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ask-joeydrewstudios · 7 years ago

Text

Henry's Unfortunate Ink-antation [Part One]

[submitted by: @the-elusive-blue-skittle]

Sigh… The animation is WELL overdue AGAIN. Henry sits at his desk, with a chewed-up pencil resting between his teeth like a cigar- not that he’d know how to smoke one. That’s Sammy’s thing.

“Ugh, this is all wrong… How did the pose get so stiff,” the man asks himself, slumping over in his chair. “It’s been a hard week, and it’s only Tuesday…”

He tugs at the tie tucked beneath his sweater. Why can’t he seem to get his hands to work today? Perhaps he just hasn’t had enough coffee…

Meanwhile, the toons are chasing each other around the studio. Bendy, who’s filled a plastic bucket with ink from the Machine, is running as fast as his little inky legs can take him.

“Bendy! You put that bucket down right this instant,” Alice yells, holding her halo over her head with one arm, the other desperately grasping for Bendy’s tail.

“Fat chance, sweetcheeks! I never get ta pull pranks ‘round here,” the demon replies, kicking up his speed as ink sloshes in every which direction. The bucket doesn’t seem to get any emptier.

A wide grin creeps its way onto Bendy’s face as he spots a certain someone’s wide-open office door.

Henry’s office.

The man rakes his fingers through his soft brown hair, smiling as he finally gets the details right on his drawing. He’s getting somewhere at last.

“There we go… Much better.”

…

“SURPRISE, HENRY!”

“BENDY, NO-”

S P L A S H.

… Ink is EVERYWHERE. Henry blinks a couple times as the liquid dribbles down his entire body. He grimaces and tries to wipe the ink away from his eyes and mouth, but to no avail. It’s as if the ink replaces his entire form en masse. Henry coughs a wet cough and stands up, leaning against his desk.

’… Huh. Well, that’s a little funny. The desk looks a little higher up than it was when I sat down. Maybe it’s just the fumes getting to my head…’

At least, that’s what Henry THINKS before his body seems to hiccup, sending him another inch closer to the ground. That CAN’T be right. The shrinking seems to speed up as the man’s sight seems to get blurrier and blurrier, though quickly fixing itself as his field of vision converts to full color-blindness. The poor sap, now lacking nine inches in height, unwittingly gets simpler under all that ink. His hands shift and shape into chubbier, more exaggerated versions of themselves, with four fingers on each now-gloved hand. The changes travel up his arms, which get thinner and more versatile as they lose definition, becoming simple curved lines, free to wiggle, contort, and stretch as needed. Henry’s inky frame gets chubbier as the ink soaks in to over-exaggerate the facade his sweater gives off, making the man look weightier than he really is. His legs go through similar changes to his arms, getting thinner and stretchier, though his feet get larger to make the ‘character’ look more grounded, and less likely to topple over.

On Henry’s face, his features get simpler. All constructs of his eyes dissipate, except for the ‘pie-style’ eyes they’re replaced with. The man’s eyebrows reduce to simple lines as they gain the freedom to even surpass the top of his head to convey more dramatized expressions. His neck slimming, Henry’s vocal cords regress, making the changing man’s voice much more high-pitched, though not in a boyish or unflattering way. The fluffy, brown hair doesn’t change, much to the dazed man’s relief, though soon enough, all the color seems to leak out from the bottom of his form, and therefore, with the rest of the thick ink that would soon soak through the floorboards and leave Henry as… A toon.

He’s a toon.

“Gosh…” Henry slaps his hands over his mouth. What did he say? “What happened to my voice?! Did you hear me say that just now?!”

This is when he starts to panic, though in a cartoonish, goofy way. ‘Sweat drops’ fly from his forehead as his noodly legs wobble underneath him. He chews at the tips of his gloves like they’re his usual fingernails. “H-How much of that stuff did you even get on me, Bendy?”

“Uhh… I got a bucket full 'f ink from the Ink Machine?”

“YOU WHAT?!”

“Uh.. Eheheh… Whoops,” Bendy grins a big, nervous grin, placing his hands behind his back and backing away cautiously. “But ya know what? It’s gonna wear off in a few days! No need to worry at all!”

Henry glares with a menacing scowl, stomping the floor and groaning in frustration. “I have a wife waiting for me, Bendy! She’s gonna be looking all over for me, for pete’s sake!”

“Well, gee, Henry, I’m sorry,” Bendy sighs, kicking the floor in a meek manner as he shoves his gloved hands in nonexistent pockets, head hung low. And what a way to make Henry feel guilty, for as soon as Bendy apologizes for the horrible prank, the man-turned-toon’s expression softens. Henry inspects his body to the best of his ability, seeming somewhat shocked at the remaining joints in his arms. Clenching and unclenching his fists, the former human looks up from the floor to Bendy.

“… You know what? This can’t get any worse, I guess!” Henry exclaims with a sudden determined expression, pounding a fist into an open hand. “It shouldn’t take too long to wear off, right?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been an hour. Henry ALREADY can’t stand the sudden change, feeling very uncomfortable at the loss in height and mass. He finds himself a lot more prone to tripping and comedically falling on his face on every loose nail or floorboard. Tired of this nonsense, the new toon pouts and plops down in the middle of the floor, resting his head in a four-fingered hand.

… To which someone obliviously trips over him and lands with a light 'thud’ nearby.

“Gosh, are you okay?” GOD, he still hates that. The person that unfortunately didn’t see the tiny toon sits up and rubs his forehead, turning around to locate the source of Henry’s voice. Uh-oh.

It’s Joey.

“Pfft-” Joey starts to snicker before Henry would hastily shove a finger over his boss’s mouth. “Don’t. Laugh.”

“He-Henry, you- heheh.. You’re-”

“Choose your words CAREFULLY.”

Joey breaks down wheezing and giggling (like an idiot) as Henry reacts by turning a darker shade of grey, presumably getting red in the face from embarrassment. Joey wipes the tears from his eyes, catching his breath. “Y-You’re so… So CUTE…”

Leave it to Joey to find any and every way to push every button Henry has. The toon balls his fists and stomps angrily, like a toddler having a temper tantrum. And really? He’s not too far off from being just that.

“I am NOT cute, Joey,” Henry yells in his new, expressive voice. This prompts Joey to pinch the toon’s cheek, stretching it far past any human’s elasticity capacity.

