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heartofsnark · 4 years ago

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He’s Not Real, She’s Not Pretending (Johnny Silverhand/OC Female V)

Notes; Sooooooo, I’m posting porn for a game that won’t be out in 20 days, that I just started to seriously look at 2 days ago, but ummmm Johnny Silverhand like fuck man. He’s living rent free in my head both in game and irl. I already have an oc and I really wanted some fuck, so my V is named Aidan, she is a baby and a a slut in this context. This is completely based off oh hey, if we fuck in game, and Johnny in brain, Johnny watch us fuck. And then it spiraled.

Word Count: 4303

Chapter Warnings: Voyeurism, Unprotected Oral Sex, Blowjobs, Cum Swallowing, Protected Vaginal Sex, One Night Stand/Semi Anonymous Sex, Calling out the wrong name, MMF Threesome, but like while he gets laid Johnny is like lowkey cucking this guy but he don’t even know cause he can’t see the man cucking him, its weird, metal fingers on clit, like that’s a thing here, cumming on someone/semi-facial???? And the weirdest thing to explain is like, she’s deaf and takes out her hearing aids, so she’ll only hear johnny since he’s in her head that bypasses hearing damage, so like, disability device being removed for sex????? What is this??? Who knows?????

Edit: I HAD A FUCKIN SENIOR CITIZEN MOMENT AND FORGOT TO MENTION; @enchantedbythebidders IS ALSO TO BLAME BECAUSE SHE HELPED PUT THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD, SO THIS IS NOT ALL MY FAULT!

“Really, this guy?” Johnny scoffs and rolls his eyes, leaning against the bar. Aidan is once again somewhat thankful that no one else can hear the long dead Rockstar that lives in her head.

She pretends she doesn’t hear him either, despite him being the one voice other than her own who she can hear no matter what. The man standing in front of her is attractive, as far as she’s concerned, over 6ft with plenty of muscle and some cybernetics glinting against the side of his shaved head. The alcohol in her system has made it easier to ignore Johnny, but it brings the reason she’s here to the forefront of her mind.

Aidan needs to get laid, plain and simple. She hasn’t had a proper orgasm since Johnny started living rent free in her head. There’s a certain level of embarrassment at just how easily and maybe even unavoidably peeps on her. He pops visibly into the world whenever he feels convienet, for him that is, and seems to make a habit of making sure she knows he’s there when she’s in some state of undress. Johnny’s watched her change without a hint of shame, making comments on her body and laughing at her reactions, like he’s not the weirdo. He’s sat in the bathroom while she showers, talking to her about plans of burning the city down, like she wasn’t fucking naked.

Safe to say, she hasn’t ventured into what would happen if she tried to get off with him around. She doesn’t need him making snide comment while she has a hand in her panties. But, with a hookup, another person and a decent amount of booze. She may just be able to distract and loosen herself up enough that she won’t even notice him, though he has a habit of making himself impossible to ignore. But regardless, the former nomad needs this, she’s constantly tense and finding herself horny at every provocation, her dumb sexually frustrated lizard is even starting to think Johnny’s hot which is not a road she needs to traverse. Talking to the ghost in your brain is one thing, trying to find out if his holographic form comes with a dick is another.

“You do remember I can hear your thoughts, right, Samurai?”

“Is everything okay? You seem distracted?” The guy, who’s name she’s already forgotten, asks. As if she needed more reason to ignore Johnny.

“Oh yeah, sorry, there’s just been something kind of annoying nagging at the back of my mind. But I’m good, you wanna get out of here?”

“Yeah, sounds good, there’s a motel not far from here.”

“What are we waiting for then?”

“Ugh,” Johnny groans and rolls his eyes, evaporating into cyan static as Aidan leaves with her bedmate for the night.

Hands reach up into her bleached bob as the man presses Aidan against the door, his lips against hers, a strangers tongue roaming her mouth. She puts her hand over his, attempting to move it lower, as nice as her hair and face being touched is… This isn’t romance, she wants to be groped, manhandled, to feel him squeeze her ass or shove his hand down her pants. Even at the door before they’ve entered the room, she just wants to get fucked. But he doesn’t get the memo. His hand doesn’t move from cupping the back of her head.

“Didn’t go for brains, did ya?” Johnny’s voice taunts and Aidan bites down harder on the stranger’s buttom lip than needed, her annoyance for Johnny seeping through her actions.

Normally, when someone annoys the everloving fuck out of her, as Johnny is so prone too. She’d remove her hearing aids, submit herself to silence until they get bored and fuck off. But, Johnny’s in her fucking head, his voice echoing through her mind as clearly as her own thoughts, the only noise in this world she can’t shut off.

Aidan reaches behind her, opening the motel door and stepping into it, tugging the guy, what the hell was his name again, in by the bottom of his t-shirt. Kiss broken, she watches as he closes the door behind him, right in the holographic Johnny’s face. If that would actually prevent him from following, she’d be ecstatic. She’s sure he’ll be back in a moment, because he’s never fucking gone for more than a heartbeat. Doesn’t matter, she decides, this isn’t about Johnny. It’s about scratching her itch and cumming. She yank her shirt off over her head and throws her bra after it, whats-his-name, blinks for a moment before his eyes look over her breasts; pale and freckled. It was sudden, a quick cut to the chase, and she knows that.

“I, uh, really fuckin’ need this.” She admits, face flushing.

“Hey, no need to beat around the bush then,” the guy laughs, and he has such a pretty smile, she wishes she remembered his name.

“Fuckin’ hell, you that damn desperate?” Johnny’s laugh mingles with the strangers, now plopped down on a chair in the motel room, “you gonna start humping his leg, next?”

The chair is positioned just across from the small room’s bed, Aidan and her partner standing beside it, between where Johnny sits and the old mattress. Johnny sits casual, strewn with his legs wide open, at the perfect vantage point to stare dead on at Aidan and what-his-face.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, just that annoying persistent nagging fuckin’ thought,” she grumbles, tapping the back of her head, she’d give anything to rip that fuckin’ chip out right now.

“We don’t have to if you’re-“

“No, no, uh, if you’re still up for it, I really really want this.” It’s so sweet of him to offer to stop and she recognizes that but dear lord that kindness is not what she wants right now. She needs someone to fuck her brains out, so Johnny will leave with them.

“You’d probably be getting laid more if you didn’t act like a nutjob, you know that?” Johnny cuts in, that too pretty cocky smirk across his face. And he probably heard that too, fuck.

“Okay, if you’re sure,” the stranger says, pulling his shirt off over his head, Aidan’s eyes following down the line of hair that vanishes into his jeans. She kicks off her boots and starts unbuttoning her jeans, waiting for him to get the message. As nice as his chest is, she needs his dick, like yesterday. In her mouth, her cunt, anywhere, she just fucking needs it.

“I’d be puking if I could,” Johnny taunts again, but he’s laughing dark and deeply, no hint of disgust, “really had to wind up in a cock whore’s head, didn’t I?”

He could always leave, she nearly tells him so, but stops herself. Knowing it’d confuse and or frighten her hookup. Instead, she kicks off her jeans, leaving her in nothing but her panties as the stranger starts to undo his own jeans. Her thighs are clenching and she’s already slick.

“My entire existence is in your head, so no, I can’t help but see your little show. So, if I’m stuck watching it, I might as well have some fun with it too.”

He wants to see a fucking show? She can give him a goddamn show.

Stranger drops his jeans, kicking out of them along with his shoes. And Aidan doesn’t hesitate to drop on her knees in front of him, she’s practically drooling as she pulls down his boxers, hearing him curse above her. He’s already hard, leaking pre-cum, and hot in her grasp. She licks up the length the next moment, dragging the silver ball piercing in her tongue along it, wetting the underside with drool.

“Oh fuck…”

“Fuck.”

Johnny’s and the stranger’s curses mingle, she tries not to worry about what the forgotten rockerboy is thinking, why he’d curse like she’s drooling on his dick and not a rando’s. Whatever he’s going through is his own fucking problem, he’s the one who wanted to treat her like his own personal porno flick. She teases her tongue across the head of his cock, licking along every curve of it, then lapping where pre-cum drips out. Aidan gives a moan when she tastes it, trying to convince her bedmate it’s the best thing she’s ever had. And while it’s more a faint bitterness, the mere fact she’s tasting cock makes her insides clench.

She looks up with big gray eyes, her pick of the night has his eyes closed, biting his lip at the feeling of her on his dick. And then she takes him down her throat, gagging softly at the resistance there as she pushes her head down further. Determination, she takes him until her nose is flushed to his hips. Her jaw aches at the stretch but she ignore it in favor of swallowing around his dick, letting the muscles squeeze around him. It’s hot and heavy in her mouth, twitching in and leaking in her throat. Aidan holds still for a moment, just swallowing and moving her tongue around him, imagining how the length of him will fit inside of her cunt.

Then the ache is a bit too much, the need to breath a bit too strong, and he’s murmuring curses as she pulls off of him completely. She keeps her mouth open wide, panting and showing off the way saliva still connects her mouth to his cock.

Johnny curses and she sees him in the chair from her peripheral, watching with heavy lidded eyes as she sucks cock. She spares a side glance at a shift of movement, silver arm glinting as it catches the light, she realizes he’s rubbing his own cock through his pants. There’s a noticeable tent forming, which may answer a previous question… Her face goes brighter red, but she pushes through, this isn’t about Johnny or at least it shouldn’t be.

And she’s back on the stranger’s dick, sucking him off in earnest as she bobs her head up and down the length of him. Never quite as deep as the first swallow, but she moves as far down his cock as her new pace will allow. Occasionally feeling the head teasing the back of her throat. Fingers entangle with her hair as she reaches a hand to play with his balls, squeezing and massaging them, his groans have gotten louder, testicles drawn tight. He has to be close, she wants her reward for a job well done.

“I’m gonna cum…fuck…” He warns and she pulls back for a second, gently clenching the base of her cock between her fingers to help stop him from shooting his load right that minute.

“You want to cum on me or in my mouth?” She gives him his options and he whines, she expected to be the one tossed around and fucked raw, but it’s becoming more obvious she picked out a guy who’d rather be bossed around a bit. Even if it’s not what she was looking for, she’ll take it, happily.

“Can’t fuckin’ think right now,” he groans, “just wanna cum, please.”

“On your face and tits,” Johnny says, low and husky, making it clear he has no trouble making a choice. Though, judging by his cock still being tucked away in his leather pants, he’s not quite as cum-brained as her hookup.

And after a moment of considering Johnny’s request, Aidan wraps her lips around the man’s dick and gives a hard suck, letting go of the pressure around him. He groans as he cums directly down her throat, hot heavy spurts of it on her tongue. She swallows every last drop, not letting any of it touch her face or chest.

“Bitch.”

She swallows the last bit, grinning at Johnny’s insult, as she strokes the stranger through the last of his after shocks. Aidan stands up, she’s still in her panties, now soaked through with slick. She turns to face the bed, her ass now to Johnny and her hookup, allowing them a view as she purposely bends over to peel her panties off. Allowing both men to see her slick aching cunt; panties in hand, she turns back to face them. And she tosses them at Johnny with a devious smirk, to the unnamed stranger, she threw them to empty chair. But her and the ghostly anarchist, within their own reality that exist merely due to a chip in her head, her panties landed in his lap. His hand grabbing the wet black silk and wrapping them around her fist.

She’s not sure how it works, far from a techie in her knowledge, but she can see him interact with objects. From smoking cigarettes to leaning his weight against whatever he sees fit, after all if he couldn’t interact with anything in the physical world he’d phase through the chair, floor, and everything around them. But to everyone else it’s not seen, the objects just laying flat and useless.

The stranger’s hand grasps her hip, in her personal space within the moment, having stroked his cock back to full erection.

“Want me to return the favor?” He offers to eat her out and she’s surprised at the heat that rushes up her cheeks, despite just slobbering on his cock the question makes her blush.

“Let him do it,” Johnny says with a drawn out groan, her panties still in his hand as he undoes his belt and pulls his cock out, “wanna see you get licked.”

Would have though he’d have learned by now, she’s not interested in fulfilling his requests.

“Fuckin’ really,” he curses out at the thought, realizing he won’t get what he wants from her and he can’t do anything about it. His voice is edged and sharp, a hint of anger.

“Appreciate the thought, but I need you in me, bad. That okay?”

“Sounds good, I got a condom in my jeans, give me a second.” He starts to rifle through his abandoned jeans and jacket, Aidan clenching her thighs as she waits, she’s finally about to get what she needs most.

“He’s not gonna fuck you right.”

She tries hard not to audibly groan at Johnny’s words or watch the slow drag of his hand over his cock. Then she notices the black fabric he presses against himself, using to jerk himself off, her panties. Aidan likely deserves that, but she’s more distressed over the way it makes her insides clench than worries of the fabric. Though given what he is, she’ll probably find them virtually untouched later.

“I’m serious, Samurai, he’s not gonna give you what your after. He’s too soft for you, can’t fuck you the way you need.”

Shut up, Johnny, she rolls her eyes letting the sentiment ring out in both of their minds.

“Got it,” her date, if you can call it that, returns with condom in hand, she takes it from his hand.

“Lay back on the bed, I’ll take care of everything,” she tells him.

“Yes, ma’am,” he says and god if she wasn’t so desperate the words could have dried her up quicker than the Sahara. Even when she wants control, that is not a nickname she cares for. Johnny laughs when she wrinkles her nose.

“Told you so, ma’am.”

“Don’t call me that,” she says to both to her hookups earnest slip up and Johnny’s condescension.

“Sorry,” her hookup offers as moves to straddle him, her back to his view.

“It’s okay, we’re strangers, don’t know everything about each other.” Her voice is a little kinder as she rolls the condom down his length, listening to the little inhales of air as he feels her touch.

“Hmmm, wouldn’t be nicer with someone who does, someone who knows it all, someone in your head.” Johnny has moved, zipped, to stand at the foot of the bed. So, he can watch her more clearly she assumes. His cock and her panties are still in his hand.

She ignores him, instead moving to hover over the stranger’s cock, letting the head just tease her slit open. Aidan whimpers and whines, unable to help it at the feeling of being stretched open as her weight comes down slowly onto his dick. Inch after inch sliding into her, pressing at her deepest parts. Despite some kinks misaligning, he fits nicely inside of her, helping scratch the itch.

“A nice dick don’t mean anything if they don’t know how to use it,” Johnny taunts again, his gaze is hot on her skin, “I know everything you’ve been wanting, everything that you dream of that gets you going and makes you whimper, and I know for a fact this guy isn’t gonna give it to you.”

‘Fuck off’ she mouths the words, despite knowing he can just hear her think them, she starts to bounce herself on the stranger’s cock, chasing her pleasure as she fucks herself on him. But she doesn’t miss how Johnny starts to stroke himself faster, nearly matching the pace she’s set for herself.

