#Harry Styles Fan fics

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Magnetic**

Okay I had so much fun writing this one! It's based off of THIS REQUEST where Harry cheats on his gf with Y/N and is basically pussy whipped.

Warnings: mostly remorseless infidelity, solo male masturbation, unprotected sex (p in v), oral (m and f receiving), fingering, daddy kink, slight degradation, pain, size, and cnc kink, non-con creampie, jealous partners, alcohol consumption. I think that's it...?

WC: 14.6k

You were minding your business, shamelessly standing stark naked in Harry’s laundry room, setting the wash for the sheets and pillowcases you two had soiled with your sweat, spit, and cum. You suddenly felt Harry’s presence behind you and moments later he was wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I told you that I’d take care of this later.” He mumbled before kissing your bare shoulder.

“It is later.” You smirked, “You said she’s coming home around 11, no?” You asked him and he nodded, “Well it’s already 10 and we still need to clean up from cooking dinner.” You reminded and he groaned.

“Right…”

“Told you we should’ve just ordered in. Could’ve kicked me out with the garbage.” You joked and he tutted in disapproval and squeezed around you a bit harder. You giggled a bit at his reaction, but it was true…you were the other woman and sometimes you coped with that with a little help from dark humor.

“I thought we agreed you’d stop with the self deprecating stuff.” He reminded you. “Only I can be a little mean t’you.” He smirked devilishly and you rolled your eyes, but nodded.

“I know, I know…sorry.” You giggled as he smooched your shoulder again.

“And you were right. We should’ve ordered in.” He added, “You’re basically always right though, angel.” He admitted and you smiled.

When you thought about how it was that Harry came into your life it felt so normal that the fact you were fucking almost felt strange. You were merely acquaintances and only because your uncle was none other than Rob Stringer. Well, you were related through marriage, but still. You and Harry both just happened to be in attendance at his birthday party one year and after loosening up with a few drinks you two were flirting up a storm in a secluded little nook. Harry was single then and you were finishing up your Master’s degree in Audio Engineering, you both loved music, so that gave you two plenty to talk about. At the end of the night you exchanged numbers and added each other on instagram, but you never really spoke again after that. 

It was a couple years later, at one of his last shows of his world tour that your paths crossed again. You all had a little “party” at the hotel afterwards and you overheard one of his friends say that he was talking to someone and that she’d be coming for his final show along with more of his friends and family. So you sort of kept your distance because you couldn’t trust yourself with not flirting with him. But all throughout the night you’d make eye contact across the room or just narrowly miss each other as you rotated around the little cliques of people. His intense energy made you feel quite wired, so even when the final people trickled out of the rooftop patio area that had been reserved for the little cocktail party, you found yourself sitting at the pool on the far end of the rooftop, legs dangling in the perfectly cool water. Harry was heading back to his room when he spotted you across the way through the chaises and tables surrounding the pool.

He’d greeted you with a cool “Hey, stranger!”, when he entered the pool area. That greeting was something you thought you’d hate until it was coming from him. He was clearly on a good one, as were you, and you guys just talked for an hour until you both realized it was past 3am. The ride down in the elevator was charged with tension and a comfortable silence, both of you were just enjoying the intense vibe that was encompassing you for however long this ride lasted. When the elevator stopped and opened up on his floor you were prepared to say goodnight but he just extended his hand out towards you. It was an unspoken invitation. You recall asking him “Aren’t you dating someone?” And he just smirked and said “not technically” and well that was enough for you to let him guide you to his suite and the rest was history.

You’d always thought sexual chemistry was a myth until you and Harry fucked. You had the things that scratched his itch and vice versa. It truly was supposed to be a one time thing but then you saw each other again after a bit more time and did it again. Harry was consumed by guilt after the first time, he felt ill and disgusted with himself. But when you two saw each other again you slept together again. And then again. And now it had happened once more.

You weren’t hooking up regularly, so it wasn’t a full fledged affair, it was more of a sporadic thing. The point was that now he had a girlfriend of almost a year now and you really needed to not do this again. You wanted to say you felt guilty for it all the time, but in all truth the guilt had diminished, especially when you were together. That’s how good it was. However, that didn’t mean what you were doing wasn’t wrong.

“So when I tell you that this can’t happen again you know that I mean it, right?” You asked as you closed the lid and then turned towards him. His eyes met your own with a solemn look as he nodded.

“I know…this was a slip up.” He said, there was a little guilt in his eyes, you could see it pulling him away from the present and into his head. 

It truly had been this time. He had gone to a football match with your uncle the day before and you just happened to be over at his for dinner with your aunt and mum when they came back. You’d gone your separate ways but he then texted you to see if you wanted to catch up and have dinner together the next day, well, today now. And you had agreed, but one thing led to another, like the time before and here you were. 

“Isn’t that what you said last time?” You asked with a smirk.

“Hey, how was I supposed to know you worked out at that studio?”

“Instagram.” You said with a grin and he chuckled.

“Okay, I just…I just wanted to see you that time. I didn’t intend for it to turn into sex.”

“Liar.” You whispered smugly before tiptoeing and kissing his lips gently and he chuckled.

“I mean, I fantasized about it, but I didn’t intend to follow through with it.” He defended himself and you just giggled before your lips melted together. It was so easy to get lost when you kissed each other. Feeling his big, warm hands feeling out your curves and squeezing at your butt, it made you melt. And well, he was getting hard all over again and you giggled into your kiss.

“One more before you go?” He asked you and you shook your head. 

“Why don’t you channel all this towards your girl instead when she gets home.” You suggested before pecking his lips quickly and pulling away from him. 

Harry felt confused when you said things like this to him. He wondered if you said it to make him feel guilty or were just being sincere about him focusing on her instead of you. So he followed after you until he was back in his bedroom and you were pulling your clothes on.

“Are you upset?” He asked you and you turned towards him as you fastened your bra on.

“No, H. I didn’t mean that in a bad way, sorry.” You assured as he grabbed your shirt from the floor and handed it to you. “Thanks.” You hummed.

“Welcome.” He mumbled.

“I just meant like…” you sighed, “M-maybe if you’re not…satisfied with how your sex life is with her, then-”

“Let’s not, alright?” He cut you off sternly, his eyes wild with frustration.

You just rolled lips together and nodded, “You’re right. Sorry.” You apologized immediately as you looked away with a little bit of embarrassment. You could sense that the mood completely shifted between you two so you hurriedly got dressed in silence. Harry had just thrown on his sweats.

“Ready?” He asked as soon as you’d buttoned your jeans.

“I can show myself out, H. Just finish cleaning up.” You assured him.

“What’re a few minutes worth at this point?”

“At least a shower.” You responded and he smiled a bit.

“See. Always right.” He acknowledged as he took your hand and squeezed it a bit in his.

“I’m not answering next time, Harry. That’s a promise.” You said seriously. You needed to put your foot down. It was bad enough that you didn’t feel bad about it, so you really needed to stop. “So don’t even call, okay?” You requested and he nodded once before he let you go.

Harry stood there until he heard the front door open and close and he smiled to himself because he was already itching to call you again. He didn’t let himself feel too guilty about this because he knew that he was going to stop, when? Well, he certainly believed the second time was the last time, but now it had happened a couple more times and he wouldn’t mind not stopping. There was just something about the way you two fit together that made him want to keep going back. Even after the first time he’d had you, when you were both drunk and giggling and mucking about, the second he sunk inside of you his brain chemistry changed. He’d never moaned so much while fucking someone. And then when you rode him…

“Fuck…” he mumbled as his cock started growing hard so fast. 

He slightly brought down his sweats and pulled his cock out as he sat on the bed. Harry’s eyes closed as he as he started to stroke his cock up and down at a steady pace, not wasting any time to tease or delay his orgasm in any way. His jaw tensed a bit as he clenched his teeth together and hissed in a breath as he rubbed at his frenulum the way you had done earlier with your tongue. 

He absolutely loved your company, the chemistry was just there. He’d never been with someone who made themselves right at home so easily. And not in an imposing way, you did it in a way that reminded him of when a friend you haven’t seen in ages pops in for a long visit and they just slowly start to worm their way further in. You zapped him with an excitement that was reminiscent of the time when he fell in love for the first time. Where you’ve got these blinders on and that person can do absolutely no wrong in your eyes. You only see all of the wonderful things about them you glorify them to an extent. You were a living fantasy. 

“Shit, need her so bad.” He mumbled as he stroked a bit faster. He visualized the way your breasts bounced in front of him as you rode his cock until he busted for you twice. And here he was again, about to come for you for the third time tonight. He loved the way you praised him when he was about to come for you and he recalled it now. He groaned as he basically heard your voice as if you were right there with him.

“That feels so good, doesn’t it, baby?”

“I’m going to make you come again, aren’t I?” 

“Yes, Harry…Fuck yeah, daddy! Come for me.”

Harry’s eyes squeezed shut as his memories of your soft and sultry voice and tight, dripping little cunt milked the come out of him. He groaned as he felt it start to expand from his core and tickle down his legs and finally reach the tip of his cock. He let out the most lewd moan as he felt is start to erupt from his tip. His hips bucked up into his fist as his warm, milky sperm spurted out against his abs quite intensely a few times before it diminished and soon stopped. He gave himself a gentle squeeze before letting go and sighing in satisfaction. He was obsessed with you, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. About when he’d see you next. But you were right, it couldn’t happen again. He was getting in too deep and the longer he let this go on the more painful it would be for everyone involved if it ever came to light. 

*************

You had a short cry in the car on your way home because you were so fucking into Harry but you couldn’t fuck with his life anymore. Never did you think you’d be someone’s side piece, it shocked you! But Harry just understood your mind and body in ways that no one but you knew and it was so amazing to feel so understood. To feel in tune with someone, whether it be in the middle of a sexual experience or just while making conversation. That’s why it had been so hard to stay away. But you meant it this time. You couldn’t continue being his escape of whatever it was that he was missing in his relationship. 

You hadn’t meant to offend him when suggesting he have a conversation about the sexual things in his relationship with his girlfriend. You just wanted him to be able to get what he needed from his relationship, that was the point wasn’t it? You were certain things were just fine in his relationship but when it comes to sex, “just fine” is a mere step up from “not good”. And when you and Harry got together everything flowed so perfectly that he was willing to be unfaithful just to have a taste of that. 

What you two did was fuck really well. There wasn’t really any tenderness in those moments, you two just relished in the ecstasy that came with the lust and pleasure when you two got together. You were into the same things, you could push the limits of what was acceptable with him. It was so rare to find such a good match, but you were determined to stay true to your word because at the end of the day, no matter how good the sex and company were, he had someone else.

After a couple of days you got the courage to block his number. It was a temporary measure in case either of you slipped up in the near future because if he did just the right amount of groveling you’d give in far more easily than you cared to admit.

….TWO MONTHS LATER….

You had been doing really well after distancing yourself from Harry. You weren’t sure how long you’d need before you could see him without your pussy getting all puffy and sticky at the mere sight of him and the sound of his voice. In order to achieve this you’d also stopped frequenting the places where you knew he liked to go, so you hadn’t even seen him this entire time. You were proud of yourself for being able to quit him cold turkey so when one of your friends invited you out to Amante’s, a private club for the rich and famous (precisely the kind of place Harry went to when he wanted to be out of the house but not being lurked by admirers), you quickly disregarded the reluctance that initially arose. The odds of you running into him were quite low and you just needed the night out, especially after the grueling work week you’d had.

You got a bit dressed up, something short of cocktail attire, and then just added some eyeliner to darken up your makeup before rushing out of your town home. You got into your Uber and made your way to the club. Amante’s wasn’t a club to dance, it was more of a social club. There was a main bar with a large sitting room, some billiard, and karaoke rooms, and then a lovely patio area where they had a stove oven to bake fresh pizza’s. That’s usually where your friends hung out, out back and away from the older crowd. You were heading back, tucking away your member’s card when you heard your name.

“Y/N!” You glanced up and smiled brightly when you saw your friend, Goldie.

“G! Look at you!” You giggled happily, completely blown away by her gorgeous outfit.

“Thank you, thank you!” She grinned, “You’re looking lovely as well.” She complimented and you tutted, waving off the compliment. “I was just on my way to freshen up a bit. I know you’ve just arrived, but do you want to join?” She asked and you agreed and were easily swept away. 

You too took the time to touch up your lipliner and lipstick, you were being cautious as Goldie re-glued one of her strip lashes that seemed to be needing more adhesive. After helping her fan it dry to a tacky consistency she placed it back on. You gave yourself a few more spritzes of perfume before you both headed out.

“So it is a big group?” You asked as you two weaved through the sitting room, locking eyes with a handsome man before exchanging a timid smile and continuing on.

“About eight of us.”

“Eight?” You asked in surprise. Your main group only consisted of six people.

“Yeah, Sam brought Tom and Harry with him.” She informed you. Suddenly, you felt the world come to a screeching halt. Just your fucking luck! 

“Oh!” You exclaimed.

“You know them both already, right?” Goldie asked you.

“Oh yeah, I’ve met them before.” You assured and she nodded. She was saying something more but you genuinely couldn’t hear anything as you started to get trapped in your own head.

As soon as you stepped out though your hearing tuned back in and picked out Harry’s boisterous laughter over everyone else’s and you immediately felt your heart skip a beat. Your skin started to tingle, goosebumps breaking out over your arms the closer you got, and those tingles started to seep down into your guts. The butterflies of excitement and nervous were fluttering with reckless abandon in anticipation. Then, finally one of the servers slipped past you and opened up your field of vision to Harry, or his rather chiseled side profile. His hair was longer than you’d last seen him and his facial hair had come in nicely; if you concentrated a bit more you could practically feel it scratching at the delicate skin between your thighs as he worked his way up to your pu-

“Look who’s here!” Goldie announced with glee as you two reached the end of the table and everyone glanced over to her and then to you. 

Harry’s gaze immediately found your own and his eyes raked down your body subtly. You ignored the intense heat of his eyes taking you in longingly and just waved at everyone and did a general greeting before taking your seat on the chair at the end. You were taking everyone in for a moment before picking up the drinks menu to gather yourself until you heard your name.

“Y/N, do you want to sit in the booth? It’s far more comfortable.” Harry spoke to you and you glanced up at him from the menu.

“I’m alright here. Thanks.” You offered a polite smile before looking away. 

You knew full well that you weren’t ordering anything off of this specialty menu, you’d just get your usual Whiskey and soda water with a squeeze of lemon. You just needed a distraction while you composed yourself enough to look at him without picturing him in his full naked glory. It was tough and when you spared him a glance when he wasn’t looking his lips still quirked up to the left, carving his dimple into his cheek. It made you smile, but after that you just steered clear. No one knew that you and Harry were more familiar with each other than the times you’d been to his shows or seen him at your uncle’s things on occasion, so giving him any more attention would make everyone think you were flirting with a taken man. And speaking of…where was she? It didn’t take long for someone to bring her up and ask how he’d been coping with her gone for work.

“I’m good. I’ve always been big on having my own things to keep me occupied.” He said, “Then on the other hand I’m all alone in that big, old house all the time.” he announced and you reached for your drink and took it.

“You don’t get lonely?” Someone asked him.

“Not usually, but lately just a bit.” He said and his gaze flickered over to you, “Wouldn’t mind having some company when things feel a bit slow.” He confessed.

And with that, you excused yourself to the bathroom and rushed over there. You felt so stupid for getting worked up over what he was saying, but you knew exactly what he meant. You could perfectly envision him letting you into his house and immediately dropping to his knees as he got your pants off and just licked you out right there against the doorway. As soon as you got in the stall you grabbed a few sheets of toilet paper and pulled your dress up a bit before slipping your hand down the front of your panties to soak up the arousal that had you all slicked up. Your clit was so sensitive that even when the wad of toilet paper skimmed over it as you retracted your hand, it made you bite down on your lip. For a moment you genuinely wished that Harry would burst through the door and lock it behind him so that he could take you then and there. It was a sinful thought and you were quite disappointed in yourself that all it took was being in his presence to have your resolve break down like this. Betrayed by your own body. Once you had washed your hands you beelined it for the bar and waited against the counter.

“What can I get for you, miss?”

“Just a shot of vodka.” You said, “Do you still carry the Kettle One grapefruit one?”

“We do.”

“That please. Chilled.”

“Right away.” The man smiled and you thanked him before he spun around to get what you wanted. 

“Can I pick that up for you?” You heard from beside you and turned to see the handsome man that had made eyes at you when you first arrived.

“Oh no, that’s alright.”

“I insist. I was hoping to buy you a drink but seeing as you’re here with friends, I’m afraid this would be my only opportunity. I’m Eric.” He said extending his hand and you smiled.

“I’m Y/N. Lovely to meet you.”

“The pleasure is entirely mine. So what do you say? Can I at least get this for you?” He inquired once more and you nodded.

“Yeah, alright.” You agreed and he smiled, “Do you want one too? Some guy is paying.” You joked and he chuckled.

“Sure.”

“Alright. I can spare a bit of time.” You flirted and he called on the bartender and asked him for another. 

Soon you had your shots before you and you were clinking the little shot glasses together before tossing them back. He scoffed afterwards and said it was awful and you did as well. You explained that the last time you had this specific vodka it may have been in a spritzer or shooter of sorts, not actually straight. So you guys laughed about that and chatted a little bit about yourselves. You exchanged social media profiles and while you mentioned to him that you weren’t interested in being involved with anyone at the moment, you assured him that if you changed your mind you would reach out. With that you headed back to the table and rolled your eyes as some of your friends whooped and yelped dramatically after someone else had seen you flirting up a storm inside.

“Man, I was never that bold when I was single!” your friend Paul smirked and you giggled.

“I wasn’t being bold, he was.”

“Is that all it takes now a days?” 

“Sometimes.” You giggled and went back to your drink. 

You felt a bit more relaxed now and well, Harry was pissed because he did not acknowledge you once for the rest of the night. Did it make you sad? Of course, but he had no right or reason to be upset at this and you figured that was his way of coping with that. After you had a second full drink your buzz started to come in. You were giggling at everything and getting all affectionate with Paul, who was on your left. He was gay, so you knew that he wouldn’t misinterpret it as you scooched closer and leaned against his shoulder. You had a slight moment of weakness and when you glanced at Harry he was already looking at you. You could feel the energy emanating from him. He looked kind of lost and sad. You had the urge to reach for him, but you couldn’t do that here. So instead you just offered him a small smile and his gaze softened a bit and then you looked away. 

The rest of the time seemed to fly by and before you knew it you were being dropped off in front of your house. 

“Thank you so much for the ride. You are the best!” You praised Goldie with gratitude.

“Not a problem, darling!”

“Do you need water or to have a wee or anything?” You asked.

“I should be alright!” She giggled, “Thank you, though. We’ll see each other for Massimo’s birthday in a few, yeah?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” You smiled and waved goodbye as she drove off. You then keyed your way inside and immediately shrugged your jacket off, the alcohol in your system had made you feel a bit warm. You were just about to get your shoes off when there were a few knocks on the door and you grinned.

“I knew she’d have to pee.” You said to yourself lowly and when you opened up the door you swore any drunken feeling evaporated from your system as his eyes met yours. “Harry, I don’t think that-”

You were cut off by his lips colliding with yours as he pushed you inside. You easily melted into it and sucked his plump bottom lip between your own lips. He groaned as his hands slide down to your backside, kneading it in his big warm hands. He started turning you around until your back collided with the door and he started to kiss down your neck. You were obsessed with the way his lips felt and with the way his scent enveloped you. You moaned as he you felt him start to suck at the base of your throat.

“N-no marks remember?” You panted as you scratched the back of his head gently.

“Mmm…don’t think anyone’ll be suspicious after you were flirting with that guy at the bar.” He mumbled before picking up where he left off. Your mouth parted as you moaned in slight pain at how hard he was sucking at you. 

“Tsss…it hurts!” You winced.

“Good.” He mumbled before kissing over the mark. You loved when he did things to claim you, because outside of this you weren’t his to claim. He pecked your lips quickly as he pressed his forehead against yours, “You think about that next time before ghosting me for two months.” He lowly and you shook your head.

“It was for your own good.” You reminded.

“I think I can decide what’s good for me and what’s not.” He mumbled lowly as one of his hands came up and angled your face up towards his. The deep, magenta glow from the little sunset lamp in your entryway was making this moment feel like a drug-induced hallucination. Breathing his scent and air made you feel intoxicated. You were putty in his hands. “I’ve missed you so much, angel.” He said lowly. That’s when you realized that his other hand had slithered up your thigh, he was just an inch away from touching you where you needed him most.

“H, no. We shouldn’t.” You reasoned, but did absolutely nothing to push him away or stop his hand from slithering further up your thigh. You wanted him to keep going, but you shouldn’t.

“Tell me to stop then.” He responded huskily and you inhaled sharply as his fingers rubbed over your clothed slit. Your hand darted down and wrapped around his wrist and his eyes immediately softened, “Is that a stop?” He asked with slight concern and you shook your head.

“Harder.” You requested. He groaned and added more pressure, his finger dipping into your crease and colliding with your clit. He felt as the tension just melted off of your body and the soft moan that slipped past your lips made him grin.

“Is that good, angel?” He asked and you nodded and whimpered as he went a bit faster. “You’ve been wet for a while, hmmm?”

“Yes.” You smiled, “Since I saw you.” You confessed and he giggled. 

“Yeah?” He asked, fully amused at learning this.

“Yeah.” You nodded, still smiling cheek to cheek.

“For real?” He asked lowly, more vulnerably. His eyes bore into yours and you nodded again, not breaking eye contact with him. “That’s fucking hot.” He groaned before kissing your sloppily. 

It was all tongues and teeth colliding, there was just so much urgency that it didn’t even matter if you were kissing at the same pace, you just wanted to be against him. One of your hands reached down to feel the sizable bulge in his pants. You were obsessed with how big his dick got. He stretched you out so good, you got wetter in anticipation. He groaned in satisfaction as you rubbed over him with more pressure, really letting the heel of your palm press against the head of his cock.

“Harry?”

“Yes, angel?”

“Please fuck me.” You panted against his lips and he nodded.

“Yeah, baby. Want me to fuck you? I’ll fuck you.” He muttered against your lips before pulling you off towards your bedroom.

“Wait, wait! My shoes! Let me get ‘em off!” You giggled and he groaned and knelt down. You bit your lip and smiled down at him as you placed your foot on his thigh. He kissed your knee as his fingers undid the straps of your high heel.

“Next one.” He hummed and you switched legs. “There you are, now lets get to it.” He smiled and you pulled him to your bedroom swiftly.

As soon as you got in you reached across your body to pull down your dress’ zipper. About halfway down, Harry’s hands slid the straps down your shoulders and then slid under your arms to grab your breasts. He squeezed them as his lips traveled up your neck.

“Fuck, I missed these.” He hummed and you bit your lip and whined as he gently pinched your nipples down between his thumbs and index fingers. He pressed a bit harder until you gasped and he eased up. “Again?” He asked and you nodded.

“Please, again.” You confirmed. 

This was one of the reasons Harry loved sleeping with you. Little things like this, where he was a bit more aggressive and pushed the limits with you. You leaned into it, you loved the bite of pain. You loved feeling pushed to the edge and giving him complete free reign to do with you as he pleased, you’d set some boundaries before but there were very few. And well, he enjoyed taking you there. It’s what he was missing, he figured it out after not having you for two months. 

Things weren’t bad in his relationship but they were rather tame. He loved having slow, meaningful sex but he also loved having horny, kinky, and primal sex where he could fulfill his urges however he pleased. That wasn’t really the kind of person his partner was, to be fair she had tried but she just couldn’t get into it. And well, knowing you were of that persuasion, it just became easiest to seek you out for it. But he didn’t expect to get whipped after a couple times. It was bad, he had been struggling without you. And thank whatever higher power there was that your paths coincided tonight because he really just needed to see you. Even if nothing had come of it, at least he got to be around you and feel excited again. That very spark of excitement being relit was the thing that persuaded him to show up at your door and he was so glad he had.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He hummed as he glanced down at your body. “So fucking perfect. And so good for me.” He goaded you on. You loved how he spoke to you when you fucked, “Always so fucking good. Aren’t you, angel?”

“Yes, daddy.” You whined and he groaned. Just hearing you call him that again had clouded his judgement completely and the rational part of himself evaporated into thin air.

In moments Harry was urging you to get into bed while he quickly undressed himself. You were nestling yourself into the pillows when he climbed on. You parted your legs to allow him to rest himself over your body and as he settled over you he kissed you deeply. You were aching to feel his cock stretching you open and filling you up with each inch of it that sunk inside of you. You were longing to feel the satisfaction that came with sleeping with him and only him. It was dangerous, like a drug.

Harry kissed your lips once more before pressing himself up, “Gonna get a taste of you first.” He said to you and you bit your lip in excitement. 

You stayed perfectly still as Harry kissed down your chest and stomach, then skipped down to your thighs and nipped and kissed and sucked his way up until  he was pressing kisses over your labia. He loved feeling the wetness seeping out from between your lips, he loved how wet and horny you got for him. So without any further delays he nuzzled in and lapped at your achey little hole, dipping his tongue in until you were grinding into his face and gasping as his nose kept nudging against your clit. He was trying not to, but he was smiling so big, it was getting hard to keep doing what he was doing. But he was absolutely blissed out over getting to savor you once again.

“Oh fuck…” you mewled, “My clit! Suck my clit!” You whined and he groaned as he glided his mouth further up to get to your clit. His mustache pricked at your hypersensitive skin and it made you weak in the knees. You loved the contrast of his smooth lips and tongue in comparison to the roughness of his facial hair scratching over your skin. Once he felt the reached the raised little bump, Harry parted his lips to suck and flick his tongue at the sensitive little bundle until you started to writhe your hips.

Your moans became more consistent and then he pressed his middle finger into you. You gasped as he hooked it up, right into your g-spot. Your abs immediately started to tense as he played your body with an absolutely lethal level of lust-driven determination. He wanted to make you come. The final nail in the coffin was when he plunged a second finger in. The soft smacks of his fingers thrusting in and out of you were getting louder the closer you got to your orgasm. His moans of enjoyment and your praises of gratitude to him joined the chorus of things pushing you right to the edge. And just like that you were coming undone around his fingers. 

“Fuck, that’s it, angel.” He chuckled against you, kissing at your clit lightly until he had worked you through it all the way. 

Harry kissed up your body with lust and what felt like relief. And when he was back up at your face he went in for a sultry kiss, tongue first. You moaned as you tasted yourself on his tongue and felt his hands rub up and down your inner thighs while his heavy erection bobbed up and down in the small space between your bodies. You just wanted him so badly, you raised your hips up to get his tip against your folds and hopefully your clit. He adjusted a bit until his tip kissed your clit as you’d been hoping. You whimpered and he bit his lip at the soft whimpers escaping from your throat as his cock kept bumping into your clit at the perfect pace. He was trying to not make too much of it because if he thought about it too much he’d come like this with ease. And while it was very tempting to do so if only to see your pussy glazed over with his cum, he needed to feel you. He wanted to be buried deep in the person he’d been missing and thinking about all this time when he finally came.

“Please, H. Put it in!” You begged and he groaned as he angled himself down and to your entrance. He gently nudged against it, he’d have to assist a bit to push it inside.

“You’re still on the pill?” He asked as he glanced up at you and your expression fell a bit as your eyes met.

“No, I stopped it last month.” And then you cocked your head towards the adjoining bathroom, “I have condoms somewhere in there though.” You offered because he had always insisted on protection. But this time he bit his lip pensively.

“Ca-can I…pull out?” He asked and your eyes widened and dazzled a bit upon hearing his request. You’d never gone bare before, it was one of the things you’d agreed on every time you’d meet up. Of course, for your own sexual health, but largely because he was still sleeping with a long term partner who wasn’t aware that he had another sexual partner. Truly, the least you two could do was use condoms. 

“Ummm, a-are you sure?” You asked him. 

“Yeah angel, I’m absolutely sure.” You looked a bit skeptical, “M’sure.” He insisted with a nod, “I need t’feel you.” He admitted lowly as his eyes glanced up to yours. He looked uncertain of having shared that with you but you could also see the urgency in them. Your lips twitched up in a small smile.

“Okay.” You agreed and he smiled down at you as he started to guide himself down to your entrance. 

When his tip finally met with your entrance and he started to press in you sighed in relief. You had slept with someone else shortly after the last time with Harry, so it had been a while for you and you were aching to feel the stretch as your body adjusted and accommodated to his size. 

“Ready?” He asked and you nodded eagerly.

“I’m so ready.” You responded, nearly breathless and with that he surged forward with enough force to sink inside, “Oh fuuuuck…” You moaned, eyes squeezing shut the second your muscles relaxed enough to allow him to sink in about halfway. 

Harry moaned in relief as well, but his eyes were fixed on the place where your bodies were connected. He loved to see you stretched out around him, he marveled at the way he fit inside of you. Without a warning he reared back and you whined. He smirked smugly and glanced up at you before thrusting back into you. You moaned as your gazes locked once again.

“Can you take it all with the next one?” He asked and you nodded once, “You sure?”

“Yeah, m’sure. Please, H.” You whined softly. With that he pulled back again and thrust inside with a bit more strength and then he actually shifted his hips down causing your legs to fall open even more as you opened right up for him. “Oh shit!” You gasped in surprise when his cock went as deep as it could. It felt like he was in your stomach.

“Relax f’me, angel.” He encouraged you and when you did and he ground into you, his tip just barely grazed your cervix. The small, but dull ache told you that’s where he was. “Can I move?”

“Please move.” You giggled breathlessly and he smiled before pulling out and gliding back in with ease. You were even more wet now with his thrusts. Your body was practically singing for him and the way it felt to be connecting with him this way after all of this time.

Your hands ran up and down the hot and smooth skin of his back and arms. You didn’t know how much you missed the feeling of the bulging muscles in his back and arms working hard to make you feel good. He was so strong, it made you even hornier as you brought a hand over his chest to feel his bulging pectorals. He smiled and knelt up, spreading your legs even more as he watched with lustful eyes as his cock glided in and out of you with ease.

“Fuck, you take it so well.” He grunted through his thrusts before grabbing your left breast in his hand. He groped and squeezed at it and your nipple, causing your back to arch up with his tugs as you gasped and moaned. “Too much?” He asked when you winced and you shook your head.

“It’s good! It’s so fucking good!” You mewled.

Harry was obsessed with how perfect you looked beneath him. Gorgeous face, tits bouncing up and down with the force of his thrusts. Your warm and inviting little hole taking his cock as well as he remembered. For a while there at Amante’s he was worried that you’d leave with that handsome guy who was entertaining you at the bar and boy, did his blood boil. He wasn’t going to act on his need for you until he saw that. At the very least, the man had gotten your socials and he’d be a fool to not shoot his shot with you. But that’s why he ended up at your doorstep, he wanted to be fresh on your mind if you decided to try your luck with someone else. He knew it was messy and even toxic of him to do this, but he wanted you to compare. He wanted you to obsess and lose sleep over him the way he did over you.

“Damn, look at you.” He sighed with a slight smirk, “You were being so good, weren’t you? Keeping your promise and staying away, but look at you now.” He pointed out, “All it took was seeing me once for you to spread your legs for me.” He said smugly and you moaned, “You’re right back where you started, angel. My needy, cock-hungry, little slut.” He teased and degraded you just how you loved, it was pushing you closer and closer to the brink.

Your walls tightened up around him, squeezing him tight. You enjoyed this. This was the side of him that he saved for you. The side of him that his girlfriend didn’t like and couldn’t handle. You loved how he mocked you and made you feel so weak and fickle. You’d spent most of your life being strong, being the rock, it was good to be able to not be that person. To give in to your recklessness and your humanity in a safe space with a person who not only cared for you, but fucked you so good you could detach from reality and just enjoy being taken care of.

“Fuck, I’m so close!” You gasped when he ground deep into you while rubbing over your clit. 

The pleasure started to expand from deep in your core and to the rest of your body. Your walls were fluttering around his cock erratically, without your influence. His deep moans in response had your skin covered in goosebumps. And as the feeling made it down your legs, you writhed beneath him, whining and whimpering as you got closer and closer. Your brain was starting to shut off and your eyes to glaze over as you succumbed to the pleasure possessing your body. When your ears started to ring you knew you were about to come. You were smiling in satisfaction as the moans flowed from your mouth, limbs feeling like jell-o.

“Fuck daddy, I’m gonna come!” You gasped, “Please, let me come!” You asked for permission. You always had to ask the first time.

“Go on, angel. Give it t’me, come for me.” He granted you the permission and immediately your body went tense. 

Your eyes rolled back and your jaw went slack as all of those wonderful, tingling feelings rippled from your core and out to the rest of your body. It felt like your veins were pumping fire through you. You were desperately grinding up to meet his own thrusts, not able to get enough of him even now as you creamed all over his cock. Harry leaned down to hover over you again, breathing in your exhales, letting his own pleasure reach its own pinnacle. He had every intention of pulling out, but seeing you there beneath him so fucking perfect and fucked out because of him, plus the underlying jealously he was still feeling that led him to your bed, he just couldn’t stop. His thrusts grew erratic and his hands found yours, he pressed them into the mattress as he interlocked your fingers. The look in his eyes tipped you off that his resolve was breaking.

“H-Harry, pull out!” You stammered out the reminder as his brows furrowed and he shook his head. His thrusts slowed but he fucked into your harder until he sunk into you as deep as he could. “Oh fuck!” You whined. 

“Fuuuuck…” he moaned deeply as his eyes squeezed shut and then pressed his forehead into yours as he ignored your reminder and started to come inside of you. He needed to and in that moment had no interest in sticking to his own rule.

You could feel the dramatic pulses and twitches of his cock as your snug, warm walls milked the cum out of him. Just feeling it filling you up like this was working you up all over again. Harry groaned and moaned through his orgasm, enjoying it for as long as he could. He had no idea if you’d be angry with him when he took your face in again, but he was glad he did it. He needed to do it. He could feel you trying to free up your hands, so he let them go. He was mentally preparing to feel you pushing him off of you in a completely appropriate fit of rage. But instead you just ran your fingers up the back of his neck and gently scratched at the back of his head. You smiled a bit as you felt his body relax and melt against yours before you giggled.

“You’re reckless and stupid for that.” You chastised him before kissing the side of his face and he just smiled.

“I’ll make sure to get a pill to you in the morning.” He mumbled, “Sorry, I just…something came over me.” He muttered.

“It’s alright.” You assured him, “I like it.” You admitted timidly and he smiled.

“Yeah? Sure?”

“Yes.” You reiterated and he smiled.

You just lay in silence for a little bit, recouping from the intense sex you’d just had. You were enjoying his warmth and the weight of him over you as much as possible before he made his swift exit. But his breaths were getting more and more shallow and he was melting against you further and further.

Suddenly he pushed up a bit until his eyes were meeting yours, “I’m sorry for doing that without asking. I should’ve asked.” He said softly, suddenly feeling really bad and guilty for coming inside of you like that. He had never pushed the limit like that before and was worried that you were just downplaying it.

“Yes, you should’ve but I’m not upset that you didn’t. I ummm…I like that quite a bit.” You admitted bashfully, “Though, I’m…surprised you went through with it, but definitely not upset at you for it.” 

“Promise?”

“I promise.” You confirmed.

“Can I stay?” He asked after a moment of silence and you bit your lip, feeling so hesitant to allow it.

“Why?” You asked.

“I’m fucking tired.” He said and you smiled, “But mostly because…I don’t want to be in the house alone for another night.” He admitted. You gave it a thought for a moment before agreeing.

“Just this once.” You decided and he thanked you with a gentle kiss to your lips before warning you that he was going to pull out. 

You two got cleaned up and then back into bed. You had gotten in first and had turned on your side, facing away from him to give him both, space and privacy. Moments later you felt the bed dip and the last thing you expected was for Harry to continue scooting in until his front was flush with your back. But when he tried to drape his arm over your midsection you sat up.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he sat up as well and you switched on the beside lamp and turned to him.

“What are you doing?” You asked him.

“Nothing, just getting comfortable to sleep.”

“Why do you think I moved all the way over here? To give you space.” You said with a shake of your head.

“Oh, you’re not a cuddler?” He asked.

“Oh no, I can be but we don’t do this kind of thing.” You explained.

“Well what if I want to?” He asked.

“Then maybe you should go sleep in your own house.” You said and he sighed, “It’s not that I don’t want to but…I like you Harry and I don’t want to start to not like you.” You explained and he pouted.

“How do you mean?” 

“If we…blur more lines than we already have then things can only get more complicated between us and end badly. I care about you too much to let that happen. It’s why I blocked you and why I stayed away from you this whole time.” You explained.

“You’re right.” He nodded, “I shouldn’t have shown up like this tonight. It was hard, being away from you but I was doing it.”

“Yeah.” You agreed, “So, if you want to stay here tonight, then we stay on our own sides of the bed. And this is the only time it can happen.” 

“Okay.” He agreed with ease and you smiled.

“Good.” You concluded and turned to switch off the light while Harry shuffled back over to make more space. Once again, the two of you were shrouded in the dark with more space between the two of you. 

“Is this also the last time we sleep together?” He asked into the darkness.

“I think so.” You said with a bit of uncertainty. 

And well, Harry was glad you were feeling hesitant about it, you two were quite great together. He could just end his relationship, but he didn’t feel like “the sex could be better” was really a good enough reason. Apart from things being a little bit slow in that department he would say that his relationship was good. He was happy. There was good give and take from both of them. He could see this panning out for the long haul if he really prioritized the relationship. He didn’t feel quite ready to be making those moves though. Maybe that’s why he was still clinging to you. You sparked up a part of him that made his life feel unpredictable and exciting. You were more open and freewheeling. You were just fun, whereas his girlfriend was exactly as she seemed, a calm and sweet spirit. It certainly paired well with the side of him that liked to slow down, the side of him that he wanted to be in tune with after a large world tour. That’s why he’d settled in so easily. 

But you…you were something else. Even though he tended to be a little more on the quiet side, when you were around you made him feel just as included as the person who was the extrovert of the group. You connected with the cheeky and mischievous side of him. You made him laugh and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You were like that first taste of coffee in the morning. The very same one that gave you the feeling that were awake now and made you feel ready to face whatever came at you that day. You were incredibly unforgettable. Since the first time he’d met you, you’d constantly come up in his thoughts. The fact that he was friends with your uncle might’ve aided with that, but only by tiniest bit. The feeling that swirled in his gut and chest the very first time he locked eyes with you last summer, that’s what kept him coming back. Because even to this day, whenever he had the privilege of being in your presence, he’d feel the exact same thing. It’s like when you looked at him everything stopped. There was goodness, authenticity, and mischief in your gaze. He loved to be on the receiving end of your undivided attention. Even now, as he just laid here silently, ruminating and obsessing over all of this, he could feel that you were looking in his direction now and after a few second he felt you turn away.

