#HE WANTS TO IMPROVE AND BE BETTER <3< /div>
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You! Internalize that you do not always need to "improve your art/craft" now! It's great to learn and develop your skills, but you do not need to come from a place of hating where you are now! You certainly do not need to force yourself to improve if it is coming in between you and enjoying the things you do. Improvement for improvements sake does not have to be the only goal, nor the only one that "should matter"
You are allowed to have motifs, enjoyment, ameturism, and "less skill." Kill and devour the capitalist in your head that dictates that you must always improve for everybody else's sake and your "productivity."
#art#i've bought some knitting needles and i don't plan to be a goot knitter. i want to be a 'good' crocheter though#i think i denied myself learning to knit because it 'should mean' that i improve upon my skills every picosecond of the day#look - i want to be a good crocheter for MY sake. i want to be a mediocre knitter also for MY sake#i want to be like squidward - able to do so much art in a vast array of mediums without being the best#also squidward is a *good* artist and a mediocre clarinet player and that is GOOD#he's genuinely a very talented artist. his music is a different beast though <3#a jack of all trades is a master of none - but better is he than a master of one#gentle reminders
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for requestober ! my heart's been aching for yanderapy for a while and i would like to get something about them :3 i don't have a specific prompt . i do like to see them more on the angsty-unhealthy-relationship side lol like some of the requests you made last year . overall , just seeing anything about them would be nice . X3
Day 1 - Sodium Chloride Couple
#My art#Requestober#Yanderapy#First req of the year is my boys!! I am blessed!! 💕 Thank you for thinking of them <3#Hopefully this will sate your desires enough - it's not exactly angsty but I did try to bring in a bit of their weirdness lol#Y'know that one post that's just accidentally recreating the Homestuck shipping quadrant?#I still know very little about Homestuck but does Kismesis do anything to make the two chill out or is it just aimed at each other lol#Personally I really like the concept of a sodium chloride couple! That two people match each other's freak just right and become harmless#Because that's these two so much!! They're perfect for each other on accident (on purpose) and make each other better!#Ishida would ask too much and Mitsu would give too much if they were with different people#But their tendencies balance each other out - make them realize they're going too far because of what they see in the other#That and they genuinely like each other <3 They want to improve the other both selfishly and altruistically#Selfishly because then they get the best version of the other all to themselves hehe <3#But altruistically because they wish for each other's happiness and gain confidence in their ability to grant it#They're good for each other's self esteem! Although Ishi was already pretty self-confident before they got together haha#He feels happier and more whole with Micchan tho <3 Like he wants to - and can be! - his best self for and with him#All the mushy-gushyness on them being silly together lol - clearly it's been too long since I've doodled them I'm rambly ♪#Had a lot of fun with the hands here :) Ishi holding Mitsu's face so delicately ♫#They probably could (and probably do lol) switch who's got what and be just as happy#They just enjoy being together and making each other all head-silly haha <3 Not hard for either to achieve ♪
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hehe postin at midnight- i woulda gone to sleep earlier but my brain kept thinking about finishing this woops
also some doodles
#Tryna figure out what I like about how favorite artists do digital art in rder to improve how i do mine...#plus i wanted to make some neat poses but these still seem flat :/#idk i like this concept mayhaps i'll redraw it in a year and by then I'll be better#also this is supposed to be after drunk lee destroyed the restaurant-#like he conked out and everyone relaxed for 5 seconds and then he just woke up again and so it continuED#also he kicked neji in the ribs teehee <3#rock lee#tenten#neji hyuga#might guy#*punching a wall repeatedly* I LOVE DRAWING :D IT'S S FUNNNN!!!! WOOOOOOO#team gai#my art
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Ginger and Gingerbread or something, I don't know I didn't grow up with this show
