#Grace and I have been coming here together since she was a toddler. love that she still walks here with me❤️
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nonclassyparty · 2 years ago
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[TEASER] Starring Role - ACT XI (C.S; S.MG)
title; tell me your secrets and ask me your questions, oh, let's go back to the start, running in circles, coming up tails, heads on a science apart
summary:
We’ve all read about the infamous player who falls in love with the good girl that manages to make him change his ways…but what happens to the other girl? The pretty, popular one that has warmed his bed before the good girl came along and took him away.
Well, no one cares about her. After all, she’s just a side character.
It almost feels like a joke to play a part, when you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart.
pairing: choi san x reader, song mingi x reader
act x / masterlist / act xi (final)
It's hard not to stare.
The conversation that goes around the table during the appetizers is vapid, the two businessmen are taking subtle jabs at each other's expenses, their bored wives are not so subtly ogling the two waiters that are assigned to your table and the younger men sitting at your table (him included). Shallow conversations served with the only purpose of showing off who has more of what and so on and so on.
Two years ago, this was your territory. The exaggerated delight when speaking about vacations you've been to, talking up your family like you don't all hate each other one way or another and pretending you actually enjoy the presence of your company. Now, you feel awfully out of place.
The times when you were at the top of the food chain are long gone because at this table right here; you are the lowest rank. The weakest player. The artist invited for their amusement because they don't take you seriously, not really. 
You learn pretty quickly into the night that you were never brought here from your boss' good grace to help you sell your art, it's for her to be able to show off the new addition to her company even if it is temporary (after this, you know it will be). Look at this new shiny, pretty little thing I have everyone. Isn't she just the cutest?
That's why it's hard not to stare.
Choi San sits opposite of you, just a couple of seats down and looks like he's completely in his element and it's mindboggling because you don't think you've ever seen him like this.
You always found him charming, good looks paired with pretty words and a smooth voice but here...it's a completely different game. The other two younger guys whose names you didn't bother to remember, seem to wait for his every word with a bated breath, the men laugh at his jokes and the women swoon at the charming grin. He is charismatic and everybody seems to be under his spell. Even you find yourself pressing your lips together to stop from smiling at an occasional quip that comes from him.
It's infuriating.
You're the outsider despite growing up in these people's circles and running around fancy restaurants since you were a toddler but Choi San...well, he fit right in.
You don't miss the way he smiles that godforsaken smile at the wife of one of the younger businessmen here. She's gorgeous and on the younger side which isn't surprising since her husband seems barely forty. She seems to be in her mid-30s though and tries to hide her flustered smile by taking a sip of the red wine in front of her.
A breathless chuckle escapes you as your eyes fall from the obvious (and fucking shameless) flirting done by both of them all while her husband is sitting right next to her but is too busy to notice because he's currently in a dick measuring contest with the others.
All that time that San spent making jabs at your wealth and the rich people you were surrounded with, only for him to land in the middle of that same table that he judged you for not even two years later.
A fucking comedy is what this is.
"I need some fresh air." You mumble to particularly no-one but one of the younger guys that seem to have come here with San and has also been laying it on pretty thick to you the entire night, is the only one to notice. When he offers to go with you, you're quick to decline.
The terrace of the restaurant is gorgeous and you feel yourself sigh once you're presented with the wide view of the city in front of you and the cool evening air enveloping you. You figure you still have some time before the main course and it's almost tempting to just spend it all here.
Your heart can't stop rattling in your chest despite it being almost an hour and a half since the short introduction between you and San and you grip the banister tightly with your hands as you try to keep your thoughts in check.
It's not even a big deal that he's here. The introduction was the only exchange between the two of you and so far, the night has been going well. It will be a bust business wise but at least you will get a free fancy meal out of it.
And San...he was acting normal. Whatever the new normal was for him. So yeah, it's not even a big deal that he's here.
"So we have to introduce ourselves to each other?" A voice quietly says and you freeze at the sound of footsteps until he's standing by your side and his elbow is brushing yours. "Is that what we are now, Y/N? Strangers?"
He's here. And it's a big fucking deal.
You're gripping the banister so tightly that your knuckles turn white but with the utmost grace, you utter; "I don't see what else we could be."
"That's..." He starts before giving you a nod, "Fair."
He pulls something from the pocket of his slacks and you don't give into the curiosity to check what it is until he leans over to you.
An opened pack of cigarettes is presented to you and you glance at it for a second in contemplation before sighing and reluctantly pulling one out before placing it between your lips. After the night you've had, might as well.
He's quick to offer you a light and you take a drag in and exhale as you turn to mirror his position so your back is leaning on the banister and you're observing the people inside the restaurant rather the view.
San takes a cigarette out for himself, lighting it up in similar fashion as he did for you and takes a drag, exhaling with a soft sigh.
"How have you been?"
You scoff out a short, barely there laugh, "What do you want?"
San's head turns to observe you and you will yourself to just keep staring forward.
"Nothing." He responds quietly and you roll your eyes. "I don't want anything. I'm just...just trying to make conversation."
A silence engulfs you as you both take a couple of drags from the cigarettes and watch it get turned into ashes. You watch your figures in the glass in front of you and can notice him glancing at you one too many times.
"Listen, I'm-"
"I don't want your sorry's." You're quick to interrupt him but he's quick to reply back.
"I wasn't gonna say I'm sorry." Your head whips to him for the first time, brows furrowed in insult. He sighs, eyes falling shut for a moment before the flutter open again and meet yours, "Well, okay, you got me there. There is something I was going to say I'm sorry for."
Your frown doesn't move but you don't say anything otherwise so he takes it as a chance to continue. "You told me something in confidence and I-..."
"San." You warn him and uttering his name out loud causes a shiver to run up your spine.
"No. And I couldn't keep my mouth shut because I'm an idiot that let my frustrations get the best of me. And I'm sorry, Y/N, it was a shitty thing to do and you didn't deserve that." He takes a deep breath, "I never promised you much, we both knew what it was between us from the start but I did promise to keep your secrets safe and I failed at that. I know an apology might not mean shit now and I'm not saying it because I expect forgiveness but because you deserve an apology. I'm really sorry."
You stare up at him, chest heaving up and down as you watch him. He's right, you're not going to forgive him...so what now? What do you do and what do you say?
"Kind of weird to apologize here of all places." You comment stoically.
"Don't know when I'll see you again." San says back in almost a whisper.
Almost angrily, at yourself and at him, you take another drag from the cigarette before your eyes fall back on your table inside the restaurant. The woman San was subtly flirting with is laughing with her husband now.
You respond back in the only way you know how when it comes to talking to San. Women.
"You've moved on from unsuspecting college girls to older women now?" You ask, flicking your cigarette and taking another drag.
At the look of confusion he gives you, you nudge your head to the direction of the table you both have shared for the majority of the night. He follows your gaze and the realization sets in.
"Oh," He chuckles, one dimple showing as he glances at you. "She's cute."
"She's also married." You grit out quietly, quickly looking around to make sure no-one else hears.
San's brows furrow and his lips are pressed to stop himself from smiling as he leans over to you as if to let you in on a little secret, "Not happily married."
You scoff, rolling your eyes dramatically as you look away from him. He chuckles again.
"It's them who make the first move, never me." San clarifies, smile dimming, "I may be a lot of things but not a homewrecker."
"That is still being a homewrecker, San."
"That home has been wrecked a long time ago, princess."
You shake your head, keeping your judgement to yourself but the curiosity is still there.
What has Choi San been up to these past two years? While you were in Paris shutting yourself off from anyone and everything to focus on your art, what was he doing?
"Them who make the first move?" You repeat in disbelief, turning to him again and you place your done cigarette in the ashtray before crossing your arms and now the judgement is very obvious, "Don't tell me you're one of those guys who's chasing after older women now."
San presses his lips together.
"Seriously? You are such a fuckin’ cliché, couldn’t you find some co-workers to sleep with?"
His brow quirks up in thought, "Hm, funnily enough I don't think I've ever slept with a co-worker." You shake your head at him again, having no idea how he just says that so...shamelessly and are about to open your mouth to scold him but he continues deep in thought, "Does a boss' wife count as a co-worker?"
Your jaw drops at the genuine question and you have to turn your head to the side just so he won't notice the fact that you're holding back laughter, still a snort escapes you. "Jesus."
At that, San lets out a short, husky laugh as well, seemingly unbothered as he takes another drag from his cigarette.
Same old San.
There is still so much left unsaid between the two of you. So much pain and anger, pure rage, so much sadness that is kept bottled away and so many memories repressed but in that moment...well, you are fucking nosy! Sue you!
"You slept with your boss' wife?!" You whisper yell at him with wide eyes, horrified yet equally amused and if that makes you a horrible person then so be it.
"She-" He tries to explain but you're already shaking your head in judgement, "No, hey, listen listen. She came onto me-"
"And you just couldn't resist, could you?"
His brows furrow in defense, "Hey, my boss is a dick."
You both fall into a silence after that, a summer breeze coasting over and you watch the guy who's been flirting with you the entire night stand up and step away from the table.
"You know that guy?" You ask San, nodding towards the tall figure walking away.
"Jaehyun?" He asks confusedly and at your nod, "We work together. Why?"
"Can you tell him to lay off? He keeps mentioning drinks at some bar after this and I'm not interested."
San frowns, jaw clenching, "He made you uncomfortable?"
You snort, "Please, he's harmless but I'm just not interested."
"Okay, I'll let him know." He nods before turning around, hands finally free of the cigarette and placed on the banister. He glances at you again after a moment of silence. "So...are you seeing...anyone?"
You tense a little at that. "Yeah."
His gaze is glued to the side of your face.
"Good." San nods, "That's good."
You shrug, not really wanting to talk about it. Not because it's San but because...you just don't want to think about your relationship with Mingi right now despite it being at the forefront of your mind at all times.
Noticing the waiters start walking to your tables with trays of food, you straighten out as well. "Looks like the food is here."
San looks over his shoulder with raised eyebrows and reluctantly straightens out his posture, as if he's not ready to go back inside. Hm. It's seems like San wasn't exactly in his element as you thought back there, just a really good actor.
You're the first to move towards the glass door but he's quick to stop you.
"Uh," A hand wraps around your elbow and you turn to him in confusion, freeing yourself from his gentle hold. San clears his throat before handing you a small white card. "Here. Have it...for, I don't know...Just in case."
You stare at the business card, a fancy name of a firm that you'd probably know if you were in his field, printed at the top with San's contact info below. You don’t know what it means, him giving you the card, so you accept it at a surface level for what it is.
With a nod, you simply take the card and tuck it into your handbag.
San motions for you to go first, holding the door open for you and you walk pass him without a word.
The moment you both shared outside, is seemingly broken the second you both join the same table again.
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black-queen-rising · 5 months ago
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"You are your father's daughter," The words had escaped from Rhaenyra's lips just as frequently in praise as in exasperation since Baela had first learned to walk; a tiny, toddler terror chasing her cousins around with wooden swords or practice jousting lances when she became annoyed no one would play with her, or simply bored with their current game. It was easy admonishment, and even easier admiration, to let out a good-natured sigh or soft laugh and tell her niece, her stepdaughter, her Tala, that she was possessed a milder version of her father's harshest tendencies while continually besting all his better qualities. It was true every time she said it--Rhaenyra did not make a habit of lying to the children in her life, she was far too well-aware how little good would come of it, especially when it came to matters of correction and celebration--and far from an uncommon remark, arguably the most common observation made about the newly-elevated Princess in the decade since their family took up permanent residence at Court. But it was far more complicated than most would ever suspect, and farther still from what Rhaenyra would let on to anyone, certainly to Baela herself.
She had always loved Daemon endlessly, painfully deeply, all her life, in the moments it had cost her most dearly, and the ones it had saved her; she loved him so horrifically, stupidly much that she knew it not only blinded her to many of his most glaring faults, but also bridged even the widest gaps they'd caused and would have otherwise been like to tear them apart. That strength in which Rhaenyra loved Daemon only compounded when it came to Baela, the audacity and daring she adored in her father merged with the unabashed, loving spirit and spark that lit up her eyes in the face of a challenge that were so characteristic of her mother, of the woman she had loved...would always love most. Such a potent mixture meant no matter how much she frustrated her, impressed her, or even broke her heart, Rhaenyra would never hesitate to move heaven and raise hell for Baela. It meant that on the morning nearly two weeks to the day since the attempt on the new Queen's life, while her body still ached, all she could think about was her frustration at still being stuck on bed rest, and she finally saw her Tala's face, accompanied by a shy, apologetic smile and the words, "I'm glad you're not dead..." All she could do was return the vice grip of a hug with all the strength she had regained, and respond in relief, "I'm just glad to finally get to see you, my darling."
Rhaenyra placed a peck on Baela's forehead, and ran a gentle thumb over her cheek after she felt ready to pull away, no longer able to hide the amused grin at her remark as she added, "But keeping my place amongst the land of the living is certainly a nice bonus." Then she motioned to the large, empty space at the end of her bed so often occupied by all manner of Baela's siblings, though she had half a mind to lecture her about her lack of communication, or else how long it had taken her stepdaughter to grace her with her presence, both were far overruled by how much she simply wished to indulge in one another's company now she finally felt ready to offer it of her own accord. "I hope it's not too much to ask that you'll stay to break fast together? Or at least for a cup of tea? I've gotten updates here and there from everyone else, but I'd very much like to know how you feel things have been going? How are your friends holding up? And your own thoughts?"
Rhaenyra's smile shifted towards much greater sincerity as she added, "For what it's worth, Kepa, and Jace, even Calla have all wished for me to know about how taken the Court has been with the dedication and compassion of their future Queen in such trying times; you ought to be very proud of yourself for how hard you've been working to hold everything, and everyone, together during all of this. I, for one, couldn't be more grateful or more impressed."
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Jorrāelzi ༉‧₊˚.
The Red Keep, 129 AC. With: @black-queen-rising
✦┊⟩» Baela sat in front of her window the whole night. Her muña was poisoned weeks ago, but she never found the strength to go and actually see her. Baela asked Rhaena about how she was doing almost daily, if it wasn't her sister, she asked her ladies in waiting and if they didn't know, Jace did.
Baela usually didn't get why Rhaena would use embroidery to calm herself until she actually tried it. Her sister probably wasn't actively stabbing her fabric, though. The training yard had been her most efficient distraction, but Baela started to feel she might murder someone if she kept training while feeling so powerless. Embroidery did the job just as well as fighting. Her work was half way done: a little kraken and a sketch of a scythe slowly started to form. It'd be finished on time for Lady Alannys, or at least Baela hoped it did.
As the sun's rays grew brighter, Baela sighed and decided she had waited enough. Teora Grafton, one of her closest friends and companions, arrives some time later and wake her up from her nap beside the window.
After everything that happened, Baela was sure the last thing her muña would care about was her appearance, but she still took care of her hair and dress up in a simple and comfortable gown before going to visit her muña's solar.
She arrived and opened the door, before her head had time to tell her to turn around and go back to her own chambers. Rhaenyra was in front of her, alive. Her feet run towards her before Baela could truly react.
—I'm glad you are alive. —She hugged her tightly. Some tears escaping her eyes.
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babybadger · 2 years ago
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I need more dad!daniel please x
Your wish is my command love🥰
A New Baby in Town
“Daddy?….Daddy?” Daniel woke up to soft tapping on his cheek. His princess sitting up on his chest. “Daddy wake.” She began to sniffle and gasp on air. The key sign his two year old was about to burst out crying. “What’s up darling?” he asks right before he yawns and pulls her down into his arms, not even opening his eyes. He was used to Layla crawling into the bed midway through the morning and her demanding cuddles. “Mumma sick. I not like mumma sick.” she whines into his chest. “mhmm” he agrees before realising what his daughter was telling him as he heard you in the bathroom. “Wait what? Baby stay here I’m gonna help mum.” He tells her, passing her a dummy from his side of the table and pushing back her curls as she crawls into the warmth of the spot he was just lying in.
As he walks in he sees a test on the side of the counter and you slumped by the toilet. “I certainly didn’t miss this stage” You tell him. “AHAH we are having another baby!” he shouted before you shushed him. “Babe yes sorry it wasn’t a grand reveal but I feel like shit. Can we not tell Layla yet. She is already so jealous with Isaac, I dread her sharing you with another child in the house.” He nods but still sits beside her on the bathroom floor and pulls her in for a cuddle. “We are having another baby! God I love you,” he says smiling into your neck.
9 months later…
Introducing your daughter to your newest little girl was going to be hard no matter when you did it. She cried on and off for a week when you told her there was a baby coming to the house. Seeking comfort in only Daniel and refusing to speak to you about it. Thankfully, Daniels parents took her for the first couple days so you could get settled and get comfortable feeding a newborn again. But today she was coming home and you still didn’t feel ready. You loved her so so much and were glad she was coming home but her reaction to the newborn was keeping you awake more than the newborn themselves.
“Y/N honey, we are home” You hear Grace come in the front door and strapped your nursing bra back up. Your little girl quietly slid into the living room and stood by the couch. Daniel and Grace coming in behind her, Dan carrying her overnight bags. “Come say hi darling.” You said holding the baby on a pillow on your lap and one hand out to her so she could come sit beside you. She took one look at you and the baby and hid in Daniels leg. “C’mon let’s meet the baby together shall we?” He said bringing her over to sit on his lap beside you. Grace snapped as many pictures as she could from the sofa across from you. Watching her grandchildren meet brought tears to her eyes. Moments like these were precious.
Everyday was a learning curve with two under two. Jealousy was a BIG issue from the first night. Grace was kind enough to cook your whole family dinner before she left. Even sitting down to feed your youngest your oldest girl was still acting very shy. You could hear her talking to Daniel in the kitchen. She’d stuck by his hip since she got back.
“No no baby mummy and baby don’t need space at the table, they can eat on the couch.” He tells his curly haired double. “Why?” She asks through her dummy. Something she had barely let go of since she got home from her grannies. Both you and Daniel thought it might of been a cry for attention but it wasn’t causing her any problems so you left her to use it whenever she wanted. “Cause mummy and sissy need to be comfy so sissy can eat too.” Immediately the toddler burst into tears. Daniel turned from dishing out the dinner to pick up Layla. “What’s wrong beautiful heyyy hey hey calm down” he attempts to soothe her as she spits out her dummy onto the floor and begins nearly screaming into his shoulder.” If Daniel knew anything, it’s that if Layla was crying, you would be crying too. Those damn hormones.
Taking your oldest upstairs, Daniel picked up another dummy on his way and sent you a soft smile as he walked passed the living room door. Just as he expected tears were running down your face. Gently your stroked your youngest’s face. “I swear she likes you bub, she just loves her mummy and daddies attention,” you whisper down at Lily. She pays you no attention back. Her mouth sucking away as her tiny hands grab at your chest and rolled up t-shirt. Wiping your tears, you try and relax into the sofa. You know the stress is no good for the feeding but you just want both your girls to be happy.
“Alright little one tell me what’s going on? hmmm why you so upset with Daddy?” Daniel asks the distraught toddler. Her little legs dangle off the bed as he sits on his knees in front of her. Layla gasps as she tries to cry and talk at the same time. “Just…want my mummy back….daddy wants new baby…I’m not baby.” Sobs racked the entire little girls body and Daniel passed her the dummy he brought up as he picked her back up to soothe her once again. He thought a part of his heart was fully dislodged from his chest. How dare he of let his little girl feel like that. Daniel tried to put Layla back on the bed once she’d calmed down but she clung round his neck and refused. Instead he turned around and sat her on his lap, his arms still around her.
“Hey, let daddy see your pretty face.” Very slowly she retracted from his neck. Her big brown eyes riddled with tears, shiny tracks down her face. Her dummy still firmly in place with only her red cheeks showing either side. “Your mummy and I love you so soooo much little one.” He begins, unsure of where to take the conversation. “Just because sissy is here doesn’t mean we have gone away. Lily just keeps mummy very busy cause she has to eat and drink with mummy. Remember when you ate and drank with mummy?” Layla gave a quick nod of her head. It took you forever to ween Layla so she only stopped feeding about a year ago when she turned two. “You know how much it made you big and strong just like big girl food does now?” Again Layla gave a little nod, one of her thick curls falling only her face. Daniel pushed it back lightly, “So Lily needs to spend lots of time with mummy so she can get big and strong like you did. Then she can play with you when she’s bigger.” Layla looked blankly at her dad. Daniel was unsure what else to say. How could you explain loving children equally to a newly three year old. Until he remembered what Michelle told Isaac. He gave Layla’s forehead a gentle kiss and pulled her in tighter for a cuddle. “You know how you have lots of teddy bears and you love all of them the same? That’s like mummy and daddy with you and Lily. We love you both the very same. But Lily does stinky nappies so we have to help her more so she’s not smelly.” Daniel tried his shot at a joke to lighten the little girls mood. Much to his amusement it works and the little girl giggles. “Will we go see if Lily is stinky for mummy?” Layla sneaks her head out and nods once more.
Standing up, still holding his now exhausted princess, he makes his way downstairs. Your lying on the couch, finally getting a break while Lily sleeps in her basket to your left. “Hi babygirl, you okay?” you ask as Layla reaches for you out of Daniels arms. “Careful baby mummy is still-” “it’s okay mummy is fine. Very happy to see her big girl. Mummy wants all the cuddles cause daddy has had loads. Greedy daddy.” you say squeezing her as you speak. Giggling loudly she says “silly mummy.” Daniel knows you just don’t want her to feel rejected by you, so ignoring how uncomfortable it was sitting right would have to suffice.
“Daniel…Daniel” you say throwing a muslin at him. “Dan wake up babe.” He leans forward off the sofa which you all appear to have fallen asleep on after watching an episode or two of paw patrol while Layla caught you up on the nursery drama and art projects. “Lily is about to fuss but Layla is fast asleep can you take her before she wakes up.” Daniel nods sleepily. “Cmere princess” He says lifting her off you and she quickly snuggles into his arms. You pick up Lily and begin feeding her before she gets the chance to cry. Dan and you smile at each other through the dim lighting of the living room. “We are gonna get pretty good at this double the trouble stuff” you whisper at him. “Just wait till we are outnumbered. We need that boy, darling.” Daniel winks back at you, a hand sliding up and down your thigh. “In your dreamiest of dreams Ricciardo. Not for at least another 2 years.” “Oh yeah cause Lily was planned” He rolls his eyes and you gently slap the shoulder Layla’s head isn’t on. “I don’t know if your sperm can create boys Riccy” You joke at him and move to burp Lily. “My sperm are perfectly capable of making boys thank you very much and in 1 year 11 months and 28 days i’ll prove that.” You giggle and his stupidity and shake your head. “I never thought i’d be sitting on this couch talking about your sperms’ capability while holding our two children.” Daniel laughs loudly then covers his mouth checking quickly he hasn’t woken either of his babies. Sliding closer to you, her puts and arm around you. “I love you, thank you for your capabilities of growing them.” You make a disgusted face but kiss him softly none the less. Leaning your head on his shoulder and enjoying a moment of reflection and silence.
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ssunkissedsunflowerss · 2 years ago
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“Nice and toasty”
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no plot, no direction whatsoever. i cannot sleep, i cannot get the hush scene out of my head, i have much love for shuri, there is a sara x shinobu fanart (genshin) that i saw and has been stuck in my head ever since, simply wanted to blow off some steam. ***needless to say, it’s smutty towards the end.***
“I’m coming back. I’m coming back for you.”
“Liar.” You mutter, voice soft and shaky, small tendrils of clouds escaping out of your mouth as warm breath collides with the icy cold air.
Around you, fluttering from the sky with such beauty and elegance are a flurry of fluffy white snow. Some of the tiny ice blossoms softly kisses you on your cherry suffused cheeks while others keep making their descend until they grace the ground with their velveteen presence.
Meanwhile, you walk the white carpet, drenched to the bone like a drowned rat, swaying and wobbly on your feet like a sickly leaf precariously hanging onto its branch. It has been amidst creating snow angels on a thick blanket of snow, giggling like toddlers and savouring the little flavourful bits of your shared moment together, that your fun has been rudely spoiled. After all, your girlfriend has left her nation not to have a date with you but to attend an important conference.
Going out tonight with you has been a risk she is willing to take, and you, having been missing her sorely after being apart for quite a spell, have had no reasons to say no. However, walking back to your apartment snow soaked and alone is definitely not how you have pictured the grand finale of your date. You have been having such great time, stealing sweet kisses and drenching each other in saccharine words. Making the most out of your little time together, you have been squeezing it for all its worth. Not a dot is to leave unspared. How anticlimatic that it has to end the way it is.
As your mind has been plagued with rampant thoughts, it is no surprise that you fail to notice the presence of another until a hand is tightly pressed over your mouth. Startled, you struggle. Nothing but foolish attempts that bear no fruits as an arm slithers across your waist. It maintains a strong, unyielding grip, as you are pulled into a body, and being pulled further still into a dark alleyway. Your struggles, however, do not cease, writhing and kicking your feet with all your might.
“Shhh, it’s me, love.”
The warmth of her breath softly caresses the tip of your ear. Her voice, husky and hushed, is a tranquilliser, dissolving in you ear like warm cocoa. Only then do you calm.
Caged in her arms and sandwiched between her body and the wall is you, and suddenly, you find the cold no longer a bother. You watch a finger finding home on her lips, a silent hint for you to keep quiet. As she peeks her head out from your hiding place to survey the vicinity, all you can feel is your heart throbbing giddily. How she can make but a plain gesture, something as mundane as hushing, ridiculously, arrestingly captivating is beyond you.
“I think I’ve lost them.”
She looks mighty fine simply standing before you. So, finding your fingers wandering towards her waist, too, is beyond your control.
She welcomes you eagerly, unclasping your fingers on her waist only to reposition them behind her back. “Come here.” Her arms then find home across your back, gathering you into her chest and keeping your bodies firmly pressed together.
It feels as if a thick, cosy blanket has been settled over you. Her body heat alone seems to instantly thaw the chill in your very bones as you feel pleasantly warm all over. Your face has found sanctuary in the little nook of her neck where you nuzzles her like an affectionate kitten.
“Hmm, you’re so warm.” When you hum, she counters. “You’re so cold.”
Her hands leave you. They are instead brought over to her mouth where she blows warm air into the little cocoon, rubs them against each other. Once satisfied, she settles them atop your cheeks, gingerly cradling the frozen cherries in the warm palms of her hands.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t come back sooner, my love.”
Her forehead descends onto yours, her lips whisper-soft as she kisses the lovely, little arch of your nose.
“But, I know just the thing to make you warmer.” You feel her smile on your lips when she presses a kiss that, to your disappointment, do not linger. “Come. Let’s quickly get ourselves out of here.”
And that is how you find yourself back in your apartment, straddling your girlfriend’s thighs as the mighty panther feasts on the succulent swells of your breasts.
Her eyes are a mesmerising dark, two black holes pulling you in as wicked lips leave nebulae in their wake. Like a starved man, she suckles your tender flesh with frenzied desperation. Stars burst beneath her mouth. Fireworks explode behind your eyelids. Your waist is a home to her hands, and her nape, a home to yours. A harsh suckle coupled with a flick of her twisted tongue has you mewling wantonly, back curving and fitting flawlessly into your lover’s front. Two puzzle pieces coming together.
By the time her warm mouth detaches from your soft mounds, she is as salacious a mess as you are. A thin glistening line of saliva bridging the two of you, your breasts are dewy with drool, as well as her face for there are little rivulets of spit raining tantalisingly down her chin. Your lover looks every bit the portrait of a majestic panther, ravenously devouring you as though you are her little morsel. In fact, you are, and the realisation has liquid lava pooling in your gut.
Greatly galvanised and irrevocably aching, you are but a moth to a flame, diving down for her mouth like a madman. She receives you all too eagerly, careful yet determined digits digging into your ribcage as your fingers venture into her healthy curls. They hold her there, grip white-knuckled tight.
“There. I’ve thawed my sweet little meal and made her nice and toasty. Ready for the taking.”
As she fuels your needs with her sinful remarks, all you can think in your hazy head is that there is no better way to end the night than being undone by your mighty panther’s cleverly wicked mouth. After all, you can confirm from experience that they are capable of unimaginable crafts that will have your eyes rolling to the back of your skull.
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halfmoonshines · 3 years ago
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Hey there! 😀 Could I request an SPN one-shot about Dean falling in love with an Archangel!Reader? (in my head, R's actually THE eldest archangel, and the First Reaper to ever exist - a literal Archangel of Death. But unlike her siblings, she is actually the most affable and human-like - like she knows how humans behave and why they do whatever they do, but is still inexperienced in certain things such as love or sex - Dean is not as hostile to her as he is to Cas Also: I headcanon it that she lost all her grace after Metatron's shenanigans in heaven, so up until Chuck's toddler tantrum over the ending, she fights with Winchesters as human). Sorry for the req. being so long. 🙂
Don't apologize, I love the details <3 Full disclosure I haven't watched the last season of Supernatural because I just don't want to say goodbye to them. Here is my best shot! I hope you enjoy.
Teachings
Summary; Archangel!Reader is completely oblivious to Dean's flirtations and he's had enough of beating around the bush.
The first time you felt the twinge of something weird, it was right after a mission you and Sam had gone out on by yourself. Dean had been waiting for you as soon as you entered the bunker, his arms folded across his chest and jaw working.
"What the hell was that?" He demanded.
You blinked, hand still trying to work the tenseness out of your shoulder from where Sam had to relocate it. You honestly had no idea what he was referring to. "You mean the part where we defeated the big bad?" You asked, head cocking to the side as you took in his angry posture.
"You ran off without Sam, right into the thick of it. You're powerless now, Y/N. You can't just jump into every problem head on." He unfolded his arms, taking a few steps toward you.
Indignation sparked in your gut, eyes narrowing a bit. You knew full well that you were effectively powerless now, he absolutely did not need to keep bringing that up. "I'm very aware of how much power I wield, Dean. You seem to forget that I've been versed in hand to hand combat since before you were a thought in your mothers head."
Dean sighed, standing across from you, watching your hand rubbing circles into your shoulder. "You got hurt today, Y/N. I don't want that happening again." He stayed for a moment longer after that, gaze searching you for something you couldn't decipher before walking off.
The second time you were utterly dumbfounded by Dean's behavior came a few weeks later as you were cooking the gang dinner in the kitchen. You had decided to be the one to cook because you were feeling decidedly uncomfortable. Ever since Metatron's idiocy and your subsequent humanity, there were some days where you just didn't feel right. Like there were bees fluttering under your skin. Castiel had said he thought it was because no matter how human your body was, your brain was still not. Filled with a millennia worth of knowledge and memories.
You put the spatula down rather harshly, closing your eyes to stop the cacophony of things flooding your senses.
"Y/N?" Dean's voice sounded from the doorway of the kitchen. When you didn't immediately open you eyes and acknowledge him, he came forward to stand next to you, resting a hand on your arm. "Do you want me to take over?"
You opened your eyes, glancing over at the Hunter. He had concern dancing in his eyes, brows pulled together. There were sometimes that you thought he was the angel in the friendship.
Where did that come from? You thought to yourself, shaking your head a bit to dislodge the thoughts.
"I can finish up, I'm just feeling a bit off." You gave him what hoped was a reassuring smile.
"Do you want to talk about it?" You couldn't help but notice that he hadn't pulled his hand off of your arm yet.
"Some days are just harder than others. It feels like all of the information I have can overload me, sometimes." You said, using your free hand to rub over your eyes. "I feel like a mess sometimes, Dean. I might not be an angel anymore but I feel like a I make a terrible human."
Dean blinked at you, mouth opening slightly while he just looked at you. "Are you serious?"
You rolled your eyes, feeling a bit affronted. "No it was a joke and I'm feeling just dandy."
"Y/N," Dean started, shaking his head. "Divine being or not, you're still one of the most angelic people I've ever met. You take everything in stride, with a smile on your face. You can tell me stories about Alexander the Great and still kick my ass at Poker, it's amazing."
You cocked your head a bit, trying to decide if he was joking or not. He seemed to notice. "I'm serious." He finalized.
You looked at him for a moment, letting his words wash over you before giving him a broad smile. "Thank you, Dean. You're a good friend."
You didn't notice his smile falter in return. "Great friend, of course."
It came to a head a month after that when you and Dean were sat in the library doing research. You lifted your head from the dated text you had been reading when your companion shut his own rather fiercely, pushing it away from him.
"Everything okay, Dean?" You inquired, wondering if he was alright.
He clenched his jaw, choosing to look anywhere but you. "I just feel like we're always two steps behind. We figure out one problem and then another rams us in the back of the head. I don't know if we're going to be able to come out on top of this one."
You reached a hand out to him out of instinct, wrapping it around his forearm. "We're going to be just fine."
He looked at your hand instead of your face. "How can you know that?"
"Because in all of my years among humanity, I've never met a man as strong as you, in mind or spirit. I truly believe that you can conquer any problem you encounter." You said with finality, squeezing his arm a bit. He glanced up at you quickly then, seeming at a loss for words.
"Are you serious?" He asked.
You reached out your other hand to wrap around his other arm. "I've never been more sure of something, Dean."
You both just sat there for what seemed like forever, his green eyes melding into your own cerulean blue. In what seemed like an instant his whole body was across the table, arms shaking your hands off to instead find purchase around your soldiers, lips pressed firmly to your own.
Your shock only lasted a second before you reciprocated, hands coming up to his neck to pull him closer to you. The kiss felt like it was an infinite expansion of time and over too soon at the same time. He pulled away, hovering his head just a few inches from yours and gauging your expression.
You smiled slowly, drinking him in as well. "I wasn't expecting that."
He chuckled. "Really? I've been building up to that for ages."
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swanmaids · 2 years ago
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for the prompt list i found: ‘it was an expensive mistake’ sooo compelling!! 😁
thank you so much!
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When did I realise my error? It is a question that I have thought on much. In a way, I suppose I always knew. My uncle's Oath- it was folly, of course it was. I shan't give myself too much credit for seeing that from the start, since frankly an idiot could have realised that such a vow was only going to end in tears- so I'm not sure what it says about his sons, that they didn't.
Of course, my next actions say nothing good about me, either.
Why did I come to Middle Earth? That question too has kept me awake many nights. When my wife and I decided to leave Aman, we were thinking of our daughter. I don't deny that it sounds ludicrous, considering what I know now, but it's the truth. When the Spider killed the Trees and the Dark Enemy killed my grandfather, the Blessed Realm became a dark and frightening place, and Elenwë and I were caught in a great fear for our daughter. I suppose with all the Noldor swept in a rush to go, to go now, we came to think that Middle Earth would be a better place for Idril, too.
Perhaps we were both a little mad, back then.
Or perhaps I would simply like to think that I was mad, for how else can I explain what I did next? Surely I could not have been sane, when I followed my brother to Alqualondë, when I raised my newly-forged sword in that haven with all the grace of a toddler brandishing a stick, when I murdered my kinsman for - what? Because I followed my brother, who followed his cousin, who followed his father, and none of us stopped to question or to think? It is a poor excuse to take a man’s life.
After that, there was no turning back for me- the Doomsman was more than clear. But I could still have saved my wife and child, and I say to you this, I did try. I told my wife to take Idril and turn back with my uncle- we had thought that Middle Earth would be safer for her, but the deaths and the Doom made it clear that was folly. But Elenwë was stubborn, and said she would not be parted from me, and so together we pressed onwards.
We had never seen the Ice before. We did not know the nature of the beast that we faced.
Perhaps it was on the Ice that I knew the true nature of my error. Certainly here in Mandos, the Weaver shows me the same scenes often. Here is my wife, falling in terror, drowning and lost. Here is my father, his longsword raised to cut away the blackened stumps of my daughter's legs. As if I could ever forget!
The histories say that I hated Fëanor and his sons for the burning of the ships and the condemnation of my father's Host to the Ice, and they are true, I hated them then and I hate them still. I hate myself yet more. It is I who should have drowned then- what had my wife and child done but follow me, believing I would lead them to a better life? Yes, when Elenwë was lost to me, it was as though all that was joyful and loved the world within me drained away, and I lived each day as though through a black mist.
By the time Idril and I reached Beleriand, I knew what a mistake I had made to try to come to Middle Earth at all, but life had not yet finished reminding me. First my younger brother, butchered by orcs. My sister, held captive in darkness, then slain by the one who should have cherished her. My father killed by the enemy himself, his corpse left outside my city gates. Finrod, my friend and more than friend, betrayed by our cousins to die in darkness and despair. And finally my elder brother, cleaved almost in two by the foul balrog's axe in front of my own eyes.
My city remained- my city was safe. Gondolin had allowed Idril to reach adulthood in peace and beauty, the last of the great Elven cities in Beleriand. Even when Ulmo’s blessed messenger warned me, I still could not believe that it would truly fail her - just one last mistake, as it turned out.
So there is the sum total of my exile- myself a murderer of kin, my wife dead, my family and my dearest friend dead, my city destroyed and my people slaughtered and scattered, my daughter and my grandson left to face Morgoth’s wastelands alone. How many ways can a man fail? As a husband, a father, and a king, I failed them all. So many people paid for my failures, and the cost was high indeed.
I do not think I shall ever leave these Halls. Each of the Weaver’s tapestries of my life is one more reason why I deserve no such mercy.
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murderousginger · 4 years ago
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Darling You’re Glowing
Isaiah Jesus x Esme's Sister Reader
Warnings: Angst? Mentions of cocaine. They're criminals, guys, they do bad things.
Word count: 1,260
This song requested by @pollyrepents.
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You were never really good with crowds. Especially large ones that you didn't know many people at. The chaos of it was fine, but you didn't particularly trust strangers and your opinion on cavalry men was about the same as coppers.
You fidgeted in your dress, earning a quiet but painful stomp on your shoe from your sister Esme. 
"Here," Esme hissed as she handed you the youngest. "Stop fidgeting and help. The wedding is about to start."
"How can it start when half of Grace's side hasn't even shown up?" You scowl as you take the cooing baby into your arms and start to bounce in place. "Besides, the boys haven't returned either."
Esme pursed her lips.
"Keep your voice down, sister," she whispered harshly as she leaned toward you. "Tommy said there will be no fighting today, and since no one in this family fights Tommy bloody Shelby, we're to mind our P's and Q's. Got it?"
"That what John told you this morning while he was putting another child in you while I fed the ones you got, sister?" You smiled cheekily as you swayed and bounced the baby, pushing the question through your teeth so only Esme could hear. 
Esme's neck flushed as she did her best to hide the upturn of her lips. 
"At least I'm not the tarte running around with a preacher's son."
"No, you just married into the Peaky Blinders to pop out kids for the horniest brother."
"Ladies," Polly said through a clenched smile as she leaned over Linda and the pew. "I'd like to remind you that we are in a church and surrounded by self-righteous coppers and soon cavalrymen. Our men are allowed to slip up and blame it on their cocks, we are not. Now hand me that beautiful baby."
You smiled as you happily passed her the baby, Esme scowling as she pushed the toddler closer to you to watch instead. 
"Men have the easy life, I tell ya," Esme muttered.
Finally the boys returned, with Tommy and Arthur going toward the front and John making his way back to the pew. He smiled as he approached until his eyes scanned yours and Esme's arms before landing on Polly and the baby starting to fuss.
"Hey Pol, what are you doing with my baby?" He said cheerily as he made his way past his wife, other children, and you and stretched his arms out. "Give 'im back."
Esme and Polly rolled their eyes simultaneously and the entire row rearranged. John took the baby -- quieting it down almost immediately -- and Esme traded places with you, moving the children between you both like guards on watch.
The seats started to fill and you heard John not to subtly say "Here comes the fucking cavalry," as the music started.
You stifled a laugh, earning a wink from John.
Jeremiah walked in, earning scattered looks through Grace's side as he took his place at the front. You boiled inside knowing what all those looks meant. Snobbish trash.
The wedding was fine. As always, the Shelby side roared with excitement as the couple kissed and Grace's side tastefully clapped as they turned their nose up at the Shelby uproar. Why Tommy would attach himself to such people was beyond you.
You twitched, watching the kids and looking around for your boys. Finn and Isaiah were probably with the younger Blinders, keeping the peace and setting things up for the reception. Your eyes kept searching the crowds, nervously scanning strangers for God knows what.
After family photos, everyone scattered to their cars to head to Arrow House for the reception dinner and party. You were charged with taking the kids home and tucking them in for the night. You fully planned to go to Arrow House after, whether John intended you to or not. You were going.
---
It was dark by the time you got to Arrow House, and dinner was far over. You parked the car near the others and scooted out of the seat in your silky lilac dress. You slipped your heels on as you walked toward the door, opening it to the lavish party inside. 
You smiled shyly at the uniformed men that turned as you walked in, hoping to slip through the crowd and blend in as if you'd been there all night. 
You quickly saw Isaiah from across the foyer and immediately went to meet him, only to see a pretty brunette grab his arm.
"I was told to ask someone young," she simpered, looking up at him through her lashes. "Will there be cocaine?"
"Sweetheart," Isaiah replied with a cocky grin. "I am young, informed and, uh, very well-equipped. You chose your man wisely."
You burned. A pit grew in your stomach as his words churned in your brain.
Arthur sidled up to Isaiah, smirking at the interaction between the two, his arm urging Isaiah away. 
A group pushed past you, between you and Isaiah, and you missed the interaction. The words garbled as it blended into the party and Arthur pushed Isaiah away from you. 
His words rang in your head, hurting your chest. He had been flirting with her. 
Tears stung your eyes that you quickly wiped away. Your jaw set. 
Well, if Isaiah wanted to sport, so could you.
You made your way through the house, picking up drinks and setting them down as you emptied them. Most of the Blinders had disappeared, off to some meeting you supposed. Oh well. Plenty of cavalrymen.
The young ones seemed game, but were so easily set off. The slightest cold shoulder and they hissed curses at you. The older the man, the worse his treatment of you. You quickly realized that you weren't even a woman in many of their eyes.
You quickly kept to the young ones, keeping it light and playful in hopes not to set them off. You danced with a few, trading uniforms when they started expecting things or lost their manners. As long as you smiled they were gracious enough when you left them.
"May I cut in?" A familiar voice asked. 
Before you could object, the uniform you had been dancing with politely handed you off to Isaiah. You scowled.
"Hey pretty girl," Isaiah said, wrapping his hand around yours and the other gripping your waist. His smile was soft as he looked down at you. 
