#HE'S MADE OF STEEL I THINK I'VE MADE THAT CLEAR ENOUGH RIGHT? *just dies laughing ok*

[wordlessbabbling]

Gun Metal and Daisies (Thomas Shelby)- Chapter 11

If I cannot bend Heaven, I will raise Hell.

Masterlist

"Aphrodite," I plead to the moon drenched sky "Tell me; if love is meant to heal, then why does it destroy those who choose it?"

From somewhere beyond the clouds, I heard the Goddess laugh.

And I knew.

Saturday.

It had been two days since that day.

That awful day.

That wonderful day.

After Bubs - or, er - Thomas was all stitched up and talking again. They found themselves talking about everything and nothing. Dorothy thought back to that day and sighed: things did not end on a good note.

——

Thomas and Dorothy howled with laughter as Thomas re-told some childhood stories, mostly centred around his brothers antics as they got into God-knows-what.

After sobering up, Thomas thought back to her words earlier that evening.

"The man I've spent time with is Bubs. I've been naïve to think I knew him-."

Thomas also realised that he knew nothing of the girl other than the basic small talk things they had previously discussed.

"So where about are you based? I've never seen you 'round ole' Watery Lane before, eh?"

His question made her stiffen. The life at home that she'd forgotten about when she was with him came rushing back in a blur, all too familiar.

"Oh, that's nothing to worry about, Bubs." Dorothy's smile wasn't genuine but just a quip to get Thomas off her back so she wouldn't have to answer questions.

Seeing her stiffness, he decided that maybe the question could wait for another time; "so still Bubs, eh?" He nudged gently.

"Of course you are! Still my good friend Bubs." She smiled proudly.

Thomas' heart twanged at her words.

The light-hearted conversation moved on, at one point, Dorothy broke open a tin that had boiled sweets in them, Thomas recognised the sweets as the ones the lady down the market used to sell before she passed.

"She gave me the recipe for them when I told her I was baking sweets in the bakery, she said 'I always remember you youngins coming into ma shop and feastin' on ma boiled sweets! I always knew how you liked 'em!'"

Dorothy giggles at the accent and Thomas smiled fondly at the memory of the lady.

Thomas like he'd stated previously, never had a sweet tooth, especially not after the war; but he did indulge a bit in the boiled sweets he remembered so strongly from when he was young and wide-eyed.

The conversation carried on, Thomas spoke with as big gestures as he could manage with his injured shoulder. He talked about his brothers, his sister, his Aunt Pol. For a brief moment he even mentioned a memory he had of his mother. Dorothy felt like she knew them personally from the stories Thomas told.

Dorothy knew what happened in that home before the war. She did grow up on the same streets as the Shelby boys, albeit, she didn't hang around them, but she knew of them.

She knew that their mother died. She knew that their father left. She knew of the Gray children being taken away. She knew of all of it.

Thomas paused when he'd realised he'd been talking for fifteen minutes straight - more than he had in a long time - and looked at Dorothy intently.

"Well I think I've talked enough about my escapades and family; what about yours?"

Thomas knew she knew all of the things that had occurred in his boyhood, so he found it highly unfair that he didn't know any of hers.

Dorothy didn't smile at the question or shake her head like she usually did. Instead a frown placed its way on her face. Her hands which had been sitting in her lap previously were now dancing about. Her fingers in one hand danced around on the back of the other in her lap. Thomas noticed she did this when she got nervous. She'd done it that morning when his men had walked into the pub.

Thomas also frowned at the sight; he thought she would do what she did earlier and change the subject but instead, she only smiled a nervous smile.

She spoke of when she was young. She spoke of a time when she could eat at least one good meal a day. When she could still go down to the sweet shop. When she had full cheeks and a rosy face to match.

She didn't speak of home or her family. Thomas also noticed this but decided it good to let her talk of what she wanted.

"I remember actually when I was still in school - I was in Johns year, and one day at lunch, John kicked a ball and it hit me square in the face." Dorothy broke out into a fit of giggles.

"He didn't even notice, he just ran in, scooped the ball back up and ran back to you lot." Dorothy cringed at the memory.

"Yeah that sounds like John-boy."

Thomas continued, "So you're the same age as John, you went to the same school as we did, I must have come into contact with you at some point!"

Dorothy thought for a moment before clicking her fingers, "I think there was this one time! It was at the cut, I think. I was running around with friends, doing god-knows-what and I think you and Freddie Thorne were racing each other to the other side of the river, when one of my friends picked up Freddie's clothes and your shirt and ran off with them!" Dorothy roared with laughter as she trailed off at the end, trying to keep her giggles controlled.

"That was you!" Thomas could only gape at her.

"Well, technically it wasn't me, it was my friends, but sure." She shrugged and doubled over in laughter once again.

