#HINATA GAVE ME SO MUCH TROUBLE WITH HER HANDS AND FACE IT'S UNREAL

[natasha-in-space]

:･ﾟ✧:･. Mint Eye Idol festival doodles! :･ﾟ✧:･.

Looks like our Savior came up with a new event to gather more believers... Her eccentric mind never ceases to amaze. It's a good thing she has many trusted followers to help make her plan a dazzling reality. Let's take a look, shall we?

Or, in other words: me doodling cmc's just because it's fun :D

Natasha certainly never expected that becoming an idol would be part of her duty as Ray's assistant... Her life in Mint Eye gets more and more bizarre every day. But hey, she has an impressive talent for singing, and once she gets some much needed training, she has no problem charming potential believers with her radiant smile and beautiful voice. Although her stage presence still needs some work. Still, it helps to know that Ray is just as clueless as she is. It's somewhat fun to learn something new by his side!

And yes, I put her into Hatsune Miku's outfit. She loves Miku! Just embarrassed to admit it. It's a good thing their production and costume designer is a huge sweetheart.

Next up, we have the most skilled performer in the group! Hinata is the one responsible for training Ray and Natasha on their stage presence, as well as their dance routine. Apparently it's way harder than it looks, go figure! As someone who knows a thing or two about being an idol, she's the one in charge, which their Savior is more than pleased with. She knows that their idol festival is in good hands with Hinata taking the lead. Their recruitment mission is one of utmost importance, after all... Who would resist a sparkling idol taking your breath away on stage?

Meanwhile, Chaewon is in charge of security for the event. Since Ray will be performing on stage with Hinata and Natasha, his duties are temporarily handed over in her hands. While their Savior did suggest for her personal bodyguard to join the others on stage, it seems that she has no sense of rhythm whatsoever... much to her own embarrassment. She makes sure that everything goes smoothly and takes care of any... sleezy individuals lurking in the crowd.

And Lila did a wonderful job producing and planning the whole event. She's also the costume designer! It's thanks to her that everyone looks so dazzling on stage... Although, nobody expected for her to come up with such an unorthodox look for Mr. Ray. But, it works! Natasha seemed very charmed by his leather jacket in particular. And, to support Ray on his first ever performance on stage, she even created matching outfits for them! Ray may be nervous, but the entire room fades away once his eyes meet his precious tester in front of the crowd, cheering him on and looking up at him with stars in her eyes.

Hinata belongs to @rfaromance and Lila belongs to @marshmallowprotection

Natasha and Hinata were based off of my favorite Miku figurines: Hatsune Miku feat my little pony Bishoujo statue; Hatsune Miku: Symphony 2019 Ver.

Chaewon and Lila references by @CommiGtl on Twitter

[southsidestory]

Bringing back an oldie that is pure comedic gold. I never actually shared the review here because it’s massive but you know what? I think some of you would appreciate it anyway! Random reviewer does get points for using his actual account and not dropping this pile of shit in my inbox anonymously. That I can respect, and for the sake of protecting his FF identity, his name is blocked out.

And for those who don’t want to click to embiggen:

