#Garrus wants to '''''have some fun''''' and '''take a break'''

[dispatchwithlove]

Antagonistic Shakarian 👀

Deserves more eyes 👀👀👀👀

Thanks for the ask 😊

Ok. So I got a bit of an itch for antagonistic relationship dynamics and of course my mind was like "what if shakarian? 👀"

I think it's really fun, but I'm really worried about writing and posting it because I'm so used to writing bestest of friends Jane and Garrus. But I do like this idea because I want to show two people who used to be close and are questioning their beliefs and how the world works bumping heads because they're challenging each other. There will be a lot of contempt, but that's only because they care very much about each other. Maybe Garrus convinces Shepard there's no such thing as a model hero (pure paragon doesn't exist in reality), maybe Shepard reminds Garrus of some of the values he dropped in order to become Archangel. And also it's an excuse to write two people that are disasters having a lot of hot sex 🤭

here's where their issues start. it's still very rough!

“I think you're a good man, one I’m proud to—” “You’ve never lied before, Shepard. Don’t start now. That’s what you used to think of me.” So, that’s how he wanted to play this. No feelings spared. “Fine, I don’t want a vigilante on my ship. I don’t want someone who doesn’t know when to stop—” He scoffed, and a spike of anger shot up her spine. “You wanted the truth. Complaining afterwards is cowardly.” “I’m not complaining. But I used to look up to you—

“Excuse me?” Before she thought to contain her anger, she took two steps towards him, feet pounding against the floor, fists balling. She didn’t want a vigilante, true, but a C-Sec officer turned vigilante she could reform. Insubordinate prick, she wasn’t interested in. Instead of backing down, apologizing, retreating, he fucking smiled like her anger only amused him. “I used to look up to your tactics,” he said. “Best mind for assessing a situation I’ve ever worked with. Seems a suicide mission calls for someone who doesn’t know when to quit. That’s all I’m saying.” “What the fuck happened to you?” Shepard asked.  “Sorry you don’t like me now, people change in two years, though. You, for example—” Having no fucking interest in any more truths for the evening, she threw up a hand. “Yeah, I’m starting to understand that. Bunk here for the night. I’ll figure out what to do with you in the morning.”  She turned to leave, itching to look at something else, to get away from him before she said something she’d regret, or do something she’d regret. She’d never felt like punching a subordinate before, and would have never guessed the shy, do-right Garrus Vakarian, who looked up to her, who wanted to be a Spectre again because of her, who always stood at her six as if the position filled him with pride, would have been the bastard who drove her to that point. His hand caught her wrist, wrapped tight.  “You, for example, have become very touchy,” he said.  She jerked her arm trying to free her wrist, but he held firm, her skin burning from the friction, bones pulling too tight. His eyes held the cool confidence she only saw when he settled his rifle on his shoulder, but there was something more dancing in his gaze, something she couldn't read. She knew she could take him in hand-to-hand, hoped her instinct that he’d never hurt her could be trusted, and yet his hand felt so large, and his intention so murky.  Yes, she could take him. But she’d walk away with at least a broken wrist. And losing a friendship that meant more to her than she’d realized up until that day.  “Unless you want to be escorted off this ship at the next stop, let go.” His eyes blinked once, softened. Holding firm, his thumb stroked her palm. A ripple that – and she knew exactly what it meant – purred from his body and infected her senses. Within a breath her anger turned to confusion, and back to anger.  He’d never expressed anything more than platonic admiration before. Why would he imply something like that in the middle of a relationship breaking argument? And why did she like the sound of that purr so much? Irritation — at him, at her reaction — prickled through her.  “Lonely Garrus? Pretty sure Omega should have satiated whatever need you had.” “Not all.” His hold stayed firm. Whirring machinery and a steady beep from somewhere at the back of the room filled the silence.  He was needling her, playing with her. Knowing that didn’t wash away the desire shimmering deep in the pit of her gut, though.  Tension, heat, and thoughts of the taste of his skin and the strength of his grip on her thighs pulsed through her mind.  Shame rattled her back to her senses.  “I’m not interested in playing games with you. I’ll give you the night, and if you can’t get yourself together by morning…” He released her wrist with care, but the tender touch surprised her even more than the roughness just a moment earlier. Despite the burn on her skin and twist in her tendons, despite the fact that every instinct told her to run, the loss of his touch caused an unfamiliar desperation and loneliness to bubble up right in the center of her. Her ribs felt too small and her heart and lungs too big. “We’ll talk tomorrow,” she said and left, her footsteps pounding in the silence. Doors hissing behind her, she shook the tension from her hands. 

[jackals-ships]

JACKAL I must apologize I was like I WILL GO CHECK F/O LIST because I am not 100% sure which bot you ship with (<- did not care about robots until suddenly I cared A LOT) though I thiiink it's Megatron bUT sorry if I'm wrong fkdjashkj BUT BEARING IN MIND I HAVEN'T FINISHED S1...I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SHIP(S) 👀 and perhaps read fic at some point if you are able to find it @goldenworldsabound

(<- did not care about robots until suddenly I cared A LOT) IS AN ENTIRE MOOD THO HFKF tfp is like some sleeper cell activation code i SWEAR,,, + ur all good !! i gotta fiddle w my f/o list a lil and then repost it bc i kept meaning to make minor changes an then forgor,

BUT ANYWAYS YES !!! he's also, hilariously, one of the f/os i have a physical lil guy of despite being not on my radar as long as like garrus hf

also a read more bc i woke up Rambly today <3

he gets to sit with the ponies :} bc he canonically likes mlp at least according to the lil ask Megatron bit + there was a whole comics crossover (2 I think actually?)

breakdown + knockout are also My Besties they started out as like kinda baby crushes <- local aro can't tell the difference between Feelings even in fiction more at 11 [lighthearted] before megs came for my braincell with the fuckin. steel chair HFJ so seeing you go 👀🥰 at knocks i was like FUCK YEAH LETS GOO !!! im dropping into his work station from the ships vents like oooo someone's got a cruuuuush ooooo you wanna be all (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）don't u knocks- (jackal is once again banned from the nemesis)

okay okay but; i rlly only have one fic Finished and luckily had the foresight to post it to AO3. it's a lil older so not totally in character + canon but still silly and cute hjfkd

NOW GETTING INTO MY RED STRING TERRITORY-

when i get into something with a lot of continuities i tend to kinda? squish em together? or take bits and pieces going >:3 my city now, so the jackal x megatron ship is Primarily TFP but ive also absconded with fun movie details (like megs being i think it was 30? 40 ft tall? Fuck Huge,,,,) and also bits of comics lore/designs (holomatter is an interesting concept and im chewing on Meg's as we speak. gnawing on his arm even-)

but regardless this ship is totally my Slice Of Life Comedy Hour Chill LoFi Beats type of ship HKF like im a sucker for darker stuff higher stakes but i think this one has 0 stakes

like. like jackal and megatron literally met because jackal enjoys long walks on the beach exploring places Away from the city and Generally Away From Ppl to just sorta vibe. and ofc the normal thing to do when coming across a Definitely Alien And If Not Alien Then Like Secret Government Ship is to walk away. NOT wander ur happy lil ass inside like :0 yooooo what do These buttons do

and then when you get kicked out instead of getting squished like the bug you shouldn't come back via the air vents. again. and again and again and AGAIN and AG- until the local alien warlord gives in and is like "yeah okay this is my life now ig???" (soundwave was totally helping them btw. he likes drama 😌 and also has his own human hi adri so he can't say shit-) (also I've never decided on the Actual number of times they break it, in my brain it keeps slowly going up jus bc I find the concept SO funny. pov you're an alien warlord worried you got alien rodents and oh no NVM it's the human again. FUCK-)

it's absolutely the slowest burn too bc Meg's Refuses to admit that he has a crush on the weird squishy thing that keeps breaking in (until he's decided they're dating. and doesn't bother mentioning this) while jackals just 🥰 hehehoho big robot friend who calls me scraplet and sweetspark and sometimes puppy 🥰🥰🥰 also threatened to kill any mech who was mean to me 🤔🤔 weird. aaanyways

THERE'S ALSO a running joke in my head of that "what do you have?" "A KNIFE" "NO-" but it's jackal running off with energon bc you can't SHOW ME a cool liquid and have me NOT want to drink it !! Just a sippy. jus a lil- we'll have the hospital on speed dial pleeeeaaaase-😭

anyways tldr jackal megatron is "I'm not trapped with him he's trapped with me yaaaay :D" and "robot google; weird fuzzy feeling in spark?? how to remove weird fuzzy feeling?? robot google human exterminator near me-"

[n7viper]

I am now obligated to ask 2 facts about Maeve and 2 about Mihri about their favorite locations in their respective world settings 🥰

Oooh thank you for this! I don’t know if it’s ever something I’ve really elaborated on for either of them :3

Mae falls in love with the Dreaming City pretty quickly. She spends a lot of time there after Forsaken, helping Petra control the curse cycle. As far as a specific place, there are some really lovely cliffs you can just hang out on and take in the scenery near the bridge outside of the Shuro Chi encounter in LW. I can see her spending a lot of quiet time there, when she has the free time. I also haven’t forgotten about my “Hot Springs in the Dreaming City” headcanon — if there were hot springs, she’d spend a decent amount of time there too. (Cherish is welcome to join in and take a break! :3)

Hmmm and random facts about her… I don’t really have a face claim for her, but since guardians are often pretty sporty/fit, I do have a body claim for her - Jessica Ennis Hill, a British track and field athlete. While Mae is capable of using all forms of Light and Darkness, she is primarily an arcstrider, evenly split between arc staff and Gathering Storm. I tend to envision her as having more upper body strength anyway, due to abilities and weapons she likes to use (bows!), so I wanted to go with someone who does javelin throw.

I haven’t elaborated much on it here, to my knowledge, but Mae is a big nap queen. She is so so sleepy all the time. It’s not for a lack of sleep — she’s just got a lot going on. So if she sits too long, she’s probably gonna fall asleep. Oops!

Mihri’s favorite place isn’t static — she loves being near rivers and streams. Really, anywhere there’s a place to sit and dip her toes in cold water and watch local wildlife. Especially the frogs and toads :) She grew up in forested areas like the Emerald Graves and feels most at peace there.

Random facts about her — she was originally just a mod test on PC. I was primarily playing DAI on PS4 but downloaded the PC version to try out some mods, since I usually play Mass Effect heavily modded as well. I was just downloading hair mods I thought were cool and outfits, etc etc. And then I accidentally ended up with the prettiest OC I’ve ever made and she just completely took over my mind after that.

She is my only OC with children. It’s been mentioned in passing in a few places, probably even here months and months ago, but I am completely childfree and do not ever write any of my OCs with kids in mind. My Shepard is a Garrus-mancer, and she shuts down that conversation in ME3 immediately. But as Mihri started developing, I realized she would LOVE to have kids. Originally it was just one, now it’s three… It’s a weird dynamic to try to write because I do better with things I understand (naturally). But it’s still really fun, and I spend a lot of time thinking about her and her little family 🥺

[intrepidradish]

Media: Mass Effect & Dragon Age

Year/my age: 2013-2017/23-27

Okay so! This period of time I didn't read fanfiction! Why wasn't I reading fanfiction? I'm not sure. Maybe because it takes a lot of time. During this period, I was dating and job hoping. I was living in New York City which is the land of zero spare time. I was definitely consuming fanart for it, but if we got into the weeds of what fanart I've interacted with in the last decade and a half, we'd be here for centuries. Interesting enough, I think these two game franchises cap the beginning of my break from fanfiction and the end of my break from fanfiction.

What drew me to the media:

When I first started dating my husband in 2013, he got me to play Mass Effect 1 & 2 & 3. I was using an xbox, bleh. I'm not a gamer, at all. It's funny that some very important obsessions of mine are games (*cough* DE). If you've played Ubisoft games, they have moral paths, good stories, and romanceable characters. Unsurprisingly, I romanced Liara in the first game, and Garrus for the remainder because I like aliens. (But I really wanted to romance Wrex or Mordin, grrrr)

Years later when I played Dragon Age 2 (which was strangely unspoiled for me!) I romanced Fenris because he was a skinny, angry boy with a big sword. But I think if I were to play it again I'd romance Merrill instead (because she's adorable and uses morally unethical magic.)

What made me a fan:

Romances are fun! I really thought I was going to get Garrus Fenris thigh tattoos.

Have I written fanfiction for it?

Probably the same reason I didn't finish Dragon Age 3, I was there for the romance and the world more than the gameplay. Unfortunately, the gameplay takes the most time for me, but it's really difficult for me to experience what's going on when suddenly a bunch of dumb enemies throw me into combat. (Also if you're curious I was trying to romance Iron Bull, Dorian was too pretty and I didn't want to play an elf to try for Solas. I should really look at the women again.)

Why or why not:

I don't get full immersion in a world I have to fight my way through. It'd be like calling yourself a tourist when you visited Paris during WW2. The lore of these games are quite extensive. But also! The romances felt complete to me.

Opinion on the fandom:

No idea! Certainly talented artists!

Would I read again?