“Might as well be ridin’ a toy.

“Fuck… you feel so good,” the man beneath her groans just as Johnny starts to mock his prowess.

“Good? That’s all he’s got is good?”

“Fuck…”

Aidan closes her eyes, trying to shut out the image of Johnny if nothing else, while both men’s voices ring out, audible even over her own whines of pleasure, she tries to focus on how good it feels to finally be full. Bouncing her ass harder as she rides the stranger’s cock, hoping somehow the smack of flesh against flesh, the creak of a bed could drown them both out.

“Bet your tight, a wet little vice wrapped around his cock.”

“Fuck…faster please…”

“He’s probably already close, feeling the way you stretch around him, watching the desperate little way you fuck yourself on his dick.”

“Hnnnn, fuck..”

The two men’s voice go back and forth, a mess in her head, an overwhelming mess where Johnny’s words edge her further but the noises of her hookup stir up guilt, how could she get off to him being shamed? How could she get off on Johnny’s taunts and teasing, why does every word he say stoke a fire deeper inside of her, make her wetter, and push her closer to edge. While the man she’s actually fucking only seems to set her back on that journey.

Johnny isn’t real. She tries to tell herself, not physically, he only exists to her. Aidan should focus on what real and here and beneath her, but everything draws her back to the phantom in her head.

Despite how close she is, she can’t cross the precipice, a wall built up in her core that won’t let her cum. That tension in her stomach refuses to snap, refuses to allow her the pleasure, the rush of endorphins, she’s been so desperate for. She fucks herself up and down as hard as she can, the smack of skin hitting skin echoing, and she’s sure she’ll bruise herself in her desperation. Tears of sheer frustration build in her eyes, why can she just fucking cum?

A hand cups her face, flesh and warm, vaguely slick with sweat or precum, she doesn’t know. But Aidan opens her eyes, looking straight up at Johnny. His dark brown eyes look down at her, dark hair falling into his face.

“Take out your hearing aids for me?” For once his voice comes with a little upward inflection, insinuating a question and not a demand.

“Huh?”

“I want to be the only thing you hear right now.”

And this time she listens, throwing one quick look over her should at her hookup, his eyes closed and head tossed back in the pillows, lost in the feeling of her around him; Aidan gently pulls out her hearing aids and the world goes quiet. No more sounds from him, not even the faint whirr of the fluorescent lights, or the slap of flesh.

“Good girl,” Johnny says, his voice ringing out as clear as ever, for it comes from her own brain. The praise makes her clench and whimper, the kind of attention and names she likes best. He leans his forehead to hers, his hair tickling her face.

He’s not real, but he feels real. She feels his skin, hears his voice, can smell the cigarette smoke on his breath. And she feels metal fingers, cool as they pushing against her slick cunt, finding her swollen clit with ease. She whines, as he rubs her, stroking friction against her nerves.

“So fucking wet, you’ve wanted my hands on your for a while, haven’t you?” He teases, a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips.

“Yes,” she lets him hear it in voice and thought.

“He may be inside you, but I’m the one who’s gonna make you cum, you got that?”

“Yes, yes, fuck, please,” she whimpers, fucking herself and grinding against Johnny’s fingers. Every bounce and rub of his fingers pushes her closer to the edge.

“Who’s gonna make you cum?”

You, Johnny. She thinks but doesn’t dare say it, for fear of the man beneath her hearing, even in the throes of pleasure, she needs to be rational, Johnny isn’t real and if she starts screaming the name of a ghost while she cums…

“Say it, out loud,.” His fingers slow their movement, nearly stopping their motion altogether, his threat clear and she fucking needs this.

“Johnny!” Another hard rub before she’s finished the first syllable and his name becomes a scream, the tension snaps, the bubble of pleasure pops, and she’s overwhelmed by her pure euphoria. Toes curled and squirming she finally finds her release, cumming around the man inside of her, mind going blank for a moment.

Then the fog in her brain starts to lift, aftershocks coming and going, she can feel the condom bloated with cum inside of her…. Johnny is laughing, chuckling a rich and warm sound, and oh god she said his name.

Aidan puts her hearing aids back in, clenched in her sweaty fist this entire time, trying to do so quick enough that it isn’t noticed and she can catch anything he may say.

“…ohnny?”

She catches the very end of it and oh no, oh no. Johnny’s still laughing.

“Hmm, didn’t quite catch that, something wrong?” She tries to act nonchalant, like she just missed it, as she pulls herself off his cock. The emptiness makes her whine, but she may need to detach herself from this situation as soon as possible.

“Who’s Johnny?” He asks again as she turns to face him on the bed, the stranger’s eyebrow raised. He doesn’t seem mad, just genuinely confused.

“Yeah, who’s Johnny?” The old rockerboy says, smirking and how he can look so cocky with his dick still hard and out, she has no idea. Why is she even thinking about his dick, she catches herself, that’s oh lord.

“Uhhh, why do you ask, who said anything about a Johnny?”

“You did, loudly, while you came.”

“Uhhhh….”

“He got you there.”

“Look,” the guy says, smiling kindly, “like, if you’re hung up on some other dude, it’s cool, like you said, we’re strangers. But, uh, if you’re thinking that much about this Johnny guy, you should probably just like talk to him about it.”

“I’m not hung up on, Johnny, I assure you.”

“Hmmm, debateable,” Johnny taunts and she’s gonna rip this fucking chip out of her brain if it kills her.

“Say what you want, but I clearly wasn’t the guy on your mind tonight.”

“Hard to compete with the guy who’s in her mind.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess, sorry…”

“No worries,” he says and she’s continuously thankful he can’t hear Johnny’s snide ass remarks, “I’m gonna grab a shower then head out, rooms already paid for if you wanna chill here.”

And her one night stand gives her a friendly tap on the shoulder, like they’re bros and his dick wasn’t just inside of her, then heads to the motel bathroom. Aidan collapses on the bed, face flushed and struggling to accept the mess of a night.

Then a weight settles over her, Johnny suddenly straddling her sternum, knees on either side and pressing into the bed before he sits his weight fully on her. His cock is still hard and leaking, has been the entire time, now smearing precum hot into her skin.

‘The fuck are you doing?’ she mouths, glaring up at him.

“What no love for the guy you’re so hung up on?”

The shower starts up in the background, which should block out the sound of her talking to the ghost currently stroking his dick over her tits. The head flushed red and his pace quickening, he’s been shifting pace back and forth this entire time, no doubt he’s close to bursting.

“I fuckin’ hate you, you know that?”

“I know for a fact you don’t,” he groans beneath his breath, as his cock twitches in his hand, “besides, told you where I wanted to cum.”

“Y-Ahh!”

He curses beneath his breath and she yelps as it hits her, cum splattering across her chest and face. It certainly feels real, hot and thick across her breasts and chin, salty when her tongue swipes away a drop that hit her lip. But no one else but her and him would ever be able to even see it…

Images of being able to walk around Night City filled and covered in his cum, with no one else even knowing flicker across her mind.

“You’re not even pretending to hate me anymore, are you?” He’s grinning wickedly, face flushed beneath the dark scruff of his beard, long hair sticking to his forehead. And she can’t find in her to disagree.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #johnny silverhand #have i been kicked out of the fandom before the game comes out?#okay cool

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doctors-star · 4 years ago

Note

6 &/or 22

send me a prompt

6. hiraeth - a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past

22. basorexia - the overwhelming desire to kiss

“Howdy, Will Williams.”

The dark head flicks abruptly up and round, spine straightening guiltily out of a lazy slouch. As he turns, Will runs a quick hand through his hair to push the longer locks back and then jams his hat on his head, as though likely to be scolded for not wearing it; then he actually notices who the intruder is, and his shoulders relax out of their habitual tension. “Johnny McPherson” he says with a blink-and-miss-it half smile, nudging the bridge of his thin wire-rimmed glasses with the tip of his thumb. “Didn’t hear you coming.”

Johnny spares a moment to be gently, internally amused by this as he slings his leg out of the stirrup and over his horse’s rear, dropping neatly to the ground. He had, after all, ridden over to the man’s campsite at the foot of the rocky outcrop and made no attempt to be quiet about doing so: his horse had huffed and snorted; the hooves had sounded against the beaten earth; Will’s own horse had raised his head from the bag he had been nosing at and whickered at them. And Will, Lord help him, had been too busy watching coyotes to notice a damn thing. How the man ever even found the animals was beyond Johnny; sometimes he reckons a man could set fire to Will Williams’ boots in a darkened room and he’d only move his book closer to the light so’s he could read it better.

He nods in the vague direction of the prairie and whatever had held Will’s attention so thoroughly. “Your coyotes behavin’ today?”

Will smiles again, just as fast as before. All of Danser Town will be damned if they have any idea what, exactly, it is that Will Williams has come out west to do; explanations are offered and eyes glaze over, but Johnny reckons he was told something about animal behaviour and Will hasn’t since told him different. Probably on account of how he won’t listen, or remember, or ever understand why it matters how good or bad an animal acts, but this here is a good enough joke anyhow. “It’s, it’s buffalo, today,” Will corrects gently, pointing at the smudge of brown on the landscape downwind that will, if one focusses, coalesce into a herd of enormous, shaggy creatures with hunched spines and bad-tempered expressions.

Johnny squints under the brim of his hat, and then nods. It is, indeed, buffalo today. “Bought you a present,” he says cheerfully, looping his reins over the same branch as Will’s and turning to his saddlebag.

Will’s eyes narrow slightly in suspicion, but his lips turn up at one corner too, like he’s been handed a riddle he reckons is funny but whose punchline he doesn’t quite have figured yet. “You did?” he says, awful careful.

“Sure,” Johnny says, making the effort to sound slightly wounded that Will would ever expect anything but the kindest friendship from him as he roots in the bag. When he flicks his eye Will’s way, he can see that the smile has advanced into a bitten lip and the dark eyes have narrowed yet further. “I brought you some of Ma Masham’s bread-” he produces a paper-wrapped parcel about the size of two fists and chucks it to Will, watching his eyes light up as he moves to catch it. Ma Masham makes good bread. He allows Will to peel the brown paper back a ways and inhale deeply, and then finishes his sentence. “-’cause she reckons you ain’t eating enough out here and you’re too small.”

Will tips his head back far enough to knock his own hat off and groans. He looks remarkably child-like, sometimes, with his thin frame, and his eyes very dark in his pale face, and his propensity for sitting cross-legged in the dust and watching animals. “I’m a grown man,” he says petulantly. “I’m not getting any taller, now.”

“Well,” Johnny says very reasonably, with a much less reasonable smile, “she reckons you didn’t get fed enough when you weren’t grown, and if you don’t eat it all and grow six inches it’ll all be my fault.” He frowns. “Though I’m damned if I know why.”

Will breaks off a corner of the loaf and sticks it in his mouth. “You’re tryin’ to walk out with Ma Masham’s daughter,” he points out through the mouthful.

“I am not tryin’ to walk out with Ma Masham’s daughter!” Johnny says firmly and indignantly. Will raises an eyebrow. “I’m doing a very good job of walking out with Jody Masham.” Will snorts and eyes him around another lump of bread, awaiting what Finn has taken to calling - usually with a dramatic groan - the inevitable. Jody Masham - lord, there’s a pretty girl. “She’s got eyes like starlight, does Miss Masham,” he sighs, gazing wistfully out over the prairie. “Prettiest girl I ever saw.”

Will mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like this week as he shifts to face Johnny and leans back on his palms. Johnny ignores it.

“Her hair’s softer’n anything,” he says instead, and abruptly his heart is too full; he reckons if the sun doesn’t beat some warm good sense into him he’ll clean float away; and he has to sweep his hat from his head and press it to his chest, face turned up to the light.

“Oh, good lord,” a giggling voice says from somewhere near his knee, but he pays it no mind.

“Gold like the sun and worth twice as much,” he sighs, Jody Masham’s face floating before his eye. What he wouldn’t do to hold her close, breathe her in, press his lips to hers-

Something hits his knee and his surroundings come rushing back to him abruptly. At his foot is one of Will’s gloves; Will himself is angling a particularly severe raised eyebrow his way, but he is also grinning as he squints into the sun behind Johnny. “You come all this way to moon over Jody Masham, or what?”

“What,” Johnny says, collecting himself and turning back to the bag. “You got some cheese from the Wilder ranch, and one of old man German’s good sausages, and I brought you a waterskin but I put some beer in it.” Johnny grins at Will’s expression of surprise. “So. Reckon I earned some mooning.”

“Did the whole town have a, a whip-round for me?” Will says, frowning as he reaches out for the second paper parcel Johnny hands over.

Johnny shrugs, trying to look winning and charming as he leans against the saddle and obscures the still half-full bag. “That’s just Danser hospitality, I guess.”

Will’s gaze flickers over to him suspiciously. “And, and you rode all the way out here, just to fetch me dinner?”

“Sure,” Johnny tries, and knows as soon as he’s said it he’s misstepped; he says sure like that too innocently, always has, and Will’s eyes narrow. “Also I brought you your doctor’s bag just in case-” he says, all too quickly, only getting louder when Will groans. “Might be nothin’,” he wheedles. “Just in case.”

“Do I want to know what you all are going to do?” Will asks, glaring at the leather bag which Johnny guiltily retrieves and places by Will’s very aged, much cleaned boots. “Probably not, huh.”

“Might be nothin’,” Johnny says again, but Will does not look mollified. “Just - would be nice to know you was ready, if it was something. Come on, Doc Dubya.”

Will shoots him an unimpressed look for the nickname. Most folks call him Williams, or Will, but one of the Wilder kids had reckoned Doc Dubya was easier and more fun than sounding out Mister Double-you Williams; it had half stuck, reappearing usually when someone wanted him to come out and doctor for them. “I am not a doctor,” Will says sharply, accent coming out all clipped; all north-eastern, Nova Scotia, old money-sounding, the way it always does when he’s real cross about something. Johnny winces slightly. “This,” Will says, shaking the leather case at him, “is not a doctor’s bag. It’s - it’s an anatomy kit with some old linen scraps for bandages. I’m a naturalist. I can’t - can’t fix you all when you’ve gone and done something stupid.”

Johnny spreads his hands wide and shrugs apologetically. “Ain’t no-one else can do it better,” he points out, running his first knuckle and thumb over his moustache quickly. As nervous tics go, it’s unfortunate; he can only barely pass it off as vanity when he’s playing poker with Diaz, and then only because Diaz is usually too focussed on his own poker face to mind Johnny’s.

Will gives him the stink-eye and he scrambles quickly back onto his horse, patting her dun neck when she dances under him and huffs about the sudden movement. He tries to think of something to say: something that will count as apology and gratitude and, crucially, won’t make Will Williams, the only man even nearly a doctor within a day’s ride of Danser Town, pack up his knapsack and his case and ride for the railway on the other side of the territory and its trains back to Saint John.