“Another fiction (recommended by someone) concerning Sasuke and Sakura, and yet another grave disappointment. You have used Rinnegan Sasuke and adopted a monumentally absurd logic of him actually having trouble evading her during their training session? You cannot be serious! Why do all people infatuated with Sakura (or Hinata) and her non-canon “oh-so-awesome” speed (and her nonexistent and laughably poor CQC prowess) put her on such a high pedestal? It just baffles me. That is practically non-canon to the point of being grossly and obscenely OOC. Hebi Sasuke will cut her war-arc and Gaiden self down into confetti, even if he stands at a great distance from her (make it more than a kilometer, if you must), before she even has a chance to think, let alone blink. That is how fast Sasuke is. The guy was dodging consecutive Clay-based C2 (C4 as well) blasts that are well above hyper-sonic speed … in succession like it was nothing. The only time he got hit was when he let Deidara hit him to lure him into a trap. As for Kenjutsu, then people still misread that Bee battle and use the “underestimating thing” so freely without even paying attention to the manga (your S-Class mission took such a liberty there that it’s ludicrous)? Where Sasuke (despite being badly injured; as confirmed by Jugo and himself), was still faster than Bee to throw a sword into his other hand and hit himself with a Chidori before Bee even made a single stab; a fact confirmed by Bee himself (that the wounds were not fatal as he used Raiton to make them non-fatal)? Or Bee confirming and equating an injured man’s reflex action speed with Fourth Raikage in his Raiton cloak without the second “Bijuu chakra level” augmentation as Karin comments? A (Ae) guy who has been confirmed to be much faster than Minato when he uses Raiton armor (without “Bijuu chakra level” augmentation) as stated by Shee in the Viz translation of the manga? Or Bee admitting that Sasuke was the toughest opponent he ever took on? Where are you getting this from anyway? Who does a Rinnegan user have to underestimate? Who has this luxury? Forget that, how many opponents Sasuke took down during his training with Orochimaru? It led him to comment that he (when he was Sasuke’s age) was a lesser genius? Or Mifune (the guy with the fastest sword draw) commenting on Sasuke’s speed with the sword? Or Sasuke taking down several samurais as if they were cow-fodder; who were shown fight toe to toe Karui and Omoi (the same people who handed Sakura’s posterior to her in a second)? And she was using her Kunai and deflecting his attacks … just like that? It just bamboozles me … Then you showed that she deflected his Shurikens like it was nothing? Yes, like Orochimaru being lured into a trap by a twelve-year-old Sasuke did, right? Even he couldn’t do that. And that was when Sasuke was just a child. Or Danzo dying to one despite possessing about a dozen Sharingans? Or Deidara getting pinned by Fuma Shurikens despite being in air and throwing bombs at Sasuke? I mean, he STILL couldn’t evade them! Or Itachi, who could only match his prowess when he’s an expert in this as well? But Sakura is suddenly an expert in Shuriken-Jutsu; at Itachi’s level? Heck, he got his brother’s headband when he just woke up from a Tsukuyomi, stretched to 48 hours by Itachi and he was only eight years old then! By God! Should I go on? And “tossed” sounds like such an odd choice of words for Shurikens. Is he playing ball with her? Seems like it, as he left that one-of-a-kind dexterity and intelligence home when he sparred with the uber-talented Queen of ALL Ninjutsu (I will get to this point later), Kenjutsu, Shurikenjutsu etc. you name it! She’s so damned talented! And you are not even talking about these versions of Sasuke. You are talking about Rinnegan Sasuke; a guy who was much faster than Kinshiki (both in speed and in reflex action) and took his horn out and destroyed his created-swords, how many times? The only thing that threw him back was the force of the blows. Christ Almighty … he’s having difficulty with … Sakura?! Heck, the guy was much faster than Naruto (he has always been) in the movie. This is what irks me to no end about these Sakura-centric (or even Hinata-centric) fictions. Sakura’s status is upped to a ridiculous degree and Sasuke is dumbed down (a prodigy, might I add; Shikamaru also looked up to him by his own admission) to match Sakura’s level to such a degree that he becomes a painstakingly laughable, blubbering, hyper-romantic jackass who just … happens to be in love. Why? No reason. This fiction is no different. Why is Sasuke getting jealous of her sleeping around? No reason. He just is. When Sasuke in canon manga has always been an adherent of ideals and never a pointless, salivating chaser of romance and women. Which would explain why he only had sex with Sakura ONCE in over a decade. And that is canon-manga. Once he gave that to Sakura, he left her and never looked back. When he came back in the movie, it ends on a note of him standing away from her and looking off into the distance. In Gaiden, when she leaned in to kiss, he threw her an odd look and high-tailed out of her. Which version of Sasuke does this fandom keep writing? I don’t get. Really, I don’t. Then we have the issue of Sasuke crying in her arms and having nightmares, when he never did in the manga. Which portion of manga is this where he cried in her arms, or anyone’s arms, for reassurances or hurt/comfort nonsense when he isn’t even a child here? The only time that happened was when he fell down and was fainting with no control over his body after a lethal bite from Orochimaru (a bite that is only survived by one in TEN people). The kid was twelve then. The whole premise of your fiction is based on the sheer bastardization of his character. You have practically butchered it … and in second chapter, might I add. The very beginning! Your story goes on in a typical fashion, claiming scattered cliches of romances whilst not giving much value to what the manga actually exhibits. I have no issues with your genres. It’s your treatment that is bothersome. That admittance of “I didn’t listen to you” before Sakura about that criminal was literally the last straw; forget how absurd and unreal a Rinnegan user’s bloodied form actually was (I don’t even want to touch it, as it’ll open yet another can of nasty worms). It was another grave error of making Sasuke act like a complete fool before a ninja infinitely inferior than him on every front that it’s practically impossible to take this fiction seriously. When has he ever done that? Even after discarding Konoha’s putrid Nationalism, the only words he said to Kakashi were, “yeah, sorry.” Then we have the preachy tone of your fiction (till the sixth chapter anyway), where you define the clear tones of “hedunwrong” and go off with lengthy and highly hilarious comebacks from her and Naruto on putting Sasuke down. Disguising these admonishing tones with back and forth moods that is just off-putting. Give me a break! I cannot believe you are actually serious with this. Naruto would never admonish Sasuke or treat him badly (even mildly). The guy hyperventilated, let Karui sink his face in, was willing to commit suicide over Sasuke for crying out loud. He never went down this shady road. Heck, the guy repeatedly whined in several monologues that, “why don’t you come home, Sasuke?” and, “I understand how you feet” etc. The instance that made me drop this story was Sasuke sharing his … clan’s rite with Sakura. What on earth? You do realize that it requires “potent” Uchiha chakra to perform it, and that it has never, and I mean NEVER, been shared with or copied by anyone outside the clan? No one has managed it? Not even Kakashi. Why? Because if you had ever paid attention to the manga, then you would have realized that Uchiha chakra’s potency is comparable to the Bijuus (high-tier Uchihas). It is mentioned by Kurama and talked about several times in the manga. It is unmatched in the manga. Quite literally, given that Indra’s line directly inherited the Sage’s “strong Chakra” genes, Ashura never did. Now, one can let you off on the whole Sage inheritance as this was completed in 2014, but the rest still holds. The ground literally tears up and breaks apart when this technique is used when it happens with no other Katon tech from people other than the Uchiha. Sasuke broke apart a large stone wall with Dragon Jutsu when he launched it at the sky. How on earth can Sakura learn it … whose chakra is literally not even in a pathetic basket by comparison in regards to potency? I don’t care if it was just a knock-off version of it, how can she? When no one has … not even the Sarutobi clan who also happen to be experts in Katon Jutsus? Christ on a crutch, is all this even necessary? This out of character, sloppy take on a superman Sakura with such an “ah-sum” potent chakra, “ah-mahzing, theygoblindman” speed that gives Sasuke trouble (I gotta laugh at this), “es-pahshal” intelligence (when she’s canonically far below Sasuke, and I mean FAR below him) that allows her the accomplishment of such impossible feats? Her Chakra Control (CC)? You do realize that she would require CC at Sasuke’s level to even think about producing half the effects of the Uchiha tech as she lacks the chakra? Sure, her CC is pretty good. Excellent even. It’s above Naruto’s, as all he does is handle great volumes of chakra; the Bijuu literally hand over kneaded chakra to him. But at Sasuke’s level? The guy’s CC is at the Sage of the six paths level. Yes, this is manga fact, stated by Kurama itself to Naruto when he made a Pseudo-Mezo out of his Perfect Susanoo and poured perfectly controlled and kneaded Bijuu Chakra within it! Now, how can she produce such a control to even accomplish this given that three ingredients to produce this are missing; CC at Sasuke’s level or slightly below