#but the truth is NO ONE GREW UP WITH THIS SHOW!!! I came up with the project!!!#...well I guess that means I did grow up with it lol#anyway#Ginger (right) and Gingerbread (left) is a series about a sister and brother gingerbread cookies that get stuck in Gingerbread land#thanks to -and I'm not joking- a peppermint watch Gingerbread has that can traverse dimensions#It also included their Aunt(?) Cake and their cousins as well as the annoying next-door kid Sugar- I mean Sergeant#(who of course has an incessant crush on Ginger)#(but he does get better I promise)#theres also a human antagonist a cookie version of said antagonist and a “pretty” girl named Pepper who everyone (Ginger) hated#(and likewise Gingerbread had an incessant crush on Pepper but unlike Sergeant it does NOT get better with those two)#(also Pepper is Human Gingerbread Cookie whatever's cousin. So that's fun!)#The cousins were the most generic characters ever but I still love them#They were Cutie (the baby) Hungry (the... self explanatory) Gothy (also self explanatory) Scaredy (need I say more) and Sassy#Sassy was the bratty older teenager with a new boyfriend every week of course.#In the original series Sergeant was adopted by Aunt Cake and he and Sassy had a sibling rivalry#I may just make him an orphan now... lol... but I'll still make the Cake Cousins his found family#why did I not think of the cake cousins as a name sooner#anywho. This show gives me intense 2000s disney channel/CN vibes to me let me know what you think of this 3+ year old idea lol#art#digital art#krita#gingerandgingerbreadseries#gingerbread man#original series#also I gave Gingerbread the hat to improve his silhouette is it dumb or no (/hj)#story idea#original idea#oh I forgot someone! There was a cool girl named Angel(ica) and she was Scaredy's friend who became his girlfriend later in the show#i loved the two#oh hey should I make more of these drawings of the rest of the cast/the cast I want to keep
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i love reading things set in countries that i'm knowledgeable and/or have been to because i can point out really minor errors in fanfiction. i think the average american does not know that in england (and apparently some of asia! which i only just found out) there are switches on power outlets so you can just turn it off instead of unplugging it. like 9 times out of 10 that won't come up but on the off chance it does i'm like ohoho. this clown has never been to england...! my favorite part though is watching americans (specifically americans because i swear to god people who speak english as a second language and/or are from any other country have some idea of what it's like to have an accent / personally know people who have accents? idk) try to write british accents like it is REALLY funny. i literally only lived their for five years and i never picked up a full accent myself (certain words and tones i did but they're mostly gone after living in the states again for a few years) but between living there and having a ridiculous amount of family there & visiting them often (like once a year if im lucky) i like KNOW what british accents sound like. i think some americans genuinely dont even know theres more than one or two english accents i think some people think there's like posh english and chav english and nothing else. maybe scottish accent gets thrown in there if they remember the uk is not in fact just england. i would bet real money they've never heard a welsh accent. anyway my point is it's really funny watching people who don't know as much as i do write this stuff. like i see it and i understand how doctors read this and go Oh that is so medically inaccurate. i get them now. anyway i dont remember what my point here was but please know if you are attempting to write a british accent. reddit and youtube are your best friends if you don't have a british friend you can ask and also rest assured even if you do ONE google search. it will not be the worst attempt ive seen guaranteed
#muffin mumbles#idek what the definitive worst one ive seen is#but ive seen some baaaaad ones#favorite example though is in the fucking jjba dub.#like thats not even a fan / indie project thats a real professional thing people were paid to do?!?! and the accents. are fucking TERRIBLE#please im begging you. you dont need to hire famous american voice actors for this. just go to any pub in the whole of england#and i can guarantee youd get better results accent-wise.#speedwagon's accent is easily the worst in part 1 like if you want examples lemme know cause i have some. its so bad. its really bad#but also so so funny#joseph in part 2 is. MARGINALLY better than most of the part 1 cast#not good. far from it. but an improvement#anyway hearing speedwagon say anything especially in part 1 (hes calmer in part 2 and he sounds better (not good. better)#like hes better in part 2 but not by much and only sometjmes.)#hearing this painfully obvious attempt at an american doing a cockney(?) (cant even tell for sure) accent complete with misused slang.#is SO fucking funny#like i showed me mom and she said it was worse than dick van dyke in mary poppins and shes not even wrong#and the slang isnt even like. irs not even super uncommon slang and i dont think its used wrong technically (iirc) but it just sounds so#painfully unnatural. please i am begging them to just hire british people next time. i promise you there are british voice actors#that being said i am still incredibly sad they just gave everyone american accents from part 3 onwards because i miss the awful accents#i miss them dearly.