief of the police then demoted again. He was only able to confess his feelings when he was dying, and not even in the Grand Ending his feelings were let known.

The way Sachsen kept abusing him was one of the reasons I never could forgive or get over his demeanor.

I know that in the Vita version he is a love interest but... I won’t be able to play it, so I’m kind of bitter over it all.  Not to mention, from what I gathered, in his route he takes your place as an exiled. I would’ve liked to see both routes: one where he is in the Hounds and another where he is a prisoner. Honestly, I’m curious to see how his relationship with the MC would’ve developed in both scenarios.

Final thoughts

I really enjoyed the game, but now that I’ve finished it I have that sensation of “what now?”... I hope I can play the Vita version one day and get Fin’s route, as I don’t think it’ll come to PC version.

MC seemed to have a better personality in some routes than others. Ulrik’s route for me was a little disappointing, but I still like the character very much.

I felt like the plot was good, but felt little developed in some routes.

Maybe I’ll play Adage’s route again, because I enjoyed it very much.

My favorite characters are: Fin->Adage->Ulrik->Ines->Saint Yune->Eltcreed.

And my favorite routes are: Adage->Ines->Eltcreed->Saint Yune->Ulrik.

I’d like to state that everything I’ve said is only my opinion as a person and a player. In no way I was looking to offend anyone. You’re free to disagree as you may see fit.

[sage-nebula]

Ash and Alan for the headcanons meme please!

Ash’s got really long, so could you send me Alan’s in a second one? I want to make sure I give both boys the attention they deserve. Thanks!

A.) What I think realistically:

Though it may not seem like it due to all the time he spends traveling and how little time he spends at home, Ash is actually very attached to and protective of his mother, and (though he tends to keep this buried down and doesn’t let it show) resentful of his father for walking out on them. Ash and his mother have never had very much money; they have a nice, small house in Pallet Town, but luxuries were definitely scarce and despite Delia doing her best with her restaurant*, she’s still a single parent with a single income who became a single parent when she was eighteen years old. It’s been hard on her, despite how upbeat she stays in order to make sure her son doesn’t worry, and as dense as he might seem at times, Ash did pick up on this over the years. He could tell when his mom was stressed, could tell when she was tired because she had to work a full shift plus take care of him, and while Delia always assured him that his dad was a wonderful trainer who would be so proud of him and who loved him so much, Ash couldn’t help but feel like if his dad really loved him---or either of them, really---then he would have been there, rather than off . . . wherever he is, in the world. (Of course, then Ash feels rather defiantly that they don’t need his dad anyway, that they’re doing just fine without him and he can shove off and stay wherever he is, but all the same.)

This has, in a way, informed the way he reacts to other deadbeat parents in the series. When he meets Brock’s father---or rather, when he realizes that Flint is Brock’s father---he says rather bluntly, “You mean you’re the good-for-nothing father who left home and never came back?!” (He was also clearly affected by Flint’s story of Brock’s parental abandonment, saying, “I better not listen to anymore sad stuff, or the next time I face Brock I might not have the heart to beat him” and openly questioned why Flint helped him instead of his own son.) Likewise, it takes him three whole episodes (and being directly told) that Sabrina’s father is, well, her father, as if the idea of an absent father coming back isn’t one that easily occurs to him (though he does accept Sabrina’s father coming back with happiness, perhaps because he knows that Sabrina’s father didn’t exit her life willingly). Ash isn’t against the idea of absent parents coming back, and seems to step back and let the kid in question handle the situation, but I think that if he was confronted by his own father, his feelings would be a lot more conflicting, oscillating between a desire to get to know his father, as well as a lot of anger at the man for walking out on him and his mother and leaving them to fend for themselves.

Nonetheless, back to the original point---because Delia is the one who always raised him, always took care of him, always loved him and did her best by him no matter what, Ash is quite attached to her, and rather protective of her as well. He’s a total and complete momma’s boy, and I feel that few things illustrate this as clearly as how much he went goddamn berserk when Entei kidnapped her in Spell of the Unown. As far as Ash is concerned, the Ketchum family is just the two of them (and their pokémon) and that’s fine. They’re great the way they are. And no one better mess with his mom under threat of serious harm. Of that, he swears.