Thomas only shook his head at the memory. The two of them had got out, Freddie had to trek back down Watery Lane in only his shorts while Thomas had his suspenders on. Thomas got a right earful from Polly that night.

Thomas scowled a bit, but couldn't hold it at the sight of Dorothy clutching her belly with laughter.

Thomas thought that by asking her all these questions, he could get a bit further to the truth of who she was.

If Thomas was being honest with himself, he knew it would only take a bit of digging for him to work out who she was. But for some unknown reason to him, he decided that he liked the mysterious aura that came with this petite girl.

But despite all this; Thomas was tired of beating around the bush.

He slapped his hands on his thighs and stated, "right. Go on then. Let's hear who you are. I think it's only fair, don't you? Eh?" Thomas not so subtly inquired.

Dorothy's mood dropped.

She wasn't one to get angry, and she certainly wasn't angry, she didn't do angry. But she was definitely a little miffed right now.

She knew that if she told Bubs who she was, he'd look into her and see everything about her. He'd look into her home life and see pity. He'd look into her mind and see bells of warning that never stopped ringing. He'd look into her heart and determine that though, broken, it was unbearably full and for a man like Thomas Shelby, he wouldn't be comfortable with a heart like hers.

"Who are you to sit here and talk to me about being fair? Your whole business is built on the foundations of murder and petty lying. Don't talk to me about fair, Shelby."

Dorothy wasn't angry.

But it was in that moment she saw him, Thomas Shelby. She saw that killer in his eyes flash for a second then disappear.

Thomas' gaze softened when the impact of her words hit him.

It was then, he learnt another thing about Bonny. She was kind, but she wasn't weak.

Kindness is often mistaken for weakness and that is a mistake you don't want to make.

Kind people are not born that way, they do not stumble into it, kind people are forged in fire and darkness and imploding stars... they have steel cores. Throw a punch and you'll break your hand.

The devil runs when the good man goes to war.

Their silence lasted until Thomas heard his name being shouted in the streets. He didn't realise just how much time he'd spent in the bakery.

Dorothy sat in her chair. She felt guilty for her words, but she had no other way of keeping her name close to her heart. Thomas could read her like a book if he wanted to.

But unlike Thomas, she was not burdened with her name. She had no squander with the way people spoke her name.

So she kept it close to her heart.

Because it was then, she knew, that once Thomas Shelby had her name, her heart would surely follow, not far behind.

Thomas stared at her for another moment. He lifted himself out of his chair, groaning in slight pain which made Dorothy flinch.

He left the shop, the bell chiming loudly enough to shake the tension but not push it to leave.

But he left. Without so much as a goodbye.

Dorothy sat for another moment. She sighed and got to work with cleaning up.

——

So no. Thursday did not end on a good note.

But lucky for Dorothy, it was Clear-out day. So hopefully the people of the market, would surely keep her busy.

But never enough to distract her from the aching pain in her stomach as she thought of her friend.

——

Awww this one was kinda sad.

Well anyway, thank you for 300 reads! The support is crazy!

Thanks for the love.

Feedback and comments are wanted.

See ya next time!

[flannelshirtandjeans]

Oc interview meme

I was tagged by @radbeetle (thank you!!) and took this as an opportunity to talk through ghoul Norma in the future, interviewed by some future reporter for some paper or newsletter that's happening then. I'm stuck on mobile so super apologies for long and no cut! D:

I tag: (if you wanna do it) @johnandrasjaqobis @ceilingcow @keycchan

"We are sitting down today with one of the most pivotal figures of our Commonwealth's recent history, the mysterious but beloved by many, Norma Hawke, on the little porch of her home on Spectacle Island. She is serving a drink she claims to have coined, tarberry and mutfruit and just enough alcohol to have a punch."

How old are you?

Norma looks almost startled at the question. "You know," she tells me, "I have lost count. I was 32 when I came to... this Commonwealth, and had been frozen for more than 200 years. That was in... what year is it? Oh, and I turned into a ghoul before 40. That was decades and decades ago."

What do you look like? (For any readers who haven't seen you, or pictures.)

She laughs. "OLD, the way that us ghouls do. But I like to think I still got it!" She laughs again, and continues: "I'm a ghoul, unlike some stories say, and I don't have fins and gills like a fish. I'm just an old, short, round ghoul with some of my old hair left, still brown. Lipstick on every day, eyebrows drawn. I like it, it's routine."

Where are you from?

"The past. I'm a time traveler from a Vault - no, I'm originally from a different state (IDA HAS FORGOTTEN WHICH ONE), where I lived with my parents until I moved to Boston - here - to study law. Used to live in an apartment downtown, and then up in Sanctuary Hills with my husband and baby. Our old house is still there, I think. I... haven't been in a while."

Where do you live now?