“Ohhhh, yes you aaaare,” Joey teases with a big grin on his face. “How did this even HAPPEN?”

“Take a wild guess. And let go of me!”

Joey lets go of Henry’s cheek and gets up off the floor. “Let me guess. Is it something to do with the little devil himself?”

“Yeah, and when this is over, I’m getting rid of ALL the buckets in the studio,” Henry whines, crossing his arms and turning his back to his boss. “No exceptions! I don't WANT to be stuck like this forever!” The toon’s lip quivers as he’s thrown into a full-fledged, cartoony crying fit. He hardly seems to notice the shift in emotional expression, going from a stoic, no-funny-business animator to, well…

A goofy little dork.

Henry wails as literal waterfalls of tears flow from the corners of his eyes, water pooling on the floor at his sides. If someone doesn’t stop him, the entire room’s going to fill up!

Joey pinches the bridge of his nose. He ALREADY has to deal with THREE over-emotional toons! “Henry, you're NOT going to be stuck like this forever. But you WILL be stuck like this for at least a week.”

“A WEEK?!” Henry gasps, hands placed on each cheek. “I’M GONNA BE TRAPPED HERE FOR A WEEK? Ohhhhhh, this is UNBELIEVABLE…”

Joey rests a hand on the tiny toon’s shoulder, handing over a handkerchief so Henry can wipe his tears. Henry takes the cloth, sniffling pitifully as he blows his nose, prompting the sound of a trumpet blaring. “What am I gonna do this whole time? I can’t animate like this!” The toon produces a pencil from behind his ear and holds it out. The pencil itself droops weakly as a spontaneous sad-trombone noise plays out of nowhere. He tosses the utensil behind him, proceeding to hit a nonexistent cat, a loud 'REEEEOW’ ringing out, followed by a CRASH.

Henry pulls, with stretchy arms, a fainting couch from what could only be called 'off-screen’. He rests a hand against his forehead as he crumbles onto the sofa with a weary expression. Joey rolls his eyes. It’s not like he can just tell Henry to stop being so dramatic.

“Now, Henry, there’s no need to… Fret,” Joey rubs the back of his head, somewhat bothered by the loss of his favorite handkerchief. “I don’t usually do this, but just this once, I’ll let you have a break for however long this lasts. How does that sound?”

Henry sits up in excitement. “Really? You'd do that? For me?”

“Well, I can’t imagine that it’d be very easy to draw with four fingers on each hand, and…”

Suddenly, Joey is wrapped in a hefty squeeze, with the toon’s arms wrapped around his form several times, like a coil. “Oh, thank you, Joey! I knew I could count on you,” Henry exclaims, with a big, goofy grin on his face.

“… It’s no trouble,” Joey smiles softly and hugs his co-worker back. “Now run along and do… Whatever it is you do when you’re not working. You can even try playing around with the other toons for a while!”

Henry pushes the fainting couch 'off-screen’ with a kick, resulting in another anomalous crash. “Play, huh? I haven’t played since sixth grade…”

“Well,” Joey starts. “What’s a toon to do other than goof around all day?” Henry raises a brow. “Oh, yeah? No. Not doing it.”

“You know you want to.”

Henry hesitates. Something in him agrees with his boss. He has some internal instinct to run amok and cause trouble, for sure. But on the other hand, he doesn’t want to get FIRED.

Plus, it’s REALLY embarrassing.

“… Well… I don’t know about this, Joey. It’s a little…”

“HENRY,” an unidentified voice, accompanied by swift footsteps rings out.

“Whuh, B-Boris- GUH!”

Henry gets tackled to the ground by the massive cartoon wolf, squeezed in one of his famous 'wolf hugs’. “Oh, Henry, look at you! You’re just like us!”

“Yeah, I, uh.. I noticed, buddy.”

Boris gasps. “You know what this means, right, Henry?”

Henry shrugs. “What DOES it mean, Boris?”

“It means that we gotta teach you how to be a toon!”

“I’m sure I know PLENTY.”

“Well, then, c'mon,” Boris exclaims, getting off of Henry, lifting him up and taking him by the hand. “Let’s go have some fun!”

“Wait, Boris-”

And just like that, Boris whisks Henry away as Joey watches with a smile. This is going to get interesting.

((hey guys in happier news, my friend skittle’s writing a super long and amazing toon henry fic for this blog’s au and this is part one. its amazing and adorable and i hope it gets the love it honestly deserves, and thank you again skittle for this Blessing of a fic :D))

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exsqueeze-me · 4 years ago

Note

Bardock sfw alphabet plzz

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He's not ridiculously affectionate, but he does have his soft moments. He will let you hug and dote on him all you want, but unless you are alone, he won't reciprocate. He's much more affectionate when it's just the two of you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Honestly, if you're his best buddy, you're probably his favorite training partner too. He's always up to spar with you. He's also super protective. Folks better think twice before messing with his training buddy.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He's absolutely a secret cuddle bug. He will never in a million years admit it to anyone, but he loves holding you close to him for hours on end.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He's not really into 'settling down'. He can't cook to save his life, so I wouldn't let him anywhere near a kitchen. He also is shit at cleaning. Like, he will try, but its gonna look just as dirty as it was before once he's done.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He would just up and leave. If he's at the point where he is ready to call it off with you, then he's not going to give you any sort of warning. You'll just wake up one morning and it'll be like he was never there in the first place.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He will bond you, but that's about it. He won't do the ceremony no matter how much you pester him. He sees no point in it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

It depends on his mate. If his mate is strong and able to handle him being a bit rough around them, then he will be. If his mate is frail or substantially weaker than him, he's not gonna take any chances hurting them.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He likes hugs, but not in public. If you hug him in front of anyone, he won't really stop you, but he might groan and complain a bit. In private, hugs usually either turn into a cuddling session, or they turn into something a bit dirtier.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He doesn't really say it. He would rather show you how much he loves you. But if you say it to him, he'll give you a gruff 'you too'.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Foaming at the mouth. He won't make a big scene about it in public, but you can see the rage building. If he gets the chance, he's gonna make them think twice about flirting with his mate again. You're also in for the ride of your life when you get home.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He might give you a soft kiss every here and there, but usually kisses with him lead to the bedroom.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He definitely wants kids with his mate. But beware that he's gonna want to train them to fight as soon as they can walk. He'll hold off if you tell him to, but he won't be happy about it.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He's a clinger, so you aren't getting up til he gets up. Even after he wakes up, he's gonna keep you there for a bit. He's a soft-ish boi in the morning.. mostly.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Honestly, he's just ready to get to sleep. If you and him aren't fucking before bed, he's just gonna pull you in his arms, close his eyes, and tell you goodnight.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