I've read a few stories recently. There was some crossover with Mass Effect from my predators group. If I ever finished Dragon Age 3, I'd probably dabble into it now.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY GARRUS VAKARIAN

ASSORTED DIALOGUE FROM THE MASS EFFECT TRILOGY

i would’ve never thought of that.

what are you doing?!

they must be destroyed upon contact without exception.

as if we needed more reasons to avoid touching things in here.

why do people always assume we enjoy putting ourselves in harm’s way?

this wasn’t covered in my training manuals.

well, this looks fun.

some women find facial scars attractive.

they were all ignoring you and hitting on me. ‘bout time you got a fair shot.

why don’t we ever go anywhere nice?

it’s your call.

we shouldn’t be fighting. we have to work together.

that’s pretty... extreme.

there’s no pep talk like a military pep talk.

and here i thought i had my betrayal and attempted murder for this year...

now’s not the best time to become an optimist.

he’s not going to make it if we don’t help him.

we can disobey suicidal orders? why wasn’t i told?

he hasn’t reported your disappearance.

this guy couldn’t tie his bootlaces, let alone fight.

half of us don’t even trust you.

one less to worry about!

over the years i’ve grown used to the smell of dead bodies.

that’s probably a bad sign.

i love what they’ve done with the place.

just like old times.

whatever they’re after, i hope it’s worth it.

i’m hard to kill. you should know that.

it’s gonna be bad all over.

for whatever it’s worth, i’m with you.

you’ve waited long enough for this day.

just wait ‘til this war is over.

you came along and warmed my heart with your winning personality.

maybe you’d like to go work for them instead?

how do i not have one of those?

surprise on our side for once. i like it.

brutal, but it makes a certain kind of sense.

it’s all just... expected.

i know we’ve beaten the odds before.

staying out of trouble, i see.

you were wondering too, weren’t you?

see any action?

there’s too much at stake here.

next time, leave instructions.

it’s starting to feel like we’re missing something.

they’re taking it pretty well, don’t you think?

bad vibe to these guys. i don’t think we want to push it.

never do that again.

i’d say you managed.

excuse me, i couldn’t help but notice your sidearm.

can you tell me where the bartender hides the hard stuff?

now they’re just fighting dirty!

well, that went well.

pretty stark. you okay?

you’re real. a little crazy, maybe, but real.

he really had you boxed in.

you did what you had to, and i was there with you.

come back alive. it’d be an awfully empty galaxy without you.

you can’t do this solo.

you always were the best shot.

i love you, too.

listen. we have to go.

we didn’t kill these people. and we’re going to shut down the bastards who did.

looks like we’ve got a siege on our hand.

if anyone needs fresh clips or a bathroom break, now’s the time.

oh crap!

guess he didn’t like the food.

looks like we got the jump.

pretty extreme, but those were desperate times.

we won’t get a second chance.

that was me, sorry.

nothing like being stranded.

we’ll do more than that.

just the usual minor flesh wound.

what would these people have done if we hadn’t shown up?

i was there when you two had your thing, remember? just get a room and work it out.

stay angry. we’ll need it to get through this.

drinks will be on me.

one of my favorite places to fight!

[that-wildwolf]

Have you ever thought about writing Garrus and Shepard adopting? I have always seen that in the fictions you write -which I think are incredible- they don't have children. I thought it was not your preference to see them if- that's completely fine, everyone has their tastes and that is respected- but I want to know your opinion about it. By the way, i love how you write angst 💕

Yeah, I don't really see them as parents. I know there's the whole dialogue about krogan kids and all, but I always saw that as Garrus just trying to keep Shepard thinking about the future and wanting to have something to fight for rather than an actual proposal to start a family together.

They're scarred. They're traumatised. They've done bad things. They've killed. First and foremost, they need to heal. And even then, I'm not sure if either of them is parent material. Not in my interpretation of them, at least. Taking care of a kid is hard work! Don't they deserve a break? Don't they deserve to just live in peace without having another responsibility on their shoulders? I know it's not the same, but being completely responsible for another person's life like this would probably bring back some unpleasant memories for my Shepard. Hell, for Garrus too.

I don't think they'd make the decision to adopt unless they were absolutely certain it was something they were 100% ready for. And I don't think they ever would be. Not 100%. I can see Garrus having doubts about whether they'd be able to raise a child, after all the things they've done. I can see Shepard not wanting to potentially pass on any of their trauma onto a child. Most important of all, the task of healing and learning to live with all the horrors and trauma is big enough without the added responsibility of parenthood. And I want only the best for my blorbos, which in their case is peace and quiet. They deserve it I think.

TL;DR: I don't want them to have kids I want them to fucking get a break

that being said

I have written one fic of them adopting a little turian kid as a matter of fact! I've never posted it anywhere because I kind of stole the fic plot/idea from a friend and idk if it would be weird for me to post it somewhere without her.... blessing i guess? I enjoyed writing it (mostly because I like writing Garrus interacting with children in general), but I don't think I'll be writing a lot more of that. It's fun as a one-off thing, but I still don't think of them as parents. Also I don't want to have kids and Garrus is basically my self insert so there's that

[misterewrites]

Wrap-up: The Salt-Irons Case

Hello! E here with the next chapter, little late but I had to deal with a head cold and i freaking hated it! Yay! So here we go the finale of Finn's case and the start of the next arc. Who will get the spotlight? What's going to happen? Find out soon!

I hope you are all doing great, being safe, keeping your loved ones safe and all that jazz. Keep wearing masks because no, despite what everyone wants, the pandemic isn't over especially for a lot of places that need the vaccine. Stay safe, keep your loved ones safe, get vaccinated if you can and stay extra safe if you can't. Push for global vaccinate because a lot of places still need it. Keep Ukraine in your hearts, in your thoughts even if it gets a lot to keep track of. I get it. Also keep your eye on any bullshit somebody is trying to pull cuz right now a lot of places are trying to fuck over everyone but if you want to just exist, i get it. I do I really do. Just keep your health in mind alrighty?

That's it for me! Seriously I cannot thank you all enough for reading my story, for taking the time out of your day to give this a read. I am so surprised and happy how many views this story gets and I am so grateful for them especially since it's an original work i know how really hard it is to get any success out of it. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Tell your friends, recommend it, comment likes, reblogs I love them all! and appreciate every single one. Stay safe, have great days untill the next time I post and thank you for reading. You're the best!. E is out!

So we’re at the part of the tour where I shamelessly plug myself. Yes I know but I have to or else no one will read. I gotta try at least you know?

If you want to read my story on a more user friendly site that doesn’t hate me and where, fun fact, i sometimes correct my work typos and all, here’s the link right down here 

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/97939368

If you need a refresher cuz holy snap it’s been a month. I meant it to be two weeks you can click right here https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/96221044

If you are curious about what this is or bored and need something to do, here’s the story from the beginning. I promise it’s actually not bad. evidently. Who would’ve guessed! not me I’m way too modest for that.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/75486005

And here’s link to my page where I have various different stories ranging from some Vi/Cait from Arcane, a story involving Jinx, Soul Eater, Genshin Impact, Owl House and some Red Hood among other stuff because I like to write and let me tell you I do it way too much yet not enough.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrE42/pseuds/MrE42

And that concludes this portion of the tour. if you are disembarking here have a great week and be safe. take care of yourself. 

For those of you joining us beyond the keep out sign, enjoy!

Summary:  Still alive, Finnrick meets up with Eden and Garrus to debrief the M.R.R.D on what happened and answer any lingering questions. Due to his injury, however, he'll be forced to sit out the next adventure which may be sooner than anyone hopes. Luckily there's someone who can help with that. Probably.

-----

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“I am, in fact, not.”

“Hey ya’ll” Maddie cut the conversation with a soft smile, a long line of plates running up her arm in impossible fashion “Make room so I can feed you.”

Given it was a typical day of cheery chatter and utensils hungrily scraping plates to ensure every last bit of food was consume, it was fair to assume Finnrick had survived his deadly encounter with the being from another reality.

The detective awoke several hours later under the care of Doctor Carmichael, a cleric of Altruism and close family friend. Despite both he and Casey’s best efforts, Finn’s injury hadn’t been a clean enough break to mend properly by either cleric. Healing magic, while powerful, included certain requirements to be used safely. So until the bones realigned properly to heal with magic, Finn was on mandatory vacation which meant arm in a sling and no cases for at least three weeks.

Finnrick did not like that but there was little he could do as when he reached to take his plate Jaime smacked his hand away.

“No.” She said firmly “What part of taking it easy do you not understand?”

Finnrick chuckled softly “Jai it’s a plate of eggs. I think I can manage.”

“Mhm. Like you managed to walk out of the cemetery on your own.”

Finnrick opened his mouth to argue but Jaime continued “Because you did not walk out of there on your own. Case and I had to carry you out.”

“Well…” Finnrick tried to chime in.

“You got fat.” Jaime nudged his stomach playfully “Too much of Ma’s food.”

Maddie pretended to be scandalous “Mind your tongue or I’ll take back your French Toast and eggies.”

“Sorry ma’am. No disrespect meant.”

The other occupants of the table began to let out a cheery laugh as Jaime smiled sheepishly.

Maddie pinched her cheeks lovingly “Only joking sweetie.” Jaime let out a sigh of relief “Oh thank god because after the fucking scare my brother gave me I need to treat myself.”

“You.” Maddie pointed accusingly at her “Are just as bad as him. Every day you used to be in here and now I hardly see you!”

“Why we picking on me? He’s the one that did something dumb.”

“Stones and glass houses dearie. Casey, honey, here’s your order.”

Casey smiled gratefully as he carefully leaned over Finn to take the plate.

“And officers: Miss Eden and Mister Garrus. Your orders as well.”

Finn felt an odd mixture of annoyance and gratitude as his closest friends and allies were surrounding him in a protective cocoon: Casey and Jaime on either side of him with Garrus and Eden sitting across. It was unlikely someone would attempt to take a swing at the detective in his current state. Injured or not, he remained a powerful spellcaster but people weren’t always logical and sometimes a bad idea was too tempting to pass up.

Jaime had been allowed to take time off until Casey could properly heal him in few weeks time and Casey, who couldn’t take as much time given he was the entirety of the Neighborhood Watch, at least agreed for today. Eden and Garrus claimed they chose Ma’s so Finnrick didn’t have to come all the way down to City Hall for the debriefing but the detective wasn’t fooled: Between two clerics, a wizard, a sharpshooting badass and Maddie herself, Ma’s was probably the safest place at the moment.

And given the fact Eden insisted that they pay for everyone’s meal meant they probably felt guilty about Finn’s injury.

“I can’t believe it.” Garrus mumbled unhappily, his silver-gray eyes still wide “He transferred his soul into another body? Are you sure?”

Finnrick gave a quiet nod, digging into his meal.

Garrus ran his hand through his hair nervously “How is that possible? Drift, how is this possible?”

“I was surprised myself when I confronted him. I was expecting a simulacrum with his personality copied over, an imitation thinking he was the original. I wasn’t expecting….”

He could still remember the dangerous glint in Richard’s eyes, the spark of insane creativity only humans could achieve. Copies lacked the flame of existence, the drive that burned bright in living creatures and it always showed.

“I’m not sure what I was expecting but it sure wasn’t that.”

Eden scoffed in disbelief “Come on don’t be so fucking modest Finny. You must have some idea. You’re Finn! You know everything!”

“Yeah no.” Finnrick chuckled lightly “Fun fact I do not actually know everything. I’m only human guys.”

“But….you’re a detective. Isn’t your job to detect, to know everything?”

“Well yeah but sometimes I just don’t know.”

“But you’re Finn.” Jaime shot him a sideways glare “You always know. That’s like your thing.”

“No.” Finn corrected, playfully tugging his sister’s cheek “It’s not my thing. Guys I’m very good at my job but I’m not a bloody psychic.”

“But you’re Finn....” Eden couldn’t keep the confusion off her face.

“You know most of the time I have the case solved like 80% but for some reason everyone thinks I know everything so by the time I confront them, they assume I already have their entire plan in a notebook somewhere and just blab. It’s honestly very refreshing. Makes my life way easier.”

A hush fell over the table, a quiet realization as everyone present began recounting all the times they just casually revealed their secrets to him under the assumption it was pointless to hide as he would discover it sooner or later.

Eden was the first to recover, eyes narrowing in mock fury “You are so ground…”

“Any theories then?” Garrus cut in gracefully. Eden openly threw a death glare at him but he paid it no mind.

Finnrick paused for a moment, digging into his wizardry knowledge for an answer.

“I suppose...”He started slowly, ideas still poking and prodding at his half formed thoughts “The soul of something could be made out of an energy we don’t understand. I guess with the right spells and tools one could theoretically transfer it into a body though it’s probably insanely dangerous. Too many factors like keeping your sense of self intact, making a human body, souls getting rejected. I mean spirits and ghosts are real but they’re still the person they were in life and don’t require a body to stay in this plane of existence but possession is a thing. Spiritualism isn’t really my cup of tea. I have a friend I could call. Maybe she figure an answer for us but as of now I have no idea how the fuck that works or how to even begin to answer that question.”

“But Richard did.” Eden answered darkly.

“Good thing he’s dead.” Casey replied in kind.

“Worse than dead.” Finnrick corrected.

Garrus glanced out the window thoughtfully.

“Da?” Finn asked, his concern clear.

Garrus took a deep breath, his voice dropping to a whisper. “When I was growing up Mister Valka was very...adamant about certain things. Souls were one of them. I suppose I am just curious how angry this news would make him. I admit it’s affecting me more than I was expecting.”

Eden and Finnrick shared a look, a quiet understanding passing between them.

“So.” Eden cleared her throat loudly “What were the creepy dolls for? Creepy shit right?”

“Oh totally Ma. He was using model art dolls to get his new wooden body’s movements down. Probably freeballed it the first go around and people noticed.” Finnrick explained while popping a piece of bacon into his mouth.

Garrus snapped back to reality “What about the creature getting here? Any ideas on that mystery?”

“Amos” surprisingly Casey was the one who answered.

Garrus shot him a curious glance.

“Sorry.” Casey grinned nervously “Felt a little left out. No I didn’t figure it out” he quickly added “Finn told us on the way. We kinda pestered him about the case too.”

“Amos?” Eden raised an eyebrow “Wasn’t aware he was in town.”

Finnrick gave a hearty chuckle “We’ve long theorized that the Fae Realm is probably whatever connects all the different realities together. To get any other existence means you gotta through the Fae. Amos had been tracking a fae folk creature in London and he told me when he tackled it through a portal and landed here. Distance and time are funky in the Fae so it’s possible the creature was just waiting there, looking for some way in.”

“And the little bit that attacked you outside the Salt-Irons? Inkwell is the name you gave. What about it? Any chance it’ll get punted out of this reality?” Garrus asked hopefully.

“No” Finnrick answered honestly “It seemed to have its own sentience, its own existence. Big daddy ink was aware I fought it but didn’t seem to know where it ended up. My guess it was ‘born’ here so it’s native and reality won’t kick it out.”

Eden straightened up, a bit of professionalism seeping into her posture “Is Inkwell going to be a problem?”

“Well…..”

-----

Somewhere hidden in a forgotten alleyway long thin inky tendrils spread out like spider webs, clinging onto any and everything it could grab: bottles and empty bags, discarded newspaper and bits and parts of random junk. The ink shimmered and pulsated.

Inkwell was weak but soon it would be strong. Soon it will be strong.

All it had to do is wait.

-----

“I’m sure it’s fine.”

It was impossible whose stare was more deadpan: Da or Ma’s.

“You really believe that?” Their voices spoke as one.

“No. but there’s not much I can do about it, is there?” Finnrick gestured to the sling “Besides the city’s huge. There’s no way we can check everywhere and be sure we did. As much as we hate it we’re going to have to wait for Inkwell to make its first move.”

