#For the top piece I really tried to experiment with it and I'm really happy with the result

[reksink]

Two Twos fo Today

[russellsppttemplates]

Soon enough (Lance Stroll)

There are many different ways to start a family, and Lance and Y/N are hopefully starting their own

Note: english is not my first language. This piece is written from experiences I know (my mother's, specifically), so it is probable that there are some mistakes as I'm not a doctor. Either way, I've tried to treat this as respectfully as possible as this is very close to my heart. Am I really giddy for the follow up parts? Yes, I am!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions endometriosis, fertility issues and treatments and associated topics like blood, medicine, hospitals, needles, etc., male masturbation, pregnancy

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"It's just going to be negative, Lance", you mumbled, placing the stick on top of the counter and turning to the tap to ways your hands. "Then we'll know what to look for, sweetheart", he attempted, knowing how much the subject weighed on your chest.

When you decided it was time to start thinking about building your family, you and Lance went back to Dr. Marlin like she had asked you. Given your endometriosis, she wanted to accompany you in your fertility journey, checking out all of the possibilities before you moved on to bigger situations.

Lance had been the most supportive partner, always there to cheer you on and to hold you whenever things didn't work out, "Dr. Marlin said that if this didn't work, we are moving on to the big treatments", you looked at him, "and that's what we will do if you want, whenever you feel comfortable", he kissed the side of your head after pulling you close to him, "we're in this together, Y/N".

Grabbing the test when your phone beeped, you didn't even flinch, "negative, like I said", you mumbled, your top lip trembling as you hid your face in your husband's neck. As much as you expected it, it still hurt. Like any other couple wanting to start parenthood, you wanted to remember this period of your life fondly, but you also knew you weren't any other couple. You weren't alone, and since you became more invested in learning about your condition, you found out about all the other couples who had been through the same and their happy families, remembering someone with a very similar history to yours.

"I love you, Y/N, so much. I love you and we're going to have our own family, my love", Lance whispered in your ear, "we're in this together until the end, whatever it takes", he soothed, kissing your skin and hugging you tight against him.

"Do you have any meetings today?", you asked as you pulled away a few moments later, wiping your tears on your sleeve, "I have one at the end of the day, and I'm free for the rest of the week", Lance informed, "I have to get to work for the afternoon only, my morning is free too", you sniffed.

"Then I can call Dr. Marlin to book an appointment and you can go and get ready because we are going on a walk. It's a very quiet one, I doubt we'll run into anyone, okay?", he suggested, smiling when he saw your lips curve upwards slightly, "you're the best. I love you, Lance", you kissed his lips, walking out the bathroom and into the bedroom while he made the phone call.

.

"Do you need a blood sample?", you asked the assistant on the counter, "no, today it's just an ultrasound, and after that you might have to come in for other samples, just depends on how the appointment goes today", she smiled, "Dr. Marlin will call you shortly".

Sitting next to Lance as you waited, you grabbed his hand and started playing with in fingers on top of his thigh, "are you ready to hear that my uterus is a sad sad place for a baby to grow and that not even your guys want to stay in there? We've known eacother for a good while, so I thought we'd befriended, but apparently they're either too snobby or my uterus is a very hostile place", you joked, hoping that it would shake your nerves off, "too much?", you cringed.

"That's not the weirdest thing you've said to me", your husband chuckled, "and I'll listen to anything you say as long as it makes you smile", he cupped your cheek, "besides, who knows? Maybe my guys are also picky, or slow".

Dr. Marlin welcomed you in her office not long after, greeting you and confirming the informations she had, "like we discussed before, it seems that our best approach would be treatments like IVF. For that, of you still want to go for that route, we'll need some samples so we can also rule out any questions from Lance and see where your levels are", she said, getting up, "for today, we'll do the ultrasound as this will also given us more information".

Getting up and laying down on the bed, Lance followed you, standing on your side as you lifted your shirt enough for her to squeeze the gel and move the wand around, "see here? This is your fallopian tube, and it seems the most blocked, while your uterus is actually shedding well enough", she explained, pointing to the different spots on the screen.

"And is that good or bad? I mean, given the circumstances", you questioned, "I can't tell you with absolute certainty, as everyone is different, but this is usually a good sign. It means that it's your eggs that are not travelling to the uterus, and not like you have a low count or that they don't have a good place to settle once fertilised", she smiled, "I'm prescribing you the bloodwork and the samples we need, but after that, if everything checks out, we'll wait for your period and then we'll start couting from there".

.

"It's time for the shot, sweetheart", Lance called, grabbing the supplies he needed as you sat on the sofa. Even though you were fine doing it by yourself, having Lance doing the injections when he was home helped him feel involved in the process. "You can leave that there, then I can just pick it up after you take the needle out", you noted, placing the gauze in your thigh.

Lance tapped the syringe twice to make sure it was at the right level, kneeling down in front of you, "I'm just going to pinch your tummy, is this side, right?", he confirmed, seeing you nod, "are you ready, love?", he checked over before injecting the medicine on your skin, holding the syringe steady for a little bit before pulling it out, discarding it in the medical waste bin Dr. Marlin had given you while you dealt with the burn.

"This one is burning a lot more than I expected", you moaned, squeezing your eyes shut as the stung softened, feeling Lance's lips on your tummy and right by your hand that was pressing the gauze down, "you're very brave, Y/N, I love you".

"I love you too, handsome", you cradled his face, rubbing his stubbly cheek before helping him store the supplies for the next injection time, "we only have four days left", you smiled, looking at the medicine vials.

"Soon enough, Y/N, soon enough", he kissed your forehead, hugging carefully to not press on your tender lower belly, "you're so amazing all I keep doing is just that, but you're taking it all in, it's your body going through the changes", he kissed your softly.

"You're the one dealing with these hormonal changes, I still can't believe I cried when your sister showed up at the table with the pie a little bit more golden that it usually is. It wasn't burnt and it tasted amazing as usual, but the sight of it not done like usual sent me in a fit of cries", you blushed. Chloe was understanding like you expected her to be, but you still couldn't shake her panicked few seconds when she saw your tears, calling her brother immediately so he could hug you and soothe you.

"It's part of the process, love, and I want to be here for as much as I'm able", he said, interrupted by the sound of your phone going off, "it's Dr. Marlin, let me put in on speaker".

The phone call couldn't have gone better, "Y/N, I've reviewed the scans and it looks really good, keep up with the rest of the treatment and next week we'll look into the retrievals", she announced.

.

"This wasn't the way we were supposed to make a baby", you mumbled, "I should be getting naked and we'd be in our bed, and we'd whisper how much we love eachother and then we'd cuddle in said bed, not with me in a procedure room and you in another, in these cold and sterile sheets", you looked up at Lance.

You were back in the clinic so the doctors could collect both samples, and while you've had the years to prepare for this, and with therapy it was something you had worked over, sometimes you were still plagued by these thoughts.

Fortunately, your husband knew just what to say, "it's not the usual way, yes, but it's filled with love nonetheless. You're putting yourself through procedures after your body had been medicated with injections, and that is love. For out little one who we will hopefully hold in our arms when the time comes, love for our family and love for me. You're going to make me a father because of this amount of love you're showing me and that we share, okay?", he smiled soothingly, kissing your forehead, "no more of those worries, okay? Besides, we'll have loads of time for you to touch me and for me to touch you", he winked, helping you turn around so he could help you with the gown's tie.

