#HE'S ALSO VOICED BY JK SIMMONS SO…BONUS POINTS FOR THAT

[mentalmeles]

GOD THAT VILLAIN INTRODUCTION WAS BRUTAL….

[fuchsiamae]

caveline 1, 14, 15

holidays - he never remembers when secretaries’ day is (he firmly believes than holidays should have a DATE to count, none of that nth weekday of whenever shit), but he’s told her to get herself something nice on his dime every year. generally she’s the type to self-sacrifice and act like a martyr about it (modest like that) but once in a while, if there’s a treat she REALLY wants, she’ll use his checkbook and say it was a secretaries’ day present. he never objects. she deserves it. 

insane moment: in let’s say 1973, once they’re bankrupt and struggling, she gets herself something stupidly frivolous—she’s not the furs-and-jewelry type, but she’s feeling bitter and in the mood for a fight. he’ll lecture her for wasting his money, she gets to say “so something nice for me is a waste of money?” except when he sees it and asks where she got it, and she says he bought it for her, he’s glad. he hates her self-denial schtick, she’s been working hard, she deserves it. let folks see he can still treat his girl right. (but it WAS a waste of money! how can he be so careless! oh she’s SO mad, and she doesn’t even get her fight. if she returns it he doesn’t notice, but I’m not sure she does—she does deserve it.) might throw this into t+t, it’s pretty

dancing - dance marathons were a big fad when they were growing up, they both know how to cut a rug. cave warms up the dance floor at every company party. caroline makes a point to dance with other men, ostensibly to keep their cover (it would look untoward if they only danced with each other) but nobody’s fuckin fooled by that, including cave. he knows (correctly) that she  just likes him cutting in. her favorite move:

scope out the prettiest girl here

palm cave off on prettiest girl

flirt a little with some nearby dude until he asks her to dance

never make eye contact with her partner the whole dance, because she’s watching cave watching her (while he ignores the pretty girl (she pays more attention to his pretty girl than her own dude (for normal heterosexual reasons)))

see how long his jealousy can simmer before he takes her back

if the dude is clueless enough to flirt with her while dancing, she will immediately recoil, which is cave’s cue to drop everything and go into the “is this guy bothering you?” routine. if the dude then does anything but back off while apologizing profusely, he will get canned. everyone who’s worked at aperture long enough recognizes this pattern and steers clear of it. 

singing -  she sings in private, when she’s relaxed or alone. she doesn’t sing FOR him, but she’ll sometimes do it when he’s near enough to hear. he likes that. knowing she has a nice voice and wanting to show her off, he once tried to goad her into singing at a company christmas nondenominational winter holiday party. just a casual thing, makeshift karaoke with jane from the typing pool on the piano. oh boy she did not like that at all. silent angry tears at the end of the night, no sex for a week, no GOOD sex until new year’s. he didn’t make that mistake twice. 

bonus: opera is a glados thing, not a caroline thing. she likes the way it resonates inside herself, now that she has a body with great acoustics. 

bonus bonus: not only is ellen mclain a professional operatic soprano, jk simmons ALSO has a musical theatre background, and does sing (god fucking help me)