#Hakuno thought she won but didn't

[attackonari]

The Hunt (GilHaku)

I creeped within the dense foliage of Chaldea’s gardens. The Casters of the place have come together and made it as a place of relaxation and to grow herbs needed for their potions or whatever else. Right now there was no relaxation in the gardens. This is a jungle and there are an infestation of enemies. Right now, we are hunting.

Spotting movement on the bonsai terrace I took aim at a shade of green that should have, to normal eyes blended into the environment but unfortunately for it, I was too used to spotting this shade among many things. Taking aim, I pulled the trigger and watched my bullet fly. 

SPLAT!

“AH! I’ve been shot!”

I took no heed to the soft androgynous voice on the communications line and took two more shots. 

SPLAT! SPLAT!

“No!”

“CLAYBAE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. PLEASE RETURN TO THE GARDEN ENTRANCE.”

“...”

“FUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Bullseye. Knowing that others may have possibly spotted me based on the trajectory of the bullets alone, I army crawled through the dense foliage and went to bury myself under the large roots of one of Scathach’s Ash Trees. Laying my rifle down for a moment, I lift my goggles to wipe my eyes of the sweat gathered there. I have to be careful. He can be anywhere. 

“DAMN IT! DAMN YOU YOU STUPID KING!”

Ishtar?

“PRETTY GODDESS OF VENUS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. PLEASE RETURN TO THE GARDEN ENTRANCE.”

“ARRRGGH! THIS IS STUPID!”

Do they not understand the concept of stealth? Either way, I’ll win. I have to or I’ll have to put on that Magi☆Kuni idol stuff on. It was fun at first, but Gilgamesh is getting a little out of hand with it. Hearing noises coming from the brush in front of me, I see long white hair and hear a voice complaining. 

“Why oh why do I have to participate in this? I’m not meant for actual combat. What’s wrong with feeding my addiction? And why are some of these servants so intense? Ahhh, an Iced Hazelnut Mocha Macchiato right about now.

SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!

“W-WHA-”

“MEMEMAGE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. PLEASE RETURN TO THE GARDEN ENTRANCE.”

“KYAAHHHHH!”

That wasn’t far from me.

“FUAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“GILGAMESH YOU-”

“QUEEN DEATH HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. PLEASE RETURN TO THE GARDEN ENTRANCE.”

“But...I wanted to win…”

“ONLY TWO COMBANTANTS REMAIN.”

So, just he and I remain. My dignity rides upon this fight. No more idoling. Magi☆Kuni ends here!

I run to a copse of trees and lift up the camouflage I prepared earlier. I’m pulling out all the stops. I climbed one of the hunter roosts I had one of the Cús make me. Each one covered in a camouflage of leaves from their respective trees to hide them even more. I lay myself down and make sure my rifle is covered, I can’t give anything away. Now to wait. 

“HAKUNO!!”

Gilgamesh can be terribly easy to read sometimes. 

“COME OUT HAKUNO!”

Well, Archer can be. Caster, despite being arrogant, does use his head. Archer likes to let people get mad and overpower them completely or just overpower them. So no, sorry Archer, I won’t let you make me mad. I’ll wait you out. If you start destroying the Garden, the Casters will take their revenge on you. Probably turn you into a goose or something. 

“HAKUNO, YOU KNOW I’LL WIN THIS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“UURUGGHHH KISHINAMI YOU AVERAGE IDIOT MAKE HIM REGRET THIS CHALLENGE!”

Feeling that love of your Ishtar, really…

“HAHA! A USELESS THING LIKE YOU SHOULD NOT SPEAK OF REGRETS! YOU WEAR THEM SO WELL!”

“KISHINAMI RIP HIM TO PIECES!”

Why are their voices projecting so well? What happened to our comms? Deep silent breaths Hakuno. Concentrate on finding some flash of gold. Putting a target on his own head. Let’s see how well this works for you O’ King of Heroes. I wait and let my eyes survey the area around me. 

“Hakuno~”

There. I take aim and fire.

SPLAT!

“WHAT!”

I quickly drop off the roost and move back into the dense foliage. Running low and using the trees as covers I climb atop another roost. I’ve watched all those shooting games you’ve played Archer. Maybe you should have paid more attention to them then to trolling kids with foul sentences. 

“HAKUNO!”

So loud. 

So Golden.

So hit.

SPLAT!

“HAKUNO!”

Down and up to another roost. 

“ALRIGHT KISHINAMI THAT’S HOW IT IS! MAKE THAT KING PAY! MAKE HIM KNEEL!”

Getting a little into it there Ishtar. 

“I-ISHTAR! CALM DOWN!”

“I REFUSE! HE SHOT MY PRECIOUS BODY!”

“P-PRECIOUS!? YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT ON THE ARMOR!”

These two, really? Right now?

SPLAT!

Dammit!

I jump down and head for the trees. A splat hits the tree right by my head!

“FUAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAKUNO I’VE INDULGED YOU ENOUGH! NOW LOSE!”

Stay silent Hakuno. This is all to get into your head. Another splat on another tree. I dive into the river that runs through here and head for the bridge. I’ll use the maintenance tunnel, get to the other side of the garden. From there I can snipe him. 

“HAKUNO! RETURN YOURSELF IN MY SIGHTS AT ONCE!”

He only has one hit on me. I just need one more on him. Emerging from the tunnel I run to the bonsai terrace. If being around an Archer that isn’t Gilgamesh has taught me anything, it’s that a bird’s eye view is important. Especially when someone wears a GOLDEN HELMET!

SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!

Click.

Aww.

“HAKUNO HOW DARE YOU!”

“G0LD3NK1NGOFALL HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. SINNABUN1 HAS WON THE GAME. PLEASE RETURN TO THE GARDEN ENTRANCE.”

With a sigh I trek to the entrance. When I reached the entrance I’m stuffed into a chest of body armor and green hair curtains around me.

“Hakuno, you won!”

“Yeah…”

“HAKUNO!”

“AH, sweet Hakuno, my dearest BunBun, you’ve made me sad..”

“MOVE OVER FLOWER IDIOT! KISHINAMI YOU AVERAGE-”

“HAKUNO! HOW DARE YOU SHOOT AT YOUR KING!”

“You lost,” I looked at Archer, “so I don’t have to dress up as Magi☆Kuni.”

“Heh, Hakuno, do you believe our deal would be so simple,” Archer smirked.

“...”

Yes. 

“Hakuno,” Enkidu began, “you don’t have to dress as Magi☆Kuni for Archer, but Caster and Kid Gilgamesh can still pester you for it.” 

No.

No.

I felt an arm around my waist and I was pulled close to a smirking face.

“Try again...BunBun.”

Damn it.