Nothing comes to mind.

“Good luck with your buffalo,” Johnny says, offering a hopeful smile.

He doesn’t get more than twenty yards before Will raises his voice. “What time are you all going to be done doing whatever it is I don’t know you’re doing?”

Johnny grins to himself, suffused with warmth and relief. When he twists in the saddle, Will is prodding at the dusty ground with a stick thoughtfully. His brows are downturned in a frown, but there’s a tension to his profile and Johnny reckons he’s doing that thing he does, when the young men of the town are congregated - slightly too many in a space slightly too small - all of ‘em a little drunk and a little loud and making Will more’n a little nervy, but even though he’s tense and awkward and quiet he’s smiling - only, usually with the side of his face that they can’t see. He reckons Will might have forgiven him.

He shrugs. “Nineish, maybe. You’ll get a cut of whatever we don’t earn, doing whatever it is we’re not doing.”

Will huffs in amusement and Johnny doesn’t bother counting over his negatives to figure out if what he’d said made any kind of sense, anyhow. “Alright. I, I won’t see you then.”

Johnny beams. “Will Williams, you’re the sturdiest fella I ever did see.”

And this time, even though he’s already riding away, there’s no mistaking it - “This week!” Will hollers at his retreating back.

“Lord,” Finn sighs, chin in one palm and leaning sideways over the table. “I am tired of Corey County. We must be the only territory in the state without a goddamn railway. I ain’t gonna die in some dingey backwater without even a railway.”

Will shoots him a look under his brows but says nothing, just sniffs, pushes his glasses up his nose, and goes on winding clean white linen around Finn’s bicep. Johnny tops up their whisky glasses and pushes one Finn’s way with his fingertips. “Naw, probably not,” he agrees thoughtfully. Finn cocks his head and Johnny spreads his hands in explanation. “Way I see it, you ain’t gonna die horse-rustling, even if you do do something stupid like, say, get yourself all nicely backlit by the ranch lights and then hoot and holler ‘til someone comes and shoots you-”

Will’s head snaps up. “That’s how you got shot?” he says, neither impressed nor gentle.

Finn shrugs awkwardly with only one arm, looking a little embarrassed. “Pascal and Ted were getting hassled.” That about seems to cover it, as far as Finn’s concerned; he drops his chin back into his hand and waits for Johnny to carry on, leaving Will glowering at his ginger curls.

“Alright, well, you ain’t gonna die like that,” Johnny says. “You’re gonna go out doing something truly dumb, like trying to rob a train on your own ‘cause of how you got bored, or something - stands to reason, then, that you ain’t gonna die in a backwater with no railway. You gotta go to the railway, or wait for the railway to come to you, and then you can kick it in some grand old blaze of glory.”

Finn considers this, and then grins. “Thanks, Johnny, you’re a real pal.” Will looks like he’s considering abandoning them to their idiocy; with his almost preternatural sense of when, exactly, he is likely to be denounced as lacking the sense God gave a gopher, Finn twists to beam at Will over his bandage. “Doctor, I’m cured.”

Will glances at him sharply. “Sure,” he mutters. “So long as we never get a railway, and you never go where one is, I can be sure you all will be doing something only reasonably stupid.”

“Y’all know me,” Finn says cheerfully. “Something stupid to be done, I’ll come running.” Will tucks away the end of the bandage and Finn stretches carefully, shaking his head and tidying a few loose curls out of his eyes. Not to be outdone, Johnny works the ribbon out of his own hair and tosses his head like a stallion, shaking shoulder-length, glossy blond waves so that they sparkle in the lamplight. It’s a practised gesture; what, after all, is the point in having well-oiled, lustrous hair the envy of every woman in the state if one doesn’t know how to present it? Even if only for a pair of singularly unimpressed friends.

“You’re not stupid,” Johnny says magnanimously. Must be hard, after all, to be Finn and have hair more inclined to corkscrew outward than lie flat and sleek, or to be Will and have a chin barer than kids half his age.

“No,” Will agrees dryly. “Stupid would be walking out with Jody Masham, making eyes at Peggy West, and swooning every time Anne-Marie Dodds so much as glances your way - all at once.”

Johnny’s jaw drops at this abject betrayal and he gives up on magnanimity. Will doesn’t deserve good facial hair. Finn cackles in delight. “Miss Dodds an’ all?” he laughs. “Peggy West’s best friend - Johnny, you’re gonna wind up with a hole in your head or a ring on your finger if you ain’t careful.”

He snaps his mouth shut and rises manfully above such comments. What do they know, anyway - Peggy West won’t shoot him, and with a bit of luck she’ll keep her pa from doing it either. Sure, she and Anne-Marie are pretty girls, but they’ve made his role plenty clear: he’s to court without expectation, so’s they can avoid courters with expectations. Jody knows; knows, too, about Cathy in the bigger town to the east whom he rides out to see sometimes, and they’re all content as can be. Let Will and Finn say what they like - Johnny walks out with the prettiest girls in the territory, and lord are they pretty.

“We’ve lost him,” Finn says conspiratorially.

Their hair - the clothes - they’re so delicate yet firm - he longs to feel their curves beneath his palms-

“Totally gone,” Will agrees.

Johnny sprawls over the table, chin in one hand. “Girls,” he sighs, and manages no more.

Will rolls his eyes and Finn nudges him carefully with his injured elbow. “That could be you,” he says, “if you’d only look helpless and lonely in eyesight of a lady.”

Will looks at Johnny with deep apprehension. “If it’ll do that, Johnny can keep ‘em.”

“Is there a name for it?” Johnny asks the ceiling philosophically. Ideally, they’d be out of doors and staring at the desert stars; as it is, there’s only peeling paper and discoloured rafters of which to demand explanations. It’ll do. “For wanting so badly to kiss a person, to be with them - so much you burn up with it?”

“Lust,” Will, the good little Methodist says.

“The clap,” Finn says brightly.

Johnny gives them both the stink eye and Finn laughs; Will just ducks his head in a fruitless attempt to hide his bright, broad grin. “Aw, y’all are the worst.”

It’s quiet for a minute as they drink their whisky and relax into the hard wooden seats as best they can. Will’s rooms above the saloon are not awful large, and not at all comfortable, but they don’t cost him much and no-one asks about the occasional bloodied shirt on his late-night visitors. Danser Town isn’t large enough for the general populace not to know that the band of young men with money to spend and no discernable employment are likely up to no good, but no-one asks questions and no-one tells lies and it all shakes out in the end. But - Will’s from out east, and he went to college, and his words have a touch of money about them sometimes. What’s he doing out here, watching buffalo?

Finn must be having the same thought, because he shifts awkwardly before speaking. “Say, Will, why not get some place nicer than this? Get you a ranch, or something.”

Will snorts. “What would I do with a claim? I’m no farmer. Besides, I can’t afford a whole house to myself.”

“Why not?” Finn presses. “Ain’t you one of them rich Yanks?”

Johnny winces a little at the blunt question. Will tips his head on side. “Not - really,” he says. “First - I’m Canadian. Second, all I have is here.”

“But you went to college,” Johnny finds himself saying.

“Sure,” Will says, folding his long, pale fingers into an awkward knot. His shoulders have tensed up around his ears again; Finn notices and bumps their arms carefully together. “But - my folks paid for that. And I left. So.”

It sounds kinda like Will doesn’t miss ‘em. “You ever want to go back?” Finn asks.

Will makes a face. “No. I - I like it here.”

Johnny nods, filled with some sort of strange pride and satisfaction. Will can stay, and be happy here - that suits. “I don’t,” Finn says brightly.

“Why’re you still here, then?” Johnny can’t help asking. Finn’s only been here six months or so and he’d lived in half the states west of Georgia before that; the man seems to move like his feet are on fire. So, either he’s got better at horse rustling in Danser and not been caught so fast, or it’s something else.

Finn shrugs. “Y’all won’t come with me,” he says simply, like it ain’t nothing to be so openly, overtly fond of another person. Will looks like he might fall off his chair in surprise at just hearing him say it. Finn sighs and stretches his legs out before him, crossed at the ankle. “I like moving,” he explains, “but y’all don’t. I don’t wanna stop, but I don’t want - I want to go, but I don’t want to leave.” He spreads his hands as if that ought to pretty much cover it.

“Why do you like travelling so much?” Will says after a quick slug of his drink. He looks a bit unsteady, although if that’s due to the whisky or Finn being kind Johnny couldn’t say.

Finn shrugs. “Feels sometimes like I’m looking for somewhere, you know? Somewhere I never been, but I’m gonna know it when I get there. Where it all makes some kind of sense. Is there-” Finn huffs a laugh and looks at Johnny. “Is there a word for that - sickening after a place you never seen, but you know it’s easy, like when you were a kid?”

Johnny raises his glass to him with half a smile. He’s got no joke for that.

Will blinks, tilts his head like a bird, and then opens his mouth and says something strange-sounding and smooth.

Finn and Johnny blink at him in polite incomprehension.

“My, my mother’s folks were from Ontario, but before, before that Wales,” he explains. “Hiraeth. It means - well, what you said.”

“Huh,” Finn says. Then grins. “Well, now I don’t feel half so special and one-of-a-kind.”

“Oh,” Will says, sounding apologetic, “I didn’t-”

“Lord, I hope there’s only one man like you, Finn Holden,” Johnny interrupts with a grin. “You’re already too much to handle.”

“Aw,” Finn says, slinging his wounded arm gently around Will’s narrow shoulders and squeezing gently until the tension relaxes out of him once more. “Y’all love me, don’tcha?”

Will smiles - genuine, but a little shy. Johnny feels his own face form an answering - and disgustingly fond - smile. “Send us to an early grave though it may,” he says, winking at Will and raising his glass to them all.

#[with increasing enthusiasm] cowboys cowboys cowboys #can't believe i liked a picrew so much i'm doing original fiction now #and about americans of all people!#anyway. hope u enjoy.#because i'm absurdly fond of them all so #cowboys #original fiction #this is your captain speaking #a town called danser

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jean----ralphio · 4 years ago

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BoB liveblog ep 7

Episode 7: The Breaking Point. YEAH, OF MY FUCKING HEART

I HATE THIS EPISODE. I HATE IT WITH THE FIERY INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS.

00:00 I really don’t wanna do this you guys.

00:38 Can’t we just pretend this episode doesn’t exist?

01:22 OMFG I CAN’T ALL THE SWEET IRL MEN ARE CRYING NOOOO IT HURRRTS

04:05 RICH! Ok I feel a little better. Ahaha, he’s growing a beard. It’s got nothing on the quarantine beard he’s rocking nowadays tho

04:22 That whole scene is hilarious but I’m too distracted by Rich to appreciate it properly

05:18 Horsie

05:30 Hey Fassy

05:57 He’s so obsessed with the Luger, oh Hoob ☹

06:07 Ahhh that second where he looks into the camera and fires ☹ He’s so happy

06:31 IT’S SHIFTY MY ANGEL SON, MY ANGEL CHILD, LOOK AT HIIIIIMMMM!!!! MY BABY! I’M SO HAPPY! THIS IS THE ONLY GOOD PART OF THE EPISODE! HE’S SO HUMBLE AND PERF ILY SHIFTY

06:51 He is such a fucking angel, I swear. “What happened to the horse?” PETA would be pleased you care, baby.

07:01 Look at my son, look at his little angel face

07:27 Buck seems a little better??

07:47 Gold.

“Shut up boys.”

“Shutting up, Sarge.”

But notice my angel is perfectly well-behaved

08:00 “That was no rifle.” Shifty just Knows Things.

“What do you see, Shift?”

“Nobody out there.” HE’S JUST A BOSS SNIPER ANGEL ELF BABY OK

08:15 Oh Hoob

08:43 Oh God

09:03 ROE OMG NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES “Did you think it was a German leg, Hoob?” I MEAN LMAO BUT NO

09:33 Nooooooooooo

09:44 Oh God, the way Buck and Perco are cradling his face ☹

10:04 Husbands, do something, reincarnate him or something

10:32 Oh Dick is shivering aw

10:38 Lip, baby, no, do not cover for than incompetent POS

10:48 The husbands are unimpressed

11:39 Nice gloves tho Dike

11:57 “At present, as per usual, but I’ll clarify that with you at a later time.” No. No. He’s asking now. He needs to know now. Wtf.

12:39 IS THAT RICH??

13:12 RICH! BEARDED RICH!

13:23 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU GUYS

13:26 Just gonna pause here a little while, excuse me

13:47 Lip is such a boss. We love you Lip

14:13 Bill’s laugh <3 RICH’S SMILE <333

14:48 Dick omg your flirting, so cute. They are in love.

15:20 Fassy is judging you… that means Alicia Vikander is coming for you…

15:50 Omg Nix knows his husband so well

16:24 Aw, Bill and Babe <3 BROTP

17:33 Bill, sweetie, no, I’m sorry but Buck is not fine!

17:58 Oh God the foreboding. Rich ☹ <3

18:01 WTF is Luz smoking LMAO

18:33 RIIIIICH

19:08 “Well, they had a point. You’re an idiot.” Oh Penk. I’ll miss you Penk.

19:31 UGH GTFO. To be fair the actor does a great job with this role.

20:01 Dike is so random. But it’s nice he’s taking an interest??

21:20 NIX LMAO

21:33 Ugh, Dick. Stop. I know it’s to establish a sense of normalcy and ritual but Come. On. Buddy. Lol I love how Nix is just like LMAO NO I’M NOT GOING. I wish I could just say no when asked to do things by my bosses. We know it’s cos Nix can’t bear to be apart from his husband for so long <3

22:33 Guys, don’t be mean. Fassy, no, come on.

22:53 Wtf are Penk and Rich doing…

23:05 LMAO @ Dick and Sink.

“Got to keep the morale up for the folks back home.”

“Why?”

“Damned if I know.”

Iconic. Valid.

23:34 Lol my Joe/Charlie thought he was gonna get in trouble, but Dad just wanted to nag <3

24:24 Oh Bill <3 “Tied me own boots once last week, all by meself.” <3333 Bill please never change.

24:30 Rich <3333

24:36 Riiiiichhhhhh <3

24:48 Johhny ‘unimpressed’ Martin is already looking unimpressed, new kid, watch out, you’re not off to a great start.

24:56 Rich’s helmet still has bullet holes from the last episode, love the continuity <3

25:07 “You’ll find out, son.” Oh, Alley <3

25:17 Rich is hilarious in this scene, he’s having so much fun <3

25:22 Hey Lieb, I’ve missed you

25:46 Riichhh <3

25:53 OMFG that exchange!

“How are those nuts, sarge?”

“Doin fine, Bill, nice of you to ask.”

Wtf Lip!!

26:05 Bye, Fassy!

26:26 Even when he’s blurred by snow, Speirs is intimidatingly good-looking.