CONTD … him, Chakra potency and distinct bloodline attributes? Apparently, it is of little issue as canon plot be damned! Honestly, this Sakura is such a Mary-Sue, capable of feats that must make her canon self dizzy and mad with envy. That’s the problem with romantic fandom here (NH as well, along with Hinata-Centric fics), they have little to no understanding of the manga. It doesn’t even seem like they have read it beyond the bubbles, contorted to suit their self-created romantic perspectives or fanciful notions of God characters and Naruto is the worst offender there, where he’s (hilariously) given a Sharingan and made to act like Sasuke, when that fandom hates the latter’s guts! All you have done here is assimilate several cliches and tropes to create a narrative that is built on a flimsy and improper footing. People do that with Uchiha brothers all the time. Make them chase like silly, idiotic men in the grip of a concept that is not even remotely touched upon in the manga. Not even close. Making them seem like these inconsequential, trivial caricatures that litter ever Samantha’s and Martha’s romance novels … and it’s quite painful to trudge through it. And that is not all, you have several pacing issues as well. There are abrupt breaks between scenes when they can be joined to the next one as the mood remains the same. Improper use of conjunction or it’s missing altogether. Dragged on scenes where pointless romantic mood is given priority rather than realistic characterization, which should be used to build a mood. That Sakura confession was the lowest point in this fiction till the sixth chapter bar Sakura’s “es-phashal” status as a ninja. Granted, we all make mistakes. Heck, I make them all the time and cannot seem to pinpoint them until after a month or so. But this is Beta-Read! How could your Beta not see these errors in genre and plot pacing in general, along with the over-use of OOC-ness to make this work AT ALL COSTS? I suppose fictions like “Aves of Maria” are a rarity, where the author knows they are dealing with a character that is not an exhibitionist of bleeding romance and is reserved and cold on such front. There, it was put under the carefully thick garb of lust. But, this is Naruto fandom and that was DeathNote fandom. That aside, it wasn’t all doom and gloom. You have quite a lot of positives as well even if the narrative tone is very troublesome. Your dialogues are clean and have a tinge of realism in them. The flow is (mostly) maintained and there is a good amount of consistency between the scenes. That is, perhaps, the most solid part of your story. You tend to remain consistent with the whole thing (good or bad). It tends to create a good flow that is hard to accomplish. As a final word, you have a solid footing as a writer. If you stop using tropes and cliches (like you have done here), then you can accomplish a lot. I may have sounded harsh, but I am a blunt individual. And I would never have reviewed it had someone not requested me to, to be honest. Anyhow, good luck on your future endeavours. I wish you all the best.”

I wish you all the best too, dear. *kisses*