#Glenn and maggie as leaders of Hilltop would have been amazing!

[deadsaigon]

Kindred spirits || Carl Grimes

Summary: In a parallel universe where Carl is still alive, he experiences the events during the 9x15.

Warnings: Death, and yeah, a lot of cuteness and sadness. All at the same time.

Note: The flashbacks are in italics. Gif is not mine.

A/n: I've been working on this for a while, I hope you like it. Honoring my baby Carl, he deserved to live longer in the series. Requests are open. Sorry if it's too long, but I think is worthy to read. Hope you like it.

"I stand before you today at the start of a new tomorrow. A tomorrow made possible by the sacrifice of many over the years. Among them a man whose mission was to build community and strengthen the bonds between us. A man who had to destroy the very thing that connected us in order to save us. It took us far too long to fulfill the promise of what Rick Grimes and his son Carl, who is here with us, envisioned" King Ezekiel stoped his speech, due to the ovation that the people started when they heard the name of 'Carl', Carl was a living legend. He and Amunet were between the crowd. One of his arms was around her waist and her head was over his shoulder. When the people around them began to applaud him, Carl blushed a little and he thanked them with his hand. "The same promise, Paul Rovia, better known the most as Jesus believed in when he brought us all together those many years ago. We've always been bound to each other. We always will be. We fought our way back to each other. We've grown. The crossing over the river may be gone, but we rebuilt a bridge nonetheless. Today is the proof that we can unite, not against a common enemy but for the common good. So eat, drink, trade and be merry, cause we got a lot of lost time to make up for" Ezekiel ended his speech.

Jerry stood in front of all the people. "That the first Annual Inter-community Reunification Fair begins" He said.

"Jerry, we changed that" Ezekiel told him with a little smile. All the people laughed. "Carl, could you make me the honor to say some words and inaugurate this?" The King asked him. "Amunet, you can pass, too". Carl blushed again, but Amunet encouraged him. They hold hands and passed to the front.

"Mmm, hello" He said, he was so nervous but Amunet pressed harder his hand, trying to calm him down. "I would like to thank you all, for not abandoning my dad's dream, the dream he worked so hard for so many years, the dream he gave his life for: the dream of being a big and unite family." Carl reached the cage of the white doves. "That the Fair or the New Beginning begins" He finished by setting free the doves. The people started to applaud again, and yeah, Carl blushed, once more.

Once the people got disperse, Carl and Amunet started walking around the Fair. "You're so cute when you blush" Amunet said.

"Stop it" He answered.

"It's the true, you are adorable" She laughed. Carl take her from her waist, pulled her close to him and kissed her.

"I love you, Amunet"

"I love you too, Carl" Amunet and Carl met each other since the beginning of the chaos. They were friends in the Atlanta camp, in the Hershel's farm, in the prison, and they started dating when they arrived to Alexandria. They had been a couple for 8 years approximately. They had always support each other.

.

"Alexandria is granted to give asylum to Lydia" Carl spoke. The leaders of each community, Tara for The Hilltop, Carol and Ezekiel for The Kingdom, Rachel for OceanSide, and Carl and Michonne for Alexandria, were discussing about the fact of Lydia forming part of the communities now. Henry, Lydia, Judith and Amunet were also there.

"If her mother retaliates it's gonna be against Hilltop, not Alexandria" Tara said, she didn't seem to be happy with Lydia being around.

"Tara, remember when you stood in the prison with the Governor? You were our enemy. But Glenn saved you, and brought you with him. At the start, people didn't trust you, obviously, but we gave you the doubt benefit, and look how it come, now, you become part of the family" Carl told her and Tara seemed to understand what he was trying to say. "That's why we propose a mutual protection pact. If her mother wants to attack Hilltop, it won't be easy, cause she is going to have to fight the four communities. They mess with one, they mess with us all" Carl continued talking. Everyone in the place agreed.

"How do we seal it? A blood pact? Do we cross the pinkies?" Tara said making everyone laugh.

"I just got an idea" King Ezekiel said and searched for something. Finally, he found the agreement that Rick had made so many years ago.

"How do you have it?" Michonne asked.

"Maybe I took some things when I left Alexandria" Tara answered.

The first who signed it were King Ezekiel and Queen Carol, then Tara, it continued Rachel, and then, it was the turn of Alexandria. Michonne took the pen in her hand, but extended it to Carl. "It should be the Rick Grimes son" She said. Carl took the pen and signed the paper with 'Carl Grimes'. It was it, the mutual protection pact was signed.

Amunet and Judith stood next to Carl. "Carl you did it amazing!" The little girl said and give him a hug.

"Thank you Judith" Carl took the body of his little sister in his arms and carried her.

"Thank you, Carl. Thank you so much" Lydia said.

"It's okay Lydia, I couldn't let you alone. You are one of us now. Also, Henry needs you" Lydia and Henry laughed. When Henry went for Lydia, after Alpha took her from The Hilltop, Carl, Daryl and Connie searched for him. Daryl and Connie didn't understand Henry, but Carl did.

.

"So, that's how you make CPR to a person" Enid finished her explication. "Who wants to pass and do it with the doll?" Judith raised her hand. "Okay, Judith, let's see how you do it" The doctor said her. Judith stood near to the doll, and started to do the steps that Enid had explained before. "You did it very well, congratulations! Take a lollipop. That's all, thank you"

The people dispersed, and Carl walked to Enid. "Hey, my favourite cowboy is here" They hugged each other. "How are you doing? Did Amunet came?"

"Cool, I'm pretty cool. Yeah, Amunet is here too. How are you Enid? Or I should say 'doctor Enid'?"

"I always call you 'cowboy', you have the right to call me 'doctor'" Both laughed.

"I'm happy to see you, Enid"

"I'm happy too, Carl. It's been a long since the last time we see each other"

"But we saw us in The Hilltop, when Rosita and Eugene got in trouble"

"I know, but I refer, to see each other like this, like family, not like two strangers. I'm sorry for never had get back to Alexandria, but Maggie needed me here"

"And I'm sorry for never have go to Hilltop to visit you, but you know what happened with Michonne, I needed to stay in Alexandria taking care of Judith and Rick Jr."

"Maybe we can be the same best friends that we were"

"I'd love that"

"It's gonna be a little different, I'm not the same depressive Enid that used to hate everything and used to sneak out the walls"

"That Enid was pretty cool, tho"

"It was cool for the emo Carl you were in that time. The antique Enid doesn't fit with the famous leader Carl you are now. But the doctor Enid, she fits perfect"

"I'm not famous" "Of course you are. You know that the adults tell about 'the Grimes' to their children?"

"I've heard about that, but I didn't think it was true"

"It's true, Carl, everybody knows your story, and I'm so proud of you"

"Heeeeyyyy, you're talking without me? I feel betrayed" Amunet got into the conversation.

"We were about to look for you" Carl said.

"I'm gonna pretend that I believe you. Enid! I've missed you so much" Both women hugged each other.

"I've missed you too. What have you being doing in Alexandria?"

"I'm in charge of the hydraulic system that provides water to the community. Also, I'm in charge of the maintenance of the solar panels, and the power generators. If they don't work, I fix them" Amunet said proudly.

"Woah, did Eugene teach you that?" "Who more could it be? The dude is a freaking genie. I'm glad to say that Siddiq did a good job training you, doctor"

"Can you believe it? Six year ago we were only teenagers trying to survive in the end of the world, and now, look at us" Enid said.

"This shit is crazy"

"Language, Carl!"

"Judith, what are you doing here?"

"I want a caramel apple, can we get one?"

"Okay, come on. Ladies, I'll see you later" Carl kissed Amunet before going with his sister.

.

"You don't have to go. They can patrol the surroundings by themselves" Amunet said to Carl.

"It's okay. I'm gonna be fine. Daryl is going too"

"Yeah girl, I'll take care of him, even if he doesn't need it anymore" Daryl said.

"You should reconsider it" Michonne said.

"Mom, you are worrying to much"

"Mom is right, Carl, it's too dangerous. What if something bad happens to you?" Judith said sadly.

Carl kneeled to be at the same height that his sister and put his hands in her cheeks. "Judy, do you trust me?" The girl nodded. "I'm going out there because I want to help. I can't stay here pretending that everything is fine with those crazy people with skin masks around. I want to guarantee the safety of you three" He said to Amunet, Michonne and Judith. "I have to do it"

Judith jumped into Carl's arms. "Just be careful Carl, please" The girl said.

"Be prudent. And do what Daryl says, Okay?" Michonne told.

"The last time I listen to Daryl I was fifteen, but sure, I will" Michonne, Carl and Judith involved themselves into a warm hugged.

Amunet was the only left to say goodbye. "Promise me you'll get back"

"I do. I always get back to you"

"I can't loose you, don't make me get through that"

"You are not going to loose me. I'll be back" The couple shared a kiss full of love and hope.

"I love you so much" Amunet said.

"I love you more. I'll see you later. Don't forget that you have my heart and that you are the fucking love of my life"

"Carl! Language"

"Sorry, Judith"

"It's time to go" Daryl said.

"Daryl, please, protect him"

"I will. But you have to understand that he's not a kid anymore Michonne" The man said before the group conformed by Magna, Yumiko, Carol, Kal, Marco, Dianne, he and Carl left.

.

"What the hell is that?" Carl asked.

The group had meet with DJ, Alek and Ozzy. They had found a destroyed carriage and dead horses. "We don't know. The bodies that were in here are missing. They must had been going to the Fair" DJ said.

"Do you think they were them?" Carl asked again, making reference to the people with masks.

"I'd like to say no, but you are not dumb"

"We should separate. Daryl, Carol, Yumiko and I will follow the rast of the bodies, and try to find them. Magna, Dianne, Marco and Kal, get to The Hilltop, and make sure everything is okay. DJ, Ozzy, Alek, keep patrolling around here. Let's go" Carl ordered.

When Carl's group moved, Carol and Daryl kept watching at Carl. "What's wrong guys?" He asked them.

"You did it pretty well in there. Being a leader is your thing, kid" Carol said with a little smile.

"Your dad would be so proud" Daryl told.

"Please, stop. People have been saying stuff like that all day"

"You shouldn't be ashamed of that, Carl" Yumiko said.

"Can we just keep going?" Carl ended the conversation.

.

The day turned into night. Carl's group was still searching for the bodies of the people from the carriage. Suddenly, some walkers appeared in their way. "Take care, watch their hands, they could have knives" Carl said.

Walkers grew in number, and then, a body of 2 meters of height appeared in front of them. Carl, Yumiko, Carol and Dary prepared their weapons. "Drop them. I won't ask twice" Beta ordered. The four obeyed him, and the tall guy directed his voice at Carl. "You just had to give me the girl. Now that deal is over. You are coming with us"

Beta took them to the Whisperer camp, and tied them to a tree. Then, Alpha appeared. "You, one-eyed, come" She said and unleashed Carl. Ponting at him with a gun, she took him to a pit, where a big horde of walkers was in. "I hope I'm wrong saying that you can't take care of my daughter" Alpha said.

"You are. We will be the family that Lydia never had. She is better with us" Carl answered her.

"You and your people are alive because I let you live. But I'm done with you all. If you cross into my land, once more, I'll guide the horde to the communities. I've mark the border to the North, you see it as you leave. Now, reunite with the rest of your group and get away from my sight".

.

After Alpha let go Carl, Daryl, Carol and Yumiko, they found Siddiq roofed to a tree, he had some injuries and the eyes bended.

"Siddiq! What are you doing here?" Carl asked him.

Siddiq wasn't able to answer him, so Carl helped him to get up and to keep walking.

During the way back home, they saw it, they saw the final warning that Alpha was talking about: some heads in pikes, marking the border of the Whisperers' lands.

Ten heads. Ten reanimated heads. Ten reanimated heads of people they loved and cared about. Ten people that were gone. Ten people that had died in a horrible way.

Once Yumiko, Daryl, Carol, Siddiq and Carl were close enough to the heads, they could finally saw who they were. And that only disturbed them more.

First head.

Ozzy.

Ozzy was the leader of the Highway men. He was working with his men to get to chance to watch a movie, and he didn't was capable to do that.

Ozzy was working only a few hours, and now, his head was the first of ten.

Second head.

Alek.

Alek was the right hand of Ozzy, and a member of the Highway men.

He was working with Ozzy for a benefit for him and their people only a few hours ago, and now, his head was the second of ten.

Third head.

DJ.

DJ was a reformed Savior that rebuilt his life six years ago when he redeemed himself and took the invitation of living in Alexandria. Since then, he had shown his effort by making sure that the surroundings of the community were safe. And Carl appreciated that.

Carl felt sorry seeing his head, cause he had live and worked with him for a long time. DJ was the proof that a person can actually change for good.

DJ was talking with Carl about his concern about the possibility of the Whisperers were killing people only a few hours ago, and now, his head was the third of ten.

Fourth head.

Frankie.

"Hey, Nabila, have you seen Frankie?" Eugene asked to the woman. He and Frankie's daughter were looking for her, there had been a long time since the last time they had saw her.

But Nabila hadn't seen her, cause Frankie wasn't in the fair anymore.

Frankie used to be one of Negan's wives. After the Saviors' defeat, she was accepted in Alexandria, where she adopted a girl and became in a great mom.

Carl felt sorry too. Judith sometimes used to play with Frankie's daughter and some others kids, and Frankie had always watch them. Frankie had take care of Judith on several occasions and he was thankful for that.

