#Hacker looks smug as always so you nailed him to a T

[clareguilty]

McSombra Commission Fic!

This commission is for @itshigh-boop ! This is a $25 piece. It was loads of fun to write! I actually really enjoy McSombra and I’m honored to have been able to write for such an underrated ship!

Word Count: ~2500 Rating: T/M  Warnings: Light violence, Mentions of sex

Jesse McCree was no fool. At least that was what he liked to tell himself. He had done enough-seen enough-to know what trouble looked like, and he did his best to stay out of it. The woman across the bar was trouble personified, all dolled up with cybernetics and purple lipstick. Her eyes hadn’t left Jesse since she had sat down half an hour ago.

Despite the threat lurking three stools down, the cowboy had kept to himself. He had every intention of finishing his drinks before heading back to his hideout and getting the hell out of dodge. There was no point in staying in Castillo if he was being watched.

His plans changed when the purple-haired woman moved to sit right next to Jesse. Her too long nails sent shivers down his spine as she placed a hand on his arm.

“What brings you to Castillo, Jesse McCree?” her voice had a strange melody, curious but all-knowing at the same time. Jesse was instantly on edge at the sound of his name.

“I imagine you must already know that,” He said, voice cold and defensive.

“You’re right, but it’s always polite to ask,” She shrugged.

“What do you want, Sombra?” Jesse allowed himself a smug smile as the hacker’s eyes widened. She wasn’t the only one in the business of information. “I thought you were Talon’s lap dog.”

“Talon is a joke, and you know it. I’m much more interested in why an ex-Blackwatch operative is monitoring the arms trade in Dorado.” Sombra raised an eyebrow over the rim of her glass.

“Let me know when you figure it out.” The wink was an accident.

He shouldn’t have taken her back to his hideout. Shouldn’t have helped her out of that purple bodysuit. Shouldn’t have fallen into bed with her only to wake up alone.

He should have skipped town that morning.

But he was back in the same bar two days later and she was trailing those freaky long nails over his shoulder and he made the same mistake twice. At least the sex was great.

She was gone when he woke in the morning, unsurprising. So, Jesse gathered up his pride along with his boxers and skipped town at the earliest opportunity.

He had no intention of ever seeing Sombra again. They existed in two different worlds, equally dark as they were. A cowboy living on the edge of the law and a trickster working alongside an international terrorist cell. Jesse was not the kind of man to give his time over to a disloyal, arrogant, blackmailing hacker.

Jesse reckoned he must have more in common with Sombra than he originally thought when he found her again in Dorado. Los Muertos apparently took issue with her leaving the gang like she did, and Jesse found her in a field of bodies, blood spattered on her cheek as she clawed her way out of an ambush. He had had the exact same fight with Deadlock back in his Blackwatch days.

The Deadeye took care of the remaining assailants no problem. He picked his way through the mess of corpses, snagging anything that looked valuable before making his way to where Sombra had collapsed.

She tried to fight him as he lifted her into his arms. He chuckled at her feeble punches and ineffective scratches, “Can you settle down for a bit?”

Sombra grimaced but stilled, conceding to the vaquero as he carried her to safety.

If Sombra had been of a better mind as Jesse laid her gently across his bed, she would have been predictably disgusted with his living conditions. Jesse was staying in an older building far removed from the town square. The bed was lumpy and moth-eaten, and the light flickered every few minutes. The cowboy was used to the squalor, but he knew Sombra had much more refined tastes.

The hacker seemed understandably disgruntled as Jesse tossed his ratty blanket over her shivering form and cracked open his only biotic field. He slumped against the wall and pulled his hat over his eyes, not committing to sleep, but allowing himself to doze.

Jesse rose several times in the night to check on Sombra, dampening a cloth to wash the grime and blood from her face. He wanted to do more, to dress her wounds and make sure she didn’t have any broken bones, but he didn’t want to push anything. Sombra would have no qualms about killing him if he made a move she didn’t like. He kept his distance and watched with desperation in his eyes.