"Sure you want to dance with me?" You asked briskly, earning a confused look. "I saw the girl, 'Zay. Be sure you choose your girl wisely."
He sighed as he spun you around. 
"She was asking for snow," he started. "John made it sound like you were home for the night with the kids."
"And you were flirting," you said, meeting his eyes. "Why are you here with me? Go find your tarte."
"You looked lonely, love," he said softly. "And you glow too brightly to have cavalrymen hands tainting you." 
"Who have you tainted tonight?" You asked tiredly, the anger leaving you slowly as you lost steam. "I thought we were together."
"We are," Isaiah urged, his nose rubbing against yours. "We are, love. There's no one in the world I'd rather dance with. Promise."
"I don't want to be left alone while you run off," you eyed him. "I'm not Esme, sitting with all the kids and hoping John comes home."
"If you ever get lonely, you'll have to be lonely with me, love," Isaiah said as he cupped your cheek and kissed you. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you."
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scxrlettwxtches · 4 years ago
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a crown of thorns | hwang hyunjin
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genre: royal au, fluff/angst, fem!reader
warnings: pregnancy, slight violence
description: a few years have passed since your tumultuous beginnings with the enemy king, hwang hyunjin, and to everyone’s astonishment, your marriage flourished with an abundance of love. however, this was not yet a happy ever after, and danger still lurks within every corner of your peaceful kingdom.
word count: 14.0k+
a/n: ack the more i read this, the worse it seems to get haha. but guys!! this is my last fic on this blog!! thank you again for all the love you’ve shown me and my writing. <3 wishing everyone all the best!! 
As he sat on his throne, absently chatting away with foreign envoys, Hwang Hyunjin considered himself rather lucky for a multitude of reasons.
All the princes and the lords sitting around the table, enjoying the tea and pastries, had everything one could want in the world. Endless fountains of wealth, resources, luxury. Whatever they desired, they only needed to snap their fingers, and someone would provide. It was the type of life many in his kingdom could only dream about in their wildest fantasies.
But, underneath the splendor, Hyunjin could see it as bright as day. Beneath the material luxury was discontentment, unease, unhappiness. Many of them were married to people that they did not love, were tied to their own wealth as it was the only sense of stability in their lives. And above all, Hyunjin could sense their loneliness, the invisible--yet deadly--disease that latched onto the heart and knawed at it until it was nothing but a shriveled remain. It was a poison that had no identifiable cure, and its affects only magnified as time went on.
Hyunjin could see it all because, once upon a time, he was just like them. Sitting on the throne, he was merely staring at reflections of his past self, a shell of a boy that was forced into a position of power too soon with too few people he could trust. He saw himself in the young lord that was visiting from across the sea, his eyes alight with ambition and a thirst to prove himself. He saw himself in the crown prince of the neighboring kingdom, the mistrust laced in every sip he took of his tea. He was like that once: scared, angry, betrayed, and alone.
But with a strange twist of fate, his life changed for the better. He found people he could trust. He met the love of his life. Unbelievably, he even married her, slowly earning her respect and eventually, her heart. And now, Hwang Hyunjin was no longer the boy with a crown too heavy and a life too lonely. He had people he cared about deeply, he had people he wanted to protect with his whole being. Especially…
“Papa! Papa!”
Hyunjin’s ears perked up as the large, ornate wooden doors of the hall creaked open ever so slightly, and a pitter patter of frantic footsteps bounded into the throne room. Almost immediately, he felt a smile grace his face, all the tension draining out of his posture as he gazed at the little girl, his darling daughter. 
Even the most stone-hearted envoys and esteemed guests could not hide their smiles as the girl ran excitedly towards her father, “Papa!” She giggled again, clumsily climbing up the steps to the throne.
Hyunjin’s heart fluttered with pride as he watched his daughter clamber up the marble steps, and for a split second, the image of her sitting on the throne as the next queen flashed across his mind. One baby step at a time, he reminded himself, and he stood up, easily picking up the girl as she gripped onto his sleeves.
“Naeun,” he brushed the baby hairs out of her face and smiled at her rosy cheeks. Time and time again, he was reminded of how much his daughter had begun to resemble the both of you. She had his doe eyes, but her smile, that was all you. 
The meeting became completely irrelevant to Hyunjin as he lavished all of his attention on her, “What are you doing here?”
Naeun, who was breathing heavily from all the running she had done, huffed and pouted rather sternly, “Mama said that if you stay in the office all night again, mama will dwag you back to the bedwoom.” 
Hyunjin fought the urge to laugh, utterly charmed by Naeun’s petulant words. How hard had she prepared to relay such a fiery message? He climbed up the remaining steps with the girl in his arms and sat back down comfortably on the throne, gently placing her on his lap.
“Papa is very sorry,” he said solemnly, bringing her little hand to his lips so he could kiss the back of it, making her giggle and squirm, “Did your mama send you here to tell me that?”
“Nope! But mama miss you!” Naeun replied brightly, and by this point, none of the guests were able to hide their endeared smiles and chuckles. Hyunjin felt a strange rush of both protectiveness and pride as he observed how easily Naeun had stolen the spotlight in the room with her joy and her innocence. It must be a father instinct that he was beginning to develop.
“Ah, mama misses me?” Hyunjin didn’t even know his heart was capable of containing such unbridled happiness and love as he smiled at his daughter. Naeun nodded firmly, and Hyunjin rubbed her back as he smoothed down her pretty princess dress, making sure she was comfortable before addressing the guests.
“My apologies for the interruption,” he said with perfect politeness, ever the ideal host. As expected, not many people were even the slightest bit annoyed by the disturbance, and they all waved off his apology, continuing the casual conversations about trade, finances, and commerce.
When it was all over, and Hyunjin was finally able to adjourn with all meetings and any other activities he’d scheduled to entertain his foreign guests, he eagerly walked down the hallways to the royal chambers, with Naeun safely nestled in his arms.
“Papa?”
“Yes, my little one?” He replied, letting her rest her chin on his shoulder.
“What’s fin..finan…” Naeun’s face scrunched up with effort as she tried to put the word back together from her memory. 
Hyunjin smiled fondly; he’d noticed her eagerly listening during the meeting, trying to soak in all the new knowledge that was coming her way. Naeun was good at de-escalating tensions, especially when she did her usual thing of barging into meetings without a care in the world, but Hyunjin also liked to let her stay in meetings because the little toddler seemed genuinely interested. She never seemed like she wanted to be anywhere else, only blinking from person to person with her large doe eyes. 
“Finance?” He supplied helpfully, and Naeun nodded into his shoulder, “It’s grown up stuff.”
“I like grown up stuff,” Naeun said with all the seriousness that a three year old could muster.
Hyunjin laughed, “I know you do, petal,” he hummed, thinking of a good way to explain the concept, “You know when you like to play house with your dolls and Uncle Changbin?”
Naeun immediately brightened at that. She loved playing house with Uncle Changbin! He was always a bit grumpy, a bit reluctant, but they always had a great tea party whenever her mama and papa were busy. 
“Mhm!”
“And you always like to trade certain dolls for the dolls that Changbin brings?” Hyunjin asked. Once again, he felt enormous gratitude to his personal commander, Seo Changbin, for going beyond the responsibilities of duty to take care of Naeun. As much as you and Hyunjin tried however you could to make time for her, with royal duties, parties, meetings, and work, it was just impossible to spend large amounts of time with your lovely daughter.
“Mhm! Uncle Changbin brings pwetty dolls!” Naeun nodded.
Hyunjin felt the smile grow on his face as he held her in his arms. He’d been smiling more often ever since Naeun was born, “Exactly. And you always have to give a few of your old ones to get the new, right? Or choose a few toys to give to Uncle Changbin so he can donate them to the capitol orphanages?”
Naeun only nodded curiously. 
“That, in a way, is finance. Of course, it’s a little more boring than trading dolls, though,” Hyunjin tickled her tummy with his finger, distracting her as she wiggled and squealed. Truth be told, Hyunjin didn’t want Naeun to grow up so quickly, even if that was all she wanted to do. Hyunjin didn’t remember anything from his childhood except textbooks, lectures, and a crushing pressure from his father and mother to live up to their expectations. He would never wish that upon his daughter.
After one more turn around the corner, they finally arrived at the Royal Chambers, with Changbin and Felix standing guard on both sides of the entrance. 
“Hi, Uncle Changbin! Hi, Uncle Lixie!” Despite their attempts to teach Naeun royal protocol about how to address the Kingsguard, she had little regard for it, opting to wave from the safety of her father’s arms. 
Changbin’s normally passive, almost grumpy expression melted ever so slightly as he waved back at her.  Despite his constant statements about not wanting to marry and not wanting to start a family, having Naeun made Hyunjin realize that his commander was surprisingly good with children. But if anyone so much as mentioned it, Changbin would deny any evidence of such allegations. Felix, on the other hand, was absolutely besotted with the little girl and made no attempts to hide it.
“Hi, little princess!” He smiled, opening the doors to the most private section of the palace. Hyunjin chuckled, nodding respectfully to both men before walking in. 
“Now, where’s your mama?” Hyunjin murmured. Of course, you were supposed to be in the bedroom, but Hyunjin knew you better than that. 
Naeun giggled, as if she knew you were breaking some sort of rule, and pointed to the study, “There!” 
“Thank you, petal,” Hyunjin booped her nose fondly before walking into the study, creaking the door open slowly as not to startle you. 
Every time his eyes fell to you, he would be swept with a newfound love that was stronger and more powerful than the time before. Even though your back was turned slightly away, and he could only see the slight curve of your lips and the profile of you from the side, Hyunjin knew without a doubt that you were the most beautiful woman in the world. 
You didn’t seem to notice your family walking in, lost in thought as you stared at the window, a piece of parchment in your hand. Hyunjin smiled, knowing how concentrated you can get when it came to state affairs. He put a finger to his lips, indicating to his daughter to be quiet. Naeun covered her mouth with her little hands, nodding as he very gently placed her on the fluffy carpet so she could play with the toys on the ground.
“I believe the doctor’s orders were for you to stay in bed?” Hyunjin murmured softly as he gently draped a woolen shawl over your shoulders, his arms snaking around you from behind. Maybe you did know he was around, since you didn't seem startled by his presence and only smiled as his hands rested on your tummy.
“We have guests in our palace. How can I stay in bed when there’s so much to do?” You replied, leaning into his arms and physically relaxing against him.
“You can just leave the work to me,” Hyunjin pouted a little, feeling guilty that he wasn’t able to handle the entire burden of royal duties. He couldn’t when you were pregnant with Naeun, and he couldn’t now. His hands rubbed your tummy through the silk nightgown as he gently placed his chin on your shoulder, murmuring, “It’s not good for the baby…”
Every time Hyunjin touched your tummy, it made you airy with disbelief and awe at how fortunate you were to have him. When you were a princess, long long ago, you’d never expected yourself to look forward to starting a family. But with Hyunjin, Naeun brought so much joy in your lives that neither of you could help but want another, and your prayers were answered when you became pregnant again around the time Naeun turned three. 
Part of why you were willing was because it awed you every time you saw how much Hyunjin cared. You knew how kings were, always drowning in their work, their duty, which always led them to crave independence, and then occasionally, turning to other women than their lawful wife. You knew that was the norm. Care, much less love, was something that royal women would be lucky to have.
Yet, Hyunjin gave it to you in the spades. Hyunjin cared, Hyunjin loved so much. You saw it every time he looked at you, you saw it every time he would gingerly place the crown upon your head before formal gatherings. You saw it every time he’d keep you close at parties, made sure everyone knew how much he valued you and your opinion. You saw it every time he looked at Naeun, his eyes sparkling with childlike wonder that could only be reflected in your daughter’s own eyes.
And now, with the two of you expecting another child, you saw it in his fretting, his worrying, his constant attempts to keep you safe and healthy, even if he was a little overbearing.
“The doctor never said a little bit of work would harm the baby,” you pointed out, tilting your head back to look into his eyes as you cupped his cheek, “I’m checking myself, I promise.”
“I’m sure you are,” Hyunjin chuckled, and he could no longer stop himself, his lips pressing against  yours in a gentle kiss as he hugged you. You only hummed happily against his lips, enjoying the moment when you were suddenly interrupted.
“Yuckie!” Naeun squeaked out, causing both of you to pull away with a laugh. The princess was sitting on the ground with a soft plushie in her arms as she looked at her parents with disgust.
You burst into giggles, pulling away from Hyunjin to walk over to her, “Yuckie? It’s yuckie that your parents are in love?” You asked teasingly, pinching her cheek. Naeun giggled, trying to run away as Hyunjin suddenly lifted her up from behind, placing her in his lap.
“Kisses are yuckie!” She squealed, making both of you laugh as Hyunjin tickled her tummy.
Hyunjin smiled, chuckling, “Don’t ever let me catch you kissing someone else,” he warned. In all honesty, the idea of his precious daughter falling in love made his blood boil unreasonably. Especially in the royal realm, it was so hard to determine which ones were good and which ones were only hiding behind the mask of benevolence. Just the thought of Naeun falling in love, Naeun getting her heart broken by some good for nothing prince…
“My love,” Hyunjin’s eyes widened as he felt a gentle hand on his arm. You smiled fondly, almost as you already knew exactly what he was thinking, as you always did, “Baby steps, alright? She’s not at that age yet.”
“Baby steps!” Naeun chorused, although oblivious to the conversation at hand. 
Hyunjin felt himself relax, and he engulfed his daughter in a big hug, letting her snuggle into his chest, “Yes, baby steps,” he murmured as he left a kiss in her hair.
.
“What do you mean, they won’t allow it?” You asked angrily, following Hyunjin into his study as he ran a frantic hand through his hair.
Hyunjin sank into his chair, frustration clear in his face as he glanced up at you, “The letter from the council came back. Apparently, there were some strong voices of protest, and eventually they decided to rule against it. They won’t accept Naeun as the heir.”
“That’s ridiculous!” You snapped, feeling steam practically radiating from your ears, “She’s the eldest child, our first born! They've had three years to observe her, and she's performed well in all subjects. She’s practically a genius!" 
You whirled around, tightening the shawl around your frame as you made up your mind to go to the council yourself when Hyunjin rushed over, intercepting you as he gently grabbed your arms, “Y/N, my darling,” you shook your head, not in the mood for his cajoling and gentle attention.
“I’m going to talk to them. They were relenting a couple months ago! I don’t see why--”
“Hey, hey, breathe,” Hyunjin’s voice was suddenly stern, his hands running up and down your back to soothe you, “Calm down, love. Please. Think of the baby.”
You froze, the fight beginning to drain out of you as you tried to take deep breaths. Hyunjin’s hand trailed to your wrist, subtly taking note of your pulse to ensure that you were still alright. 
“I know you’re angry. So am I,” Hyunjin spoke, stepping closer to you and cupping your face in his gentle hands. Your eyes closed at his touch, feeling his warm embrace as his comforting presence, “But we need to deal with this slowly. There are foreign envoys still here, remember? We can’t go barging around the palace like we normally do, not until they leave.”
You huffed, knowing that Hyunjin was right, but still feeling churlishly angry at the news, “So we just wait?”
“We’ll discuss it once more when the council meeting is held again,” Hyunjin suggested, brushing a strand of hair away from your face, “I’m sure they’ll cave. Naeun is a perfect contender, the perfect candidate for the next heir. She’s just not what they’re used to.”
“And what are they used to? A son?” You said mockingly, your anger fueled by the ridiculous laws that were still in place. Your kingdom had long since done away with such petty things as male only rules, but it seemed like Hyunjin's kingdom was a little more traditional. 
“Yes, and you know how stubborn they are about it” Hyunjin murmured, palming your stomach, “They’re waiting for this little one.”
“They don’t even know if it’s going to be a boy,” you scoffed, but you could feel yourself relaxing in Hyunjin’s arms. The two of you were so alike and yet so different. Hyunjin was the cooling water to your raging firestorm. And you were the spark that light his ice cold heart alight with love for the first time all those years ago.
Hyunjin hummed at your comment, gently nuzzling his nose against your cheek, “I think it will be. Otherwise, I'd be awfully outnumbered in this family,” he said softly, kissing your cheek as he continued, “But no matter. I still want my precious Naeun to be the crown princess. The council just has stick up their ass.”
“Hyunjin!” You slapped his arm, pulling away to walk towards his study, sitting in the chair as you felt the baby kick once again.
The king only laughed at your glare, immediately rushing to your side as he took your hand, “The baby’s bothering you again, huh?” He asked, his eyes filled with wonder as he stared at your tummy. It was a silent, yet rather apparent question to you, asking whether he had permission to touch. It was almost adorable how childishly excited Hyunjin would get at the thought of his own children.
You gently placed his hand over the fabric of your dress, right over where you’d felt a slight kick just before, “It’s not a bother,” you said gently, “How can it be a bother when it reassures me that our child is safe and healthy?”
Hyunjin’s expression was nothing short of entranced as he felt a push against the palm of his hand, “I love you,” he murmured as he glanced at you, and he leaned forward to press his cheek against your tummy, to which you only smiled fondly and ran a hand through his hair.
“I love them, too,” he spoke to your stomach, as he had no doubt that your unborn child would hear it and know just how much their father cared.
The two of you stayed in that position, basking in the monetary relaxation for a moment longer, your hands gently running through his hair as he rested his head on your lap. It was definitely not a position that either of you would want to be caught in, but Hyunjin found himself rather fond of it, being able to let go of his responsibilities and rely on you for comfort without being anxious. 
You sat for a moment longer before a particular piece of parchment on Hyunjin's desk caught your eye, and you quickly reached for it as your husband continued to rest comfortably on your lap.
“There’s a party tomorrow night?” You asked, scanning the contents over as your free hand gently carded through his hair.
“Mhm, the envoys are leaving the morning after, so it has to be grand,” Hyunjin mumbled lazily in return, his eyes shut from mild exhaustion.
You hummed, putting the parchment down as you said softly, “If it’s the final dinner, shouldn’t I be there? I haven’t seen any of our guests except on the first day. It would be impolite if I missed the last event, too.”
“No,” Hyunjin’s grip tightened imperceptibly as he gently held your waist, lifting his head up to meet your eyes, “They understand your situation. It’s only natural that you haven’t been at all the events,” he said firmly, his hand absently moving towards your stomach.
“It’s still impolite. I should probably go,” you said softly, resting your hand over his, “We don’t want our guests to leave with a bad taste in their mouth.” 
Hyunjin looked uncertain, his eyes pleading with you as he pressed his lips to your knuckles, “If something happens…”
“Nothing will happen, my darling,” you cooed, trying to reassure your love as you sensed his fear. Hyunjin, underneath his cold words and powerful gaze, was just as human as any other man.
“It’s just a party. I won’t even dance, alright?” You continued with a cajoling smile, brushing your thumb against his cheek bone, “I just have to be there, Hyunjin. It’s my duty.” 
Hyunjin’s eyes fluttered shut as he melted against your touch, leaning his cheek into your hand and sighing softly, “I know I can’t change your mind,” he said, “You’re just stubborn like that, and I love it more than you know. But it scares me so much.” 
“It scares you?” You repeated his words, waiting patiently for him to elaborate. 
The king nodded, looking so vulnerable in your arms that you were afraid he’d break, “What if something happens? What if, one day, you overestimate yourself and you lose the baby? Or worse,” Hyunjin kissed your palm, holding your wrist in his hand as he gazed upon you with more pain in his eyes than you’ve ever seen.
“What if I lose you, too?”
Your heart shattered at the fear and the sheer amount of unconditional love that glistened in his eyes whenever they met yours, “Oh, Hyunjin,” you sighed, leaning forward to be closer to him, “It won't come to that.”
But Hyunjin couldn't hear reason at this point, frightening himself as he held your hand, “I can't rule this kingdom without you, without your love. You're the first happiness I've ever had in this lifetime.” 
“Hyunjin, you can and you have,” you argued, reaching to lace your fingers with his, “You were ruling wonderfully before we met.”
“It's not the same, darling, and you know it,” Hyunjin answered, kissing the pulse point of your wrist daintily, “You made me a better person and a better king.”
You couldn't help but smile adoringly, reaching your other hand to run your fingers through his soft hair, “I'm glad. You made my life happier than I ever dreamed it could be.”
Hyunjin sighed, melting into your touch. As always, he felt weightless in your arms, free of burden and responsibility. He didn't have to think of anything but you and him.
But alas, there was still a problem at hand. 
“Do you really want to attend the party?” He asked softly into the fabric of your dress, one of the comfortable ones he'd ordered to be specially made for you when the two of you discovered that you were expecting a second time.
“I do, Hyunjin. I think it's best that I take my place beside you, at least once before they leave. It'll quell any rumors about us and about my supposed ill health,” you explained your reasoning, understanding Hyunjin’s doubts but still feeling strongly about going all the same.
Hyunjin’s eyes opened slowly and he nodded in resignation as he stood up, “Alright. I won't stop you. But, my love, at least let me assign Changbin and Felix to you as your guards for the night.”
“Both of them?” You asked, standing up slowly to maintain your balance. Hyunjin didn't leave your side for a moment, holding your arm in case you fell, “Isn't that a bit much?” 
“It would make me less anxious to know you're well guarded,” Hyunjin pleaded with you, fixing the shawl around your shoulders as the two of you walked out of the study. It was already quite late in the evening, with Naeun having been sent to bed long before. 
Your fingers intertwined naturally, and the two of you headed to your chambers, ready for a long night's rest, “Alright, assign both of them to me,” you relented, “I still think it’s a bit overkill.”
“You’d be walking around the town without a single guard if we went with what you thought was overkill,” Hyunjin chuckled, beginning to shed his uniform.
“Not true,” you protested weakly as you climbed into bed, already in your nightgown.
Hyunjin joined you soon after, engulfing you in his arms and his comforting scent as you let out a sigh of contentment, burrowing in his embrace, “Let’s get some rest, alright?” You said, sleepiness laced in your voice as you hummed softly, “I love you.”
“I love you, too, my darling,” Hyunjin murmured his response without a moment of hesitation, as if he’d been waiting all his life to tell you, “so much.”
.
Parties were hectic enough already, even more so when you had a hyperactive toddler to manage on top of the plethora of things that could already go wrong, from the banquet food to the entertainment. 
"Weeee!" Naeun squealed, running around the bedroom like a madman and trying to escape changing into her party dress. 
Before she could slip away, you managed to snag an arm around her waist, lifting her into your arms with a grunt, “Where do you think you're going, little princess?”
Naeun pouted, whining as she wiggled in your grasp, “Want to go play! Want to find papa!” She said with a huff. 
“Papa is busy right now,” you said patiently as you gently plopped her on the bed, trying to help her out of her nightgown while Naeun fussed, obviously not wanting to do as she was told.
“But I want to play with papa!” She protested as she eventually lifted her arms, letting you help her change. 
You sighed as you helped her into the beautiful golden dress, the fabric laced with ruffles and sparkling thread that was fit for any little princess.
“Papa is a little busy, alright?” You spoke gently, trying to make your lecture sound less like a scolding and more of an explanation, “There have been guests in Mama and Papa's home for the last few days, and Papa has been busy taking care of them.”
“B-but...what about me?” Naeun’s lower lip quivered dramatically, and you fought the urge to smile at how utterly adorable she was, “Papa take care of me!”
“You don't think Papa takes care of you?” You asked, raising an eyebrow, “Papa spends all his free time with you, Naeunie. Papa takes caring for you very, very seriously.”
Naeun pouted still, her lip jutting out petulantly, but she let her head fall. Even for a three year old, the little girl was awfully perceptive, and knew when she'd lost an argument. And in her heart of hearts, she knew that her parents really did move heaven and earth to make her their top priority.
“Papa no stop taking care of me?” She asked softly as you buttoned the pearl clasp around her collar.
“No, my little one,” you answered with a gentle smile as you fixed her hair, “Papa and Mama will always take care of you. When this is all over, how about we stay a week at the summer residence? Just you, papa and me, and we'll have all the time in the world to play with you.”
Naeun gasped, bouncing on the bed, “Weally? Just us?”
“If you want, you can drag your Uncle Changbin to come with us, too,” you said slyly as you booped her nose, but instead of scrunching her face playfully as she always did, Naeun suddenly looked ashamed, head tilted downward as if she’d done something naughty and then felt guilty about it after the fact.
You were immediately concerned, “Little one?” You prodded, gently trying to tilt her chin up so she’d look at you, “Little one, what’s happened? You can tell Mama anything.”
Naeun hiccuped slightly, and your heart ached as you realized that she was on the verge of tears, “Mama, ‘m sorry,” she mumbled softly, eyes glittering with unshed tears and you quickly sat on the bed, pulling her into your lap.
“Why are you sorry, Naeunie?” You asked, trying not to sound frantic, worried, or anything that might frighten her more.
“Papa said Mama is tired, and that I shouldn’t bother Mama,” Naeun explained, large droplets beginning to roll down her rosy cheeks as she wailed, “But I’ve been bad bad! I make Mama worry!”
You tried to stifle your incredulous laughter as your daughter clung onto you, wailing dramatically as if the world was about to end. So that was what got her so worked up all of a sudden.
“Silly little thing,” you teased, cradling her in your arms as best you could with the bump of your stomach getting in the way. Still, you nuzzled your nose against her cheek, wiping her tears, “It’s mama’s job to worry. You’re a perfectly good girl, Naeunie. Mama and Papa are so lucky to have a precious girl like you.”
Naeun’s shoulders slowly began to shake as she rubbed her eyes, “Like me?” She repeated, a tinge of innocent hope and adoration laced in her voice that always raised your protective instincts, the instinct to shield her from any harm that this world could throw at her.
You smiled, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear as you spoke softly, “Just like you. Mama and Papa love you to the moon and back.” 
“And I love Mama and Papa, too! So so muchie!” Naeun parroted back happily, smiling with all the life and brightness that both you and Hyunjin lacked in your own childhoods. Maybe that was why the two of you were so determined to be there for Naeun in every way possible, to make sure that she knew she was so very loved. Because neither of you received that type of acceptance when you were children.
“Good girl,” you said, kissing her forehead once more before smoothing down her dress, “Are you ready to go?”
“Mm!” She nodded, clambering off the bed and standing tall, “Will Papa be at party, too?”
“Your papa is already there,” you chuckled to yourself, taking your daughter’s little hand and heading out of the bedroom.
Outside, both Felix and Changbin were waiting for you, dressed impeccably for the formal occasion. In normal circumstances, it would only be one of them waiting for you while the other guarded Hyunjin, but the king had not allowed any exceptions. Both of the strongest in the Kingsguard must be by your side for the day.
“Sorry for the wait,” you said to both of them as Naeun slipped away from you, skipping over to her two uncles, going especially for one in particular.
“Uncle Changbin, Uncle Changbin!” The man grunted as he caught her in his arms, shifting so she was eye level with him, her bright smile contrasting with his typical frown.
Felix walked with you as Changbin and Naeun entered their own little world, with the young toddler prattling his ears off and the commander listening with surprising attentiveness, “She plays favorites,” Felix complained playfully, clutching a hand to his heart as he stayed by your side.
“She definitely does,” you agreed with a fond smile, keeping an eye on your daughter as you walked down the halls, a hand resting on your tummy as you glanced at the man beside you, “Hyunjin is at the party, right? How is he doing?”
“When will the two of you ever not worry about one another?” Felix laughed, shaking his head, “Hyunjin caught me on the way up to your bedroom, asking about you as well.”
You shrugged, the sound and clamor of crowds and partying beginning to be apparent as you neared the ballroom, “That’s just married life, Felix. Trying to put the other person before yourself,” you glanced at him, the gaze in your eyes shifting into something more mischievous as you opened your mouth, “And maybe, you--”
“Nope! Not happening!” Felix interrupted you cheerfully, “You and His Majesty have just been on my ass about it, and it’s not happening!”
“Oh, but Lixie,” you laughed with him, taking his arm as you walked down the marble steps, “it’s really not all that bad!”
Felix’s gaze was soft as he gently patted your hand. He’d been assigned to the Kingsguard right around the time you were crowned Queen, and there was a sort of camaraderie that formed between the two of you from trying to navigate the ups and downs of palace life. He was a good confidante, and you very much valued his happiness.
“I’m happy here,” he said gently, looking into your eyes with his bright and genuine ones, “I’m happy looking after people that I care about. And for now, I don’t ever want to lose that.” 
You sighed, a smile gracing your face as you shook your head, “Alright. But if you ever change your mind…”
“You and His Majesty would be the first to know,” Felix promised.
The doors swung open, and the crowd quickly stood at attention as you entered the ballroom. Your gaze hardened ever so slightly, and your posture shifted, taking the persona of the respected queen that you were to the eyes of your people. Before you were a mother, or a wife, you were a symbol, an anchor of virtue.
Even Naeun was on her best behavior as she walked down with Changbin, holding his little pinky as she climbed down the steps. She seemed to sense her own importance, and did her very best not to mess up, making you break character for a moment as you smiled.
Your eyes caught sight of your husband standing near the throne, and his eyes twinkled with adoration when your gazes met. He put down his glass of champagne, quickly gliding through the room to receive you.
“God, he’s whipped for you, Your Majesty,” Felix muttered under his breath, “Does the honeymoon period never end--ow!” A discrete finger jab to the side was enough to shut him up.
Hyunjin’s smile was small and hidden, reserved just for your eyes as you made it to the bottom step, “Don’t you look beautiful, my Queen,” he murmured, chastely kissing the back of your hand before pecking your lips.
“Jinnie, not here,” you scolded lightly, letting him take your hand as Naeun rushed over, the crowd cooing with delight. Naeun had only been present in a handful of engagements before this particular party, and the people were still fully immersed in baby fever, entranced by the little girl.
“Papa!” She jumped at him, your husband bending down and catching her easily.
“Oh, my little petal!” His smile was bright as he held her securely, spinning her around, “Ready for dinner?”
“Mhm!” Naeun nodded, but not before placing a big kiss on her father’s cheek, “Miss you!”
You couldn’t help but giggle, watching as the princess’s actions completely melted the crowed. She was definitely a natural. You remembered what you were like as a three year-old, scared, terrified, and always trying to hide behind your mother’s skirt even as she forced you to be independent. 
Naeun didn’t need that push, and you were grateful.
Hyunjin carried Naeun in one arm and escorted you with the other. Your eyes scanned the room, automatically taking note of certain esteemed guests and nobles. In the edge of the room, you noticed a few council members sitting together at a table, refusing to stand at attention for your entrance. 
"Is everything ready?" You asked as you carefully sat down beside Hyunjin, "The dinner, the entertainment-" 
“It’s all done,” Hyunjin smiled, pecking your lips before he placed Naeun in her chair beside his golden one, making sure she was sitting still, “Nothing to worry about.”
You smiled, grateful that your husband was so accommodating and willing to handle so much of the work while you needed your rest. Gesturing to one of the maids, you waved your hand, requesting her to start ushering the guests to their seats as food was about to be served.
As you continued to observe the room, making sure everything was running smoothly, you felt a gentle hand take yours, rubbing it soothingly.
“I haven’t seen you all day. I missed you,” Hyunjin murmured into your ear, making you blush slightly. Even after all these years, his forwardness always flustered you, made you feel like a giddy young princess rather than an experienced queen.
“Hyunjin, come on...not here,” you whispered back, letting his hand glide to your stomach, hidden from everyone’s view by the table in front of you. 
“I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” Hyunjin protested in a playful tone, gently patting your tummy before pulling away and gaining back some of his kingly aura right as the first dishes were served.
The banquet went without much of a hitch, to your relief. The atmosphere was overall genial and it didn’t seem like any of your guests had malicious intentions. Hyunjin, of course, grew a little ruffled when one of the young boys from the envoy’s family, no older than five, asked to dance with Naeun, but you argued that it was rather endearing to see the children stumble around the dance floor.
“Mama, that was really fun!” Naeun reported happily when she was sitting back in her seat, her hair slightly messy from twirling so much, “Want to do it again!”
“Never, not while I’m still alive,” Hyunjin muttered, rubbing his eyes halfheartedly as the memory of his precious little girl dancing with a boy replayed in his head. 
You laughed at the two of them, reaching over to fix Naeun’s hairdo so she didn’t look like an absolute mess for the rest of the evening, “I think your father wouldn’t be very happy with that,” you said teasingly, kissing her forehead just as the crown prince approached your table with a glass of fine wine in his hand.
“Your Majesties,” he spoke respectfully, exuding the perfect mixture of gracefulness and charisma as he bowed, “If I could do the honor of making a toast for the occasion?”
Of course, the request was posed as a question, merely to play to the ego and the pride of the hosts, but a toast was usually not something you could refuse. Doing so meant bad blood, tensions, potential rifts in foreign relations. Besides, the prince didn’t look malicious; you normally had a good sense of intuition about people, and the man standing before you and Hyunjin didn’t raise any red flags.
Hyunjin didn’t seem to sense anything either, and with a courteous smile, he waved his hand in agreement, “The trade deals we’ve made this time around are definitely a reason for celebration,” he said, “Although, I’ll have to drink on behalf of the Queen as well.”
The prince smiled at that, gesturing to one of his servants as they walked towards the table, bringing two gold encrusted wine glasses towards you, “We would never want to leave Her Majesty out. In consideration of her pregnancy, I’ve brought a specialty drink created from a fruit that is grown only in our country. It is harmless to the body, and said to bring good health and longevity to expecting mothers.”
Gasps and noises of approval filled the air as you tilted your head inquisitively, looking at the wine glass being presented to you. You could feel Hyunjin’s hesitancy, and you studied the prince’s expression carefully, but there really didn’t seem to be anything wrong. There wasn’t any point in making a big fuss over nothing.
Delicately, your fingers wrapped around the glass, picking it up and looking at the orange liquid. Hyunjin watched you carefully before doing the same with his glass, which held red wine like everyone else.
The prince smiled, relief obvious in his posture as he held up his own glass. He obviously had worried that you might reject the gift, thinking that it overstepped boundaries. 
“May our kingdoms stay allies through peace and through strife. To friendship!”
The crowd chorused the sentiment as you merely lifted the glass to your mouth, the liquid just about to touch your lips when you froze.
That scent. You remembered it when your physician had warned you against certain plants that were harmful to your body. As the queen of two nations, you were an obvious target, and there was never any telling with when someone with a cruel heart could slip a poison into your food or water. The scent was almost imperceptible, but you knew it was there.
Someone was trying to poison you, and they chose the most opportune time to do so.
Watching as the prince and your husband both downed their glasses, your brain was working a mile a minute, scrambling for a way out. You could you say outright that there was poison in the glass. That would put both your own staff and your guests in a terrible position. You didn’t have any proof that it was actually the prince who was trying to harm you, and making those accusations would all but tear the alliance apart. 
Your heart must’ve been pounding so loudly that the people around you could hear. You kept your face placidly calm as you decided on your course of action, and very subtly tapped your finger against the wine glass three times, a signal that Changbin had taught you in order to alert the Kingsguard of danger.
Both Changbin and Felix saw your movement, and so did Hyunjin out of the corner of his eye. He turned, his expression slowly morphing into shocked anger, something you had not wanted to happen. Thinking quickly, you pretended to choke, coughing up a storm as you managed to put the glass down.
Felix walked forward and was beside you in an instant, catching on to your actions. He handed you a handkerchief, gently patting your back as Changbin was also by your side, a concerned expression crossing his face as he stood guard.
“Are you alright, Your Majesty?” Felix asked, keeping the attention on you as he discreetly slid the glass to the side, letting Changbin collect it and take it away, ensuring that it was as far away from you as possible.
“Y-yes,” you smiled shakily, pressing the handkerchief against your lips, “Just got startled when the baby kicked.”
The people around you, Hyunjin and Felix, instantly saw through your lie, but knew better than to question your words when everyone’s eyes were on you. You finally glanced at your husband, your anxiety spiking when you saw the way he looked at you, eyes filled with uncontrollable fury. 
Someone had really tried to hurt you, really tried to take his happiness right out from his grasp.
You placed a hand on his, and gave it a warning squeeze, “I’m alright, love, there’s no need to fret,” you cooed, putting on a show of calming him down so that his anger might be taken as anxiety instead.
Hyunjin caught onto your cues, and did his best to control the murderous emotions threatening to bubble out of his chest. Luckily enough, there was another distraction that waddled over, effectively putting the whole situation at rest.
“Mama! Are you alright?” Naeun ran over, her expression overly worried as she stood beside you, her little hands grabbing blindly for you and wanting to be held. As she was watching her Uncle Changbin, she’d panicked when he did, automatically thinking that something bad had happened to her mother.
“Oh, my little one, nothing happened. See?” You comforted her, bringing her hands to your cheeks as you smiled, “Mama is fine.”
“My deepest apologies, Your Majesty!” The prince stammered out as you gently placed Naeun in your lap, giving into her cries to be close to you, “I did not mean to cause you harm. Not in the slightest.”
“And you did not,” you spoke gracefully, a hand lightly squeezing your husband’s leg under the table as you took control of the conversation, sensing that the man was no longer thinking rationally. Hyunjin already suspected the prince as the main culprit, and any words that would leave his mouth from here on would be far from pleasant.
You smiled serenely, looking at the prince, “There was no harm done. Pregnancies are always unpredictable.”
The prince nodded, his expression still anxious as he excused himself and took his seat back with his family. Looking at his frazzled expression, the idea that the person who was looking to poison you was less likely to be him.
“Hyunjin, snap that glare off your face. People are beginning to notice,” you hissed in his ear as people began to dance and mingle now that the dinner part of the banquet was done. Naeun was still in your arms, having fallen asleep. It was far past her normal bed time, after all.
But Hyunjin’s fury was just barely contained, “How can I? Someone tried to hurt you, Y/N. Someone tried to do so right before my very eyes, right under the noses of our Kingsguard,” he spoke under his breath, the cold glint in his eyes growing stronger with every moment. The Hwang Hyunjin of old, the ruthless king that ruled without mercy, was returning, and you needed to stop him quickly.
“Making a ruckus will not serve us any good,” you said softly, continuing to bounce Naeun lightly on your lap.
“He needs to know what happens if he hurts a member of the royal family,” Hyunjin’s glare shifted to the prince, who was dancing with his wife amongst the crowd.
“It isn’t him, Hyunjin,” you took his hand, lacing your fingers together, “I’m sure it isn’t.”
“Then who?” He rounded on you, eyes filled with pain and anger as he tried to hide it from nosy onlookers, leaning closer to press a kiss to the crown of your head, “Who would dare hurt the most precious person in my life?”
“I don’t know, Hyunjin. But now isn’t the time to play detective. Let’s get through this party first, alright?” You asked soothingly just as Naeun shifted in your arms, mumbling.
“Papa…”
Hyunjin faltered at that weak cry, and you smiled in relief as you carefully handed Naeun to her father. The king held her in his lap, using her as his anchor. 
"Oh, my little petal," he sighed, letting the girl slump into his chest as she slept soundly, unaware of the turmoil raging through her father's heart. Hyunjin held her close, kissing her hair, and you were able to observe the party absently, letting yourself calm down after a near experience with death.
Who could've done it? The very idea of lacing the queen's drink with poison, and quite possibly starting a war in the process, would scare almost anyone away. It had to be someone with much more to gain from the incident, someone that feels sure enough of their position that they see the act through knowing it could never be traced back to them. 
You sat in relative silence for the rest of the evening, choosing to observe rather than participate as the guests enjoyed the many festivities you'd planned for the evening. One particular man, sitting at the table to your right, who looked suspiciously upset for such a joyous occasion, caught your eye. 
His motives certainly aligned, and he was of high enough status that he probably didn't even have to personally orchestrate any of it to happen. 
Could it be...? There was only one way to quell your suspicions. 
The party ended uneventfully, and soon, many of the guests began to trickle out of the palace gates, ready to retire for the night. One man opted to take a less crowded route back to his estate, cutting through the palace passageways instead of braving the cold and the people. After all, he was no longer in a sociable mood after the events of the night. 
He should've  known it wasn't going to be so easy. The queen was not only royalty, she was an experienced general as well. It shouldn't have been such a surprise that she sniffed out the little surprise so easily. 
Still, even if it was to be expected, it was still a disappointment. If only she wasn't around, things would be so much simpler. He would've been able to further secure his position, maybe even take control of the military. Oh, the possibilities for him were endless if only- 
"General Lee Minho. It's quite late for you to still be here in my palace." 
If only you weren't around to stop him. 
Maintaining his composure, Minto turned around, giving you a perfect bow, "Your Majesty, I didn't mean to impose. I was merely trying to get home-" 
"Why did you do it?" 
Never one to beat around the bush, were you? 
Minho gave you a saccharine smile, his heart still relatively at ease. You had no proof. There was nothing that could connect the act to him. 
"Your Majesty, I don't believe I understand." 
It must've been the wrong thing to say. Your eyebrow raised inquisitively, and you took a step forward, your eyes cold and unwavering. You must've learned a thing or two from your besotted husband.  
"You're a cunning man, General. Our kingdoms profit off your intellect and your strategy," you said, looking straight into his own unflinching gaze.
"In fact, your cunning is the only reason you are still alive." 
The air seemed to grow thinner in an instant, and the pleasantries all but faded from Minho’s expression. You weren't inquiring, you knew it was him. This encounter was merely icing on the cake for you. The general was suddenly aware that the halls were completely empty save for the two of you, and there was not a sound to be heard. Not the sounds of a servant fetching water, or a maid finishing up her errands. Nothing.
Minho pursed his lips, giving you an unreadable gaze, “I wouldn't advise threatening me in your condition,” he commented, eyes falling deliberately to the swell of your stomach.
You couldn't help but smile in amusement at his thinly veiled threat, “I assure you, General, I am perfectly safe.”
“Oh?” Minho raised an eyebrow at your words, “And I suppose one of your two dogs that you call the Kingsguard is hiding just around the corner, waiting for a movement that would put you in danger before cutting me down.”
The silence screamed under the midnight sky, and the candles illuminating the hallway seemed to flicker as your smile turned icy.
“Do you really think I need Felix to intercede in order for me to kill you?”
Your words were barely audible, and could've easily passed as the murmurings of the wind, but for the first time, Minho didn't feel safe. There was something about the glint in your eyes, the way you stood before him like a storm just waiting to tear through him. 
All this time, Minho had not worried about the consequences of his actions. He did not believe that you were in a position to raise a finger at him, especially since the nobles were on his side. You were the former princess of a foreign kingdom, after all. You were the disadvantaged one here. If anything, he was worried what the king might do if his plot was discovered, knowing and having witnessed Hyunjin’s merciless punishments to those that defied him.
