#HAT THE FUCK- NOOOOOOOOO

[vociferans]

I LIED ABT THAT BEING THE LAST ONE

i just needed to put emphasis on this.

[randybutternubber]

This is literally so sad his head stalk was REMOVED!!! Give it BACK to him!!! IT IS AN IMPORTANT FEATURE THAT THIN MEN NEED TO DEVELOP PROPERLY!!!! This is cruel I am sickened….

It’s a snorkel, a GPS, a small explosive, a weapon, a sensory organ, a source of food in dire times, a source of entertainment, HIS LIFE LINE!!! IT WAS HIS LEGACY!!! But nooooooooo you mfs just wanted to see him wear silly little hats and did NOT consider the repercussions on his develop! You can trim their stalks, but if you pull them out by the root you are HURTING him and STUNTING his development! Putting him AT RISK of several future malformaties that thin men are especially vulnerable to!! I BET YOU DONT EVEN HAVE THE RIGHT MODEL OF TV FOR HIM TO BASK IN!!!! THIS ISNT EVEN THE RIGHT FLESH SUBSTRATE FOR HIM WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

You all sicken me. Noonzer album is coming soon you guys are not fucking prepared

[fanaticsnail]

OMGGGGG I'm so excited you're watching this movie. You'll love it, trust me! The way I'm so obsessed and need you to be too. I've got the court jester downloading so I can watch it on my flight tonight, and I'll send a brainrot paragraph your way when I watch it.....only if you send one back lol.

-♡♡

Anything for you, ♡♡ Anon. I've got my hot Milo, my Tim Tams, and Griswold the ugly orange cat to watch it with. My Friday night date night 💃

I have decided to add my live commentary to this as I go for you:

Immediately, I am absolutely loving the friendship between the mother and her daughters. The teasing, and the love between the parents is spectacular. I don't know, but it's so joyful. The "When a daughter grows up, the mother becomes friends" motion is absolutely beautiful. I love Simran, her desire to fall in love is so incredibly relatable. Her glee is spectacular, and the yearning in the poetry is gorgeous.

-

Oh my gosh, the dance she does while correlating with Raj's unhinged persona is ridiculous. He's insane, and it's hilarious.

-

Raj's dad is equally as insane, but I also love their playfulness. What even is that? The fact that he loves his son so much, and celebrates him even though his shortcomings are painfully obvious to the audience.

-

NOOOOOO NOT AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE. SHE WANTS TO FALL IN LOVE! NOOOOOOOOO.

(I know that it is a cultural norm, but the foreshadowing and the emphasis on love depicts the yearning for romance, as opposed to having an arranged marriage set for her).

-

OH MY GOSH THEY MET AND DID THE BRUSH PAST. AAAAAAAAAAA. It's crack for me. They didn't even look at each other!

-

Oh my gosh, she wants to got to Europe too. Just like Raj 🥹.

-

DAMN IT RAJ COMING IN WITH THE MIGRAINE ASPRIN BULLSHITTERY. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. Beat him with the umbrella. Yell at him.

AND HE TOOK THE BEER ANYWAY? Oh my gosh, I hate him.

The daughters dancing with the mother reminds me of my own family. We did this often at home. Music and liveliness lives in my heart.

And angry dad. Yes dad. Justified dad. I'm on his side.

-

"When a daughter grows up, her father's shoulders start to droop. But with a daughter like you, my shoulders do not droop but my chest swells with pride." - your honour, I love Simran's dad.

-

AND HE HEARD HER PLEA AND LET HER GO TO EUROPE?!

Is this a romance, or we all out here simping for dad?

-

ANOTHER TIME THEY MEET!!!!! AAAAAAAAA.

A N D - T H E Y - H O L D - H A N D S

Raj is a cheeky lad. I am not fond of him so far. I hope he improves for Simran's sake. The constant attempt to snuggle and flirt with her is driving me insane.

-

Oh my gosh, she hates him. I love this. It's ticking my enemies to lovers box big time. Oooooooh and they're both going to the Paris Opera. And they hate it. This is funny.

Okay, I love Rocky.

HE USED THE SAME LINE ON THE FRIEND THAT HE DID ON HER. WHAT AN ASS-HAT. I HATE HIM.

-

Yes baby girl, get your revenge on him my darling. Publically humiliate him by making him live up to his lies.

WHAT THE FUCK RAJ. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO THAT PIANO?!

The Simran slow clap. An icon.

OH SHIT HE CAN ACTUALLY PLAY. Fuck him. I hate him. Damn it. Cocky arrogant prick.

-

The iconic music scene. I still hate him, but he is so playful.

C'mon Simran, you can do better. (I can tangibly feel her tension and hatred rolling off her in waves). I also love her teal dress. I want one. Oh my gosh, her friend agitates me.

-

The flower humiliation trick. I hate him.

AND NOW THEY'RE STUCK TOGETHER. THEY MISSED THE TRAIN. She's crying, you asshole. She hates you.

All this needs is a one bed trope.

-

Okay, the "passport car rental police interruption" was kind of cute. I half-expected him to accelerate as soon as she reached the passenger door.

OH MY GOSH AND THEN THE CAR FAILS.

-

I CALLED IT. I CALLED IT. I CALLED IT.

Say it with me everyone:

One

Bed

Trope

-

And she's staying in the barn. AND HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO STAY IN THERE TOO INSTEAD OF THE ONE BED. DAMN IT RAJ.

And then it's snowing. It's snowing. And they're too cold. And there's cognac. WHY DON'T THEY GO INTO THE BEDROOM. THEY'RE SO STUBBORN.

And she got to the cognac. She's a woman after my own heart. I adore her.

-

SHE IS NOW AN INSANE DRUNK. She is feral, she is unhinged, she is about to break a window with a rock to get a pretty dress. They are singing, they are dancing, they are in love.

Shit.

-

He had gone too far with a joke, she is crying, oh shit. He's sincere, confessing his love for her after being an absolute scoundrel. The gentle thumb caress on the hair. THE CUDDLE. "Don't joke like that ever again," "I'm sorry," -> romance.

-

Okay. He has the same dream as her to fall in love. The call back to the original song. AAAAAAAA.

He's starting to catch feelings, I can tell. She's absolutely not yet though.

-

The admission of love with the sincerity before the "pfffft, I'm joking. I'm a silly joker, aren't I" RAJ YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. She likes him, he likes her. Damn it.

"What if we fell in love, Simran? What then? 🤌"

"..."

GOODBYE MY GUY.

-

"No I won't come to your wedding," he says with tears pooling in his eyes and glazing over with unconfessed desires and bitter melancholy.

He is so in love. He is so in love with Simran.

He is fantasizing about her. He can't help it.

Poor Simran thinks he hates her

HOLD UP SHE'S SEEING HIM TOO.

-

DAD IS A N G R Y

Her confession is literally everything.

He's an angry dad. "We're leaving for India tomorrow for good." A sealed fate. Oh my gosh, this movie literally has every trope.

C'mon interrupted wedding. You can do it, interrupted wedding.

OR A PLANE TRIP. I'd take a plane trip.

-

HE SHOWED UP AT THE HOUSE AND HE WAS TOO LATE. Oh my gosh, I love it. He's so in love with her.

And now they're in India and dad thinks he's won. The parents are so happy. They are all teary, I am all teary. We are all crying. Everyone is crying.

"I have held these tears back for 20 years," grandmama, I love you. You beautiful woman.

-

Oh, the beau is a WANKER.

Okay, I'm rooting for you Raj. You can do it. Come get your lady. Simran deserves happiness with you.

I hate the beau. I can't. The dialogue and asshollery with the baby sister. Nooooooo. No, honey, no!

Side note: I am in love with the outfits here.

-

HE'S IN INDIA. THE COWBELL RETURNS.

That field looks ripe for the running. You better run, girly.

SHE RUNNING. SHE RUNNING TO HER MAN!!! AAAAAAA. Their love is so tangible. I love it.

Those contrasting colours are spectacular.

-

"I didn't come here to run away with you... I came here to make you my bride." OKAY RAJ, I SEE YOU. YOU HAVE WEASELED YOUR WAY INTO MY HEART. DAMN IT.

He's if Buggy the Clown, Usopp, and Sanji combined into one beautiful man. He's so in love.

-

RAJ, WHAT THE HELL MY GUY?! You were doing so well, and then you prank the fiance??!! What the hell??!!!

-

Oh NO. PREETI LIKES RAJ. NOOOOOOOO. The beau's sister likes Raj. Raj likes Simran. Simran needs to marry her beau. ITS GLORIOUS.

-

Dad recognises Raj. Ohhhhh nooooooo. Noooooooooooo. Oh no, how horrible. How beautiful.

I do not enjoy the fiance. I am glad I was swayed by the rascal, Raj.