She was hugging her daughter and enjoying the fair only a few hours ago, and now, her head was the fourth of ten.

Fifth head.

Tammy Rose.

"Have you seen Tammy?" Earl asked Connie and Kelly, with his son in his arms.

Kelly repeated the question with sign language, so Connie could understand.

The answer was no. The sisters hadn't seen her, Tammy wasn't near.

Tammy was an old lady that lived in Hilltop with his husband Earl. They had lost his son Ken six years ago. But life had give them happiness again with the arrived of a baby that Connie had rescue from The Whisperers.

Tammy was talking with Earl about how they should name their son only a few hours ago, and now, her head was the fifth of ten.

Sixth head.

Rodney

Rodney was a teenager that lived in Hilltop. He was trying to have a normal teenager life.

He was hanging around with his friends only a few hours ago, and now, his head was the sixth of ten.

Seventh head.

Addy.

Addy was other teenager from Hilltop. She had worries about the walkers, but also, she had some teenager worries, like, trying to make the guy you like to like you.

She was talking with Henry only a few hours ago, and now, her head was the seventh of ten.

Eighth head.

Enid.

"It feels so sweet" Alden and Luke were singing on the stage. They had a large audience, but still, Alden noticed that someone was missing. Someone special. Had she forgotten? of course not. she was eager to see her boyfriend sing and be able to make fun of it. If Enid wasn't there, it was because she wasn't in this world either.

Enid was a resident of Alexandria when Carl met her. She was mysterious and mature, things that made Carl to got interested in her, an also, to liked her. Both had a realistic perspective of the world, and they became best friends cause of that.

Now, Enid was a doctor. She had something worth to work for. She was an important member of her community. She was living the happy life that she always had deserved.

When Carl saw her, something cracked inside of him, his heart for sure. He couldn't deal with the fact of seeing his best friend's head on a pike. So, a tear fell down his cheek.

"No" He mumbled. "Not you".

Carl was being Siddiq's support, but at that moment, the roles got changed. Carl's legs shaked like he was about to fall. " It's okay, Carl, it's okay. Stay with me, please" Siddiq said.

"Hey, my favourite cowboy is here"

"I always call you 'cowboy', you have the right to call me 'doctor'"

"I know, but I refer, to see each other like this, like family, not like two strangers. I'm sorry for never had get back to Alexandria, but Maggie needed me here"

"Maybe we can be the same best friends that we were"

"It's true, Carl, everybody knows your story, and I'm so proud of you"

Memories of her didn't leave his mind. Memories of Enid being happy. Memories of his best friend for all life.

He remembered the first time she saw her, on that abandoned house at the entrance of Alexandria. He remembered the times that he followed in the woods and lost her from his sight. He remembered when they used to sneak out the walls and go into the woods to read comics. He remembered all the times that she gave him advices about his relationship. He remembered when they skated in their way to Hilltop. He remembered a lot of things that they could never do again.

He had lost his best friend and he couldn't get her back.

Enid was teaching people how to do CPR only a few hours ago. Enid was eating caramel apples with his boyfriend only a few hours ago. Enid was getting back the lost time with her best friend only a few hours ago, and now, her head was the eighth of ten.

Ninth head.

Tara.

"If you happen to see her, could you tell her I need to speak with her?" Gabriel asked Eugene.

"I haven't seen her in a while, but she must be around" Eugene said. Sadly, he was wrong. Tara wasn't around, not anymore.

When the prison got under attack, Tara was in the Governor's army, she was with the guy who killed Hershel, she was the enemy. But things changed. Glenn needed her help, and, Tara needed to help Glenn, she needed to help him so the guilt she was feeling could disappear. It was when she was ready to die in that tunnel full of walkers, so Glenn could live and continue searching for his wife, that Tara stop being the enemy, and became family.

She was Hilltop's leader since Jesus' death, she was capable to lead, and she was ready to. She was supposed to be a great leader.

Carol, Daryl and Carl looked at her head with melancholy. They had survived with her during a lot time, and now, that girl with an incredible sense of humor that used to brigthen their days didn't exist anymore. She had been reduced to a sad walker.

"If her mother retaliates it's gonna be against Hilltop, not Alexandria"

That thought arrived at Carl's mind. Tara was protecting her people, but she must have protected herself.

Tara was thinking about what was the the best for her people only a few hours ago. Tara was signing the mutual protection pact only a few hours ago. Tara was being the leader that the Hilltop needed only a few hours ago, and now, her head was the ninth of ten.

Tenth head.

"Where could she be? She's not the kind of people that disappear without telling someone where she is going" Rosita told to Eugene.

"Maybe she wanted to be alone. She wasn't happy about Carl going out there. Maybe she wanted to distract herself"

"Eugene, she wouldn't do that. If she didn't tell anyone what she was going to do, it's because she is going out there and look for him. She care so much about him"

"In that case, I hope she is still in here. She can get hurt if she goes alone"

"Come on, we need to find her. Carl is going to kill us if something happens to her" Rosita commanded.

Even though Rosita and Eugene went to look for her as soon as they realized that she was missing, someone else had already found her.

And then, Carl saw the last pike. With his eye wide open, he unconsciously left Siddiq alone. He dropped the Colt Phyton that he had in his hand. He couldn't take his sight apart from the head. He approached to the pike a little more, he was wishing that his sight was playing tricks on him, because in case it wasn't, and the head was of the person he was thinking it was, he couldn't stand that.

He was about to get close enough when Daryl got between his sight and the pike. "No! No!" Daryl shouted, while he was holding Carl of his shoulders. "Don't look at it. Don't look"

Carl's legs shaked again, but this time, he fell on his knees. Daryl got on his knees too, to comfort him. "Kid, please, don't look at her, don't do that".

Carl's cry was making him look so vulnerable and so broken that even Yumiko felt the need of hug him. But nobody dare to do it, except of Daryl, who was already with him.

Daryl was speaking to him, but he wasn't listening. His heart was so broken and he was so submerge on his memories that everything around him didn't seem to be important.

Inside of Carl, it was like his mind wanted to live again all the moments that he had shared with her, like he needed to remember everything he had done with Amunet.

Cause, yeah, the head that was on that pike was hers.

"Hi, my name is Carl, what's yours?"

"I'm Amunet" The little girl answered. They were in the outsides of Atlanta, in a camp.

"Do you wanna play with me and Sophia? She wants to meet you"

"I would like to"

"Great! Follow me" Carl took her hand and guided her to where the other girl was. They played all morning and all afternoon, that when the sun hid, the three kids could barely stay awake.

The memorie of the first time they talked arrived. Carl felt like he was just being stabbed in the heart, so he let out a heartbreaking scream, toring apart his lungs.

"Carl! You woke up" Amunet had been waiting to him to wake up since Hershel operated him. She was happy that his friend was okay.

"Hello, Amunet. How's Sophia?"

"We hadn't find her" She said, sadly. But at least you are okay, I've missed you"

"We'll find her. I promise. I've missed you too. My dad gave my his hat, cool, no?"

"Yeah, now you are a cowboy"

"You can try it on, it must look great on you" Carl put the hat on Amunet's head. Both kids were laughing, but Carl started to cough.

"Carl, are you okay?" The girl asked worried.

"Yes, I shouldn't laugh too much, it hurts"

"You should get some sleep. Hershel said you're still weak"

"Could you stay here? I don't like to be alone"

"Sure"

The boy made a space in the bed, so Amunet could lay on it. "Sweet dreams, Amunet"

"Sweet dreams, Carl"

The sound of Carl's sobs were mixing with the sound of the moans that Amunet's head was doing. It was a brutal and depressive mix.

When a walker Sophia appeared out of the barn, Carl and Amunet started crying. They hugged each other and stayed like that for a while. After Rick put her down, and the adults began to move the bodies, they were the only ones that were near the barn.

"I thought we would find her" Carl said.

"I did it too. I'm gonna miss her" Amunet started to cry again.

"Hey, don't worry, we are you and me now, okay? You and me, together"

"Forever?"

"Forever"

Carl scratched the dirt under his hands, like the only way he had to express his anger. He could felt the Daryl's arms around him, but he didn't feel comforted.

"My mom's dead, Amunet. I killed her"

"You did what you needed to do. You couldn't just leave her, you know what would've happen"

"I'm a killer. The last moments I had with her I acted like an idiot"

"You were a great son, your mom loved you. And you are going to be a great big brother. Big brother Carl, remember that?"

"Can you give me a hug?"

"You don't have to ask for one"

"We should put them down" Daryl said, and his arms left Carl's body.

"Left Enid and Amunet, please, I'll do it" Carl said, standing up. Daryl moved his head in approval.

Carl got in the wagon that Garet told him. It was dark, but he could see that there were more people in there. A familiar silhouette appeared.

"Carl?" A voice that he knew perfectly asked.

"Amunet!" He said with joy. Both kids got together in a lovely hug, with tears in their cheeks.

"I thought you were dead" Amunet said crying. "When we were running out of the prison and you covered me from the walkers cause I didn't have ammo, I lost you, I looked for you but you weren't there"

"I had to get away from other way. Sorry"

"Don't you ever left me like that again"

"I won't"

Carl finally stood up, with his hands still shaking, he took the knife that Amunet had got for him in one of the running supplies that she did in Alexandria.

Carl opened his eye for the first time since he had get shot by Ron. The first thing he saw after had defeat the death again was Amunet, who was sat next to him. Amunet was submerged in her mind, she didn't notice that he was awake.

"Hi" He said.

Amunet made eye contact with him, and she smiled. She was showing him that beautiful smile and seeing him with those precious grey eyes that had him hypnotized.

She didn't said anything. She just stood up, got near to Carl and kissed him on his lips. "Thanks for wake up. I was losing my mind"

"I just lost mine with that kiss" He joked.

"I should've done that a long time ago"

Carl reached Enid's head.

"Why did you come to get me to The Hilltop?" Enid asked.

"I was worried about you. You didn't take any knife with you"

"I can take care of myself"

"I know, but..."

"But what?"

"You are my best friend. I needed to know you were going to be fine"

Enid hugged Carl and talked to his ear. "And you are my best friend, too. Thank you for made me company"

He raised the knife and buried it in the skull.

"I'm so sorry, Enid. Go to rest, it's time"

The head stopped moaning and Carl felt a little relieved. His best friend was resting now, in a place without suffer, that was what she deserved.

What Carl did next wasn't easy. He was in front of Amunet's head. It was the only left to put down. Everyone was waiting for Cark to do it.

Carl raised his hand, but this was shaking a lot that he dropped the knife.

"Carl, I could do it" Daryl said.

"I have to do this, please" Carl took again the knife. He looked at the walker's eyes. They were grey, but not the beautiful grey that Amunet's eyes used to be. And that was because that walker wasn't Amunet anymore, Amunet wasn't a sad head, Amunet was a shimmering start that guided Carl's life during so many years, and that wasn't going to change. A last memory appeared before Carl had put down the walker.

Amunet and Carl hugged after Carl almost got killed by Lucille. "I love you, Carl, I love you so much"

"I love you too, Amunet. I love you too" That was the first time they said 'I love you' to each other.

"I will always love you, Amunet" Carl said before he buried the knife, making the moans stopped. Amunet was now a free soul. Amunet loved Carl until the ended of her life. Amunet died thinking about Carl. And Amunet would always be with Carl.

Amunet and Carl were kindred spirits.

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

What do you think of how TWD has become? Personally I recently just stopped watching since Lauren left. Before that every episode became a chore to watch and then it just became a show I analytically judged and cringed through. And I’m really not one to stop watching shows after years of being loyal. So I was wondering if it’s the same for you. And if so what it who or what is still keeping you to watch.

I literally couldn’t have received this ask at a better time - I’ve spent the last half an hour or so browsing through Reddit to hear people’s opinions on why they feel TWD has declined in quality and what the best/worst seasons are (yes, I know, I’m sad haha). To answer your question about what I think of what TWD has become - I’m very disappointed with what it’s become and I feel exactly the same way you do. There are so many amazing elements of TWD that make it one of my favourite shows and I will always love and re-watch the earlier seasons, but it’s gotten so bad. Like, so so so so so bad. I haven’t watched the show since the end of season 8 but I’ve still seen snippets of season 9 from the TWD blogs I follow and have no desire to pick it up again. I’m like you and I find it very difficult to give up on shows that I’ve loved and followed for so long, but it gets to a point where you have to prioritise enjoyment above loyalty and it got to a point where I felt the same as you and that watching new episodes was a chore. When it gets to that point with any show, it’s time to quit, because watching shows should be an enjoyable experience, not something you’re forcing yourself to do and that’s putting you in a bad mood afterwards (which TWD often did for me before I stopped watching). 

