#Fun fact! there's a forest in France that is the supposed origin of some of the king arthur legends which i did not expect

[prosebushpatch]

this current wip has just been me spending more time doing shallow research about manuscripts in Old French for a single simile rather than writing

[thebrownssociety]

Space Jam 2 AU [AKA Across The Serververse] Part 2.

Hey! Roxy Goth here. So, just a couple of quick note before we carry on, firstly -  from now on I think I’ll just have the title of this as ‘Across The Serververse’ and drop the Space Jam 2 AU bit. 

Secondly - I can’t remember exactly how Rhythm got the toons into the Servereverse, by that I mean if they literally just stepped into it, ALA Dom + LeBron or if they had to go into a spaceship like Marvin’s. 

So I’ve just done something that may or may not be right. Enjoy!

Warning: Swearing

*6 months later*

Pepe and Penelope were excited. After 6 awesome - but admittedly long - months they were finally coming back to Tune Town. As they had been last to be picked up last time it meant they were also last to be dropped off, so by this point they had the boat to themselves.

“Ah, mon leetle cherry-blossom.” Pepe said, embracing Penelope. “The other passengers, they have gone, which leaves a monsieur and a mademoiselle alone together. What do you suppose we do in ze short about of time we have?”

Penelope giggled and hugged him, but as she hugged him she got a view of their home world. “P-p-pepe-” She said, faintly.

Not liking the nervousness in his wife’s voice, Pepe turned and his jaw dropped.

Tune Town was deserted. There were no signs of life anywhere, tumbleweeds ambled lazily across the desert parts of it, while in the forest parts the trees had started to go somewhat wild. That had always been Elmer and Sam’s job [and Marvin’s, if he was around] to cut down the trees. So where were they?

Before either of them could really process what was going on, the trees started shaking with so so much force that Pepe and Penelope were inclined to cling to each other, despite the fact they were on a boat.

“What is it?” Penelope whispered.

“I don’t know.” Pepe said, forgetting to put on his French accent. 

Just then a small figure darted out of the trees and ran towards the beach. “Don't stop!” The voice of Bugs Bunny called. “Keep goin’!” They could see him properly now, running down the beach and along the jetty. When the boat got close enough the rabbit braced himself and jumped onto it, hitting the floor with so much force he became flat.

“Hey! You have to pay!” The boat-captain yelled, while Pepe shook Bugs so he became 2-D again.

The rabbit reached into hammerspace and pulled out a couple of notes before just hurling them at the captain with an impatient. “Dere, does dat cover it? Now-” He turned to his friends. “Am Oi glad ta see you two!”

Pepe and Penelope were to stunned to respond to that, there eyes taking in the rabbit’s appearance. His eyes were wild and excited, his chin had stubble on it, his fur was messy and unkempt and - the most worrying of all for Bugs Bunny - his ears were down. He had also seen fit to dress himself in a tramps outfit. 

Seeing his friends horrified look, Bugs looked down at himself and said. “Eh...I guess ya wanna know what happened, don’ cha?” Upon getting a nod Bugs yelled to the captain to ‘park it a moment!’ and - grabbing a torch out of nowhere - began with: “It all started a mere two weeks after you left meself, Daf and Elmer were practising our famous ‘Duck Season, Wabbit season’ routine, actually, ya know what? I’ll show ya in flashback. Hold on-” He put his hands to the side of his head and concentrated.

*Flashback starts*

“Duck season!” Bugs said, ripping down a poster,

“Wabbit season!” Daffy snapped, yanking down another poster.

“Duck season!”

“Wabbit season!”

“Duck-!”

Bugs was cut of in his witty comeback by Elmer suddenly sighing and sitting down on the grass.

Bugs and Daffy looked at each other in confusion, before simultaneously shrugging and sitting next to the hunter, one on each side of him. Bugs got a carrot out his hammerspace and took a bite. “Eh...what’s up, Hunter?”

“Sowwy.” Elmer said, tiredly. “I’m not feewing it today.”

“No prob-lemo!” Daffy said, before Bugs could speak. “What do you want to do? We could go to Australia!” He pulled down a backdrop of Australia, causing them all to sweat. “Or France!” He pulled down another backdrop and threw a string of onions round both his brothers necks. “Or England!” He pulled down another backdrop and grabbed a cup of tea out from hammerspace. “Justh name a place!”

Elmer, holding a cup of tea with a string of onions slung round his neck, looked wide-eyed and confused. “...Home?” He said, simply.

Daffy sighed and the backdrops fell around him. “Okay then. I suppose we’ve had enough for one day. Oh, Bugsy, Bugsy ol’ buddy, ol pal!” He slung an arm round the rabbits shoulders. “Might I enquire what you are making for dinner?”

“Eh...ya can ask.” Bugs said nonchalantly.

As Daffy started to try and barter his way into a good dinner, the scene switched to the middle of Tune Town, where a tall, black, slightly shimmering man was talking to the other LT’s.

Bugs’s eyes narrowed and he marched towards them, yelling. “Hey! Who de hell are you? Dis is a private island, ya know!”

“I am Al-G-Rhythm.” The guy said, smoothly. “I am Warner Bros newest mode of technology. The link between all of your worlds. The Serververse. No longer will you have to travel between world like a second-class citizen, you can all live in one place together.”

“An’ dis benefits us...how?” Bugs asked, not believing all this for a second.

“You get to expand your horizons. Actually go into other characters worlds. You can explore, who knows? Maybe even rebrand-”

“Eh...I don’t think so.” Bugs said, confidently. “We’ve done enough ‘rebranding’ over de past few years. We’re all good here.” The other toons nodded along with him. 

“That’sh what YOU think!” Daffy said, dramatically poking Bugs in the chest. “I for one would LOVE to spread my wings!”

“Eh...jus’ talk ta Warner Bros, Daf. I’m sure they can get you a role spoofing some of de other properties.” Bugs said, easily.

“Of course.” AL-G-Rhythm purred. “With the offer I’M making you you can go anywhere and be whoever you want to be. All of you.” He added, seeing the other Looney Tunes beginning to look interested. “Anything and anywhere you want to be. I mean, let’s face it, you’ve all done so much for this stup - I mean, Warner Brothers over the years, isn’t it time you cut loose and had some fun?”

Bugs’s eyes narrowed. The Looneys were perfectly capable of having fun without needing to go across the serververse, thank you very much. He looked around, expecting to see his family with similar expression, but instead they were all talking to each other about it and sounding...excited?

“I can take you anywhere you want to go.” Rhythm said, his voice raising a little above the noise. “Hogwarts, Austin Powers, Matrix, you name it, WB have probably done something with it at some time. And if you wanted to go back in time, no problem, we still have the Paramount Pictures stuff on a different planet.”

“Reawwy?” Elmer -who was a big fan of The [original] Addams Family - asked.

Rhythm smiled. “Reawwy - eh, really. All you have to do is step into the serververse...” He stepped to one side and a suddenly a glowing door appeared from nowhere. “...And you can go anywhere you want. Now...who’s with me?”

The other Looneys looked tempted, they really did.  But after a shared glance and one of those ‘telepathic conversations’ they were so good at, Porky shook his head and said, politely but firmly. “T-th-thanks for t-t-the offer, Mr R-r-rhythm, but if it’s all the sa-the sam - makes no difference to you, we’ll stay here.”

The other looneys nodded.

Al-G-Rhythms eyes grew hard and his voice dropped to a baritone level as he said. “Well...don’t say I didn’t try and do it the nice way.”

Before any of the toons could ask what he meant though, Rhythm raised his hands and every toons except Bugs was lifted in the air, all with various shouts of surprise.

Bugs heart pounded as he looked at his family's frightened faces - some of them were clearly in pain - and he yelled. “Let ‘em go! Take me if ya hav’ ta!”

The other Looneys all started yelling at him not to do it, that it was a stupid idea. Rhythm looked at the grey rabbit and seemed to be considering it. Then he shrugged and - with a dramatic swoop of the arms -  made all of Bugs family disappear. 

“NNNNNNOOOOOO!” Bugs yelled and kind of did a little dance where he tried to go to one side, then the other, but realised that unlike his cartoons he had no idea what had just happened. “A’ight Buster.” Bugs growled. “What the fuck have you done with my family?”