-

He's wooing all of the women in Simran's family. I love him so much. He is absolutely unhinged. He is trying so hard with dad, and it's just not happening for him.

This movie is amazing, I can't even.

OOOOOOOOOH NOW WE'RE BACK WITH THE FORESHADOWING WITH THE BIRDS.

AND RAJ IS DOING IT TOO.

-

A STOLEN ALMOST KISS.

Oh my gosh, ♡♡ Anon. I don't know why I didn't watch this sooner. You should've been yelling at me way earlier.

Raj is trying so hard to win over dad, and it's just not happening 😭.

-

"No idiot can give you a ring and take you away from me." -> be still my frozen heart.

And the little peck on the cheek 😭😭.

"I really don't like Kuljit... But I do like the man on the roof." SHE SAW THEM. LITTLE SIS SAW THEM TOGETHER. AAAAAAAAAAA.

-

Simran you little shit, coming in hot with the bandage trick to avoid wearing Kuljit's ring.

Oh my gosh, Raj is singing to her again. WHY AM I SO IN LOVE WITH THIS??

-

THE SCREAM.

The SCREAM I LET OUT WHEN DAD STARTED SINGING TO HIS LADY. THE GASP I GUSPED. THE SHRIEK I SHRUCK.

Oh my gosh, dad being playful. I am in love with Simran's dad. Also, Simran is gorgeous, j don't think I've said that so far.

-

RAJ NOOOOOOOO.

How's he gonna get out of this one?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T INVITE YOUR DAD TOO.

-

....do I have a thing for Raj's dad too.

What is wrong with me? Why am I like this?

AND WHEN HE BUMPED INTO AUNTY. AAAAAAA. MY HEART SCREAMED.

-

The blessing from Raj's dad. The silence that held all meaning. My gosh. I am obsessed.

-

Okay, the way I am going to incorporate some of these elements into Crocodaddy's Sapsorrow fic... The stubbornness particularly.

-

NO MAMA NO

-

YES MAMA YES

-

Oh my gosh, you asshole Kuljit!!! I hate you. He's fully intent on cheating, isn't he? What a dishonest prick.

NOT GRANDMAMA

-

Oh my gosh, how are they going to get through this? How are they going to get together? I'm literally screaming.

-

YES GO OFF DAD

-

Oh my gosh.

This movie.

This movie.

This damn movie.

Oh the confession, the fighting, the violence, the forbodence.

JUST AAAAAAAAAAAA

-

"Let me go to my Raj"

"Go Simran. Noone could ever love you more than this boy. Go to your Raj."

C'MON MAN. C'MON.

[venisonsteak403]

Alastor, Walking into the hotel: He-

The Residents+Lucifer: *Stare at him*

Alastor: -llo, What is going on here?

Charlie: Al...this is an intervention

Alastor: What for?

Charlie: Your- How can I say this-

Angel: Your ugly ass hair

Vaggie: It's been bothering us

Alastor: It's none of your business-

Vaggie: it's an affront against nature

Husk: Hold him!

Alastor: Wait a second-

The Staff: *restrains him*

Alastor: Help!

Charlie: I'm sorry Al

Lucifer: I'm not.

Alastor: NOOOOOOOOO

A few minutes later

Charlie: it doesn't look that bad

Angel: are you fucking kidding? He looks hideous!

Niffty: *gives him little rat fur hat*

Alastor: oh thank you niffty, This is really beautiful

Niffty: *Happy gremlin noises*

Lucifer: Oh my Me! He's bald! *laughter*

Alastor: *inhale* Three

Lucifer: Three what?

Alastor: Two

Lucifer: You know what? I don't wanna find out *disapears*

Charlie: Not again

Husk: wait a minute where is the hair we cut?

Meanwhile, the Vees:

Velvette: Vox...where did you get that?

Vox, cuddling an alastor dummy with real hair and weird White stains on it: Get what?

Velvette: Nevermind

[new-berry]

No no no no no no no nooooooooo. I thought I was EDITING this! There is a whole bit in the middle which is quite literally XXXXX THE THREESOME CONVERSARIONXXX

My editors hat did notice that spelling mistake. Fuck me I thought it was done. Past me was a lazy mare :(

I swear to Beyoncé , it might be “we are adults we can make this work…”then… athletic rich people sex.

Have some fanfic I found in the wild.

They seem to have a fairly respectful understanding they have to work together and are trying to find middle ground amongst press histrionics so tension is an overshoot.

(Having said that if there is real and not press tension this is staring to be an Eddie problem cause he got Dan Ashworth shit canned)

[reflection-s-of-stars]

[image ID gnome with eyes obscured by hat long beard and robe, flipping the camera off and smoking a blunt] Hahahahahahahhaha get fucking gnomes you fucking idiot hahahahahaha

NOOOOOOOOO

[arcplaysgames]

Ah, so Persona goes for the great white nothingness sort of afterlife rather than the deep dark void afterlife.

Margaret arrives to tell Reverie to stop being a lazy piece of shit and to listen to his friends to remember how to fight. It's basically Reverie Vs The Nyx Egg all over again. I wonder if he has a sense of deja vu here...

Mmhm, eyes getting itchy.

CRITICAL HIT. Oh my god Chie's VA is so fucking good. I'm clearing my throat.

OOP THAT'S IT I'M FUCKED. I'm crying. His voice is so fucking soft and entreating, I'm a goner. Between Kanji and Chie, I was def crying.

BRUH I didn't expect NAOTO to get me.

.... ADACHI?!

YOU KNOW WHAT ADACHI

YOU CAN HAVE THAT ONE, I WILL ALLOW IT. You're great, Adachi, it's been an honor, man.

OH NOOOOOOOOO don't do me like this

Anyway this bit is great. Nothing will hit like Shinjiro's unsubtitled call to action in P3P Reverie's ear but this is good shit regardless.

And lemme guess, they are the Universe Arcana.

That circle sword is cool as hell.

OKAY SO SIDEBAR

This fucking battle needs some fucking Hopes And Dreams-level shit. I'm sorry but to put on my FULLY NEGATIVE HAT FOR A SEC, this entire sequence would land 10000% better if the music was good. But I literally didn't even notice the music the entire time? I think it's on a very very long loop so there's some fun brassy horns but you gotta wait like two minutes for them to come in.

I've talked shit about the music in P4G before because truly P3P's OST fucked, but also THIS SEQUENCE SUFFERS A LOT FOR HAVING MEDIOCRE MUSIC.

I hope someone eventually mods it to have a fucking banger or two.

This part is pretty fucking great. Big fan.

Yaaaaaaaay.

I guess what I'm curious about is was this boss in the original version..... but wait, yeah, she has to be to explain everything.

Now that I've seen the whole sequence, I'm gonna be a negative nancy for a moment.

This whole ending is, uh, weird? It feels weird. Like, I almost think I prefer the ending with Ameno-Sagiri to this one because it felt more impactful after fighting Adachi. It feels like the game keeps answering the same questions over and over since then. I appreciate getting a final answer on why the three folks had Persona/TV powers, but also... It feels like....

The gas attendant did it! Gasp!

Also, like with Marie, there was this inorganic element to her whole plotline. But in the end, I kind of liked that!

But with Izanami, it feels tacked on in the same way but without the justification. The answer to the mystery is very "oh." Rather than "OOOOOOH" which we all know Persona can do.

Also, the entire plotline with Izanami literally only makes sense if you listened to Edogawa's lecture some 40 hours ago! And it's NEVER hinted anywhere else!

I think that's what I'm chafing against. Having the history explained in a lecture is totally fine. but when I got that lecture, I was like "ha i bet this is important!" and then I completely forgot that lecture because no one fucking brings it up again!

I am frustrated because I feel like this game does know what the fuck foreshadowing and story structure are, but it totally dropped the ball. It's to a point I wonder if like... something was lost in translation? Is something missing here?

Eh. JUST ANOTHER REASON PERSONA 3 PORTABLE IS BETTER.

Lets tackle the ending.

[aceofmuses89]

So, uh.

Yoshi, i'm sorry, but the guy that was fulfilling your order.

He somehow confused the P in PEZ dispenser with an F, so uhm.

In stead of little candies, you have a bunch of hats instead.

"My order finally came in full of PEZ dispensers cause why the hell wouldn't I order a bunch of them?!"

"What the fuck are these? Who in gods name gave me a bunch of fezs...fezie's? fezi..., and why...why...are they so beautiful?!"

"Everyone, come get a fez!! There are so many different types!"

"Brief, you get the pirate Fez!! Here you go, you swashbuckler~!"

"Uh, okay, thanks? Arrr?"

"Stocking, you get this constipated looking kitty Fez!! Isn't it cute?"

"I hate being here so much..."

"Marin! You get the one that totally isn't cursed or going to end up killing you while you sleep!"

"Wait, what did you just say, Yoshi?"