I began to lose interest in the show during season 6 with the introduction of the Hilltop and the Saviors. Personally, I’m not a fan of the focus on human conflict and community vs community, this is a zombie show and zombies should be the main conflict not petty squabbling between humans (plus, we already had that plot in seasons 3 and 4 with the Governor). I had no interest in Negan and the build-up to his reveal was so dragged out that I cared even less by the time we finally met him. The circumstances of Glenn and Abraham’s deaths angered me beyond belief (like it did for many fans), and losing Glenn was a massive hit for me. At that point, I considered stopping watching, but I was willing to give the show the benefit of the doubt and committed to watching season 7, which was undoubtedly the worst season of the show by a mile. Nothing even happens in season 7, it’s all filler (what even is that god awful episode with Daryl in the cell with that annoying song that replays constantly?), there’s too much focus on Negan, the core croup are divided for a majority of the season (again) and 99% of the characters are utterly detestable. Honestly, the only reason I kept watching at that point was because of Rick and Carl. When Carl was killed in season 8 I was sure that was the point at which I would stop watching, because I’d only been holding on by a thread for two seasons. Again, I forced myself to watch until the end of the season partly out of curiosity as to how they would handle the aftermath of Carl’s death and what would happen to Rick, but mostly because I was clinging to that teeny tiny little chance that Carl wasn’t really dead and it was all some cruel trick. When I realised that Carl really was dead (and saw the shit-fest that the rest of season 8 was) I just had nothing left to watch for. 

TWD is a dark and depressing show and a big problem that has led it to the place it is today (aside from atrocious pacing, poor writing decisions and a bad format) is that it systematically kills off all of its characters who represent hope in a universe that is hopeless. Sophia, Hershel, T-Dog, Beth, Glenn and Carl all symbolised optimism and hope in some way because of what they represented and/or had overcome. Carl’s death, in particular, was such a huge blow for me, that I couldn’t recover from it. For me personally, Rick and Carl are the foundation of TWD and without them it simply doesn’t work. That father/son relationship is at the heart of the show - Rick is the main protagonist, he is the hero who is responsible for rebuilding a new world and his primary motivator (excluding Lori) is his son. When you take Carl away you take away the heart of the show and the show no longer makes sense without him. Fans watched Carl grow from a young boy, witnessed all the traumas he suffered through and regardless of whether we liked him or not, we were invested in his well-being and rooting for him. As a child, he was the symbol of innocence, of the future and he was the one character we wanted to see still standing at the end, we wanted him to be the one that beat the world, just like Lori said on her deathbed. Without Carl who’s going to take Rick’s place? The whole point of the show was for Carl to grow into a strong, brave leader who could one day step into Rick’s shoes and continue down the same path. Rick’s character no longer makes sense without Carl, and as endearing as his relationships with Judith and Michonne are, they are no substitute for his relationship with Carl. 

So, if Carl had survived perhaps I’d still be watching the show right now (I might’ve even been able to deal with Rick’s absence with Carl still around, although I would’ve found it very difficult), but I’m doubtful that even Carl and the Rick/Carl relationship could’ve kept me watching since I grew to dislike every other character and aspect of the show before I stopped watching. All of my favourite characters have been killed - Lori, Shane, Beth, Hershel, Glenn and Carl - and the new characters that have been introduced are not adequate replacements at all. Even the well-liked Jesus is a bland character that I have no emotional investment in at all. As for the other long-standing characters like Daryl, Michonne, Maggie, Carol, Rosita and Tara, I don’t like any of them anymore because of the way they’ve been written. That’s a huge problem, because TWD is a character-centric show and the characters are what keep people invested. That’s particularly the case for me, because I’m a very character-orientated person. Like, I’ll commit to watching shows I don’t even like just because I love the character(s) (e.g. The Punisher). 

Putting the characters aside, there’s just no plot there anymore either. Granted, I haven’t watched season 9 so I don’t know whether it’s improved (although I’m assuming it hasn’t if you’ve recently stopped watching), but there’s been no real story except the Rick vs Negan plot for the last 3 seasons and it’s so dull. I know Negan is important in the comics and people would’ve rioted if he hadn’t been introduced on the show, but I just think that his entire arc has ruined the show. People are seduced by his character because of Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s performance (and their love for comic!Negan), but the character has no substance and is a poor antagonist in comparison to the legendary Governor. Also, where the hell is the story even headed now? I don’t know and at this point, I’m pretty sure the writers don’t know either. There’s no coherence or sense of vision. That’s largely because it’s such a popular show that it has been given the luxury of having as many seasons as it pleases, but it’s also a curse because it means that the writers hash out episodes and seasons with no end in sight, because they don’t know when it’ll end. TWD is supposed to be unpredictable, so no one could ever guess what the ending would be, but back in the day I could at least picture a feasible ending in my mind (which involved Carl, obviously) but now I can’t, because what’s the end goal? If Carl is gone, it’s not going to end with him in the “new world” continuing Rick’s legacy (which is what I always imagined it to be) and they’ve already found a safe haven and established a community built on friendship and cooperation with other communities which was another primary goal for the characters, so what else is left? What is a fitting ending for the story given the direction it has taken now? On any other post-apocalyptic show the basic goal would be to establish a cause and cure for the disease to attempt to save the world, but we’ve already been explicitly told TWD isn’t a show about finding a cure (which makes no sense, because honestly, who would just accept it and go ‘okay, this is the way things are now’?), so it makes no sense. It’s very difficult (if not impossible) for people to continue watching a show like this where all of the characters they become invested in eventually die and there is no sense of purpose or meaning. It’s an apocalyptic world, meaning is all anybody is really looking for, we don’t really care about the survival aspect (although that’s interesting), we want to see them find a new purpose and place in a world that has been ripped apart at the seams.

Sorry, I’ve gone off on a complete rant about this, I just have a lot of feelings about TWD. It makes me sad what’s happened to what was a once great show and it’s all because the people involved are so greedy. They don’t care about telling a brilliant story, they care about dragging it out for as long as possible to bleed every last dollar from it that they can. I’ll still most likely watch the last ever episode of the show, because I always do with shows that I’ve been a long-term fan of but stopped watching (such as TVD), just to get some closure. Also, since I love Rick’s character so much (and based on what I’ve seen he’s not dead so will eventually return to the show), I won’t be satisfied until I see how his story ends (and it better be a damn happy ending, because there’s been enough heartbreak on this show lmao). 

Thanks for your ask :)

[deckerstar2917]

Here is part 2 of that story.

Calm Before

As they go to Hilltop, Lily have baby Siberian Husky in her knapsack, it felt really sad, because it just lose it mother to those stupid morons half demons, and half zombies. She can’t help herself, but she feels this connection toward it. Rick walked toward her, and told her, “It’s been a long time since we hung out last time before”. She told him, “Yeah, it is, and this puppy feels really sad, what can I do, obviously, I can’t just left it alone out in this world”. Rick told her, “You see this man over there, his name is Daryl Dixon, and he lost his brother, Merle, he was the one who lost his hand, and he died, but reanimation, and Daryl have to kill him”.

Far away from Rick, and Lily is this someone who loses everything to half demons, and half zombies apocalypse long time ago. He shut everyone out, expect those people who he trusts. He usually uses a vest with wings on it, but one of those is gone, and he usually rides his motorcycle, which used to be his brother’s. His name is Daryl Dixon, and he looks back to find his best friend, Rick talk to tough, strong young woman. He can’t help himself, but he stared at her, and he kept walking.

Dennis, and Mac were very excited to be rescued, so they can plot a revenge on those people, because in secret, they’re actually the whisperers. They’re the sons of the leader, and second-in-command. Mac is the son of the leader of his group, Whisperer, Alpha, and he also has a younger sister, and last time he actually remember is that someone accident take him away from their family. His best friend, Dennis also is the son of his group, Whisperer, but this time, he’s the son of Beta.

Taylor was walking with Dean’s younger brother, Sam Winchester. She told him, “thanks for coming by, and saving me”. He told her, “it’s weird, I know, but I have this obsession whatever Dean mentions everything about you, I can’t help myself, but loves you”. She just stood there, looking at him, and told him, “I try to let my older sister know, but she told me that we’re not ready for a relationship yet”. Sam told Taylor, “maybe she’s afraid to trust anyone, expect my older brother, and his best friend, because they’re trio”! She told him, “so true yet, but any people that I placed her with for her date, she hates them from the moment they come in”. He told her, “just give her time, don’t let her pull you down”. She nods, as they walk toward Hilltop, as Dean drive his baby car.

Lily slowly walk toward Hilltop, as she realized that she needs to let her baby puppy run around when they’ll arrive there. She was very upset when she has to watch it mother being eaten, but her body has not been found yet. As they arrive there at Hilltop, Lily pick baby Siberian Husky up from her knapsack, and put it down on the ground, and it kept stay by her side. Her heart has gone so soft for this baby puppy, as she makes eye contact with the man who rescues her, Daryl. She knew that he refused to talk to anyone, so she needs to figure out how to get him out of his shell.

Each person who lead three different communities, and we already know that Rick Grimes is the one who lead Alexandria, but what about two other people who lead two different communities, and that communities is called Hilltop, and Kingdom.

This someone who lead Hilltop community is the daughter of a farmer, who is her father, and she used to have a younger sister, but unfortunately, she lost her, and her father also. She lost her father to brutal villain named Governor, who cut his head off with a woman named Michonne’s Katana. She was married to a man named Glenn Rhee, but she also lost him to brutal villain named Negan, but she has a son, and she named him Hershel Jr. Her name was Maggie Greene, now Maggie Rhee. She was best friend to Rick Grimes.

This someone who lead Kingdom community is the “king” of that community. They’re not have any appearance to Negan, and his group of people called “Saviors”, until Rick Grimes convince him to join him in the fight against Negan for the sake of their communities. He used to have tough tiger named Shiva, but he lost her to herd of half demons, and half zombies. He have a second-in-command man named Jerry, and he loves food. Jerry is very funny, and friendly man, who admit him as their king. This someone’s name is King Ezekiel, and he has fallen in love with a woman named Carol Peletier. He is a good ally to Rick Grimes.

As they’re at Hilltop, Dean gets out of his baby car, and he walked toward his best friend, and start their conversion…

Dean: Hey Rick, do you trust Lily’s group to stay here at Hilltop?

Rick: Some of those yeah, but two people,

I have a funny feeling about that.

I have a feeling that they’re up to something really terrible.

Dean: isn't they’re Mac, and Dennis? I have the same feeling about this, Rick.

Rick: Yeah, they’re, and I can trust you to look after your brother, because he’s new to this half demons, and half zombies world. He has to take things slowly with Lily’s younger sister, Taylor, and he can’t just rush out of that.

Dean: and I can trust you to look after Lily, because she just have to watch puppy’s mother being eaten, and she might be broken after that happened.

Rick: Yeah, and her heart has gone very soft for puppy, because it doesn't want to walk around this area.

They’re hug each other out, just like brothers, because the first time they’re met, Dean put his holy water on Rick’s face by accident. He gets really angry, and almost kill him with his colt. After that, they’re just hang out, until Lily shows up. When she did show up, she doesn’t trust them yet, until she dare Dean to show her that he’s human, and not demons. He used his knife to cut his hand to show her prove that he’s human, and not one of demons.

Lily tried to encourage her puppy to walk around this area, because she wants it to get used to this new area. But it still stay by her side, and she doesn't understand why, just as Daryl take a walk toward her, and she pulls her notepad, and pencil out of her knapsack, and start to write. It said this: “any ideas why this puppy would stay by my side?” She shows it to him, and he just read it, and he makes a sound, just to call someone or something. She could not believe her eyes out, and there is this four-legged adult-size male white Alaskan Malamute mixed with Husky come, streak toward them. She just stood there, staring at it, just as baby Siberian Husky mixed with German Shepherd approached it, and Alaskan Malamute quickly accept it right away. It melt her heart right away…

Daryl point to Lily’s notepad, and she gives it to him. He started to write on it, and it said:

Daryl: I found this dog two years ago, as it was approaching me, injured, and I assume right away that it was from half demon, and half zombie’s bit, but I was wrong. I treat it’s injured right away, and decided to adopt it.

Lily: Wow, you actually save its life, and you just give it a second chance at surviving. I don't know about this puppy, and I was afraid that it will die...I was author just before this apocalypse happened.

Daryl: Don’t worry, for that my dog will protect yours. I was a best friend to your best friend, Rick Grimes. He almost killed me with his colt, because I was angry, because a man was bit...after that, I was his “brother”.

Lily: I know, because Rick told me, post to the Apocalypse…

Taylor was so amazed by how this community work together to survive. Meanwhile, Dennis, and Mac pull their phones out, to text someone, or two….

Dennis and Mac: We’re at Hilltop, and we suspected that they’re have your daughter, Lydia…

Alpha and Beta: Good job, our sons. We’ll raid there, and take you two, and Lydia back to us!

Dennis and Mac: But people of Hilltop doesn’t suspected that we’re plotting this!

Alpha and Beta: Alright, when this FAIR take over at Kingdom somehow later this week, we’ll have to kidnap around 12 people from each community….

Later this week….

Kingdom

This weird group show up at FAIR, because of Carol suggestion a movies, and they’ve never seen any of those. So King Ezekiel decided to show a movie later tonight, and that movie is called: Star Wars: A New Hope. Their group are named: Highwaymen. Lydia, daughter of Alpha, and brother of Mac was see Carl Grimes, son of Rick Grimes. King Ezekiel, and Carol adopted a son, who name is Henry, and he’s younger brother of Benjamin, who was already dead. Another group also show up just a few days before the Fair, and they are: Yumiko, girlfriend of Magna, Musician Luke, and sibling, Kelly, and Connie. Yumiko was former guard for this old city name is Coalport, which they’ve been survived all this time. It’s not matter who lead who, but it seems that Magna is their leader.