“Oh!” Rhythm said, with false innocence and Bugs’s fist itched to punch him. “That was your family? Oh...I had no idea. From the way you treat them I thought it was the ‘Bugs Bunny’ show.”

“Yeah, a’ight, ya made ya point. Now bring ‘em back!”

“And where would the fun be in that?” Rhythm smirked, then became deadly serious. “Now listen to me ‘wabbit’ and listen carefully, course I ain’t sayin’ this again. I have sent your assistants-”

“-Brothers and sisters you mean.” Bugs corrected.

Rhythm looked surprised. “You consider Lola Bunny a sister? I thought you were dating.”

“Eh...” Bugs waved a hand. “That’s in canon Doc. This is ‘off-stage’ so ta speak.”

Rhythm hummed thoughtfully then - remembering he was supposed to giving a monologue - carried on with. “Whatever they are to you is no matter. The point is they are all spread across the servisverse and they’ve all been sent to random places that-” He laughed. “-Hell, even I don’t know! And YOU-” He pointed at Bugs. “-Have 6 months to find them and if you DON’T they will be deleted!” He started laughing hysterically.

“Eh...” Bugs said, left eye beginning to twitch. “Ya know Warner Bros have access to the servers as well and will realise we’re not in our world? They’ll then send us back.”

Rhythm scoffed. “You think I’m an idiot? I’ve thought of that - you wanna know how? Well, FORGET IT!” He suddenly bellowed, getting right in Bugs’s face. “I’m not going to tell you! You’ll have to figure it all out for yourself. but I’ll make it fair for you.” He said, voice taking on a soft, almost fatherly quality. “I promise that I won’t look at your progress until the last day, deal? Then you can’t say I’ve interfered. Deal?”

Bugs yelled his protestations at the top of his lungs, but Rhythm just laughed and disappeared back into the serververse. 

*End flashback*

After the end of that flashback it was safe to say Pepe and Penelope were quite shocked. They were still trying to get there head around the fact that all this had happened in the 6 mere months they’d been away, when they heard a strange sound and saw Bugs crying.

Penelope hushed him and Pepe offered him a handkerchief. Bugs blew into it noisily at exactly the same time the horn blew before handing it back to Pepe who looked at it in disgust and threw it over the side of the ship. 

“So what happened after that?” Penelope asked, fearing she already knew the answer. “Where are they?”

“Oi don’t know, okay!?” Bugs wailed. “I don’t know! Dere in different worlds somewhere, but I don’t know where and I don’t know how it works! Oi don’t know if they’ve just gone to the worlds, but without being able to shift so they stand out like a sore thumb or if they’re replacing someone else within dat world! In which case, where’s de character dere replacin’? Oi don’t know which worlds dere in, oi don’t know if dere safe or happy or bein’ tortured - I DON’T KN-!”

*SLAP*

Bugs blinked and felt the imprint Penelope’s hand had just left on him. “T’anks. Oi needed dat.”

“We weel get them back.” Pepe said, placing a hand reassuringly on Bugs’s shoulder. “Myself and Penelope will help you. We will not rest until out family, it iz complete!”

Bugs smiled shakily and wiped his eyes. “Well, dere’s one issue with dat-” Seeing his brother and sister’s curious look he gave a half-hysterical laugh and asked. “Well, why do you t’ink oi’m still here? Oi can’t get out. I’ve tried goin’ back through to Warner Bros central, oi can’t do it. The portal we use physically won’t let me through. Oi t’ink Rhythm has put some kind of block on me. To stop me leaving so oi can’t find da others. It’s de only thing that makes sense. An’ I’ve tried different versions of me as well from all across the years. King me, jester me, classic me, new me. I even tried Ace Bunny, dat’s how desperate oi was! I can’t leave-”

“-What about Chungus?” Penelope asked. Seeing the weird looks Pepe and Bugs were giving her she explained. “It sounds like Rhythm has put some sort of block on YOU. But...Big Chungus...he isn't technically a version of you, is he? He started out as a meme taken from when you were shape-shifting”

“He’s in ‘World of Mayhem.” Bugs said, doubtfully.

“Which is a game!” Penelope said, excitedly. “Not a tv show! Have you tried it? No? Well, give it a go!”

Feeling excited for the first time in 5 and a half months Bugs took a breath and started to shape himself into the monstrosity that was Big Chungus. When he had finished he smiled, leapt onto the mast and - donning a pirate hat and sword - yelled. “Full steam ahead! Warner Bros Central here we come!”

As the exit - aka the portal - that led to Warner Bros Central loomed over him Bugs felt nervous. ‘Please work, please work, please work-” He chanted under his breath. 

Then with a flash of blinding light, they went through. 

[james-stark-the-writer-wips]

Of Witches And Demons - An Excerpt

Chapter 2: The Immortals. 

WC: 4000 words. Wanted to get this out asap tbh so it’s not the most polished thing but I hope you’ll forgive that and enjoy this!! If you wanna read a slightly more polished version, it’ll be up on wattpad soon so, 

LINK

(“Let’s go away a little. Different town, different people. Doesn’t matter where. Just know we’re not in Tenebris anymore although we will get back there soon. Does matter who. So pay attention.” Krilla said. Almadea nodded.)

“So,” Alice said, lighting the candle in her hand. “Who are we this time around?”

The forest was calm, quiet, isolated. They liked coming here a night. Listening to the crickets hiding in the grass, the hooting owls, seeing the moonlight giving everything a soft glow. It was magical. Even after so long, the magic hadn’t faded. The man beside Alice sighed as he looked away from the moon and towards her.

“Who do you want to be?” He took the candle from her. “Billionaires? Eccentrics? Business owners?”

“I can’t decide, Xan.” Alice said.

A soft breeze began to blow, carrying cool water along with it. The candle flame flickered as the wind blew past it. Xander put a hand around the flame to keep it from going out.

“So, you’re here. Took you long enough.” Xander said.

A branch crunched under the foot of the man walking towards Xander.

“I’m sorry I don’t finish as fast as you do, Xander.” The man said.

“You took an unusually long time.” Xander replied.

“I take a perfectly okay time, Xan. You’d think you’d know after two centuries together.” The man stopped in place. The wind began to die down.

“I should, I suppose.” Xan nodded. “Anyway, get over here, Cy.”

“So why the meeting outside?” Cyrus asked.

“I wanted to talk about our plans on Thursday.”

“Couldn’t we have had this conversation in the house?” He protested.

“I wanted the fresh air. Now get over here and stop whining.” Xander said. Cyrus let out a frustrated groan and walked over to the two of them.

“So, have you decided who we’re going to be?” Cyrus asked Alice.

“Well, I’m not sure yet. But definitely something new, someone we haven’t been yet.” She said.

“New, huh?” Cyrus chuckled softly.

“Let’s start at the basics. What have we been?” Xander said.

“Doctors, magicians, circus folk, philanthropists, bakers, politicians...” Cyrus began.

“So, what do you think, Alice?” Xander asked.

“How about ourselves?” Alice said.

“Don’t be naive, Alice. You know we can’t do that.” Cyrus said.

“I’m not saying tell everyone who we are.”

“Then what are you proposing, Alice? You know I hate vague people.” Cyrus leaned against a tree.

“Let’s be a family again instead of distant siblings. I’m tired of playing siblings.”

“Then, what? You wanna be my mother?” Cyrus scoffed.

“It’s not the 1800s, Cy.” Alice replied, picking up the candle and putting it to her nose. “You’d be my father. Besides, you are older than me.”

“You want me and Xander to be your fathers?” Cyrus said.

“Yes. And what’s the problem? You two used to date each other, right?” Alice vaguely pointed at both of them.

“There’s no problem, I’m just confirming.”

Xander interrupted before Cyrus could get another word in. “That’s fine and all, Alice, but what do we do? You know, for a living?”

“We’re rich, that’s for sure. I have had enough of being poor. We’re immortal, for fuck sake. There’s no fun being poor. Certainly not in this world.” She grumbled.

“Okay. Then you better come up with a good reason for us being rich.”

Alice pondered over it for a minute. What should they be? People would ask, that’s for sure. After so many years, Alice had learned that people couldn’t help but stick their noses in other people’s businesses. 

Alice snapped her fingers. “Ooh, how about you be oil princes?” She said. “We haven’t done that yet.”