You turned your head forward again and just stared up at the ceiling and sighed. “Are you upset?” You asked him softly.

“Yes and no.” he responded. You bit your lip as your fingers twitched a bit as you fought from reaching out towards his hand. But after a few seconds you just slid your hand over. When Harry felt your fingers grazing his hand he turned it palm up and let you slide your fingers into the gaps between his. 

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah, angel.” He whispered back. You two fell silent for a bit before you spoke up again.

“You know, maybe it’s a good thing I’m only your side piece. If I had you to myself I’m afraid we’d never do anything productive again.” You pondered aloud and he snorted out a laugh, causing you to giggle.

“Fucking like bunnies is actually very productive.” He added and you sputtered out a laugh.

“We wouldn’t just fuck! We’d share other hobbies.” You reminded.

“Fellatio and cunnilingus.” He mumbled before you both started sniggering again.

“I was going to say anal play but that too I guess.” You muttered and he chuckled and squeezed your hand a bit. 

“Cheeky girl.” He mumbled through his laugh.

You were fighting with all your might not to just roll over and onto him and kiss him. You liked him so fucking much, but this was wrong. You weren’t that kind of girl and he wasn’t that kind of guy. It was crazy how with the right person at your side you could and would do just about anything. You laid there thinking about it all for a few seconds and very quickly concluded that maybe one more time couldn’t hurt.

In just a few moments you were straddling Harry’s lap and leaning down to kiss him. His   arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you down into him. You sighed in relief as your lips collided. Your hand was on his jaw, holding him close as you smooched his lips wetly a couple of times before he drew out his tongue and laved over your bottom lip. Your mouths soon started smacking together softly as you French kissed passionately. You could feel his boner growing beneath you and you couldn’t help yourself as you ground down onto him. His hands came down to your ass and squeezed at it, pulling you down onto him a bit harder. You moaned as his rock hard cock rubbed into your clit and you sped up your pace.

“Fuck me.” Harry mumbled his request as he gently spanked your bottom.

“Yeah?” You panted as you slowed down.

“Yeah, get my dick out.” He instructed. You slid down his thigh and tugged his briefs down carefully, allowing his cock to spring right up. He sighed in relief and you suddenly had a need to feel his weight on your tongue. You slid the rest of the way down, parting his legs as you got lower and lower until your mouth was over his cock. You guided him into your mouth, immediately sucking at his tip fervently as he moaned and rubbed over your cheek.

“Take more, angel. Take more.” He urged you. You did so without hesitation, relaxing your jaw and throat as you sunk further down. He was quite the mouthful, so there was no way of doing this neatly. It was sloppy and needy and you were enjoying it as much as he was “Fuck, that’s good, baby.” He groaned, brows creased in pleasure as you started to fondle his balls as well. His abs were starting to tense and his breathing to grow shallow. “Angel, get on me. Please, m’so fucking close.” He begged and you slowly pulled off of him.

You glanced up at him and smiled as you moved back up and knelt over him. You moved your panties to the side and he quickly reached for his cock and held it up for you. You shifted your hips a bit when you felt him up against your labia and in moments you were sinking down onto him slowly. You both moaned in relief before you went a bit further and stopped. You were getting used to his girth before sliding down a little bit more, until finally you were seated on him fully.

“Fuck, it’s so big…” you winced as you bounced over his cock. 

“I know, baby, but you take it so well. Fuck, you feel so good. So fucking good.” He groaned.

One of his big hands was holding your hips, guiding you up and down, helping you through the motions. His other hand was rubbing your clit in perfectly timed little circles. With his cock prodding right into your sweet spot and his fingers rubbing over your clit, you were quickly reaching your climax. Your skin was covered in goosebumps as you took everything in. The sensations of fucking him, of his hands on your body. The sounds of your ass smacking into his thighs with every bounce over him and your soft grunts and his moans all got you closer and closer to your orgasm. The coil of pleasure that seemed to be winding up inside of you was about to spring free. You were starting to tingle all over, your moans were increasing in pitch the closer and closer you got. 

“Oh fuck…oh fuck, I’m coming!” You gasped and he groaned as he felt your walls pulsing erratically around his cock. You started to lose your rhythm as you came all over him.

“Fuck! Fuck, you’re gonna make me come!” He warned as he started to thrust up into you hard to get himself to his orgasm and you all the way through yours. He was hammering into your g-spot and you were once again being pushed to the edge. You moaned his name in gratitude and praise as he fucked you through another orgasm. Harry held your hip with one hand while the other grabbed around your neck gently and tugged you down until you were moaning into his mouth. “Good girl.” He panted and kissed you quickly, “M’gonna come in you.” He panted and you groaned as he held you down hard, “Shit, angel? Know you want me to fuck another load into your perfect, little pussy.” He panted and you nodded, “Ask for it, then.” He said and you whined but parted your lips to speak anyway.

“Please come inside me, daddy! Please!” You implored, “I need t’feel you filling me up, H. Please!” 

How could he resist that? He grunted deeply through a handful of thrusts before gabbing your hips hard and holding you down onto his lap as he thrusted up as deep as he could and ground up into your pelvis. You were trembling over him, legs feeling like jell-o as he shot his load deep into you. You could feel the warmth of it filling you up and it was making your brain start to fog. You leaned down and kissed him gently again. His grip on your hips started to loosen up and soon his hands were gently sliding up to your waist and wrapping around you, pulling you down over him as you continued kissing hungrily as you came down from your orgasms. You were both struggling to breathe but neither of you wanted to pull away. Pulling away only meant that this would end and neither of you was quite ready for it to be over. You stayed like that, kissing and cock warming until he completely softened up and started to slip from you.

“Harry, Harry!” You giggled against his lips, “I need to clean up before I get your cum all over my sheets.” You warned and he groaned and kissed you once more.

“Alright, go on.” He said lowly, voice deep and gravely due to how late it was. You tightened up as you knelt up and scurried to the bathroom. You sat on the toilet and let his cum leak out of you before letting yourself pee. You were just sliding your panties back on when Harry peaked in. “May I?”

“Yeah.” You nodded and moved to wash your hands. 

“M’gonna steal a few wipes.” He said and you nodded.

“Yeah, whatever you need.” You assured and hurried out to just check you hadn’t stained the bed. Thankfully you hadn’t and just as you were about to turn out the lights Harry emerged from the bathroom. He hurried back and settled in and then you turned off the lights. You both got comfortable again, only this time you were resting shoulder to shoulder, not minding the proximity. You fell quiet for a bit until Harry cleared his throat.

“Are you going to go out with that guy from Amante?” He asked and you sighed.

“I think so…it’d be a good distraction.” You mumbled tiredly.

“Yeah, maybe.” He responded. “If it pans out, maybe we can all go on a double date.” He joked and you snorted and reached over to smack his tummy gently as he chuckled.

“That’d be so fucked up.” You chuckled.

“I know it might be weird, but can we still be friends?” He asked,

“We’re always friends.”

“Then don’t block me this time.” He said and you smiled.

“Then don’t call me when you’re bored and horny.” You quipped back and he chuckled.

“Deal.” He hummed and you nudged your shoulder into his playfully and he nudged you back. You guys talked about random things until you dozed off side by side. 

When you woke up the next morning, already later in the morning, you were alone but Harry had left a morning after pill on your bedside table with a glass of water, just as he’d promised.

….One Month Later….

It’d been a while since you’d crossed paths with Harry. He’d been out of the country doing his things, visiting his girlfriend, and friends in other places…really just carrying on as normal. But him being out of the country provided you the opportunity to start to go out with others as you intended. Not that you couldn’t do those things with him in the country, but knowing that he was off and with his girlfriend gallivanting around the globe made the fact clear that whatever you two had was definitely over.

You’d gone out with Eric, the guy you met at the bar at Amante’s, twice. And while he was fun to talk to, it just wasn’t that strong of a romantic connection. He was nice and smart and very respectful, but he was looking for something that would turn serious quickly. You learned he had two kids and was divorced due to irreconcilable differences and he hoped that the person he dated could also bond with his children. You weren’t ready to have anything to do with children, especially in the capacity of a caregiver, and because of that things didn’t pan out.

You were doing well enough for anyone in your position though. You sort of threw yourself into your work for a bit, which had paid off for you since you’d been very busy. You were relieved that things seemed to be taking off for Harry, it made you feel like maybe he was working everything out with his girlfriend. Or perhaps he was just accepting the fact that if he wanted a future with her that he’d have to compromise on some things. And that’s where you differed from him. 

You knew what you brought to the table and you also knew what you wanted. You didn’t think you were unreasonable in what you wanted from a partner, but your slim pickings made you think otherwise at times. You weren’t afraid of being alone, you had been alone for most of your life, save for a couple unsuccessful romantic relationships. Your companionship needs were mostly met through the close relationships you had with your friends. And when you had other physical needs that you couldn’t meet yourself, well you hooked up. It worked for you, you were still happy and quite frankly weren’t in a rush, you just wanted to enjoy your life and your youth. And if a like-minded partner came along, then great! But that didn’t mean that other people believed that you were happy with your current life path. So, when you had family things to attend you always sought out a date.

“If anyone asks you how long we’ve been together say we met a couple months ago.” You instructed as you came to a stop behind the small queue of cars outside of your uncle Rob’s home.

“Got it.” Joe, your date for the night, chuckled.

“Also, there might be a lot of famous people here so just try and be as collected as possible. Most of them are super fucking nice, but they just get weird if you start talking about their work.” You added and he nodded.

“Got it.” He confirmed. Soon enough you were getting out of the car and leaving it with the valet and you guided Joe to the side gate where everyone was entering. 

It was your aunt’s birthday and she was having a big party. There wasn’t much decor apart from flowers and balloons but there were tables placed throughout the back lawn where everyone was eating from the couple of food trucks that were hired to cater. There was also a live band and the in-ground pool had been covered and turned into a dance floor. You immediately recognized a couple of people as you made it inside and greeted them with warmth and affection before introducing Joe. Of course he was bombarded with questions and you had told him before to just make things up and you’d play along. Based on what he was saying now, you two had met when you both rushed into a cab on a rainy night in the spring. He was animatedly telling the story and his audience of two were extremely captivated by his story, looking at him with adoration at his romantic tale. 

You were giggling quietly, surveying the tables and queue formed at the bar to scope out your parents when suddenly your eyes locked on Harry’s. He smiled slightly at you and you returned his friendly gesture. It wasn’t hard to miss the girlfriend he had his arm draped over. You watched in amusement as clearly, the person they were talking to had directed a question at him, but he was too busy staring at you. You saw her slightly turn back to him and grab his attention. He was just a little flustered and shook it off with a little laugh as he turned back to the conversation. You smirked and right before you turned your attention back to Joe, she turned in your direction and almost immediately locked gazes with you. You offered a smile and while she returned a rather stiff smile, you didn’t miss the way she quickly eyed you up and down before turning her attention back to the other guest.

*************

Obviously, a lot of people wanted a moment of his time at this party, so it had been nearly half an hour before he had been able to go up and grab some food at the Indian food truck. He was just waiting off to the side, discretely scanning the crowd, hoping to spot you again, when his girlfriend grabbed his attention.

“H?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Who was that girl from before?”

“What girl?” He asked with a puzzled look on his face.

Of course, he was playing dumb, trying to make light of it to pull away any suspicion or probing. He hadn’t spoken to you in months! Whatever sporadic flings you had in the past had stayed there. However, seeing you again had him feeling on his toes. He had hoped you’d be here tonight, if only just to get a look at you. Seeing you on social media was fine, but nothing beat having you there in the flesh. Getting to see what you wore, how you’d done your hair and make up, getting to hear your voice, and then letting all those things influence his wild and incredibly vivid imagination was something he had been looking forward to. 

“The one that distracted you when we were talking to Ralph.” She reminded.

“Oh, her?” He chuckled, “That’s Rob’s niece, we’re friends. I’m sure you’ve met her before.” 

“I don’t think so…I’ve seen her around though.”

“You didn’t meet her at the Reggio show, last year?”

“Nope, was never introduced.”

“Oh well, if we spot her again we can say hello.” He smiled and she nodded before biting on her lip for a moment as she glanced around, trying to find you in the crowd again. 

Finally, she spotted you and just stared for a little bit. She saw how you seemed to know everyone and how you just seemed to light up the conversations of the people you were engaging with. Even the man on your arm was captivated. She was a little more on the shy side, especially since she didn’t know a lot of people here. And she couldn’t help but feel a little put off the more she observed you from afar. It seemed that you were completely over the top, possibly an ass-kisser. Just another one of those opportunistic nepo industry plants, greasing the wheels at any opportunity you’d get and this was the perfect place to do that. She hoped that your paths wouldn’t cross tonight, she wasn’t in the mood to feign interest in someone who could possibly be using Harry to get her foot in the door.

************

The night had been unexpectedly fun for you, Joe was a hoot. And although you’d been planning on just dropping him off at home at the end of the night, the way he was handling all of these people had you seriously considering spending the night with him. You’d run into a lot of people you hadn’t seen in a long while, caught up with your parents and other family members, and introduced them to Joe. You’d danced, shared some food with him, and on top of that, you had been actively avoiding a run in with Harry and his girlfriend like it was your life’s mission. You hadn’t run into him yet, so you drank a little more, let loose, and right as you settled into that lovely, carefree, and vulnerable place in the bosom of your buzz you spotted him coming through the crowd. Once again your eyes locked and his smile brightened.

“Y/N!” He called out to you and you smiled and raised your hand from around Joe’s shoulder to wave at him. You saw him pulling his girlfriend along behind him as he approached. 

“Harry! Hi!” You greeted with excitement and started to stand. Now that you had a good dosage of alcohol in your system you were less nervous about seeing him. But as the pair got closer you noticed a slight jerk of his arm and realized that he was trying release his hand from hers but she wasn’t letting him go. But after another tug he was free and hurrying ahead and then his body collided with yours in a tight hug.

“It’s good to see you.” He hummed as he swayed your bodies a little bit for a few seconds. Your hand rubbed at his back, right between his shoulder blades a couple of times before you started to pull back. He wasn’t letting go though.

“H, let go.” You whispered discretely and he immediately loosened his grip before he twirled around to grab his girlfriend’s hand again and you turned to see Joe already standing.

“Love, this is my friend, Y/N.” Harry introduced you to her as soon as you turned around again.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you.” You greeted her with a smile and extended hand. She returned the pleasantry and you proceeded to introduce Joe, “This Joe, my date.” You shared with them and Harry was quick to reach his hand out and greet him. When Joe then turned his attention to Harry’s girlfriend, you saw Harry size him up a bit and you smiled.

“-do you guys want to sit?” Is what you heard Joe ask and Harry immediately accepted and you saw his girlfriend’s face fall a bit before she put on a smile and sat as Harry pulled a chair out for her.

It was all small talk at first, but his girlfriend soon saw that you weren’t being fake. Even as you talked about the most mundane things, you were positive and funny and engaging. It genuinely got under her skin that she was wrong about you, but you were just fun and good at being outgoing. It kind of made her blood boil because you weren’t even dressed all flashy to get attention, it just came to you from everyone, including Harry. She was more than relieved though when Harry asked how it was that you and Joe met. Joe turned to you and you just smiled and nodded, allowing him to take over and share that. She just didn’t want to hear your voice anymore, it was pissing her off. 

So when Joe went off on his story-telling tangent about how you’d met at a cat adoption fair and were fighting for the same one, she just focused on that. Meanwhile, Harry stole a quick glance at you because he knew it was absolute bullshit. You really disliked cats, something to do with there only being room for one sassy ass-hole in your household.

“-and in the end I got the cat and the girl so…win, win.” He smirked at you as he finished his story and you giggled.

“Lucky you.” You hummed with adoration in your gaze. 

Despite all of that bullshit, the way you were looking into Joe’s eyes was as real as it got. Harry couldn’t help but feel his insides knotting up with jealously as he felt the tension between the two of you and saw that there was sufficient attraction there. His girlfriend didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched for a few seconds before he reached for his drink.

“So what did you say you did for work?” His girlfriend asked you.

“Oh, I dabble in several things in the music industry, just kind of float about.” You gave her the short answer. It was the truth, you did a lot of things! You were a studio musician, you engineered, you composed, you assisted production and when you went off on that in specifics you found that you had to explain a lot and you were a little too buzzed for that right now so you kept it very surface level.

“Mmm…I’m sure your uncle can help you get on your feet and connect with the right people to develop your skills if you’re still, you know trying to figure out what you're good at or find something more…established.” She said with a polite smile, but her tone and the look in her eyes made you read between the lines. You were about to respond and just agree with the evidently irritated woman before you when Harry turned to her.

“Actually, Y/N is a very accomplished musician by her own right.” Harry cut in and when she turned to him you just shook your head, asking him not to engage or jump in to try and defend you. You were used to these kinds of comments by now, but he ignored your cue. “She plays like five different instruments and often plays in and edits for film scores. Weren’t you the second chair cellist in the philharmonic orchestra right out of college?” He asked and you just smiled politely.

“That was a long time ago.” You added, trying to make him get the hint to stop. “She’s right though, I’ve been more interested in the composition and production side of things lately, so my uncle has introduced me to a few colleagues to help me learn the more practical side of that. Having a degree in it can only get you so far.” 

“Yeah, but he doesn’t like give you jobs just because you're his niece.” Harry said, cutting straight to the point of what his girlfriend had been suggesting.

“Well, no, I certainly need to earn those by my own merits.” You chuckled, “But I mean, like anything in the entertainment industry, it’s nearly impossible to get into without some sort of internal connections.” You confirmed what she'd alluded to with a smile.

“Or without having the potential to be an absolute legend.” Joe added as he gestured towards Harry, who chuckled and glanced down at his hands on the table with a modest shake of his head.

“Exactly. Whatever you have is so special. It’s brilliant that you’re modest about it, because truly some people aren’t.” You added, “But I mean, we all know you’re one in a million, H.” You chuckled and he glanced up at you.

“Well, thank you for thinking that.” He said bashfully and you smiled.

“Of course.” You smiled. 

After that, things got a little awkward with his girlfriend. So you tried to talk about her and what she had going on but she seemed to be quite shut down and the topic shifted to Joe and what he did. He was a sociology professor at the University of West London, so he had a lot to say if you guys kept talking about him. However, it wasn’t hard to miss that she was clearly upset at Harry. She even seemed annoyed when he draped his jacket over her shoulders as a cool breeze started to blow around you all. Just as things started to get unbearably weird the music stopped.

“Everyone, if we can gather on the dance floor, we’re going to sing “Happy Birthday” in just a few moments!” Your uncle announced. You were so grateful for this divinely timed interruption.

“Yay! Time for cake!” You said with excitement and shot out of your seat. Harry and his girlfriend stood as well and he watched as Joe chuckled at you and shrugged off his own jacket. He quietly asked if you were cold, “I’m alright, quite warm from the alcohol.” You assured him, so he just draped it over the chair. 

You two waited for Harry and his girlfriend before making your way over to the dance floor with everyone else. It started to fill up and before long you all started to sing along to the band playing the “Happy Birthday” tune. You and Harry were standing beside each other and in your state, you were having a hard time ignoring your desire to nestle into his side and inhale his cologne. He looked so fucking good. Yes, Joe was a proper hottie, but Harry was Harry. You were drawn to him and he to you, you were magnetic. 

You were starting to realize that it didn’t matter how much time or distance you two let pass by, you were drawn to each other. And when you saw each other again you had to be near him and you loved that it felt like no time had passed at all. Your connection transcended time and distance and that terrified you, because you were starting to realize that if he wanted to string you along as his side piece for the rest of his life, it could very well happen. It didn’t matter that it was wrong to everyone else because it didn’t feel that way to you or to him.

And just as the band played the final note with a colorful flare, your aunt laughed happily and blew out the candles and everyone’s cheering was interrupted by surprised gasps as some fireworks erupted in the sky. You smiled brightly as you looked up at the beautiful colors painting the night sky. And in the midst of your awe at the scene before you, you felt hisHarry's finger grazing your own and the air suddenly left your lungs. You felt your mouth dry up nervously and you swallowed thickly before extending your pinky out to graze against his own. You saw him smile from your peripherals as he locked your fingers together. Such a small gesture had your mind blurring and your body tingling with excitement and relief. 

Shortly after the fireworks and some cake, people started to head out. You made sure to take Joe around to say goodbye to your family before they all left. They were all very happy to meet him and made it clear that they hoped to see him again soon. He nodded along but knew better than that. Regardless of reality, he was so sweet and acknowledged their kind wishes. He had really done an amazing job being your date and you were intent on repaying him all of the effort he had put in for you tonight.

“Ready to go?” He asked and you nodded.

“I just need to use the bathroom. Do you?”

“No, I’m good.” He assured you.

“Okay, I’m gonna try and sneak into a bathroom upstairs and then find my aunt to give her, her present. Can you grab the car from the valet? I’ll meet you there.” 

“Yeah, of course.” He smiled and you thanked him and then dug the little ticket out of your purse before handing it over. 

“Alright, I’ll meet you out there. I won’t be long!” You assured and hurried off.

**************

Harry kept a close eye on you after the crowd dispersed after the fireworks. He was itching to be near you again. Especially since his girlfriend was no longer in a good mood. He wasn’t nearly as preoccupied about that though. He would certainly hear it all tomorrow when she'd let it simmer inside long enough that it just had to come out. 

"I need to go to the bathroom before we go." she said.

"Okay, that's fine there's the line." he said nodding towards it, "I need to talk to Rob about something before we go." he fibbed and she hummed and glanced at the remaining guests. She hadn't said anything as she scanned the area, she was looking for you. Luckily for him, he'd seen you head into the house. "Look, s'getting longer." he said, refocusing her attention back on the line and she huffed.

"Damn it."

"Just go. I'll come find you when I'm done." he assured and she walked off. And he rushed through the crowd to get inside before she saw where he went.

**************

You were going to be quick about this since you’d left Joe to get in line for your car. As you washed your hands you gave yourself a quick look over and were pleased that your makeup was still intact and that you were still satisfied with the casual, black dress you’d chosen to wear. You then reached for the hand towel to dry your hands off and as you opened up the door you gasped in fright, not expecting to see Harry standing there in the dark hallway. He wordlessly pushed you and himself back inside before closing the door and looking right into your eyes.

“What’re you doing here?! If she finds out that you’re-”

“I don’t want to think about her right now.” He shook his head, rejecting the topic you were trying to bring up. You were suddenly struggling to breathe as his hands came up to hold your face tenderly, “I’m so happy you’re here.” He whispered, “You look so pretty.”

“You look good too.” You returned the compliment.

“Yeah?” He asked softly and you smiled and nodded, “Didn’t shave because I hoped I’d see you here. Know you like it when I grow out m’facial hair.” He hummed softly and you smiled in endearment.

“Are you just gonna stare or are you planning on kissing me at some point?” You questioned with a smirk and he grinned as he leaned in. 

Your kiss was a little unsuccessful at first, given that you were giggling and smiling like fools. But as soon as your teeth dug into his bottom lip he groaned and grabbed your hips before pushing you up against the door. Your lips met with urgency and you kissed ardently as his hips kept your body pinned to the door. One of his hands slid up the back of your dress and smoothed over your bottom. You were wearing a thong because of the sleek look of the dress, but you were glad that it was beneficial for this too. His other hand squeezed over your right breast before he started to fondle it as you held him close by the belt loops. He had just started rutting against your front when your phone started to ring in your purse.

“Just ignore it.” He mumbled.

“Can’t.” You said and he huffed before kissing your chin and then working his way up your jaw and to your ear lobe as you blindly grabbed the phone out of your bag. You saw Joe’s name on the screen and answered it.

“Hello?” You spoke quietly as Harry moved down to your neck.

“Hey, there’s one person ahead of me.” He informed and you held in a whimper as Harry started to suck right where your jaw and neck met.

“O-okay. Just looking for my aunt to give her the card I got her.” You fibbed.

“Okay, if they come before you get here I’ll wait right outside the gate.”

“Alright, I’ll be there soon.” You assured and hung up quickly without letting him say another thing. You hissed as Harry sucked a bit harder, doing his best to leave his mark on your skin. “H-how am I gonna explain this? I was trying to get laid tonight.” You mumbled and he chuckled as he pulled away and kissed his way back up to your lips.

“You could still get laid.” He said with a smug grin as he hovered directly over you. His words were practically traced against your lips, it was making you dizzy.

“I think a fresh love bite from another man might be a bit off putting.” You replied with snark and he smirked.

“Then maybe you should get fucked by the person who marked you.” He suggested and you chuckled and sighed, “Please, angel. Just one more time.”

“Go fuck your girlfriend.” You suggested playfully and his smile faded and he shook his head.

“I don’t want her.” He responded as his eyes met yours with sincerity and clarity. 

Hearing him say that filled you with a bit of arrogance but more than that, there was relief. Relief that maybe, he was as down bad for you as you were for him. You tiptoed and then grabbed his jaw before leaning in to kiss him deeply before pulling back.

“Find a way to sneak out and come over. I’ll leave a spare key taped to the inside of the little slot for the post.” You said and he bit his lip to try and diminish the size of his smile.

“Okay. I’ll text when I leave mine. Might be late.”

“S’alright. I’ll wait for you.” You assured him as you looked deep into his beautiful, jade eyes. 

Something about the way you were saying it told him that you meant that in a way more complex than just plotting for a hook up. His gaze softened and he leaned in and kissed you delicately.

“Will you really?” He asked and you nodded, “Then say it again.” He whispered.

“I’ll wait for you, Harry.” You mumbled against his kiss-swollen lips and he kissed you deeply once more before slipping out of the bathroom quickly. 

You sighed and proceeded to lick over your lips. You could still slightly taste his minty lip balm smeared against them. You were smiling at yourself in the mirror, already feeling a little stupid for being so weak when it came to Harry as you shook your head and smirked before rolling your eyes.

“The things I do for love…”

_ _ _ _

>> Read Part 2 >>

Let me know what you think!

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[stylessbean]

More Harry Styles Fic Recs

------------ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍓🍒🍄 ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ------------

FOR JANUARY, FEBRUARY, AND MARCH

One Shots:

Y/N is a CEO, Harry is also a CEO - @sumptuoushstyles-blog

five seconds - @autumn-sunflowers

knight in skinny jeans - @stylesharrys

Partners in Crime - @watchmegetobsessed

Golden - @hunflowers

Quid Pro Quo - @talesofstyles

Casual - @cupid-styles

Swan Lake - @enthusiasticharry

Serendipity - @justlemmeadoreyou

Afterparty - @chaoticloving

Sweet Symphonies - @smuttyaf

Baby Steps - @enthusiasticharry

Uptown Girl - @thestoryofusstan

Series:

Your Love AU - @theydontknowaboutusimagines

The Royal Series - @harrylilies

Eight Count - @hsdiaries

Portfolio - @nationalharryleague

Petal - @autumn-sunflowers

Now You're In My Life - @justmystyles

Old Grudges | Part 2 - @watchmegetobsessed

Secret Little Rendezvous - @justlemmeadoreyou

All that you are - @stylesharrys

[finelinevogue]

always

summary - you and harry finally say those three words

pairing - actress!reader x harry

word count - ~1.5k

💐🌷☀️💗 💐🌷☀️💗 💐🌷☀️💗 💐🌷☀️💗

It was the Oscar’s after party at Vanity Fair and you were a little tipsy.

A happy drunk, some may say.

Just tipsy enough to be able to giggle at everything, but to also still have your entire wits about you. Your boyfriend on your arm was exactly the same. It was lucky neither of you were the designated driver.

“It was nice seeing you!” You politely waved off two people you would not mind never seeing again.

After they were gone, Harry clearly had the same opinion as you.

“Knobheads.” He muttered close to your ear, so no one with a camera could even pick up what he was saying.

“That’s Hollywood, my love.”

“Yeah, but they could have been slightly more discreet about only liking your recent film because you were topless for a small scene.” He huffed.

You looked up at him, filtering out every other star-studded celebrity in the room.

“They were two white old men, what did you expect?”

“Some respect.”

“At least I’ll always have you for that.” You cupped his cheek and his frown melted away. The soft touch of your skin against his was enough to coax back the smile that had been missing on his face.

Harry continued to look at you as you looked at him.

You couldn’t help but give off a blush and a nervous smile as you watched his gaze upon yours. “What?”

“Nothing,” He tried to bite back a ridiculous grin, “Just like that word.”

“What word?” You furrowed your brows in confusion.

“Always.”

You thought back to what you’d just said and you ducked your head to hide the nervous smile widen, docking your forehead onto his chest.

You felt Harry’s chest rise and fall with a chuckle and you wrapped your arms around him to conceal all that happiness between just you two.

It was moments like this when you wanted to lean up and whisper those three words. The three words that apparently change everything. You’d never spoken them to anyone, like this, before so it was difficult to know how to even say them.

You were certain of one thing though. Even though you’d only been together for less than half a year, you’d never felt like this for anyone before. And sometimes you felt like Harry was the same.

You were certain that you loved Harry.

It was only a matter of how to tell him.

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

An hour later and you found yourself at the front of the photo booth queue.

Harry had been doing his rounds, saying hello to friendly faces such as Billie and Florence.

You had done your rounds, as well as take non-negotiable photos with your cast mates for one final hurrah.

Even though your movie hadn’t swept at the Oscar’s this year, you were just happy to have been a part of it. Creating movies and bringing stories to life is more than you could ever have dreamed of. Plus, you always had Harry’s hand to hold through it all now - which made it easier.

Harry was in fact holding your hand now.

As Barry and Sabrina walked out of the booth, lipstick smudged all over Barry’s smirking lips, Harry squeezed your hand to signal you were next.

Harry held back the curtain for you, but you waited for him to sit down first.

There was a bench that could fit at least four people on it, but you and Harry had pre-discussed what your photos would be (whilst waiting in the queue) and you’d both agreed that you sitting on his lap was the only way.

The “only way” being Harry’s words…

Not that you minded.

“Only photobooth where you don’t have to pay.” You commented, as you situated yourself sideaways on Harry’s lap.

Your arms slunk across his shoulders for support and his arm wrapped securely around your waist.

You moved slightly to get more comfortable on Harry’s thighs.

“Stop wriggling.” He grunted, making you instantly stop.

“Wh… Oh… Oh, Babe! You’re so….” You laughed at him.

“Hey, you’re not the one who has to go back out there with an obvious issue.”

“Doesn’t have to be an issue…” You attempted your best seductive whisper, but ended up bursting out giggling at the end.

“I hate you.”

You shut up, but his words had you thinking about the hidden meaning. He clearly didn’t hate you, that much was quite visibly obvious, so did he technically mean the opposite? Did he actually mean he lo–

“Y/N/N?” Your nickname being spoken brought you away from your thoughts, “You ready?”

You cleared your throat and approved.

The camera counted down…

The first photo would be of you and Harry simply smiling at the camera, faces leaning against each other.

3. 2. 1.

*snap*

You quickly moved yourselves for the next photo.

The second photo was of Harry kissing your cheek, whilst you made whatever face you wanted to. You decided to scrunch your eyes and smile like an idiot - because that’s how it felt to be in love.

3. 2. 1.

*snap*

In love.

That’s what you were.

You were insanely in love with Harry and he deserved to know. You deserved to share this love.

“Love?” Harry quickly reminded you off the next photo quickly approaching.

It was meant to be of you now kissing Harry’s cheek and him doing whatever he wanted, but now you wanted to do something else.

You cupped the far side of his cheek gently and leant your lips against his ear.

3.

“Y/N?”

2.

“I love you.”

1.

*snap*

Harry quickly turned his head towards you, nearly knocking your nose off in the process.

“What?” He had tiny pools of water collecting in his eyes.

“I love you.” You smiled warmly, softly rubbing over his cheek.

“Fuck.” He smiled, letting a tear fall.

3.

“I love you, too.” He said.

2.

“So much.” He cupped your cheek.

1.

And he kissed you with so much force.

*snap*

You almost fell back with how much he pushed into you, but that’s what kissing him felt like anyway - free falling.

Saying three words had never felt so explosive.

It was like a confetti cannon had been set off and the confetti was all your love for each other being scattered around the photo booth. You felt full and happy, and you could tell by Harry’s kiss that he felt exactly the same.

You pulled back, licking your lips and trying your best not to cry in case it ruined your makeup.

Harry didn’t care, he let some tears fall.

You brushed them away carefully with your thumbs.

“Those better be happy tears and not tears of instant regret.” You joked.

“Happy falls a bit flat of describing how I feel right now, love.”

You giggled and pushed yourself back onto his lips, kissing him to let those three words sink in more.

He moved back, needing to take you in, in this moment, before giving you a few smaller kisses.

“We should go.” You whispered.

“No.” Harry pouted.

“H, this is a photo booth not a kissing booth.”

He laughed, “Okay.”

You both got up to leave, pushing the curtain away and taking the little strip of photos from the deposit on the side of the booth.

Two had printed.

You both laughed at the one where you’d spoken those little words, because Harry’s facial expressions were so funny. He looked a mixture of shocked and happy all at once.

Harry tucked the photo strip into the inside pocket on his suit jacket, whilst you kept a tight grip on yours.

You held onto Harry’s hand and hugged onto his arm.

“That was a better moment than any Oscar award.” You honestly spoke.

Harry leant down to kiss your forehead.

“I love you.” He looked genuinely excited to be able to say that to you. “And I’m proud of you.”

“I know.”

“Oi, don’t you Star wars me!” He mocked. “Say it, or else.”

“I looooovvee you.” You teased out the word. Harry shook his head at you for being so annoying, but also he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Those three words belonged to him now as they belonged to you. And always will.

[shawnxstyles]

baby honey

OCTOBER 29, 2023

summary: besides being a friendly bartender at night, harry likes to get a little extra cash by doing porn during the day; and he’s successful. but who knew it was so common for two people who work at the same bar to both be secret porn stars?

request: @victoria-styles: “How about like Harry is a porn star who requests a video with Y/N.”

song: baby honey- harry <3

words: 11k

warnings: SMUT (f-receiving [masturbation], m-receiving [masturbation], mentions of porn, dirty talk) and language.

note: sorry for being off the world for so long… i’ll probably end up doing it again soon. but i had a day to write and i wanted to throw this out there. again, i apologize if it’s rushed or sloppy. it’s just the time i had :/ PART TWO

secret pornstar!harry x secret pornstar!y/n

—

��What’d you like, beautiful?” Harry smiles brightly, flashing his white bunny teeth at the lady on the other side of the bar. Her auburn highlights were curled romantically while she sported a tight black dress that was too small for her breasts. She was definitely a young college student while Harry was in his late 20s. Noticing his appearance, she bites her burgundy-painted lips. Her elbows lean on the slick counter, leaning forward to subtly show Harry more of her cleavage.

He didn’t indulge, but continued with his flirty attitude in order to get more tips. Charm was his speciality; it came naturally to him with no effort. After bartending for two years, everything became easy. Plus, it was fun to flirt all night long. He never got tired of the desire that flashed in women’s eyes as they looked him up and down. It made him feel confident and cocky, and he tried his hardest not to be arrogant when talking about it with his co-workers.

Being a bartender was like playing a role for some people, but for Harry, it was just who he was. And he got paid for it. In a nice paycheck and hefty tips.

“Mm, I don’t know. What do you suggest?” Her voice was high and hissy, trying to appear sensual. She slides a card toward him with two fingers. Harry doesn’t blink an eye or hesitate at this behavior; he’s seen this movie too many times to be naive.

With a smirk on his face, Harry works his magic behind the counter. His white sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, giving the lady a perfect view of his forearm muscles and veins. The woman watches his every move, focusing on the way his tattooed hands grip every bottle with efficient skill yet delicacy.

In less than two minutes, a peach colored drink was placed in front of the woman. Her eyes visibly sparkle as if she’s never seen alcohol before she sips the liquid.

“Oh my God! This is delicious,” She practically moans out, causing Harry to smirk. He loves when people compliment his craft. “What is this?���

“Sex on the beach,” Harry winks and flashes his famous grin before snatching her card and waltzing away.

His parting was almost cool, almost movie-like until he ran into somebody holding a large tub of ice. The tub smacked him in his abdomen, knocking the wind out of him. He groans deeply, trying to catch his breath while clutching his stomach for a moment.

“Fuck! Are you okay?” Your eyes wander over Harry’s face and body, attempting to recover. Hearing his voice made a flush spread across your whole skin, but you blame it on the warmth around the bar. Your white and yellow-painted fingers clutch around the handles tightly.

“Yeah, m’fine. Just knocked the wind out of me s’all,” He smiles reassuringly, throwing his rag over his shoulder. His eyes scan over your figure, just like he tries to avoid doing every night.

You had your hair pinned up in a messy bun that was simple, yet so alluring. A classic white button up and a black vest adorned your body perfectly. You wore the same standard uniform as everyone else, yet you made it look so seductive to Harry; he assumed you got loads of tips by the end of the night. Even if you were in a garbage bag, you would blow people away in the bar–men and women. He was jealous of everyone who got to be a part of your flirtatious side, but not everyone saw the genuine side of you like he had.

Another flush cascaded your skin as his eyes drifted over you and the smallest smirk appeared on his lips. The sounds of music and people buzzing drunkenly weren’t nearly as loud as the heart that was thumping in your chest. You clenched the handles even harder before looking anywhere but him, too intimidated by his charming presence.

“I’ll just, um,” You suggested awkwardly with a half smile. Standing this close to Harry without talking made you think of things. Things that you dreamt about, or things that inspired your hand to drift between your legs. The ice in the tub was probably melting from the warmth radiating off of you.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Harry shakes his head and shifts in an attempt to move past you.

You adjust the tub as he slides next to you, bodies rubbing together. His hand gently rests on your shoulder as he wiggles by you. Butterflies soar throughout your tummy at the brief contact before his touch is gone way too soon. You watch as his smile grows, walking backwards before turning around and charming another customer.

You exhale and return to focusing on your job, the bubbly feeling never leaving you.