But standing before you, alone and without the bravado of his typical entourage, Minho realized. It was you that he should've feared. 
There was not an ounce of humanity, affection, or care in your eyes. The loving queen that had just been cradling her daughter in her arms earlier that night had all but slipped away. Standing before him was a battle-hardened warrior, a woman who had experienced too much suffering to ever go through it again, no matter what it took.
“What do you want from me?” Minho said, his innocent facade fading completely as he finally caved, the hatred seeping into his eyes as he glared at you.
“I want answers, and you will give them to me. If you don't know, which I doubt will be the case, you will direct me to someone who does.”
Minho’s jaw clenched, feeling the growing panic and fury clawing up his chest as he stood before you, with no more cards to play, “Alright.”
“Alright?” You raised an eyebrow, the simplest action laced with an unspoken threat.
“Alright, Your Majesty,” Minho sneered, wanting nothing more than to pull out his hidden blade and run it cleanly through your throat. He knew better though, especially since he was sure Felix had his eyes trained on him, ready to strike.
“Who else is in on this?”
“A few of the lords were vaguely aware that I was plotting something, but they did not actively participate in the act.”
“Were your actions supported?”
Looking down to the side, he muttered, “There were a few people that did not agree on my methods, but still want you removed.”
“Naeun. Is she in danger?” You asked sharply, for the first time, feeling a spike of fear hit you. If there was someone willing to murder your unborn child, you suspected that Naeun would not be safe either.
To your relief, Minho shook his head, “Not that I know of.”
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. As long as you and your child were relatively safe, you could continue the interrogation more seriously, “You laced my drink with poison, but it was not a large enough dosage to cause death. Why?”
“Your death would effectively sever any alliance between my kingdom and yours,” Minho gritted his teeth as he spoke, as if you were physically pulling out every single word from his mouth, “As much as I despise your kingdom for starting that useless war, I am not arrogant enough to deny that our alliance has benefited both of us greatly.”
“So you wanted my child,” you snarled lowly, your hand unconsciously reaching to touch your stomach as if protecting it, “You wanted me to miscarry.”
Minho smiled, all daggers and fangs as he replied, “If your baby didn't make it, you won't have a male heir. You would most likely have a harder time conceiving, and we'd be able to supply His Majesty with a suitable mistress.”
You stared at Minho, the pieces falling together in your mind as you thought of every moment when the general had tried to undermine you, make your comments less received by actively criticizing them, or scorn you for your status as a foreigner.
“You wanted me to lose favor with Hyunjin,” you concluded, feeling almost disappointed by the turn of events. No matter what kingdom, the power hungry were always the same, tearing down others for their own benefit. Doesn’t the battle for control ever get tiring for them?
Minho barked out a scathing laugh, “Of course I wanted you to lose favor with him. I wanted him to resent you, to hate you, to see you for what you really are, a viper hidden beneath that pretty, pretty face of yours.”
“Why?” You asked, genuinely confused, “Why must you go so far to stop me--to stop him--from being happy?”
“You think he’s happy?” The general scoffed, and against his better judgement, he took a threatening step towards you. The expression on your face barely twitched, but Minho could suddenly feel a murderous aura coming from behind him, and he knew better than to push his luck.
“Do you really think he’s happy?” Minho laughed, “You destroyed him, Your Majesty. You turned him soft. We were going to build the greatest, most ruthless empire the continent has ever known. And suddenly, after he met you, he decided to stop conquering, to take care of his people, to take care of your people after you lost.”
You weren’t expect such a barrage of anger and honesty, but you took the chance while you had it, “And what? You’re upset because you stopped gaining wealth and power in the spades like you used to?”
Minho’s scowl was pure wickedness, and you stared him down, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, “I’m upset because you turned our king into a soft, weak little boy. The plan was to wring you and your people dry, taking all the resources before leaving you to fend for yourself. And, suddenly, after he met you, he wanted to do nothing but protect you, a cowardly, foolish princess that was nothing but her parent’s puppet--”
“Careful,” your voice was soft, its edges laced with poison as your eyes flashed with a silent warning, “You are alive still because I have use for you, but you run your mouth like that again, and I’ll have your tongue cut out before I slit your throat.”
The general realized the seriousness of your words, and his eyes narrowed, “You have use...of me,” he repeated your words, already disliking where this was going. 
“Of course I do. If I didn’t, your body would have already been dumped into the river by now,” you said pleasantly, the serene smile back on your face as you pulled at your lace gloves.
Minho raised an eyebrow, “Do you think you’d be able to get away with that, Your Majesty?”
“Oh, my dear General,” you couldn’t help but laugh, amused by his doubtfulness at your capabilities, “unlike you, I am not in the position where every move I make is another desperate grab for power. I am the Queen. The power stems from me and my husband. And do you think Hyunjin would care about the potential murderer of his unborn child if I told him the truth?”
Minho’s jaw clenched so hard, it was painful. He underestimated you. Hyunjin was not the ruthless one. You were.
Like a snake constricting its prey, knowing there was no hope of escape, you smiled, “You are in no position to threaten me, Lee Minho, and unless you want me to strip you of all of your titles or for me to tell Hyunjin about what has just transpired, I’d keep that snippy mouth of yours shut.”
How pathetic. You knew exactly what he valued in life, and didn’t hesitate in brandishing against him like a sharpened blade. All of Minho's actions were to protect his reputation with the king and to hold onto the power he'd already earned, and you were dangling that prize over his head, ready to rip it away from him at a moment's notice.
“What does Her Majesty require of me?” Minho asked through gritted teeth and a clenched smile.
“Stop with the schemes. I'm sick and tired of them,” you said tiredly, giving him a wary glare, “Stop trying to usurp my power and overthrow my position as Queen. It doesn't matter how many mistresses you want to throw at Hyunjin. He will always love me as I will always love him, and even if that doesn't come to be, he will always have respect for me.”
Minho felt his blood boil as he nodded, “Yes...Your Majesty.”
You didn't give him the satisfaction of seeing you smile, moving straight to the most important term.
“You will instate Naeun as the Crown Princess.”
“Are you insane?” Minho snarled, his anger spiking as he spat at you, “The people who supported me in ruling against her will think I've gone mad.”
“Maybe you should've thought twice before deciding on your vote then,” you smiled placidly as you took a step closer towards him.
“You will instate Naeun as the Crown Princess, no conditions, no what ifs. She is the heir. Understood?”
As he gazed into your eyes, each order you have laced with power and unspeakable threat, Minho saw himself in the reflection of your sharp stare. To you, he was nothing but a mere doll for you to manipulate to your own will, a being that could just as easily be discarded as it can be replaced. 
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Minho said again, the hatred in his tone more than apparent.
“I expect the good news to be placed on Hyunjin’s desk tomorrow morning.”
Without another word, another acknowledge or even goodbye, you turned around, walking down the hall and leaving Minho to wallow in his own failure, leaving him to forever berate himself for the missteps he made, the miscalculations that had now put his entire career into the hands of the person he despised most in the kingdom.
“Sounded like things were going well, Your Majesty,” Felix commented nonchalantly as you passed him, the young guard having positioned himself in the adjacent hallway, waiting for any inkling of danger to jump in and protect you. You didn’t fail to notice the way he twirled his knife before slipping it back into its sheathe, obviously having pulled it out when Minho had made a poorly concealed threat regarding your condition.
“Yes, it seems like some good has come out of this ridiculous farce,” you sighed, placing your hand gently over your tummy as you felt the slightest kick against your side. With that conversation, you could only hope that the worst of the nobles’ spite towards you and your blood would soon be over. 
Felix eyed you carefully in the silent walk back to the Royal Chambers, noting both your emotional and physical state, “Are you going to keep this from His Majesty?” He asked, afraid of overstepping his boundaries by prodding too much.
“Eventually, the truth will come out whether I want it to or not,” you said as you entered the private section of the palace, exhaustion laced in your words. Truthfully, if Minho had decided to call your bluff and attacked you earlier, it wouldn’t have been as easy as you’d made him believe it to be. You had your reputation as a powerful general back when you were a princess to thank for how successful your negotiations went.
“Still, I think I’ll keep it a secret...just for tonight,” you confided to Felix tiredly, turning to him with a weary smile, “He’s worried enough already, especially after earlier.”
Felix nodded, and you didn’t need to ask additionally to ensure secrecy. Felix was good about those things. He was a good confidante, and once again, you felt immensely grateful for his presence. 
He gave you a bow, practiced ease and gracefulness exuding from even the simplest of movements as he spoke softly, “Take care of yourself, Your Majesty.”
You couldn’t help but smile, reaching over and gently patting his head, a silent gesture of praise for the young knight who’d done so much for you, “I promise. Now go get some sleep. It’s quite late.”
Felix excused himself politely, and you took a deep breath, heading to the bedroom where your lover was probably waiting anxiously for your return.
.
As you’d expected, Hyunjin was almost beside himself when you walked into the room, his hands freezing from where they were pulling at the roots of his dark hair when he gasped, “Y/N, my love!” He rushed towards you, pulling you into his arms and sweeping you into a tight hug.
“Where have you been? I was worried sick! Changbin said that Felix was with you, so I trusted that nothing was wrong, but you were gone for so long and I thought—”
“Shh, my darling,” you cooed, letting his hands touch you fleetingly everywhere he could, your shoulders, your waist, your tummy, anything to let him know that you were once again safe in his arms.
You smiled, cupping his cheeks as you leaned close, “I’m alright. Everything’s alright. I just needed some air after what happened today, so I took a walk in the gardens. Felix was with me every step of the way.”
Hyunjin let out a sigh of both relief and frustration as he held your hand resting on his cheek, looking into your eyes, “Please don’t scare me like that again,” he whispered, “Not after what happened earlier.”
“Nothing happened, Hyunjin,” you said softly, your thumb lightly brushing his face as you comforted him, “I’m here, aren’t I, safe and sound?”
“Things could’ve turned out so much worse,” he pressed a fleeting kiss to your palm as he held your hand, “I had the liquid inspected. At this very moment, you could’ve been unconscious, fighting for your life, our child...gone,” his voice cracked ever so slightly as he palmed your stomach.
“But it didn’t happen like that,” you reassured him, eyes widening as you saw his own eyes glistening with unshed tears, “Oh, Hyunjin.”
Reaching forward, you wrapped your arms around his waist, burrowing in his chest as Hyunjin easily fell into your embrace, burying his face in your hair as he hugged you tightly. The room filled with the comfortable silence, and your conversation continued without the need for words.
I love you. I want you to be safe. Please don’t do anything dangerous. It was all translated through your touch and the warmth you gained from one another.
Hyunjin’s hugs were warm. They felt like hot chocolate on a cold winter day, like a summer breeze that swept you away. You felt safe just being in his arms, and soon, you let out a quiet yawn, nuzzling into his chest.
“Let me coddle you tonight,” he murmured, sensing you slumping forward in his chest as his fingers lightly massaged your scalp, “I know you don’t like it very much, but just for tonight, can I please take care of you?”
You couldn’t help but smile at his request. As much as Hyunjin liked to be cared for, by you in particular, his favorite hobby was to spoil you in any capacity that he knew how. He loved to lavish you with gifts, shower you with love, and to do every little thing to make you comfortable. You weren’t the person that liked to take advantage of this little trait of his, since you were never one for lavish gift giving nor were you ever given such attention before, but seeing how earnest he was, you decided to compromise, especially after all the worrying Hyunjin had probably gone through just waiting for you to return. 
“Of course,” you nodded, pressing a kiss to his lips, “Let’s get ready for bed.”
Hyunjin was carefully meticulous as he  undid the corset of your party dress, pulled out the pins that held your hair up, and delicately slipped the silk nightgown over your form, all the while trailing kisses wherever he could. You did the same for him, helping him out of his uniform as your lips connected with his.
“I was thinking,” you mumbled absently as Hyunjin kissed you with abandon, his hands nimbly undoing the braids in your hair, “We should go away, just us and Naeun.”
“Oh? Do tell me more,” Hyunjin replied with a soft smile, his lips trailing down to your jaw as you tried your hardest to remember what you were trying to say. What a little brat he was being.
You sucked in a gasp as you rolled your eyes, amused by his antics, “Let’s spend a week at the summer estate. Naeun needs space to run around, and both of us need a breather from our royal duties. You especially.”
Hyunjin groaned at your words, “You’re definitely right about that. But can we afford to leave, with all the chaos going around?” He asked, as he began to usher you to the bed, his arms looping around your legs as he ultimately decided to just carry you.
“H-hyunjin!” You squeaked, surprised by the sudden action as your arms wrapped around his neck. Your husband paid you no mind, carrying you to the bed before placing you down delicately. His eyes met yours and you touched his face, “I’m sure we can make time. We can delegate some of the less important work to some of the council members. If not, we can just work extra hard after to make up for lost time. We all need a break.”
“Your wish is my command, my Queen,” Hyunjin leaned forward, pecking your lips before walking around to crawl under the covers from his side of the bed, “I’ll start planning the details of the trip tomorrow. Deal?”
“Deal,” you smiled, snuggling into the covers and scooting closer to your husband as his hand absently shifted to rest on your tummy.
“It would be good for this little one, too. Just to experience what life outside this stuffy palace is like,” Hyunjin mumbled, his eyes already closing. He was no doubt exhausted from hosting the party and all the preparations before hand.
You felt your cheeks heat up as you giggled. Hyunjin always had a way of bringing the conversation back to the baby, “Yes, it'll be good for them, too,” you agreed softly as your eyes began to close as well. The day had been far too eventful for your liking, and you'd like at least one full night of rest before having to tell Hyunjin about your conversation with Minho.
Suddenly, your ears perked up at the sound of the bedroom door creaking open ever so slightly. Hyunjin reacted instantly, pulling you close as he sat up to see who had come in.
“Papa…? Mama…?”
Naeun’s sleepy voice was soft and almost inaudible, but Hyunjin let out a sigh, relaxing as he could make out the little figure of his daughter standing at the door.
“Naeun, what’s wrong?” He asked gently, beckoning her over to his side of the bed, “It’s way past your bedtime.”
“I-i—” The little girl rubbed her heavy eyes as she waddled over to her father as she began to whimper, “I had a bad dweam, P-papa.”
Hyunjin’s heart and yours simultaneously melted as a silent agreement passed between the two of you. The priority was no longer to get a good night's sleep; it was your daughter’s comfort.
“Oh, petal. Was it scary?” Hyunjin cooed, reaching down and easily picking her up, settling her in the large bed. He placed her right in the middle, and you rolled over to your side so you could gently wipe her tears.
Naeun nodded at his words, her lips curled in a trembling pout, “Scawy. C-couldn’t find Mama—a-and people saying that Papa was gone…” Her lip quivered again and she began to cry just from remembering the awful images that passed through her head.
“Shh, shh. Oh, dear,” Hyunjin quickly grabbed a spare handkerchief on the night stand beside his bed as you sat up, murmuring comforting words as you cupped Naeun's cheeks gently. 
“Naeun, my little princess,” you said softly, looking into her sparkling eyes as large crocodile tears rolled down her cheeks, “Mama and Papa are right here. We'll always be here for you, alright? No matter what happens, your Mama and Papa would never, ever abandon you like that.”
The little girl sniffled as Hyunjin wiped away her tears, smiling fondly, “Your mother said it best, petal. No matter what, we'll be here to support you, protect you, and love you until you've grown sick of our coddling.” 
Hyunjin couldn't help but add in a little teasing, booping her nose as he said, “Even after you grow sick of us, we'll still stick annoyingly close.”
Naeun scrunched her nose as she always did when hyunjin messed with her, and she frowned, “I won't ever get sick of Papa and Mama. Never!”
“Oh, one day, you'll take those words back,” you added playfully as you tickled Naeun's little tummy, making her squeal with delight and effectively drawing the nightmare out of her immediate thoughts. Hyunjin joined in, tag teaming your poor daughter until she was too exhausted to keep her eyes open. 
"Love Papa... Love Mama," Naeun mumbled sleepily as she curled into the warm blankets, beginning to fall asleep. You smiled at her words, pressing a kiss to her hair. 
"Mama and Papa love you more than anything else in the whole world," you reassured her, brushing the stray hairs out of her face, "Get some sleep, little one.  Nothing can hurt you here." 
Naeun mumbled in acknowledgment, and her little hands wrapped around Hyunjin’s pinky, making her father’s heart positively melt, “Papa...sing.”
“Sing?” He repeated, slightly flustered as he shifted to a more comfortable position, making sure that Naeun was still able to hold onto his pinky. 
“Mhm, Papa sing,” Naeun nodded as she curled up into a little ball, bringing Hyunjin's hand to her chest as she began to doze off on her own.
You couldn't help but giggle as you burrowed into the covers as well, wrapping a gentle around your daughter as you smiled up at Hyunjin, “Won't you honor a princess’s request?” You teased.
Hyunjin pouted at you, scrunching his nose much like how Naeun had done only minutes before, “But I'm the king,” he said petulantly, making Naeun giggle at his antics, “I can do whatever I want!”
“Well, your Queen is now requesting a song as well,” you said with an air of playful haughtiness as Naeun and you shared a conspiratorial glance.
“Oh dear,” Hyunjin ran a hand through his hair, “then, I believe I don't have a choice if my Queen and my Princess so insist.”
“You don't!” Naeun chirped in, her eyes twinkling mischievously.
Hyunjin let out a dramatic sigh before propping himself up against the headboard and pulling Naeun into his chest so she could rest comfortably in his arms. He didn't forget you, of course, and laced his fingers with yours as you decided not to move around as much, resting on your side of the bed as you held his hand.
The sound of soft-spoken singing wafted into your ears like a gentle breeze. Hyunjin, albeit not a professional in any way, always had a nice voice. It was the kind of voice that could lull you into relaxation, the kind of voice that soothed your unsettled heart. Before long, your eyes grew too heavy to keep open, and you drifted off to sleep with your hand wrapped around Hyunjin’s.
Hyunjin gazed down at his family as he slowly stopped singing, noticing that the two of you had fallen asleep. Without the prying eyes of the world boring down on him, he could finally drop his guard and his cold exterior to fully admire the two people he loved, the little girl in his arms that he treasured so dearly and you, the love of his life that showed him what it truly meant to have a soulmate, a person to confide in wholeheartedly. 
It was his little personal heaven, just to see the two of you sleeping safe and sound, to lie in bed with both his daughter and his wife just at arm's reach. He savored it as much as he could, squeezing your hand once more before putting down himself, pulling the warm covers higher over Naeun to keep her healthy. And not for the first time, Hyunjin wistfully dreamed of a life where he was not the king, where he could be a simple man, only tasked to provide and love his family. 
Hyunjin knew he would be asking for too much. He knew what the two of you had promised to those that had put their faith in your hands. You'd promised to protect them, to wear the crown and carry the burdens of your kingdom, no matter how bruised, bloodied or battered the journey made you. 
But as he stared down at your peaceful expression, your lips slightly parted and your eyes fluttered shut, he couldn't help but remember the terror he felt just hours before, the all consuming fear that you would disappear from his life. And for the first time, Hyunjin was at a loss, facing a crossroad that—in the naivety of his youth—he never thought he’d encounter.
If he had to choose between you or his country, what would he do? If he had to protect the integrity of his kingdom and sacrifice Naeun, would he be able to do it? Before you came along, Hyunjin cared about nothing but his work, his duty. But now, he had a family that he'd do anything to protect.
At the party, Hyunjin felt anger like he'd never felt before in his life. It was more than fury, it was pure rage. He would've been willing to lock the doors and interrogate every single person present in the banquet hall if you hadn't calmed him down. He didn't want to become a king like that, he didn't want to become a ruler than put his own needs and his family’s needs before everything else. 
But if he lost you, if he lost Naeun, if he lost his unborn child, his whole world would shatter. It was almost terrifying how much the past five years had changed him. 
“Hyunjin,” his eyes flew open as he suddenly felt your thumb brush against the back of your hand. Turning his head, he realized that you had woken up, your eyes gazing at him with a mixture of sympathy and love that Hyunjin wanted to drown in.
“You're thinking too much again,” you murmured sleepily, playing absently with his fingers without jostling Naeun, “At this point, you'll have wrinkles before you're even middle aged.”
The king couldn't help but chuckle at your little quip, pressing a kiss to your hand, “I'm sorry, my love. Did I wake you?”
“No, I woke up on my own,” you reassured him, “But I'm glad I did. What's wrong, darling?”
Hyunjin bit his lip, hesitating for a moment. He shouldn't bother you with his feelings, not when you already had to worry about yourself on top of the baby you were carrying. 
“Hyunjin,” you murmured his name once more, and he felt his body shudder at how sweet, how loving you sounded, “You can tell me anything.” 
It was the only gentle nudge he needed.
“I'm worried about this,” Hyunjin said softly, “Our family. I can't stop worrying. I didn't know about the poison, even though all the food and drinks were inspected. When will it ever be enough?”
You squeezed his hand, “You're putting too much responsibility on yourself. The family’s safety is not your burden to bear alone, it is for us to share.”
Hyunjin nodded, “I know,” he sighed, running a hand through his midnight hair, “I know, Y/N. But I just wish I could do more.”
“You do more than enough for us, darling,” you reassured him, “You do more than any king would do for their families. It's alright, Hyunjin. You're doing so well.”
“I am?” Hyunjin sucked in a breath, placing your hand on his cheek as he closed his eyes, revelling in your words and your presence. 
“You are.”
These were not honey coated words to soothe a monarch and appease his temper. You meant them more than you could ever express. You knew Hyunjin was trying his best. You knew Hyunjin was most likely protecting you from forces that you weren't even aware of, just like the way you'd dealt with Minho just earlier. 
“I found out who did it, by the way,” you mumbled, figuring that this felt like the right time to tell him in hopes that Hyunjin might sleep better knowing that the problem was dealt with.
There was a moment of deathly silence before Hyunjin uttered a single word, "Who?" 
You sighed. Maybe this wasn't the best idea after all, especially since your daughter was soundly sleeping in the space between the both of you, "Promise that you won't do anything rash right now." 
"You're asking me not to do anything rash when I find out who tried to murder my unborn child and harm my wife?" Hyunjin asked in disbelief. 
“I'm asking you not to overreact now while your daughter is sleeping," you hissed back, "I handled it for the time being." 
Hyunjin let out a frustrated sigh, "Alright, you win. You have my word,” he said, lacing his fingers with yours.
You bit your lip, wondering if it would just be easier to be completely honest or to ease into it gently. After a moment of consideration, you decided on the former. 
“It’s Minho.”
Hyunjin reacted without thinking, feeling the rage run through his veins once again as he began to sit up, “That bastard--”
As he shifted aggressively, Naeun whined in her sleep, beginning to squirm. You wrapped your arm around her body as your other hand grabbed Hyunjin’s sleeve, “You promised!”
Hyunjin’s steeled eyes softened as he looked down at the little girl beside him, and he slumped back on the bed, pressed a kiss to her forehead and rubbing her back, helping soothe her back to a deep sleep, “I should’ve gotten rid of him earlier. I knew he disliked your presence, but I thought--I thought he’d be able to see past the differences.”
“As did I,” you admitted, running your fingers gently through Naeun’s hair as her whimpers stopped and slowly went back to soft breaths, “but it seems like he disappointed both of us.” 
The king sighed tiredly, feeling the rest of his fiery hot anger dissipate as he turned to lie on his side, his eyes trained on Naeun as he made sure she was asleep, “You said you handled it. Let me guess, it was when you ‘went for a walk.’” 
“You know me too well,” Flicking his forehead playfully, you couldn’t help but smile, “Yes, we had a quick conversation as I was walking back to the chambers. I don’t believe he will try it again any time soon.”
“I would ask what you told him, but I almost don’t want to know,” Hyunjin said with a hint of a smile as he closed his eyes, “My wife can be very scary when she wants to be.”
You shrugged, stroking his cheek fondly for a moment longer before pulling your hand away and lying back down, “I’m the same as you, Jinnie. Anything to protect this family we’ve created.”
Hyunjin hummed in agreement, his long arm draping over to wrap around both you and Naeun, “Anything. But for now, let’s sleep. Thank you, Y/N.”
“Whatever for?” You asked curiously, unsure of what Hyunjin was thinking about in that little head of his. 
“For being here. For loving me. For everything you do,” he mumbled, already beginning to fall asleep    as his words began to slur. Your heart felt warm and fluttery as you smiled, patting the back of his hand as you mumbled your sleepy reply.
“I’ll always be here for you, Jinnie. You’re not alone anymore.”
Hyunjin cracked a smile at that, and hugged you and Naeun ever so slightly tighter in his arms. You were right. He wasn’t alone anymore. He had you and Naeun, whom he loved with every fiber of his being. He had Changbin and Felix, who were slowly becoming less like guards and more like their surrogate family. 
And for all those reasons, Hwang Hyunjin fell asleep considering himself quite lucky. 
539 notes · View notes
oneoftheprettynerds · 4 years ago
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Belle Of The Ball: Dark! King! Steve Rogers x Reader
A/N: So this my first ever proper dark fic and I’m so nervous. I finished it but my mind thinks it’s garbage. so I’m gonna post this now when I’m feeling a random spurt of courage and am confident in my work. So here’s my masterpiece, cookies.
This is for Dark!MCU  Festive Fic swap hosted by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor  and @darkmcuficswap
My giftee is @hermesmaximoff Hope you enjoy it love!
Thanking @firefly-graphics for the dividers: both personalised and general.
There is also an amateur somewhat okay shitty poster I decided to make which is included at the end.  
WARNING: THIS IS A DARK FIC CONTAINING DUBIOUS CONSENT BORDERING NON-CON AND EXPLICIT SMUT. YOUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. LOSS OF VIRGINITY, ABUSE OF AUTHORITY, BREEDING KINK ALSO PRESENT.
Summary: Invited to the Royal ball by the benevolent monarch, you could barely control your excitement to visit the Capital. While you were busy admiring his prosperous reign, King Steve was quite occupied getting enamoured by you. As you try to fulfil the King’s demands, secrets find their way out.
CHARACTERS + GENRE: DARK!STEVE ROGERS X READER, SUPERNATURAL STEVE ROGERS X READER (read to find out what), ROYAL AU, HALLOWEEN THEME (I tried for the request, hope you do like it)
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King Steve Rogers invites the princes and the princesses of all Kingdoms, near and afar,
To celebrate his several years of reign.
He requests thy kind and noble presence
At the joyous regale
of his auspicious ball
On the thirty first of October,
after sundown, in His Majesty’s finest castle.
Challenging thy with the unique theme of
A Halloween Masquerade Ball,
The King expects exceptional indulgence from all.
 The Most Grandiose Halloween Celebration is being organised with the spookiest of events within.
Come here if you dare.
“We have been invited to a royal party! My day couldn’t have been better!” Your elder sister exclaimed, jumping quite unladylike in your chambers, as you went through the details of the venue. You chuckled at her antics, knowing rather well that she would be scolded if someone else was present. 
“Emma, Mother has to approve first. As Lady Ava always says, don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”
“As if mother would really decline an invite from the King, dear sister.” She rolled her eyes at you, not letting her enthusiasm die as you pondered over her words.
Your sister had a point though, the King summoning your presence was not to be taken lightly. The invitation came up handwritten in a scroll with the King’s wax seal atop it. It was placed elegantly beside a golden mask in a rectangular black box, that bore the Majesty’s sigil on the front.  
The theme of the ball wasn’t that peculiar if you reflected over it, the renowned monarch was also recognised for his distinct interest in eerie, unearthly beings. He was known for adventuring into haunted lands, mysterious manors and sinister soils, meeting up with people rumoured to be sorcerers and occultists.
Of course, the reason for his encounters was sometimes rumoured to be because of his familial distress, how he couldn’t find a mate to procreate with and conceive his own heir no matter what. Three females, who were pregnant with a progeny of his blood, none his wife though, had died during the first two or tercet months, reason unspecified why.  
Coming to You, you and your sister weren’t actual princesses, rather the daughters of one of the esteemed Ministers in the King’s cabinet. The benevolent King, however referred to the daughters of the town, more exactly, the Kingdom, as noblewomen. He held high reverence for the females and was the sole creditor to the improved condition of the women in this era. No matter how troubled his own life was, the King was the most merciful royal to be crowned to date, his people prospering under him.
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Your sister nodded eagerly to your mother, drinking in her words like the fine tea you all had in the afternoons, while you just smiled at her advice.
 When you both met your mother for dinner, you were surprised to find her already informed about the invitation. Her conformity to the celebration astonished you even more, but Emma’s zeal was starting to rub off on you too by the end of the meal. 
Your mother continued, “Your father mentioned The Majesty is looking for a wife, quite possibly. He has been insistent in trying to get a successor the correct way this time, by courting the lady who piques his interest. Even though this might be a rumour, or some gossip spun by the ladies of the Cabinet, you both should try your best to be graceful and presentable. Among the hundreds of guests, he’d be having over, on the off-chance, if Gods allow, that either of you manages to entice him, it will only promise you the most pleasant of all forthcomings. It would also do me and your father some good, if you managed to find some other suitable bachelor, from a nice background to engage with.”
Your sister had always been one with the more overactive imagination out of you two, while you had been the more serene and poised one. When she’d be out playing with the children in your town, you’d be talking to the younger toddlers, drawing with chalks on the side. For every kid she splashed with water in the nearby sapphire river, you made tots flower crowns. These were the values you both grew up with, and these will be the values you’d die with.
After days of shopping velvet fabrics and silk textiles, and bothering your seamster to make sophisticated and stylish dresses, you both neared your day of departure. After some instructions to you both to represent your father and town well, your mother bid you adieu. It was nerve wracking to not have your mother by your side, for an event as big as this was, but since you both had passed more than twenty name days, you were expected to be proper, independent ladies. 
With a heavy heart and some self, positive affirmations, you and your sister embarked on the voyage, which was filled with her chitchat.
You only hoped that the gala was as exciting as your family made it out to be. That it was just a King trying to celebrate his sovereign with some western festival integrated together. That the event would not be as unnerving and creepy as the last line of his invitation made it out to be. 
For some unknown cause, it did not sit well with you. Your apprehensive intuition made you wary of the invitation for some reason, but you let your sibling’s zest take you over. What benefit would fretting get you?
The ball was far more pompous than anything you’d have imagined in your little head. All the ideas that Emma had come up with during your journey, to anticipate the extent of extravagance for the ball, were all exceeded with tenfold finesse. You had travelled to faraway, distant lands with your parents, but the King’s mansion, with all the festivity happening, was truly a sight to behold.
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Entering The Capital had been the highlight of your excursion, you were sure earlier, but well you were proved wrong. Your father greeted you both when you had arrived, eager to see his angels after almost six moons, and had ensured you both got the best of the accommodations in the well-built, enormous fort. He introduced you to several of his comrades as well as their brooding, young lads and then, left you both to rest for the main event next eve. With two maids at your every beck and call, courtesy of your father, your time went smoothly and now you found yourself at the said Halloween themed celebration, staring around in awe of every little detail that had been so meticulously handled to make the event as dazzling as it was.
The servants were dressed rather ridiculously as cats, wearing some bizarre structure resembling cat ears, horribly short black dresses barely past their thighs and some whiskers draw using either coal or makeup, you weren’t sure. It was a poor attempt to make them appear feline. However, the food was as immaculate as everything else, entirely themed like only blood red wine, candied apples, chicken pumpkins, cheesecake brain, mummy muffins, some appetizer with bell peppers as jack-o-lanterns; these were the few that met your sights.
The hall was so grand, almost the size of three jousting arenas and playing fields combined with pillars having detailed architecture supporting the place. The walls were covered in scarlet, golden and black velvet drapes, the royal colours, and beautiful masquerade masks were pinned atop them, along the walls. Almost hundred round, white clothed tables filled the ballroom, with gold plated candlesticks and utensils upon them. The entire place had entertainers progressing around, the essence of it being magicians, clowns, contortionists, palm and tarot card readers. 
In the centre of the hall, was an empty space, reserved for the soon to be ensuing dancing. An orchestra on the side had beautiful instruments, playing soft melodies for now, reserving the upscale beats for later.
You had only read a few books on Halloween to be prepared but nothing could have geared you up for this. Your small-town self was gaping at everything with a childlike wonder while somehow your sister was quite composed and calm, somehow your roles had been reversed. 
Emma was wearing a blue gown, having several layers of nets and cloth, each a different shade of azure. She tried to dress as the mythical creature called mermaid, with crystal heels and a beaded neckline. Her masquerade mask had scales like fish, made using shining sequins. She looked so gorgeous, truly managing to look captivating.
You on the other hand were dressed like an angel, which you were against, finding it too mainstream and typical and wanted to dress like an enchantress with violet and jade colours, which your mother immediately negated. On demand of your sister, she let you wear a fluffy white ball gown, and had you made wings with dove feathers, an apparatus which was astonishingly light to wear. Using her art and craft skills, Emma made you a headband with two wires attached to a metal ring, shaped like an angel’s halo. The loop at top made of some special metal that glowed golden in the dark, making it look like a real, floating halo. Your mask had a fur lining on it, and silver sparkles were sprinkled all over you, with pretty makeup on your face, courtesy of your sibling.
The change in music brought you out of your reverie, as trumpets and harps began to hum, signifying the arrival of the King on the grand staircase. He had a crimson red velvet cape descending his broad shoulders, his tuxedo underneath could hide neither his long legs nor his bulging, protruding biceps. His black, shining shoes cost more than your entire apparel, you were certain. 
As your gaze ascended his masculine form, you were mesmerised furthermore with his high cheekbones, full lips tainted cherry pink, a Grecian slanting nose, sleek eyebrows, luscious blonde hair, a thick beard and the best of all yet, cerulean blue eyes, the prettiest you’d ever seen in the entirety of your small life. The ladies beside you, Emma included, had the same reaction whether they had witnessed his Highness before or not. Every female’s gaze seemed to flicker between his azure eyes and the Golden crown resting atop his blonde locks, flooded with rubies and emeralds and gemstones you weren’t sure your books had.
For a moment you felt his eyes land on you, which surprised you even more so, that you questioned yourself about it, but his cheeky grin and wink confirmed it, make you shiver involuntarily as heat spread through your face while a titillating stir ran through you, a first for you. His impeccably white teeth were clearly visible now, showing two elongated canines, which finally gave you a sense of his attire, paired with his blush lips, A Vampire.
He spoke a few words, eyes unsteadily wavering, observing different members of the gathering. He let the dances commence, partnering with his most suitable match at the festivity, the daughter of the wealthiest lord. After the first song was over, other couples joined alongside him while you stood at the side, observing everything. Only mere moments ago had your sister been courted by a young man, the two of them shooting each other coy glances since they had entered. 
A tap on your shoulder had you puzzled, you turned around focus landing on warm, brown eyes. You recalled him to be Lord Stark’s son, Peter, having met him yesterday at dawn. His familiar brown eyes gave you sense of comfort, which you liked, not being alongside Emma now.
“Shall we?” He asked, his cheeks ruby like yours were, as he extended the palm of his hand towards you. You giggled, smiling like a little babe who got extra cookies for dessert, and accepted his hand. Sauntering to the dancing arena, you only prayed to The Heavens above that Lady Ava taught you enough to embarrass neither yourself nor your guild.
Tracing his steps and following his lead, you did manage to dance without falling, which was a surprise seeing how spread out your wings were. You and him made easy conversation, about your hometowns and interests.  You saw your Father proudly looking at you and Emma, dancing with lads, you guessed, he approved of.
As the song ended and the orchestra played a transitioning tune between the melodies, a cough sounded beside you as you and Peter stopped. Your eyes widened as you nervously curtsied beside Peter, A ‘Your Majesty” falling from both your lips.
“If it’s not too much trouble, may I share a dance with the most stunning dame here?” 
Peter politely stepped back, letting go of your waist, as The King’s wide stature more than filled his place. Your heart was beating rather loudly, blood pumping to your ears as you tried to make sense of what was happening. In your peripheral vision you could see the prying eyes of others looking at you both, ready to criticize you for one wrong move. Your father watched intently, a slight warning in his eyes to not mess this opportunity up while your sister comfortingly smiled at you. You tried to even your breaths and make sense of what he was saying, to not just stand and gape like a fool in court.
As the harmony played out, he swayed you around, lifting you up and twirling you around. Compliments spewed out from his lips, making you crimson like freshly ripened apples. You couldn’t keep up with your expression of gratitude through your words as he admired your eyes, your elegance and your ensemble which just couldn’t make him shift his eyes from you. 
After two songs had played out, he left as suddenly as he had come, with a promise to meet you later. You watched him dance with other maidens, who approached him when you were dancing together, entertaining every approaching lady like an excellent host.
You made your way to the side, hoping to get some liquor, or at least some fluid in your veins and not faint right there this moment. Emma came up beside you while you were having wine, and rubbed your back in a parental way. Her eyes communicated her understanding of how overwhelmed you felt at the instant. Her date and Peter soon came and kept you both company for the rest of the night. As duos danced and people got intoxicated, you had to call it a night on behalf of your sister, her incessant giggling make you worried for her inebriated self. 
You slipped her out before your father caught her and gave her a stern talking to and tucked her in her bed keeping a glass of water and some fresh fruits for her on the bedside wooden bench. You concluded retiring for the night yourself but only after assuring your father of your whereabouts and well beings. Before returning to the hall, you took off your wings and the halo, also opting to leave the mask behind as the fur tickled your skin. Your makeup hadn’t ruined in the heat of the hall, it was a miracle. You made your way to the Hall, hoping to find your father, assumingly drunk with all his entourage.
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Two hallways before the decorated ballroom were you pinned to the wall, one hand of your attacker covering your parted lips while the other held your face delicately, with a lover’s touch. A split second was all it took for you to be immobilised by this man and another by your wavering form to recognise the cobalt blue eyes and blonde curls. When The King was certain you wouldn’t scream, his hand left your mouth slid upwards, mirroring his other hand, with thumbs in front of your ears and palms resting on your cheeks.
“Your Majesty?” You mumbled back, your voice somehow even lower, afraid for yourself and even more so terrified to offend him.
“Say, would you come for a while to my chambers, the view of the creek from my balcony is splendid.”
His choice of words gave you an option, but his eyes, almost hypnotically told you there was only one correct answer.
“You are the one, I can feel it.” He whispered lowly but your heightened senses gladly picked it up.
You meekly nodded, your inner self surprised at your body moving of its accord alongside him, as your mind started voiding of thoughts like reporting to your father, checking up on Emma. You felt like you were trapped in someone else’s form and fought with an invisible force to take over the reins of your own body.
You did not fail to notice the lack of guards outside the King’s chamber and how every entrance managed to open itself. The King wasn’t lying about the picturesque scene though, as you stood in the balcony, hair getting ruffled by the strong breeze that seemingly came from nowhere.
Your body stiffened as King Steve came uncharacteristically close to you and slid his hands around your middle, his nose nestled in your locks, inhaling deeply.
His lips descended your neck, laying feathery kisses on his path as you stood there, unable to even move your hands or turn around. This out of body sensation was broken when you felt intense pain on piercing of your skin where your head met your torso. You suddenly gained all wits and enough strength to flail your limbs around but all your might wasn’t enough to even stir the man from his task. Your throat couldn’t gather enough energy to scream, though you doubted anyone would come. You started getting light headed and only then did he stop, carrying you in his arms to his widespread four poster bed, mattress as soft as sponge and sheets as silky as butter. Too weak to fight him off, you harvested all your energy in staying conscious as your gaze danced around, trying to make sense of every object present but not awake enough to notice too many details. The wine you drank did not make it any better.
As you laid on the stranger’s bed, you felt his body sit beside you, holding your neck; leaning down, his lips meeting yours for the first time. You did not reciprocate, neither did you have the strength nor the will, while his tongue slipped inside your mouth, roaming around like a traveller in foreign land.
As the kiss drew on, you felt some energy sidle inside you, enough for your mind to function again but not ample enough to fight off the brawny thief who robbed you of your first kiss. King Steve broke off the kiss and connected your foreheads together, his indigo eyes turning black in want, leaving you a frightening and gasping mess.
He backed away, sitting more straighter now as his hand drew back from around your neck and slid along your stomach, nearing the most intimate part of your body, even though there were still layers of cloth present. His hands did not stop there, however, and made their way downwards only stopping at the hem of your gown and slipping inside.
You shrieked out suddenly, becoming aware of his intentions quite late and grasped his wrist that rested now on your knee. 
“Your Majesty, I……I can’t-”
“Do you wish to refuse your King?”
You looked down, caught in the dilemma of wanting your safety and offending him once again. Your virtue had to be preserved till marriage, your mother had taught you, but on the other hand, the King’s words were the law.
“Answer Me.” The King’s cold voice broke through your thoughts, not a shout but still scarier than a yell.“
Your Majesty, I’ve never engaged in s-” You started tearing up, lower lip wobbling and body shaking at the thought of the future. You did not see this ending beneficial in any scenario. If you lost your virtue, you would never get wed but if you refused the King and he felt insulted, your family and your connections would be in the ruins, he held that much power over you.
Cradling your face with his other hand, he began again, “You think I’m not already aware, pretty one?” The man who was reprimanding you only few moments ago upon not answering him, had a smile on his face this time: not assuring or comforting, but malicious and sinister to its very core. “I could smell your untainted scent from my room, before even descending the stairs.”
“Your e-eyes..” You gaped again as colours morphed in his eyes, red now swirling around in the pools of darkness, his words lost on you as you felt your fear rising due to the inhumane action.
“For an intellectual, bibliophilic girl, you sure are oblivious, sweetheart.” He scoffed, looking unimpressed at you, “Come on, prove to me you aren’t heedless like the rest, draw the conclusion." His eyes held yours, again altering into hues of different colours, seemingly mocking you now. 
You don’t know how the thought jumped into your head, maybe because the two holes on your neck stung suddenly or because the automatically opening doors entered your mind, the contemplation that his fangs appeared so realistic and authentic the more you stared at them paired with the blood on his collar, not just the fresh red stain of your plasma but also the burgundy stain present there, giving his lips the cherry red shade you admired hours ago on his arrival at the event.
“This is not a co-costume, no-” You inhaled a quick breath, “you are a vampire.” Your face paled in realisation while he smirked proudly, tapping your knee in a weird, twisted form of appreciation.