(*It was mentioned in Shuudo’s novelizations, I believe, that Delia owns and operates a restaurant in Pallet Town. We never once see this in the anime itself, but I like to imagine that it’s there nonetheless, since otherwise I’m not sure where she gets any money from, given that I highly doubt Ash’s father sends child support checks.)

B.) What I think is fucking hilarious:

He sleep talks! This is actually canon, to a degree; we see him sleep talking in the very first episode, as he’s dreaming over which starter pokémon he’s going to pick. However, it delves into headcanon territory when you consider that Ash can have entire nonsensical conversations while completely asleep. That is, if you overhear him sleep talking, you can ask him a question to prod him along that sleepy train of thought and he will answer. Sometimes this means that he gives a spiel on how all the pokémon that are thought to come from space, such as clefairy, actually came up from the ocean, because the ocean has a portal to space at the very bottom that no one has ever seen because people can’t swim down that far. Or maybe he questions on the nature of pokémon like cherrim, who are clearly pokémon, but who are also fruit. Where does the fruit end and the pokémon begin? asks actually asleep Ash Ketchum. These are Very Serious™ conversations that he, while asleep, takes Very Very Seriously™, but when he wakes up in the morning he’ll have absolutely no recollection that they ever happened.

(One time Iris and Cilan recorded one such conversation just to have proof it happened. That time it was about how ditto could be anywhere at any time and you’d never know because they use Transform, and how they were all probably surrounded by ditto at all times, and probably they were even ditto and didn’t know because somehow the ditto had impersonated them so well that even they, themselves, were fooled. Listening to this at breakfast the next morning, Ash didn’t even know how to begin explaining what he was rambling on about in his sleep.)

C.) What is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

It’s not really a conscious thought, but in the back of his mind Ash rather assumes that, at some point or another, pretty much everyone will end up leaving him.

His dad was never present in his life, so that’s one thing---but although they were friends in childhood, Gary inexplicably turned on him one day and became his bully instead. Butterfree left to go start a family. He thought Pikachu wanted to leave, but thankfully that wasn’t the case (and never will be). Brock left to go stay with Professor Ivy for a while, and only came back when something happened that he refused to tell Ash about, but as soon as he came back, Tracey decided to leave, staying with Professor Oak instead. Lapras returned to her family, Pidgeot stayed in the woods outside Pallet Town, Charizard decided to stay in the Charicific Valley, only visiting occasionally . . . and the real kicker came when it was time for Misty to leave, going back home to Cerulean and leaving him to continue on by himself.

Ash knows that, in many of these cases, the circumstances are beyond his friends’ control. And it’s not like he never sees them again; they call, they write letters, they visit sometimes, they keep in touch. But that doesn’t make the goodbyes any harder, nor does it stop it from wedging a little note in the back of his mind whenever he meets a new traveling companion that this is only temporary, sooner or later they’re going to leave, better start preparing now for when that happens later. When Misty and Brock left him at the end of the OS, he broke down crying before bolting back to Pallet. After that, the successive goodbyes became easier, because although he bonds and is close with all of his new friends, there’s always a sort of subconscious bit of distance there where he knows that this is not forever, so he better not get attached like it is. (It’s also why, especially with his pokémon, he often makes the choice to leave them before they can say they’re leaving him. We see this with Pikachu, and Charizard, too. At least this way he can tell himself that it’s not really that they’re leaving him; he’s leaving them, for their own good. They’ll be happier this way. And it’s in his control, it’s in his power, he’s not being abandoned, he’s not, he’s making this choice, all on his own.) It gets to the point where, at the end of his Kalos journey, he announces he’s going back to Pallet Town before anyone else has shared their plans with him (at least, I’m pretty sure this was before Serena had decided what it was she was going to do and announced her intentions on going to Hoenn). Aside from just being rather Done™ with Kalos after everything that entire journey consisted of (not just the Flare arc danger, but all the pressure that came with being idolized all the time, et cetera), he decided to say goodbye on his own and go home since he could tell that was coming anyway. He made the decision before the others could, because again: he’s choosing to leave this way, not the other way around.