Kissing your forehead goodbye once the nurses came to take you, Lance was then pulled to a room for himself, "all of the supplies you need are there", she pointed to the sterile table, leaving him alone in the room. Masturbating in a hospital room was not something he ever thought about doing. It wasn't that you weren't there with him, because he certainly had done it many times whenever he travelled for races and you weren't there, so he figured it was the white walls, plain in a room that only had the purpose he was in there for too. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he found the photo album of pictures of you he kept for these occasions. The collection was built along the years you've dated, usually ending up on his phone whenever you both felt particularly daring and in need of the other and you weren't physically able to satisfy it. The picture he used, however, was one he had taken himself. The picture was probably three months old as he had taken in on your anniversary, your naked side profile as you looked sweetly at the camera. You hadn't done anything big to celebrate it, opting instead for staying in and spending your time between the sheets working on your shared dream of a family. And that's exactly what he was doing right now, stroking himself as he recalled the sweet noises you make that he adores so much, the way you feel around him and how your body feels in his hands, soon collecting his finish in the sterile cup.

Making sure it was sealed tight and then washing his hands, Lance fixed himself and walked out of the room, heading up to the desk and handing his sample to the nurse, "there you go", he began, seeing her store it in a cooler like box, "I'm sorry to bother, but do you have any news on my wife?", he wondered, "Y/N's procedure seems to be concluded", the nurse looked at the monitor in front of her, "they're probably just finishing up and she'll be up in her room any minute. Do you want me to walk you there?".

"I think I still remember the way, thank you though", Lance smiled, walking along the corridors until he found the room you had been in. He sat in the comfortable chair, smiling when he saw your colourful fuzzy socks waiting on your bag, remembering reading reports from other women saying that their feet were cold after the retrieval, and since you weren't a big fan of the cold, Lance made sure to pack them for you.

The noise in the corridor caught his attention as the nurse that had wheeled you to the procedure room came back, wheeling you back inside, "she's still a bit sleepy, but the procedure went well. Dr. Marlin said that, at first glance, everything is right on track", she smiled as she noticed Lance's worry fade, "we will be both here in a bit so we can discharge her, but if something happens meanwhile, there's a bell there", she pointed, excusing herself and closing the door behind her.

Turning to face you, Lance kissed your cheek as you fluttered your lashes, "hey, sleepy girl", he cooed, prompting you to fully open your eyes, "I heard you did really well in there", he admitted proudly.

"Yes, they said something about a good number of eggs, I think I might've compared myself to a chicken, so you know, good things", you giggled, looking for his hand to hold, "thank you, for all this", you kissed his knuckles, "no need to thank me, we're in this together, sweetheart".

After explaining you the signs you should look out for, the medical team discharged you and off home you went with Lance.

.

Since you got the call to book the embryo transfer day, you and Lance had been cautiously hopeful with the results, "Lance, Y/N, I'm happy to say that we have 10 embryos to work with. They have developed healthily and without any complications", Dr. Marlin cheered.

"Let's go get a baby put inside of me, hm?", you stepped out of the car, holding Lance's hand as you walked to the door. Checking in was quick and you were almost immediately welcomed into the procedure room, sitting in the bed and covering yourself as requested.

"I imagine I'm looking very sexy", you joked in a way to deal with the nerves, "you always look the sexiest to me", your husband kissed the side of your head, resting his forehead in yours, "we're finally here, my love, you've got this, we've got this", he whispered, almost terrified that of he spoke any louder he would disturb the mood.

You heard a knock on the door, Dr. Marlin and her colleague walking in wheeling a small cart, "we have your embryos here", she pointed to the environment where they had been developing. As they rearranged the room, they pushed a highchair by your side, telling Lance he could sit in there while they worked, "so, Y/N, you shouldn't feel too much pain, rather some pressure as we make the transfer", she said as she maneuvered the small catheter, her colleagues guiding the ultrasound as you looked at Lance, finding the usual calm in his brown eyes.

"That was very well placed, actually the perfect spot", Dr. Marlin said, smiling behind her mask as he removed the devices and covered you up. "It's done", she empathised, rubbing your shoulder and hugging you, "now you're just going to stay here for 10, 15 minutes or so, to make sure everything settles", she excused herself, leaving you and Lance in the room.

"We made a baby and they're inside of you", Lance choked out. Throughout this process, he had always been the strong one, the one to hold you whenever you didn't want to do the injection because it hurt too much, whenever you felt like crap from the meds and whenever you lost hope, but today he cried for the first time, bringing tears to your own, "I'm so happy, I promise these are happy tears", he chuckled, "I always say that I'm the luckiest guy because you love me, at my best and t my worst, and today you proved it to me once again. I really am the luckiest", he kissed your lips, salty tears in the mix while you waited.

"We'll see you in two weeks for the test, okay?", your OB waved goodbye after giving you two big hugs, "thank you, once more", you spoke, forever grateful for the way she led you through this whole journey.

Driving home was quiet and comfortable, your seat adjusted so you didn't have as much pressure on your abdominal area, "They really should get this holes sorted, they've been here for a while now and they're only getting worse", Lance mumbled, "I'm sorry, sweetheart", he apoligised as he slowed down the car as much as it was safe to, "it's fine, it doesn't hurt or anything", you justified, not seeing the need to be so careful.

Blushing, your husband passed all the holes, the concrete now smooth as he drove faster again, "can't give any more shakes to the little bun, you know? Making sure they stay glued to the wall and all", he said sweetly, hopefully bringing lightness to the situation as you pouted at his cuteness.

"I love you, Lance. There's no one else I'd want to do this with", you stretched your hand, landing on his thigh as his own hand travelled to your tummy, rubbing it softly and hoping that your family was growing inside of you.

[papermint-airplane]

WARNING: HUGE RANT AHEAD

As per the request from @nectar-cellar:

Oh boy prepare yourself for a foul-mouthed rant because I am MAD!!!! 😠😠😠😠 Not at you, NC. I love you. You can do no wrong in my eyes. 😘

No I am mad at this STUPID FUCKING SIM holy shit

OK FIRST OF ALL

He started life like THIS

What I can only describe as "Disney's Aladdin visits a dude ranch". Yes, I know I have used that exact outfit (minus the boots) for Roman before, shut up, you're not here to expose my hypocrisy, you're here to suffer with me because OH BOY DID I SUFFER.

Ok so he turned out like this. Not bad, you say? No. Bad. Very bad.

I SPENT TWO AND A HALF FUCKING HOURS ON THIS STUPID MOTHERFUCKER AND THERE'S STILL SOMETHING OFF ABOUT HIS FACE AND I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT AND I PUT CONTOURING MAKEUP ON HIS FACE AND YOU CAN BARELY SEE IT BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON, THIS SKINTONE IS IMPOSSIBLE TO COLOR MATCH TONIGHT AND I DON'T KNOW WHY BECAUSE I'M USUALLY GREAT AT COLOR MATCHING FUCK THIS GUY

Yeah so I got him in Live Mode and there is just something about him that is pissing me right the fuck off and I don't know what it is. Is it the eyes? Are the eyes too big? Jaw too square? I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF!!!!!!!!!! I really feel like the eyes are too big but I kept shrinking his eyes until he literally looked like this .👄. and it still didn't help.