27:01 He’s so polite but so scary

27:23 You’re hot, Speirs, so I automatically trust you. Not sure what that says about me but it’s probably not good tbh

27:57 Joe/Charlie has been back five seconds and he’s already out for blood.

28:58 Hey Lee

30:00 Oh God

31:33 Oh no, Joe/Charlie, my baby ☹

33:39 Bill’s here, baby, it’s OK

34:10 I can’t deal with the hilarity of Babe blocked in by the tree while Joe/Charlie is in such a bad way and being done so dirty

34:56 Oh GOD

35:28 Bill </3

36:11 My thoughts exactly, Luz

36:42 Buck ☹

37:41 “Hey Joe, I told you I’d beat you back to the states.” Bill don’t me laugh while I’m crying. Aw, we’ll miss you <3

37:59 Not really the time but fuck it, I am totally digging Luz’s hair now

38:26 I’m so shook. I’ve watched this series a billion times but it still hurts me. Scene after scene, Joe/Charlie in pain, Buck screaming for a medic, God Neal and Kirk are so good.

39:18 Oh God, Buck

40:00 Rich I love you

40:44 Rich <3 ☹

41:22 Noooooooo </3

41:44 No. No. NO.

41:59 NO. NOPE. CANON NOT ACCEPTED. They’re fine. They’re fine, they’re just off-screen for the rest of the series, chillin with Hoob and Renee on like a nice beach somewhere. Drinking maitais and maragaritas and building sandcastles and shit.

44:00 Hit Malarkey the hardest? NO FUCKING WAY, LIP, HIT ME THE HARDEST, MORE LIKE! But in all seriousness, can you imagine losing your friends, not having a body to bury or time to grieve ugh ☹ </3 OK I concede that Malarkey and I can share the grief 50/50. No wait. 60/40. In favour of me.

45:15 Malark, it’s what Hoob would have wanted. I’d ask him but he’s busy sunbathing and keeping the drinks topped up

46:57 We love you Buck

47:14 Bull <3

47:43 Lieb <333

48:10 Hang on, sweetie, Dad isn’t back yet

48:50 It’s OK, Lip, sweetie, you can do it.

49:38 Lip, listen to me, your Dad’s going to fix everything in about ten, fifteen minutes. And he’ll get you a hot boyfriend in the process. It’s all going to be OK.

50:05 Dick, honey, Dike doesn’t understand a thing you’re saying

50:25 Dike’s like lol who the fuck was that guy?

51:17 Lieb is so blood-thirsty <3

51:23 DON’T STOP RUNNING, IDIOT. NEVER STOP RUNNING! THE REST OF US LEARNT THAT IN THE FIRST EPISODE! GOD!

51:40 WTF ARE YOU DOING, YOU FUCKING WASTE OF OXYGEN

52:09 Poor Lee

52:22 NO, FUCK, OMG

53:14 Don’t send my Lee alone!

53:33 Bull. A cigar. Right now? I like Johnny’s beard, suits him.

54:13 “THEY SHOT ME IN MY ASS, BOYS!” Aw Perco. Iconic.

54:36 Legit one of my fave scenes in the history of television. Dick is just so beside himself and desperate and helpless watching his sons stuck and in so much trouble. He’s in full Dad mode, about to run in there to save his boys. Then, and this is so subtle but it’s my fave bit, HE CUTS OFF SINK. HE IGNORES/SPEAKS OVER SINK. DICK! SPEAKS! OVER! SINK! IN WHAT UNIVERSE WOULD HE EVER DO THAT?! ON WHAT PLANET WOULD HE EVER BE SO DISRESPCTFUL?! THIS ONE, COS HIS SONS NEED HIM NOW AND BEING POLITE AND ADHERRING TO PRINCIPLE AND RANK DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHEN EASY IS IN TROUBLE! AND THEN HE CALLS UP OUR BOY SPEIRS. AND SPEIRS IS SO FUCKING GUNG-HO, BOUNCING ABOUT READY TO SLAUGHTER EVERYONE, SO FUCKIN EXCITED!!

And then there’s Nix, lmao, chillin with his binoculars, super relaxed as long as his husband stays safe, tbh.

55:06 Oh that was the new boy, aw

55:12 BOSS BAMF ICONIC WE STAN

55:20 Here you go, Lip, one BF courtesy of your Dad lol

55:48 Oh GOD I MISS RICH

56:24 LMFAO was that the haystack Dike was behind??

57:00 I.C.O.N.I.C.

57:23 “The astounding thing was, that after he hooked up with I company, he came back.” Annnnnd Lip’s in love.

57:49 Aw happy boys

58:09 Noooooo they’ve been through enough! I’VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH THIS EPISODE OK, FUCK!

58:23 Go on, my angel son, you can do it.

58:36 Go, son. I love you.

58:43 Yes. Good boy.

59:26 Aw Bull piggybacking Perco <3

1:00:23 Oh yay! The church scene!

1:00:39 Look at my angel son <3

1:00:48 Hey Lieb

1:00:54 IT’S TAB! HEY TAB!

1:01:09 Babe <3 GRANT <3

1:01:29 Ahahaha Roe, I see you strategically placed yourself where you could stare at Babe 😉

1:01:59 Only 63 men left? Oh </3

1:02:00 Ahh Joe/Charlie <3 Bill <3 We love and miss you

1:02:20 RICH <333333 I LOVE YOU RICH <3333333 GOODBYE RICH <333333333333

1:02:39 Fuck Speirs is hot

1:02:53 The flirting <3 shooting looks at each other aw

1:03:09 Boys, stop checking each other out. You’re literally in a church full of nuns, go somewhere else to expend your sexual tension, jeez.

1:03:41 Flirting via talk of Roman soldiers, I dig it

1:04:28 Oh God, guys, this bit. Other than the propensity of my angel son, compared to usual, this is the only good part of the episode, I am here for the Speirton!

“You don’t have any idea who I’m talking about, do you?” HIS FACE IS SO SOFT

“No, Sir.” Lip, sweetie.

“Hell, it was you, first sergeant.”

Speirs’ is in love right back. And his continued flirting re battlefield commission GOD. The way he looks at Lip… you deserve the hottest guy in the whole show, Lip, proud of you sweetie.

1:06:48 Annnnnd everything fucking hurts.

To summarise, I am kinda appeased by the glorious glory that is Spierton. Rich and Penk and Hoob and Renee are FINE. THEY JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE OFF-SCREEN. IT’S FINE. I’M FINE ABOUT IT.

#band of brothers #liveblog #spierton #rsj #this ep ugh

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colawinston · 5 years ago

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“ i ain’t no fortunate son, no...”

a/n — hello, hello. I’m here with a little fic for you all, something simple and sweet and maybe a little shitty.

A Sodapop Curtis and vague reader fic for @radiantcade. Idk, I hope you enjoy it :)

we’re also going to totally ignore that hinton said soda dies in vietnam cause fuck that shit

He wasn’t dead, but he might as well have been.

Coming home had been...a hassle almost. Sure, it was better than trekking through miles of hot, shrouded forest, scared shitless and waiting for the next bullet to whiz by or mortar to come sailing through the trees and drop in the midst of them, waiting for the next ambush or false alarm or snap of a branch. Yeah, being home was far better than being stuck in the near ceaseless rain and heat and barrage of casualty, even if it still held its own set of completely different issues. Sodapop couldn’t really bring himself to complain, though. He was grateful he made it home, grateful to be alive, goddamnit.

It just felt...different. Verging suffocating. He enjoyed the fact he could step off a bus and immediately be near bowled over by his kid brother, arms tight — Lay off the man, Ponyboy, Darry had barked, but there wasn’t any heat behind the words. Lay off my kid brother, Soda chided, just as heatless, though far more playful. He enjoyed the fact he could catch up on his brothers lives, greeted by his old friends and take in what they’d been up to in the last two and a half years he’d been gone.

Ponyboy had grown up, was damn near as built as Darry by this point, but still the soft mess of a kid he’d been when he’d left. He played football, was set to graduate, go off to college and do something important with himself. Darry still worked on houses, but had found himself a gal, a sweet girl named Joanie, and he was real smitten with her, got bashful when Soda asked if he was gonna pop the question. But he wasn’t the only one. Seemed like everyone had found them someone, Soda had noted. Steve, who’d gone off to college ‘round the time Sodapop left (which had kept him from the shit storm of a draft that Sodapop found himself plucked from), and had himself a pleasant college girl — her face sweet, hair kept neat and her clothes impeccably clean — not someone that Sodapop would have thought would end up with Steve, but life was full of surprises. Two-Bit ended up with Marcia, Randy Adderson’s now ex-gir. Took a ride on the wild side, Two-bit had grinned, tipping back a beer. He looked cleaner — they all did. Weren’t damn near as greasy as they had been, wore new clothes, looked as though they’d really gotten themselves out of a rut.

But they all still converged in the Curtis home, crowded together around the coffee table smushed in between the arms of that old couch.

That was all good, felt fine, but the suffocating part was, well, talking about the very large elephant in the room. The war. What he’d seen, what he’d done, just the barrage of questions and unwavering interest in things he’d rather not brag about, talk about, think about. How many of them vietcong did ya kill, Soda? Heard they was sending ladies off for you boys while stationed out there, weren’t they? Get anything good? Still as charming as ever...But he supposed they didn’t quite understand. They knew the horrors, the happenings, what went on, but they didn’t understand. And he’d brushed it off, gave them some bullshit response and smiled and sat back. Conversation had moved away from him and onto something else, and he was left staring at the wall, chest tight and suffocating.

He didn’t sleep well. Hell, he hadn’t slept well in a very long time. Although comfortable, his bed felt foreign. The silence of the house deafening despite the chirp of crickets outside, and every soft creak of the house sending a jolt through Sodapop, his fists clenched in the sheets, eyes locked firmly on the shadowed ceiling. Among the delicate noises of night, he could hear his own heart, occasionally Ponyboy or Darry stirring, a cough or a shuffle down the hall to the bathroom, only for the same shuffle to retreat down the hall and a door to click shut. He didn’t sleep, once bright eyes and crooked grin now a murky pool of green and teeth barely shown, the smile itself barely meeting his eyes. He was plagued, and he hid it.

Which was unlike him, but if he was being honest, it felt wrong to push these things onto his brothers — the two of them had enough to worry about without the extra baggage of something they wouldn’t understand. Maybe Ponyboy would be soft about it, sympathize. He’d gone through his own bit of trauma years back, struggled in his own way afterwards. Soda had helped then, so why wouldn’t he ask now? Was he that much of a coward to admit something was off, something wasn’t right with him. He knew what to expect when he’d gotten home, he’d heard the rumors and the tales of those who’d come home from the second world war. But that couldn’t be him. He did want it to be him.

But he kept up his image, because being home was nice. He’d gotten a job back at the station, something to keep himself preoccupied. It wasn’t the same as it had been without Steve there, though pretty girls still flocked his way, got him to smile, flirted back and forth. Hippies, mostly. Not that he was particularly interested in them. No, he was still set on a broad he’d been seeing back before was shipped off. One he wasn’t sure if she knew he still existed. Not until she came by the station one day, in one of them fancy new Pontiacs: blood red and loud as hell. She noticed him near immediately, jaw dropped and not a moment of hesitancy before she flung herself around him — a lot like Ponyhad that day he’d stepped off the bus.

“Sodapop Curtis, I didn’t know you were home!” She had squealed, and pushed him back an arms length, as if to get a good look at him. He gave a bashful smile, averting his gaze and shrugged.

“Haven’t been back too long. Sorry I didn’t write. You back home for a bit?” He’d asked her, keeping the subject off him.

She was a college girl, much like Steve’s pretty blonde girl. Smart as hell and pretty to boot. Her soft features hadn’t changed much, eyes still bright as ever and lips spread into a familiar, comforting grin. She’d smacked her hand against his chest, pushed him slightly. “I am. Why? You wanna take me out sometime? Like you used to?” She asked, bubbly as ever.

“I just might, if you’re willing,” He grinned right back. The first grin he had since he’d seen his brothers, his old friends.

And take her out he did.

Now, the two of them hadn’t ever really been a ‘thing’. They’d been friendly, talked a lot, eventually started gettin’ affectionate but he didn’t think either of them wanted to put a label of things. She hadn’t, having gotten into that new age idea of goofing around, just living her best life, not worried about settling down, just kicking up dust and running on. He thought that way too, or he thought he thought like that. He thought that maybe settling down was a bit of a joke, something for older folks who knew what they wanted, but sometimes it’d felt like he was just....coasting by on the fumes of her own ideals. That he was just jazzed and caught up in the feeling of her fun, her change, her life. Sodapop was always one to get drunk off life, and she gave him that tugging feeling that drag races had, that dancing around did, and he’d soaked up every moment he could get of it, which was why she was settled against him again, pressed into his side in his bed, delicate fingers playing with his own. Darry and Ponyboy weren’t in the house, which was the only reason she’d come over — he’d allowed her over — and things had led to them snuggled up like they used to be. They lay quietly, Sodapop keeping one arm around her and the other bent at his side as she played with his fingers.

“It fucked you up, didn’t it, Soda?” She eventually broke the silence, voice light as a feather, almost sounding sad. “I can see it, y’know. You don’t smile like you used to,” She reached up to cup his face with one hand, body shifting to be able to get a better look at him. He kept his eyes off her, green-blue gaze locked on the ceiling like it usually was. His body stiffened, hand on his belly curling into a fist. She was the first person to prod him about it, maybe to immediately notice it. Given, he’d kept up his attitude to the best of his abilities and been working, his brothers had been busy with their own things. What was he really supposed to say to her? He didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to face the obvious conclusion she’d come to himself.

But it came out as a soft “Yeah,” His chest rising with a deep sigh, eye flitting to meet hers. “It did.” He admitted, voice thick, low. His throat suddenly felt dry, stung in the way it would as if he were trying to hold himself back from crying. Sodapop held her gaze for what felt like hours, just until her lips pouted and she had her cheek against his bare chest, hand tucking against his body.

There was another bout of silence, and her soft voice broke through the silence again. “You’re gonna be alright, Sodapop, I promise.” It was firm, knowing. She’d always been like that, positive to a fault almost, but he believed her. She’d always been right about things — about her getting into school, Steve, too, Pony getting on well with some of his new friends back after Johnny and Dally had died, about Darry getting another job when he’d lost the other one. She’d always been right, and he had no reason not to be.

Stroking a hand over her hair, he gave a short nod, eyes back on the ceiling, his vision blurred. “I’ll be alright.” He agreed. With you, sat on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t want to put that on her. She was going back to college soon, would be busy with her friends and forgetting about him until she came home again, so he wasn’t going to pressure her into thinkin’ she needed to care about it. “I’ll be alright,” He repeated.