“Tremendous, my dear. But only half, you see. My mother was one, yes, but my father, he gave me an even better ability, he was an Incubus.” You shuddered as the words sunk in, your only worry being staying alive now, when your life was in the hands of this sex demon, having the greatest of powers and strength. Your mind did not spend any time mulling over the existence of supernatural beings, only dwelling on possible escapes now.
“That is why even your untouched body couldn’t help but react to my form and it is also the very reason, that I can read what goes on in your mind, all your memories, your hobbies, every book you’ve read, your precious sister, Emma isn’t it? So please, do not even think about fleeing if you don’t want your family to suffer.”
The threat loomed in the air, nasty sobs wracking your body as his thumb came to wipe the tears off. His hands started undoing the lace on the front of your bodice as you sniffled. Managing to quieten down just a bit, you begged, “Please don’t do this, I’ll have nowhere to go if my family found about me partaking in this unholy deed before marriage.” You had little hope about him seeing reason but there was optimism nonetheless. 
“Darling, do not fuss that I’ll leave you unhinged and deserted after finding pleasure in your body, you are to be mine now. Essentially, you already are.” His lips claimed yours again as the front of your dress slackened, bundling around your waist.
You pulled back, surprised at his promise, “You mean that?” He nodded, coming to kiss you again. You turned so that his lips met your neck, tongue licking the salt residue of tears there. “In what sense?”
“In every sense you could think of and more. I’ll give you everything, make you my queen, would you like that?” He mumbled in your neck, tongue now soothing the two punctured cavities residing there.
You could feel yourself crossing your legs involuntarily, trying to caress the abrupt yearning in your intimate part, your underclothes dousing with wetness somehow. Steve smirked in your neck, sitting upright and playing his trump card.
“I’ll marry you and we’ll rule together with the plenty of successors you’ll give me. Won’t that make your parents proud? Isn’t that what your parents taught you? Catch the King’s eye?” You meekly nodded, his charisma of an Incubus winning you over. “I’ll make your father The King’s Hand and send your mother the finest of jewels and gems, satins and silks.” He looked over at your submissive form, looking at him with the innocence of a toddler, swayed by his promises.
“I’ll let your sister have a grand wedding with the man she dears. All you have to do is surrender yourself to me and be my Queen, rule alongside me. So I ask, will you?” You cut him off, your lips pressing against his as you tried to mimic his earlier movements. He held your waist, surprised but pleasantly so, crushing the layers of the rolled top half of your dress underneath his hands. You had very little idea about what bedding someone meant but you had this primal urge to not have any skin of yours covered or untouched by him.
Steve shed his cape and threw every cloth on his torso away, almost as eager as you to get skin to skin contact. Your hands tangled in his hair as he lifted you up and sat you in his broad lap, not before sliding your dress all the way down. As he broke the kiss and took in your body, parts of you hidden under the smallclothes, he let out a growl that frightened yet excited you with another shiver down your spine. 
He made quick work of his bottoms, his cock standing and reaching his muscled chest almost and you gaped. Your sister, Emma had informed you of men’s parts being far much smaller than what you had just witnessed. His member stood erect and proud, glistening as he pumped it with his fist. His eyes drank in your surprise and trepidation, getting amused and turned on even more. 
You still laid stretched across the bed, legs straight ahead of you while your torso rested on your elbows, eyes wary of his every next movement.  He eyed your scantily clad body, gaze filled with lust and nothing more and climbed between your legs, one hand coming down on your waist while the other grabbed the back of your head and pulled you into a possessive kiss, robbing you of your breath. Your mind was slowly registering the reality of it all, this was going to happen no matter what. You were going to sin by engaging in fornication. But is it really wrong if your benevolent king demands that of you?
His hand sliding from your face to your bosom distracted you from your chain of thoughts. He slid the cups of your garment revealing your nipples and took one in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it while his other pinched the abandoned one. You didn’t know if you should be more surprised at his actions or the rush of the feelings that ran through you.
He slowly released your nipple and trailed soft kisses down your stomach to your most intimate part yet, kissing it through the cloth there. His delicate touch was abruptly contrasted with him grabbing the fabric, tearing it into two and revealing you bare. 
You closed your legs out of instinct but his heavily muscled hand took them apart in a single push. He eyed you with a warning, to not obstruct him anyhow anymore.
“Let me taste that sweet nectar of yours, sweetheart. I really want to find out if it is as addictive as my senses picked it up, as sweet as the aura that surrounds you.”
And with that he dove into your pussy, his tongue roaming your wet cavern. Neither did you understand what he spoke of nor had you sister told you about the activity happening right now. But all you could do was focus on the astonishingly pleasant shivers running through you as you had an out of the body, more accurately an out of the world experience. You had no sense of the time that passed and how long you laid there clutching the silk sheets letting out mewls. But out of nowhere, something in you snapped and all your energy left you. 
As your blurry vision cleared and your eyes found his face, he licked his still glistening lips, his beard moist and wet but erotically so. He dove right into kiss again and you tasted your own sweet nectar for the first time ever. His hand roamed your body, grabbing your curves and caressing your soft flesh. 
One of his hands made its way down furthermore and spread your fluids along your folds, and then lined up himself along your hole. With a sudden push, you felt yourself being full like never before, and a sudden pain hit you as your face visibly flinched. Steve swallowed your grunts of pain with his kisses and started rubbing your bud above your linked bodies. 
The shudder that ran through you once again made you incapable of thinking, the ache slowly subsiding behind the pleasure you felt. When your moans filled the air, Steve kissed your collarbones and sucked leaving bruises there, and started thrusting again. As his movements became faster and consistent, and his callused hands rubbed you and pinched your intimate flesh, you ascended to another world. Each action of his introduced you to a new star in the wide galaxy. The same unknown descended upon you again as something snapped in your abdomen and you experienced pure bliss. 
“Going to make you the mother of my children, you will carry my seed and bring the Kingdom several heirs. This time I’ll succeed, you will be mine, my Queen in every sense.” His words made you clench around him and that was all it took for him to achieve ecstasy as well.
Your head lolled and your eyes met his sweating frame lying across the silk sheets as a sinister grin adorned his face again, “I need to fuck a successor into you tonight, you ready?”  
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True Mate- part 2
Here you are! The much requested 2nd part to True Mate! *Familiar Characters are NOT mine!*
Fandom: Twilight(New Moon mostly)
Warnings: Angst! Mentions of Edward’s inner turmoil, “death”?, A little but of fluff. A bit longer than part 1. 
Pairings/Characters: Edward Cullen x vampire!reader, Volturi Kings, Volturi Elite Guard, Alice Cullen, Bella Swan, The rest of the Olympic Coven. 
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Edward didn't notice Bella until she was practically throwing herself at him. He was waiting outside, still hidden from the sun while he waited for his mate to feed. He caught her easily and gaped. "Bella?" She hugged him close, practically clawing at his back and the nape of his neck. Her scent nearly overpowered him. It had been so long since he'd smelled it. He pulled back. "You're alive?"
         "Yes. I'm alive. You don't have to do this." Edward's brows furrowed. "Do what?" Bella gestured to him. "Kill yourself. Alice told me that's what you planned on doing." It took everything in him not to chuckle. Alice must have stopped watching for his future. Either that or hadn't told Bella everything.
         Before he could answer, another voice spoke up. "Cullen, the masters want to see you. Now." Demetri's red eyes swung over to Bella. Bella grabbed onto Edward's arm, nails digging into the flesh. Even if he could, he didn't have to read her mind to know she was afraid. This was going to make things that much more difficult. Alice appeared at his shoulder as well with Felix at her side.
         "This isn't necessary. We'll come with you," Edward stated calmly, hoping to convey that he had no intention of disobeying. Not now. He followed after Felix and Demetri, making sure Alice was with them as well. Bella still clung to his arm. The scent was driving him insane once again. He needed to get away from her before he did something he'd regret. He listened to Alice's mind and Bella's questions, answering without really thinking. He was too busy trying to remember to hold his breath. He was saved from his thoughts, however, when their small group approached the throne room doors.
         Bella didn't let go of his arm when the eyes of all three of the masters landed on them. "Look, Brothers! It seems Isabella is alive after all!" Aro cried with a gleeful clap of his hands, "I do love happy endings. They are so rare." Edward gave Aro a tight smile, but his eyes searched the room for you as he hoped Bella would finally let go before you appeared. It would not end well for Bella if she didn't.
         "And Alice is here too," Aro continued. As Edward opened his mouth to ask the leaders to let Alice and Bella go, that sense of peace washed over him again. He fought back a smile when you entered the room. Your eyes met his and you graced him with an upturn of your lips. At least until you saw Bella clinging to your mate like a toddler.
         Your eyes turned dark and your teeth gnashed together. In an instant, Felix was in front of you, holding you back. Bella flinched. "Oh my. Perhaps, dear Isabella, you would be kind enough to remove your hands from young Edward. You seem to be upsetting Y/N." Bella stared dumbly at him, prompting you to growl out, "Remove your hands from my mate." In your fury, Edward couldn't help but stare. You were beautiful. Glorious. Never before had Edward's inner monster been so at peace knowing there was someone who would give everything for him, even with Bella's intoxicating fragrance invading his senses.
         "Mate? You aren't his mate." Edward closed his eyes at Bella's audacity. Even Alice winced a bit. She knew the difference between singers and true mates. She gently removed Bella's hands from Edward, who instantly appeared at your side, whispering soothing words in your ear. You calmed a bit, but your red eyes never left Bella. You were furious, your own inner beast threatening to claw its way out and destroy the person who dared to try and claim your mate.
         "I'm afraid you're mistaken, Isabella. See, you are Edward's blood singer. Your blood calls to him. It urges him to give into his true nature. I am surprised you've survived this long. Just remembering how you smell to him…makes me thirsty," Aro stated before clearing his throat and continuing, "But Y/N is Edward's true mate. The part of him that makes him feel whole."
         Bella blinked and flicked her gaze between Aro and you and Edward. You had calmed considerably with Edward at your side. Your thoughts were becoming clear again to the mind reader. "This? This is who he tried to destroy himself over? Sure, I guess she's pretty enough and her blood, oh that smells good, but she's a mouse. A mouse playing at lion." You glanced at Edward and smiled as you apologized to him in your mind. You spoke again to Felix who was still extremely close. "You can relax now, Felix. I'm fine," you said before cutting your glare back to Bella.
         "I am his mate," you told her through clenched teeth as Edward ran his nose along your cheek. It was taking all his will power to stay by your side. Bella's scent mixed with yours had the monster he had hoped would stay locked away pleading to drain the human of her blood, much as it when he'd first met her.
         Bella tried to argue, but the leaders weren't having it as Aro questioned what to do. Not that Edward heard much other than the dozens of thoughts invading his head. You placed a calming hand on his cheek, soothing him. Only then did Edward tune back into the conversation. "Edward, you should go." He blinked in surprise.
         "My father and uncles are going to rule that Isabella must be turned or killed. I know her blood is calling to you and I would never want you to do something you're uncomfortable with. I know you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you hurt the human you've been fighting so hard to protect. So go. I'll find you after I feed."  Edward nodded stiffly. He didn't want to leave your side, but he knew you were right. He would regret it if he drained Bella now. So, he followed after Bella and Alice until you were finished.
         No sooner were the three alone did Bella round on Edward. "How could you do this?!" she asked, nearly shrieking at him. Alice held her arm to prevent her from getting too close to Edward. "That thing is a monster! Not your mate!" Edward growled as he used every ounce of self control not to launch himself at Bella.    
         "Bella, stop," Alice pleaded before turning her eyes to Edward, "This is what happened in my vision. I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't know they were your mate or we wouldn't have come." Edward arched a brow. Alice replayed her vision for him in her mind and he sighed. He understood why she had, but she hadn't needed to bring Bella.
         "This is ridiculous. Edward, come back to Forks with us. You belong with your family. With me. Isn't that what you wanted? Isn't that why you came here to have them destroy you? Because of me? Well, I'm alive. You don't have to change for me. You will for that…Y/N person." The sound of your name from her lips made Edward's whole body stiffen. He didn't like the venom in her tone.
         Bella attempted to come closer and put a hand on his cheek. Once more, her scent filled his senses and he backed away. "Bella, I wouldn't. Please, just listen to me. Edward isn't as in control as he usually is. To his true nature, you are a threat to his mate. If you keep pushing, it will not end well. Please."
         Edward was thankful for Alice's intervention. She was at least trying. It didn't stop anything though. When the doors opened to reveal you alongside Felix and Demetri once more, Bella's hand was still outstretched toward Edward. Your eyes flickered to Edward for a brief second, assessing the situation before you sighed.
         "Isabella Swan, I would suggest you stop trying my patience. I have warned you once. Do not make me tell you again. Keep your hands off my mate." Since feeding, you were in a bit more control than before, but that didn't mean you had to like it. You flashed to Edward's side, enveloping him in the serenity he needed in that moment.
         "Edward, calm. The Masters have made their decision. Isabella is to be turned within a year or she will be killed. No exceptions. I will personally be going to Forks at a later date to see that their orders are followed." You cut your eyes back to Bella and Alice. "Miss Cullen, I suggest you sit between these two on your way home."
         "Home?" Edward asked. You faced him again and nodded. "Yes. Home. You need to at least talk to your family about this. About us. They will understand, but it would be unfair to them to say nothing." Edward reluctantly nodded. He didn't want to be apart from you, but knew you were right.
         "Come with me?" You laughed slightly but before you could reply, Bella stupidly piped up. "I don't think that's a good idea." You swung your eyes to her once more, making her shrink back a bit for once. "I-I mean, you don't want to put those innocent people at risk."
         "I assure you that I am in control. However, I have duties here." Bella scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Control? You nearly killed me." You arched a brow, unimpressed by her little tantrum. "Believe me, Miss Swan, if I truly wanted to kill you, you would already be dead. Now, you are testing my already limited patience. I suggest you close that obnoxious mouth of yours before I do it for you, my father's ruling be damned."
         Felix and Demetri snickered, prompting Bella into a fit of anger. "See? Do you see how easily they talk about killing innocent people?! They are monsters, Edward! All of them!" Felix and Demetri stiffened but could do nothing but watch as you held Edward back. He had finally snapped.
         All those months of her blood calling to him. All that time, knowing that he could absolutely drain her dry and it would be the best meal he'd ever tasted. All the days of him pushing his self-control to the limit had finally done him in. His control over the monster that resided inside him was breaking at the thought of someone insulting his mate. Even Felix wouldn't be able to hold Edward back, so it was no surprise when Edward broke free of you and had his hand around Bella's throat.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 *one year later*
         Edward gripped your hand tightly as he opened the door to the house he'd once called home. To his surprise, he wasn't greeted by Carlisle, Esme, or one of his siblings. He felt you stiffen against him. "Hello," he greeted. Bella glared daggers at you, her own now topaz eyes filled with fire. Even now, though she understood the difference between singers and mates, she hated you for taking Edward.
         When Edward had finally snapped that day in Volterra, it had taken you, Demetri, Felix, and Alec to pry him away from Bella. Even then, it was too late. The process had already begun. Bella was turning and there would be no stopping it this time. Alice escorted out of Volterra after the change was complete. You hadn't seen them since.
         "What are you doing here?" she snapped. You arched a brow. "I've come to meet my future in-laws. Edward misses his family." She opened her mouth to protest, but Jasper appeared behind her with a rare smile on his face. Edward returned the grin and pulled his brother to him. The rest of the Cullens weren't far behind.
         After greeting Edward warmly, all the topaz eyes of the Olympic Coven turned to you. Esme was the first to greet you with a smile. "This is Y/N…my mate." The rest of the family began to greet you much in the same manner they had greeted their son/brother.
         Later on that night, Carlisle, Edward, and you retired to Carlisle's home office. For a moment, Carlisle said nothing and Edward did his best not to read his mind. Carlisle's eyes moved between you and Edward a few times before he finally spoke. "Are you happy? I mean…truly happy?" Edward smiled. "I am. For once, I really am. No torturous existence. I still feel the same, but happier and stronger. This was my decision. I promise." Carlisle nodded and expressed his approval. "That's all I ever wanted for you." Edward turned to you and smiled when your eyes met his newly red ones.
(a/n: I hope you like it!)
Tagging people who requested part 2: @lopezbr210 @a-bi-who-just-wants-sweaters @imdoingathingmom​ @kajikani​ @truly-insatiable​ @yrawn​ @vanteguccir​ 
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arrowflier · 4 years ago
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lmao we need the story now of Ian sitting in Mickey’s lap at the bench to piss of the housewife! 😂 love ur stories xx 💋
Expansion of a moment alluded to here. It got extra silly.
They’re stumbling home early one morning after practically spending the night at the Alibi Room, tossing back shots with the Gallaghers in celebration of Carl and his police partner securing the deed. Even with a handful of cops among them—can’t believe this place is a fucking pig pen now, jesus Gallagher—they had both enjoyed themselves, content that Carl wouldn’t let anyone mess with his family. Hell, Tipping wouldn’t either—he’d been staying in touch since he crashed their anniversary, and seemed to love having a couple of ex-con pals to shoot the shit with on a Friday night.
Ian stumbles as they get closer, nearing the edge of the park they take Franny and Fred to sometimes when they babysit, and Mickey grabs him around the waist with a laugh.
“Watch it,” he giggles. “You’re fuckin’ hammered, man.”
Ian twists so that they’re holding each other, swaying awkwardly as he gets his arms around his husband.
“Gonna hammer you,” he slurs, before nearly falling on his ass when Mickey pulls back with a snort.
“Gonna fucking hurt yourself is what you’re gonna do,” he disagrees, grinning. “You’re such a lightweight.”
Ian pouts, but Mickey just takes his hand and leads him farther into the park until they come to a worn stone bench, which he shoves Ian down onto unceremoniously.
“Sit down before you fall down, tough guy,” he orders after the fact, then pushes a pliant Ian over until there’s space to sit down next to him.
It’s pretty quiet this early as they sit together in a silence broken only by the occasional hiccup from Ian. There are a few kids on the playground already a short distance away, surprising for 6AM but not unheard of. The sun is up already, but weak, and it casts faint shadows that play over Ian’s face and hair as Mickey looks at him. It brings out the the varied highlights, making it look like a rainbow viewed through a red lens, and Mickey can’t help but reach up to run a hand through it.
Ian hums, and leans sleepily into the touch. Lightweight or not, now that they’re still, he’s coming down fast.
“Got some weird fuckin’ memories here, man,” Mickey says suddenly, eying the bench they're sitting on. It's familiar, and he runs fingers over the grooves left behind by someone's knife. Probably his old man's.
“Bad ones?” Ian asks, and he can feel Mickey shake his head.
“Nah,” he answers. “Not really. Just…weird,” he repeats. After a beat, he lets go of Ian and turns to face him on the bench. “Wanna help me make some better ones?” he asks, and Ian grins and leans in.
Their kisses are soft and light, a little sloppy with lingering drunkenness, lips tasting of cheap ale and stale breath. It’s perfect.
“Excuse me,” someone says loudly next to them, and they break apart. Mickey doesn’t grace the interruption with his attention, settling instead for stroking a hand up Ian’s back, but Ian turns to look at the woman who spoke.
She’s dressed in a sleek black tracksuit with pink lines down the side, bleached hair tied up in a stern bun on top of her head above a thick, velvety headband. One hand is on her hip, the other resting on the handle of a designer stroller, one of those fancy ones that looks like an old Victorian pram but with UV protection and a vented base. Ian tries not the grimace at the idea that it’s probably fucking wifi enabled or something, and could feed his entire family for months if they hawked it.
“Can I help you?” he asks anyway, just to be polite—though his tone is anything but, thanks to his diminished faculties. He doesn’t want to be an asshole, though, whether he likes the gentrifiers taking over his home or not.
Then she opens her mouth, and he immediately reconsiders that stance.
“Could you not do that around the children?” she says pointedly, gesturing to the playground a few feet away where a handful of kids are scrambling over the jungle gym.
That gets Mickey’s hackles up.
“Could you not mind your own fuckin’ business?” he returns, dropping his hand from Ian’s back to make a rude gesture.
The woman scoffs at them, and makes a gesture of her own. “It’s my business what you show my kids,” she tells him haughtily. “This is a family space.”
Ian looks from the woman to his husband, whose eyebrows are climbing his face, and makes a decision.
“Of course, sorry,” he says, ignoring the way Mickey’s head snaps back to look at him. “We’re being so rude, taking up this whole bench when families might need it.”
Mickey starts to grin, catching on when Ian gets up. His hands find Ian’s hips, keeping his steady as he plops right down into his lap.
“That’s not what I—” the woman starts, stunned by the display, but they’ve both stopped listening. Ian leans in and and licks obnoxiously up the side of Mickey’s neck, reveling in the disgusted sound that the woman makes, then Mickey is turning his head and capturing his mouth in a much more thorough kiss than what they had exchanged before.
They don’t even notice when she calls her kids over, two toddlers in matching designer play-clothes meekly coming when called. They don’t notice when they leave, the woman trying to keep the children’s backs to them as they walk away. They do notice the way she trips over the curb on her way out of the park, but they just huff a laugh into their kiss and keep going until she’s out of sight.
Mickey is finally the one to pull back, stroking Ian’s face with his thumb as he does.
“That was kinda hot, Gallagher,” he admits. “Gotta get you drunk and riled up more often.”
Ian laughs, pressing his face into Mickey’s neck where he leaves a chaste kiss.
“Don’t think that’s gonna be a problem with all these rich fucks moving in,” he offers, “but if you get me home, I’ll give you a sneak preview of what’ll happen next time.”
Mickey’s grin is slow and wicked. “Got yourself a deal, tough guy,” he says. “Let’s get your ass home.”
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tpwkay · 4 years ago
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Medicine (h.s.)
You’re finally given permission to cover the song you’ve wanted to perform for years and a special surprise during your performance sweeps you off of your feet.
Word count: 11.5k
Rating/warnings: NSFW - A lot of this is plot but there is smut as well. Contains explicit language and consensual sex acts between a man and woman. This is a story written in the 2nd person (“self insert"). This isn’t written to be exclusionary, it’s just my preferred style! Author’s note can be found at the end!
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"Ladies and gentlemen, I cannot thank you enough for coming out tonight to listen to me and the band. We've got a couple more songs coming up for you but I just wanted to take a minute to tell y'all how much we appreciate you." You gesture to yourself and the band behind you as the lights on stage come up a bit. "We wouldn't be where we are without your support. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you!"
The crowd cheers and you can't help but experience an insurmountable feeling of joy. It never gets old. You'd been in the spotlight for a few years now, already at the end of touring your second album, though the size and scope of venues this time around was much, much larger. There was nothing that compared to being able to sing your own songs and have a crowd of thousands scream them right back at you.
Being an up-and-coming singer and songwriter in the genre of country music hadn't been easy. Girls your type had been a dime a dozen, hoards of Taylor Swift-wannabes covering "Teardrops on My Guitar" during open mic night. You held nothing against them; there was a path to success for everyone, but yours had been, well, different. 
It was a karaoke cover of Brooks & Dunn's "Boot Scootin' Boogie", a song that you'd been singing since you were a toddler, that had gotten you noticed by a recording artist one night while out with your girlfriends, which led you to where you stand now, performing in front of thousands. You were liked for the range of your voice, with it's easy easy transitions from the sounds of pop to country and rock, in addition to the way you performed, and your take-no-shit attitude towards the entirety of the industry. People liked that you were forward and left nothing on the table, though you had to admit that it was mostly an act, a means of coping with the pressure of working your way to the top.
///
"It's refreshing!" Jax, your manager, had shouted one day, arms flailing as you had argued that maybe your attitude was going to get you into trouble one of these days.
"Aren't you, as, you know, my manager, supposed to be the one keeps me in line?"
"You aren't out doing coke, killing anyone, public indecency and all that," he had shrugged. "Far as I'm concerned, you are in line. People talk about you because of your attitude. They like it! They like you. Why is that so hard for you to accept sometimes?"
"Maybe I just haven't been caught doing those things," you grinned, effectively dodging his question. Fame hadn't helped break down the walls that you'd long ago built around yourself. If anything, you had done some reinforcing, built a moat even, in an effort to ensure that you protected yourself from getting too close to anyone that would only end up using you in the end. You had seen the way people in life had been used, and what it ultimately led them to, and you had promised yourself long ago that even if it meant being known as the Boot Scootin' Bitch, you would protect yourself and your heart at all costs. 
"Your momma would tan your hide for much less than any of those, you know. Hell, you should be more afraid of her than you are of me or anyone else… 'cept maybe God."
///
You shake your head, working the memories free from your mind as you grab a bottle of water from the platform on which the drum set rests.
There's one more song of yours to sing before you performed a new cover, the one you had been looking forward to for months. Although you'd gotten permission to perform it not long into the start of your tour, the set list had been rehearsed already and every other detail ironed out around it. You'd convinced Jax and the crew to let you slot it into the last concert of the tour, Austin, Texas. These folks knew their music and for some reason, they liked you so you were thrilled to be able to share something new with the crowd that had welcomed you to their city with open arms. 
You grab your guitar off its stand and slide the strap over your shoulders, adjusting it as you step forwards to the mic stand. A shimmering blue shirt catches your eye in the crowd and you do a double take because surely it can't be Harry because he's—
And it's not him, of course, though the fashion of the gentleman in the pit area would surely catch his eye as well as it's right up his alley. It's not him - it can't be him - because you know exactly where he is right now and it's not in the pit of your Austin performance. 
A grin stretches over your face as you think of him. You strum the first chord of the first song you'd ever written about him, although there had been many more since. He probably knew this one was about him, having come just after your first meeting. 
/// 
A friend of yours was good friends with Kacey, who had been the guest artist that night. Her name had been added to the VIP list and in the summer of 2018, just as you were hitting your own stride in your career, you tagged along with her to Harry Styles' live tour performance in your hometown of Nashville. 
If you were being honest, prior to his concert, you hadn't heard much of his solo work, apart from the various huge hits like his Kiwi or Watermelon Sugar and a few other ballads. You liked his sound, seemingly influenced heavily by rock stars of days past, but you'd had other influences to worry about in your own side of the industry. 
Sure, he had country music connections through the likes of Kacey Musgraves and Cam, and legends like Stevie Nicks, but his pop and soft rock style was pretty far removed from most country playlists that you yourself had graced. Your genres just didn't cross paths and the two of you seemingly operated in different realms of the music industry, topping your own charts and breaking your own peer's records. 
Of course, you hadn't been completely oblivious to The Harry Styles. One Direction had been too big of a deal to ignore and you'd often found yourself bopping along to their old hits, singing along as they played amongst the other nostalgic pop hits to which you listened. 
The concert had been in June, a hot sunny day followed by a perfect breezy evening. Downtown Nashville was always busy, but that night the city seemed to buzz, bright with music and life. After meeting for drinks at Acme on the River, you allowed yourself to luxuriate in getting lost in the crowd that milled about on Broadway. It was a surprising thing to not be recognized in your hometown, but you weren't one to complain about it. It was one reason that you value your time in Nashville over other music-centric cities like Los Angeles - it seemed that people here respected the private lives of musicians. There was an odd fan here and there, but you'd lived a majority of your "famous" life in Nashville in relative peace. 
You were early to the venue, your friend having wanted to have a chance to see Kacey backstage. You were excited to finally meet the star - though you'd been around the block of fame a bit already, there would always be people that you never had an opportunity to meet in passing. You had been greeted at will call and had been led backstage.
The arena was alive with excitement. At that point, you yourself had never toured a venue that large, so the experience of being backstage and seeing the operations first hand were thrilling and a bit overwhelming. In her dressing room, Kacey pulled you straight into a hug, gushing about how excited she was to watch your career take off. She insisted on sharing her personal cell phone number with you, urging you to call her to get together on a collaboration. You were in shock leaving her room, blown away by her kindness and the way the music industry worked in the most bizarre of ways, when you turned a corner and ran smack into a tall, solid, smiling Harry Styles. His arms had come out quickly to steady you on your heels boots. 
"Fuck," you swore, shaking your head at your clumsiness. "I am so sorry. What a great way to introduce myself."
He laughed and the sound flowed through you, warm and sweet like a cup of tea with honey. "Y'alright?" His eyes looked you over, and you couldn't help but notice the way they lingered. 
Your cheeks blushed and a wave of embarrassment washed over you. "I'm the one that should be asking you that. I don't think your adoring fans would be very happy if I took you out with a textbook tackle right before you're due to go on stage." You took a moment to give him the same appreciative glance he had already given you, admiring the way his deep blue custom-beaded suit jacket fell open to reveal a black dress shirt, unbuttoned halfway down his chest. 
"Ah, 'm fine. Lil' thing like you couldn't do too much damage to me, even in those heels. Don't think they'd be very happy though," he said, nodding his head in acknowledgement of the already-rowdy crowd while offering his hand. "I'm Harry."
You laughed as you introduced yourself, shaking his hand. 
"I've heard that name before, but I'm sorry to say that I don't recognize you. You don't seem like one that's easy to forget."
"I sing, write music," you shrugged, not sure how to explain to a superstar that you were on the way up, yet still somewhere much farther down the fame totem pole than him. "Country, mostly. Not sure if that's on your radar."
"The new stuff's not, but I may have to change that." He was tapped by one of the event producers, needed for another pre-show procedure. "Where will you be tonight?" 
"To your right, in the pit."
He smiled and you had almost immediately fallen in love with the crinkles that appeared under the corners of his eyes. "I'll look out for you. It was wonderful meeting you. Oh, shit, wait, just remembered— may I?" he gestured for the phone that was in your hand and you unlocked it before passing it to him. 
You watched as he dialed a number and put the phone to his ear. He paused for a moment before he grinned. "Hi Harry, it's you from before the show. This is a message to remind you to text this number and ask the owner of it out on a date. She's the one with the beautiful smile and great tackling skills. You won"t have forgotten her. 'Kay, bye!"
You laughed at an almost embarrassing volume, blown away by his cheek. 
"Why not ask 'her' out now?" you pondered to him as he handed the phone back.
"What, and risk getting shot down? Wouldn't want to be sad and disappointed through my whole show, now would I?"
"It would make the ballads a bit more emotional," you had reasoned with a grin.
"Ouch! They're already filled with emotion, love. You'll see, I'll sing 'em right to you if I have to. Gotta run, thank you for letting me use your phone, that was a very important message!"
You laughed again as he took off. "Harry!" you had shouted to get his attention in the busy hall. He turned quickly, a small smile on his face. "She definitely won't say no, but you can wait until later to ask if you want to."
His grin stretched wider and he'd pumped a fist in the air before turning and jogging down the hallway. 
You liked to joke with anyone who knew the story that your life had changed that day all because you met Kacey. Which wasn't a complete lie - it had been her dressing room you'd come out of before slamming into Harry in the hallway. 
///
Singing the last lines of one of your songs, your stomach began to flutter in a bit of nervousness and a lot of excitement. Performing the next cover was something you had been looking forward to for months, and the moment that you got to share it with your fans was finally here. 
You retreat from the mic stand to pass your guitar off to a stagehand, taking another sip of water to settle yourself. 
"Doing alright?" Wyatt, your drummer, shouts over the pounding bass drum and you give him a thumbs up before turning back to face the crowd. 
"I've got one more cover to play for y'all tonight," you say, grasping the mic stand to keep your hands from shaking. "I've been working on getting permission to play this one for quite awhile now. I fell in love with it the first time I heard it played and now here I am, performing it for you all. It's an unreleased piece by a very, very good friend of mine, but his performances of it are all over the internet so some of you may know the words. This song is called Medicine."
The song starts out with a steady bass line and the rhythm centers you a bit, steadying any nerves that still linger. The intro gives you a minute to shake out your shoulders and get comfortable at the mic stand once more like Harry does at each performance. You catch yourself having fun mimicking him and feel thankful that you're able to perform one of your favorite songs of his. When the bass drops in pitch and the electric guitar riffs, you slide in close to the mic stand.
"Here to take my medicine, take my medicine," you sang the opening lines, already settling into the sexy rock sound of the song you and the band had rehearsed relentlessly over the last few weeks. No, the genre wasn't one you normally dabbled in, but part of the fun of performing was taking chances, risks. You had to admit, you liked the sound a lot. It tempted you to branch out a bit more on your upcoming album. 
The opening lines of the first verse throw you back into thoughts of meeting Harry that first night. You hadn't imagined what would follow the concert, let alone have the foresight to see it bringing you to this very moment in time. 
///
You had been standing outside the arena after the concert, ears buzzing and heart thumping still from the incredible show Harry had put on. As soon as he disappeared from the backstage hall earlier, you had immediately saved his number to your phone, still in disbelief over the night's events. 
Your heart had soared when your phone began to vibrate, not in a text message but in a voice call. Harry's name appeared on the screen and your friend had nudged you, clearly approving of the night's turn of events. 
"Harry," you answered, ready to praise him halfway to Sunday on his performance. 
"Let me take you out," he interrupted you. "Right now. Please? Anywhere you want to go." 
You laughed and paused. "Yeah, okay. I might know of a place."
There was a lot of shuffling on his end before his voice came back on the line. "Might've had to do another fist pump."
"Told you she wouldn't say no."
"Where are you?" You heard the smile in his voice, already familiar with it. 
"Demonbreun and John Lewis, headed towards the park."
"Give me 10, I'll pick you up." He paused. "Be careful, okay?"
"I'll stick with the hoards of your fans milling about, maybe ask some of them for the hot gossip on you while I wait."
"Don't believe anything they say," he said, and you could tell he was still smiling as he hung up. 
He and his driver arrived shortly after, Harry's hair damp and covered with a baseball cap, dressed down in black pants and a simple loose white shirt, tattoos peeking out everywhere you looked. He exited the car and opened the back door for you, helping you balance as you stepped up into the large Suburban. 
"We'll go to Pecker's," you said to his driver, laughing as Harry snorted next to you. "Shut up, it's just a bar. Take a right up here onto 24 and it'll take us all the way to Fairfield. It'll be on the right."
He looked at you and smiled before reaching out to hold your hand in the middle seat between you. 
Taking Harry to Pecker's had just felt right. It was where you'd been discovered, where all of your adventures had started, and you weren't sure why but you wanted to share that small part of you with him after watching him up on stage that night. 
"Won't people recognize you? I looked you up before the show, you're apparently a pretty big deal around here." He had asked, smirking, sipping on the locally-brewed beer that Clint, the regular bartender, was serving that night. 
"Locals are pretty good about not interrupting our normal lives. Pecker's isn't as well known to tourists either, so it's a good hideout. This is where a lot of producers, executives and all the other professionals come to unwind." You ignored his comment on your fame and had taken a sip of your margarita instead. "Unless, of course, there's a drag show scheduled, then it's a bit of a madhouse."
Harry laughs into his drink and you grin. "So," he started after a pause, twiddling with the rings on his right hand. "What'd you think?"
"It was incredible," you said without hesitation. "Truly one of the best live shows I've seen in a long time, country acts included. You've got such a magnetism about you that people can't help but want to watch." You blushed a bit, alcohol and the quick comfort of him loosening your lips. "The whole water spraying trick was hot," you admit, making him blush. "And don't tell Stevie, but I think I might prefer your version of The Chain."
"Sacrilege! That's some incredibly high praise," he said, a small smile teasing at the corners of his mouth. 
"Earned and deserved," you said, tilting your glass to his. "Honestly, Harry, you're an incredible musician. There aren't many out there that have the whole package like that."
"What about you? You seem like the whole package."
"I don't know if I'd say that. If you looked me up, you've likely seen what they say about me. 'My attitude won't get me far' and all. But I don't think it's my attitude, so much as it is my willingness to take the risks that others won't. I'm not out here to make music that's just there to be sold. Hell, I couldn't care less about the money. All I want is to create music that makes me feel fulfilled, and I think that honesty scares them." You twirled your finger in the condensation of the glass in front of you. You glanced up to his face finding his eyes already on yours, holding your gaze steadily. "It doesn't scare you, does it?"
"It's the most refreshing thing I've heard in a while. Not many people in the industry are fearless in the face of failure like that."
"I'm definitely not fearless; I just refuse to change who I am to make a buck."
"Who are you then?" Harry had asked, and telling him your story was easy. You couldn't understand how it was so natural, opening up to a stranger, but as the conversation wore on, you realized how similar you and Harry were in terms of the way you conducted your professional lives and that was without apology. 
And you also realized, as the evening continued and you and Harry crept your bar stools closer and closer to one another, feet and knees bumping, his fingers tracing the ridges of your knuckles as you shared life stories like long lost friends, that you didn't want it to end. 
///
"He's acting like a gentleman," you continue, changing up the lyrics slightly as you finish the first verse. The line always made you smile and you let yourself briefly flash back into your reminiscing about the night you'd met Harry, and how, even though he had acted gentlemanly upon dropping you off for the evening, you wanted to be anything but a gentlewoman. 
///
After enjoying drinks late into the evening at Pecker's, Harry had insisted on having his driver take you home rather than allowing you to call an Uber. 
"Such a gentleman," you commented as he opened the car door for you once again. 
"Maybe my gentlemanly actions have motives," he said, sliding his hand along your lower back as you step past him and into the car. Your grin matched his smirk as he shut the door and you decided that he'd been right - not calling an Uber was the right thing to do.
The car ride back to your apartment building was too quick and before you knew it, he was at your door again, offering a hand for you to hold for balance as you exited the car. Neither of you let go as you walked through the lobby towards the elevators. 
"You're uh— You're welcome to come up, if you'd like," you said, suddenly shy but not wanting to chicken out on asking for what you wanted, asking for some continuation of this sweet but likely brief meeting between you two. "For a drink, I mean, or to keep chatting, you know."
Harry smiled and glanced around the empty lobby. His hand in yours smoothed up the length of your arm, over your shoulder, and came to rest at your jaw. "I'd love to, believe me. You have no idea how much I want to." He leaned towards you, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead and your skin burned at the contact of his lips. "But I want to do this the right way. Don't want you to get the wrong idea of me."
"What if I want the wrong idea of you?"
He laughed, the sound open and honest and it had given you hope. "You called me a gentleman earlier and I have to admit that I liked it, coming from you. Would like to keep up the facade that I am, even if it's just for a bit." His face searched yours, each of you trying to read the thoughts that were flying through one another's minds. "You have beautiful lips," he whispered suddenly, his accent thicker than it had been all night. 
Your mouth quirked into a smile, unable to do anything but preen at his compliment. "You do too," you replied, just as softly. 
"Can I kiss you?"
"Please, yes." Before the words had settled he was kissing you, slowly and with too much care, like you would break if he wasn't gentle enough. It was over much too quick but you knew you would remember every moment of it for the rest of your life. 
"Christ, I'd wanted to do that all night." His thumb smoothed over your cheekbone, smiling when you leaned into the touch. He glanced up as the elevator doors swung open and gently nudged you towards them. "Thank you, truly, for a wonderful evening. I promise to give you a call soon."
"I'll send Kacey after you if you don't!" you laughed, stepping into the lift.
"Good night darling." He winked and the doors slid shut, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the delicious ghost of his lips on yours. 
///
"Give me that adrenaline, that adrenaline, think I'm gonna stick with you," you finish the first verse as Ryann rips through the chords on her guitar. You loved that the song built slowly, and even though that meant a quieter beginning, it promised an explosive end. 
Though the crowd had been hesitant at first, you can see that the first few rows of them are nodding along, countless phones out recording the performance. You know that somewhere out there at your request is a member of your press team, professionally filming the cover. You may only be doing it once, but you were determined to make sure you would never forget it.
///
You had enough time at home to check some of your social media accounts, shower and get comfortable in bed before your phone rang again. For the second time that day, your heart soared seeing Harry's name light up your screen.
"If you're going to say that you're downstairs because you've reconsidered my offer for that nightcap, I'll need a few moments to prepare as I'm currently in my pajamas," you said as a greeting and you were met with his warm laughter once again.
"No, no, I had to go back to the arena for a bit anyways, pack up and all of that," he said, still chuckling. "I just— I wanted to make sure you weren't offended by me declining your offer. Because I wanted to— I didn't want the night to end there. There's something about you that's… Transfixing. And I don't want to ruin that and make you think you're just a fling."
"That's quite a compliment," you said, a bit awed by his words.
"What was it you said earlier, "earned and deserved", yeah?" He said, quoting your toast to him at the bar, making you grin. "I want you to be more than that. I'd like to get to know you, the gentlemanly way."
"Okay. Will we have a chaperone at our next date then?" He laughed but didn't correct your referral to that evening as a date. You had snuggled a bit deeper into the sheets, still disbelieving that all of this had been the result of being dragged along to a concert. 
"No chaperones," he chuckled, "but yes, I do want to take you out again, if you'd let me."
"Hmm," you jokingly pondered aloud, as if answering with anything other than a resounding "yes" was on your mind. "I suppose I could fit something into my schedule."
"I hope that's a yes."
"Of course it's a yes! I didn't want the night to end either. And don't you dare say that you just did another fist pump," you had laughed, hearing the familiar shuffling of the phone on his end of the line.
"Me? Never!"
"You're adorable," you had said, a smile stuck on your face.
"And you're beautiful. Two can play this game."
There had been a comforting silence between you for a moment before you had spoken up again. "Harry?"
"Yeah, love?"
You had blushed at the pet name but loved the way it sounded being directed your way. "Thank you," you had whispered. 
"Should be me thanking you. Sleep well sweetheart." You'd fallen asleep with your phone in hand, hopeful that you wouldn't wake up the next morning to realize it had all been a dream.
/// 
It hadn't been a dream, and here you were, nearly two years later, performing one of the songs that Harry himself had sung the night that you'd begun falling for him.
The second verse continued quickly and you let the lyrics wash over you as you sang, loving the way the rock energy of the song sounded with a bit of your band's country influence. 
"Here to take my medicine, take my medicine, rest it on your fingertips," you sang, holding your pointer finger in the air much like Harry did every time he performed the song before bringing it to your lips as you sang the next line. "Up to your mouth, feeling it out, feeling it out."
/// 
Beginning to date Harry - properly date him too, not just make FaceTime calls to one another from across the world and sending texts back and forth until the wee hours of the morning thanks to the differences in time zones, sharing everything and more with one another as best you could digitally - had been the most exhilarating experience of your life, and you had performed in front of sold out crowds and accepted awards on live television. His tour was due to stretch on for almost another month throughout North America and the next time you saw him was when you'd been invited as Harry's guest to his show in Chicago just a few weeks after you'd met. 