Kelly was in high school, doing her final exam, post to the Apocalypse happened. Connie was an older, protective sister to Kelly, she was an Deaf journalist, who revealed every politician’s bad things, and put them in jail. Magna was do her criminal sentences post to the Apocalypse, and when that happened, she escape, and later on, she found Yumiko, and they development their romance relationship. Luke was in high school, along with Kelly, and he was a Music teacher, and she take his class. When Lily first met Connie, they both thought that each of them were only deaf person who survived this Apocalypse. They’re both toughness, strong, smart, and both are sympathetic.

When they did meet, Lily was practicing her bow and arrow talents, Magna, and her group show up. They’re given a tour of Hilltop, and Kelly ask Daryl: “who is this woman do with her bow and arrow”? He told her “that, oh, that is Lily Archer, older sister of Taylor Archer, who date Sam Winchester”. Kelly told her sister Connie about her, and she was very surprised, so she decided to approach her. They hit it off right away, so they did communication in their language, sign language.

As the night was about to come, Alpha show up at Kingdom, unnoticed, and she created sound that caused around 12 people to be captured. Daryl was sit beside Lily, as they, and everyone was enjoying Star Wars: A New Hope. Lily’s puppy was sleeping on Daryl’s dog. She decided to name it Shadow, and Daryl’s dog name is Ryder.

As the movie is over, people left, expect them, Sam Winchester, Rick Grimes, and Dean Winchester. They have their own conversion. They left, just as some people come to them, and told them where are some people. Lily come to her realization that her sister, Taylor is missing. Daughter who name is Jaklyn of the woman who name Frankie is also missing, along with Tammy Rose, Siddiq, Ozzy, Alek, Goose, Enid, Carl, Luke, Yumiko, and Henry.

Daryl, Michonne, Carol, and Magna go outside, to check and see if Whisperers had bother them, while Lily, and her puppy, Shadow who was in her knapsack, went out, look for those missing people, and that included her sister, Taylor. Ryder was stay behind at Kingdom, along with Connie.

As Daryl, Michonne, Magna, and Carol come up on this big hill, and they spotted 3 empty pike sticks on the ground, and they have this bad feeling about this. They returned to Kingdom, until the morning, where Rick, and Michonne have to let people know that they’ll have to honor them who’s not dead yet, but they’ll anyway. He felt really heartbroken, because he could not find his son, Carl.

As the dark come, Lily come across a barn, and she found whisperers hold 12 people captured. Will she rescue them, included her sister Taylor or not?.....

[mugsywrites]

If Rick and Maggie have to go, the only way for this to not be complete trash is for Michonne and her daughter, Judith, to live their best lives moving forward and to be total badasses and honor the Grimes men. And for Maggie to have Glenn’s beautiful baby and be an amazing mom and leader of Hilltop. And for Daryl to fall in love with Jesus and spend his time going between ASZ and HT and being the best right hand man and Uncle Daryl, and generally supporting his sisters.

I’ve been trying to think up ways for Andy to leave the show without the storyline being complete trash and I’m having difficulty. I mean, #foreverbitter Carl isn’t still alive since that would be the most satisfying end to Rick’s story--he dies knowing his wife and children live in a better world.

But yeah, the show’s focus should be on Rick’s widow and daughter after he dies. Michonne takes Rick’s place and raising Judith. Also because I’m trash I kinda want them to have had more kids before Rick goes. Michonne should be the new “lead” of the show, and if Danai is too busy writing award winning plays and raking in Marvel cash then Michonne should at least be the leader of the communities but out of focus, with Daryl being her right hand man and reporting back to her.

[scramblingminds]

@taramilobar This literally took me forever! I’m so sorry for the wait hon! This turned into a 11,000 word monster and my minds just went crazy. I don’t think I followed this perfectly but I hope what I came up with makes up for the long wait! 

Warnings: I’m going to go ahead and say Non-con, no intercourse but there is non consensual touching. This is Negan after all. Just fair warning, loves.

Taken

Honestly, it seemed inevitable, now that Daryl looked back. How easily the tension and doubt he had for Jesus shifted to something else. Daryl didn't know when it happened, it could've been as early as that first trip to Hilltop but over the weeks following the satellite station the change became clearer. The ninja was the go between for the two communities and even after Alexandria got all that was owed to them, the guy still hung around.  

Sticking to Daryl side for the most part, which Daryl didn't even try to argue. He should've known right that second that there was nowhere else for this to end up. It seemed that from that first meeting on the road it all was leading to one end. That end was one morning Daryl woke up with a face full of long brown hair and miles of warm skin pressed against him.

If anyone had asked two weeks earlier how he would have reacted to having Paul Rovia naked next to him? Daryl's answer sure wouldn't have been that he just burrowed closer and went back to sleep. That exactly what he did though and there was no going back after that.  

A month went by, things were working between Hilltop and Alexandria. Even more so for Daryl and Paul. Daryl would spend a few days at Hilltop, helping with duties and feeling at home in Paul's tiny trailer. Paul was at Alexandria just as much, he was often found with Maggie and Glenn or reading in Daryl's room. For the first time in so long, things seemed to be going right, it was like shit was finally settled.  

It was amazing how it was only two days for the world to go right back to hell. Denise was killed by Dwight even though the arrow was meant for Daryl. The redneck leaving the next day to find the bastard and Glenn following him with Michonne and Rosita. Paul was with Maggie, she found him after Daryl left, let him know. He didn't like it, he could understand why Daryl felt he needed to do it but he still was on edge.  

Paul had been the first to come running when she started screaming and he stayed at her side, her grip on his hand as he sat on the floor of the RV was bone crushing. The Saviors were everywhere; it seemed they appeared from thin air as they ran through the dark woods. Then the lights went on, the clearing came into view and Paul refused to be anywhere but Maggie's side as they got to their knees as Rick settled next to him.

Paul knew who Simon was, the man had made regular trips to Hilltop but it seemed Paul always slipped under his radar. It seemed even his and Daryl's frequent trips between communities had gone unnoticed, granted Paul had spent the last week at Alexandria. It was possible that the Saviors only started watching after he arrived. They had no idea he was from Hilltop and Paul was grateful for that. His home being put at risk was something he never would want to happen.  

Then Dwight opened that van door and Maggie's fingers that were gripping him to stay up right tightened. Glenn strained voice reached his ears, "Maggie?"

Paul was only looking at Daryl, the man's eyes equally locked on him. Daryl breathing labored, blood coating his chest and neck, the wound unseen under the thick blanket he was draped with. Paul felt his eyes burn as Daryl gave him a look that said so much. I'm sorry, I'm okay, why are you here?

Then Negan was there, the real Negan. Paul already knew Negan's rules but he thought they ended after the station. How had Paul not realized Simon hadn't been at the Outpost but there had been so many bodies. It all felt like his fault. If he had noticed Simon wasn't there maybe they would have been ready for this, maybe they wouldn't have been so caught off guard.  

Paul hadn't wanted this, he had hoped this would never happen again. It was happening, just like with Rory. Paul had been the one to lead Alexandria here, he had told them about the Saviors. They had been so sure that they were dead, how could they have been so wrong?  

Negan strolling in front of them, a snide comment after looking at Abraham about his facial hair. The way he got in Carl's face had Rick tensing next to him. Negan reaching toward Paul as he sauntered by, his fingers flicking Paul's hair over his shoulder with a snort as Paul flinched. Daryl made a small noise, like a growl which Negan didn't seem to notice before he moved on to Maggie.  

Glenn's outburst was much more pronounced. Paul feeling Maggie's nails cut into his hand as she held it for support as Glenn was put back in line. Then it started, Negan's twisted little game. The bat swinging closer to their faces, inch by inch with each pass before it stopped.  

Paul felt sick as Negan brought the bat down over and over. Abraham not going down easy, but the man's strength did nothing for him. It was like everything stood still, until Daryl threw that punch. Paul's stomach lurched, his body wanting to move on its own but Maggie grabbed him before he could do anything. Her weight on his side keeping him down but his voice rang out loud, hand reaching, "Daryl!"

Daryl was fighting the men who held him but his eyes were on Paul. Negan glancing at Paul for a beat before he told Dwight to get Daryl back in line, Paul wanting to badly to go to him. Paul wasn't ready to lose Daryl, he would never be. Then it was Glenn and Maggie let Paul go, her sobs loud in his ears. He felt sick, Daryl's nearly collapsing as Negan swung again and again.  

No one knew what to do when Rick was dragged off. The heavy presence of the Saviors made it hard to breathe or even move. It was so quiet, wet breathing the only sound. Daryl wouldn't look at him, his eyes steadfast on the ground. Paul just wanted to see his eyes, to know he was alright. Paul knew how Daryl worked, guilt hit him hard and fast.  

Paul didn't get why everything with Negan had to be a show. The way he paraded around before doing something awful. Rick's snot covered begging face would be something Paul would never forget. For one small second there was relief. Like this might be over, for now at least.  

"Dwight, load him up." Negan had Lucille pointed at Daryl and Paul had no one stopping him this time.

"DARYL!" Paul surged up, moving behind Maggie, hand reaching for Daryl as Dwight yanked him to his feet.  

A boot caught Paul in the side before he got far knocking out in front of the line of is kneeling friends, Daryl letting out a yell and even hurt he nearly took Dwight down. Another Savior holding the redneck as a few more kicks rained down on Paul, pain burning through him as he covered his face. He heard more than felt something crack under the heavy kicks and knew he might get stomped to death if he didn't act. Paul waited for the right moment and kicked out, his foot catching someone in the crotch, his fist landing a hard blow to another knee. He managed to roll away in the confused yelling that followed the hits.  

"Stop." Negan's voice had everything going still. Paul pushing up to a crouch, a bad pain in his shoulder not stopping him from glaring at the man. Maggie cried out behind him, her hand touching his back he was so close to her before she was pulled back by Rick making her sob.

"Damn, you are a feisty pretty little thing," Negan smirked but watched the words make Daryl fight even harder to get loose, "You and uhh, hell's his name?"

Paul glared as Simon thought for a beat, "Daryl."

"Right, so, you and Daryl huh?" Negan knelt down his smile just getting uglier as Paul refused to answer.

"Dwight, let Daryl go." Negan watched as Dwight shoved Daryl to the ground and the other Savior had to hold him down.  

"You heard what I said about that outburst shit, right?" Negan tapped Lucille on the ground next to Paul's knee. Paul didn't move, just stayed steadfast glaring. He couldn't just let them take Daryl, so much had been lost already, he couldn't lose him.  

"What did he have?" Negan asked Simon who glanced over at the pile of weapons that had been removed from the group.

"Knives." Simon walked over picking the holstered blades and giving them to the leader.  

Negan whistled pulling one free, looking over the razor-sharp edge before twirling it over his fingers to press into the side of Paul's neck. It didn't cut, just rested there as Daryl grunted, "Leave him alone."  

"I'm fine, Daryl." Paul glanced over at him with a small smile, "Calm down, babe."

Daryl went still in the Saviors arms, taking deep breaths until the hold was loosened and he dropped to slump on his knees. Negan laughed loudly watching the redneck obey and applied some pressure with the blade but Paul didn't react even when the skin split. It was a swallow, superficial cut and Negan removed the knife after another beat to sheath it with an amused grin.  

"You really aren't scared, huh?" Negan reached out, gloved fingers wrapping around Paul's chin tilting it up and side to side. Eyes looking over every inch of his face before giving it a hard squeeze, Paul not being able to help flinching just a little but those eyes saw it, "Leave Daryl, load this one up."

Maggie screamed his name and before Paul could think to move, Dwight's fingers dug into his already hurt shoulder, making it harder to fight the hold. He scrambled to get to his knees when he was tossed in the van, Daryl again being held down as he thrashed to get free.  

"I like him," Negan grinned at Rick then proceeded to threaten Paul, Dwight aiming Daryl's crossbow at him through it all, "You resist me and I will cut pieces off of...what's his damn name?"

Simon supplied, "Jesus."

"Seriously?" Negan cackled, "That actually sounds right."

Then Dwight was shutting the doors, Paul trying to hold them open but they still slammed shut. The last thing he heard before the engine started and they were pulling away was Daryl's chocked voice, "NO!"

--------------------------

"Daryl, I know you're upset," Paul whispered, "But please get some rest."

Daryl had been up all night, after they brought Denise's body back and told everyone about what happened. The guy Daryl met in the woods was back with friends and they were gunning for Alexandria. Daryl had been pacing all night, like a caged animal ready and needing to strike. It was just barely dawn when he sat on the end of the bed with a deep sigh.

Paul had been laying under the sheets, catching snippets of sleep as Daryl raged within himself. Paul sat up slowly, pushing the sheets back and crawling behind the larger man. His hands rubbing over Daryl's tense shoulders as he pressed close to his back.  

"I can't." Daryl shook his head, leaning his elbows on his knees with a grunt of frustration.  

That had been Daryl's answer all night, every other time Paul begged him to bed. Paul sighed, kissing the back of Daryl's neck softly, "Then come shower with me, please."

Daryl hesitated for a moment before nodding. He was still in yesterday's clothes, they smelled like gunpowder, blood and dirt. It wasn't easy getting private moments in a house full of people, but so early no one else was up and moving yet. Paul locked the bathroom door behind them.

Daryl managed to relax under the hot water, leaning to rest his head on Paul's shoulder as the ninja held him close, "I should've killed them."

The comment seemed to come from nowhere but Paul knew the man had to have been thinking it all night. He knew Daryl blamed himself because he had let Dwight and Sherry live in those woods. Gave them the opportunity to turn around and do more damage.  