“Both of us?” Cyrus asked.

“No. Don’t be silly. There’s no way anyone would believe that. It’d be more plausible if you started the business together after you met and fell in love or you started the business then fell in love but that feels old.”

“Then, what, pray tell, should we be? It’s your turn, Alice. Otherwise we skip your turn and we do my thing.” Xander said.

“No! We did your thing the last time we moved. I’ll think of something. Just give me a second.”

Cyrus sighed. “Okay, then. Take the night to sleep on it. We have a long trip ahead of us soon, anyway.”

“At least we’re sure of the location, yes?” Alice asked.

Xander nodded. “Yes. That hasn’t changed.”

“Where was it again?” Cyrus asked.

“You know where it is.” Xander said.

“I wasn’t listening when you said it.”

“You’ve got to start paying more attention, Cyrus. You’re wasting that photographic memory of yours.”

“Please, let’s not do this right now, Xan. Just tell me where we’re going. And let’s let Alice decide till tomorrow, yes?”

“Sure, whatever.” Xander let out a soft sigh. “We’re going to Tenebris.” He turned to Alice. Let’s go.” He put a hand on Alice’s back and turned to Cyrus. “You coming?”

“Go on ahead. I’ll catch up. I’m going to enjoy some of that fresh air you dragged me out here for.” Cyrus said. 

Xander handed him the candle and began to walk away. 

“Where the fuck is Tenebris?” Cyrus called out.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” Xander kept walking.

“Don’t be vague, Xan.” Cyrus shouted but Xander and Alice had already walked away. 

A slight smile crept onto Cyrus’s face without permission as looked up at the moon, its glimmering light illuminating the entire forest in a silver blanket. Anyone who says the night is evil has never looked at the moon. He thought.

He put his hands in his pockets. The air seemed to grow colder every passing second. He could smell the fresh, wet grass from last night’s shower. It clung to the air like glue, filling it with a soft hint of earthiness everywhere.

He began to walk back towards the mansion they currently resided in. They owned the forest (at least parts of it) and the mansion. They’d bought it to make sure the number of tresspassers and onlookers would go down and it had helped a lot, actually.

But people were getting suspicious. It was time to pack up and move, as they did every twenty or so years, whenever they thought someone was onto them. They’d lived in France, Italy, Russia, Switzerland, India, Japan, Canada, Brazil, Mexico and every big city and country in the world. Now they’d had enough of the city life — one of the primary reasons they’d moved to this town from NY, in fact —  and wanted to move somewhere more quiet and peaceful. 

While cites sure had their advantages —  a prominent one being everyone was too busy to give a shit about new people in town — it got lonely over time. And even in big cities, there was no escaping nosy neighbours.

Though it had been only nine years in this town, they’d decided to move somewhere they could live in peace. A place where they wouldn’t have to worry about getting shot or killed and being found out. This town had its charm but even it’s residents were wondering why the people in the mansion didn’t seem to age a day in the last few years. They’d started believing the ‘good genes, I guess’ excuse even less every time it was told to them.

Cyrus had personally seen what happened when humans found out about one of them being an Immortal.

When Cyrus had been granted the opportunity to be an Immortal, there were eight of them. Now, only Cyrus and Xander remained of the original eight. The others had either died, left to live in isolation or moved away to try their best to stay out of regular human business, trying to live normal lives unhindered.

Alice had only recently – 167 years ago, to be precise – joined them but she was a fine addition. She was the first woman to be turned in almost five centuries.

Cyrus took in a deep breath, letting all of nature’s beautiful smell consume his body as if tasting wine. He took his hands out of his pockets and blew on them to warm them up a bit. It was freezing out here.

Time to head back, he thought as he turned around and began to walk uphill back to the mansion.

With over twenty rooms in the mansion, the place was fit for kings (and had actually once belonged to a prince, of sorts). Everything about this place screamed ‘We have too much money’. Which wasn’t a bad thing, really. They had actually helped build an orphanage in the city, which had finished construction three weeks ago.

The mansion sat alone on a cliff, with no houses for miles and no one to disturb them. From the balcony, you could see the entire town in all its glory.

In one corner, smoke arose from the town’s bakery as Keith, the owner of said bakery, baked the last bread of the day, shutting down for the night. 

In another corner, if you lived in a mile radius, you could her Mrs. Radley screaming at her husband for being home late again. As the clock struck ten, the town began to close up, with only the twenty four hour pharmacy and the famous Powers’ Coffee Shop staying on.

Even in this small town, you could see a few people sitting in the coffee shop, writing away on their laptops all night long. It was the students from the nearby college that came out to Powers’ for their famous coffee.

Justin Powers and a single employee kept the shop open all day with them looking after it during the day while Justin’s son Max looked after it at night. 

And their coffees were delicious. And, thankfully close by to Joanna’s Pie Shop, the best pies you’ll ever taste.

And in two days time, they would all be a faint memory, never to be seen again, if possible.

Cyrus made his way into the mansion. All the lights had been turned off, no surprise there, and Alice had gone to bed.

Xander, on the other hand, sat by the fireplace, a glass of expensive whiskey in hand and a novel in the other.

“I’m gonna go sleep, Xan. I’ll see you in the morning.” Cyrus said.

“Mmhmm.” Xander said, flipping a page in his book.

Cyrus walked up the stairs and found his way to his bedroom, the smallest of all the rooms in the mansion, and crawled into bed, pulling the covers onto him.

He reached under his bed and grabbed the long stick he kept there. He quickly extended it to the opposite wall and flicked off the light switch. He put the stick back in its place and opened the curtains behind his bed. As he closed his eyes, he found sleep quickly.

-

As the sun rose above the horizon, Alice woke up, yawning, gently outstretching her arms. She had given much thought to what they should be… and nothing seemed as exciting as good old star crossed lovers. Ala gay Romeo and Juliet. Except without the dying part.

She pushed the bed covers aside, heading straight for the bathroom. She couldn’t wait to tell Xan and Cy what she’d chosen. As she took a quick shower, she began to iron out the details of how it would work and what their story would be. Sure, star crossed lovers was old and cliche, but it was perfect. To be honest, she was always trash for Shakespeare and star crossed lovers. This was a perfect pit. Besides, they’d been siblings for far too long.

About twenty minutes later, the clock rang nine and Alice stepped out of the shower, quickly drying herself off and slipping on a nice pair of jeans and a plain red t-shirt.

She rushed down the stairs, jumping two steps at a time, making her way to the dining table where a sleepy Cyrus sat, slowly sipping on his coffee. Besides him sat Xander eating his regular bowl of cornflakes.

“Guys!” Alice said, rushing to take a seat besides Cyrus.

“Please, just…softer.” Cyrus said, halfway through a sip.

“Just listen. I’ve decided.”

“About?” Xan asked

“Our cover.”

“Alice. Softer.” Cy scolded.

“Shut up, dick.” Alice snarked. She turned her attention to Xan. “So, our cover. I know what we wanna be.”

“Alice, you know what we say about cussing at the table.”

“You’re not my dad!” Alice said.

Xander had a rule about being civilized at the table. It was a surprise he’d managed to uphold it all these years, especially with Alice and Cyrus in the house — half their vocabulary was curse words.

“Well I’m gonna be soon, apparently so you better start listening, right?” Xander retorted.

“Ugh, I hate you.” Alice groaned.

“Perfect. Means I’m being a good parent.”

“So much wrong with that statement but we don’t have the time to explain all that. Anyway can you just listen to me?”

“Alright alright. Go on, I’m listening.” He shoved a spoonful of cornflakes into his mouth.

“Right. Our story. You two are, drum roll please,” She paused until Xan put down his spoon and reluctantly did a little series of taps on the table, “star crossed lovers.”

“Good god.” Cyrus sighed. “Why did we let her choose again?”

“I can hear you, you know.” Alice said.

“Her birthday comes up soon. It’s her gift.” Xan reminded, not noticing it was a rhetorical question.

“So,” Alice continued, unfazed. “I’ve been thinking all night and Xan was the rich guy…”

“Obviously.” Xan said, taking a bite of his food. Alice rolled her eyes.

“Would you just let me tell it?”

“Okay!” Xan backed off. “Sorry.”