While he had put on an incredible show for the United Center, there had been moments that felt like he was performing just for you, glancing over to where you stood in the Friends and Family area, meeting your eyes and grinning. By that point, you could sing along to every song of his and you knew he loved it, loved watching you dance along to the music that he had created and was performing. 
In a moment where you were thankful for the differences between the genres in which you two performed, you hadn't been recognized at all by his fans. You'd both talked about wanting to keep things quiet as you got to know one another, and you hadn't wanted a relationship with him, an already incredibly famous artist, to somehow influence the trajectory of yours. While it had been easy when you were apart, being together without seemingly being together was difficult. Especially in that moment, when all you wanted to do was curl up into him and soak in the post-show bliss with him. Instead, you sat on the couch with him, a cushion apart from one another, holding his hand tightly while you chatted about the concert. 
"Someone is gonna notice that you looked to my side of the pit constantly all night," you said and he grinned guiltily. 
"I like knowing you're in the crowd," he shrugged. "Besides," he scooted closer and threw his arm around you before dragging you in close, "you look incredible, how could I not want to stare at you all night?"
"Anyone could walk in," you pointed out, watching as his eyes followed your lips. 
"Just want a little taste," he said, moving in closer, "Haven't I earned a kiss from my girlfriend after all of that work up on stage?"
Your eyebrows raised in surprise as you looked at him and he seemingly realized his slip-up. 
"I mean— What I meant was— Shit," he scrubbed a hand over his face but you could tell he was hiding a grin. "Wasn't exactly how I wanted to ask you, but… Will you officially be my girlfriend?"
"Yes, H. I'm all yours."
"Love it when you call me H." He pulled you in for a kiss that you both lost yourselves in, finally able to experience the feeling of one another after being denied it for so long. When a knock at the dressing room door came, Harry had to all but drag himself away from you, hair disheveled and lips swollen, scowling at the door. 
You threw your head back and laughed as he stalked over and pulled it open with a flourish. 
"What?"
"The hell's your issue?" you heard Mitch ask before Harry widened the door so he could see you laughing on the couch. You raised a hand in greeting and Harry's scowl deepened as Mitch chuckled, taking in both of your disheveled appearances. "Oh, shit, hey, sorry. Uh, car's ready when you are. See you tomorrow bud." 
"Harry!" you chided once he'd closed the door in Mitch's face, giggles still bubbling out of your mouth. "He was just being polite."
"Interrupting arse is what he is," Harry said, sitting down and pulling you into his lap. "Where were we?"
You threw your arms around his neck and pressed your body as close to his as possible, hoping that he'd thought to lock the door before returning to your embrace. "Right about here, I think." With a hand on your hip, sliding under your shirt to reach warm skin and one at the back of your neck, Harry kissed you until you were breathless and not only wanting more but very seriously needing it. 
"Come back to the hotel with me," he murmured against your lips as you ground your body down on him, reveling in the way the action made him throw his head against the back of the couch and exhale sharply. 
"You sure?" Your hands smoothed over the chest of his skin, tracing the dark swallows with your fingertips as you rolled your hips. 
He shuddered at the light touch and gripped your hips tightly, pressing his up as you pressed yours down and the action made you sigh, the pressure a delicious tease of what was hopefully to come. "Absolutely," he said, his grin telling you he was pleased with the noises he was causing you to make. "Want you so bad, like I won't be able to breathe right until I properly have you."
You leaned in to kiss at his neck, his shower-damp curls tickling your cheek. "The feeling is mutual. Adored watching you up on stage tonight. Have I told you yet how much I love seeing you perform?" You nuzzle at his neck, urging him to tilt his head back farther, exposing more of his skin to you. 
"Yeah, you have, but tell me again," he sighed, his hands running up and down your back. 
"It's like when you get on stage no one else before or after you matters," you said honestly, letting your lips against his skin hide how truthful you were really being, spilling all of your thoughts about seeing Harry up on stage. It was scary, feeling so deeply for him already. But you wanted him to know, at least in part, what it meant to be able to watch him perform. "Something about your live voice just makes my breath catch in my throat, I can't get enough of it."
Harry breathed deeply for a moment, working to center himself while you nosed at the curls around his ear and heaped praise upon him. 
"It's like you connect with every person out in the crowd, like you're singing just for them. You can tell that you're having fun and people want to join you in that. They know you love the attention," you whispered and he hummed in appreciation (or agreement), the sound low in his throat. "They'd stay out there all night for if they could, screaming about how much they love you."
"And you feed into it, playing it up for them. You know exactly what you're doing when you get to act a little bit naughty up there, driving them all mad," you said with a smile. 
He chuckled and you could hear and feel the sound rumble through him. "Played it up for you tonight. Did it work?" 
"You mean did it make me want to jump your bones the second you came off stage? Yeah, it worked."
"Fucking hell," he said, holding you close with his hands on your butt as he stood up. "Our first time is not going to be in a dressing room so we need to go now."
He let you slide down his body and held you steady as you balanced on your legs. "Would be pretty fitting though, don't you think, given how we met and what we do?"
"Yeah, but then I'd think about it every time I was in one. You wanna torture me relentlessly?" He pulled you tight against him, kissing you once more before separating to grab his bags. 
"Yeah, relentless torture sounds like something I might be into." 
He glanced up at your words, eyes dark and hungry, a smirk on his lips. "Careful what you wish for, love." 
///
The bass line increased behind the riff of Ryann's guitar and you leaned into the mic stand, eyes closing as you continued singing the first bridge. "I had a few, got drunk on you and now I'm wasted, and when I sleep I'm gonna dream of how you…"
There were a few fans of yours and Harry's who apparently knew the words as they helped you out, screaming the unwritten word that finished the sentence: "tasted."
///
Harry was quick to say goodbye to everyone on the team before pulling you quickly through back hallways and down quiet staircases, sneaking quick kisses when he was sure there was no one around. You were both out of breath when you finally climbed into the car, grinning like kids getting away with sneaking around. 
The hotel ride was quick, mercifully, but Harry had been anything but patient, his hand at your knee creeping up slowly, closer and closer to the hem of your dress, toying with the hem while he chatted with the driver. 
"I'm gonna head in first with Martin and Eric will loop around and drop you off at the side entrance. I would wait in the lobby for you but this hotel hasn't been the best in the past with uh— containing sensitive information, we'll say, so Martin will meet you on your floor to get your stuff, then bring you up. Is that okay?"
"You sound like you've done this before, Styles," you said with a wink, using humor to cover the nerves that had settled in the pit of your stomach. 
He blushed and you loved knowing you got under his skin so easily. "The band used to stay here when we toured… and I was young and dumb once, yes."
"Just giving you a hard time, H."
His grin stretched as he leaned over to peck your lips once more. "See you in a minute, love."
Harry climbed out and the driver took off once again, slowly circling the block. "He's quite taken with you, you know," he said, glancing up in the rear view mirror as he parked the car at the curb. He got out and opened the door for you in the empty street then used his keycard to unlock the heavy side door of the hotel.
"Thank you," you said, both for his actions and his omission about Harry. Sure, you had talked to him as often as possible over the last weeks and had yourself been on the receiving end of his attention, but it felt validating to hear that Harry's feelings for you may have gone a bit farther than just a small crush if people around him had also noticed his behavior. 
Harry's bodyguard was waiting by the elevators and escorted you to your room to gather your luggage, then led you to Harry's door.
"Car'll be around about 9 tomorrow morning, H. Flight's at 10:30." He turned to you. "I understand you have business to continue here in Chicago?"
"Yes, meetings tomorrow and then I fly back to Nashville in the evening."
"There'll be a driver ready for you tomorrow as well. He's been instructed to take you wherever you need to go and he'll stay until you depart. Have a nice evening," he nodded at Harry, who was smiling in the doorway, before departing.
"You didn't have to do that for me, I could've managed by getting an Uber," you said, stepping into the room past Harry to set your bags down and kick your shoes off. 
"I didn't, was Martin's idea; says he doesn't want anything to happen to the one thing that's made me so happy these last few weeks."
"Oh yeah? I'm the one thing, huh?"
"You're everything, honestly," he replied a bit sheepishly, taking your hands in his. "Think I might like you a bit more than I already should. Lettin' my heart get a bit ahead of my head, I suppose."
"Yeah, I know the feeling," you said softly and he beamed. 
He moved his hands up to cup your face, pulling you close for a sweet kiss that quickly turned insistent, heat rising between the two of you. Harry slid his hands under the hem of your shirt to rest where your spin ended and yours wrapped around his neck, dragging him down to you as you stepped behind you towards the bed. His long legs tangled with yours and you tumbled backwards, laughing as you hit the plush bed and Harry collapsed on top of you.
He propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at you with a smile, pushing the hair that had fallen into your face aside. "Hi baby," he said softly.
"Hi."
"Missed you," he said, leaning down for another sweet kiss. 
"We were apart for like, eight minutes," you giggled between his kisses, your laughter giving way to a sigh as he moved to press a kiss to your nose, your cheek, your chin.
"Doesn't matter," he breathed into the crook of your neck, pressing small open mouth kisses to the soft skin there, "Any time apart is too long."
"The two weeks left of the tour will fly by. You should enjoy them while you can."  
"Wish you could come with me, love performing for you." He kissed his way across the base of your neck, collarbone to collarbone as his fingers trailed to the small straps on your shoulders. "Would you like to take this off?"
"Please," you sighed, desperate and aching for the feeling of his skin against yours. 
Your first time sleeping with Harry had been exactly what you'd wanted and expected - hot and fast, admittedly over a bit more quickly than either of you had wanted, but worth the weeks of wait. 
Harry's skill set hadn't ended at singing and playing instruments. If anything, his vast experience using his hands and mouth only helped him excel in other pastimes that also utilized those parts of his body. To both of your delights, he had proven his adeptness in all areas multiple times that night, and once again in the morning before he had to rush into the shower, dragging you along with him simply to get more time together before you were forced apart once again. 
/// 
You had spent the next two months away from one another, Harry having wrapped his tour and immediately beginning work on his next album. You'd spent your own time mixed between writing and recording an upcoming single. You had already written a handful of songs that were inspired by him and you'd wondered, albeit a bit nervously, if the sentiment was shared. When he stopped in Nashville on a long layover, pushing his flight back even longer to stay with you for another night, you'd tried to pry the information out of him. Unfortunately, no amount of sexual teasing or denial had convinced him — he, however, had you singing like a canary almost immediately, teasing you in the best way about how easily you opened up for him, telling him all about the music that he had already inspired.
You had been FaceTiming him late one night weeks later, both tired from long days spent in the studio. He had suddenly gotten shy, biting at the skin around his fingernails. 
"Hey, stop that. What's the matter H?"
"Wanna ask you something," he mumbled, but a smile was peeking through where his fingers were still at his lips. "Jus' don't know how to."
"Baby," you sighed, "you can ask me anything. Y'know that." 
"I know, I know." He paused and took a deep breath before a wide smile stretched across his face. "Would you maybe want to come home with me this Christmas? To London? Wouldn't be for long, maybe just a couple nights, I just wanna introduce you to my mum already, she's been pestering me nonstop lately 'bout meetin' you and Gem's joined in on it now too, so it's two against one when they call and I've told them that—"
"Harry," you said chucking, trying to interrupt his nervous rambling.
"—and she actually called me Harold last time she told me to bring you 'round and that got me a bit worried so I—"
"Harry! Of course I'll come with you. I'd absolutely love to."
You met him at the airport weeks later, desperate to pull him close and kiss him silly in the confines of his darkly tinted car, but you refrained, knowing how seriously Harry took the protection of your relationship from the press. You may not have been able to see anyone straining to capture pictures of you two, but you knew there was always the chance. 
It was an entirely different story, however, when he'd finally pulled the car past the mechanical gate and into his private drive. You both reached for each other immediately, arms tangled and shifter knob pressed uncomfortably against your side, but perfectly content so long as his lips were against yours. 
"Fuck— I missed you— so much," he muttered between kisses. He pulled away, forehead resting against yours, sly smirk pulling at his lips. "Mum won't expect us for a few hours at least."
"What is it that you're insinuating, Mr. Styles?"
"That there's plenty of time to give you a tour around the house, that's all," he said innocently. He gave you a sweet smile before hopping out of the car and coming to the passenger side where he helped you out and picked up your bags.
You were eager to be given a house tour, more than keen to learn all of the things you could about his London life. The house was decorated in a way that made you smile - eclectic but with a definitive air of cohesive taste. It suited Harry to an absolute tee. From the artwork that decorated the walls to the mismatched but homey furniture, you could tell immediately that this was Harry's sanctuary - every inch of the home screamed his name. 
"It's incredible," you said as he led you into the largest room, the master. He walked over to the dresser that sat under the window and pulled open the top two drawers. 
"I know we won't be here long, this time around, but I cleaned out a few drawers for you here, if you want to unpack some things. And there's space in the closet for you too," he nodded towards the door on the other side of the room, dragging a hand through his hair as he talked, "I had too much in there anyways and some of it needed to go and I wanted you to be able to leave some things, if you felt comfortable, of if Mum drags us out shopping and you don't want to take it all home now you can leave it here and-"
"You- you cleared out a drawer for me?"
"Well, yeah," he said, resting his hand on the back of his neck. "Made some space for you in the bathroom too, though I doubt it'll be enough, with all that you bring along to fix yourself up." He paused and thought for a moment. "I know how our lives are. I just wanted you to have some of your own space here; want you to feel as comfortable in my home as I do. Is that too much?" 
"H," you said with a sigh, your lips curling into a smile, "it's perfect, and so thoughtful. I'm sorry I haven't done the same for you in Nashville yet."
"'s alright, love. I've already got a toothbrush there at least. I can take some time when we fly back to come and help if you'd like me to. As long as you don't end up wearing all the clothes that I leave there," he chuckled.
"You know me too well," you said, reaching for his hand. He lifted your entwined fingers to his lips to brush a kiss over your knuckles.
"You do look good in my clothes," he confessed, pulling you close to face him. "Look good in my house. But you always look good anyways."
"Said the pot to the kettle," you said with a smile. "I like being here already," you shrug, hands resting on his shoulders. "It feels like you, like home. Thank you for inviting me," you add, as though the measly voicing of your appreciation is enough to convey what you truly feel. 
"You're welcome anytime, if I'm here or not."
"You trust me that much?"
"Yeah, I do. I'll get you a key and everything." He leaned down to kiss you slowly, relearning the map of your lips and mouth, before pulling away. He laughed when you made a noise of protest.
"The bathroom's over here if you'd like to freshen up." He had pulled at your hand, stepping towards the other open door in the room. "Figured a shower might sound nice after a long day in an airplane. Besides, I've gotta clean up before we go to Mum's anyways."
"Gonna join me?" 
"Yeah, thought I might, if that's okay." His smirk had been wicked as he pushed you the rest of the way into the bathroom. He dropped your hand to reach for the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head quickly. As he reached for the buckle of his pants, he had met your staring eyes. "See something you like, love?"
You definitely had, though you didn't think your attraction — physically or emotionally — for Harry had stopped at something that was as weak as "like." Getting to know him over the last six months had made you worry that there wasn't ever going to be anyone else like him, anyone that made you feel like he did. You had fallen for him, desperately hard, and the realization of it as you stood in front of his half-naked self almost embarrassed you. 
"Babe? You alright?" he asked as he stripped down to his boxers. 
"Yeah, you just got me all distracted," you had grinned, pulling your sweatshirt and remaining clothes off quickly before joining Harry under the warm spray of the water.
Meeting Harry's mom that evening went better than you could've ever dreamt it would. The two of you got on like old friends, and Harry had stared, almost in wonder, at how easily you seemed to bond with her. And then he had stared in horror as Anne offered to pull out the photo albums filled with pictures from Harry's childhood, particularly when Anne offered up the album filled with photos from Harry's and Gemma's emo phases. 
As the evening wore on, you caught Harry on more than one occasion glancing your way, cheeks bright from the red wine he was sipping on and eyes warmly reflecting the bright Christmas lights. He always looked like he was a split second away from saying something, only to shake his head and look away with a small smile. 
Later, in bed, Harry pulled you close to him. He was laying on his back, you on your side, and you threw a leg over his waist, soaking in all of the cuddles you could get on this short trip together. The room was only illuminated by the ambient light coming in through the blinds. 
"Mum liked you a lot," he murmured, gently stroking the skin at the base of your spine, "said I should hang onto you". 
You returned the gesture, running your fingertips along the lines of ink that make up his many tattoos. "I liked her too. She's wonderful, I see where you get it from now."
"Hey now, 'm wonderful all on my own!" He tickled your side and you couldn"t help but arch towards him, shrieking and laughing at the touch. 
"Stop that! You are an absolute pest, you know that?" you said, grinning up at him.
"Ah, you love me," he whispered, and his joking tone made you smile but the way he pulled you tighter as he said it made you brave. 
You let the weight what you were about to say wash over you, aware that things were going to change forever with just a few words. "I do love you, Harry," you whispered, moving up his body to press a kiss to his lips.
"Thank God," he had said, wrapping his arms back around you and pulling you on top of him. "Cause I love you too."
Leaving Harry after that had been even more difficult. All you wanted to do was be with him, but you had too much coming up with the future release of your album and Harry was still in the midst of doing his own writing and recording. 
It was your professions, along with the desire to keep your relationship private, that kept you apart. You weren't sure how you did it, but your relationship had withstood the distance and odd-hours. The only step now would be deciding if, when, and how to confirm the suspicions to tabloids and fans alike that you were an item.
The wait was killing you. All you wanted was to show off to the world that Harry was yours.
///
The bridge of the song was followed quickly by the chorus and the heavy guitar and pounding drums had you rocking on your feet, body swaying into the mic stand as you let yourself get lost in the lyrics. "If you go out tonight, I'm going out 'cause I know you're persuasive."
The crowd was even more into the song now, many picking up on the words quickly and screaming them along with your singing. The rock and roll vibe of the song was coursing through you and the crowd, the arena electric with energy already. 
"You got that something, I got me an appetite, now I can taste it."
You remove the mic from the stand and dance towards one end of the stage, singing as you move to the beat. "We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh! La da da da da! You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh!"
///
You had been on the phone with Harry one day in July, nearly five months after the release of your album, having him help you decide what the setlist of your tour would be when it began in November. 
"I wish I could cover one of your songs."
He had laughed and slurped his tea, the sounds comforting to you, even over the phone. "That'd be a bit obvious, wouldn't it love?"
"I don't mean cover Golden or Kiwi," you said, tapping your pen against the pad of paper in front of you. "What about one you wrote for 1D? What about Perfect? Or Stockholm Syndrome! That was always one of my favorites."
"Getting permission on those might be a bit more difficult, s'not just me that's gotta sign off on it. Besides, do you really wanna be the artist that covers a One Direction song on her own headlining tour?"
"Guess I'll stick with singing along to them in the shower then."
You were both quiet for a moment, lost in your own thoughts. 
"What if I covered Medicine?" you asked suddenly, realizing it was the perfect compromise, not to mention your favorite song that Harry himself performed oh his own tour. The rock sound wasn't a far cry from the roots that country music had and you knew it would sound great. "Even if it was just for one stop!"
"Hmm," Harry mused. "It would sound great with the band, I'll give you that. But videos will go around, people will know it's my song you're singing and they'll connect the dots about us."
"H, I'm ready for that if you are. I love you, and I'm ready to be able to share that love that I have for you with the world. Sneaking around has been fun but I want people to know how proud of you I am and how much you're loved and appreciated. Half of our fans know already, it's just a matter of us confirming it. I think that we could really-"
Harry was laughing at your rambling on the other end of the line. "Alright, alright, you drive a hard bargain, love. I think you're right, maybe it is time we stopped sneaking around. I'll try, but Jax and everyone else still have to agree to it too. It might be easier to convince everyone if it's just a one time thing. Pick another cover, something you'd normally do, in case it takes some time to work things out."
"I'll ask him right now! Thank you Harry!"
"I just have one condition," he said, and you could hear the grin that was surely pulling at the corners of his lips. 
"What's that?"
"I get to perform it with you," he had said, and the smile already on your face widened exponentially. "If we're finally gonna make "us" public, may as well do it with a bang."
///
In the moment after the chorus, an 8 count beat is carried by the drummer and guitarist. For this performance, and the only performance you'd put on of this song, you had rehearsed the 8 count repeating once between the chorus and the next verse, as you needed a bit of extra time to announce your guest performer. 
"Ladies and gentlemen," you shout into the mic, grin wide and face beaming already at what was about to take place. "To help me finish this performance, please help me welcome my very good friend, Harry Styles!"
Harry emerges from behind the stage holding his own wireless mic as much of the crowd screams - he may not be a country artist, but he was absolutely known worldwide. You step back with a wave of your arm, smiling as he begins the next chorus. His performance is for the crowd but he's singing the words directly to you. 
"Tingle running through my bones, fingers to my toes, tingle running through my bones," he sings, voice smooth like whiskey, and the crowd adores him, eating out of the palm of his hand. "The boys and the girls are in, I mess around with them, and I'm OK with it." 
You can't help but dance as he sings, his voice and the energy of the crowd propelling you to move. He watches you, eyes no longer on the crowd, as he sings the next lines. Immediately, heat pools low in your belly at his glance and the words. 
"I'm coming down, I figured out I kinda like it. And when I sleep I'm gonna dream of how you…"
You gyrate your hips at the unsung line of "ride it", listening with a sly grin as some in the crowd scream the two words that go unsung. 
///
After giving him a key, Harry had moved some of his clothes to your apartment in Nashville some time while you were away on the first leg of your tour. He had found the city to be incredibly welcoming and inspirational for his upcoming album and had decided to stay there for a spell while you continued to tour around the country. 
You had scheduled a short break between your concerts over New Years, wanting to be able to grab at least one or two nights at home with him to celebrate the holiday before you were back on the road again. 
"So fucking glad you're home," Harry panted, pulling your shirt over your head before attaching his lips to yours once again. "Missed you like crazy."
"Missed you too," you moaned as his lips moved downwards, across your neck and over your collarbones, down the valley between your breasts. Before he could reach around to unhook your bra, you reached for his shirt, as desperate as he was to see and touch what you'd been missing. 
As he pulled the half-unbuttoned blouse over his head, you pulled your leggings off and reached for him, pushing him back onto the bed behind him. He unbuttoned his pants as he scooted up towards the middle of the bed, shoving them and his boxers off in one swoop. 
You climbed on top of him, hurriedly reaching to kiss him as you rubbed your clothed center along the length of his hard cock. 
"Fuck," he hissed, throwing his head back to allow you room to kiss his neck. "Desperate aren't you, darling?"
"Want you so bad it hurts," you whispered, sucking a bright hickey right where it would absolutely be seen by anyone.
You moved to continue kissing down his chest but he stopped you with a hand under your arm. "Not gonna last long, love. Wanna be inside you."
His cheeks and chest were flushed bright red, lips puffy and pupils blown wide. This was when you loved him most, being able to have him like no one else did. The same feeling always hit you at certain moments, particularly ones of domesticity, like when you watched him back the car out of the driveway or when he stood in the kitchen in the morning in nothing but socks, boxers, and his ratty old robe, singing along to old big band jazz as he waited for the coffee to brew. There was Harry Styles the musician, Harry Styles the actor, and Harry Styles the performer, but then there was your Harry. 
"Yeah, okay," you sighed, moving off of him quickly to remove your bra and panties. You climbed back onto the bed and threw your leg over his hips, straddling him. He immediately reached for you and pulled you flush against his chest, his lips capturing yours in a bruising kiss. 
You rocked your hips against him as he held you, your slick arousal gliding along his length, drawing a moan from both of you. 
"Baby, please," he panted, and you could only mod in agreement, lost already to the sweeping feeling of your close release. 
His hands rested on your hips as you positioned him at the entrance between your legs. You groaned in harmony as you worked down him slowly, the only sound in the room was your shared heavy breathing and gasps. 
"Fuck me," he sighed as you set a slow pace, rocking on top of him to reach each spot that you know will get you there. 
"Workin' on it," you grin. A quick swivel of your hips hit at just the right angle and you tossed your head back, repeating the movement over and over again until you shuddered with a final snap of tension, your orgasm rolling over you as Harry helped you move, hands tight on your hips, to wring all you could from the release. 
"You look so beautiful right now, like a fuckin' angel," Harry said, voice low and gravely, accent thick with need. 
"How's that line go?" you said as you slowed down, smirking when a harsh rock of your hips caused Harry to moan. "'Turns out she's a devil in between the sheets'?"
"Fuck," he groaned again, eyes closed tightly. "Can't just go reciting my own lyrics to me while I"m buried in ya like this, love."
"And there's nothing you can do about it," you continued, singing the line of his song this time, and his hips buck up into yours harshly.
"You're gonna pay for that," he had said, quoting another of his songs, before he had flipped you over onto your back and set his own brutal pace.
///
Like he can read your thoughts, Harry beams and wags a finger in your direction and the crowd screams at your chemistry together. You grab your mic from its stand and take a step towards Harry to sing the chorus together.
"If you go out tonight, I'm going out 'cause I know you're persuasive." Harry dances off to the side of the stage, performing once again for the crowd. 
You dance at center stage with your wireless mic, too excited about performing with Harry that you can't stand in one spot. The music and Harry's energy make you want to move. "You got that something, I got me an appetite, now I can taste it." 
"We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh! La da da da da!" Harry throws his head back, singing along in his own world and you can't look away from him. He really was a rockstar and getting to share the stage with him like this was an experience you'd never forget. 
"You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh!"
There's a great pause in the lyrics where the guitar, keyboard, and drums play together, increasing the tension of the song. You and Harry take off towards opposite ends of the stage, both reveling in the performance for the crowd as you dance and stomp to the beat. Eventually, with a slide down the keys of the keyboard, the instrumental quiets into just the steady beat of the bass line joined by the hi-hats. 
You and Harry urge the crowd to clap along as you both return to the middle of the stage to sing together once again. He always said that this portion of the song was one of his favorites to perform, the repeated line from the bridge ending abruptly with the lights going out before flashing back on, the added theatrics of the performance elevating the climax of the song completely. Having rehearsed that Harry would sing the following chorus alone, you let yourself get lost in his gaze as it settles on you.
You stand facing one another behind the mic stand, once again singing more to one another rather than to the crowd. You step closer towards him as the lyrics progress, nearly chest to chest now with your voices sharing one another's mics. "I had a few, got drunk on you and now I'm—"
Before you can sing the last word of the line and the lights can blink out as rehearsed, Harry leans forwards and captures your mouth in a hungry kiss. The crowd erupts with screams as the lights above the stage go dark.
You can feel rather than hear him say the words "I love you" against your lips and you have just enough time to repeat them back to him before the drums and guitar pick the beat up once again, the lights flashing back on brightly. He moves away and continues to sing the chorus that follows as if nothing had happened. You're a bit stunned, not having prepared for his relationship-revealing public display of affection to happen during your performance of his song but it was perfect and he knows it. Your smile is wide and you can't help but stand rooted where you are and laugh at what has just finally happened.
"If you go out tonight, I'm going out 'cause I know you're persuasive," he sings, smirking at you while you blush across from him. 
You join him in singing the last lines, your right hand joining his left hand where everyone can see your fingers entwine. 
"You got that something, I got me an appetite, now I can taste it. We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh!"
You urge the crowd with a waving hand to join in and they do, singing along with you and Harry. "La da da da da! You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh!"
The drums and guitar end the song on five quick beats and the crowd erupts once again in screams. You immediately jump towards Harry, throwing your arms around his neck in a close embrace. His hands wrap around your waist to hold you close, and you can feel him smile where his face is pressed close to your jaw.
"How was that?" he asks, chuckling against you.
"It was perfect, you're perfect. Thank you, H. For everything."
"Can take you on a proper date now, yeah? Wanna show my girl off to the world."
"Yes, please!" You can't wipe the smile from your face as he sets you down and Harry continues to beam at you as the crowd continues screaming, reeling from your shared performance. 
Harry nudges you gently before turning back to them, lifting his and your arms high in the air and leading you in bending for a bow. He steps away from you and turns, opening his arms wide to you for the crowd to praise and you laugh, tearing up at his gesture and the overwhelming emotions of the performance while you take another bow just for yourself. 
He pulls you into another hug and you can't help but angle your face up towards him, wordlessly asking for another very quick, very public kiss.
He glances down at you, smiling. "You're gonna love this now, aren't you?"
"Course I am. love showing them you're mine."
He leans down to peck your forehead, your nose, and finally, your lips, as the crowd goes wild. "Love showing them you're mine. You've got a show to finish, love. Go kill it."
///
Ahh! So much fun! This has been such a joy to write and I appreciate you taking the time to give it a chance! It’s my first (of hopefully many) Harry fics - reading all of the stories here has been immensely inspiring, and I’m so looking forward to writing more!
Tagging my love @morganlatte​ who is a wonderful hype woman and beta reader. Thanks buddy!
Anyways! Thank you for reading! My love language is words of affirmation (aka I have a praise kink) so leave me a comment here if you feel so inclined!
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iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years ago
Text
Learning to Swim
Request: (whenever you have time of course.) What about a post-war draco malfoy x reader where after astoria dies draco and scorpius are left alone for a couple years then he sees y/n a friend from Hogwarts and they fall in love again (you can decide how). this is my vision and I'm a sucker for post-war fics with draco. 🥺💕 - @obx-beach
A/N: I LOVED THIS REQUEST SO MUCH. Thank you so much for requesting it and for trusting me with your request! It got away from me but I really wanted to explore this idea in depth because for me, anyway, grief isn't something that disappears over time, but rather, becomes bearable. Please read the warnings before reading, I cover some heavy topics. As always, I hope you like it!
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader
Warnings: heavy talk of grief and loss, some swearing, mentions of food, alcohol consumption, mentions of ghosts, a very cheesy ending.
Word count: 11.9k
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Draco so rarely finds peace nowadays; a consequence of a confidently walking toddler who’s penchant for curiosity has him grabbing at what he can – the paper, the rug, the dog’s tail.
Draco so rarely find peace nowadays, but once a week, on a Saturday, he drops Scorpius off at his parents. His mother and father doting over the blonde-haired boy who looks more like his mother everyday despite the argument from Narcissa – “He has your nose, Draco!”
On the days he drops his son off at the manor, he apparates to the familiar black gates. They squeak whenever he opens them and no matter how many times he visits, he never remembers to bring the oil he promises to fetch.
Now, he doesn’t look at the names as he makes his way towards the familiar row, hands in his pockets, shoes sinking in the wet grass.
Before, he’d drag his feet. Reading every name he could as he struggled to come to terms with his disbelief and grief.
The granite headstone sits prettily above its plot; the marker for Draco to slow his pace to an amble.
She had died a Malfoy but had been buried in the Greengrass plot.
Draco had known of Astoria Greengrass for years; had been schooled with her sister but had known the family personally for years due to similar social circles, and as a result, social functions. Draco spent ball after ball getting to know the younger Greengrass sister much to the chagrin of Pansy Parkinson who still held a candle for Draco since their fling ended in Fifth Year.
He worked up the nerve to ask Astoria to dinner after a particularly hellish function where his father had pushed him to dance with every available girl that looked his way. For the most part, Draco accepted – wanting to keep his father happy and his mother hopeful. But through every dance, through every twirl on the floor, his eyes would wander back to where Astoria sat very intently focused on the napkin design.
On his third circuit of the dancefloor, Draco broke away from his dance partner earning a glare for his disrespect. He apologised with a smile but turned to the brunette sitting alone; he held his hand to her, and she took it with the grace of a well-raised daughter.
They span around the dancefloor; circle after circle after circle. They laughed, and they smiled, and they settled into a happy silence. One Draco felt so comfortable in that by the time they had finished their second dance together, Draco was certain he wanted to marry her.
By the end of the night, Astoria knew she wanted to marry him.
They were married less than six months after that night.
Three months after they were married, Astoria announced her pregnancy. Rumours started; stating that was the real cause for their quick wedding. But their families knew different; their families spent the entirety of the pregnancy wrapped in a cocoon of worry.
Then blood curse on the Greengrass family meant that Astoria would die at a young age, and Draco had prepared himself for that. Though, in private, he researched what he could to see if he could break the blood curse. This meant, however, the pregnancy was watched closely by Narcissa, by Daphne, and by multiple Healers flooed in from St Mungos.
Nine months later, on an unusually warm day in January, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy was born. Immediately, Draco knew that though he had his hair, Scorpius had his mother’s eyes and mouth.
Three hours after the birth of her son; as she held him tightly in her arms, watching him with the love only a mother could know, Astoria Malfoy nee Greengrass took her last breath.
-----------
The months after her death, Draco barely coped. He woke up in the mornings solely for Scorpius and Scorpius alone. He devoted his time to his son, marking every milestone in his baby scrapbook which on occasion he would take to his wife’s grave and go through it with her. Scorpius never visited the grave; for starters, he was too young, Draco wouldn’t let his son go through that but his son knew that his mother was no longer with them.
But that didn’t stop Scorpius asking for his mother after a nightmare had pulled him from sleep.
Narcissa tried to help; tried everything she could to help with his grief – at one point even suggesting he go see a psychic, but the fear of transference was enough to put Draco off the idea.
He didn’t have the heart to tell his mother that he didn’t need a psychic to tell him Astoria had made it to the other side and that she had found peace.
She haunted him nearly every night.
Flashes of her white night gown in the corner of his eye; glimpses of her beautiful face in the mirror.
His heart would race, and his palms would sweat as the panic set in.
For a long while, he believed himself to be going insane. The sheer grief he felt at the loss of his wife driving him to madness as though he were Heathcliff suffering the loss of his Cathy.
------
Draco had memorised the inscription on her headstone after visiting for a month straight.
He had memorised the path to her grave by the end of the first week; the soil still needing to settle.
His feet knew where the uneven ground would be, so it was all dodged expertly.
Draco has very little to say to Astoria when he kneels in front of her. He updates her on Scorpius; promises that he will bring him soon, but it was still too early for his son to see his mother.
In fact, most of his time at the grave is spent in silence. His knees soaking wet from the morning dew still covering the grass.
“Draco? Is that you?” A chiming voice asks as Draco’s head remains bent over his wife’s grave. He releases a sigh before looking up to see that it’s you – someone he hasn’t seen in years. The last he saw of you; you were stood defiantly facing the hordes of Death Eaters in courtyard at Hogwarts.
“(Y/N)?” He asks.
You frown, pointing towards the grave where his wife lies in perpetual sleep, “I heard, but I didn’t believe. I’m sorry for your loss, Draco.”
“Thank you,” he murmurs, “Why are you here? If you don’t mind me asking.”
You hold the flowers in your hand up in response, “I lost my grandfather less than a year back. I visit every week.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. He was a great man.” Draco murmurs, shame washing over him from his curt tone.
“Thank you,” You murmur quietly, “It’s still hard.”
Draco wants to offer words of comfort; to tell you that pain eases over time, but he would be lying to your face. The pain doesn’t ease, and the grief doesn’t lessen, it simply moves to one side and becomes bearable until something reminds you of the one you’ve lost whether it be a sound or a smell and then the pain washes over you like a tidal wave and you start to wonder whether you’ll come up for air or simply drown.
Draco decides not to say anything; turning back to face the woman he had pledged his life too.
You walk away after a slow nod; you wouldn’t get anything more out of him now.
-----
They say that time heals, that grief lessens, but it doesn’t.
Draco loves his son; he adores his son, but he cannot help but see him as a reminder of what he lost on the day of his birth.
He had gained a son; an heir to carry on the Malfoy name but he had lost the love of his life.
Draco leaves the graveyard soon after his encounter with you; feeling surly with how he had spoken to you.
He searches you before he leaves, but he finds you knelt at the grave of your grandfather with your head bent as the silent sobs rack your body.
He leaves you to your privacy; understanding that right now, intrusion is the last thing needed.
------------
Draco sits in the living room of his marital home that night; a tumbler of whisky in his hand as he leans back in the chesterfield armchair gifted to him by his parents as part of their wedding present.
The wedding present being the house.
There are reminders of Astoria all over the house; from the pattern of the curtains to her photos lining the walls. She was everywhere. How was he was supposed to start living his life when his house remained a mausoleum?
He feels the hand on his shoulder; he doesn’t need to turn to see who it is.
“You need to stop doing this, Draco,” She murmurs.
He sighs through his nose, “I don’t see why.”
“You’re hurting everyone around you; you didn’t use to be like this.”
“It’s been a trying time, love.”
“I know it has. For both you and Scorpius, but it’s been three years, darling.”
The air in the room has become cold; too cold. To the point where his breath has started to fog; he takes a sip of the amber liquid to warm his body through.
“I can’t forget you, I won’t. He has no memories of you; he needs me to remember you.”
The voice behind him shakes, “My love, you’ll never forget me. I live on in him.”
Draco doesn’t say anything; the lump in his throat making it impossible for him to speak. The absolute yearning with him has him reaching up to take the hand settled on his shoulder.
The tears start to fall when his hand falls through the ghostly spectre.
-----
Morning comes and Draco wakes in the same chair he had fallen asleep in. He scratches at the stubble lining his face as he stretches his legs, bones popping as he stands to full height.
The clock on the mantle chimes seven times and Draco supposes he should start the day and collect his son from the Manor. He hadn’t been in any state last night to have him at home; it was better for Scorpius to stay with his grandparents.
The light to the bathroom flickers as Draco drags himself into the shower; the hot water and lavender shower gel doing a good job at leeching the tension that had become set into his shoulders.
He wipes the steam from the mirror before lathering his face with shaving cream and beginning the soothing action of shaving. Narcissa preferred him clean shaven anyway; believed that the stubble made him look like a vagrant.
A flash of white in the corner of his eye has Draco freezing with the razor halfway to his cheek.
His hand begins to shake, and he places the razor back in the sink as he braces himself on the counter. He counts to ten before he dares to look back up at himself in the mirror.
He was being haunted.
------
In the years after the Second Wizarding War, Narcissa had taken it upon herself to entirely renovate Malfoy Manor from the dark, dank place it was to make it more of a home for her family. A home in which Draco should have been raised in.
Narcissa greets him at the door with a kiss on the cheek and a concerned look that only a mother could pull off.
“Good Morning Mother, how are we today?”
“I’d be a lot better if you looked better. Did you get any sleep?”
Draco nods, thinking to the few hours in the armchair, “I got some.”
“Not enough by the looks of it, but at least you shaved. Have you eaten yet?”
He shakes his head, “I came straight here.”
“Luckily for you, Scorp is still eating.”
Draco hangs his coat on the grand railing by the door before following his mother through his childhood home.
His son beams at the sight of his father walking through the door, “Dad!” he yells, dropping his piece of fruit and jumping off his chair. He runs to Draco, wrapping his arms around his legs.
Draco chuckles, picking his son up, settling him on his waist, “Hey there squirt, did you have a nice night with granny and grandpa?”
Scorpius nods, still chewing his last piece of breakfast, “Yeah, me and granny baked, and she let me eat the mix!”
Narcissa lets out an overdramatic gasp, “That was our secret, Scorp!”
Scorpius laughs at his granny’s reaction, “I had to tell Dad!”
Draco tickles his son’s stomach; grinning at the laughter leaving his son’s mouth.
He had never known a world with his mother; and he never would, yet here he was as happy as any three year old could be.
“Are you joining us, Draco?” His father’s voice sounds; breaking Draco from his melancholy.
Draco clears his throat, letting Scorpius down so he can sit next to Narcissa at the table, “Yes, I think I will.”
Anything to not go back to the house so soon; anything to avoid seeing her in the corner of his eye or in the mirrors.
Narcissa nails him with a look she has made entirely her own after dealing with a supremacist order for over a decade.
Draco wavers under his mother’s stare; ready to drop the pretence and cry in her arms.
He doesn’t.
Instead, he grabs the bowl of strawberries and scoops a spoonful onto his plate before reaching for a waffle and grabbing his knife and fork.
“Lucius, darling, why don’t you show Scorpius your matchbox collection? I know he’d love them.”
“What are matched boxes?” Scorpius asks.
Narcissa laughs lightly at her grandson’s pronunciation, “Match boxes, sweetheart.”
Lucius stands from the table; knowing very well what the determined look in his wife’s eyes meant, “Come on, my boy. I’ll show you my collection; I want to see if you can count how many there are.”
Scorpius’ eyes light up at the chance to make his grandfather proud; he jumps down from the chair before reaching to grab Lucius’ hand. Together, they leave the dining room, Lucius prattling about the history of the match box and why they needed to be collected.
Narcissa waits until they’re out of earshot before turning on her son who on the outside, almost pulled off looking so put together. Inside, she knew, was a broken man desperate to find a way to lessen the pain.
“It’s been three years, darling.”
“I know,” Draco answers; resisting the urge to groan.
“How often are you visiting her?”
“Once a week now.”
There was a point in the first months after her death where Draco would visit the graveyard every day for hours. He didn’t even say anything; he just sat on the perfectly trimmed grass in front of her grave and sobbed for the life that had been lost and the future that had been robbed.
Narcissa nods, “That’s good, Draco.”
Draco nods; he had gotten better in the years since her passing but Narcissa would never understand what it feels like to lose a spouse a year into a marriage that should have lasted an eternity.
Narcissa sighs, “Do you think it’s time now?”
“Time for what?” He asks; voice hard.
“To think about finding somebody else? I’m not saying you need to do it right now, Draco, but it’s something to think about.”
Draco sees red, but he tries to keep a lid on his temper for the simple fact that it is his mother sitting in front of him, “I lost my wife, mother. She died giving birth to my son; your grandson. She died and now Scorpius doesn’t have a mother and I don’t have my wife standing beside me. I think I’ll take all the time I need to recover from this.”
Narcissa sighs, “Of course, Draco. You know I didn’t mean it as an insult.”
Draco rubs at his eyes; feeling wretched for the way he had spoken to his mother. She barely left his side after Astoria’s death; she had been the one to pull him away from her body.
“I’m sorry, mother. It was a tough night.”
“You’re having a lot of those, I’ve noticed.”
Draco’s lip begins to wobble, and he thanks Merlin that Scorpius is out of the room, so he didn’t have to watch his father fall to pieces.
Narcissa folds her son into her arms with the care only a mother could show. She strokes his hair as he sobs against her.
“I didn’t think it would be this hard,” Draco sobs.
“Neither did we, my love.”
-----
Draco feels better after talking to his mother. Lucius returned fairly quickly after Draco had dried his eyes; Scorpius following on his tail, chattering about what he planned to do when he returned home.