#the outsiders #sodapop curtis #sodapop curtis x reader #sodapop / reader #rumblincadefic

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adampage · 6 years ago

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Oh, Arthur.

Part 1: Nothing Else Matters (link to ao3 if it’s easier to read there)

Pairing: John Marston/Abigail Roberts (mention), John Marston/Arthur Morgan

Word Count: 2402

Warnings: *Don’t read if you haven’t finished the game. Seriously.*

Author’s Note: This b*tch loves happy endings. I’m still catching feelings for Arthur Morgan and I’m not the only one. Part 1 is angsty, but the next few parts will be comfort (and possibly smut? idk yet). Stay tuned.

***

John hadn’t seen Arthur in nearly a decade. The last time he’d seen him, he was running away from Dutch and Micah, tripping his way over stones and dirt on a bloody mountainside. The Pinkertons were right on their tail, too, and Arthur had stayed behind to give John and his family a chance at survival. It ached John to the core to leave him, the way he had, but Arthur hadn’t really given him much of a choice. He was a stubborn old fool if John had ever met one, and it only made sense that he was, given the kind of men that he’d been raised by.

It was difficult to tell which gunshot of the many he’d heard echo throughout the hills was the one that got him, but he remembered one in particular that sounded so terrifying John tripped over his boots and fell to the ground, a cry of frustration preceding the tears that sprang from his eyes, as his heart skipped a beat when he knew. He knew, and there wasn’t a goddamned thing he could do about it now. Arthur was gone, and he’d never come back.

John coughed up bile in the bushes, pang of misery convulsing through him from the battle he’d gone through hours before, on the train. The anxiety bubbling did nothing to help matters, and it took him several moments to calm himself. He thought of Abigail, of Jack...they were waiting on him in Annesburg, with Mrs. Adler protecting them. He knew how wild she could be, and reckless. He only hoped she kept them safe until he got there.

“John, you sorry son of a bitch,” he huffed out, struggling to stand up in his grief and agony, the sound of Pinkerton horses rumbling beneath his feet, “this ain’t no time to be a weak bastard.”

He wandered through the trees, hiding when necessary from men on horseback John knew he couldn’t outrun. He walked all the way down the mountain, until he caught sight of the yellow gaslights hanging from the wooden buildings of Annesburg. Hiding in the shadows from any officials roaming about, he found the house that Arthur told him his family was hiding in. Sadie opened the door with a cocked gun at his face and a knife to his groin.

“Mrs. Adler, always a pleasure,” John groaned.

“John!” Abigail cried from behind her, rushing past the other woman and pulling him into her arms. “John, you’re alive!”

He didn’t have time to register any other words being spoken, before everything went dark.

***

“Wake up, you scarred fool.”

“Leave me be.”

“Oh, so it’s gonna be like that, huh? I always knew you were a lazy sod.”

“Shut up!”

“I’ll be quiet when you learn to wake up before the sun rises.”

“It’s no wonder nobody likes you,” John grunted, eyes flying open to find Arthur dropping his hat on his face.

“Does it look like your opinions matter to me, John Marston? Now wake the hell up before I make sure you never wake up again.”

“Always with the threats,” John’s feet touched the grass as he willed himself awake, “You ever try bein’ nice to people?”

“Last time I was nice to somebody I ended up in jail.”

“That doesn’t say much, considerin’ we’re always runnin’ from the law.”

Arthur whistled for his horse, patting her gently when she trotted over obediently. “Now, that’s a good girl.”

“Ah, still probably ain’t worth it to be nice to you.” Arthur whistled for his horse, patting her gently when she trotted over obediently. “Now, that’s a good girl.”

John sighed as he put his boots on, then put on his dark overcoat. He walked over to his own horse, pulling a carrot out of his coat and feeding the animal. “Oh, what a good girl.”

“You mocking me, Johnny boy?”

John instantly saw red, but kept his emotions in check long enough to mount his horse and follow Arthur to his destination, wherever the hell that was. The truth was, he never knew where he stood with Arthur. One minute, they were like best friends, working together - protecting each other - completely on the same page. And the next, he was listening to Arthur’s incessant poking and prodding, pinpointing all the little things about John that John couldn’t stand about himself. He couldn’t get a read on him sometimes, and it was beginning to drive him nuts. He’d think that after twenty years of Arthur’s bullcrap, he’d be used to it by now.

Maybe he was just a weak son of a bitch.

Or maybe, he was just sensitive to Arthur’s provocations because he longed for his approval. He’d been the apple of Dutch’s eye since they found him, but even as a kid he knew he wasn’t Dutch’s first son. The golden boy, at least to John, was Arthur. And Arthur was the one he always wanted to impress. As a child, he sought the approval of the older boy by following him around everywhere, wanting to learn everything that Arthur could do, just like him. As an older man now, he just wanted his respect. So he did as he was told. Hell, he thought, he’d probably die for Arthur ten times over, if it meant that Arthur would see him as an equal.

But it felt like Arthur always kept his respect a feather out of reach.

“You’re awfully quiet back there. The wolves get your tongue, too?”

“Why are you always screwin’ with me, Morgan? Don’t you have anything better to do? Why do you always call me for help on a job when it seems like you can’t even stand me half the time? Why don’t you get Charles, or-or Lenny to-”

“Shut your goddamn mouth, John, we’re here.” Arthur dismounted his horse, setting it at a picket just outside of Valentine. The sun was rising above the trees, painting the sky in gorgeous pink and orange hues. John settled his horse beside Arthur’s and leaned against the nearest tree, wondering what in the hell this was all about.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, John picking at the grass bordering the tree. He should have taken comfort in the refreshing breeze blowing through the town, but his stomach was full of anxiety. He knew Arthur had reasons for doing the things he did, so he didn’t like to ask more than once. But Arthur was silent, and it was beginning to rub him the wrong way.

Just before John opened his mouth, Arthur stirred, picking himself up. “They’re here.”

“Who’s here?” John asked, already irritated at Arthur’s silence up until this point.

“The book wagon, John. The book wagon.” Sure enough, John heard the faint sound of clopping hooves on dirt road, the wagon coming into view.

John scowled. “Book wagon? You woke me up before sunrise so we could rob a book wagon?”

“Not rob it, you dumb bastard.” Arthur scoffed. “It’s for the kid, John. For Jack.”

“There you go, pretending to be his father again,” John quipped, “You sure the kid ain’t yours?”

John was held up by the lapels of his coat and slammed against the tree before he could even speak another word. Arthur’s eyes were bright with anger, his jaw clenched tight beneath his cowboy hat. Though John feared for his life in that moment, he couldn’t help but notice just how picturesque Arthur looked. It was damn near distracting, in a moment where he should have been completely focused on finding a way to tame the man’s wrath.

“I’m gettin’ real tired of you runnin’ your mouth, boy. The fact of the matter is, I wouldn’t have anything to do with the kid if you’d just man up. Even if he weren’t yours -hell, even if the kid was mine- you love Abigail, don’t you?”

John struggled to speak. “Y-yeah, I do.” He gasped.

“Then what the hell are we even talkin’ about this for? Do right by her son, and you do right by her. Don’t make me have to say this again.” Arthur set John down, mounting back on his horse and heading towards the book wagon. “Reasons as to why I brought you along was so you could take the credit. You think I want your kid likin’ me more ‘n he likes you?”

John swallowed, feeling like a real piece of shit. All Arthur ever did was try to help him be better, and John was always second-guessing his intentions. It was wrong, and unfair. But he could never tell Arthur that.

“What kind of books should we get him?”

Arthur smiled at him, and it damn near took John’s breath away. “I was hopin’ you could tell me.”

***

“Anything else you need from town, sir?”

“Nothin’ you could buy me in a store, son. You be careful.”

“I will.”

“You sure you don’t wanna take Uncle with you? I sure would appreciate it.”

“Ah, I don’t think that’d be a good idea, sir. What if he gets into a fight at the saloon?”

“I guess you’re right, Jack. Well, I tried.” John shrugged, patted the horses, made sure they were hitched correctly to the wagon. “Go on.”

“I’ll see you in a couple hours, sir.”

“Good luck.”

John watched his son drive away, hoping to whoever was up in the sky that his son would make it back home safe. It was the first time since Abigail left that he felt at ease enough to let Jack go anywhere by himself. Truth be told, he was afraid. Afraid that Jack would leave one day and never come back. Just like Abigail. Just like the gang. Just like...Arthur.

“Where’s the kid?” Uncle grunted, taking a swig from his bottle.

“None of your damn business. Now come help me with the herd, would ya? I’m sick of you not earnin’ your keep around here.”

“Now wait just a minute-”

Goddamn, John rolled his eyes. He won’t shut up the rest of the morning. This is what I get for antagonizing the man. “You know what, Uncle? You go ahead and rest. I’ll be fine by myself.”

“Well,” Uncle grinned. “If you insist.”

“Oh, I insist.”

“All right then, Marston.”

John spent the whole morning out on the ranch, repairing his fence where one of the more belligerent bulls had rammed through. After finishing with that, he took a small break under the shade of the tree that looked over Abigail’s garden, wondering where in the hell his life went wrong. He thought Abigail was happy all these years, slavin’ away by his side, watching their little ranch grow into something respectable.

Must not have been good enough.

He sighed quietly to himself. Oddly, her leaving didn’t feel like the end of the world. When she packed up and left, it was just the icing on the cake of a life he screwed up all on his own. It was the last consequence in a series of consequences that were well deserved, from what he could tell.

Oh, Arthur. If you could see me now. Some life you saved.

Arthur Morgan. The only person in his life who didn’t leave out of selfishness. Quite the opposite, really.

John’s nose flared, his body unable to handle reliving old memories. Thinking about Arthur only made him into a mess. In all these years, he’d found and reacquainted himself with all of his friends. Charles and Uncle helped him build the ranch from the ground up, when it was just some backwater piece of crap halfway between Strawberry and Blackwater. Sadie helped him find work (of dubious means), and he even found Mr. Pearson working in Rhodes when he had to deliver a bounty there one day. He spent the night at his house, and even had some of Pearson’s famous beef stew. He definitely didn’t miss it one bit. Lenny he heard was up north, had started a good life with Tilly Jackson. They were partners and owners of a hotel and saloon. Mary Beth, he found working in a law office as some sort of secretary clerk. She told him she was thinking of writing a book about their adventures.

Adventures. Made it sound like they were heroes on a journey. He scoffed. Dutch sure thought that’s what they were. “Dutch weren’t no hero,” he whispered to himself. “And neither am I.” But Arthur was.

All these years, he managed to find all of the friends he had left.

Except Arthur.

And he wasn’t going to.

***

John woke to the sound of Jack approaching in the wagon. He wiped the sleep off his face, disgusted to find that his hands were covered in dirt from sleeping underneath a tree outside. Wiping his hands off on his work pants, he met Jack in front of the house, surprised to find him not alone.

“Hey, pop,” Jack embraced him. John was surprised at the greeting, his son not being one to hug often, or have any physical contact with anyone. He was a quiet kid. But John was weary of the man moving quietly in the shadows of the wagon. “You’ll never guess who I found.”

“Yeah? Who is it?”

“Johnny Marston.”

John’s face went white and his fingers went numb, a cold shiver roaming up his spine. The broad-shouldered man dressed all in black had his face hidden beneath his hat, but he knew that smirk. That stubbled jawline. The leaning of his body, and the hand at his belt buckle. And it nearly swept John off his damn feet.

“Arthur.”

“Come here, you dumb bastard.” He pulled John into a tight hug, and for the first time in a long time John felt like he didn’t have to watch over his shoulder, like he didn’t have to worry about every little thing, like everything that ever mattered in this world was right here, standing in front of him. And yet… he had to know. He had to know how. But first, he was going to revel in the feeling of Arthur’s warmth, his tender embrace absolutely bein’ the thing he needed in this moment.

When Arthur pulled away, he gave John a look like he was waiting on John to say something. Anything. John cleared his throat, realizing he had to play the part of man-of-the-house. “You want to come in?”

Arthur bit his lip, eyes bright with an emotion John couldn’t figure out. “Sure.”

#rdr2 spoilers #arthur morgan x john marston #john marston #arthur morgan #rdr2 #my fics #mine #y'all i'm a Mess

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mademoiselleenjolras · 7 years ago

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Welcome Home

Part One of a thing I’ve been working on for about a month or so now. I’ve finally finished the whole thing, so I’ll post it at intervals because it ended up being about 8,000 words longer than I expected. The idea of Welcome Home (Finale) from Katherine’s point of view has been tossing around in my head for a long time, so that’s what this essentially is. Obviously, I had to take a bit of liberty with timelines, and the stories each stray a bit from the stories described in the song. I am pretty proud of the overall result, though. Anywho let me know what you think.

Johnny made it home Most of him at least Had three operations but the pain has not decreased

Katherine hurried down the block, tugging her coat just a bit tighter around her shoulders as she entered Central Park. A biting December chill had picked up, threatening to steal her breath, and she wondered when the next snowfall would be. The last one had finally melted off and had left behind a mess of soot-covered slush atop nearly everything. Around her, others made their way through the park, families with children wrapped in their warmest coats, two elderly men leaning heavily on canes, a young couple holding hands and staring fondly at each other. Katherine didn’t pay them much attention, but she spared a thought to the lovers and hoped that their troubles were few. Love had seen difficult times in these past years, yet another casualty of a war she had thought might never end, but now that it was over perhaps love could flourish again. If they were lucky, the young pair would never know the fear she had come to. She wondered for a moment if she and Jack had ever looked like that. Shaking herself to dispel the thought, she continued on. Minutes later, she caught sight of a familiar figure sitting- as usual- on a bench beneath a leafless birch tree.

“Hello, Romeo!” She called as she drew nearer. The man’s head snapped up, a wide grin splitting his face when he caught sight of her. He jumped to his feet enthusiastically, just as he did every Monday at eight, and swayed a bit before he caught his balance, just as he did every Monday as well. Katherine stopped herself from reaching out to steady him.

“Hiya, Kath!” Romeo greeted brightly, giving her a quick hug. “How ya been?”

“I’ve been alright. You’re looking well,” she replied, looking him up and down in mock-appraisal. Romeo offered his arm with a cheeky smile. She accpeted it, and the two old friends started off down the path before them.

“Always tryin’ ta look my best when I got a date. Y’know, with such a pretty girl, uh, lady.” He tipped his hat up just a bit in an attempt to recover from the vocal stumble, and Katherine smiled, endeared. Romeo managed a small laugh at himself when she did. “That’s a nice coat you got on. Gonna need it soon, they’re sayin’ its supposed to snow again this weekend.”

Katherine scoffed. “Soon? I need it already, it’s freezing out!” she exclaimed. “Still, it will be nice to have a fresh snowfall to cover all of this mess.” She kicked at a muddy puddle on the side of the path, sending icy grey water sloshing across the frozen grass. “Everything looks prettier after it snows.”