Paul scrubbed his fingers through Daryl's soaked hair, kissing behind his ear, "You did the right thing."

Daryl shook his head but didn't argue further. The shower went on too long, the hot water trying to give out at the end but Paul almost wanted to keep Daryl there. To keep him somewhere warm and safe because he was there to protect him. He couldn't do that though and soon enough they were pulling on clean clothes.  

Alexandria was on lockdown and Paul really wished he could check on Hilltop. He couldn't risk it. It would be a gamble to go out there alone and worse if Dwight and his men didn't know about Hilltop, him returning would clue them in. He just had to hope they were safe until he could go back, until they figured this out.  

Paul moved to follow Daryl out the front door but a callused hand on his chest stopped him. He looked up to see Daryl chewing on his lip, "Can ya stay here?"

"Why?" Paul could already figure out why. Daryl wanted him safe just as much as he wanted the redneck to stay that way too.  

"Just need....time, to think." Daryl mumbled and Paul could accept that half-truth for now.

"Okay, but you have to be back by lunch or I'm coming to find you." Paul watched the tension seep out of Daryl as he nodded. When he stepped away Paul grabbed his hand, bringing it up to lay a kiss on his knuckles that earned him a small smile.  

Paul watched Daryl walk down the road, off to stew in his own head a while longer. Paul just hoped he would be alright. The sound of little feet on the stair had Paul turning, Judith coming down looking for some breakfast with still sleepy eyes. Paul scooped her up heading for the kitchen, if he had to stay in for the day then he had plenty of time to whip up some pancakes.  

---------------------------------------------

The worst part of it all wasn't the dark cell. It wasn't the loud constant music or sleep deprivation. The pain in his shoulder was pretty bad, it was swollen and figured that crack might have been his collarbone. He could live with pain or being forced to eat dog food naked. What was the worst part? The not knowing.

He didn't know how Daryl or Maggie or Alexandria and the Hilltop were. He had no clue how long he had been in the cell, it had to have been a few days. He had been feed five times but hours stretched on and on in the darkness. The only person he saw was Dwight, who handed him a crust of bread with a sneer. Honestly, he had more awful food at the group home so he could stomach most anything.  

One day Dwight came in throwing a wad of clothes down and stood in the door way. The light always made Paul's eyes hurt at first and when they adjusted he saw the ratty sweat pants and shirt. Dwight didn't move so Paul figured he wasn't getting any privacy. He stood and pulled the too large clothes on, wincing when Dwight grabbed his arm and pulled him from the cell.  

Paul clenched his teeth as he was dragged down the hallways. They all looked the same, plain grey walls and floors. The red door was the only thing that broke the pattern of grey and Dwight shoved him through it. Paul stumbled as they got inside, Dwight's hand tightening on his shoulder, making pain shoot down his arm.  

Paul was nervous as the doctor turned around. Paul hadn't had much interaction with this Carson before he was taken by Negan. Harlan was the kinder of the two brothers so Paul usually opted to just speak to him. This Carson looked him over and if he recognized him he sure didn't show it.  

Paul noticed the woman after taking a few deep breathes of relief. She stood up in a pretty little floral printed dress and very impractical heels. She looked a bit uncomfortable as she said, "Hi, D."

Dwight's fingers dug in harder as he answered, "Hey."

Paul's jaw went a little slack, this was Sherry, it had to be. Dwight's wife who had helped the man abandon Daryl in that forest. Paul knew something was up here, the tension between the two of them was palpable. Paul whispered under his breath, "Sherry."

She looked over at Paul, her eyes taking in his filthy skin and hair before she asked, "Who is this?"  

"No one." Dwight shoved Paul toward the exam table and he climbed up to sit.  

"He said my name," She stepped out of the way but kept her eyes on Paul, "How does he know my name?"  

Paul spoke up before Dwight could answer, "Daryl told me."  

"Don't talk to her!" The room went dead quiet save for the sound of Dwight's hand smacking across Paul's face. Carson awkwardly cleared his throat as Paul lowered his head, cheek burning from the hit and rage.  

Out of the corner of Paul's eye he saw Sherry cover her mouth as her eyes widened at him, "How do you know Daryl?"

"Don't talk to him." Dwight glared as Carson helped Paul to shift his shirt off his shoulder, "He's Daryl boyfriend or bitch or something."  

Sherry glanced at Dwight before taking a step toward Paul, she winced looking at his bruised shoulder as Carson ran his fingers over the bone checking for breaks, "I didn't know Daryl had someone."  

She glared at Dwight, like she was daring him to boss her around again. Dwight just shrugged and Paul risked an answer, "It was after, he met me after."

She nodded, her lip trembling a bit as Carson moved to start wrapping his shoulder, "Look, whatever they say, just do it."

"I said," Dwight's voice was low and Sherry stepped back, "Don't talk to him."  

She looked over at the scarred man before slowly leaving the room. Something bad had to happened between the two of them, Paul was sure of that. Carson finished with the bandaging, his shoulders movement was limited and the pressure eased the pain a good bit.  

"It'll get better, if you let it. Negan will take care of you. Trust me." Paul didn't trust the doctor and he certainly wasn't going to put it in the psychopath that ran this place. No amount of fancy rooms could make him change his mind.  

After their little fieldtrip to the yard, Dwight making Paul see the workers on the fence, the man shoved him back into his cell. Dwight paused in the doorway, "Make it easy on yourself."

Paul leaned back against the wall, shaking his greasy hair out of his face, "I'm never going to kneel."

Dwight chuckled shaking his head, "Yeah, I said that, too."

Paul glared up at him as he spat, "Yeah, I know. Daryl told me."

"Daryl, huh?" Dwight chuckled again.

"Why do you hate him so much? Daryl helped you guys out there, he saved you but you're holding some twisted grudge for no reason." Paul was surprised when Dwight surged down into his face, glaring daggers into him.

"I want him to suffer too, for him to feel what it's like to lose everything," Dwight sneered at him before leaning back, "You don't get it now, but you're gonna."  

Paul didn’t even want to know what that meant. Dwight slammed the door and a few seconded later that damn song started up again. Paul groaned covering his ears with his hands, he had to get the hell out of there.

-------------------------------

Paul was kicking the door when it swung open. His foot stopping just an inch from Dwight's crotch. The man glared at him as he lowered it to the floor, he really wished he hadn't pulled the kick. Dwight snatched him by the back of his shirt and dragged him down the hallway. He pushed him into a room that turned out to be full of showerheads, it looked a lot like a high school locker room.

Dwight shoved a bag at him, it had a bar of soap, tube of toothpaste, towel and comb in it, "Wash up, now."  

Paul blinked looking at the toiletries, "Why?"  

"Because I said so, dumbass. I ain't got all day, get to it." Dwight leaned back against the far wall, crossbow casually dangling in his hand like a threat. He had another bag in his hand but didn't offer Paul any insight on what might be in it.  

Paul walked over to one of the benches lining the wall and carefully took his shirt off. He knew privacy wasn't going to happen so he didn't hesitate to drop his pants. It had been at least a day since his trip to the infirmary so Paul unwrapped his shoulder, the bandage soiled from his dirty skin. It felt a good bit better even though the bruising was even darker.  

Paul grabbed the soap and comb and left the bag with his clothes on the bench. The water was surprising hot as he started the shower. Washing his body was quick, murky water swirling down the drain. He took stock of his body, bruises were everywhere. Over his ribs and arms, his shoulder of course the worse with it reaching from his neck down his bicep. They all looked to be in the shape of boot prints.  

His hair was matted and took the longest to clean, the soap not the best for the task. The comb ripped at knots in his hair but slowly it got through. He felt more human when he turned the water off. He turned to find the filthy sweat suit gone from the bench and the other bag that Dwight had been holding in its place.

Paul dried off, eying the bag. He glanced at Dwight but the man wasn't looking at him. Paul opted to grab the toothpaste and move to the small sink as he wrapped the towel around his waist. He wasn't offered a toothbrush so he just put some on his finger and started scrubbing his teeth. The mint was far better than how his mouth had been tasting for days. Dog food didn't make for good breath.  

"Get fucking dressed, c'mon." Dwight said impatiently as Paul rinsed his mouth and took a few deep gulps of cold fresh water.  

Paul moved back to the bench and opened the paper bag, his eyebrows going up his forehead. He pulled out the black t-shirt and jean, giving Dwight a confused look. These were new, not like the disgusting clothes he had been given before. Dwight just glared making an impatient hand gesture.  

The shirt was a good fit, if a touch tight but the jeans were like a second skin. Paul wasn't a fan of skinny jeans even before. Dwight dragged him out of the room, his feet slipping on the wet floor. His hair was still dripping when they started down halls away from Paul's cell. Dwight had his jaw clenched as he tugged him along.

The double doors to the room were open when they reached it. The room was nice, clean with much too elegant furniture for the building. Paul swallowed when six beautiful women turned to look at him. They were all in different style but equally black dresses. On one of the sofas sat Negan, Sherry at his side making Dwight's grip on his arm tighten.  

"Negan," Dwight made him bow, "You asked for him to be brought here."

"I sure did," Negan removed his arm that had been around Sherry and he hopped up with a grin, "Got him all squeaky clean like I asked too."

Negan strolled up, Paul could see Lucille leaning against the seat he just vacated. Paul didn't move as Negan took hold of his chin and tilted his head back. Negan towered over him by at least a head. Paul felt uncomfortable under his gaze and looked away.  

Negan chuckled his fingers sliding through Paul's damp hair, "I know Dwighty Boy has laid out the standard options to you but I have a new offer."

Negan lifted his chin until he had to look up at the man, his grin making Paul shiver, "You see all these women?"

Paul glanced down, the woman had shifted from being casually lounging around the room to cramming together on one sofa. Sherry's eyes locked with his briefly and he saw her lip quiver before he looked back up at Negan with a nod. Negan tugged him close, his nails biting through his beard to the thin skin below, "Fucking gorgeous things, aren't they?"

Paul nodded again to appease him, "They are my wives, I like to collect hot ones."

Negan winked at him and Paul grimaced, the man had no respect for the ladies in the room. Negan grinned as he leaned in, his face barely a centimeter from Paul's, "And you're really fucking pretty."

Paul's stomach dropped and he jerked back, not caring at Negan's nails scratched him as he took a stumbling step back. Negan followed shoving him until his back hit the wall, Paul brought his hands up and pressed them to Negan's chest, "No!"  

"What?" Negan put on like he was hurt, "You don't want to be my husband? I've never had or wanted one before but for someone as cute as you, I can make an exception."  

Paul was shaking, with rage and fear. Negan's hands came to grip his waist so Paul couldn't shove him away. Paul sneered up at him, "I would rather die than ever lie under you."

Negan tilted his head back with a laugh, "You've got sass, I like that but you see..."

Paul winced when Negan's hand trailed down to his thigh, he tried to pull away but the large hand got a firm grip. Negan's face went serious as he leaned in, whispering in Paul's ear making Paul flinch from the warm breath, "You can be my husband or Daryl dies."

Paul's head thumped against the wall he jerked back so hard, Negan smirked down at him. Paul felt sick, he didn't want to do that but he could not let anything happen to Daryl. He hated Negan's hands on him though, he could feel his skin bruising under his grasp and the man's mouth being so close to him was making him nauseous.  

"I can send D out and he will have Daryl's head here by morning." Negan threatened and Paul shook his head. He didn't say anything though and Negan smirked, "Or he'll drag him here and you can watch as I take Lucille and bash-"

"No, please!" Paul gripped the lapels of Negan's ever-present leather jacket, "I'll do it."

"Do what?" Negan brought his hand up to cup Paul's face, "I have to hear you say it."

Paul swallowed, closing his eyes as they stung, "I'll be your husband, Negan."

Paul felt lips at his temple and he bit the inside of his cheek, "Good boy."  

---------------------------

Negan had laid out the ground rules that night in bed. He forced Paul to lay at his side in the too plush bed. His arm slung too comfortable over the ninja's waist as he spoke in the dark.

"I won't make you doing anything right now, I know your still a bit hung up on your now ex," Negan chuckled and Paul bit his lip when it trembled, "But you have to obey me and follow my lead, always. Do you understand, Jesus?"

Paul nodded and he felt lips on his neck, he turned his face away and Negan chuckled, "You'll warm up to me, darlin'."

Paul buried his face deeper into the pillow, his fists white knuckled on the sheets as Negan dotted his neck was a few more kisses. He pulled Paul until his back was flush to his chest, his face buried into his hair with a sigh. It seemed like just seconds before he dropped into sleep and Paul tried to wiggle away.

He flinched as Negan's fingers dug into his stomach, holding him in place. He risked a glance back and the man was still asleep even as his nail bit into Paul's skin through his shirt. Paul moved back and the hold loosened. He wanted to jump out of the bed and run so badly.

His eyes moved over to the side table behind Negan, Lucille laying on the top. Paul knew if he moved too much, either for the bat or the door, Negan would be awake before he reached either. Paul carefully laid back down, Negan shuffling ever closer and Paul's stomach lurched. He took a few deep breathes, he could do this.

He closed his eyes, his body so tired and aching that even with his heart pounding from the presence at his back he managed to slip into fitful sleep.