Draco opens his arms for his son who happily falls into them; preferring to be carried rather than walking unless he was running around the gardens or the park.
“Do you have everything you need?” Draco asks his son.
Scorpius nods as Lucius holds up the small overnight bag that holds his clothes, pyjamas and his priceless teddy, Wellesley. It was the first thing Astoria brought when she found out she was pregnant. Scorpius treasured it like nothing else.
Draco takes the bag from his father; well aware of the extra treats hidden there. Scorpius had Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy wrapped around his little finger.
After they apparate home, Lucius and Narcissa watch the spot in which their son and grandson disappeared. Hands clutching the other; both worried sick over their only son.
-----
He fills his week with his son; adventures, hide-and-seek, visits to the library. Draco makes sure Scorpius fills his day with activities designed to educate but to also have fun.
It’s also a way for Draco to keep his mind drifting to the one person who no matter how he often prays and wishes, will always remain absent.
The park is one of Scorpius’ favourite places to visit. He has a personal aim to swing as high as he can without giving his father a heart attack.
They spend their hours doing all sorts together, and every night before bed, Draco tucks Scorpius in tightly. Dropping a kiss to his son’s head and then his teddy’s head, Draco wishes Scorpius the sweetest of dreams.
On a night, Draco lets the memories of his short marriage consume him. He doesn’t wear his wedding ring on his finger anymore, but rather, attached to a chain he wears around his neck. He twists this chain for hours on a night thinking of the mother that Astoria never got the chance to be.
------
Draco’s visit to the graveyard is shorter this week on account of what happened last time. He knew what happened in the living room was down to the fact that he had spent too much time at her grave, lamenting how much he missed her.
It was expected that she would answer his calls.
So he resolves to make this visit shorter; long enough to clean the area and replace the flowers but short enough to not tempt fate and spectres.
Draco recounts to her tales of Scorpius’ week. Draco laughs and beams like a proud father when he tells the story of Scorpius adopting the family of Nifflers from their copse at the bottom of the garden. He had been so proud of himself; walking all the way back to the house with a four Nifflers in tow who had deemed Scorpius as one their own.
“You’d have thought he was a Scamander,” Draco laughs, patting the loose grass from his suit pants. “I think he could very well excel at Care of Magical Creatures but it’s too soon to tell, my dear.”
Eventually, Draco stands, wiping down his black suit trousers and whispering a goodbye.
Draco is a few steps away from the black, creaky gate when you bustle through; bouquet in hand, sad smile on your face.
You pause in the gateway when you see Draco standing before you.
“(Y/N),” Draco greets, “I was hoping to catch you. I wanted to apologise for how I spoke to you the last time I saw you.”
“Draco, there’s nothing to apologise for. You’re mourning your wife; the last thing you need is someone invading that space.”
“All the same, I’m sorry for how I spoke to you.”
“I accept your apology, Draco.”
“Would you like to join me for a coffee? It’s been years since I saw you last, and I think it would be nice to catch up.”
You glance between the flowers in your hand and Draco waiting patiently for an answer.
“It’s okay if you don’t. I understand if you want to be with your grandfather.”
You bite your lip, glancing back to the flowers, “Do you want to come with me? All I need to is say hello and change the flowers. You don’t have to, though.”
Draco shakes his head, “No, it’s okay. I’ve had my visit today, so I don’t mind waiting with you.”
You smile at him gratefully, “Thank you; he’s just this way.”
Draco follows you as you walk the well-trodden path to your grandfather’s grave. He doesn’t let himself think as he follows, and as a result, almost bumps into you when you stop in front of a grey granite headstone.
“Hi Grandad,” You greet, “I’ve brought someone with me today, I hope you don’t mind. I’m just changing your flowers though because then we’re going to get coffee.”
You turn your attention to Draco when you finish speaking, “It’s morbid I know but it helps me process. I know he isn’t hearing me, but I can vent here and somehow I always find a solution to my problem.”
Draco nods, “I do the same with Astoria. I tell her about Scorpius and her parents though I know they visit just as much.”
You smile at the blonde-haired man before discarding the dried out flowers to one side, replacing them with the fresher, brighter flowers.
Draco watches you through the process; not missing the way your eyes dart between the headstone and to something just past it.
For a brief moment, Draco wonders if you’re being haunted too.
-----
The coffee shop is warm compared to the brisk wind that howls outside. Draco’s body relaxes as he takes in the familiar scent of bitter coffee beans; it was a recent love of his, but now, he wouldn’t find himself going a day without a cup of the acrid liquid.
You unravel the scarf hanging around your neck before taking a seat at a corner table, “I didn’t think it would be this cold today. It makes me glad I overdressed,” you chuckle.
Draco laughs politely; his own coat now hanging on the back of his chair.
You smile, “Do you know what you want? I’ll go order.”
“Nonsense, I’ll order, I invited you here.”
“Well I won’t turn down free coffee, I’ll have a latte please.”
“I’ll be right back,” is all he says before leaving the table to order.
As the drinks are being made by the teenaged barista, Draco starts to second-guess his intentions for why he asked you for coffee in the first place. All week the conversation he had with his mother had been replaying in his mind, and then he runs into you as he’s leaving the graveyard. Before he knew it, the words were flying out of his mouth and he was unable to stop them.
He’s panicking, but he doesn’t find himself regretting asking you.
He’s only regretting his intentions as to why he asked you.
He’s been alone for three years. He has Scorpius, and his parents, but he doesn’t have anyone he can talk to on a night when the air is quiet, and the moon is high. He doesn’t have that one person that he can simply hold and know that everything will be okay.
Then and there, he lets himself admit it: he’s lonely.
Astoria had been everything for the eighteen months they had been together. He was utterly devoted to her; completely besotted by her. Draco knew that he had found the love of his life; he just didn’t expect her to be taken from him so soon.
But still he wonders.
He wonders if it’s time; he wonders whether Astoria watches him and urges him to find someone new.
To feel that rush of falling in love all over again.
The clinking of mugs rips Draco from his internal debating. He thanks the barista with a smile, picking up the tray of drinks and walking carefully back to where you wait for him.
You thank him as you pick up your latte, “You looked to be thinking pretty intensely over there.”
“You were watching me?”
Shrugging your shoulders, you say, “I got bored of the view of the café.”
Draco nods; sipping tentatively at his coffee, wincing before adding another sugar to taste.
“What were you thinking of? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I don’t mind. I was thinking of Astoria,” he admits.
You simply nod your head; understanding completely that a widow would think of his loss.
“How are you coping with her loss? It’s been a few years now, hasn’t it?”
“I could ask you the same question about your grandfather,” Draco murmurs, “We’re coping okay. Scorpius is thriving; he’s such a smart three year old and I know I’m biased but he retains information like a sponge.”
You laugh, “I was going to ask you about your son, I’m glad to hear he’s happy.”
“He doesn’t have any memories of his mother, but he knows who she is. He has a framed picture of her in his room that he says goodnight to every night.”
“He sounds precious, Draco.”
Draco nods; thinking of his dear boy, “He is. And I know she’s proud of him, I just feel it in my bones.”
“I’ll bet my last sickle that she’s proud of you too.”
Draco blinks fast; ridding the sudden tears away. “Thank you,” he whispers, taking another drink of his coffee to distract from the sudden wave of emotion.
He clears his throat once the wave has passed, “I asked you here to catch up; not for me to ruin the mood with my grief. How have you been? I haven’t seen you since the war.”
“You can talk to me about this, Draco, I don’t mind,” You state before continuing, “I’ve been well – I travelled a lot after the war. The whole realisation of life is short really hit me, so I left the country for a bit; travelled through Europe before jumping ship to America.”
Draco’s eyes widen, “That’s incredible. Where was your favourite place to travel?”
You glare at him playfully, “That’s such a hard question!”
He laughs lightly, “Still – you have to answer.”
You tap your fingers against your thigh, thinking his question over. You had loved everywhere you visited; feeling extremely fortunate to have met such a range of magical communities as well as integrate yourself within muggle society for a time.
“I think it would have to be this tiny island in Greece; it is said that in ancient times, the locals believed it was the end of the world, and if you went any further, you would fall off. I stayed there the longest; around a month where I explored the island, ate their food, and drank with the locals. It was the best time of my life.”
Draco inhales sharply at your words; not realised that he’s instinctively leaned towards you through your speech. He leans back into his chair, running a hand through his hair, “It sounds wonderful,” he whispers.
You nod; eyes glazed somewhat as you think back to your time on that heavenly island, “It really was.”
You shake yourself from your reminiscing, “What about you then, Draco? I know about the wedding, and your son, but what did you do after the war?”
Draco waves his hand in a nonchalant fashion, “Nothing as wonderful as travelling the globe though I did go to France on my honeymoon. I trained as a Healer straight from Hogwarts; I’ve been at St. Mungo’s since Scorpius was born.”
“That’s great, Draco! I always knew you would make a great Healer ever since I saw you in Potions.”
Draco ducks his head, “Thank you, I enjoy the work. Are you working now?”
You nod your head, “I work for the Daily Prophet; writing real articles and not the trollop that Rita Skeeter used to waffle on about.”
Draco barks out a laugh, surprising himself at the volume of it, “I remember her coverage of the Triwizard Tournament! It was so awful.”
You beam; eyes bright with joy, “Weren’t they? I promise I’m a much better writer… not to sound big-headed.”
“I completely believe you; I’ll have to start keeping an eye out for your articles. I haven’t read the paper in so long. I haven’t had the time if I’m honest – I get my news from my mother.”
“How are your parents? I heard about them after the war.”
“Mother coped so well. She made it her mission to entirely renovate the house, and with it, the Malfoy reputation. She donates to charities now; her focus is children orphaned during the war. Father struggled, but he’s found his purpose for life again in Scorpius. Last time I was there, he showed him his collection of matchboxes.”
You laugh lightly, “That’s brilliant. I’m glad to hear that they’re doing well.”
“How is your family? I remember your mother from Kings Cross, always running to meet you off the train.”
“She’s doing okay,” You sigh, “She struggled after my grandfather but she’s working her way back to herself.”
Draco nods in understanding; he felt nothing but pride and a sting of jealously for your mothers process with her grief. Here he was, three years later, and still reaching out to the other side of bed only to grasp at empty, cold sheets.
However, as all things must, your time together comes to an end. The coffees are drank; coats are pulled back on and goodbyes are said on the pavement.
Draco walks away from you; apparating back to his home feeling lighter than he has in years.
------
Draco takes Scorpius to Diagon Alley on a Wednesday morning.
His son had been particularly restless the night before; a nightmare waking him. Draco does what he can to chase the monsters away before scooping up his only son and carrying him to the master bedroom. Scorpius sleeps soundly after that, but Draco remains awake – mind plaguing him with memories of Astoria but also of the coffee he shared with you.
It’s noon when Scorpius begins to pester his father for lunch. In his own words; he’s starving, and he hasn’t eaten in hours.
Draco laughs at his son. Three years old, but utterly dramatic. He kneels down so he’s eye-level, “How about we have ice cream for lunch?”
Scorpius’ face lights up and he begins to jump in his spot, “Can we go now? Please?”
Draco nods, holding out his hand for Scorpius take so he doesn’t get lost in the short distance to Florean Fortescue’s. He had lost him once; and whilst it was only two minutes before he found him, it was two minutes, he never wants to relive.
Draco lifts Scorpius so he can see the rows of flavours behind the glass. Scorpius’ eyes are wide as he checks the colour of every flavour. He even goes so far to press his face to the glass, fogging it up. Draco chuckles at his son’s antics; knowing full well he’ll pick the same flavour he’s gotten on every visit.
“Have you decided?”
Scorpius nods, “Chocolate please.”
Draco places Scorpius on the ground, “One chocolate tub, and one caramel fudge swirl tub please.”
Florean nods at the young Malfoy family with a large smile; watching them sit down at a window table before bringing their ice creams to them.
Scorpius attacks his chocolate tub with ferocity. Draco touches his son’s hand, “Slow down, squirt. You’ll get stomach ache.”
Scorpius looks as if he doesn’t believe his father’s word but not wanting to risk the chance of a stomach ache, he slows his pace. Carefully scooping the frozen treat before eating. His legs swing as he watches the scores of witches and wizards passing; they all look to be hurrying somewhere yet Scorpius doesn’t know where, but seeing all the different people, keeps his attention squarely on the window.
Draco works his way through his ice cream faster than his son; his weakness being the caramel fudge swirl that Florean makes fresh every day. He settles for drifting once his tub is empty and Scorpius is happily distracted by whatever he’s watching out of the window.
Draco begins to wonder about his son’s future – something he’s done a thousand times since his birth. He wonders about what Hogwarts house would best fit his sons personality; though he knew that the Sorting Hat would be the final word on that. But Draco can’t help but ponder over what attributes his son will demonstrate – will he ambitious enough for Slytherin? Courageous enough for Gryffindor? Loyal enough for Hufflepuff? Creative enough for Ravenclaw?
He had eight more years to ponder over it, but it’s still a question he’d like answered. However, Draco would still adore his son no matter his house.
“Draco?” Your voice sounds, breaking him out of his deliberating.
“(Y/N),” He greets.
Scorpius turns from people-watching, taking in the visitor standing at their table.
“And you must be Scorpius, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m (Y/N).”
Scorpius shies away slightly from the new person, inching back a bit in his chair.
“It’s okay, Scorpius,” Draco reassures, “I went to school with (Y/N).”
You nod, “I did! I was in Slytherin with him, and he was so smart! He still is; he’s a Healer isn’t he? Isn’t that so cool?”
Draco blushes at your compliments but it brings Scorpius out of his shell.
“My dad is the coolest! He fixes people when they are very sick.”
You nod seriously, “Yes, he does. It was very nice to meet you, Scorpius but I have to get back to work with my ice cream.”
Scorpius smiles, his teeth on show, “Goodbye!”
“It was nice to see you, Draco,” You say, smiling at the blonde-haired man.
“It was nice to see you too, even if it was so brief.”
You laugh, “Work calls I’m afraid, but I always have an ice cream, so I wasn’t going to let work stop me,” You wander back to the counter where Florean waits with your cone, “I’ll also cover Draco’s bill too, Florean.”
“You don’t have to,” Draco begins to protest.
You hold your hand up, smiling gently, “You treated me to coffee. I’ll treat you to your ice cream.”
Draco nods, wordlessly. Scorpius watches him with his eyebrows furrowed.
You take a lick of your cone, “I’ll see you soon, Draco. Have a nice day, Scorpius!”
And like that, you leave the ice cream parlour, heading back to the office where a pile of work awaits.
Draco leans back in his chair, disbelief clear on his face.
“What’s wrong, dad?”
Draco shakes his head, “Nothing, squirt.”
Scorpius shrugs, determining it adult stuff. “I like the lady who spoke to us.”
“(Y/N)?”
Scorpius nods, “She was really nice.”
“She is. She was nice when we were at school together.”
“She’s a good friend.”
“She is,” Draco murmurs once again, mind in another place entirely.
Scorpius lets his father have his moment; turning back to the window, wondering if he might get to see the nice lady named (Y/N) again.
------
Two months pass, and January’s winter gives way to March’s spring.
The gardens at his home and at the Manor have started to bloom beautifully meaning that Draco is constantly surrounded by floral aromas that make his head spin and Scorpius sneeze.
Draco starts to see more and more of you at the graveyard. After each visit, you seem to wait for the other – always asking whether the other would like to go for a coffee; very rarely refusing the offer.
He enjoyed the time he spent with you; Draco felt like he got to make up for the lost time he was an arsehole at Hogwarts.
The more time he spent with you; the more he started to feel the urge to begin his life again. But the hauntings continue; he continues to see his wife in the mirror; hearing her voice on a night whispering to him that it’s okay to move on. But hearing those words from the mouth of the woman he promised an eternity with racks his entire body with guilt.
But it’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t want to stay away from you.
The more time you spend with Draco Malfoy; the more you can feel yourself fall for him – his smile, his eyes, his mind. You just hoped that the landing wasn’t going to be too rough.
------
Draco drops Scorpius off at the Manor before heading to the graveyard for his usual Saturday visit. He blindly hopes to see you again after running into you at the ice cream parlour and seldom seeing you after but refuses to let himself dwell too long on the hope.
He was visiting his dead wife, after all.
He still grieves for her; still reaches for her in the middle of the night, but there are times through the day where he doesn’t feel so weighed down by grief – where he feels as if he can begin functioning fully once again.
But then that brings the guilt.
And that leads to the sightings.
And then that leads to the visits.
It’s a vicious cycle, and he’s desperate to break it.
He knows logically that Astoria would always be a part of him; he sees her every time he lays eyes on Scorpius but the small voice in the back of his head tells him often that he isn’t ready to let go yet.
And all Draco is desperate to know is: when?
-----
You find him knelt before her grave. He’s silent; simply staring at her headstone, reading the words that are already seared into his mind: Beloved Daughter, Wife, and Mother.
You place your hand on his shoulder and he jumps at the sudden contact. He relaxes once he sees it’s you, “(Y/N),” he breathes out, “I thought you were someone else.”
“I can tell,” you murmur, “Are you okay?”
He nods silently; gazing at the headstone once again, “I will be.”
“I can stay with you, if you need me.”
He shakes his head, “Go. Go see your grandfather; tell him hi from me.”
You want to laugh but nothing comes out. Draco looks at you; his blue eyes bright, “I’ll be okay,” he says gently.
The softness of his voice has you stepping away, “You know where I’ll be if you need me.”
Draco nods, hearing you walk away from him.
He’s a man made entirely of conflictions. He watches you from the corner of his eye and wonders whether he is finally ready to start his life again after Astoria; ready press play once more and see what happens but the sheer fear that runs through him, paralyses him.
He doesn’t know what to think; he doesn’t know what to do.
All he knows is that in the handful of times he has seen you, you make him want to live again.
----
Your time with your grandfather comes to an end, and you stand from where you had knelt, murmuring a goodbye.
You can’t miss the way Draco remains in front of his wife’s grave. Standing just after you; stretching out the tight muscles in his back that had stiffened the longer he had sat there.
You sigh at the sight; mindlessly wondering if you would ever find a love that would impact you this much.
It was unintentional; it hadn’t meant to happen but the feelings you once harboured for the Slytherin Prince were returning in full force the more you saw of him.
But now, there was so much more to consider.
At Hogwarts, it was social groups that kept you from ever revealing your crush – that, and Pansy Parkinson. Now, though, Draco was a widower still very much in love with his dead wife, and he had a son that came first.
You know you need to tread carefully, but there was something addicting about the man’s presence. His way with words; his hand gestures; how he’d slip off into his own mind – it all had you caught; you were hook, line, and sinker.
You make your way back to the blonde-haired man, “What do you say to another coffee? I wish I could have stayed longer the last time I saw you, but work, you know?”
Draco nods; looking very much as if he wants to accept – the words being on the very tip of his tongue, but he sighs heavily, “I can’t today, I need to grab my son from my parents.”
“Oh,” You shake your head – of course, “Another time then! I’d like to see you again soon.”
You make to walk away but a hand reaches out and grabs your wrist, “Would you like to come with me? I need to grab Scorpius but we’re making dinner tonight and you’re welcome to join.”
“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to intrude.”
“You won’t be. Scorpius has been asking about you.”
That makes your decision for you, “Alright, I’ll join you for dinner.”
Draco smiles; letting go of his hold on your wrist, “I usually apparate to the manor, do you mind?”
You shake your head, placing a gentle hand on his outstretched arm.
Within a second, you’ve landed at the seat of Malfoy power for the last century. Draco was right you realise; Narcissa had lightened the manor up. Flowers border the main path; stemming from Hyacinths to white Lilies, to Irises. Colour lives up the home immediately, and the warm light coming from the masses of windows only makes the place more welcoming.
“I remember visiting here when I was a youngster,” You start, “I remember it being cold and uninviting… no offence, but now it feels so warm and happy.”
“That’s my mother’s influence,” Draco states; smiling wryly at the sight of all the flowers, knowing too well of the masses of Roses behind the manor.
Draco sounds the knocker three times before Narcissa pulls open the door with the smile reserved only for her son. She blinks twice before registering your presence; then she needs to do a double take.
“Afternoon, Mother,” Draco greets; leaning in to kiss her cheek which Narcissa returns distractedly – her eyes still on you.
“Draco, dear,” She greets, “And who have you brought with you?”
“Straight to the crux, aren’t we?” Draco laughs, “This is (Y/N). Surely you remember her?”
“Not Anthony’s granddaughter?”
You nod your head; ignoring the spear of grief flung through you at the sound of your grandfather’s name, “The very same,” you greet, “It’s lovely to be here. I was just mentioning to Draco how gorgeous your flowers are.”
Narcissa beams; her flowers are her pride and joy other than the son who had battled so much and came out the other side only stronger. “Thank you, my dear. Lucius and I were so saddened to hear of Anthony’s passing – tell me, how is your mother doing?”
“Better, thank you. She took his death as a blow – well, we all did but she took it the hardest being the only daughter and losing my grandmother so young.”
Narcissa nods; ushering you into the foyer of the grand manor, “We sent flowers, but we’re sorry we couldn’t make it to the service.”
A lumps forms in your throat at the mention of the service. It had been a beautiful and respectful service, but your memories of it were tied with the heart-clenching sobs of your mother as he cried about how she missed her father. It was a hard day and night for all; very few had dry eyes.
Draco notices your hesitancy at replying to his mother; notices the glazed look in your eye. He wraps his arm around Narcissa’s shoulder, distracting her from asking you any more questions, “How was Scorpius today?”
“Like always, an angel,” Narcissa coos, “Lucius has started to teach him French.”
“French? So early?” Draco asks; keeping a wary eye on you.
“Nonsense, my love. You were three when we started to teach you the basics.”
“You speak French?” You ask; mind now focused back onto the conversation. You shoot a grateful look to draco; he replies with a soft, kind smile.
Narcissa nods, “Most of our family does. Draco has spoken French fluently since he was nine years old.”
“Oui, maman,” Draco responds cheekily.
Narcissa playfully hit her son’s shoulder, “Hush you. Scorpius is with your father in the Library – shall we go grab him?”
Draco nods; desperate to see his son after hours apart, “Are you okay to follow?” he asks, throwing a glance to where you remain rooted.
You shake yourself free; banishing all thoughts of Draco and his speaking of one of the most romantic languages on the planet from your head.
You follow with a sheepish smile, “Definitely. Even I’ve heard tales of Lucius’ library.”
Narcissa chuckles, “He spends more time in there; researching and reading anything.”
“What does he research?” You ask; curiosity piqued.
“Anything – the pagan tribes of the celts at the moment. He’s focused on the history of Wiltshire at the moment; I’ve had stop him twice this week from apparating to Stonehenge and scaring the tourists.”
Draco pauses; falling into step with you as Narcissa opens the library doors, “My father needed something to do after the war; historical research turned out to be his niche.”
“It sounds like he’s having one hell of a time,” You comment; not kissing the grin that stretches across Draco’s face.
“Scorp, darling, your father is here!” Narcissa calls out after not having found her grandson where she had left him with his grandfather.
It’s hard to miss the footfalls of the toddler as he runs through the shelve stacks, crowing, “Dad! You’re back!”
Draco catches Scorpius in his arms, “Hey there, squirt. How was your day?”
“Fun. Grandpa taught me about the selts.”
“Celts, my boy,” Lucius says, appearing from behind one of the many shelves, “A hard C. Celts.”
Scorpius’ eyebrows furrows as he repeats the word again, “Celts.”
Lucius claps, “Excellent! We’ll make a historian of you yet.”
Scorpius beams at the pride rolling off Lucius in waves; he almost doesn’t notice you standing next to Draco.
“(Y/N)!”
“Hi Scorpius,” You greet.
“Why are you here?” He asks.
You laugh at his curiosity, “Your father invited me for tea, is that okay?”
The young boy nods, “We’re having pasta.”
You smile, “I like pasta.”
Scorpius nods again, and just like that, it’s settled.
Draco hitches Scorpius higher onto his hip, “He wasn’t much trouble?”
His question breaks his parents from staring at the exchange between you and Scorpius. Lucius smiles at Draco, “Scorpius is never any trouble.”
“Thank you for looking after him again.”
“It’s no bother to us. We love the boy,” Narcissa comments; blinking away what look to be like tears.
“We’ll see you soon, no doubt,” Draco says, “Say bye to granny and grandpa, squirt.”
Scorpius yells his goodbye with a large smile.
Draco holds his free arm out to you, and the three of you apparate to his home in the next village over.
Draco’s house is nowhere near the size of Malfoy Manor, but it is still large in comparison to the two bedroomed flat you rented in Diagon Alley.
It’s perfectly symmetrical you realise as Draco opens the garden gate. Two windows on either side of the pale green front door. Always a Slytherin, you think as you follow Draco up the main path. He readjusts Scorpius as he reaches for his key; putting Scorpius down as he opens the door.
Scorpius reaches for your hand, “I’ll show you the kitchen,” he states, leading you through the large foyer to a room just to the right.
The kitchen is the biggest one you’ve been in. The island being home to a breakfast bar where Scorpius tries to climb up to before you cave and place him on one of the stools.
Draco follows closely behind; opening the fridge to grab the ingredients for dinner.
You hop off a stool, “What can I do to help?”
Draco pauses, “You need to sit down, I said I was cooking.”
You roll your eyes, “I want to help, so what can I do?”
“Add the pasta to the pot when the water starts to boil. I’ve already salted the water.”
You nod, rolling the sleeves up on your blouse. Draco doesn’t miss the small tattoo on your left forearm, “When did you get that?” he asks as he starts to crush and chop some garlic.
You look down to the now familiar swirling patterns below the crook of your elbow, laughing, “I got it after our Eighth Year. I snuck out to a muggle artist and got it done; mum hit the roof.”
Draco laughs, moving on to slicing the tomatoes in two. You look down at the pot of water, happy to see it boiling. You add the pasta to the pot, stirring twice before stepping away from the pan.
You sit back down at the breakfast bar; ruffling Scorpius’ hair as you do so. The blonde-haired boy giggles, “Can I see your arm?”
You glance at Draco to check that he’s okay with Scorpius seeing your tattoo. Draco nods and you hold out your arm for Scorpius to gaze at your tattoo.
He reaches out a small finger, running it over the ink gently, “Did it hurt?”
You shake your head, “Not a bit.”
“Dad has a tattoo.”
You stiffen at his words; so does Draco.
The Dark Mark that mars Draco’s arm wasn’t spoken about when it was placed on his forearm, and it wasn’t spoken about now. It has been years since the Dark Lord was vanquished by Harry Potter yet his mark upon the house of Malfoy had definitely been left.
“It’s pale but I’ve seen it.”
Draco clears his throat, saying somewhat brokenly, “Dinner is almost ready. Go clean up, squirt.”
You help Scorpius down from the stool; grinning as he rushes away to the downstairs bathroom to wash his hands before dinner.
As soon as he’s left, you turn your attention back to Draco who’s stirring the pan of pasta quietly, “I’m sorry, Draco.”
“For what?” He asks incredulously.
“For showing him my tattoo. I didn’t think he would bring up yours.”
Draco shrugs, “It’s okay. I’ve learned to live with it, and like squirt said, it’s pretty faded now.”
You nod, “I’m glad. Where do you keep your plates? I’ll grab them for you.”
“Second cupboard on from the fridge. There’s a small plastic one for Scorpius there too.”
You grab the three plates, wandering back to where Draco is adding the pasta to the sauce simmering away in the pan. Scorpius rushes back into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table by the window.
“Show us your hands, squirt. Are they clean?”
Scorpius holds his hands up, waving them at his father. Draco squints, pretending to look over his son’s hands with extra care, “Very good. Are you ready to eat?”
“Yes!” Scorpius shouts, legs kicking under the table.
Draco laughs, “Well it’s a good thing it’s ready then!”
Draco takes over yours and Scorpius’ plates first before grabbing his and the cutlery. He cuts up Scorpius’ pasta before settling in his own seat and starting to eat.
“This is so tasty,” You compliment, “One of the best meals I’ve had.”
Scorpius nods rapidly, working through his own mouthful before saying, “Dad is the best cook! You should try his pancakes!”
“Thanks, squirt,” Draco replies, smiling at him.
“I’ll have to try those pancakes one day,” You murmur, casting a side glance at the blonde-haired man sat to your left.
“I think you will,” He replies, effectively knocking the breath out of you.
Of course, you would rekindle feelings for your teenage crush when he’s now a widow and a father. You wanted to roll your eyes, but instead, you focus your gaze back to your meal.
The dinner is soon over, and the plates are cleared away to the sink where they’ll be washed after dessert.
Dessert is a slice of chocolate cake and ice cream; a treat from Narcissa. Scorpius makes as much conversation as he can; telling his father and you about the day he had at his grandparents where he learnt about the mystical celts and Stonehenge. Soon, though, his eyes start to droop and his final spoonful of cake clatters to the plate.
Draco scoops up his son; cradling in his arms as he once did those years ago. Draco murmurs an apology to you as he carries his son from the kitchen to his room,  but you wave him away.
To help, you collect the plates and start running the hot water, adding dish soap as you go. You’re almost finished with the final plate when Draco returns from putting Scorpius to bed.
“You didn’t need to do that.”
You shrug, “I don’t mind – it makes me feel useful.”
“Alright. You washed, I’ll dry,” Draco bargains; grabbing the tea towel from the counter and picking up the first plate.
“Did he fall asleep okay?” You question.
Draco nods, “Out like a light, I had put his pyjamas on for him.”
You chuckle, “Bless him.”
“He really likes you,” Draco comments.
“Well, what’s not to like?” You quip, grinning, “I really like him too. He’s a credit to you, Draco.”
Draco finishes drying the final plate; putting them back in their assigned cupboard.
“Thank you. Would you like a drink, or do you need to be at work early?”
“I do, but I’d like that drink.”
Draco pulls two glasses from the display before reaching for a bottle of red wine. You already knew that you would wake up tomorrow with a headache, but it was worth it to spend more time with him.
Draco pours two glasses before handing one to you. He grabs the bottle and his glass, leading you to the living room across the foyer.
You take a seat on the maroon couch, taking a drink of wine before placing the glass on a coaster.
“Thank you for the meal. It was delicious. Where did you learn to cook like that?”
“That is all part of Narcissa Malfoy’s rearing of a good husband. She started teaching me to cook before I left for Hogwarts and would give me lessons every school holiday.”
“Well, you’re very good. I’ll be thinking of that pasta for days.”
Draco smiles at you from over the rim of his wine glass and your stomach flips.
“Why did you tell your mother that it was just dinner?” You question, referring to the incident earlier at Malfoy Manor. You take another sip of wine, watching Draco the whole time.
“Mother has it in her mind that it’s time for me to find someone new. She worries that I’ve been alone too long,” Draco drawls wryly.
“What do you think?”
Draco swishes the remaining wine in his glass; reaching for the bottle to refill.
“I don’t know,” is his answer as he tops off your glass too.
“Are you lonely?”
“You really are a journalist, aren’t you?” He teases.
You roll your eyes, smiling, “Are you though? Lonely?”
Draco locks eyes with you; the answer is on the tip of his tongue, ready to make its entrance but he’s interrupted by the cry of his son.
Wine glasses are placed hurriedly as you both rush to the young boy’s room; his cries getting louder.
The both of you fall into the room in a hurry; desperate to help Scorpius. Draco shakes his shoulders, bringing him back to reality.
“Scorpius, Scorpius – it’s okay, open your eyes.”
“Dad?” Scorpius asks; his voice a sob.
“It’s me, squirt. I’m here.”
Scorpius opens his arms for his father. Draco picks him up with no hesitation; cuddling his son to his side – drying his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.
“It sounded like a bad one,” Draco comments.
Scorpius nods, “I don’t want to go back to sleep, I’m scared.”
Draco looks torn in two. On the one hand, Scorpius needs to sleep otherwise he’ll be as cranky as a Hungarian Horntail tomorrow. However, on the other hand, Draco won’t force Scorpius back into another nightmare by insisting he sleep.”
You step forward, perching on the end of Scorpius’ bed, “I have an idea, but you need to be all comfortable and cosy, okay?”
Scorpius nods timidly; rearranging himself against Draco’s side, cuddling his beloved teddy tighter.
“Are you cosy?”
He nods once more.
“Okay, I’ll begin: Once upon a time in a far off land there lived a king who was very lonely. He had tried for years and years to meet the love of his life, but he felt defeated for he hadn’t found the one…”
It takes over an hour – three stories and two muggle songs before Scorpius is soundly sleeping once again.
Draco shifts him with the expertise of a parent before leaving his bedroom with you in tow.
He goes to close the door, but you place a hand on his wrist, stopping him. “Leave it open two,” you start, “the light from the landing will comfort him a little if he has another nightmare.”
Draco leaves the door open a crack. Turning to you, he says, “I don’t know why I never thought of that.”
You shrug, “It’s something my mum used to do for me.”
“You were incredible in there by the way,” Draco compliments as you descend the stairs together.
“Thank you,” You murmur shyly.
“Where did you learn those stories and songs?” He asks, “I feel like I should take notes for next time,” he chuckles half-heartedly.
You laugh too, “The stories I made up years ago and the songs are muggle ones I heard on my travels. I used to babysit my younger cousins for extra pocket money – I got to be creative very quickly.”
“Well it paid off,” Draco comments, eyes flickering to the stairs.
“It certainly did,” You murmur; eyes following Draco’s.
It’s silent for a few moments; the both of you thinking of the other without the other knowing. You, terrified to tell him for the fear of rejection. Him, terrified about letting down his dead wife.
You both go to speak at the same time and promptly burst into quiet laughter.
Through the span of the conversation, you’ve gravitated towards Draco – bodies angled towards each other, hands close to touching, heads close together.
If you leaned forward an inch, your mouth would be on his.
The alcohol coursing through your veins makes the connection for you as in the next second, you’ve leant forward and attached your lips to Draco’s.
He doesn’t respond at first; too in shock by your boldness but when you’re about to pull away, he wraps a hand in your hair, keeping your mouth pressed to his. Lips glide together seamlessly. He bites down on your lower lip, making you gasp. He deepens the kiss then; shifting on the couch to press you further into it.
Your hand make their way into his hair, and Draco groans against your mouth at the feel.
But it’s all too much and you need to pull away.
Chest heaving, you drag your mouth away from Draco’s. He nuzzles his nose into your cheek, pressing little kisses across your jawline to your ear before sitting back up.
“I didn’t expect that,” You gasp.
“Neither did I, but I’m not mad about it.”
“You aren’t? I did just jump you.”
Draco laughs, “It would have happened sooner or later.”
“Really?” You ask; a note of happiness unmistakable in your voice.
Draco nods, running his thumb across your lips, relishing in the fact that they’re swollen because of him.
The wine has gone to your head, and you feel your eyes begin to droop before the first yawn hits. You sigh, pulling away from Draco’s distracting touch, “I think I better head off.”
“Are you sure? You don’t have to leave.”
“Why, do you want me to stay, Draco?” You tease.
He nods, “I can’t offer much, but this couch is really comfy.”
“And where will you be sleeping?” You ask; the wine making you more brash.
Draco blushes. You take back your words, “I’m sorry, Draco. Red wine goes straight to my head.”
“Don’t be, it’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t. I just propositioned you and all we’ve done is kiss,” You groan, dropping your head into your hands.
Draco pulls your hands away from your face, “(Y/N), it’s fine, really. The blanket on the back of the couch is really warm; grab it will you?”
You feel your face heat as you reach for the large grey blanket draped over the back of the couch. Draco stands momentarily to toe off his shoes before settling back down on the couch. You slip off your own shoes before clambering onto the couch next to him.
This was all so intimate.
Draco throws the large blanket over you both. Once suitably covered, his arm slips around your waist and your hand rests on his chest.
Neither of you say anything. No words need to be spoken now; everything expressed through actions alone.
With a kiss to the top of your head, Draco falls asleep unafraid of what he’ll meet in the morning.
--------
It’s the sunlight that wakes you. Bright light warming your face; you flutter your eyes open to find you face to face with Draco’s chest. Neither of you had moved in night; if anything, becoming closer together. At some point, his legs had tangled with yours and your hand had gripped his shirt so tight, it came away wrinkled when you loosened your grip.
You sigh happily; then you glance at the clock on the mantle piece where the hands make it abundantly clear that you were going to be late for work.
Extracting yourself carefully from Draco’s hold, you pick up your shoes from the floor. You search quickly for a spare piece of paper and a pen; scrawling a note for Draco to read when he wakes.
With one last look at the man you had fallen for in such a short amount of time, you apparated away.
-----
Draco wakes not long after you leave; feeling oddly light without the weight of your body pressed up against him. He frowns when he realises that you’ve left without a goodbye but with a glance at the clock, he doesn’t have much time to worry about it.
Scorpius would be awake any minute and demanding breakfast.
Draco sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. It had been so long since he had slept with someone by his side; wrapped around him the way you were, and he was happy to admit, he had missed the feeling of another human pressed so tightly against him, he could feel every contour in their body.
He almost falls off the couch when he notices your note lying on the table. He grabs it with shaking hands:
“Had to go to work – meet me for lunch if you can? Thank you for last night. You still owe me pancakes – (Y/N).”
He feels like a teenager again experiencing the rush of his first crush. He runs a hand across his face; standing up to get a start on breakfast. He folds your note in two before sliding it into his wallet for safekeeping.
It’s then that Draco realises he has two things he needs to do.
-----
Draco drops Scorpius off at Astoria’s parents for the morning. Apologising to his son for bailing on their plans of the park and the library; Scorpius simply pats his father’s face in goodbye before running to his grandma and grandad Greengrass.
Draco waves at his in-laws before apparating to see their daughter.
-----
The graveyard looks entirely different, but Draco knows nothing has changed. What has changed is him, and he need to tell Astoria.
Kneeling in his usual place in front of her grave, Draco releases a shaky breath.
“Hi darling, I know I’m early for our visit, but I have something important to discuss with you,” He looks down at his hands before continuing, “I think I’ve met someone, and I really want to pursue it. I want to see where it goes.
“You have to understand, darling, I never thought I would love again after you. I really didn’t and for three years, I’ve been an island with just enough room for Scorpius. I didn’t expect it, but it happened, and I like the way (Y/N) makes me feel. I feel excited again; my hands are shaking from the very thought.
“Scorpius likes her by the way, and she likes him, but they both know they won’t ever fill the role that you were supposed to. And I think they’re both happy with that knowledge.
“I’m not asking for your permission, but I am asking for your forgiveness. For not loving you harder; for not taking more time to be with you; for not apologising immediately after every argument. But I’m ready to start living again and I’ve found someone that makes me want to live again; that incites that spark of life within me, and I desperately want to see where it goes.  
“I haven’t seen you in a while; around the house. I think you realised what was happening before I did and finally made your peace with it. I can’t ever forget you and our time. I see whenever I look at our little boy, but I’m ready to begin again, and so I shall.”
Draco stands from the grave feeling as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had to speak to Astoria before he could speak to you; he had tell her his choice but to reassure that he would always love her, but his heart was ready to make room for another person.
And that person was you.
With one last glance at the marble headstone, Draco apparates to Diagon Alley.
----------
The offices to the Daily Prophet newspaper lie in a side street just off the high street. He signs in at reception but asks the receptionist not to alert you of his presence. The receptionist flushes when she realises that she’s now part of a romantic plot. Draco smiles at her gratefully as he makes his way to the main lift, asking for your floor.
He taps his foot the entire ride up to your floor, annoying every single person in the lift with him. But he can’t help it; he’s both excited and nervous.
In a few moments, he’s changing the direction of his life forever, and he couldn’t feel more ready to start.
The door opens on your floor and Draco rushes out, followed by the happy sighs of those journeying to higher floors. He wants to laugh at their reactions, but the butterflies rioting in his stomach make him feel as if he could vomit right on the muddy brown carpet.
It’s not hard to find which desk is yours by the amount of trinkets on there. Files are precariously high in one section, and then the rest of the desk bar the cream typewriter is covered by snow globes and tiny figurines of landmarks from your travels. From this first look at your desk, Draco already has a sense of what your flat will look like.
You gasp when you see Draco standing in the door to your office, “Draco, you’re early for lunch.”
Draco walks up to your desk; his hands shaking through it all, “Let me make you pancakes.”
“What?” You ask, breathless.
“Let me make you pancakes,” He repeats, “I want to make you pancakes in the morning.”
“Really?” You sniffle; tears collecting.
Draco nods, “I’m still grieving, but I always will be. However, that doesn’t mean my life needs to come to an end and I realised that I want it to continue with you by my side so… let me make you pancakes every morning.”
Tears have started to fall down your face and you sniffle before speaking, “Okay. You can make me pancakes.”
Draco beams; eyes crinkling. He leans in close to you, whispering, “Do you think you can get off early?”
You grab your bag before he finishes his sentence, “Let’s get out of here.”
Draco holds his hand out for you to take. At the feel of your skin against his, a jolt of electricity runs between you. It takes everything in him not to drag you into a kiss in the foyer of the building.
He waits until he’s in the street.
Like a gentleman.
He waits until the coast is somewhat clear before pulling you into his side and drawing your mouth to his like you did last night. Your arms wrap around his neck, bringing him closer to you.
It’s not your first kiss, and it won’t be your last, but this one kiss means the world to the both of you.
Through it all, you’ve learnt to swim.
-------
A year later:
Scorpius is almost five years old when he visits his mother’s grave for the first time in his life. He had been less than three weeks old when she was buried in the Greengrass plot
Scorpius watches as his father kneels before her first; apologising for his absence and asking for her forgiveness.
But then he looks to Scorpius; where he stands with his hand holding onto yours tightly.
Draco beckons to Scorpius with an open hand. Scorpius staggers to his father’s side immediately.
“Hi Mum,” he whispers.
Draco’s hand is firm on his son’s shoulders; a comforting presence.
“I miss you,” he starts, “I know I never got to know you, but I miss you. I have your picture in my room, so I know what you look like, and Wellesley. I’m starting school soon; a small magic school with kids like me and I’m really excited. Dad’s doing well. He was sad for a while but he’s happier now and he talks about you more with (Y/N) who I like too. I want to come back, and I think Dad will let me, so I’ll see you soon, Mum.”
And with that, Scorpius walks away, happy to have finally met the mother had wanted to meet for so long.