It hadn’t taken Jesse long to figure out he had feelings for Sombra. He wasn’t the kind of man to take just anyone to bed, especially not twice. Danger or not—intel or not, something about Sombra struck Jesse’s heart. He had always been a sap that way, letting his heart make decisions that his brain should know better.

He wasn’t dumb enough to say anything about it. He knew that Sombra would never return his feelings, she was using him. He reckoned that he didn’t mind being used as nothing but a good fuck and a source of useless intel if it meant he got to hold the hacker in his arms for one night every few months. It was pathetic—he knew, but it was more than he had had in years.

Sombra turned in her sleep, groaning softly in discomfort. Jesse hated the way his heart twinged. He wasn’t often in the business of caring for people, and he knew that wanting to protect Sombra only created another weakness for his enemies to exploit. Her being one of them. He watched her brows furrow as she dreamt about things Jesse would never understand. There was no way things would end well for him.

Sombra jolted awake several hours later, bright hair all mussed up from her restless sleep. Her eyes searched frantically around the room, fingers reaching blindly for a weapon. Jesse had stowed her machine pistol well out of reach for that exact reason.

“Where am I?” she demanded. Her expression was fierce despite her rumpled appearance.

“Dorado. My hideout. I have a med kit if you want to dress your wounds.” Jesse got straight to the point. He was usually a man of many words, but he had to think quickly if he wanted to keep Sombra from leaving at the earliest opportunity. Jesse kicked the box across the wooden floor, keeping his distance from the bed. He hated having to tread so carefully with the hacker, but he couldn’t risk scaring her off. He didn’t know if he would ever see her again.

“At least make yourself useful and help me out,” Sombra rolled her eyes, tugging her top over her head. She winced and hissed in pain as many of her wounds reopened from the movement, the fabric of her shirt pulling at her scabs. Jesse hoped he didn’t look too desperate as he snatched up the med kit and took a seat on the bed.

Sombra was in bad shape. Covered in bruises and cuts, dried blood had caked to her dark skin. Jesse let her take the lead as she tore open several packets of disinfectant wipes and began cleaning the various scrapes that littered her upper body. The cowboy trailed after her with biotic ointment, carefully coating each gash with the honey-colored gel.

The process was meticulous and slow. Los Muertos had been close to killing their former member when Jesse had intervened. Both he and Sombra were surprised at the extent of her injuries. If McCree hadn’t shown up when he did, Sombra likely would have died. He shuddered at the thought and focused on bandaging any cuts that looked too deep for his liking.

“You can borrow one of my shirts if you like,” He offered, scooping up the mess they had made on the mattress. “I can take your stuff to get washed and it would give your scrapes some room to breathe.”

Jesse realized just how badly Sombra was hurt when she didn’t even speak, didn’t even fight. The exhausted woman just nodded and pulled the button-down Jesse had offered her over her shoulders. She dragged herself out of the rest of her dirty clothes for Jesse to take to the wash.

She was asleep when he got back, clean and freshly folded clothes tucked under his arm. Jesse noticed even more scrapes and bruises on Sombra’s legs. They hadn’t even made it that far after the first hour of cleaning and bandaging.

The outlaw sighed. He had dreamed about having Sombra in his bed, wearing nothing but one of his shirts. Now that he was staring at the reality, he realized how cruel the fates would always be. The Curse of the Monkey’s Paw he thought scornfully, fully intending to blame Winston for all of his bad luck.

Several more hours passed in silence. Jesse finally allowed himself to sleep for a few minutes at a time, but he couldn’t rest for very long before feeling the need to check that Sombra was still breathing steadily on the bed. She was always fine, but he always checked.

Jesse must have been asleep when Sombra woke next. The bed was empty. He scrambled for a few seconds, looking for any trace of the hacker, any sign that she wasn’t gone for good.

The machine pistol still lay next to his peacekeeper.

Sombra was still around. Jesse hated how relieved he felt knowing that he would get to see her again. Why did he care so much for someone who would never be able to return his feelings?