From the corner of his eye, Harry sees you walk around the corner until you’re completely out of his sight. The black slacks you wore made him tight in his trousers a countless amount of times, basically every night. Even though he tried to avoid staring, his gaze and curiosity was drawn to you, so he hopelessly stared at your body as you strutted away. When his greedy cock twitches, he bites his tongue.

Well, at least he knows what he’s thinking about later.

God, it was so wrong. To think about you while he was getting himself off. He couldn’t help himself. After working with you for a year, his attraction to you never ceased. He thought if maybe he just got off on the idea of you one time he would be freed from the attraction he felt for his co-worker. But that only created a routine.

Harry would hook-up occasionally, and yeah, it would be nice, but nothing satisfied him completely because they weren’t you. He consistently found himself masturbating with thoughts of you on your knees. Or you on his lap, straddling or riding him. He would imagine the way you’d whine, whimper, moan, and scream for him, and these thoughts made him come hard every time.

But that nagging, unsatisfied feeling haunted him. He wanted you so bad it almost hurt. So, he resorted to other, less practical options.

He had thought about joining the porn industry awhile ago when he was in college. He thought it would be great money, and it turns out it’s even better than what he makes as a bartender.

And he thought being a bartender would make him cocky and arrogant.

Harry started over half a year ago–a few months after you got the job. In order to distract himself from thinking of you or sleeping with other women, he recorded videos during the day. Surprisingly, he got more popular than he thought he would, gaining a few thousand subscribers in just three months. Now, seven months since the beginning, Harry would do videos, live streams, and personal requests for people who paid extra.

But he never showed his face. Ever.

At night, he would work his busy shift at the bar, flirting with customers just like he did on live streams. This way, he couldn’t allow himself to engage in the idea of having a crush on a co-worker. It was just unprofessional. But even if he tried doing all of this, it was impossible for him to deny the small crush he had on you. So, that’s all he labeled it as; a small crush. Nothing more.

He wouldn’t say you were his only reason for getting into the industry. He had thought about it for quite some time, so you were just his… motivator.

When the bustling night finally comes to an end, nothing but a few footsteps echo throughout the bar as Harry wipes the counter and tables clean. As he’s just finishing up his last table, he hears your angelic voice on the other side of the bar.

“Need some help?” You offer, with a slight head tilt and a show-stopping smile as you lean on the glossy, black counter. That was the smile that got you tips, and if it didn’t, Harry would sure be willing to give you some himself. “Please let me help.”

“Just finishing up. Go on home. Don’t worry ‘bout closing up,” He tosses the rag over his shoulder as he walks towards the back room where all the locker rooms are located. You sigh into the silent air as you follow him.

“Harry, you can’t keep doing this for me every night. I can close up by myself. I’m a big girl…”

Ever since you’ve started, Harry’s been intrigued by you. Out of curiosity on your first night, Harry stayed back and helped you close up. He was surprised they made you close so soon, especially on the first night. But you should’ve had previous training.

It was purely curiosity, just to see if you did it right and whatnot. But then he did it the next night, and the next. And eventually, he anticipated and looked forward to cleaning up the bar, knowing that it was just the two of you. It didn’t really help Harry with his little crush on you, but he didn’t care when he heard your laugh and saw your smile. You were refreshing to him after a long, busy night that crept into early morning.

“I know, I know. Don’t want you to be lonely s’all.” Popping open his locker, he shuffles through all of his belongings. You appreciated that Harry would stay an extra hour every single night just because he didn’t want you to feel lonely. It made your heart all warm and your stomach feel gushy every time you were alone together. For some reason right now, his words made your tummy tingle.

“And I appreciate that a lot! But I feel bad for making you stay here longer than you have to. I know Carrie doesn’t even know you work that late,” You cross your arms while talking about your manager. Harry rolls his eyes as he continues to mess around in his locker.

“You’re not makin’ me do anything. I’m doin’ it all on my own,” He rebuttals as you move closer to him as if he’ll hear you clearer.

“But Harry–” Harry cuts off your voice because it sounds too whiny, pathetic, and way too erotic for him to make any rational decisions with you standing this close to him. He slams his hand on the metal locker, making your eyes widen and freeze.

“But nothing. Stop your whinin’, Y/N. I thought you were a big girl,” Harry grumbles before unbuttoning his vest and shrugging it off. Even if he’s just removing his vest, his hands are a bit shaky, nerves flowing through him because you’re staying right in front of him, unmoving, while he’s undressing himself.

“What are you doing?” You ask anxiously as your eyes flash over at his movements.

“Taking m’vest off?”

“Oh, right, yeah,” Well, now, you look fucking stupid.

You both bicker back and forth until Harry caves and you shine that bullet-proof smile at him. He swears he feels his knees buckle and heart jump in his chest, but swallows the feelings down.

“Fine, get the mop.”

Together, you wipe all the surfaces clean, mop the floors, restock any liquors that were empty, and lock the doors. When your job is done, you and Harry walk into the back room to grab your stuff.

“Thanks for staying,” You felt as though it was getting awkward, the silence of your footsteps and the creakness of the locker door.

“‘Course,” Harry replies gruffly and shuts his door. As he leads you out the backdoor, you both start heading in different directions without knowing. Harry usually parks in the same stall every day if he can. However, you don’t and just park anywhere you can.

“Oh. Well, goodnight, H,” You smiled softly as you drifted away to your car. It looked a little different to Harry, but maybe that’s just because it was almost pitch-black outside. Or did you get a new car and he just never noticed? Harry watches you carefully to make sure you get to your vehicle safely, and when you do, he makes his way to his own car.

You didn’t call him H a lot. The first time you did it was by accident when you spilt something on his slacks during your first week in training. He just laughed and cleaned himself up, and then said that nobody had ever called him that besides his mom. For some odd reason, a little spark ignited in you, so you started calling him H, but not all the time since it seemed special. Most of the time when you two were alone. You didn’t want other people saying H when it kind of became your guys’ thing. Besides his mom of course.

Harry loved when you called him H. His mom called him that when he was a little boy, but it’s been at least a decade since she’s said just the pure letter.

As Harry starts his engine and backs out, he inhales deeply with the thought of you in his mind. As always.

–

“Y/N, I need my car back,” Penny says on the other side of the phone, slight annoyance lacing her tone.

“I know, okay? I’m just trying to save up, and I almost have enough!”

“Fine,” Penny sighs. You can hear the exhausted pinch of her nose, “but I need it back by next Friday for that trip no matter what. Even if you have to take the damn bus. And if you don’t, I’m telling Mom and Dad.”

“Thank you so much!” Your voice is cut off by the sound of the call ending, and you sigh heavily into the morning air. She’s very mature for a thirty year old.

Last week, your car had broken down on the side of the road. It was an old, shitty car, but it got you from your parents’ house and through most of college. Your parents helped pay for a good chunk of your tuition, so you didn’t dare to ask them to loan you some money for a new car. You didn’t want them to know you needed help because they’ve already done so much for you two and you know they’re looking to retire at some point. So, you asked your older sister, Penny, to borrow hers for a few days while you came up with a better solution. She was fine with it at first, but you can tell it’s probably time to give it back.

However, even though you said you would have the money by next Friday and it’s Sunday, you wouldn’t. There is no way in hell you were going to come up with an extra two thousand dollars in twelve days.

–

You decided to open up to Harry as you were closing the bar on Tuesday night. He listened with care and nodded along to every complaint you whined. Even though it brutally killed him to listen to it. Gosh, he was so dirty minded.

“I can’t even get a second job because I wouldn’t get paid in time. And I really don’t want Penny playing snitch and telling my parents about my car,” You gasp, “What if they stop paying for my tuition because they think I’m irresponsible? Ugh, what should I do, Harry?”

“Relax f’me,” Harry reassured, and bit his cheek at his choice of words. Why is he the most sexual person ever? “I could always take you to work. And loan you some cash.”

“Absolutely not. We don’t work the same days and I don’t want you driving me when you could be busy—”

“Y/N, s’not an issue. The university s’not that far from ‘ere.”

“But—”

“No,” Harry ended the banter quickly with a strict tone. His voice made you swallow and submit without a second thought. Your stomach unconsciously burned and your heart beated rapidly as you blinked in place. “Go get y’things.”

“Fine, but I don’t want your money.”

So, you got your things. Harry walked you out to your car and then you went your separate ways. Even though he said it’s not a big deal, you didn’t drop it. Instead, you did excessive research on part-time jobs that pay really well. However, your options were slim to none.

Giving up, you fell dramatically onto your mattress in defeat. Suddenly, your phone pings and you check it, wondering who would be texting you at one A.M.

H: Send me your schedule when you get the chance. The new one hasn't been printed yet.

H: You’re probably asleep, sorry

Y/N: i’m not asleep

Y/N: *Image Attachment*

H: Cool thanks

Y/N: no thank YOU for helping me out you’re too kind H

H: Anything for you love

Is what Harry wanted to say, but he was too much of a chicken. That’s what Harry wanted to say in a perfect world, but nothing is on his side. He thought he had erased the message and exited the app. Instead, the message sent, and autocorrect changed the entire meaning.

H: Anything for your love

This is why punctuation and revision is important!

Your heart skipped a beat. Longer than a beat. You felt the organ get caught in your throat and subtly choke you as you read the four words. Why would he say that? You wait a few moments to see if he’s going to type something else, maybe realize he made a mistake, but he never does. So, you sit rereading the four words like a mantra in your head.

You turn your phone off after you realize how ridiculous you’re being. You place the device on your nightstand and try to go to sleep. But you can’t. You can’t stop thinking of Harry. His kindness, his voice, his body, his words… They’re infecting you and giving you insomnia.

So, instead of staring at the ceiling until you fall asleep, you snatch your laptop from below your nightstand. You pull up your private browser (not that it matters) and search your favorite website. Well, your favorite porn website.

If you watched enough videos, or maybe even fingered yourself, you would fall asleep.

You were a regular on the website. More than a regular. You were a… worker. A star, or whatever. Is that what the employees were called? At the beginning of college you started recording little videos of yourself just groping or rubbing hoping to earn a little cash. But when you got a little more confident, you would rub your clit and finger yourself until you came.

Crazy, right?

It’s quite insane how it all happened. It’s a good side hustle, but it’s still not enough to help you buy a car by your deadline. You get paid less than you do as a bartender, which kind of sucks. You thought about quitting, but it’s probably the funnest job you’ve ever had. How many jobs do you get orgasms from?

None.

Maybe you need to step up your game. Maybe you need to start using various toys that your viewers recommend in order to spice things up. Will that get you views? You didn’t know because you didn’t know a lot about the porn industry.

Scrolling past your profile to avoid obsessing over your insecurities, you look at who's live. That’s one thing you’ll never do; go on live. No matter how much the handful of viewers you get want you to, you don’t trust yourself. You never show your face in any of your videos and if you did by accident, you always blur it out. But on livestream, you can’t just go back and fix it. Your face will be on the internet forever, and your biggest fear is that it will haunt you for the rest of your life.

What if you can’t get a real job because your face is on some porn website? Or you can’t get married? Or you can’t look your friends in the eyes because they’ve seen yours on a livestream?

You couldn’t live with that.

When nothing seems at all entertaining, a video of a man with tattoos spawns on your screen. Your first thought was that it looks like Harry, but you know it wasn’t. The man didn’t have the cross tattoo on his left hand and was lacking in other spots.

You bet Harry was fit. The way he carried those tubs of ice or lifted something heavy off the shelves… You knew he had to have some type of hefty muscle under his rolled button-up. Speaking of, when he curls the white sleeves, you can’t help but ogle him every time you see him. You strain to look away because his forearms just look so delicious with his smooth, tattooed skin.

Nonetheless, you still clicked on the video. It was a solo guy simply just jerking himself off with loads of foreplay and dirty talk. Usually, this kind of scene makes you cringe. But as your mind spirals, you imagine it’s Harry; his voice, his tattoos, his body, his hands…

Every explicit word and sound that falls from the man’s mouth causes you to whimper as you translate it as Harry. Your hand easily shuffles itself between your widening legs, rubbing gently over the cotton of your panties.

The guy begins stroking his cock, slowly but surely as his tip leaks. You shut your eyes, not bothering with the video. All you wanted were the sounds—the grunting, moaning, and direct words spouting from this man’s throat that pushed you further. They sounded gruff, and you couldn’t erase how perfectly it aligned with your imagination of Harry.

A broken moan escapes you when you shift your underwear to the side and slot in a finger. You barely teased yourself, and thrusted in and out with purpose.

The man in the video was American, and some may say it’s hard to imagine a British accent. But when you were horny and had a ridiculous crush on your 28 year old co-worker who was 6 years older than you, your brain was relentless.

The audio spouted out his grumbled moan as your opposing thumb rolled over your clit. You couldn’t stop thinking of Harry’s hands on you, his fingers inside of you instead of your own. You imagine he’s good too. You can practically feel the way he sinks all the way into you and curls deliciously until his rings are teasing your folds. His smirk would hang over your face as you broke down, trembling as you came around his digits.

That wasn’t real, but your mind couldn’t comprehend that right now. As the guy loudly groaned one final time, he came with spurts of his orgasm landing on his chiseled torso.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you came around two fingers that weren’t Harry’s. The remaining thought left you unsatisfied overall, but it would have to surfice for tonight. As you drained yourself of your orgasm, you trudged to your shared bathroom and quickly cleaned yourself up before anyone could see.

Your dormmates were always in and out. They both were in full-time relationships and jobs that caused them to be busy twenty-four-seven. Sometimes, you were glad because then you could have the whole dorm to yourself. That’s usually when you recorded your videos for your website, and then would edit them some other time.

Now exhausted, you flopped onto your bed and shut your laptop closed. You twisted off your bedside lamp as your eyes grew heavier by the minute. It wasn’t long before your mind dragged you into slumber, the thought of Harry still lingering.

—

When you woke up the next morning, you were glad you didn’t have work that night. Although you’ve selfishly gotten off to Harry before, you never did have to face him the next day. It’s almost like you planned it that way. You groggily rolled out of bed as you normally do and began your short morning routine.

You left the doom and walked to class, too tired to get a coffee, but too tired to go to class. Your head pounded, needing the addicting caffeine, so you forced yourself to walk down to the small coffee shop near your school.

Snatching the miniature paper cup, you skulked your way to class with half your brain on. During the lecture, you felt yourself slipping away into dreamland; one where you had a great paying job, a nice, working car, and a very, very comfy bed. You imagined yourself sleeping peacefully and then waking up to the sound of chirping birds on your windowsill and a handsome man by your side. For a sliver of a moment, due to your shenanigans last night, your brain envisioned Harry as the man beside you. But even the exhausted and delirious morning version of you knew you were being foolish to even think about Harry in the same bed as you. Boy, was that a fantasy.

It was too domestic and way too out of reach for you both. You merely closed with the guy and ranted about your own life. Pouring out your problems was definitely not attractive, and neither was a college girl that was six years younger than him without a working car. But he offered to drive you to work. What does that mean? Nothing. That’s just what friendly co-workers do, right? When you realized you were insanely delusional, you rushed to scribble the notes in your notebook before your daydreams got the best of you.

“That’s all for today,” were your favorite set of words at the moment. The second you heard your professor’s routine dismissal, you were shoving your supplies in your bag with more energy than you had all day. You were the first to exit class, but was that really surprising?

When you got back to the dorm, you dropped your bag and fell flat on your bed. Silence filled your room just as last night (or this morning if you wanted to get technical). But it was brighter and a bit stuffer due to the heat of the sun beaming through your window that you forgot to block with your blinds. Groaning, you do just that right as you get a message from your phone. Flopping back on your bed, you flip the device over with surprise.

H: Do you work today

You were shocked to see that Harry texted you because one, it was mid-day and two, he rarely ever texts. When his name pops up on your screen’s wallpaper, your heart jumps in your chest before reading the message ten more times in order to comprehend it. But this text specifically had you confused. You sent him your schedule last night, so he knows exactly when you work. Why would he need to be asking you when he has the information?

Instead of being a bitch, you just reply simply.

Y/N: i don’t. why what’s up

He responds quickly.

H: Carrie called and asked if anyone could come in to cover Allison’s shift tonight

Y/N: closing?

H: Yeah

Y/N: are you working?

Why would you ask that? You were probably going to pick up the shift anyway, so why didn’t you just say yes?

Maybe because your delusional ass wants to keep this dry, solely work-related conversation going!

H: Yes

Y/N: kk then i can cover

H: Need a ride?

Why did Harry ask that? He knows that you still have your sister’s car for the rest of the week, yet he still asked. Is there a little sliver inside of him that hopes you’ll say yes just so he can spend time with you? Yes. The real question was, is it weird that he wanted you to say yes?

Y/N: it’s okay i still have penny’s car until friday

Harry didn’t respond after that. He was hit with what he assumed was disappointment, but he had no reason to be disappointed.

You were the type of person to ask a million questions until you found out the reason behind something. Harry found that out early on. So, just in case you ask him why he reached out to you, his excuse would be that you needed the money because of Tuesday’s rant. Maybe it would sound a little harsh, but it was better than Harry admitting that he just wanted to work with you again. Or that he wanted to be with you alone.

God, he sounds like such a creep.

When the night came, Harry was impatiently waiting for you to come in. He had already been there an hour and every few minutes his head would look backward to see if you were walking in through the back door. When he realized how weird and obsessive he was being, he refocused on his work; smiling, charming, and getting tips. Some nights were harder than others to act all sexy and sweet because he didn’t always feel that way. But when he worked with you, everything seemed a bit easier. But it was also because he had the dirtiest mind in the world and couldn’t stop thinking about what was underneath your button-up. Okay, so maybe working with you wasn’t the easiest…

“Look at her.”

“Who?”

“That one. The one with the pinned up hair,” A burly man points. “I would not mind gettin’ some of that.”

“Oh yeah. Look at her tits. They are practically poppin’ out of that top–”

Harry’s never turned around so quickly in his life. When he turned, he saw exactly what the two bastards were looking at; you. You were wearing a little more makeup than usual and your top was missing the first button. Harry felt his blood boil, but not with rage. No, it was bubbling up with some intense need to push you into the back room and lock the door. He would pluck off every single button with his mouth if you asked him to. But he also hated that everyone could see. Every person in this bar, including the two perverts behind him, got to ogle your beauty. Harry felt like he couldn’t admire you the way that strangers get to, and he was right. He couldn’t. It was wrong. You were friends. You were co-workers. That had to be against some rule, right?

Once he got his head somewhat straight, he spun back around to face the two men again. Harry was not charming and he was not smiling this time. Before Harry even had the chance to speak, the man was already talking over him.

“Yo, you think you could hook me up with that one? The busty one?” Harry was going to beat the shit out of this guy. But he’s going to try his best to remain professional first.

“You’re not allowed to hit on employees. And you’re not allowed to talk about them in an inappropriate manner,” Harry clenched his jaw and peered over at you, “If you say another goddamn word about her I will kick your ass to the curb, yeah?”

One of the men wasn't even paying attention anymore, but the one who started it all merely snickered at Harry. He shook his head in annoyance before spinning around on his stool and hopping off. He could hear little grumbles coming from his bearded mouth, but he didn’t actually say anything else. Harry felt like it was a little victory in his book, but he still felt that drop of jealousy inside of him.

Control.

He took a deep breath and concentrated on anything else. He attempted to stay as far away from you as possible because he thinks tonight may be the night he loses control. You had your hair pinned up again, like usual, but the ends were sticking out. Harry thought about pulling on them until your hair came undone completely. Like he noticed earlier, you had on more makeup, but it wasn’t a lot compared to some of the women that waltzed into the bar. Your lipstick was a bold red while your eyes had that gold glitter eyeshadow stuff that made them sparkle. To say the least, you were attractive. You were a captivating magnet of beauty that people were drawn to. When you walked in a room, people stopped to look at you for minutes at a time because they were fascinated by you. Well, that’s at least how Harry felt. Every time.

At midnight, when the bar finally died down a bit because it’s Wednesday, Harry still tried to avoid you. You seemed extra smiley and extra bouncy for some reason too. It was physically hard to not walk over to you. When Harry wanted something, he usually got it, but his self-control was proving that fact to be false.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you all night!” Just when he thought you might leave his mind for the first time tonight–you weren’t–he summoned you next to him. You were as smiley and bouncy as you seemed earlier and he wondered how you weren’t exhausted.

“Hey,” he replied with some guilt in his tone. He coughs, trying not to peer down at your breasts. “How are you so…”

“Awake? I had four espresso shots before work.”

“Okay, well, that explains a lot,” Harry felt the need to say something about your look. He wanted to compliment you, but would that be weird? No, right? You probably got a hundred compliments and loads of tips because of your beauty alone. He has never thought twice about complimenting somebody before. He swallowed. “I, uh, like your makeup.”

You blinked, suddenly feeling the weight of your mascara on your eyelashes and the lipstick on your lips. Your heart was already beating quickly because of the caffeine, but Harry’s compliment made it much worse. The organ was thumping speedily inside of you like it was trying to win a race. Your ears were getting warm along with the nape of your neck as a tingle of something shot through your body. Like? Lust? Need?

“T-Thank you,” You bit your tongue immediately for stuttering. Harry ignited a flame of energy into you that no amount of caffeine could recreate. He was staring at you now, his gaze so intense you might melt from his invisible laser beams. When his irises moved, you swear they shot down to your cleavage for a millisecond before staring at your painted lips. You tried not to look at any of his tattoos that were visible because you knew that would end it all for you; all of your self-control that you have somehow mustered up this far would disintegrate into the lust-filled air. Did he feel this too? The intense attraction connected by a thick rope that pulled you closer and closer together?

“I’m going to go do…anything else.” As your body moved away from him in an urge to remain self-controlled, your eyes were the last thing to yank away. But your luck got the best of you, as always. As you walked backwards, your heel stepped on a half-melted ice cube that managed to make you slip on your ass. But not before Harry was right in front of you, catching you before you ass hit the ground.

He tugs you up a little too harshly, slamming you into his chest. Your hands immediately flatten themselves against it while he holds your elbows tightly. He quickly peers down at your chipped nails; white and yellow. His gaze on them made you tremble with sudden insecurity. You’ve never been this close to him before, and all your insides were warning you of their near death. Your vagina was melting away at this point, your wetness soaking your underwear until they were completely wet. You could feel your heart beating rapidly in your throat while his heart throbbed against your palms.

Maybe he did feel it too.

Hesitantly, you looked up at him, but he was already looking at you.

“What are you doing to me?” he asks quietly, his grip loosening just the slightest.

“I could ask the same thing,” You responded breathlessly, hands slowly sliding down his chest.

“I have no control around you.”

“What do you mean?” You knew what he meant because you felt it too, but you wanted him to say it first. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it before the words could come out. Once you are on steady feet, he releases his hold on you completely just as the bar doorbell rings. An older man walks in, Harry immediately fetching the guy’s order. He gets a beer while messaging on his phone consistently. Harry avoided you for the rest of the hour. Two more people came in and he busied himself with their orders and paid attention to only them. You wondered if he was going to stay and close with you tonight or if the encounter was awkward enough to make him go home early.

You take a deep breath before trudging away into the back room to start your close, careful to not slip on any ice because you knew Harry wouldn’t be there this time to catch you.

–

Once the doors were finally locked, you were able to start mopping in front of the bar. The chairs were all flipped and the tables and booths were all sanitized. You peered through the windows as a few people walked by, the mophead gliding easily along the floor. When you were finished, you tried not to think about where Harry was. You’re not sure if he had left for the night because you’ve been in the front and he’s been in the back. As you drag the mop into the back room with its bucket, you witness Harry unbuttoning his vest. Your traitorous heart thumped and your lady parts still ached, even if you were upset he’d been avoiding you without a valid reason. What did he not have control over? Himself? You wanted him to explain everything to you.

“I don’t like this, Harry.”

“What?” he croaked, voice seemingly dry from talking the previous hour.

“You avoiding me,” You took a deep breath, “What do you not have control over?” You saw his jaw visibly tense at the question, but that only made you more curious.

“I can’t do this tonight,” Once his vest was off, he was trying to push past you in the small room, but you shuffled to the side to block him. He was not walking away easily this time.

“No, you’re not avoiding me again. Harry, be an adult, would you?”

“You’re the one that’s blockin’ the doorway like a child so I can’t leave.”

“Well, if you just explained yourself maybe I would usher you to the exit myself,” You crossed your arms stubbornly over your chest. Harry hated that his eyes were attracted to your pushed-up breasts, practically calling out to him. This was his breaking point. This is exactly what he knew would happen. He knew you would ask him a million questions until you found your in-depth answer. He let one admission slip and suddenly he was being bombarded with questions that even he didn’t have the answers to. He was afraid he’d say the wrong thing, and then everything between you would be ruined.

Maybe he would just quit and become a full-time pornstar.

“Why do you stay an extra hour every night to help me close? Because I know you’re not getting paid for it.”

“Maybe I just like helpin’ out.”

“You only do it with me, don’t you? And now you’re avoiding me–”

“Fuck, ‘cause I’m drawn to you, Y/N! I can’t help it. I want to spend more time with you than a single shift. I’m selfish. Have you seen yourself? You walk around like you own this damn place and it has everyone fallin’ onto their knees for ya. You should’ve heard what these guys were sayin’ ‘bout you,” he laughs in the depressing, forced kind of way, “and tonight when you came in with your glitter and your makeup and your tits pouring out of your shirt, you made me think and feel things I can’t say out loud. It feels wrong. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you.”

With a frozen body, you were speechless. The silence that surrounded you both was so deafening that you could barely hear your drumming heart beating in your ears. Your mouth was slacked open, your lips formed in a forever “o” shape. Harry’s words were rushed and tense as if he couldn’t quite get them out right, but he couldn’t have explained it better. While you were starstruck by his admission, he brushes past your still body and exits the back room. You don’t even turn around in time because when you do, you don’t hear the click of his footsteps in the lobby but the plush closing of the back door.

–

The next morning was awful. You could barely sleep due to Harry’s words echoing in your head like a wincing ache, so you were dragging yourself out of bed once your alarm rang at 6 am. Your morning routine felt more mundane than usual as your eyes threatened to shut every few seconds.

As you finally trudged to campus, the curious cat in you kept wandering back to thoughts of Harry. You wondered what he was doing right now in the middle of the day. Did he have another job? Was he hanging out with friends? Family? At one point during your friendship, you had assumed he had a girlfriend because how could he not? A handsome bartender with enough charm to swoon both men and women in a filled ballroom surely would be taken. But after his confession last night, you knew Harry was consumed in a different concept. Maybe Harry didn’t like to date. Maybe he just liked being with women (and maybe men) in an intimate way casually without settling. You weren’t like that. You liked commitment and routine and being steady. That’s why it was unbelievably stressful for your car to break down randomly; it interrupted your plans. So maybe that’s why you couldn’t respond to Harry after his acknowledging words last night–you haven’t had time to process the underlying meaning of his words. You also knew deep down that if Harry only wanted you for sex, you would get hurt in the end. You weren’t one for casual sex because you knew you would get attached. That’s why you have remained such self-control around Harry.

Did he feel that way too?

When you got to the doors of your lecture room, your thoughts became misty in your mind. You push open the door to an empty classroom. You blink away the fatigue in your eyes, thinking your deliriousness has you seeing things–or lack thereof. But when you rub them harshly, the room remains peopleless and you wonder just what you missed. You yank your phone from your pants pocket and tap open your email app. And of course, the most recent and unread email is from your professor last night. He mentions that class would be canceled tomorrow due to a family emergency that happened that evening. At that time, you were too busy drowning in your own overthinking to even check your phone the whole night. As a grumble mixed with a sigh leaves your lips, you plod back to your tiny dorm and hope that your roommates aren’t there. You needed to let off some steam. And you knew just how.

–

Out of all the days in the week, Thursday has always been Harry’s day off. He never works on Thursday or hangs out with his friends because they have work, so it’s just a nothing day for him. Some weeks he uses this day to film new content, but after last night’s incident, he can’t think straight. He hasn’t stopped thinking of you and your lack of words from his admission. And it’s killing him. He wishes you would have said something, anything, rather than just standing still with your mouth wide enough to slip his cock through. His mind keeps coming up with randomized scenarios of what-ifs and it’s enough to make him go mad.

And then there’s the dirty, animalistic part of him that cannot forget how good you looked with your barely buttoned shirt and your wild lipstick. He wanted to kiss you until you were both covered in the red paint. He wanted to tear your uniform so roughly that the buttons would break off completely and you’d never be able to wear that excuse for a shirt again. He wanted to corner you in the back room and show you how much he wanted you and how much he hated avoiding you. But he needed to. For his sake and yours.

Instead of filming one of his requested videos, he just scrolls through the website. Harry doesn’t feel guilty about it because he keeps telling himself that today is his day off and he deserves to take a break. But even with those reminders his brain is running a million miles an hour, chasing you and the what-ifs that lingered on your tongue last night. Even when he tried his very best, he couldn’t stop thinking about you in his subconscious. So as he deepened his search throughout the site, he didn’t even comprehend that he was looking for someone that resembled you.

He seeked various videos until he found an account that drew him in, similarly to how you do on a daily basis. With curiosity, he clicks on the profile before him, reading and watching bits and pieces before indulging. The username was babyh0ney and that alone caught his eye. The girl didn’t say much about herself on her profile, but based on the cover of the videos, she looked young. He couldn’t see her face, which he respected, but still decided to click on a video.

Indulging in her top video, Harry watches with an open mind. But he learns it is extremely difficult when he keeps relating things back to you. He swears at one point you mentioned to him that your bed was a light shade of pink, but he could be imagining it. The sight of the woman’s bare chest has Harry’s gaze locked because he swears that’s what yours would look like if he ever saw them. The peek of hair that rests on her shoulders seems to be the same as yours, too. As the woman drags her hand down her body and towards her panties, Harry starts to feel dizzy with arousal. No one has been able to turn him on as much as you since you’ve been working with him, so the fact that his woman is able to do just that surprises him. He takes the opportunity without questioning and immediately starts palming himself over his loose shorts.

The woman continues to tease herself by rubbing her delicate fingers over her red panties–of course they’re red, Harry thinks. Only the most seductive color. Temptingly, she nudges the tip of her finger into the lace, teasing the audience with her edging. But that draws Harry’s eyes more than he thought. Removing his hand from his throbbing cock, he pauses the video when the woman’s hands are in full view. He zooms in and recognizes the color of the woman’s nails; white and yellow. But not just any woman now, no.

It was you. Harry was sure of it.

As if Harry thought he was dizzy before, he was fully nauseous with shock and arousal now. His eyes can barely believe the sight before him, consuming the video as if it will flash away any second. He rips off his shorts quickly and has his bare cock in his hand in mere seconds. Milliseconds even. His tip was viciously leaking, the slit pulsing and pink. After what felt like ages you finally, slowly and cautiously, remove your underwear. You spread your legs wide enough so Harry (and the audience) can see your fluttering cunt, naked and needy.

God, Harry doesn’t think he’s ever been so turned on in his life. Is it possible to die from a neverending erection?

“Fuck,” You moaned through Harry’s laptop as your painted fingers rubbed generous circles over your throbbing clit. The one word and Harry’s hand was gliding speedily over his cock, wasting no time in the world. Usually, Harry likes to take his time and even tease himself a bit, but with the sight of your gorgeous body straight in front of his greedy eyes, he couldn’t tear away. He couldn’t halt the dangerously quick movement of his hand going up and down on his shaft, chasing a high he’s wanted to for so long. Just as you slip a finger into your cunt, Harry spurts out his selfish orgasm, ropes of white splattering over his tattooed stomach. He barely comprehended calling out your name as he came, and even though it was heedless, he doesn’t regret it. That was one of the most relieving finishes he’s ever had, yet it still felt incomplete somehow, like there was something missing.

He knew deep down inside that he would never truly be sedated until you were physically with him, but he knew that wouldn’t happen. At least any time soon. So for now, this was the best he was going to get.

But that didn’t stop him from going through your account. Harry watched two more videos–without touching himself surprisingly–before he got the courage to message you. His cock was plump and insatiable, wetness dribbling at his tip. He shakily clicked on your profile’s messaging box before asking for a request. He doesn’t second-guess himself because he knows he would never send it if he did that. So with lust as his guide, he hits send.

DaylightDaddy [verified]: Hi I just saw some of your videos and I was impressed.

Impressed? That’s what he calls the incessant throb of his dick? Why did he start off like that?

Harry knows that he has more of a page than some small influencers on this site, including you. He hopes that you’ll be more inclined to respond because he’s verified. But he then realized that you might not even be online to see it. He knows that you don’t work today, but it is the middle of the day and you’re probably doing something much more important than–

babyh0ney: really? thank you so much. i’m a fan of your work myself…

Harry felt his heart beating wildly in his chest. You were a fan of him? You watched his videos? Did you know it was him like he knew it was you?

DaylightDaddy [verified]: Really?

babyh0ney: yes

babyh0ney: i wish i could attract the people like you do

DaylightDaddy [verified]: I’d be happy to help

What was he suggesting? Harry didn’t even know what he was typing. His fingers were moving faster than his logic.

babyh0ney: how do i become more attractive?

Harry nearly laughs at that. You were one of the more alluring people he’s ever seen or met, including all the celebrities he’s watched in movies. You were different. The best kind of different.

With the protection of his own screen and the chance you don’t know who you’re actually talking to, Harry responds with confidence.

DaylightDaddy [verified]: Honey, you’re one of the most attractive women on here

Your heart skips an unexpected beat from the words on the screen. You weren’t naive. It was obvious this man was flirting with you, but why? To ask for a request for free? To do a collaboration? There is no way this man, a verified star with devilish talent and tattoos galore, would want to do a video with you. In a strange way, you were extremely attracted to him. You weren’t lying when you said you had been a fan of him. In the back of your mind and deep in your soul he resembled Harry in the slightest, mainly from the placement of his tattoos. Some tattoos looked just like Harry’s, but you refused to stare long enough to fantasize.

Unsure of how to reply, you deflect.

babyh0ney: thank you…but have you seen the women on here?

DaylightDaddy [verified]: Yes, that’s how I know I’m right

A heated rush flows through your skin and bundles in your cheeks. You never realized how touch-starved, horny, and lonely you were until some random guy on the internet made you blush. What has the world become?

babyh0ney: but you haven’t even seen my face

Without even trying, you confirmed Harry’s assumption. There was no way you knew it was him you were messaging. Should he spill the beans and admit that he’s seen your face? Or should he play it cool? Well, one is going to make him sound like a stalker, so he might want to go with the ladder.

DaylightDaddy [verified]: I don’t need to. I just know

babyh0ney: why are you really texting me? it doesn’t seem like you want a request…

It was so like you; to ask a serious question when Harry was trying to flirt. You always have to know every little detail. Harry had a love-hate relationship with the fact.

Suddenly, like a lightbulb over his head, Harry had an idea. Something that would benefit both of you, and something that might make Harry feel a little less selfish.

DaylightDaddy [verified]: I do

DaylightDaddy [verified]: But you said you wanted to appear more attractive and I can help

DaylightDaddy [verified]: So what is your favorite thing to do?

You blink at the screen before you. No one’s ever asked what you liked before. It’s always what they want, and if it was something that you refused to do then they just left the conversation. Simple as that. But this person was different. Maybe it was because he was in the industry himself and he knows what it’s like to receive random requests. Whatever his reason for it, you were slightly more confident.

babyh0ney: well i like to use my toys in my requests so the videos aren’t as long

DaylightDaddy [verified]: Favorite toy?

babyh0ney: my bullet because it makes me come fast

babyh0ney: but i haven’t used it in a video yet

Harry could barely type. The swelling of his cock was overwhelming. He couldn’t stop imagining you on your light pink bed sheets, all spread out and wide, with a small, vibrating bullet lodged into your sopping cunt. He roughly palms down on his bulge to ease the immense ache.

Before Harry even had the chance to respond, you sent another message.

babyh0ney: i sent you a video if you want

babyh0ney: and you could give me some advice?

Harry’s inkling of a plan seemed to be setting into motion, and he didn’t even have to roll the ball much. He’s glad that you’re the one suggesting the video more than he is because it proves that you want it. Maybe not as much as he does, but the desire is there. He feels that familiar tug of attraction between you both, and he wonders if that feeling is traveling through the technology.

DaylightDaddy [verified]: Perfect. Just do exactly what you do.

DaylightDaddy [verified]: Let me send you the money first

babyh0ney: but you’re helping me

DaylightDaddy [verified]: Honey, you know I got the money

DaylightDaddy [verified]: I asked for a request

babyh0ney: but this is different

You’re still not going to take his money? Are you just universally stubborn?

DaylightDaddy [verified]: Why are you so stubborn?

Harry doesn’t realize it until after he sent it that that message may sound a bit personal. How is he to know how stubborn you are if he didn’t actually know you as a person?

babyh0ney: you don’t even know me

babyh0ney: so i guess i can take your money lol

Harry sends the money with ease and no regret. He has been waiting the past week to be able to send you that money so you can finally get your fucking car fixed. But like he mentioned, you’re just too damn stubborn to accept the money from anyone. But when it’s a stranger that you’ll never talk to again on a porn website, it’s fine…

Harry knows that you won’t receive his money until after you send the video, so he waits impatiently. After a minute, he forces himself to leave the chat. He scrolls down your page, mesmerized by your beauty on the covers. But he’s also a little ashamed. He’s ashamed that he is doing this in order to talk to you because he’s afraid of what you will and won’t say in real life. He’s ashamed that he’s been avoiding you because he feels so strongly about you that it makes his insides nearly explode, but in the greatest way possible. It’s insane for him to admit that to himself, but it’s true.

He likes you.

–

Did you take a risk? Yes. Are you fucking insane for it? Yes with a side of fucking yes.

It’s been a half an hour since you texted DaylightDaddy. But you’re just so fucking nervous for some reason. At first, you tried to use the bullet like you would as if you were recording, but you could not concentrate for the life of you. Your fingers were trembling, your stomach was too tight, and your mind was a wandering catastrophe.

Because of your incessant craziness, you strolled through the man’s account. You should have been focusing on sending him his requested video that he paid for, even though he was supposed to be helping you. You could have at least given him a discount, but you didn’t feel like arguing for once. In that way, he reminded you of Harry.

Harry.