You actually might never know a lot of things about him. It's not that he's unwilling to tell you, it's that he just doesn't feel like its necessary. He may tell you if you ask, but he won't really outright tell you much.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He's patient, but it's not really one of his virtues. He can deal with quite a bit before he loses his shit, but it depends on the situation.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He tries to remember certain things, but if it's not really important, then it dosen't really stick. Like, he won't really remember your birthday, but if you or someone else brings it up, he'll take you out for the day and let you enjoy yourself.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Probably the day he bonded you. He doesn't do things like that lightly, so it was a pretty big thing.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

If anyone or anything gets a hair up their ass and decides to try and hurt you, they're not gonna make it too far. Bardock is ready to blast that ass real fast. Noone is getting to you unless they get past him first.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Not much. He might toss you the occasional gift, but its usually something like Saiyan armour or the head of a recently killed enemy. Ya know, romantic stuff.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

His protectiveness and possessiveness come at a price. That price being he's gonna be aggressive with anyone he doesn't know. If he hasn't been introduced to them before and doesn't know if they're okay, he doesn't like them.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Honestly couldn't care less. Like he's hot and he knows it, but he also doesn't care about appearances. In his eyes, strength and loyalty are all that matters.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

It depends. If he's claimed you as a mate but hasn't bonded you yet, then he can move on with his life pretty easy. If you were bonded, then it would be a hard hit. He wouldn't outwardly show it, but he would be a tad more aggressive to anyone he crossed paths with after that.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He absolutely adores having his tail pet. Like, he had to trust you with his life to let you near it, but once you get the opportunity, don't waste it. If you pet the fluffy appendage just right, you might hear him purr.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Dishonesty or disloyalty. He just doesn't want to be around people he can't trust. He hates having to constantly watch his back against the people that he should be able to call comrades.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He's probably hella nice to sleep with tbh. He clings to you and snores softly. But it's not, like, bad. It's more like a soft, consistent white noise.

#Bardock #dbz

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unofficialkfamtranscripts · 5 years ago

Text

King Falls AM - Episode 5: Night of the Living Dread

View on Google Docs

Summary: July 1, 2015 - Sammy & Ben learn of some breaking news regarding the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe, but not everyone is as pleased as the broadcast duo.

[Podcast intro music]

Announcer Dear listeners, please note that the following program may contain views that do not reflect that of King Falls AM, its management, or its subsidiaries. Listener discretion is advised.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy You’re listening to King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the radio dial. I’m your host, Sammy Stevens, and as always we are joined by producer and co-host extraordinaire, Ben Arnold.

Ben [trying not to be amused] You’re so- you’re so happy, aren’t you? You’re a child. Getting so giddy over that message.

Sammy Listening to a warning before a radio broadcast I’m on has literally been on the bucket list for a long time. Thanks Merv!

Ben *laughter* Ridiculous. A glutton for punishment.

Sammy What can I say? I enjoy a nice game of hard ball! Uh, y’know, but enough about what Merv doesn’t want you to hear, let’s talk about what he does want you to hear. And what do we have cooking tonight, Ben?

Ben Dude, it’s stacked alright? Stacked. We’ve got the- lovely Miss Emily Potter from the King Falls Library giving us her picks for enlightened summer reading.

Sammy Terrific! We always love speaking with Emily!

Ben You and me both.

Sammy I said “we,” Ben.

Ben Uh, I know. I- *breathes in* [stilted] I- We-We-uh, We’ve got some really cool news! here. We-we are announcing the line-up for the first annual King Falls Ambient Music Festival. That’s coming up the second hour.

Sammy Wait a second. The King Falls Ambient Music Festival? Is this town even big enough for a festival?

Ben Oh yeah! It’s like Coachella[1] but for hipsters that just want to relax. It’s all about “setting the mood.”

Sammy You know, I’m wondering if they’re gonna make it to a second annual.

Ben And then, um, [reluctant and slipping into mumbling] opening up the show we-we’ve got the- doctor *mumbling*

Sammy I-I’m sorry, Ben, what was that? You’re trailing off, buddy.

Ben We have that umm, *sniffs, lets out breath* one… guy. You know that- fo- w- talking about that *deep breath* one thing—

Sammy [trying to cut him off] Ben—

Ben —from a month ago or so—?

Sammy What? What are you talking about?

Ben You know— May- maybe we should start it with Uh, callers first! [mildly frantic] Just-uh-Give us a call at 424-279-3858 and let’s talk about… *tsk* anything! Let’s uh, whats your-whats your-whats-whats on your mind King Falls?

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, put down your phones for a second. What Ben is trying to say is we’ve got a scoop here this evening on King Falls AM. We’re gonna be speaking with—

Ben [cutting Sammy off]Or you can tweet us! @kingfallsam. I-I-I will literally talk about anything right now. Even to Mr. Derschwitz about that weird toenail thing. Let-lets-lets go, people!

Sammy I thought we agreed—

Ben I know. Sammy, I’m sorry it’s just, [slightly more frantic] I’m-I’m not feelin’ the best here. Alright? my stomach, is all… knotted up, just thinking about this.

Sammy That is journalism. That feeling is journalism—

Ben [speaking over Sammy] I think it might actually be an ulcer! It Tastes, like Fear and Feels, like Cancer . It’s way more than anxiety. I-I’m gonna call Dr. Raúl, at break.

Sammy He’s a chiropractor!

Ben Maybe he can refer me?

Sammy Power through it, buddy! Look at this folks, we got somebody dialing into the hotline right now! You ready for this Ben? Come on.

Ben Please, be Reverend Hawthorne so we can talk about the Revival next month.

Sammy Oh stop it. You know he isn’t even scheduled!

Ben I just thought— maybe that’s how prayers work, I don’t know, I’m not a reverend!

Sammy King Falls AM, you’re on the air.

Dr. Rosenblum [Dr. Rosenblum’s voice is measured and monotonous and mildly creepy at all times] Good evening, this is Dr. Jeffery Rosenblum, with the, King Falls County Coroner’s Office.