“Do you have any food, vaquero?” a clear voice snapped Jesse out of his self-pity. Sombra had returned from the restroom.

“Sure, uh, mostly non-perishables,” Jesse found a few cans of fruit and a package of jerky. Sombra didn’t complain as she took the food, but Jesse could read the disapproval in her eyes as she ate. Jesse’s lifestyle would never be good enough for her. He would never be good enough for her.

Sombra ate quickly. She was still dressed in nothing but his button-down, open in the front. The two had never really encountered each other fully clothed, and there was no need for modesty. Two sexually charged flings and one rescue from a near-death experience did not count as activities that required a full wardrobe.

Jesse did a good job of not staring as he checked his supplies and tidied up as much as he could. He prided himself on being respectful, even if he was an outlaw. Averting his eyes, all of his focus went into cleaning peacekeeper so he could distract himself from the woman sitting cross-legged on his floor. He didn’t even notice when she had finished and was surprised when Sombra appeared at his side.

She plucked the pistol from his hand and settled herself firmly in his lap, bare thighs on either side of his waist as she clung to him. Lips brushed his jaw. Fingers trailed down his chest.

Not again. Jesse thought as he tried to push Sombra away. He couldn’t let himself make this same mistake over and over. His heart couldn’t take it.

Sombra turned out to be very persuasive. Jesse let himself be dragged to bed. He just hoped she would be gone when he woke up. She would be gone for good, and he could move on. Curled against his side, expression softer than he had ever seen it, Sombra slept on, oblivious to the storm raging in Jesse’s heart. He tried to commit her to memory, the softness of her skin, the strange melody of her voice, the brightness of her eyes.

Dawn had never felt so cold. Jesse bit back tears and tore himself away from where the sheets were still warm. This was the life he had chosen. This was what he deserved.

It’s better this way. He repeated to himself as he packed his things. The day was still young, and he could make it back to the states by nightfall if he hopped the next hyper train. Dorado could be nothing but a memory by next week.

A shuffling noise at the door snapped Jesse out of his misery. Peacekeeper was aimed and ready as the old wood creaked open.

“Buenos Dias, vaquero,” a cheerful voice called “I have breakfast.” Sombra froze as she caught sight of the pistol trained between her eyes.

“Not a morning person. Got it.” The hacker nodded and took a careful step back.

Jesse holstered his weapon immediately as he realized what was happening. “Sorry,” he raised his hands and hung his head. “I didn’t think you were coming back.” The racing of his heart was making it impossible to think. He sat heavily on the bed, running his palms over the tops of his thighs as he tried to ground himself.

A warm, wrapped package landed in his lap. Food. Sombra had already started eating, devouring her own burrito with an almost comical ferocity.

Jesse didn’t even taste the food, too caught up in his own head.

Sombra had come back. She was here. This was her choice.

“You’re leaving.” Her voice called him back to reality.

“I-“ Jesse faltered, without the right words for the first time in his life. “I’ve been here too long already.”

“Were you even going to say goodbye?” The question was more sincere than any Sombra had posed before.

“I didn’t know you were coming back,” there was a note of bitterness in Jesse’s voice that he tried to catch between his teeth.

“That’s fair,” Sombra nodded. “I guess you’re not coming back?” Jesse tried to tell himself he was imagining the sadness in her eyes. He meant nothing to this woman; she had no reason to miss him.

“Don’t have much reason to,” Jesse shrugged. If he was going to leave, he was running out of time. The next hyper train left in an hour.

Silence reigned for a long moment. Sombra spoke first.

“Thank you,” her voice was quiet.

“For what?” Jesse looked up in surprise.

“For helping me. I don’t have a lot of people who would help me.” Her lip trembled. Jesse couldn’t stop himself. He pulled Sombra into his arms, holding her close. A shaky exhale into his chest made his heart fall.

Sombra pulled away. Jesse let her.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to fight back every emotion that was clawing its way out of his chest.

