#HER GUILT THO :( ALL HER FEARS AND THAT JUST SHE JUST SOUNDS TERRIFIED OF HURTING AORI :( | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starilicious · 3 years ago

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der lagi lekin (hunter x force-user!gn! reader + ep. 8 fix-it)

》 summary: tbb episode 8 fix-it featuring a force-user reader who used to be a jedi. reader is a part of tbb and in a relationship with hunter, but the squad–nor hunter–knows that reader is a force-user. (disclaimer: all of this was written before episode 9 was released! see a/n for an explanation ^_^) (another disclaimer: if you want just the hunter x reader comfort, please let me know and i'll finish it up and post it!)

》 word count: ~8k (yeah, it's a lot LOL)

click here to read on AO3

》 warnings: in-universe swearing, mental breakdown, some slight sensory overloads, pretty mild panic attack, light canon-typical violence, angst + some comfort, survivor's guilt from surviving order 66, no use of y/n, slightly plot heavy because i got way too carried away in writing (whoops?) [if i should add more warnings, please let me know!]

》 spoilers: major ones for tbb episode 8 "reunion"

》 a/n: okay look, i gotta confess: this wasn’t supposed to be an episode 8 fix-it. really. i’m actually glad cad bane won because we get to see that the clones don’t always win every fight... i think it makes for a better and more complex story. anyway, i started out writing just reader and hunter comfort after episode 8 ended. but i’m weak for omega because she reminds me so much of my younger siblings and i ended up writing a wholeass fix-it to save her (even tho cad bane is a downright badass). i kind of liked what i did with building up the plot so much that i might continue this story of force-user!reader with tbb. but that’s a tangent we can deal with later. if you would like a part two with the hunter x reader comfort this was originally intended to be, let me know!

as i said in the summary, i wrote all of this before episode 9 came out–just be aware of that. because it’s so long, it took me a while to edit, which is why i’m posting after ep. 9 was released. but without further ado, i hope you like it! <33

》 misc. notes:

• title of the fic is from the hindi song "der lagi lekin" from the film zindagi na milegi dobara. i linked the song in blue and linked the english translations in green in case you're curious! it's not necessary to listen or understand the song, but i thought it went well with the fic :)

“Everybody get down!” Wrecker yells. You and the squad immediately do as he instructs, diving towards the ground and covering your head. Stars, I hope this works.

The charges the six of you placed around the gigantic cone that surrounds the core cylinder explodes in a deafening blast. You curl into the tightest ball you can manage, breathing so hard that the HUD inside your helmet temporarily fogs up. Metal shards of the explosion rain down on you hard.

For a moment, it seems like nothing happened. But then you hear the telltale, ear-grinding creak of the durasteel and the squad is roughly catapulted forward from the force of the cone beginning to fall down.

You struggle to stand up as you lurch this way and that, trying to regain your balance and stabilize as Tech calls out, “Hold on!”

You quickly glance at the rest of the Bad Batch, trying to see if any of them were hurt. Other than the absolutely terrified look on Omega’s face, all is well considering the circumstances. The metal groans and begins its descent, taking your feeling of being grounded with it. The weightlessness is uncomfortably familiar to say the least, but you ignore it as the six of you scramble to hold on to the side of the cone. You certainly did your fair share of acrobatics back in the war, but feeling it hum around you...it’s too much. It’s too much. You elect to push it back into the depths of your brain. But it doesn’t leave.

It never really does.

Omega’s anxious whimpers come in faintly through your thick helmet and you whip around, frantically trying to find where she is. But before you can find her, the cone lands vertically on its head and the force is so violent that your stable hold on the durasteel is broken. Panicked, you quickly fire a grappling hook towards the ledge where you were previously hanging on. The hook catches and you stop abruptly, the jerky movement almost wrenching your arm out of its socket.

You look down to see Omega falling from someone’s grip and into Hunter’s arms. You can barely tell where anyone is thanks to the lack of light and the incessant motion.

The cone begins to topple onto its side and suddenly, your wire snaps from the tension. You let out a scream of surprise as you plummet downwards, wind rushing past your helmet. ForceIdon’twanttodieohmyMakerohno–

But you never hit the ground, instead being flung sideways as the cone tears into two. On trained instinct, you tuck yourself into a ball to try and roll in order to break your fall instead of using it. That time is long gone.

You land with a sickening thud and hiss in pain as your back hits the metal hard. You hear something crack, but whether it is your armor or something internal, you have absolutely no idea, and don’t have time to check before you black out.

✧✦✧

You jolt awake, a sound making its way into your consciousness. Finally, the damn place stopped moving. You take a few minutes to try and relieve the painful pressure in your chest, reaching up to rip your helmet off because you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe.

You tilt your head back as you struggle to take in air and let the adrenaline subside. You hear voices in the distance and you strain your ears to pick up on the sound as you quickly check yourself over. As far as you can tell, nothing major is broken, and at this point, that is all that matters. Though, your head is pounding, and for more reasons than one

“–nter.. port side... what… status?”

You can’t tell who is speaking, the message too far away for you to hear. But the bits and pieces are enough for you to know that it’s someone from the Bad Batch and that you weren’t unconscious for long. You stand up and dust yourself off before slowly walking to where you believe the origin of the sound is.

“–engine… got company.” A blaster sound and then an explosion rings through the quiet.

Your eyes widen and you quickly pick up the pace, getting your blaster ready as you pick your way through the sharp metal that is jutting out from the ground.

You click on your wrist comm. “Echo, you there?” A faint crackle before his voice comes through, but the signal is scratchy. You frown in frustration.

“–are you? Hunter is... port side,” Echo says and you smack your commlink to try and get the electronics to work, but it’s no use. The device is broken, most likely from the fall, you deduce.

“Meet… Marauder.”

You don’t bother to answer, knowing Echo would probably not even be able to hear what you had to say anyway. Without a signal booster or repeater, there’s no way you can get your transmission across the channel frequency.

It takes a few minutes, but you eventually find the night sky of Bracca blinking down at you at the end of the ripped off cone. You run out to find that you’re in the middle of where the cone broke in half. Okay, new plan. I need to find Hunter. Hunter will know what to do.

You scan your surroundings. The HUD isn’t picking up on any lifeforms near you, and you realize with sinking dread that you have no more options. Whichever piece you climbed through to get to your squadmates, it would take too long for you to search for them since you don’t know their coordinates and your comm isn’t working. Frankly, the Empire–Crosshair–would find you first. You have to use it.

You have to use the Force.

A wave of nausea overcomes you at the mere thought of it and you sway. In an attempt to ground yourself, you tear off your helmet to breathe some fresh air and end up keeling over as the bile rises in your throat. Nothing comes out. You can’t tell if that’s a positive or not.

You could have saved them. Someone. Anyone.

It itches at you in the back of your head, wishing to be let out of its cage. But you can’t. You can’t do it. What’s the use anyway? All you would be doing is saving yourself. The choice of surviving it all has haunted you ever since. Your head pounds in agony.

You saw it happen. You could have helped them. And you ran like a coward. Only ever concerned about yourself.

You inhale sharply as the scene flashes before your eyes, clones shooting at you and the other Jedi. The blaster fire. The confusion. The screams.

How pathetic.

The last statement, an echo of Crosshair’s words, bounces around in your brain. You clutch your head as you let out a heartbroken sob, knee deep in the dirt and metal and grief. Tears create clean tracks down your face as you finally break down, the flood of emotions bursting the dam open. At this point, you don’t know if the emotions are yours or the ones you previously felt through the Force, all of them swirling and blending into one. The bottled up anguish merged together when you attempted to cut yourself off from the Force after the clones–your friends–attacked.

The pain of their death is perhaps the worst of all. Horror courses through you as you finally process your friends and mentors dying around the galaxy, their deaths, their distress, their fear reverberating heavily throughout the Force. Each one cripples you further as you once again struggle to breathe.

It feels like light years pass when you finally calm down to a practically numb state of being. The scenes stop replaying behind your closed eyelids and the echoing shrieks die down to a faint, hollow whisper. You’re suddenly exhausted, limbs heavy and energy sapped. It was almost relieving to finally let the Force once again flow through your body, your nerves lightly tingling with potential despite how tired you feel. You collapse onto the ground and try to recenter yourself.

But despite finally acknowledging the loss, it doesn’t feel right. You didn’t get to say goodbye. You hadn’t been able to even think about them, much less honor them, too focused on going on the run to concentrate on anything beyond the next day’s survival. Even once you joined the Bad Batch, you were paranoid about their chips, about your friends turning on you at any moment. You were always extremely reluctant to engage in the Force, even at the worst of times.

With a start, you realize that you don’t need to worry about your squadmates. Their inhibitor chips are now gone. You… you are safe.

You let out a shocked laugh as it sinks in. A glimmer of hope, of peace. I’m safe.

You sit up then, criss-crossing your legs as you survey the broken landscape of Bracca. Despite the planet being a graveyard, you feel lucidly alive. Perhaps something died in you, that wretched day. But something else, slowly but surely, began growing in its place. It’s meek, but it’s there.

You let out a breath and close your eyes, reaching for the Force like it’s an old friend. It accepts your invitation with hesitation, joining hands with you as if you did not try beating it to death for days on end. You sink into the gentle lapping waves of the Force, extending into it and widening your scope.

There’s something that lurks beneath the surface, in the deep. Dark and sinister and so utterly painful. It calls to you, quiet and low. Enticing. Tempting. And something in you knows that it’s the reason for your previous life’s demise.

But you can feel Hunter’s–and Omega’s, you realize–presence near you in the Force. Even with your relatively damaged connection to the Force after Order 66, the Bad Batch’s Force auras were something you could always hone in on. You let yourself direct your focus to the duo, letting their emotions be your beacon to the acceptance of the Light side of the Force.

In a split second, you decide to not dive deeper into the Force. This isn’t the place nor the time to discover what is prowling in the endless yawning of the Force, to discover why everything happened. So you direct your concentration to the beings on the planet, feeling and breathing your way through the Life Force.

You freeze. There’s something here. No… someone. Your eyebrows furrow as you divert your attention away from your friends and other organisms to the peculiar source. Something about this person strikes you as familiar.

Your eyes snap open and you gasp. I’m not alone. A Force-sensitive. Someone survived. Giddy beyond belief, you snatch up your helmet and begin trekking your way across the wreckage in the opposite direction of Hunter and Omega before pausing. Whoever this person is doesn’t know about your presence on the planet.

And despite the fear you felt emanating off of them in the Force, you somehow knew they were safe, at least for now. And they would remain so if you have anything to say about it. Maker forbid anything that jeopardizes this person’s fragile safety. After all, you know best what it’s like to constantly flee scene after scene.

Staying away is the best thing to do. I’ll come back for you, whoever you are.

You double back and make quick work of getting across the debris as you focus your concentration on Hunter’s and Omega’s Force signatures. As you get closer to the port side, you hear Omega’s high voice. Through your HUD, you can see her small form. You grin. She disappears then, and on closer inspection, you figure she jumped through some broken cargo doors.

The entrance she and Hunter took is too high for you to jump up to, even with the aid of the Force. Combined with your wariness of probe droids, you decide to take a different route from the right side, climbing up the broken ship. The slick oil mixed with the water still present on the metal makes for a difficult trek, and you slip more times than you would like to admit.

Hunter’s gruff voice floats up towards you and you scramble the last few meters to the edge of a hole in the ceiling before pausing. The Force is itching at the back of your head. Something’s wrong.

You peek over the edge of the giant slab of durasteel that created the hole to see bodies in white armor littered everywhere–clones, you realize. Your heart pangs in sadness at the sight.

Slightly to your right, a blue figure and a techno-service droid stand in front of a ship and a frightened Omega stands behind a defensive Hunter. Your mouth drops open. Kriff.

Cad Bane.

A memory from near the beginning of the war hits you in full force. You and Anakin had taken some time on Coruscant to catch up with each other after you passed your trials and were promoted to Jedi Knight. He told you about a mission where he had to stop a bounty hunter who successfully stole a Jedi holocron. You remember how surprised you were when you heard the bitter disgust in Anakin’s voice. The ruthlessly cunning bounty hunter not only threatened to kill Ahsoka, but he murdered Master Ropal.

Judging by the looks of it, Hunter doesn’t know who he is. If the Anakin Skywalker had a difficult time with Cad Bane, there is no way in sithhell Hunter can take him on, even with his enhanced senses. Frankly, you seriously doubt you can either, especially with how rusty your Force skills are now. And that means this isn’t going to end well.

You watch carefully as you tune into the conversation.

“Ain’t you smart?” Bane smirks. “The kid’s got it all figured it out.”

“You’re in trouble now!” the droid exclaims, pointing at Hunter and Omega. You grit your teeth in annoyance.

“Who hired you?” Hunter asks. Stalling. Not a bad move, Hunter.

“Son,” Bane sighs, already done with the brief conversation. “That’s confidential information. Now hand her over.”

Omega stays behind Hunter, taking a knee as Hunter walks forward protectively. You bristle. How am I supposed to help from up here?

“She’s not going anywhere.”

Your eyes drift over the scene in a panic and you take in the fallen clones again. An idea pops into your head. It is desperate, but at this point, you don’t have much of a choice.

Bane mimics Hunter’s movement, walking forward and putting a hand near his belt. The tension is as thick as duracrete.

“That’s unfortunate… for you.”

You grab the long barrel piece from your belt, fitting it over your blaster hurriedly as the showdown begins. Out of the corner of your eye, you see them staring each other down and you can’t help but roll your eyes. Men.

During the war, Crosshair helped you re-engineer your weapon so you could put together various pieces in the field to make a blaster gun that loosely resembled his own sniper. Seeing the clones reminded you of him. A wave of sadness washes over you, but you shake your head. Now is not the time.

You screw on the telescopic sight and set up your makeshift sniper. You peer through the viewfinder and find Bane’s chest. Your finger tenses over the trigger.

You let yourself sink deep into the Force, let it guide your actions. Inhale. Exhale. I can do this. As you relax, the mellow warmth you missed so dearly washes over you, gently eroding the torment in your mind and heart, guiding your focus to the here and now. Trust in the Force.

Wait.

Now.

You fire two bolts straight into your target the same exact moment Bane and Hunter shoot each other. Hunter’s shot hits the droid, breaking off its leg. Bane’s shot hits directly in Hunter’s chest, as yours did Bane. Both men immediately fall backwards and slam into the ground.

“My booster!” Oh. So not a leg. Got it.

“Hunter!”

Kriff kriff kriff. You jump down nimbly from your hiding spot in the ceiling and immediately sprint towards the duo. Is he dead? You would unapologetically release sithhell on Bane if he killed the man you love.

Omega panics as she tries to wake Hunter up, continuously calling his name before taking a glimpse of her surroundings. Before you can react, she grabs her bow and pulls it taut, aiming at you. She looks petrified.

“Whoa! Omega, it’s me!” you exclaim, holding your hands up in surrender. She takes a moment to actually look at you before sagging in relief. Suddenly, the droid comes speeding out of nowhere and Omega shoots, the energy bolt whizzing past your waist and straight into the droid before it can attack you from behind.