She perks up, and a moment of quiet old sadness has passed without me realizing it was there initially. "Here on this island - I moved here when my wife here died and I started working more with the Minutemen to help build a government and a better Boston." She gets up and walks me around - shows me the single room cottage with its rag rugs and quilts, the garden swing, her little garden, and the fields, and her pride and joy, the apple tree. "I always wanted to be more of a country girl when I was younger" Norma says and pats the tree trunk. "I was such a city girl in truth, even when I thought I was getting there with my husband before the war, but I think I've gotten my wish now!"

What was your childhood like?

She snorts. "Rich in money but not in anything else. My parents... had me more because it was the thing to do and some kind of a status symbol, and not because they really wanted a child and to be a good caring family. Work came first. I grew up with a long list of tutors, and little love. Thankfully it mostly only made me want to be better than them."

What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

"I have worked a lot with the New Government of the Commonwealth, and the Minutemen that started building towards it. Not as much as I did, because I'm old and tired, and it's time to let them fly on their own instead of mother henning left and right there." She laughs. "I am still the highest lawmaster I suppose, but the law is working as well as it can without me too. Back in my day, when factions were more... at war with each other, I did work with the Minutemen and the Railroad, who joined forces to destroy the Institute."

Tell me about your best friend.

"There aren't a lot of people left who've been here as long as I have," Norma says, and that same quiet sadness creeps to her as before, but her smile remains. "Many have moved on, or died. But I am thankful for those who are still here. Sturges, who keeps the Castle running, and me too. He's like sunshine. We've seen each other less often of late, but try to meet at least every year on an important anniversary. To remember."

Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

She shakes her head. "No. I did, but they're gone. Husband, child, and wife. The child by my own hand." This child, as we know from history, was the Institute's leader, "Father". "His name was Shaun," Norma says. "I always found that whole title creepy."

What about a partner or partners?

"Gone as well - I don't have anyone now, and my heart is probably too frail to fall in love again, truthfully. Jay was my first husband, a big red-headed shepherd from Maine, the sweetest man I ever met. And then there was Ellie (editor's note: Ellie Perkins, author of such crime thrillers as "The Ghost of Goodneighbor") after the war, the wittiest most amazing woman-- and I buried them both. I've had... flings. Friends with benefits. But I don't think I can bury more partners." Who these friends with benefits are, she won't say.

Who are your enemies, and why?

"There are people who don't like the new government, and understandably blame me for it, me being the only one left was such s big part of establishing it. I don't think I have any real enemies though. Any that I had would be... also mostly dead."

Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

"I steered mostly clear of them when I first came here. I have never been a big fan of such... military structures, and even less after seeing how much my husband hated his time with the army at the time. After joining forces with the Railroad, and knowing the Brotherhood's dislike of synths, the safest course was to avoid them, and try to keep them away. There were other tensions as well, with them and the Minutemen too. The Brotherhood's blimp was blown from the sky with their leaders at time shortly after the Institute explosion, and there's a lot of stories going around saying that was me too, but I didn't have anything to do with it, I was in too much shock from the Intitute alone to even think of something like that. But their leadership changed after that and now what's remained of the Brotherhood here needs to co-operate with the New Government, and has. I still don't like them much, but they're not causing too many problems, and have been... forced to readjust their thinking a little."

When asked about who she thinks was responsible for the blimp explosion, she only says "I have a pretty good idea", and refuses to elaborate.

What about The Enclave?

"I have heard of them, but don't know much about them, truth be told."

How do you feel about Super Mutants?

She shrugs. "Depends on the person, same as anyone else! I used to be afraid of them when all I'd seen was the groups that'd go around raiding and eating people, running around with mininukes - and feel sorry for them after learning about the FEV. But so much has happened since, and a lot of humans I saw at the time weren't really any different. Just smaller. Things are better now, at least some."

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

Norma laughs. "Oh! I've been in so many fights! Hmm." She stops to think, looking across the water to where the blue Minuteman flag flies above the Castle. She laughs again and says: "never thought as a girl that I'd end up with so many war stories. But here's one: once in one of the old hospitals, there was a band of raiders that had trapped a deathclaw on the bottom floor and used it to stage cage fights. I'd... cleared the raiders - they had... taken over a Railroad base and killed the agents there, and I wasn't looking to avenge them as much as see qhat had happened, and had no intent to deal with the deathclaw... But my dog slipped into the pit, thankfully without alerting the deathclaw immediately, so off course I had to go after him. Ended up on top of some cages down there, knocked off BETWEEN them where the deathclaw couldn't reach me and wandered off deeped into the bottom floor... I was pretty sure I would die right there but me and my companion managed to JUST kill it before it got to any of us."

(I guess that answers the next question:) Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

"I have! More if them than I care to count, truth be told - I've had to travel through the Glowing Sea more than once, and once fought a park full of mutation of them that had some alligator in them! I think... a deathclaw was one of the first things I fought after I woke up here, outside of bugs. Just in Concord, right outside Sanctuary Hills."