Draco watches his son potter back to the still creaky gate in awe. You join his side; fingers tangling in his. “How are you feeling?” You ask, watching Draco’s face.
“Happy and in love,” is Draco’s reply.
*****
Muggle songs:
Johnny Ace - Pledging My Love
Paul Anka - Put Your Head On My Shoulder
General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrypotter289 @dreamer821 @kalimagik @heloisedaphnebrightmore @nebulablakemurphy @the-hufflefluffwriter @figlia--della--luna @bforbroadway @idont-knowrn @summer-writes @big-galaxy-chaos @black-lake-confessions @annasofiaearlobe @imboredandneedalife​ @levylovegood​ @mytreec​ @haphazardhufflepuff​ @teheharrypotter​ @chaoticgirl04​
Draco Malfoy taglist @the--queen-of-hell @obxmxybxnk @obx-beach @sycathorn-slush @dracomalfoyswifey
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hunflowers · 4 years ago
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Golden
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Word Count: 15.3k
Requested? I don’t remember, but you always can here :)
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A/N: Lord, have mercy SHE’S FINALLY HERE!!!!! My baby Golden is finally out to the public and can I just say how fucking relieved I am to post it. I love her, I hope you do too <3 little warning: there are mentions of panic attacks in here, and a heart condition (that i did my best to research on) so if you’re uncomfortable, pls don’t read. 
special thanks to my soul baby @stylesloveclub​ for being my biggest support system with this, she’s dedicated to you <3
for anyone reading this, please reblog! it really helps us writers out. okay onward friends!!! lemme know how i did and if you like it *nose boops*
Water. The ocean. Waves. The tide.
Symbolic of life, birth. Can be used to wash away even the most troubling of sins.
O’ahu, Hawaii, home to some of the best surfing destinations in the state, in the country, in the world. Also home to one of the best surfers in the state, in the country, in the world. 
Y/N didn’t coin herself that. Not that she’s complaining about it, but she doesn’t surf for the title. She surfs for the freedom. She feels the most alive when her toes dig into the sand as she runs towards the warm, salt oblivion, her novelty yellow and blue surfboard tucked under her arm.
Her whole life she had been surrounded by water. When she was a baby, she always wanted a bath. When she was a toddler, she always wanted to stay in the kiddie pool. And then she got into surfing, and well, the rest is history so-to-speak. Her parents never got themselves involved in the sport professionally but more as a recreational activity. And it was even how they met, so really there was no stopping surfing from flowing through Y/N’s blood.
Her backyard was the ocean, so growing up, it was really the only thing for her to do. It’s what all the kids were doing, and Y/N was no different. She met her best friends on the beach when they were five years old, practicing the basics of surfing, like getting up on the board and finding their balance with the Earth.
Kalani and AJ, two of the best surfers Y/N will ever meet, and two of the purest souls to ever grace her life. They’re madly in love with one another. Have been for as long as they’ve been friends -- so coming up on sixteen years. Y/N is in awe of their relationship, she really is, but being a third-wheel isn’t exactly something she signed up for. Though, she kind of expected it when growing up.
They tried countless times to set her up with someone, but time and time again their matchmaking skills have failed, and Y/N is tired of them pitying her. No, she may not be in a long term relationship, but she hardly has time for a relationship anyway. Especially with competitions coming up, she needs to keep herself focused on surfing rather than some boy who will probably end up breaking her heart.
Well, that was her intention anyway.
October 27th, the first day of the best months out of the year.
And it started just the same as every other year. Y/N woke up at the crack of dawn and threw on her lucky white bathing suit before throwing an apple down her throat. Her surfboard was perched up against the back patio railing, and she swiftly tucked it under her arm as she made her way down the shore, being greeted by the luminescent sun that was swarming the sea in a shade of tangerine and lemon.
Jogging knee deep into water, Y/N sunk her hand just below the surface, swaying it back and forth, taking a deep breath as she felt the cool texture swarm her body. Exhaling slowly, she threw herself down onto her board, paddling onward into the great unknown. The familiar sound of the crashing waves causing her to flinch for a brief moment before comforting her ears as she watches the restless ocean ahead of her, a smile washing over her face as she could basically see her future ahead of her.
Today marks qualifying day, and obviously if she marks as qualified, she moves forward to the Vans Triple Crown. She’s been training all year, her body practically a prune with how much she’s been in the water. But, a minute can’t go to waste, so up until the very last second where she has to head to the north shore, she’s gonna remain in the water and build her intuition with how the day is going to go.
Last year, Y/N had to cut her time short when she was hospitalized the night before the first competition. So, she was all more determined to win the championship that is rightfully hers. Well, in the women’s division at least. Last year was ripped from her right when it was under her nose and she refuses to have a repeat of it. 
After her hospitalization, everyone was convinced she’d never return to the water. Despite the ocean being her second home, everyone figured she would turn away -- avoid the embarrassment last year brought upon her. But, it only made her stronger and more determined to prove everyone wrong. No matter how frightening it really was.
Her first wave of the day had her coasting along smoothly, starting her out easy as waves progressively got bigger with the tide. When she got out into the water, the sun had just broken past the horizon line, yet by the time she left, the sun was nearly at its peak in the sky. Her skin felt raw, yet her body was running on adrenaline as she scoffed down the lunch her mom had made her before they banded into the family van and headed to Sunset Beach on the north shore.
Y/N’s heart raced in her chest, her leg bouncing subconsciously but furiously as she watched the landscape pass her by through the window. Her typically calming music wasn’t even working as she ran through multiple scenarios in her mind of what could go wrong today and how her day, her week, month, even year could be ruined.
Once outside of the van and on the beach, her parents pulled her close into a tight, warm hug, whispering words of encouragement in her ears, knowing just how important this was for her. Surfing and competitions had always been important to Y/N, but following last year’s downfall, this day was going to make or break whatever is left of her both physically and emotionally.
“Y/N!” she heard her name being called from the distance, the three of them immediately letting go of one another as they exchanged sheepish smiles.
“Y/N!” Was called out again, causing her to turn around and see Kalani running straight for the three of them, waving her arms in a drastic manner to gain her best friend’s attention. “Oh my -- I ran so fast, wow, I need to calm down,” Kalani breathed out, closing Y/N into a firm embrace.
“Save your energy for the waves, babe,” Y/N laughed, wrapping her own arms around Kalani’s frame. The two of them were never inseparable, it was kind of like they were actually glued to the hip together ever since they were children. And a lot of people were surprised they remained best friends through the years, what with both of them always competing in the same surfing competitions battling for the first place spot. And they knew this could be a strain on their relationship, but they decided ever since they were seven years old that they weren’t going to let surfing get between them. No matter what, they were always proud of each other for everything they’ve accomplished and are each other’s number one fans.
Thing is, Y/N tends to snag that first place spot a lot of the time, and Kalani always just misses her, earning her the second spot, right beneath her. But, Kalani has grown to accept that Y/N is better at the sport, and that’s nothing for her to be ashamed of. She’s managed to get a few of her own first place wins, and in her eyes, that’s good enough. She can’t live her life being jealous of her best friend because that’s not healthy, and anyway, surfing is much more Y/N’s livelihood than it is her own, so she’s fine with being second best -- despite what others may think.
Tugging her board off the top of the car, Y/N tucked it beneath her arm as she walked hand-in-hand with Kalani to wherever her family had set up camp on the beach. “Where’s AJ?” Y/N wondered, as she looked out into the water and saw no one out in it.
“The boys are starting soon, so he’s with Nav,” Kalani said, finally stopping in front of her parents and younger brother, and AJ’s older brother.
“Y/N!” They greeted, getting up from their chairs to kiss the girl on the cheek before greeting her parents. “It’s so great to see you back here,” Kalani’s mom smiled, pinching Y/N’s cheek before plopping herself back down under the sun.
They all began to catch up with one another since it’s been awhile they’ve all gotten together, all of them falling into old habits as if it hadn’t been months since they were last together. Y/N tried to engage in as much conversation as possible, but her mind tended to wander off as the guys started lining up in the water and making their way out. Her throat dried up and her palms were sweating -- and not from the heat -- as her nerves kicked in. Her memory began to cloud her vision as she stood abruptly and quickly walked away from the group, her heart picking up again.
Her breaths shortened as her mind blurred, and all she wanted was to curl up on her bed and calm her mind. She felt someone’s hand on her back, and immediately she could tell it was her father by the smell of his cologne. Once she was far enough from people, Y/N could feel tears well in her eyes as short images flashed across her eyes, cutting each inhale of breath in half -- which caused her to panic even more as she couldn’t breathe properly.
Last year ruined her, and she absolutely despises that this is considered her normal day-to-day routine now, her body shaking with fear as she feels herself collapsing from the inside, out. “Y/N, honey, can you hear me?” She thinks she hears her father say, but is undetermined with the intense white noise that’s swarming her ear drums.
“Count with me, c’mon, backwards from ten.”
But, all her mind could focus on was her body sinking lower and lower beneath the surface of water.
“Ten… Gotta count, c’mon you can do it, nine.”
“Eight,” she murmured, reaching out to grasp her dad’s shirt tight in her fist, just to make sure that he was really in front of her. She needs to be reminded that last year is her past, and that no matter how forward it is in her mind, it’s not her present anymore and she’s not drowning. “Seven.”
He took her hands and held them to his chest, “Six, keep going.”
“Fi-” she gulps, swallowing the lump in her throat, “..five.”
She makes it all the way down to zero, her body visibly relaxing and mentally as she hesitantly looks around to see no one watching the little event. “Do you want to go home?”
Y/N looks up to her father, shaking her head in response as she sniffles her nose and brushes away the one stray tear that has cascaded down her cheek. “No… I can do this.”
He cocks his head to the side and purses his lips, slowly nodding his head. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he turns them back in the direction, walking with her slowly as she continues to gather herself. “You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, Y/N. Everyone knows you’re an amazing surfer.”
“I think I just need to prove it to myself,” she stated, dragging her feet through the sand like a child so it slowed their arrival time back with the group. She can only imagine that her mom had informed everyone already of what was happening, and the last thing she wants is their sorry eyes and pathetic spouts of pity that she knows she’ll wish they just kept to themselves.
Y/N knows she’s broken. She’s not the same girl everyone knew this time last year, but she doesn’t need to be reminded of it every time she steps into a room. What happened last year was serious and she understands that people are worried; But all she wants is for everyone to forget about it. Including herself. She thinks the thing that’s causing her the most trepidation now -- rather than in the morning or all year long -- is the fact she’s now back in front of a crowd again, eyes trained on her like hawks watching prey, waiting for something awful to happen again.
The only thing missing is the popcorn as they watch this free entertainment.
When they finally came back to everyone, Y/N noticed the guys had started paddling out. Everyone was talking amongst themselves, dismissing her presence as she sat herself down back in the sand, and a breath of relief escaped her lips. The tension was there, but everyone ignored it for her sake, and Y/N couldn’t be more grateful.
“Go, AJ!” Kalani cheered, pumping her fist and shouting a few hoots and hollers afterward. Dom, AJ’s brother, let out a few ear screeching whistles, the kind with the fingers in the mouth, joining in on rooting for his brother. 
Watching the guys out there solidified to Y/N how real this really is, and soon her veins were pumping with excitement again instead of dread as she cheered on her best friend. He was going to qualify, they all were and they knew that, but it's always fun to get excited about the possibility of moving forward and winning the titles and earning the trophies.
All the other faces that surfed alongside AJ were mostly familiar, their names ringing bells as the announcers spoke of them, but there was one that Y/N hadn’t ever heard before. It’s the same cycle of people every year, yet this guy was fresh. And the only reason she’s curious as to who he is, is because he’s good. Like, really good.
Kalani can’t exactly remember if she’s heard of him either, shrugging to Y/N’s wonderment, “I don’t know. Maybe AJ knows.” His pink surfboard and pink wet shirt stuck out as he was a sight for sore eyes, and Y/N grew a little resentment towards him as he pulled out a few advanced maneuvers, gaining everyone’s undivided attention that used to be on AJ.
“Who is that?” Y/N’s mother questioned, looking around to see that no one knew the answer. 
He was a mystery yet he radiated this vibrant energy as the guys finished their rounds, walking off with grace in his step as he laughed at something Nav -- one of the three’s friends -- had said. The girls bid their goodbyes to their families as they headed over to where the guys were before their rounds. AJ immediately came running over to them, hugging Y/N and Kalani simultaneously before giving his girlfriend a quick kiss on the lips. “You did great,” Kalani smiled, keeping her arms wrapped around his center.
“Alright, not in front of me,” Y/N grimaced, looking away from them. Immediately her eyes landed on the new surfer, still talking to Nav, and she was quick to turn back to AJ to ask who he is. “Hey, who’s the new guy?”
Looking over his shoulder, AJ saw who she was talking about before realization dawned on him. “Oh, that’s Harry. He’s from England. A really nice guy, I bet you’d like him,” he winked, causing Y/N to look at him with squinted eyes and pursed lips.
Kalani nudged his side, giving him a weird look. “What? I’m just saying.”
Then, speak of the Devil, Nav and this Harry guy came walking over, joining the three as they stood around waiting for the announcement that the girls could head out. Y/N wasn’t exactly paying attention to her surroundings as she continued to calm herself down for the impending near future. It wasn’t until Harry had stood in front of her, that she was knocked out of her own thoughts.
She looked up at him, making eye contact and briefly getting her breath caught in her throat. When he was far away, it was hard to make out his facial features or what he exactly looked like. But being right in front of him, she was merely astonished at his beauty, but more so his green eyes that reflected the perfect amount of sunlight. His wet, brunette hair rested against his forehead and seemed to be drying a bit curly.
His head tilted slightly, an amused smirk inching up his face as he watched her reaction. Something tells her he’s used to this kind of reaction. “M’Harry.”
His hand came between the two of them, waiting for her to grasp it in a firm grip. Y/N was hesitant at first but finally took his hand and shook it gently while greeting herself before dropping her hand back down to her side. “Y/N.”
This is insanely awkward. Especially because her friends are just watching the exchange silently, as if they weren’t allowed to speak while the two introduced themselves.
Harry has heard of Y/N. It’s hard for anyone involved in the surfing business to not have heard of her. Aside from the jarring news from last year, she’s an excellent surfer and her name is always spreading around like wildfire. She’s part of the reason Harry decided to delve more into the professional surfing world, because he’s been itching to meet her.
Y/N is attractive, anyone with eyes knows that, but Harry wanted to meet her only because of her expansive skills in the water. Standing in front of her, he can’t deny her undying beauty -- and if he weren’t such a gentleman he’d probably be trying to woo her this very instant. But, her looks aren’t what draws him to her, and he decides to not think with his dick for once.
Before he gets the chance to say something else to her, they get notified that the girls should start heading out for their rounds. Y/N and Kalani grab their boards and tuck them under their arms before bidding their goodbyes to the boys and scurrying off to join the rest of the girls.
“Whipped already?” Nav jokes, wrapping his arm around Harry’s shoulders and leading them to the sand where they’ll watch.
Y/N steps her toes into the water, basking in the cool feeling wrapping around her toes and surging up her body. She rolls her neck feeling it crack softly before rolling her shoulders back and taking in her umpteenth deep breath of the day. Her and Kalani looked at each other, nodding with smiles on their faces before they walked deeper in the shallow water until it reached the middle of their thighs before dropping their boards down and paddling out.
At the sight of a small wave heading toward her, Y/N dipped herself beneath the water just to wet her hair. It felt refreshing again to feel the salt coax her skin for the second time that day, as if it never left. When she greeted the air again, she could immediately feel the rays of the sun bouncing off of her skin, illuminating her in a heavenly glow, like the star she is. The spotlight is on her as she aims herself for the peak of the impending wave, nabbing the first ride of the girls’ round.
Back on the beach, her mom’s fingers were crossed, her dad’s breath was caught in his lungs, and Harry’s eyes were fixated on her figure as she jumped up on the belly of her board. Her legs kept her balance against the rough matter below her. Due to the steep wall of the wave, Y/N had to act quick and rational in order to keep control, and started off with an off-the-lip, which kept her parallel with the wave before she moved herself down and carved herself back into the energy zone. 
Because it was a smaller wave, she could only go on for so long before she tipped herself off the board and fell down into the water. Everyone waited with bated breaths and kept their eyes on the area she sunk beneath the blue, before sighing in relief to see her head pop back up. Harry could see the joy wipe over everyone’s faces, replacing the worry that was once there as they hugged one another. He could tell Y/N has such a good support system, and it only urges him more to want to be a part of her life.
Of this life.
❊ ❊
“You guys did so good! We’re so proud,” Y/N’s mom gushed as she pulled her into a warm embrace -- a hug that holds more meaning than just being proud. Her mom was relieved. Grateful. Happy. She’s able to hold her daughter one more time, and that’s all she could ask for. “It’s going to be a good year for all you kids.”
Y/N felt like she was on cloud nine. She was elated, overjoyed, ecstatic, riding such a good high. Her comeback couldn’t have gone any better and she’s just so, so happy. Arriving at the beach she was nervous and anxious and was two seconds away from caving to her fears and running away. Now, as she walks arm-in-arm with her best friend away from the water for the night, she’s laughing a genuine laugh and her veins are currently pumping excitement rather than nerves. 
AJ locked his arm over her shoulders, the three of them linked just like they always are as they head towards Y/N’s family van. But, instead of like other times, this time they have a tag-a-long trailing behind them. It’s sort of like a tradition where after every competition, all of the families join together and head to dinner at their usual restaurant. Nav couldn’t come because he had his own family matters to attend to but Harry was more than willing to accept the offer. He says he came to Hawaii alone and that he had nothing better to do, but his intense stare on Y/N when he accepted the offer says that’s not the only reason he was so quick to join.
It was also part of the tradition that they ride together in the van, 1) because it was the most spacious vehicle where they were able to ride together and 2) because Y/N’s parents are pretty fun to be around. They blasted the best music and made the best jokes, causing not one dull car ride. When they filed in, AJ and Kalani pushed themselves to the back seat, leaving Y/N and Harry to sit in the separate middle row chairs.
“Oh! Harry, I’m sorry, I forgot to ask. Does your family want to join us? They’re more than welcome to,” Y/N’s mom looked over her shoulder in the passenger seat.
He cleared his throat, looking up from his phone and sitting up a bit in his seat, an uncomfortable look on his face. “M’here alone, actually.”
Before anyone could ask any questions, AJ clapped Harry’s shoulder, saying, “We’re your temporary family now, man.” Despite being competitors, it seems the two of them really hit it off and AJ genuinely meant what he said about being Harry’s family. Though, everyone knows the main reason he said it was to diminish the rising tension.
“Thanks, mate,” Harry returned, fist bumping AJ. And during the little exchange, Harry caught eyes with Y/N, catching her eyes wandering around his profile and facial features, causing her to look away quickly and look out the window as if the view was something spectacular. She could hear him snicker quietly, and just when she thinks the coast is clear, she slyly looks back at him just to find out he’s already staring at her.
They really love staring at one another apparently.
When they arrived at the restaurant, Y/N and Harry were pushed to the back of the group -- not really by choice but somehow it ended up that way -- and neither of them really made any moves to break the silence between them. Y/N because she was nervous, and Harry because he wanted her to be the first to speak. And it just so happened that when they were sat at a table, they were left with the last two remaining chairs that also happened to be right next to each other. Y/N couldn’t figure out if they were doing this on purpose or it was by coincidence, but she can tell Harry doesn’t mind.
She’s not one to be nervous around guys, but there’s something about Harry and how he is so blatantly interested in her that makes her wary of talking to him. Kalani sat across the table from her, and when they made eye contact, they had a silent conversation about how Y/N should grow the balls and actually talk to him. Of course Y/N refused, which earned her a kick to the shin in retaliation, which then caused her to let out a yelp of pain and made everyone look at her confused and worried. 
“Sorry, hit my knee on the table,” she brushed it off, glaring at her best friend the moment everyone turned away and continued with their own conversations. 
Being as slick as possible, Kalani directed her eyes to Harry when he wasn’t looking so Y/N could see her, before turning to AJ and talking to him about something completely irrelevant. Again, Y/N and Harry were stuck in this silence. She’s not exactly sure why she can’t just start a conversation, but he’s kind of intimidating and she’s afraid of embarrassing herself, especially in front of her family. 
Pursing her lips and looking down to her lap, Y/N finally turned to give Harry her attention, noticing how he was staring into space, looking completely lost in this foreign setting. “So, uh, where exactly are you from?”
Harry was quick to turn his head to Y/N, waiting and waiting and waiting for the moment she would say something. “A small town in Cheshire. Northwest of London, if that helps.”
“That’s a pretty far trip to take alone,” she nods, licking her bottom lip before gently biting down on it. As much as she thinks of herself as an independent person, she’s also an extreme homebody and could never imagine going anywhere without anyone by her side, whether it be family or friends.
He merely shrugs in response, “M’better off alone.”
Y/N cocked her head to the side while looking at him, letting his words sizzle inside her mind as she tries to overanalyze him in the mere hours she’s known him. She turned her gaze down to her hands that were intertwined in her lap, mulling over her next words to say. She doesn’t know him, but she knows the feeling of being alone. And being alone, no matter how appealing it could sound, never works out in the end. People aren’t meant to live alone. It goes against the natural order of life, and just hearing him say he prefers being alone breaks her heart just the tiniest bit. “No one’s better off alone. Everyone needs someone eventually.”
Little does she know, is that she is his someone. Or, at least that’s what Harry’s hoping. He thinks he’s crazy for being so enthralled by someone so suddenly and so strongly, but Harry’s always been one to trust his gut. His plushie but toned gut was screaming at him that this girl is just meant to be in his life. Maybe meant to be his, but he won’t push his luck. “Guess we’ll have to wait an’ see.”
They both smiled softly at one another, a small blush creeping up Y/N’s cheeks for the umpteenth time that day. “I guess we will.”
❊ ❊
It had been a little over two weeks since qualification day. Her days hadn’t changed much in regards to her schedule; Waking up at the ass crack of dawn and heading straight into the water and staying in practically until the sun was set. But, there was one slight shift in her day, and that was the now familiar face of Harry popping in everyday, either physically or in her mind.
It was safe to say Harry was quickly adapting to the three friends, merging with them seamlessly; As if he had been part of this little group since he was a child. It’s not like any of them minded, especially AJ because he was happy to get another guy around. Their friend Nav wasn’t exactly a permanent part of their little group because he belonged to everyone and no one, but Harry stuck around them like glue and AJ was so grateful. 
Y/N’s grateful because now she isn’t a third-wheel.
Harry and her aren’t exactly buddy-buddy, but it definitely helps having someone else around for movie night so Y/N isn’t stuck watching her best friend’s all cuddled up together and hearing the occasional kiss they would share.
Though, Harry has made it known time and time again that he really wants to be buddy-buddy with her. And Y/N’s not exactly sure why she won’t give him what he wants, but for some reason she loses all comprehensive skills and becomes a blubbering, nervous mess around Harry whenever he brings up his interest in her. So, she’s successfully avoided all buddy-buddy conversations with him by bringing up mundane things instead. Like, why she decided to paint her nails blue, or why she absolutely despises white socks.
She thought she was doing a pretty skillful job too. But, after the first two times she avoided giving a yes or no answer to going on a date with him, Harry purposely would ask her just to hear what other obscure distractions she could come up with. He loved hearing Y/N talk, and without her knowing, he was getting to know her piece by piece, inch by inch, and he was loving it.
Though, a guy’s ego can only take so many rejections before he gives up completely. And just when he was ready to call it quits and accept that she wasn’t interested in him like he was her, the unexpected happened.
Y/N agreed to a date.
Well, kind of.
It was time for the Hawaiian Pro. The official first event of the Vans Triple Crown. It was taking place at Ali’i Beach Park in Hale’iwa, one of the most intense surfing spots filled with waves of  many different faces. Of course, this is when Y/N’s nerves really started to kick in. Qualification day isn’t anywhere near as filled with people as the actual events are, and her nerves have seemed to kick it into high gear. It doesn’t help that the Hawaiian Pro is when her life changed a year ago. She could hear people whispering about her, wondering if she’s going to wipe out again or if this time she’ll stay under the water. Her mind was already frenzied enough, but nothing completes the cycle like a panic attack and the embarrassment of many on-goers witnessing said panic attack.
She almost backed out. How is she meant to be the best when her body is afraid of taking its final breath? The tide was high and the waves showed no mercy. How is she meant to challenge that? How is she meant to control the water beneath her when she can’t even control her own thoughts?
It was getting to be too much for her. This entire time leading up to the Triple Crown she’s denied her fear and her anxiety, telling herself she’ll get over it. She’s been doing good all year, so what makes now any different? But it is very different. The calm atmosphere of her backyard is no match for the rambunctious setting of the Triple Crown. And she’s a fool for thinking differently.
So, she was panicking.
Y/N couldn’t even get up from her seat in her parent’s van because she was so shaky. Her father held her close, easing her back to reality and away from her tortuous mind. Of course, he offered to drive them back home and away from the competition, telling her again that she didn’t have to prove herself to anyone. But, she declined again. Because she needed to prove it to herself. She’s stronger than her mind lets on, and she needs to make sure she knows that.
When she slid off her board and sank her toes back into the warm sand after a very successful first round, landing her in the lead spot, she was finally able to breathe again.
People congratulated her on her comeback, astonished to see her doing better than ever before. Her parents embraced her with love and elation, so beyond happy to see her laughing and smiling and enjoying herself now that she’s progressing forward. Kalani of course is her number one supporter, practically jumping on her and screaming in her ear about how happy she is for her best friend.
Everyone was making their rounds hugging Y/N, and then it was Harry’s turn. They didn’t exactly embrace like the rest of them had, but he threw his arm over her shoulders and pulled her to his side, squeezing her to him softly before looking down at her and saying, “Absolutely wicked, love. Gotta teach me some of y’fancy moves.”
“You sure? They’re really only meant for the pros,” she teased, biting at her bottom lip to conceal her laughter as he scoffed.
“”Ey, no one likes a narcissist,” he shoved her shoulder softly, rolling his eyes as her laughter rang through his ears. “But, whaddya say? M’gonna need a good teacher if I wanna make it to the big leagues.”
Y/N simply shrugs without really thinking much into it, “Sure.” Her mind didn’t exactly process what she had agreed to until later that night, before she dozed off into her temporary slumber. Her eyes shot open and her body sat upright as an over dramatic gasp was inhaled into her lungs. Her mind had been all over the place with the competition that she didn’t realize that she had agreed to being alone with Harry for the first time since they'd met. Immediately she texted and called Kalani, to which she got laughed at in return.
“Kalani, this isn’t a laughing matter!”
A few miles away, Harry was snuggled into his bedsheets, a bright smile stretched across his face as he reveled in the idea that he finally was going to be alone with Y/N since the first time they’d met. His heart was jumping and his stomach was fluttering as he envisioned her pretty face behind his eyelids before he drifted off into his dream with her. 
“It so is! C’mon, Y/N, what have you got to lose? You have the same interests, he’s funny, he’s hot, and he clearly is into you. Enjoy something outside of surfing for once.”
Enjoy something outside of surfing for once.
That’s the thought that stuck in her mind, lingering around as she finally fell asleep, and then when she woke up, and when she was eating breakfast; And doing her chores; And hanging out with Kalani; And eating dinner; And then falling asleep again. Y/N didn’t even realize she had spent so much of her past year focusing on her career and health that she hasn’t done much of anything else.
She’s so grateful to be alive, but she’s hardly given herself the chance to live again.
Before her accident, she was always up for adventure and was always the life of any party. After her accident, she hasn’t even been to a party. She hasn’t been in a relationship in years, she hasn’t gone on a date in a long time, and she can’t even remember the last time she’s had sex or kissed a guy. She’s been so focused on her redemption, that she can’t remember the last time she was genuinely happy.
Going on this date, but also not a date -- but also clearly a date -- with Harry just may provide her with that. And she owes it to herself, to her past self, that her accident isn’t going to shape her life anymore.
Plus, she really enjoys Harry’s company. And even if she doesn’t show it so bluntly like him, she really likes him too.
The next day, Y/N and Kalani had gone out shopping, enjoying a nice girls day out. They had bought a few new varieties of swimsuits (as if they didn’t have enough) and a few other types of clothes, got some lunch, and even found time to watch a movie. And they did all of this right up until the moment Y/N decided it was time to text Harry. 
She wasn’t sure how to go about this, because she’s never really asked anyone on a date before, or followed up with plans (?) about a date. Kalani kept urging her to just rip the bandaid off and to get it over with, saying something along the lines of, “You’re not getting any younger. Plus, I think he’d slip right off his board at the sight of you in that new yellow suit you got.” It was just a simple bikini, but it showcased the majority of her skin that essentially left little to the imagination.
But, the thing is, whenever Y/N gets into the water around people, she can’t help but cover her torso with a wet-shirt, insecure of the imperfections that lined her skin. It’s rare she can bear to look at her skin, so she only assumes no one else would want to either. So, she’s not so sure he’ll fall off his board at the sight of her, but the thought is nice.
Y/N pulled out her phone and hovered over his contact for a good amount of time before Kalani grew impatient and snatched the phone from her friend’s hand. They wrestled around with each other to try and gain custody of the phone, but finally in the end Y/N was able to hold her phone tight in her hands before declaring, “Okay! Okay! I’m texting, I’m going.”
Kalani peaked over Y/N’s shoulder as she watched her type the allusive message to Harry, a proud smile carving over her lips as she watched her break down a barrier she had subconsciously put up. It isn’t by any means important to be in a relationship or to have a boyfriend, but Kalani knows deep down that Y/N was wishing to have that special connection only a relationship could provide -- a connection outside of the realm of friendships.
“There,” Y/N huffed, shoving the screen of her phone in her best friend’s face.
hii, if you’re still up to learn from a true professional, I’m available tonight :)
It wasn’t even ten seconds later that she got a reply.
Shit, I’ll be your best student, babe. I know a perfect spot, I’ll be at yours in an hour.
It was kind of amusing to Y/N that he said he knows a perfect spot, as if she hadn’t been living on this island all her life and practically knows it like that back of her hand. But, that miniscule thought was pushed to the very depths of her mind as panic coursed through her as she realized what she was getting herself into. She’s going on a date, not a date, but also a date with Harry, and a small hour wasn’t enough time to gain her composure. 
Fuck.
❊ ❊
It’s no surprise to Y/N when Harry shows up to her house a minute early. She’s half convinced that he had been waiting outside of her house for the past fifteen minutes until he finally stepped up on to the porch of her house, knocking rapidly on the door. It wasn’t an emergent knock that caused some sort of panic, but it was a frantic knock that screamed ‘let’s get the show on the road.’
When she opened the door, both of their breaths were robbed from their lungs. Y/N essentially looked like she always did but something about her glowed differently to Harry; maybe it was because she’s his for the night. For his eyes only. Just him and her. He was awestruck. 
Harry essentially looked like he always did but something about him radiated differently to Y/N. The same little smirk was nestled in its usual spot, but this one held a different meaning. It looked the same, but maybe it was different because it was just her and him tonight. He’s hers for the night. For her eyes only. Y/N was nervous.
Y/N left her board out on her porch so she wouldn’t have to walk around back when he got here, but she was silently wishing she didn’t so she’d get just a couple more seconds to get herself together. She just kept chanting, “It’s not a date!” in her head, in hopes it would make her feel better.
It didn’t.
Harry saw her board and tucked it under his left arm as he threw his right one over her shoulders guiding her his mode of transportation. It also wasn’t a surprise to Y/N to see Harry rolling up in a light yellow Jeep; the top down and the doors off, typical of any surfer dude, no matter where they originate.
“Her name’s Betty,” he smiled, walking around the back and giving her a quick tap on her rear end before stepping up to straddle Y/N’s board safely and securely.
Sliding through the empty passenger door to take her seat, Y/N was greeted by a familiar smell, a smell she could only associate with Harry. And even if she could never admit it, she loved it a lot. It was mouth-watering and intoxicating, and simply put, it was Harry. Even with the open atmosphere of the car, it was still drenched in this specific smell, and Y/N can’t help but giggle at the image of Harry spritzing whatever cologne into the car before arriving at her house.
A few moments later, Harry slid into the driver side, placing the sunglasses that were sitting on the dash over his eyes, shoving the key into the ignition and starting them on their journey to whatever beach he had envisioned. On the ride there, over the course of a few right turns and lefts and different exits on the highway, Y/N surprisingly had no idea where they were going. Did she think maybe he was gonna murder her? A bit. But, she felt comfortable around Harry. So, she felt it in her gut that she was going to come out alive from this… event.
When they got to the beach, it was about thirty minutes from Y/N’s house, and she had no idea where they were. They had to walk a short path to meet sand and ocean, but once they made it past the clearing, Y/N was in awe of the site ahead of her. People could think that seeing the ocean every day ruins the peaceful and magical aura surrounding it. But, Y/N never gets sick of greeting it. The sun was beginning to set, and the water was glowing with a yellow-pink hue by the horizon that blended into a bright blue by the shore. The cliff sides around them guarded the little alcove, feeding into the tranquil atmosphere.
“How did you find this place?” Y/N wondered as she kicked off her sandals, and shimmied her shorts down her legs before kicking them over her sandals. The yellow bottom of her bikini was visible, and she turned her head just as Harry took a large gulp at the sight of her in front of him; Just for him. Her blue wet-shirt stayed on though.
It piqued Harry’s interest as to why she never took off her shirt. He understood for the competitions, but even when it was just a casual outing, just him and her, or them and their friends, she always kept it on. It wasn’t his place to ask, but he wished she would’ve broken this barrier down just this once. Just for him. “Tha’s a secret for me to know and you to maybe find out.”
Y/N let out a giggle - why? she didn’t know - and turned her attention back to the boy that brought her here, her eyes nearly popping out of her head as she caught Harry taking off his white t-shirt, now only clad in his little pink shorts next to his little pink board. His skin looked extra dewy, and his tattoos seemed to glint under the setting sun. Before she could devour him with her eyes, she picked up her board and took it with her, running down to the water and shouting, “C’mon slow-poke, gotta get in the water before the sun sets!”
It wasn’t a surprise to Y/N that this didn’t keep on track of a teaching lesson. Harry doesn’t need to be taught, he’s amazing on his own. He pulled off his own tricks that Y/N didn’t even know the name of, and she was asking him to let her in on his little secrets. He locked his lips in return, throwing the imaginary key somewhere over his shoulder, “Y’think I’m g’na tell you? I’m far too narcissistic to let you beat me at my own game.”
“Who said I’m gonna beat you?”
“Have you met you?”
There’s a reason Y/N’s name circulates throughout people’s brains, why her name is common in any Hawaiian household, why Harry was itching to meet her. She’s good at what she does. Insanely good that it’s kind of concerning. Not everyone can come back from a life-altering experience, but Y/N took those stereotypes and crushed them beneath the tail of her infamous yellow surfboard. She reveled in the doubts and came back stronger than ever. Of course she would beat him at his own game. She’s the only one who could.
There wasn’t any telling how long they had been riding wave after wave, in the water with no one else but just each other. But, the sun almost halfway past the horizon line was a good giveaway. They were probably nearing the two hour mark, and they knew they couldn’t stay out here all night, but Jesus, how they wished they could. Y/N wasn’t expecting to be so content, thinking this would be some strange, awkward, uncomfortable time they would want to forget about the moment they left each other’s sides.
It’s the opposite.
Just for him. Just for her.
They both laid on their boards, limbs sprawled out and dangling into the water as their bodies shut down in exhaustion. Y/N can’t remember the last time she went so long without taking at least a ten minute break. Her body was most definitely not used to it as she felt her back mold into her little yellow board, accepting the relaxation. When she finally opened her eyes back up, she turned her head to the side, admiring Harry’s profile as his arms were pulled over his head, the skin of his torso being stretched, which also stretched the ink that adorned him.
Y/N got lost in the mirage that is Harry, that she didn’t even realize he had turned his head and caught her ogling. It wasn’t until he cleared his throat that her eyes snapped to his, heat traveling up through her body and rushing to her cheeks. “M’eyes are up here, love.”
“Uh- right. Yeah, I know.”
“Cool. Hey d’y’wanna play twenty questions?” He asked, sitting up to straddle his board and paddling himself around so he was facing her. 
Y/N squinted her eyes, “Are we children?”
“I mean, I guess not. Doesn’t stop my five year old humor though,” he smiled, kicking his foot up to splash her with an inkling of water as his childlike, petty comeback. “You ask first.”
Y/N pushed her hand through the water to spray him in an ounce of sea salt before turning her head back to the sky, contemplating her first question. “Mm… favorite color?” She already knew the answer.
“And you asked me if we’re children? C’mon, darling, know you wanna know more than tha’. Pink. What was your first impression of me?” He wiggled his eyebrows, even though she couldn’t see his face. This has been one of those things that’s been nagging at the back of his mind ever since they first met. Their first encounter wasn’t awkward per-se, but the fleeting moment of introduction wasn’t exactly one worth remembering either. But, Harry was always going to remember it. And depending on Y/N’s answer, he hopes she will too.
At this, she turned her head back to Harry, hand covering her eyes as the sun glared at them over the reflective water. It was a sight to behold, seeing Harry glow in the golden hour light. “Intimidating. But, also unique,” she began, moving to sit herself up and paddle her board around so she was now facing him. “You remind me of a singular cloud in an otherwise clear sky. You’re not meant to be there, yet you’re not out of place.”
Harry sat for a moment, staring. Completely in awe. Head over heels. Never would’ve guessed those words to be the ones tumbling from her lips. It was the way she didn’t hesitate in her sentence, as if those words had been formulated a while ago and just now was she able to spew it from her wordbank. Just for him. “Fuck, that was beautiful. Your turn.”
“Do you really think you’re better off alone?”
Harry pursed his lips, looking off into the distance for a brief moment before shrugging, “I do. But, I don’t. If it comes down to going back to my family and friends from home or being alone, I’ll choose being alone.” And he wanted to sprinkle in the little bonus that he doesn’t feel alone when he’s around her, but something tells him that’ll just turn her away. “What’re you so afraid of?”
It’s a brash question Y/N wasn’t expecting to be thrown at her so suddenly. She has a mix of answers, and there’s a specific one flashing in her mind like a bright, neon yellow sign, but she’s not certain how comfortable she is with telling him yet. Though, she notices that whatever question she could throw his way, he’d answer it truthfully, not scared of opening himself up, just for her. She wants to be brave like that, and maybe she can be, but she’s not sure how.
It comes as a surprise to her when she does say, “I’m scared of going through everything that happened last year all over again. Everyone’s afraid of dying, or at least most people are, but experiencing death… there’s really no coming back from that. ”
“Experiencing it?” He looks at her wide-eyed.
“What, you haven’t heard of what happened last year?” She looks at him, eyebrows scrunched. 
“Only know you had some accident. No offense, but I didn’t really bother myself with reading the fine print,” he shrugs, running his pruney fingers through his salted hair. He didn’t know if he wanted to read it, especially not with the sudden news that apparently this very alive, lively girl in front of him… died? He doesn’t think he could stomach reading about that.
Y/N hasn’t met a single person who hasn’t heard about what happened to her. Or at least the details of it. In reality she doubts anyone outside of Hawaii knows of her existence, but in her world it was the biggest news to affect the state in a while -- aside from, like, actual serious matters, her accident was up there on the news.
She evades his second question though, not wanting to cough up the traumatic details of her past; not yet at least. “Well, it’s my turn anyway. Why surfing?”
“I could just look it up, but I get it; you’ll tell me when you’re ready,” he gave her a playful look, pursing his lips while giving her a pointed stare. “It’s different. England isn’t known for surfing. It’s known for rain and football. But, with every possible detail of m’life, I wanted to make sure I was different. My dad wanted me to become a professional footy player, so I said no. M’mum wanted me to go and get a degree and a real job. I didn’t want that. So, I turned to surfing,” he swung his arms around, gesturing to the vast sea and the board below him.
“Plus, it’s given me an excuse to leave home and come here. And y’know, so I could meet you.”
Y/N felt a small blush creep up her skin again, her eyes shooting down to her lap and her feet that were distorted under the water. Harry’s infatuation with the girl isn’t a secret, but anytime he purposely makes it known, it’s like a little secret that she’s unsure if she’s supposed to know or not. “Meet me?”
Harry kicked his foot up again so water would splash at her. “Uh-uh, my turn,” he laughed, shaking his head. He knew she thought she was slick at the way she bit her lip, containing her laughter. If she wants to play by the rules of the nonsensical game, then so will he. “Sunrise or sunset?”
“Sunset. Favorite song?” She wanted to reel back from the serious talk for a moment.
“Too many to choose from. Favorite movie?” He wanted to know every nitty-gritty detail about her.
She pondered for a moment, “Mamma Mia.”
“No shit! Me too!” His mouth dropped in shock, his hand flying up to his chest. 
“Really?”
“No,” he shook his head, immediately blocking the massive splash he sensed coming. 
Y/N rolled her eyes, huffing at him whilst crossing her arms over her torso, “Are you always so insufferable?”
“S’my middle name, babe. You hungry?” He laid himself down on his board on his belly, paddling himself to face the beach, ready to make a head start for the beach. Y/N hummed a response, following in suit and settling her stomach against the belly of the board and pushing herself to land. “Cool, let’s go get something to eat then I’ll take you home.”
Y/N’s legs felt weak, yet appreciative back on the sand. It felt like she was walking on Jell-O as she went to pick up her towel and clothes. Looking down to her shirt, she knew it was out of the question to let him see her take it off. And she could turn her back so he wouldn’t see her front -- whether or not it’s clad in a bikini top -- but even then her heart raced at the thought. She held her t-shirt in her hands and thought it over for a moment before blurting, “Could you turn around please?”
Harry looked up from checking his phone quickly, tilting his head in confusion before looking down to the shirt in her hands. The dots are connected and the bright neon pink sign in his head is telling him to listen to her, and not to question it. So, he doesn’t. Just for her. It’s still unbeknownst to Harry why she never takes her shirt off, but he knows better than to think with his dick, and accepts her wishes, turning his back to her. 
Y/N lets out a small breath of relief, grateful he didn’t question her on it. She’s quick to rip off her shirt and pat dry her wet skin before hastily throwing on her dry one, giving Harry the OK to turn back around. 
“Sorry, I just… I’m not comfortable with anyone seeing my, uh, my scar,” she mumbles, nervously moving her hair from one shoulder over to the other. Harry shrugs in response, picking his board up from the ground and wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they began their walk back to his car.