Even throughout the whole interaction with this random stranger, you were still finding subtle ways to relate them back to Harry. Some of the things the guy said seemed like such a Harry thing to say and you hated your mind for always resorting back to him like it was the only thing you knew. Why did he have to invade your mind and why did you want him to stay in it? It was the endless toxic loop that you were trapped in. It’s been one day since you’ve seen Harry, but it feels wrong after last night. Everything feels wrong and empty and unsaid. So much unsaid. You wanted him so badly to admit to you why he was doing what he was doing, and when he did, what did you do? Freeze up and panic? He was being vulnerable, and you just stood still and watched him leave.

A regretful tremble jerks your bottom lip and you feel the urge to cry. Not of sadness but of frustration with yourself. Harry is one of the greatest guys you’ve ever met and of course, you find a way to fuck it up somehow.

And although you want to push away the thoughts completely and focus on this requested video, the mystery man reminds you a lot of Harry. Like scary similar. Those tattoos were burning in your eyes, pulling you to look at them. Breaking some self-control, you watch one video. Just a short one. One where his tattoos are in full view, so your insatiable mind could be greedy and get off to this video of lookalike Harry for your flirty customer.

You fast forward until the man’s hands are on his cock, stroking all its thickness with precise teasing. As your waste of space panties start to get wet, your eyes immediately hook on the tattoos on his hands. A cross right by his thumb. You pause the video where his arm is in full view.

No fucking way.

There is no fucking way that’s Harry. What are the chances? Impossible, that’s what they are. Maybe this man just had the same under his index finger and near his thumb. Maybe he had the same anchor adorning his wrist like a large bracelet. Maybe…

Maybe you need to realize this is fucking Harry. And he found you somehow. Does he know it’s you?

–

With shaky fingers, you finally send the video.

You feel your heart plummet, the few seconds that passed already make you anxious. You had recorded the video, just like you were going to. Except you didn’t do it for DaylightDaddy. No, you did it for Harry.

What if you were wrong? What if it wasn’t Harry?

Is it possible to get sued for talking and moaning another guy’s name to a customer? You might just find out.

babyh0ney: *Video Attachment*

With shaky fingers, he finally presses play.

Harry’s head is dizzy with lust and his body is flooded with arousal. He watches intently as your body comes into view, nothing but panties on. Your camera is angled directly between your legs, so he can only see the underside of your breasts.

With lust bubbling in his eyes, Harry locks on your every move. Your hand massages all over your skin, exploring like Harry would die to do. Your nail polished fingers skim over the black laced panties, teasing your hidden opening. Harry is all for teasing and edging, but this is the most difficult thing he’s ever done. It’s physically and mentally hard to not orgasm on the spot. He will come when you come.

His hand drifts gently over to his own cock, which has greedily come once to your videos. When you go slow, he goes slow, so every minor and delicate movement you make, he replicates and it’s killing him. Finally, after what felt like a decade of torture, you shred your panties off slowly but surely.

Harry’s breath gets caught in his throat at the sight. He had already seen what your body looks like, but it was different knowing this video was just for him. Well, DaylightDaddy. The feeling in him was something primal. He loved knowing that this–all of you–was just for him. He wanted that all the time. He wanted you.

While Harry is copying your motions and lost in his own admissions, he barely notices you grabbing the small pink bullet and turning it on. You gently collect some of your wetness that was leaking out and cover the vibrator. Harry groans to himself at the lewd sight before him; he never imagined you would be such a dirty girl, but he never does know with you.

As you insert the bullet, a loud, breathless moan rolls out from your tongue. He’s mesmerized as your cunt clenches tightly around the object, body consuming the intense feeling. Based on your trembling body and echoing moans, you were going to come soon too. Your sounds were spurring him on, making his hand fly brisker up and down his shaft until his release was near. He didn’t want to close his eyes, but if he imagined your noises good enough, he could translate them as moans of his name.

“Harry…”

Yeah, that sounded like a dream. Like heaven coming from your pouty lips that he thinks about kissing way more than he should.

“Fuck, Harry.”

It almost sounds real. That’s how he knows he’s consumed in you too much for his own good.

“I wish you were here with me…touching me.”

Wait.

When he opens his eyes, you are still on his screen, moaning and falling apart in front of him just like before. But when he replayed the video a few seconds back, you really were saying those things. You were outright moaning his name, chanting it like a fucking mantra, while holding your legs wide open. It was a fever dream, a wet dream. You were lying on your bed with your cunt bare and soaked, whimpering his name and wishing he was there with you.

Losing all form of restraint, Harry fists his cock like never before. His thumb teases his leaking tip for a moment before jacking off with no regret. He feels his balls quickly tense, just like all the muscles in his body at the sight and sound of you.

Your dainty hand floats down to your throbbing clit, rubbing in tight circles in order to get to your high. The arch in your back becomes more prominent and your moans transform into airy gasps when the vibrations become nearly too much.

“I’m gonna come, H. Let me come.”

“Fuck. Let it go. Let it all go, Honey,” he didn’t even think about the words that were leaving his lips. The small nickname was cute. It matched your profile and the sweetness of all you were. You were talking to him as if he would say something back, so he did. He responded as if you were going to listen to him, and he didn’t know if you would, but you did.

Cum spurted from his cock intensely, splattering onto his breathless body and decorating his tattoos. He peeks at his computer screen and watches your orgasm spill out of you heavenly around the bullet. With big breaths, you eventually reach over to your phone and cut the recording, still hiding your face. Stunned to completion, Harry mindlessly reaches over to his nightstand to wipe himself down.

Somehow, some way, you knew it was him. He knew it was you. Harry had a feeling that you knew he knew it was you. So, with some sudden clarity, Harry finally messages you back.

DaylightDaddy [verified]: What are you doing to me?

—

i decide to leave for months, drop this chunk of writing, and leave y’all on a cliffhanger… sorry not sorry!! :D

part two

taglist:

@likeapplejuicenpeach @bisexual-desi @littlenatilda @crybabyddl @tiaamberxx @alwaysclassyeagle @whoreonmondays @armystay89

[hsdiaries]

The Secret Spot

5.1k words

Golfrry, quick escalation, shy Harry into vocal Harry, oral m recieving, p in v, quickie situation.

I didn’t edit this at all, just written in a whim lol.

“Cassie! You’ve been assigned to a party today!” Martin called out as he walked through the locker room handing everyone their assignment slips. I brushed my hair up into a ponytail high on my head so I could slip my visor on.

“Is it a big one?” I said, pulling out my white apron and tying it around my waist, slipping in my small order pad and favorite green pen with the small golf ball topper. It was always a conversation started with the club members; and conversations always led to good tips.

“It's a small three person party, I heard it's a big name, haven’t confirmed who yet - you'll have to pick up your slip at the front desk. It's a bit hush hush.” He shrugged and I nodded, making sure my shoes were tied properly as my friend Kyle came up to me.

“Hush hush, huh? I hope for your sake he’s hot,” He smirked, pushing all his weight onto his left hip. Whoever thought it was a good idea to let Kyle interact with the older men at the golf club had no idea how many sugar daddies he would end up by his second week on the job.

“Kyle, sweetie, I don’t need them to be good looking to get good tips, I just need them to have heavy pockets,” I said standing up straight and slamming my locker shut. Pushing him out of the way gently with my shoulder I made my way out of the room heading out to the front desk.

“Be a good whore!” I heard him call out, making me shake my head and laugh. The lunch time crowd was beginning to flow in quickly; lunch time was the prime time to have a shift, people hardly ever wanted to let go of these shifts for that reason. Small waves were thrown my way from the usual crowd, I made sure to make note of my usuals, sending them extra greetings especially since I wouldn’t be assisting them today. As I approached the front desk, Cedric, the club manager spotted me, perking up instantly.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite little waitress,” he smiled, eyes back on the computer screen in front of him.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite little boss. I heard I have a part assigned today?” Leaning on the front desk, I reached over the counter, grabbing a mint packaged in the signature green of the Ocean Wells Country Club, earning me a soft smack on the hand. I pulled the mint to my chest, quickly opening it and popping it in my mouth, Cedric rolling his eyes.

“Yes actually, and I’m sure you will thank me for it. I had to pick wisely and my soul told me you would be the only one to not act like a crazed fan girl when I told you who you would be serving today,” I watched as the small slip printer started printing out our usual assignment slips, he quickly ripped it off the machine and slid it across the front desk to me.

Raising an eyebrow, I slowly picked up the slip and looked it over, my eyes widening at the sight of the names on the slip.

Niall Horan

Harry Styles

Mitch Rowland

I looked up at him, jaw slightly dropped, “You’re fucking joking right?”

“Nope, not a joke at all. As a matter of fact, they are walking in at this very second,” he smiled, pointing his chin in the direction of the front door. My body seemed to turn quicker than my head, but once it followed, my eyes were instantly drawn to Harry. He was wearing a navy sweater over a slightly brighter blue dress shirt, matching slacks and brown golf shoes. He has recently cut his hair, a frenzy in the media, but it had grown out to perfection, short on the sides, a swoop of curls wanting to remake their appearance on the front. His face was perfectly layered with growing facial hair, it made him look so mature and well cultured. He looked like money, and well, he was. It wasn’t until they were almost in front of me that I noticed the three of them had made their way to the front desk - and that I had been staring like a gawky girl in love.

I quickly cleared my throat and turned to face Cedric who chuckled a bit as I made myself busy organizing the business cards on the desk, chewing on the mint in my mouth. I felt their presence next to me soon after, Niall standing the closest to me, Harry doing most of the speaking for the party.

“Hello, we had reservations under Styles?” He said kindly, his voice so soft spoken and kind. I didn’t expect anything less if I was being honest.

“Yes, Mr. Styles, Mr. Horan and Mr. Rowland, we are all ready for you. You have been assigned to start on the left, two golf carts have been assigned, one for you and one for your caddies. Your personal waitress, Cassie here, will also have her own cart to bring drinks, cigars, food and any other desired items here at the club,” Cedric spoke, his hand gesturing over to me, causing all three men to turn their eyes to me. Each smiled, making eye contact, but only Harry’s lingered just a moment longer than the rest.

“Nice to meet you all, I’m here for whatever you may need, even making sure that the other isn't cheating,” I smirked, making them chuckle a bit.

“She's a club favorite, you’ll enjoy her ever present company,” Cedric said in a slightly condescending tone.

“I’m sure her services will be appreciated,” Niall said, clearly noticing Cedric's tone.

“Very well then, here are your keys, golf clubs should already be loaded, enjoy your time here at Ocean Wells Country Club.”

I nodded at Cedric, turning to the front door and holding my arm out to let the gentleman know they could carry on ahead of me before I began walking slightly behind them. I noticed Harry’s pace slow a bit more than the others as we made our way over, his attention turning to me for a moment, clearing his throat.

“Would you mind starting us off with some whiskeys, over ice please. We will need lunch reservations at around two, we should be finished with our game by then,” he said, unable to make eye contact fully.

“Might I suggest 2:15 to make room for any delays and travel time back to the cafe?” I said politely, his eyes shifting to meet mind more predominantly. They were a beautiful shade of green, tricking the eyes to think they were blue, crystal clear in certain lights - glimmers of aquamarine.

“You know the place better than I, 2:15 is fine,” he smiled small my head nodding, for some reason my cheeks found themself washed over with a flush of pink.

We exited out into the warm summer sun, a sigh instantly leaving me, eyes closed as my face moved to look up into the sun, taking in its heat. Summertime was my favorite time of the year, it’s when I thrived most, when I felt most alive. Bringing my face down, I opened my eyes to find Harry already looking at me, quickly looking away when he noticed my eye contact.

We all stepped into our individual golf carts, they drove off to their first hole as I drove to the cafe to pick up their first round of drinks. I placed the order, waiting until they were brought out, throwing in some complimentary pretzels and beer cheese to start them off right. I carefully loaded everything into the cart, driving my way over to where they were. By the time I had made my way over, they were on the second hole, Niall currently lining up his shot before swinging effortlessly, the ball landing right next to the hole but not quite making it in.

I watched as he handed Harry a twenty dollar bill, Mitch and Harry laughing at how upset Niall looked. I pulled up behind their carts, Harry’s attention quickly moving over to me. He walked over as Mitch chose his golf club for his turn, reaching for the tray of drinks as I moved out of the cart.

“Oh you don’t have to do that, I got it,” I smiled, both our grips steady in the tray.

“Truly, I got it,” he smiled, his hand brushing my hand away. I felt my breath get caught in my throat as I swallowed, turning back to grab the tray with the pretzels and cheese.

I faced him, smiling shyly, “I figured you all would do well with some post game fuel? No one has ever hated our pretzel and beer cheese. It’s a club favorite,” I smiled, his eyes took in the food as Niall and Mitch made their way over to us.

“What’s all this?” Niall smiled, Harry’s eyes staying on me as he spoke.

“Cassie brought us a club favorite apparently,” he finally broke his eye contact, handing a drink to each of the boys as I nodded.

“I could drink the beer cheese if it wasn’t frowned upon,” I shrugged as Mitch reached over, ripping off a piece and dipping it in the cheese. He took a bite, eyebrows raising, nodding as he pointed to the tray with the remaining piece in his hand.

“Holy shit, let the stuck up pricks stare at us cause I’ll down it with you in a second,” he exclaimed making the rest of us laugh.

Niall and Harry took a piece each, copying Mitch in every single aspect, quickly praising me for my choice in game starting fuel. For the next few moments they stood around me, eating and drinking to their satisfaction before agreeing to move onto the next hole before anyone else began the same course, though I of course knew that wouldn’t happen. They were elite guests, no one would be assigned to this side of the club until two hours in so they would take all the time they wanted.

I loaded the empty glasses and trays into the back of my golf cart, hearing Harry yell out as my eyes caught Niall and Mitch driving off without him, middle fingers in clear sight, “Fuckers!”

Covering my mouth, I bit back my chuckle, shaking my head, “Need a ride?” I called out, his body shifting to face me, an eye roll following.

“I swear they know how to act proper,” he shook his head, shy dimples imprinting on his cheeks.

“Proper isn’t exactly my style, so, eh,” I chuckled, getting in my cart and patting the seat next to me. He walked over, getting in, hands wiping down his thighs. I took in his actions, my eyes taking in his face with a soft smile, before facing forward and starting up the cart.

“So how long have you been doing this for?” He asked softly, facing forward.

“Umm? Three years? Trying to make enough money to pay for college. The goal is to finally start this coming spring, but we shall see,” I shrugged, glancing over at him. He turned to me for a moment before we both looked forward again.

“What are you wanting to study?” He continued the conversation, his voice a bit stronger than before, almost as if he was slowly getting more comfortable.

“Social work, work with youth in the foster system. I want to be able to help people in a way I wished someone helped me when I was in foster homes,” I swallowed, my grip tightening slightly on the wheel as I drove. I could see Niall and Mitch in the close distance.

“That sounds like a beautiful full circle moment?” He said, questioning if that’s what it really was to me.

“Uh…sort of? I guess. I mean, you’re not the first person to tell me that, but I’m not exactly sure if I see it in that light. Just because, I don’t know if it’ll give me the healing most people think it will,” I said as I parked behind the other carts. We both turned to face each other and he nodded slightly.

“Mm, that’s understood. Your trauma isn’t healed just because you helped others avoid the same,” he said softly, a smile pushing into my left cheek.

“Exactly,” I breathed out, his lips rolling into his mouth. I couldn’t help but linger there, linger on the plumpness, the perfect rosey pink, the perfect Cupid’s bow. I shifted in my seat, “Um, shall I get you all some iced tea? Or water? Second round?”

He cleared his throat, moving to exit the cart, “Um, water and another round please, thank you.”

I watched as he moved towards his friends without another word and I drove back to the cafe to pick up their next round.

HARRY'S POV

I walked towards Niall and Mitch, willing myself to not turn back towards Cassie. Since laying my eyes on her upon arrival, something struck my heart in a way I hadn’t been struck in a while. She radiated electricity, not warmth, not light, electricity. She seemed to shock my entire system by just standing there. It didn’t help that I was aware it wasn’t just my eyes lingering for too long - hers on my lips just now shocking my soul.

Running my fingers through my hair, I approached Niall and Mitch, Niall’s hand slapping Mitch’s chest, “Told you!”

“Told him what?” I said, raising an eyebrow, walking over to my caddy and picking out my next club.

“You’re already smitten, been smitten since we walked in,” Niall said, my eyes narrowing in his direction.

“What the fuck are you going on about? I’m just being polite, she’s treating us well,” I said, picking my club and walking over to prep my swing.

“Full of shit, you both are eye fucking each other any moment you get!” Niall said, my eyes rolling and Mitch just laughed.

“He kinda has a point,” he said, standing next to Niall, arms crossed in front of his body.

“You both are idiots,” I said, turning back to the ball, pulling back and taking my first swing. It was such a lousy swing, the back of my hand meeting my forehead. They were wrong, it was obvious they weren’t, but I didn’t want this to be just another damn hook up situation. She seemed like a good person who didn’t deserve that, even if she didn’t mind it.

“That swing shows me that we aren’t,” Mitch teased, and I shook my head.

“Look, she’s beautiful, there is no damn denying that, but I’m not letting it get to my head, alright? Let’s just play the damn game.” I pushed past them, switching clubs so we could just continue playing.

We finished up the hole and moved onto the next when Cassie finally joined us again. She brought over our drinks and water, making conversation with Niall. I tried to avoid her this time around, watching her from a distance. At least this way I could take her in, and not deal with the teasing from my mates.

She was so animated when she talked, often twirling her long brown hair as she spoke, the white uniform, trimmed with green making her tan skin pop against it. She smelled like an apricot, something I noticed on the drive to the previous hole with her. Sweet, fresh, something I would gladly bite into. I shook the thought from my head, bringing my hands behind my head, linking my fingers together. I closed my eyes, inhaling the summer dry air, it was my favorite season to bask in, just taking in the sun, letting it warm my skin.

“Seems like they left you again,” I heard Cassie’s voice next to me, my left eye opening to peek over at her.

“I feel like it’s going to be a thing for the rest of the game,” I let my arms drop down next to me, a small giggle coming from her.

“Well, it’s okay, you have the best golf cart in the entire club to save you,” she winked playfully.

“Thank goodness for that,” I smirked, as she shrugged, walking backwards to the cart before turning around completely. I followed like a lost puppy behind her, watching her full hips swing from side to side as she walked away from me. I licked my lips, biting down on my lower lip, walking around the cart as I reached it, getting in.

“So, are you enjoying your break from work?” She asked, her eyes shifting towards me, and I let mine meet hers instantly.

“Yeah actually, nice to not have to be moving constantly unless it is my choice to do so. I like that I can just settle for a bit,” I said, her eyes shifting down to my hand then back in front of her.

“I like settling. Just knowing somewhere is home. Moving around so much when I was younger, it made me crave stability, you know?” She said, and I nodded.

“It’s like, rooting your feet somewhere long enough to actually make it feel like it’s your home,” I responded, bringing a big smile to her face.

“Exactly, exactly that,” she giggled a bit.

We drove for a bit longer, trying to find the boys at the next hole but they were nowhere to be seen. She came to a complete stop, pulling out her phone, “Maybe I went the wrong way? But I doubt it, I know these pathways like the back of my hand.”

I rolled my eyes, tossing my head back knowing exactly what they were doing, “I’m sure it’s not you. I have a feeling those assholes are long gone right now.”

“Oh..,um, I can head back if you want? You don’t have your clubs so…” she suggested, her face glancing over her shoulder then back at me.

Staying quiet for a moment, I took in the situation, analyzing the possibilities and that one that stood out the clearest was - I didn’t want to leave her just yet. I brought my hand to my lower lip, pinching it softly as I turned to face her, “You know this place like that back of your hand right?”

“Basically.”

“You have a place you like to hide out, that no one knows about?” I said, her eyes narrowing a bit, before a slightly devilish smile appeared on her face.

“I do actually,” she said, putting the cart into drive without another word.

“Going to show me?” I said, and she nodded.

“An adventure on company time? Why not.” She giggled, making me laugh with her.

We drove for a good five minutes, the golf cart cutting through different courses, avoiding people’s games and paths. We reached what seemed to be a back corner, a giant tree settling into the corner. It’s long thick trunks and branches seemed to bend, creating perfect nooks to rest in the shadow away from the sun. She park just to the side of it, turning off the cart, holding her hands out.

“Voila!! My secret spot,” she smiled, getting off and walking over to the tree. I watched her climb on top of it, effortlessly finding her perfect spot, settling into the curve that seemed shaped perfectly for her.

“How many people actually know about this?” I said, walking over, trying to pick the perfect place for me to climb up and settle.

“Just my friend Kenny, but he wouldn’t know how to actually get here. Just knows it exist….so like please don’t kill me or anything cause then I’ll never be found.” She pointed at me, making me laugh as I found my spot directly in front of her, our legs extending out next to each other.

“I won’t, I promise, I wouldn't know how to get back without you,” I said, sitting up for a moment to slip on my sweater before settling back. Unbuttoning the sleeves on my dress shirt, I rolled them up to my elbows, finally relaxing.

“Did the tattoos have stories?” Cassie said.

“Some. Others were just crazy ideas, things I thought would fit the bare spaces. A couple friends have chosen,” I smiled over at her.

“So if I said to get a turtle near your palm tree you would do it?” She asked, my head tilting slightly knowing my palm tree wasn’t currently exposed.

“And how do you know about that?” I crossed my arms in front of my chest, both eyebrows raised at her. I watched her eyes widen, reds and pinks covering her sweet cheeks.

“Oh….I just…um, Niall he uh —…”

Bursting into laughter, I cut her off, shaking my head, “Cassie, I’m aware some people know more about me than I may know, I’m just twisting your arm.”

I kicked her legs softly with my foot, her eyes narrowing and returning the same gesture. For the next moments, we just sat in silence, taking in the small noises of the golf course, the bits of wind on the tree leaves. Every now and then we would ask one another questions about our personal life. I had no problem opening up to her and her with me, letting her tell me about the things that seemed to just magically pop into her mind.

As we sat, our bodies also seemed to scoot further down, feet and legs sharing soft touch against one another, knees rubbing gently against her thigh, her fingers also moving to dance around my calf. I let my own do the same, small chills forming on her bare legs. We stayed this way until she let me know we needed to head back soon, the time we were meant to be out on the course was almost over, and she would have to finish the rest of her shift.

I nodded in agreement as we both moved to begin our climb down. I made my way first, extending my arms out towards her to help her lower herself the rest of the way down, her perfect self landing perfectly in front of me. Her eyes locked on mine, tongue licking over her lips, breath heavy from our proximity.

“How much longer did you say we have?” I said softly, my hand moving to push her hair behind her ear.

“I didn’t specify,” she said, her voice shaky, my head nodding as I bravely closed the distance between us and kissed her. It’s what I wanted, and though her movements were hesitant at first, her eagerness in kissing me back let me know she wanted it too.

I wrapped my hand around the nape of her neck, gripping at it, pushing her closer to me, her mouth opening up and letting my tongue meet hers. I ran it across the roof of her mouth, pulling away as my teeth pulled her lower lip with them. She shuddered softly, a soft moan escaping her pretty pink lips.

“And to think I thought you were shy,” she whispered, hands trailing down to my hips, fingers tapping softly against them.

“Mmm, being shy doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want, and what excites me,” I quipped back, earning me a small raised brow.

“And what do you want?” She pushed up on her toes, kissing nose as her hands began pulling my dress shirt out of my pants.

I inhaled sharply through my nose, fire growing in my stomach, blood beginning to rush to my prick, “Fuck sake, you really wanna know?”

She nodded, undoing my belt buckle and pants, working the zipper down as her hand slipped into the band of my brief without question.

“You. You on top of me in that golf cart. Fucking me until you can’t anymore,” I groaned as her hand wrapped around my length, freeing me from the restriction of my clothes, pumping up and down my length.

“Mmm, get in the cart, Harry,” she said, releasing her hold on me, pushing me back. I watched as she began stripping free of her clothes, and I did the same as we walked over to the cart, sliding into the back seat. She climbed into the space next to me, bending her body over to take me in her hand, pumping up and down my shift before slipping me in her mouth. Her tongue rounded around my tip, teasing along my slit making my abs contort, my legs shooting up slightly, body tensing at the feeling.

She chuckled, the vibrations adding to an additional sensation around my cock, as she pushed her mouth further down me, bobbing up and down until she took me completely, nose meeting my happy trail. I felt her swallow me further down her throat, my hand instinctively wrapping around her ponytail, holding her there as my hips bucked forward.

She pushed against my hold, pop off me with a gasp of air, her spit covering my cock, her hand replacing where her mouth was as she wiped her mouth with the other. She moved closer to me, kissing me deeply, my hand curling around her jaw, not able to get enough of her, of her taste.

Of her sweet apricot scent.

My hand moved down to her hip, gripping at it and directing her over my body, her legs straddling my hips, her hands both moving to my shoulders. I pushed her wet center onto my shaft, guiding her hips up and down it, her slick and spit creating enough lubrication to guide her movements further.

“Oh fuck,” she gasped, her hips rocking back and forth on me, her thighs clenching as she did, “Mm, I need you.”

She moaned, her eyes moving to mine, pants falling from her lips as her movements grew incredibly sloppy, her face was so flushed, nails digging into my shoulders.

“Yeah? Where do you need me? Huh? Tell me where,” I pressed into her lips, her moans growing more frequent, lips pressing an open kiss into my chin as I felt her come on me, arousal coating my cock thickly.

Her body trembled, her teeth biting at my chin, my hand moving up to her face, gripping under her jawline tightly, “Hmm, you need more than that?”

She nodded, “Please.” She basically begged.

“Mm? What more do you want, huh? Tell me Cassie,” I groaned at the thought of her saying she needed me inside her, at what that would feel like.

“Fill me up, please. God, Harry, please,” she breathed, pushing body up, gripping at my cock, bringing it up to meet her wet cunt, rubbing the tip against it before slipping herself down on me. It was a slow moment of taking me inch by inch, each moment further down met by the tight squeeze of her walls. She finally took the last bit of me in, each of us groaning out in pure ecstasy, before she began to lift her hips again, bouncing up and down on me effortlessly. Her perfectly round tits were in front of me, bouncy with her, begging to be in my mouth, my hands wrapping around them and bringing them to my lips. My tongue flicked at her nipples, pulling at them between my teeth, her moans escalating just like her pace on my cock.

“Fuck you do that so good, that wet cunt is so good,” I groaned into her tits, biting at the plump fleshy skin, kneading it with my hands. I slipped on arm around her waist, pumping my hard cock up into her, matching her pace.

“Oh, yes, Harry, just like that. Fuck just like that….god,” she moaned, her hands pulling my face to hers, kissing me deeply, our tongue sloppily running against each others. I slipped my fingers between us, rubbing her clit as I continued to pump in and out of her, her movements hardly existent, her legs trembling, her head knocked back in pleasure.

I could feel her tight cunt fluttering around me, pulling me deeper into it, her arousal already soaking down my thighs and hers. I wanted to taste every bit of it, I wanted it to coat me completely, make me filthy in it.

“You wanna come for me, Cassie? Come all over my hard cock, sweet girl? Hmm? Cock so hard for you, wants to fill you up. Can I do that? Can I fill up that wet cunt? Watch you squeeze me out after? Yeah?” I whispered into her neck, kissing along it up to her ear.

“Oh yes, Harry, fu-fuck, yes, yes, fill me up, oh…Ha-Harry I’m going to…I’m..” she gasped, her walls clenching around me, her hips pushing forward, legs clenching around me tighter, “Oh fuck, yes.”

She breathed out in relief, a moan so damn sexy I could have came at the very sound of it. I kept bucking my hips up into her, letting her ride out her high on my hard cock, taking in the way her body and face reacted to the feeling, only turning me on more. Both my hands gripped at her hips, fucking into her harder and quicker until I came, my hips bucking up and holding place their, shooting warm ropes into her fluttering walls.

We both came down from out high, her face nuzzled into my neck, my hips final relaxing and lowering back down, bring her carefully with me.

“Cassie baby, do something for me?” I whispered, a tired nod coming from her. She carefully sat up, eyes locking with mine.

“Pull off me sweet girl, squeeze out my come for me, let me see it drip out of you? Yeah?” I breathed out and she nodded, lazily doing as I instructed. She pulled off of me, both of us groaning. My eyes locked into her sweet cunt, watching her squeeze my come out of her, “Fuck, yes.”

She smirked tiredly, reaching down and covering her fingers in it, bringing it to her lips, licking them clean slowly. I met the other side of them, helping her, until she pulled them away so we were sharing the mix of our arousals on our lips.

Pulling away, she sighed, pushing her forehead on mine, “Mmm, I’ve never christened my secret spot before. Must be my lucky day.”

I chuckled, pressing one more kiss onto her lips, “We can do it again tomorrow. I have time. Find other places in this club to christen.”

“Mm? Sounds like a challenge.”

“I never liked when things came easy anyways.”

[butdaddyilovehim-hs]

Spells of Fate

Summary: Y/N keeps having mysterious dizzy spells and Harry can't help but be increasingly worried

Based on this ask :)

Warnings: fluff, protective H

Word Count: 1.2k

The first time it happens, it catches Y/N off guard.

“H… babe can you slow down? I just need a minute.” Y/N breathes heavily, steading herself on a nearby bench as Harry quickly jogs back to her. 

“Love, you alright? You’re looking pretty pale.” He presses a cool palm against her forehead and notes how clammy she is, despite only having been jogging for a few minutes. 

“I don’t… I’m just feeling really dizzy. I think I need to sit down.”

“Ok, ok, I’ve got you. Have some water; Let’s rest for a bit and then we can start walking home. Good thing we didn’t make it far hey?” He jokes, attempting to pull a smile from his girlfriend. 

“I’m so sorry bubs, I know you wanted to run today. I’ll be ok, go on without me and I’ll meet you at home.” Y/N smiles weakly at him, urging him to keep going. Harry looks at her like she’s grown three heads.

“Not a chance, are you crazy? I’d never leave you, especially when you’re not feeling well. Can I take you to the hospital? Do I need to do something?” 

Y/N almost giggles at the sight of her boyfriend so anxious. He’s running his fingers through his hair, his hands twitching nervously as though he’s itching to do something. 

Come on, up. Do you need me to carry you or are you alright to walk?”

Y/N rolls her eyes at his overprotective nature.

“You really would carry me if I asked wouldn’t you.”

“Absolutely.” 

The second time, Y/N can feel it coming on.

This time she’s able to hide it better. Or so she thinks. 

It’s been a few days since the first incident and Harry’s about to go on stage. She’s laughing and chatting to Sarah when the wave of lightheadedness rushes through her again. Y/N grips onto the couch as subtly as she can, excusing herself quickly to grab some water. She thinks she’s managed to go unnoticed but it’s only a few moments later that Harry is by her side. 

“Y/N, my love. What’s the matter?”

“Harry you have a show to get to.”

“Not important darling, need to make sure you’re ok. You dizzy again?”

Y/N just nods, letting herself sink into Harry’s embrace. 

“I want you to stay back here tonight and look after yourself ok. Don’t come out for the show, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Harry of course I’m coming out for the show. Now you need to go, and I’ll be right behind you. Just need some more water and I’ll be good.”

“Y/N.” Harry looks at her sternly. He’s worried. She knows he is, but Y/N is determined to not let whatever is going on with her ruin his show. 

“Harry. Love. I’m ok. Go on.” She presses a soft kiss to his lips, pushing him gently out the door of the bathroom. He grumbles as he goes, muttering something about how stubborn she is because he “just wants to take care of her.”

The third time is the worst one. 

She’s in the friends and family section, dancing around with Anne, screaming the lyrics to Daylight with Gemma. Y/N doesn’t feel completely better but she’s ignoring it to have fun. Harry is on edge tonight and she can feel it by the way he keeps glancing over to her in concern. 

“I’m fine!” She mouths, offering him a thumbs up. He scans her face for any sign of distress before nodding and blowing a kiss, moving to the other side of the stage. The concert is loud, and Y/N can feel herself getting warmer. 

Harry is doing his speech before Matilda and suddenly there are little dark spots in her vision. She can faintly hear Anne calling her name before everything fades to black and she falls to the ground.

Harry watches her faint from his view on the stage and his heart sinks. He’s about to stop the show and rush into the crowd to check on Y/N, but out of the corner of his eye he sees Jeff organising a stretcher to move her backstage. 

“Stay on stage H. We’ll take care of her I promise. Finish the show.” Harry hears through his earpiece. 

So he does, not wanting to disappoint the fans who’ve travelled so far to watch him play. It’s the longest 25 minutes of his life, finishing Kiwi with a half hearted whale before absolutely legging it backstage.

“Where is she? Where’s my girlfriend? I need to know where she is.” He’s tense and on edge as he searches the rooms backstage, finding Y/N and his mum in a room adjacent to his dressing room. Anne sends a comforting smile to her son before leaving to give the couple some privacy. 

Y/N slowly regains consciousness, her head throbbing and her body aching. She blinks, trying to make sense of her surroundings. It takes a moment for the blurred shapes and colors to sharpen into focus.

"Y/N, you're awake," a comforting voice says, and she turns her head to see Harry sitting beside her, his worried eyes locked onto her.

"What happened?" Y/N croaks, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You fainted during the show," Harry replies, his voice laced with concern. "They brought you back here.”

Y/N tries to sit up but immediately regrets it as dizziness washes over her. Harry gently pushes her back down.

"Easy there, love," he says softly. "We called a doctor. They're on their way.”

Y/N nods weakly, her heart pounding in her chest. She can't believe she let this happen again, especially during one of Harry's concerts.

"I'm so sorry," she murmurs, her eyes filling with tears.

Harry leans closer, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Hey, don't be sorry. This isn't your fault. We'll figure out what's going on.”

As they wait for the doctor, Harry keeps a protective arm around Y/N, soothing her with gentle words and reassuring touches. When the doctor arrives and begins to examine her, Harry never leaves her side.

“Well Miss Y/L/N, the mysterious cause of the fainting spells has been solved. You’re pregnant. Only about 8 weeks along but that would be the cause of the dizziness. Congratulations you two.”

Harry is silent and Y/N takes this as a bad sign. She’s consumed by her own shock but Harry’s reaction has her frightened. 

“Harry,” she starts weakly, “I know this isn’t what we planned and I totally understand if-”

Harry holds her face in her hands cutting her off.

"Darling, we're going to have a baby," he whispers, his voice filled with wonder.

“You… you’re ok with this?”

“Of course I’m ok with this. I mean I didn’t expect it to be this soon but I can’t wait to have a family with you my love. Fuck. I’m going to be a dad.” His voice is filled with excitement and slight nervousness and Y/N’s eyes fill with happy tears. 

Harry can't help but press a loving kiss to Y/N's forehead, his voice filled with affection as he murmurs, "You're going to be an amazing mum.”

Y/N looks up at him with teary eyes, her heart overflowing with love. "And you're going to be the best dad.”

Tags: @lukesaprince @harryspirate @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @lilyrmason12 @styleslover-19944 @stylesfever @kathb59 @indierockgirrll @bxbyysstuff @gills-lounge @lomlhstyles @opheliaofficial07 @stylesmoonlight12 @babyiamperfectforyou @velvetballaspark @macy-tpwk @mema10 @jerseygirlinca @daphnesutton @rafaaoli

[harryssweatcreaturee]

Petals and Promises

you guyssssss, i'm bacckkkkk (((':

a/n: here's something a little sweet and heart warming with soft harry being the sweet little baby he is, i hope this fluff blurb makes you happy. love you guys <3

wc: 1695

warnings: mentions of deceased parent

--

Days like this were Harry’s favorite.

The smell of the fresh rain drizzling down to water the trees, humidity that anyone else might complain about but Harry loved. Sure, it meant sadness for most people but for Harry, it meant growth and serenity. Each raindrop seemed to cleanse the very atmosphere, purifying it from worries and accumulated dust, washing away the problems from moments before the nature’s symphony. The air that was once stifling and heavy, now felt light, crisp, and cool.

He walked from the parking lot to head towards his flower shop. Sidewalk sprinkled with some people like him – under their umbrellas and coats coddling them away from the slight chill the rain invited. 

“Excuse me!” 

Harry kept walking, admittedly a bit distracted with the sound of the pitter patter from the rain hitting the pavement, not realizing the woman behind him was trying to call his attention.

“Sir! Excuse me!” 

This time, Harry turned his head, finding a young woman with her hands wrapped around her body and drenched pointing to his umbrella. 

“Do you mind? Just until I reach the flower shop. I parked too far and forgot my umbrella. Sorry just – it’s cold. Wet, very wet.” She rambled on, an apologetic smile on her face as if she was burdening Harry for wanting momentary shelter from the curtains of rain.

Harry smiled as he moved closer to her, “Don’t mind at all. M’actually headed to the flower shop too. What are you looking for? We have new shipments today and I ordered some new flowers that are in season.”

Harry’s always been so friendly and kind, not leaning into finding any harm in anyone’s intention of speaking to him or approaching him. Maybe it was a bit much for some people but hey, sharing his umbrella with a person and how could he not make conversation when they’re just inches away?

(Y/N) on the other hand, hated the rain. It meant sadness. It meant another day where the skies cried with her over how much she missed her mum. Her best friend. Her confidant. The world seemed to be just as sad as her from how often the skies cried with her – dreadful and muddy as it made every step a battle against the sucking muck.

It didn’t help that she left her umbrella today and she needed those flowers before she went to go visit her mum. But she wouldn’t miss it for the world. No matter the shine, the rain, the wind. She’d sit on that grave as the rain fell in a relentless downpour if she had to. 

To make it worse, she wanted to try this new flower shop and the parking she found felt like it was miles and miles away from her car as the rain trickled down her dry body and making her a proper soaked towel. 

God bless the man that allowed her to hide away from the rain until they reached the shop. He seemed so kind and genuine, giving her a smile that was so graceful – a delicate curve that carried with it elegance and joy. It was sweet and it made (Y/N) feel warm inside unlike the rain’s cold drips that made her body shiver.

“I usually get her a bouquet of sulfur and pink cosmos, if you have any.”

She stayed by the door, cautiously looking around the shop riddled in concentric shelves holding beautiful flowers and arrangements. It smelled so nice, soft yet alive. (Y/N) didn’t want to wet the wood floor any more than she already had, keeping her body at a close distance to the exit door.

Harry noticed and immediately walked over to her with a coat he usually left under the register, handing it to her with a soft smile, “Don’t worry about that. Walk around and look as you please. I’ll mop up after. M’Harry, by the way. Let me know if you need anything.”