Ben C-can I please just say—

Sammy Dr. Rosenblum, it is a pleasure to speak with you this evening.

Rosenblum Excited to be here, Sammy. Ecstatic even. We listen on slow nights.

Ben That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever heard.

Sammy Much appreciated, Doc. Now, as fate would have it, you were the overseeing physician working on the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe, is that correct?

Ben Doc? Can you just, hold on for- one- moment- please?

Rosenblum Of course, Ben I—

Sammy Don’t start, Ben! We agreed to see this through.

Ben All I’m saying i- lemme finish- a- i-is that maybe it’s not our place *deep breath* to break this kind of news.

Sammy Fine. You know what? You’re right! Let’s just give this to our friends down at Channel 13 and let them be the ones to alert the public about this.

Ben [journalist voice] Doc, Ben Arnold. Tell us about cracking open the mystery body.

Sammy [quietly] Oh.

Rosenblum It’s true that I was the operating physician on that particular John Doe, y-es, irrefutablyy

Sammy Now, as I understand, your official report was released yesterday morning, doctor, but amazingly enough, not one publication or news station in our town- including King Falls AM- reported on it.

Rosenblum You are correct. Busy news day- one would assume.

Ben So, that means, you are— free to talk about it on air.

Rosenblum I would be elated

Sammy First and foremost on everyone’s minds: were there any signs of, uh, y’know, the lake mo- *sighs* I can’t.

Ben Did Kingsie make the body, bite the big one?

Rosenblum There was no evidence that a creature large or small had anything to do with the deceased.

Ben *sigh of relief* That- I knew Kingsie didn’t have it in her.

Sammy Now, Dr. Rosenblum, can you tell us if there was any foul play involved at all?

Rosenblum During our first autopsy we were not able to distinguish with certainty the cause of death. But there were no signs of foul play

Sammy I’m sorry, did you say “first” autopsy?

Ben [confused] Is that normal? Did you- find out the cause of death during the… second autopsy?

Rosenblum Indeed. It was six individual gunshot wounds to the victim’s head. Three shots to the temporal lobe, two to the mendulla oblongata—

Sammy What?! Six gunshot wounds?!

Rosenblum To the cranium, yes. One to the frontal lobe, another to—

Ben So the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe was, murdered?

Sammy I can’t believe this! This is big! Why didn’t one news outlet report this thing yesterday?!

Rosenblum Well, the cause of death was inconclusive and with no signs of foul play, it was not exactly a juicy story.

Ben and Sammy Wait a second.

Rosenblum …yes?

Sammy I’m sorry, doc. I’m not in the medical orrr criminal fields but, how is six gunshots not foul play?

Rosenblum Well, that was between the first autopsy and the second. The gunshots were self-defense administered via Deputy Kreighauser at my behest.

Sammy Ben, we’re gonna wanna get Troy on the phone and see what he’s got to say about this.

Ben “Things Ben Arnold would never think under ordinary circumstances for 800, Alex.”[2]

Sammy Doc, while we’re getting Deputy Troy on the line, would you mind if we took a quick break to hear from one of our sponsors?

Rosenblum That’s just- Dandy.

[light bg music]

Greg Frickard After a long day’s work or a tough day’s play, you probably just wanna come home and relax. No need to slave over a hot stove for hours on end. Well that’s where we come in! Here at Granny Frickard’s, we know that the less time you spend doing the things you don’t like, is the more time you spend with the ones you love. So come get some of the best frog legs that money can buy. Granny Frickard’s French-fried farm-fresh never-frozen filleted-and-fricasseed fried-and-flambeed frog legs. Mm-mm-mm. So get on down to Granny Frickard’s Froggery at the corner of Main Street and 7th Avenue. We’ll put some pep in your step and some hop in your heart.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy And we’re back on King Falls AM, here with King Falls County Coroner, Dr. Jeffery Rosenblum.

Rosenblum A Pleasure.

Sammy Do you have Troy, Ben?

Ben He’s booking one of the Williams boys for mooning. He’ll call us in a few.

Sammy I’m a little out of sorts here, doc. Can you explain what happened between the first inconclusive autopsy and the point where Troy filled the cadaver full of lead.

Rosenblum Of course. As I was finishing the initial post-mortem, it came to my attention that the deceased began to emit a hissing sound, fluctuating between the lower thorax and the larynx.

Ben Oh my God.

Rosenblum I called for Deputy Kreighauser and he entered, as I wanted someone else to see this- phenomenon. That’s when the John Doe began a slight, thrashing about the upper torso.

Ben Um… are you saying—

Rosenblum The deputy began to fumble for his sidearm while we both discerned that something was wildly- amiss. The deceased opened its eyes and instantly grabbed for the lapel of my lab coat with voracious tenacity.

Ben Wh- ah- go on.

Rosenblum It gnashed its teeth as I emitted a terrified, albeit, high pitched, scream. And that’s when Troy unholstered his sidearm and administered six lethal shots to the reanimated corpse’s cranium.

Ben A zombie.

Sammy Alright, is there- [fumbling] Let’s just say- is there-

Ben We’ve got Troy on the line.

Deputy Troy [in bg] I don’t care if he was only joshin’. You can’t show your G-D derriere out in public! [car door slams] [pleasantly] Hey boys, what’s goin’ on tonight?

Sammy You tell us, Troy, holy geez! Uh, we’ve got Dr. Rosenblum on the line here and—

Deputy Troy Is this about the zombie?

Ben Yes! So-so you’re confirming this story, Troy?

Deputy Troy Well, hell yeah I’m confirming! I had to do three hours of damn paper work from unloadin’ my pistola into a corpse! Sheriff Gunderson was not the happiest of campers.

Ben [excited and awed] This is amazing… This is unprecedented .

Sammy [skeptical] This is a little unbelievable, Troy.

Rosenblum It is a first in my profession. Believe you me. [still tonelessly] Wowzers.

Deputy Troy Honest engine[3] boys. I capped the all get out of that thing! It had the doc by the face ‘bout to start chewing!

Rosenblum You’re my hero, Deputy Troy.

Deputy Troy Shucks, wasn’t nothin’ special.

Ben [slightly sullen] Except killing the first instance of a zombie in King Falls since—

Sammy Don’t say “since”.