Neither Eden or Garrus liked that answer but they knew Finn had a point. Until Inkwell showed up it was a waste to hunt for it.

“There’s one thing I’m curious about.” Casey piped up after a moment of silence.

Jaime stared at him with a playful grin “Only one?”

“One that I’d admit to yeah.” Casey stuck his tongue at her before continuing “Why did you go alone?”

Finn could feel every pair of eyes fall on him, their gaze half irritated half expectant.

He cleared his throat theatrically “Well it was better that way: It could shatter my shields with little to no effort so taking you Case wouldn’t have been ideal. You’re not exactly graceful on your feet.”

Casey opened his mouth to argue but Jaime had beaten him to the punch “Hey! He’s an excellent dancer and you know it!”

“Naturally” Finnrick agreed “But in an uneven graveyard with fog everywhere? Way more cause to trip up.”

“True….” Casey mumbled unhappily.

“And you Jai.” Jaime jumped back in surprised as her brother whirled around to face her “You are more than agile enough to hand the terrain but you don’t have much experience fighting stuff out of this world. I can’t be worrying about you tucked away in some corner and trying to make sure I don’t get skewered. Either of you actually. Without my shields to cover you I’d be too worry to focus. Better to take less targets than getting everyone killed.”

“And you two.” He faced the officers as they opened their mouths “Red tape. All the fucking red tape. No signal to call out there and no time to wait.”

Garrus and Eden frowned but said nothing.

“And there are my perfectly legitimate reasons why none of you could come with me.” Finnrick gave a short nod, allowing a smug smirk to grace his face.

“Fuck you son.”

“I still think I should’ve been there.”

“I was worried all fucking night bro!”

“With my rifle I could’ve been in the forest. No one had to know.”

“Guys, guys.” Finnrick raised a hand in surrender “It’s over. It’s done and everyone is safe. If a dislocated shoulder is the price I have to pay for it, so be it. Now we gotta get a move on.”

“Another case son?” Garrus stared disappointingly towards the detective.

Jaime scoffed “Not with me on watch. He’s going to get a lot of rest but he wants to make a stop first.”

“I have an idea where to find our little helmeted vigilante.” Finnrick admitted “Going to drop something off and then head home. I’m sorry what my injury is going to do to the streets.”

Garrus waved him off “We’ll do our jobs. Same as always. You get better.”

Casey let out a sigh of relief “Thank god. I got the monthly Watch meeting tomorrow. I need to ask Evan if he could watch the neighborhood.”

“Bye kids!” Eden gave a friendly way at the departing trio “Don’t get into trouble but if you do make sure to kick its ass!”

“Why must you encourage them?”

“Builds character” Eden answered with a smirk “Now pay the bill.”

“Why do I have to pay the bill?” Garrus mumbled grouchily “You’re the one who invited the kids for breakfast.”

“Yes but you’re their ‘father’. You need to show some responsibility for them.”

“Pfft you’re the one that adopted them.”

“We, we adopted them.”

“Then you should pay for our ‘children’.”

“Oh what’s that? Sorry Maddie’s calling me. I’ll just be over here.”

As Eden began making her over to the counter, Garrus shot her a halfhearted glare before pulling out his wallet, a small smile gracing his face as he shook his head in disbelief.

-----

It was 11 at night when there was a knock on the office door.

Frankie, a younger member of the Troll’s Toe Neighborhood Watch, was on call. At first she thought it was the soft pattering of the rain hitting the pavement streets but the tap became increasingly louder and louder, uneven with the torrent outside.

It wasn’t uncommon for members of any Watch to answer calls at all hours of the day but Frankie wasn’t used to anyone seeking help at this time. Most people in the Midtown magical neighborhood were already cozily tucked into bed especially with the sudden thunderstorm.

Frankie drew her weapon, a large wrench she kept under her desk, and slowly inched her way towards the convenient store styled door of the building. She tried to peer outside to see who it was but the shifting shadows from the storm made it impossible to see.

Boom!

Without warning, thunder echoed impossibly loud out of nowhere, rattling the office violently as a streak of lightning bolted across the sky and lit up the figure standing in the doorway.

Frankie screamed at the sight of the tall shadow that stood before her: Covered head to toe in a long black riding cloak with ghostly green eyes peering at her with a soulless gaze. Chains wrapped around their torso tightly as a large stone slab simply hung on their back. Long, wild gray hair hung in front the stranger’s silhouetted face. One hand was outstretched to knock again while the other held onto some sort of walking stick as a rusty faded unlit lantern hung from it and swung menacingly in the breeze.

“Back!” Frankie’s voice squeaked, raising the wrench high in both hands “I armed and not fear to use!”

The figure reached for their hood and Frankie could feel her heart drop at the sight of how toned and muscular this stranger’s arms were. In a straight fight Frankie didn’t like her chances.

The figure pulled back the hood and shook the hair out of her face.

Her face?

“Hi!” the woman smiled brightly as she gave a cheery wave “Sorry to bother you I just got into town.”

“What?” Frankie let the wrench fall out of her hands.

The woman gestured to her ear “Yeah sorry I can’t hear you. Can you open the door?” she pointed at the door between them.

Frankie nodded and opened the door to let the strange woman in.

“Much better” She let out a sigh of relief as the warmth of the office filled her bones “Sorry about that. I just got in and I was told this is where I could get some help.”

“Umm…..what kind of help?”

“Well you see.” The woman began hurriedly “There’s a powerful spiritual disturbance here. I could feel all the way in India!”

Frankie opened her mouth to say something but all she could do is stare at this tall, freckled faced green eyed woman who carried some kind of stone strapped to her back.

“And as The Gravekeeper of Souls, I take my job very seriously. I mean if it’s that powerful that I felt it on another continent, it was going to be bad!”

“Excuse me.” Frankie finally piped up “I’m sorry I don’t follow.”

The woman gave a cute sheepish grin “Oh right. Sorry. I travel a lot so I forget who knows me and who doesn’t. I’m Yorrick! Yorrick the Gravekeeper of Souls!”

“Okay. And you are here….?”

“Oh.” Yorrick gave a little nonchalant gesture “Some powerful spiritual entity is about be unleashed and probably raze your city to the ground.”

“WHAT?!” Frankie could feel her blood pressure rise.

“Raze. You know destroy, obliterate, consume. Hee consuuuuuuume. Fun word.”

Frankie’s face paled “Are you serious?”

Yorrick smiled brightly “As the grave. But I’m here so it’ll be okay. Probably. Anyway I need to call a meeting of the Watch. Can I do that here or…?”

“There’s one tomorrow.” Frankie weakly answered.

“Excellent! I’ll come back then. Good night! Thanks for all the help!”

and just like that, Yorrick vanished into the storm, swallowed whole by the dark though Frankie could hear her excited laughter amid the rain and thunder.

“This is going to be fun!” Yorrick’s voice called happily from the shadows.

Frankie decided it was better to sit on the floor.

For the rest of the night.

[swaps55]

Hi hi helloooo do you have more of this multiverse AU??? I read your snippet and loved it and I desperately need more! I love your work btw thanks for writing and sharing with us ❤️❤️❤️

I DO. Thank you so much!!!!!!

I've scribbled a fair amount for it, but like I said in the other snippet, I'm struggling mightily with what this story is and how to shape it. I know fundamentally what I want from it, but there are a lot of roadblocks. Right now I have a beginning, a few haphazard scenes with no context, some very vague ideas, and...profit????

One of my big hangups with it is whether or not I should break my golden rule and tell parts of it from Sam's POV, because this is a very different Sam, while still being Sam, if that makes any sense. And a chunk of what I have in mind would work really well from Sam's POV, and lose a little something if I don't use it. BUT. It's so important to me to not use his POV, which leaves me very conflicted.

ANYWAY, the general idea got sparked by a conversation the 'Yang crew has about the multiverse. One of my favorite ST:TNG episodes is Parallels, in which a ton of Enterprises from different multiverses wind up in the same universe - including one in which the Borg are winning, and one in which a Will Riker who failed to save Picard from the Borg gets to see him alive and well in another reality. So I did some what if thinking. What if Sam doesn't get resurrected by Lazarus? What if the reapers are winning? And what if a Sam from another universe - who never met Kaidan because there wasn't a Kaidan for him to meet - magics the Kaidan who never got him back into his universe, in which the reapers haven't made themselves known yet?

It sounded like a REALLY fun character study of Sam - what makes him Sam - and what changes about him when you change the major events of his life that shape him? While also being an opportunity to flip the script, and make Kaidan the enigmatic, closed off person that Sam has to figure out. With the underlying very sappy theme, "There was a universe in which Sam didn't have Kaidan, and one where Kaidan didn't have Sam, so the universe fixed it."

I am sure that is way more than what you wanted to know, so as a thanks for putting up with it, here's the snippet you requested:

~

Karin Chakwas lets out a shaky breath as the biofeeds stabilize and the patient’s breathing returns to normal. She takes a moment to let her own breathing return to normal. She glances over her shoulder at Sam, who still sits in his chair, staring at the hand now lying limp and loose under his.

It’s almost reassuring to know she isn’t the only one having a time of it.  

“Sam Shepard, I told you it was only a matter of time before I regretted the day you showed up in my clinic.”

“You did.” He tears his eyes away and slips his hand free, offering her a wan smile. “For what it’s worth…thank you. Hate to think about what would have happened if I brought him somewhere else.”

She worries her lip. You may still find out if we’re not careful. For years she’s turned a blind eye to the veritable parade of mishaps he’s brought through her clinic without asking why – the less she knows the better – but the ID on the genetic scanner won’t give her the luxury of feigned ignorance.

As it is, the fact she hasn’t already contacted the Alliance is going to put her in an uncomfortable position once they find out. But there are reasons you take leaps of faith, and one of those reasons is sitting in that chair.  

“In for a penny, in for a pound,” she says brightly. “I’ve listed him as a John Doe in the system for now, but it won’t be long before C-Sec starts asking questions.”

“And they won’t like the answers.” He rubs his nose with his hands, then props his chin on his fingertips. “I’ll get Garrus on it to buy us some time.”

A smile curves her lips. “Eventually, you may find Garrus’ limits when it comes to bending the rules.”

“Doubtful. And it sure as hell isn’t going to be today.”

“Sam,” she asks, because she has to. This time, she has to. “There have been no reports of weapons fire on the Presidium today. How—”

He smiles wryly. “How did someone who’s been dead over fifteen years wind up in your clinic with a bullet hole in his gut, ranting about the end of the world?”

“Well. I would have put it more delicately, but…yes.”

[allisondraste]

Cockroaches and Other Things That Just Keep On Living

Fandom: Mass Effect

Ship: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian

Word Count: 4019

Summary: It's only been two weeks since the Reaper War ended, and the Alliance is already trying to bury Shepard.

[Click Here for A03]

Two weeks.  It had only been two weeks since the war ended, since that devastating flash of red light burst from the Citadel and bounced off every active relay in the galaxy, since the Reapers fell dead in space and the Normandy crash landed on some tropical little human colony world just on the edge of the Terminus Systems.  It had just been two weeks, but the Alliance and the rest of the whole damn galaxy were already willing to declare Shepard dead.  And to add insult to injury, they’d  given Garrus the great honor and privilege of hanging her name up on a memorial wall in some trite ceremony to make the crew feel better.

“There isn’t anyone who could’ve been at the epicenter of that blast and survived,” Hackett had explained, far too matter-of-factly. “It’s time for us to move forward.”

“Shepard isn’t just anyone,” Garrus had replied, and then promptly told the admiral where to shove his plaque. It was not his finest moment.

Now, he sat in the mess hall, alone and staring down at the dextro-amino rations he’d barely touched. The bastardized version of some overly seasoned human dish would have been unappetizing even if he had an appetite. But he didn’t.  Something about the person he loved being declared dead left a sour taste in his mouth.  He’d only even tried to eat because Liara insisted, and he wasn’t in the mood for another well meant lecture about taking care of himself.

No longer willing to bother, he shoved the plate away from him with the back of his hand, and looked up in just enough time to catch Williams walk past him.  She stopped, performed a proper about-face and marched up to his table.

“Hey,” Ash greeted him like she’d never spoken to him before in her life.

“Hey,” Garrus replied and watched as she shifted uncomfortably and darted her eyes around the entire room before meeting his gaze.

She motioned to an empty seat across the table from him. “Can I— I mean, do you want some company? You just look—”

“Like I’m one news vid about the ‘late’ Commander Shepard away from going postal?” He let out a derisive snort. “Yeah.”

Williams smirked and  eased herself down onto the bench without waiting for him to agree to her company. “I was going to say ‘like shit,’ but that works too.”

He answered her dryly. “Gee. Thanks.”

There was a pause in conversation, then Ash tilted her head in that sympathetic way every human who knew him seemed to do since Earth. “Seriously though… how are you holding up?”

I’m not , Garrus thought, but the words didn’t make it to his mouth, just sarcasm.. “Didn’t realize you cared… or is this just one of those human things where you pretend to care for my benefit?”

She leaned back and raised an eyebrow. “Do I seem like the kind of person who pretends to do anything for anyone’s benefit, especially yours?”

He laughed. “Fair.”

“Listen, this is off the record but… Hackett had that mouthful coming.” She laughed and shook her head. “I’m just glad it was you that said it and not me because, well, I like my job.”

If anyone had told Garrus that one day, he’d have a heart-to-heart with the human woman who’d spent their entire first mission together shooting daggers at him from across Normandy’s shuttle bay, he’d have said they were crazy.  But there they were, raw from the absence of someone who meant so much to the both of them.

“It’s been two weeks,” he muttered, looking down at his hands. “ Two. They haven’t even found her bod—“ he tried and failed to choke back the lump in his throat,  but continued talking anyway, glancing up at her— “It’s too damn soon, Ash.”

“I know,” came her firm reply as she reached across the table.  She hesitated for a split second, but then let her hand fall on top of his.  Deep brown eyes welled up with tears that she tried to blink away.  She let out a frustrated huff as one rolled down her cheek anyway, then cleared her throat.  “ Damn. Pretend this isn’t happening.” “Pretend what isn’t happening, Williams?”

“Perfect,” she remarked, wiping her face with the heel of her free hand and laughing. “Kind of hard to believe it’s only been three years since we tracked down Saren.  Feels like a lifetime ago.”