She wasn’t sure if he even responded to her as to what flowers she wanted but he seemed busy at work with the yellow and pink puffs she asked for, working on a bouquet behind the counter.

(Y/N) could tell he took care of his flowers. Not a single wilted petal or a dead flower. They looked beautiful and full of life, ready to illuminate any room or bring a smile to anyone’s face. She hoped it did the same to her mum in heaven every time she showed up with her favorite flowers. 

“May I ask who these are for? These are special flowers – beautiful and harmonious. Special person you’re getting them for.” 

A smile perked the commissure of her lips, not realizing that her mother’s favorite flowers meant something so sweet and so in sync with what their relationship was – still is and forever will be.

(Y/N) walked closer to the counter, eyes now focused on his hand cutting the stems at an angle before perfectly arranging them at a height where they bloomed so generously. 

“They’re for my mum. I visit her every Sunday with her favorite flowers, even if the ones from the week before are still perfect and blossoming.” 

He had long, slender fingers. A cross tattoo etched on the back of his palm, a pastel yellow chipping away from his fingernails. It matched him, she thought. Tender and refreshing like the smile he gave her when he allowed her to hide away under his umbrella. 

Harry didn’t need more explanation to understand what the flowers were for. And though his mum was alive and well, thank God, it resonated deep in him because cosmos happened to be his mum’s favorite flower too.

“Cosmos are my mum’s favorite too.”

A soothing silence fell over them as he finished up the bouquet, wrapping the stems with a rubber band, then the brown kraft paper, then the cellophane. 

“This one’s on the house today. I hope you have a good visit with your mum and take my umbrella. The weather won’t get any better until later in the evening.”

His generosity made (Y/N)’s eyes water. He didn’t know her, didn’t know her name, yet his kindness wrapped her up in the warmest, tightest hug of sweetness that squeezed tears out of her. There was sincerity in his kindness that was unmistakable, a genuine desire to help others that radiated from him, and anyone can see that. 

“Thank you.” She croaked out, holding in a sob that she thought would come later when she sat atop her mother’s grave but instead, this sweet stranger was nearly pulling it out of her. 

-

Harry couldn’t seem to get the woman out of his head days after. He could remember seeing her eyes welled up in unshed tears, her lips trembling a sad testament to the emotions churning behind the surface. Harry just wanted to hold her, feeling compelled to promise her that everything will be okay and that one day things will get better.

He hoped she’d come by again this Sunday, maybe talk to her some more and try to make her smile again in any way he could. But luckily, he didn’t have to wait until Sunday.

The last thing he expected was for her to show up in his shop again on this Thursday afternoon, a basket of muffins and his umbrella filling her hands. She looked happier today, sporting that same apologetic smile as she nearly struggled with the door as she stumbled in, a silly little giggle leaving her lips as she tripped on the way to the counter towards Harry.

“This is my proper thank you for your kindness – and your umbrella. You don’t know me, don’t know my name, if I’m a good person, or a bad person. Yet you unhesitatingly treated me with such generosity and-and some sort of empathy that just nearly cured my sadness,” she giggled with a soft sigh following, scooting the basket of muffins closer to him.

“I don’t need to know a person for me to be kind. And besides, I knew in the bottom of my heart that you needed it and it was no problem for me to give you what my heart is full of. Thank you for the muffins, petal.”

(Y/N) huffed out a small laugh, softly shaking her head in disbelief that someone so perfect could exist. Someone so soft and emotionally intelligent, so beautiful and cautious. “You’re unbelievable, y’know that? I’ve never met someone so polite from the second I’ve met them and really, it warms my heart more than I can say. I –“ It was like the woman had a drank a truth serum before she came to see him.

“I left here on Sunday even seeing the rain in a whole different way. I told my mum about you – about the stranger that gave me his umbrella and gifted me flowers because I looked like a sad, wet mess. And I just knew you didn’t do all that out of pity. It means a lot to me.”

Harry could only smile at her. She was so cute, honestly rambling off again about whatever she felt with no filter on her mouth. It was sweet and it made Harry feel good that his kindness meant so much to her. It reminded Harry of the exact reason why he was the way he was. 

“Well, I do hope you come by here often and I promise I’ll always be just as kind and sweet, petal.”

(Y/N) felt her cheeks warming up, her heart racing at that nickname again, finding it even a little funny given that he sold flowers. She wanted a different reason to come by the flower shop, perhaps to see him more often than just Sundays where she’d usually be a mess and crying again. 

Before (Y/N) could respond, Harry disappeared behind the small hallway that led to the back, then returning with a beautiful chocolate cherry sunflower, Harry handing it to her with a hopeful smile.

“Every petal of this flowers will leave with a promise of your return. Come see me again, petal. I’ll be happily waiting to see you.”

[harianaswhore]

⟡ bᵣᵢₜₛ '₂₃ ⟡

NONE OF THESE ARE WRITTEN BY ME

ᵐʸ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ʳᵉᶜˢ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ʰᵃʳʳʸ ʳᵉᶜˢ

love on BRIT awards - @alonetimelover

in this world, it’s just us - @finelinevogue

brit’s surprise - @harrysfolklore

social media au - @meetmymouth

the silk shirt - @sweetsbfreex

special night at the brit’s - @gucciwins

skin care and award shows - @alittletaste

[lovecanyon]

just posted onto patreon! 🤍🖤

DJ!yn & movie star!yn

(more is to come this week…)

[marvelous-harry]

I’d be down for some harry/alex/reader SMUT I already know it’s gonna be delicious

Friday Harry/oc!Alex/Fem!Reader Words: 1.5K Warnings: Sexual content obviously. Choking. Spanking. Spitting.



Hearing the alarm on my phone go off next to my head, I grabbed it quickly and turned it off. I yawned and did a little stretch before I sat up. Glancing over at Alex and Harry, a big smile spread on my face.

We had all arranged to have no work whatsoever this weekend. From this Friday morning until Monday morning, it was just us. It had been far too long since all of us could just be us, truly us.

Getting out of bed quietly, I picked up my t-shirt that was on the floor and slipped it over my head. Walking over to my dresser, I picked up my collar and closed my eyes as I put it on. A shiver ran through my body and I could feel myself getting all worked up already.

I thought about what the collar meant, what it represented. It was an honor to get it and be allowed to wear it.

Smiling softly, I grabbed the padlock and double-checked that the key worked before clipping it on. I put the key on the nightstand before I headed downstairs. Harry preferred coffee in the morning while Alex wanted tea.

Starting the kettle and prepping the moka pot, I grabbed their favorite mugs, grabbed myself a water bottle, and waited for their respective drinks to be done.

Once the coffee was done and the tea was steeping, I put the water bottle between my arm and side before very carefully walking up the stairs. Biting down on my lip, I nudged the door open and put the mugs down on the nightstand.

Taking my t-shirt off, I let it fall down to the floor before I got under the covers. Leaning up on my hands I started leaving little kisses over Alex's chest, moving down for each kiss.

Pulling down the waistband of the briefs he was wearing, I wrapped my fingers around his soft cock and gave the tip a little lick before putting it in my mouth. Closing my eyes, I let my tongue swirl around the head.

Alex shifted under me and I felt his hand stroke my hand, and his cock was swelling quickly now.

Looking up at him as I kept sucking I saw that he was looking back at me. Clasping his hand, I started bobbing my head up and down, taking him deeper in each time. He spread his legs a little more and groaned quietly.

Pulling off him I used my hand to jerk him off while I took a few deep breaths before I went back down until I felt his cock hit the back of my throat. I gagged slightly and moved a little back before trying again.

The mattress shifted slightly as Harry leaned up on one hand and pressed his lips against Alex's as he pulled him in by the neck. Their kiss was deep and loving.

I kept my eyes closed as I focused on the task at hand. Swallowing my spit before I went back to sucking, I felt goosebumps cover me as I felt Harry run his fingers lightly over my back.

Harry grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked me off Alex.

I gasped at the tight hold and looked at Harry.

Harry kept his grip on my hair while he wrapped his fingers around my throat and squeezed lightly as he pressed his lips against mine. Moaning, I kissed him back eagerly while I tried to stroke Alex's cock at the same time.

"Mmm, good morning, pet," Harry said as he ended the kiss.

"Good morning, Sir," I replied back, staring into his eyes.

He did a little smirk before he let me go and Alex was quick to pull me back on his cock.

Harry moved so that he was behind me. He pushed my legs further apart before giving my ass cheek a hard slap.

I jerked and let out a muffled little scream against Alex's cock as I tried to move away.

"Stay still. Don't try and pretend you don't like it, I can see how much your pussy is dripping," Harry said as he grabbed my hips and pulled me back.

I blushed and did a little whimper as he smacked me again.

Harry glanced at Alex and signaled him to let me up as he teased a finger over my pussy lips.

Alex sat up and pulled me away from his cock before he brought me in for a kiss.

I looked at him a little confused was about to beg him to let me continue sucking his cock when I felt Harry's hand smack me harder on my ass but this time he wasn't giving me any breaks. He just gave me smack after smack.

"Sir! Ow, please," I gasped and screamed in pain, my fingers grasping onto the sheets under me as I tried to squirm away.

Alex got up on his knees and stroked his cock. "If I feel your teeth, it's the cane next," he said as he grabbed my jaw.

Opening my mouth wide, I only had a second to prepare before he was thrusting his cock deep into my mouth before he started fucking my mouth.

Harry finally stopped smacking me but there was no time to think about it because now he was spreading my cheeks and teasingly stroking his cock against my pussy.

I tried to push back against him but Alex's grip on my head made it impossible.

"First you try and get away, and now you're trying to get closer. Got to make up your mind, pet," Harry smirked as he grasped his cock and lined it up. He bit his lip as he started to thrust it into me.

I moaned loudly around Alex and I fought to stay up on all fours. It was overwhelming in the best ways possible. To be so full, to feel the ache in my jaw, the burning on my ass cheeks, and the stretch of my pussy as Harry fucked me hard and deep.

Drool was dripping from my mouth and chin, and I gagged as Alex moved his hand to the back of my head to push me down on his cock.

"Fuck," he muttered before I heard the unmistakable sound of them making out above me.

Alex's thrust was becoming jerky and fast as he thrust in deep, cutting off my air as he cummed down my throat.

Gasping for air, I looked up at him, tears streaming down my eyes as I licked my lips. "Thank you for using me, Sir," I told him, my voice a little hoarse.

Alex smirked as he breathed heavily. He tilted my head further back before he spat down at my face.

Closing my eyes, I could feel myself warming up even more from blushing and I whimpered as he slapped my cheek lightly.

"Look at the state of you. A fucking whore of a mess," Alex said as he let my face go and he sat back down.

Harry chuckled slightly as he looked at Alex. "Likes it though doesn't she? Being a messy whore? Used for our pleasure," he smirked and thrust in hard.

I let out a little grunt as I put my face down against the sheets.

"Get your fucking head up," Harry ordered and smacked my ass hard again.

Crying out, I quickly got up on my arms again. It felt like they were shaking from the strain of keeping myself up.

Harry was breathing heavier now. The sounds of him thrusting into me hard and fast was filling the room and I really really wanted to cum.

His fingers gripped my hips tightly, his fingernails digging into my skin as he groaned loudly while he filled me up.

After that, there was silence as we all just panted and tried to catch out breaths again.

Slowly pulling out, Harry pushed his hair back as he walked over to my dresser. "Don't move," he said as he opened one of the drawers.

"Yes, Sir," I answered him and straightened up - now my arms were actually shaking.

"For the rest of the day, you won't be needing to see. The only thing you'll need to do is do as you are told, spread your legs, and open your mouth when asked," Harry came back over to the bed and threw a blindfold at Alex who easily caught it.

Alex put it over my eyes while Harry started putting my leather cuffs on my ankles. Each time a cuff was fastened and I heard the click of the padlock closing and locking, I moaned slightly.

Leather cuffs were put on my hands too.

"Much better. Now it should be much easier to keep you still if you try and get away," Harry said as he got back on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. He pulled the sheets up a bit to cover himself and Alex.

"Kneel, legs spread wide, hands behind your back," he said casually as he grabbed Alex's tea and handed it over before grabbing his coffee.

I moved into position, clasping my hands together and trying to keep my balance as I tried to spread my legs as much as I could while kneeling.

Harry reached out and ran his fingers through Alex's hair while he took a sip of his coffee and enjoyed the view. "mm, perfect,"

[watermelonlovershigh]

Why does everyone post fics while I'm at work? 😭😭😭 The anticipation of having to wait until my off day is killing me.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Magnetic Part 2^**

A continuation of this fic where Harry cheats on his gf with Y/N and is basically pussy whipped.

Warnings: mentions of infidelity, heart break/break up, arguments/confrontations, mentions of alcohol & marijuana use, oral (f & m receiving) sex, unprotected sex, light dom/sub dynamic, light breeding kink, light pain kink, fingering, use of sex toy, daddy kink, forced orgasms.

WC:22K

HARRY’S POV

Things had been extremely quiet between Harry and his girlfriend since they got in the line for the valet and now well into the drive home. She was clearly upset at him, she was actively ignoring him when he’d glance over. But he was also a little bit frustrated with her for her attitude throughout the night. He was also annoyed that she tried to insinuate that you needed your uncle to find work, he had no idea where that had even come from! And while he had initially just thought about leaving it, the more he sat in silence with her, he needed to say something but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up without making her more upset at him. And as they got closer and closer to his house, he felt his emotions just forming a lump in his throat. He needed to say something.

“Babe.” He mumbled.

He waited a few seconds too long before he heard her respond, “Hm?” As she glanced up from her phone.

“You know I love you, right?” He asked and she nodded, “Which means I owe it to you to be honest with you.” He said and she straightened up.

“Yeah.” She confirmed. Harry licked over his lips and she swallowed the lump in her throat as she waited for him to keep talking, mentally preparing to hear the worst thing.

“I just…I can’t believe you tonight.” He sighed in disappointment, “I mean, what the fuck has gotten into you? You were so rude to Y/N!” He reprimanded her. She scoffed in disbelief.

“You can’t believe me?! I can’t believe you!” She raised her voice hand in the air as she gesticulated her frustration, “You have the hots for her!” She accused and he scoffed.

“I do not!”

“You were eye-fucking her all night, Harry!” She accused.

“All night?! We barely had a chat with them!” He shouted back as he turned to her, taking advantage of the red light. Her scowl melted into a dejected frown.

“All. Night. Harry.” She said emphatically. He could see the sadness in her eyes, it made his stomach turn.

He sighed and shrugged in defeat, “So what? She’s…she’s beautiful, I can’t…observe that?” He asked.

“You have a crush her.” She said and he frowned and immediately shook his head, denying her claim.

“No, I don’t!” He rebutted. 

“How do you know all those things about her, then?”

“We’re friends!” He exclaimed and just held her gaze for several seconds. “We’re friends.” He repeated.

“Light’s green.” She mumbled before turning away and Harry sighed and turned back to the road and took off. It grew silent again and he realized that he was feeling rather anxious about her finding out about him sleeping with you. He didn’t want her to find out. God, just seeing the hurt in her eyes now had him feeling completely gutted. He couldn’t do this to her and if it scared him then that was maybe a sign that he didn’t want to lose her, right?

“Babe.” He mumbled again.

“What?” 

“I’m sorry.” He apologized, “I did…look upon her lustfully.” He mumbled with a small smile and she turned towards him again. Harry glanced over quickly and was relieved to see her smile at him before he turned back to the road. 

“That’s all I wanted. For you to admit it.” She said.

“Okay, I admit it.” He said again, “It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, s’all.”

“Have you…been with her before?” She asked next and he sighed. “Before us?”

“Yes.” He responded and she clenched her jaw momentarily before exhaling.

“Okay.” She mumbled lowly, “It was the past.” She said to not let it get to her and he nodded.

“Exactly.” He reiterated. She then reached over for his hand and he let her grab it. 

“I know she’s your friend but I don’t like her.” She decided and he nodded.

“That’s…fine, you don’t have to.” He chuckled a bit and she smiled upon hearing him say that. It was quite a relief to her that he didn’t expect her to get along with you, it made her feel like he was in her corner, which she really needed after feeling so insecure tonight.

“I love you.” She said to him.

“Love you.” Harry smiled.

****************

As soon as you got home after dropping Joe off, you scurried up to your room and stripped down and headed to your lingerie drawer; you wanted to dress up for Harry. You had lots of lingerie, not because you used it a lot but because sometimes you just liked to feel sexy and you’d wear it under outfits when you were feeling less than confident before a gig or project or around the house while doing mundane things like hoovering or watching TV; it was mainly for you. As you browsed through your options you landed on a black lace bustier. You grabbed that and got it on before digging around for the bottoms. When you located the basically sheer thong that went with the top, you slid it up your legs and set it into place. You then made your way over to your hair accessories drawer and pulled out a big chiffon bow clip. You did a tousled half up-half down sort of thing, taking advantage of your loose curls. You then touched up your make up and got on some lotion and perfume before jumping into bed. 

You knew he’d be a while so you started to watch a movie, but when it ended and he still wasn’t here you got a bit worried. You checked your phone and didn’t see anything from him. Maybe he was handling something with his girlfriend? Regardless, you waited around a little bit more, but when it hit 2am you knew he wasn’t going to come. You were definitely disappointed, but more worried than anything because he would’ve at least warned you. You didn’t want to text him in case his girlfriend saw, so you just got through your nighttime routine before putting on another movie to help lull you to sleep. After staring at the TV for about 20 minutes you sighed and just reached for your phone and opened a text to him.

Hey, I hope everything’s alright. 

You hit send without giving it too much thought and then a second later the bottom of your screen read “Not Delivered”. You instantly felt a lump form in your throat and then bit down on the inside of your cheek to localize the pain that would just pang throughout your entire body otherwise. You felt hollow from one moment to the next, so much so that it made you nauseous and you sat and just inhaled deeply before slowly releasing out your breath as your eyes started to well up. Your throat was burning as you tried to hold back the urge to cry. 

“Get it together, bitch, s’not even your man.” you mumbled to yourself before laying back down. You grabbed your phone again and just deleted your messaging feed with Harry. He had made his choice and you were left on the outside. But it was for the best. It was.

The following morning you felt more calm about it, of course you were sad, but it was good that he decided to focus on his relationship. Either way, your feelings for him were getting a little too strong, so it was far better this way. You didn’t know what led to him blocking your number, but you were glad he had, it gave you a sense of closure. As much as you wanted to be upset about it you had no right to be. And it’s not like you could talk to one of your friends about it without brining shame to yourself and to Harry. You knew that they wouldn’t judge you or be assholes about it, things happen! But admitting that you kept accepting his advances is what you were ashamed of. You didn’t feel too guilty about it until now, when you realized that you had no one to talk to about this because it was embarrassing to have gotten to this point. You just needed to move on and also, you owed Joe an explanation.

*****************

Harry was feeling a hollowness in his chest and some guilt for standing you up and surely disappointing you in the process. He cared for you and he liked you a lot but he had a girlfriend and he did care for her. Yeah, things could be better in some areas but no relationship was perfect, so he needed to stop expecting a perfect match in every aspect of the relationship. It just wasn’t realistic to expect that and he had to appreciate what he already had. To some maybe this sounded like he was settling, but he didn’t think so. He was doing the mature thing and honoring the commitment he made to someone else. This was the right thing to do, especially upon realizing that if he didn’t stop it now, he had no idea when or if he could down the line. It actually kind of terrified him because he didn’t even know if you liked him in the same way he liked you. You were so good at compartmentalizing in this area, and he could too if he tried, but he liked you too much to do that.

He swallowed down the knot that formed in his throat, “Fuck…” he mumbled as he stared up at the ceiling, suddenly being overcome by what he could only describe as grief. Why did it feel like that?

“Harry?” He heard in the distance, “Harry, what’s wrong?” His girlfriend asked as she stopped moving over him. He suddenly snapped back to reality, realizing that he had been so in his head that he’d forgotten he was in the middle of sex with her. He dug his elbows into the mattress to help him sit up and then he grabbed her hip.

“I want to stop.” He mumbled and she frowned, looking perplexed and hurt at his sudden shift in mood.

“Are you sure?” She asked, “I mean, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just don’t feel too good.” He grumbled and she slowly clambered off of his body.

“Can I get you anything?” She asked him and he shook his head.

“No, I’m just gonna have a shower. That should help.” He said and she nodded as he wordlessly got up and into the shower.

When he emerged from his shower he did feel a bit better, the anxiety of the choice he’d made had minimized enough that he could sit comfortably with it again. He had to stick to his guns not just for the sake of his relationship but for yours too. You didn’t deserve this, just pieces of someone’s attention and affection, you deserved someone’s whole heart. Thinking back on it now, asking you to tell him that you’d wait for him was the most selfish and cruel thing he had done to another person. It made his stomach sink once again and he felt this awful pang of hurt strike him right in the heart before radiating out to his fingertips.

“H?” He heard some taps on the door.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want some oatmeal with berries?”

“Sure.” He called back before looking up into the mirror again and sighing. He had made the right decision…it didn’t feel like it right now, but with time it could- no, it would, get better. He had to believe that.

…. ONE MONTH LATER ….

You were a little bit nervous as you were getting your dress on to go meet Joe. After the Harry thing, you came clean to him as to why you had abruptly ended your evening and Joe was hurt. He felt that you had connected really well and was looking forward to getting some alone time with you and so he was very disappointed to hear that. You then said that you actually did want to see him and he felt like you were just rebounding him and when you assured him you were not, he asked you to give him some time to figure out if he wanted to continue seeing you again and you agreed. He had reached out to you earlier in the week and asked to see you and you quickly agreed. You were actually looking forward to it and hoped that he’d give you another chance because you truly had a wonderful time with him and could see yourself starting to like him if you got to know him a little better. You were getting close to the bar he had told you to go to and kept an eye out for him up front and finally you saw him as your driver slowed down.

“Here we are, miss.” The older gentleman smiled.

“Thank you. Here you are.” You said handing him some cash, “I don’t need change.” You assured him and he thanked you before you opened up the door. Seconds later Joe was at the door, extending his arm for support as you climbed out.

“Hey, you look lovely.” Joe greeted you and quickly kissed your cheek and you did the same before pulling back.

“Thanks. You look great too!” You smiled as you looked him up and down before looking into his eyes again. He was quite a sharp dresser, you were impressed with his personal style. 

“What?” He sniggered.

“Nothing…” you smiled, “I’m glad you called.” You said with a small shrug and he smiled.

“C’mon, lets get inside.” He suggested and you nodded and followed behind him. 

You had a drink while you caught up over what you’d each been up to over the last few weeks and just as you recalled, he was charming, funny, smart…this man was a full fledged dream and you were willing to give him an honest shot. After you got another drink in you, you were well on your way to buzzed and were practically giggling at everything he was saying so you decided to share some spicy tuna on crispy rice boat things that just happened to hit the spot.

“Wow, those were phenomenal. Great suggestion.” You hummed as you carefully wiped around your mouth incase you had smeared your lipstick.

“Glad you liked it.” He smiled. “So…”

“So.” You responded with a playful smile as you looked up at him through your eyelashes.

“Obviously I…am attracted to you. I like you.” He said a bit timidly, breaking eye contact as he spoke the words, but then looking back at you.

“I like you too.” You assured him when he looked back into your eyes. You needed him to know that you meant it. Being vulnerable was a very hard thing for you but when it came to people’s feelings the least you could do was reciprocate it. It often made you feel a little bit foreign in yourself but the relief and pride you felt in yourself that came afterwards as a result of your candor did a great job of washing out any negative feelings.

“Ummm…I…I was engaged just a few months ago and we ended it because she cheated on me with her best friend.” He explained and your smile immediately disappeared and a frown took its place.

“Joe, I’m so sorry-”

“It’s fine.” He shook his head, “Well, it’s not fine, but I’m starting to be fine, I think.” He explained and you nodded. “But ummm…I’m not as ready to date as I thought I was. I think when I agreed to go to your aunt’s thing I mean…I just needed a night of fun. I wanted to get my mind off of things and it was great!” He added and you nodded, “But I’m not ready to continue seeing you as more than friends.” He explained and you felt like the bubble of your buzz had been burst as your throat suddenly felt like it was closing up.

“I get it.” You smiled softly. “And I continue to feel awful about being so abrupt to end our night out after how much fun we had-”

“Don’t be. I think if we had gone back to yours or mine I would’ve like cried during sex or something.” He chuckled with a little bit of embarrassment.

“Yikes…” you hissed jokingly, in an attempt to lighten the mood and he laughed, which you were glad he did. “I’m kidding, I mean…it happens.” You shrugged.

“I suppose.” He smiled and was more than grateful that you were taking this all in stride. “I think I’m also a little bit…scared of you.” He added and your brows furrowed in concern.

“W-why?” You asked cautiously and then regretted asking. Maybe you didn’t want the answer anymore.

“Like I love that you were so honest about what happened, I genuinely appreciate that! But the fact that you just have men at your disposal like that…it just…kind of made me feel…unsafe.” He said and your frown deepened, “Which was such a contrast from how things felt at the party so it was like an emotional whiplash for me. And this is not to say you’re in the wrong for this! You have every right to do as you please, you’re a smart, beautiful, and fun single person, you know? That’s not…like I’m not trying to shame you for what you do in your own time, it’s me. Like…I don’t know how to not feel…upset by it?”

“It’s still fresh, what you’ve been through with your ex-fiancé.” You clarified and he nodded.

“Yeah, I think that’s the main issue here. Clearly I’m not emotionally or psychologically prepared for anything with anyone right now. Sorry.” He apologized sincerely and you smiled and shook your head.

“I understand, Joe. There’s no need to be sorry.” You assured him, “If anything, I’m even more sorry for making you feel that way! It was a super shitty thing to do and you didn’t deserve that.” With your gaze cast down at your hands, you apologized, but you felt even worse now because you were exactly the kind of person who had hurt him before. You were disappointed in yourself for being so careless with other people’s feelings; it was so disappointing.

Clearly, you had no regard for another person’s relationship and had slept with a taken man. Friend or not, it was a line that never should have been crossed, even the first time had been a little suspect to anyone looking from the outside in. Seeing Joe being so affected by his ex had you feeling truly ashamed over everything with Harry for the first time as you imagined how shitty his girlfriend would feel if she ever found out. It was easy to shut that off when you were with Harry or at least when you were on speaking terms, but the distance between you two and now Joe’s own experience was forcing you into giving every single possible consequence some thought and it was awful.

“Ummm…you don’t have to tell me but w-was it…Harry?” He asked, his volume lowering significantly when he spoke his name. You quickly glanced up and met his inquisitive gaze and after a few seconds he smiled knowingly and you bit your lip and looked away as your eyes started to well up. Not with hurt but actually with shame. You felt absolutely disgusting. “Hey…w-what’s wrong?” He asked and you just shook your head.

“I…kind of hate myself for it right now.” You got out and he reached for your hand.

“Hey, we all make mistakes.” He reassured you, “I’ve been there too.” He confessed and you sighed, “Look, just because I’m the victim now doesn’t mean I haven’t been the one in the hot seat.” He said with a smile and you chuckled a bit and nodded.

“Yeah…I just never thought I was capable of doing something like that…but when it’s just so…right…” you sighed, “You forget about everyone else.”

“Yeah.” He replied, he was full of understanding, which you were more than grateful for.

“How did you know? What did I do?” You asked as you rolled your eyes up, slightly irritated at yourself for not being as discreet as you believed you were. But Joe shook his head at you before responded.

“It wasn’t you at all actually, it was…all him.” He chuckled and you looked back into his eyes again. “When he would look at you it was like…you’re the eighth wonder of the world.” He explained and your heart literally fluttered in your chest. “As you were talking he like…followed your every move, reacted to every little thing. Almost as if you were the center of everything…” he shared and you licked over your lips nervously, you were doing your very best to not let this information go to your head.

“And you know this how?” You asked instead as you looked at him inquisitively.

“He’s a handsome guy! I was looking at him too.” He chuckled with a shrug and you giggled as well and nodded.

“Yeah…that he is.” You nodded in agreement.

After that you got on to a lighter topic but your mind was in some distant place thinking about Harry. About what Joe had just described to you. You’d looked at Harry like he was the center of the universe before too… 

…. 22 JULY, 2023….

You always thought he was attractive, but seeing him at the Reggio show from the friends and family section had put him on another plane for you. You had a great view of the stage and of him and the big screen with him on it. The beautiful, powerful chords of the intro to Golden filled the air around you, the bass so strong that you felt a tickle beneath your feet as the earth reverberated with his music. The beautiful, golden lights glowing behind him made him look like a god. In that moment you were filled with pride and awe, you wished he was yours to love on after everything was over. But a few people behind you was the girl he was seeing. You were standing by Jeffrey and Glenne, you were exchanging excited glances as he walked up to the mic and greeted the crowd in Italian. One hundred thousand people simultaneously cheered in response. You’d never heard anything like it! It made your heart skip a beat as your voice joined the battalion of them.

You bit your lip as your eyes honed in on his big, buff arms flexing as he strummed his guitar. You were trying not to get carried away thinking about how you’d bitten into the “can I stay” inked into his skin just a few days before in Portugal. You started laughing happily as you looked right at him, just about to burst with excitement and pride for him. And then his eyes met yours and it’s like the sound just dropped off and everything was muted down and delayed. You swear an eternity passed by as you watched his lips turning up until there was a bright and flirtatious grin on his face as he very quickly looked you up and down. 

Your heart was hammering in your chest, you were aching to feel his lips on yours one more time…then he turned away and continued with his performance.

You were awestruck by him. You watched him give it his entire heart and soul to his audience that day, he didn’t want to go, he didn’t want it to end. And when it all ended and you were all hanging back and having celebratory drinks you got a brief moment with him when you’d run into each other outside of the bathroom. You hugged him for a few moments and smiled so wide.

“Was I good?” He asked.

“You were phenomenal. It was iconic!” You praised him as you pulled back, “I’m so proud of you, H!” You insisted passionately and he chuckled.

“Thank you. I’m happy you’re here.” He said and you smiled.

“Thank you for having me.” You chuckled. He grabbed your face gently and let his thumbs stroke over the high points of your cheeks. He smiled softly as he held eye contact with you for a few seconds before you blinked your gaze away, “Ummm…you should probably get back there. I heard your dad asking around for you.” You informed him.

“You met my dad?” He asked and you nodded, “Brad introduced us. I accidentally cursed in his face.” You sputtered on a laugh and he knocked his head back in laughter as he laughed from deep in his belly.

“What?! How?!” He questioned.

You laughed and shook your head, “He was like, “H didn’t do too bad, did?” And I was like, “Oh yeah, he was so fucking brilliant!”, I was so excited for you!” You laughed as you explained, “I watched his eyes go wide at my passion. He’s definitely gonna warn you about me.” You joked and Harry slid his hand down and then ran his thumb over your bottom lip.

“You’re so fucking cute.” He grinned.

“Yeah, so are you. Now go on.” You insisted and he looked at you suggestively with those pretty, bedroom eyes, “Go, H.” You said again.

“You’re right.” He hummed as he let go and sighed before stepping around you as if nothing had happened.

“Hey, Harry!” You called after him and he turned around, “For the record, I’m like…always right.” You smirked smugly and his lip twitched up as well.

“Noted.” He winked before disappearing for the rest of the night

….Flashback Over….

You blinked quickly a few times, not really sure how long you’d been zoned out for, “Sorry…” you apologized quickly.

“It’s alright. Touchy subject?”

“Yeah…just a bit.” You smiled and shrugged, “It’s fine…but we just haven’t talked since then.” You explained.

“He fucked you and then ditched you?!” Joe asked with a frown.

“Oh no…no, he changed his mind. He actually never showed. Which I’m so proud of him for but with that came like a no contact thing so it’s been weird just guessing what he might be up to. It’s kinda weird because we are friends, so…” you trailed off.

“Oh okay…I was about to say he’s a fucking prick.” He chuckled and you smiled and shook your head.

“Nah, he’s quite the opposite. It’s fucking infuriating.” You giggled and he nodded as he withdrew his hand. 

“I want to keep in touch, YN. I mean, maybe down the line when I’m more…myself we could try if we’re both still interested.” He said and you smiled.

“Yeah, I’d really like that.” You agreed.

At the end of the night you shared a taxi home, he wanted to make sure you got in okay. As soon as you made it past the threshold of your front door, your phone started pinging and you dug it out of your purse. You saw it was Goldie, she’d sent several good luck messages and that you should catch up about it the following day if possible. You smiled and just called her. It was barely half past eight, she should be awake. When the phone stopped ringing you spoke into the receiver.

“Hey, G. You alright?” You asked as you slipped out of your heels.

“Hey, good and you? How’d it go on the date?”

“Ummm, it was more of a “lets quit while we’re ahead” type of thing actually.” You chuckled in response, “But thanks for checking in.” You smiled. You couldn’t wait to have a cup of tea and do anything to distract you from the slight disappointment you were feeling.

“Boo…” she replied and you shrugged. “So what you’re home now?”

“Yeah, literally just got in.” You replied.

“Do you need a distraction?” She asked and you smiled.

“I certainly could.” You smiled.

“Okay, I’m actually out with Sam right now, we’re having drinks at The Ivy while we wait on Paul.” She shared, “Come! I don’t want to third wheel!” She insisted, you slightly heard Sam asking who he was inviting, “Y/N, her date night was cut short.” She explained as you seriously weighed out her invitation.

“I don’t know…I just got in…” you grumbled.

“Which means you’re already dressed up anyway!” She reasoned and you sighed and shrugged.

“Sold.” You giggled.

“Yay! We’ll see you here soon!”

“See you soon.” You agreed and quickly went touch up your make up and get on a little more perfume before rushing out of the house again and walking to the main street to catch a cab. When you got in you spotted Goldie, Sam, and Paul chatting at the bar. Goldie grinned wide and waved you over with a bright smile.

“Hi!” She beamed.

“Hey everyone!” You smiled as you walked up and greeted everyone with a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, “What’s going on?” You asked as you looked between them.

“We’re just waiting for them to figure out the table situation. Harry ended up tagging along with Paul, they just finished watching Swan Lake. We didn’t tell him that we had asked you to join already so they’re just waiting for a booth to clear up for us now.” Sam explained and you smiled and nodded but your mouth went completely dry. 

You could feel your heart starting to hammer in your chest and you were terrified of having to face him. It filled you with anxiety. You couldn’t look at him and feel unfazed yet, it would just make you feel awful and guilty and like a complete piece of shit. Your stomach was twisting and your brain working against you as it came up with catastrophic situations and fed into your anxiety.

“Ummm G, I suddenly am not feeling well.” You said softly to her and she frowned in concern. She was just about to ask you what was wrong when Paul raised his arm, capturing her and your attention.

“H, over here!” Paul spoke up and you were suddenly feeling full of anxiety as Harry surely approached the group. You didn’t want to turn around…you couldn’t face him yet. You weren’t ready!

“Hey, thank you for ummm….” He paused briefly as his eyes landed on you, “For waiting.” He finished and Paul nodded and smiled. He then proceeded to greet everyone and you very stiffly hugged him back. 

He started talking to Sam about the ballet and how incredible it had been. You were certain that if you had also been able to sit through several hours of Tchaikovsky before this run in you’d be just as composed as he was, if not more. You looked him over and smiled a bit, he was really letting loose. His hair was looking a little messy and he was growing it into some long-lost Gallagher brother-esque faux hawk-mullet hybrid that you were really loving. And his facial hair was looking fuller than before. You wanted to think he was letting himself go a bit because he missed you, but even if that were the case, he still looked infuriatingly good. And well, in his true fashion of always having to do something a little raunchy and edgy, he was wearing a t-shirt that said: I LIKE TO WATCH. If you hadn’t been so anxious about seeing him you would’ve rolled your eyes and commented it on it, maybe even gotten a lot turned on by his brazenness, but you were just trying to keep it together right now. 

Moments later you were being guided into the booth and you ensured to stay on the end in case you just needed to leave quickly at som point. Much to your dismay, he was across from you and also doing everything in his power to prevent himself from looking at you. You had soon ordered your drink and everyone else did the same plus some food. Even if you were feeling peckish, you weren’t sure you could stomach anything other than liquids at this moment.

“So what happened with your date, Y/N?” Sam asked and then everyone’s attention focused on you. You felt put on the spot and but responded anyway.

“Ummm…I kind of…messed up a tiny bit after our first date.” You explained and then frowned a bit, “That’s…a lie. I majorly messed up. And he was taking some time to think if I was worth the risk, I guess? But as he thought about it he concluded that he’s not ready to see anyone in any serious capacity right now so we’re just going to stay friends.” You summarized your conversation with Joe from earlier in the evening “And well…here I am now.” You shrugged with a tightlipped smile.

“So he asked you on a date to tell you he wasn’t going to date you?” Paul questioned.

“Well, I think I just got excited and assumed it was a date. But ummm…it wasn’t so…” you shrugged before sipping more from your drink nervously.

“So you’ve been single for a while?” Sam asked. You’d known Paul for quite a while, even before he and Sam got together, so while you’d known Sam for a few years now, he wasn’t really in your circle until more recently.

“A while is…putting it nicely.” You mumbled in slight embarrassment, “Try five years.” You chuckled and his eyes went wide.

“Holy shit!”

“Look, it’s not for lack of effort! I go on dates a lot but ummm, nothing has…panned out really.” You shrugged as you glanced down at a little snagged piece of fabric on the table cloth.

“I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, Y/N but you give “fixer” vibes.” Sam said and you looked at him in confusion.

“What does that mean?”

“Sam-” Paul started but he brushed him off.

“It’s not a bad thing! But she seems like the kind of person that makes men wish they were single again.” He said and Harry reached for his drink then, “Like look at her! She’s gorgeous and talented and smart and a fucking laugh! So when they inevitably get bored of their girlfriends and end it, they go to her and she shows them life can be fun again.” He said and you smiled slightly at him, “That getting to know someone and being with them can be exhilarating! And being the sweetheart you are,” he glanced to you, “you take care of these people. You nourish them, support them emotionally and physically…You breathe life back into them, you know?” You nodded in understanding, “And then how do they repay her kindness? They leave her high and dry despite all of the good things she did for them. That’s a fixer. Not like she seeks them out to fix them, but they need fixing and they just come to her in order to…feel something again but it’s never reciprocated.” He explained and you were trying so hard not to cry and scream “YES! THAT’S EXACTLY MY LIFE!” 