#the main benefit to this imo is that now joseph joestar despite living in england for the first almost twenty years of his life#just got this full blown american accent after living in new york. like i know he did not pick that up naturally#i KNOW dude watched stupid fuckinf tv shows to practice his accent. i know he sounded like a cartoon mobster and suzie q was like jojo.#please for the love of god. you cannot start talking like this. go back to being british#alas he did not listen. but he did drop the mobster thing (sadly.)#anyway this is really unrelated but if joseph was not old as fuck when it started airing i think he wouldve gotten a kick outta seinfeld.#like if the years lined up that wouldve been his main show to practice his american accent to the point people are like hey you kinda sound#like jerry seinfeld. and hes like hah i wonder how that happened!#hes a massive fucking loser is what im saying. hes like my weirdo great uncle joseph joestar#anyway. got really off topic. thank you for watching remember to SMASH that like button
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Can some of Lionblaze's axed kits come back and he have a relationship with them with another she-cat, or even hit Toadstep with the woman beam, maybe and Lionblaze has to raise them after Toad dies? I liked him and Cinder making up and him apologizing to her before Holly was saved. I like Holly/Cinder, and I love your Queen's rights law, I just....Would Queen's Law Cover Lionblaze if he just showed up with 3 kits one day?
Unfortunately I can't give this family even more kittens, they're a huge problem with ThunderClan's genetic diversity and also present a massive problem with Nightheart in ASC. He feels 'alone' and 'pressured' when half the Clan is completely unimportant Firekin
Snaptooth/Flywhisker/Hollylark have to be one or the other, either Fallenleaf's kids or Lionblaze's.
But that doesn't mean Lionblaze is completely incapable of apologizing now, he doesn't need more kittens to 'atone'! Ivypool is still here, she's always going to be his daughter, he can make amends with her directly.
He's a grandparent AND an uncle. He may not be a father again, but he doesn't need to be.
#The Queen’s Rights would cover him if he showed up with 3 kids though#to answer your question#Also as a side note... I try to avoid ever trying to think of getting kids or lovers as 'rewards'#When the implication comes up it makes me try to fix it as a problem#I wouldn't want Lionblaze's improvement to mean he can get new babies to prove it#I could break off Fly and Snap into a seperate litter to give to ToadxLion... since they leave anyway#I would probably have them surrogated by Rosepetal if that was the case#But it already works out nicely that Lionblaze doesn't raise more kids and instead makes amends with Ivypool and Cinderheart --#--because he's actually sorry#And he wants to be a better figure for both them and for their new kittens#Bonefall Rewrite#Bonefall AVoS
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the council will judge you now
#sriracha.txt#this has been rattling around in my brain for MONTHS. every time i use that pic of the gorilla i think of making it#i feel like the zoroquest makes this a little funnier.. they are waiting for him </3#anyhow one day when i am better at editing + have reached the vergil fight in dmc5 i will come back and redo this#i wanted everyone to have that same loose hazey look that the original screenshot has.. the gorilla is somewhat there but bernie.. being#pulled from a real life sharp picture.. ofc he was more difficult to work with#and i'm not super pleased with how sharp he is here + i think i can definitely improve on the composition in the future (i think having#bernie behind the yamato would make it look more seamless? but vergil in the chair is currently The Base Photo so i can't underlay bernie#behind it atm) BUT. this is like my proof of concept.. i needed to get it out of my brain hehe :]#vergil#this is going to inevitably get lost in my person tag but i don't tag vergie enough for it to get lost there.. so maybe when i find zoro#i can come back to this and compose it properly <3
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I’m soooo excited to finish writing toxic!megumi btw 🤤
#🧚🏽♀️ — luxe chit chat#the doc is low key gathering dust but it’s okay#idk if I mentioned Kay is here until Monday so we are just hanging out and having fun!#we’re rewatching spy x family atm!#just been watching a bunch of stuff and playing games together it’s been rly nice#idk how many of u here followed me from my old blog#I mentioned having a rly tough time with a friend and tbh the situation hasn’t improved in the least#my mental health is super bad bc I feel really trapped with no options#but spending this time w Kay has been so nice#I’ve just had a shower n we r gonna watch more sxf!!#ANYWAY my point is I just haven’t had a chance to write lately since he’s visiting!#he uses my laptop to play Pokémon and stuff bc I have a better gaming one hehe <3#but I am gonna finish toxic megumi sometime next week#im hoping I might be able to squeeze some time in to write in when Kay sleeps in!#i wanted to do it today but he woke up not too long after me!#he usually sleeps in super late he doesn’t sleep too good :(#omg I’m rambling so much I’m sorry I hope ur all having good days and nights and taking care of yourselves!!