“Right, so, Xan was the rich guy. You met at a mutual friend’s party, had drinks together and hooked up. Cyrus was still in the closet at the time and his dad was super homophobic. But, you kept seeing Xan because you felt a connection. When you meet him the second time, three days have passed. Xan sees you and says, “I’ve been waiting for you.” And you ask, “For three days?” and he nods and you kiss him in public for the first time. You stay over for the night but the next day your dad finds out. He’s threatened to cut you off if he sees you with Xan again.” She paused for a breath.

“But, you like him so much, you risked being broke. Your family isn’t super rich, but you do pretty well. You went off to live with Xan and your dad said he cut you off. But, your dad suddenly falls ill only you don’t learn that until a week later when your mom calls you to his funeral. He couldn’t bear to see you go and he died of a heart attack. When his will is read after the funeral, you realize he never took you out of it. In fact, he left you most of his possessions. You give a lot of it to your mom and you and Xan continue living together. After two years, you have an amazing fall wedding. Then the year after that, you adopted me from an orphanage at age six or something. At this point, Xan is 28 and Cy, you’re 26. And since then, it’s been like eight or nine years and now I’m starting high school.”

Xan almost spit out his milk. “Wait, hold up. You’re going to high school?”

“Yeah, I mean, I didn’t really get to go back when I turned and I haven’t really been to one since. It’ll be a good learning experience. Plus what am I gonna be? Homeschooled? I need to start hanging out with people my own age!”

“Good luck finding a hundred and seventy year old people. Do you need me to buy you a graveyard, hon?” Cyrus teased. Alice ignored him.

“It’s going to be awful. You haven’t been to school for what, a hundred and sixty eight years at this point?” Xander said.

“Sixty seven.” Alice corrected. “Sixty eight next month.”

“Yeah, a lot has changed since then.”

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll pick things up quick.” Alice reassured him. “Plus there will be cute boys and girls there.” She added softly.

“You can’t be serious.” Cyrus put his cup down, fully awake now, and turned to Xander for an answer.

“Oh, come on, Xan.” Alice begged.

“Eh, let her do it. She’ll be fine. You know how she can be if she doesn’t get what she wants.” Xan resigned, after some thought. He continued eating.

“Yay!” Alice squealed, jumping out of her seat. “You lose, I win!” She stuck her tongue out, making a face at Cy. He ignored her.

Alice blew a raspberry. She turned to Xan. “So, when do we leave?”

“Tomorrow afternoon, earlier if we can manage it.” He chewed on his food before continuing. “Start packing, say your goodbyes.”

“Great. I’m gonna go do that then.” Cy stood up and left the room.

“I’m gonna go to Joanna’s then. Grab some breakfast and say goodbye.”

“Bring something back for me and Cy, yeah?” Xan said.

“Sure.” Alice grabbed her coat, her purse, the car keys and rushed out the door.

-

Joanna’s Pie Shop was a quaint little shop, tucked between a McDonald’s and a Starbucks. But it got by surprisingly well, all because of how goddamn delicious Joanna’s pies were.

Alice had eaten a lot of things in her relatively small existence but having had a taste of Joanna’s pies was her most proud moment. 

“Joanna!” She called out as she pushed open the door and walked in.

“Coming, darling!” Joanna’s voice came from inside the kitchen. “Just getting some pies ready. Be out in a minute. Take a seat.”

Alice took a seat on the black bar stools by the counter and sat patiently as she waited for Joanna to come out.

Joanna arrived from the kitchen with thick gloves and trays with steaming hot pies, her apron covered in flour.

“Hot from the oven!” She announced, placing the tray on the counter and slipping off the thick gloves. “Want a slice?”

“Yeah.” Alice said. “A full Chocolate Coconut Creme for me, two slice of green apple for Cy and a slice of Pumpkin pie for Xander.”

“Coming right up.” Joana said. “Feel free to help yourself to some coffee if you want.” She grabbed a mug from behind her and handed it to Alice.

“Thanks, Jo. You’re the best.”

Joana smiled before disappearing back into the kitchen.

As Alice sipped on her coffee, Joana walked out of the kitchen with the pies. “Here ya go, hon.” She quickly stuffed them into a large box and handed it to Alice.

“Thanks. How much is it?” Alice asked.

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s on the house. I’m in a good mood today. Plus you’ve already done so much for us.”

“Oh, come on, Jo. This’ll be the last time you get to charge me.”

Joana gave her a puzzled look, “What do you mean, hon?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about…” Alice said. 

“You’re not dying or nothing, right, hon?”

“No, no. Nothing like that.” Alice reassured her.

Joana let out a deep sigh of relief “Well, good. Then what is it?”

“We’re moving. Me, Xan and Cy.”

“Moving?” Joana gasped. “Where?” 

“It’s far. That’s all I can tell you about it. It’s family business.”

“But you’ll come back eventually, right?” Joana asked.

“No, I’m afraid not. We’ll be staying there permanently.” Alice said softly.

“Permanently?” Joana couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

Alice nodded. “So, this is… technically, goodbye.”

Joana choked up. “When uh— When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow. Afternoon. Maybe earlier.”

“Oh. Alright then.” Joana cleaned her hand on her apron and wiped off a tear.

“I’m sorry, it’s just the decision was so sudden. We made plans last night.”

“No, it’s fine. Just, before you leave, promise me you’ll stop by one last time? For old times sake?”

“I’ll try, Jo.”

“No, promise me, Alice. Just stop by before you leave. It shouldn’t take very long.”

“I’m sorry, it’s out of my hands. But I’ll try my best.”

“Very well then. I hope you come.” Joana started to go back in the kitchen.

Alice held up the box. “Joana? How much?”

“Like I said, Alice. They’re on the house. Enjoy them. I’m not gonna charge you and that’s final.”

Alice smiled. “I’m gonna miss you, Jo.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, hon.” Joana disappeared back into the kitchen.

Alice sighed and walked out of the shop.

-

The next day came quickly and everyone rushed frantically to stuff their things into a million bags. It’s insane how much junk you collect over the years. A lot of it would go into the storage facility they’d kept over the years but beyond that, everything else they were attached to came with them.

This time, the furniture, most of the paintings, the utensils, some small things and other stuff they didn’t want all stayed. They’d decided to donate the mansion to the city and open it to the public for free use by anyone. Xander had even talked to some of the townspeople to turn it into a lodging for the homeless free of cost of something similar. But now they had to leave so who knew what would happen to the house?

The truck came, the important stuff was loaded in and Cyrus and Alice sat in the car, waiting for Xander to lock everything up and bring out his bags. Finally, he did come out and got in the car.

“Ready?” He asked, putting on his seatbelt.

“Yeah.” Cyrus said. 

“Hey, Xan, you mind if we stop by Joana’s? She asked me to stop by if we could.”

“What’s the time right now?”

“It’s uh, 1:36 pm.” Cyrus said.

“Sure. We’ve got some time to kill. I guess that’d be alright. Plus I have to go give the house keys away too.”

“Great. Just drop me off at hers then and come pick me up after you’re done.”

“Alright, give me a second to go tell the driver the plans have changed.” Xander said, getting out of the car. He returned quickly.

“He’s gonna go ahead and he’ll be waiting on the outskirts of town for us to lead the way.”

“Cool.” Cyrus said. “Turn the AC on and let’s go already.” He put in headphones and lied down on the backseat, using his forearm as a pillow. “And wake me up when we get there.”

Xander sighed. “Fine.”

The car whirred to life.

-

Joana stood idly in the shop, expectantly staring at the door, waiting for Alice and the other two to arrive.

As she saw their car turning the bend, she rushed out from behind the counter and ran outside.

“You came!” She said as Alice opened the car door.

“Yeah.” Alice said.

“No, no don’t get out.” Joana said. “Or I’m going to start crying and I don’t want to ruin my makeup. “Just wait here, I’ll be back in a second.”

“O-okay.” Alice said.

“What’s wrong?” Xander asked.

“She told me to wait here.”

“Fine.” Xander said.

Joana reemerged from the shop carrying a large box of pies. She quickly handed it to Alice.

“What’s this?” Alice asked, opening the box. 

“It’s my coveted smores pie. With extra marshmallows. Made them specially for you this morning.”

“Thank you, Joana.”

“I’m gonna miss you, hun.” 

“I’m gonna miss you too.” Alice said.

