#Fuck I made a mistake- yeah idc and I'm not redoing it unless I'm on comp. fuck that shit.
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God I fucking hate being the one who just is awake.
And idk if 👑 is here but he doesn't seem to be, or he just far away now or some shit I dont want to call him but also I just. The visual of him petting ☕️. It wouldn't be the first time because I'm fairly certain he's also been DRAWN as a person ☕️ could lay in the lap of. So idk maybe there's an in sys relationship to be had there but who fuckin knows (👑 isn't exactly the most frequent fronter. Despite popular belief(/j))
I'm probably totally trying to calm down now but it's really hard to (I just voice message ranted about shit ok I'm trying to mellow out now). Eventually I'll pass out, I swear. I swear to you that ☕️ and I are on opposite ends of stuff, that it's difficult to coexist/co front because we are just so opposing in our existence. But it's not impossible to directly switch from one of us to the other, it's happened plenty. But we just tend to fully push the other out ig idfk.
Ugh I'm starting to get mildly tired again, praying for sleep.
#sepiasys.txt#Part of the rant was about the whole safety thing btw. we don't feel fully safe in isolation/alone and technically safe.#I'm pretty fuckin sure that we will only feel truly safe when we have people we can be open with and rely on without risking getting hurt#The plausible extrovert but autism and denial of expression causing us to present/mask/become as a quiet kid 😔#Fuck I made a mistake- yeah idc and I'm not redoing it unless I'm on comp. fuck that shit.#☕️ and I (🪴) being like the two sides of bpd splitting (idolizing/idealizing vs devaluing/hating 🙂)#GOD WE NEED A TRIGGER FOR THEM THAT ISN'T OUR ROOMMATE‼️ More than just randomly existing; please 🙏#I just. need to leave front. that's it; right? Ugh it's so fucking annoying. This shit (systemhood) is SO STUPID
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