"What about my Fez?! You haven't even put me on the muse list yet!!"

"Kaito...please shut the hell up and go back to the basement until you are told to come upstairs..."

"Please! I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK DOWN THERE....NOOOOOOOOO!"

[chameleon-on-lsd]

SOKO Leipzig S23E25 liveblogging

Ménage-à-trois

couldn't find episode 24 die beiden <3 schön wie moritz einfach mal entscheidet dass das baby bei ihnen bleibt xD wie fixiert moritz auf die kleine ist <3333 'mit nem bekannten' is klar johannes hat selber kind(er), oder? merkt man ;-; aaaah ;-; wie er die kleine hält und dann den kopf küsst und seine wange anscchmiegt <33 'dieser kleinen süssen speckmade' XDD asdkjsadlkajsdlks im fucking tanktop so aufem bed daskladsökölas AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA sein süsses lächeln ;-; sorry aber die szene ist so niedlich mit denen danke für die nahaufnahme von moritz augen <3 salkdjsakldjakl gott die beiden 'vor den augen ihres kindes' ja okay moritz, die kleine wird sich nicht an das erinnern und er hat zum ersten mal was an, das mir nicht gefällt an ihm xD das hellgelbe shirt ist..naja '[baby] liegt in der ausnüchterungszelle und schläft' 'den rausch aus?' xDD warUM RETTIG xDDD der arme :') dsjlaskdjlajk 'ina er war mehr für mich als nur ein guter freund' rettig mit dem baby ;-; 'hallo' xD 'er kommt gleich wieder' XDD und wie moritz dem baby die zunge rausstreckt ;-; gott moritz <33 aww süss die überwachung mit dem airpods sharing mitm boot wegrennen ist so geil XDDD moritz bby. wie er auf ihn sitzt xD (hat er ihm 'mo' gesagt oder war das auch ein 'wo'?) und wieder ein mal ein typ mit schönen grünen augen und nem grünen shirt aber der typ ist echt dumm xDD oder 'naiv' so wie moritz sagt aaaaa wie rettig ihr hinterherwinkt die grauen haare <333 ....moritz hat schon asservaten geklaut NOOO MORITZ NOOOOOOOOO nur weil dus schon mal gemacht hast ;-; baby boy, you're better than that MORITZ!!! <3 smart boy macht halt n fucking vaterschaftstest xDD awww er sagt wirklich Mo bby ;-;

so und die ganze restliche staffel 23 konnte ich auch nicht finden...

[7amonathursdayinoctober]

"We have a problem"

YEA NO SHIT Micheal is putting Dean in dumb hats!!!! This is disrespect to all of fashion!!!! It would be fine if you took the damn hat off but nooooooooo. This is a DISGRACE to Dean Winchester fuck you

[gingernut1314]

EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEE

I am NOT normal about this series like

I'm SCREAMINGGGGG

Okay okay okay

First off I love that reader stole Zoro's clothes that's too funny but then THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE BUGGY AHHHHHHH

His shoulders are just---YUM and his eyes EXTRA YUM

“Wouldn’t you like to know, circus boy,” you scoffed. Having made quick work of your feet, you were now on to massaging the creamy lotion into the meat of your calf. 

“That’s not one of the things you’re allowed to call me,” he said, lip curling. “Closest you can get is ‘ringmaster’.” He paused then added as an afterthought, “You could always just keep it to ‘master’ too.”

Of course, this whole little section is too funny and so good cause you can tell Buggy gets actually a little annoyed BUT he's quick with the "heh heh call me master" which is too funny

"You had decided that he yearned for touch but not your touch."

NOOOOOOOOO baby NOOOOO he wants you to touch him, feelings are just hardddddddd

And girly I love how you described every one of the Straw Hats with different type of physical touch like its peak and so correct. I loved comparing Nami to a cat cause yes omg yes

Also I just LOVE how you add in Buggy's powers more! Like when he was in a rush to say yes to reader putting lotion on him and his body popped apart as he spun around. I don't see that offend and I really like it a lot cause it really is something we see buggy do in the anime and so yes that's him such a good detail you added!!

I've told you before and I'll tell you again now I EAT UP the part where reader says his name wrong just to keep teasing/flirting with him but Buggy can only take so much and kinda flips out cause he feels like maybe reader is now making fun of him. I really enjoy that part cause I feel like it's so Buggy! He's not very secure in himself like he plays it up but we all know he isn't and things like that, especially in a situation where neither of them knows what is going on between the two of them, it can pop up and burst out more often so I really enjoyed that!! And then the whole section after that where they both are like damn I messed up and Buggy smoothing down readers shirt like good stuff good stuff

“Well I am a natural bluenette,”

PFFFFTTTTTTTTT GIRL IM CACKLING

I also love how touch-starved you made Buggy cause omg he isss and I like how he's fighting to make sure reader stays touching him like when reader goes to sit in him and he's just so flustered but like--wait stay I need you to stay like AHHHHHH love

I NEED THIS MAN NEEDY AND MOANY AND JUST FALLING APART AND MA'AM YOU DID JUST THAT AND I AM SCREAMING AND GIGGLING AND EHEHEHEHEEHEHEHE

“Splitting up can make me sore and fuck with my nerves. Leaves my muscles feeling-” he paused to grunt with relief when you broke up a knot that had tucked itself next to his shoulder blade “-heavy. Puts pin pricks on my skin like it's numb too if I’m broken up a long time.”

Ummmm--yes!! This is such an interesting take on the whole splitting up cause yeah--does it make him uncomfortable?? Can it hurt?? Does sit make his body feel numb??? Like this is a wonderful take bravo 👏👏

I am DYING over the fact he fell asleep so funny but like so real like I would be fighting off sleep if I got a message like that omg and Buggy being like--noooo about hour fifteen plzzz yesss same same very relatable very buggy very nice

YESSSSSS SMACK THAT CLOWNS ASSS HE LIKES IT YESSSS

EHEHHEHEHEGHAHJDGJHWGEHEEEHHAG PLEASE SPOON THE CLOWN HE WANTS TO BE LITTLE SPOON SO BAD OMG PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

FANTASTIC

LIKE

IM SO SO IN AWE OF THIS PART AND THIS SERIES

You did such a wonderful job on this and just an amazing job characterizing buggy and just--all around chefs kiss like perfection 🤌🤌

Sending lots of love and smooches your way girly 😘😘

Tender Love and Care - Massage 2/3 (Buggy x Reader)

Art by Capitanpoops!

A/N: May this be yet another testament to my addiction to both the clown and pining 🙏🏻 It's definitely time for the titular massage, don't you think? Buggy could really use it. Also a perfect way to be helpful and feel him up at the same time fdsfkdjflks Don't worry - he's looking at it as an excuse to be felt up so it's a perfect match. Theres a bit of a headcanon about the effects of extended use of his fruit in this one.

If you catch the meme reference hidden in this installment I love you lol

Word count: ~6.6k

Warnings: afab!reader (no pronouns), suggestive themes but nothing nsfw, humor, weapons grade pining, idiots in love, a little more of Buggy being a prickly bitch, also more of him being touch-starved and desperate for affection, this time the reader has some time in a fantasy world too, you maybe probably also give him a slap on the ass (he deserved it)

<-Prev Next(coming up!)->

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

On the other side of the door, you frowned and hesitated. His voice sounded tired and grumpy. Had you taken too long and robbed him of time he’d rather be sleeping? Had he actually been upset that you had ordered him to bathe instead of asking? Had something come up in the time you’d been gone? Only one way to find out.

You had to stop and stare at Buggy once you were in the room. He looked gorgeous. You already knew he was hot but this was a different type of attractive. Even though the loose clothing you’d stolen for him (sorry Zoro) was casual sleepwear, the way it draped brought out the places where he was bulked up. Each lax section of soft cloth juxtaposed beautifully with the spots where muscle pushed against fabric. Shoulders, chest, and thighs stood out to you most, calling to you with the request to treat them as overstuffed pillows pressing at their cases. You admired him as your eyes made their way back up to his face. His hair was pulled back in a large messy bun that looked so, so soft and left his face completely unobscured. The refresh on makeup was skillfully executed and brought out all his features in a way that had your mouth run dry. The tempting lines of his lips stood out behind vibrant red. His brow and cheekbones were highlighted by slashes of blue. His sea-glass eyes looked all the brighter set against a rim of dark lashes and smudges. You were probably staring too long, but it was too difficult to look away.

Buggy didn’t mind. He can’t remember someone looking at him with awe this way before. It was the best balm he could've asked for to cover his freshly agitated self-loathing. He almost couldn’t believe that his efforts on his appearance had worked out so well. Feeling high off of his success, he couldn’t resist taking some time to gloat.

“Need help picking your jaw off the floor, sweetcheeks?” he teased. His teeth bared in a wide smile, splitting his face and narrowing his eyes. His canines shined white against the dark of his lips.