I went in and out of CAS at least 7 times and I can't figure out what's off and I can't fix it and I HATE HIMMMMMMMMMM

"Who's made of pixels and sucks ass? This guy!"

"Don't you just love me?"

NO I WANT TO HIT YOU WITH A BUS

I know that making masc men is a challenge for me. This is not new information. It's been a problem for 20 years, it'll be a problem for 20 more. I know what I find attractive in a man, I just don't know what looks good on a Sim. Know what I mean? No? Stop being difficult, you know exactly what I mean.

I also tried using NC's new torso and oh boy that was an adventure because the torso is fire and his face is A FUCKING DISASTER. There is something about his head and his torso that are incongruous with each other and I don't. know. what. it. is. It's driving me crazy. No correction, it has DRIVEN me crazy, past tense. I am crazy now and this fucker is why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOK AT THIS PIECE OF SHIT WHY DOESN'T HIS HEAD FIT WHAT DID I DO WRONG

I even expanded my slider multiples so I could fine tune things thinking that would help but no I think it made everything worse ESPECIALLY MY MENTAL HEALTH

I hate him. I HAAAAAAAAATEEE HIIIIIIIIIM

So by now you're like "Laura there's nothing wrong with him, Laura you're taking this too seriously, Laura he's fine" and I know. I KNOW! I STILL HATE HIM

And you're god dang right I put that fucker on a pole. If I get community labeled because of this shit heap, I'm gonna lose my shitting mind.

Literally fuck you, I hate you so much. I didn't even give you a name. Do you know what your name is? "Stupid asshole who won't behave" that's what your name is.

I even threw Monica the Devil Girl in there hoping that would help. It didn't.

Know what the worst part is?

I enjoyed this. I mean yeah sure I hated the whole process and I hate the result and I hate this Sim and in a minute, I'm going to have an alien Sim land a meteor on top of his head, but there's something really cathartic about just unloading all of your vitriol on a Sim, you know? And it was definitely a challenge and definitely out of my comfort zone. I'll have to keep trying until I make a male Sim (other than Roman and Aiden) that I'm happy with.

This was a learning experience for sure.

Piece of shit.

[koshkamartell]

No One But Me

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chapter warnings - talk of rape, sexual harassment.

You didn't reveal what had happened to Oscar, or to anyone else. You kept your word to Joel and did not speak about it. You were still afraid of what he was capable of doing if you did tell someone, if he somehow found out that you told the truth. You felt ashamed and dirty, as if you were deserving of Joel's wrath, that what he did was justified. Maybe you shouldn't have been dancing and drinking so much that night, maybe Joel was right about the men at the bar and their lecherous intentions. After all, you had to defer to Joel's knowledge and extensive life experience when certain subjects were concerned, and this time seemed to be no exception.

Ellie and her happiness were also at the forefront of your mind. You knew that she would be devastated if she discovered how Joel had treated you; the security of her world and a happy family life would be shattered and her heart broken. You couldn't do that to Ellie. Not when you could see so much of yourself reflected in her, that same yearning for a stable and loving family.

Yes, you still loved him, and perhaps a small part of you always will. But he has broken something inside you and you know it can never be repaired or compensated for in any way. Joel had pushed you too far for you to be able to forgive and forget. A bridge has been crossed and there's no returning to how things once were. Where do you go from here? Do you leave him? Joel hadn't accepted that the first time you tried to leave him - would he relent this time?

You tried not to show the inner turmoil you were facing when around others. Working at the school proved to be a good distraction from your thoughts; the young faces of the children, their innocence and wonder at the world, always managed to motivate you to be collected and calm.

However the library shifts proved to be more challenging at times. You were alone more often than not, only the occasional visitor popping in to seek out material on a specialist subject or children wanting to peruse the comics and picture books. Left alone with the whirlwind of introspection inside your head could be tormenting.

Does he really even love me?

What if he does it again?

He's been so sweet and loving lately, maybe he's changed?

Maybe he's realised how much I mean to him?

This fruitless cycle of thoughts was interrupted by the surprise appearance of Oscar at the door, a grin on his face as the bell jingled above him. You felt startled, like you had been caught doing something you weren't supposed to, but you quickly composed yourself.

"Is it weird that I miss that sound?" He chuckled.

"Hey stranger," you greeted him, flashing a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes . "Didn't expect to see you here. How can I help you?"

Oscar smiled at you, his clean shaven face boyish and handsome, and you suddenly felt warmth spread all over your cheeks. Surely you weren't blushing because of Oscar?

He walked to the counter where you stood and plopped his satchel on the counter top. "Mhm. It's lunchtime, so I figured I'd stop by for a visit and we could pretend it's like old times - us eating together, hanging out. What do you say?"

"Oscar, are you sure you wanna spend your work break with me?" You asked dubiously, making a face at him.

"You're kidding me, right?" Oscar arched a thick eyebrow in question. "As far as I'm concerned you're the only person I wanna eat lunch with."

He didn't wait for you to speak any further before he flipped open his satchel and took out some sandwiches wrapped in wax paper and a few pieces of fruit. You looked away from him bashfully and shuffled your feet. You could definitely feel your cheeks glowing now.

"Oh Oscar," you murmur, sighing a little. "I don't deserve this."

"Don't deserve to eat lunch? C'mon," he scoffed.

"No, you know what I mean," you said while smoothing your hands over your skirt, still unable to look at Oscar. "You coming here specially for me."

Oscar proped his elbows ontop of the counter and leaned forward so that his head was craning closer to you, tilting his head in an attempt to catch your gaze.

"Hey, look at me," Oscar implored softly.

You obeyed his request and slowly raised your head up to face him. He was gazing at you with a mixture of confusion and pity on his features.

"Why do you think so little of yourself, when others think so much of you?" Oscar asked quietly.

The question is too raw for you to actually answer. It makes you feel bare, like your insides are being dissected. How can you possibly explain to Oscar that you've carried this low self worth all your life, that it has been rooted into your very core since your parents died, left to pullulate and fester like a disease?

Somehow, you believe Oscar already knows that he isn't actually asking for an answer.

All you can do is shrug awkwardly and look away from him. Oscar sighs and extends his arm over the counter to take hold of your wrist. "Honey, what is it going to take for you to believe just how important you are?" His thumb begins to stroke the fragile spot where your pulse and veins intertwine under the thin layer of skin.

You close your eyes and savour the sensation of his soft hand wrapped around your wrist. "Important to who?" You murmur.

"The children at school. Ellie. Me." Oscar whispers silkily. "Look at me."

You raise your head once more to gaze back at Oscar. He studies your face, his eyes roaming over your features longingly. The tip of his tongue swipes over his bottom lip. "You're a beautiful person, and I'm lucky to have you in my life." 

The the lilt of his voice and the passion in his gaze penetrate your heart and send electric like shivers up and down your limbs. "T-thank you, Oscar." You stammer.

He smiles at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling. He gently releases your wrist and stands back upright. "Now, enough of this nonsense. I'm hungry and I want you to tell me everything that's been going on here since I left. Didja finish Bug Science? What about that paperback that old man stole and refuses to give back?"

You can't help but laugh at Oscar's light hearted way of breaking the tension in the room. When he sees you finally smile genuinely, he smiles back with a mix of relief and adoration.