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girl help im going back n forth on whether or not i should send an email to thank the beautiful man fr letting me join the drawing session last week (more info on that entire situation here and here) and letting him know i probably wont be back but appreciate having had the experience either way. great or horrible idea leave a comment or DM to lmk.
#anyway more nuance on the whole situation is this. i am very single and this guy keeps being on my mind but i do not have any read on him#the last contact we had was me makin an ass of myself by going like hehe yeah this was nice everyone was nice ok yall have a nice evenin bye#while my heart was like visibly pounding out of my chest and u could probably see on my face i was internally thinking girl shut UP!!! LEAVE#so im like ok either hes weirded out by me so let me say thx AGAIN now in a composed way AND giving him peace of mind knowing i wont be back#unless?? i was not as awkward as i thought & get reassured i can return any time and then i could still b like thanks! and just Not go#i mean even then he might say it's fine even if he IS uncomfrtable w me just to 1. be nice and 2. make money w a participant locked in yknow#it does NOT help that the line btwn casual and professional was like NOT there btw its him just hosting the event as we all do our art idkkk#anyway if you THINK youve PROBABLY been a lil off is it better to 1. have a do-over and get closure or 2. fuck off forever hoping u never#like EVER run into the dude again and be awkward AGAIN bc well! u live in the same city and are both into art so?? there IS a possibility#I CAN SEE THE PROS AND CONS OF BOTH OPTIONS REALLY#yay for sending email: get a response get some clarity NOW. nay for sending email: girl u met him twice. please. leave the stranger alone <3#the one positive abt me feeling Dumb and Embarrassing is at least every time i think back i heave a Big Ole Sigh. feels nice tbh feels good#sad part is i rediscovered how much i love doing art and want to improve. would love to return it was so cheap.. pleek ill get over my crush
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Gotham's sullied. It's filled with brutes who control this city through violence and intimidation.
You didn't answer my question.
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH - ahem. I want to get rid of them, Batman, to improve Gotham's intellectual and moral standing. But I'm not a thug like you. My approach is a bit more... refined.
#( 🧩 ✧ THE PRINCE OF PUZZLES ✧ | VISAGE )#// took this audio clip for a promo but didn't use it#// BUT LIKE - everything about this specific scene / quotes describes my eddie to a T!!!!#// the way he wants to improve the city - the way he thinks he can do it better than batman -#// and the way he shows what a bad temper he has - even for but a moment#// ughhhhh <3#// and wally's still my voice claim for eddie :')
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finished my normalcy phase returning to the horrors
#mine#HELLO HELLO whats up yanchamps i am insane again once more god bless. feeling like a yandere prophet returning to his followers#i havent been experiencing The Horrors quite as much still been having ups and downs but normal otherwise#but my brain has been tormenting me a lil bit so i figured i might as well post about it#so i got confessed to recently and my brain exploded out of my head onto the wall and it was like ketchup and everything#brain is unable to process it bc it was from a guy i am not 100% yandere insane over (yet?? maybe?) and its probably not the best decision#since i am not mentally stable or sure about it and other factors. but we are still friends he is very swag and cool i think and enables me#and my yanderism which i post ever so slight morsels of from time to time on main#i mean like it is what i asked for technically? to be loved? cherished even!?!? to be cared for?!??