“Jesus…That’s an awful thing to say, Sam.” Paul said with disapproval and he frowned.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Y/N.” Sam apologized quickly. “I’ve had a lot to drink already and I wasn’t thinking.” He said reaching over Goldie’s hands to grab your own and you just smiled at him and shook your head.

“Aw Sam, it’s alright, I know you didn’t mean it in a bad way. I’m not offended.” You reaffirmed, “If anything I’m…happy there’s a term for it! Thank you!” You smiled sincerely and he smiled at you with a tenderness in his eyes.

“You’re so fucking gracious.” He sighed, completely in awe of you, “I don’t deserve you as a friend.” He shook his head.

“I promise you, we’re so good, Sam. Don’t worry about it.” You reassured him and he nodded. It was still quiet at the table for a few more seconds and it was killing you, “Anyway…why didn’t you two go to the ballet?” You asked Goldie and Sam.

“We weren’t invited. Harry only invited Paul.” Sam explained with a sassy smile as he side-eyed Harry who scoffed.

“I told you I was only gifted two tickets!” Harry said. And well, you couldn’t help but wonder if he was gifted two tickets…why he hadn’t taken his girlfriend along?

“So? You can afford it, Harry.” Goldie said matter of factly, a moment of silence passed before you all burst into laughter at Goldie’s comment.

“Jesus, I didn’t know everyone was so into the fucking ballet.” He mumbled making you all continue laughing.

  “You didn’t think maybe your friends would want to spend time with you?”

“Not on my dime.” He joked.

“It’s how the rich the stay rich.” Sam shrugged as you all laughed along.

“I kid…” Harry smiled easily, “Next time.” He assured and Goldie looked at him with raised eyebrows, “I promise.” He chuckled and she grinned.

“I’ll be waiting.” She hummed and then the topic changed again to something else that wasn’t you and you were more than grateful about that.

You were getting tired mentally from going against every single signal your brain would send, tempting you to just stare at Harry and get lost in him. It was like there was this pull that drew you to his movements, you just wanted to sit and admire him. You wished you could scoot in beside him and feel his warmth coming off of him. You wondered if in another world you could do just that. Yeah, you knew that he probably missed you, but he hadn’t picked you. You needed to stop being so pathetic by wishing for a miracle. Especially by staying so hung up on him despite the time that had transpired and the circumstance you two had been in. You just needed to collect yourself for a moment.

“I’m going to the bathroom. Be right back.” You said lowly to Goldie before standing and heading off. You heard Harry say, “Me too.” before the sound of his foot steps got closer and closer to you. You started walking a bit faster to make it there before he had the chance to catch up to you because you didn’t need this right now. You needed the distance so fucking bad, no matter how much you wanted him close by.

“Hey, wait up!” He called out as he fastened his pace to catch up with you.

“I was getting up to get away from you, you know?” You said with a smile as he came up beside you.

He glanced to you quickly, “Sorry.” He smiled and you turned back to look ahead of you. “Are you doing anything after this?” He asked you and you glanced to him with an insulted look on your face and suddenly he gasped and grabbed your arm hard and pulled you into him.  “Almost crashed into a waiter.” He informed and you glanced up at him.

“Thanks.” You said and he nodded.

“And I don’t mean it like that.” He said, “Just want to talk. I have some things I need to say.” He said as you stopped before the bathroom doors.

“I’ll think about it.” 

“Okay, thank you. I’ll offer you a ride home and ummm, if you decline then that’s that. Sound good?” He asked and you nodded in agreement before you hurried into the bathroom. You just looked in the mirror, weighing out your options. Of course you wanted to hear what he had to say, you couldn’t avoid him forever, and you had to start practicing your self control sooner or later. You could do this. 

After Harry asked to talk to you and you had decided to hear what he had to say, time seemed to be moving slower than ever. Hearing him out could potentially help you move on as well, but now that you wanted to hear it it was like everything was preventing that from happening, it was making you second guess yourself and you started debating it in your head. Then, the next thing you knew Harry was standing before you asking,

“Do you want a ride home? The driver is heading your way after dropping me off.” He looked at you expectantly and everything fell still as you nodded.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thank you so much.” You accepted and you watched as his lips turned up as he assured you it was no big deal. 

You started saying goodbye to the rest of your friends before you were following Harry to the curb where his driver was waiting. You settled in as he shared the new plan for the evening with his driver for the night, Jaime. Next, he put up the partition before settling into his seat. He glanced up at you as he pulled out his phone.

“Address is still the same?” He asked and you nodded and he started typing away and sent it off to the driver before setting it aside and looking at you.

“What did you need to say?” You asked and he sighed.

“That I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for putting you in the position I did.” You shook your head.

“It wasn’t just you. I was a willing participant.” You added.

“But I always sought you out.” He said and you smile slightly and nodded, it was true.

“Well, I accept your apology. Thanks for that.”

“It’s the least I could do.” He said as he reached for your hand and you let him take it and you gave him a squeeze before letting go.

“What made you change your mind?” You asked and he smiled a bit.

“We were fighting about you in the car and it hit me that I was terrified of her ever finding out about this. Like, I genuinely felt scared of losing her.” He said and you nodded in understanding. “Was the guy you had seen tonight still the guy from the party? The professor?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yep.” You confirmed.

“Bummer. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” You sighed. “I…really hit him where it hurt. His fiancée was cheating on him, so when I left him for you, he…just took it really hard.”

“Shit…” Harry frowned and you nodded.

“I know. It put a lot into perspective for me and like…I don’t want to be that person either. I don’t want hurt anyone like that. This isn’t fair.”

“Yeah.” Harry agreed, “I want to be friends though. You’re fucking sick.” He said with a genuine smile and you smiled down at your hands .

“Thanks, so you are you, Harry.”

“You know something? I still can’t get over the fact that your favorite song is Burning Love.” He mumbled through a widening grin. “It’s just…you don’t seem like the type to listen to Elvis.”

“I don’t. Just that song because that’s what my favorite burger is called from the Red Robin burger chain, I’d sing it every time I’d have one and it grew on me.” You shrugged with a smile and he chuckled.

“You’re fucking lovely, you know that?” He asked and you giggled and rolled your eyes playfully. Then a silence took over you two and he sighed, “I know I just said that I was afraid of losing her but ummm…can I just say that things at home have been…a little rough lately?”

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked.

“Do you mind?” He asked back and you shook your head.

“I don’t.” You assured him.

“Well, I don’t know…like I’m prioritizing us more, but I don’t know…when issues keep coming up and like…I feel I’m always the one having to compromise or apologize, you know? She doesn’t like to work through things as they come up and it kills me. You know how I am…” he said and you nodded, “And if I want to resolve anything I always have to take the blame and it takes a toll, even though I know it’s not always my fault.” He vented, “Anyway, she’s out of town right now, s’why she didn’t go with me tonight. But it’s for the best, I think. I just need a little space after we argue about something big.” He explained.

“I’m sorry, Harry.” You said comfortingly. “But you know, sometimes things get a little worse before they take a turn for the better.”

“You’re right.” He decided after a few pensive moment, “I really am trying to make that better s’also why I’ve been so distant from you. I’m just trying to prioritize her and us. It’s not because…you “fixed” me and I bailed on you, or whatever Sam was saying.” He explained with a roll of his eyes, clearly still very irritated at what Sam had said.

“Well, I can’t say I wasn’t expecting it at some point.” You shrugged with a small smile.

“But did it…feel that way for you? That you were…fixing the things I didn’t like about myself in my relationship?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Not with you.” You assured, “What was there to fix? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you for not liking everything about your relationship or how it’s panning out. As long as there are humans involved there are bound to be good and bad things, you know? And I mean, we’re all different and have different likes and needs. I mean, was it a dick thing for us to do? Of course it was but…I think what needed to happen, happened. And well, at the end of the day you realized that she’s more important to you than the sex! And that’s great. I mean, I’m happy for you. I’m glad that you figured that out.” you said with a smile, despite feeling like your heart was withering away little by little. You then looked out the window as you saw the scenery changing, indicating you were nearing his side of town.

“Hey.” He reached for your hand again and you turned back to him again, “I just wanted you to know that yeah, the sex was…incredible,” he smiled bashfully, “but it wasn’t just that for me.” He said and your lips turned down in a small pout as his words registered in your brain. “I started to blur the lines a lot, I mean, you know that and you always set me straight and it…hurt though. And seeing you with that guy-”

“Joe.” You added and he nodded.

“Yeah, seeing you with Joe at that party made me so upset. I could see that you guys were into each other. It’s why I went and found you afterwards.” He confessed, “I wanted you to have me fresh on your mind if anything were to happen between you two.” He explained shamefully and your eyes filled with sadness, “I was selfish and I…was so out of line for that and then just…left you hanging.” He sighed with a sad smile on his face. Your eyes were threatening to spill the tears that were already built up in them, effectively blurring your vision. 

“And now, hearing what went down with him I feel like shit because I took that opportunity from you. I literally ruined that for you to just give you pieces of my attention when you deserve far more than that.” He frowned, “And while I have acted so selfishly when it comes to you, I really want you to know that I wasn’t just using you for sex. Like I can’t help but think that if we had run into each other again just even a few months earlier on the tour then we would probably be-”

“Don’t.” You whispered as your tears started to spill over when he said that. He looked to you with concern as you sniffled, “Fuck me…” You whispered spitefully at yourself and he quickly reached over to grab a few tissues from the box nestled into the holder before him. You took them and expertly dabbed at your eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“It’s fine.” You mumbled as you dabbed beneath your nose as well.

“It’s not though.” He pressed as he watched you trying to keep it all together right now.

“It is, Harry!” You snapped suddenly. The silence that followed between the two of you was deafening. “It has to be fine.” You insisted assertively. It wasn’t even three seconds before you immediately regretted your explosive reaction, “I’m so sorry for raising my voice at you, Harry.” You apologized immediately and his gaze softened. 

He admired you so fucking much. You were so good at this part, at the hard things. You listened to understand, not to respond and fight back. He felt safe sharing everything with you, he wasn’t afraid that you would judge him like he feared his girlfriend would sometimes. The proof was even in your sexual relationship, you tried things with him that he had been judged for in the past just because they probably weren’t expected to be part of his preferences. He certainly had a deeper interest in you, just based off of the time your lips weren’t attached to each others, you connected so well. You could talk about things as silly as your preferred brand of ketchup or as serious and daunting as the state of the world, and then find a way to transition into passionate and genuine sex, the most primal form of human connection. So…when he had moments like this, where he was reminded of how fortunate he was to know you, things got a little bit murky in his brain, which is why he responded to your outburst in the following manner.

“It’s alright, angel.” He reassured you as he grabbed your face gently in his hand. The term of endearment he used for you just slipped out and made him fall into this much more intimate space that you two had shared before. When he realized what he had done he sighed, “Maybe this was a bad idea.” He said as he pulled away. Watching him go from so vulnerable to regretful of it was so painful and he could see it in your eyes, “I never intended to hurt you with this.” He said with a sense of remorse sinking into his chest, it was making him feel like breathing was getting harder to do.

“No, I needed to hear all of this to…help me move on.” You said and that made his guts twist with hurt, but he nodded along with a small and unconvincing smile anyway. 

You could see in his eyes that his mind was off somewhere far, far away from this place. You too wanted to be so far removed mentally and emotionally, but you really needed to bask in the hurt and the feelings of disappointment of what could’ve been so that you could just really get it through your head that this was absolutely done. Yeah, you wanted to stay friends but you both needed to shake your feelings before you could be together in any space again without feeling that pull that was still there, even now. 

“Ummm, I know we said that we want to stay friends, but I think we need to give it some time just to…not risk repeating history, you know?” You suggested.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He agreed as you guys turned onto his street. You looked out the window as you drifted off into thought.

One of your friends from university had contacted you about coming to help with his debut album, it would require you going back to America for at least three months. Maybe more if any major changes or hitches occurred in the project. You hadn’t decided yet, but maybe you should do it. A change of scenery and pace could help you move on. You could reconnect with old friends, meet new people, get your creativity flowing…this could be really good for you.You remained silent until you were pulling up to the perimeter gate around his property line.

“Well…” you sighed as the large gates started to part after the driver input the code.

“Do you need the bathroom or water or anything before you go?” He asked and you shook your head. You knew better than to go into his house right now that his girlfriend was gone. You knew he was just being polite, he didn’t mean it suggestively.

But then again, with your prior arrangement, he could have you even now if he wanted. You’d let him. You’d want him so long as he wanted you, so you it was easy to give him that power over you. He knew that already and with one shared gaze you could see that he was thinking exactly what you’d been thinking. You smirked knowingly and he just smiled so brightly as he grabbed your face and smushed his lips to your forehead. 

“Cheeky.” He mumbled before pulling back to meet your gaze again.

“Said the pot to the kettle.” You sniggered and he smiled down at you.

“Take good care of yourself, love.” He said as the car rolled slowly to a stop.

“You too, H.” You smiled as he leaned in to hug you. You quickly kissed cheeks before he pulled back and slid out of the backseat. He rounded over to the driver’s side and you rolled the window down to see him off.

“Jaime, thank you so much mate.” Harry said as he handed him over a generous cash tip.

“H, not this again.” He said pressing it back towards Harry.

“If not for me, at least for making the extra stop.” He said, “Please. I insist.”

“This is the last time.” He grumbled and Harry chuckled.

“Alright, well get her home safe, for me. Precious cargo.” Harry said as he smiled at you.

“Certainly, H. Good night.” Jaime said and he bid him goodnight before reaching for your hand and holding on until Jaime had driven you far enough that your hands pulled apart. You slid back into the window and rolled it up. You didn’t even feel like crying, you felt alright for now. But the important thing was that you left each other well and that was the best thing that could’ve happened. Yeah, it hurt that it seemed like you’d missed each other in life but at least there were memories you could share.

…. TWO MONTHS LATER ….

You were currently crowded into the corner of the rooftop at The Roosevelt for some fashion ambassadors event by some brand. Your friend, Monty had been booked as the entertainment for the evening and he pulled you in to play the bass for his band at the last minute. You were just grooving along as you played “Something” by The Beatles. You loved playing this song, it had such a fun and iconic bass line. And as you looked around the crowd you caught a glimpse of Harry’s girlfriend in the audience, she was looking right at you and when your gazes met she turned away and started talking to the person behind her. You found that odd, but decided to leave it. You’d only interact if your paths crossed.

But just as fate would have it, as you walked up to the open bar during a break in the set, you both just happened to break through the crowd at the same time and stepped up to the bar together. She glanced at you and you smiled at her.

“Hey. It’s nice to see you again.” You greeted her politely.

“Hi.” She smiled half-heartedly and her gaze was kind of cold.

“How are you?” You asked her a bit awkwardly.

“I’m fine and you?” 

“I’m good. Been pretty good, been out here for a couple months already for work.” You shared and she hummed with a polite smile. It was awkward because you really weren’t friends or anything, so you decided to bring up the person who had been the common link between you two. “H-how’s Harry?” You asked and her smile dropped immediately.

“Look Y/N, I’m sure you’re a nice person but I don’t want you going near him anymore. I don’t care if you’re friends. I’m sorry if that offends you, but I just don’t trust you.” She said lowly. You didn’t know if he had told her what had transpired between you two but it’s the only thing that made sense. And because of this, you nodded in response, letting her know you understood and respected her wishes. She looked hesitant before speaking again, but said it anyway, “I know you…slept with him.” She informed you, voice still softer than before and your throat dried up. 

You couldn’t breathe and you just felt completely humiliated as you looked right in her face as she said this to you. But now it made sense, why she was acting so cold towards you. She knew what you and Harry had done and now you had to face the music, like an adult. No excuses and no shifting blame. All you could do now was apologize to her for sleeping with her boyfriend and assure her that it was purely carnal and it would never happen again.

“I’m so sorry. I know you might not believe me but I mean, I feel awful about the whole thing. I swear it wasn’t more than those couple of times and it was purely physical. I haven’t tried to contact him at all or-”

“Couple of times? Why would you feel bad about sleeping with him before?” She questioned with confusion and you suddenly felt your stomach drop to the ground as you realized that she in fact didn’t know the full story. Well, now she did and you could see the cogs in her brain turning as she pieced the information together.

Harry had told her something else and you had no fucking clue what that had been! You knew you had to get out of this somehow, but you were completely frozen as the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. It’s not like you could take back what you had said. But if you could give anything up in the world to turn back time and say something else, you would. Your eyes started welling up as you felt this sense of doom starting to seep into your body, it traveled from deep in your guts to the rest of your body as she looked at you expectantly. You shook your head and she stepped closer to you.

“How many times, Y/N?” She asked and you shook your head again, “Fucking tell me.” She pressed, trying to keep her anger at bay.

“Four or five times. I-i think.” You stammered as your tears started to streak down your cheeks.

“When was the last time?” She asked and you swallowed thickly as you fought to keep the words in. “Y/N.” She pressed and you sniffled.

“Look, he loves you and he-”

“Tell me, you fucking slut.” She hissed quietly, all you could see in her eyes was rage.

“M-march.” You said and she inhaled deeply and pressed her lips together for a second before looking off as she processed the information. She then turned to you with disgust painted all over her features, “Fuck you. Stay the hell away from him or else. Do you understand?” She admonished and you nodded quickly as you blinked back tears before hurrying off. 

You were panicking as you searched around for Monty, he had the room key for the suite you had been given to hang out in during the day. And right now you needed to get to your phone and warn Harry before she got a chance to go off on him. You were weaving through the crowd trying to find Monty and then you spotted Harry’s girlfriend leaving the event with her phone pressed to her ear and a scowl on her face. That image alone made your stomach turn uncomfortably and one single thought crossed your mind: Harry was going to hate you forever now.

****************

Waiting for Harry to call you was miserable. Hours passed, then, it had been a day. Then, two days. Then, a week. And once that week hit you were resigned to the fact that even your friendship with him was over and that’s why he wasn’t talking to you. You hadn’t meant to sabotage him or his relationship, but you’d made his worst fear come true. You were dying to reach out but you were scared that you’d just make things worse. 

But also, how the hell were you supposed to know that he’d said something else about your relationship? But just the way that she had been acting towards you made you believe that she knew that you two had slept together while they were dating. If he’d been single when you slept together there was no need to for her to be acting upset or cold towards you unless she was just extremely jealous. Which now, was more than justified. The only other person you could turn to at the moment was Joe because he had figured it out on his own, but you didn’t want to bother him with any of this. It wasn’t his to fuss over and he was still dealing with his own infidelity problems. Your time in LA was coming to a close quickly and you were petrified.

You were so nervous to go home. The community in London was quite small and word got around fast, especially when the gossip involved someone as famous as Harry, it was one of the downsides of his success. But if you had made the mistake, then you needed to face the consequences of the mistake as well. If you lost friends or if people stopped trusting you then, so be it. You had done something awful and you had to tough it out.

“Hey.” You heard and turned around to see your friend Monty stepping out onto the small balcony that came with his apartment. 

“Hi.” You responded with a small smile and he came over and plopped down into the seat beside you and exhaled slowly, like he was letting something off of his chest. 

You were crashing in his guest bedroom for the duration of your stay and were taking advantage of the Southern California sunsets while you had the chance to. Your trips to America were mostly to New York and it was so different than this. People were in a rush here too, like in every big city, but they were so much nicer about it here. Well, so long as your decision making didn’t take time out of their day. Regardless, you weren’t ready to go back to the reality surely awaiting you in London.

“You alright?” He asked and you nodded, “Sure? You’ve been…weird.” He said with a small smile and you sighed.

“I did a bad thing, Monty.” You said and he frowned, “A really bad thing.”

“D-do you want to talk about it?” He asked and you smiled.

“Depends…just promise you won’t judge me too harshly.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He replied and you smiled, but then it faded away and you sighed.

“I…had sex with one of my friends. Multiple times. But he’s…in a relationship.” You admitted and he turned to you.

“That’s it?” He asked seriously, but seconds later a smile broke past his lips and you chuckled.

“Thanks for trying…” You mumbled and he laughed.

“Yeah, of course.” He chuckled, “But ummm, seriously, there are worse things you could do, Y/N.” He said.

“I suppose so…”

“More seriously though, we all make mistakes. And I know you well and I know that you wouldn’t just do that for anyone. You must really care about him if you were willing to break all the rules for him.”

“I do. But feelings don’t justify hurting another person. And well…I ran into his girlfriend at the gig last week and she said that she knew we had slept together and so I assured her that it was just those couple times but she didn’t know it was a couple of times or that it was recent. She thought this had happened while he was still single, which the first time we did, he was!” You explained, “But her confrontation made me panic and I…spilled my guts! So I…did a bad thing and then probably ruined his relationship on top of that.” You sighed, still feeling the guilt making you feel sick to your stomach.

“Let me stop you right there.” Monty smiled, “You didn’t ruin their relationship. He ruined it himself by pursuing you. If he truly loved the person he was with, nothing could make him stray. So stop taking responsibility for things that aren’t yours to be responsible for. You hear me?” He asked and you nodded a few times with a small smile. “Next thing, forgive yourself in your own and don’t do it ever again. You learned the lesson didn’t you?”

“Yeah.” You confirmed.

“Then stop torturing yourself and move on.” He advised, “It might take time, but take the first step now. Sitting here and torturing yourself over something that’s in the past is not going to do anything for you or for them.”

“He hasn’t…reached out or anything. I really thought he would.” You said with a small voice and Monty hummed.

“But, you know what that means then, right? That he’s…made his decision and it’s not you.” Monty stated and you exhaled shakily as a few silent tears streaked down your face. 

“You’re right.” You concurred before looking ahead again, watching the sky change colors as the sun sunk deeper and deeper into the horizon. 

********************

You were finally getting home after the near 11 hour flight from LA. You were nervous to run into Harry because you still hadn’t heard from him and assumed that it was because of the same thing Monty had told you, he was working things out with his girlfriend. She had wanted you out of his life, she said it to you herself. So it made sense why he hadn’t reached out to you. You imagined that he hated himself a little bit for doing it this way, but if it gave his partner peace, he would sacrifice his preferred method of dealing with shit and find closure another way. You were similar to him in this as well, you wanted to apologize to him and explain that you didn’t air his dirty laundry on purpose! Even if he still decided to never speak to you again, at least you’d get to say your piece! You’d definitely prefer his silence from that than the ‘pretend Y/N doesn’t exist’ method he was using now. But considering you might not have the chance to do that, you too needed to find another way in which to close the door on Harry for good.

Your thoughts were racing as you cycled through your tasks in a disorganized fashion. You had started unpacking your luggage to put things in the washing machine but then decided that you needed to brew yourself some coffee to help keep you awake so that you wouldn’t have jet lag. But while you waited for your coffee to brew you decided to have a quick body shower so that you could complete all your tasks in a fresh and comfy outfit. And when you emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel you groaned and saw the outfit you wanted to wear was sitting in the dirty laundry portion of your suitcase. You were starting to get annoyed and decided you needed your caffeine immediately. And when you made it to the kitchen you saw your empty mug sitting under your Nespresso because you forgot to add water to it and that was your last straw.

All of the anger and frustration that you had pent up inside from the situation with Harry, how tired you were, and how scatter-brained you felt just bubbled over and you grabbed the mug in fit of rage and threw it on the ground, shattering it into an irreparable heap of ceramic.

“Fuck my life!” You shouted, your chest was rising and falling dramatically as you started to get choked up. You sniffled as your tears blurred your vision and you started to cry. You’d been trying to keep it together, to not be upset at any of it because you had been the one in the wrong, but it still hurt. It hurt to know that Harry had feelings for you but not enough to choose you. It hurt to know that your friendship with him was more than likely over. It hurt to know that you’d compromised a part of yourself, that you’d stooped so fucking low for absolutely nothing at all in return! All you’d truly gained was a fuck ton of self-loathing and you couldn’t pretend that you didn’t deserve it because you absolutely did.

*****************

Harry’s POV

When Harry’s girlfriend called and confronted him about what you’d shared with her at whatever party you two were at, he was livid. He immediately thought the worst thing, that you were trying to get him back or to sabotage his relationship. But when the initial wave of rage subsided and he was able to think a bit more rationally, he recalled how you’d also respected the fact that, that’s where he would be focusing all of his efforts. And you had said that you cared for him and if that were true, you would never do anything to hurt him on purpose. He had to believe that and he had to cling to that. 

When his girlfriend returned home she gave him an ultimatum, if he wanted things to move forward in their relationship then he had to leave you out of his life. He felt sick to his stomach upon hearing that so he’s not sure why he agreed to it so easily, but he did. It had been weeks now and the more days passed by, his regret in this decision only grew. He was sitting in mediocrity, in routine, and a lot spite towards himself. Did he deserve it, yes, but he couldn’t see a world in which they could make it past this with the way she was acting. She would just pretend she wasn’t upset about it and then when they’d have a disagreement it always got thrown back in his face, no matter how much he apologized for it. When he’d ask what he needed to do to make it better she’d say she didn’t know or when he wanted to help her understand why he did what he’d done, she didn’t want to face it! But when she’d get frustrated about it, she’d blow up on him and not let him respond. And it started to sink in that he had made a mistake in trying to force things to work with her and he had to say something.

This is why he found himself waiting up for her to get back in from a rehearsal. He needed to get some things off his chest. Harry was one to talk things out, he didn’t like to sit on things and let them brew and fester like she did. And that’s what he’d been doing a lot of lately, just sitting in dissatisfaction. When he heard the front door open he sat up, more than prepared to just get the conversation over with. 

“Hey babe, still up?” He heard her approaching.

“Yeah. Waited up.” He responded and she smiled as she came through the door and directly to the bed and kissed his lips. He was a little stiff in returning the kiss and she sniggered, “What’s the matter?” She asked, with a dimpled smile adorning her face. And as he looked into her eyes he just felt the need to be honest with her.

“Ummm…I…I can’t do this anymore.” He said softly and her smiled faded. She blinked a few times, as if she were trying to determine if this was real or not.

“Seriously, Harry?” She scoffed with an angry but surprised expression on her face.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized as he looked deep into her eyes to show his sincerity, but soon her eyes were narrowing into angry slits.

“Wait…Are you dumping me for her?” She asked and he sighed. “Oh my god…” she mumbled incredulously as she stood and paced around as Harry got out of the bed and walked up to her and grabbed her shoulders from behind and she whipped around, “Don’t fucking touch me!” She shouted at him and he frowned but nodded. “What does she have that I don’t, Harry?” She asked sadly and he shook he sighed. He didn’t want to go down that road, she never saw when she was in the wrong and it would just make things worse, but he needed to be honest.

“It’s not that there’s anything wrong with you.” He explained, “It’s just different with her and she’s more…open to things th-that you don’t like and that I find myself…wanting more of.” He explained and she scoffed.

“That’s it?! All the sex shit I refuse to do?” She asked through a scoff, “Are you fucking kidding me?! You know, she’s only into that shit because she’s fucked up, Harry! Only a fucked up person can find pleasure in being used and degraded that way!” His features furrowed in offense.

“So what does that make me then?” She frowned when she realized what she’d just said.

“Harry, it’s not-”

“No, please, give it to me straight! It was my idea, I’m the one who brought that into our affair and she liked it. So if she’s fucked up for liking it, then what am I for wanting it?” He questioned and she shook her head.

“I just…I don’t understand it.” She said, “It’s not…normal.” She elaborated and he smiled sarcastically.

“Yeah alright, let’s say you’re right and it’s not. So what we do is normal?” He asked her, “Just the same thing, over and over and over again? After a fucking year together you refuse to even try new things with me! All you do is judge me for it? It’s like you don’t trust me!” 

“I don’t! I don’t trust you when you’re in that headspace, Harry! What if you hurt me? What if you can’t stop?!” He rolled his eyes.

“I’m not a fucking monster!” He shouted back, “That’s the fucking point of all of it, to exercise control or to relinquish it! It’s all a two way street! But quite frankly, it never has been with you…” he said and she scoffed.

“I do things for you!” She shouted back and he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, your half-assed head really makes me feel close to you.” He murmured sarcastically and she groaned.

“You know that I don’t like to because you’re too big for my comfort and I don’t want to get all messy and…it doesn’t make me feel good! It makes me feel cheap and used!” She shouted back and he nodded.

“Yeah, how do you think I feel whenever I’m the one pulling all the weight in our sex life and in this relationship? I want to enjoy it, I want feel good in this relationship too!” He exclaimed, “I fucking dread it when I know you want to fuck! Or when you’re upset at something! I really fucking do!” He confessed and it felt so good to say it and she frowned deeply upon hearing him say that.

“So that’s all that matters to you? The sex?” She asked sadly.

“Of course not, but it’s pretty fucking important to me.” He said and she rolled her eyes.

“And what about everything else? What about the emotional and intellectual connection we have? W-we have that down at the very least don’t we?” She asked and he sighed.

“Sure…but it’s…more w-with her.” He said and she shook her head in disbelief, “There are things about how she is that just…resonate more with me. It’s not just the sex, it’s a lot of things that we deal with more similarly.”

“Okay, like what then?” She asked and he sighed.

“Like now, when we’re arguing about something or needing to discuss something serious. You…just pretend like nothing is wrong until you can’t handle it anymore. And when I try to talk about it then this happens! You just shout and shout and never fucking listen t-to what I’m trying to say or how I feel. And when I try to bring that up, you always say you’re not ready to talk about it!”

“Yeah, I like to think through things, Harry! Not argue in circles!” She defended herself and he groaned.

“We only argue in circles because you don’t listen to anything I’m trying to say to you!” He explained already feeling exasperated, “You’re doing it now! Things don’t have to escalate into a fight whenever we disagree about something, we could discuss it. That’s the point of talking it through then and there. While emotions are fresh and the situation is at hand! You use your words to communicate how you feel and what you want. I’m not a mind reader, I don’t know what you’re thinking or how long you’re gonna take to think about things, at least communicate that!” He explained and she sighed.

“Well, that’s not how I like to do things.”

“Well, there are two people in this relationship. Two different people with their own needs and expectations, not just you.” He said and she scoffed.

“Oh please! And all this with Y/N wasn’t just about you? Fucking someone else while we were together, that wasn’t selfish of you?”

“Of course it was! I know it was and it was wrong of me. I recognize that I made a mistake in going to another person.” He accepted, “And I’m sorry that you’ve been hurt in the process. She told me, multiple times to just talk to you so that I wouldn’t have to go find happiness somewhere else and I tried! I really fucking tried and it’s just…not happening for me with you.” He said sadly.

“And what, she’s going to make you happy?” She asked sarcastically.

“I don’t know, but I have to try, if only to rule out the fact that she’s not the one for me.” Harry said and that’s when she started to cry. 

Of course he felt awful about it, but just now, hearing her even say some of the things she had said made him feel like he didn’t fully know her. And more than that, the things she had said were mean and offensive. He understood that she was hurt, but he’d never considered that she could stoop that low, even when angry.

“I fucking hate you.” She seethed as she stormed off into the ensuite and he sighed as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Moments later she returned with the clothes from her designated drawers piled up in her arms and she dropped them on the bed. “Can you at least grab my suitcase from the top shelf? I can’t reach it.” She said and he nodded and did as she asked.

“Do you want me t-to give you some space?” He asked and she sniffled.

“Do whatever you fucking want, Harry.” She mumbled through her tears as she continued putting clothes into her large suitcase. He sighed and stood before going down to the kitchen to set the kettle for some tea. 

It was about twenty minutes later when she called him up to help her bring her things down as her friend would be arriving soon. He did just that and soon she was coming down the staircase with her duffle bag hanging off of her shoulder.

“Where are you going to stay?” He asked.

“With a cast mate.” She mumbled, “At least until I can go back home.” She said and he nodded.

“Can you just let me know when you’re in safe for the night?”

“Oh, now you care…” she mumbled.

“I do care about you. I have this entire time, I just-”

“Care about her more.” She said plainly.

“I was going to say that I’m just not in love with you anymore.” He said and she sighed.

“You know, I don’t think I am either.” She confessed, “I thought we were fine but…I guess, fine is rather anticlimactic in a relationship.” She said morosely.

“Yeah.” He concurred. Then, her phone chimed to indicate her ride was here and she went over to the security keypad by the door and opened up the gate for her friend to get through. He helped her get her things outside and into the boot of the car. She came over with her duffle and he grabbed it from her and neatly set it beside her suitcase before pulling the door of the boot down gently.

“If I find anything else of yours should I send it to your flat in New York?” He asked.

“Yes, please.” She confirmed.

“Okay, no problem. I really am sorry, I know that I went about things the complete wrong way, but-”

“You know what, just save it, Harry. I really don’t give a fuck.” She said with a tired smile and he licked over his lips and nodded awkwardly before clearing his throat.

“Well, then…I uh-”

“I really hope that fucking whore is worth it for whatever time you have together.” She cut him off, “And I hope it’s painfully miserable for you two and that she cheats on you too. And when she does, because a whore can’t help herself, and I inevitably hear about it through the grapevine, just know I’m going to be so fucking ecstatic. I will not hesitate to reach out to you just to rub it in your stupid, fucking face, Harry.” She said spitefully and he couldn’t help but smirk as she wished him ill. He just had never seen this side of her.

“Alright, love, you do that. Use up all your free time to keep tabs on me.” He mumbled sarcastically.

“Fuck you, Harry!” She spat before walking around him to get into the car. He sighed as he walked back up to the front door and he heard her shouting at her friend that she didn’t want to talk about it and to just go. So the car started again and he waved them off with a smile as she stuck her hand out the window and flipped him the bird as they took off into the night.

Yeah, he deserved everything she’d said. He’d definitely been a bad boyfriend, particularly towards the end there, but he felt relieved. Relieved that he no longer had to be the only one compromising. Relieved that he’d no longer have to skirt around things and keep shit bottled up inside to keep her comfortable. And relieved that at least now, he’d have the chance to explore having more with you. He truly had no idea if during your time apart you’d managed to move on fully. Or if his silence over the last few weeks had made you hate him or if it’d completely broken your heart to the point that you no longer wanted anything with him. But regardless of all of that, he was certain of one thing, which was that you’d at least hear him out and let him apologize and explain. If it were his ex that he was trying to fix things with, well, he’d assume that her reception would be similar to her goodbye to him. Even if you wanted nothing to do with him in a romantic or sexual sense anymore, he knew you’d still find it in your heart to stay friends with him and he reckoned that even that would be enough for him.

…. A FEW DAYS LATER ….

You had been doing a bit better now that you were back home. You’d come clean to Goldie about what had transpired between you and Harry. And while she was shocked and disappointed in the both of you, she was still there for you and let you cry out your hurt and disappointment. What you feared would happen, being ostracized and judged harshly, wasn’t the case, thankfully. In fact, Goldie had just invited you out with her Sam, and Paul. She assured you that she hadn’t heard of Harry joining, but you wanted to err on the side of caution for the time being and respect the very clear distance that had been put in place by him. Even if Harry didn’t show up, if his girlfriend saw that you were out with more of his friends it might make her feel like you were purposefully encroaching into his life. You had already done enough to complicate things between them, so you needed to be mindful of things like this.

“Thanks, G. It’s sweet of you but I’m just not up for it tonight. Especially not with Paul around. If she sees something from the paps or even social media it could upset her and I don’t want to risk upsetting her even more.” You explained.

“Oh, babe…I appreciate you wanting to do the noble thing, but you really need to get out a bit to get all this off your mind, you know?” She countered and you smiled.

“How about this? I make a reservation at Cecconi’s for tomorrow in the late afternoon. We have an early dinner with a few Negronis and that phenomenal mixed berries cheesecake they serve! And then, when we’re well buzzed, we go to SOHO House? We can get drunk and flirt with people, and network.” You grinned as you giggled.

“We have to look fit. I mean FIT!” She emphasized and you giggled again.

“Yeah, you can even come over and get ready together!” You offered since you lived closest to SOHO. 

“Alright! We can make a whole day out of it! I can bring bagels from Papo’s! And we can have Prosecco’s and coconut water so that we’re drunk, but hydrated!” She shared excitedly.

“Yeah, alright.” You agreed.

“I’ll pop in around 9:30 or 10?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect.” You agreed and she squealed happily.

“I’m so excited! Can’t wait!”

“Neither can I!” You assured happily.

“Ah, alright babes, I’m gonna let you go. Have a good night, yeah?”

“You too, G. See ya’ later.”

“See ya’!” She chirped before hanging up. 

You smiled to yourself as you finished packing your left over dinner. You then headed up to your room to just wash up and get into your pajamas so that you wouldn’t have to get up and do all this if you accidentally fell asleep while watching TV. You went over to your window and opened it up to let the cool temperature of the night waft in. You then went about and lit a few candles before turning down you bed and switching on your sunset lamp, projecting a warm pink and orange collage on your ceiling. You set down the remote on your bedside table and then bit your lip as you saw your wand vibrator’s light blinking steadily as it charged up. 

Next on your list was your weed, it was just three prerolls that you’d smuggled in from LA. Stupid and risky, yes. But worth it. You grabbed one of the little tubes and went to set it down by your bean bag sofa chair along with the ashtray and lighter in your hand. You then headed downstairs to grab a glass of water and your dark chocolate KitKat that you’d purchased earlier when you’d decided on how you’d spend your evening. You were switching off all the lights and then stopped before the front door for just a moment, and then your doorbell rang. You flinched in fright at the unlikely coincidence, and chills tingled your spine as the chime sounded through the townhome. It wasn’t all that late, but a little too late for deliveries. You quietly padded up to the door and tiptoed a little bit to look through the peep hole and froze.

Your mouth slightly dropped open in shock when you saw Harry standing at your doorstep looking right to left as he tapped his foot nervously. You felt a lump forming in your throat and your heart rate started to rise rapidly. You were tingling all over with excitement, fear, dread, and happiness. Suddenly he looked right at the peephole, it made your insides churn violently as you made eye contact through the little lens.

“Y/N?” He asked and you relished at the sound of his voice, but felt your chest ache because he needed to leave.

“You shouldn’t be here, Harry.” You said through the door.

“I need to be here, angel.” He said  and you felt your chest tighten up. You pulled back and turned the locks to open the door and as soon as you were in front of him he just chuckled happily and stepped forward, pushing his way inside so that he could wrap you up in his arms. He just threw the door back before he pulled you into his chest. “Hi, angel.” He hummed lowly as he leaned his face against the side of your head.