And again: Ash still loves all of his friends and pokémon, still cares for them all deeply, there’s no doubt about that. And he doesn’t consciously think about the fact that they’ll leave, but . . . that’s still there, in the back of his mind, and as such it’s something he starts preparing himself for as his journey goes on and he magnetically attracts new companions after stepping foot in a new region. Yeah, he attracts friends like static cling, but static wears off after awhile, and so does their time together. By this point, Ash has just rather resigned himself to it, even if only subconsciously.

D.) What would never work in canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

So I have two of these. One is one that I’m sure most people would agree with, and the other is one that I’m sure most people would feel really “?!?!” about.

The one that I feel most people would agree with is that I like to imagine a timeline of Ash aging, simply because although I know the reason why he stays ten, and though I know that the anime exists in a sort of time bubble where time passes but no one ages, it’s still hard for me to reconcile the fact that, from Ash’s perspective, he actually hasn’t been on this journey for years, despite everything that he has done over the course of all the sagas. The reboot of his personality in SM aside, I really feel as if he was characterized like he was 13/14 in XY(&Z), with 13 erring on the young side. He certainly acted more mature than Manon, who we know is ten because she had just started on her journey. (And note: I do not mean this as a dig at Manon, I merely mean that she acted her age whereas Ash did not act his supposed age.) And while Serena had also just started out, we know that she had no interest in journeying until she saw Ash on TV, so it would be believable that perhaps she just started late and was also about 13/14 (hence also why she’s a lot more open about her crush than previous girls---she has a few added years of extra maturity). So the fact that Serena is also more mature than Manon doesn’t discount the idea that Ash didn’t act like he was ten, but instead acted like he was older.

So the way that I look at it is like this: According to the information given in Shuudo’s novelizations, Ash would have turned eleven about a month after setting off from Pallet Town. (His birthday is May 22nd, and Shuudo’s novelizations said that kids leave on their journeys the first April after they turn ten, no doubt based on the Japanese school system.) The line about it being a year since they were last in Viridian City in “Battle of the Badge” is dub-only, but if we take it for the sake of having some sort of measurable timeline, then we can say that by the time the Kanto League takes place, Ash is newly twelve. After that, given how short the Orange Islands season is, maybe it only takes about two or three months (there was a lot of Surfing, okay), so Ash is still twelve by the time he goes to Johto.

Now, this is where things get a bit more difficult, because each of the following sagas was really, really long (far longer than either Kanto or Orange), and even if we do “one year per journey,” Ash would end up being seventeen by the time Kalos rolls around, and no matter how mature he is in XY(&Z), there’s no way that I can buy that he is seventeen. None. (And not even because of maturity, but because . . . look at him. He should be far closer to Alan’s height if he was an older teenager. Hell, he’d be older than Alan if he was seventeen, so like . . . thirteen/fourteen is believable. Seventeen is not.) So I’m really not sure how to make that work, for him to still only be, say, fourteen by the time he reaches Kalos despite how long the Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova sagas are, but at least making him fourteen by Kalos is more believable than ten, so I think that finagling can be forgiven.

As for the other, “?!?!” one . . . okay, hear me out. What if---and stay with me, guys, bear with me on this---what if . . . Ritchie was his half-brother somehow.

I mean, think about it! They look startlingly alike! They act similar, though Ritchie is more polite and far more of a gentleman. (Would be Serena’s actual dream guy tbh. Plot twist, Ash didn’t remember the summer camp because it was Ritchie she met there and not him.) Ash’s dad is not in the picture, so it’s not out of the question that he could have had another son with a different woman. The only issue is that they’re close in age, but you never know: maybe he walked out on Delia because he had an affair with someone else. It’s possible!!