Ben … Well… Since that one time at the mall in the '80s.

Sammy No, that’s not a real thing, Ben. That’s a film.

Ben [worked up] Sammy? How many extraordinary things are gonna have to SLAP you right in the face to make you buy into this? KING FALLS, MAN.

Deputy Troy You know me, Sammy. I always shoot ya straight. But it was the craziest sh[bleep]t I’ve ever seen. I mean it was like my-ex-wife-needs-alimony-money crazy.

Ben See? Even Barney Fife[4] saw it.

Sammy *sighs* I just—

Rosenblum I don’t want to cause an uproar here, but since that exam, there have been, other cases.

Ben Of frickin’ zombies?

Rosenblum Of reanimation among corpses… yes.

Deputy Troy Doc, you just give me a call if you need. I’m more than happy to go Clint Eastwood if the situation arises.

Rosenblum Will do, Deputy. Thank you so much for your- assistance. Without you, there may not have been this- interview.

Deputy Troy [proud] To protect and serve.

Sammy I can’t take all this in right now, Dr. Rosenblum I- e- Thank you so much for your insightful information.

Rosenblum As they say, [still monotone] “you got it, duude.”

[click, dial tone]

Ben You okay, Sammy? You… don’t look so well.

Deputy Troy Ah, hell, boys.[siren whoop] I gotta go. I’ll call you back later tonight! One of the Williams boys is tryin’ ta saw through the bars outside the jailhouse? [sirens in bg] [through megaphone] Jacob Williams put your hands UP and the file DOWN.

[click, dial tone]

Ben Alright King Falls, you’ve heard our story, let’s hear yours. Have you or anyone you know experienced anything like what the doctor spoke of? Reanimation? The walking—

Sammy Don’t.

Ben You know what I mean. Give us a call or tweet us.

Sammy Looks like the board is lighting up!

Ben Um…

Sammy What’s up? Okay, it can’t be any crazier than what we just heard, Ben.

Ben Line One, Sammy.

Sammy Welcome to King Falls AM, you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Line 1 [female, almost sounds automated] Good evening, Sammy—

Sammy Do I know you ma'am?

Riley — please hold for Mayor Grisham.

Ben He… Probably just wants us to— mark these tapes as, evidence. *nervous laugh* Right, Sammy?

Sammy Or burn them.

Riley Sammy Stevens, Mayor Grisham.

Sammy Mayor?

Mayor Grisham Sammy… Ben.

Sammy You’re on live on King Falls AM, sir.

Mayor Grisham [commanding] Take me off and go to break. We need to chat.

Sammy No can do. Ben says we aren’t scheduled for break for another- uh- at least ten minutes.

Mayor Grisham Ben. Cut. To. Commercial.

Ben Uh- uh- uh- the thing is- I- I- I can’t- do that. Sir.

Mayor Grisham [threateningly pleasant] You boys want to talk live on air? We can talk live on air.

Sammy [challenging] Nothin’ to hide on this end of the phone, Mayor Grisham.

Mayor Grisham I hear your snide remarks, Sammy. I’ve read the transcripts.

Sammy Which! let’s be honest, is pretty weird. We’re a late night AM talk show, why are you bothering with us?

Mayor Grisham Oh, I don’t bother with you. I try to keep up to date with all the local news and entertainment. I gotta say, I was really happy a big city radio guy decided to come play host at our little radio station.

Sammy Well, I’m more than happy to—

Mayor Grisham I wasn’t finished… But I have to say, I’m a little less than thrilled with [accusingly] all the excitement you brought with you.

Sammy I’d hardly call reporting the news “excitement”, sir—

Mayor Grisham It’s interesting to me that I don’t see Channel 13 breaking these crazy stories.

Ben [quickly] No offense, your honor, but those idiots don’t know their a[bleep]holes from their elbows.

Mayor Grisham And you boys being on site when these “events” happen? [softly, still accusing] It’s a little bit of a coincidence don’t you think?

Sammy Are you insinuating that we are staging these events, Mayor?

Mayor Grisham I’m stating facts. I’m sure your ratings are way, way up there since all these sensational events seem to coincide with your broadcast. Why do you think that is? Furthermore, I mean who’s up listening to you at this ungodly hour of the night?!

Sammy Seemingly most of the town, Sir. As well as whomever you’ve hired to keep an ear on us.

Mayor Grisham I’ve tried to be nice about this… And I tried to be civil… but I think it’s about time that you troublemakers changed formats. No more of this funny business. It’s not good for the listeners. It’s not good for the residents. And honestly? it’s not good for me. I don’t appreciated being painted in this light, gentlemen.

Sammy Oh! You mean the light where you as a public service,[sic] try to quell the voice of the people.

Ben It’s not your right to tell us what we can and can’t report on, sir. All due respect.

Mayor Grisham [rudely] All due respect, Ben Arnold. Just a couple of months ago you were digging up old records on eBay for Chet Sebastian to run on about. Now you’re a media star?? That’s worrisome! Seems you fellas have All the reasons in the world to fabricate these issues, and I have to say I’m not gonna sit here and listen to this, while you LIE TO THE GOOD PEOPLE OF KING FALLS.

Sammy Well, when we start “fabricating” and “making things up,” you can come throw the book at us. But until then- [click, dial tone] Whoops! Looks like you just got disconnected. I’d wait for you to give us a call back and all, but with it not being an election year I probably shouldn’t hold my breath.

Ben Line One iiis lit up again, Sammy.

Sammy [insincerely] Oh, sorry about that Mayor! I must have fabricated accidentally dumping your call when-

Esther Rollens [heavy metal music in bg] [voice old and wavering] Did you boys fund a lavender ball of yarn in there? Been looking for it all week! [click, dial tone]

Ben [shaken] Sammy, I think that commercial might do us some good right now.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] Coachella - The Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival (commonly called Coachella or the Coachella Festival) is an annual music and arts festival held at the Empire Polo Club in Indio, California, in the Coachella Valley in the Colorado Desert.

[2] Reference to the TV game show Jeopardy!

[3] I honestly can’t tell if he’s saying “honest engine” or “honest injun” but i’mma go with the one that’s technically incorrect but also not super racist.

[4] Barney Fife - Deputy from the Andy Griffith Show. Calling a police officer or authority figure "Barney Fife" has become an American slang term for gross ineptitude or overzealousness.