The shot rings true and the grumpy robot falls. You turn around to grab at its exposed parts under its head and yank them out to make sure it can’t power on again.

“Thanks, Omega. I owe you one,” you say and Omega gives you a proud smile.

You place a comforting hand on her shoulder before kneeling down to shake Hunter awake, but it doesn’t work. You take a moment to analyse Hunter’s Life Force. It’s a bit dimmer, but it’s constant, meaning he’s out cold and doesn’t have the life draining out of him. You let out a sigh of relief. He’s alive. You glance back to see Bane still not moving. Good.

“What’re we gonna do?” Omega whispers as you both peer down at Hunter. His armor is smoking from Bane’s blaster shot and you exhale through your teeth, trying to come up with a plan. You slip off a glove to check Hunter’s pulse–it’s strong. You don’t want to leave Omega alone, even if Bane is unconscious, but you aren’t sure you have a choice.

“Well we can’t carry him to safety, neither of us are strong enough for that,” you think aloud, gears churning in your head. You would have to wait for help, even if you were sitting ducks.

Briefly, you entertain the thought of taking Bane’s ship. The only problem is you don’t know what trackers or other gadgets are in there–it’s too costly of a risk and a price you weren’t willing to pay. You sigh, resigned.

“Omega, you try to comm the others and see if you can wake Hunter up. I’m going to go inside this guy’s ship and see if I can find something that can help us. We have to get out of here before the bounty hunter wakes up,” you instruct and Omega nods, youthful determination flooding back into her eyes.

You leave her to it, walking cautiously towards Bane’s ship. You look down at him. His armor is smoking in two places from the shots you fired. Based on what you see, he’s still unconscious, and his Life Force reflects the same conclusion. How long that would remain, you don’t know. Which means you need to work fast.

You board the ship while you remove the sniper attachments from your blaster and clip them back onto your belt. You keep your guard up as you look around. No droids. Guess that techno-service droid is his one and only.

In an effort to slowly re-familiarize yourself with the Force, you send out a quick pulse through it to see if there are any lifeforms aboard the ship, relaxing when you find none. You rummage through all the cabinets that you discover, looking high and low as you try to locate something of use. The secret compartment in the cockpit proves to be the fruitful reward to your search. With a wave of your hand, you unlock it with ease. Bingo.

Credits. Bags of them. And they’re unmarked creds, which make your score even better. Hopefully, it would be enough to pay off your debt to Cid and give the Havoc Marauder some much-needed upgrades.

Usually, you would feel bad about stealing from someone, but considering this was a bounty hunter – Cad Bane, no less – you figure you can risk treading the grey area of your moral code.

You grab as many bags as you’re able, stuffing them inside your backpack and clipping the rest onto your belt. At this moment, you’re incredibly grateful to Tech and Echo for designing a sturdy utility belt that fits you well. The standard ones were for clones and you definitely were not a clone.

You exit the cockpit and head to the second level of the ship to see if there’s anything else you can find. A stack of crates sits in the corner across from what you assume to be a prison. You scrunch your nose in disgust as you open one to find medical supplies. Bacta patches and gel, vitapaste, rations, water, gloves, sanitary napkins–it was all there. Delighted, you close the crate and click the repulsor to make it levitate. Oh how you love technology.

You turn around and walk back up the stairs to leave the ship. You freeze at the exit ramp. You have got to be karking kidding me.

“Sorry lil’ lady.”

Cad Bane stuns Omega in front of your eyes before rounding on you and immediately fires. In a desperate attempt to save yourself, you throw your hands up and the honeyed power of the Force rushes through every fibre of your being. The blaster bolts slow down to a snail-like crawl and your eyes widen. How did I…?

Never mind how you argue with yourself. Time to get out of here!

You tiptoe around each bolt, the effort of keeping them in stasis becoming more difficult with each passing moment. You grit your teeth as your arms shake, but you keep going until you are finally off the ramp. You lower your arms and the energy hits the inside of the ship, spazzing out the blinking controls inside.

Bane turns to you in surprise, astonished at how you’re suddenly in front of him. You don’t give him the luxury of processing the event and immediately punch him in the face with as much strength as you can muster. Bane pitches backwards and collapses onto the ground, just as he did the first time. You grab your stun blaster and shoot him as extra assurance. You really did not want this to repeat again. Hopefully he never wakes up with a memory of what I just did...

“Now stay down,” you mutter to a knocked out Bane, cradling your now injured hand. You have no idea how Wrecker ever does this because wow your hand is killing you.

You have to say, you’re pretty proud of yourself for being able to render him unconscious not once, but two times. You wish you could tell Anakin–the thought saddens you. He’s probably dead too.

With that vividly cheery thought, you stagger back from the ramp in exhaustion, weary from the sudden surge of the Force still ebbing and coursing through your body.

None of the Bad Batch knew you used to be a Jedi–not even Hunter. It was something only a few of your closest Jedi friends and the Jedi Council knew about.

But after what happened today, with Rex helping your squadmates get their inhibitor chips out, with you finally letting the Force in… maybe it is time to tell them. The secrecy wouldn’t be needed anymore now that you were sure you were safe around your friends. But clearly, the universe wanted to throw a nasty vibroblade in your plans by knocking Hunter and Omega unconscious and having the best kriffing bounty hunter in the galaxy be hot on your heels.

You take a few seconds to get your breath back and regain your mental energy. You aren’t out of the woods yet. You run inside Bane’s ship to grab the crate of medical supplies before sprinting back out towards Hunter and Omega.

You lean down and pat Omega’s cheek gently, trying to wake her up, but she’s out cold. Why is everyone around me unconscious? Frankly, you’re equally amused and terrified by the situation laid out in front of you.

You sigh, looking around to see if you can find some cover. There’s a giant sheet of durasteel to your left, big enough to act as a barrier in case trouble comes knocking. You bend down and pick Omega up before placing her down cautiously, leaning her small body against the metal. You repeat the action with the crate you found.

The third time proves to be much more difficult. Hunter certainly isn’t as muscular as Wrecker, but he sure as sithhell isn’t as light as Omega. You tap your foot nervously, trying to figure out a way for you to lift him. Yes, you could use the Force, but you don’t want to alert the other Force-sensitive on the planet. If they knew about your existence, it could put them in danger, and that was the last thing you wanted.

Giving up, you place your hands underneath Hunter’s armpits and effectively drag him all the way over, propping him up as you did Omega. You cringe at the sound of his armor grating the floor. There are sure to be dirty scuff marks on it now. Sorry Hunter.

Just as you’re about to sit down next to him, heaving deep breaths from the exertion, you pause. A warning is practically blaring in the Force and you tense, urgently trying to figure out the cause.

“Not again,” you mumble under your breath. You can’t handle any more action today. With Hunter and Omega both down, and your extreme fatigue from engaging in the Force, you don’t know how much of a fight you can put up. Not to mention you never trained as a soldier. There was a reason why you left the military planning strategies to the Bad Batch.

You hold your blaster close to your chest as you scan the environment. Bane is immobile and so is the dismantled techno-service droid. So what’s wrong?

Ten nerve-wracking seconds pass before you get your answer. Clone voices waft up to your hiding spot and you bite your cheek in frustration as your head continues to pound. Your headache still hasn’t stopped.

There is no way you can fight them all off, especially if Crosshair is with them. They are too far away for you to get a read on how many there are, and frankly, you’re much too scared to even peek around the durasteel to count.

One of Tech’s previous statements floats through your mind. About three attack shuttles worth.

You can feel your heart thumping wildly in your chest, blood rushing through your ears as anxiety ties your stomach into knots. I can’t do this, I can’t do this, Ican’tdothis.

You take deep breaths, doing your best to clear your mind and focus. You had to do this. There is no other option other than surrendering or dying. No, damnit, you would go down fighting until the Life Force left you.

You peer just past the edge of the metal to see at least twenty clones heading your way. Certainly not ideal, but you bide your time. If you started shooting now, you couldn’t use the element of surprise to your advantage and they would easily overwhelm you. But once they’re close enough, you hope you can at least take a couple out before having to resort to using the Force. It isn’t ideal, but it’s all you have.

Honestly, you don’t know if you could get out of this one alive, much less protect Hunter and Omega too. Maker help me.

It throws you off when they finally come into sight–you see how plain the clones’ armor looked without paint. You never really noticed it before since you were always running for your life in those circumstances. But now that you think about it, you are so used to seeing bright blue or green or yellow that the alabaster white just seems so… odd.

“Looks like a big fight happened here.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. All these men are dead.”

Now.

You whip your body around the metal and immediately begin shooting as fast as you can pull the trigger, trying to make every shot count. The troopers hesitate for just a moment, most likely due to their surprise of you being there. But that second is all you need.

You take out the three men closest to you before jumping back behind the metal as their barrage of fire rains down on you. You do your best to shoot back and manage to take out one more clone, but they’re beginning to gain too much ground too fast. I can do this. I have to do this.

As far as you can tell, Crosshair isn’t with the clones attacking you, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t set up shop somewhere nearby, waiting to shoot you.

You shudder. It’s a chilling thought.

You grab one of your last detonators from your belt and hurl it as far as you can. The rapid beeping rises quickly in pitch before the charge explodes. Anguished cries reverberate throughout the area, and you briefly feel sorry for having to take such drastic measures as you feel their Force signatures dim swiftly. But you don’t have a choice.

Peeking around the corner, you count around eight to ten clones down. Not bad considering the circumstances.

You continue shooting as much as you can but now the troopers are much too close for comfort and you’re feeling overwhelmed. The durasteel you are using for cover isn’t meant to take this kind of damage, and the integrity of your shield is quickly waning as told by the constant creaks and groans. You don’t know what to do. Will we make it?

In your haste of shooting first and panicking later, you don’t notice Hunter groaning, finally waking up. And before you have time to even glance at him, the familiar hum of the Havoc Marauder and its lights shine down on you. Your sag in relief. Looks like Omega was able to comm them after all. Never before have you been so glad to see the beat-up hunk of junk. (You would never say that to Tech though–the Marauder is his baby, his pride and joy.)

Echo, Wrecker, and Tech all race off the ship, guns ablazing. Wrecker and Tech stand guard, serving as cover fire while Echo bends down to help you out.

“Hunter, wake up!” Echo hisses and smacks his helmet lightly. Hunter mumbles in pain as he starts to move, trying to look around as his HUD boots back up. Seriously? Now you wake up? you think sarcastically. But you’re much more relieved at the fact that he has actually woken up.

“What happened? Where’s Omega?” Wrecker bellows, worried.

“She’s right here, I’ve got her!” you shout back at the same time Echo says, “He was shot in the chest plate.”

You pocket your blaster and gather the young girl in your arms with every last bit of strength you have left. You aren’t strong enough to hold her in one arm and shoot with the other. That is much more up Wrecker’s alley.

“We have to get him on board!” Tech exclaims as he helps Echo support Hunter. You pick Omega up in both arms and bolt for the ship as fast as you can while yelling at Tech to grab the crate of supplies.

“Incoming!” Wrecker calls out as a fresh wave of troopers advance towards the six of you. You grunt as you deposit Omega in a chair near the controls before pulling out your blaster and helping Wrecker shoot down the men racing towards you.

“Got him. Tech, fly us out of here!” Echo commands while Wrecker makes a gesture for them to get on the ship faster. Hunter stumbles as he does his best to upright himself.

“Go go go!” Wrecker exclaims. Tech shoves the crate next to Omega’s seat and makes a beeline for the cockpit as you continue shooting, moving to the side to make space for Echo and Hunter to come on board. Wrecker quickly climbs in right after them and the ramp closes shut.

Tech immediately pilots the Havoc Marauder up and away from the scene. You vaguely hear the sound of blaster fire hitting the bottom of the ship while you drop your blaster on the ground and wrench Hunter’s helmet off in a panic. You take his face in your hands as you scan him quickly, trying to figure out if he’s hurt or not.

Hunter bats your hands away. “He... he took Omega,” he says and you shake your head. Wrecker pipes up from behind you to respond.

“Who? Crosshair?”

“The bounty hunter,” Hunter mutters as he rubs a hand over his face. Before Wrecker can answer again, you step in.

“No, he didn’t. I took him down. And no, he’s not dead,” you tack on quickly when you see Echo open his mouth. Echo shakes his head fondly and you just grin at him.

“She’s right here,” Echo says instead, pointing to Omega’s sleeping figure. Hunter turns in surprise to see that his brother is indeed telling the truth.

“How...?” Hunter’s voice trails off. Echo and Wrecker look at you expectantly, and Hunter follows suit. You sigh and take off your helmet, setting it down on the ledge next to the controls. You don’t look at them.

“It’s a long story.”

You don’t have a chance to elaborate any further because Tech walks in, interrupting the conversation.

“I’ve made the jump to hyperspace. There was a cruiser in the atmosphere, but I was able to quietly go past them by disguising our ship as a bounty hunter’s. They didn’t interfere. I put in the coordinates for Ord Mantell. I estimate our time of arrival to be five hours and thirty two minutes,” Tech reports and Hunter nods while you voice your thanks.

“Looks like we got time!” Wrecker says cheerily, pulling out an extra chair. Tech looks to you in confusion.

“Did I miss something significant?” Tech asks, concerned about the information he did not receive as he adjusts his goggles. You shake your head but now, all eyes are back on you.

“She was just about to tell us how she saved Omega,” Hunter supplies helpfully and Tech nods in understanding. He grabs a chair as well and sits down, interested in hearing what you have to say.

You look around the room, realizing you can’t get out of it. You are exhausted and just want to sleep but based on the looks you are getting from the boys, there is no way you can leave without giving a sufficient answer.

You sit down on a chair in between Omega and Echo and begin explaining.

“When the cone fell, it separated. I got knocked out when I hit the ground, but I don’t think I broke anything,” you quickly reassure as Tech grabs a datapad to scan your vitals.

“After I came to, I tried comming Echo, but my commlink was broken – I could only hear bits and pieces of what he said. There were some voices near me so I just followed them and–” you pause, not sure if you should tell them what happened. What you experienced, what you found out. “–I saw Hunter and Omega. The ledge I found was way too high for me to jump to, so I climbed up the side of the wreckage to see them and the bounty hunter facing off,” you say, choosing to leave the detail out. It was too personal. You still needed time.

All of them are listening intently, hanging on to every word you’re saying. Hunter’s gaze on you is heavy and loaded with questions. Tech is still tapping away on the datapad, but you know you have his full attention. Multitasking may not be possible for regular humans, but it definitely was for Tech.

“When I saw the bounty hunter, I knew Hunter wasn’t going to win,” you mumble sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. Hunter winces at your statement and you rush to explain why.

“Hunter, you have to trust that I genuinely don’t doubt your abilities. You are much more of a soldier than I will ever be. But this bounty hunter is one of the best, if not the best in the entire galaxy. He’s gone against the Jedi, and won. Based on what Anakin told me at the beginning of the war, Cad Bane is ruthless. He tortured Master Ropal and killed him. Believe it or not, I think he tried to abduct Chancellor Palpatine. Even Anakin had a difficult time fighting him.”

A tense quiet settles over you all as you mentally revisit your conversation with Anakin, and later with Ahsoka. She told you how it was one of the first times she was genuinely afraid that she was going to die, or at least get hurt very severely.