After you finish eating and Oscar has to go back to work, you both agree to a regular lunch date at the lunch every week.

That night you were pacing around Joel's kitchen preparing dinner for when Ellie arrived. She was making a dedicated effort to spend more time with Joel without making him feel awkward; you had suggested that regular dinners together were an uncomplicated way to achieve this, and so naturally Ellie had invited herself over.

You alternate between stirring the pot of stew on the stove and shuffling to the dining room to set the table. You carefully arrange the bowls and cutlery in their places, mindful to give Joel a slightly bigger bowl than you and Ellie, knowing that his appetite was more voracious than either of you, especially after a patrol shift.

The setting reminded you of a tale you had loved as a child - a papa bear, a mamma bear, and a baby bear, all with porridge bowls and furniture corresponding to their sizes. Three bears, a happy family with food and a comfy house. Until an intruder comes and disrupts their carefree life.

What was it again? Ah, yes. Goldilocks and The Three Bears.

Silly stories and fairytales created to entertain and teach children morals and valuable lessons. You only vaguely remember some of them from your childhood. Just like the innocence and curious wonderment of youth, your happy memories had been destroyed by the end of the world, shattered to smithereens.

You want Ellie to be able to experience the things that had been so brutally ripped away from you. You know she's suffered her own share of trauma and horrors in her life, things she hasn't shared with anyone but Joel. You know their bond is what has given them both reason to endure and survive for so long. But Ellie was still young, and now she was safe from whatever was still left in the wild of the world. She deserved her own fairytale.

You know you will have to try your best to mask your melancholy for the upcoming evening. You are about to turn off the stove when you hear the front door rattle open, then the sound of boots stamping at the door. It seems Joel and Ellie have arrived home at the same time.

"Good evening!" Ellie trills as she floats into the kitchen. "What did you make? It smells fucking amazing!"

Your heart lights up to see her bound over to the stove and lean over the pot to take a big whiff of its aroma. She lets out an exaggerated sigh and rolls her eyes.

"I'm sooooo hungry!" Ellie groans. "Work sucked today."

You chuckle and pull her into a hug, brushing a little snow flake from her head. "The goats giving you trouble again?"

Ellie was assigned as a farmhand for her work duties and tended to the goats, chickens and sheep. "It was the sheep this time, lazy fuckers wouldn't listen."

"Didn't do what they were told, huh?" Joel chimes, walking into the kitchen with a smug smile tugging at his mouth.

"You callin' me a sheep, old man?" Ellie pretends to square up into a boxer's stance and raises her fists. You watch the interaction with your fingertips pressed to your lips, hiding your smile. No matter how low you were feeling, being immersed in the domesticity of Ellie's and Joel's company was always entertaining.

"You know what insolent means?"

"Uh, nope," Ellie says with a crinkle of her nose. "Why, that what you're callin' me?"

"Damn right."

Ellie punches his shoulder playfully and then begins a hasty exposition on just why her job is so taxing and why Joel should shut up. You shake your head at her theatrics and slip on some oven mitts before carrying the pot of stew out to the kitchen table.

"And if you actually let me go on patrol I could show those assholes just how badass I am," she laments as she follows behind you and Joel.

"No." He takes his seat at the table. "Too dangerous outside the gate."

Ellie just scoffs loudly and flops down onto her chair. You ladle the stew into the bowls and hand them to Ellie and Joel before serving yourself.

"You gotta teach me how to make this," Ellie mumbles through a mouthful of stew. "Tastes amazing, dude."

You settle into your seat and dip your spoon into the bowl. "Yeah, I can do that."

"How'd you learn how to cook?" Ellie asks between another slurp.

You occupy yourself with slowly stirring your spoon through the vegetables and chunks of lamb floating in your bowl. "I picked up some things from working in the mess hall but I mostly taught myself, through cook books and experimenting. More so experimenting."

"Cool," Ellie says, sounding sincerely impressed. "What's your favourite thing to make?"

"This kind of stew, I guess," you respond quietly, still not meeting her eye. "It's hearty, so it's good for when you're sick. And it reminds me of a dish my mother used to make when I was a kid, so...I find it comforting..." Your voice trails off at the end of your sentence. You never spoke of your mother or father but the words had come rolling from your tongue without thought, leaving you to feel as though you've said too much, been too vulnerable infront of both Ellie and Joel.

"Oh," Ellie murmers. "Well, that's good that's it's good for when you're sick, right? You've been sick alot lately so--"

"Ellie," Joel says low and warning.

A tense silence falls over the dining table. You are sure Joel can read your mind, the automatic internal response that you dare not utter aloud - "I wasn't sick last time, Ellie, I was just hiding my face."

You are thankful when Ellie fills the silence once again and starts talking about her friends and the different adventures she's had lately. You listen but do not talk much, only sometimes expressing a hum of agreement or a noise to indicate your interest. To your surprise, Joel makes an effort to engage with her to ask questions or make comments; it is unusual but refreshing, and you can't help but think Joel is doing it for your sake.

When Ellie excuses herself to go to the bathroom, Joel outstretches his hand to you and tenderly clasps it over yours. He lightly squeezes your small hand in his large one and leaves it there, his thumb making tiny circles over the knuckle of yours, soothing and supplicating. You glance up at Joel but he's staring down at his lap unmoving, and you wonder if it's because he feels too ashamed of himself to look at you.

When Ellie returns to the table Joel doesn't move his hand from yours.

It feels like forever since you've joined the girls for a meal in the mess hall. A few days after Ellies visit, you were greeted by Kate waiting outside the school to surprise you after your shift. Despite being exhausted from the days work her cheeky grin made you laugh.

Truthfully, you hadn't thought much about your friends since the night you had all celebrated Jackson's birthday at the Tipsy Bison. It seemed like the time between then and now had stretched infinitely, the events of that night like a vivid dream that was not real but of which you still could not shake from your memory. Seeing Kate in person and so excited to you makes you feel guilty for not being more involved in your friendship circle.

You sit side by side with Kate and Cassie at one of the dining tables, Rhi and Jess opposite you. You have little to no appetite and even the delicious dinner menu doesn't inspire any hunger from you; you mostly move your spoon aimlessly around your plate, only occasionally taking small bites of food. Rhi has lowered her voice and is recounting a recent incident between her and the blonde ranger she has been pining for.

"Can you believe it? He actually stuck his hand up my skirt right then and there!" She hisses with disgust. "Without even kissing me!"

The four of instantly you scrunch up your noses in revulsion.

"Gross!" Jess gags.

"Who the hell does he think he is?!" Cassie fumes.

"What did you do? Did you slap him?" Kate grumbles. "God, please tell me you slapped him!"

"Ofcourse I did!" Rhi answers haughtily, primly running her fingers through her hair. "No bastard touches me like that without my say so."

"He's was cute but boy, did he turn out to be an asshole," Cassie tuts, then adds sympathetically, "I'm sorry, Rhi. I know you liked him for a long time."

Rhi shrugs dismissively. "Eh, better I find out now than after six months of dating and wasting my time."

"Very true," Jess chimes in. "You deserve better than that shit."

"Ofcourse I do! I'm staying out of the dating game for a while, men are so not worth it." Rhi concedes, scooping up some potato and carrot with her spoon.