Anyway, that’s just a crack theory and not a real headcanon, but it’s one I sometimes like to imagine nonetheless. :P

[universal-kitty]

12, 13 and 14 for the self insert meme! 💖🌟[theheckhole]

Questions for the Self-Shipper@theheckhole    12. Name a few of your favorite things about self shipping.

   Oh man, there’s a lot, but... I suppose to start, it’s just the general air of positivity? Cause I’ve mentioned it before, but self-shipping really is just a community that’s built around happiness and encouraging each other and that’s-!! Really awesome!!!

   There’s also the little community events (like the Takeover), the prompts/ask memes.... So many little things that really get me thrilled about interacting and posting in relation to self-ship!!

   Though my top favorite thing....is how it’s since inspired me to continue to be a better person. First through fiction and now into reality itself. I’ve long since been needing that push, and finding out there’s a community, being open about my faves, and generally just....realizing things along the way with my F/Os has made it so I can really start improving myself more and more.

   And that’s my favorite thing on self-shipping!!

13.Talk about a positive experience you’ve had with the community.

   Hmmm.... That’s a...little difficult to say these days, considering that I’ve been keeping to my own corner more than anything else, but...

   I suppose in particular I could mention the feeling I got knowing that this post of mine was spreading. It was very emotion-heavy for me, so... Honestly, I got a little emotional when people started reblogging it! (In a good way, btw; that post definitely needed to make the rounds.)

   I kinda see myself as the Cryptid Mom to the community, in a way, sldkfjghfjdk. I’m here, I care about you dearly, but you’re still only very likely to find me at the edge of a heavily wooded forest...or in the little gifts I leave for you to find and have happiness in.

   I dunno, I’m sleepy right now and very much love and care for this community. Just being here is a treat in itself and I’m glad I’ve opened up my blog to the tags and have ended up making more friends in the process~

14.Finally, talk about a few of your favorite self shippers!! (Honestly, talk about as many as you would like!)

   IT’S TIME!!! Prepare for gushing....

@madames-sweethearts- Practically either my own twin or sister, I swear. This magical bean has been a major support in the time that I’ve known them and a comfort in things I want to do, too. We share F/Os, we gush about them together on Discord... All around a lovely person~

@theheckhole- Of course I’m gonna mention you again, D! I’m so glad to know you and be able to support your ship...and writing for you is an absolute treasure. I wouldn’t have it any other way, honestly. You’re awesome!!!

@ginger-sparked- We met because of Thanos and I intend to continue supporting you from there and beyond!!! No matter what your content is, I intend to support it! You’re a doll and I hope ya know that~

@myrainydayloves- Your Sho posting? Adorable. Happy Birthday, along with!! And just.... I already “owe” you for starting the awesome event that was the F/O Takeover, but what really got to me was when you stopped by to make sure I was okay and not like...super wigging out or anything. And that means so much to me!!! Thank you so much!! You’re amazing!!!

@queenieships- Honestly? I adored your blog from the second I first saw your art in the Borderlands SI tag. Someone who ships with Scooter?? I was instantly curious! Wanted to talk with you more!!! ....I suck at doing that, but I still absolutely adore your art and definitely would like to commission you someday~ / w \

@tia-uchiha- Alright... Who would I be to leave out my other sis? The one who’s a hyperactive nerd, but I still would take a bullet for?? Tia, we gotta hang out sometime. And we need to dork out about our F/Os complete with art-spam. Just have a good time, like old times. You’re so awesome and only getting better at everything you do, from art to makeup. Go get ‘em!!!

@catherine-the-artistic- Now for my literal family.... My cousin. Coolest artist, love hearing her ideas, and the one who makes my ideas like....50x cooler just by sketching them. Consider me the writer, the basic sketch artist... She’s the one making the final products!!! Just....amazing all around. (And gurl, we BETTER be seeing each other soon!! We gotta hang out more!!!! I miss tf outta you!!!)

@atmospheric-light- I wanted to give you a little shoutout as....I don’t believe we’ve ever really talked, but I also wanted to say that I enjoy seeing you on my dash and in my activity page! Your URL suits you perfectly, as you really are a little light for this community, in my opinion~!