Do you like fighting?

"I don't. I may gladly tell stories of victories past because they make good stories and because some of those need to be remembered, and learned from so they don't happen again - but I don't want to sound like I enjoyed it, or wouldn't rather have solved the situation without a fight."

What’s your weapon of choice?

She grimaces. "Pistols. Sniper rifles. I'm not strong or dexterous beyond being able to sneak well, so I need the advantage of the distance. I used to hate the sniper rifles because I felt like I wasn't giving whoever I was aiming at a fair fighting chance, it felt... so impersonal. I don't know, I alway hate killing people anyway, it just came with some additional guilt."

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

Norma shakes her head. "Not brute strength for sure. I'm a lawyer still, even under all the things I've become since, and my first and foremost resort is always wits and charm, I think. It doesn't always work, obviously but I think... it has worked best for me so far."

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

Norma shifts uncomfortably, and dips inside for a minute, coming back with an old frayed and battleworn vault suit with golden number 111 on the back. "That's why I'm here," she says, and for the first time sounds almost dark. "The vault 111 was supposed to be my new home when the bombs fell, but they froze us instead, and I've learned of many other horrifying experiments happening in other vaults as well. It's VILE. I still can't go into a vault without seeing my husband being shot in the head, and my baby being stolen. I hate it. I don't go into them anymore if I can help it. I'm glad that communities can flourish in them now, I know Sanctuary has built their winter home in 111, but there's too much trauma in them for me."

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

Norma gestures at herself. "Obviously, I think -- turning into a ghoul was... awful, and painful, and disgusting, but I'm lucky to have had wonderful loving people around me at the time. I don't think I would be as happy in myself as I am now if it hadn't been for them. But even before I became a ghoul, radiation... did strange things to me, or I think it was the radiation? I didn't get skin reactions from swimming like everyone else, and eventually I started growing skin between my fingers, like webs?" She shows me her hands and spreads the toes on her bare feet to show me, and indeed she has some webbing there. "They took some damage from the ghoulification And then I found that I could breathe underwater. Some kind of a mutation, I think. The rads may have done their damage invisibly all that time though, all the swimming, the ghoulification came on so suddenly and without an apparent event that triggered it."

What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

"I am always a fan of cats - does that count? I am so relieved that they are still around. I got my first cat here from Ellie when I'd just turned into a ghoul, and I haven't been without since. If it DOESN'T count, I really like radstags, they're beautiful in their own way."

What's your least favorite wasteland critter?

"Bloodbugs. Bugs in general."

How do you feel about robots?

"Depends on the robot again! Some of them are really stuck in their old programming and are hard to interact with because of that, but others are great! Codsworth - bless his metal heart - tended to my roses for centuries while I was gone! He's like family to me."

How many caps do you have on you right now?

"I couldn't say, truth be told. I have some savings, but not as much as some people say I do. I get a comfortable living, but I would without caps, too. The Castle likes to send stuff over, they keep good care of their grandma ghoul."

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

Norma shrugs. "Usually don't drink them! Nuka Cola is noce for marinades."

Do you do chems?

"As a habit, no. Sometimes for aches, and sometimes if I need a stim. But I've never really been much to use them beyond just that."

Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

Norma nods, and is quiet for a moment. "I don't... think that a day goes by without me thinking of that time. There's just... sovmany convenience items that I end up missing, or animals, or people. I don't tend to dwell, not anymore, it's past and won't change what is now, and I'll only hurt if I think about it too much. These days it's easier though, mostly nostalgia. I have found a good life here."

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

"I--" Norma falters and for the first time she looks truly fragile. "I wish... I regret that I couldn't be a mother to my son. That was entirely out of my hands, but I do regret it." She wipes away a tear and tries a laugh. "There are so many things I wish I'd done differently with him here, and keep wondering if I could have reached him somehow... If this could have gone differently. I don't know. I try to not wallow to much on what could have been done differently. It's too late to change that now."

What’s your biggest achievement?

Or what do you hope to achieve?

She wipes away her tears. "Ahh, this is easier. I'm... The Commonwealth now? I'm proud that I've been a part of building it towards a much safer and more prosperous place to live. But most of ask, I think? I'm proud of the library. That's something that me an Ellie built together, it was... like a proof of concept for everything bigger, I suppose. And it's still a lovely, lively place now, growing every day."

What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

"I want the Commonwealth to keep building. I want safety, and comfort, and sustainability. I want more connections elsewhere. And I want to know it can do that without me - I don't plan to go just yet, but I'm old and tired, and I will not be here forever. I want to be just some grandma, and let the world sort itself out. I've earned my rest, I think. And you know, I think it will happen, too. I think it will."