“Now go, before the waterworks start.” Joana said.

Alice nodded, closing the car door. As the car drove away, Joana waved a last goodbye.

-

Almost thirty six straight hours of driving later, Xander called out for Cyrus who had woken up and gone to sleep multiple times at this point.

“Cy, we’re almost there.” Xander said.

“We’re here?” Cyrus sat up, rubbing his eyes.

“Just about. We’ll be there in five.”

“Great.” Cyrus said.

The car slowly cruised along the road, the truck following behind as they passed into Tenebris’s borders. 

“Welcome to Tenebris, babe.” Xander said to Cyrus. 

“I am not calling you babe.” Cyrus said.

“You better start.” Xander said. “Our daughter wants us to, don’t you, hun?”

“Mmhmm.” Alice said.

“Fuck you both.” Cyrus said.

“Yeah, love you too, babe.”

Cyrus let out a frustrated groan. God, he wished this wouldn’t last long. It already felt weird. But, here they were: in Tenebris, a town smackdab in the middle of fucking nowhere. And for a while, this would be their home.

*

[wildfcress]

"never have i been a calm sea // i am a storm” storm - fleetwood mac

“fire in her bones // honey in her soul // she is sweet when she has to be // and fierce when she needs to be” - unknown

Background

Full name: 

Lily Josephine Evans

Lily (English): Lily flower. Pure. The symbolism of a lily is innocence, purity, and beauty.

Josephine [Jo-SUH-Feen] (French): May Jehovah add. Named after her grandmother on her mother’s side, Josephine Campbell.

Evans (Welsh): Son of Evan; Gracious gift of Jehovah

Age: 

16

Birthday: 

January 30th, born and raised in Cokeland 

Cokeland is located in the Midlands in England, so I think that in a real geographic perspective she grew up in what would be our Copeland, England.

Blood Status 

Muggleborn

Zodiac Sign: 

Aquarius

If it’s new, radical and rebellious, Aquarians are all over it. The fact that these folks can think so creatively and inventively is one of their greatest assets. Water Bearers are all about progress and technology — they love the latest gadgets, gewgaws, computers, and next-generation technologies. Thanks to a genius that borders on insanity (!), those born under this sign have the unique ability to present ideas that will revolutionize the world. Their approach in doing so may be unpredictable, impersonal and at times cold.

Generally, that means ample space, since Aquarius traits tend to be freedom-loving and individualistic, these folks need to roam (and yes, they do enjoy travel). While Aquarians are generally sympathetic and compassionate, they like it when things go their own quirky way. Some might call their behavior eccentric (and they would be right), but when you consider that the Aquarian’s heart is truly in the right place, a few oddities should be overlooked. In their own way, Aquarians treasure their many friends and acquaintances and want to give back as much as they can.

At play, those born under an Aquarius sun sign like to surround themselves with lots of people, preferably family and friends. When it comes to love, this star sign will also be playful, even flirtatious. While they play for keeps, it won’t necessarily feel that way, since these folks are the opposite of jealous. The great strengths of the Aquarius-born are their vision, intellect and humanity. They are determined to make the world a better place and to help everyone they can along the way. They are truly the trailblazers of the zodiac.

(+) Affectionate,  Progressive, Humanitarian

(-) Temperamental, Aloof, Uncompromising

What’s their family life like?:

Her mother Aisla (Elle-sa) Evans (nee Campbell) works as a seamstress and her father Christopher Evans owns a convenience store. Her older sister Petunia Evans is currently going to Imperial College London for Communications and Public Affairs. 

She’s always been really close with her mother, but her and her father have never quite seen eye to eye. Her and Petunia used to be attached by the hip until Lily started to display magic. Losing her sister was like losing part of herself; being as close as the two were, she struggled to find herself again after that loss. To this day she refuses to lose hope that they’ll reconnect one day.

When did magic first begin to manifest itself?:

She was nine and she was playing in her grandma’s garden and accidentally crushed her lavender plant. When she picked it up it rebloomed in her hand.

School

Wand Characteristics:

10 1/4 inches, Willow, Dragon Heartstring, Swishy

Willow; those with willow wands are known to have unwanted insecurity and great potential. Lily hates how insecure she could get. She tries to hide it, mainly through studying and making sure everything is as perfect as possible. They perform strong non-verbal spells and often goes to those who feel they have a lot to learn. A proverb in the Ollivander family says “he who has furthest to travel will go fastest with willow.”

Dragon Heartstring: The only thing on the face of the earth as temperamental as Lily. When she first got it it would not. Stop. Blowing up in her face. Literally and metaphorically. So she started working even harder to make sure that a stupid piece of wood wasn’t beating her, and she eventually learned how to get it under control. Wands with a dragon heartstring core are known to produce the strongest magic. They can also change allegiance when won in a battle, and it bonds fiercely to its owner. Whenever someone in her dorm tried to use it...well, the walls were pink for weeks.

How long did it take the wand to choose them?:

She found it on the seventh wand. She thought that was normal, but then the person after her found theirs in one shot so she was like....a LIL OFFENDED TBH.

House:

Gryffindor 

How long did it take the sorting hat to sort them?:

Five minutes. It had a hard time deciding whether to sort her into Gryffindor or Slytherin, because of her strong leadership, bravery, and ambition. But ultimately it decided on Gryffindor because of her brashness beat out everything else.

How do they feel about their common room/dorm?:

Loves them! The colors and overall atmosphere of the common room are so fucking comfy to her, being in it always puts her in a good mood. She practically lives in front of the fireplace. As for her dorm, she’s decorated her space with tons of posters, letters, polaroids she’s taken through the years, and fairy lights around her bed, so it’s pretty much a safe haven.

Year: 

6th

If they could go to another school, where would they go?:

Beauxbatons! She’s a hopeless romantic, so she’d love to actually live in france and go to school there!! Like, wow!! Two birds with one stone!! Their uniforms are much cuter, and she’s heard nothing but amazing things about their academics. Or Ilvermorny, because she’s interested in the fact that it was originally just a homeschool, which turned into a small group before eventually evolving into the school it is today. 

Best classes:

Charms, Potions

Worst Classes:

Transfiguration, Divination

Patronus: 

Doe. Like a doe, Lily is observant, protective of those close to her, nurturing, gentle, and determined.

Memory they’d use to conjure it:

Her seventh birthday. Her favorite aunt, Marabell, surprised her at her grandmother’s house with the astronaut Barbie doll she wanted. There was snow covering the ground and they explored the forest by her grandmother’s house until it started getting dark. When they went inside they had dinner (chicken franchise - her favorite) and after they were done cleaning up she helped her grandmother made lemon cake.

What does Amortentia smell like to them?:

Lemons, a woodsy smell, and a third scent she really can’t recognize

Are they in any clubs?:

Slug Club & Dueling Club

Did they bring a pet? If yes, what?:

She brought a white cat named Priscilla (Petunia named her, she wanted to name it Snowball)

How often do they get packages from home?:

All. The. Time. Her parents always send her newspapers, magazines, and candy from home.

Do they earn detentions often?:

If she got caught doing half the shit she does, she’d be in detention a lot more. BUT she’s good at hiding it. Some rules are meant to be broken, and being a prefect sure as hell has its perks. 

Are they the type to gain or lose house points:

Gain.

Would they go to the Yule Ball? Who would they ask?:

You bet your ass she would. And she’d probably definitely go with Mary. Their actual dates can come too.

Do they play quidditch? If so, what position?:

Not currently, but she’s thinking about trying out for chaser next year if there’s a spot open.

Favorite color:

Pink 

Describe their aesthetic in 3 words:

Black flower Doc Martens. Messy hair. Overly sized sweaters.