“And look at us now, being mostly civil,” he said with a sigh, staring down at Ash’s hand.  Alien as it was, it reminded him of Shepard’s, strong to be as small as it was, with too many fingers.  He recalled the many times those fingers had traced the hard edges of his face, how that hand had fit so comfortably into his (after a few clumsy attempts, of course).  He’d take another missile to the face to hold it again.

“You know, Shepard worked her ass off to convince me it’d be fine having aliens on board an Alliance vessel,” Ash observed playfully, pulling him from his thoughts.

“You? Paranoid over a handful of non-humans? I’m shocked .”

“Nothing personal,” she explained,“Just didn’t feel comfortable sharing a station with a guy whose grandpa probably shot at mine during the War.”

“Hate to break it to you but—” he leaned back in his seat— “My grandfather was just a run of the mill C-Sec officer.  All he would have done was write your grandfather a nasty citation. ‘Being human in Citadel space,’ used to be a finable offense.”

“God,” she said with another laugh, “Back then, I rolled my eyes and told Shepard I’d do whatever she wanted me to do. ‘You tell me to jump, I ask how high.  You tell me to kiss a turian, I’ll ask which cheek.’”

“We don’t really have cheeks,” Garrus corrected, laughing when Ash shot him a pointed look, “But that’s beside the point.  I’m guessing Shepard never followed through with that order.”

“No, she told me, and I quote, ‘Nobody’s going to be kissing any turians on this mission, Ash,’” she said in her best Shepard impression, then muttered, “Fucking liar.”

“Well, to her credit, I don’t think she planned on me being so… irresistable.”

Ash snorted and rolled her eyes. “Okay, ladykiller .”

There was another pause in conversation, and her expression fell.  She looked down to where her hand still lay on his. “Back then, I just assumed you’d jump ship as soon as things got rocky, as soon as we— as Shepard — really needed you, but…” She trailed off, grip tightening around his hand.  “You never let her down, not once.  Not even when I—”

“You didn’t let her down, Ash,” he argued, sensing where she was headed, “She never thought that.”

“Yeah, well I do,” she snapped, words clipped, “I should have seen the signs that Cerberus had her pinned down, but I let my ego get in the way.  I’m surprised she wanted anything to do with me after that.”

“You’re not the only one who has ever screwed up trying to do the right thing,” he reassured her, “Shepard, of all people, understood that.”

“That’s… you’re probably right,” she nodded and looked up at him, “Thanks. And for whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“Uh, sorry for what?”

“For ever believing you weren’t an important part of the crew,” she stated seriously, then smiled, “And for calling you birdbrain  behind your back.”

Garrus’ mandibles flared in amusement, and he gave her hand a few friendly pats. “No harm done,” he said, then paused for a beat, “Besides, you didn’t hear what I said behind your back.”

One of her eyebrows shot up. “You talked shit about me?”

“So much.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute,” shouted a familiar voice from across the mess, causing them both to snap their heads toward the sound. “Somebody get this heartwarming moment on camera.”

Ash stiffened, retracting her hand quickly and stuffing it under the table. “Joker.”

“Hey, Joker.” Garrus waved. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” he answered, words pointed. “You know, aside from the soul-crushing agony of my girlfriend dying. ”

Garrus had spent enough time around humans to know that the Flight Lieutenant looked rough, even for someone who’d never cared about keeping up appearances.  His eyes were red, the skin underneath dark enough that even the shadow cast from his hat couldn’t disguise the lack of sleep. He made his way unsteadily to the table and sat down next to Williams.

Garrus opened his mouth, preparing to speak, to express sympathy, but Joker cut him off. “And before you start with any of that ‘I understand how you feel’ crap— no you don’t.  Everyone knows you can’t say Shepard’s dead until we’ve ID’d the body.  Maybe not even then. She just keeps living… like a cockroach. ”

“You know you could just say, ‘I’m not doing so hot,” right?” Ash scolded him,  but there was still a softness to her voice. “You don’t have to be an ass about it.”

“Yeah, but see… being an ass is way more my style.”

The table went completely quiet as Joker crossed his arms over his chest and scowled, tension palpable enough it might as well have had mass.  Not one for tolerating awkward silences, Garrus ventured a question. “What the hell is a cockroach?”

Ash smiled, clearly thankful for the change in subject, and began to explain. “They’re these—“

“ Beetles ,” Joker cut her off, “Big, disgusting ones that are supposed to be able to survive extreme conditions other organics can’t.”

“Sounds about right,” Garrus admitted with a shrug.

The pilot flinched and glared at him. “Wait. I called Shepard a disgusting beetle and you’re just okay with that?”

“Are you kidding? Why wouldn’t I be,” he asked sarcastically, “It actually explains why she kept molting. ”

“You’re having fun. Stop it,” Joker whined, scowl deepening, “Stop having fun!”

Garrus laughed and threw his hands up in surrender. “This isn’t exactly my idea of fun. My cockroach is missing.”

Joking though he was, his words were honest, something Joker must have detected.  His expression softened even as he puffed his chest out. He deflated immediately as another familiar voice called out, likely interrupting whatever barrage of barbs he’d prepared to hurl at Garrus. This time, it was Vega who strutted over to the table carrying an entire fifth of some sort of human liquor.  Cortez trailed solemnly behind him, examining the rectangular objects in his hands.

“Yo, don’t tell me the party started without us,” shouted Vega, setting the alcohol down on the table with a loud clank , pointing a thumb back at Cortez, “Esteban here took forever polishing the name plaques.”

Garrus stiffened at the mention of the plaques, knowing full and well there had been one commissioned with Shepard’s name on it despite all his protests. Turned out, the Alliance brass didn’t give a damn about some loud mouth former C-Sec officer or his feelings after all. He just hoped none of the humans were able to read the pain in his expression— a hope that was in vain if the sympathetic glance Cortez gave him was any indication.

“What’s that for?” Ashley pointed to the bottle of amber liquid Vega sat on the table.

“What do you think,” Vega asked, as if his intentions should have been completely clear, “I’m going to pour one out for the commander.”

“All over the Normandy's floor?” She raised her brows at him.

“Nah.” He gave her a dismissive wave. “Just down the sink or somethin’.”

She picked the bottle up and examined the label more closely. “But…this is expensive stuff, James.”

“Don’t care,” came Vega’s indignant response, “It’s for Lola.”

Ashley gave him a solemn nod, seeming to understand whatever peculiar human tradition he was planning to perform. Satisfied, Vega turned his attention to Joker, snagging his cap, flipping it around, and placing it down on his head backwards. Joker cursed and grumbled, calling Vega a bully among other things, but Vega just smiled and walked over to Garrus, giving him a supportive clap on the shoulder.

Slowly, the rest of the crew began to filter in, each with their own expressions of concern.  Traynor and Tali arrived together, deep in conversation if the emphatic hand gestures were any indication.  They both quieted as they arrived at the table, Traynor frowning and bowing her head, whileTali approached and slid comfortably  into the seat next to Garrus.

She looked down at the uneaten food and back up at him, giving him a nudge with her elbow and complaining. “You are wasting all of the good dextro rations.”

“Good? Oh, come on,  we both know it’s garbage.”

“Well… yes, but it’s digestible garbage,” she said, holding a finger up to make her point.  Her voice softened when she continued. “And you’ve hardly eaten anything the past few days.”

He sighed and looked down at the rations. “Yeah.”

Tali observed him for a second, eyes glowing behind her helmet. She then grabbed his plate and slid it toward him. “Eat up, Vakarian. Or else I will have to feed you myself… with a spoon I am pretending is the Normandy.”

Garrus let out a laugh despite himself. “I don’t think that’ll work, Tali.”

“You don’t know that.  You haven’t heard my engine noises.”  She laughed along with him for a few seconds, then grew quiet once again and gave him a gentle pat on the back. “The Alliance is going to feel very silly when Shepard gets back and they have to explain why they hung her name up on the wall and sold her hamster.”

“ If she makes it back this time.”

“She will,” Tali asserted, voice cracking, “She has to.”

It was Javik who entered next, voice booming in a debate with Liara, who had taken it upon herself to explain human customs for memorializing the dead. He shook his head and ignored her entirely, stating that if he wished for a history lesson, he would ask for one.  He then snapped his many-eyed gaze to Garrus.

“You should not be saddened about Shepard’s fate, Garrus.  She died with great honor.”

Liara let out an exasperated sigh, and sat down in one of the empty seats at the next table over, bringing her hand to her face.

“What is it, asari?” Javik snapped, “Honor in death is something turians hold in high regard, is it not? This should be a great comfort to him.”

“Perhaps with time,” Liara explained,”But right now it is… insensitive.”

“It’s nothing my dad hasn’t already told me a dozen times,” Garrus stated flatly, “I appreciate the sentiment.”

Weird that a fifty-thousand year-old Prothean reminded him of his dad.  Then again, Castis Vakarian was as about as traditional as turians came, and they butted heads on almost every subject, including but not limited to: Garrus’ disregard for rules, his decision to leave C-Sec—twice, his “risk- and attention-seeking” behavior, and his “absurd infatuation with a human woman”. Their relationship had always been strained, to say the least. Still, he had always been there when Garrus needed him, and listened when it mattered. He was the first call Garrus made from the medbay after the Reapers were destroyed, when he realized Shepard might not be coming back.

He’d been sympathetic, but not even remotely comforting, not unlike Javik was at present. Garrus just didn’t have it in him to explain to either how little he cared about the honorable nature of her sacrifice, the high esteem the galaxy now held her in, or the way history would remember her. None of that mattered when she wasn’t at his side.  How could he be proud, when all he felt was empty?

Once all parties arrived and settled in, the group spent time talking and sharing memories. The Alliance crew members all told stories about encounters with Admiral Anderson, how he more often felt like a parent than a commanding officer, and how his reputation was so much larger than his ego. Traynor did most of the talking about EDI, their friendship, and how seamlessly she’d fit into the crew, how easy it had been to forget she was an AI. Joker just pulled the bill of his cap down to cover his eyes.  Then, the reminiscence moved to the commander.

Every single person present had a story about Shepard, about how she went above and beyond the call of duty to help them, and to make sure they were taken care of while aboard the Normandy.  Shepard had always taken time to check in with the people who worked for her, even when the galaxy was falling apart and herself along with it.  She was a good leader, arguably the best, and an even better friend.  It was clear that everyone in the room admired her, and that she was missed.

Garrus knew he should say something, tell one of the many stories of the trouble he and Shepard had gotten into together. The others all watched him expectantly as he scrambled for words.

“I—“ he began, but was interrupted by the buzzing of his omni-tool, followed by several bright flashes of light. He cursed and pulled up the interface to silence the damn thing.  An urgent message alert flashed on his screen, and he tapped the icon to open it.

From: Dr. Chloe Michel

Subject: Jane Doe

Dear Garrus,

I hope this email reaches you, and that you are still alive to read it.  I am on the Citadel working with an emergency medical unit out of what is left of  Huerta Memorial. The blast from the Crucible caused some severe structural damage near the epicenter, and we have been searching the area to find and identify survivors and remains.

There is a Jane Doe here, who I believe you might know. Please contact me on a private channel whenever you are able.

Take Care,

Chloe

His heart sank like lead into his gut as he read what could only be a request to come in and identify a corpse.  The space around him was suddenly too full, too loud, and the curious eyes of his companions lingered on him for far longer than comfortable. He tapped the display on his omni-tool once again to close it, glancing around the room from one set of eyes to another.

“It’s nothing,” he lied. The truth would only cause unnecessary alarm he wasn’t equipped to handle at the moment.  He stood abruptly, a jolt of pain coursing through his leg that was still recovering from a fracture, and excused himself. “Just need to make a quick call.”

“Now,” Liara asked, frowning, “But the memorial ceremony was just about to begin.”

“So start without me,” he snapped and made his way to the main battery.  He’d apologize later, when his world wasn’t caving in.

The battery doors shut behind him with a familiar hiss and he sank down into his seat next to the workbench where his favorite rifle lay surrounded by tools and unused thermal clips. It had taken a beating in the battle on Earth, and Garrus had poured over repairing it in the days following its end.  He hadn’t touched it since.  There were no more enemies to fight, and the gun just reminded him of Shepard.

Bringing up his omni-tool once again, Garrus established a link using the information Michel provided him.  He only waited a second or two before a voice on the other end picked up.

“Garrus,” exclaimed the woman, “I am so glad you received my message.”

“About that Jane Doe,” he began, cutting straight to the chase, “I— do you need me to identify the b— her ?”

“No… it is Commander Shepard,” she explained, “I am absolutely certain.”

“ Oh, ” Garrus said with the breath he’d been holding.  He was glad he was already sitting down, as the last shreds of hope he’d been clinging to slipped from his grasp leaving him dizzy and sick.  It was Shepard.  She was dead. There was nothing to be done about it.

He took a minute to collect himself and his thoughts, cleared his throat and told the doctor, “I, uh…I’m not really sure how to— I mean, I guess I should make funeral arrangements. That’d be better than letting the Alliance—“

“Garrus,” Michel interjected firmly, “She’s alive.”

“ What,” he asked, more loudly than he’d intended.  Hoping nobody had overheard outside, he lowered his voice and continued, “I mean, how is she? What’s her condition? Is she going to—”

“I won’t lie to you,” the doctor interrupted again, “Her injuries are serious, and she has been comatose since we found her.  Still, her vitals are strong and stable at present. She is a fighter.”

“She is.”

The line was silent for a beat then Michel spoke up again.  “I had a wonder… Shepard’s body has, ehm… extensive cybernetic modification. More extensive than I have seen. We are not certain how, or if it is even possible to repair all of the damage.”

One name came immediately to mind. “Miranda Lawson.”

“Pardon?”

“You need to contact Miranda Lawson,” Garrus clarified,  “She is an ex-Cerberus operative, the scientist responsible for Shepard’s upgrades. And a friend. She will be able to help. I can send you her contact information.”

“Good, yes. I will contact her immediately,” Michel replied, relief noticeable in her voice. She then sighed and said, “I apologize for sending such a vague email.  I am realizing now that it was likely… anxiety provoking. I simply did not wish for the wrong people to find out about Shepard’s survival.”

Garrus huffed, “Yeah, if the media caught wind of this, it’d be a circus.”

“That is what I feared,” she agreed with a sigh, “Besides, I thought you should be the first to see her. I know she is important to you.”

“Thank you, doc. For everything.”

“It is the very least I can do.  I owe my life to the both of you. Twice over, now it would seem:”

“I’ll get to the Citadel as soon as I can.”