One hand flew over to you and held your chin. Buggy placed the pad of his thumb against your bottom lip, before rubbing the whole length of it down. Enraptured by the sight of your lip being pulled, Buggy stared and swallowed hard. His breath shook lightly, just like the breath he felt puff out against his hand. He let your lip flick back up before pressing his hand up to guide your gently parted mouth closed.

Feeling unsure of where things would go next, you cleared your throat and turned away. Maybe something routine would settle your nerves. Lotion. Yeah, that would work. The movements would be calming and it would let you stay in your own physical space until you were less flustered. Maybe it would even give you some time to cook up some vengeance and get the upper hand on the clown again.

Buggy was still taking up the chair at the desk, and you weren’t ready to breach the border of the bed yet. Luckily, there was a large pouf you could sit on and continue avoiding things. You tried not to let Buggy’s gleeful giggling at your expense goad you into saying something stupid to shut him up. Instead, you focused your attention on the calming smell of your lotion as you opened the tub. Delicate scents of amber, wood, and lavender greeted you and the pavlovian training from a long history of hard days smoothed out to this smell made you instantly loosen and breathe deeper.

“Were you a perfumier pre-pirate or something?” Buggy asked. He had made himself sound condescending, but you caught the interest in the way he looked over at you. 

You had noticed before how very unsubtly he had taken to your care products anyway. You had caught him sniffing at his own hair more than once since you’d washed it. If there was an occasion with an excuse for him to be close, his face tended to gravitate around your shoulders and head and you could’ve sworn he’d deepen his breath. It skirted the perfect line between sweet and pathetic for you to let it continue. Some part of you wondered if you would find it creepy from someone else, but a much larger part of you didn’t care.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, circus boy,” you scoffed. Having made quick work of your feet, you were now on to massaging the creamy lotion into the meat of your calf. 

“That’s not one of the things you’re allowed to call me,” he said, lip curling. “Closest you can get is ‘ringmaster’.” He paused then added as an afterthought, “You could always just keep it to ‘master’ too.”

“You wish,” you laughed out. You had switched to your other calf, the one closer to Buggy, and bent your leg towards yourself this time, tired of bending forward. Buggy’s rebuttal died on his lips as he watched your movements, especially the way it made your sleep shorts ride up. He didn’t know if he wanted to know how your hands felt, digging long stripes across skin and muscle, or how it felt to replace your hands with his, molding and admiring your body. His indecision only grew as you moved up to your thigh.

Noticing the long silence, you looked up at Buggy to see what had him distracted. His gaze was glued to your hands. To make sure that he was watching and not staring into the abyss, you leisurely slid your hands all the way back down to your ankle. His eyes intently followed the whole process. Definitely watching. Huh.

Going to the other thigh, you tried to decide how to react to that. Sure, he’s been flirty and so have you, but he’s also missed too many offers for closeness for you to think there was more to it. He’d shy from your hands more often than he would seek them and he tended to make himself scarce soon after your personal spaces mingled. That’s one of the things that tipped you off that he liked your shampoo and not you; it was the only time he would truly linger. You had decided that he yearned for touch but not your touch.

The thought had little pangs going through you, causing you to slow and slump. You looked back up at him and saw the longing in his eyes before he covered it up by screwing up his face and sticking his tongue out at you. What a fucking child. He’s perfect.

So, you treated that longing as what you thought it was: pure touch-starvation. You’ve been there and knew that pain. Honestly, you fell into it pretty quickly. Recently that was exacerbated by leaving Luffy’s crew, who would keep you sated on that front. Well… mostly Luffy, but Usopp was a hugger and Sanji would never be upset with contact. Nami would sometimes tolerate it, giving you the energy of a standoffish cat beginning to accept your presence. The most you broke out of Zoro were playful shoulder bumps and other such affectionate roughness. Reminiscing aside, you didn’t want Buggy to ache like that.

Gesturing towards Buggy with the lotion, you asked, “I’m guessing you didn’t use any yet?”

“Why would I? I don’t need it,” he responded, furrowing his brows.

“Well you won’t die without it I’ll give you that,” you started, “but it makes your skin soft and smells good.” You were surprised to see him take a moment to think over your offer so quickly. His eyes lingered on your legs again, and you worked to tamp down the hopes for affection it brought up in you.

“Looks like too much work,” Buggy dismissed, getting up and making for the bed.

“I’ll do it for you,” you pressed, falling victim to your own yearning for contact.

Buggy froze completely, even halting his breath, repeating the sounds of your voice in his mind to make sure they actually made those words. No way. Yeah, you did that lovely hair wash and seemed soft on him, but he figured that was mostly from pity for how helpless and bedraggled he was as a head. There’s no way you’re here just handing out a massage. “Care to repeat that, dollface?”

“I’ll do the lotioning for you, like, give you a massage,” you explained. The fact that he still hasn’t moved was making you nervous. It was a good thing you couldn’t see the wide-eyed look of startled prey frozen on his face. “If you don’t want me to that’s fi-”

“No!” Buggy yelped. Head and torso spun around, lifting off his lower body in his haste to face you. His lower body caught up and he popped back down onto his waist, causing his clothes to flutter. “I mean, uhhh-” he cleared his throat “I don’t mind. It’ll be a nice service for your Captain.” By the end of that, he at least started to sound smug and teasing again. There was no saving it, but you were gracious enough to let the fumbles pass this time. It helped that his eagerness was flattering.

“Sure thing, Cap,” you said, messing up the title to keep at least a small level of disrespect to rub at him. He was too fun to bait.

“It’s Captain. Captain Buggy, actually,” he told you. He backed up and sat on the edge of the bed to watch your approach. “It’s easy - Cap-tain Bu-ggy.” 

You huffed good-naturedly at him talking to you like you were a child, split syllables and all. Might as well continue toying with him.

“Cap-” you kneeled down between his legs “-tain” you had a hand at each of his ankles “Boo-” his left pant leg was pushed above his knee “-gie!” and the right one follows.

“You are such a brat,” he chastised, trying to sound stern and pissed off, but he was too distracted by the way the mischievous glint in your eye had his heart pounding. He had no clue what you were planning, but he was sure he would hate and love it. “Say it right.”

“Or what?” you snorted dismissively, rolling your eyes and trailing light fingertips down his shins. Unfortunately, that was a step too far; something in him felt you saw him as a foolish boy in that moment, making him lash out.

Your cheer fell the moment his hand fisted the front of your shirt. His grip tugged you in and his face got as close as possible without breaching to touch you. For a fraction of a second, it didn’t matter how pretty those eyes were; all you could see of them was anger. 

“Sorry, Captain Buggy,” you mumbled quickly. For a tense few breaths, his wild eyes peeled yours apart. You let him, wanting to show compliance and that you had nothing to hide. You got to watch first-hand how the fight left him in his relaxing brow, drooping shoulders, and slipping grip. Those fiery eyes lost their burn and his look closed off into something you couldn’t understand.

“Whatever. Just don’t do it again,” he grumbled. Sometime when the two of you had more practice opening to each other, you needed to ask him precisely what ‘it’ was. For now, you would file this away to await that day.

“I won’t,” you promised, truly meaning it. It wasn’t due to the threat but because you hated when he was upset. You started to get in your own head; somehow it seemed each time you moved to get close to him that you would upset him. The night that you two shared a hammock had ended up lovely, but you couldn’t help but worry that you were crossing boundaries he had tried to express to you through these turns of temper.

Buggy noticed how your hands at the lotion had become limp and hesitant. You didn’t want to touch him. But you offered! You can’t take it away from him now; he needs it. Hot shame broke across his skin at the realization that he had lashed out at you and made you nervous to touch him. You should never be scared of him and he resolved to stop giving you reason to be. You should look at him and see a reliable Captain, a brave protector. A lifelong lover. The ache was back and more pungent than ever.

You were still stalling, tracing nonsense into the lotion and shifting on your knees, when the hand that had been loosely holding your shirt instead smoothed it out and Buggy’s other hand grabbed your own and placed it against his calf. The hand at your chest rubbed soothing swipes back and forth beneath your collarbone, easing the creases he’d made out of the fabric of your top. You began to mimic this motion on the side of Buggy’s leg. Before you started to commit to your task, you looked up to meet Buggy’s eyes. He wouldn’t say the words, but his eyes were glassy and pleading for forgiveness. While words were nice, you could feel how genuine the apology was through his caring and nervous touch, and for now that was enough for you.

A tentative smile eased onto your lips and Buggy felt some of the pressure in his throat and chest loosen its grip. Your other hand joined the first in kneading his muscles and his lungs were freed enough to stretch full again.