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #ben arnold #troy krieghauser #dr. jeffrey rosenblum #mayor grisham #kfam transcripts #kfam ep5

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mydarlinclementine · 5 years ago

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u n s e e i n g e y e s f o l l o w a p p r o a c h i n g f o o t s t e p s . . .

“ hope you’re not try’na be a sneak. it’s unbecoming. ”

a warning laced with poison. she stands by the window. no cane. no fear.

friend or foe, they’ve got one thing she’s after.

“ got a light ? ”

( jodie comer, gorgon, she/her & cisfemale ) is that ( bad reputation ) by joan jett & the blackhearts ) playing? (clementine cornelia carmichael ) must be nearby! heard folks say the ( one hundred fifty ) year old ( ex-mercenary ) was at the thanksgiving fair, ( lightin’ a cigarette by the kiddie play pen ) when chaos ensued. during the glitch, ( she dropped her cane while jumped by some no-good, possessed werecreatures, ‘til a mystery someone swooped her off to safety ).

b a c k g r o u n d .

clementine cornelia carmichael was the second of two daughters born to the carmichael family in georgia... and the disappointment starts there. her parents had been vying for a son, but alas –– with one x chromosome too many, they had no choice but to amend their planned wills. their family fortune, derived from plantation money, would go to the first daughter to marry, and her husband.

the catch. clementine didn’t know about this policy. only her older sister ( wanted connection ) was aware. so when clementine married her first husband, jeb, at 16, her older sister began brainstorming ways to sabotage their marriage to get the inheritance back in her name. it began with petty things. flubbing house parties. planting rumors. attempting to seduce jeb. eventually, it became clear this love was strong and she wouldn’t break it alone.

and then her lucky break struck. jeb and clementine’s efforts to have a child grew more desperate in the third year of their marriage. by 19, clementine had two miscarriages and narrowly escaped with her life. little did she know, getting so close to death activated a dormant gene in her...

all carmichael women are gorgons. her older sister knew about the family lore but clementine had never bothered to listen to her mother’s old tales of men turned to stone. it was only folk tales, old wive’s tales designed to scare both daughters into staying prim, proper, and well-behaved.

imagine her shock when, while they were making love, jeb turned to stone. talk about yikes. clementine flipped. her older sister came to the rescue –– with a pick axe and a sledgehammer. the two women pulverized the stone and buried it in an urn in the back yard of the young couple’s yard. widowed, clementine was reduced to nothing. no joys in life presented to her. the kicker? gorgons can reverse their own stone-turnings. and her sister? the bitch bloody lied to get her hands back on the inheritance.

a year and a half later, gorgon hunters stormed the house and mistook clementine for her sister. they kidnapped her and planned to kill her, until the quick-witted lady pitched an offer they couldn’t pass up: she’d provide them with mercenary services in exchange for her life. all of a sudden, their hunting jobs got ten times easier.

clem before jeb’s death was gentle. docile. calm waters, soothing breezes, dog-eared pages come morning. now? she whipped at the world with a vengeance. why deny what she was? why fight her essence?

clem later turned her captors to stone and privatized her mercenary jobs. her body count rose and rose, with no evidence left over for incrimination. but... by the late 1960′s, she grew tired of running. tired of hunting. with fresh dust on her hands, she finished her last kill, collected her hefty bill, and used the money to relocate to tiny letum falls, oklahoma.

there, she began to help out at the garden emporium, adding to its statue collection from pure boredom. she’d go to the bars, sleep around, repeat.

in the 70′s, she met manny otero, and the two have danced around one another ever since –– fuck buddies. she’ll never admit she actually might have feelings for the man.

in september, descendants of the hunters clem worked with and killed arrived in letum falls, searching for a blonde gorgon –– they found what they were lookin’ for, but not exactly who. again, mistaken for her sister, clem was attacked and left for dead in an abandoned house by the woods. dumb asses. didn’t know a gorgon can’t die unless you behead her.

clem awoke from the incident bloodied and blind. she can make out light and some loose peripheral shadows, but the blows to her head damaged her optical nerves enough to render her legally blind. she begrudgingly carries a cane when absolutely necessary, but she’ll more often than not defy using it by just... struggling her way through things. it’s messy. inelegant. but she’d rather stumble and trip than admit she needs assistance.

unlike other people, who might view tragedy as a way to make amends and realign with the world, clem’s attack just fueled her fire. she’s agitated. bristly. ready to snap at anyone who gets too close. it’s a miracle she hasn’t done a number on manny yet, or xander. ( she’s got a bit of a soft spot for the guy. )

t h e f a i r .

she went ‘cause everyone expected her not to. idiots. of course she was going to prove assholes wrong. of course she was going to light up a few cigs near the kiddie play pen. who do you think she is ? a changed woman ?

like clockwork, the first screams rang out when clem finally heard her lighter catch. so she took her time. lit the cigarette, took a looooooong drag. then came the footsteps. the snarls. the corner of her lips turned up in the teeniest of smirks.

she smelled it before she felt it. the blood. but just as soon as the pain blossomed ‘round her right forearm and shoulder, she was being pulled in the opposite direction. practically carried.

yeah. someone saved her ass. and she’s pissed about it.

c u r r e n t l y .

spends her time drinking, smoking, ‘n adding to brooks baker’s gray clouds over at the bakery. when she’s not there, you can find her sitting in her favorite diner booth sipping her umpteenth black coffee or tearin’ into a big fat slice of key lime pie.

aw. you scared ? you think some big bad glitch is gonna come back to take you, too ? cry her a river, hun. this ain’t nothing.

the local bartenders already know to pour her a double whiskey, straight as soon as she walks in the door. clem’s got this presence about her –– she turns heads and makes ‘em want to turn away all in one go.

c u r r e n t c o n n e c t i o n s .

fuck buddy / savior – manny otero. she’s got him right where she wants him... in bed. these two ooze libido and become a show almost anywhere they go. sometimes she’ll let him buy her a drink. other times, it’s just easier to cut to the chase. since becoming blind, things with manny haven’t changed much, and clem’s thankful for that. little does she know, he’s the asshole who saved her life at the fair.

unlikely ally – xander chapell. these two share late night cigs after clem gets some and, xander, well... does not, due to a variety of freak and unfortunate incidents. often clem barging in pre-bang. they have a special trust between them. xander opened up to clem about losing bez the night after the glitch. and she opened up to him, a little, about her past. it’s uncanny. but their bond works.