Echo’s rough voice shakes you out of your reverie. “How do–did you know General Skywalker?” he asks, clearly confused at how you referred to him on a first-name basis. You mentally facepalm yourself. How did I forget he served as part of the 501st? You feel incredibly stupid.

You could make up a lie, of course, but it wouldn’t be worth it. Hunter’s enhanced senses and Tech’s vitals scan could probably pick up on your biological signs, not to mention you would feel terribly guilty about not being honest. I promised myself I would tell them…

You blow out a nervous breath, deciding to at least give them something. They deserved that much.

“I’m–well, I was a Jedi,” you admit, staring down at your feet. You can’t bring yourself to look at them, feeling almost… ashamed.

The boys are shocked into silence and you cringe. There was probably a much better way for you to say that, but now it was out there. Yet the pressure that had been weighing down on you since you let the Force back in didn’t lessen.

“What?” Wrecker questions, thrown completely for a loop. “You’re a Jedi?”

Before you can answer, Tech pipes up. “When I reviewed your medical data, there was no note about an elevated midi-chlorian count or any sort of connection to the Force. Additionally, there is no documentation of you serving as a General or a Commander during the war in the Republic military records. How were you a Jedi? And why aren’t you one now? You used past tense in your sentence,” Tech adjusts his goggles as he attempts to register this new information that conflicted with his previous knowledge.

You sigh, drumming your fingers on your thigh. “I left the Jedi Order before the war ended. I promise I’ll explain everything in detail later, but for now, you have to understand that I’m just a Force-user. I trained as a Jedi, but I’m not a Jedi, not anymore,” you clarify, lifting your head up to make eye contact with each of them.

“Aw man, that’s so cool. You have to show us your cool mind tricks sometime!” Wrecker smiles and you agree to his request. It warms your heart to see him so excited.

“It makes sense. You must have seen the regs turn on the Jedi but didn’t know why. When you started traveling with us, you didn’t know if we would turn on you too, even though we’re not regs,” Hunter realizes, and you nod in affirmation. You’re secretly relieved by the fact that he doesn’t seem angry, just… just thoughtful.

“And then when I saw what happened to Crosshair, I knew I couldn’t risk ever telling any of you. But when Rex told us about the chips…” you trail off.

Echo picks up your sentence quickly. “You figured out you would be safe with us if we got our chips removed. No wonder you were so insistent on following what Rex said.”

You smile at the last part, a bit embarrassed. He wasn’t wrong. You were probably even more insistent than Rex was on telling them to get their inhibitor chips out. Better to be safe than sorry you told them. Though at the time, you hadn’t even thought about how removing their chips would impact you and your abilities. You were too focused on keeping the Force out of your body to entertain that thought.

Wrecker suddenly gets up and gathers you in a bone-crushing hug. “Well you don’t have to worry now! We got those stupid chips out of our heads, which means I promise we won’t kill you!” he says cheerfully and you can’t help but laugh as you hug him back, the knot in your chest beginning to unravel. You could always count on Wrecker’s wonderfully big heart to raise your spirits.

“You’re right, big guy. It’s honestly a relief. One less thing I have to worry about.”

Wrecker lets go of you and you pick up where you left off. “As I was saying, Cad Bane isn’t a bounty hunter we can take lightly. Crosshair helped me re-engineer my blaster to turn it into a pseudo sniper with attachable parts during the war. Because I was so high up, I could get a clear shot of Bane. From that vantage point, I shot him at the same time Hunter and Bane shot each other.”

Echo’s mouth drops open. “Damn.”

“What I didn’t expect was for Hunter to be rendered completely unconscious. So I told Omega to try to comm you guys while I went on Bane’s ship to see if I could find anything. And I did.” You pull off your backpack and dump out the contents. Bags of credits come tumbling out. You unhook the few bags on your belt and toss them into the pile.

“Bane had a secret compartment with a lot of credits. So I took them and that crate I yelled at Tech to get,” you explain as you reach into the bag to show off the Imperial credits.

Tech’s eyes widen as he lifts up a bag to inspect it. “I will have to calculate how much you took and mark it in the inventory, but based on my initial deduction, this may be enough for us to upgrade the Marauder and provide sustenance for at least a few months.”

“Nice one!” Wrecker compliments and you grin in response. “What’s in the crate?” he asks, walking over to lift up the top.

“Medical supplies. We barely had any left so I figured I might as well take that too,” you shrug as Hunter gets up to join Wrecker to peer at the contents.

“What happened after that? You said you told Omega to comm the others, which means she was awake. Did she get hurt while I was out? Is that why you look so exhausted?” Hunter inquires, astute as ever.

You bite your lower lip. “When I was getting off his ship with the goods, he had woken up again. Before I could do anything, he stunned Omega and then immediately shot at me,” you pause, wondering if you should elaborate on how you got out of the situation. You decide to come clean on this part.

“I… I don’t know how, but I was able to stop the blaster bolts and keep them – and Bane – in stasis with the Force. The problem was that it took a lot out of me. After not really using the Force for so long, my energy reserves were pretty much gone,” you sigh, absentmindedly rubbing your arms. Your muscles are still sore from the event.

“After that, I punched him and knocked him out again. I dragged you and Omega away from the ship so that I could protect you, and I ended up using that giant piece of durasteel as cover to fight off those clones. Then you guys came and rescued us and that’s that,” you finish, suddenly fatigued from the conversation. You slump back into your chair, perfect posture be damned.

“Wow,” is all Echo says, surprised by your strength. It took some serious stamina to be able to withstand so much for so long. Echo remembered seeing Commander Tano and General Skywalker be exhausted after some especially intense missions where they constantly had to use the Force.

“Yeah,” you mutter, massaging your dominant hand. It is still throbbing from the mean hook you threw at Bane. You don’t have any regrets. You glance at Omega’s sleeping figure and soften. The things I would do for this girl.

“Looks like I taught you well!” Wrecker laughs and you smile. When you first met the Bad Batch, Wrecker took it upon himself to teach you basic self-defense and how to overtake an opponent intelligently. Even though you already learned how to fight as part of your Jedi and military training, you couldn’t say no to him when he looked so excited. But it paid off because he’s right. Wrecker did teach you well.

“You did. You basically saved my ass out there with your amazing teaching skills,” you chuckle, glancing down at your hand. You think you’ll probably have to cover it in bacta gel to speed up the healing process before having yet another realization. (You seem to be having a lot of those today.)

I can just Force-heal. Before, you couldn’t Force-heal because it would look suspicious if something healed too fast. But now that they know, you don’t have to solely depend on medical supplies anymore.

Tech, as always, is right on cue. “Is your hand alright? For you to render Bane unconscious must have been no easy feat. Not to mention that according to the medscan I just took, you have a mild concussion, most likely due to your fall. I can run a medical diagnostic test to start and then run more specific tests to combat your pain...” Tech mutters the last part to himself, brain running light years faster than his mouth as his fingers fly over the datapad.

You debate it for a moment before nodding. “That would be great, Tech–thanks. But right now, I’m exhausted, so I’m going to go and crash in my bunk. Wake me up if I need to punch someone again,” you joke before shuffling away from your squadmates. You ruffle Omega’s hair affectionately as you pass by her and pick up your blaster from the ground before climbing down the ladder. You don’t notice Hunter’s troubled gaze or how his Force signature sours a bit as you leave.

You quickly clean up and throw on some bacta patches on a few nasty bruises. You sit down on your bed and pull the privacy curtain before deciding to open up your secret compartment next to your mattress. You stare down at the objects, the only things you have left as a reminder of the past. You reach down for one of them, about to touch it when you stop.

You shake your head and shut the drawer. Deciding to finally, finally hit the hay, you’re out like a light as soon as your head hits the pillow. Dealing with the Force and healing yourself could be done later. Not even your constant pain and crippling worry about your family friends could keep you up any longer.

please consider reblogging! it really helps me and is super encouraging ^_^

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shima-draws · 5 years ago

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FINALLY NEW OC TIME BABEY

The boy is Emrys, a prince from the Mirrorplane who is on the run from his own kingdom! The girl is Lacie, an orphan who was raised by a guild that rescued her from a somewhat abusive/manipulative friendship as a child!

More (incredibly long) info about these kiddos under the cut~

Emrys (or Em for short)

Age: 23

Hair color: Golden orange

Eye color: Red

Element: Lightning

Emrys is from the Mirrorplane, the parallel world to ATS. His kingdom is caught in a huge power struggle between all the other kingdoms, and Emrys’ mother, a queen who only seeks power from others, is leading them straight into ruin. Emrys is destined to receive the Crest of the Crowned, which is basically a huge emblem of power, as soon as he’s officially crowned as the king. Except that the queen plans to utilize the emblem’s power to start a grand war, which. Is not good!! The night Emrys finds this out, he plans to escape the kingdom along with his childhood best friend Lixin, a regular human who’s basically being used as a pawn to be married off to Emrys’ younger sister in order to create powerful elemental children. Yikes! Emrys is also engaged to a princess from another kingdom, but it’s an arranged marriage, and he doesn’t have feelings for her (so there’s another good reason for him to leave). Lixin is caught during his escape, and Emrys leaps to his rescue, but in the scuffle things get tense and he accidentally kills the guards sent after them. Hands stained with blood, Emrys stumbles into a portal leading to the other side of the Mirrorplane.

Emrys decides that he might as well stay there since he doesn’t know how to get home and he probably shouldn’t go home--he’ll be safer here, and this way his mother can’t use him to start a war. This goes alright for a couple months as he adapts to a world that isn’t constantly fighting with each other, until he realizes that his mother somehow sent people to come look for him and capture him so he can be dragged back home. He also hears word that Lixin is in this world as well. Emrys goes on the run, never sticking around one place for long, and tries to search for Lixin along the way. This is when he meets Lacie!

Personality traits

• Has a hard time trusting people in general. Refuses to get close to people in fear of them getting hurt. Because he's on the run and is a target he tries to keep to himself. A very lone wolf type. Doesn't want other people to get dragged into his problems so he tries to handle everything alone

• Very quiet, observant, INCREDIBLY intelligent--gets really absorbed in books when given the chance. One of the few times his facade falls and he gets Soft and passionate is when he's immersed in reading/studying. Loves absorbing knowledge from this world since it’s different from the Mirrorplane

• Makes scathing remarks often. Doesn't get riled up even when people tempt him. Is able to keep a very cool head most of the time. When he does get angry he gets STUBBORN. Refuses to let people try to talk to him or calm him down. Brushes people off and ignores attempts at support

• You know that he trusts you when he teases you or pokes fun at you

• Very wary. Always keeps an eye out for an escape route

• Careful around people. Knows his strength so he tries not to hurt others

• Deep down tho he's utterly selfless, unbelievably loyal to the people he cares about, and is a truly kind and generous person. He would sacrifice anything, even himself, to keep his friends safe, and beats himself up constantly if one of them gets hurt. Once he learns to open himself up to others he becomes Tender and is able to express himself easier. He's truly a gentle person at heart

• Is awful at romance because he has no experience (even being engaged) and gets flustered easily when it comes to anything with romantic intent. This is like the one thing he has zero confidence in. Lacie usually has to take charge in this department because he’s too hesitant and nervous to figure anything out himself, so he tends to follow her lead, which sometimes leads to disaster but they figure things out one step at a time!

• Was attracted to Lacie immediately but didn’t want to get close to her bc he knew she’d get hurt because of him. WELP

• Develops a huge guilt complex after Lacie loses her arm

Elemental abilities

Lightning elemental: Uses a thin sword/rapier to fight. Is VERY fast and agile. Usually starts by hitting pressure points and jolting them with electricity to numb the nerves. Doesn’t really like using his lightning directly so he tries to stick to the rapier as often as possible

He’s not a huge fan of fighting so he’d rather avoid conflict if necessary (especially after he killed someone on accident before). However he should not be underestimated in battle--he’s been trained how to fight from a young age so he knows what he’s doing. He uses a lot of tactics and smarts to get himself out of sticky situations

Lacie

Age: 21

Hair color: Gray/silver

Eye color: Brown

Element: Metal

Lacie’s parents died when she was very young, so she was sent to an orphanage shortly after. Her parents were bandits, labeled as outlaws, so a lot of the kids teased her and ostracized her. This caused her to hold a grudge against both them and her parents, even though they’d only resorted to thievery to provide for her and themselves. There was, however, one person who reached out to her there--an older girl named Gwendolyn. Gwen was very standoffish and didn’t care what the other children thought of her. She was the first person to treat Lacie normally, so Lacie grew attached to her. However, Gwen used Lacie and treated her as a tool to do what she wanted, but Lacie, too terrified of losing the only ‘friend’ she had, never spoke up about it. Gwen did care about Lacie, and there was a genuine friendship there, but that was overshadowed of her tendency to manipulate Lacie.

Gwen eventually hatched a plan to escape the orphanage and strike out on their own. Lacie agreed and together they snuck out in the middle of the night. (Sounds familiar? Wow, parallels!) The next day, Gwen tried to steal from a person in town, which ended up being a member of the guild nearby. Gwen managed to get to Lacie before getting caught and shoved the stolen items onto her, making her a target. Lacie realized how awful this was and finally gathered the courage to yell at Gwen. The guild member caught up, saw their interaction, and took Gwen in for questioning. He escorted Lacie to the guild, where she was pretty much adopted by the members.

Lacie grew up with the guild and learned compassion and how to forgive her parents. As an adult she’s a very kind, friendly and confident person. She is still burdened by her past but she tries not to let it get to her.

Personality traits

• Not the most polite person since she doesn't really have a filter

• VERY curious. Somewhat naive. Asks a lot of bugging questions if she doesn't know something

• Hot-headed and stubborn. Gets riled up easily, but can control herself when she's angry. Argues a lot but isn't fond of it

• In reality, a very kind person who cares for her friends and would do anything to protect her family. Spirited and determined

• Can be kind of silly, especially when she's trying to cheer others up. Emrys finds her amusing and calls her a dork

• A leader type character...one that can take charge of the situation when everybody else is losing their heads

• Willing to step out of her comfort zone and dive into new adventures without hesitation. She lives for the thrill. Is spontaneous and willing to take risks/chances. Drags Emrys into her fun a lot bc he’s so sheltered as a prince lmao

• Self confident on the outside, insecure in reality (a lot of this comes from the emotional abuse she went through as a kid). But not enough that it's crushing--just enough to make her second guess things sometimes, ESPECIALLY when it comes to Emrys because he's a rubix cube of emotions and she's always afraid of overstepping her boundaries--this is only when she finds out more about him tho. She doesn't mind being an ass to him when they first met because he’s kind of a jerk so her first instinct is to lash out at him

• Isn't necessarily a rule breaker until it's brought up, and then she gets excited about doing daring things. Is almost too enthusiastic about it sometimes

Elemental abilities

Metal elemental: Uses throwing knives infused with magic to fight. Being a metal elemental, she’s able to control their trajectory and can toss them around and have them zip right back to her like boomerangs. She mostly uses these to unbalance enemies and strike them hard enough that they get too dizzy to stand. After she loses her arm, she also utilizes the metal it’s made out of to temporarily transform it into usable weapons.

