#HIIII i hope my rambling is sufficient for now i'm still processing sooo much of that finale omg

[juniperhillpatient]

hey mutual i was just looking through your jackietravis tag and i just want to say i CANNOT WAIT to hear your thoughts on the finale.

Oh my gosh HI, my beloved mutual!

Well, I think THIS post (not mine) does a great job of summarizing the wildness of Jackie/Travis in the finale lol :)

But seriously, let's talk about the fact that Travis is still thinking about Jackie, still imagining himself as her! THIS is one of my favorite Jackie/Travis moments. Jackie doesn't ultimately seduce Travis with her usual sweet, flirty fun ways that she tries initially at the Doomcoming dance. Instead, she gets him to kiss her by reminding him that they are doomed. The "we're just shells with nothing inside" speech is what gets him to break & kiss Jackie even though he just admitted to being in love with Natalie.

Jackie & Travis don't even necessarily have real romantic feelings for each other. They're just the arms they fall into when they're both hurt & at their lowest - Jackie after the betrayal from Shauna, Travis after what he perceives as a betrayal from Nat. They're each other's comfort, their last recourse when they're both desperate & sad & aware of how doomed they probably are.

Part of what I love about these 2 & their dynamic is that they ARE the definition of "doomed by the narrative all by yourself darling?" They are both so doomed & so tragic & there was never a happy ending for either of them in the books. Not Travis, whose death is the mystery that kicks off Natalie's story in the adult timeline. Not Jackie, who's loss defines Shauna in the adult timeline, forever haunted by her ghost. They're both such dead wives <3

THIS is a really good meta about how Jackie & Travis are both treated as the group's "property" & I think it's interesting that in this season where Travis's mind & body have been so repeatedly violated & used, he thinks of Jackie, who was iced out (literally) & left to die for the crime of speaking up for herself & not acting as "property." (It's honestly more complicated than that, but you know what I mean).

Travis has been treated like Lottie's property for a lot of the season. We know that he manipulated Lottie into thinking Akilah was the new prophet of the wilderness, not him, & that he regretted it when he saw Akilah suffering in similar ways that he did under Lottie's thumb. But let's talk about his time as Lottie's prophet: Pushed to do drugs & make himself see things by the very person who initiated it when the group sexually assaulted him & almost murdered him when he was drugged unknowingly all the way back in Doomcoming!

I know that Travis said the thing about how "his favorite thoughts are Jackie's" & made the comment about Jackie & Shauna's slumber party make-outs partially to piss Shauna off. BUT it's clearly something that was in his head. Whether you want to go with the supernatural explanation or not that's INTERESTING.

Travis also mentions having some of Javi's thoughts, which is heartbreaking. I don't know if I think it's actually something supernatural (I've always sort of leaned toward...no? probably not?) but EITHER WAY. Travis has been hallucinating the thoughts of his dead brother, & the thoughts of his dead situationship who he related to in some fucked-up ways & that's WILD.

Does he think that Jackie & Javi's thoughts come to him because he ate them? He doesn't mention Laura Lee or Crystal & SURELY given that he spent this season interacting almost exclusively with Lottie (& Akilah, but he spent a LOT of time with Lottie) Laura Lee's thoughts would've come up.

Does Travis feel connected to Jackie when he hears her thoughts? Does he remember how they shared that messed-up comfort in each other's arms when they were both at their lowest? Does he look to her ghost for comfort because she was also assaulted by Lottie that night - though not nearly as violently, she was just locked in a closet but she was still humiliated for the blood on her clothes right after losing her virginity & treated like nothing by the rest of the girls. They both lost their personhood, in a way that night. I feel like maybe Travis doesn't see it that way but he might still connect with Jackie because of that, if that makes sense.

Anyway, I'm TOTALLY rambling. I love my doomed by the narrative failed situationship girlies <3