Lips brushed his. Soft and gentle, barely there.

Jesse took Sombra’s face in his hands, kissing back with more passion than ever before. She responded with matching enthusiasm, fingers tangling in his hair. He grabbed at Sombra’s waist, her hips, her thighs. As close as he had held her before, nothing felt like it would be enough. Weeks of longing had finally brought him to this moment, Sombra gasping softly into his mouth.

Jesse missed the hyper train, but he didn’t mind.

[trapmoon-vibez-blog]

♀ Double The Trouble Double The Fun ♂

Imagine the Joker and Harley having twins.

"We have to get dad the fuck outta there! it's been 7 months already!" your twin brother yelled in frustration.

You guys were currently at your mom's girlfriend apartment, trying to convince her to help break out your dad.But that would be complicated because she moved on from him and 'upgraded' to Ivy.Your brother didn't dislike Ivy he just thought of her as the hot plant lady, you on the other hand didn't take much of a liking for her, cause no one was good enough for your mother expect your father, the Joker himself.But you would never tell her that knowing she would be heartbroken if we disapproved of her girlfriend.

"Sweetheart I already told ya, I want no part of that man." Your mom replied, while concentrating on polishing Ivy's nails.

Your brother slammed his hands on the end table and got off the sofa "yeah but we gotta help him!" he growled.

"He can rot in there for all I care!" your mother yelled.You and Ace glared at your mother "don't talk shit about dad!" you guys replied in sync.

Your mom rolled her eyes "I not helping him, end of story!"

"The hell your not-" before he could say something he'd regret you interrupted him. "Fine mom me and Ace will save daddy, we'll go on this dangerous mission by are lone self and hopefully we won't be hurt by those big meanies~" you taunted innocently.And before your mother could reply you quickly grabbed your brother's hand, running towards the front door leaving your mother and Ivy.You knew your mom was going to worry after hearing you guys was going to break out your father, but you didn't care cause you needed your father the longer he was gone the more insane you felt.You and your brother had been wreaking havoc in Gotham out of angry, lashes out on the civilians and messing with those stupid lil Bat kids.You guys earned the name Jester Twins.

~

Ace got in his blue customized Lamborghini and you sat in the passenger sit beside him."So what's the plan, since mom doesn't wanna help and uncle Frost won't tell us shit about dad." your brother asked.

You ponder for awhile "what about that hacker ya know?"

Your brother laughed "I don't think he wants to hear from me, after I carved his pretty boy face up~"

Your eyes sparkled with amusement "that's okay, I guess we'll be paying an old friend a visit!" you giggled "now put the pedal to the medal bro!"

Your brother laughed and started the car, his laugh sounded similar to dad's laugh which made you miss him even more.Of course your dad wasn't the perfect father in the beginning but later he grew to love us, even though he'd never say it, we knew.Even though we almost killed each other on numerous occasions, we always seem to find the joke in every situation.But without him by are side, things don't feel as fun as before.After mom and dad's nasty break up are crazy family was divided.I remember mom use to kidnap us cause dad never let mom in the house and he didn't want her around us, of course he couldn't prevent us from seeing mom so begrudgingly he gave up, knowing how much we missed her.Sometimes I wished they would get back together again but seeing her this happy, makes me content.

~

We finally got to the hacker's apartment and as we started walking upstairs, Ace stopped you "just a warning this guy tends to booby trap his place, even though that's fun and all, it can be a real pain in the ass." you nodded "I have a feeling this is going be the most fun I've had in months!" you skipped in the house, not listening to your brother's warning and you stepped on a tile that turned a statue into a machine gun.You ducked towards the wall as it kept shooting at you.

After the bullets finished your brother looked at you with a smug grin "I told ya~" you rolled your eyes playfully and started laughing "I can't help myself, that was so much fun!" you and and your brother walked down the hall to find nothing but a dead end.You and Ace started to feel the walls and floors, in search of a hidden door.