------------------------

It seemed that becoming Negan's husband didn't completely remove Dwight from his life. The lieutenant was currently standing at his side outside the walls of Alexandria as Negan made Rick step out. The leader's eyes scanned over the group at his door, taking in the vast numbers before they landed on Paul.  

They widened for a second, his jaw clenching. The movements not missed by Dwight, whose hand came up to rest on the back of Paul's neck. Paul ground his teeth together, cutting his eyes at the blonde who seemed to be daring him to try anything. Rick took all this in, his nostrils flaring before he turned back to Negan.  

When Negan ushered them in Paul shook Dwight off of him, glaring as the other man instead shoved him forward like he wasn't going to follow. Paul's heart started pounding as the made it through the gate, a lot of people were already crowding around to see what was going on. Paul's eyes landed on a familiar figure that was standing by Rosita.

Daryl didn't look great but he definitely had been worse. His complexation was a bit pale but Paul knew his wasn't any better. To Paul he looked amazing despite it all, just the sight of him eased the knot of tension that had been sitting in his gut for days. Paul saw Daryl's eyes bounce down him, taking him in.  

Paul had on a different but just as black shirt, this one an expensive looking button down with the much too tight jeans. Negan had made Dwight return his shoes, the man had kept his clothes for some reason and Paul was thankful he left his trench coat back in Daryl's room so it was safe from the bastard. The Savior Leader seemed to love his black combat boots which just grossed Paul out. Paul knew he had some bruising on his face and neck but his outfit covered the worst ones.

The redneck took a few slow steps forward as Negan went on about all Alexandrian had to take. Daryl was only a few yards from him, Paul moving around Dwight and he was surprised when he wasn't stopped by the man. Daryl's voice was a hoarse whisper, his eyes a mixture of pain and underlying rage but still so soft for Paul, "Hey, Baby-"

"No." Negan's voice had them both freezing. Daryl's hand that had been reaching for him, Paul's had been lifting too, but both went still.

Negan walked between them, pausing to glare down at Daryl who returned the look without backing up. Negan grinned and Paul's stomach dropped, that look was proving to never be good, "Nope."

Negan stepped back until he was at Paul's side, his arm winding around Paul's shoulders to tug him close. Paul suppressed a grimace as he put his arm around the man's back, following his lead as instructed. Daryl's eyes widened before lowering into a heated squint. Negan just kept smiling, "You don't look at him, you don't talk to him, not anymore. He's mine now and I don't like how you're eyeballing my husband."

Paul clenched his jaw at the wave of murmuring that went through the group of Alexandrians. Daryl just held his glare even when Rick came to his side, whispering something Paul couldn't hear with a worried look. Paul stiffened when Negan hissed at him under his breath, "Remember my rules, boy."

A gloved hand took hold of his chin, turning him to look up at the larger man. Paul felt sick as Negan leaned in but he didn't move away. He knew if he did Negan wouldn't do anything to him but to Daryl. A part of him knew seeing this would hurt the sweet redneck more than any blow.

Paul slammed his eyes shut as lips met his. Negan's grip on him was almost bone crushing as it pried his jaw down. He wanted it to be awful, to taste disgusting and be sloppy. Paul hated that despite Negan's hold on him the kiss was nice. It wasn't a filthy show of tongues and bad breath. It was slow, almost gentle with the flavor of peppermint and coffee. Paul wouldn't have enjoyed kissing the man either way but this was worse. This was too intimate and Paul could feel eyes on them as Negan moaned into his mouth.  

Negan leaned back, nipping at his bottom lip like they were playful with one another before looking back over. Paul's eyes opened slowly, they were stinging as he looked to see Daryl had turned away at some point, his broad back steel straight and arms crossed over his chest. Negan let Paul go and the smaller man brought his hand to his mouth, rubbing his lips raw, "That's more like it, Daryl. Unlike you, I protect what's mine from unwanted hands."

Daryl stomped off without a word, Negan laughing as he twirled around to Rick, "Alright, let's get this show on the road!"

----------------------------

Paul didn't know how he did it but he held himself together until he was back in Negan's chambers at the Sanctuary. Negan had instructed Dwight to return him since the leader had business to attended too. Dwight had a tight grip on his arm the whole way, opening the doors for Paul when they reach them. Paul stepped inside, Dwight staying on the other side of the threshold since others weren't allowed in the room when Negan was out.  

"Hey," Paul paused as Dwight rubbed the back of his neck, "About what happened today, it was shitty and I'm sor-"

Paul slammed the door in his face, he would not hear an apology from that bastard. Dwight had been giving him awkward glanced all day after that kiss, Paul figured he had been grossed out. He didn't have a right to be sorry, not at all. Paul bit his sore lip, he has rubbed them tender and turned making a beeline for the bathroom.

The wives watched him, none of them moving as he locked the door and leaned back against it. He doubled over, he felt sick but knew he wouldn't be able to throw up enough to get the taste of Negan out of his mouth. He slid down the door, thumping onto the floor as he pulled his knees to is chest. His arms around them, leaning his forehead onto his forearm.  

The first sob was loud in the silent room. He had been so angry and ready to fight since the first moments back in that clearing but now his heart was broken. Maggie was dead and he hadn't been there. She had needed him and he wasn't there to comfort her. She had become his best friend, his first real friend in maybe ever and now she was gone too.  

Daryl hadn't been anywhere the rest of their time there. Paul didn't know if that made it easier or harder. He needed to be with Daryl, to let him know he didn't want any of this. To say sorry for bringing all this on them, for ever speaking the word Negan to the Alexandrian's.  

Paul rubbed at his face with his hand but the tears kept coming, his beard was soaked and the collar of his shirt was damp. He had never cried like this before but he couldn't do anything else. If he resisted Negan he was risking Daryl's life and he couldn't take that chance. He had to keep going along with the act, playing Negan's husband for who knew how long. Paul sobbed again, tugging at his hair in frustration.

A soft knock on the door above his head had Paul going still, sniffling as a quiet voice spoke through the wood, "Jesus?"

Paul wiped at his cheeks as Sherry shifted on the other side of the door. He didn't respond, the silence stretching between them before she continued after clearing her throat, "There are so many things I wish I never found out...I wish I didn't try..."

Paul heard her sigh as he grabbed a hand towel to finish drying his face, her voice making his tears stop and just anger seep in, "Back in the woods...after I lost Tina, my sister, and we decided to go back...I told Daryl I was sorry and he said "You're gonna be''…I am."

She stepped back after that and walked away. Paul slammed his fist on the floor, she was sorry. He had to get the hell out of there and get to Daryl before anyone else could. Paul stood up, a smile creeping onto his face. He had to get out of there and he knew of two people who were sorry and he just might be able to use that to his advantage.  

--------------------------------------

"Strip." Paul froze at the word. Negan was laying back on the bed, arms tucked comfortably behind his head as he leered up at Paul.

Paul had slept in his clothes each night, sometimes wishing he could leave his shoes on. Paul tugged at the front of his shirt, "You said we weren't doing that, not for a while."

Paul knew he couldn't, he just could not have sex with Negan. Just that day Negan had kissed him, in front of Daryl and the mere memory had Paul's blood boiling. The thought of opening his legs to Negan, it made him equaling furious and terrified.  

Negan's face softened, almost looking apologetic for a moment before he exhaled, "We aren't, just wanna look at ya, maybe cop a feel or two. No screwing around, promise."

Paul didn't like that much better but he figured if he fought too much Negan would start making threats. Paul unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it aside on the floor before peeling his jeans off. Negan never provided any of them with underwear, it was humiliating to him but he knew it had to be worse for the girls.  

Negan whistles as Paul hurried to climb under the sheets. He wanted to roll in a ball but Negan's hands stopped him, "Don't be shy now, darlin'."

Paul went still, Negan tugging the covers back to look over every inch of him. His hand on Paul's side making him flinch as he was rolled over so Negan could gander at his back and ass. Negan pulled him across the sheet to press against his clothes torso, Paul twisted his hands in the fabric for lack of anything better to do. Perhaps it was to stop himself from knocking the bastards lights out too.  

Paul tilted his head back as Negan kissed behind his ear over his throat, "You are so damn pretty."

Paul shivered at his mouth on him, Negan grinning as he clearly didn't know it was from repulsion. Negan's hand wandered over his chest, across his still healing shoulder then down his arm. Paul bit his lip as the large palm found his hip, Negan nipping and sucking at the soft skin of his neck.  

Paul jolted when rough fingers trailed over his lower back then dipped down to squeeze his ass cheek. Paul's heart went crazy in his chest as Negan moaned, jiggling the flesh in his hand as his fingertips inched ever closer to his crack.  

"Stop, please." Paul's voice trembled as he pressed against Negan's chest and twitched away from the hand on him. He gasped as his stomach came in contacted with something stiff in Negan's sleep pants and he felt lightheaded with fear he had never known before.

Negan was hard and Paul was strong but not that strong. Negan was larger and wider than him, it would take nothing for him to roll on top of Paul and hold him down. Panic was leaving a sour taste in Paul's mouth as Negan chuckled and slid his hand back up to Paul's waist.  

"I am going to fuck you," Paul shoved at his chest and Negan laughed, easily holding him in place. His fingers bruising as he kept Paul against is chest, "Not tonight, so stop your fussing. But I am and it's going to be sooner than later."

"But not tonight." Paul confirmed and Negan nodded.  

Paul managed to relax over the next hours, Negan falling into sleep as easily as always. He had no plans to sticking around long enough for later to come around.

-------------------------

Negan was gone by the time Paul woke up, having slipped into sleep at some point in the night. Paul threw the covers back and winced, every time it seemed like a mark was going to heal more were added. Paul rubbed at the raw feeling hickeys on his neck as he used the wall mirror to look at his backside.

Faint purple marks dotted the skin of his ass, while another pronounced hand print was running over his hipbone. He felt and looked like one big bruise. He flexed his shoulder, it was still sore and blackened but it was moving better every day. He remembered how the sight of his battered body had made Sherry grimace, he knew it wasn't a good sight.  

An idea clicked just then. Sherry was sorry and the sight of all these new marks would probably make her even more so. Paul glanced around, spotting a silk robe hanging on the back of the closest door. He grabbed it and pulled it on before heading down the hall to the main living area the wives occupied. All six of them were sitting on the sofa's, eating breakfast and already drinking as he walked in. Sherry was over at the bar where she usually stayed.

He walked over, leaning against the counter next to her, she glanced at him and he whispered, "You're going to help me get out of here."

She blinked a few times, looking around to see if anyone heard them before hissing, "There is no getting out, and if you try, what he's going to do you will just be worse once you're back."

"He's done some pretty bad things already." Paul informed her and she shook her head.

"You made your choice, it wasn't a fair one but you chose." Sherry didn't even look convinced, like she hated it just as much which she probably did. She had to leave her husband so Negan wouldn't kill him, Paul knew how much that hurt even if he and Daryl weren't married.  

"I didn't choose this." Paul stepped back and undid the robe sash, letting the fabric slip from his shoulders to the floor.

The gasps that rippled through the room proved something to him. Negan didn't treat his wives so roughly, thankfully. Sherry stared wide eyed, looking over every bruise and mark. Paul wasn't self-conscious under the ladies' gaze but took the robe when Tanya picked it up with a sniffle to hand to him.  

He pulled it back on and leaned against Sherry's side, "I always told Daryl he had done the right thing by not killing you and Dwight out there in that forest. I still want to believe that, so please Sherry, I have to get out of here."

Sherry reach out, touching the bites on is throat before nodding, "Okay, I'll think of something."

"For both of us." Paul rubbed her back and she smiled.

----------------------

Paul sat up straight when Negan walked in, with Carl in tow. He pushed to his feet, "Why is he here?"

"He's just visiting," Negan smiled before turning to Sherry who was next to Amber, "Can I talk to you for a minute, dear wife?"

Paul knew when he was being dismissed and turned to the wide-eyed teen. Negan didn't pay him any mind as Paul crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Carl. Carl squeezed him back tight, as Paul whispered to him, "Are you nuts, kid? Why did you come here?"

"I'm sorry," Carl spoke against his shoulder, "But I had to."  

Paul shook his head, Rick was going to lose his mind about this. Paul looked over his shoulder when Negan walked up to Amber, almost snorting when he said he didn't want people there who didn't want to be there. Paul never wanted to be there but he had been stuck in bed with an increasingly handsy psycho for the last few nights.  

Paul grimaced when Negan kissed Sherry but he felt this terrible bit of satisfaction when Dwight walked in tray of food in hand. Paul watched as Dwight stared at Sherry while Negan told him to fire up the furnace, then turned to Carl and told him to come with him. Paul didn't want to let him go, both of them clinging just a little tighter.

Negan chuckled picking up a toothpick and stabbing a grape before popping it in his mouth. He stepped over to lean in Paul's face, holding the toothpick up to his face, "Don't make me put this through the only eye he's got."

Paul swallowed, slowly letting go and Carl dropped his own arms. Negan grinned, "Carl, grab that tray and let's go."

Carl moved to grab the tray, glancing back at Paul before following Negan out. Dwight made a sound in the back of his throat before stomping off and Sherry sprinted to the bar to knock back a drink. Paul rushed to her side, "What's going on? Why does he need the furnace lit?"

Sherry poured another drink and tossed it back too, Amber sobbing behind them, "It's for the iron."