She’s fine with fighting and is hasty enough to throw herself into battle without thinking, but is fine with peace talks most of the time.

AND NOW onto how these two cuties meet ;)

If it weren’t obvious by now Emrys is a loner and therefore hates guilds and being associated with them. So naturally, after running into Lacie, he treats her with a lot of attitude and snark, which she retaliates against. After Lacie helps him chase off a couple thugs that he stole stolen goods back from (not the people actually chasing him), she somehow coerces him into the guild for a couple days, and he’s unsettled yet warmed by the friendly atmosphere. Emrys eventually admits he has to stick around town for a while to make some money, so Lacie offers to help him out by going out on official guild missions. Emrys is like I don’t need or want your help and she’s like alright fine then try making money on your own, guild missions pay WAY better and you can’t do one without an official member escort. So he’s like. Jesus fine okay I’ll go on the damn mission with you LOL

They go on a couple missions together and start getting close. Emrys is like oh no this is not what I want so he panics and tries to leave town, but Lacie catches up to him and yells him for leaving without saying anything. Unfortunately during this whole mess the trackers sent to follow Emrys find out where he’s hiding. He and Lacie go out on one last goodbye mission together and they get ambushed. They’re horribly outnumbered and even when Emrys resorts to actually fighting his hardest, Lacie gets terribly injured. Emrys manages to fight off the attackers, getting his hair cut off shorter in the process (which is why it’s shorter and in a cute little half bun in the second pic), but Lacie’s losing so much blood at this point--so he stumbles into the closest building in the closest town and GUESS WHO’S IT IS.

YEAH. IT’S THE ROBO FAM!! (Take note that this is like, 2-3 years after they return from the Mirrorplane themselves, so they’re around 25 at this point.)

Elias and Gifre are enjoying a nice evening prosthetic check date when Emrys stumbles into the mechanic shop, covered in Lacie’s blood, and begs for help before passing out. Both of them go OH SHIT and immediately leap to the rescue. As Elias, Gi-bot, Ava and Ignis (who were called in) work on patching up Lacie’s wounds, Elias realizes that her arm is too far gone to be saved. And this is kind of a sad moment for him since you know. He also lost his arm. So he can relate. Ava’s like you’ll just have to make her the best goddamn prosthetic in the world then and he’s like alright yeah, so they have to remove Lacie’s left arm and it’s. Not pretty.

Emrys wakes up several hours later to find that Gifre treated his wounds. When he asks where Lacie is and Gifre shows him, he immediately breaks down, because she got hurt SO badly because of him and this is why he didn’t want to get close to her in the first place. He laments over dragging her into his mess, and Gifre gives him a nice long Pep Talk, coming from a similar situation with dragging Elias into his personal issues with Python’s Blood. It helps a little, but Gifre can tell Em’s gonna be blaming himself for this for a WHILE (hence the guilt complex comment).

As Lacie recovers and gets used to her new prosthetic (and keeps smacking Emrys whenever he looks guilty about it), the two of them become closer despite Emrys’ attempts not to--but Lacie is stubborn and refuses to let him distance himself. They also get really close and bond a lot with the robo fam, having bunked with them for a while. The main part of the story is just these domesticity moments with the robo fam and their two new dysfunctional houseguests LOL

Eventually Emrys does find Lixin and decides to return to the Mirrorplane to sort things out with his mother, and that brings up a whole bunch of crazy drama, but the robo fam and Lacie come with him (and by that point he’s gone Full Tender and leans on them a lot for support so it’s NICE and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT), so things get sorted out one way or another. There is a point where he and Lacie have a huge fight because Lacie...finds out something about the Mirrorplane that she does not like, and it nearly shatters her entire relationship with Em, so that’s a big oof. But they get it all sorted out and it’s fine. The reason why their fight hurts even worse is because at this point they’re full on in love with each other but are both too awful at romance to actually say anything. They’re stupid and they can’t communicate and I love them

Yes they end up together because *points at self* I’m a hopeless romantic loser. Lacie becomes a princess of the Mirrorplane which is WEIRD as hell to her but she gets used to it. Also they actually don’t stay there, Emrys hands the kingdom over to his younger sister, who’s always been better at handling royal affairs, and comes back to the regular verse with Lacie to live with her there. They get a house in Spinel Town near the robo fam and LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER THE END

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fakecrfan · 4 years ago

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I would wait to ask something else but THIS is big news I need your answer to be Horrendously Public. The Tunnels canonically erase Eye influence. WHEN someone from the poleyecule gets down there (bound to EVENTUALLY) how would they each react to knowing what they've done to Martin? I assume brainrot returns if they leave the tunnels too tho and the Eye would probably note the issue and avoid letting them down there after the first time but I'd love to know the different post-brainrot feelings.

Okay so this one sort of overlaps with lighthausen’s response about Martin finding Mikaele’s house--in that the camera also blocks out the Eye enough that Sasha, Tim, and Jon all have to deal with the same guilt when they enter the camera zone.

But the tunnels happened way before that, and are the first time the poleyecule members experience being cut off--and thus experience the guilt. It happens during the Jane Prentiss siege, right before Martin gets to meet Leitner.

So let me first establish the Order:

Tim goes in first. Then Martin and Jon. Martin gets separated from Jon and Tim. Then Sasha goes in later, after the attack (having avoided getting nabbed by NotThem in this AU). With that in mind, here are how the reactions go:

Tim: when he first gets in he’s too concerned with survival, and the Eye’s influence has been less overt thus far, and so he doesn’t notice the change at first. He does his kool-aid man bit to save Martin and Jon, and then when the three of them are in the tunnels is when it starts. Again, the influence has not been as bad as it will get later but—Tim has already… done enough to regret by his own standards. He looks at Martin’s terrified face in the tunnels and goes hey that’s the expression he had when--

and then Tim proceeds to have a meltdown as it hits him. He actually—the pained gasphe makes, Martin thinks the worms just dug into him. His eyes start darting everywhere and he just goes shit shit shit SHIT SHIT, even backing away from Martin when Martin reaches out (which is… quite an unusual gesture after the past few months).

Tim doesn’t realize what’s going on, though, so when all three of them get separated he leaves the tunnels later and the only thing he remembers is that being in there hurt so much.

Jon: Also has a breakdown. His is progressive, though, seeming less severe than Tim's but worsening by the minute. He definitely makes some pained noises and, as per Jon’s noises in canon, sounds a lot more abjectly terrified than Tim. But his reaction is just to cling to Martin and cry that he’s sorry over and over. Martin tries to comfort him while getting progressively worried that something is happening that is about to kill his friends.

When the three of them get separated, Jon actually goes back into the tunnels to find Martin. Elias realizes what he’s done, sighs, and then goes into the tunnels himself to retrieve him.

“Come on,” he says to Jon, who’s curled up against the wall clutching his head as he tries to process the guilt. “You aren’t going to find him like this. We need to get treatment for those wounds of yours, anyway. I ensure we get him out soon.”

“But—”

“Don’t you want the pain to stop, Jon?” Elias asks.

Jon does want the pain to stop. And so, reluctantly, he follows Elias out of the tunnels. He, too, only remembers afterwards that being down there hurts, and that even the thought of going down there makes a deep pressure-panic (from the Eye) push at his brain until he feels like his head is going to burst.

So he doesn’t go back.

Sasha: Breaks down a bit, as the others do. But she also latches onto the idea that her head is clear down here. So she grits her teeth through her panic attacks and takes out her phone, makes some notes, furiously tries to plan a way to maintain clarity, or to ensure she comes back down here--

Elias has to take a different tack to get her out. He goes down, sees that she’s Stubborn about wanting to see things right and clearly, and realizes that “don’t you want the pain to stop” isn’t going to work. So instead, he puts on his most distraught expression.

“Sasha,” he says. “You can feel it—it’s gone isn’t it? Something that was controlling us?”

And then he improvises the role of “Boss Trying To Find A Way To Escape Mind Control With Her.”

“Wait, I—now that I’m down here, I can remember. I’ve been down here before, I figured out--,” he says. “There’s another place we can go that blocks it out. Follow me, I’ll explain--”

He leads her into normal passageways far away from the Institute, and the Eye slowly sets in again.

Sasha, like the others, only remembers that being down there hurts and that she was distraught and felt disoriented. Plus now, poast season 1, she realizes that she suddenly Knows so many things now! So clearly she has more clarity up here, and those awful tunnels just block it out.

Martin: after watching Jon and Tim break down, hearing them talk about the tunnels with Fear afterwards, and hearing Sasha refuse to step into them—assumes that the tunnels torture most people that go down there, and he was just immune for some reason. And so Martin does not try to get his friends into the tunnels again :)))

Elias breathes a sigh of relief, and gets to blocking the entrances to the tunnels from the Institute entirely.

#but of course #the tunnels still exist regardless #so we can wrangle the poleyecule into them later if need be for plot or comedy #martin + tapes

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eldritch-araneae · 5 years ago

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Uhh for the prompts how bout...hat kid having a nightmare and going to snatcher abt it. Cuddles ensue (btw I love your writing and art so much, it makes my heart warm

Hah, this is my fav angst theme of all time, so here you go!)

But I made things slightly different tho ;)

I hope you’ll like it anyway.

Hunger.

It’s all you know, a constant hunger.

Be be more, to become bigger, stronger, so that ice witch would never lay a finger on you. You must kill more. Vengeance. Hunger.

You smell a new victim entering your forest. You move through shadows with grace towards your target. You gaze upon your prey and suddenly your core runs cold. It was her, your kid, standing there.

Your body moves on it’s own, slithering towards little girl, like a hungry snake that ready to swallow its prey. You trying to stop this, but hunger is too much! The kid sees you and smiles, waving to you.

No! Kiddo, run!

You trying to warn her, to shoo her away, but instead of words only hissing escapes your throat.

You dangerously coil around her tiny body, there is no way she can run away now. Terror and guilt fills you, but you still trying to resist, trying to pull away. But the hunger is too much, too much, too much!

You loom over her. She looks at you.

“Papa?” she tilts her head to the side, confused at what you are doing. Run, please run! Any normal person would be terrified at this moment but not her. The kid loves you, she trusts you with her life. It was a mistake, a huge mistake!

You watch in horror are your body open its mouth and ---

Your eyes are wide open!

For few seconds the horrible nightmare faded, revealing that you are not in the forest, but on spaceship.

You’re currently laying in the mound of pillows, which became the usual spot for you to rest. You also noticed a blanket wrapped around you tightly. Right. Even though you don't really need it, it’s still comforting being wrapped in something warm and soft. It makes your rest easier...but not this time.

You sigh heavily, you can't get proper sleep a week now. Night terrors are plaguing your mind. They always about the same thing: about you killing the kid. It doesn't matter how, you always end up killing her and she...she never runs away, she never expects you to attack!

You hate this so much, you still feel terrible about the fact that you tried to kill her in the past. She forgave you, but you can’t forgive yourself. You don’t deserve to be loved, but she thinks you do. You can’t let go, you just cant!

And what makes thing worse that you still can hurt her, by accident! This is what happened a week ago!

You wanted to help her to recover timepieces on unfamiliar planet. There was some corporate asshole, who wanted to use the timepiece for his selfish plans. He was...very much like Vanessa. Obsessive, possessive, entitled, just awful. He thought himself of hero while in reality he was just a garbage!

That made you snap, you lost your cool and, in few minutes, he was no more.

You took a timepiece, pleased with yourself, but then you saw the kid lying on the floor. Your core sank, you rushed to her side. She looked burned, did this asshole somehow got her? When did this happen? Thankfully, you always carry healing pons with you just in case. The kid sighed in relief when she got healed.

“What happened?!” you asked, still being in shock.

“Oh, I...um..” she looked at you apologetically.” When you got angry at this guy, you unleashed so many lasers! I couldn’t run out on them so quickly, I’m sorry!”

Your eyes widened, it was you! Being in rage, you completely forgot that she was in the room with you! You completely forgot that you need to be careful with your magic! You forgot!

Kid suddenly hugged your you. Suddenly you became aware of how much you were shaking!

“It’s okay, it was accident!” she pleaded “I know you didn’t meant it! Please don’t be sad!”

“I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU!” you raised your voice, more than you expected. She flinched, but didn't let go!

“Well...but you’ll be careful next time! Right?”

Yes, after this you became more aware of your surroundings. You made sure that none of your projectiles are in the kids way. But guilt kept eating you away, you wanted to burn yourself to the ground!

And then those nightmares are started, constantly reminded you that you are horrible monster. You may lie to yourself, thinking that you can be happy, that you can live a fulfilling life. But deep down know that you’re just pretending.

You closed your eyes and try again, maybe if you sleep you’ll feel better. But images of nightmare are still fresh in your tired mind.

So you get up, still wrapped in blanket and float to kid’s bed. You stare at her sleeping form, carefully listening to her breathing. You just need to make sure she’s okay.

“Damn it, please, just let me live!” you whispered to yourself. You don’t wanna be afraid anymore, you’re so tired of this!

“Snatcher?” she mumbled, her sleepy eyes are looking at you now.

Crap, how did you manage to wake her up?!

“Sorry, kiddo…”

“Are you okay?” she asked, yawning.”You look so sad…”

“I…” you are not sure if you should tell her. Not because you think it’ll make you look weak, but because you don’t wanna burden her. She is a child, adults are not supposed to pour their emotions over small children. Your kid must focusing on growing up and having fun, not dealing with your trauma and fears!

“Did you had a nightmare?” well, she always been smart!

You slowly nod.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

You shake your head this time. Again, you won't burden her with this. Maybe when she’ll grows up, but not now.

Then you realized something: she’s mirroring you right now. When she has nightmares, you would ask her same questions. You would talk about this as you comfort her, holding her close to your chest.

Then she moves to the side of the bed, patting an empty space next to her. You still no sure, she better be resting right now.

“Kid, you should sleep, I’ll be okay.” you smiled weakly as you got up, trying to move back to pillow mound. But she quickly grabbed your blanket.

“But you always cuddle with me when I have bad dream!” she’s pulling you back towards her.” Why can’t I do the same for you? It’s not fair!”

You turn around to see her pouting at you right now as she keeps pulling the blanket. You can’t help but chuckle a bit, she way too adorable.

And looks like you can’t argue against this, you know she won’t let go now. So, you made yourself smaller to comfortably fit in her bed. Then you lay next to her, wrapping your blanket around both of you. She snuggles into your mane and lets out sigh of relief as you wrap your arms around her.

In few minutes she fell asleep, completely relaxed against you. You lay a bit longer, listening sounds of the spaceship and her breathing. Having her in your arms relaxed your tormented mind, allowing you finally slip into dreamless sleep.

#a hat in time #snatcher #hat kid #angst #my fanfics #abyssal-glory

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girls-scenarios · 5 years ago

Text

This World

Idols: Haseul and Vivi (Loona)

Prompt: Can I ask for a dark LOONA ViSeul scenario where OT12 live in a world which is full of brutal crimes and the girls are the only heroes left who can stop them? Tho powers etc are illegal and everyone who has powers lost their human rights, but the girls still want to save the world, they don't have secret identities anymore and in one day Vivi got badly hurt by their enemy, so she and Haseul decide to get illegally married and OT12 are throwing a big marriage. Kinda based on Watchmen great film:D

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: Okay so I took a few liberties with the prompt so it ended up being pretty angsty. And I (mostly) used their real names. Also there are like? No viseul gifs? And I don’t have the time to make my own right now. But anyway, I hope you all still enjoy!