“Hi!” You laughed happily as you settled into his warmth. You were pleasantly surprised that he was here. In the flesh! You were touching him, breathing him in. You gently tickled his back with your nails and he hummed.

“Missed you, angel.” He hummed and you smiled.

“Missed you too.” You responded, “Are you alright?” You asked him and started to pull back.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” He smiled, “I ummm…I ended things with her.” He said of his girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend now. 

“I’m so sorry. Are you sure you’re alright?” You asked and he nodded again.

“Even more so now.” He flirted and you sniggered a bit and you just looked at each other in silence for a few seconds, “Look, I’m so sorry-”

“I’m so sorry, Harry-” You both spoke at the same time and chuckled.

“You don’t need to apologize.” He said, “I know you’d never do anything to hurt me on purpose.” He said and you nodded.

“Never, H.” You assured him and he smiled at your reassurance.

“So…what the hell happened?!” He asked through a chuckle and you groaned.

“Don’t make me relive it…” You whined, “You’re lucky that I didn’t jump off the rooftop then and there. It was mortifying.” You giggled and he tutted.

“I need to know!” He insisted and you groaned.

“H, I had a whole plan for the evening.” You muttered.

“Did you? You were gonna go out?” He asked and you shook your head.

“No, they were…homebody plans.” You said coyly and he smiled.

“Yeah? Walk me through the plan then.” He pressed and you bit your lip. 

“Mmm…was gonna smoke a joint…” you hummed and his eyebrows arched up as he smirked, “While listening to smutty stuff…and probably get off before just getting to bed.” you confessed and he bit his lip.

“Are you just trying to make this sexual?” He asked and you laughed and shook your head.

“No, I swear! I have a whole set up in my room.” You giggled and he knocked his head back as he laughed.

“Well, d’you mind if I distract you from your plans for a little bit?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Not at all.” You assured and he smiled, “Come on.” You said and grabbed his hand as you guided him through your townhome and to your bedroom. 

Harry saw the beautiful pink glow of your bedroom from down the hall. And he could also smell the delicious floral but warm and musky scent wafting from your bedroom. He inhaled deeply as he crossed the threshold and immediately went over to see the candles you had burning. He didn’t see a name apart from the brand on the vessel and as he glanced down to see if there was perhaps a lid close by he saw your vibrator plugged in and charging and he chuckled a bit, he had definitely intruded tonight. But maybe if things went well he could improve upon your plans. Normally, he would just go up and grab you if he wanted you and he was certain you wouldn’t object. But if he got to have sex with you tonight, he wanted to show you another side of what it could be like because of his feelings for you. You two were always fighting to keep the tender and loving bit out of your sessions, but he could still be kinky and sprinkle in the loving bits if you were open to trying for more with him.

“You really weren’t kidding.” He said and you turned back to see him pointing at your toy and sputtered on a laugh.

“I really wasn’t. It’s alright though, I can do that any other day.” You chuckled as he walked over and then plopped on your bed to slip out of his sneakers. “Ummm, do you want some of this?” You asked him, raising the joint and he nodded. “Okay, so I don’t have another seat to offer you, this is my designated smoking chair.” You explained to the bean bag sofa chair.

“You have a smoking chair?” He questioned you and you sniggered.

“I do! I don’t smoke often at all but I don’t want to stink up any of my nice furniture when I get the craving for it.” You explained and he hummed in amusement at your logic.

“I see…well, I can sit on the floor just get me a cushion for my bum.” 

“Okay.” You hummed and grabbed one of the round, velvet cushions you had as decor on your bed and set it beside the bean bag. You then settled in as he came over and with his foot, guided the cushion to the front of your seat. You glanced up at him and he smiled down at you.

“Open up.” He said and you parted your legs so that he could sit and nestle between them. Once he was comfy you leaned over him and handed him the joint and lighter. He sparked it up and took the first drag before handing it back to you, seconds later he was blowing the smoke out the large window and then you did the same. “So…how’d it happen?” He asked, bringing up your conversation from downstairs.

“Well, my friend Monty was hired as entertainment for the party and he asked me to tag in as the bassist and I agreed. I saw her from the stage at one point and smiled but she did not look pleased. So I decided to just not interact unless we were forced to because I didn’t want to stir up any trouble for you.” You explained.

“So you were forced to speak to her?”

“Yes! During the break in the set we both happened to walk up to the same bar line! Just my fucking luck, you know…?” you muttered as you recalled and he chuckled and turned around to face you instead so that you could converse better. “We said hello to each other and like…she seemed fine by then. Maybe it was stupid of me to ask how you were, but I was just making small talk because you’re the only thing we really have in common in terms of acquaintances.” you explained and he nodded, “And then she said that she’s sure I was nice but that she wanted me to stay away from you because she didn’t trust me.” You shared, his features turned down as he hummed in understanding, “And then she finished that with saying, “I know you slept with him”, that was it. Just like that.” You explained and his eyes widened. “Yeah!” You laughed nervously, as the feelings from that moment resurfaced again.

“Jesus…”

“I know…I was frazzled!” You exclaimed before taking another drag and handing the joint back to him. You held it in for a minute as he took his own drag, and then you blew out the smoke towards the window. “Just hearing it like that, in such a confrontational manner, I thought that meant that she knew-knew.” You said and he nodded, “So I just started apologizing frantically and assuring her that it hadn’t happened any more than those times and that you loved her, but I guess you told her something else because she looked really confused when I said that.”

“I just told her that we had been together before she and I were together, just about the one time before.” He said and you hummed.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to fuck things up for you two. She just started to ask me how many times and when! And I was…so embarrassed and nervous and ashamed of myself.” You pouted and he reached for your calf and rubbed his thumb up and down your leg soothingly.

“I’m sorry, angel.” He replied. “I must admit I thought the worst at first, but then I just…I knew you’d never do that to me.” He said and you nodded.

“I wouldn’t, H. I know that it was a mistake and you were trying your best to not make the same mistake with me again-”

“Hey, look at me.” He said as he set the joint down on the ashtray you’d set out, “The only mistake I made was not choosing you from the very beginning. Even after the first time I was blown away by you. I was fucked from the start.” He said and your gaze softened, “I…I’ve felt things with you that I haven’t felt before. And while I…love that we’re compatible in the sex part of things, I’ve also given some thought to what things might’ve been like if we were together. And Y/N, I think it would be really good.” He said earnestly and you smiled softly at him. “Even just in the glimpses I’ve had of real life situations I’ve been in with you, I know we’re compatible in those parts too. You actually listen to me to understand me, not just to respond, you know? You think about me and consider me, even before yourself sometimes.” He said. “I know that…I haven’t done a lot of that for you previously, but I would like the opportunity to show you that I can do that for you and more.” He said and you smiled.

“To be fair, you did try, I just never let you before.” You added as you raked your fingers into his hair and he leaned into you, “I’ve also felt things with you that I’ve never felt before.” You confessed, “But it…scares me, H.” You confessed and he pouted a little bit, “Not because of you, but because of me. I fear that I would get lost in it.” You said and he smiled.

“Why is that a bad thing? I could get lost with you.” He mused and you giggled.

“We’re too old for that kind of thing, H.”

“Yeah, but that’s part of it, isn’t it? The honeymoon phase? Relishing in love without a care for what could befall us?” He asked and you smiled, “Get lost in love, in the excitement, in the sex…” he hummed with a grin, “That’s literally the best part.”

“It is…” you smiled in agreement.

“You know, when I think about you, I can’t imagine that the initial excitement will ever go away. We’d have so much fun together.” He said and you smiled.

“We would. But what about when things get…hard. Like when you’re touring or on other projects?” You asked and he thought about for a moment.

“We could be like Paul and Linda in WINGS.” He suggested with a small smile and you giggled, “No! Seriously! Hear me out…you could join the band! We could do all of it together, like Mitch and Sarah!” He said and you smiled, “Create, write, and perform…I know you’d love life on the road. And then just…do life together.”

“It does sound amazing.” You admitted with a smile.

“It does. And I know that I’m just out of a relationship, but things are a little bit different than just a normal breakup. We had something together and I want to explore it with you. I want to have the chance to make you happy how you deserve, angel. No more bits and pieces of attention and affection. If you give me your heart, I promise I’ll keep it safe.” He appealed.

You caressed his face gently, “My heart’s been yours for a while now, Harry. And even through all of this, I think you’ve done a wonderful job of protecting it.” You assured him. “I don’t want to ignore this anymore. I just feel so good when we’re together or even just in each other’s space.” You said softly. “You know, sometimes it feels like I’m connected to you in a certain way. Or maybe it’s my imagination…” you mumbled, excusing your ramblings. 

“We are.” He assured you, “I feel that too. It aches a little when we’re apart. And I just…sense it when you’re close by.”

“Yeah?” you smiled inquisitively and he nodded.

“Believe it or not, I was sitting out there for about half an hour, trying to decide if it was too bold of me to show up here unannounced. I had no idea if you were in or not. And then I suddenly felt this sense of urgency and came up to your door and here we are now.” He shared.

“Ummm, actually…when you arrived at the door I was about to go back to my room and just stopped at the front door for a few moments. I don’t know why, I just felt like I needed to. And then you rang the doorbell.” You shared with a smile, “Creepy, huh?” You asked.

“Mmm, I think it’s rather normal.”

“Being that in tune with another person is not normal.” You voiced your opinion, “I think it’s quite special.”

“I meant it’s normal for us.” He said and you grinned.

“Oh, then you’re 100% right.” You giggled and he smiled and leaned forward to kiss your knee through your pajama pants. You smiled down at him and when his eyes glanced up to meet yours again you sighed dreamily, “Just getting to be there with you is already way better than the plans I had made for myself.” You said through a giggle and he chuckled.

“Mmm…I think we could redirect things back to the original concept.” He smirked and you giggled but then your face turned serious.

“We don’t have to if you’re not ready for that. I’m not even horny or anything, was gonna build up to it with the spicy audios.” You confessed, “Although, well…seeing you definitely made me horny.” You chuckled bashfully, “So I am now but this is also good. We don’t have to if you’re not, you know…” You finished explaining.

“Oh, I definitely am, angel.” He chuckled, “Can’t help it when I’m around you.” He smiled, “But I…want to try something a little different this time.” He said and you nodded.

“Okay, what is it?”

“I wanna be more in my feelings while we do it.” He said and you bit your lip to suppress a nervous-excited smile.

“Umm…o-okay.”

“Okay. I’m just letting you know because…I know that we already get a little wild, but with my heart in it too, things could get a little bit more intense.” He warned you.

“That’s alright.” You nodded.

“And can I…ask you something?” He looked a bit nervous upon getting his request out.

“Of course.” You nodded.

“W-when I…degraded you and overpowered you or things like that, where I was…rough and harsh on you…” he started and you nodded, wordlessly communicating that he continue, “Did you do that for me? Like…did you agree to it like t-to please me. Because I like that or is it…well, was it for you too?” He asked.

“Of course I did it to make you happy but because I like it too.” You shared, “I like it quite a bit. Maybe a little too much.” You smiled as you shared.

“Do you think that…that means we’re…fucked up?” He asked, you could see he was feeling vulnerable for being self-conscious about it. 

In your opinion, the last place a person should be feeling ashamed in was in their sexuality. A person’s sexuality is such a vulnerable part of them, it reflects your deepest darkest fantasies, your id. It was the home of the libido according to Freud. And it could be a little kinky and perverted and maybe even a little scary to confront. But the beauty in that was that how well a person dominated that side of them, was a clear indicator of the amount of ego strength that person has. Which can only mean that a person has a very righteous and strong sense of conscientiousness, the superego. So in short, no, their preferences did not make them “fucked up”. It made them human. It made them normal. And indulging in that part of themselves in the appropriate setting helped them be able to flourish in all of the other roles they had in the world. Like being musicians, an uncle, a creators, a friend to others, a good person…

“Definitely not.” You said reassuringly. “Not if you don’t feel wrong for it.” You added, “Do you?” You inquired and he shook his head.

“It feels….liberating.”

“How so?” You asked with a smirk…you were ready to get started, “When you decide that you want to fuck me, what goes through your head?” He licked his lips and smiled slightly.

“Well I think,  I always get the things I want. And when I want that, when I want you, I just…take you. Because I can.” He smirked.

“So you’re selfish.” You grinned and he shrugged.

“I tend to be…one of my many flaws.” He smiled and you hummed.

“You know how I am…hyper independent. A control freak a bit…” you said and he nodded, “My instincts tell me not to be, to just take what comes my way…deep inside I know I’m actually powerless. And while it’s terrifying, there is something freeing about that. Because while it makes me vulnerable to really shitty things, I also makes me vulnerable to really wonderful things. Like getting bent over your hotel room bed with your cock in my pussy and your fingers in my ass…” You laughed and he did as well. “So, you give me what I need and I give you what you need, even the secret parts of us connect well. So yeah, it’s fucking freeing to be seen and understood on every level. We’re so fucking lucky to exist at the same time.” You said softly with a smile. 

Harry didn’t even hesitate to kneel up and smash his lips into yours. His kiss was ardent, heavy with affection and lust. Your tongues smeared together before he sucked your bottom lip between his lips. He gently bit into it, increasing his bite force bit by bit until you dug your nails into his shoulder. Your kiss simmered down from one second to the next and became so sweet. Just small and playful little pecks interrupted by giddy smiles and soft giggles and mumbles about starting to feel the weed. 

“The back of my knee is tickling!” You giggled and he sniggered, “Ughhh, scratch it please. Make it stop.” You requested and he pulled the leg of your pants up to be able to scratch the back of your knee, “Thank you.” You giggled and pecked his lips quickly. “Wanna get in bed?”

“Yeah, angel.” He mumbled and then he picked up the joint, “Let’s finish this off so that it feels extra nice.” He instructed as he sparked it up for you. “Want you to be a little easier for me.” He said and you smirked as he took his drag.

“Don’t need to be high to be easy for you.” You chuckled and he did as well and kissed you gently before shotgunning the smoke he’d exhaled into your mouth.

“Maybe not but it’s more this way.” He said before kissing you again and handing over the joint.

Once you’d finished it off you both stood and Harry started to undress you. He was getting your panties off when you handed the butt to him and he smashed it into the ashtray to properly extinguish it. He stood and then pulled you over to your bed, you happily plopped on it as he got undressed. He instructed you to grab your vibrator, so you crawled to the other side of the bed and unplugged it from the charger. Your pussy pulsed and fluttered in anticipation. You wanted to feel the silicone buzzing into your clit so badly, you were growing impatient and even more wet than before. You wriggled and rubbed your thighs together to get some friction going. Your labia glided together with ease from how aroused you were as you watched Harry undoing the buttons and fly on his jeans. You’d give anything to kiss down his abs and smooch down his happy trail until you got a mouthful of his cock. You moaned as you watched him pull down his briefs along with his jeans, his thick, long cock sprung up, wobbling about a bit from the sudden release. You licked over your lips. He watched you salivate over his cock, so he knelt onto the bed and put it in your face.

“Get me in your mouth then.” He mumbled and you immediately parted your lips and started to suck on the tip for a bit before starting to stroke the rest. His soft moans of pleasure were making your skin tingle, you’d missed the sound of him. And the weight of him on your tongue. And the taste of his skin, and it’s natural scent. “Fuck yeah, angel. Take more..I know you can take more.” He said as he pushed your head lower, letting himself dip his toe in the kinky forceful stuff you enjoyed for just a moment, “Shit!” He chuckled as his abs tensed, “Yes, baby…That’s fucking good, just…just wind it down for me. That’s it. Nice and slow, angel. Deeper…a little more.” He hummed and then groaned as he settled just a bit past the back of your mouth, you were holding back a gag, “Fuck, can’t believe how it all fits in there.” You couldn’t hold it back anymore and gagged around him which make him moan in pleasure, “Yeah, gag on it, angel.” He grunted and held himself in before gently pulling back to let you catch your breath. He did this a few more times until your chin was sticky with your drool and his pre-cum. “Is your little pussy throbbing yet?” He asked and you nodded as you wiped your mouth on the back of your hand. “Go wash up.” He said and you nodded and hurried to the ensuite to rinse off your face. 

He knew how much you hated to feel sticky in the face. You soon came back into the room to find him playing with the vibrator. He was clicking through the vibration patterns before he settled on half-note pulses and then pressed it to his frenulum. You stood and watched from the darkness of the bathroom, watching his brows crease and jaw clench as he pleasured his cock with the vibrating wand. He was a fucking masterpiece, and with you being a little high it was making you even more needy for him. You slowly approached and he glanced up to you.

“I think I need to get one of these.” He chuckled before biting his lip.

“Yeah, it makes me come like a fountain.” You shared through a chuckle and he groaned.

“Yeah?” You nodded, “Show me.” He said as he extended it towards you and you bit your lip nervously and climbed onto the bed. You settled into the pillows and he passed over the baby pink vibrator. He settled in beside you and kissed the top of your cheek. “Go on, then. Play with yourself.” He instructed and you didn’t need to be told twice. 

You spread your legs and slowly pressed the vibrator against your clit and immediately gasped. You were already sopping wet, so when you added more pressure it slipped a bit and Harry groaned as he watched you adjust a bit to get it back on your clit. He grabbed your thigh and pulled it open so that he could see you better. His mouth was watering as he watched you getting off, his fingers were itching to touch you in between your legs. He wanted to get down there and breathe you in and taste you until he had his fill of you. He only lasted a few more moments before he kissed you deeply and then shifted around until he was down between your legs and watching up close as your little cunt throbbed and oozed slick. He snatched the vibrator from your hand and shut it off as he delved in. He shook his head back and forth, wiggling to get his tongue in even deeper into your little hole. He wanted to taste everything you were giving right from the source.

“Oh fuck, Harry! Fuck yes, just like that!” You encouraged him as you ground up against his mouth. You were obsessed with the scratchy feeling of his facial hair pricking against your smooth pussy. And you loved how he held you open and licked from your entrance to your clit, flicking the sensitive little bud over and over with the tip of his tongue until you were gasping as your teetered on the edge of your orgasm. “I-I’m gonna come! Please, let me come!” You announced in a higher pitched voice, he hummed against you to signal his permission. Your muscles were completely tense as you held onto the feeling as long as possible until your first orgasm burst from inside of you.

Coming with his help was different. It was your quality of work without having to do any of the actual work. He read your body in ways that made it impossible for you not to give in. It felt so good to be free falling into that gratifying, warm, and tingly feelings. You loved how it tickled just right that it made your toes curl. And hearing him and feeling him moan into your leaking pussy made your eyes roll back before squeezing shut. You loved how he feasted on you. He was kissing your pussy as passionately as he’d kissed your mouth. You were just basking in how happy he was to be here with you. Your hips arched up as you tried to escape his mouth but he locked your thighs in his arms and held you down. It was getting to be too much! You hadn’t even had a chance to fully come down from your orgasm and you were already well on your way to another one. You were writhing and yelped as he nipped at your clit. He chuckled, knowing you didn’t mind a bit of pain. Just as you were about to get to a place where the tingles fully faded he parted his lips and sucked your clit between his lips. His tongue managed to just barely run over it, it was making your had spin. Your thighs were starting to tremble as he was forcing you past the point of no return.

“Harry!” You yelped as he sucked with more force, “Oh! It’s too much! Please! Please, no more!” You pleaded as he forced you down and open and kept sucking. “Fuck! Please, please!” You cried desperately as you writhed beneath him. Suddenly, the most obscene moan broke from your throat involuntarily as your hips and legs spasmed as you started to squirt. Your eyes squeezed shut as you arched up as the pleasure swept through your body. You were just about to come down from it when you heard the vibrator come on and then he was being held just over your clit, barely ticking the surface of your throbbing little bundle. You were panting now just whining pitifully as your little clit was vibrated so quickly. Next thing you knew, two of Harry’s fingers were sinking into your pussy and stretching you out. You swore your eyes crossed as he curved his fingers up and prodded at your g-spot a few times before you were moaning obscenely again as your cum gushed out of your entrance.

“Fuck yeah, angel. Squirt again for me. You can do it, baby. You can give me another one. One more for, daddy.” He grunted as he poured his fingers into you at a more determined pace until you were squirting a bit more for him. He eased into a stop before pulling his fingers out and sucking them clean and then leaning down to kiss you. “Mmm…you’re so perfect, baby. Look at you.” He mumbled in amusement, “I even missed how you taste.” He mumbled against your lips and you smiled and pecked his lips. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.” You replied with a soft smile.

“Promise? Went a little hard on you there.” He said and you nodded.

“Promise. I didn’t use our word.” You reminded him and he nodded.

“That’s right, angel.” He hummed.

“I actually have something in mind…” you started and he nodded, urging you to continue. “What if tonight we see if I can go under?” You asked and you saw the sparkle in his eyes but then he glanced away.

“Ummm…that’s kind of…opposite of what I wanted this time to be.” He admitted with a soft chuckle, “But if that’s what you want, then I-”

“Wait. No, tell me more about what you…were expecting or…hoping for?” You requested and he smiled slightly as he pressed down and kissed you again.

“Thank you for wanting to listen to it.” He said and you smiled and nodded, “Well…I know that before I had…kind of tested the boundary of what was too intimate er whatever. And well…I want to…fuck you with…intention and care and…I suppose…love?” He got out and sighed shakily, “I ummm…I am in love with you. I just…realized it. I’m sorry!” He laughed nervously as he looked into your eyes and you were just beaming. You pressed yourself up and grabbed his face and guided it towards your own until you were kissing slowly with smiles on your faces.

“H.” You mumbled.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Let’s do it your way. Lets add a little affection in there.” You whispered and he smiled.

“Okay.” He whispered back happily, “Do you have condoms?” He asked.

“Let’s not use one.” You said and he kissed you quickly.

“Are you one the pill again?” He whispered his question and you shook your head.

“No.” You reaffirmed verbally and he kissed you again.

“So you’re playing with fire, are you?” He asked and you nodded with a smile. “I really like that.” He hummed smugly. “Gosh, I’ll have to fuck you everyday until we find out you’re knocked up.” He said and you literally blushed as he grinned down at you smugly. “Would you like that, baby?” He asked you nodded quickly as he leaned down and kissed you as he reached down for his cock and positioned it at your entrance.

“Fuck, push it in.” You panted and he dropped his weight into his hips and surged forward until your little hole gave way and parted for his long, thick cock to sink in until his full, heavy balls thudded against your bottom. He ground his hips into you, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix and g-spot with every swirl of his hips until he pulled out and then sunk back in again. By the third one you were starting to tremble.

“That’s good for you, angel?”

“Yes…you feel so fucking good, baby!” You panted as you were brought to the edge and then let back down as he drew out from you. You were tingling in anticipation of feeling him thrust back in. “I love you so much…” you exhaled and he was suddenly feeling all warm and gooey inside.

“Fuck, angel, I love you too…I’m not gonna last too long.” He confessed as he froze deep inside of you. “Get your vibrator for me. Right on your clit. Wanna feel you coming on me one more time.” He said and you were quick to comply. You had it on a lower setting but given your sensitivity level you were starting to reach the edge quite quickly. Specially with Harry pounding away inside of you. You were moaning in time with the even paced grunts rumbling from his chest and the smacking sounds of your centers colliding over and over and over again. Your vision started to go hazy as you blinked up at him before your eyes squeezed shut as you started to come. You could feel your walls throbbing hard around his cock and you wanted nothing more than to feel his warm load filling your pussy.

“Come inside me, daddy!” You begged and he groaned and gave a few more determined thrusts before he was stilling deep inside of you, his hand pressing down on your tummy, you could feel the weight of him over his own cock inside of you. Something about that had you losing your mind and extended your orgasm as you felt him spilling into you.

“Fuck, baby…that’s all yours, angel. M’all yours. Take all my fucking cum.” He grunted deeply, you felt the deepness of his voice rumbling through your body as he ground into you with intent as he came deep inside of you. 

It stole your breath as you started to come again as both of your most vulnerable areas were being stimulated so gloriously. You didn’t mean for it to happen, but your vision started to tunnel and all the sounds around you were muffled as your head just rolled back and you closed your eyes and smiled as this gorgeous cocktail of THC, several orgasms, and sub space collided together in the most chaotic and serendipitous way. Your orgasm seemed to be affecting each of your main body parts one by one, you felt it in each leg, in your tummy, chest, and arms, and then your head. You were floating, you were living in ecstasy, riding the wave for as long as possible. You blinked your eyes open slowly as Harry rested over you and kissed you with tenderness when he saw you floating off in some warm and fuzzy place.

“You’re safe, angel. Safe with me. Love you so much.” He whispered as he kissed all over your face. You locked your legs around his hips, trapping his body against yours snugly, “Fuck yeah, baby. Keep me inside…” he moaned as your walls continued to pulse around him steadily.

  He held you nice and tight, keeping your warm under his body heat. It was then that you realized that you’d left the window opened…you hoped your neighbors hadn’t heard anything, but there was a very slim chance of that being the case. And just like that, the tingle feeling and tunnel vision started to fade and you were slowly descending back into reality. When you felt the strength return to your body, you hugged him back and he sighed happily as he planted another kiss to your cheek.

“Are you alright?” He asked lowly as he glanced down at you and you smiled and nodded. “Use your words for me, angel. Y’know that.” He reminded.

“Sorry, I’m still a little loopy.” You whispered, “But yeah, I’m alright. Just cold.” You said and he tutted.

“Forgot to close the window. Can I get up?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Not yet. Stay close.” You whined and he smiled as he pushed himself up a bit and ran his thumb over your kiss-bitten bottom lip affectionately. It was something small, but in the past you would’ve just let him go and it would’ve all been done. 

“Did you ever think about…being like this with me before?” He asked and you nodded.

“Of course. It just wouldn’t have been fair for either of us to give in. It feels so good to just…hold you.” You breathed out in relief and he smiled and kissed your lips quickly. 

“Yeah angel, it does.” He agreed as he smiled down at you.  

After a few more minutes of being cuddled up together, you felt more yourself again so you assured him that you could get up now so that you guys could get cleaned off and dressed again. He was helping you get your comforter and sheets off so you could switch them out. You watched him check your mattress really quick to ensure you hadn’t soiled it when you came so hard so many times. It was sweet and so endearing of him, it made you feel all soft for him and you weren’t ready for this to be over.

“D-do you want to stay?” You asked him timidly and his face lit up as he smiled and nodded.

“Wait.” He smirked, “Not gonna make me stay on my side of the bed, are you?” He questioned playfully and you laughed as you shook your head.

“I don’t think we need to have sides since I’m not sharing you with anyone else anymore.” You replied with a small grin.

“That’s…very fair.” He chuckled bashfully and you giggled.

“I’m just teasing.” You assured.

“I know, angel.” He smiled. 

“Do you wanna have a shower?” You asked and he nodded. You quickly changed your sheets and comforter before heading towards the shower. “We can share, just make sure you don’t get my hair wet.” You warned as you pulled him along.

You were soon nice and clean, the both of you shivering as you pleaded with him to go close the window once and for all. It wasn’t hard to persuade him, all it was was a flash of your boobs to have him dashing across your bedroom to shut the window and keep out the cold. You quickly got dried and dressed before you cuddled up into the bed. You were both shivering as you adjusted to the temperature. You kissed his chin, cheeks, and lips a few times. His arm was draped over your waist, fingers barely grazing over your lower back. There was something on your mind that you really just wanted to clarify with him. “H, so…earlier when you said you wanted the opportunity to…be more for me?” You trailed off and he nodded, “Did you mean that?” You asked and he nodded.

“I do. I want that with you.” He confirmed. “Do you want that with me too?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, I really do. I just umm…I have a doubt.” You explained and he frowned a bit.

“Look, I-I hope you know that…what we had, that’s not something I’ve done before.” He said and then he frowned a little bit, “Actually, I have cheated before…but it was just a drunken kiss with a random person on a night out and I came clean right away.” He rambled, “I felt awful about it. Still do! But I wouldn’t ever cheat on you. It’s not like a compulsion or anything like that, where I can’t control myself.” He continued rambling nervously. When you grabbed his face he blinked a few times and went silent.

“Hey, I trust you.” You said softly and his nervous gaze softened, “I made a choice too with you. What we had was not just your fault; sure you initiated but I didn’t turn you away. And while it was wrong, I mean, I can’t say it was a mistake because, honestly to me, being with you has never felt like a mistake.” You elaborated your point of view and he smiled upon hearing you say this to him.

“Do you…regret it?”

“Not really. I still find value in what we had before…I learned a lot about myself and what I’m capable of. I mean, I have also had a drunken kiss with a friend while dating someone else but I never really thought of that incident as cheating, I got carried away, you know? It wasn’t anything premeditated or that I thought of or even considered doing sober, so it was just opportunistic. I came clean the very next morning when I saw my partner and he didn’t think of it as cheating either. He actually…laughed in my face at that.” You recalled with a smile and he chuckled. “I guess my point is that, we’re all capable of less than savory things, but what matters is how we come out of it. And I think that what we did…it helped us to learn to trust each other in a way that we might not trust most people in our lives.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“Do you…feel regret for what we did?” You asked him.

“I think I did at some point, especially after your aunt’s birthday. I just saw how insecure I had made my ex feel, you know? But hearing you say that you don’t has changed my answer. I only regretted the fact that the situation was hurting everyone involved. Not the sex or the things we shared and the friendship and trust we strengthened through those times. I’m quite glad we had that with each other. But the fact that I wasn’t really treating either of you fairly or myself is my biggest regret.” He explained and you nodded in understanding. “Ummm, so if your doubts are not fidelity related what are they about?” He asked.

“Just about the timing of everything. Like, you just ended a relationship and I don’t want you to feel like you need to jump into anything with me right away t-to prove how you feel about me. Like if you need time to be single or something…like, I want you to know that that’s cool with me too.” You explained. Obviously, you wanted to jump in, you’d been waiting for him for so long, but if he wasn’t ready yet, then you’d wait, like you promised him a while ago.

“Well first off, I do want to be in a relationship. So I am ready for it. More than.” He assured you, “I just wasn’t with the right person before, that’s all. And well…I think we’ve both waited long enough for this opportunity to be together and if we both want it, why wait?” He reasoned and you bit your lip to try and suppress your smile. “What?” He chuckled.

“Nothing…I just umm…” you bit your lip and then readjusted yourself so that he was spooning you and then you interlocked your fingers with his. You relaxed almost immediately and let yourself melt into his warmth. “I’ve wanted you to hold me like this for a really long time.” You hummed happily. 

“So have I, angel.” He sighed before kissing the side of your head, “Thank you for waiting for me. You really didn’t have to.” He whispered and you smiled.

“Of course I did! I love you.” You whispered back, “That’s why I waited.” You explained with a smile.

“Oh, I love you so much.” He responded as he squeezed you a little tighter before kissing your head once again. You smiled in his embrace, relaxing more and more as the realization sunk in that this was your life now and you couldn’t have asked for a better outcome than this.

“Hey…” you whispered.

“What is it, baby?”

“You’re gonna keep this mullet thing you have going on for a bit, right?” You asked and he sniggered.

“If you like it that much then yes. I’d keep it for you.” He confirmed through a chuckle.

“Okay, good.” You hummed, “It’s fucking sexy.” You added softly and he grinned.

“You think so?” He chuckled.

“I certainly do.” You assured.

“Enough that if we got married I could have this hair, then?” He asked.

“Oh, for sure…so much so that they’d probably have to have the reception without us.” You said smugly.

“Baby…” Harry groaned, squeezing your hip just a bit and you smiled.

“You still have free reign you know…” you hummed and he hummed as he nuzzled up against your ear.

“You’re in for a long night, angel…” he hummed darkly.

“Do your best, daddy.” You grinned.

Magnetic extra^ (wc 2.4k)

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[stylessbean]

Harry Styles Fic Recs: Smut

------------ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍓🍒🍄 ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ------------

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for 200 followers! Here is the long-awaited smut fic rec masterlist so I hope y'all enjoy 😏😏

Last Updated: 7/02/2024

Series

Personal by @shawnxstyles

Only Angel by @cupid-styles

Blacking out and breaking hearts (slowburn!) by @dont-call-me-baby-posts

teach me by @freedomfireflies

office neighbours (another slowburn) by @atlafan

baby honey by @narrycherries

One Shots

Wishing you were here tonight is like holding on by @guardarecheluna

private show by @stylesharrys

the long weekend by @gurugirl

tentmate by @purplekiwis

moans and elevator music by @pleasingforharry

manbun by @eveningepiphany

just friends that f*ck by @1800titz

don't stop by @justlemmeadoreyou

the pact by @harryslittlefreakk

intimacy by @goldengalore

rough day by @goldengalore

Y/N and Harry have been on a dry spell, but then they fuck by @jawllines

short straw by @adorebeaa

learn to knock by @eveningepiphany

bound together by @harrysonlylover

overheard by @0nlythrowharrybeaux

[finelinevogue]

you are the love of my life

summary - you go to harry’s listening party and are reminded how he is the love of your life

warnings: heavily angsty, probably not a conventional happy ending but no pt.2, fluffy moments too don’t worry!, swearing

word count: 3k

pairing: ex-boyfriend!harry x reader

“Harry I don’t think that’s the best idea.” 

You rubbed a hand over your forehead as the call you were having with your ex-boyfriend stressed you out. It wasn’t the most ideal moment to be having this call either, since you were waiting for Chris, your boyfriend, to come and pick you up for date night.

Standing in the hallway you leaned against the wall and fought back the tears that were threatening to fall onto your cheeks. It was unfair how much your heart still hurt after breaking up with Harry and yet it was a mutual breakup, in which both of you decided to stay as friends. It was a hard decision for both of you and one you’ve regretted for all 482 days after. 

You knew his phone calls were a way of him checking up on you and making sure you were doing okay, which was the exact same reasons why you answered the phone. You each had pieces of each others hearts and that was something neither of you could let go. 

“Please, Y/N. I need... Just, please.” He said softly and your heart cracked just a little.

“Uh.. Harry, look I’ve got to go...” You tried to use your date night as an excuse to leave this phone call as it was.

“Uh.. Harry, look I’ve got to go...” You tried to use your date night as an excuse to leave this phone call as it was.

“Y/N...” 

The way Harry said your name with such familiarity made your heart so warm. His voice sounded like home and your heart knew it. You wanted him to come home, but his voice was as close as you’d ever get again. 

“You know Chris will be there.” You replied and you could hear him thinking out loud. His silence was so loud, thinking over the situation. You knew that it wouldn’t be an easy decision for him to make, but this was unfortunately the situation you’d both arrived at.

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” You questioned, just to make sure that had been his answer.

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll text you the details later.” 

You couldn’t even say goodbye to Harry on the phone because he’d cut the call. Back when you were together Harry would refuse to be the first one to hang up the phone, same as you, so you would both stay on the phone for hours and hours. Now the calls only lasted a couple of minutes, because it was too hard to hear each other without getting to be with each other every day. 

Putting your phone in your bag, you walked down the hall and looked at yourself in the hallway mirror. You tilted your head back as you tried to trickle the tears back into your eyes. Sniffling, you looked at yourself and tried to pull the corners of your lips into a smile. When your lips began to tremble you tried to quieten your fast-beating heart, preparing yourself to be loved by someone that wasn’t Harry tonight. 

Nodding at yourself, you left your house and walked to Chris’ car. Opening the door for yourself, you slid in the front passenger seat and greeted him with a warm hello.

“Hi!” You smiled brightly, Chris not being able to tell you’d nearly had a breakdown moments before.

“Hello! Ready for some Thai food?” He asked, checking his mirrors before pulling away from your house and down the street. 

“Yeah.” You said, when you really meant no.

As Chris drove down the street, talking about the best things to order off the menu tonight, you couldn’t help but think about how different this night would’ve been if you’d done it with Harry. How Harry would’ve rang your doorbell, not just beeped his car horn. How Harry would’ve opened and closed the car door for you. How Harry would’ve been lost for words on how beautiful you looked as his first words to you. How Harry would’ve listened to you when you said you didn’t like Thai food and would’ve simply taken you to Taco Bell instead. 

It wasn’t right to think about Chris like that. It wasn’t fair. But Chris wasn’t Harry and that would be something you’d forever compared everyone to. 

Four days later and Harry had sent you the details.

Hershel💛: 101 Rosewood Street. 3PM. 20th May.

You smiled at how his contact name was still saved as Hershel; a nickname that you’d heard his stylist Harry Lambert use and had found so adorably funny that you teased him about it for ever. You couldn’t find the heart to change it now. The yellow heart stayed too, because he’d always be a slice of yellow in your cake of life.

On the 20th May you and Chris showed up to 101 Rosewood Street.

Chris walked in without your hand in his, because quite frankly he was not impressed by this event at all. Chris didn’t like that you were still chummy with Harry and he found it even worse that Harry had invited you both to listen to his new album together with him, and some of his fans. 

You felt silly walking in alone and pushing the door open for yourself since Chris didn’t hold it, but you didn’t make a big deal about it because there were more important things to worry about; like seeing Harry for the first time in 498 days.

The room was set up so beautifully, with sofas and comfy chairs dotted everywhere. Some fans were already seated and getting to know each other. Some of them noticed you and gasped over seeing you. You weren’t famous by any definition, but you and Harry were very public with your relationship because you weren’t bothered by anyone’s opinions of you. The fans absolutely adored you then and still do now.

You waved to them and smiled, following Chris where he was being directed by a man behind some doors “backstage”. You made note to go and say hello to the fans later. 

You pulled your sweater over your hands to create little sweater paws as your heart anxiously awaited to see Harry again. No amount of calls and face-times that you had had with him over the past 498 days could ever mean the same as seeing him face-to-face. You couldn’t smell his familiar aftershave on the phone or really remember the way he hugged either. 

“Y/N...” Harry’s voice came from behind you and you turned around to see him standing there in shock. Even though he had invited you and you’d confirmed you’d be here, he was still surprised to see you. 

“Harry.” You nodded and smiled, earning a smile from him in return. 

Both of you were staring at each other and you felt like you’d just fallen in love all over again. The way his eyes danced with happiness over you made you feel as bright as a Christmas tree in December. 

His hair was a little shorter now, but the curls were more obvious because of it. He looked really good and really well. His skin was glowing, most likely from just coming back off a holiday to Brazil for a week for his mum’s birthday. 

“You...” “It’s...” You both said at the same time, then laughing when you realised you were still just as eager to speak over each other as before.

Chris then coughed beside you and made himself aware to the both of you. You had no idea how long he had been standing there, but you weren’t oblivious to the fact that Harry and you had just had a moment in a public room. It probably wouldn’t sit well with Chris, but the heart wants what it wants.