Theme song:

Believer by Imagine Dragons

Top 5 songs in their playlist:

Dog Days Are Over - Florence and the Machine

Edge of Seventeen - Fleetwood Mac

Long Live - Taylor Swift

Now I Can Talk - Two Door Cinema Club

Nights - Frank Ocean

Vine that fits them: 

x x x x

3+ wanted connections: 

frenemy: someone that just grates her nerves. there’s no obvious reason as to why she doesn’t like them, but something about them makes her want to drive her head and theirs through a wall.

old flame: based off this song, something beautifully unofficial. lily has a huge heart and falls easily, so maybe something that was supposed to be nothing ended up being a lot more? possibly one sided? who knows. 

drinking buddies: can be multiple people! when shit gets real someone she could just drown her problems away with.

sass masters: this friendship is a lot of banter, light hearted insults, and teasing. they’re just having fun tbh.

quidditch: she wants to try out for quidditch next year, so someone to help her train and actually figure out what the fuck she’s doing

tutor: someone she tutors. simple as thAT

child: lily has taken this person under her wing and will do absolutely anything to protect them. she’s going all mama hen

unlikely friendship: lily can befriend a wALL. okay. so this is a friendship that you absolutely wouldn’t expect but it’s here 

fight club: she ALWAYS argues with this person. like every word out of their mouth just pisses her off immensely. even their presence makes her want 2 cry

internet: hogwarts is a big school, so i think it’d be fun to play with her befriending someone online and like just not knowing who they are in real life. they know each others name and houses and whatever but they’ve never actually met.

enemies: very self explanatory

more tba probably

Miscellaneous (Anything else you want to add): 

headcanon time!!

during school breaks she gets jobs around her town. not only does it give her muggle experiences that she wanted to have when she was younger, but she also feels guilty asking her parents for money every couple of months.

 she has two sets of school notes. one is the chickenscratch she takes during class, the second is a neater version of it that’s highlighted and bulleted and annotated. 

she’s HUGE into bullet journals

or just journaling for that matter. she thinks it’s fun

professional stealer of clothes. ur shirt missing? lily has it. ur pants? also lily’s. you probably won’t get it back.

her favorite candy is sugar quills (the white ones cause she’s basic)

the better her mood, the more sugar she puts in her coffee/tea

prefers coffee over tea

she knows every word to every one direction song

would much rather not wear shoes 

always has muggle pens and papers on her because you never know

she can NEVER have her nails done. she can for like a night but she’ll always end up picking it off

super cuddly. will more than likely fall asleep on you

is pretty much a cat

if she’s close with you, you have no faults. she will ignore everything wrong with them until she’s absolutely forced to face it. but once that trust is gone, it’s gone for good

[thelittlemerms]

I have been trying to find a feminist critique of Giselle and I have yet to find one so I’m just going to ramble my half-assed ideas and I’m going to tag @word-whimsy because you seem to vaguely care about my Giselle posts and probably can fact check me and fill in some of my gaps in feminist history. 

Giselle was written in 1841 in France, and was set in Germany which a lot of these supernatural type stories from the romantic era are and is the equivalent of setting something in a galaxy far far away today. 

Mary Wollstonecraft lived in the 1700s and also in the 1700s one of the founders of Ballet pantomime was a woman named Marie Salle and she once dressed as a man for a performance and people were like “bitch no why?” So what I have established was that feminism *existed* at the time of Giselle being made and it existed in ballet but to what extent or what the feminist thinking of the time was/what the popular reactions were, I don’t know. 

Anyway this is to say there is a possibility that the Willis, ghosts of women who kill all men they see, are intended to be like The Bad Evil Feminists that we should distrust. Buuuuut I’m not 100% convinced that’s the case because like, for how terrifying of a concept they are, they don’t actually seem like they’re intended to be creepy so much as they’re intended to be tragic and beautiful, and I’d even venture to say we might even be supposed to empathize with them given that they’re all supposed to be heartbroken women who died too young.

And in the scene where they dance Hilarion to death it kinda feels like....we’re supposed to be on the Willis side a bit? even though Hilarion, at best, is guilty of slight stalking (and breaking and entering, I guess) and really is just quilty of loving someone who doesn’t love him back. Like I can’t actually figure out if Hilarion was intended to be seen as a good guy or not, because on the one hand he basically has the equivalent of the pink panther theme following him around when he’s on stage, but on the other hand he’s basically the narrator of the story and the one who is driving the plot in the first act (in the old version, over time a lot of his parts have been shortened or taken out). I can’t really put my finger on it but I still get the sense that we’re not really supposed to feel bad that Hilarion dies, that we’re supposed to think he deserved it for some reason. (here’s an example of the scene in question, if it helps) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTVmfL1nIXU#t=1h3m02s

As for Albrecht, while he’s not that likeable of a character in my opinion, when I think of the lore of “women who dies because men broke their hearts” it kind of feels like cheating/lying about your identity is a relatively small offense and that a lot of the Willis probably went through much worse things than Giselle. Like, I think what might set Giselle apart is that what Albrecht did is pretty forgivable, but the other Willis may have experiences they are less willing to forgive. 

Like, it’s probably the case that the Willis are all meant to be virgins given the whole white dress and veils thing, but pretty up there on the list of “reasons women would die because of men breaking their hearts” involves rape. which got me thinking that if we replaced “dance” “sex” than the Willis lore changes from “young girls who liked to dance in life and now must dance in death” their lore becomes “girls who had sex before wedlock and now can’t be at rest because of their sin” which would also play off the fact that Willis can’t touch crosses. (and probably also the lore of faeries being spirits that can’t go to heaven but don’t deserve to be in hell)

Which of course would mean that Giselle doesn’t go mad simply because Albrecht is engaged to someone else, but because he’s engaged to someone else and he took her virginity and she thinks he’s going to leave her as a non-virgin with all the happy fun stuff being an unmarried non-virgin meant in her society. 

Now that is probably not what the original intention was in the least, but it’s an interesting thought I had. 

As a side note, a bunch of women living together in a forest where men aren’t allowed and doing nothing but dancing together is....kinda gay. just saying. 

[travelling-trooper-blog]

Karlsruhe Day 1:

Many moons ago, I had the privilege of working with Mr. G. We taught at the same school. To this day, he is one of the most interesting and intelligent people I’ve ever met. He’s travelled the world twice over; he has a deep-rooted passion for music that was instilled in him at a very young age; he has a clearly defined moral compass and holds strongly to his values; he has an opinion about just about everything under the sun. He’s my kind of guy. Despite the generational gap between us and the fact that our views and opinions sometimes differed, we could always engage in fascinating conversations with complete mutual respect and time would just melt away.

It is for these reasons that I was excited to visit Mr. G in Karlsruhe.

The added bonus, of course, was that I’d get to meet the captivating and delightful Britta. We’d met once briefly in Toronto, but I didn’t really know much about her. By the end of our four nights in Karlsruhe, though, I’d be sad to have to say goodbye. I loved her thoughtfulness, her silly sense of humour, and the way her face scrunches up ever so adorably whenever she laughed. Sadly, Britta was a bit under the weather during our time in Karlsruhe, so she wasn’t able to accompany us on too many outings.

Mr. G met us at the train station when we first arrived in Karlsruhe. We passed the afternoon catching up over tea/coffee. This would prove to be a common occurrence over the next few days, as coffee is Mr. G’s drug of choice, and it always provided us with ample time to chat about this or that. In fact, at one point, while at their apartment, Britta came across a photograph of Mr. G that she said perfectly encapsulated everything about him. He was sitting happily in a cafe, his coffee by his side.

We took a leisurely stroll around Karlsruhe Palace, during which time Mr. G made three seemingly preposterous claims: 1) The decision to establish the border between America and Canada along the 49th parallel played out in Karlsruhe. 2) The bicycle was invented in Karlsruhe. 3) The layout for the city of Washington, D.C. is inspired by the layout of Karlsruhe. While I can’t find anything online to verify the former statement, the latter two are 100% true. Baron Karl Von Drais of Karlsruhe holds the distinguished honour of having invented what we know as the bicycle. And during his time as American envoy to France, Thomas Jefferson visited Karlsruhe. Later on, he passed on 13 maps of European cities to the city planners in Washington, and one of them was Karlsruhe.

Mr. G took us back to his place, where the lovely Britta was waiting for us. We put our bags away and headed back into the city for some awesome Indian buffet. And so ended our first evening in Karlsruhe.

Karlsruhe Day 2: Mr. G took us to Heidelburg to explore the city and check out the castle. We had about 40 minutes to kill while we waited for our connecting train in Mannheim, and so we visited the water tower and beautiful city centre.

It’s sad to see just how badly Mannheim–like so many other German cities–was bombed during the war. Buildings new and old stand side by side, but it’s the pre-war buildings that give these cities their charm. Walking through Germany is a terrible and tragic history lesson.

