#GENUINELY like matsuda and light's queerness. lets discuss that.

[quicktimeeventfull]

wanders into your inbox holding a cocktail. hey is it time for Death Note and Queerness Socratic Seminar on ur blog again? because im SO here to talk about light's use of heterosexuality as a protective performance and the degree to which this might represent intentional queercoding. unstructured ramblings incoming.

i think a point in favor of light's queercoding being intentional is that, during the yotsuba arc, he still is not attracted to misa. it's made clear that his lack of attraction to her is not a function of his "eeeeeevil" but is just. a thing about him. he's not into her. and yes, that could just mean misa isn't his type or something, straight men are allowed to not be into a given women, but as a choice made in a fictional work of art it feels significant that light does not exhibit any attraction to women even when he is not kira. his evaluation of women is purely intellectualized, a part of his edifice, a way for him to build the character of "Light Yagami"—a character that keeps him safe. his association with misa gets him almost caught, but his performance of heterosexuality with her gives him a degree of plausible deniability. misa and takada both become essential to his plans, but they are also threats to him, and things he has to manage...heterosexuality is a weapon and armor he uses, but it is also very clearly a harrowing and restraining thing for him to perform in the logic of the text.

in terms of his manipulation of takada, i think his gendered manipulation actually goes both ways here. yes, hes using his Understanding of Women to reel her in, but he's also using his Understanding of Men to lean on certain gendered assumptions and "bro culture" to kinda. trust that the task force will go along with it, if that makes sense. like, we've talked before about the task force being shitty about light basically cheating on his fiancee as far as they knew, but light didn't even consider the possibility that it would be an issue, and he was right.

the thing about light is that he is subject to constant invasions of his privacy and bodily autonomy. between ryuk and the task force, there is pretty much no point at which he is not subject to scrutiny and observation, and he just. accepts that, in order to either prove his innocence or keep up the ruse, he may have to give up his freedom of movement at any moment. there are literally no circumstances, not even in his most private moments, that he would ever permit himself to drop the facade of heterosexuality, because he knows he is constantly being watched. light yagami is a mask that cannot be allowed to slip. there are three moments post-timeskip that i think he shows actual emotional vulnerability: crying over his father, a conversation he has with matsuda about whether kira is evil, and the warehouse scene after he's revealed he's kira. i think it's very fair to say this is intentional on ohba's part.

[the bouncers start to eye me from the edge of the room]

anyway. it's remarkable that, despite this, light is actually able to keep his physical body intact and unharmed. at no point until the ending does he actually face physical consequences for the actions of kira (the fake execution is an exception but hes not kira at that point), allowing himself to keep those two personas separate, partially using the performance of heterosexuality. it's the gunshots in the ending that shatter that facade.

so you could in fact say that matsuda ruins his heterosexuality by shooting hot loads into him—

[THE BOUNCERS DRAG ME AWAY]

hi i don't have anything intelligent to say about this but you are SO incredibly correct about literally all of this. highlighting and quadruple underlining every single word. i am ESPECIALLY highlighting and quadruple underlining your point about takada -- like i honestly think a lot of light's dismissal of woman is intertwined inextricably from his understanding of how dangerous men can be. he's very well-versed in the World of Men, and he sees it imo that a lot of men don't, because the World of Men is inherently easier for straight men than gay men to navigate. like you have to learn the networks of power if you know there's a high chance they will be used against you. ANYWAY all just to say. consigning all of this. also i'm chasing those bouncers away bc you are literally correct about matsuda and his loads too.