“It sure do,” Romeo agreed, head swiveling to take in the scenery around them as he recalled how it looked two weeks ago, covered in a crisp white powder. The muddy mess that was the park offered little to the eye now.

“You have enough warm clothes to get you through the season, right?” Katherine asked, more out of habit than actual worry. It had been years since she had really needed to worry about any of her newsies being underdressed during the winter. Romeo was obviously dressed just fine for the weather, a heavy brown coat sitting atop his flannel shirt to keep the wind at bay and a pair of boots without any holes on his feet. Still she asked, just to check.

Romeo laughed at her, a joyful sound. “Nah, I’m alright. Got me a nice new hat here, an’ some warm mittens Davey’s Ma sent up. You ain’t gotta worry about me no more, you know that,” he added teasingly, nudging her side.

Katherine playfully shoved him back, careful not to push hard enough to offset his balance. “I know, but I do anyway,” she said around a laugh. “Lucky you, though; Mrs. Jacobs makes the best knitting,” she added, thinking dreamily of the warm sweater and hat back at her tenement. All of their friends had been gifted warm articles by Mrs. Jacobs over the years, whether or not they truly had need of them. To this day, the articles were some of Katherine’s favorite possessions.

“Yeah, and she’s got great timin’, too! They’re sayin’ it’s supposed to snow this weekend,” Romeo informed her. Katherine fought keep her expression carefully neutral.

“Is that so?” she asked as though she had yet to hear.

“Yep, read it in the pape this mornin’. Supposed to be a real heavy one, too,” he said seriously. “Still, the park’ll look real nice when its through.”

“It always does,” Katherine agreed. She couldn’t quite keep the sigh out of her tone, and Romeo turned to her in confusion for a moment before realization seemed to come over him.

“I already said that, didn’t I?” He asked, frowning. Katherine nodded with a wince, but didn’t say anything. “Damn. I forgot again.” She squeezed his arm to show she didn’t mind. The pair continued their walk in silence for a while, both lost in thought.

Despite being the first to return from Europe, Romeo was perhaps the most noticeably changed. He still looked the same, but he seemed younger somehow, reminding Katherine forcefully of their teenage years when they had first met. Romeo had been such a flirt then, if a bit clumsy at it until he grew up some, and he had always been recognized as rather handsome. By the time he had reached twenty and had grown well into both traits, and could have had his pick of girls. Now, all of that childhood clumsiness had returned, and along with them new quirks had arisen. His balance was fragile at best, his movements often sudden and jerky, and his speech was just a bit too slow to be considered “normal.” His flirting no longer held the same smooth charm, fragmented and awkward, and it broke Katherine’s heart to see his expression every time he tried speaking to a girl and she rushed away. And of course, there was the memory loss, things slipping his mind nearly as soon as they entered. She knew that this was what upset him the most.

“Did I say it a long time back?” He finally asked.

“About ten minutes,” she admitted. He deflated even further. Desperate to remove the dejected look from his face, she continued. “Still, that’s longer than you normally go for something so small! You’ve definitely been making improvements.”

Romeo looked at her out of the corner of his eye, tentatively hopeful. “Ya really think so?” he asked.

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” she assured him. Romeo broke into a wide grin, always one to return quickly to a cheerful mood.

“I been tryin’ real hard to remember stuff like that, and the doc says I might get better at it over time. The last surgery helped a lot with the balancin’ problems, so I was thinkin’ maybe it might have helped with my rememberin’, too!”

Katherine didn’t bother trying to correct him; if it kept the smile on his face it was worth the scientific fallacy. “And its not as if you forget the most important things. Like our walks; you’re always here for them; you haven’t once forgotten,” she pointed out.

“Of course I ain’t! How could I ever forget a date with a pretty lady?” he gasped, one hand over his heart to feign shock. They both laughed at that, perhaps a bit harder than the joke actually deserved.

“You are getting better, Romeo. It’s just going to take time,” Katherine said when she caught her breath.

He nodded, gazing out around them again at the park. “That’s real good then. Maybe come spring I’ll be better at keepin’ track of stuff.”

“And maybe come spring, I’ll be able to feel my fingers again!” Katherine exclaimed, rubbing her hands together to warm them up. “I am all but fed up with this weather!”

“You’d better get used to it,” Romeo said with another laugh. “Its only December, this cold ain’t goin’ nowhere. Y’know, they’re sayin’ its supposed to snow again this weekend,” he commented. The levity swept out of Katherine’s chest, snatched up by the chilly wind and carried off. This time, however, she made certain not to show it. The smile stayed firmly fixed upon her face.

“I hope it does; everything looks so much more hopeful after it snows.”

#newsies #newsies fanfic #katherine plummer #romeo #welcome home #bandstand #jack kelly #davey jacobs #racetrack higgins #spot conlon #darcy newsies #jack kelly x katherine plummer #kat's writing

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setoangel01-fanfiction · 8 years ago

Text

Happy Valentine’s Day, Ash

Fandom: Sing 2016

Pairing: Johnny x Ash (Jash)

Rated: T

Chapter Summary: Johnny takes Ash out for Valentine's Day to cheer her up - things go a bit differently than either of them expected.

Fanfiction.net

A03

"You didn't have to do this." Ash reiterated for what may as well have been the thousandth time that night.

"I know, but I wanted to." Johnny answered exactly like he had all those aforementioned times before.

Ash bit her bottom lip in a failed attempt at ignoring the strange glance she'd received from the waitress who had to wait for her to put the glass down before refilling her soda. Once the dark substance reached the brim, Ash reached over; grabbing the cold drink in her hand and taking a long swig of the sweet liquid if only to ignore the look Johnny was giving her over his menu. She adjusted in her seat; plaid red dress itched like fucking crazy and she regretted allowing the guy across from her to convince her to wear it.

Rolling her eyes a bit at his curious glance in reaction to her movement, Ash put aside those notions when she looked at him again. Begrudgingly having to admit he looked very nice if a bit out of place. Bright red button up shirt, black tie and jeans were a far cry from his normal green sweater and signature leather jacket.

Pushing that distracting thought aside, Ash grabbed a roll and began nibbling on the buttery bread as she tried to forget that she was even here and why she even agreed to this at all…

For clarity's sake, today was the most dreaded holiday of all -

Valentine's Day.

Even when she was still with Lance, she hated February 14th almost as much as she hated any other commercial garbage. Suffice to say, her ex was never one to be romantic in the least - didn't buy her cards, flowers, chocolates or any other cliche shit like the cheap asshole he was. The most he ever did for the holiday was reluctantly foot the bill for their cheap dinner at the local fast food joint down the street.

For Ash, Valentine's Day was yet just another day in her hellish life with a boyfriend who never cared for her one bit.

It didn't help in the least having to see all the happy couples smooching and hugging. Girls with their bouquets of flowers and big boxes of candy that constantly surrounded her that day even when Lance would barely hold her hand in public. Mostly walking one step in front of her to assert his idea of dominance and bring the point home, that according to him, she was merely backup.

Of course, it didn't mean she exactly wanted those cheesy things but it would be nice to feel somewhat appreciated at least occasionally - even if it was only one lousy day a year to be treated as more than just his hot little background singer - but that wasn't the case for her.

To make a long story short - Valentine's Day meant jack squat to her.

For some odd reason, she'd been even less happy since post-Lance and post-competition. Ash thought she'd feel more independent and empowered by this point. Treat herself to a nice dinner and buy her own damn box of chocolate to bury her sorrows in but she found herself skirting away from that idea almost as quickly as it infiltrated her subconscious. Ash preferred to sit alone in her apartment like a sad sack; watching anything that didn't have to do with the couple's holiday…

That is until Johnny knocked on her door (in practically a suit mind you) and asked her to join him for dinner.

Ash just stood there blinking at him for a long time until it dawned on her that the gorilla was indeed as serious as a heart attack. Yeah, it wasn't the first time they went out as friends but it being the holiday where couples go out to eat and such rubbed her the wrong way. Suffice it to say, it wasn't as if she didn't think about Johnny in that way - even she'd reluctantly admit, under the threat of death only, that she had a bit of a crush on him.

But that was the thing - Who didn't?

Hell, even their resident powerhouse, Meena, had a blatantly obvious crush on him that Johnny either didn't notice or ignored. Ash believed it was the former even if it was obvious she was like a little sister to him. Point was - everyone's eyes typically lingered a bit too long in most cases when the guy would perform - he drew attention by either singing with that powerful soulful drawl or doing nothing more than being his normal sweet self.

Johnny seemed to have his own gravitational pull.

In the long run, it would be easier to find a person who didn't have a crush on the guy.

Johnny just oozed positivity and gentleness - who wouldn't be completely attracted to that?! He was basically the perfect boyfriend/husband material bundled with good looks and the sweetest demeanor you could ask for.

So, who cared if he made her heart flutter and palms sweat; knees go weak when he was around. Gentle, soothing voice calming her like nothing else could. The way he always had such kind things to say and always worried for her welfare when no one else had given much a crap about her before…

…that didn't mean anything…did it?

Ash would even admit that he was the whole package - handsome, fit, kind, gentle, sweet, and had a gorgeous accent and voice (not to mention a nice ass) to boot but after her prick of an ex made her life a living hell, she wasn't exactly willing to throw herself back in the market again so soon.

Lance's betrayal still felt far too fresh to just jump right back into the dating scene.

Ash decided that she would rather explore who exactly she was first - spend some time on herself and learning to be alone for a change - but sadly, that didn't help either. She found herself depressed within months after their last concert and during the rebuilding; the music and songs she wrote leaning onto much darker subjects and feelings she'd suppressed a lot of during the competition. Betrayal, heartache, and pain she still had to work on getting out but it had gotten to the point where even Buster had noticed this was way beyond her typical teenage angst. Against everything she wanted, he suggested taking a break to "re-evaluate her life" as he called it. That koala was as honest and salty as they came.

The week off was probably the worst idea ever.

Holing herself up in her apartment and being forced to think about the sad state of her emotional status. After her writing and singing "Set It All Free", having a good career and friend's support, and especially and being rid of the toxic bastard for good, she thought she'd be in a better place emotionally.

Yet now she had to deal with the fact that since she wasn't now allowed to go to the theater, she couldn't just ignore all the calls pouring into her phone. Blocking his number didn't even help for now that she was home, Lance started showing up unannounced to her apartment at all hours of the day and night, which was sure to drive anyone up the wall.

It wasn't exactly Lance just being there and knocking like crazy - it was what he began to say through the door that angered her more than anything…

"I know you're in there!"

"Ash, babe, c'mon, I said I was sorry. How many times you gonna make me say it?"

"Let me in - I promise, we'll just talk."

"Give me another chance - I even got rid of Becky for you!"

"You did one freakin' concert! Even if you got your 15 minutes of fame and some decent gigs, you'll still never find anyone better than me…"

That last one killed her yet she never bothered to dignify him with an answer.

Ash abhorrently loathed the certainty and smugness in his voice that made her want to swing open her door and punch his stupid face in. How dare he insinuate that she of all people needed a douche-nozzle like him back in her life…

She reasoned with herself that Lance's latest reappearance yesterday was the only reason she agreed to Johnny today. She desperately clung to that connotation even as she dug out the only red dress (per his request) from her closet. She threw it on without even bothering to put on make-up or wearing a decent pair of shoes all while he waited for her in the living room.

Johnny still didn't seem to care about her lack of trying when she walked out of her bedroom.

Instead, he just smiled at her like normal before taking her to one of the nicest restaurants in town without nary a word on her haggard appearance…

"What are you thinking of ordering?" Johnny's pleasant accent infiltrated her ears, suddenly breaking her out of her inner turmoil.

Ash shrugged.

"I dunno…it's all kinda expensive." Ash finally said - her frugal nature dying a hard death as she stared at the double digits of all the entrees. She had to spend wisely to scrounge by while Lance wasted her hard-earned money. Her ex was like a sponge; forcing her to work menial jobs to get by on rent, bills, etc. Causing her to always be the responsible one; saving every single penny to survive - now here comes Johnny willing to shell out big bucks just to make her feel special on this shitty holiday wasn't making her decision any easier.

"I told you - no looking at the prices. It's my treat." he said and the sugary sweetness leaching out of his mouth made her teeth ache.

Ash just "hmm'ed" in response; re-reading the specials before landing on something she'd been craving for awhile. A dish she used to get when her parents (when they were still married) used to drag her to fancy restaurants like this.

"In that case, I'll get the lobster." she was halfway teasing just to see the horrified expression on his face from the mention of a $40 entree, but it backfired.

Johnny just smiled; his canines on proud display as he nodded at her choice.

"Sounds good."

"...Seriously?" she couldn't help but mutter out, almost choking on a piece of dinner roll in the process.

"Yeah. You should definitely get that. I've never been fond of seafood but lobster is delicious - from what I remember anyway. Only had it once as a lad still living in England." he spoke like he did all the time. Accent airy, light, sweet and always finished with a fabulous smile.

God, this guy drove her freakin' crazy sometimes…

Ash's eyes were wide and shocked but Johnny didn't seem to mind as he went back to glance across the menu. She was about to say something but the waitress returned before she could utter a single syllable.

"How is everything so far?" the waitress asked, giving her a half grin before she purposefully gave a big, sultry smile to Johnny and for a reason unbeknownst to her, that really ticked her off more than it should have.

Ash didn't really care that countless women flirted with Johnny wherever they went…but after awhile, it began to get on her last damn nerve.

Especially considering how damn naive Johnny was to all of it…

No, she didn't exactly have the right to be mad for all intense and purposes, her and Johnny were basically "just friends" but still, when you're out to dinner with someone, especially on Valentine's Day, that should mean something. Like don't fucking make eyes at a man when he's having dinner with another girl, but apparently, this chick didn't get it. Johnny wasn't technically friend-zoned - even if she wasn't crazy about the offer of a candle at dinner or all too aware of the fact she had a chronic condition of resting bitch face - so the damn waitress shouldn't have picked up on that or assumed otherwise…

"It's great." Johnny replied, not even noticing when the employee's green eyes skirted to his body longer than what was necessary.

"Wonderful. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." the woman said with what to Ash sounded like a purposeful innuendo…

Ash was surprised at herself; suddenly shook her head as if to rid herself of her obsessive thoughts, adamant to stay silent for she assumed she was perhaps being overly dramatic or just seeing things. But those thoughts flew out the window when the waitress suddenly caressed a slim paw across Johnny's broad shoulder as slyly as possible - as if she was shooing away a bug or something but Ash knew better.

Biting her tongue, Ash pushed those thoughts back - perhaps there was a reasonable explanation - maybe she just recognized him as the cute British-accented singer from television but the longer the cheetah glared unnecessarily long at Johnny, Ash began to further doubt it.

That look on her face was more of wanting to mount him (or the other way around) than wanting his autograph…

"So…are you ready to order?" the waitress continued with an unnecessary roll of her tongue.