Warnings: Blood, injury, fighting, mentions of death, major character death, cursing. This gets really dark, I’m warning you.

♡ Tip Jar♡

The air was clogged thick with smoke and fog as Vivi and Haseul entered the neighborhood. What had once been a beautiful place to live was now left desolate and crumbling, bombed until only rubble remained. As they stopped on the road, taking in the situation, Haseul’s heart dropped. She had a feeling this would be another dead-end run. The only buildings still recognizable were the church and one crumbling apartment building, and that wasn’t a good sign. Still, they had a job to do, so she took a deep breath and turned to her girlfriend.

“I’m going to check over here in the church for any survivors, you take the apartment building. Sooyoung, can you hear us?” She touched at her temple, just like the other woman had taught her.

“Loud and clear.” Sooyoung’s voice rang through her head. “I’ll be listening, keep us updated.”

“Will do,” Vivi said aloud, touching her temple as well. “Things aren’t looking good, but we’ll do our best.”

Haseul reached over and squeezed Vivi’s hand, giving her a grim smile. “Good luck.”

“Same to you.”

The church was leaning on it’s side, and as Haseul approached, it teetered slightly, rubble falling from the sides. Swallowing, she took her steps carefully, trying not to disturb the crumbling remains around her. Any wrong step and she could be buried in rubble. It wouldn’t hurt her if she could put up a shield in time, but it would be a pain for Vivi to dig her back out and she didn’t want that.

“Hello? Is anyone here?” She stepped into the building, glancing around, only for her stomach to turn again. No one would be answering her call. Still, she searched, hoping for at least one pulse or one gasp of breath. Hopefully, Vivi was having more luck. Her x-ray vision kept her from having to search closely like everyone else. “Rest peacefully,” Haseul said quietly as she stood from the last body, shaking her head. “I wish I could give you all a proper burial.”

“Any luck? Vivi said hers was bust.” Sooyoung echoed in her head again and she sighed.

“No luck over here, I think-.” She never saw it coming. As she stepped out of the church, a clatter of rubble made her turn, only for her to come face-to-face with four men in black and white masks. The terrorists. Her stomach dropped and she raised her hand, but even as she moved, she knew she was too late. Their guns were already firing, she wouldn’t be able to throw up a shield in time.

Something stepped in front of her, and her eyes widened, her heart stopping as she stumbled forward. “Vivi!” The world went red, and as Haseul’s shield blinked to life, Vivi fell to the ground, body limp. Haseul ran towards her, fear coursing through every vein in her body as she fell to her knees beside her girlfriend and cradled the older woman’s head in her arms, taking in the damage. There was so much blood, too much to even see where the wounds were, and Vivi wasn’t responding. “Vivi!” Haseul screamed it this time, tears beginning to stream down her face a she held her closer, panic setting in. “Please, I can’t lose you too, I can’t live without you.”

“Haseul! What the hell is happening! Are you okay?” It was Sooyoung. Haseul only then realized that she hadn’t taken her hand away from her temple when she first screamed Vivi’s name. Quickly, she lifted her bloodied hand to her temple.

“We were ambushed. Vivi’s down, I-I don’t know if she’s going to make it, I don’t know what to do, I can’t-.”

“I have Yerim on her way to get you right now! Do you have a shield up?”

“Y-yes. Please tell her to hurry, Vivi needs help.” Haseul hadn’t felt this helpless in years, but now, as she sobbed and held Vivi in her arms, she was wrapped in a familiar guilt. A familiar panic. How could this happen again?

Rubble scattered behind her and she jerked her head, only to breathe a sigh of relief when she saw Yerim running towards the two of them, her eyes wide.

“Oh my god,” the younger girl said, voice tight, and Haseul reached up, grabbing her and holding her tight.

“Teleport us back now! I’m holding Vivi, she’ll come too!”

“R-right! Jiwoo is waiting for us!”

Teleportation always made Haseul sick to her stomach, but she hardly even noticed it this time as she clutched Vivi closer and pressed her forehead to hers, willing Vivi to hold on just a little while longer.

Sure enough, Jiwoo was there when they landed back in the hideout, and she immediately ran forward, biting her lip and narrowing her eyes with concentration. Her hands glowed as she brought them to Vivi’s body, and a bead of sweat rolled down her temple.

“This... This is really bad,” she said softly, not looking away as she slowly moved her hands over the wounds, her fingers twitching and moving in a skilled, practiced fashion. “She’s lost a lot of blood. I can heal the wounds but I can’t restore her blood count.”

“Please, you can’t let her die.” Haseul’s voice broke as she spoke and Jiwoo bowed her head, eyes welling up with tears. Haseul was the leader of the group. She was level-headed, experienced, and mature. No one had ever seen her like this, because she’d never let them see her emotional side. But now that it was on display for everyone to see, the situation was heightened. The Haseul that was usually so level-headed, keeping the group’s spirits high, was terrified. And that made everyone else scared too.

“I’ll do everything I can to save her,” Jiwoo said, closing her eyes and channeling all of her healing power to her fingertips. Now was not the time to panic. She had a job to do. “I promise.”

“Mom! Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!” Yeojin’s voice echoed through the house as she ran down the stairs and barreled into the kitchen, face flushed pink with excitement. Haseul laughed, throwing up a quick force-field shield against the ground as the little girl slipped on the tile floor before regaining her balance and running over to her side. She’d already grown so much since Haseul had promised her cousin, Yeojin’s biological mom, that she would raise her as her own.

“What did I tell you about running on the tile with your socks on?”

“You said I’ll get hurt. But Mom! I made something cool with Momma for you!” Yeojin grinned, wide-eyed and innocent with her hands behind her back, and Haseul smiled affectionately, turning down the stove and wiping her hands on her apron as she turned to her adopted daughter.

“And what’s that, Yeojin?”

“Look!” The six-year-old thrust a little decorated frame forward. Inside was a drawing of Haseul in her apron and Vivi with her signature pink glasses, with Yeojin in the middle, wearing her favorite pink dress and holding both their hands. In neat lettering, she’d written “my family” at the top of the drawing, then again in glitter gel on the padded frame. “Do you like it?”

“I love it!” Haseul beamed and took the frame, touching her heart. “Did you do this all by yourself?”

“Yes!” Yeojin turned to see Vivi walked into the room, then looked back up at Haseul sheepishly. “Well, Momma helped a little. But mostly by myself!”

Laughing, Haseul gave the girl a hug, sending a wink to Vivi over her shoulder. “I like it either way. Great job, I’m impressed!” As she stood up, she smiled at her girlfriend. “Great job to you too.”

“I was just a helper,” Vivi said, smiling as she walked over to the pair. “Yeojin did all the hard work.”

“See?”

“I see!” The timer went off and Haseul gently put the frame down on the counter. “Are my hard workers ready for dinner? It’s Yeojin’s favorite!”

“Yay! Spicy rice cake!” Yeojin let out a yell of happiness, making both her mothers laugh.

“Go wash your hands and sit down then, Bean,” Vivi said, and Yeojin pouted.

“I’m not a bean!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Go wash up then, Jinnie.”

“Okay!” Yeojin ran out of the room and Haseul turned to give Vivi a kiss on the cheek. Vivi raised her eyebrows, grinning.

“What was that for?”

“Can I not kiss the woman I love?”

“You’re a sap, Love.” Vivi gave her a quick kiss. “Thanks for making dinner while I played with Yeojin.”

“Anything for the ones I love!”

“Are you in a sappy mood today?”

Haseul shook her head and smiled. “No, I’m just feeling happy and affectionate today. It’s nice to spend time together as a family. All we need now is to get married, you know.”

“Are you proposing to me, Haseul?”

“Maybe. Want to marry me, Kahei?”

“Sure, why not?”

Haseul blinked awake to the sound of a closing door somewhere. Her arms were folded under her head, resting on the bed, and her neck was bent in a weird position that left it cramping as she sat up, groaning at the pain. When had she fallen asleep?

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Jiwoo said, giving Haseul a small smile as she walked over to the bed.

“When did I fall asleep?”

“About an hour ago. I didn’t want to wake you up because you looked like you needed the sleep.”

Haseul looked at Vivi, who was still pale and breathing slowly. She hadn’t moved at all since they cleaned her off and put her in her bed. “Is she doing okay?”

“She’s stabilized and I’m making sure she stays that way. It’s up to her to survive now.” Jiwoo watched as Haseul gently took Vivi’s hand. “What were you dreaming about?”

Jumping a bit, the older girl glanced back at Jiwoo. “Why?”

“You were crying and smiling in your sleep. I was just curious.”

“Oh.” Haseul swallowed and looked back down at Vivi’s limp hand in her own. Her heart hurt more than anything else as the memories came flooding back, leaving a heavy burden on her shoulders. “I was just dreaming of a time before.... The law.”

Hours later, when the room was dark and most of the other women had been sent out to try and keep the terrorist group from striking again, Haseul held Vivi’s limp, cold hand in her own and cried. Everything that she’d bottled up over the course of the year came flooding out as she sobbed, hunched over the bed.

“Kahei,” she whispered, even though no one else was there to hear. It was a name she hadn’t used since that fateful day, but it tumbled out naturally now. Vivi’s real name. “I had a dream about Yeojin again.” At the mention of their daughter, there was a twitch, and Haseul’s heart surged with hope. “Kahei, please. You have to wake up. For me and for Yeojin. I can’t live in this world without you.”

There was no response, and Haseul’s heart fell into her stomach as she rested her head against Vivi’s shoulder. “It’s okay, take your time. I’ll stay here until you wake up.”

“Mom! Mom, Momma, what’s happening?” Yeojin’s voice was high and full of fear as she held tightly to her parent’s hands, shivering between them. All three of them were hidden inside a small closet in the bedroom, listening as the sound of gunfire echoed through the neighborhood and someone slammed against the door. It had only been days since the announcement of the ban on superheros and superpowers came over the TV, shattering their normal life. Vivi had been hopeful that, since they weren’t technically heroes anymore, they’d be left alone. But that was not the case.

“Open up, you hero scum!”

“I’m scared.”

“Shh.” Haseul had long since put up a shield around them in the closet, and now she wrapped her arms around Yeojin tighter. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Haseul,” Vivi whispered, “they’re gathering at the door.” She had taken off her glasses and was now looking through the house, out into the neighborhood. Her eyes glowed pink as she used her powers. “Some of them are our neighbors.”

“Our neighbors? Why?” Haseul shook her head, incredulous. “We’ve never been anything but nice!”

“I don’t know, but they’re there. I think the government has been spreading some sort of anti-hero propaganda. They also announced all the secret identities of known heroes today-.” The door slammed open and Yeojin began to cry. Quickly, Haseul put her hand over the girl’s mouth and strengthened her shield around them.

“Pink Watcher, Miss Shield, we know you’re here!”

Heart pounding, Haseul turned to look at her fiancee. Vivi’s eyes were wide and panicked. Those were their old hero names, from before they’d settled down to raise Yeojin. “What should we do,” Haseul mouthed, and Vivi shook her head, out of ideas. They couldn’t hide forever, and from the sound of it, they wouldn’t be able to talk their way out of this one. They would probably have to fight their way out.

Crashing came from the hallway and the sound of destruction filled the house, adding to the loud yelling that seemed to surround the closet. Haseul knew they only had one choice, even if she didn’t like it. “We’re going to have to run. You hold Yeojin, she’s still small enough to carry on your back. We’ll go to my parent’s farm. We should be safe for at least a little while there.”

“Okay.” Vivi stood up and Haseul followed suit, helping her pick up Yeojin and put her on her back. After Yeojin was secure and holding on tight, her eyes wide and scared, Haseul strengthened her shield one last time and the three burst from the room. Immediately, bullets began to fly, but they bounced off the shield as Haseul led them down the stairs and out the back door. The house had been ransacked and destroyed, all the family photos littering the ground and graffiti on the walls. Haseul was able to look over her shoulder at the lettering on the side of the house as they ran, and her stomach turned.

Die Hero Scum.

This was it. The world had changed, and there would be no going back now. Now, they had to learn how to survive.

“Kahei, do you remember when we were going to get married? Why didn’t we do that?” Haseul brushed Vivi’s hair back from her face and shook her head. “I don’t want you to die yet. I wanted to marry you, and raise a family with you. The law got in the way, but... I still want to marry you. I can’t imagine my life without you. I regret not marrying you sooner. I’m sorry, for everything.”

They saw the smoke before they saw the barn. For weeks they’d traveled, avoiding well-known areas and covering their faces, only to find the farm destroyed. The barn was on fire, billowing smoke up into the sky, and the rest of the place had been ransacked and covered in anti-hero graffiti. Shaking, Haseul made her way into the main house, only for her heart to break immediately, sending her running back outside. Her parents had been surprised in their bed. They never stood a chance.

“Why?” She turned to look at Vivi, tears flowing down her cheeks. Vivi and Yeojin were also crying, Yeojin sobbing into Vivi’s shoulder as she held the little girl tight. “Why would they do this? They weren’t doing anything wrong! They were retired! Why are they chasing us? We’ve never hurt or killed anyone! We worked for the government! We never did anything wrong.”

“The world has gone mad,” Vivi said slowly, pulling Haseul into a hug. For a while, they all stood there, crying and holding each other tight. They were tired, hungry, and now, hopeless. How could they survive in a world like this?

Finally, Haseul took a deep breath and pulled away. “I’ll see if they left any food in the cabinets. If so, we can stay here for the night. I doubt they’ll hit the same place twice.”

“How about you let me check the cabinets,” Vivi said, putting a hand on Haseul’s shoulder. “I know you want to give your parents a proper burial.”

Swallowing, Haseul looked back at the house where her parents lay. A weight settled heavily on her shoulders as she wiped her face, willing herself not to cry again. “Okay. Keep Yeojin close. I won’t be long.”

Haseul chose a spot near the pastures, where she knew her parents liked to sit and watch the sun rise. There, she used her shield as a shovel, melding the force-field into a curved, sharp surface. She had never thought she’d use her powers for something other than fighting or protecting, and yet she had no choice. So she got to work, not wanting to be out past dark.

She was filling in the last of the dirt when she heard it. Gunfire. Her heart stopped as she spun around and ran, melting her shields into armor just as she’d done as a hero. Screams reached her ears and she rounded the house just in time to see five armed men busting through the door, their guns blazing.

“Stop!”

“Yeojin!”

Haseul’s blood ran cold. Then she boiled over and her shields changed into sharp knives for the first time, plunging their way through the bodies of the men as she ran past them inside. Five bodies dropped behind her as she stopped, staring in horror at the sight in front of her. Yeojin was limp and covered in blood, cradled in Vivi’s arms. She was desperately trying to cover the wounds with her hand, screaming for Yeojin to wake up and apologizing to her over and over for not being able to protect her. The world came crashing down as Haseul fell to her knees beside her daughter and checked her pulse.