“Um, Harry... This is Chris.” You pulled Chris into your side by looping your arm with his. Chris’ body language showed that he was trying to be very alpha and it turned you off. Harry held out his hand politely waiting for Chris to shake it and flinched a little when Chris shook it a bit too harshly. You bit your tongue from telling Chris to stop being so jealous, because you hated it.

“Y/N’s boyfriend.” 

“Nice to meet you, mate.” Harry smiled, feeling anything but happy shaking this mans hand.

“Hmm, likewise.”

Harry turned back to you then and explained how the event would work. He had a million and thirty three things he wanted to talk to you about, but he knew now wasn’t the best of times. He would save those conversations for later. 

After being directed back into the main room, you went around hugging fans and talking to them about anything and everything. Harry stood by and watched on with the biggest smile, adoring you even more for how kind you were to everyone and especially his fans. 

Jeff introduced the event and Harry said some hello’s before the listening started. Everyone was given a set of headphones and told that the music would play at the same time for everyone in the same order. 

You and Chris sat next to each other, but the empty spot next to Harry called out to you desperately. 

The rest of the event was where everything changed. 

There were three songs that stood out more than any of the others, to you. Grapejuice, Satellite and Love of My Life. Every song was perfectly created, but you knew exactly what Harry was talking about when you heard the lyrics to those particular songs.

Grapejuice was obviously about the afternoon you and Harry had spent in your back garden sharing a bottle of red. It had been a hot weekend and so you and Harry had enjoyed some time in the pool, before relaxing with some wine that Harry had bought back from Italy. In fact, it was from the vineyard he had invested money into.

“Top up?” Harry had asked you, reaching for the bottle of red on the table with a little struggle. Your legs were draped across his lap, so he had to hold onto them as he bent forwards.

“I wouldn’t say no.” You smiled, head feeling slightly hazy from the four glasses you’d had already.

“Here you go, m’love.” He handed you your now full glass.

“Thank you.” Reaching for it, your fingers brushing against Harry’s with a slight warmth.

“I hope I’m living this life in 50 years time.” Harry said, sipping on his wine before putting it back on the table. He put his hand on your shins and rubbed his thumb on the soft skin there, not minding that there were a few rogue hairs that you’d forgotten to shave.

“How so?” You leant your head against the sofa you were sitting on, watching Harry’s face glow in the summer’s afternoon sun.

“I mean, I want to be in this moment in 50 years time with a similar bottle of red, not those crappy whites and pinks. With you, and only you. Maybe a couple of grandkids running and messing around in the pool - that pool. Just want something simple for my–our future.”

You looked at him with heart-shaped eyes, wanting that future to arrive here already. Nothing could break this moment or this love between you. It had engrained so deep into the roots of your soul and you hoped you never had the opportunity to say goodbye to him.

Bringing yourself back to the room where the listening party was taking place you bit your bottom lip to keep it from trembling, looking over to where Harry was sitting across from some fans. He immediately turned his head to face you as if he knew you were looking at him.

“Are you okay?” He mouthed from across the room, just for you eyes to make out what he was saying only.

You nodded in return and swallowed back the lump in the back of your throat, before looking down at your hands in your lap that were fiddling with each other. Chris was sat next to you with a bored expression and not a single thought behind his eyes.

When you listening to Satellite your heart pounded at your chest, begging to be sealed and sent over to Harry. Returned, in fact.

It was clearly about the many moments after the breakup where Harry didn’t care about anything other than making sure you knew he was right there for you still.

“Y/N, hi. Please call me back when you can. I’m getting worried a-and I… I…. Fuck, I just need to hear your voice to know you’re still there.” Harry’s voice faded out on the voicemail and you put your phone back on the floor next to you.

You were sat against the bathtub with a bottle of Whiskey and Daughter’s music playing on your record player. Tissues surrounded you on the floor and your grey t-shirt, that was actually Harry’s, was covered in wet splotches where your tears had fallen or where you’d wiped your nose.

An album that you’d made of pictures of you and Harry was sat to the side of you, but you’d thrown it away from you after your heart couldn’t handle any more happy.

You tricked yourself into thinking you were okay about this mutual breakup, but in reality it was the most soul-crushing event that had ever happened to you. Neither you, nor Harry, had fallen out of love with each other but you were both just so terrified that everything was moving so fast on the same timeline as Harry’s excelling career. You wanted what was best for him, and him for you. Turns out, looking back, maybe that wasn’t breaking up with each other.

The phone rang again but you left it to ring until it made a beep that meant that whoever had called you had left a voicemail.

“I know I’m going round and round, here, Y/N/N, but I need you to know that I’m here. I’m right fucking here and I always will be. Don’t shut me out. Please. J-just, shit, just call me back, okay? I’m a thousand miles away, but I’m right here.”

Your eyes had wept during listening to Satellite, because you were reminded of how you sat on the bathroom floor until all feeling in your bum and legs had gone numb. The tears hadn’t stopped until Harry had travelled all 1,000 miles to knock on your door with a bottle of red wine. You’ll always remember what he said when he stood at your door;

“If you’re going to be sad, I’m always going to be sad with you.”

So, when you wiped your hands over your eyes at the listening party after listening to the song, where Harry reminded you he was still here for you, you expected Chris to put and arm around you and console you. Instead, he took off his headphones and tapped your shoulder.

“I can’t do this.” He said to you. “I can’t deal with it.”

Your brain was confused, taking the headphones out of his hands - not that you had much choice from him.

“Chris…wha— deal with what?” Your eyes widened as you watched him stand up, brushing off his trousers to rid them of creases.

“You, Y/N. I can’t deal with you and your heart.” He cleared his throat and looked away from you, not being man enough to watch your heart break all over your face in front of him. “Goodbye, Y/N.”

And with that he was off out of the room and presumably out of your life.

There was no sorry and no hug goodbye. There was just an emotionless and dramatic man that couldn’t deal with a woman who had more emotions than he a plastic barbie doll. He couldn’t handle a real woman who was in touch with her heart.

The funny thing was, your heart didn’t break in the slightest for him even if Chris thought that it would. If anything, there was this sense of relief of not having him sat next to you and not having to go home with him afterwards. There was a sense of freedom that came from Chris leaving.

And it all made sense when Harry came and sat next to you, making you forget all about Chris and solely focus on the man with the green eyes that you remained in love with 498 days ago.

Harry took one headphone off one ear as you put yours back on your head. “You okay?”

That’s when Love of My Life started playing and your heart started racing from the images his lyrics were painting.

“I.. uh.. I-I think so. Or at least, I will be.” You cleared your throat and looked at him to show him that there were no threatening tears this time. Harry didn’t know exactly what happened, but he was just glad to see an empty seat next to you. This time, he wasn’t going to allow anyone the chance of filling it again. “You?”

Harry’s hand slid over to the edge of his leg and he held his palm up, his fingers still as pretty as always. You smiled at him, with a slight nervous blush as your hand took ahold of his and the dancing butterflies took flight all over again.

“Yeah. I think I’ll be alright too.” And with a soft squeeze of his hand in yours, it was felt between the both of you that you’d both be alright; together.

[shawnxstyles]

personal

DATE: JULY 24, 2023

summary: you and harry are best friends who tell each other everything. or so you thought. when harry finds out you’ve barely done anything sexual, he offers to change that. and then things get a little… personal.

song: Glitch- taylor swift (this song seems fitting)

words: 6.5k

warnings: SMUT (f- receiving [rubbing, fingering, nipple play, praise kink], mirror sex, cum tasting??, dirty talk), and language.

note: i literally wrote this in a few days i think. this idea is so basic, but who doesn’t love a cliché concept? PART 2

bestfriend!fratrry x inexperienced!reader (because i literally write no one else and fratrry is the love of my life)

—

Harry had a lot of friends. People that he grew up with and some that he met along the way that just stayed. But you were his number one overall, and he told you everything. You told him everything too.

Well, almost everything.

It never really caught his attention that you guys never talked about sex. You guys have been friends for 15 years, since you were five, so you’d think it would have been brought up at least once. But now that Harry thinks about it, he can’t think of one time you’ve talked about the act.

He didn’t think it would be like this. And he didn’t think you’d answer like that.

You and Harry were casually hanging out on a free school day, just like you always do. And then you start talking about this date you went on and how the guy was great. Harry was happy for you, he really was. All he wanted was to see his best friend happier than happy. However, being the best friend he was, he was nagging and joking with you.

“Think he’s the one, eh?” Harry jokes, nudging your shoulder playfully on your couch.

“Oh, stop it. Don’t get ahead of yourself,” You roll your eyes and cross your arms. Yeah, Mike seemed like a decent guy and maybe you could have a relationship for a short time, but he was nowhere near “the one.”

You weren’t too desperate for a relationship, you liked whatever came to you. This cute guy asked you on a date a week ago and you weren’t going to say no. Because what if he was the one? He wasn’t, but what if?

“Imagine it, Doll,” Harry started. He began calling you Doll when you two were just kids. You loved to collect dolls of all sorts, but you never dared to take them out of the box. Harry thought it was silly, but also cool. “picket white fence, beautiful lake house. Kids runnin’ ‘round—”

He saw your face cringe at the word kids. He tilted his head in confusion, arm moving to rest behind you on the couch. He scoots closer to you and waits for you to respond.

“No kids for me,” You awkwardly chuckle. It seemed almost sad the way you sounded.

“What? Thought you wanted to be a mum?”

“Not anymore,” You breathed out with an awkward smile, “need a husband to do that.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout getting a husband. Shouldn’t stop you from wanting ‘em,” Harry smiled sincerely at you and you nodded while looking down.

“Plus, you could always just go out on the street and ask some good-lookin’ lad to be the father of your kids!” You socked Harry hard in the shoulder. He lets out a hearty laugh because he always ruins a sweet moment with a stupid joke. That’s just how you like it though.

“I’m not a prostitute!”

“Never said tha’.”

“Can we just watch some TV? You’re annoying me,” You roll your eyes as you reach for the remote. Harry continues to laugh as you switch the television on.

When you’re indecisive, you toss the remote to Harry and he shuffles through the stations. He lands on a random one, also indecisive. You guys were too similar sometimes.

“Look on your phone for somethin’ and then I’ll find it. I’m done searching.”

“You looked for like two seconds!” You laughed at his laziness. He shrugs with a smile, leaning into the couch. Again, you roll your eyes playfully before doing a bit of research on your phone.

Suddenly, a moan echoes throughout your living room and your whole body stiffens up. Harry notices and tears his eyes away from the screen, which was portraying the sexy noises. You don’t look at him even though you can feel his eyes burning into you.

“Alright?” he asked out of concern, peering at your rigidness. He’s only ever seen you get like that when you were anxious or scared, but nothing happened. Maybe you saw something scary on your phone?

“Uh, yeah,” You squeaked as the TV moaned again. Your face cringes and you force yourself to keep your eyes on your phone.

“Y/N, seriously,” Harry stares between you and the screen when she noisily moans again. The woman was being eaten out by the man and was being overly loud. Her back was arching and her breasts were on display. The movie was inappropriate, 18+ for sure, but it was nothing you hadn’t seen before. Right? You were both 21 years old.

“This… just makes me a tad uncomfortable is all,” You answered honestly, voice quiet as your legs tightened together. Harry’s eyebrows pursed together.

“Uncomfortable? Why?” he couldn’t help the question that slipped out of his mouth. He was too curious to know why a little movie made you stiff yet fidgety.

Unless… you were feeling something different than uncomfortable.

“No,” You shook your head and attempted to push yourself off the couch. Harry didn’t hesitate to grab your wrist and pull you back. He didn’t want you to run away and for you to feel like you couldn’t tell him something.

“Just tell me.”

“No,” You stood your ground, way too embarrassed to say something. Way too embarrassed to admit that you’ve never had sex before. Way too embarrassed to admit you’ve never done anything more than rub your own clit. Once. And it didn’t even feel that good.

Your skin was fiery and… tingly. Harry was much closer to you than he previously was because he pulled you closer to him. Your bare thighs were touching, warm on warm with a sudden spark. You didn’t know you weren’t breathing until you inhaled deeply at Harry’s hooking stare.

“Doll, you tell me everything, but you can’t tell me why a little porn makes you uncomfortable? Because I know it’s tha’.”

“Ugh,” You groaned between clenched teeth. You threw your head back until it hit the top of the couch. Harry’s grip on your wrist never left you. He squeezed it reassuringly, letting you know that he supports you in whatever you’re going to say.

Are you really about to say it?

“Y/N, just—”

“No.”

“I thought we were best friends—”

“Do not pull that card!”

“But—”

“I’ve never had sex before, okay?” You shouted over Harry’s pleading voice and the echoing moans from the television. You’d think by the time you had a whole argument they’d be done having sex, but nope.

Harry was cut off, so his mouth was slacked open. Once he realizes his jaw is on the floor, he blinks a few times to really process what you’ve said. If you had told anyone else, they would have harshly judged you. Harry wasn’t necessarily too different, but he was your best friend, and he was going to try his hardest not too. Harry was just more shocked if anything. He had a handful of different bodies, enough to give him a good amount of experience. So when he finds out you’ve done nothing, he’s beyond surprised to his core.

“But you’ve had so many dates,” Harry looks over at your face, which was looking down at your lap. Your wrist was still trapped in his hand, but you were twiddling your thumbs like you were in trouble. He starts rubbing reassuring circles with his thumb over your knuckle. Your skin was so hot, and Harry’s theory of you being turned on continued in his mind.

Did you even know what that meant? You were naive, right?

“So? That doesn’t mean anything,” Your attitude was shining through. But deep down, you were more embarrassed than anything. This was just your coping mechanism. And of course, Harry knew that.

“Surely you’ve done something else,” Harry suggests. You pin him with a knowing look and a long blink.

“I haven’t,” You answered before even hearing his question. He clearly doesn’t care about your reply because he’s asking you a series of interrogation questions.

“Have you had someone eat you out—” Harry points to the screen, but it was on a commercial break now. You got the point, but Harry clearly didn’t.

“No,” You grumbled.

“What about fingering—”

“No.”

“A toy?”

“Where would I even buy that?”

“Or—”

“No, Harry. Nothing.”

“Not even rubbing?” he asks. You stay quiet, unsure if you want to admit the one-time experiment you did.

Why does it even matter? You tried it and you realized you don’t like it, so you never have to do it again right?

“Not… really,” You hesitated. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion while your skin burned at boiling temperature.

“Humping?”

“No—I tried to…” You couldn’t get the words out. Not ever you’d think. But especially not with Harry so close to you. His body was warm, not as warm as yours, but it was eliciting something inside of you that you couldn’t comprehend. The way he nonchalantly said so many dirty things made you dizzy.

“Tried to what?” Harry was thinking of so many things you could say. He wanted to finish your sentence, just like how he wanted to finish you until you were crying his name and soaking him. But he wanted to hear you say it. He’s never thought of you in such an explicit way, but with the words and tension floating in the air it was hard not to.

“…do it myself.”

“And how did that work out, Doll?”

“Um,” You didn’t expect him to ask. Your neck and cheeks light up in small flames. Where did this come from? “I…”

“What? I thought you could tell me anything?” When your eyes flickered up to his, they were a dark, swirling green you’ve never seen on his face before. Your heart skipped a dangerous beat, frightened with anticipation.

“I know, I can. But this… it’s different.”

“How so?”

“It’s personal—”

“Best friends are personal.”

“But not like this. Best friends don’t do this,” You tried to get up again, nearly ripping yourself away from his grip. But you were in too deep now. Harry wasn’t going to let this one slide. His mind was thinking about one thing and one thing only.

You.

He yanks you back and twirls you around, releasing your wrist in the process. He grabs you by the hips and pulls you down to his lap. You couldn’t contain the slight gasp you let out at the feeling of his strong legs beneath you. Your legs were on either side of him, tempting to squeeze shut. Every movement you made Harry would feel in this position.

“Best friends can say anything. They can do anything too,” Harry’s hands caress your thighs. They’re comforting and inviting, but are also sending a field of goosebumps along your skin warning you to flee. It’s hard to focus on anything but his touch and the vibration of his words through the air. “Now, tell me, did you rub yourself?”

“Yes,” You stutter, trying to stop your hips from squirming on his lap. He notices and grips one side of your body to steady you. It only makes you want to shift more. His touch was almost overwhelming, but you wanted more of it.

Was it wrong to want more of your best friend’s touch?

“Did it feel good?”

“No,” A part inside of you was a bit disappointed that it felt so bland. You thought masturbation was this great thing, and that’s why people did it so frequently. You heard it was also a stress-reliever, but for you, it was just a stress-inducer. Harry could tell by your tone that you weren’t lying.

“Well, you probably weren’t doing it right,” Harry replies and you look up at him with a slightly startled expression and a scoff. You didn’t expect his response to be so straightforward, like he was a doctor diagnosing you with some disease.

“How could I do it wrong? Don’t I just rub…?”

“Baby, it’s much more than that,” Harry said sincerely. He’s never called you baby before, but the nickname had your heart jumping. “Were you even wet?”

“What? I—probably? I don’t remember…”

“You would remember.”

“The experience wasn’t very memorable,” You grumble with an eye roll.

“Do you want me to show you?”

His question had your head spiraling. He wanted to what? There is no way. There is no way those words just left Harry, your best friend’s, mouth.

“W-what? That’s way too personal!” Your eyes were wide and your skin was burning. You were nearly dizzy with this whole conversation and your stomach was tight. You thought you might need to lie down for a while.

Maybe you were sick. Yeah, that’s it.

“Best friends are personal, Doll. Just let me show you, yeah? And then we never have to talk about it again. If y’don’t want. Please,” Harry’s charm was convincing you. Everything about him was luring you in, completely different than ever before. The way his eyes was dark and his touch was warm made you feel wanted and needed, which was contrary to your past dates. They didn’t look at you this way, nearly beg for you this way. They didn’t show you anything. They wanted you because they wanted to get their dick wet, but they hated the idea of a virgin.

And Harry’s familiar. He’s safe. You don’t have to be afraid when you’re with him. But then why are you so nervous?

Harry was willing to teach you how to do the one thing you’ve been curious about your whole life, and you’re going to pass up the opportunity, why? Because he’s your best friend?

Isn’t that supposed to make it better?

“Okay, fine,” You inhaled as your hands gripped onto his T-shirt on his shoulders. You had convinced yourself to let the words slip out. “Show me.”

You were agreeing almost as if this wasn’t a big deal for you. But to Harry, it was. He would take your firsts, and something about that filled him with pride. A smirk slowly rides up on his lips, “Now?”

A blush cascades through your body. Of course he didn’t mean right now!

“I-I thought you meant—”

“Shh, relax, Doll. I was just makin’ sure,” he smirks again, pulling you closer to him. He loved watching you get all squirmy and flustered more than he thought. You could feel his body heat more than ever now, and you’re surprised you lasted this long on his lap without dying. “I’m going to give you a few options, okay?”

With anxiousness, you nodded and swallowed.

“When we do this, you have to talk. So use your words, Y/N,” You knew he was being serious when he said your name, so you replied with yes and then he was giving you your options.

“So, I can lay you down right here on the couch and show you how to rub your little clit,” his explicit words were making your privates ache, but it wasn’t painful. It kind of felt… good? You felt a foreign liquid dampen your underwear, and you can only assume that’s the wetness Harry was talking about. “Or, you can do it yourself on m’thigh with my help. Which one sounds like something y’want to do?”

“The first one,” You answered, painfully desperate to squeeze your legs together to stop this ache. “But how will I see what you’re doing?”

Harry thought for a moment. You made a good point. How were you supposed to learn simply from feeling? Harry knew you were a bit of a visual learner, so he wanted to make sure you saw how to pleasure yourself correctly. And he knew the perfect way to do that.

“I actually have a third option. But s’not really a choice anymore,” Harry doesn’t say anything after, he just lifts himself and you off the couch without warning. You wrap your arms and legs around his body like a koala, making sure you don’t fall. His warmth encompasses you back and you wish you could just stay there forever.

Familiar. Safe.

When your head peers up from his shoulder, you’re in his bathroom. Your eyebrows pinch together, curious as to what his third choice was.

He sets you down on the floor until your feet are planted. You unwrap your arms from him, still confused.

“Do you trust me, Y/N?” Harry’s eyes were still dark, and you wondered if they would ever go back to the strong, emerald green they used to be.

“Yes, of course,” You didn’t hesitate to answer. There was no one that you trusted more than Harry that wasn’t in your bloodline.

“Okay,” Harry breathes, “Strip f’me. Keep your bra and underwear on.”

You nearly questioned him in shock. But then you remembered what the whole goal of this was. He was going to show you how and you were going to listen, right? So you did.

Carefully, you stripped yourself of your clothes. He’s seen you in bathing suits before, and some were revealing, so this can’t be as bad, right? Harry didn’t peel his eyes away although you wanted him to. He hasn’t seen you naked since you two were little kids, and even though you weren’t naked, it felt like you were with his burning gaze. Obviously, there were some changes too. Like height, hair, breasts, ass… the whole thing. Harry doesn’t say anything until you’re in your undergarments.

A swimsuit is definitely different.

“Good. Now, c’mere,” Harry sits down on the floor, a few feet away from his full-body mirror. His body was up against the bathtub wall to keep himself steady. You slowly lowered yourself to the floor, wondering what was going on through his head.

He pulls you between his legs until you’re pressed against his body. His warmth radiated through you far better with less clothes on and your body ached some more. Your legs closed to squeeze it away.

“Nuh uh,” he declines. Harry grips your thighs with his ringed fingers and yanks them apart. You gasp at the extreme vulnerability and the coolness that waves over your privates. He throws your legs over his and bends them slightly, making you unable to move at all. “Keep them open, yeah?”

You nodded, but that’s not what he told you to do.

“Words.”

“Yes. Keep them open.”

“Good girl. You’re learning,” Harry smiled and looked towards the mirror. His eyes instantly zoomed in on the growing wet patch on the front of your cotton panties, and he couldn’t help but smirk. He saw and felt your body squirming similarly like how you were on his lap. He’s had a rock-hard cock since this conversation started, so he’s not surprised if you can feel his hard-on poking your back through his shorts.

His hands rested on your knees as you watched him in the mirror. The entirety of it all was extremely erotic, like something that would be on TV.

“If you like something, tell me. If you hate something, tell me. It’s important that you do so, okay? It helps both of us learn.”

“Okay,” You were nearly shaking with anticipation. You were so nervous, but why? It’s just Harry. It’s just Harry. “I kind of like when you say I’m doing a good job. Makes me feel… nice.”

“Yeah?” Harry tried to conceal the smirk that threatened to rise on his lips. Of course his best friend, who happened to be the most innocent person in the world, had a praise kink. It just made too much sense. “Like when I call you a good girl?”

You sighed and nodded, but Harry didn’t say anything this time. He just kept going.

One of his hands rested on your knee, tracing delicate circles. He stayed in the same spot, for god knows how long, and you wondered when he would do something. He seemed to be in a trance. He was hyper-focusing on every centimeter with those circles, and although you were getting impatient, you felt cared for.

One of his hands snakes to your chest and rubs your nipple through your bra. Just when you were about to protest, his fingers moved a tad lower. The roughness of his pads tickled your skin just right and caused your thighs to squirm. It was entertaining for Harry to watch you get all squirrely from such a simple touch.

He’s going to have fun with you.

“It… tickles,” You observe as your eyes look down at his fingers, very gradually moving closer to that ache in between your legs. You felt like a kid exploring a new world for the first time; naive and curious.

“What does?”

“Your fingers,” You stare at him in the mirror almost as if he’s stupid. What else would tickle?

“Does this tickle?” Harry’s knuckle brushes the inside of your thighs, lower than he’s been. You inhale at the subtle sensitivity.

“Not much,” You answer, and his knuckle continues to sway leisurely. Your breath picks up, rising faster at his hand’s proximity.

“What about this?” His index finger traces the hem of your panties with purpose. You gasp when he gets deep in between your legs, outlining your cunt with ease. Your legs attempt to shut with a shake, shying away from the vulnerability, but it’s impossible with his strong legs prying you open.

“A-a little.”

“And this?”

As if his touch could be anymore teasing, he finally dances along your clothed cunt, tracing your lips with curiosity of how you’d react. A mix of a sigh and a moan wavers out of you unintentionally, hips pushing closer towards his finger. Your mind blanks, light and fuzzy. Your face immediately falls to gaze at his movements, attracted to the air-headed feeling.

“Eyes on the mirror,” Harry demands while delicately caressing you. It was ironic, really. His voice was so rough and stoic while his touch was ever so gentle. With a few blinks, you're focusing in on the mirror, obeying his command. “How does this feel? Does it tickle?”

“Good, and yes,” You swallow your moan as his finger keeps petting you lightly. You were almost getting used to it, but you wanted more. “Is this what I was supposed to do?”

“Sort of. This is called foreplay. Heard of tha’?”

“I think so?” You were breathless.

“S’basically where I get you all wet and ready f’me. You like that?”

“L-love and hate relationship right now,” You pant as his finger rises away from your weeping, covered hole and travels up to your clit. You choke out a gasp as he strokes it nonchalantly.

“Oh,” Your hand drops to his thigh, gripping it strongly as your body begins to tingle. You strain your neck to keep your eyes on the mirror ahead of you, trying to watch how he does it.

His familiar smirk never fades from his face, cheeks a tad rosy from the heat waving between you two. His wrist is probably sore from the tedious, repeated movements he does. His thick fingers delicately circle your covered clit, applying generous pressure until you’re panting.

“More. I think I need more,” You suggest when his pace stays a consistent speed. You needed to feel his fingers on your bare skin. If he was going to touch you, you wanted him to just do it already.

“Y’think?” Harry’s tone was taunting yet serious. He wanted you to be firm with what you wanted. He didn’t want you to second-guess your own pleasure. If you needed more, you needed to tell him that. The best way for that to happen was for him to train you. “Beg for it.”

As your head becomes floaty with the stimulation, you don’t even hesitate to throw out pleads.

“Please, Harry. I-I need it, need more,” Your head slowly falls back onto his shoulder before his touch is gone. “Wha—”

Harry couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to see you. All of you. He needed to see what he did to you, and if you were really as desperate as you seemed. As shocking as this all may be to you, it was just as shocking to Harry. He couldn’t believe he was this turned on from his best friend’s inexperience. He’s always liked when a girl knew what she was doing and knew how to reciprocate. But something about Harry teaching you and showing you the ropes just fills him with a kind of power and pride that he can’t get from anywhere else. And he’s feasting off of it.

“M’gonna take these off, alright?”

“Everything? O-okay,” He unclipped your bra as you slowly slid down your panties. The tile beneath you was colder than before, but Harry’s warm body behind you kept you comforted.

“Have you heard of the traffic light system?” he asks, hands resting gently on your bare shoulders. He gets straight into the safety part first. It also distracts him from ogling your naked figure against him. He could feel his cock twitch in his briefs at your fluttering pussy and peaked nipples.

“I assume you don’t mean the ones used for driving?” You both chuckle and break some of the swollen tension in the room. It was a nice little reminder that it’s just Harry.

“No, Doll. The one for safety and consent,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, no, I’ve never heard of it.”

“If you say red, I’ll stop instantly and ask what made y’red. Communication is key. If y’say yellow, I’ll slow down and ask you again. And then we can either continue or stop, whatever y’want. But if your color is green, I’ll keep going. Understand, love?”

There was a lot of information, but you were able to keep up. It was actually similar to the traffic light system, which makes the name very fitting. You reply with a firm yes to note that you understand.

All while he was talking and explaining everything, you were getting used to looking at yourself in the mirror. You weren’t always confident in your body, but staring at it in between Harry’s made you feel safe and sexy somehow.

Before your mind can wander too far, Harry’s hands are falling down until they’re at your nipples. His rough fingers lightly pinch the already-hard buds until you’re pushing up into his touch. The warmth and the nakedness made you overly flushed all over. He gropes your breasts with care, slyly sliding another hand down lower.

Throughout this entire process, you’ve been soaking; in your underwear, in your shorts, and now on his bathroom tile. Your lower body has been throbbing in desire to be aided, and Harry seems to know just what you need.

His fingers hover right above your mound that’s screaming for him to go lower. Your heart rams against your chest in anticipation of his bare hands on your bare body, on your most sacred and vulnerable parts. No one has ever touched you beside yourself. A small part inside of you was glad that the first person was Harry because you knew you wouldn’t regret it.

Right?

“Stop thinking s’much,” he says, rubbing a warm palm over your belly. His face moves your head, so his lips can kiss your temple reassuringly. You slightly arch your back, so maybe he could see how desperate you are. Your legs were still spread by his, so you know he can see your wetness. If you can see it, so can he. “Just let me show you how it’s done.”

“Okay, Mr. Cocky,” You roll your eyes as he shifts your hair behind your ear, “What if I don’t even like it?”

“The name is very fitting. But that’s for a different day,” he says with a cocky smirk on his face. Now that sounds like something Harry would say. But your entire face gets warm and your head gets a little fuzzy when you actually imagine it. “and you will. Trust me.”

You take a deep breath. You weren’t sure how far you guys were going to go, but you’ve never felt more ready and more safe. With the system Harry told you about and all his reassurance, it was clear that even if he was teaching you, you were the one that had all the control.

“Now watch me.”

With those words his hand turns into just one finger and resumes on your clit. You gasp into the air as your body jolts. The roughness of his thumb paints your arousal over and over on your skin.

“This little thing is important. Don’t neglect it.”

His rhythm is slow and tedious as he circles the nub. You see and feel him dip down to collect some more of your wetness as he continues stroking you.

“How’s this? Color?” he gruffs in your ear while staring at you darkly in the mirror. You could barely understand him because you were panting embarrassingly and trying your hardest to focus on the reflecting glass in front of you.

“Good! Wait—green,” You corrected yourself as a moan elicited from you, his touch feeling even better each second.

“Good girl.”

“Fuck,” You feel yourself clench around nothing but your own wetness at his words. You both watch as the liquid quenches out of your dripping hole, making Harry groan from behind you.

“Do y’think you can handle one finger? Hm?” his voice rolls perfectly into your ear as he twists your peaked nipple. You couldn’t control your moans at the pleasure. His voice sounded just as good as the feeling of his hands.

“Yes, yes. Harry, please,” You nearly cried from how bad you needed it. You didn’t even know you needed it this bad. You thought you were going to hate this feeling, but you’re far from it.

“So submissive, so responsive,” Harry’s middle finger pushes against your hole, teasing the opening. You hold your breath as he makes you wait. “Breathe, Doll. Relax.”

Your eyes close for a moment. You breathe deep and feel your limbs lose their sudden tenseness. Before you can open them again, Harry’s finger is slotting inside of you easily. A gasp falls from your mouth as your hand grips on his meaty thigh for support.

“O-oh.” The feeling was insane. Intense. Nearly overwhelming. You clenched around his digit, consuming and caging it like it would fade away.

You’re so tight around him, he swears his finger might fall off. Harry’s cock is pulsing and pleading behind your back, but you don’t seem to notice. He’s making sure he doesn’t rut into you, but it’s so difficult when you’re all spread out and submissive for him.

He’s never thought of you like this, but fuck, now he can’t think of you any other way.

“Color, Doll?” Harry grumbles in your ear, voice low and breathy as it fans over your skin warmly.

“Green. What’s more than green? B-blue? Just–don’t stop–God,” Your squeaky voice rambled as his finger pumped in and out slowly. You can hear his smile behind your screwed eyes. The pad of his thumb rubbed delicate circles over your throbbing clit to escalate the pleasure.

Your chest was beating fast when your legs started to shake. Your hips bucked closer to his hands, needing more as you chase the glorious feeling.

“Look at you, takin’ me so well,” Harry praises, subtly curling his finger as your back arches. You know that one finger isn’t a lot, barely anything, but you were melting at the praise that Harry gave you. His constant encouragement is what made you putty in his hands. Literally.

“Harry,” You moaned into the heated air, causing Harry to groan desperately behind you. And you’re not too stupid to deflect that Harry might be turned on from the scene unfolding. If you knew more, if you knew better, you would have offered to help him after. But you were inexperienced, and you assumed he wouldn’t want someone to give him head who could possibly bite his dick off.

“Are you close, baby? Hm? Gonna come for the first time on my hand?”

“Y-yes! Please,” You begged as you climbed your high, wondering what the top would feel like if the chase was this blissful.

Your head falls restlessly on his shoulder while his right hand keeps focusing on your cunt. It was covered in your arousal as his pace picked up. The stimulation was almost too much, your body wanted to push away. But your mind was pleading to feel a release you know your body needed.

“Is it gonna h-hurt?” You groaned as your cunt clenched around him again, stomach tensing. A strong rush you assumed could only be an orgasm was approaching you all too fast.

“No, Doll. It’s gonna feel real good,” He twisted your nipple again, pushing you over the edge. You felt his thumb and index pinch your clit, causing you to scream his name against his chest. “Look in the mirror. Watch yourself fall apart f’me. Watch and make sure this time is memorable.”

You always thought Harry had a way with words. You never thought that about dirty talking though. His hands were as skillful as can be, and maybe one day you’ll be able to make yourself feel as good as he made you feel. But his words are something that you’ll never be able to treat yourself with. You don’t think you’ll ever meet another person whose voice is as fitting as Harry’s.

With his demanding tone, you came right over the edge. An overwhelming ripple of pleasure ceased through your body, shaking your legs to the max. Soundless moans and clawing nails were all you were capable of as you came on his large hand. Although you were straining, you never took your eyes off of the mirror. He told you to look at yourself as you came, but you were only staring at the glaring green eyes reflecting back at you. He rubbed all of your orgasm until you were trembling from overstimulation.

Just when you thought he was done, he raised his ringed hand to his mouth and tasted you. You thought that was something that they only did porn or movies. You swallowed intensely as his hum vibrated through you.

“Do you always… taste it?”

“If I think it’ll taste good,” he smirked as you scooted forward to grab your shirt. As you throw it over your head, you just had to ask.

“Did mine taste any good?” You slightly cringed as you asked the question. Does cum usually taste good? What does it even taste like?

His smirk widens, a hint of evilness rising, “do you want to find out?”

Your skin flushes even against the chilling tile. Your heart skips a beat at trying yourself. You hadn’t ever thought of it before. But you’ve come (literally) this far tonight, so why not just take it a little further?

“O-okay,” You slowly lift up your shirt, revealing your fucked-out cunt to him again. “So I just…?”

“May I?” he suggests.

“Yes.”

Two of Harry’s fingers swipe over your cunt, which was still covered in a mix of your arousal and cum. You jolted from the stimulation, tensing quickly before his touch was gone.

“Open,” and without thinking, you do. Your mouth falls open as his fingers lay flat on your tongue. Salty and creamy, it spreads over your tastebuds. You hummed around his fingers just like he did because it tasted good. Yeah, it was a bit odd, but once you got past that, you realized how erotic and sexy it was. “How’s it taste?”

After a bit of suckling on his digits, he puts them out way too soon for your liking. “Good, actually.” You creak from your dry throat.

“I think so too. Let’s clean you up real quick.”

Still sitting on the floor, a warm, wet towel soothes your sensitiveness as he wipes away all of your liquids. A smile broke out on his face when he finished before his hand landed on top of your head. He shook your hair like crazy until it was already wilder than it was. The action was childlike and friendly, almost as if everything between you guys never happened and you were back to square one. It was better that way, though. Right? To just go back to how everything used to be?

Harry grabs the small hand towel and exits his bathroom. You assume he went to discard it and add it to his laundry, but you just sat there in oblivion. You already missed his touch, longing for something you should’ve never even had in the first place. He was the one that offered himself to teach you, but now you’ve been taught, so where do you guys go now? Are you really supposed to just go back to the way it was?

He saw you in ways that no one else has before. You always thought that you would be intimate and have your groups of firsts with someone that you were dating, someone that you loved. Because of this, you realized that Harry was the safe option. Doing this with Harry changed your views on everything, and your body, heart, and mind couldn’t keep up with the rapid reversal.

You knew that Harry had a few notches in his belt. But were they all from relationships or just one-night stands? You didn’t know because you two rarely ever discussed the topic. Was it easy for Harry to go from girl to girl? Or did he get attached like you?

If there was one thing you always feared from sex and sexual doings, it was the intense attachment. You had heard about the infamous addiction intimacy laces within your veins that makes you crave a person. Now that you’ve been with Harry, that won’t happen to you, right?

You’ve known Harry forever, yet you’ve never craved him. He’s your best friend, and you’ve never seen him as more than that. If it was anyone else, you’d probably lose all control because you have no significant relationship with them. It would be easy to latch onto anybody because it would be easy to lose them too. Harry, on the other hand, was not easy to lose.

The last thing you want is to convince yourself of anything. You don’t want to “crave” Harry just because you saw something about an article online about “sexual chemicals fusing.” You couldn’t. No, it was too risky.

You’ve known Harry forever, so you couldn’t lose him forever too.

“I think I found a good movie to watch!” Harry’s voice echoes from his living room and all the way into the bathroom where you haven’t moved a muscle. Your overthinking was louder than it’s ever been. With a shaky breath, you rise from the tiles and stare at your disheveled appearance in the mirror. The same mirror you watched Harry finger fuck you with.

“Be out there in a second!” You shout back as your heart beats rapidly from his heartwarming voice laughing loudly at something. You clutched your chest, wondering why the fuck you were feeling the organ lurch for him in a way that wasn’t meant for him.

You knew that it was way too fucking personal.

—

thanks for reading angels 😙 part 2

taglist: @crybabyddl @tiaamberxx @alwaysclassyeagle @bisexual-desi @littlenatilda @raajali3

[hsdiaries]

‘til forever— HS AU

Bentley Rose. 27. Post Production Assistant. Louis' ex-Fiance.

Harry Styles. 28. Auto Repair Shop Owner. Mitch's boss.

Niall Horan. 28. Publishing. Bentley's Best Friend.

Marlee Jade. 27. Digital Marketing. Harry's Best Friend.

and finally, Louis, our neighborhood friendly ghost.

Other significant characters include Sarah Jones, Mitch Rowland, Chase Strand, and Pauli Love.

Important music notes;

Dear Patience is Bentley's song.

No Judgement is Bentley and Niall's song.

Small Talk is Bentley and Harry's song.

I hope you enjoy.

- Christy

@haylorflorals on Twitter!

MASTER LIST

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