“Talk to you then.”

The call ended with a beep and Garrus shut off his omni-tool display, staring blankly at the wall on the opposite side of the room for several minutes, attempting to recover from the emotional whiplash the last half hour had given him.  He took a deep breath, rose to his feet, and headed back out to the mess hall.

All eyes turned to him as he made his way toward the memorial wall just outside the elevator.  EDI’s and Anderson’s names had already been placed, tears already shed. Now they looked to Garrus, Cortez approaching with the name plaque meant to commemorate Shepard’s death. He took the polished silver plate and examined it, light glinting off its corners as he stepped up to the wall.  For a long moment he traced the letters of a name that had come to mean so much to him, to those crowded in the narrow hallway around him, to the hundreds of thousands who’d cheered from ships in the massive fleet she’d rallied and led to victory, and to the billions of lives she’d saved across the galaxy.  Shepard deserved so much more than a name on a wall.

And now, just maybe, she could have it.

Garrus would have preferred to keep  Shepard’s survival to himself, to snag her from the hospital and elope to some secluded tropical paradise where nobody could ask anything of either of them again, except “Would you like a refill on that incredibly alcoholic beverage?” But he knew he couldn’t do that.  After all, he was not the only one who loved her.

Lowering the plaque, he turned to face the others, all of whom looked at him with a mix of confusion and concern.  He glanced down at Shepard’s name again, mandibles flaring out reflexively as relief and excitement swelled in his chest.

“They found her.  They found Shepard,” he told them, bringing his eyes to meet their gazes as he spoke. “She’s alive.”

[bluerose5]

First Impressions (Part 1)

Word Count: 1,726

Rated T (Warnings for Swearing, Canon-Typical Violence)

Summary: What if, after receiving that call from Garrus while he was pinned down on Omega, Castis tries to track him down?

"Are you sure it was him?"

"I'm sure." Alec's smile turned mocking, the vitriol directed more towards himself. "I'm no Shadow Broker, but I still have my list of contacts here on the Citadel, even if it's dwindling by the seconds."

"Alec—"

"I don't need your pity, Castis." His smile fell, a subtle frown curling at the edges of his lips. "Besides, I'm doing this as a favor for a friend. Father to father. You know how it is."

"Yeah," Castis Vakarian sighed, "so I do."

It had been quite some time since the elder Vakarian graced the Citadel with his presence, but ever since he received that call...

"You finish up what you have to do there, and then you come on home to Palaven. We have a lot to sort out."

Even now, the echoes of gunfire rang in his ears, but not as much as the resignation in Garrus’s voice.

"Target practice," Garrus had called it.

As if an experienced C-Sec officer with common sense couldn't tell the difference between target practice and an all-out gunfight.

Even now, Castis's chest tightened.

The thought of losing Garrus now, especially when his mother's condition wasn't showing any signs of improvement—

Castis couldn't stand the thought. He couldn't lose both his wife and his son all at once.

When Garrus never reported back, he had to do something. After he spoke with some old friends on the Citadel, Alec Ryder put out some feelers of his own at his friend's request. For a while, there was nothing.

Then, they got a hit.

The Normandy SR-2, arriving to the Citadel from Omega. A ship flagged by Citadel Control's security algorithms for having alleged ties to the pro-human extremist group known only as Cerberus.

It was under the command of no other than Commander Shepard.

Why was Castis not surprised?

Between his and Alec's contacts, they had been able to discern that there were indeed aliens listed as part of the ship’s crew. A surprising move, given the organization's history, but Castis was far from calling them friends. Just because they expanded recruitment beyond their own species did not make them allies.

Add in a Spectre miraculously back from the dead, and the whole situation reeked of trouble.

Alec agreed, so they approached the matter with caution.

Thankfully, Solana understood when Castis had to drop everything and go. All that she asked was that he return home with the knowledge that Garrus was safe. That's it.

Of course, that wasn't enough to satisfy him.

Castis knew that Garrus was alive now, but that wasn't enough.

The next time he and Alec were pinged, they received intel stating that Garrus was spotted poking around the shipping sector of Zakera Ward with Commander Shepard, seeking out a notorious forger. For what? Spirits only knew.

The only other info that they had was that there was a drell and a quarian accompanying them as well.

While they awaited positive IDs on those two, they continued following Garrus’s trail, questioning the loose-lipped volus who was more than happy to give up Fade's position after his lousy bodyguards wandered off for a break.

Eventually, they were led to Harkin's position. It wasn't exactly hard to figure out that Garrus had already been there, what with the trail of bodies and mechs they left in their wake.

Seeing Harkin curled up on the floor, the bastard took one look up at them, then swore under his breath.

"Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me," he spat. "First your son, and now you? Haven't you Vakarians done enough?"

"Heh," Alec chuckled. "We're just getting started, tough guy."

Tapping at his omni-tool, Castis sent out an alert. While he dealt with Harkin, Alec approached the open console nearby, downloading all of its content, including the most recent call to a client.

"Have fun explaining yourself to C-Sec, Harkin, or is it Fade now?" Castis paused, crossing his arms over his chest as he peered down at him. "You can't resist making a fool of yourself for even a second, can you?"

"Hot take, coming from you." Harkin sneered. "You can't even keep that hot-headed son of yours on a leash. Bet C-Sec was glad to finally have his insubordinate ass off the force."

Castis saw red.

He took a step forward, but Alec's hand came down onto his shoulder, stopping him in his path.

"He's not worth it," Alec reminded him gently. As C-Sec swarmed the area, Alec jerked his chin in the direction of the door. "Come on. Let’s go find him before it's too late."

They strolled out together, heads ducked close and voices kept low.

"Did you find anything?" Castis asked.

"More than enough," Alec assured him. "Garrus is looking for a turian by the name of Lantar Sidonis."

"Can't say I've heard of him."

"Hmm..." Alec hummed thoughtfully to himself. "There was a location sent to set up a meeting. Orbital Lounge."

"Good work," Castis said, but Alec shrugged off the praise. "Let's go."

They stopped to make a quick change in a clothing store along the way. They got dressed in casual attire, posing as a couple of friends enjoying the sights.

By the time they made it to the lounge, Castis was already getting antsy. He struggled to maintain his cover, his eyes darting this way and that.

Alec elbowed him in the side.

"Calm down," he warned. He turned towards a random window display to glance over the selection of model ships. "Maintenance walkway above. Over your shoulder and to the right."

Castis snuck a peek as soon as he had the chance to.

He felt all of the blood drain from his face.

Turning quickly back towards the display, he hissed under his breath, "He has a rifle."

Alec shushed him before they could attract too much attention.

"I know, but do we really want to announce that little fact to the entire plaza?!" he whispered frantically.

Right.

Taking a deep breath, Castis composed himself. Usually, he wasn't this bad at remaining undercover, but the stakes were too high —too personal— to ignore.

It was hard to remain calm when your son was about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

Killing in a public place...

What happened to make him fall so far?

"I spotted someone up there with him," Alec said, breaking Castis of his reverie. "Shepard, maybe?"

Looking around at the crowd, Castis shook his head a moment later.

"No, not Shepard. Look. To your left."

Alec followed his line of sight, then ducked his head back down.

"Her, the quarian, and I'm assuming that's Sidonis," Alec said, counting them off one by one. "Which means that might be the drell up top with Garrus. A lookout, perhaps?"

"Hmph."

That was when Castis noticed the spotting laser.

His pupils narrowed into thin slits.

"No."

Alec stopped him again, stepping out in front of him with his hands spread wide.

"Wait, wait, wait," he ordered. "Let's see how this plays out first."

Castis turned on him with a glare.

"My son is about to commit a murder in plain sight, and you want me to wait?" he snapped.

"I want you to think clearly," Alec corrected. "Take another look at who the spotting laser is trained on."

Staring him down, Castis huffed impatiently, but quickly complied. They couldn’t afford to be stuck at an impasse at such a crucial moment.

One look was enough to clear up the image that had been blurred by emotion.

What in the—

"No." Castis shook his head in disbelief, but that didn't change what he was witnessing. "No, Garrus is too fond of the Commander. He wouldn't hurt her."

The conviction with which he spoke surprised even himself, but Garrus's attachment to Shepard was undeniable, as much as he was loath to admit it.

Even then, he couldn’t deny what was right there in front of him. The spotting laser was focused on the back of Commander Shepard’s skull, clear as day.

However, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together.

When Sidonis moved, Garrus followed him, but the Commander was instantly there to block his opening.

There were a few tense moments where words were exchanged, far too quiet to hear from where Alec and Castis were positioned. They went back and forth for a bit, and Castis admittedly feared for the worst when both Shepard and Sidonis started to leave.

The second Garrus had a clear shot at Sidonis, Castis held his breath.

But the shot never came.

"Well," Alec muttered, "that was anticlimactic."

Castis glared and punched him in the shoulder.

"Ow!"

"That's my son, Ryder."

With a grumble, Castis dragged Alec along. Their hunt wasn't over yet.

"You should meet mine. I feel like if Scott would've let him go, then he would have somehow managed to pull the trigger by accident. A real stroke of bad luck, that one."

"Spirits."

Strolling through the crowds, they laid low for as long as they could.

By the time they found Garrus again, he was talking with the others by a skycar terminal, presumably waiting on a cab.

A whole flood of emotions came crashing down on Castis at once, and there was no holding back. Not anymore.

Ignoring Alec's warnings not to do anything rash, Castis stormed off in their direction.

Insane how, after so many years of being friends, the N7 was only choosing now to try to be the voice of reason when Castis wanted to be anything but.

Out of everyone, the drell noticed him first, regarding him with suspicion.

Before he could warn him, Castis called out, "Garrus!"

The other three instantly froze, right before they turned to face him.

Garrus’s eyes widened, his mandibles falling slack as he gaped.

"Dad?"

"'Dad?!'" Shepard and the quarian echoed, shocked by such an unexpected turn of events.

The drell, on the other hand, didn't seem the least bit perturbed.

"Ah, his father," he hummed, nodding in understanding. "Your presence in the lounge makes sense now."

Alec's brow furrowed.

"Hold up, you knew we were there?" he asked skeptically.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call you two 'subtle.'"

"That doesn't matter!" Castis snapped.

Clenching his jaw, his mandibles were clamped down tight.

Time to get this meeting back on track.

"Garrus, we need to talk."

[saltybiowarefantears]

ari if you could change how garrus' romance was initiated in mass effect 2, how would it go?

aaaaaand GO

Ok ok, I know this has sat in my inbox for longer than I care to admit because I kept waiting for my vague and wild hand gesticulations to somehow manifest into words. That didn't happen. BUT I will still attempt to translate the flailing because I have some Thoughts™ (just not terribly coherent ones).

Two biggest issues I have is 1) it's buried under 20 layers of dialogue wheels to trigger and if you miss it, whoops, out of luck and 2) how it's constantly pushed as a friends with benefits one night stand thing right up until he visits Shepard's room. So let's go a little deeper on each of these:

1) Buried romance trigger - It's decently common knowledge, or at least it was closer to Mass Effect 2's release, but for those who don't know, both Tali and Garrus were added romances at the behest of fans and the confusion of the devs. I know that's not 100% true, but the general idea of they listened to fan input on which squad members they wished they could romance. Now for Garrus at least, since I'm not as familiar with Tali's, feels exactly like that - second thought tacked on at the end. It's as though the devs were thinking "They can't really want this romance... do they? Well... if they're persistent enough then they'll find it while we dangle Jacob and Thane on a string in front of fem!Shep." The straightforward remedy for this is is to, well, be more straightforward about it. If you change nothing of the dialogue itself except maybe Shep asking how Garrus releases stress wink wink nudge nudge, then that can naturally flow into his reach and flexibility story and then Shep's proposal. Essentially, it needed to be a bit more available and obvious for those pursuing the relationship instead of stumbling on it by happy accident... like some people (me I'm some people).

2) The proposal and framing of the relationship - Now this is me more griping as for personal preference, so take whatever you will from this part. I... don't like how 70% of the romance is portrayed in ME2. Ffs I wrote and drafted a whoooooooole fan fic around my headcanon to explain the behavior better and provide internal dialogue during the whole thing (thank you two idiots who think the requited love is unrequited hence the haha that'd be stupid... unless? trope). Before anyone gets to upset, this is what I mean. I adore their banter, their playfulness, the fun they have teasing each other about the upcoming night. That's great. Love it. Again, my problem is the emphasis on how it's never discussed as being anything more right up until Garrus lowers his guard and shows his vulnerability during the final romance cut scene. Now I have absolutely nothing against friends with benefits or one night stands, don't get me wrong. I wish we were given an option to tell Garrus how we felt about him and the whole thing five minutes before sleeping together. Maybe second romance cutscene with him, provide a binary option of Shepard telling him their relationship expectations and see if he agrees or not. Either keep it casual as it's more like in the game, or allow modification of Shepard wanting them to be more than friends and an invested interest in being with him. Then in ME3, you can reestablish your desires as either being friends, being more than friends, or breaking it off with him. That'd allow more flexibility in how players wanted to pursue the relationship. Would they ever do something like this in the future? Absolutely not, that's way too much extra dialogue and work for one romance. Can a person dream? Yes. (Please note too when I'm using phrases like "friends" and "more than friends" I'm not implying one of them is better than another, it's that my brain is incapable of coming up with better phrases right now.)

Ok anyway tl;dr for that waaaaaaaaaaay too long answer is 1) make the dialogue option to initiate the romance with him more obvious with a line such as Shepard flirtatiously asking how Garrus relaxes and 2) give the option for Shepard and the player to tell Garrus if they want the relationship to be more causal or not.

[dispatchwithlove]

For the battery percentage ask: 76 for either Garrus or Jane (or both!)