----------------------

The smell of burnt flesh was still fresh in Paul's nose when Negan left with Carl. Paul was surprised when Sherry came in the room and grabbed him, hauling him out as the other wives watched in confusion. She didn't say anything as she walked him down the hall and into a stairwell. She shoved a piece of paper into his hand before cupping his face, "I am sorry."

Then she was going back out the door, it closing softly behind her. Paul looked down at the paper, written on the front was two words, 'go now' with a match stick and key taped to the back. It was a motorcycle key, he had seen Daryl's enough to know it was his. Paul knew there was only one way she got that, Dwight had to have given it to her. Well, he wasn't planning on thanking them.

Paul took off down the stairs, he had passed a door on the ground level enough times and seen the rows of bike outside. Daryl's was always among them. He opened the door at the bottom slowly, peaking around to see the hall was empty. Everyone knew Paul didn't have free reign of the building, he wasn't allowed on the ground floor alone. So, if he was seen he was screwed.  

Paul moved quickly but quietly down the hall pausing when he heard voices around a corner. He took a step back then a jar smashed to the ground making the people start yelling. Paul turned and opened the first door he saw, rushing in and closing it behind him. He turned to the empty room as the voices continued outside, he wouldn't be able to leave until they were gone.  

He took in the room, there was just a lot of crap everywhere. Paul took in the clothes and chessboard, the pieces all looking homemade. Paul froze when he saw something on the desk, the belts and holsters familiar. Paul picked them up, his fingers almost trembling as he unsheathed one of the blades. His knives were still in perfect condition but if his blades were here that could only mean one thing.  

Paul strapped them back around his waist where they belonged, not in Dwight's room. He grabbed a jar of peanut butter from the top of the fridge. Despite the lavished food Negan had brought to them Paul hadn't had an appetite since he first set foot in the room, dog food was more appealing.

Paul sat in the recliner listening until the voices faded away. He stood up tossing the empty jar on the floor, grabbing a ball cap that was hanging on the light. He twisted his hair up into a bun, tucking it under the cap hoping he wouldn't be as easy to recognize without his locks on display. Paul reached down slapping the bottom of the chessboard, the carefully made pieces flying everywhere as he left the room.  

Paul found the door to the bike lot quickly; a matchbox was stuck in the door that he grabbed and stuffed in his pocket. He looked through the window and saw the coast was clear. Paul ran out, it took him a second to spot Daryl's bike. He had just reached it when, "What the hell?"

Paul looked up to see Fat Joey chewing as he took a step back. Paul slowly pulled one of his knives free and Joey dropped his sandwich, "Whoa, it's cool, I swear. Buddy, you can walk right out that back gate there, and I won't say anything to anybody."

Paul took a step toward him; his hands were up but Paul knew better than to ever turn his back around here. Joey's voice shook, "I'm supposed to be there now, but listen...I'm just trying to get by, just like you."

Paul stopped as Fat Joey's trembled, "Please."

Paul slung his knife, it landing right between his eyes and the large body fell in a heap. Paul ran over and pulled it from his skull, bringing it down again this time in his heart. He did it again and again. Paul wasn't usually like this but all he could think about was the aches in his body, the humiliation and all the times this particular bastard had aimed a gun in his face before Negan took a liking to him.  

"Paul." He swore he heard his name but he just kept bringing the blade down over and over until this time it was stronger, "Paul!"

Paul stopped, slowly looking up to see Daryl standing in front of him, face full of concern. Paul sheathed his knife shakily as Daryl reached out to him. Paul shook his head, glancing down to see the Python sticking out from under the fat assholes back. Paul pulled it free, Daryl gasping at the sight of the gun.  

Paul raised to his feet, when Daryl held his hand out Paul took hold of his forearm to help pull himself up. He looked down at Joey one more time, "It isn't just about getting by here. It's about getting it all."

Daryl took Rick's gun when Paul held it out to him and leaned down to snatch up the walkie on Joey's hip. Paul stepped back, pulling the key out of his pocket and pointing at Daryl's bike, "I have the key, let's go."

Daryl nodded, practically scooping Paul up as he moved to the motorcycle. It didn't feel real, that Daryl was here and they were leaving until they were speeding down the highway, heading for the Hilltop.  

-----------------------------

Daryl didn't slow down until they were right outside the gate to Hilltop. Kal gasped opening the gate as quickly as he could. Daryl rolled them slowly in and Paul carefully stood up once they stopped and the gate was closing behind them. It was a tense moment as people flooded out, taking in the sight of him.  A few people ran up to him, crying as they held him close and Paul returned the hugs with a sigh. It was good to be home.  

Daryl killed the engine, reach around to rub Paul's back as the doors to Barrington house opened. Gregory walked out first, face pale and disbelieving. Sasha and Enid followed and Paul started heading to meet them. As he passed other colonist he would take their hands or pause for an embrace.  

"Hey." Sasha had tears in her eyes as she pulled into a bear hug. He knew she had to have been hurting over the last week and he held her as tight as he could. Enid looped her arms around the both of them before they shifted to make it a group hug.  

"Jesus?" Paul jerked back at the voice, head whipping around before landing on someone walking from around the back of one of the sheds, "Oh my god!"

"MAGGIE!" Paul sobbed sprinting over to her, Sasha stepping back with tears slipping down her face and Enid sniffling.

Maggie met him half way, his arms wrapping around her waist as she practically jumped into his arms. Paul buried his face in her shoulder as she gripped the back of his shirt in a white knuckled grip. He sobbed feeling her breathing and warm against him, "You're alive, you're really here. How are you?"

"I'm alright, the baby is too but look at you and you ask how I am?" She shushed him, reaching up to rub the back of his head, "Thank god we have you back, I'm sorry you didn't know the truth."  

Paul shook his head, she was alright that's all that mattered. She started shaking with her own crying, "We missed you."

Paul leaned back, cupping her face, not know what to say but she smiled up at him. Her eyes went over his shoulder and Paul turned to find Daryl there. The man had seemed skittish of him, like he didn't want to spook Paul. Paul appreciated it honestly.  

"Ya should get checked out." Daryl jerked his thumb over at Carson who was standing at the door to his trailer with a smile.  

"I should, um," Paul leaned close and Daryl tilted his head down to listen, "I'll meet you at the trailer. I really need a shower."

Daryl chewed his lip like he wanted to protest leaving Paul's side but he ended up nodding. Paul rubbed his arm in thanks as he passed and went to the medical trailer. Carson ushered him in quickly.  

"Are there any main issues I need to look over?" Carson asked.

"My shoulder got pretty messed up but uh..." Paul swallowed awkwardly, "Your brother wrapped it and said nothing was broken."

Harlan paused at the mention of his bother before clearing his throat, "Well, how about I give you a second opinion?"

Paul unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off, hearing the intake of breath from the doctor. Harlan didn't say anything though as he ran his hands over Paul's shoulder, moved it around a bit to see how the range of motion was. He deemed it healing but it would still be a few weeks before it was back to full strength.  

Paul took the bottles of anti-inflammatories that were held out to him and Carson sighed, "I hate to ask but you have a lot interestingly placed bruises..."

Paul glanced down his torso. Dotting over his stomach and his hips disappearing into his jeans were purple marks in the shape of fingers. Paul reached up covering the fresh blemishes on his throat and he could still feel Negan's beard burning the skin as he bit and sucked.  

Carson reached to squeeze his uninjured shoulder, "Do you need another...kind...kind of exam?"

Paul could feel the awkwardness rolling off the obstetrician and he felt bad for him. He knew it was a fair question, given the state he was in but his face went hot anyway. Paul started pulling his shirt back on, patting Harlan's arm uncomfortably, "I'm fine, thank you."

"You sure?" Carson stepped back giving Paul space.

Paul nodded and Carson didn't push further, "Well, take your meds and give it a few weeks but you'll heal up fine."

"Thanks again." Paul excused himself and practically ran out of the trailer.  

Paul could feel people staring at him as he crossed the distance to his trailer. He just flet off kilter, like he was a stranger in the colony. He didn't feel like himself, hell he hadn't been really him in days now. It would take time to readjust.  

Paul walked into his trailer, Daryl was sitting on the bed and shot up to stand when he entered. Daryl was gnawing at his lip again, "Got ya a fresh towel in the bathroom and some clothes."

"Thank you," Paul took a step toward the bathroom, the room feeling awkward, "I'll be just a minute."

Daryl looked unsure again but didn't argue so Paul hurried to the small room. He closed the door behind him, leaning back against it with a sigh. He caught his reflection in the mirror and winced. He had shadows under his eyes from lack of sleep and a cut over his eyebrow he forgot he got back in that clearing.  

He hickeys stood out on his skin, like the blood splattering his front. His beard was growing out a bit, he hadn't maintained it in a week now and his hair was limp and greasy from using the wrong kind of shampoo. Paul hated how Negan's voice whispered in the back of his mind, promising to find his husband some of the fancy organic shit.  

Paul ripped the clothes off him, shoving them in the trash can by the sink. He didn't want anything of Negan's near him. Paul knew it wasn't good for the tiny trailers hot water heater but he cranked the heat all the way up. He flinched from the stream at first before forcing himself under it. He scrubbed until his skin felt raw but it was amazing.

It was liking washing all the blows and too gentle touches away. The bruises would remain but in few days the black would fade until it was yellow then gone. He stopped his hand from trying to claw the flesh of his throat off and he debated using the bleach under the sink to rinse Negan from his mouth.  

Paul was raw and tender when he turned the cooling water off but he felt more like Paul Rovia than he had in days. Paul toweled off, combing out his hair and brushing his teeth for about ten minutes. He looked at the plaid sleep pants and worn grey tee shirt Daryl had set on the back of the toilet. Paul felt his lip quiver, they were Daryl's but Paul had stolen them weeks again much to the redneck's bemusement.  

Daryl hadn't always been so kind and sweet but it came out over time. How he let Paul hang all over him even though he didn't like touches from most anyone else. How Daryl had been the first to make a move much to Paul's excitement. Like how he had still come looking for Paul even after what happened in Alexandrian even though the sight of Negan's tongue in his mouth had to hurt him terribly.  

A knock had Paul looking over at the door, "Paul, ya alright?"

Paul walked over to the door, pressing his hand to the wood, "Daryl?"

"Yeah?" He could hear the older man shifting on the other side but he didn't move to enter.  

"The other day..."Paul started, hearing Daryl make a sound that was a lot like a growl in his throat, "I'm so sorry..."

"Don't, baby, just don't," Daryl's voice was rough through the wood and Paul leaned his forehead against it, "Ya had to, I know. Ya didn't do anything wrong."

"I've done so many things wrong," Paul's voice broke and he could feel Daryl lean against the door, "Things I'll never be able to fix."

Paul knew all this was his fault. He had told the Alexandrian's about Negan, he had dragged them into everything. He had brought them to Hilltop, he had tried to steal their van and all of that led them to where they were now. He didn't regret it though and that made him feel a measure of shame, seeing what all had been lost. If Paul hadn't swiped those keys then he never would've gotten to know Daryl, it was selfish. After all those days at Sanctuary he had learned one thing, sometimes being selfish isn't the worst thing.

"I have too, Paul," Daryl whispered, "But loving ya is one of the things I've done right."

Paul whimpered, "You love me?"

"Yeah," Paul stepped back turning the door knob and throwing it open, Daryl was gripping the door frame and his eyes swept over Paul's body. He hadn't covered himself, every battered inch on display for the redneck's gaze. Paul's heart almost stopped until Daryl locked eyes with him, "So fucking much."

Paul grabbed his neck and went up on his toes, his mouth meeting Daryl's half way. Daryl tasted like smoke, spearmint and just right. Paul had gotten use to Negan's strong cologne but Daryl was all musk and woods and he was lightheaded with it. Paul kissed him like he was drowning and Daryl was a lifeline, he really felt like he life depended on it.  

Paul pulled back enough to whisper, "I love you."

Daryl leaned his forehead on Paul's, fingers tight on the frame, "I missed ya."

"I missed you more." Paul smiled and he almost forgot how that felt. Daryl grunted in the negative, shaking their heads.  

Paul ran his fingers through Daryl's hair, both content to stand and share breath but Daryl's hands stayed firmly off of him. Paul brought his hands to Daryl' chest, pushing him back into the room. Daryl's arms fell limply to his sides making Paul frustrated. Paul walked them to the side of the bed, stopping and pulling Daryl flush to his chest.  

"Touch me," Paul whispered against his mouth, "It's been so long since I've felt a kind hand, please touch me."  

Daryl made a wounded sound, like the thought of Paul suffering physically hurt him. Slowly, like he might spook Paul and send him running, Daryl brought his hands to Paul's waist. Paul leaned back, looking down and watching Daryl softly drag his calloused palm over his skin. Daryl would pause at a bruise, size it up with his finger, covering them with his warm touch and they seemed to hurt less.  

One hand ran over his stomach over the nail marks left there, them over the boot sized ones. The other brushed down his thigh, the bruise there the deepest and darkest. The hand print was largest than Daryl's as he covered it was his and Daryl made that growl sound against. Paul shivered and Daryl's fingers brushed over his shoulder tracing the hickeys there.  

Daryl leaned forward, kissing the spots softly and Paul wrapped his arms around his waist. Fingertips slid over his shoulder blade, connecting the irregular pattern of bruises. Daryl paused when he reached his lower back and Paul felt him go stiff with tension. Daryl used the hand on his thigh to make him turn a bit in their embrace and his hand ran over Paul's ass cheek. Over the purple finger sized marks.