Nothing. Yeojin was gone. Slumping over, she began to sob, clutching her daughter’s body even though she knew she couldn’t bring her back. Vivi was sobbing now too, loud and heartbroken, like nothing Haseul had ever heard as she leaned against Haseul, her entire body going shuddering with the force of her cries. She’d been shot too, and she was losing blood, but she didn’t even seem to notice as she held Yeojin.

“It should have been me,” she wailed, “She reached out for me but I couldn’t get there in time. I couldn’t do anything!”

Haseul sat back and touched her daughter’s face, gently running her fingers over her soft cheeks and closing the little girl’s eyes despite her blood-covered hands. Seven was too young to die. Too young to see the horrible reality of the world. Her tears landed on Yeojin’s face as she unfastened the girl’s favorite necklace, a silver chain with three charms: a deer, a bird, and a frog. One for each of them. As, she held Yeojin’s tiny body in her arms, she whispered her own apologies into the girl’s ear, hoping that she heard them somehow. Just one more time, she wanted Yeojin to hear her say that she loved her, and that she was sorry.

If only she hadn’t been out in the field. If only she hadn’t left them alone. If only they hadn’t adopted Yeojin. She had just been a normal human. She could have survived if it wasn’t for them. “It’s not your fault,” she said as she wrapped her arm around Vivi, the weight on her shoulders growing heavier as she cried. “I should have never left the two of you unprotected.”

“Haseul?” Jungeun’s voice rang in the quiet room as she stepped inside, her wings tucked tightly down behind her as she gave the older girl a little smile. “Sorry if I startled you. I wanted to come check on you and Vivi.”

Haseul sighed and sat up, her hand still in Vivi’s. It was now the morning of the second day, and she was exhausted. “She’s stable and she’s gotten warmer. But she’s still not waking up. I’m worried.” Worried was an understatement. She was terrified, but she couldn’t admit it. Jungeun pressed her lips together as she walked over to the bed, her wings drooping like they only did when she was upset.

“We’re all really worried. But we’re worried about you too. Have you gotten any sleep?”

“A little.”

Jungeun didn’t seem to believe her. “Really? You look exhausted.”

“I’ve been having nightmares,” Haseul said truthfully, looking back down at Vivi. “It’s hard to sleep.”

“I see.”

The door opened, and Haseul looked up to see Heejin and Hyunjin walk in. Immediately, they came over to the bed and Heejin wrapped her in a tight hug as Hyunjin took Vivi’s other hand. It was relieving, if only a little, to see the girls Haseul had started this whole journey with. They’d found Haseul and Vivi after their tragedy, bloody and broken, and had taken them into their little group, becoming their new family. It was because of them that they’d started living again, devoting their life to saving the lives of others. Only Heejin and Hyunjin knew the truth about Haseul and Vivi’s background, so they would understand how devastated Haseul felt.

“I’m so sorry we’re only just now getting here,” Heejin said, still holding her tight. She seemed on the verge of crying, but she was holding it in. “We were out on an assignment with Hyejoo and Jinsoul when everything happened, and they immediately sent us with Chaewon to go find the terrorists. We only just got back.”

“Did you get them?” Haseul knew her voice was more weak and hoarse than usual, and Hyunjin sent her a worried glance when she heard it, but neither of them commented on it.

“We got them. They wont be hurting anyone else. At least, not that faction,” Hyunjin said, her eyes darkening. “It feels like there’s more of those assholes every day.”

“It’s because the world’s gone to hell,” Jungeun commented, shaking her head. “We’re doing all we can.”

“Is there anything you need from us, Haseul?” Heejin asked, concern laced in her voice. “Anything at all? We’re worried about you, really. You need to get some rest. We can get Jiwoo to take care of the nightmares for you.”

Haseul shook her head, tightening her grip on Vivi’s hand. “No. I can’t leave until she wakes up.”

The three women exchanged glances, but Haseul ignored them, focused on Vivi. Had she just moved?

“Okay, then,” Hyunjin said slowly, patting Vivi’s shoulder gently before backing away. “We’ll leave you alone. But please take care of yourself, Haseul. Everything is going to be okay.”

She didn’t really believe that, but Haseul nodded anyway.

“And stay strong,” Heejin added, giving Haseul one last hug before she joined the other girls at the end of the bed. “We’re rooting for you, Vivi. And we love you. Both.”

Haseul smiled a bit at this. “Thank you. I appreciate your support.”

“Of course.”

When the door shut behind them, Haseul slowly pulled the silver chain necklace out from under her shirt and rubbed her thumb over the bird charm. Half of the frog charm gleamed in the rising sun, and she reached up to pull Vivi’s necklace from under her shirt, revealing the other half of the frog and the deer.

“This way, Yeojin will always be with both of us,” Vivi had said as she cut the charm in half. Since then, neither of them had taken off the charms, despite the fact that they’d rusted and faded slightly over time. It was hard to take good care of something when you were constantly on the run, but they tried their best.

The charms were all they had left of their daughter.

“When you wake up,” Haseul said quietly, leaning in to kiss Vivi’s forehead. She felt warmer, and that was a good sign. She just had to hope. “Let’s get married. Just like we said we would.”

When they’d first joined Hyunjin and Heejin on the road, Vivi and Haseul had both been aloof, scared to get close or trust anyone. But slowly, as the other women began to join, they started to open themselves up again. They weren’t the only ones with tragedy in the background.

Heejin had been living her life as a successful vet, using her powers to speak to the animals and figure out their illnesses or issues. She’d never even been a hero, yet when the government propaganda started, the town and her own family had turned against her and she’d only escaped because Hyunjin showed up and saved her just in time. Hyunjin had been on the run herself, but when she saw Heejin cowering beside her overturned car with three people looming over her, she’d decided to help. Her poison claws had left them paralyzed, and ever since then, Hyunjin and Heejin had been on the run together.

Jiwoo had been a nurse who saved lives, only to have hers threatened. Sooyoung only survived because she could manipulate her townspeople in their minds long enough to get away, but her sister wasn’t so lucky. Jungeun never had a chance to hide her wings, making her an outcast since birth. Jinsoul had been forced to hide in a lake for days on end to escape, only surviving because she could make an air bubble around her head. Chaewon and Hyejoo had been current heroes, only to be accused of espionage by the government and forced to go into hiding. They were lucky they even got out, as other official heroes were turning up dead every day. Yerim, the last to join the group, had lost her entire family after being outed as a hero.

Everyone had scars and pain in their past, and when Haseul saw that, she couldn’t push them away. Instead, she became their leader, forcing herself to push her own grief aside so that she could take care of the group. Her decision added more weight to her shoulders, but she dealt with it, because she didn’t want any of the others to have to do it. She didn’t want anyone else to have to suffer.

On the morning of the third day, Vivi finally woke up. As soon as she shifted in the bed, letting out a small groan, Haseul jumped to her feet, leaning over the bed with wide, hopeful eyes. She watched with bated breath as the older woman blinked and moved, stretching out her legs and letting out a little whine before her eyes opened all the way. Relief washed over Haseul’s shoulders as she let out the breath she’d been holding and began to cry, wrapping her arms around Vivi’s shoulders.

“Your awake! Oh my god, you’re awake. I was so scared, you have no idea how scared I was.”

Slowly, Vivi reached up, hugging Haseul in return with weak limbs. “What happened?” Her voice was hoarse and Haseul moved away, touching her face gently. She could hardly believe this was happening.

“You were hurt really bad. Jiwoo was able to heal you but you’d lost a lot of blood. You’ve been out for three days.”

“Three?” Vivi blinked as she took Haseul’s hand. “Oh, that’s right. We were ambushed.” She swallowed, shivering slightly, and it suddenly struck home just how weak she looked. “I’m cold, Haseul.”

Immediately, Haseul jumped up, her heart pounding. She knew she probably looked a little crazy with the dark circles under her eyes and her hair and clothes mussed and askew, but she didn’t care. “Let me get some more blankets and grab Jiwoo. I can also get you some water and food. Would you like that?” At Vivi’s nod, she turned and jogged out of the room, running into the kitchen. There, the rest of the girls were eating breakfast, and they all turned to look at her with wide eyes when she burst into the room. “Vivi’s awake!”

“Vivi’s awake?”

“Oh, thank goodness, I was so scared!”

“That’s great!”

Jiwoo stood up, rolling up her sleeves. “I’ll go make sure she’s doing okay and that her vitals are stable. Sooyoung, can you come help me?”

“And she’s cold,” Haseul blurted, and Heejin jumped from her seat.

“I’ll grab blankets!”

“Let me get her some food, I bet she’s hungry.”

“Oh, and water! I bet she needs water!”

Haseul watched as the girls jumped up, all ready to help and all just as relieved as she was that Vivi was alive. Then, once again, tears began to roll down her face as she realized that she and Vivi were no longer alone in the world. They had a new family and wonderful friends who loved them and supported them. As she cried, tears a mix of relief and sadness, Hyunjin pulled her into a tight hug.

“Everything is going to be okay,” she said, and this tie, Haseul believed her.

Even with the help of Jiwoo’s healing powers, recovery was a long process. Some damage could not be undone, and Vivi was still very weak. She slept long hours and needed help doing even the smallest of things. But she was alive, and Haseul was happy to stay by her side through the process, there for whatever Vivi or Jiwoo needed from her.

One night, as they got into bed, Vivi turned to her with a serious face. “Haseul, there’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up to you.”

Blinking, Haseul sat up and propped herself up on her elbow. “What’s that?”

“When I was... asleep. For those three days. I had dreams, where I heard you talking to me. Were you really talking to me?”

“I did talk to you. Quite a lot, actually.”

Biting her lip, Vivi picked at her blanket. “So, um. Did you happen to tell me that you were going to marry me when I woke up?”

As she remembered everything she’d said, Haseul’s face flushed. “I-I did.”

“Did you mean it?”

Her heart skipped a beat as Vivi looked at her, dark eyes earnest. This was the first time they’d talked about marriage in over a year. For so long, they’d been scared. Scared of the future, scared to love, and scared to go forward. They’d been attached to the past, the perfect life that they had before all this happened. Talking about marriage had felt... wrong, without Yeojin there. But now, Haseul swallowed and squared her shoulders, reaching over to take her girlfriend’s hand. She was finally ready to move forward.

“I did. I meant every word I said. When I thought I might lose you.... I was so scared, but I also regretted never marrying you. All I want is to be with you for the rest of my life. I want you to be my wife, because I love you and I believe in us. No matter what the future has in store, I’m ready to face it as long as I’m with you. I’m ready to face this world if you’re beside me. I don’t have a ring or anything to make this official, but will you marry me, Kahei?”

A smile spread over Vivi’s face and she threw her arms around Haseul, knocking her back against the bed. “Yes, I’ll marry you!” As she pulled away, tears glistened in her eyes. “You know, as my life flashed before my eyes, when I almost died.... My main regret was not marrying you. We should have gotten married so long ago.” The silver chain fell out from her shirt and she smiled, affectionately touching her half of the frog chain. “I used to think that it would be... disrespectful if we got married after everything. To Yeojin, I mean. I used to think that I didn’t deserve to be happy anymore, because Yeojin didn’t get to live a full life because of me. But now that I’ve had time to think about it.... I think this is what she would have wanted. She was such a sweet girl, she would never have wanted us to be unhappy. I don’t know if I can go back to being Kahei. I’ve gotten so used to being Vivi. But I think I can finally move on.” The tears spilled over as she spoke, and Haseul pulled her back into a hug, holding her tight.

As they cried, holding each other, Haseul felt a small hand touch her face. It was brief and when she opened her eyes, nothing as there. But she’d felt it, and as Vivi locked eyes with her, she knew that she’d felt it too.

“Was that...?”

There was no real explanation for it. But Haseul felt herself smile as a weight lifted off her shoulders. “I think Yeojin just gave us her permission to be happy again.”

When Haseul had first imagined her wedding, she’d had a lot of dreams. She’d wanted a beautiful venue, expensive decorations, and a huge party. She’d never imagined that she would end up getting married in the back of a hideout, with makeshift decorations made out of rubble and whatever flowers the girls would find. She’d never imagined that she’d have to hand-sew her dress and scrounge for the wedding food.

But when she stood at the end of the makeshift aisle in her plain white dress, freshly healed flowers wrapped in plastic in her hand with the women that had become her new family grinning happily at her, she realized that she didn’t care if it wasn’t the wedding of her dreams. She was happy anyway.

Jungeun stood at the end of the aisle, dressed in a suit that was too big for her with her wings perked up and unfurled, and as Haseul approached her, she gave her a huge smile. “You look great.”

“Thanks, so do you.”

Heejin strummed her guitar and Hyunjin beside her started to sing a traditional wedding song, and Vivi stepped out from behind the white sheet Jiwoo and Sooyoung had hung up the day before. Haseul’s breath escaped her as she watched Vivi smile and move to the aisle, tucking her hair behind her ear. She was wearing a long lace veil, and her dress was longer than Haseul’s, touching the ground as she walked. Somehow, Chaewon had gotten her hands on some pearls and gems, apparently, because the white dress glittered and shined even without any light to reflect. She was beautiful, and Haseul was the most lucky woman in the world.

As Vivi moved into position in front of her, Haseul grinned, her heart pounding. “Wow,” she said, because she couldn’t get anything else out, and Vivi giggled, taking both of Haseul’s hands after handing off their flowers to Jiwoo.

“Wow to you too.”

Jungeun cleared her throat, interrupting them. “Friends, family. We are gathered here together today to celebrate the wedding of our dear Vivi and Haseul.” Her voice wavered a little bit as she tried to remember the rest of her speech. “Um, we before god....”

“You know, you can just skip that part,” Hyunjin hissed, making everyone laugh. Blushing, Jungeun shrugged.

“Okay. Our brides have prepared their own vows. Haseul, would you like to start?”

Taking a deep breath, Haseul nodded. “Yes. Vivi, we’ve been through a lot together. This year marks the tenth year since we shared our first kiss together. Back then, we were young heroes without a care in the world. A lot has happened since then, both good and bad, but because of you, I’ve continued to live and look towards the future. As long as I have you, I have hope. Vivi, I promise to always take care of you and stay by your side. I promise to always have your back. I promise to always look out for you. I promise to love you in sickness and in health. No matter what happens to us, I promise that I will always be your loyal wife, and that nothing will ever tear us apart. I love you. Always.”

Smiling, Vivi squeezed her hands. “Haseul, you said most of the things I wanted to say already, so you kind of stole my speech.” She giggled as everyone laughed before continuing. “But I want you to know that I love you. Even after everything we’ve had to go through, I love you with my entire being. I’ve never lost my faith in you, and even if you think you did, you’ve never let me down. I’ve always been able to depend on you, ever since our hero days. I want you to know that you can depend on me too. I promise that I’ll always take care of you, and that I’ll always stay by your side. I promise that I’ll love you despite everything that comes our way. I promise to continue living by your side. And I promise to stay your loyal, loving wife until I draw my last breath. I love you, Haseul. And I always will.”

Tears pricked at the back of Haseul’s eyes, but she pushed them away. She’d already cried enough tears.

“Haseul, do you take Vivi to be your kinda lawfully wedded wife, for now and forever?”