w a n t e d c o n n e c t i o n s .

enemies. give me people who really rub clem the wrong way. it ain’t hard to do.

her older sister. their relationship is dysfunctional. deceptive. manipulative. you’d think they were the heads of opposing armies, not borne from the same flesh and blood. surprise surprise, clem has since uncovered a gorgon’s ability to reverse their changes. needless to say, she’s wanting to seek some kind of comeuppance. the issue? her older sister has been the only person to succeed in forcing help on her after losing her sight. and killing her own caretaker? that’d look pretty gnarly, from the outside lookin’ in.

drinking crew. they’re not close, but they share a dark sense of humor and a penchant for dullin’ the senses.

garden emporium customers. i would love to have a connection whose relative / dog / etc. were turned to stone and showed up at the emporium the very same week they decided to snag some kind of lawn ornament to complement their new landscaping... let’s make it crunchy, and awkward, and terrible.

hookups / past flings. she’s been here a while. been around the world for a while. so i reckon while her body count for kills is high, her body count for beddin’ gives it a run for its money.

mentor / mentee type of thing. someone’s looking to learn from her. why ? who knows. but she’ll offer ill-founded advice and bitter philosophies. doesn’t have a good reason not to.

#othqintro #intro.#death tw #blood tw #miscarriage tw #this sucks but yeet

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denouxments · 6 years ago

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dylan minnette. cismale. he/him. — did you see { alex mercier }, i haven’t seen the { twenty-one } year old in a while! you know, they’re a { musician }, and have been living in jersey city for { twenty-one years }. some say they're { cynical & indecisive }, but i think they're { generous & talented }. regardless, i’m glad { alex } is here.

backstory

aaaaaand in the door to the right we have trash son #2, alex !! ( woo ! ahh ! ) you can find his dossier page HERE, his biography does not exist yet ( i’m gonna kick my own ass ), and there is a pinterest board for him HERE.

ok so boy is a middle child through and through LOL. his dad is a writer who also works as an english professor at new york university, meanwhile his mom works in human services helping people who have fallen off their track in life and stuff.

alex is essentially a male carbon copy of his mom in appearance but his personality is 100% his dad’s lmao

his siblings are a wanted connection !

also his household includes a deaf cat named shrimp that alex literally fished out of a gutter when he was 14. she’s his baby despite the fact that he’s mildly allergic to both cats AND shrimp ( i r o n i c ). here’s the instagram of the cat i’m saying she looks like

real mundane middle class life. there have been highs and lows like any other family, but there’s no tragedy here folks ! that comes later and has nothing to do with his family !

his dad was really into rock music and playing the drums when he was younger cuz wow the 80s and really wanted at least one of his kids to have good taste in music, so he kept the drum set and all the old records despite the fact that they were just collecting dust in the garage . . . until alex came along !

first was the drums, then it was the guitar, then it was being dual-enrolled in both the band and choir classes, and then, finally, it was starting his own band with 2 friends at only 11 years old

his dad got real lucky cuz alex clearly loved music, and he considers the 80s to be legendary.

i'm gonna revisit his music in a moment cuz we gotta start getting into the tragedy that i mentioned ! so alex was like a really chill dude when high school started. he was a bit of a pretentious hipster bitch, but he was chill. he didn’t really say no to things ? like if something or someone just fell into his lap, he’d roll with it and didn’t really think too much about the consequences ? he was a big stoner and lost his virginity and probably way too young of an age because of it. he just didn’t really Care too much lol

he was essentially that quiet stoner that played his guitar in the courtyard and didn’t pay much attention to anything going on around him

. . . unless he overheard you talking about something that was stupid or he didn’t agree with. then he’d butt in to be like “l o l that’s wrong !”

then he met molly ! if you’ve read chloe’s intro for bobbi you know molly ! we love molly ! molly was cute in that girl-next-door way and she was funny with good taste. it was hard for alex not to fall in love with her, really. they were friends first before they started dating, and it was through her that he met all of his current ride-or-die friends. he had never been good at making them, so she was a blessing for his social life. she was amazing. he loved her, his parents loved her, they were good. she was good and then she was gone. just like that. a car accident in which she wasn’t even the driver.

to say the loss devastated him would be an understatement. he shut down completely. he stopped hanging out with friends, stopped playing guitar in the courtyard; his presence in class was like that of a ghost. nobody ever knew what to say to alex before, and it was twice as true now. he just sort of Existed for the remainder of junior year, throwing himself into his studies instead of ever really taking the Time to Deal with it all.

it really hit him like a truck when summer hit and it was at this point that his parents forced him to start seeing a therapist.

his therapist recommended he use his band and music as an outlet, since that seemed to be his healthiest coping mechanism. ( see, i told you we’d get back to that ! ) taking this advice, he threw himself headfirst into it. like, he got really into his band. it’d been a bit of a hobby between friends before, and sometimes they worked small gigs, but now alex was also trying to produce them on a bigger scale. this helped him through his grief tremendously, especially because if felt like he was doing molly proud.

alex was 18 and had graduated when all this hard work paid off. after releasing a self-made ep entitled after molly, the band started gaining some serious traction. we’re talking getting featured on spotify’s indie hits lists and their fanbase skyrocketing in size from the couple hundred monthly listeners it had been. suddenly they were getting booked sold out indie gigs left and right all across the manhatten area. it was nuts and it is still nuts. they even have a well demanded

they’ve put out a 2nd ep since the initial takeoff and are now working on a full blown album ! exciting !

so, yeah, that’s definitely an exciting exchange for being utterly heartbroken i suppose. its been years since molly passed now, so he’s okay now for the most part. he still gets sad sometimes, and he still has all the pictures they took together and all the cheesy playlists they made for each other saved. she’s always gonna be the first girl he was ever in love with,, and i don’t think he’s yet to have a serious relationship since her, but don’t worry about him just being a clay jensen 2.0. my boy is faaaar from that and he’s had his grace period, y’know ? he good.

personality

fuuuucking hiiiiipster buuuuullshiiiit ! coffee and vinyl aesthetic all day bby. will call out your shit taste in music

loves to debate and argue semantics. will always play devils advocate even if he agrees with you 100%. also will go on for hours about the political climate and existence if you accidentally get him there

a bit antisocial. he doesn’t really know how to, like, approach people ? and then when people approach him he has a tendency to rub people the wrong way with his lackluster people skills

tries to go to parties and bars and stuff sometimes because that’s Normal, right ?