#yet i still am fixated on a guy who treats me like a crumb. sad. literally that one meme#i cannot control which man my brain dissects daily why does it have to be the one who doesnt care about me bruh istg. i mean its not rly#romantic i am just more fixated on him than others? theres way more to it but only so much can be explained in tags. and both these guys#are too old for me anyways. hell on earth. well thats an excuse for me to try and improve more i guess before i rush into anything.#it really sucks that ive waited so long for a serious relationship and everyone who wants one is too old anyways. and those who DONT want#one. well i dont want them they are not committed to the yandere grindset#im getting way better at not being super sick in the head or making rash decisions but those were just some things annoying me<3
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comin in ere just rq to say tldr (final. real.) fuuta !! i want him to be voted innocent/forgiven bcs i hope he can. make peace with himself. i think he's truly a good guy at heart even if that doesn't excuse all that he did (i think he's. some sort of victim too and he deserved better. by this i mean like w his friends?? some sort of pressure and all. also the fact all the blame got put onto him which sucks but also with context, if that context is right, is rather deserved ngl. also i'm worried if he gets voted guilty bcs something bad will def happen)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚#being a twitter user and chronically online did this to him /j#joking bcs yeah a bit of that maybe but i think the guy is kinda lonely. like. friends but there's the pressure from them too and all#yeah my thoughts are clearer now (phew!) i think i think too hard and too much but thinking so much was fun tbh#now i'm chill (listening to haruka's song on repeat as i try to do homework. keyword try)#he/milgram/viewers/es. the 'same'. and. agh. it is just so interesting and so so amazing to me (wow!)#but now i will try to chill (keyword try. it is 1 am i really should do my homework i hate chem)#i have more hw for the week still and then next week... i'll try to do my best and hopefully not get distracted#it's still kinda complicated bcs i want to vote 'what would be best overall' but yeah forgiving him aligns with that i think#as well as my own personal beliefs. so yeah#huh. i think i just thought way too much and confused myself (happens often bcs i try to understand all sides. oops!)#i like fuuta a lot. he reminds me of himself and that's another reason why i think forgiving him this time is for the best#and then ultimately forgiving him as well. but imo guilty first trial actually makes sense even if... at the same time idk#it kinda broke him uhh. made him unstable and all. yk the drama audio yeah. but it helped in making his beliefs better and all#i think milgram makes my brain go into overdrive. maybe even a bit too much#didn't realize how much time passed and i was just thinking and talking about milgram goddamn#hi more thoughts but yeah... he feels regret and i think hes starting to feel guilty. maybe? im not sure my head is sort of a mess again#maybe i just need to sleep. it is 5 am now. hmmm. but yeah hes definitely changed#he's heading towards improvment <3 !! fuuta innocent so true please#im still confused about whether the whole. Guilt thing#sometimes i forget what some words mean or use them as synonyms oops (metavoting and guilt oops!)
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the vampire chronicles are a slippery slope. I told myself i would only read interview and Maybe the vampire lestat someday. now i'm done with tvl and have downloaded queen of the damned from the library 👉👈 but i honestly don't think i will read further than this. (okay maybe the vampire armand. because yknow.)