“You don’ have to explain yourself to me, babe,” he smiled down at her, squeezing her to his side softly.
Y/N looked up at him, and she’s sure that if she could see herself right now, her eyes would be twinkling in delight, with adoration. Just for him. “Thank you.”
They didn’t say anything else for a few minutes, walking the distance to his lonesome Jeep in peace. The silence gave Y/N time to think and to mull over all of the gushy feelings she was feeling inside about the guy beside her. She had no reason not to like him, realizing it was only fear that was pushing her away. But, this night displayed a soft side to Harry that she fell head over heels for. His smooth, easy-going approach to life, mixed in with respect for her, and a hint of witty humor was enough to tell her how she truly feels about him. And she’s scared, not because she’s afraid, but because she’s not.
Y/N can find herself easily opening up to Harry quicker than she has anyone else because she trusts him. She can just tell he’s got nothing to hide, so in-turn she wants to be the same. She doesn’t want to cower away, but revel in happiness. Because she deserves it.
Harry quickly secured the boards back into their previous spots before sliding into the driver side and whisking them away from their little getaway. The wind swept through their hair and chilled their still slightly wet skin, causing goosebumps to trail up Y/N’s arm as chills raked through her body. This time around in the car they both were more laid back, not singing along to the songs playing on the radio but rather just listening and taking in the blissful atmosphere they’ve created.
There’s been one question dancing across her mind though ever since he brought up the little game of twenty questions. It was the first one to pop up in her mind when she was thinking of something juicy to ask. She didn’t want to ask it though, in fear of what his answer would be. But, now she’s not afraid. She’s curious though.
“Is this a date?” She queried, turning the volume of the radio down a bit so he could hear her and vice versa. 
Harry glanced at her through his peripheral, one eyebrow cocking up on his forehead, “Is the sky blue?”
“I mean, right now it’s like orange-blue,” she retorted, looking at the newly sun-ridden sky that blended shades of orange into the usual night blue. 
“Brainiac. There’s your answer. It’s however you want to look at it,” he digressed, reaching over to pat her thigh - in more of a friendly manner rather than sensual.
She appreciated his answer, absolutely adoring the fact that he wasn’t putting pressure on her about anything. It was hard to comprehend just how nice he truly is, and how someone could be so perfect. She couldn’t see a flaw in his looks or his personality or his morals, and all she could wonder was how someone like him could possibly like someone like her. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you, Harry.”
He side glanced at her again, this time raising both of his eyebrows in puzzlement, “I’ll take tha’ as a good thing?”
“It’s good. It’s… it’s a good thing.”
❊ ❊
The two of them had discussed where they wanted to go, neither of them wanting to decide and going back and forth with one another, saying, “No, you decide,” “No you.”
Y/N was never good at decisions, especially mundane ones like where to eat. She always lets Kalani decide because she could eat anything, and it’s her friend that’s the picky one. But, Harry is the same way. Whatever is put in front of him, he could probably eat (except for pickles, he absolutely hates pickles).
They settled for pizza. And it was going to be Harry’s first time trying a slice of Hawaiian.
Y/N hates Hawaiian slices, finding the sweetness of the pineapple and the savor of the ham unsettling atop her pizza. It sends her taste buds into shock and her mind into a meltdown. But, she insisted he try it, because how could someone be in Hawaii and not try its state-named slice?
They sat at their little table in the corner of the restaurant that was alongside a window, giggling to themselves as they played a little game of eye-spy, waiting for their food. For some odd reason, Harry was really good at this game, always picking the hardest of objects to point out, always stumping a frustrated Y/N.
“You’re cheating.”
“How the fuck am I cheating?”
“Dunno, you just are.”
And in retaliation to her accusation, Harry pointed to her shirt, stating she got a little soda on it, causing her to look down to her chest and see nothing but finger as he flicked her nose. “Too easy. Sore loser.”
Y/N huffed, sticking her tongue out at him. The playful banter between them was the best part of their days lately. Before Y/N even realized her feelings for Harry, she always looked forward to what they would bicker about -- in a friendly matter of course. Now, she constitutes that to just wanting to see him because she really enjoys his company, and him. 
It’s been a long time since she’s felt this way about anyone, and she’s sort of glad she gets to feel this way about Harry. He’s an enigma, but a good one. She’s totally transfixed by him and she never wants this euphoria to end. He radiates this bright and bubbly energy that lifts her mood whenever she’s around him, and she’s afraid of losing that. But, she chooses not to dwell on the what-if, instead completely basking in the present and his gooey aura of happiness. 
When the food finally came out, they both were quick to stuff their faces, their stomachs practically turning inside-out from how hungry they were. It came to no surprise to Harry that he was absolutely in love with this Hawaiian slice, already looking forward to ordering two more. 
Y/N looked at him a tad worried. He was scoffing down three slices as if there were no tomorrow, all within a matter of two minutes. She was slightly worried he was going to reach over and take her dinner, because that’s how hungry he seemed to be. But, he should know better than to get between Y/N and her food. Like the one time he tried to take some of her fries, to which she punched him in the shoulder and then took them back.
“Hey, y’gonna eat that?” He points to her not yet touched slice of pizza, earning a glare that could kill in response. “Cool, you are, just making sure. Can’t let precious food go t’waste. It’s my turn for a question right?”
Y/N thinks back for a second to determine if he’s right or not, remembering she did ask a question last. She nodded her head before biting into her little piece of heaven. 
“Was it hard getting back in the water?”
She brought her napkin up to her mouth to wipe away the drop of sauce she felt on her cheek, mulling over her answer. “Kinda. I knew I had to eventually because it’s all I know, it was just a matter of when. My parents were terrified, and I mean I was too but I can’t let that dictate my future. I love surfing and nothing is going to take that away from me.”
Not even something as horrifying as death could take her away from her true love. Not until she’s truly six-feet under, riding silver waves in the silver palace. 
“Do you think you’re going to stay here? In Hawaii?” Y/N wondered, taking a sip of her Coke.
“Got nowhere else to be,” he shrugged, mindlessly tapping his fingers on the table in an arrhythmic pattern. “Home is where the heart is, right? Well, think mine’s here right now.” Across from her. Just for her.
Home is where the heart is.
“Does it count if my heart isn’t mine?”
Last year, Y/N was going about her day like she always did. She was fine, in tip-top shape just like she had been for the past twenty years of her life. The bright sun was out and shining over all of the surfers and onlookers, and it seemed just like every other regular day. She was paddling out into the water, and the perfect, golden first wave was approaching her. She pushed herself up onto her feet, balancing her body, in tune with the wave, executing a nearly perfect opener. Then, she felt her chest tighten and her body suddenly felt weak. Breathing rapidly grew difficult, causing her to instantly panic. She fell off her board, plummeting into the water, trying to gasp for air but choking on the sea that swimmed down her throat. 
Feeling herself sink as her chest was on fire was the last she remembered. The baby blue sky blended into black and that was it. Her life was over. 
Kalani was the one who went in after her, screaming for help as her best friend was blue in the face and not moving. 
Y/N suffered a heart attack. Apparently, she had a condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, that went unnoticed all her life. On this day, her heart had thickened extensively, making it difficult to pump blood to the rest of her body. The strain on her heart caused it to give out, right when she was feeling the high of riding a solid wave. She was pronounced dead for a total of forty-five seconds before EMT could revive her. Supposedly she’s lucky to be alive, because if not treated basically instantly, there’s a slim chance of survival. But, she was able to stick it out until the hospital.
Her heart was in brutal shape, so she was sent to the top of a donor waiting list. Y/N and her family are forever grateful for the team of doctors and nurses that stuck by her side, knowing she wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them. Or her sheer luck.
Y/N felt a little crazy for feeling so comfortable spilling all of this information so suddenly to Harry, but at the same time she didn’t. And the best part about it is that none of it seems to freak Harry out. Nothing about who she is or how she is scares him. And that’s what makes her feel so comfortable. “My scar, it’s from a heart transplant. I had a heart condition all my life apparently. Then suddenly one day, it couldn’t handle it anymore, so it gave out. A girl named Shauna’s heart is keeping me alive right now.”
Harry didn’t blink for a whole minute.
He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, trying to come up with something, anything to say to the girl across from him. But, he had nothing. He didn’t know what to say.
His silence was a little concerning to Y/N, making her wish she could just be swallowed whole by the ground below her. Was it too soon to drop the HT bomb? He was bound to find out eventually, and she figured it was best to rip the bandaid off on her own time rather than someone else telling him or him looking it up on Google. 
She’s kicking herself over it. 
Harry cleared his throat, taking a sip of his water before licking his lips and leaning back in his chair. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
Y/N merely shrugged, “Don’t be. Shit happens. Who knows, if it never happened we may not be here now.”
Harry raised his eyebrows, his signature small smirk back on his face in its usual spot. He raised his glass, leaning it forward a bit toward her, stating, “Cheers to that, babe.” She raised her own glass and clinked it against his, a smile on her lips as she sucked up the remaining bit of her soda through her straw. She’s happy he didn’t turn and run away.
Cheers to that, babe.
By the time they both filled their guts to the point of feeling overstuffed, mindlessly chatting and spending time together, it was already past ten o’clock. The time had passed them by like it was nothing, but they weren’t necessarily complaining. The older couple next to them were though. Y/N had to pull Harry out of the restaurant before he bit the woman’s head off for how rude she was. That’s when they knew it was time to skedaddle.
Then they just drove around for another hour before Harry figured it was time to bring her home, much to his dismay. But, when her head lolled against the passenger seat headrest and her eyes would softly shut in exhaustion. He wanted desperately to reach over and tuck the loose strand of hair that fell out of her ponytail, behind her ear. He wanted to reach over and place his hand on her thigh as they drove down the highway, softly squeezing her skin before teasingly inching up towards her hidden gem.
Is it too soon to be in love?
It was like a slap in the face when Harry parked in front of her house. Reality stuck its nose into their little wonderland bubble, and unfortunately, they couldn’t push it back out.
Harry hopped out of his seat, unfastening her board from the trunk and tucking it under his arm as they walked side-by-side to her front door. He gently placed it down where he had initially found it earlier on, tucking his lips into his mouth as he stuck his hands in his pockets.
“I uh… I guess this is it. I had a really ni-”
“I’ve got one more question before you leave me,” he interrupted her little speech, stepping impossibly closer to her, barricading her between him and the banister on her porch. It wasn’t hard to notice the long stares at her shiny lips that glinted in the dull yellow glow of the light by the door. He purposely took extra time to rake over the features of her face before finally meeting her eyes. 
Y/N swallowed nothing but air as she softly bit at her bottom lip, “Yeah?”
She already knew his question.
“Can I kiss you?”
He already knew her answer.
Y/N slyly looked at him, bringing her hands up, a bit hesitant to rest on his shoulders. “I thought this wasn’t a date.”
“Sky’s blue.” Y/N looks up at the sky and notices it’s dark blue hue, twinkling stars layers on top, surrounding the fullest, brightest moon. It was a beautiful sky, perfect to share a first kiss under.
He leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers as his hands came up to her hips. Her eyes fluttered shut, waiting for the climactic moment to overcome them, the air of the night chilling up her spine.
But, then she felt fiery, red hot as their lips locked together in a soft kiss. It was as soft as they felt towards one another. This giddy, slow paced, admiring kiss that had their insides melting but their hearts pounding. This kiss is exactly how Y/N images Harry. A pale yellow that’s not harsh on the eyes, that resonates happiness. Harry imagines it as a hot pink, one that takes his breath away and captures his mind.
It wasn’t long before it turned heated, Harry’s tongue sweeping into her mouth, and one of his hands travelling further south to grab hold of the flesh of her behind. Y/N let out a soft moan into his mouth as her hands tangled into his mound of curls, tugging softly on his roots.
Then the disturbing image of either one of her parents opening the front door at any moment flashed across her eyes, causing her to pull back, kissing his bottom lip softly before trailing her thumb over the swollen skin and opening her eyes to look into his gaudy, green ones.
The sounds of their breaths mingled together as tired smiles adorned their faces, little giggles leaving each of their mouths as they basked in what just happened. All Harry could think was, ‘It’s about damn time.’ All Y/N could think was, ‘Why did I ever push him away?’
“My turn,” she spoke after a few moments, standing up straighter and fixing her shirt around her body. “Pick me up tomorrow?”
A wide, shit-eating grin spread out across Harry’s face as he ran his hand through his mangled curls. “Sunrise. If y’not in this exact spot in the morning, m’knocking the door down and dragging you out by y’hair.” He hopped down off the porch, completely skipping the steps as the adrenaline of their first kiss kicked into his system.
“Sunrise,” she agreed.
He hopped back into the driver’s side of his Jeep, throwing his hand up in a goodbye wave as he sped away, already counting down the seconds until he would see his golden ray of bright and bubbly sunshine again. He’s not so sure if he’ll be able to fall asleep.
Y/N didn’t have that same problem. The moment she landed on her bed, her eyes shut faster than the speed of light, her last conscious thought being of Harry. Her smile never leaving her face. 
❊ ❊
Meeting at sunrise had become part of their routine. Not always to surf, but just to be together. Sometimes they surfed at their little alcove, other times they would watch the sun from her backyard, snuggled up in blankets on the beach. Or, they would surf, get breakfast, then fall back asleep in his bed until a more decent hour of morning.
But, their day always began at sunrise. It would be the equivalent to say that it also ended at sunset, but sunset was always too soon to part ways. 
This wasn’t an everyday occurrence, mostly at random. Except for Sundays. Sundays are specifically their day, as per request of Harry. How could he be in love with a girl that coined yellow as her color, that had a smile as bright as the huge burning star, that claimed golden hour was prime sun time, and not deem Sunday as their day? He didn’t put any second thought into it.
Despite their sort of fast paced first date, they’ve been taking things slow, truly getting used to the feel of one another over the course of the next couple of months. It wasn’t until a month later that Harry popped the question, officially making Y/N his forever buddy-buddy. Well, not necessarily forever, but they both know it’s basically forever.
Harry never wants to be alone again.
It wasn’t until the night after they became official that Y/N finally took her shirt off in front of him. She was going through one of her episodes, and Harry was the only one around who could help her. He managed to calm her down and bring her inside her house - that was empty because her parents had gone out for the night - and get her to the bathroom so she could take a shower.
Initially, he was going to let her get in by herself, knowing her boundaries in regards to her body and not seeing it. But, when he saw how worn down she looked, he whispered words of reassurance in her ear, asking her permission to help get her in the shower. He wasn’t thinking with his dick, he just wanted to help the girl that didn’t know how to help herself.
Y/N looked him in the eyes, nibbling softly on her bottom lip before averting her attention to her chest for a few moments. She trusts him, and if they’re bound to work out, she needs him to be comfortable with seeing all aspects of her both mentally and physically. Which includes her scar. 
So, she nods her head in agreement.
She lifted her arms and allowed him to remove her shirt, immediately feeling self-conscious. She couldn’t look him in the eyes as she stepped out of her shorts and underwear, going into the shower to avoid any lingering stares. Harry was quick to follow behind her, shutting the curtain after him. That’s when Y/N turned around and completely broke down, the tears that have been building behind her eyes finally pouring out. Harry wrapped her in his arms, letting her cry her eyes out for however long she needed.
When she stopped, Harry washed her hair, washed her body, washed away her bad thoughts, then washed himself as fast as he could so he could get her into her bed for the night. She snuggled up to his side, enjoying the warmness of his body that contrasted her cool ones. 
That night when her parents came home, they spotted Harry’s Jeep in front of their house. Though when the house was eerily quiet, and found the door to her bedroom slightly ajar, they peeked inside and saw the two of them fast asleep. Parents usually would get angry at the sight of their child in bed with someone of a different gender, but not Y/N’s parents.
Over the last two months, they saw their daughter break back out of her shell, slowly returning to her former self, and all because of Harry. They saw how happy she became whenever he was around, or they’d overheard happy she was when just talking about him to Kalani. How could they ever get angry at the fact that Y/N was happy?
With the blossoming of their relationship taking place at the same time as the Vans Triple Crown, word got around fast and soon enough they were the star couple leading the ranks in their respective divisions. The world -- or really the surfing world, because no one really pays attention to professional surfers, was in awe of them. They were the hype of the news, of the town, of the state. Rightfully so, because they’re awfully cute. 
It came as no surprise to everyone when the two were crowned the champions. The press went wild with this one, stating there was some scam happening behind the scenes, because what were the odds that this new star couple could both win? Or, how could Harry, a newbie, shoot his way up to the top in just one year? Or, how could Y/N dominate with her physical ailments? 
There wasn’t a hoax and there wasn’t any cheating. They both were just that good.
The day of the final competition, they may have worked just a little harder to land the championship title. Harry had picked Y/N up and they traveled to their secret hideaway bright and early in the morning. After being out at a party the night before, the two were in no shape to get in the water already, opting to snooze under the shade of a cliff on the beach for a little while. 
They didn’t sleep for very long before they got wrapped up in one another, indulging in a morning session of intimate love. They slept for maybe an hour before Y/N was ready to get her swim on, but Harry was the biggest sack of lazy mush that morning. He didn’t want to get up for nothing. He was laying down on his surfboard, completely comfortable under the shade. Y/N tried tugging on his arms to get him up, but he wouldn’t budge, a half-sleepy and dazed smile on his lips.
At one point he tugged her back, causing her to land on his lap, legs straddling his hips as her face crashed into his chest. His arms wrapped around her back, securing him to her as he said, “See? Isn’t this so much better than physical activity?”
“C’mon tubby, we got shit to do,” Y/N giggled, but Harry just held onto her tighter and nuzzled his cheek to the top of her head.
He hummed, “S’comfortable here.”
Y/N didn’t know what else to do, so the only maneuver left was bribery. Harry’s no different than any guy in the sense that once sex is brought into the mix, his ears perk up and his dick stiffens. So, Y/N was going to use that to her advantage. “If you get up, you can fuck me all night tonight.”
Harry was quick to sit up, her still in his lap, eyes squinted in suspicion. Y/N bit her lip to refrain from laughing, but she was mentally patting herself on the back. His hands shifted down her back to grab onto the flash of her behind, pulling her center closer to his and building up a bit of friction. “How about right now and tonight?”
“I can’t be exhausted for today, H,” Y/N rolled her eyes, moving to get herself off his lap, but he kept her grounded.
“You don’t ‘ave to get in the water now. You’ve practiced, you’re prepared, you got this. The championship is practically in your hands already,” he disclosed, peppering kisses up the side of her neck, a few across her jawline, and then landing on her lips.
Even if that may be true, she doesn’t want that to stop her from putting effort and time into winning. “Harry…” she started, getting lost in the feel of his lips suckling a lovebite right in the crook of her neck, her most sweet spot. He lifted his hips up slightly, pushing against her heat, eliciting the smallest moan from her mouth.
“Bet y’soaking your suit. Can I see?”
They only have a limited amount of time before they need to get to the Northshore at Ehukai Beach Park for the competition. It was about a forty-five minute drive alone. But, Harry’s lips and fingers were way too persuasive, so Y/N nodded her head.
“Good girl.”
He lifted her up so her back was now against the belly of his pink board, her legs immediately wrapped around his broad shoulders as he placed a chaste kiss to her clothed core. She whined as he hooked his fingers into her bikini bottoms, dragging them tortuously slow down her legs. His eyes immediately attracted themselves to her glistening slit, her wetness practically inviting him in. “So fucking pretty, baby.”
Harry’s hands pushed her legs as far apart as they would go, licking a fat stripe up from her little hole to her sensitive clit. Y/N threw her head back as he focused his attention on her clit, swirling his tongue around the little bud before sucking it into his mouth. She was a whimpering mess, but that earned her a smack on the ass and a first warning from Harry.
“No one’s around. Let me hear you loud and clear,” he gave her a pointed look, keeping their eye contact as he went a little further south, pushing the tip of his tongue into her cunt. Y/N tried closing her legs around his head but Harry just pushed them open further, keeping a firm grip on her thighs that were bound to leave bruises. Bruises just for her. 
Her jaw fell slack, moans tumbling past her pink lips louder and louder. Her nails dug into his shoulders, most likely leaving scratches he’ll find later when they’re stinging in the shower. Just for him.
Y/N was growing restless as he inserted his middle and ring finger inside of her, pushing and pulling them at an intense pace that caused her toes to curl in the sand by his hips. When he managed to push his index finger in alongside the other two, Y/N began to see stars at the stretch of her walls.
“So tight f’me. Imagine it was my cock instead. Would feel so good and full, but you’d be too exhausted for later, hm?” He cooed, letting her adjust to the extra digit inside of her before fucking her harder and faster than before. He kissed up her tummy that was visible from under her shirt before landing his forehead against hers.
His free hand grabbed a hold of her jaw, making her face him which caused her eyes to open up quickly, locking eye contact with one another. “S’a shame. M’so hard, like a fucking rock. But you’ll be too tired.”
Teasingly, Y/N nodded her head in agreement, earning a hard glare from her lover. At this, he stopped the movement of his fingers, slowly pulling them out of her. Y/N’s mouth opened wide, her eyebrows scrunching in confusion as Harry sucked his fingers past his lips, indulging in her sweetness that tasted like a little sliver of heaven. 
“Wh-wha…?”
“Close y’mouth, Y/N. Gonna catch flies,” he smirked, reaching over for her bikini bottoms and sliding them back up her legs until they were nestled against her soaking wet, throbbing pussy. “Said it y’self. Can’t be exhausted for the finale today, gotta be quick on your feet and coasting the gnarliest waves. C’mon slow poke, gotta get some practice in.”
So, Y/N was pissed off to say the least. And because of this, she was extra determined to push herself as far as she could to come out on top today. Harry on the other hand, well he was just mad that he had an insane hard-on that his own girlfriend didn’t want to tend to. He should’ve expected his little stunt wouldn’t go over nicely, but the look on her face when he stopped was absolutely priceless.
When it was announced that Y/N and Harry had won in their divisions everyone was beyond elated at the news, cheers and hugs and kisses spread all around the group. Though when it was their turn to congratulate each other, they looked at each other, small smiles on their faces before they turned to make conversation with someone else. That didn’t stop them from reaching for one another though, slyly interlocking their hands together.
They were whisked away quickly for pictures, holding their trophies high in the air, the biggest smiles on their faces. Y/N’s parents were cheering them on, more specifically her because they were so proud she was able to take her life back. Y/N could cry at the sight of her mother being a blubbering mess, and her dad’s admiration sparkling across his eyes. Though, with the support of her family, Y/N’s mind couldn’t help but wonder about Harry’s family, and how they couldn’t support their son with what he loved. 
With this, Y/N squeezed his hand harder, and despite the cameras around them, she leaned up on her tiptoes and placed a kiss to his lips, the clicks of the cameras and the chatter of the crowd increasing. But, neither of them cared as they looked at one another, full of love.
Because that’s what this was. Love.
It didn’t matter that they had only met a little over three months ago, only dating for two months. They were in love. And that’s all that mattered.
Going out to dinner that night, they hardly left each other’s sides. They were being that obnoxious clingy couple that no one likes being around, but they didn’t care. Because they both knew they were in love. An unspoken love that didn’t have to be announced because the whole world knew, and so did they.
“Cheers to the love birds! And for the love of God, could you stop looking at each other like that,” AJ gagged, causing everyone to laugh before they clinked glasses.
When they left the restaurant, Harry and Y/N hopped into Betty, driving around for a little while before they decided to stay at his for the night. It was when the wind was blowing in her hair again, the moon shining above them and shining through her hair, his hand gently on her thigh, squeezing softly in contrast to that morning, that Harry truly felt it. This love that he has for this girl. Love that’s meant just for her. Her, and only her.
This gushy feeling was put on hold for a little while though the moment they walked through the door of his apartment. Y/N was bent over the arm of his living room couch, her one leg bent and on the armrest beside her while the other was trying its best to keep her steady on the ground. Harry’s fist was wrapped up in her hair, proving to make it more difficult for her to keep her balance. Though she wouldn’t want it any other way. 
“What’s the matter, babe? You said I could fuck you all night.” Harry’s hot breath coated the shell of her ear, “Y’tired?”
She gasped at a particularly hard thrust that felt like it had hit against her cervix, trying to get the word No out in between her moans and whimpers. 
“Hope not. Had me aching all day for your tiny cunt. M’gonna need a few hours to really appreciate it.” She could feel his menacing smirk against her skin as he again thrusted so far deep inside of her, her one leg gave out. If it wasn’t for Harry holding her up, she would’ve fell right over, too weak to even try and get back up.
They went twice on the couch before Harry helped her get to the shower, where they did it again. And then when they finally cleaned themselves, they got into bed, where they did it again, but this one could be classified under love-making. It was slow and sensual and sweet, just like them. Harry paid extra attention to her scar, trailing down the tissue with soft kisses as they softly climaxed together.
It was a little past midnight at this point, and they were both extremely tired. Y/N was on the brink of dozing off into dreamland before Harry interrupted her exhaustion. 
“We never finished our game of twenty questions, did we?” He murmured, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.
Y/N lazily opened her eyes, shaking her head, “Don’t believe so.”
“Think it’s my turn,” he hummed. “Do you love me?”
There was silence for a brief couple of seconds, making Harry think Y/N had dozed off before answering his question. But, Y/N just needed those seconds to collect her mushed thoughts inside of her mushy brain before giving him a coherent and valid response.
“Yeah. I do.”
Harry smiled, probably the biggest he’s ever smiled, leaning down and taking hold of her face and smashing their lips together in a ceremonious kiss.
“Sick. Ditto, Sunshine.”
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crankynewt · 4 years ago
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Chapter One - Losing Game
Another Love Series Masterlist
Pairing: Regulus Black x Fem!Reader, Young!Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader
Song: Arcade - Duncan Laurence
Warnings: Tons of Angst, Major Character Deaths, Pregnancy(?), and I definitely altered the timeline!
Word Count: 1.76k
Masterlist
Author’s Note: This is pretty angsty and was based on this song (which has always given me massive Reggie vibes), and I HIGHLY recommend listening to it when reading this!
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Perhaps your love was doomed from the start. Maybe you were just another Shakesperian tale of forbidden romance destined to conclude in nothing but suffering. He was your light despite the darkness that had encompassed him his entire life and although the war was over, the pain still remained. 
You had begged Regulus not to leave that night, tears blurring your vision as he explained that he had to be the one to destroy the horcrux. “There is no other way,” he had said, his voice shaky with the knowledge that this would likely be his end. You were young, too young, to be fighting this war. A battle that neither of you had any business being involved in the first place. Yet there you were, children who had grown up too quickly.
When he hadn’t returned the next morning, it hadn’t come as any surprise. You mourned the loss of your husband the minute he’d walked out that door. You weren’t vapid and neither was he, you were both well aware of what would happen in that cave. Whether or not Regulus succeeded, however, still remained to be seen. 
The isolation following the death of Regulus Black was something you brought upon yourself. You couldn’t stand seeing muggles continuing to lead their lives as if nothing had happened. Your world crumbled out from beneath you as the universe became a much darker place, so why haven’t they stopped? A person - your person - had died, how could people continue to lead their normal lives?  We were still at war, how could they not sense that something was horribly wrong?
The loneliness made you ill after a month, so sick that you were constantly emptying the contents of your stomach into your toilet as you lay on the cool tile. What prompted you to eventually seek out another were the two little lines on the plastic test. Before long you had apparated to Godric’s hollow, the crisp snow of December crunching under your feet as you made your way up the steps of a quaint looking house. It felt much more homey than the Grimmauld flat you’d been residing in, a slight comfort that what laid behind the door you knocked on may be just as welcoming.
The face that answered the door was kind, warm eyes and a welcoming smile framed by ginger locks. You never spoke to her during your years at Hogwarts due to the two years she had on you, but you knew the girl to be Lily Evans. Judging by the slight furrowing of her brows she had recognized you as well, probably unsure as to why Regulus Black’s wife had shown up on her doorstep seemingly out of nowhere.
“Uhm, is Sirius Black here by any chance?” You asked quietly, your gloved hands rubbing your arms as you fought off the evening’s chill. She need not answer as a pair of brown orbs peered at you from behind her.
“What are you doing here, (Y/N)?” Sirius questioned, bitterness lacing his words as he took in your frail appearance. The elder Black did not think highly of his little brother - the Death Eater, or so he thought. Yet Regulus had relayed numerous stories from their childhood that revealed that in earlier years of their lives, the duo had been inseparable. You were just hoping that some of that affection still remained.
“Can we please talk? It’s about your brother.” You said, voice wavering as you shivered in the cold. Lily seemingly took notice of this and ushered you into the warmth of their home, closing the door behind you and leaving the in-laws to speak in the front entryway.
“If Regulus has something to say to me than the little shit can come tell me himself-”
“Sirius, what are you talking about?” You asked incredulously. “Regulus died two months ago.”
Sirius had not been speechless many times in his life, yet there he stood with his head reeling, heart broken, and tears slowly welling in his eyes. At the end of the day, Regulus would always be his baby brother. And in that silence he sat and listened, taking in all of what had happened the past year. From Regulus deciding to turn on Voldemort to the fateful night destroying his horcrux, Sirius felt both pride and guilt building underneath the grief. Regulus had been a good person who gave his life doing the right thing, all in belief of the same values that had gotten himself disowned.
When you mentioned the pregnancy, Sirius once again found himself dumbstruck. But that shock was quickly replaced with a sense of duty, it was as if he had the opportunity to make up for his brother’s broken relationship. He would help you raise this baby, and he would make damn sure that they did not have the same broken childhood he had suffered.
Within the week, Sirius had moved back into 12 Grimmauld Place with you. The baby he was dedicating himself to had quickly become babies after finding out that not one, but two baby Blacks were on the way. He was at your side through every step of the pregnancy, and slowly but surely his friends made their way into your life as well. James was always there to put a smile on your face and Lily gave great advice as to dealing with the pregnancy as she had delivered Harry only weeks before you showed up. Remus was always there to offer chocolate and a good book while Peter always had a hot cup of tea ready for you.
Before long, Arcturus and Cassiopeia Black were welcomed into the world and the light in your life had been restored. They were both the spitting image of their father, seeming to have barely inherited any (Y/L/N) genes and only reminded you of their father with every coming day. Little Harry was thrilled to have playmates, and you had finally found your family. Although far from perfect, it was everything to you. But all good things must come to an end, and this state of grace was no different.
Halloween came and went. James, Lily, and Peter were gone, no, murdered. Sirius could not have done it, not to his family! The man you read about in the papers was not the same gentle soul who would sing the twins to sleep almost every evening. But regardless of what you thought of the man he was guilty in the eyes of the Ministry, and thus he was sent to Azkaban to suffer a fate worse than death. This loss rocked you once more, but this time you had the twins to look after, and you weren’t alone.
Remus had stepped right up to fill the shoes that Sirius had been filling for Regulus without hesitation. He was grieving the same losses as you and found solace in caring for little Archie and Cassie. You mourned together and healed together, and before long Remus became your other half. 
That friendship didn’t last long, however, as it eventually blossomed into something bigger, a love that you fought tooth and nail. Guilt consumed you as you felt yourself falling for the werewolf, not being able to shake the feeling that you were betraying Regulus as you fell deeper and deeper in love. 
Right around the second anniversary of his death was when you heard the first words pass through either of the twins’ lips. Archie squealed a high-pitched “dada” to Remus who had been helping you prepare breakfast, and your eyes met his equally glassy. While the man stuttered out a mix of apologies in fear of overstepping, you just embraced him and allowed him to hold you in the way nobody had for a long time. The toddlers had accepted him as their father, and you had denied the desire to love him for too long.
Six months later the two of you had married in a small ceremony of only Order members gathering to celebrate your love. You did, however, keep the last name ‘Black’ as an homage both to Regulus and Sirius’ roles in both of your lives. At that same celebration you also announced that a baby Lupin would be making their way into the world six months later. And alas, Theodore Lupin was born shortly after, and your little family was complete.
When it was finally time for Archie and Cassie to begin their future at Hogwarts, you couldn’t help but weep as they waved out the window of the Hogwarts Express, the siblings excited to start the next stage in their lives. Your husband wrapped an arm around you as he fought tears himself, meanwhile Teddy tugged onto your hand and questioned when he would get the chance to attend the school as well, already missing his big brother and sister. 
Remus and you had debated what house the twins would be sorted into, him adamant that they showed Gryffindor courage while you were certain that they would follow in your footsteps and be sorted into (Y/H). Your questions were answered the next morning as you received letters from two very excited Slytherins, taking after their father just as they had done in appearance and personality. You and Remus were proud nonetheless, but your husband was always saddened that they had never grown close to Harry. The divide between houses had seemingly grown even stronger since you two had attended and a friendship between the former friends hadn’t formed.
Two years later, the twins were approaching their third year as Teddy prepared to begin his magical schooling, and you began to ponder what your life would look like following their departure. You and your husband didn’t have the finances to travel and feared a life without the light of your children, and your questions were answered following a letter from Dumbledore himself. He offered the two of you teaching positions at Hogwarts, Defence Against the Dark Arts for Remus and Astronomy for yourself.
The two of you were ecstatic to spend the year with your children teaching, and walking side by side with the castle in view made you feel like a young girl again. A broken heart was all that was left, but Remus had been there to pick up your broken pieces and carry you home. But the wreckage of your life would not stay in ruins forever, as old friends and old loves remained closer than you had ever known and were about to rejoin your losing game.
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kuroos-babie · 5 years ago
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Falling in Love with a Single Mom
Iwaizumi x fem!Reader | Bokuto x fem!Reader | Ushijima x fem!Reader
[ Headcanons/MiniFic ]
Request: Can I please req headcanons for Iwaizumi, Bokuto, and Ushijima falling for a single mom? — anonymous
a/n: this one’s looong but i really enjoyed writing it pLS GIVE ME MORE like anything concerning babies id love that please thank u :’] I HOPE Y’ALL WOULD LIKE THIS ONE :D i’d love to make these a full blown fic if any of yall want that hehe
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❀ aside from the hushed chattering of students waiting for the professor to arrive, the college lecture hall was fairly quiet
❀ that was until the high-pitched cries of a baby ripped through the room
“hey pipe it down!”
“who would even bring a baby to a lecture anyway?”
“can’t you just bring it outside jeez you’re interfering the class”
“class hasn’t even started yet”
❀ iwaizumi was the last one to speak, your classmates’ snarky comments annoying him more than the baby’s crying
❀ he saw you walk out the hall, pushing the stroller with your head low, muttering apologies
❀ letting out a sigh, iwa stood up with the intention of following you outside, but not before he shoots your classmates a threatening glare
❀ he finds you not too far from from the lecture hall, bouncing your 5-month old daughter on your hip as her wailing turned to quiet sobs while she laid her head on your chest
“there there, were you just sleepy?”, iwa doesn’t miss the soft but tired smile gracing your face
“uhh do you need some help with that?”, you jumped at his voice, startled
“oh no, we’re fine! thank you though...uhh..?”
“iwaizumi, i’m iwaizumi hajime, i believe we haven’t met before” he extends his hand for you to shake which you curtly did
“y/n! yeah i believe we haven’t”
❀ since that encounter, iwa would always sit beside you in class and glare at anyone who so much as attempts to make any unnecessary comments
❀ he’d often offer to look after your baby while you took class notes for the both of you
❀ it didn’t take long for iwa to grow fond of your blubbering baby and, of course, you
❀ he noticed how hard you worked; juggling classes, part-time jobs and taking care of your daughter and he admired you for it, so much so that he spent almost every weekend over at your place, insisting on helping you take care of your daughter
“y/n, i don’t want to seem rude but if it’s alright to ask, where’s her dad?”, he’d ask while holding your child, who was curiously pinching and smooshing at his face, as you prepared lunch
it was a question that’s been bugging him for so long, noticing that there was no sign of any other person in your small apartment except for you and your baby
“oh,” you started with a small laugh, “he left when i told him i was pregnant”
the amount of restrain it took iwaizumi to not curse in front of the baby is unthinkable but the bittersweet way you smiled dissipated his anger and he was filled with something he couldn’t quite comprehend
“it’s alright though! we’ve managed to get this far”, there was a wistful pause before you continued, “i’d love it if she grew up with a dad though.”
“then let me” with a voice so steady, unwavering, and as dependable as he was these past few months he continued, “i’ll take care of you.”
he didn’t even let your tears fall as he pulled you in his embrace together with your child, placing a soft kiss on your forehead, 
and for the first time in so long, you’re comforted with the feeling that everything will be fine —and you believed that it will be, as long as he was there
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❀ it was just another run to the grocery store with akaashi, him picking out everything on the list while bokuto sluggishly pushed the cart through the aisles
“akaashi what’s taking you so looooong? i want to go hooooome”
“bokuto-san we wouldn’t be spending so much time here if you regularly shopped instead of calling me for help when you’ve eaten the last bit of food in your house and you have nothing else to eat anymore.”
❀ the tall owl-like man deflated more, if that was even possible, as he followed akaashi around
❀ skimming through the snack aisle, he noticed something was tugging on his shirt, but when he looked down..
“daddy?”
AJDKDAFJHKSD DO I LOOK LIKE--
“uhhh akaashi???”
❀ the toddler clutched at the hem of bokuto’s shirt, tear-stained cheeks puffing out as he pouted
❀ bokuto picked the child up and held him in his arms with a bright smile
“what’s wrong buddy? are you lost? should we help you find mommy?”
“we should probably leave him at the security desk, bokuto-san”
“are you my daddy?”, the toddler asked again, teary eyed, ignoring akaashi’s words
“well do you want me to be your daddy?”, he grinned and the child nodded gleefully 
“bokuto-san, no”
he turned to his junior, tears welling up his eyes, “akaashi, i’m a father!!”
“bOKuTO-sAN” 
❀ the tragedy of akaashi keiji
❀ the rest of grocery shopping went by with bokuto picking out stuff for his “son”
❀ it was all fun and games right before you spotted them
“uhm, excuse me but i think that’s my son”
“mommy!” the child’s eyes lit up as he turned to you
“hi baby, let’s go home you’ve troubled this man enough.”
“mommy i found daddy!!”, he said while hugging around bokuto’s head, earning a chuckle from him
you laughed lightly, turning to the two men, “sorry he has a knack for trying to find a dad during grocery runs”
bokuto and akaashi gave each other a look before the latter spoke, “it’s alright you must’ve been worried, bokuto-san please give back her son”
“but akaashi--”
“give him back :)”
bokuto hesitantly placed your son in your arms, the both of them have matching pouts
your son nuzzled against your shoulder, stifling down his sobs and quietly whispered, “but i really wanted him to be my dad”
“maybe we can meet up some other time again so you and bokuto-san can play?”, you eyed the man pleadingly which earned you a giddy nod from both your child and him
❀ that was how you and bokuto started seeing each other regularly
❀ he’d visit your house every weekend, come with you to pick up your son from kindergarten, take you both out for dinner and even stayed over on some occasions 
❀ your son loves him so much and always calls him “dad/daddy”
❀ bokuto calls him “buddy/kid”
❀ your son would often tease bokuto when he catches him stealing glances at you while you walked around the house, getting chores done
“you like mommy don’t you?”, he’d snicker
“i-- whAT? kid where do you get those ideas from?”
you peered through the doorway of you son’s playroom, “baby do you want some snacks?”
“yes please!” the both of them answered at the same time, bokuto turning beet-red while you just stifle down a laugh and went to prepare their snacks
when bokuto was sure that you were out of earshot, he whispered to your son, “kid do you still want me to be your daddy?”
“yes! yes!! YES!!!”, the little boy bounced on his heels happily 
“okay good because i think i want to marry your mommy”
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“wakatoshi-kun isn’t that y/n-san?”
❀ ushijima grunted as he had his eyes fixed on your form from across the room
❀ it was your high school reunion and even though you both haven’t met in a while, the former volleyball team captain still felt his spine tingling at the sight of you
❀ you’ve always been pretty, pretty enough to catch his eyes and fascinating enough personality-wise to keep his attention on you
❀ though he never spoke of these feelings throughout high school, it never really vanished even when you’re well on your adult years
❀ and seeing you right now, with the same pretty smile but seemingly tired eyes, he can’t help but yearn for you as he did when you were in high school
❀ while walking to the other end of the room to where you were, he thought of anything to try and hit up a conversation with you but he was pulled from his musings the moment you’re standing in front of him, a mere arms-length away
“y/n..”
“oh ushijima-san! long time no see, how hav--”
“mama!”, you were interrupted as your 5 year old child clung to your hips, “mama the scary man’s coming for me!”
“ᶦ ʷᵃˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵗʳʸᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ˢᵃʸ ʰᵉˡˡᵒ“ :’/
“baby don’t be rude that’s just uncle goshiki, go on play with him” you urged your son with a gentle hand on his back
“no! his hair looks weird!!”
❀ rip tsutomu bb
❀ ushijima doesn’t know what to make out of the situation
❀ you have a child? does that mean you were married already? was he too late?
“i didn’t know you got married”
“huh? oh no! i didn’t..”, you were hoping he would get the hint but you remembered that it was ushijima wakatoshi in front of you, so you had to spell it out for him, “i got pregnant shortly after college, his dad left the moment i dropped the news though”
the laugh that came from you was humorless, and that didn’t go unnoticed by ushijima
“would it be alright if i took you out on a date, then?”
❀ with face flushed deep red, you bit the inside of your cheek and nodded, sheepishly squeaking out a quiet “yeah”
❀ you both agreed to meet the next weekend for lunch then take your son on a playhouse while you two catch up
❀ then came the weekend, everything was going well, except for one thing
❀ even at the playhouse, your son didn’t leave your side and instead opted for glaring at ushijima across the table in the parents’ waiting area
“baby it’s rude to glare at people, please go play with the other kids”
“what do you want to do with mama!”, he said pointedly at the mountain of a man 
“talk?”
“what do you want to talk about with her!” 
you couldn’t help but smile at your tiny little bodyguard acting so tough even with a man probably five times his size
“i wanted to know if she would consider marrying me”
at that, you whipped your head to look at the man across the table who was casually talking to your son, the prospect of marrying someone who you secretly pined for for all of high school sending a wave of hot blush on your face
“why?”, your son continued with the questions
“because i would like to marry her”
“why?”
“because i love her”
“since when??”
your face grew incredibly warmer every second that passed by but his answer dealt the finishing blow and you thought your heart would burst
“since all of high school”
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