We eventually made our way to Heidelburg. It’s a quaint little town with your typical touristy shops, restaurants, and cafes lining the pedestrian-only brick roads of old downtown; but what makes Heidelberg special is the impressive Renaissance castle ruins that stand towering 80 metres above old downtown on the Konigstuhl hillside. If it weren’t for all the tourist shops, you could almost feel like you were in Beauty and the Beast or something.

The ruins were great and all, and the view from the castle certainly was beautiful, but my personal highlight was the world’s largest wine barrel. The photo doesn’t do it justice. It was at least two stories tal. Just look at that massive beauty. I imagined an alcoholic Scrooge McDuck jumping into that thing to go for a swim.

Before heading back, Mr. G and I stopped for dinner. I had this massive beast of a schnitzel. By the time we got back home, it was time for bed. After downing that schnitzel, that was more than fine by me.

  Karlsruhe Day #3:

The day started out with a tour of Schwetzingen Palace. While exploring the home of some rich old white guy in a cross between MTV Cribs and the History channel isn’t something I’d usually do, whenever I do find myself in these kinds of places, it’s always fun to make fun of said rich old white guys for all the stupid things they did–like sleeping sitting up, or rubbing iron on their faces. Oh, and the inbreeding. So much inbreeding. Just looking at those portraits sent a shiver down my spine. Is there an 18th century European equivalent to the redneck banjo twang?

We weren’t allowed to take pictures, so I’m afraid I only have photos of the outside of the palace. However I didn’t think to take a photo of the palace itself. Oops.

After a quick stroll through the gardens, we stopped for coffee/tea (of course), and had some awesome cake. While sitting in this fancy-looking hoity toity cafe, I was surprised to see a dog on a leash sitting beside its owner. Apparently pets are allowed inside all establishments, be it a mall, restaurant, cafe, etc. Way to go, Germany!

When we got home, Britta was waiting for us with some delicious flammkuchen. It’s basically German pizza. It translates to “flame cake.”  If you’re a fan of thin crust pizza, I highly suggest giving this a whirl. Instead of cheese, it uses creme fraiche, which is less sour than North American sour cream. In terms of toppings, I think pretty much anything goes. (Of course, Britta being the exceptional and thoughtful hostess that she is, my flammkuchen had meat. This was despite the fact that I kept insisting that I was capable of eating meatless food.) For dessert, we had a sweet variation of flammkuchen. You can put things like apples and cinnamon on these.

As if I didn’t love Britta enough already…she had to go and make me pizza.

  Karlsruhe Day 4: When you think of German cuisine, you probably think bratwurst or some other sort of sausage, right? Forget that. Best thing I had in Germany: Spaghetti ice. (Don’t worry, Britta: Your flammkuchen was a close second.) Remember when you used to play with Playdough and you’d put it through that little contraption to make it ooze out the other end in spaghetti-like noodles? Same thing. Load it on top of a healthy serving of whipped cream, cover it in some mouth-watering strawberry sauce, and you have yourself the best spaghetti you will ever eat.

After that heavenly treat, we went to see what was going on at the Waldschwarzschon gallery, and stumbled into the Black Forest Remixed exhibit. Apparently Karlsruhe is kind of at the mouth of the Black Forest region where the cherry cake and the ham originate.

This stool is meant to look like a traditional hat worn by women in the region. It’s called a Bollenhut. Single women wear red ones, and married women wear black ones. (A bit morbid, no?)

Now this is a kind of religion I can get behind! (It’s supposed to be a Nativity scene.)

We were told that we’d be able to go up to the top of the Karlsruhe Palace tower until 5:00 with our gallery tickets; and so imagine our surprise when the women at the top told us at 4:30 that the tower was now closed. This was particularly confusing since neither the woman at the front desk or the woman at coat check bothered to mention this. The women at the door didn’t seem to be closing up; they were just standing around talking. A few minutes later, though, we saw them making their way downstairs. They were clearly just trying to leave work early. Arg.

Before heading for home, we took a peek at the Karlsruhe Palace Garden. T’was prrty.

  Karlsruhe Day 5: My initial plan was to arrive in Karlsruhe the afternoon of October 2nd and leave for Munich the morning of October 4th. Somehow, it was already October 5th, and I just couldn’t get myself to leave. The day before, Britta had found out that there was a jazz concert on the 5th, and so I happily agreed to stay another day to check out the Jon Irabagon Quartet. And it was well worth it! These guys put on a hell of a show!

  The giant on the piano (just out of view on the left) moved his colossal fingers with incredible speed, precision, and grace over the keys. Dude on the cello played with the tenacity and intensity of a trash metal guitarist. The drummer was a monster, pounding away so mercilessly that you almost felt pity for the drum kit. Mr. Irabagon himself was hypnotic.

Although at one point, Britta and I turned to each other completely bewildered. I actually thought for a moment that the man was having a stroke onstage. He kept blowing into the sax until the only sounds emanating from it were his desperate blowing, which actually somehow almost sounded like a sucking sound, and the clacking of the keys. I became concerned, though, when Irabagon’s hands started shaking. Then…silence. It was one of those deafening and heavy moments of silence that seemed to last forever. It was soooo weird.

Mr. G explained to us afterwards that Irabagon was merely “pushing the limits of the instrument”–or something to that effect–but it still sounded weird to me.

Oh, and goats–because everybody loves goats.

And so ended our stay with Mr. G and Britta.

The Travelling Trooper Visits Karlsruhe Karlsruhe Day 1: Many moons ago, I had the privilege of working with Mr. G. We taught at the same school.

[thewidowstanton]

Olivia Quayle, hand-to-hand flyer and dancer, Joli Vyann

Joli Vyann was formed in the summer of 2012 by dancer and former gymnast Olivia Quayle – who is from Ringwood in the New Forest – and former martial artist and circus artist Jan Patzke, who comes from Hamburg. They worked previously with many companies, including Dragone, Legs on the Wall, Motionhouse  and Cirq'ulation Locale. Their intention is to integrate storytelling with acrobatic circus skills and athletic dance and to blur the boundaries between those two art forms.

Having premiered their show Stateless at The London International Mime Festival in 2015, they return to the event's 40th celebratory edition with Imbalance, which they created with the award-winning director Jonathan Lunn, who is also the choreographer. Joli Vyann will soon be relocating to Bristol but Olivia chats to Liz Arratoon from New Zealand, where the pair have been on a long hiking holiday. Imbalance runs from 16-19 January, 2017 at the Lilian Baylis Studio, Sadler's Wells in London.

The Widow Stanton: Where did you both train? Olivia Quayle: Jan went to circus school in France, at Lomme-Lille, and he also did some dance training there, but before that he started with martial arts as a teenager. That was his original passion. Then he moved into circus in his early twenties. I've had a bit of a strange training really. I did artistic gymnastics competitively when I was child…

When did you start that? When I was two and a half my mum put me into Tumble Tots [laughs] because I had a bit too much energy, tearing around the house. I just loved it and from there I went on to a small local club and then a competitive club and spent my childhood doing a lot of gymnastics. I'd always enjoyed dance and when I stopped gymnastics I made a natural transition into it. First of all I went to Loughborough University and did sports science with English literature, and did gymnastics and dance as part of that degree. They're very sporty at Loughborough and you can do sport and dance with anything. Afterwards I decided I'd like to give it a shot professionally but I thought I needed more training.

So I went to a musical theatre school in Cambridge. I did the dance course but I had to do everything, the whole singing and all of that [laughs]. Looking back now I don't know why I did that. I didn't actually go to a conservatoire in England but I did some conservatoire training in Munich, just a short course, and I travelled around Europe and did some training in various places. I went to San Francisco and did some classes but my first professional dance job was immediately out of dance school. I went to Germany and got a job with a company in a staatstheater; they have staatstheaters in every town, which have a resident dance company. I danced there, pure contemporary. Although I went to a musical theatre school we did contemporary and ballet every day.

Have you had any formal circus training? No, I haven't… well, I did do some silks classes in London. I took my artistic gymnastics and throughout my dance career I kept up the acrobatics, ground-based acrobatics. Dance is such a competitive industry, you go to an audition and if you can do a few tricks it makes people watch you and gives you a better chance of getting a job. In a lot of dance jobs I did they said: "Oh, you do gymnastics, could you do this?"