He watched you intently while you set about lotioning his legs. The task helped you ease back up and you quickly took to enjoying it; touching Buggy always had your heart fluttering. You felt like you were edging on something unknown and unexplored and exciting. You had gained quite the affection for this temperamental and wounded man. You wanted desperately to be the one to soothe and comfort him and make it so more of that goofy and loving side of him could flourish. The goofiness has come out quite easily but he holds his love very close to his chest. You imagine that is the place that has been the most damaged with how he guards it. His pride also seems to be held quite close for fear of injury.

Buggy hummed out relief as you pressed more firmly into his calf. It gave you more confidence in your touch to know that you were making him feel good. Working thumbs down next to his shin, you marveled at the fact that even the soft hairs there were blue. You found it fitting that so much blue was wrapped into his looks: blue like the sea that promised the freedom that he endlessly chased, blue like the sky that has been his roof since boyhood, blue like the melancholy that steeped into his being. Red fit him too - his nose, his lips, his passion, his rage - but the blue seemed to run deeper.

Tending to the second leg, you broke yourself from your reverie to check in on Buggy. He was looking down at you, but you could tell from the glaze in his eyes that he wasn’t actually seeing you. Wherever he was in his head, you hoped that it was kind. 

You’d happily take advantage of his zoning out to stare at that pretty face for a while. The makeup highlighting his features looked extra meticulous, not a single wobble in the diamonds over his eyes. The color he put on tonight was richer by his lips and eyes than you’d ever seen it. Dark smudges fit him so nicely; they made his eyes more entrancing and the sea-green of his irises stand out. You trailed your gaze down to admire the other feature he’d emphasized; his lips. The bright crimson of his painted smile bled into a hypnotizing deep carmine right where you would kiss. Your new favorite color was interrupted by a flash of pink - a nervous tongue flicking to wet his lips over makeup - and you looked up.

Buggy’s eyes have managed to darken even more with his blown pupils. There was a questioning furrow to his brow but no apprehension to match it. His posture seemed a lot more leisurely than the hard set of his shoulders you had seen after his outburst. It made you smile brightly up at him, pleased that you were making him feel better. His eyes shot away from you, and you could’ve sworn you saw a flush peeking out on his cheeks. You placed a hand on each of his knees, giving them a playful squeeze.

“Wearing anything under these?” you asked, tugging at the pant legs shoved up on his thighs. Buggy took a second to choke on his surprise. He recovered quickly.

“No, but don’t let that stop you,” he teased. Ah, there’s that cheesy wink, tongue click and all. What a man. It was even better knowing that he’d shy away the moment your fingers touched his waistband. You eyed that waistband longingly for a moment before deciding to keep things away from your other massage talents.

“Captain!” you gasped in mock offense. “You’d offer such a thing to a pure maiden like me?”

“Pure maiden?” he laughed out, much too amused at the idea. “Oh, sure, the same pure maiden who offered a ‘tasting’ to that pretty boy chef?”

Despite laughing with him, you still gave his thigh a little smack for the jab.

“He was the one who responded to a compliment of his palette with ‘thank you, love, my tongue is well trained’!” you defended, making sure to put on a terrible impression when quoting Sanji. “What was I supposed to do? Not flirt back?”

“Do you always just flirt black?” Buggy’s eyes and tone turned more intense but not angry. You were happy to see that nothing harsh spilled into his expression with that focus.

“Only if I enjoy a person,” you responded evenly, a bit apprehensive of where he could be leading this. “I don’t play to anyone I don’t like.”

A pleased grin slowly split his face and you focused in on his shining teeth framed in blood red lips.  His words came out light and airy in a way that made you suspect a trap beneath their veneer when he asked, “Then tell me, little tease, do you like me?”

Buggy’s sudden confidence quickly had yours faltering. It felt the same as when someone toys with you because they know something you don’t. He had to have something up his sleeve to set you up like that. Sure, he had a moment earlier when he noticed your gawking, but this can’t be the same Buggy that tripped on his own feet when you offered to learn burlesque for his show. You decided to play it safe.

“Of course. I chose you as my Captain, right?” Agree but deflect - perfect.

Buggy wanted to be frustrated at your answer. Actually, some piece of him was - he was sure you knew that’s not what he was getting at - but he was also happy. You did choose him. You chose to run away with him, a pirate you barely knew, not to mention that that short time was always spent with one of you as the other’s hostage. He’d question your judgment if it weren’t benefitting him so much. Even if it wasn’t what he wanted (‘yet’ he hoped), you liked him enough to completely change the trajectory of your life path to run parallel with his. That counted for something. A lot of something. 

The affection that started to blend into Buggy’s eyes had your heart stuttering. You couldn’t look away even when he gently placed a hand atop your head then petted it slowly back and down so that he held the back of your head.

“Right,” he responded quietly. He gave two gentle scratches to the base of your skull before leaning away from you. The distance helped break you from the spell his gaze had you under. He huffed out a breath then asked, “So, what’s next?”

“I can do your back?” Yeah that should help; it would keep those pretty eyes from making you want to bare your soul. It seemed to be their mission tonight to do so by force or by favor and you were not ready for him to find the immense (and still somehow growing) affection for him there. You weren’t ready for the rejection you expected. You don’t think he would reject a more active night sharing a bed but you were certain he would reject the pursuit of love and that’s what would actually hurt. And besides, it would give him way too big of a head and the teasing would become unbearably annoying.

Oh, wow, when did he take his shirt off? Were you really zoned out thinking for more than a few seconds? And how come this man makes chest hair look so damn good? You wanted to feel that dark blue under your fingers and the pecs decorated with it as well. His shirt did him justice but he looks just as good, if not better, without it. Those pecs flexed a few times, letting you know he caught on to your staring again. 

“You’re really distracted today,” Buggy said through a smile, looking all too wolfish for your liking at the moment.

“What can I say, I love blue and you’re just lucky to be covered in it.”

“Well I am a natural bluenette,” Buggy said with that stupid, wonderful, self-satisfied glint in his eye he got every time he tried out one of his tenuous puns. 

“You are the worst,” you laughed. The corners of his cheeky smile pulled wider. “Here, let me set up for you.”

Buggy quirked a brow at you but said nothing as he watched you shuffle onto the bed. You grabbed the pillows from the head of the bed and laid them out in the middle. After making an upside down “T”, you took a moment to fluff them for maximum comfort. Luckily, the inn didn’t skimp out on pillow budget so you had a lot to work with. You finished by giving them an appeased nod then turned back to Buggy. With dramatic flair, you swept an arm through the air over your setup. 

“Your throne awaits,” you said. You patted the top pillow, “Chest here-” and the middle of the bottom one “-and hips here. Keep your head above the top one with your forehead on your arms so you don’t have to crank your neck the whole time.”

Buggy began moving to the center of the bed with a sarcastic “Yes, your highness” and turned to lay on his stomach. You took the opportunity to admire your beloved blue on his chest and happy trail. You scooted to sit on your knees right next to his side. Looking down at his back, you took in the muscles he had built there too. They made enticing lines across the expanse of soft skin and you were ever more eager to be able to have your hands on him. 

You leaned forward to begin a few awkward times before deciding you didn’t like the angle. It would be more comfortable with a straight shot, not to mention you’d be able to do a much better job for him. You wanted to impress him (hopefully enough to be able to do this again), so you pulled together the courage to throw a leg over him. You hovered for just a second, before lowering yourself to sit on his glutes. It ended up being a more cushioned seat than anticipated (good for him) so you felt comfortable relaxing more of your weight down on him. Buggy let out a nervous little giggle before he cleared his throat and shuffled beneath you.

“Is this okay?” you asked, frowning lightly.

“Yeah, fine,” Buggy responded, too quick and too high. You rolled your eyes at his convincing response and began to lift your weight back off of him. He threw his left hand back to sink his grip into your thigh and keep you from moving.

“I said it was fine,” Buggy repeated too firmly, causing you to sit back down incredulously.

It was most certainly not fine. Buggy didn’t think that something so simple would fluster him so much, but his touch-starved nerves were staging light shows under his skin and his mind was running wild. He had hoped that the start of the massage would have prepared him for further contact. Instead, his brain was drowning under a tide of happy chemicals at the feeling of your weight and warmth. Your soft thighs pressed gently into the skin of his sides and the heat exchanging between your bodies had him melting into the pillows. 

You snuggled your legs more comfortably into him, and the wonderful pressure of the act along with the weight of you on him had him feeling held for the first time in… how long? The night of his head cuddled into your chest was close (and quite precious to him), but it was different with his body involved - more overwhelming. His heart ached again as he was left to take in the images his brain conjured of the two of you wrapped in each other to start and end the days. The pain of it was more poignant with the realism your closeness allowed. Yep, he was not fine, but he was desperate to stay right where he was.