76%. If your character could "unmeet" someone in their life, who would they choose? Oh damn 👀 This question is super interesting! And I didn't have an answer for it straight away, but I'll try to take a whack at it I don't think Jane would really want to unmeet anyone. I see her as trying to see the good in every encounter or relationship, or understand and accept some things in life are inevitable. She's never had a terrible break up (from her side at least, if we asked the guys they might say something different, lol). She has a very loving relationship with her family members. I considered the krogan she killed to save Garrus's life, and I don't think she'd even wish that encounter away, because she understands she and Garrus have a dangerous job and she can't wish bad things away. She even sees the positive in meeting the truly terrible people they encounter working in Homicide -- she learns about murderers by talking to them, and she gets better at her job by interacting with them. Maybe the closest she'd get is wishing she never met Donnel Udina, just because he's such an obnoxious, uninteresting bitch, haha. Oh sweet Garrus, he gets a bit angsty. I think for a good chunk of his life he oscillates between wishing he'd never met Cama (his first and only love until Jane), and holding on even tighter to his time with her. Losing her, and feeling like he failed her, is so painful that he regrets meeting her sometimes, and falling in love with her. But other times he's thankful he had the chance to fall in love so deeply. From the experience with Cama, he'll appreciate his love with Jane more, and understand how to communicate better. So once he heals, he'll appreciate having met and loved her. Beyond Cama, I think Garrus genuinely wishes he could unmeet a lot of people, from his first grade teacher who chastised him for not paying attention, to terrible people he met while in Special Ops and Homicide, to the barista who scowled at him one morning 😆

This was a fun one, and actually helped me flesh these two out a bit more. Thank you!!

[swordsandshields99]

Chapters: 1/7 Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Additional Tags: Friendship, Friendship/Love, Romance, Fluff and Smut @cactuarkitty - thanks! :)  Day 1 - Beach Day (Tried to give it a Citadel DLC vibe) Smut in Italics and sectioned, feel free to skip :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yo, Shepard, can we talk to you for a second?” Jack’s voice came across the comms. “Sure thing. Did someone break something?” Shepard tried to tease the biotic. “Not yet, but I can’t promise not to break the cheerleader's arm if she doesn’t stop tapping her fingers on the console in a condescending way.”

Shepard sighed and put down the armor she was cleaning. She made her way to the elevator. “Hey Edi, if anyone is actually about to kill each other, let me know.”

“Of course, Shepard. If I were to inform you each time Jack complained about Operative Lawson, I believe you wouldn’t have any free time.”

“True enough,” Shepard chuckled. The AI was really growing on her.

Shepard exited the lift and turned into the mess hall, and was surprised to see her entire ground crew sitting around the long table. She glanced at Garrus, but he gave nothing away, other than popping a mandible out to the side in a sarcastic half-grin. “What’s all this about?”

“Shepard, it seems the crew have been discussing our current course of action,” Miranda started.

“You mean, our current course of non-action?” Shepard cut in.

“Yes,” Miranda said slowly. “Garrus has been adamant that he has tried to persuade you not to return to the Alliance.”

“He has, and as I told him, I’ve made up my mind. It’s something I have to do.”

“You don’t have to do shit,” Jack countered.

“You could go to the Council, Shepard. You’re a spectre, with spectre authority. They’ll be just as displeased as the Alliance, but they can use that authority to ride out the storm. The Alliance is just going to lock you up. Or worse. You don’t deserve that.” By the time Tali finished, she was wringing her hands and bouncing slightly on her feet.

Shepard looked down, “Listen, I appreciate your concern. But if I don’t go and take the fall, the political fall out will be detrimental to the Alliance. I might be a Spectre, but everyone in the galaxy knows where I came from.”

There was a horribly awkward silence in the room.

“I promise, I won’t let it affect any of you. Your names will all stay out of the report, and I will be adamant about the fact that I went there alone.”

“I could give two shits about what other people think. I still think you should take me up on the piracy thing,” Jack said, crossing her arms and nearly pouting. Shepard nearly laughed at the stance. Jack looked back at her. “It’s a nice ship. Stealth drives and all. Perfect opportunity wasted.”

“She’s not wrong,” Kasumi said, appearing out of thin air next to Jack.

“FUCKING SHIT!” Jack said, “God damn it I hate it when you do that.”

Kasumi blew her a kiss as she disappeared.

“Siha, it appears you are not willing to change your mind,” Thane said as calmly as ever.

“I find it admirable,” Samara nodded her head.

“I think falling on your sword to protect the very people who put you in the situation, the same people who expect you to follow orders blindly and not take responsibility for their own actions, isn’t exactly admirable,” Garrus said darkly, still leaning back in his chair.

Shepard knew he was angry. She didn’t blame him. But she kept a cool mask of command on her face. “I’m not changing my mind.”

“Then we would ask for a few days dry-docked. For repairs,” Miranda said slowly.

“Repairs? I thought we were nearly done with repairs. You all have been working around the clock on the Normandy.”

“Yes, well, there’s a few things we could take a look at on the outer hull. It’d be safer on the ground. We thought perhaps, since we’re close, we could stop here.” Miranda pulled out a map and pointed to a spot on the planet below. “We’ve actually been planning this since we left the Bahak System.”

Shepard blew out a small stream of air.

“The crew needs a break, Shep,” Garrus said.

“And time to say goodbye,” Tali added.

“Fine,” Shepard said. “You have anything to add Joker?”

“Not since you ever so reasonably agreed, no. Setting a landing trajectory now. Ready EDI?”

“Ready, Jeff.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

Shepard was sitting at her desk, finishing the last of the reports she had. She’d always hated filling out reports. Now though, she thought she might end up missing even this. She wasn’t sure what the Alliance had planned for her. A trial? Jail time? A harsher sentence? She didn’t think they’d hand her over to the Batarians, but the thought was still there in the back of her mind. When she had mentioned it to Garrus, he said he’d be there breaking her out before she even reached a Batarian system. And she hadn’t argued.

Just as she thought of him, he walked through her cabin doors. “Done with those reports yet?” he drawled.

“This is the last one,” she said as she signed off and sent it. “Done.” She blew out a breath and stretched her arms above her head. She looked over at Garrus, and saw he was carrying a duffle bag, and was dressed in shorts and a Turian style t-shirt. She couldn’t help but chuckle, “I know you’re not on duty, but that’s a little informal. Aren’t you freezing?”

“I am freezing my ass off Shep, but I won’t be for long. Let’s go.”

“Onto the surface?”

“Yeah, where else? I’m not letting you spend your last shore leave in this cabin.”

“Hmmm,” she said suspiciously.

“Here,” he said as he threw the duffle at her. “Put these on.”

Shepard opened the bag and rose her eyebrows at him, “I can’t tell if this is practical, or if you just want me in a bikini.”

Garrus laughed, throwing his head forward and shaking it slightly. “Maybe it’s both?” He took out the sunscreen from her bag. “And don’t forget this.”

“Do you need some too?” she asked as she started spraying it on.

He shook his head. “The sun and radiation would have to be a hell of a lot stronger for me to need something like that. Palaven’s sun throws a lot more than this one.”

She nodded, “All right, all right Mr. Tough Guy, I got it.” She stripped off her civvies and threw on the bikini and sun dress. She put her hair in a braid that came over her shoulder. “All right, let’s do this.” She wouldn’t have planned a vacation. It wouldn’t have felt right. But her crew planning it, or needing it? That was a different story. And she was grateful.

They walked throughout the empty ship towards the cargo bay doors. “Where is everybody?” she asked.

“Already down there,” he said. “I think they were excited.”

Shepard stepped off the ship and was shocked. It was stunningly beautiful. It reminded her of when her parents had taken her to Jamaica once when she was young. “Wow,” she said softly. There was nothing within many kilometers of them. Not a soul in sight other than their ship and crew. “A private beach?”

Kasumi walked up to her with a small cooler, “Take your pick, Shep,” she said with a smile. There were beer and wine coolers. Shepard took one and thanked Kasumi. “The Dextro beers are all over by Tali,” Kasumi said before she skipped away.

"She’s even in a cloak on beach day,” Garrus rumbled, wiggling his brow plates at her.

Shepard laughed and walked towards Tali, “Go get a beer, big guy.”

“SHEEPPHHEEERRDD,” a loud voice boomed from a ways down the beach. Shepard looked down and saw Grunt splashing through the water with a small pistol, shooting at fish. “This is fun, heheh,” he said to himself as he picked up a fish he had somehow managed to shoot.

“Aww,” Zaeed said sarcastically before rolling his eyes. The man was sitting on a lounging chair with 5 beer cans on the sand around him. He laid back, closing his eyes before saying, “Good day Shepard. Good day.”

Joker was sitting next to the man with his eyes shut as well. “If I get a sunburn, I’m blaming you.”

Shepard threw her sunscreen at him. “If you get sunburned, you’ll worry EDI.”

“Har-har,” he said grumpily as he started spraying the sunscreen.

Thane was down the beach further, on the opposite end of Grunt Shepard noticed, showing Samara something that resembled Tai Chi. Actually, Shepard was pretty sure it was Tai Chi. She could still remember all the moves from when she took classes aboard her mother’s starship as a kid. She joined them silently, and allowed herself to meditate peacefully.

Once she’d had enough, she stopped, unsure of how much time had passed. Samara and Thane gave her small smiles as she walked away. She found Garrus was shooting blanks with a sniper rifle into the trees. Suddenly, Shepard saw the shimmer of failed shields and Kasumi’s cloak came down. “Damn!” the thief swore. “How in the hell did you know where I was that time?”

Garrus shrugged, “A gentlemen never tells.”

Tali swooped in from behind and jumped up to grab at his visor. “I’ll give you two guesses,” she said as she inspected it.  

“Hey!” Garrus said, in a more shocked tone than Shepard would have expected. “Give that back,” he said as he pushed down on the Quarians helmet, reaching up so the visor was far out of her reach.

“Alright Garrus, no visor,” Kasumi said as she disappeared.

Garrus held the visor in one hand and aimed with the other. It took 10 seconds before he placed his next shot, and Kasumi’s shields went down again. Kasumi grumbled and switched on her cloak again.

Garrus’ eyes went wide and he hunched over his weapon slightly. Shepard heard him make a small noise of satisfaction before pulling the trigger.

“Oh, you’re good, Archangel,” Kasumi purred as she sauntered up to him. “I can see why you’re into him, Shep,” Kasumi called over to her.

Shepard just waved back with a grin and kept walking down the beach. There was a slight bend and suddenly she could see Mordin by the water, bent over looking at something. As she approached, she realized he was poking around some kind of sea creature with a stick. She stood next to him quietly as he observed it. “At first, wasn’t looking forward to ‘beach day’,” he said with air quotes. “Looked forward to comradery of course, but can get that on ship, or in lab. Surprising results. Thoroughly enjoying discovering new marine wildlife.” She saw his eyes flick back towards the sand. “Perhaps will try hand at fossils and shells next.”

Shepard smiled. As Mordin continued searching the shallow waters, Shepard started searching for shells on the beach. When she found what she thought must be the most beautiful one on the beach, she walked back over to him and handed it out to him.

“Ah!” he exclaimed, turning towards her and taking the shell. “How interesting! Gastropoda, free of inhabitants. Periostracum still slightly spongy, not old. Whorl, apex, aperture all typical. Extremely symmetrical. Red and orange in color, unsure of internal structuring.”

Shepard waited patiently as he continued his analysis until he stopped suddenly. He looked down at her and took a deep breath. “Beautiful. Thank you, Shepard.” He put the shell in one of his lab coat pockets.

She rose a brow, “That’s rather sentimental for you, isn’t it doctor?”

He shook his head, “Sometimes, sentimentality - appropriate. No point to life without the enjoyment of it.”

Shepard smiled at him. “Some friends make that exceedingly easy to do so.”

Mordin seemed genuinely taken aback, but nodded enthusiastically. “Indeed, they do.”

Legion walked up behind them, “Shepard Commander, are you searching for marine wildlife? This unit believes it can be of assistance.”

“Doctor?” Shepard asked.

“Hmmm, could prove useful in cataloging findings. Legion, please assist in cataloging findings of new marine biology.”

“Nice, thanks Legion,” Shepard said with a smile.

The Geth’s brow plates rose and fell quickly, “This unit enjoys being useful.”

Shepard rose her brows at Mordin. Before their adventures, she doubted Legion would have used the word “enjoys” at all. “I’m glad,” she said back before turning around.

She let them continue their search in the waters as she made her way back to the group. She came around the bend, and saw Jack, Jacob, and Miranda teaching Garrus and Tali how to play Volleyball. “Shepard, we need another player!” Jacob yelled out.

“I’m in,” she said as she ditched the sun dress and dug her toes into the sand to run towards them. “I grew up on a ship, but I managed to learn how to play. They know the rules?” she asked, pointing towards Garrus and Tali.

“I think we’ve got it,” Tali said.

They played for nearly an hour before they tired themselves out. “Forgot you had about a ½ a meter in height on us Vakarian,” Jacob grumbled as he and Miranda walked off towards the drinks.

Garrus shrugged with a grin, “What can I say.”

“Want to cool off in the water?” Shepard asked.

Garrus looked out at the ocean apprehensively, “Uhh… yeaaah, I’m not so sure about that.”

“Look, we don’t have to go in too deep. Mordin found a nice quiet spot around the bend a ways, there are hardly any waves at all. Just go in to your waist and get cooled off with me.”

Garrus sighed heavily. “Fine.”

They walked till they were just past Mordin and Legion. “Alright if we swim here?” She asked him.

Mordin came up from his studies. “Of course, Shepard.” Then he rose his brow at Garrus. “Aware of Turian aversion to submersion in waters. Interesting. Found a cove 20 meters that way. Completely shallow and secluded from waves and wildlife. Should be more comfortable.”

Garrus looked at Shepard and she could tell he was about to say no to the whole thing. “Alright, thanks Mordin, c’mon scaredy cat. Let’s go to the cove.”

“Shepard, I have no idea what a scaredy cat is. Is it some kind of pet?”

She laughed and marched forwards.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The cove was beautiful. There were trees above keeping it mostly in the shade, and the water was calm and shallow. Shepard waded in and it only went up to her chest. “C’mon Garrus, look, it’s not deep. It won’t go up to your cowl, for sure.” He looked at her with a look that said he’d rather jump in a varren pit. “I’ll make it worth your while?”

He rose a brow plate, and dipped his feet in. The water was warm at least, so he continued until he stood next to Shepard. She took a step into him so that they were touching and wrapped her arms around him. “Alright, it’s not so bad,” he said reluctantly.

She gazed at him with a look that could melt metal, and took a deep breath in, before slowly sinking below the water. “Shepard,” he said nervously, although he knew she couldn’t hear him.

Shepard held onto his hips to stay below the water with one hand, and started moving his shorts aside with the other. Garrus’ breath hitched. He couldn’t help the rush that went straight to his groin, and he also couldn’t help but still feel nervous in the water. Shepard pushed him back and he took a few steps backwards until his legs hit something when they were nearing the edge. A rock. She pushed him again and he stumbled awkwardly, sitting on the rock. She came up for air and kissed his mandible, sucking on the tips. Garrus groaned, digging his talons into her waist. She submerged again, and he held his breath, partially out of anticipation of what she might do next and partially out of nerves for her being under the water. He knew humans were better with that, but it was ingrained.