Aw, hell no…

"Hey, how about we get more rolls here first?" Ash asked the tall, slim woman.

Empty bread basket dangling out of her fingers as she stared up at the woman; being sure to give her a less than pleasant smile as she interrupted whatever the flaunting bimbo was about to purr out next.

"Oh. Yes, please." Johnny intervened a lot more polite than the hussy deserved to be addressed but Ash let it go.

"Of course. I-I'll be back to take your orders." the waitress, whose name tag said Savannah, spoke before giving one last lingering glance to Johnny before she disappeared into the back room; thin tail swishing behind her. If Ash wasn't mistaken, her scrawny ass should not have been sauntering that much…

Not even aware of the dirty look she was sending the disappearing waitress til Johnny spoke up.

"Is everything alright, Ash?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah." Ash shrugged off his confused glance with a lazy smile.

Johnny didn't look all too convinced, but as usual, he just accepted it in that laid-back way of his.

"You sure you wanted more bread? You might get full before the meal even arrives."

Of course he was the level-headed reasonable one…

"Nah. I didn't eat much today, "she lied, "I can pack it in when I want to."

Dammit, why did that sound sexual? What the hell was wrong with her brain tonight?

"Alright. Whatever you say." Johnny replied with a deep chuckle tickling his throat as he placed the menu aside to take a drink of his tea. He was not helping the British stereotyping she constantly teased him about…

About to retort with a well-timed quip when Savannah returned; bread basket piled high with more rolls and she placed them gently in the middle of the table.

Ash was careful to sense a bit of irritation reeking of her in waves, yet didn't say anything as the annoyingly elegant and graceful woman pulled back to reach for her notepad.

"What can I get you?" Savannah asked, her almond shaped green eyes flicking over to Johnny.

"Ladies first." Johnny replied, gesturing to Ash and the waitress sent a smile her way even if wasn't half as bright as the one she sent Johnny earlier.

"Of course. My apologies. What may I get for you tonight, ma'am?"

Ash cringed at the moniker but answered anyway.

"I think I'll have the lobster." she requested, slipping closed the leather bound menu with a satisfying thwack. She flinched at the sudden wind in her face; she was far too used to reading off an illuminated menu at a fast food joint. This all still felt so weird…

"Alright. Roasted red potatoes and corn on the cob alright for the sides?" Savannah asked, scratching the pen lightly on her notepad; not really even bothering to spare the porcupine more than a quick glance. Ash felt the sudden desire to kick the woman in the shin.

"Yep." Ash replied, placing the menu back down before taking another languid drink of her soda. Inwardly cursing that she was still not legally old enough to drink alcohol - she'd never been more tempted to break out her fake ID more than ever tonight..

"For you, sir?"

"Um. I think I'll have the sirloin - medium well, please."

"Great choice." the waitress replied and Ash cringed at the not so subtle smile she flashed him. "What sides would you like with that?"

"They all sound so good! What would you suggest?" Johnny asked.

Why did he have to be so damn friendly?

Savannah made a big production of getting closer to him, peering over his wide shoulder before speaking, "My favorites are the garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus." she finished, languidly pointing to the options with her pen as she spoke. Her arm lingered over his a bit too long much to Ash's annoyance.

"That sounds wonderful. Let's do that." Johnny replied while handing her the menu.

Ash carefully noticed the shy smile the waitress sent him and if anything, her blood just boiled further.

"Perfect. I'll get your orders sent back. Anything else you need?"

"For you to kindly fuck off…" Ash muttered internally, the words desperate to escape but she also didn't want this chick spitting in her food or something.

"Nope. Thanks a lot." Johnny was all too accommodating with his bright white smile that the cheetah eagerly returned.

"Of course. I'll be back." she promised before disappearing into the back again.

"...don't bother, lady…" Ash muttered under her breath into another warm buttered roll.

"What?" Johnny asked. The poor naive soul.

"Nothing." Ash replied, wiping her buttery fingers on the cloth napkin atop her crumb-strewn lap. "So…you regret asking me here yet?"

The confusion and surprise on his face was almost comical, "What are you talking about, Ash? Are you not having a nice time?"

"It's alright. Not exactly my scene but-" she trailed off with a shrug and groaned at how her bothersome dress bunched up around her waist when she did so. Not even embarrassed anymore as she made a big production of yanking it down.

"It's not necessarily mine either." Johnny replied with a laugh; nervously adjusting the tie around his neck; if she knew any better, he looked rather uncomfortable in his clothes too. "B-But I thought you deserved to be treated nice today and this fit the bill - also, this was one of the only restaurants in town that still had reservations open."

As sweet as it sounded, it rubbed her the wrong way.

It felt too much like pity since she had been feeling like utter shit lately and Johnny was a good (…great…best) friend who probably picked up on that before anyone…it still didn't make it any less irksome.

"Johnny. I gotta ask you something." Ash stated before her brain could really catch up.

"Of course. Anything." he replied while taking a sip of his drink.

"Why the actual fuck are you doing this?" she asked, holding back a snort when he suddenly spat out a bit of his tea onto the table the second the curse left her lips.

"Excuse me?" he sounded so offended as he wiped off the remainder from his mouth with the white cloth napkin.

"Listen. I appreciate the sentiment, I really do. But who are we trying to kid? Even if we're making decent money now, this isn't for either of us." she said a bit louder than intended, ignoring the sudden stares of their fellow diners.

More happy couples to bother her…just peachy…

"I know that and I told you a dozen times already, I wanted to do this for you." Johnny reiterated as he had all night - displaying the same calmness he always showcased.

"You're still not answering the 'why', Johnny." Ash clarified, leaning back in her chair in hopes the earth would open up and swallow her whole. Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut for once? She could have just eaten and enjoyed the damn lobster, but no…she had to play twenty questions instead.

"Do I need a reason to want to ask you, my best friend, out for dinner?"

Ash cringed at how he said it but answered anyway.

"'Friends' don't do this for each other. C'mon, Johnny, we've known each other for awhile now... I mean, yeah, I appreciate you trying to drag me out of my funk lately, but I don't know…I just…I don't get it - you could have asked someone else. Someone who might have appreciated it more and you could have had a lot more fun than you're probably having with me, and - " Ash tapered off, hands subconsciously reaching for another roll when Johnny suddenly reached across the table and placed his hand over hers before she even got close to the basket.

"I am having a good time with you - like I always do." he spoke clearly.

Ash froze; eyes wide as she stared at his large hand over hers; fingers enveloping her small paw and his palm felt so wonderfully warm against her slightly chilled skin.

A slightly frustrated sigh left his throat before he began to speak.

"Listen...I-I never wanted to push you, Ash." Johnny spoke; his voice escaping in a hushed whisper and she couldn't help but lock eyes with him across the table.

Ash was sorely tempted to pull her hand away; push those lingering doubts about her real feelings for Johnny aside but for some reason, her hand refused to budge. Fur prickling on the back of her neck when his thumb brushed ever so gently over the back of her hand.

"What are you talking about?" her mouth moved without her permission but the words came before she could stop them.

A part of her was terrified.

For so long, she knew where she and Johnny stood - best friends on the edge of perhaps something greater but never delving off that cliff. Instead, they hung out - going over to each others respective places to watch a movie or bum around, maybe practice a song or two, but she was not at all prepared to think of it further when Johnny suddenly let out another languid breath before continuing.

"Ash…I-I've never really hid how I've felt about you. At least, I tried to be transparent in that sense…" Johnny whispered with the barest hints of a shrug and it was so incredibly boyish that it had her heart accelerating in her chest. Feelings she cared not to ponder long arose in her and Ash bit the inside of her cheek to feel anything other than them.

Ash did not want to have this discussion.

Refused to believe the whole time how many hints Johnny always dropped. Disregarding how he never treated other girls the way he did her; even when it came to going out but she was adamant it was only as friends. Never wanting to get wrapped up into something she had no idea how to handle anymore. She didn't want another repeat of Lance - a cute guy reeling her in hook, line, and sinker. Her ending up falling for it like so many times before for the dude to just cheat on her and use her for his own selfish gain…but one thing always bothered her to acknowledge…

Johnny was not Lance.

"You know I'd never force you into anything you don't want, Ash." Johnny admitted, hand gently squeezing hers as his other scratched nervously at the back of his head. "I never wanted to be too forward or make you uncomfortable with asking you out officially so soon after your breakup. You know that's not who I am. If you want honesty, Ash, the reason I asked you here tonight is because I thought you deserved a nice Valentine's Day…" Johnny explained before his hand was gone.

For some reason, she hated how unbelievably cold she felt now - as if in those few moments she'd felt sun for the first time after a seemingly endless harsh winter…

Ash was left utterly speechless for what had to be the first time in her life.

If Lance had ever showed kindness to her, there was always another motive or he needed/wanted something in return. True unconditional kindness was nothing she was used to - didn't totally know how to handle it when people were just doing something out of the goodness of their heart. Always putting up defenses in fear of being hurt was who she had become - and for now, the walls stayed if only to preserve that part of herself.

"I…I'm sorry if it seems as if I had different intentions. I swear I did not. I didn't want you to think we have to date now or something."

"Yet you showed up at my house in a tux." Ash muttered out.

"...Perhaps I wanted to persuade you to get out of the house for a bit. I hated seeing you cooped in there since Buster banned you from the theater. I-I just wanted you to have a nice time." Johnny wasn't looking at her now, eyes steadfast on the table where he worried the cloth between his thumb and index.

"...So, is that what all those other times were too? You know, the movies, pizza at your place, and even the arcade? I don't recall being down in the dumps then…" she asked and a half-smile formed when instantly, Johnny's face flushed.

Why did he have to be so damn cute when he was embarrassed?

"Like I said before…I never wanted to push you into anything, Ash." Johnny shrugged before meeting her eyes again. "You told me how your ex never treated you right. Always pushing you to the side as if you were better in the background. I hate to say it, but when you told me that, I'd never been angrier at someone before in my entire life ."

Ash's eyes widened in utter shock and her wall began crumbling.

"For that bloody wanker to treat a beautiful lady, such as yourself, so rudely is downright despicable." Johnny spoke with such hardened conviction - even barely concealed anger - and her heart started to beat frantically against her chest when she heard it lacing that normally calm voice.

It only dawned on her now that Lance never called her beautiful - it was always just "Ash", "babe", or the worst one by far, "you're super hot" he coined only when he was really drunk.

Lance never referred her to with such refined terms…

She had little time to contemplate it further when Johnny continued to speak.

"What he did to you wasn't right and a part of why I did this was to show you how you should have been treated… Treasured. So, yes, maybe I had a bit of a selfish motive for wanting to spend this day with you…but…" Johnny tapered off; eyes once again lowering as if ashamed and it broke her fucking heart to pieces. "I-I understand if all of this is just fruitless for me and really, that's perfectly okay. I just want you to be happy, Ash. That's enough for me."

The softness he spoke with. How a true gentlemen spoke and how she never bothered to admit it before. Everything Johnny had done; whether it be calling her up at the most random times just to see how she was feeling, bringing over food or a new movie to watch on weekends. Always spending time with her to cheer her up and she did appreciate having him around her house.

The stifling loneliness actually drifted away during those times…

Now, here he was - baring a heart so pure and leaving it on the table. The ball in her court. To either just accept his friendship - Johnny would never push her for anything further. Or to see beyond the kindness he portrayed; the boy who had been perusing her for awhile without her caring to comprehend it at all. He didn't blatantly ask her for a date or kiss; just was there as a constant friend who was willing to wait for her to realize the amazing opportunity she had right in front of her this whole damn time...

As she sat there and looked at him, it seemed to hit her all in the chest at once…

What the hell was she so afraid of?

Before Ash had any time to really think of what to do, say, or even how to react, apparently her body decided for her. Seeing that sadness on Johnny's face that didn't belong whatsoever, Ash moved; desperate to erase that expression from his face as quickly as possible.

So, in this pretentious, flamboyant restaurant filled with dignified people, Ash suddenly climbed atop the table much to Johnny's (and the fellow customers) shock. Dark soda knocked over and spilling across the pearly white canvas in the process as she made her way over to Johnny.

The sound of the table jostling and glass hitting the table with a thunk caused Johnny to look up. Wide brown eyes lifted to hers in obvious confusion of what exactly was happening yet before Johnny could even utter a word out of that cute mouth of his, Ash shut him up with her own.

The shock of feeling's Johnny's mouth under hers was shocking to say the least - for damn, did it feel a helluva lot better than those previous times the unwarranted thoughts flitted through her brain. Her hands were less than gentle as she grasped onto the fur on his cheeks and tilting her head against his mouth.

Ash became instantly aware of two things in that moment - One, this had to be Johnny's first kiss for he didn't know what the hell he was doing. Two - she didn't care because it felt that amazing.

It was sloppy; his mouth completely unsure as he maneuvered to try and perfectly fit it against hers. Ash couldn't help but smile against his lips and pull him closer out of sheer need to have his warmth closer. Large hands trembled only for a second as they skirted firmly over her hips before grasping lightly onto her sides and back and holding her tight as she grasped onto him.

Ash was so lost in the sensation of his mouth that she didn't even care that her annoying dress again rode up; she was just happy she'd worn leggings.

Her quivering legs gave out after a few more moments; her knees hitting the hard table were ignored as she deepened the kiss. Ash learned yet something else in this small chunk of time - Johnny was a notoriously fast learner. She suspected if he could learn the piano that fast, his kissing skills were no different. He began returning it more intensely - seemingly uncaring they were now essentially making out in front of a group of strangers.

Neither wanted this moment to end but eventually, their kisses ebbed away to soft brushings of mouths and eventually pulling back enough to shyly glance into each others heavily-lidded eyes.

"Ash…?" Johnny muttered breathlessly; his warm breath skirting pleasantly over his face. There was so many questions in just him breathing out her name but she didn't care to answer them right now.

Instead of responding verbally to him, she leaned in to kiss him again - desperate to taste his lips again.

"Just take that as a yes." she spoke once she reluctantly pulled away and the shy smile he gave her had her chest aching in the best way.

"You mean…we can…date?" he asked.

"Would I have kissed you in a packed restaurant if I was going to say 'no'? And if it's any consolation, I never kissed Lance in public."

"I suppose not." he shrugged.

"It's a resounding yes but only on one condition, Johnny."

"Uh. Sure. Of course. What's that?"

"Never bring me here again."

"Heh." the relief that flooded his face was almost comical, "No problem. There's an awesome burger stands an uncle of mine owns that a lot better - won't empty your wallet either." he answered with a chuckle and grimace as he pulled at his tie again, "Best part - no dress code."

"Then what the hell are we doing here? Can't we just leave this stuffy, lame joint and go there?"Ash groaned; feeling now so out of place in the restaurant full of chandeliers and people in clothes that cost more than a few months of her rent. It was only now that they realized that they indeed were not the only two people in the world.