The nerves still persisted though. If the firm strokes of your fingers along his calves had him holding back pleased sighs, he was sure he’d have to bite his tongue to keep from moaning with your hands working his tense back loose. He was already kicking himself for the giggle and crackling voice. You must think he’s so pathetic; how could you admire him when he always crumbled around you?

“Seafaring has certainly done wonders for you,” you complimented while trailing fingertips across his shoulders. Buggy blinked and worried for a second that you could hear his downturning thoughts with how well-timed your compliments tended to be. Your fingers brushed down the length of his spine and the shiver it pulled out shook the worries from him. Tracing that path back up, you turned your hand over to tease him with the brush of your nails. Another tremble rewarded your efforts.

After spreading a generous amount of lotion on your hands, you rubbed the moisture into the lower half of his back to start. It was a bit cold for a moment before it warmed under your palms and warmed the air with more of that relaxing scent. The lavender and wood settled over Buggy’s senses and helped keep his breath deep and mind quiet. You took your time enjoying the feel of him as you molded his muscles under the base of your thumb, moving from spine to side then letting your fingers touch all the way back to the start. 

Buggy was split between turning liquid under your touch and tensing up to keep control of his composure, and the divide only worsened with each measured stroke across his skin. When he let himself lean towards relaxing, he felt a whine pressing out of his chest and tucked his head down to bite into the plush pillow to hold it back. He found that clenching his teeth into something helped ground all of his tension there and he began to let his muscles relax with your urging hands. Even still, he had to continue biting back pleased sounds for fear of your reaction. Unwilling to part with your touch, he bore the brunt of his insecurities. Long and slow breaths helped him keep his nerves and excitement back, and he found the payment of filing this into his memory well worth the risk of embarrassing himself.

Your own mind quieted as you subconsciously mimicked his deepening breaths and filled your mind with your senses instead of internal monologue. They led you to indulge as your eyes saw Buggy look like art under dim lamplight.  You felt his form shift and mix with your hands under you, you smelled your lotion mixing with the sweet haze around his hair and the barely there scent of his skin, and you heard the ambiance of slow breathing and skin brushing skin. You yearned to fill your last sense with Buggy too, pulling him in for a kiss to have him eased onto your tongue.

Meanwhile, Buggy had sunk enough into the moment to forget how to yearn. He was already getting more than he could’ve hoped for from you, and the satisfaction of getting your touch so directly, intentionally, and extendedly had him on cloud nine. His brain was turning gooey and it was distracting him from his aversion to making noise; his deep breaths shifted to take on the air of a sigh each time a new or particularly needy spot found itself under your loving hands. He’d wind his jaw back tight again each time that he heard the noise become too audible, but each time he had less and less resistance to give. The desperation to stay calm and collected was sinking beneath the desperation to fall under the spell of your care. With each moment under your comforting weight, radiant heat, enticing scent, and worshiping hands he knew he’d drown under that rising tide. The surrender was frightening, but the other side seemed so blissful.

When you circled your thumbs right above the dimples on his lower back and worked them deep into the muscles framing his spine, you pulled the first faint moan from him. It was cut short by a tense inhale but the shaky sound resonated long enough to spread goosebumps up the back of your neck. Waiting until he started to exhale, you kneaded your thumbs all the way up until you were palming his traps and another moan followed, low and long. Since he wasn’t able to hide the sound, you got to hear every needy tone wrapped up in the pressure of his voice. Pressing his forehead down further into his arms, Buggy stretched his shoulders wide and the base of his neck up to give you more to touch while also feeling more hidden. It had him looking like a sleepy cat leaning into petting.

“Feels good?” you asked, just barely above a whisper but tone still noticeably eager.

“So good,” Buggy mumbled, voice thick and rumbling from his chest. The stubborn tightness he’s been holding deep in his chest was finally leaving him. The freeing space quickly filled with a thrill he found unfamiliar; it wasn’t bubbling, flinging, or shocking through him but instead it sat sturdy within his ribs, spreading and dripping like molasses out through his body. To your surprise, Buggy gave you more of that enticing sleepy lilt. “Splitting up can make me sore and fuck with my nerves. Leaves my muscles feeling-” he paused to grunt with relief when you broke up a knot that had tucked itself next to his shoulder blade “-heavy. Puts pin pricks on my skin like it's numb too if I’m broken up a long time.” Your hands pushed out to hold the lats that lay thick over his ribs. After a moment of simply appreciating the waves of his breath under your palms, you continued your massage and earned another pleased groan from him, this one completely unrestrained. “It’s worst when my head’s off - makes my whole body ache.”

Buggy had been simply talking without thought, so when you stopped for a few long moments he had the time to let his mind catch up. Before he had enough time to regain any of his anxieties, you resumed your task.

“That sounds awful,” you mumbled sympathetically. 

He hummed in agreement, but was too soothed to let his mind actually linger on any of his hurts or complaints. Everything was simply gentle breathing and soft skin. 

That head fuzz kept him floating through the rest of your attention. In the future he’d be kicking himself for not intensely focusing on recording every second down in his memory. As he was now though, that languid semi-sleep suspended outside of time was his personal heaven. 

You retained more of your own focus, but being more alert than Buggy in that moment was an exceedingly low bar. It meant that you were just able to keep your task going and be conscious of your actions. Beyond that, your mind wandered far and wide through scenes both domestic and dramatic. The same Buggy who brushed fingertips across your cheek to wake you also professed his undying love at the threat of you heading back to your old crew. The Buggy who placed a peck with an obnoxious “mwah!” each time you passed each other while readying for the day also cried from fear and relief and clung to you after he swept you away from danger. Your Buggy shared the mundane quiet with you through squeezing hands, silly faces, and leaning weight. Your Buggy bared his teeth at those who wronged you and spilled you over his bed to salve the wounds with fervent devotion.

The Buggy under you let out a quiet snore and forced you to fully exist in reality.

You giggled fondly at the man below you, heart swelling at the thought of how much more comfortable and relaxed he became. 

“Mmn-why’d ya stop,” Buggy grumbled. His sleep-thick voice barely made it past the pillow.

“I figured you were gone to the world,” you responded, “and besides, I’ve been at this for… about an hour fifteen actually.”

“Another then.”

“Another what?”

“Hour fifteen.”

You snorted at his needy petulance. Give him just a bit of attention and he’s immediately spoiled rotten.

“Not even a thanks first for the time already given?” you teased.

“Thank you, my sweetest, most dearest crew member! Truly you are a gift to your captain and deserve accolades and promotion,” Buggy snarked in a dramatic cadence, sounding like a play lead professing his love.

The only promotion you saw happening was his promotion from spoiled rotten to Spoiled Rotten Brat. 

“What position will I be promoted to, my sweetest and most dearest Captain?” You mimicked him but packed much more sarcasm into the flattery. Getting up onto your knees, you eyed him up and down. You knew how you wanted to shut him up but felt like you shouldn’t.

“Why, just what the most essential and beloved member of my crew deserves!” Buggy was trying to sound dramatic, but couldn’t keep the sound of his wide smile out of his voice. He peeked over his shoulder to expose that face splitting grin with you. Like always, the blues and greens in his smile-crinkled eyes messed with your heart.

“You’ll be my very own personal servant,” Buggy finally answered, looking like the very embodiment of self-satisfaction.

You blamed him for your slip in self-control.

The sharp sound that cut through the room and his shittalking as your palm met his ass was music to your ears. The moment after contact, you bolted for the door, leaving him behind with your laughter. Unfortunately, you were no match for the speed of chop chop hands, which latched onto your wrists to halt your escape. Buggy was right behind them, reattaching and then wrapping arms around you to throw you over a shoulder in one frantic motion.

The cackling that burst out of him was wild and bright and you couldn’t resist joining in. You wished you could see his face as it twisted in joy, but you were stuck hanging over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Your mind lost that thought along with all others when you felt a harsh smack against your own ass. When he received a disbelieving chuckle instead of vicious cursing, Buggy repeated the sharp motion a few more times for good measure. You yelped and squirmed playfully, mildly impressed how easily he supported your weight and kept his hold firm.

You decided he was a hidden gentleman when his hand only stayed in place for a moment before moving down to the back of your thighs. You shivered at the feeling of his hand brushing down the sensitive skin there to rest its warmth just above the back of your knee. He started walking, his steps bouncing through you, and just when you wondered where he planned to put you, your world spun. Springs creaked as your back met the mattress and continued their protests with each residual bounce.

“You’re not allowed to take up the whole thing this time,” Buggy teased, narrowing his eyes down at you.

“Like you needed the space.” You still started shifting towards the walled side of the bed to make room for him.

“You gonna hold your Captain’s weakest moment over his head forever?” Buggy asked.

“Unlikely, but no promises,” you responded, voice warbled by your heavy shifts to turn over and face Buggy once more.