#i really don't want to read the 13 books tho#tvl was so much better than interview#a huge improvement#honestly i just want to read the books that the tv series is going to adapt#so the first 3#and the vampire armand cause i'm obsessed with him and he's my babygirl#interview with the vampire#je me parle
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i think i finally have a concept to replace one of my old OC concepts and believe it or not it actually came in a dream
#this is like. the third time this has happened#but this is the first time it's actually replaced something#i was planning on scrapping one of the iterations bc it didn't really fit enough for my liking and honestly. this one works better#it's a little more out there than the other iterations (as was the initial idea for it) but it fits better#plus i don't have to do a shit ton of worldbuilding because the second iteration was originally fantasy#meanwhile new-and-improved iteration two fits more with the world-building of the other iterations#plus it can kinda be considered a transition between the world of iteration 1 and the world of iterations 3-8#i just need a way for sayako to go insane in this one#i have no way to end iteration two on a solid basis because technically acanthus and sayako have to die and they have to die separately#acanthus isn't really that hard to come up with since i have his side of iteration 2 more solidified#but sayako is a little iffy#i want their reunion to be earlier than in other iterations. and the problem is that it seems similar to iteration 7#but it's not and it's not even inspired by it. just some things are similar#but like it's almost a completely different plot than the other iterations. iterations 3-5 still follow a similar plot#just with mild deviances. iteration 1 has a completely different plotline and iteration 2 will have a mildly different plotline#and also the other problem is that acanthus' death would really only work if sayako wasn't there. but they've reunited#i could do something like an escape. like sayako chooses to escape but acanthus is too afraid to. so she leaves him behind#but tbh that's like completely against her character. it would be more in line for her to sacrifice herself to let him go#and if she DID sacrifice herself it wouldn't lead to her death. she would just remain trapped#and acanthus wouldn't die either i mean he would be fucking depressed but he'd choose to continue on bc of sayako's sacrifice#if i had it so something happened to sayako (i.e. she dies) before any escape attempt then that would be too far in line with iteration 7#because the events would go down the exact same after that. except without sayako's weird little outward perception ability#WAIT. I COULD DO A WEIRD LITTLE HOMAGE TO ITERATION 1#AND GIVE SAYAKO HER PERCEPTION ABILITY#SHE THEN IS WEIRDED OUT BY THE WHOLE THING AND STARTS TO BECOME MORE AWARE OF HER SITUATION#FUCK. NO. THEN IT ENDS UP LIKE ITERATION 7. NAUR#MAYBE#I DON'T KNOW
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I would like to wish my abuser a very lovely cease to exist
#something something people are able to improve and become better even if they do wrong something something#but he literally tried to strangle me twice and bully someone in and out of the psych ward into suicide#he wanted me dead so fucking bad#so he doesn't get that right imo sorryyyyy :3#abuse#suicide#cw#tw
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EDIT: if this post has made you think about whether or not you are autistic, im really glad! i hope you get some better understanding of yourself and are able to find community and support
however before you go and tell a therapist and seek an official diagnosis please read this thread and consider the points made therein:
autism is highly stigmatized. be fully informed about what you gain and what you lose from having an official diagnosis before seeking one.
EDIT OVER ENJOY THE POST
people do correctly identify that laios is autistic fairly often but a lot of the reasoning begins and ends with his special interest and social difficulties, but honestly it goes far deeper into the build of his character than just those two things
his pain tolerance is wildly inconsistent, unable to tolerate a drop of hot oil (or any heat) but able to shrug off both his leg being bitten off and it being reattached
hes sensory seeking in the extreme. he rubs the bat bones against his face, pets and fluffs the shapeshifter tail.
his desire to eat monsters comes from three very autistic places. 1) the rules for why monsters are not okay to eat but animals are are arbitrary to him so he cannot follow them easily: he cannot understand the 'feelings' argument others make. 2) this too is a sensory seeking behavior. he wants to experience these new things, new flavors and new textures. 3) it completes his knowledge of the monster in question to also have data on its edibility. because he cannot draw that arbitrary line around all monsters, he wants to evaluate them case-by-case and see if real patterns emerge. butchering and eating the monsters improves his knowledge of them greatly and highlights their importance in their ecosystem, as well as making him a part of that same ecosystem
he cannot emote the way others expect him to. he compartmentalizes his feelings (to an unhealthy degree) because he needs a pragmatic solution. so as long as there is a problem to solve, that matters far more than evaluating his emotions and allowing himself to experience them. while this is also a coping mechanism for ptsd, it is a trait found in many autistic people regardless of trauma, as we have trouble sorting the feelings we have and often need time to think about what we feel, so it becomes easier to simply not do it and pretend we dont need to. laios emotions certainly affect him, with or without his processing them, but others do not see what they expect to see and thus dismiss that he is feeling what they would feel
he is incredibly gifted with pattern recognition, observation, and analysis within realms he understands. to understand subjects that dont come easily to him, he must filter them through his established schema (his special interest--this is why they are so special! they help us sort the world). when he isnt sure about the social cues and details hes observed in the shapeshifter arc, he filters it through the lens he understands best: monsters. he was making correct observations about his friends all along, but he could not be confident in that the way he was about their behavior when it came to his interest (chilchucks caution, senshis passions, and marcilles carelessness)
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