"Heh. You're right." Johnny chuckled and seemed to just now notice every single patron's eyes were still glued on the couple - including the stunned waitress standing by their table with a pitcher of tea.

"Uh… Check please." he timidly continued, face as red as a tomato and Ash couldn't help but laugh.

Walking out of that restaurant felt better than it probably should have.

No, not everything was perfect but it shaped up to be a much better day than either could have anticipated. Ash took a moment to glance up into the gray winter sky as the snowflakes began gently falling to the earth. What seemed so depressing this morning was now calm and rather beautiful to her now. Who would have thought all you needed was a little change in perspective to see the world through a whole new set of eyes?

Ash let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding when Johnny's hand suddenly moved to grasp hers.

The nip in the air didn't seem as bad when his warm hand enveloped her own. She took a moment to glance up at him; black blazer rather fetching on his frame even if it was a bit too big. Red shirt now had the first few buttons undone and his tie was dangling over his shoulders. She smiled in picturing him rooting through his dad's and uncle's closets just to find something suitable to wear in order to take her out to dinner. More amazingly was how he openly admitted it; so endearing on how much work he'd put into this whole plan of his.

How it ultimately paid off for both parties involved…

"Happy Valentine's Day, Ash…" Johnny spoke; hand gently squeezing hers in a firmer hold. The breath leaving his mouth coiled around his face until it disappeared into the grayness of the cold air. His kind brown eyes crinkling around the edges as he smiled at her and it was now she knew she would never get tired of seeing that smile.

"You too." Ash chuckled before walking closer to his side to rest her head on his forearm.

Smiling beside herself as she took a deep breath of the fresh winter air surrounding them during the slow walk to his uncle's restaurant. A feeling of complete warmth and happiness she hadn't felt for a long time settling permanently in her chest.

Yeah, as cliche as it sounded…perhaps from now on, Valentine's Day (and pretty much every day in between) wouldn't be so bad anymore.

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sorayahigashikata · 6 years ago

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Chapter 13: "Death is coming!"

#Paula reads SBR #Chapter 13 #Part 7 spoilers #Steel Ball run spoilers

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worldofsurvivortibet-blog · 8 years ago

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EPISODE 1 (Part 1) - “I'll be sharpening my knife just in case” - Eddie

JULIA RAE

im gay

TRYSTEN

The Cheshire Cat is back again

ELENA

Ok it is only like 15 minutes into the game so I don't have anything to say but I love you Jay! So I am making a confessional <3

EDDIE

Im y'all putting me on a tribe with Jaiden who I have not talked to for months and who is in general probably the messiest org player you will find on the planet. I'm in vermont right now in at an inn with shitty service so I'm definitely ready to be booted out of this thing pretty quickly. But I'll be sharpening my knife just in case I can somehow make it a swap.

DARIAN

This season I'm going to write actually decent confessionals. At least I hope! This tribe is pretty lit and the people are so nice! I obviously haven't had a lot of time to get to know everyone but I cant wait! I really think this is going to be a great season!

JAIDEN

I'm actually pretty content with the tribe I got placed on, because I only know Eddie. I could probably use that to my advantage but I don't know if he likes me so... good luck to me. I like playing in games where I know very few people but I am definitely a little worried about Keyonjay being on the other tribe because he will probably go out before I ever swap onto the same tribe as him, and that lowkey sucks. I'm also SUPER concerned about Ting Ting because I hear she's a huge threat and she and Seamus are like, dating IRL or something so hmm. Gonna keep that on my radar.

DANI

Five minutes in and I already hate my tribe, there isn't really anyone I can put my trust in, we better not lose the first immunity challenge, I'm not leaving first again...

CHRISSA

um I hope i am okay in this game idk these people too well and I just hope i can stay a while I fucking hate not knowing the cast before but whatever can i just say I love Jay and that is all.

CARSON

Our tribe is really talkative... which is horrible for me bc im not asdfghjkl. Oh well we have a lot of comp beasts on out tribe so we should be good.

ACE

I've never done this in a game before but let me do a little cast assessment. First let's start with my tribe, Namtso! Jared and I have a lil history in games where I always always always get him out somehow someway. Who knows if he'll trust me! I LOVE KENDALL, nuff said. I have no idea who all the others are but I hope I can make friends with them and have them not vote me off n stuff. In Kailash, I already have Carson added but idk them that well. I love Chrissa and I hope we both make merge or swap on a tribe together and be besties. Dani can go! I love Elena I hope we can acc work together earlier this time than I did in Pompeii. I'm not sure about Seb, he literally just evicted me as hoh in another game rofl. Everyone else idk but I hate that I know more ppl on this tribe than my own tribe. I guess I gotta get talking huh? The last tribe with the unreadable buff has Matt and Trysten. Matt's my fellow furry and Trysten is also semi-furry so I hope they can survive. As for Jaiden, FUCK him I hope he gets out before I even have to deal with his ass. And again idk everyone else.

JAIDEN

Two confessionals in one night? Not surprising. I was really excited to have a non-messy tribe but for some reason, I'm put with two fellow normal people and four confirmed freaks. I don't even know who Johnny is yet but he's literally looped in with those weirdos until further notice. Let's do a quick cast assessment of my tribe, which I forgot its name already because ? flops only. EDDIE - Y'all really did this to me, huh? Eddie hasn't spoken to me since BEFORE October because that's the furthest our chat history even goes. It's me sending messages and him not responding and it's literally the most disappointing thing ever because now I have to work with him in order to exterminate the furries and dildo freaks of this tribe. He's a nice guy and I will only allow him to stick around premerge because he is also a huge threat and a bigger backstabber than I am. JAIDEN - flop JOHNNY - He is not here yet but I think he'll be cool to talk to later on I guess, because we're the same age but he seems more "put together" and like he has legitimate goals in his life. But he's also a college student so I don't expect him to be around much, so I just want to work with him until there is no more need for him if he truly is an inactive person. JULIA - Honestly? She's fucking annoying already lmao SORRY IF UR READING THIS but she talks about dildos and getting fucked in the ass by furries and it's just like... calm down. It's day one and she's already said about 500 things and it's 500 things too much. Definitely bottom of the tribe so far lmao. MATT - He IS loud and cocky and I think he's going to try really really hard to be the Tyson-esque villain this season, so he's also my least favorite because he is not going to be genuine or good at this game. He could go. TING TING - She's sweet so far but she's really hard to talk to because her answers are so short and they can end a conversation in a second. I feel like she's the only person I like at the moment and that sucks so much because damn, she's not easy to talk to. I'm hoping that we have to go to tribal council first though and pump some of those strategic juices into the tribe because I feel like she'll open right up if that's the case. TRYSTEN - Okay I immediately want him to be first boot because he's the most annoying but in subtle ways. He's like "SOMEONE ALREADY THINKS IM AN ALT" and like well, maybe because you're so adamant that you aren't??? Like shut up. And he's saying that Dani is his sister or something in his cast intro and literally no one cares, but you're just a freak thats putting a huge target on their back for no reason. Anyways...enjoy being the only person to get 21st place in this series :o FLOP! So yeah, there's my cast assessment for this tribe. Hopefully I can fall into an alliance and not get first boot from this horrific tribe, but it could probably be worse on the other side. Wish me luck, and tell the VL to suck my left nut! xoxo

KEYONJAY

I really like my tribe a lot. I have a really good feeling about Nicholas, that he could be a strong ally down the road. Kendall is hilarious, I'm vibing with her pretty well. I've had a short conversation with Amanda. Ace is a fucking amazing artist, and newlyf is cool even though I don't even know their real first name and they haven't messaged me back lol. I like everybody so far and I'm making a conscious effort to get to know everybody unlike in my other games where I would wait for people to come to me. Maybe it's the power of the meesh avatar, but I really hope my social game is better this time around. Y'all wrong for making this the first challenge tho @hosts.

MATT

So I just wanna make a SHORT rant on how I feel about my tribemates. Eddie: Eddie my fellow Gorlley. You're cool and I hope we do get to work together moving forward here. Jaiden: Bruh, you're funny and you also seem cool af. Let's pray my opinion on you doesn't change Johnny: Why u no active? Julia: I really feel like you might become one of my best friends here. You're really cool to talk to Matt: You sexy monster you. *winks* Ting Ting: Just like Julia, you really might become one of my best friends here. Trysten: Stop lying about being an angel, I can see right into your soul.

KEYONJAY

So I really wasn't gonna do the day one alliance thing, but Kendall proposed we go into an alliance and ofc I'm gonna say yes. haha. I do actually like her a lot so that's good. She pulled in Ace, and I wanted to pull in Nicholas because I feel like me and him gel pretty well. Hopefully people see Kendall as the figurehead because my whole strategy was to fly UTR but things change like that in this game. Basically, I just wanna make friends with everybody so I'm not the target regardless, do well in the challenges, and not overthink things like I usually do.

ACE

I'm talking to Ally in PC and I swear I'm getting Mega vibes from her. I swear if Ally is Mega....

KENDALL

Hello. It's me. I've been wondering after all these years, if you'd like to me. To go over everything.... Yeah that's all I know, I mean sure I could look up the lyrics on Google but I am far too lazy. No wait I also know HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE It has been ten billion years since my last confessional/game, which may seem mathematically impossible because I've only played survivor for one year but shut up because this is my confessional... bitch. Any who, I am back with two percent more evil and one percent more effectiveness. No longer will I be a drifter, just sort of hanging back and waiting for anyone to pick me up and drag me along, I will be the leader!!!!!!!! Despite having about zero charisma and even less interpersonal skills. But my mommy says I am special so there. Anyway I have made an alliance with people. Ew gross I know. But it has to be done. I've made a group of people who were speficially selected because of their incompetence in some areas. Ace the Squabit: I've played with Ace in Pompeii, we aligned for a short period of time before Drew voted him out. He is incredibly intelligent but he isn't particularly social. Creating a bond with him shouldn't be too difficult because of this fact. Keyonjay Dixon: Aside from having a bitchin' name, Keyonjay has one of the rare characteristics of getting my sense of humor. He isn't very connected to the community so I don't have to worry about any pregame alliances he may have made. In a previous game, he stated to have "played for someone else," time will tell if he will repeat this mistake. And last but not least we have, Nicholas: I don't know him very well and I don't have as much control over him as I do the others. Which frightens me... but I think we get along just fine. I've recommended Survivor seasons to him because he hasn't seen the show so maybe that will bring a bond of some sort. As for the other tribe members, Amanda seems pretty chill and Newlyf is fucking hilarious. I'd like to avoid getting them out if I can. Jared on the other hand... I don't particularly care. He is so boring and has terrible spelling, two of the worst qualities. He called me a psycho in a PM to Ace, which is mildly amusing because I don't think he knows how far it really goes. He doesn't trust Ace, he doesn't like me, he was barely on for the first half of the game. Jared serves no use to me or anyone in my cult... sorry alliance lol auto correct. Anyway I will update when I get more information but until then... HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

DANI

I really wanna trust these people, but I really cant. I literally have one ally and it's already almost day 2. Well, one ally is better than none I guess. I just really wanna win immunity. I'm not taking the risk of going to tribal council.

EDDIE

Basically Ting Ting is a queen and I'm planning on making her my Sam of this game and I've pretty much let her know that. Although idk if she finds it sketchy that after once hour I said that but I honestly don't have as much time as a thought as I would so I need to leech myself to a strategically gifted iconic queen that will carry me through the beginning stages of the game into the merge. I honestly haven't decided if I'm going to stay loyal to Ting or not. But if I do vote her out it wouldn't be until the final 5 which is about the time that I probably should've cut Sam in bangladesh but I didn't cause I'm an emotionally human being. By that time though I'll probably have become way too close with Ting to cut her and I will probably make the same mistake I did in Bangladesh which is not taking out the clear jury threat and the person who will obviously win the game at the end. But that won't matter to me as long as I get to have fun bathing in the blood from all the other people who's demise I will cause. I'm going to busy these first rounds of the game but once things slow down and I settle into my city life I should be able to really get into it. I don't need other people knowing that though. Right now I'm just gonna play the sort of active, sort of inactive number for who ever is running the tribe (which will probably be ting which is why I decided to leech myself onto her). I believe Jaiden will try to run the tribe but he and I mean... he can think he is. But I will make sure Ting Ting knows all about his ruthless gameplay and the erratic and messy way he plays. She can do all the work rope in the numbers and I'll just be her little yes man. Whatever gets me to the swap tbh. Either way, I want to keep Jaiden on the outs while making him believe he's the leader. If I have it my he will be first boot, but if not I will coddle him and make him feel like I'm close with him right until I put the knife in his back which I'm hoping will he sooner rather than later, especially on a tribe with such small numbers. Idk how well that will work but it's worth a shot. I also have been talking to Roxy a bit and also matt. Im gonna go to them tomorrow on my drive home from vermont and be like "hey guys!!! Im a busy man!!!! Sorry couldn't talk to you last night!!!! And then talk to them all the way on the ride home and build up some type of bond or whatever.... Jaiden not being around tomorrow should make it even worse on him? Either way, I'm going to do a faceplant into Ting Tings ass. I have no shame in kissing someones ass just to get myself further in this game. That's what this is all about amiright? I'm honestly ready to be first boot, but if I'm not this should be fun.

ACE

I should be scared of the Pokemon Camp Community but I'm not really. Its true they are a force and nobody could stand against them if they are all together but I doubt half of them would make merge. Kendall and I are already planning on taking out Jared if we ever lose cuz he said he doesnt trust me and called Kendall a psycho (which is true in a good way~) Dani and Trysten might seem like a threat to others in tribe stage due to Trystan's bio I guess? I dunno. As for Seb idk why yall casted him cuz he's probably most likely 75% chance going to strike out and be removed anyway so nobody should worry about him.

DARIAN

So. It's been a day and someone has already asked to work with me. #Dani. I dont know where this is going to go i know I'm not committing myself to anything this drastic on day one. I guess it's nice to know I have one option! Dani seems really nice! So who knows

DANI

If we don't win this fucking reward challenge I will be PISSED, I busted my ass in that stupid ass unicorn game and pretended to enjoy that shit so other people would do it.

KENDALL

https://youtu.be/v5O6_rA0VFc

MATT

Honestly, I feel like I did good on this first challenge. I still trying to figure out who on my tribe would be the best for me to make an alliance with. In a sense, I am somewhat apprehensive because of Lazio and its endless tribe swaps....eh, time to snoop around.

KENDALL

OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVE THAT STUPID SONG FROM ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK STUCK IN MY HEAD. ~ALWAYS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU MAKE BELIEVE WITH YOU AND LIVE IN HARMONY HARMONY, OH LOVE~ SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CURSE YOU JAY, SEAMUS, AND CARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#wostibet #confessionals

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