a ride or die pal when you do manage to befriend him though ! would drop e v e r y t h i n g for his friends and loves to spoil them relentlessly. the type to randomly show up at your house in his 3,000 year old mustang and take you to lunch or just go driving.

big ole hufflepuff

he’s not really that super free spirit that he was before molly passed. now he actually cares a more about his actions to the point of being lowkey paranoid, honestly. like he’s always wanted tattoos but he constantly second guesses what he wants to get cuz he doesn’t wanna be the guy that got a shitty tattoo, y’know ? so he hasn’t done it at all

cynical boyyyyy. he’s one of those guys that’s like “i’m a realist, not a pessimist”. definitely doesn’t have a whole lot of faith in others outside of his friends and family. will always assume the worst out of people and question their motives

thinks of himself as really boring. not in a self deprecating way, but a factual way

hobbies include music, video games ( he does streams of him being shit at pubg on twitch sometimes ! ), watching movies ( horror specifically is a favorite ), sitting on his roof at 3am to look at the sky, going on walks when there’s nothing else to do, and aggressively frowning when his car breaks down in the middle of nowhere

seriously he really enjoys horror. halloween is his favorite holiday even though he isn’t really big on candy or dressing up. he just thinks the spooky aesthetic is real fun and its cool to see what everyone else is doing

he’s a skeptic on all things supernatural so all you boogaras better snatch him up !!

i drew this expression doodle page that honestmeme sums up his personality pretty well ( it is messy so plz be kind . . . )

connections

his bandmates is a given. i just need 2 others , , , any gender any fc. i have a wc for it.

either of his 2 siblings . . . another wc

any music friends tbh

rival musicians ? yes

people he just doesn’t get along with in general. he’s a pretentious snot so its pretty easy

unlikely friends ( probably someone super idealistic and bubbly )

childhood friends

he hasn’t had a serious relationship since molly so maybe someone he’s kinda into and that’s kinda into him but they taking it REAL slow

on the off hand some exes from him trying to see if he was ready to date again and just wasn’t

someone he debates with a lot. friends or not, they’re just really fun to banter back and forth with

horror night movie buddies !!

gets blazed w/ him on the roof in the middle of the night rambling about if ants have a conscious

he’s got his own place but a roommate or 2 would be nice !

anything anything anything. he’s constantly finding himself in bizarre situations that he just rolls with so long as it doesn’t leave a bad butterfly effect. hmuuuuuu and we can brainstorm

#jrsy.intro #❝ alex :: musing °✧#the only thing the open house was good for was dylan minnette in glasses #just saying #also this is so late i'm so sorry #some admin i am !!

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placetobenation · 4 years ago

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6 months into the COVID-19 pandemic and this is the week that the wrestling world was hit all around with positive tests. Most affected seems to be NXT and AEW. While no cases have been publicly confirmed on the NXT, RAW or SmackDown roster this week by WWE, reports are that there was quite a bit of movement with storylines being rewritten and some superstars not being in attendance. Meanwhile, on AEW, #1 contender Lance Archer is out due to the coronavirus.

It’s hard to believe that the NXT #1 contender’s match was supposed to be KUSHIDA vs. Cameron Grimes, Bronson Reed, Timothy Thatcher and Kyle O’Reilly. No disrespect intended to those 5, but the lack of superstar talent is quite striking. It would be hard to believe that the folks running NXT (yes, you Triple H and Shawn Michaels), wanted it to be that way. Unfortunately, there’s no transparency in the WWE, so we’ll never really know. The WWE should be very transparent and honest when dealing with the pandemic and its effects on the product. But then again, this is the same company that still hasn’t come clean on why Roman Reigns wasn’t around during WrestleMania and the months afterwards.

The other thing that’s really bugging me these days about the WWE? Disqualifications. It’s lazy booking and the WWE is relying on it 2-3 times a show these days. It’s unnecessary. Please stop!

Finally, what the hell was that with RETRIBUTION! Yikes! We’ll discuss more in our RAW recap! But first, some PPV’s to attend to first.

Clash of Champions – UPDATED CARD

WWE Championship Ambulance Match: Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton

WWE Universal Championship Match: Roman Reigns vs. Jey Uso

SmackDown Women’s Championship Match: Bayley vs. Nikki Cross

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax vs. The Riott Squad

Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match: Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Lucha House Party

RAW Tag Team Championship Match: The Street Profits vs. Angel Garza and Andrade

WWE Undisputed Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match: Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn

WWE United States Championship Match: Bobby Lashley vs. Apollo Crews

RAW Women’s Championship Kickoff Show Match: Asuka vs. Zelina Vega

NXT:TakeOver – UPDATED CARD

NXT Championship Match: Finn Balor vs. Kyle O’Reilly

NXT Women’s Championship Match: Io Shirai vs. Candice LeRae

NXT North American Championship Match: Damian Priest vs. Johnny Gargano

Star of the Week:

Alexa Bliss – A rockstar to be sure! Whether it’s been as a face or a heel, in the ring, out of the ring, on the mic or just being there, Miss Bliss is fabulous! And now, with this tweener chartacter with influence from The Fiend, she’s rocking it in every way! The glances and facial expressions are on point and we can’t wait to see where it goes next!

RAW

RESULTS

RAW Tag Team Championship #1 Contender Match: Andrade & Angel Garza defeated Humberto Carrillo & Dominik Mysterio and Seth Rollins & Murphy

Non-title WWE Championship Match: Drew McIntyre defeated Keith Lee via DQ

RAW Women’s Championship #1 Contender Match: Zelina Vega defeated Mickie James

Apollo Crews defeated Cedric Alexander

RAW Underground: Dolph Ziggler defeated Arturo Ruas

Non-title Women’s Championship Match: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler defeated Natalya & Lana

RAW Underground: Riddick Moss defeated Erik

Non-title RAW Women’s Championship Match: Asuka defeated Peyton Royce

RAW Underground: Braun Strowman defeated Dabba-Kato

The Hurt Business vs. RETRIBUTION went to a no-contest

#RETRIBUTION has spoken on #WWERaw. pic.twitter.com/aKMKxThhSG