How did you get together with Jan? We met in Spain as a festival. He was working for a circus company called Cirq'ulation Locale and I was working full time for Motionhouse. Then we started training together just for fun. We all shared dressing rooms and warm-up spaces and got chatting. Jan said: "Come and try to do a handstand on me." I just did one, I mean a bad one [laughs] but I managed to do one. We were working for separate companies but over the next year and a half we were touring in a lot of the same festivals, so we kept getting together and doing a bit of training, and then we actually got together as a couple.

So Jan really helped you… He's trained me in partner acrobatics completely; it's all him. We've been to external coaches; he has a Russian coach in Berlin, who we trained with quite a lot, and we've trained with the coaches at the National Centre for Circus Arts in London. He said to me: "Do you want to be a flyer?" and initially I was like, 'Well, no', [laughs] because I'd done my gymnastics. But it was really fun and the possibilities artistically were endless with mixing the dance side of things and the acrobatic side of things. My love for gymnastics and acrobatics was reborn in that way. It's very competitive when you're a child but when I was working with Jan it was fun and we were working in a circus environment with amazing coaches and I was learning a lot. So I only started hand-to-hand properly four years ago.

Why did you decide to form a company? We were living long-distance and never got to see each other. We didn't really mean to form a company, we just said: "Let's make a show together." So we made a short show and people kept asking for it. [Laughs] We were like: "Oh, people like this!" So it was a great way for us to be able to spend time together. I never thought I'd be able to live and work with the same person in the intensity we do. We're very lucky that we have that.

Tell us about the unusual name? It's actually just an anagram of our names…

Oh, of course it is! We thought it might be an anagram of your dogs’ names or something! [Laughs] …we didn't want it to be too obvious.

You worked with Motionhouse. How are you different? We're very different in that we work with different choreographers. All our work is very different in style. So for example, we have one piece called Don't Drink and Dance, which is a 15-minute street piece. It's very theatrical and very circussy and there's a little bit of dance in there but it's mainly acrobatics. Then we have another piece called Lance Moi En L'Air by a French choreographer called Florence Caillon, in which we explored relaxed acrobatics and release dance; your body is completely relaxed and you explore different ways of moving using breath and energy. It's about contradictions and whether you can be strong and relaxed at the same time. That's a completley different style.

Then we've got Imbalance, which we created with Jonathan Lunn, and that's a completely different style because it's a lot more technical. He's neo-classical, Florence is very relaxed, abstract contemporary dance. The similarity to Motionhouse and what I learned from them is contact improvisation and partner work. They do some fantastic partner work and are a contact-based company so I learned all my contact skills from them. The fantastic thing they've given us is a tool to be able to link dance and acrobatics; we use  a lot of contact to link the two genres. Motionhouse work with different companies, they do collaborations, but at the end of the day Kevin [Finnan] is the choreographer.

Tell us about the work Joli Vyann does with disadvantaged people. This part of our work is so important. For example when we go to a school the best students for us are often people on the brink of expulsion, for example; school isn't for them. But for us, they respond really, really well. Because our work is a little bit different and it's fun and it's exciting anyone can actually do it. You can break it down to make things simple so anyone can do part of what we do. I love that about it. It's a very special thing to be able to influence young people in that way…

And inspire them, I’d imagine… Exactly. We work with a lot of young people. We worked with a school for the disabled. There was a huge range of disabilities and we taught them acrobatics or if they couldn’t do that we taught them hula-hooping or juggling. We had this great experience where we taught almost every single child in that school and everyone could respond to the art. It's so important to give them that opportunity. Kids have this channel nowadays where they're supposed to go but it's not for everybody. I like to be able to offer that.

We did a really nice programme in Portsmouth where we were teaching recovering drug addicts and alcoholics. We did eight-week programmes at a time and we got some amazing responses. A couple of them said to me: "To be able to feel my body in a healthy way is something I'm not used to." One of them was very honest, she said: "Every week I think I don't wanna come, I don't wanna come and then I force myself to come and I love it and by the the end of it I don't wanna go home and take drugs because I feel my body's cleaner from it."

So what can you tell us about Imbalance? Wow, where do I start? Initially we saw a film called Koyaanisqatsi. It's an eighties cult film and shows the relationship between technology and man and nature. It's all in time-lapse. It's starts with all the very expansive natural shots and then goes through to very busy urban environments. There are no words to it, it just has music by Phliip Glass. It shows this progression from nature to the crazy society we live in today and shows the relationship man has with that.

So we were interested in this balance and imbalance of how we manage to continue to live our lives in a way that is not detrimental to our health and our minds, while staying up to date with technology and the way that things happen so fast nowadays. Technology is the umbilical cord to life; teenagers are completely reliant on their phones, you can't go anywhere without people being able to contact you. On the other hand society is also being filled with all these esoteric things, mindfulness and meditation because people need it to balance out the fact that life is so hectic and so fast.

It was such a huge subject so we whittled it down to how it effects relationships and our place in society. The show itself is actually about a couple and part of it was based on Jan and me and our relationship and when we started our company. We were busy dancing around and doing what we love in the studio but everything got really hectic and we had to learn how to do cash flows and budgets and we sat at the computer trying to do funding applications. So the first scene of us typing away madly is based on our first Arts Council application. We didn't speak to each other for two weeks other than: "What do you think about this?" or "What shall I do about that?" There was this massive disconnection between us personally because we were so involved with our computers we didn't take that time. So there our elements of our personal relationship throughout the show. 

What was it like to work with Jonathan? Ah! Amazing! He is so wonderful. First of all he's extremely inspiring as a choreographer, he's got so much experience and that wealth of knowledge so we were absolutely ecstatic to be able to work with him. Then being in the studio itself was such a pleasure because he's so relaxed. It was such a joy and we genuinely had a wonderful time and created a really special bond. We're very good friends now, which is lovely.

So the whole process was really enjoyable and also very interesting because he uses a very particular choreographic process where he uses text. He takes a passage from Othello for example, and gets us to create movement to each word and then he'll layer it, so he'll say: "Make this movement as if you were a mosquito or as if you're a chef." By saying that it brings out a certain quality of movement that then suits that particular past of the show, but at the time we're making it we don't know what's going on in his head. We were thinking: “What's this got to do with this part?” but we both totally put our trust in him and went with it and then later we’d go: "Oh yeah, that works."

How did you come to work with him? We're very lucky. We have amazing producers called Turtle Key Arts and they are wonderful. They've worked with him and produced his early work. We were doing a little performance for a Christmas charity event for Turtle Key and Jonathan was there. So we met there initially and then met again, all through Turtle Key.

And what do you like about working with Jan? There are lots of things. First of all… people always say to me: "You must really trust each other," and it's funny because it's sort of just there. I don't really think about it but I do implicitly trust him. Then, of course, being my partner that trust is deeper. We're very lucky to work in that unique way where we can use that trust and bring it out onstage.

In terms of circus he's the one who's taught me. I have the skills from gymnastics and everything else but he's taught me hand-to-hand technique. He's been a base for 15 years now and is very knowledgable. He's passed that on. And it's fun working together. We said the minute is wasn't fun anymore, there'd be no point in doing it. It's hard work as well and you have to make sure you're relationship doesn't suffer because you're working all the time, but we get to do this cool job together, which we both love.

How do you feel about being included in the 40th London International Mime Festival? I don't really know how to put it into words. We've only been going four years as a company and for us, it's… first of all as a child I was always like, 'Oh, I want to dance at Sadler's Wells', and to be able to do that with my own company for the Mime Festival is absolutely amazing. We're really, really chuffed and excited and very honoured to be part of such a prestigious event at such a prestigious venue. And apparently we've almost sold out!

Imbalance runs from 16-19 January, 2017 at the Lilian Baylis Studio, Sadler's Wells during the 40th London International Mime Festival.

For Imbalance tickets click here

Picture credits: Moving Productions; Gigi Giannella

Joli Vyann are associate artists of The Point, Eastleigh

Twitter: @JoliVyann @MimeLondon @Sadlers_Wells @TurtleKeyArts @PointEastleigh

Follow @TheWidowStanton on Twitter

To read about other flyers see our interviews with Lolita Costet, Tain Molendijk, Beren D’Amico and Àfrica