"Found it!" Ace yelled and as he pushed the wall, it opened up a passage way down stairs.You and your brother looked at each other and as you was starting to walk in first Ace stopped you "let me go in first." you wanted to argue with him and tell him you could handle yourself but him being the protective older brother (by just 1 minute!) he won't have that, so you let him go in first as you walked behind him.

As you guys finally got down stairs, the hacker's back was faced towards you as he was typing on the computer, you both smirked at each other and ran up on the poor schmuck, grabbing both of his arms, he stiffened and looked at us with fear. "T-the J-Jester twins, why are y-you here?!" you and Ace 'tsked' "you guys always ask the wrong questions." you both replied in sync.You looked at your brother as he got uncomfortable close to the hacker's stitched up face and starting smiling at him darkly "you shouldn't ask us why are we here that makes us feel sooo...unwelcomed right sis?" you put you hand over you heart in mock hurt "that's right, aren't we friends mr. Hacker?" the Hacker chuckled nervously "w-what can I do for you guys?" he asked.Your brother hit the desk causing the Hacker to flinch "there we go, I knew you were smart!" Ace laughed.

"we need you to track are dad's location, he stuck somewhere in Belle Reve." You asked, as you glided your index finger towards each stitch, causing him to shudder under your touch. "I can't hack into the government's system, I could get into some deep trouble!" he yelled frantically, which caused you and Ace to growl.

You dragged your index finger roughly down his face, reopening his stitches, he whimpered in pain."this isn't up for discussion! you will find him or you'll answer to us!" you yelled.

"Fine! I'll do it, just give me some time." You and Ace grinned at each other "don't disappoint us." Ace said.

~

As the Hacker was trying to break down the firewall to Belle Reve, you and Ace was slowly starting to get bored as 30 minutes passed.you signed "how long does this take!" Ace growled.The Hacker signed and continue typing on his keyboard "it depends." he said.You guys both groaned in sync, when Ace phone started to ring.

"Who's that?" you asked.

As Ace looked at his screen, you saw his eyebrow twitch which only met he was annoyed. "it's uncle Frost, mom must've called him to check on us."

"Are you going answer it?" you asked.

"No, I don't answer to no one." he said as a matter of fact.You knew uncle Frost was soon going to call you if Ace didn't pick up, and right on queue you heard your f/c ringtone play.You took your cell phone out of your back pocket and answered.

"Hey uncle Frost, what can I do for ya!" you beamed.

"What are you two planning?" Frost replied bluntly, not in no mood for playing into your games.

"Were not planning anything, who told you such a thing?" you asked in mock innocence.

"Cut the crap Y/n, I know you guys are trying to break your father out."

You giggled "nothing passes uncle Frost's radar, huh?"

"I know you and your brother miss your father, but you have to trust me and let me handle it."

You stopped laughing, and you felt your anger rise "look we appreciate your concern, but we will break out are father, whether you like it or not!" you yelled.

"Look Y/n be patient, were going to get your father out soon."

You shook you head 'no' "I've had enough of being patient! me and Ace will save daddy." you yelled, and before Frost could try and convince you otherwise you hung up the phone.You sat back down, biting on your nail.We can't wait on uncle Frost forever!  they could be mistreating dad as we speak.Belle Reve is known for there abusive treatment, imagine all those meds there putting in him.You shuddered at the thought, me and Ace never been to that hell hole but you heard all the horrible things they did to your dad and you didn't like it at all.It made you mad to hear them trying to make your father suffer, but also you was proud of your dad for being so strong, even when you thought he wasn't in control, he always dominated a situation with ease.But no matter how good of a strategist he is, it didn't change the fact that he was in a dangerous place, where guards and inmates want to kill him.

"Will get him out, don't worry about it." you thoughts were interpreted when Ace questioned you.You smirked "what are you a mind reader?"

He laughed "one of my many hidden talents!"