He beat your grace by a landslide when he delicately sat on the bed and slid under the covers. It reminded you of someone trying not to alert a predator with any sudden movements. Or maybe a teen sneaking back into the house just before dawn. Grace leaves him once his motion stops though; he lays awkwardly on his back and his whole body stiffens up to resemble a plank. He’s kept himself arm’s distance from you, not at the edge of the mattress but close. And he really had the gall to say you’d take up the whole bed when he was going to act like this.

“You just had a hand on my ass; are you really that scared to touch me again?” Your voice is much more incredulous than judgemental. You were simply astonished by his capricious nature yet again.

Instead of responding, Buggy sent a pouty glare your way. You met it with an easy smile, making it begin to lean more pout than glare. It looked positively absurd coming from the corner of his eye because he was still too locked up to move. Wanting to ease him and getting tired of waiting (and missing his touch), you began to reach for him. Just to spite you, Buggy finally broke his method acting as Statue to turn his back to you. The huff he let out had you giggling again. You took a moment to cherish how much he’s had you doing that, especially tonight.

“If you think I won’t spoon you, you’ve got another thing coming,” you threatened.

You caught the barest hint of his gaze when he turned his head to peak at you. It was only there for a moment before he faced back forward and snuggled himself deeper into the mattress. Looks like someone might actually be up for little spoon.

Moving slowly so that he has plenty of time to object, you shifted yourself forward on the bed until you were only a few inches away. The divot both of your bodies were making was adding gravity to the pull between you two but you still hesitated. The final step to contact was the most daunting after all, and also the part you wanted to savor the most. You took a deep breath, smelling your own favorite lotion off of the exposed skin in front of you, and moved forward.

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

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Tentative Taglist (don't wanna bug people and I know it's been a LONG time since some people have asked - no pressure!): @gingernut1314 @writingmysanity @hey-august @click-and-flash-pest-captures @feral-artistry @haveatthee83 @schoute @paranoid-poppies @clownetomb @srgtjamesbarnes @karma-gisa @mythicallystupid

[harryfeatgaga]

no because now i’m thinking MORE 😭 him owning his own construction company?? he’s the boss so he gets to do whatever he wants basically. you’d have your own hard hat he keeps on site for when you come by and he wants to be with you ☹️🫶 it’s your favorite color and has “babydoll” on the back bc that’s what he always calls you. bringing him and his workers lunch and goodies all the time because they’re working hard 😪. and god he’d be so strong 😵‍💫 so bulky 😵‍💫 he’d cross his arms and his shirt would look like it’s about to rip. but really i’m thinking about him secretly building your dream house for you 😪 he doesn’t tell you what he’s up to and you just think he has another contract. he wouldn’t tell you until it’s almost finished and all that’s left is the little details so he has you come by. you bring lunch for everyone so while they eat he takes you on a tour of the house and you’re like “why are you asking me what faucet to put in??” and he’d just smirk at you and lean against the counter “you don’t wanna pick the faucet for your house baby?” “my house? my- harry what?!” he’d chuckle and wrap his arms around your waist to pull you against him “mhm, your house baby. do you like it?” “you built me a fucking house!?” you’d smack his shoulder and pull away looking around in awe before you start shrieking in pure happiness “you built me a house! oh my god you’re the best husband ever!” he’d love seeing you so happy, his own smile huge on his face as he pushes off the counter and offers you his hand “cmon, wanna show you the rest. remember how you wanted a island in the laundry room?”

NOOOOOOOOO OH MY GOD STOPPPPPPPPP 😭🫶🏻

[misteria247]

I come here bearing a gift

https://at.tumblr.com/tmntclips/this-clip-does-3d6-psychic-damage/8jjfc3grjcgp

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGD I, YOU, OH NO-

NO NONONONONONONO NOT AGAIN THE COCKY SMIRK, THE AIR OF CONFIDENCE AND THE ABSOLUTE BADASS POWER OH NOOOOOOOOO

FUCK I NEED A MINUTE JESUS CHRIST IT'S LUPIN III: THE FIRST JIGEN SMIRKING WITHOUT HIS HAT KIND OF MOMENT FOR ME ALL OVER AGAIN OH GOD

ONLY IT'S LEO HELP-

[darlingatlas]

Things that happened in my friend and I’s Ace Attorney playthrough Pt. 6 (Featuring another friend!)

Pt 1  Pt 2  Pt 3  Pt 4  Pt 5

Cast: Me Friend 1 (from the last 5 posts): L Friend 2: M

xxxxxx

Me/Ema: A leather jacket, leather pants, and a leather... what was that called again? L/Phoenix: It’s called a strap-on.

xxxxxx

M, as Jake Marshall: Listen Phoenix if you put on this cowboy hat, it’ll be my lucky day. You can be the deputy to my sheriff.

xxxxxx

M: Alright, I’m gonna make [Gumshoe] Cockney British. *later* M: Fuck this, he’s no longer British.

xxxxxx

M/Gumshoe: I’m on my third card now since I started on the force! L/Phoenix: Gumshoe, how long have you been in the force? M/Gumshoe: Ah a couple days now.

xxxxxx

M: *Slowly losing shit about Gumshoe taking forever to explain evidence lockers* Me & L: *dying of laughter*

xxxxxx

M/Gumshoe: Legal Shmegal!

xxxxxx

All of us: HOW THE FUCK DO WE PROCEED WITH THIS SCENE?!

xxxxxx:

M/Gumshoe: Trust me, pal. You can’t trust the police. ACAB, baby!

xxxxxx

*Bellboy reappears in High Prosecutor’s office* Me: YOU!

xxxxxx

M: I feel like Miles Edgeworth is the type to listen to Eminem, but only when no one’s around.

xxxxxx

“LINE!” (any time someone forgets to voice their line)

xxxxxx

L: NOT THE FINGER, NOT THE FINGER- MMMMHHHH! (Again, Edgeworth’s finger tapping sprite)

xxxxxx

M: That smug asshole. L: I know, I love him.

xxxxxx

Videotape scene with dancing Blue Badger

L: No, no, no. M: This is a horror movie. L: The music doesn’t help either. I keep waiting for a jumpscare.

xxxxxx

M/Judge: It goes to show when novices should keep they’re mouths shut. Me/Edgeworth: Yes, so stay in your lane, Your Honor. M: Shut the fuck up!

xxxxxx

L: Let’s take a sip of a drink every time someone says the word ‘lock’ or ‘locker’ M: We’d be dead in twenty minutes.

xxxxxx

M, voicing 3 hard voices back to back: Oh fuck me, my voice.

xxxxxx

Me: Do not simp for the serial killer.

xxxxxx

L, realizing that the Blue Badger played a big part in Rise from the Ashes: No. Nooo. Nooooooooo! Me: I told you that the Blue Badger played a major role in this case >:3

xxxxxx

M: I’m just looking at the word ‘balderdash’ and I’m just in awe.

[darke15]

Rhymieeeeeeee 🖤🖤🖤 @rhymingtree

BUT I'M HERE NOW AND I AM READY FOR THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE 🙂

Nooooooooo 😭😭😭

Day 234 of fucking 619... jesus. Do you think Ollie ever waited for her to just crack or did he know she'd be holding on for that long.

He was v annoyed that she was as strong as she was 

The Doctor was intent on bringing you to your knees and, luckily, you were intent on…not doing that.

Gotta love her planning skills

She’s trying her best 

THE FUCKING SOLDIER

HE'S SO SWEET

Fr tho 

he's scraggly and in dire need of some therapy, but he's sweet

He just needs a hug

Did Novak ever see the Soldier's obedience when it came to 'keeping her alive' and 'not hurting her'  as simply the Soldier taking orders or did he ever see that there were already cracks and Bucky's humanity seeped through when it came to watching over her?

He def saw something but he didn’t know what it was until it was too late. 

If you couldn’t remember him then…then you couldn’t remember… — “Cierra tus ojos, mi amor,” he murmured, holding you against his chest as you began to struggle. He turned quickly, his back to the pair of rockets that were shooting toward you. He whispered in your ear, cradling your head against his neck, “Te quiero. Te quiero. Te quiero. Te—” — — Close your eyes, my love. I love you. I love you. I love you. I— — Him. You squeezed your eyes shut as your chest began to heave, “Danny.”

haha fuck you too

Yeah, that’s fair 

You couldn’t let Novak take Danny from you twice.

The chapter barely started darke what the heck

oops

did she just call novak Norman? i love her

Names are hard

if I were her i'd fuck up his name intentionally all the time just to fuck with him

I'd call him Nietzche or Nirvana or Noology

Lol 😂😂😂

What if Nomad—nope, not that one—had found out you were talking to him and separated the two of you?

she's worried she'll lose the Soldier too? 😭

I mean hat makes sese considering he's the only person in her life right now who hasn't actively hurt her or questioned her.