Daryl's throat clicked when he swallowed, his hand moving over the flesh like he could wipe the blemishes away, "Did he?"

Paul turned back to fully face him, moving Daryl's hands up to his hips before looping his arms around Daryl's neck. He kissed Daryl's chin, then the corner of his mouth and that little line of moles, "No, Daryl, he didn't."  

The he didn't get the chance was unspoken but still there. Daryl squeezed him tight before lifting him and maneuvering them onto the bed. Paul squeaked making Daryl grin as he kicked his boots off the bed and pulled one of their blankets over them. Paul had missed his bed, had missed his pillow and had missed being in Daryl's arms.  

He snuggled into Daryl's chest, the older man running his finger through Paul's hair. Paul sighed, "He took Carl back to Alexandria, I hope they're alright."

"Rick can handle it." Daryl murmured.

"How did you even get to the Sanctuary?" Paul looked up to see Daryl smirked.

"Snuck onto the back of their truck, Carl was already on there, the troublemaker. I bailed about a mile out and followed but the brat had to make an entrance." Daryl rolled his eyes.

"Too much like his father," Paul started unbuttoning Daryl's shirt, the older man quirking an eyebrow at the action, "It won't be long until Negan realizes I'm gone."

Paul plastered his torso to Daryl's now bare one, soaking in his warmth. Daryl rubbed his back soothingly, "We'll worry 'bout that in the morning, baby. Just rest for now."

Paul was exhausted, in every way imaginable. He just nodded as Daryl tucked the blanket more tightly around them and closed his eyes. Things were only going to get more difficult in the morning, Paul knew that but sleep came easily for the first time in days.  

Just before he dropped completely under he felt lips against his temple, "Ain't ever gonna lose ya again."

Paul was too tired to respond more than to smile and hold on just a bit tighter to the man he loved. There was still so much he had to tell Daryl and for Daryl to tell him but he was content at the moment. Content to just be with Daryl, for them to be alright and together again. He could live with just that much, the rest they could handle in the morning.  

[thewalkingdead-obsessed]

Characters I wanted more for

I could make a post like this for absolutely any show I watch, but there are some characters in TWD that I feel especially strong about that I truly believe they could have done more with.

Duane: We only got to see Duane briefly, but I honestly hoped we would get to see him more with Morgan. I *guess* I understand why they chose to kill him (Morgan’s arc is really huge in the show and has affected multiple characters), but I still think it would have been amazing to see more Morgan-Duane dynamics since there was a lot of changes for Morgan off screen. I have read a few theories that Duane may still be alive, and if that’s true I would be all for it!!

Shane: Okay… hear me out on this one. I completely understand why they did what they did with his character and in the context of the show I don’t think killing him was an awful choice BUT there is a part of me that wishes they would have diverged from the comics a bit more. It would have been a dream come true for me if him and Andrea took off like she originally wanted to. How cool would that have been if they went off together and then later connected back with the group somehow. Maybe they could have had their own little community that could be involved in All Out War or something? Lori still would have been mad at Rick for Shane leaving, so that would create the stress in their relationship in the beginning of season 3 up until her death. Shane would have had time to grow, to let go, to start over. I loved season 1 Shane and he was cut out to live in this world so the fact that he was killed by his bestfriend was really tragic. I think they could have made the show more original if they did something else with Shane besides killing him. And could you imagine the dynamic with Negan and Shane…. Oh my god.

T-Dog: The use of his character is honestly one of my biggest gripes with the show. He was around for three seasons with very little (on screen) development. I thought they were going to do something with him with Dale when they had that moment on the highway but really not much came from that. They killed him off to keep Carol alive, but his death couldn’t even be mourned that much because it was overshadowed by Lori’s. They could have done SO much more with T-Dog. We got almost nothing for his background. He made no huge relationships with other characters, but was undoubtedly part of the main group. He was there to do the dirty work - but was given close to no development. I loved the brief moments we got of him on the show, but I think they were incredibly lazy with their lack of making something out of his character.

Andrea: I think a lot of people will agree with me on this one. Comic Andrea is BAD ASS, but show Andrea is a little lackluster for me. I think their first mistake with Andrea was the way she reacted after Dale saved her from suicide at CDC. She got all teen-angsty (not saying there is anything wrong with being emotional but they portrayed her emotions in an almost sexist way), rather than focusing on being badass and growing. THEN they introduced her to the most badass character on the show, Michonne, and didn’t even show us and of their relationship development???? They had an entire winter together but when we finally see them as a duo Andrea is at her weakest. I wish they either developed that more, gave her some type of separate storyline with Shane, had her kill the Governor when she had the chance and/or take over Woodbury. They had so many opportunities with her character but they turned her into some dull version of her comic character by making her a good shot… that’s about it.

Tyreese: Tyreese is one of my favorite characters on the entire show. He was a voice of reason, a fighter, and a good guy. Even Kirkman wishes Tyreese could have lived longer. He should have made it to Alexandria. He deserved to find love again after suffering so much. He saved three kids, including a BABY, from the prison. He was selfless. He didn’t let this world make him too hard, and when he found himself being out of line, HE CAME BACK FROM IT. I loved Tyreese. Everything about him. Martin talked about the idea of good vs bad, and how good guys don’t live. I didn’t want that to be true in the case of Tyreese. I think good people should get a chance to live. They are strong and Tyreese was proof of that.

Noah: I’m still struggling to understand the use of Noah’s character… He was heavily connected to Beth’s storyline at Grady Memorial Hospital. He made it out when she didn’t, just to be brought back to Grady to get her, almost got forced to go back, but then made it out with TF after Beth was shot. They went to Virginia where his family was supposed to be, Tyreese died in this process and Noah’s family was not found. He made it to Alexandria, seemed to have a promising future working with Deanna’s husband, and then he was killed brutally? The pieces don’t seem to fit properly, there is something not adding up. I wish they would have done something fulfilling for his character like have him find his family, develop a relationship with Deanna’s husband, or even just give him a place within the group and Alexandria.

Glenn: I couldn’t forget to include my sweet baby Glenn in this. Steven recently went on to say in an article that he felt like Glenn was an underappreciated character and I completely agree. He served the group time and time again - yet until his death Maggie was one of the only people who really understood his worth and value to the group. Glenn was the reason they were all together, that any of this was possible. I do think they are honoring him in death, but I wish he was honored more in life. His character was based around a romance (a beautiful one, I won’t take away from its glory). When they tried to give him a storyline with Nicholas that ended so weirdly, i felt so incomplete. I wish Glenn never had to kill at that outpost, and I wish Glenn got to live. I get the choices the show made (to a certain degree, because I understand the need to make the war feel necessary) but I dream of a world where Glenn and Maggie could be the leaders of the Hilltop with their sweet baby by their side. Glenn will always be the heart of the group and TF in my eyes.

*not including Beth because I still believe there is more out there for her*

Which character did you want more for?

[spacelyspace]

Thoughts on finale

Ok, now that I've had time to process and watch it again, here are a few things that I either didn't like or just, my jury is still out on I guess? I'm really working on not being overally negative, so I'm not dragging any characters in this. - I feel like even though this was a nice ending change from the last few seasons of extremely depressing season finales (and definitely a welcome change from the beginning of this season) I think this is probably the weakest season finale since the season 3 finale. I think for me the writers seem to struggle with emotionally resonating on the triumphant happy finales. I don't know why that is, and it may be just a personal issue, but I usually really like happy endings, I don't know. I felt like maybe there was too much going on and not enough solved. I get that they are telling a long story though, so I am super pumped for next season. - Sasha's death. Ok, so this was handled differently than I thought it was gonna be, and definitely with better thought into Sasha's character than I anticipated. And with the gut punch of seeing Abraham, it just was done fairly well I think. However. I hate that it had to happen at all. I actually think it would have served rositas storyline better. She would have redeemed herself and gone out fighting and with a point. Sasha had found a purpose and a point to living, so it was just very crappy that she had to die. I also just hate that they are killing off amazing actors. Steven, Michael, and Sonequa are amazing flipping actors and their loss is felt not just on the story, but on the quality of art. Christian is getting better, chandler is getting better, but as much as I like Gabriel I don't think the actor is that good, and just others in general. The acting power houses that we still have and they better keep are Andy and Danai. - This one is just a little petty, but I wanted to see Rick kill Jadis and maybe a few more people. But his standing up to Negan was pretty awesome. - Ok, so Maggie. For some reason this season I feel like I can't connect with her character. She's always been a strong and emotionally resonant character for me and definitely in the first episode of the season that feeling was still there. But it was like they wanted her to serve this plot of becoming a leader at the hilltop so they pushed for it really fast. And they started having other characters preach that thought to the audience instead of us just seeing it unfold. Like, I definitely see why she has become a leader and I don't not want to see that. But I wish the build up had been a little longer and more organic than just her doing something stupidly heroic (sit down while you just almost had a miscarriage Maggie!) and then have Jesus tell us she's a better leader than Gregory. I mean, everyone's a better leader than Gregory. So it just didn't feel as earned as other storylines. I don't know if that's just me. - Kind of going along with that, but I've said this before, that I don't like how plot is more important than characters now. I read some of the spoilers, but everything that happened in this episode was very predictable and kinda forced in a way. Again, they seemed to force the plot to get here too quickly. If they hadn't have spent so much time in the first half of the season breaking everyone down, I think they could have spent a bit more time getting us to this point. Because with the garbage people, I feel like our family would have been much more suspicious of them. I just didn't get why they just trusted them? So when they turned on them it just was like, well duh, didn't you see that coming guys? So it just didn't feel earned. But yeah, I think maybe they've got just a few too many moving parts at this moment. Maybe they'll figure it out how to balance it by season 8. I'm hoping. - Show don't tell. I wish I was better with words and more insightful, because I can't really pinpoint anything specific lately to explain this. But something I have really loved about this show is that they show, not just tell. Specifically in the past with Rick and Michonne, they showed that relationship progressing, they didn't have to tell the audience anything. Those that were paying attention got it. Some shows have other characters voice that "oh you two are meant to be" or "don't you see that you love him/her?" Stuff like that. And this show hasn't done that in the past. At least not excessively. But I feel like this whole season has been a game of tell. I don't really feel that way with Rick or Michonnes storyline, so I could be biased, but I think they are still trying to handle those two characters with a lot of care and thought. Whereas I think they are struggling with how to show it with the others because for the most part, they are all still new. They haven't been through what the rest of our group has been through, and they've killed off 2, now 3, of the characters that have those seasons before Alexandria as a touch point. And with Maggie they have for so long had her defined with Glenn that they are struggling with how to make her storyline work. Which I think it really can, they just forced it too fast I think. (And still forever bs that they had to kill glenn for them to do it, it probably would have worked better for me if Glenn was still alive and maybe captured by Negan, and then Maggie would have been getting troops ready to save him. That would have emotionally responded with me and made it believable to me that people would start to see her as a leader, but alas, they chose this.) - I guess it's just about feeling moments and characteristics are earned. Like, with Rick standing up to Negan, that was flippin earned! You didn't need anyone to say why, we as an audience had seen Negan just pick at and beat down Rick, so this scene between them was earned and therefore so good! I think ezekiel fighting back was also earned, and carol and morgan coming back and fighting for their family I think was really earned and good too. So I guess I don't know what it was that I felt wasn't earned. I'll have to contemplate that more. - It could be that maybe I don't like the story of "it's not about us anymore, it's about a future". Like, I really like that in theory, but if I'm watching a tv show, its for the characters, so if the show isn't about the characters anymore, I'm not going to enjoy as much. So maybe that's what I'm worried about? I'm worried the show isn't going to focus on the characters as much as fighting for a future for people that we haven't grown to know and love? Again, I agree with that way of thinking for the characters, but not as someone who is watching a television show. Overall though I liked that this was a triumphant end to a chapter and beginning of something new. I'm excited to see the family and communities fighting together to bring down Negan. Just, I hope they remember that the characters they created are why we watch. Make the characters stories and motivations real and organic and earned, and I'm there.

[chriissers]

Before I start talking about tonight's episode can I just say how much I hate Gregory? Because I fucking hate him so much. He needs to go away like now immediately. Other than my hatred for Gregory, I enjoyed the episode. This second half of the season has been so good imo. I feel like this episode really reflected on where the character's places are within the world they're in now. Like it has continually been shown that Maggie's place is at the Hilltop as their leader. Then Jesus talked about finally belonging. But I also feel like this episode showed that Sasha thinks she doesn't have a place. She knows that the Hilltop needs Jesus and Maggie. And of course there's the scene at the end of the episode where she stops Rosita from going with her and tells her that she is needed and it's not her time. Honestly it breaks my heart because Sasha is such an amazing character and she is needed. I don't want to see her die yet I know it's coming up. 😭😭😭😭 I was annoyed in the beginning with how Rosita was treating Sasha but I'm so glad they at least got to bond and understand each other. And I think their conversation is what made Sasha realize that Rosita needs to be the one to get out alive. The group needs her. The scene between Maggie and Daryl was heartbreaking. After Glenn was killed I was honestly really angry with Daryl's character and thought it would probably just be swept under the rug. But I'm glad I was wrong and it wasn't. I was happy that he apologized to Maggie. I'm happy they had their emotional scene where Daryl admitted that it was his fault. And I'm happy that Maggie told him it wasn't. I feel like this is a big step for both of them to move forward. And one more thing... Fuck Eugene.