You watch the airy way Rhi speaks, how the words spill so confidently from her mouth. She's so self assured - in her capabilities, in her worth, in her beauty. You are simply in awe of her. You have often found yourself wishing you were more like Rhi; someone more bold, stronger willed.

You're sick of being timid. You're tired of never standing up for yourself. You're exhausted with hating yourself.

It was becoming more and more difficult for Joel to ignore the fact that he was in love with you. Obviously he knew you belonged to him, but he hadn't really examined just how deeply his own attachment to you ran. The concept of romantic love was something so foreign to Joel that during his pursuit to conquer you he hadn't even recognised how much he loved you.

It hit him when he returned to his house after a gruelling double patrol shift while you were still at work. The inside of the house was still and lifeless and seemed so much bigger and colder than usual. Not a  trace of your pretty fragrance or your soft voice to greet him. Joel hated it.

It was you who Joel wanted to see when he ambled through the door after work, aching and weary and hungry. It was your face that he wanted to see when he opened his eyes every morning. And it was your lips that he wanted to kiss goodnight before each time he went to sleep. Joel needed you as close as possible, so it was a natural conclusion that you start the process of living together.

It wasn't part of Joel's plan - he hadn't expected things to have progressed so quickly, but then again he couldn't deny just how much he needed you. So for the first time since living in Jackson he had decided to follow his heart.

One night after his patrol shift, a week and a half after Jackson's birthday celebration,  Joel slipped through your front door and toed off his boots.

"I been thinkin' about somethin'," Joel calls out as he shrugs off his coat and hangs it on the hook by the door. "I want you to come stay at my place. Got plenty of space for your things. Can even turn one of the spare rooms into a library for your books."

When you didn't answer him he turned around and stepped into the living room. You were sitting on the couch with your feet tucked under you, staring down at your hands as they fidgeted with a loose thread on the cuff of your sweater. Joel put his hands of his hips and clears his throat.

"Baby, you hear me? What do you think?" He asks with a tilt of his head.

He was trying to temper the irritation that was pricking at the base of his neck, but when he properly looks at you it quickly disappears. He clocks the despondent slouch of your shoulders and the pensive expression on your features.

You sigh softly and then tilt your head up to meet his gaze. You look tired, and the tears swimming in your eyes alarmed Joel enough for him to stride over to the couch and sit down beside you.

"What's goin' on?' He asks with genuine concern, his soulful brown eyes darting up and down your form.

Joel had seen you cry many times before, and it was he who was the reason for your tears more often than not. It usually did not perturb him or discourage him. He knew from the beginning that you were sensitive and soft hearted, the opposite of himself. But something about this instance was totally different.

You swipe the sleeve of your sweater across your eyes to brush away the tears that have spilled over.

"Nothing," you mumble, downcasting your eyes back to the loose thread on your cuff as your fingers toy with it. "Just lonely...missing my parents alot today."

Joel hums and smooths his hand over the back of your head tenderly. "Come to my place, babydoll, stay at my house. You'll never feel lonely there."

"Like, live there forever?"

"Well, not just yet." Joel smirks as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. "We can move your belongings gradually."

"What do you mean?" You question him with a side eye glance.

Joel leans into you and nuzzles his nose in the crook of your neck. One of his arms snakes around your middle and he effortlessly drags you closer to his body like a scolded kitten tugged by its scruff.

"You can move into my place permanently later, aint no rush. But for now I want you close by, always. In my bed waitin' for me after work. Sittin' pretty on my lap while you read." He inhales your scent and places a soft kiss on your neck. His breath is hot against your skin and his whiskers tickle you. It makes shivers crawl up your spine.

"I don't know Joel," you whisper hesitantly. "I don't think I'm ready for that."

Joel's body immediately tenses at your words. He slowly draws his face away from you and loosens his arm from your waist. Your first instinct is to cower away from Joel and curl into yourself, to distance yourself from any potential outburst of wrath that he might choose to rain down upon you.

"What d'you mean?' Joel asks in a low, dangerous tone.

"I just...want to stay here, I don't want to go anywhere," you mumble, not meeting his gaze but still feeling the heat of his scathing glower nonetheless.

"Don't wanna go?" Joel growls harshly. "Look at me when I'm talkin' to you."

You cannot control the automatic reaction that his sharp tone commands from you; your head whips up to look at him obediantly. You feel small and vulnerable under Joel's glare.

"You don't wanna live with me in my house?" He hisses. "I thought that's what you wanted."

You sigh helplessly as you feel the tears begin to well in your eyes once again.

It is what I wanted. But now I'm not so sure.

"I'm ready to give you everythin' and now you wanna throw it away?" Joel spits bitterly, scowling. There is an inflection of dejection in his words, and the disbelief and hurt reflected in his glistening eyes causes a small stab of guilt in your chest.

"I just...don't think it's the right time," you explain with slow deliberation. "I'm not ready for that."

Joel takes a sharp inhale and scoffs. "So you changed your mind? Just like that, you changed your goddamn mind?"

"Joel," you speak calmly in order to placate him. "I want to keep my place. I don't want to live at your house."

"Why the hell not?"

The pressurised anxiety and woe that has been gradually constricting around your organs finally explodes, rapidly surging through your veins and your limbs and up into your skull.

"Because you raped me!" You snap suddenly, your voice hoarse and choked with emotion. You haul yourself off the couch and storm to the other side of the living room. "Because you hurt me worse than you ever did before!"

The word rape hangs heavily in the air, shocking and weighted in the way it tears from your throat. Joel's mouth falls open and shut, like he's too shocked to form a response.

And truthfully he is. He's speechless at your outburst, at seeing you so impassioned that you have raised your voice at him for the first time in your relationship. He wonders where this argumentative side of you has come from so suddenly. This kind of back chat and disrespect would usually warrant a punishment, but the near hysteria of your demeanour has thrown Joel off completely.

And then it clicks. He really did hurt you. He hurt you so much so that you are expressing anger at him for the first time, aswell as rejecting him. His throat feels dry. Joel swallows thickly, his adams apple bobbing.

There had been times in the QZ when the women Joel fucked had been desperate enough to acquire something he smuggled in that they let Joel use their bodies however he wanted. He had readily accepted the trade conditions but had never taken any woman unwillingly before, had never forced himself upon a woman or abused her. He openly despised the men that did - the FEDRA officers, the perverted assholes that roamed the streets, the raiders on the outside that thought nothing of gang raping a girl and leaving her bloodied and broken for the infected and wild animals to devour.

But when it came to you, Joel seemed to lose his sense of morality and rationality. He was blinded by the intrinsic need to dominate and possess you from the moment he saw you. It was something feral and biological inside his brain, his heart, his loins. You were his, you belonged to him, and he had to assert ownership over you in any way possible in order to never lose you. That included having to punish you at times to remind you of your place beside him.

Joel knows he's been rough at times. But rape?

Rape. A disgusting and violent violation used to assert control and cause one of the worst kinds of pain possible.

And that's what he did to you. He hadn't stopped once to think exactly what he had done, but now you've said it outloud he has to acknowledge it. He raped you.

Joel heaves himself from the couch and steps towards you but you flinch, wrapping your arms tightly around your waist and shrinking into the corner.

"I...I know what I did wasn't right. I just got carried away." Joel confesses. "Got so angry I wasn't thinkin' straight."

"Angry for what?" You sob, glaring directly at him. "For having fun with my friends like every other person in town?"