He suddenly felt a small tongue lick up the seams of his pelvic plates and he groaned again, digging his talons through her hair. He felt small fingers dig between the plates in his waist. She came up for air again, straddling his lap to kiss him. She ground her hips against his. She was weightless, floating above him, ghosting over his plates, until she pushed herself down into him and began grinding harder into him. “Shepard,” he growled as he nipped at her neck. She suddenly went back under water and nipped at his pubic plate quickly, and licked all the way up and down his seam slowly. He felt his seam part as he groaned loudly, bucking his hips into her as his erection began to grow, emerging from his seam. He felt her lick at it until it came all the way through, and she sucked his cock into her mouth as it grew.

“Fuck,” he said as he threw his head back and bucked his hips. She sucked hard, head bobbing up and down twice before she had to come up for air. She was panting hard and she straddled his lap again, slowly lowering herself onto him, until  his tip was hilted within her.

Shepard moaned loudly and rocked back and forth slightly with her hips. He felt her muscles contract around him a few times and he groaned. Shepard grinned at him before lifting up and moving back down. He could tell it was harder for her in the water, and he placed his hands on her hips and began lifting her up, and slamming her down onto him. It didn’t take long before they were both panting, and it just wasn’t enough. He put her legs around his waist and stood, walking to the back of the cove, he pressed her back against the stony wall and pushed himself into her with a grunt. Shepard squeezed her legs around his waist, one arm holding on around his back, the other wrapped around his neck with her hand massaging under his fringe.

She was so tight, and he hadn’t yet been fully inside her. He took his finger and massaged the nub he knew drove her wild. Shepard began moaning loudly. “God, yes Garrus, fuck,” she groaned. Slowly, with each thrust he pushed further and further inside of her until even the bulge of his base slipped inside of her with a pop. Shepard screamed at that and held on tighter. “Don’t stop,” she screamed, and he didn’t, couldn’t really. He felt her come hard, her walls squeezing him. “Garrus,” she panted. Garrus couldn’t speak, he was too far gone. He merely groaned against her neck as he continued pounding into her, faster and harder.

“Come inside me, Garrus,” she moaned, and he lost control. He came hard with a roar, continuing to pump inside her in erratic thrusts. His body completely enveloped hers against the stone. She was so small, wrapped up in his arms, and he curled around her, willing himself to stay standing. He felt her kiss his mandible lightly. “God, you’re sexy.”

He chuckled, kissing her forehead, “So are you.”

Shepard slipped down and swam in the water to cool off before they headed back. Garrus sat back on the rock and watched, enjoying the view and surprisingly, the cool water around his waist.

--------------------------------------------------

Shepard and Garrus walked back along the beach, hands brushing often. The sun was setting, and it was creating a beautiful glow around them. The whole team was sitting, watching the sunset when the pair joined them.

The group was quiet, reflective. Even Grunt, to Shepard’s surprise. He was growing up, after all. Shepard leaned against Garrus’ shoulder, and they sat there until the sun dipped below the horizon.

“Alright you bunch of pussys,” Zaeed said, elegantly as ever. “Round two.” He started throwing beer bottles at everyone.

“That’s more like it,” Jack huffed.

“Bonfire’s made!” Jacob said as he got the largest bonfire Shepard had ever seen lit using driftwood from the beach.

The team drank under the numerous stars. There were drinking games and songs, friendly wagers and shoot-the-bottle competitions. It was 3 in the morning before they packed up and headed inside. Shepard held Garrus’ hand to pull him back behind the crew and gave him one last kiss under the stars.

[dearophelia]

combat, i’m ready for combat

long live :: seven of wands :: combat, i’m ready for combat

It's suddenly become very important that Hannah knows what her child faces when she jumps out of a shuttle.

“Zaeed suggested we do an Armax match,” Hannah says, over coffee.

“That's,” Olivia blinks and looks up, starting to approach morning coherency. “That's actually a really good idea.”

“Liv.” She'd been hoping Olivia would help her talk Zaeed out of it. While part of her knows that running through at least one match is the good and sensible thing to do, the rest of her wants to stick her head in the sand and pretend that reapers are just some nightmare that will fade away when she wakes up. They aren't, but that doesn't stop her from hoping.

Olivia swallows a mouthful of coffee and then covers a yawn. “It's a good idea. It'll help you feel comfortable shooting at things that are moving. Hopefully,” she starts a new sentence before Hannah can jump in, “hopefully you'll never have to. But,” she pauses, “I’d feel a little better, I know Zaeed would, and I think you would too, if the first time you had to hit a moving target was not the first time you'd tried.”

Hannah sighs. Zaeed would cancel if she really wanted and Olivia won’t push it if she asks her not to. But much as she doesn't want to admit it – they have a point. She can hit a stationary and labeled target pretty reliably, but in reality that isn't going to do her a damn bit of good.

***

Olivia uses her pass to book the Arena after hours one night. She's been using it for practice with her team, trying new tactics, weapons, and squad configuration. Armax is more than happy to let her have it after the incident with their scoring system.

Hannah watches in fascination as Olivia straps on her armor. She's seen her daughter in full battle gear before, but never watched the process. Boots, greaves, helmet, gauntlets, shoulders – all black with bright purple accents. Garrus helps Olivia with the shoulder seals of her chest piece and then she's in. Olivia shakes out her arms and bounces around a bit, making sure everything's properly in place.

She actually looks excited.

They're fighting holographic enemies. There's no audience, nothing real at stake. And yet Hannah's scared out of her mind. And her daughter is grinning.

Olivia cracks her neck and turns around. Her grin immediately vanishes – Hannah wonders just what expression was on her face to cause Olivia make an abrupt left turn like that – and she gives her a quiet little comforting smile instead. “I promise. No one's out there. They're not recording this. We're playing on bronze. We've,” she gestures to herself, Garrus, and Zaeed, “got you covered, Mom.”

That Olivia considers this playing is something Hannah thinks she ought to have examined by a professional. “Remind me why we're doing this?”

“Because actual reapers don't stand still in a shooting range with a target on their foreheads.” Zaeed comes up behind Hannah and kisses her cheek. Hannah leans into him a little.

“Be nice if they did,” Olivia says, rotating her shoulder. She got caught by a charging brute last week and she's still a little sore. “How's the armor feel?”

Hannah twists her torso. She's borrowing a set from Liara; Armax requires armor for all combatants and Olivia looked at her like she was nuts when she mentioned renting some from the arena. It fits a bit awkwardly – too tight in the shoulders, too loose in the chest – but it's so much lighter than the suit Ashley offered. She can actually move in this one without feeling like the local gravity quadrupled. “Strange.”

“You get used to it,” Olivia says and checks the capacity on her Black Widow.

Hannah's not sure she wants to get used to armor, but doesn't say so.

“Ready?” Zaeed asks.

Hannah blinks.

“You don't actually have to do this, Mom,” Olivia says quietly, taking a step closer so the two men know to keep their noses out of it. “Say the word. We'll cancel the whole thing and go get dinner.”

Hannah shakes her head and takes a sharp breath. “No. Let's do this.”

“You sure?” Olivia puts one gloved hand onto her mother's arm.

Nodding, Hannah settles her hand over Olivia's. “Yeah.”

“Alright,” Olivia gives her arm a little squeeze she can't feel through the armor and lets go. She stands next to Zaeed and Garrus at the elevator doors. “We're gonna be on Giant, which is a pretty big map. So if all else fails – run the other way.”

“That's your last piece of advice?” Hannah steps up onto the elevator platform with the others. The elevator rises into the arena.

Olivia shrugs and the map starts to load around them. “Works every time. Good hunting.” She taps each of the guys on the shoulder.

“Good hunting,” Garrus and Zaeed echo, giving Olivia and each other the same pat. They take off to set up on opposite sides of the map.

Hannah turns and again finds her daughter grinning beside her as the drone counts down to the beginning of wave one. “Am I going to hate this?”

“Probably,” Olivia says, and motions for Hannah to crouch down behind a crate. “Shoot at the stuff that shoots at you, run when we tell you, and it'll all be over in less than twenty minutes.”

Hannah takes a deep breath as cannibals start to spawn.

***

Three matches in and she gets the hang of it. It even starts being a little fun. The others rack up medals and points and headshots, but Hannah gets a little less scared, a little more willing to run out of cover, as they keep going.

“That doesn't count,” Garrus says as he and Olivia stand beside a smoking ravager corpse.

“Why not?”

“It doesn't have a head. You can't get a headshot on something that doesn't have a head.”

“Zaeed,” Olivia says into their comms, “we need a judgment call here. Oh,” she gently pulls Hannah back, away from the corpse. “Don't stand in ravager blood.” There's a look in her eyes that tells Hannah she tried that once and it ended badly.

“Did the arena record it as a headshot?”

Olivia pulls up the kill feed on her omnitool as the next wave starts to spawn. “No.”

“Then it doesn't count.”

“I got it right in the center circle thing!”

Hannah starts to fidget. There are enemies – on the other end of the map, but enemies heading their way – and these three are just standing around in the open arguing the validity of a headshot. She ducks behind a container.

“Doesn't count,” he repeats.

“Oh, stop,” Olivia scolds. She turns around and shoves her omniblade into the husk that had been hitting her. “Fine, the ravager shot doesn't count.”

As the others seem unconcerned by the banshee or the brutes headed their way, Hannah begins to realize just how easy they've been taking it. This – lazy enemies with grenades that hardly touch her shields, one banshee at a time – is not their reality.

It's not her daughter's reality, which stirs up something low and scared at the base of her spine.

“Make it harder,” she says when the match is over.

“You sure?” Zaeed asks.

Hannah nods. “Yeah.”

Silently, Olivia bumps it to silver.

A match later, Hannah has to watch from her visor's spectator mode as Olivia solos the back half of wave ten. A lot of things went sideways: Zaeed got slammed into the floor by a brute, Garrus got picked up by a banshee, and she got eaten by a cannibal before she had a chance to revive herself.

(It was for the better. She'd be useless to Liv anyway, probably a liability. They got all the devices activated, at least.)

The arena camera cuts to a front angle of Olivia, who doesn't look scared or even challenged while she works on the two banshees. Mostly she looks bored. Bored and a little hungry.

Olivia takes cover around a door and reloads her Black Widow. With a centering breath, she pops around the corner. In two final shots, both banshees scream and fall. She grins, blows imaginary smoke off the end of her rifle, and winks at Garrus as he stands up and dusts himself off.

This still isn't Olivia's reality.

Hannah swallows, hard.

She pauses behind the others as they get off the elevator after the match. “What does it look like when you're actually fighting?”

Olivia freezes and slowly turns around. “What do you mean?”

“When you're out there, fighting. What's it like?”

There's a look that passes between Olivia and Zaeed. It's a heavy look, a protective look, a we agreed not to tell her about this look, and it nearly makes Hannah cry.

“Tell me,” she insists.

“It's usually like gold. Sometimes the single-enemy platinum waves,” Olivia says softly. Her eyes briefly flick sideways – she's lying, understating reality to make her mother feel better.

“Can we,” Hannah's throat is suddenly dry and it has nothing to do with the exercise. She swallows. “Can we try that?”

It's suddenly become very important that Hannah knows what her child faces when she jumps out of a shuttle.

A look passes between all three of them this time, but it's less heavy, more calculating. Can we carry her through this?

Hannah's dead weight and she knows it, but as the seconds tick past, this becomes more and more something that she has to do. She needs to know that she can stand in front of the same things Olivia can. She runs a fucking bakery, but there's no way in hell she's okay with her kid being out there, trying to save a galaxy that seems hell bent on not being saved, when she can't even face Olivia's daily life when it's presented to her in a holographic combat simulator.

“I soloed Platinum a couple times,” Olivia says, breaking the brief silence.

Hannah hears the translation: we'll be fine. The two men shrug and nod in agreement.

“We can do gold, but in a couple days. I think we're done for the night.”

Without another match in front of her, Hannah realizes how exhausted she is. Olivia, Garrus, and Zaeed look like they could go a few more rounds, but they're career soldiers. She works out regularly, but she's not nearly in the shape they are. She nods as she turns her back to Zaeed so he can help her unseal her armor. “Okay.”

Hannah doesn't see the look on Olivia's face.

The one that begs him, Please talk her out of this, I don't want her to know.

[writtenjewels]

Getting the Mind off Work

He activated the door and found Kaidan pacing back and forth with a report in hand. The biotic glanced up and greeted Shepard with a smile.

“Hey, Shepard. Why didn't you warn me about all this Spectre paperwork?”

“What, and ruin all your fun? I'd never.” Kaidan smiled a bit wider. Everyone who knew the two of them well was remarking on how much happier they both were lately. Even the newer crew members like Steve and James made comments on how Shepard was smiling more these days. Sometimes the comments grew a bit teasing.

“Should I be warning him not to break your heart, or vice versa?” Liara had asked.

“Oh, so that was sexual tension between you two,” Garrus mused. “I thought it was some strange human thing.”

“Good, I didn't want to compete with you on the dating front,” was Steve's remark.

There were a lot of things that were terrible about this war. The one upside was that no one gave a damn about breaking rules.

“Would you like some help getting your mind off work?” Shepard offered.

“I don't know, Shepard. I have all these reports I need to file.”

“Kaidan.” Shepard moved in and took the report out of the other man's hand, setting it aside. “You know how sometimes you force me to sit down and take a breath? That's not going to be a one-way street with us. You're already worried about your mom and your students. The reports can wait.” Kaidan's brow furrowed but he didn't argue. He obediently sat down with a little smile playing on his lips.

Shepard moved around to stand in front of him and studied the biotic's posture. Still too stiff, in his opinion. He bent down to place his hands on Kaidan's knees and tried coaxing the man's legs apart.

“What are you doing?” He didn't hear any rejection so he glanced up at Kaidan's face. The biotic simply looked confused. Shepard felt a hard twist of nerves. They both talked about wanting to be more physically intimate but neither knew much about how. It'd been a little embarrassing when he asked EDI to help him look up information.

“It's just...” Shepard squeezed Kaidan's knees gently. “I see all you do, Kaidan. How much you push yourself, how hard you fight. I'm going to be there to pull you back every now and then, just like you are for me.” His hands slowly moved up Kaidan's legs and this time he felt no resistance when he pushed them apart. “I've been, ah, researching, and I, ah... wanted to...”