Exactly. He’s one of the few ‘peaceful’ constants rn

no stop caring about Ollie he doesn't deserve it

She doesn’t know 😭

stop caring about ollie

But she doesn't know 😭😭

STOP FUCKIN-

SHE DOESN'T —

“I promised,” you whispered to yourself under your breath as you straightened yourself up the wall and let your gaze flick to the door.

girl no

Girl yes

how in the heck does she still have the energy to kick ass right now

She’s been hopped up on experimental drugs

he was so much bigger than you remembered him.

i'd be having a very different reaction right now in another context but right now i'm just terrified

Pfffffttttt 😅

also,  he was so much bigger than you remembered him means her memory's gone to shit BUT he was so much bigger than you remembered him means Nepotism had done something to him that enhanced him.

😏😏😏

i just gotta say (even though the current scene is harrowing and really fuckin dark) you're so good at descriptive narration

Thanks 😬😬😬

You felt the instant Danny went limp and let you go. Felt your bones snap as the Humvee landed on your legs. The smoke burned at your lungs, sand clouded your vision, but Danny’s hand was in yours. Then you heard his last breath—his last heartbeat

and fuck you again.

Yep 

i can't keep letting you make me cry like this

You do this to yourself

William was the boss. David was your fiance. Thomas was the medic. Owen was the computer guy. So…what were you?

this is psychological torture of the audience this all goes against the geneva convention this is fuckin illegal darke why the heck IS SHE FORGETTING ALL OF THEM THIS SOON

😀😀😀😀😀

The bioweapons from Paris AND Tokyo were Nocuous' experiments whaaaaat

😈😈😈

The guards shoved you against the table as they began to file from the room before a hand as cold as death wrapped around your wrist.

Five minutes ago that cold was soothing and gentle

Crazy how quick things go to shit 😬

I love how well this could all be parallel visuals in an actual show or movie

unfortunately it just lives inside my brain and i can't admire it the way it deserves

the fucking edits we could make…

Ughhhhhhh the edits would be so doooopeeeeeeeee

WOAH

SHE DID WHAT

SHE FUCKING FLUNG HIM ACROSS THE FUCKING ROOM WHAT THE FUCK

Even in novak’s failure, there was some success

I love how even Noctule was shocked like this wasn't everything he was hoping for.

He was just surprised that he almost got it right

WOAH

HE'S BACK

GENTLE SCRAGGLY BOY IS BACK

Yay 

I am so confused was it the kick that brought him back or... did the kick turn him on or something

Yes 

of course you fuckin' ended it with Danny of course you fucking did

Sorry not sorry. You should’ve seen this coming by now

BRO

whaaaatttt

YOU CAN'T PUT A MOMENT THAT FUCKING SWEET INTO THIS OF ALL THINGS

Yes 😈

— “Well,” you puffed, sitting beside him with a roll of gauze in your hands, “Where doesn’t it hurt?” — — He looked up at you, a mischievous smile curling to his lips before he pointed to his unbroken wrist, “Here.” — — You raised a brow, reached out to the wrist before bringing it to your lips. Danny’s grin grew as you did before he pointed to his cheek, “Here.” — — A smirk found its way to your face as you pushed out of your seat and he pulled you between his legs. You pressed a kiss to his cheek, earning yourself a giggle before Danny pulled away. He pressed a finger to his lips, “Here.” —

I'M NEVER FORGIVING YOU FOR THIS

Bite me 

and then cute Danny moments is followed by cute Soldier moments like WHY WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

Shits and giggles, Rhymie. Shits and giggles

im crying into a burger right now i look ridiculous

That sounds good rn…..the burger not the crying 

“Tell me, my little phantom, how do you create something like you? What must we put a person through to become perfection?” 

at risk of sounding like a TikTok comment: he ate that

Pfffffft 😂

oh god if Nominal was real do you think people would make edits of him

and I don't mean like... the kind that you made of all the villains and shit but... like... you know the ones of Pedro…

Ooooh for sure. There’d be the people with the crushes on him and everything

EW let's not think about that

You started it

but my mind is fuckin disgusting so let me put focus on

“You can scream for me.”

TikTok would love that for all the wrong reasons

That would be an audio in and of itself

Everytime Ghos tugs on her restraints the Soldier just walks up and adjusts them... his love language is easing the pain of torture. I love him.

He’s trying his best

I need to know what happened at the county fair Ghost almost died at.

In some other universe she might've actually died there and I wanna know if it was cotton candy food poisoning or decapitation via roller coaster ride.

Sketchy roller coaster collapse

oh hello Oliver you anak ng putang dinampot lang sa bangketang iniputan ng ibon putanginang gago

yes

You tried to figure out how to bring him back to you but it seemed to be different every time. You couldn’t pin down what brought back his memories.

when in doubt, kick him across the room. that seemed to get him going

The only time violence is a solution

I love hwo while she's kicking ass right now I'm getting all hopeful while completely aware she's not getting out just yet and things are only about to get so much worse for her

Right? That shit hurts

oof you know how to take it dark, darke

😬😬😬

STOP IT WITH THE DANNY FLASHBACKS STOP

No 

“Promise me something?” you asked with a shiver, “Don’t leave me, okay?” “I’m not going anywhere, Soldier Girl.”

It's a great fucking thing I plan on watching a movie after this because if I end my night on THAT I will cry myself to sleep.

Lol 

the flashback chapters are literally amazing, you never miss and I always go in expecting them to be fucking awesome but they exceed expectations every damn time.

Thank you 🖤🖤🖤

the parallels between Danny and Bucky, and Narwhal's bonechilling presence is just chef's kiss. I love Nugget's effortlessness. he's just so scary.

🤣🤣🤣

He'd be terrifying on screen, which is why I have to be grateful he's only in fanfic. If he was real I'd be pissing myself in a movie theatre.

He would be absolutely terrifying 

And I did go the entire chapter not calling him by his real name and I'm so proud of myself for that.

congratulations

I love the flashback chapters so fricking much and I can't wait to seew what unfolds in the next one. The day all of this comes full circle fully will be fricking epic.

Thank you 🖤🖤🖤

CHAPTER 86: FLASHBACK: THE MAN IN GREY

To all my live reactors,

Please, please, please, hide your reactions under a Read More cut. I don’t want any spoilers floating around. 

&

To all my Anonymous Avengers, 

If you want to react in my asks, feel free. However, I won’t be answering any of them until at least Wednesday if they contain spoilers. 

Thank you,

Darke

┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑

“I don’t remember anything.”

He shrugged, nodding to one of his guards as he backed away from you and took back his notebook.

“We shall start with something easier, hm?” Novak said, settling down in his chair with his book and another file, “Who else is on your team?”

“Make no mistake, Lieutenant, I will break you,” he snarled, his voice low and dark, “I do not care how long it takes. I do not care what I have to do to you, I will do it. And you will give me what I want.”

You leveled another glare against him, wrenching your chin out of his grip, “Never.”

“We shall see.”

┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙

» CHAPTER 86: FLASHBACK: THE MAN IN GREY

✪ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ : Aғᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ

♜♠ Tʜᴇ Sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ & Tʜᴇ Sᴘʏ

⧗ Tʜᴇ Rᴇᴅ Rᴏᴏᴍ

»Jᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇ sɪᴅᴇ Tᴀɢʟɪsᴛ

@thexbookxnerdx // @autumn-em // @fadingbakeryfarmoperator // @rhymingtree // @itsmeatballworld // @kippykasey // @turtleedovee // @kamalymaly // @onewithnomightypowers // @y-napotat // @riahmcq // @thequeenofthefallen // @jesuswasnotawhiteman // @fnnshelbys // @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul // @banbananas // @beans-and-toast // @violetvictoriabarnes // @oikawasblueearbud // @itsarussian // @mrsbarnesinmyimagination // @oopsiedoopsie23 // @luhuhzy // @heyimjustlaura12 // @moonlightreader649 // @petalren // @sighmurderbot // @soldat-petala // @useless-creature-213 // @xiyouchan // @kaiblog50 // @bookfeen // @nx-crisis // @aftermatharchives

***if you have a strike through your handle, it wouldn’t let me tag you 😞

[all-my-friends-are-himbos]

ID: discord messages between clem, simon, and their mutual friend bernie.

clem sends a screenshot of a previous chat with the caption "caught in four fucking K." the screenshot is a conversation between him and simon, as follows: clem: every time you look at scar his hat expands horizontally simon says: like the vampire milkf... simon says: MILF MILF I MEANT MILF clem says: MILK simon says: NO

back in the present day, simon reacts to the screenshot by saying: NO I MEANT MILF clem says: that's it. you're getting the milky boys role. bernie says: you like the vampire milk? simon says: NOOOOOOOOO bernie says: who the fuck likes milk. you're sick simon says: i like Regular milf simon says: MILF MILK FUCK GOD clem sends a keysmash. simon says: I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE bernie sends a keysmash.

End ID.