"I don't want my woman behavin' like that," Joel declares while shaking his head firmly, his mouth downturned in a scowl. "Not when she belongs to me."

"So you call me a whore and rape me?" You cry with exasperation, the tears pouring down your face.

Joel sighs and runs his hands through his hair in frustration. "I told ya I didn't mean to go that far, but you know I got a temper."

"That doesn't give you the right!" You argue back, secretly thrilled by your surge of self confidence in confronting Joel. "Imagine if someone did that to Ellie, what would--"

"Don't." Joel grits fiercely, his nostrils flaring and his jaw clenching. "Don't you dare mention her."

"Why not?" You ball your trembling hands into fists and stare him down. You can see the anger simmering just beneath the surface of Joel's restrained exterior, the mannerisms that signify an imminent danger. Your heart is thrumming in your chest and your stomach feels sick with trepidation but you won't back down. Not now. "So it's okay if you do it to me but if it's El--"

In a flash Joel storms toward you, his boots thundering heavily on the floor boards. He grabs a tight hold of your wrist and yanks you to him. You squeak with fear and collide into his chest. His eyes bore down into yours with steely reproach.

"Better listen to what I say, little girl," Joel warns lowly. "Mind your fuckin' manners."

You stare back up at Joel, tears of outrage and hurt stinging your eyes. Neither of you move during the tense stand off and time seems to stand still. There's a loaded intensity emanating between you two that is intoxicating, like both your souls are being forcefully pulled together despite fighting tooth and nail to resist. Amidst the anger and pain is something primal, a kind of hunger that is magnetic and electrifying. You can see it burning in Joel's orbs as his gaze flits between your lips and your own eyes.

Before you do something you'll regret, like kiss him or slap him, you try to pull away, but Joel effortlessly keeps you pinned to him. You shake your head despairingly and a sob escapes from your lips.

"I l-loved you," you whisper brokenly. "S-so much. And you have d-done nothing but hurt me."

Joel's expression softens and his grip on your wrist looses a tiny bit. The hardness leaves his dark eyes and is replaced by a helpless kind of sorrow. He blinks and clears his throat.

"That ain't true," he whispers back. "I been tryin', you know that, don't you? Been tryin' to show you how I feel and make it up to you."

"You broke my heart, Joel," you confess in a barely audible whisper.

Joel appears almost pained when the words leave your mouth; his brows furrow and his eyes shut tightly for a second. Then he releases his grip around your wrist and instead cradles your hand in his rough palm. The gentle way his paw engulfs yours is beseeching, as though your very being is the elixir that sustains him, something vital to his life yet is also so fragile. It brings you no comfort and instead makes the situation feel even more gut wrenching. Why can't you always be like this? You want to scream at him. Why now, when it's so late?

"I'll fix it," he says definitively. "Lemme fix it."

"I don't know if it can be fixed," you whisper truthfully.

You move to pull away from Joel again but his other arm wraps around your waist and holds you firmly against him. His emotive puppy dog eyes search yours beneath the heavy frown of his brow.

"Please," he whispers.

You shut your eyes and your breath hitches in your throat. You are so empty that you cannot evoke any words to describe the maelstrom of emotion inside you. Your legs feel weak and you feel like sleeping. Without speaking a word, you feel Joel dip down and lift you up into his arms like a child, and then carries you to bed. 

Joel lays you carefully on the mattress, placing your head delicately on the pillow. You pull your knees up to your chest and curl up into yourself, wanting nothing more than to drift off and dream of alternate realities that you had read of in your favourite books, of imaginary places and people that you longed to visit. Joel climbs over your legs and plonks down behind you with a grunt.

"Baby," he whispers in your ear. Joel slips his thick arm around your waist and presses his front flush against your back. You hate yourself for the way your body has become conditioned to crave the heat of his body, how you still relish the sensation of his skin on yours even after he's defiled you.

"I'm nothing more than a whore for you, aren't I?" You whisper back wetly.

"What?" Joel breathes. "What? N-no, God, no." He props himself up with an elbow and uses his other arm to flip you onto your back. You stare up at the ceiling ans blink away the tears threatening to pool in your eyes.

"You said that," you warble.

"I know," he says with a sigh. "I didn't mean it." Joel splays his large hand over your belly and leans down to press his forehead to yours. "I'm sorry," he whispers. The two simple words stun you -  it is the first time he's ever apologised.

Joel nuzzles his nose against your cheek tenderly, his eyes falling shut.

"I ain't lettin' you go," he whispers against your lips. "I'll prove myself to you. You'll see. You're mine, babydoll. I love you. You only belong to me. No one but me."

taglist - @@sofiparallel @harriedandharassed @kewwrites @romanarose @fan-fiction-floozy @anoverwhelmingdin @unknownsuser101 @shesarealcarpentersdream @sheeeeeppp @uncassettodiricordi @axshadows @puduvallee

[thelov3lybookworm]

Heyyy can I request something? It's readers birthday and she wanted to wear a particular white dress that she saw while strallinga round velaris one day. She couldn't buy it that time because maybe she was running late to something? But when a week before her birthday she takes Azriel with her to buy that dress and finds out it's already sold out and can't get it again. She's very sad because she wanted to wear that dress but can't now and az sees this and gets sad too but on her birthday he surprises her with it🥲🥲

This literally happened to me yesterday but the thing is I had to wear my back up outfit because I literally couldn't find my dress anywhere 😭😭😭 I wanted my birthday to be perfect this year because I turned 18 and it was except the dress🥲

Happy Birthdays

Summary: Fate seems to be enjoying making Y/n's life miserable too much.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: I'm soo sorry you had to go through that 😭 it really sucks when something you want gets sold out or you can't find it. I wanna come there and comfort you, but I can't do that, so here is the fic you asked for.

•○🌑○•

Her day was going like shit, and she wanted to smash something to pieces.

In the morning, she was woken up after having a nightmare where she was chased around by a hound with a stick. And the hound was running on two feet while the other two held the stick like a sword.

After that, when she went down to her kitchen to get breakfast, she realised her favourite breakfast cereal box was empty. She then had to eat some buttered up toast. Not that she disliked it, but she was really craving her favourite cereal.

When she decided to get ready for the day, she stubbed her toe on the dresser.

She had decided to go get her cereals and some items for dinner tonight as her mate would be coming back from a mission, and she was planning on making his favourite meal for dinner.

But of course, her day was apparently fated to be stressful.

The nearest store was closed, so she had to walk to another store to get her items. When she was returning home, she spied one of the most beautiful dresses she had seen in one of the displays of a shop.

But she had to go home and make preparations for dinner, so she decided to return in a few hours, just before Azriel came home, so she could wear the dress and surprise her mate.

Today being her birthday would also be a good excuse to treat herself to a beautiful dress.

So she walked home as fast as she could to finish the preparations for the elaborate meal she wanted to make for her mate.

•○🌑○•

The dress was all she could think about. Apart from her mate's return, of course.

She had finished making dinner an hour ago, and now as she stood in front of the store, she wished she'd worked faster. Or already bought the dress before.

Because the figurine in the glass display of the shop was now wearing another dress. Y/n nearly screamed in frustration.

Why was it always her? Why did she always have to have bad experiences on special days?

She didn't have any hope, but she still decided to check in with the store owner to make sure that the dress was truly gone.