“I do.”

“And Vivi, do you take Haseul to be your kinda lawfully wedded wife, for now and forever?”

“I do!”

“Great!” Jungeun clapped her hands. “By the power that was bestowed on me by the online class I took two days ago, I now pronounce you wife and wife! You both may now kiss the bride!”

Haseul didn’t have to be told twice. She cupped Vivi’s head in her hands and leaned in, kissing her passionately as Vivi pulled her in closer with her arms wrapped around her shoulders. All around them, the girls began to cheer and Heejin strummed her guitar loudly as Chaewon turned the light into glitter, making it fall down gently around them as they kissed. As Haseul pulled away, she laughed, her heart truly full and happy for the first time in what felt like forever.

“I love you,” she said, and then she turned to the others. The girls, the women, her family. “I love you all too,�� she said, and she meant it.

“We love you both! Congratulations!”

“Kiss again, I didn’t get a good photo!”

“Chaewon, I’m gonna kill you, I have glitter in my mouth!”

“Who’s problem is that, Hyunjin? Not mine!”

“Throw the bouquets, let’s see who gets married next!”

“Hey, Jinsoul we aren’t ready for that yet!”

The room exploded into lively, loud conversation, and Vivi moved closer, taking Haseul’s hand into her own and leaning her head on her shoulder. “I’m so glad we made it this far,” she said quietly, a smile on her lips. “I have hope for this world again.”

With light shoulders and bright eyes, Haseul looked up at the light coming in from the window. Perhaps it was her imagination, but there she saw the shadows of her past all smiling down at her, mixed in with the whispers of the future. And she smiled.

“So do I.”

#femifics #loona #viseul #loona fanfiction #loona fanfic #viseul fanfic #viseul fanfiction #vivi #haseul #girl group fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #girl groups #kpop girl groups

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ellagracehargreeves · 5 years ago

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“The Spark” Music Playlist.

Here’s the Playlist on Youtube! The songs are also individually linked below!

I don’t have spotify or any of the other music things because I don’t listen to much music and I am BROKE!

(PLEASE GOD DON’T MAKE FUN OF MY VIDEOS IF YOU LOOK, I WAS A SMOL DUMBASS CHILD I SWEAR I’M LESS CRINGY NOW OK, I PROMISE.)

Love y’all. And I love these songs, Here’s why:

Lean on me - Bill Withers : Ella’s lullaby. Vanya started singing it to her around the age of 1 when she heard it on the radio at the 7/11 while she was trying to calm a fussy Ella. She began singing along with the song as a last ditch attempt, and it surprisingly worked like a charm. Ever since then, Cara and Vanya, mostly Vanya, sing it to Ella sometimes at bedtime, substituting the words with “Mother” and “daughter” when needed. It always calms Ella down.

Hazy Shade of Winter - Gerard Way (feat. Ray Toro) : …. Duh. Plus this gets me hype for Ella being powerful and happily violent and just being a part of the Hargreeves clusterfuck. ….This just slaps.

Cold Blooded - Khalid (slowed) : So this doesn’t fit entirely, but basically to me this feels like what Vanya feels when she’s empty, sad, and just blank, but then she sees her daughter being happy. It doesn’t erase the deep sadness within her, but it strengthens the resolve that she has. She will give everything she has for her daughter, just to make sure she’s warm and happy. Also this song makes me think of Ella forcibly cuddling Vanya on the couch when she is having a bad day.

(Slowed Down) Elastic Heart - Sia : Just…. V a n y a.

Dancing with your Ghost- Sasha Sloan : This song makes me think of Vanya and Ella and Cara, being happy and dancing together and making memories, but at the same time Vanya struggles with her guilt involving her siblings. She can see them sometimes within her girl, she can see them as she makes the memories. She feels like she doesn’t deserve to be happy, because she never has. She struggles with that feeling when she feels so happy her heart could burst. This song also makes me think of the relationship between Cara and Vanya, it just makes me think of Vanya trying not to cry over something but then Cara pulls her head down to her lap and runs her fingers gently through her hair and Vanya can finally let it out and it’s peaceful and happy.

(Slowed down) I found - Amber Run : Vanya…… If the commission wins.

(Her mouth is open in a silent scream as she cradles the small body towards her, this can’t be happening, no no no nonononono not her baby-

Why aren’t they helping her- Please, she’s hurt, can’t you see-?- She can’t tell the difference between her tears and those of the heavens, between the tears on her face and the blood on her hands-)

(She is no longer herself, she is a steadily growing drum-beat of pure pain and grief and power and she is not thinking but the very earth shall pay for the blood that has spilled, HER FLESH AND BLOOD-)

Somebody That I Used To Know (slowed down) - Gotye (ft. Kimbra) : The Hargreeves siblings and Vanya, after her betrayal is revealed. They feel like they should’ve been told about Ella, even if they weren’t close to Vanya at all, which is valid. But Vanya remembers them as being cold and shitty to her and tbh she’s only telling them for Ella’s sake. Plus this song is just melodramatic and I feel like it would fit the Hargreeves in any situation. Like, I can see Klaus or Diego stubbing their toe and then having this song playing in their head. They’re all extra as hell and this song works for any betrayal.

( slowed down ) lovely - Billie Eilish (ft. Khalid) : This is honestly one of my favorite songs, especially slowed down. I just listen to it while writing because it’s beautiful. But it also kinda reminds me of Vanya and her glass wall, constantly struggling with the feeling of being trapped and being stuck within her childhood abuse. She fights against it for Ella, her beautiful Ella, who gives her hope no matter how trapped she feels. This song is just a sad bop tho. Good shit.

Night Bus (Slowed) - Gabrielle Aplin : A happier sounding bop, but still slow and chill. I know it’s about lovers, but we ain't gonna take it that way okay.

“I’m on my way home to you for the last time” obviously doesn’t fit, because Vanya wouldn’t leave her daughter alone, ever, but this song kinda makes me think of Vanya gradually letting Ella go and letting her be her own person. Like, she’s still her mom, and this song also makes me think of the love between them. It makes me imagine Vanya watching Ella play in the park, or maybe watching her interact with the other girls at Gym, and thinking to herself “She’s got this. She’ll be okay. I don’t have to stay so close, she’ll still come back to me in the end even if I let her go.”

Also, this song is calming but happy, instead of most of these which are calming and sad. I needed a happier song, one that made me think of hugs and playing outside and having snowball fights and happy squeals and playing tag with wide involuntary smiles and flushed cheeks. In short: ‘Tis a bop. A happy bop. Happy times.

revenge (slowed & reverb) - xxxTentacion : Makes me think of Vanya, disillusioned, believing that her siblings have known about her powers this entire time. Makes me think about her thirst for revenge, to make them feel the soul-deep infraction against her. Makes me think of Vanya being torn between keeping her daughter safe, keeping her terrified daughter comforted, and her revenge. Torn between holding the one she loves most and punishing those who were supposed to love her. It makes me think of agonizing indecision.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I don’t know if this scenario will happen in the fic! I’m not sure how things will go down, and how Vanya will find out and react to her powers. I’m making this shit up as I go! But this song made me think, “What if?”

Dollar For Your Sadness - Unlike Pluto : (They hurt her daughter, her world, her Ella, She will DESTROY them, ALL OF THEM-)

JOLT - Unlike Pluto : The lyrics perfectly describe Vanya’s eternally growing resentment, her struggle of trying to forget her childhood, her trauma, her siblings, while raising her daughter. Trying to leave the past behind so she can move on with her Ella and Cara, her real family. They’re all she has now. Aren’t they?

(Also, Jolt. Electricity. Sparks. Heh heh heh. I’m so clever.)

Villain of My Own Story - Unlike Pluto : I’m unsure of this one, not sure if it fits. Vanya getting fed up with her siblings’ muttered remarks and snide comments? (*unconvincing cough* Diego and possibly Luther) Her just going “yknow what fuck all y’all you can suck a cattapilla dick” and being angery and pissed off? Tbh I just put this song in here because I discovered Unlike Pluto yesterday and went feral.

Maybe Vanya during the explanation, or her when she snapped at Diego? (The first time) or maybe it’s just her feeling so put down and invalidated and such a failure that she just goes “fuck this.” Vanya when Ella got bullied? It makes me think of the moments where she’s ticked off and her powers show up but just barely bc she eventually calms herself.

It makes me envision a young girl, possibly Vanya, idk, in tattered, dirty clothes, running down an alleyway in slow motion, and all I can see is the back of her hair flowing in the wind as she runs, the bottoms of her feet as she takes another step. I can see her checking behind her to see if she’s being followed, her hair whipping on her face so she can hardly see. It makes me think of frustrated anger, just an overall feeling of “FUCK THIS SHIT.”

Whatever. I listen to it when I write. It’s in the playlist.

Stay and Decay - Unlike Pluto : (Cartoon masks and gunshots. Flashing lights, ears covered tight, eyes squeezed shut, tears staining her cheeks, fear-)

(Mommy? Mommy! Mommy, no, nonono-)

(There’s dark blood staining her small, small hands- they hurt Mommy, they hurt her, she’ll hurt them- Mommy’s blood dripping- spilling, flowing- onto the wood floor and why won’t it stop-)

(-MommyMommyMommy- Please Mommy, I’m scared-!)

(She’s running after them, her feet hitting the ground, her mother’s blood splattering behind her, Mommy yelling garbled, broken protests- ringing ears, pounding heart, eyes sparking green, r a g e- )

(-she’ll get them, she’ll hurt them, she has to, THEY HURT HER MOTHER-)

Rocky Mountain High - John Denver : :) this is Cara’s favorite song, and my mother likes it as well :) Cara hums it a lot, and sometimes she sings it to Ella. Vanya’s not approving of it, because the song is about WEED, but she doesn’t do anything to stop it. Cara finds the hidden meaning hilarious when she sings it to the child.

everything i wanted (slowed + reverb) - Billie Eilish : Vanya has everything she needs, but she’s still drowning inside herself. Vanya has everything, yet she still feels so so dead. But Cara holds her, smelling like forest leaves, and Ella smiles at her, looking like beautiful starlight, and they make it better. They will always make it better, and she loves them.

The Phoenix - Lindsey Sterling : Ella. Ella, dancing in the air. Ella, hugging her mother tightly. Ella, sweet, gentle Ella- bright as the sun itself, Ella, powerful Ella. Ella, her happy light infecting everyone she meets, Ella, her excitement emerging in response to every new thing she encounters. Beautiful, beautiful, chaotic Ella- adjusting reality with a twitch of her finger. Ella, summoning a tornado full of destructive everyday things with a single tantrum. Ethereal Ella, dancing and laughing and smiling and hugging and throwing and yanking and crushing and destroying Ella. Just… Ella. Loving, Obliterating Ella.

That’s all I have for now! I gotta admit, writing all that out kind of drained me. I might reblog this with additions as I add them, if you guys want! Thanks for checking out this glance inside my process.

#music #writing music #writing #writing post #The Spark #The Umbrella Academy #Umbrella Academy #the umbrella academy fanfiction #vanya hargreeves #vanya hargreeves fanfiction #original character #original child character #ella hargreeves #ella grace hargreeves #playlist #fanfiction #fanfiction playlist

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splintcrs · 6 years ago

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tom holland + cismale + he/him + sound manipulation.┊ ❛ ━ hey, is it just me or do you hear bambi by hippo campus playing in the distance ? oh, that’s just noah gray, a twenty year old part time student/unemployed. according to my sources, i heard he can be neutral good and is compassionate, but also unforthcoming. that’s probably why they remind everyone of scraped knees, broken eye contact & sterile rooms so much ! anyway, whether or not they’re in favor of the supers, crystalline city is keeping a close eye on them !

HELLO! my name is ash (she/her, 20, est) and i can’t even begin to express how hyped i’ve been for this !!! i’d like to introduce you all to my child noah who really needs a hug and maybe some hot chocolate. if you’d like to plot feel free to hit me up over ims or @ my discord ( coat pocket#7381 ). i gotta go to a play rehearsal (stage crew!) soon sadly but feel free to give me all the plots and i’ll be on later !! ( and i may sneak on mobile a bit don’t tell anyone )

// tw kidnapping and captivity

background:

noah was a bubbly kid, the kind who seemed to always have a smile on his face. the kind who would always befriend the new student on the playground. that kid.

he and his older brother grew up with a single mother struggling to make ends meet after their father bounced mere weeks after his birth. yet, despite their tight financial situation, they had a p good childhood. never went to bed hungry, never felt unloved.

not the most athletic and always a bit too clever for his own good, he was the perfect target for bullies. but he could TAKE it, really.

one day a particularly annoying kid was trying to get a rise out of noah on the bus. nothing out the ordinary. except, after he opened his mouth to voice a comeback, the bus swerved. suddenly everyone’s hands were on their ears. well, everyone except noah.

A SONIC ATTACK, they said. but noah knew the truth. he had done it. for the next several days, he kept his mouth shut in fear that it could happen again. although the chance to tell anyone, including his family, would never come.

several days later, he awoke in a van, a gag in mouth. a facility looking to weaponize people with abilities had kidnapped him as he slept, gaining word of him after the event on the bus.

the next few years of his life were hell. days spent in cells, nights spent being poked and prodded. they were trying to make the world better, the scientists said. bullshit. suddenly his voice was no longer his own, used as a weapon for the highest bidder.

apparently it wasn’t just his voice he could manipulate. a simple snap of the finger done right could cause a target ( or targets ) to pass out in pain instantly. but nothing was quite as effective as his voice. the right pitch could burst organs, inflicting permanent (and if requested, lethal) damage. after threatening the lives of his family, he was willing to do anything for his captors.

three years after being captured, the facility that held him was raided by the league. he was free. while the majority of his fellow captives immediately returned to their families, noah couldn’t…wouldn’t go back. the mere idea of his mom and brother seeing him, the shell of the noah they knew, made him sick.

the league offered to let him stay at their hq after realizing that the young super had nowhere to go. he couldn’t say yes fast enough.

a couple weeks have passed, and noah remains in the league’s headquarters. at the suggestion of his therapist, he has enrolled in a few classes at the local college. they give his life a sense of normalcy that wasn’t there before. when not in class, he spends time watching a lot of tv and occasionally exploring the city with his newfound freedom.

some plots that would be fun include (but not limited to):

heroes that were involved in saving him from the facility that held him captive. somebody who continues to check in on him sometimes? a hero that helped with the rescue but really hasn’t interacted with him since? possibilities!

ppl he knows around the league hq! while he may spend a lot of time in his room, he still ventures out...occasionally

so he was forced to do a lot of not so good things when in the facility’s grasps. it is very likely he interacted with a multitude of villains? whether or not the villains actually knew noah didn’t have a choice in what he was doing probably could vary. it would be really interesting to play out him running into one of them,

ppl noah knew from before he went missing. childhood friends, classmates, etc. really anyone he knew from age 17 and before !!

other college students? he’s been attending some classes at the local college,, maybe they have classes together? met on campus randomly?? group project?

really i’m down for all the plots ! i’d love to hear any ideas you all have :D

personality:

noah is fairly quiet and reserved nowadays.for obvious reasons.

he is soooo kind tho!! like actually if you asked him for the sandwich he was in the middle of eating he’d probably apologize for it not being good enough before handing it over :(

low self esteem,, lots of guilt over the things he did while under the control of the facility and him not contacting his family upon gaining freedom

high key scared of hurting others and even more terrified of forming connections. buuut also really wants to form connections ??