“Take my mind off work?” Kaidan suggested. His eyes had darkened a bit and he was shaking.

“If I do it right, you're not going to do much thinking at all.”

Kaidan chuckled softly. “That would be something.”

Shepard kept his hands on Kaidan's legs to brace himself as he sank down to his knees. He felt another twist of nerves and idly wondered what someone else would think seeing him like this. Commander Shepard: savior of the Citadel, bane of the Reapers, battlemaster, first human Spectre... here on his knees. Except right now he just felt like a very nervous man about to cross a physical threshold with his boyfriend. In a weird way it was a relief that he wasn't expected to be confident or skilled.

He moved his hands up higher and felt around to unclasp the belt around Kaidan's waist. He forced his fingers to stop trembling long enough to work it loose. Shepard got a peek at the standard-issue underwear. He was wearing the same kind himself.

“Research, huh?” Kaidan huffed. He lifted his hips a little so Shepard could move the trousers down enough to expose Kaidan's crotch. “Wonder if we looked at the same sites?”

“I could ask EDI,” Shepard suggested teasingly.

Kaidan shut his eyes and groaned. “Please don't.”

Shepard chuckled. He slid his hand down past the waistband of Kaidan's underwear and pulled out his cock. His eyes shot a quick glance up to make sure Kaidan liked it so far. The man's face was flushed, his lips slightly parted, his eyes glassy. No one else has seen him like this, Shepard realized. How did I get so lucky? He felt a pull he couldn't resist and pushed himself up to press a kiss onto Kaidan's mouth. He felt a brush of tongue across his bottom lip and gasped at the spike in arousal. Shit, he wanted more of that.

But he wanted something else more, so after a lighter kiss he moved back to his original position. Shepard got his hand back around Kaidan's cock and began stroking and squeezing. Kaidan's eyes flickered before falling closed and he leaned back, letting his legs fall more open to give Shepard room. Shepard watched as the pleasure of his touch took over Kaidan little by little. His heart-rate picked up the moment he felt Kaidan's cock start to stir in his grip. He slid his hand down to grip the base, using the other to hold tight to Kaidan's hip. He pressed his mouth on the tip, gliding his tongue up slowly.

“Ah, shit!”

“What?” Shepard jerked back instantly.

“Nothing.” Kaidan's hand was a bit shaky as he rested it on Shepard's shoulder. “Nothing. I didn't expect...”

“Did you like it?” That was the important part: he didn't want to do anything if Kaidan didn't want it.

“Yeah,” Kaidan assured him in a husky growl. “And you're right, it's taking my mind off anything except feeling more of that.”

Good enough. Shepard repeated the motion and this time didn't stop when Kaidan reacted. He tried to remember what he saw in all those vids but was becoming increasingly distracted by Kaidan. The man was damn vocal: grunting and gasping and moaning and cursing. Whenever he made a particularly interesting noise, Shepard did the same thing just to hear it again. Thank god the ship walls were thick because when Shepard got his mouth around Kaidan, the man nearly screamed.

“Jesus Christ, Kaidan, you're going to have the whole ship wondering what I'm doing to you,” Shepard scolded him.

“This,” Kaidan hissed back, “is nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you.”

“Really.” Shepard raised an eyebrow and got his mouth around Kaidan again. Kaidan grunted, digging both hands onto Shepard's shoulders.

“Really,” he growled.

Shepard wanted to know what the biotic meant by that, but his mouth was a little busy and the way Kaidan reacted made Shepard very reluctant to stop. Nothing in the vids prepared him for what it would actually feel like to have a man's cock in his mouth. The taste was something to get used to and Shepard was trying to figure out what to do with his teeth. He kept his mouth as open as possible to avoid that issue altogether, but he still had his tongue and a growing urge to swallow.

He finally did and got another loud response from Kaidan. His fingers dug harder into Shepard's shoulders and he felt more of the man's length slide inside his mouth. It pulled back almost at once. Shepard very deliberately swallowed and this time he was the one pushing forward to get Kaidan in deeper. It was thrilling to have Kaidan fill his mouth like this. Shepard tried to remember what happened next in the vids.

Between the two of them, they figured out just how much Shepard could swallow down before it got uncomfortable. Every noise Kaidan made got Shepard's blood hotter and his own trousers tight around the crotch. What really got him going was when Kaidan started scratching through his buzzed hair. And the way he thrust his cock in, slow but deliberate. Shepard shut his eyes tightly and let out a muffled whimper.

“Hnnngh, John,” Kaidan sighed. Shepard was already having trouble breathing and that stole the rest of it away. He got his mouth free and stared up at Kaidan.

“What?”

“Huh?” Kaidan blinked dazedly.

“You said my name,” Shepard told him. When Kaidan still looked confused, the commander clarified: “My first name.” He couldn't remember the last time he heard it spoken out loud. Maybe when he was a kid? Over the years he got so used to being called “Shepard” he nearly forgot he even had a first name. But of course Kaidan would know it. “Would you say it again?” Shepard requested.

Kaidan stared down at him. His thumbs brushed along Shepard's jawline, smoothing down his throat. “John.” Amazing how much feeling a person could put into a single syllable. Shepard didn't know if he moved on his own or if Kaidan lifted him, but in a few heartbeats they were face-to-face and kissing again. Shepard could get lost in those kisses were it not for the erection pressing urgently against him.

“Kaidan, I want to... let me...”

“Are you going to... finish?” So Kaidan had seen at least one of the vids Shepard looked up.

“If you want me to.”

“I do. And John?” Kaidan lifted his face for another kiss. “I want to do the same for you.” Shepard swallowed and ducked down to get back to work. He was really liking this side of Kaidan a lot. And when it was his turn, the whole ship was probably going to hear just how much he liked it.

At least Shepard was making good on his promise: neither of them were likely doing much thinking at all.

[frecklef0x]

Mass Effect 1: Playthrough Masterpost

At last, I have finished Mass Effect 1!

I have heard some mutuals say they wish they could play it again for the first time, and you kind of can--through me! I’ve been posting little “episodes” of live-tweet-stream-of-consciousness as I play, and now I’ve compiled them into one post to make my life easier.

Anyway, here’s the first one, the rest are under the cut. :)

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode one

My ass looks great in this uniform, first of all

Impaled robo zombies, yikes

Cheap shot, Saren, smh. How will I pass my spectre test now?!

Why does he have robot eyes? Is he like, Geth-Turian? Why? Is he a robo zombie also? Was it the beacon???

Cool beacon nightmares, I'm sure this is fine

This Kaiden guy has implants? ORTEGA?!??!?

"Call me princess again and you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor" lol obliterated

The citadel elevators are very realistic, five minutes of tense silence huh

Ya girl got a PROMOTION and a DOPE SQUAD time to catch a TRAITOR

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode two

First things first, gotta go find the blue scientist to join the gang

This galaxy is HUGE! How many of these places will I actually be able to go?!

Only two friends at a time????? D:

Ah, a distress signal, let's see wha--A DESERT CENTIPEDE NOPE ABORT ABORT

Robo aliens? In MY Theronian mining facility? Its more likely than you think

Running over dudes in my Mako is extremely satisfying tbh

*runs over geth troopers* *runs over geth armature* *runs over geth colossus* ... *backs over geth colossus*

Working elevators in the ancient ruins ✔

Oooooooh man hope this nerd is gay

Wrex, a friend of yours? Nope, not a friend, too murdery

"ShAaaAame about the ruins Shep, sOooOo much collatoral damage, SHEP" stfu Council, "ruthless" was in the resume when you promoted us, 10/10 would shoot lasers through archeological digs again

When Kaiden calls us "ma'am" I am, uh, into it

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode three

Time to talk to the gang! Gotta meet the fam proper

Oh dear seems we got a shmee of racism on board, compatriots

Wow Raina, good foot-in-mouth moment with Wrex there huh...sorry about the eventual extinction of your race, lost this round of Pain Olympics

OH SHIT OH SHIT BLUE HOTTIE BIGENDER? THIS IS NOT A DRILL???

“hi I’m Kaiden wanna hear about my last crush ;)” “hi I’m Liara wanna hear about Asari mating rituals? ;)))” damn we really slidin right into the DMs no chill

Garrus: fuck rules and red tape amiright Raina: oh u right ;)

Guess I’ll actually do a mission now LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

Honestly rolling out with Tali and Liara is a mood, squad goals

Raina @ every corporation on Noveria: I would sell you to satan for one(1) corn chip

This reactivation puzzle is some shit

I see some Mistakes were made

We already killing moms at this stage damn BioWare

FUCK FUCK BENEZIA KILLED ME AND I LOST A FUCKTON OF PLAYTIME

THERES LIKE NO AUTOSAVE IN THIS BITCH FUUUUUUUUU

fuck fuck fuck god damn it gotta shoot a bunch of deranged baby bug people again god DAMN IT

Okay we killed Liara’s mom in front of her hope that’s fine

And we let mama bug go free because after talking to Wrex, Raina’s like “this galaxy is a little trigger happy with the genocide, good luck out there bug mama ❤️ be cool please”

I have literally watched the scientist in the hot labs get killed three times now

So far the debreifs with the council have not gone very well

“You let bug mama go?! How many generations until they take over everything???” “My money’s on two :D Place your bets now assholes or stfu :DDD”

Asked Liara if she was okay and she seems pretty Cool With It

I hope to one day return to Noveria and Death Star it into oblivion

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode four

Talked with Tali and this situation with the Geth and the Quarians is giving me an existential crisis

You “inspect” my beautiful ship? You got somethin’ to say about my crew??? Talk shit get hit, bitch I will kill you

Yoooo my old earth gang, yeah what the hell, I’ll help ou—oh nope nvm he’s a xenophobe, you hang him and I’ll shoot his friend in the face, thx for your time

Went to the citadel to finish some assignments, left tasked with twice as many

“dOn’T cUt CoRneRs” fear not dear Kaiden, I have a permit: this piece of paper that says I do what I want

Still with the elevators, I really cannot with this

“You make it all sound so...dangerous...” ;) ;))))))

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode five

Headin’ to Virmire to rendezvous with the Salarian team

A cure for the genophase?!?!?! :D

Oh wait oh no are we for real gonna talk about destroying the cure like Wrex isn’t standing right here omg

SHIT GUYS NO NOT LIKE THIS WREX PLEASE

Phew for a conversation that basically started with guns drawn, it went pretty well... “What Saren has isn’t even a proper cure, he’s just fucking with the Krogans at this point. Are we gonna stand for that? Or are we gonna murder?” “Damn Shep, you right, we gon’ murder”

Okay Ashley, go join the aliens, try not to die

Shadow Team!🎵 tearing through the base 🎶 disabling all the     defenses 🎵 (you gotta sing it to the tune of the Trogdor song)

We free the prisoners!!! :)

We shoot the prisoners??? :(

“Raina? How can you shoot them where they stand?” So it’s more merciful to let them explode? NAH FAM

This scientist is responsible for the mind control stuff? For Benezia? Fine     I’ll let her go but I hope she explodes

We did not learn our lesson concerning beacons I see

Wait if even Saren is worried about his mind control ship does that mean there are larger forces involved here?

Oh. Oh fuck

Ugh Ashley I EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU NOT TO DIE

(so we really never found any info about that genophase cure huh? disappointing)

Oh Seren, you dumb dumb. You absolute fool. Clown man.

When Raina slings Kaiden over her shoulder to carry him to the ship—mmmmmmmmwoooow I am very bisexual

Bruh Raina takes every council call and she disconnects pissed off every time

WAIT I literally just hung up with the council, ASHLEY is DEAD, and Kaiden needs a DTR RIGHT NOW?!?!? Boy, NO, READ THE ROOM

This has been a stressful day

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode six

Shepard will avoid her feelings and go to Faros instead

Seeing Ashley’s figure greyed out and her locker inaccessible makes me sad

Wrex and Garrus, let’s go shoot some geth 💪 

A mind controlling planet—of course!

Shep gets all her renegade points shooting capitalists

Saved, uh, about half the colonists

If I have one more bad acid trip I stg

Oh nope here’s another one

Shep needs a nap

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode seven

Ah, the council. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.

At least Liara is good at pep talks ;)

Joker, you cockblock

Haha DUDE we airborne, you THOUGHT

Now that I am exiled from the Citadel, guess I’ll run some galactic errands:

o   Killed corporate scientists who though we would rescue them lol

o   Destroyed a bunch of geth camps helping Tali on her pilgrimage

o   Disabled a nuke and killed some pirates

o   Shut down some evil Cerberus experiments

o   And illegally traded information!

Okay time to get back on track

So we may or may not be flying to our doom

OH GOD LIARA LOVES ME!!! RAINA, YOU DISASTER, YOU DID IT AAAAAH ❤️❤️❤️

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode eight

You know what I love? Being murdered by geth armatures

All these Ilos ruins be looking the same

Security panel is only kinda helpful

Oh, luckily I know Prothean now!

“CANNOT BE STOPPED” wow very encouraging, thanks

After that super motivating message and disabling security, its time to go down, down to goblin town

Vigil? Oh word?

My girlfriend is GEEKING out

I knew something what wrong with that fucking Citadel

Vigil: information is power. Also Vigil: What does it matter why they do what they do? All that matters is you stop them

“non-essential” personnel die first, huh? GROSS, VIGIL (gotta be honest that hits different in 2020)

Garrus gets it, I knew we liked that guy

Okay, find conduit, save galaxy, break millennium-old genocide cyle, nbd

Ugh Mako you gotta do me dirty one last time I see, I hate this thing

THE CONDUIT STRAIGHT YEETED MAKO

The citadel robot says we’re doomed : )

This shootout is SO fun, seriously

Saren get it toGETHER

Renegade Raina can kill with a conversation apparently, well done then

Concentrate on the Sovereign—why am I gonna save a council that hates my guts, sorry, but I have a JOB to DO that you ACTIVELY HINDERED

Great, zombie husk Saren, just what I needed as I mull over the possible consequences of my galaxy-altering decision

GO JOKER GO

Humanity-only council seems…questionable. Raina didn’t love the council but this sits wrong. Couldn’t we just appoint a more diverse council, including a human?

Anderson seems like a good enough dude, so…we’ll see.

TIME FOR WAR BOYS, GODDAMN WHAT A GAME