"You mean the dress which was on that figurine?" The owner questioned, pointing. Y/n nodded. "Oh, I am so sorry my dear, we just sold it to a male a couple of moments before you arrived."

Y/n's heart sunk. She didn't even have to be hours earlier. If she'd only walked quicker or just winnowed, she could have had the dress. "It's– it's alright. Thank you."

Y/n quickly made an exit, trying not to cry as all her emotions became a jumbled mess. Her day had just not been good, and the one thing that might have made her happy other than her mate was gone. She just hoped the mother didn't play any more jokes on her and extend her mate's mission. That would truly be the cherry on top.

She pushed open the front door to her and Azriel's house, her head hung low as she tried not to cry. Her mate would be home any second, and she didn't want to worry him.

But the faelights were on, so it could only mean one thing.

Azriel was back.

She rushed in, wiping at her face in case any tears had escaped.

She found him in the kitchen, smiling at her.

"I was searching for you love." He mumbled as she came closer. He looked thoroughly exhausted, his hair windblown and his wings drooping just the slightest bit. But he looked happy, excited even.

He searched her face as he lifted his arms to pull her in for a hug, frowning and probably wondering why his mate was looking half dead, just before Y/n buried her face in between his neck and shoulder. "What happened, my love?"

And then all the frustration and pent up emotions of the day came tumbling out as she cried into his neck, telling him about how her day had just gotten worse and worse as it progressed.

"Oh, I'm so sorry my love. I wish I could make it better." He stroked her back, pressing gentle kisses into her hair. "What did the dress look like? Maybe I could help and get a similar one for you? There must be similar dresses."

Y/n shook her head. "It's gone now Azzie. Let's just forget about it. I know I sound so silly crying over a dress, but my day had just been so frustrating."

"I don't think it's silly Y/n. It's okay to want to be sad over something you wanted but couldn't get, especially on your birthday." After a moment, he went on. "While returning, I got you a dress as a gift. It might not be what you wanted, but it's beautiful nonetheless. Do you want to see it?"

"Sure Azzie." She gave him a small smile, wiping at her face as he pulled out the bag with the dress from his shadows.

He handed it to her, a faint look of anticipation in his eyes as she peered in. The color of the dress was the same as the one she had seen, and her heart seemed to slow down before speeding up again. Could it be...

She quickly grabbed the dress and pulled it out, shaking it open as her mouth fell agape. She was sure her jaw was on the ground as she stared at the dress she had wanted and been crying for.

She turned to Azriel, who furrowed his brows at her reaction. "Love?"

"Azzie, this is the same dress I was telling you about!"

He blinked. "What?"

"Yes! This really is the dress I wanted!" Her eyes started yo fill with tears again, but they were happy tears this time.

"If you're sure, then go get changed. Didn't you want to wear it today?"

She laughed. "Yes, I'll go get changed."

Y/n rolled onto her tiptoes and kissed Azriel's cheek, to which he smiled. And then she slapped the smile right off his face.

He gaped at her. "What was that for?!"

She lifted her chin, turning to go into her bedroom and change. "For making me cry."

"How did I make you cry?"

"You got the dress, and that made me think it was sold out, and it made me sad, so that is why."

"That's not fair!" He said angrily, but she could hear the smile in theose words.

"Never said it was."

She grinned as she heard him laugh. The type of laughs he only did when he was in her presence, the sound coming from somewhere deep in his body, his chest rumbling.

Some time later, after she had put on the dress, she flounced down the stairs, twirling and grinning as she showed it to her mate, who smiled as he leaned against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed at his chest.

"Happy birthday my love." He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head when she finally stopped flitting around trying to show him her new dress.

She smiled up at him before she tugged him down so she could kiss him.

This birthday of hers would have been a disaster, but now that she had her mate, she knew he would stop at nothing to make her happy.

Knew that he would stop at nothing to make sure her birthdays were actually happy.

•○🌑○•

Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless

[thisisallthehattersfault]

I am once again thinking about One Piece Omegaverse with Omega Ace and his hilarious experiences with joining the Whitebeards

Heat and Rut week on the Moby are flawlessly executed and prepared for weeks in advance. Everybody's cycles have synced up and everybody is accounted for, they know who's spending all or part of their cycle with a mate partner, they have designated nesting rooms piled ceiling-high with scented offerings from all the various crew members, they have food and water and everything all set and ready and people who have specific needs have those needs provided for. Omegas spend their heat week all piled together, occasionally yowling for their beta or alpha pack-mates to bring them something or other, while Alphas in rut are given leeway to patrol and scent and herd their pack-mates into the nest room as often as their instincts demand it of them.

(It is Very Funny watching anybody try to herd Pops anywhere, and even funnier to watch them get broody over him, but the funniest part is how willing he is to just Let Them Get Away With It. You have not seen hilarity until you've seen Marco in a rut sitting on top of Whitebeard's head and glaring at the horizon like a hen gearing up to peck anybody to might come too close. He tries to blame his devil fruit but he's a liar his brooding instinct is just Off The Charts.)

I'm thinking about the first time Ace's cycle synced up with the rest of the pack Omegas and how happy he probably was prancing his little ass into the heat rooms. He's really part of the crew now!!

I also think he was just, so hilariously perplexed and caught off-guard the first time he got swept up in all the alpha scenting and herding and checking-up-on. He hadn't been part of the crew for very long by that point and assumed that nobody would really feel protective enough about him to want to keep track of him during their rut but hoooo boy was he Wrong. He comes out of the crawl space he'd been not-really-hiding-in and is immediately swarmed by Alphas all Furiously Sniffing Him like disgruntled dogs. Where Have You Been Young Man We Were Worried Sick.

Ace goes from having One (1) Alpha in his life, and that Alpha being Luffy, who like. Okay yeah he does get twitchy in his rut but as long as he can find Ace when he goes looking for him it's fine -- to suddenly having a whole crew's worth of these fucking knot-heads following him around for an entire week. Ace went to sea prepared to deal with obnoxious horny Alphas who would not take no for an answer. He did not go to sea prepared to deal with obnoxious protective Alphas, half of whom want to Literally Sit On Him.

The worst part is that he knows it's his own fault. If he hadn't given them all such a hard time about joining the crew, they might not be so anxious and paranoid about keeping an eye on Him, Specifically. They're all Up His Ass making sure he's safe and comfortable and staying with them and not going anywhere and he has nobody to blame but himself.

[moonlight-tmd]

I despise Sentinel so in this post i'm gonna be shit talking him.

So we all know Sentinel is not the best mech- he's quite terrible really; he's egoistical, selfish and a total jerk to everyone below him. He's known to be rude and blaming shit on others- just like he blamed the Archa-7 incident on Optimus even tho he was in charge of the operation.

Optimus- he never liked Sentinel, the only reason he stuck by him was because of Elita. Sentinel wanted to have Elita as a sparkmate so he pretended to be the good bot, but Elita chose Optimus who was also interested in her. The two got together right before the incident. Optimus never said it but he believes Sentinel sabotaged their mission so they don't get to be together...