A Good

sooo if you’d like to plot hmu or like this message and i can msg you ! i can’t wait to write with you all aaaah

#gloryhqs.intro #tw kidnapping #tw experimentation #tw captivity #tw violence #i dont know what this is but lets plot :D

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snapedefender · 7 years ago

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just a question, what's up with people (you included) criticising remus for being a bystander when his friends harassed snape & then making excuses for snape doing the exact same thing?? in fact i'd argue snape's was worse bc he showed no remorse, no regret, nothing. when his friends harass mary he doesn't even deny it, he just calls it "a bit of fun". remus at least had the grace to feel bad. so we can nix that speculation that snape didn't properly know about it bc he clearly was aware...

why is snape "just trying to fit in" but remus "just doesn't want to get involved" (disclaimer ik u didn't write that post) ... remus was virtually friendless until hogwarts due to his condition and after the marauders befriended him, was terrified of doing anything to make them stop being friends with him. that sounds like trying to fit in to me. not to say i believe bystanding is okay but it seems like a double-standard when snape is justified but remus isn't. could you clarify?

personally idc if people like whatever character but i just cannot stand seeing those dumbass posts (not talking about you) where they try to shit on lily for not standing by snape. as if it was her responsibility to ~fix him~ while in the process of fearing for her life and the lives of muggleborn friends and family at the hands of the same terrorist group snape's friends were emulating, and snape himself was slowly but surely affirming his allegiance with neither remus' or snape's bystanding was okay BUT I can't completely blame remus for not stepping in tbh. after firmly aligning himself with that sort of crowd, surely he knew someone like remus would not be on his side. would snape have even accepted his help? before the whomping willow incident when he was suspicious of remus being a werewolf (and it's clear that he is, at best, disdainful of lycanthropes), who's to say snape wouldn't have responded exactly like how he did with lily in SWM?

okay, this is going to get long.

first, there are a couple of reasons i can be okay with snape’s potential bystanding and not be okay with remus’ bystanding.

1) snape is not a prefect. my biggest problem (and my most vocal dislike) of remus’ actions during SWM is that he is a prefect at the time - he’s not just another student. he was handed the responsibility to watch over and speak up for his fellow students and he should do that regardless of whether or not the people are his friends or not and regardless of whether they’d welcome his help or not. that’s the responsibility he signed up for. snape is not a prefect and doesn’t have the same responsibility, so i hold him less accountable regardless - if snape were a prefect as well or head boy, i would be much more upset about him letting those kinds of things slide, bc it’s actually his responsibility to try to stop them, not just a moral obligation.

2) we actually don’t know that snape was THERE during the mary attack. the ONLY thing we know is that he knows it happens. the scene:

“D’you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?”Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face.“That was nothing,” said Snape. “It was a laugh, that’s all—”“It was Dark Magic, and if you think that’s funny—”

not great, i’ll agree with you there. i’m not HAPPY about snape’s response per se, but i don’t share your absolute faith that snape was active at the scene and that he stood by and watched it happen. he may have heard about it, as lily did; we don’t know for sure. all we know for sure is that he’s aware of the details, not that he was actually present to DO any bystanding. which is another reason i find it easier to forgive snape than to forgive remus - i actually can witness remus standing by and doing nothing, but i don’t actually see snape do it... only the possibility that he MIGHT have done it, ya feel?

3) i don’t think remus is sorry about it. that’s probably my biggest crux right there. i think he feels more guilty about it than, say, sirius who clearly feels zero guilt about it at all. but when he’s confronted about his actions by harry, remus tries to explain it away, tries to victim-blame, tries to say boys-will-be-boys, but never actually says anything about feeling sorry about his behavior toward snape. and you’re right that we never see snape express remorse for mary (tho i would like to put forward that it might be because he wasn’t actually involved in her bullying, since we don’t know for sure) but we DO see snape express remorse for a lot of his other ugly actions, including his nasty words to lily and his decision to join the death eaters. so it’s hard for me to forgive a character who doesn’t particularly express remorse for something but it’s easy for me to forgive one that does.

second, as far as lily goes, i agree that she has the right to sever ties with snape, but i do wonder that she assumes something of him that we don’t necessarily see in the text. it would have been helpful on rowling’s part to give us more than a few vague clues about snape’s allegiances at the time of their falling out - was he actually contemplating joining the death eaters when lily accused him of it? we don’t really know how “set” he was in his allegiances at that time.

third, as far as snape accepting remus’ help, that doesn’t matter. remus has a duty to offer it regardless of it’s accepted or not. i mean, i would argue that any human being has that duty, but as i said above - remus is a prefect, in a position of power. just as lily stepped in, remus should have stepped in, regardless of his personal feelings toward snape or the likelihood of snape accepting his help. i’m not saying it’s not understandable that remus would be hesitant or that i don’t get his reasoning. but it’s still a failure on remus’ part (just as calling lily a mudblood was a failure on snape’s even if we can understand his reasoning) and one that actively hurt another person.

finally, i think my biggest problem is that many people will try to pretend that remus was the “nice one” or that he did less to bully snape and deserves less of snape’s hatred for that or try to make snape’s dislike of remus petty. but the way i see it, remus stood by and watched even when he was under an obligation to step in - and snape has every right to hate him for that as much as he hates james or sirius.

#snape and remus #my meta #hope that clarifies?#i DO understand why remus is standing by but i also think what he did was wrong #and i find it hard to forgive a character who shows little remorse for their wrong actions #Anonymous

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starliightxo · 4 years ago

Text

✨ Holly Discography & OOC Meanings ✨

Storytelling = songs not written about her life but a story she made up

Red

1. State Of Grace ~ for Haley

2. Red ~ (Storytelling) Comparing love and emotions to colours

3. Treacherous ~ Park

4. I Knew You Were Trouble ~ Park

5. All Too Well ~ Adrian

6. 22 ~ Just a feel good, having fun song

7. I Almost Do ~ Adrian

8. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together ~ (Storytelling) just a catchy get stuck in your head song, are specifically to be a single to get attention

9. Stay Stay Stay ~ Adrian

10. The Last Time ~ (storytelling) but in a way it's about her parents and begging them to put her first when it comes to them taking Haley. Because they never considered her in all their choices and it broke her.

11. Holy Ground ~ Adrian

12. Sad Beautiful Tragic ~ Adrian

13. The Lucky One ~ Herself discovering that starting to be known and fame isn't exactly what people expect

14. Everything Has Changed ~ (storytelling)

15. Starlight (co-written with Soraya) ~ for Soraya

16. Begin Again ~ meeting Adrian again after the 4 year gap

17. The Moment I Knew ~ a birthday she spent just after she had Haley and longing for Adrian to come back even though she knew her parents wouldn't have even let him through the door even if he had. But it's not nearly as bitter @ him as the song suggests

18. Come Back... Be Here ~ Adrian

19. Girl At Home ~ (storytelling) girls supporting girls

Fifteen (EP)

(the EP based off the songs she wrote in school/post losing adrian)

1. Love Story ~ Adrian

2. Fearless ~ Adrian

3. Fifteen ~ Herself and kind of a message to Haley to put her dreams first

4. You Belong With Me ~ Adrian/Paisley but lowkey any girl taking interest in him. I.e. margo etc.

5. Better Than Revenge ~ Paisley/Margo

6. Last Kiss ~ Adrian

7. Enchanted ~ Adrian when they met again at St Judes. their first official date was at a ball esque thingy

8. Ours ~ about Adrian @ her parents and the disapproval

9. Mine ~ Adrian (Storytelling) what she imagined

Safe And Sound (EP)

(The EP about/for haley)

1. Safe And Sound ~ a lullaby for haley

2. Innocent ~ about herself in a way and trying to forgive herself for hr mistakes when it came to haley and the choices she make but also reminding her that she could stay innocent and young for as long as possible

3. Never Grow Up ~ wishing she doesn't grow up too fast because she very much did and it was terrifying

4. Untouchable ~ How haley's kept away from her

5. Breathe ~ the follow on from untouchable and not being able to breathe without her

Welcome To New York

1. Welcome To New York ~ Her love for the city and dreaming of living there

2. Blank Space ~ (Storytelling)

3. Style ~ Adrian

4. Out Of The Woods ~ the aftermath of (tw) the rape and holly fighting to get out of the dark place and there's obviously hints of Adrian in there being with her through it

5. All You Had To Do Was Stay ~ Soraya & Dallas (storytelling)

6. Shake It Off ~ speaks for itself basically for her fans

7. I Wish You Would ~ Adrian after he disappeared when she first got pregnant and they separated

8. Bad Blood ~ Anyone against her and labelling her as the mean girl. She went very theatrical and played on it. Although everyone thinks it's specifically about Hensley, she was just one name on a long list

9. Wildest Dreams ~ back when she first started at St Judes and met Julian again, his was another sing based on their first date at the ball-esque event

10. How You Get The Girl ~ at Dallas about Soraya

11. This Love ~ Adrian

12. I Know Places ~ wanting to hide from the insider and paps and opinions whether it's with Adrian or on her own.

13. Clean ~ The last song she wrote for the album and it's about (tw) the rape. It was the first thing she ever wrote about it so it's extremely personal

14. Wonderland ~ (storytelling)

15. You Are In Love ~ Adrian

16 . New Romantics ~ St Judes/Monroe life

Reputation

1. Ready For It? ~ preparing for battle in a way. this was one of if not her biggest album and it was all about her fighting back and taking control of her public narrative. She wrote/sang about things you'd never expect and said ings you'd never expect so it's getting ready for that

2. End Game ~ Adrian

3. I Did Something Bad ~ Everyone who did her wrong and called her the mean girl

4. Don't Blame Me ~ Adrian

5. Delicate ~ Adrian

6. Look What You Made Me Do ~ are you ready for it 2.0

7. So It Goes... ~ Adrian

8. Gorgeous ~ Adrian/Haley/Soraya

9. Getaway Car ~ Park

10. King Of My Heart ~ Adrian

11. Dancing With Our Hands Tied ~ Adrian

12. Dress ~ Adrian

13. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things ~ about the shit she gets for winning awards

14. Call It What You Want ~ Adrian and their relationship but it's aimed at their parents

15. New Years Day ~ painting a nice picture of new years day (because She was (tw) raped on new years eve night just before midnight) and basically how Adrian was there for her the day after and picked her back up

Lover

1. I Forgot That You Existed ~ anyone not on her side and lowkey about the guy who r*ped her. Although that's on her mind a lot, this would have been her when she's enjoying her time with someone and she forgets for one night. Or how she wishes she could forget about him for good.

2. Cruel Summer ~ probably her brief rebound of a relationship with park tbh and she convinced herself it was love to try and make herself feel better about the guilt. But ultimately they both knew it wasn't good or going to work.

3. Lover ~ about Holly and Adrian finally being in complete control of their relationship but still having insecure moments where she worries about losing him, but he's there every time. It speaks for itself mainly tbh.

4. The Man ~ the feminist jumped out LOL she aimed for this one to be relatable in every sense cause she knows it's a very common topic. But some things jump out from her own experiences like: "when everyone believes ya, what's that like?" About the r*ape trial.

5. The Archer ~ I love how holly it is 😩 reflecting on how she handled certain situations like things with hensley (bad blood) and how she's made a lot of mistakes. And being lowkey terrified she'll lose people because of it. I think mainly Adrian and Soraya tbh.

6. I Think He Knows ~ Adrian

7. Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince ~ about the negative affects caused by st Jude's and "fame" and having Adrian there through it all. The second first specifically would be about the night of the r*pe and when she told Adrian and he was the one of the only ones who cared what the truth was. Personally I think this is the most holly song on the album! I knew exactly what she'd write it about as soon as I heard it lol

8. Paper Rings ~ Adrian

8. Cornelia Street ~ kinda Begin Again 2.0 for holly and it basically being about that first time she saw Adrian again after they're 4 years apart and the fear she had of losing them/him again. I especially feel the line "It's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend"

9. Death By A Thousand Cuts (storytelling)

10. London Boy ~ her dream has always been to live in New York so she's kinda made herself new York in this album and Adrian's the London boy, even though he isn't English LOL? but their relationship lives in London basically. And she loves NY but she'd go wherever he is instead.

11. Soon You'll Get Better ft The Dixie Chicks ~ Soraya's health problems, how much her wellbeing means to holly and how desperately she needs her to just be okay all the time.

12. False god ~ I picture her breakup with Adrian back when she was pregnant and they were kids. How it all went to shit but that small hope still there "We might just get away with it." She probably would have taken snippets from old journals back from that time for this.

13. You Need To Calm Down ~ It's about ever form of love

14. Afterglow ~ this one hits me so much and cause I'm so invested in holly and adrian, hurts my heart. Basically apologising for hurting him ever, mainly with Park. But lowkey the r*pe thing too. Even tho he'd never be mad or blame her for that, she blamed herself at one point. And She panics regularly that it would ruin them.

15. ME! ~ a confidence boost for herself, her friends and her fans.

16. It's Nice To Have A Friend ~ being in love with your best friend. Also how I picture her and Adrian starting out in school.

17. Daylight ~ about how her and Adrian both had other things while they weren't together, but since they got back together, it was like stepping back into the daylight and nothing can be as perfect as that feeling they have with each other. They never really had it with anyone else.

Folklore

1. The 1 ~ (storytelling)

2. Cardigan ~ recently holly has defo felt kind of forgotten about and falling into the shadows. And as always, Adrian is slowly started to pull her out of her dark place.

3. The Last Great American Dynasty ~ awhile ago Adrian bought them a kind of holiday home and she wrote a story about the previous owner (storytelling)

4. Exile ft Bon Iver ~ the last song she wrote for the album. Her and Adrian recently broke up and have one of if not their biggest arguments and this was about that

5. My Tears Ricochet ~ Her Parents

6. Mirrorball ~ about being what the media want you to be and being perfect and when you fall and break they watch as if it's entertainment

7. Seven ~ (storytelling) a childhood friendship where one is suffering (tw) in am abusive household and the other wants to rescue them. It's also about wanting to stay young as long as possible and when we stopped doing the little things only children get away with

8. August ~ Park

9. This Is Me trying ~ Herself and her struggle to hold it all together. She defo would have had that moment of being on the edge of a cliff and having the moment she decided to back away from it

10. Illicit Affairs ~ Park

11. Invisible String ~ Adrian

12. Mad Woman ~ Herself and women in general

13. Epiphany ~ (storytelling) a couple/people during world war 2

14. Betty ~ (storytelling)

15. Peace ~ for Adrian

16. Hoax ~ (storytelling)

17. The Lakes ~ wanting to run away but of course only with Adrian

Other Songs

Back To December

Sparks Fly

Mean

Long Live

Beautiful Ghosts

Christmas Tree Farm

I Don't Wanna Live Forever

Babe ft Sugarland

Only The Young

#hollywork #holly #saved #discography #holly discography

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