#Fujimoto's Ironwood seems benevolent and most of the Bad Things he does seem like fuckups

[resplendent-chungus]

Saw this last night and thought it was hella fun, couldn't help but think of more

John "Wildbow" McCrae: Blake is the main character, her relationship with Yang is actually MORE homoerotic but every few episodes someone stares at the camera and says "Despite what it may seem, we/they are both heterosexual and anyone who thinks otherwise is reading too much into it." They never kiss. The story is much more critical of Huntsmen as essentially law enforcement who can only be policed by themselves, but how he handles the White Fang is impossible to tell. My best guess is they're just faunus criminals and the racism aspect is erased. The semblances are weirdly detailed and creative, Ozpin is much more of an amoral background figure willing to do anything to keep Salem from winning, and crucially the final battle against Salem happens after a horrible Grimm plague sweeps Remnant/the world starts falling into the Ever After for some reason. Jaune and Ren die when Beacon falls, and despite being portrayed as an uncompromising authoritarian assshit early on, Ironwood is right about everything in the Atlas arc for some reason. Emerald is the only canonically gay character and is even more obsessed with Cinder.

Tatsuki Fujimoto: Aura grants varying levels of regeneration, which is off-screen healing for some characters, but others (mostly the main characters) heal closer to Agni/Denji levels. Penny's first death has no build up, it just happens mid-fight, and the fall of Beacon end up killing JNPR, most of Beacon's staff (including Glynda, who is sexually manipulating at least one underage student), and Sun's team. Penny 2 doesn't have any of Penny's memories but Ruby pretends she does to cope with Penny 1's death. When Emerald joins the good guys, there's a shot of them all hugging before someone, unable to forgive her for everything, muders her in cold blood. V8 ends with Cinder/Salem killing all of RWBY except Ruby herself, whose V9 breakdown has been more explicitly hinted at and teased since V1. Because of time shenanigans in the Ever After (which is styled around movie theatres instead of fantasy locations surrounding Big Tree) Ruby is worshipped as a God when she gets back, because Fujimoto just can't help himself. The only problem with that last one is I'm not sure Fujimoto could wait that long to give his main character a cult...

RWBY If It Were Written By…

Alan Moore: Moore cuts the middleman completely and goes straight into portraying Huntsmen as a super powered warrior caste master race making all the decisions and being treated as royalty by all the masses of civilians trying to keep them happy and willing to protect them. And because this is an Alan Moore story now, Ruby is the result of Tai taking out his drunken frustrations on Summer after she tried to help him after Raven left and the only reason Summer married him was because she didn’t want her kid to grow up to be a bastard. Also the gods are now snakes with Moore’s head.

Thomas Astruc: The show never leaves Beacon and by the time Volume 14’s come around we’re still waiting for Jaune and Pyrrha to finally figure out each other’s feelings.

Garth Ennis: Garth rips the entire concept of teenagers being involved in military operations and public safety to shreds. The over the top, rule of cool weapons are routinely the punchline to jokes like Yang losing both arms because her gauntlets jammed and backfired. Some variant of the Happy Huntresses are our protagonists and they all despise the Huntsmen system.

Genndy Tartakovsky: More emphasis on the action, a lot less dialogue and story, so no more White Fang.

Alex Hirsch: Lots of loredump mysteries with more character-focus before he eventually micromanages himself into exhaustion, gets tired of the show, and rushes an ending where Cinder absorbs Salem’s power, attacks Beacon and of the 4 potential ways to beat her that Hirsch had set up, is defeated via the most convoluted one.

Matt Trey & Parker Stone: RWBY Chibi with more plot sometimes, there’s also less than 6 voice actors on the entire cast. A running gag is killing Ozpin randomly just for him to come back as a completely new person the very next episode. But then after a few seasons the show starts focusing an inordinate amount of time on Tai for some reason. Also there’s an occasional musical number.

Robert Kirkman: Less fairytale aesthetic and more anime and takes plenty of passive aggressive meta shots at the anime industry and storytelling with a big status quo shift every little bit. Salem gets killed anticlimactically as a joke in the first few volumes. Other antagonists are more clearly inspired by other anime characters the way Invincible does a lot of it’s villains. And of the several redemption arcs the story would have, only one of them would be any decent.

Greg Farshty: Salem’s schemes are insanely convoluted and probably end with her becoming an actual god. She’s always getting a different group of villains for RWBY to fight every so often. There’s a prequel season about the STRQ days and a later on a couple seasons where JNPR are the protagonists for a bit when RWBY get captured and then do their own thing for awhile. But then there’s some pretty bad retcons in the final few seasons that pisses off a lot of people.

Might make a few more of these later. It was kinda fun.