You giggled "whatever you say~"

~

After 4 strenuous hours of dead ends, trying to slip into the system and almost getting caught, the hacker finally found out where dad was, he was in Belle Reve, the West wing, cell 5-b.Luckily for you Ace always keeps a mass amount of weapons and other strange shit in his Lambo, so you guys didn't have to take a extra trip back home.And secretly you didn't bring your Lambo cause you didn't want it to get destroyed nor even have a scratch on it.

Ace and you dashed out of the hacker's apartment and rushed to the car.

"Do you still have those uniforms and I.d cards?" you asked.

"Yeah it's in the trunk." he replied

You guys grabbed your bullet proof vests, machine guns, knives and smoke bombs, feeling fully prepared.You guys got into the car and you look at your brother with the happiest smile "you ready to fuck some shit up!" he nodded in a daze but you could see the determination in his eyes "let's show them who there fucking with!" your brother laughed darkly.

~

We finally got to Belle Reve and Ace called the hacker "open the cells first and then the main gate." then he hung up the phone, not waiting for a reply.You guys waited in safe distance, watching as the two guards got a call on his walkie talkie and you guys watched as they ran inside.You and Ace used this opportunity open the front gate that the Hacker unlocked.

Ace pulled you in the bushes and before you could protest he point to the two gunman 'securing' the area, and without warning you brother aim the gun with point blank accuracy, shooting them both with ease.

Ace laughed at you "I'm in lead, this will be 243, ya losing sis." you guys would play this game where who has the most kills.Even though it started off as a childish game to pass the time, you guys ending up competing on who will have 1,000 kills first before the other.

You hit the grass "damn! I should've shot them first."

He clutched on his stomach, trying to contain his laughter "d-don't be a sore loser!"

You smiled darkly "I won't, cause I'm a about to win!" you dashed out the bushes running inside Belle Reve's before the chaos dies down.You could hear your brother run and yell behind you as you made it passed the front door, you saw criminals killing guards, doctors and just about anything living!

So of course you had to get in some of this action, you started shooting anyone in your line of sight, while laughing like you've been told the funniest joke.

"Die pigs die!" You shouted.Finally Ace ran inside the building, joining the fun.You guys slowly made your way passed the dead inmates.Walking pass each cell till you finally got to cell 5-b. You and Ace looked at each other worriedly.

"D-dad?" you called out, hoping to catch his attention.Didn't he see all the cells unlocked?  and the further you walked into his cell, the smell of medication hit your nose strongly.

You nudged your dad "come on dad we gotta go." he turned around and glared at you, if he wasn't in restraints would he have attack me? he looked confused and angry.

Ace rushed up behind you, pushing you to the side "Get ya shit together dad! it's your handsome son Ace, and your annoying daughter Y/n!" he screamed.Even though it sounded very threatening you could hear the uneasiness in his voice.Your father stared at the both of you blankly for a couple of minutes.

"Y/n and Ace." he replied hoarsely.

You nodded fiercely while smiling "yep it's me, do you remember?!" he looked at us again while grinning tiredly "How can I forget you annoy lil brats."

You and Ace smiled and ran into you dad ambushing him with hugs and kisses, normally he would protest all of this affection but since he hadn't seen you guys in awhile, he missed  his two trouble makers...more then he would like to admit.  

"Alright...alright get ya paws off me!" your dad groaned "and get this straight jacket off me."

you nodded and cut the cloth off, watching as your dad stretched his muscles.

"Damn dad you look like shit."Ace blurted out, while observing your dad.

Dad rolled his eyes "that's how you speak to your dad, after not seeing him in awhile."

Ace grinned at dad and shrugged.

"And besides I never look like shit." dad scoffed. "now pass me a gun~"

You and Ace grinned at one another, you passed your father his customized gun.

"Let's make Gotham tremble~" you dad said darkly.

"Hell yeah!" you and Ace said in sync.

The prince of crime was back and it was all because of his impatient brats.Of course later you guys was going to be in trouble for not listening to his orders but for now...you guys had a lot of catching up to do, and a lot of trouble to start.

For more https://www.wattpad.com/story/108668229-joker-imagines-%F0%9F%92%9A