He wasn't any better when he was handed duty at the military training camp that Bulkhead and Bee ended up in. The little yellow mini reminded him so much of his failed love interest he couldn't help but connect all the things Elita hurt him with and punish the mini for them. Bee was constantly on the worst kinds of chores the soldiers in training were supposed to do, not only that but he also made sure to talk down on him as much as possible to make sure he drops the sad and soft attitude and toughens up to be cold like him. And it seemed to work... until the little pimple decided to stick with the other bigger pimple name Bulkhead and started "fighting back". They both caused trouble and annoyed Sentinel to the limits, on top of that he found of that one of the other officers there has arrested one of his favorites, Wasp, under the accusation of him being a Decepticon Spy. And it was from Bee's and some other bot's prompting. He never bothered to get into details but it was enough to kick him out the first chance he caused trouble- even if it wasn't even his fault.

He wasn't surprised to see the failure of a friend Optimus have him on board of the repair crew. He didn't believe when said failure called on the emrgency line telling they have found the artifact the Cybertron's forces were looking for centuries now since it disappeared. He wasn't concerned when they were reported missing along with the Decepticon ship's signal next to theirs. He actually didn't want to bother looking himself but was put on that duty anyway.

Meanwhile Team Prime has ended up on Earth and spend good couple years just minding their business with Sari in peace before the 'cons showed up. Of course, only few months later the dread of Sentinel Prime has seeped down to the planet and Sari got to experience it first hand, although with Optimus and others there it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

So Sentinel and his crew (Jazz and Jettwins, sometimes Blurr and Longarm join in) have the ship circle the Earth's atmosphere in order to prevent any more Decepticons from coming there. Meanwhile Team Prime is weighted down with the responsibility of collecting and protecting the Allspark Shards, since they were doing a good job before the Elite Guard showed up. In rare cases do the Elite Guard actually come down to fight along them. It's most oftem Jazz who has to remind Sentinel that this is a repair crew and they don't have proper weaponry to fight so they kinda NEED to be down there.

Going back to Team Prime- Bumblebee is not having a good time since Sentinel came to earth. he thought he's finally found a piece of the universe he can call home but of course, this stupid awful person had to come and ruin it all. Bulkhead is not happy either, especially since he knows what Bumblebee went thru- he knew little of Bumblebee's past and sparklinghood but that little information he did know was enough to send his Spark to the deepest end of sadness. He sworn to protect his little buddy, the promise was set in stone when they became Amicas right after the horrible Wasp has somehow gotten on Earth just few weeks after Sentinel and tried to replace Bee.

...But that didn't stop Sentinel from what he did.

Optimus was painfully aware of the similarities between Elita and Bumblebee, he might have accidentally reffered to him as Elita when they are arguing but he never thought of him as some Elita-clone like Sentinel. He was aware of how badly Sentinel treats Bee- the mech was awfully open about it, in fact.

I imagine that at one point, Bee would actually fight back to his abuse when somehow they were left alone... only for Sentinel's final string to snap and he physically beat Bee up as punishment for standing up to him. He even threatened to put him in stockades for good few stellar cycles for every bit of slag he's done over the course of his live if Bee ever told anyone that it was him that did it. For once, Bee cooperated with him, but it was out of fear...

Bulkhead knew something was wrong, Bumblebee was activating the bond duller very often and wouldn't tell him why. Ratchet also was suspicious because the scout seemed to come back from patrols or fun rides covered in dents and damages. But he always blamed it on his clumsyness or that he had a crash while skating. Bee might be a stubborn bot and a good actor, but he is also very gullible. Especially when the one lying to him is someone he fears or trusts...

But all that illusion of "everything is okay" was broken after one fight with Megatron and his minions. Both Team Prime and Elite Guard has failed to defeat Decepticons and now Megatron had some very risky tech in his servos. Sentinel was furious, yelling at the worthless low ranks that they couldn't do something as simple as this. Jazz and Optimus tried their best to diffuse the situation but that only made Sentinel more angry, the Jettwins hid behind the others in fear of what Sentinel might do. Then Bumblebee spoke up... it was a grave mistake.

Sentinel had knocked him down and started throwing relentless punches and grabbing every bit of the mini possible just to rip it off. it was Bulkhead who grabbed and threw the vile mech off of his buddy before throwing punches himself. He actually did more damage to Sentinel than what damages he gave Bee- said yellow bot was shaking on the ground, energon spilling on his vision from the ripped off horn wound, it was only seconds before he passed out because his stress levels shot out of the scale.

Sentinel was put in arrest and Bee in medbay for monitoring after they both got fixed with the key. It was then that Ratchet brought up the topic of Bee's wounds to the rest of the group; He had notices few times where Bee came back with visible wounds and was made to sit in medbay for Ratchet to fix him. Despite what Bee said had happened he knew those were the wounds one would get from a brawl. While looking over Bee he notices few of said wounds still healing in places where he didn't fix him, the progress of each one told him he must have gotten beaten up repeatedly at different times.

Bulkhead did notice Bee sometimes having dents when he came back to base, always having the bond duller on prior to it. But he always saw a dent on him whenever he saw the scout with...

"That fragger..." Bulkhead hissed, having connected the dots already. Pure rage boiled in his system as he turned to walk out of medbay. "It was Sentinel."

Sari was sitting beside Bee and Prowl while Optimus and Ratchet tried to calm the giant down and stop him from going to Sentinel who was held somewhere in the plant and under other Guards' watch.

"Sentinel always hated Bee's guts from the moment he saw him! He always tried to make him as miserable as possible- he was almost worse than Wasp!" Bulkhead argued while the two older mechs blocked his path. "I understand tha-" Optimus tried to reason but it was no use, Bulkhead only got more mad and shouted back at him.

"NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!" None of them ever saw the big bot so angry, so steaming with rage. "If it wasn't for me, Bee wouldn't even be here!!"

They knew how much hurt and abuse Bee had endured during boot camp, Bee, with a bit of Bulk's prompting, has told them himself way before this incident. With that knowledge and what Bulkhead said just now... only one assumption could be made.

"I don't care if you kick me out or whatever- I'm not gonna let it past him! The fragger stepped far over the line." Bulkhead pushed past them both, only to be physically stopped by Ratchet's magnets just by the medbay shutter. Somehow he was persuaded to stay by Bee's side in the end...

When Bee woke up he was gently questioned by Optimus and others. Bulkhead never spoke a word, only gently nudging Bee into telling more thru their amica bond. They couldn't believe Sentinel did all that to him right under their scent sensors. They never knew how Sentinel kept his job for so long despite being morally a criminal, this- this was whole chapters of Elite Guard Code broken. Even if he was effective on field the way he commanded everything was horrible, Optimus has made a whole few-essays-worth of material on him to report.

Bee felt so awful, not only did he get tricked into yet another abuse situation he also made himself look like he doesn't trust his friends enough to tell them. He could only apologize while they comforted him.

Bulkhead came to Bee's room alone later that night, those 2 had yet to talk about what happened...

"Please, don't ever think you can't tell me anything that's bothering you. We made a promise, and I'm gonna stick to it for as long as I live." Bulkhead said after Bee had launched into the trail of apologies once again. Bee had cried himself to recharge while Bulkhead held him in a hug, the big bot refused to leave his side that night.

Bulkhead was willing to kill Sentinel in order to protect Bee and didn't care about the consequences. It showed how deep their friendship goes... Also the fact Bumblebee was suicidal at some point of his life made them even more worried about him in the first place knowing he most often hides his personal issues.

Sentinel's life was literally crumbling after this one- every bit of harrassment, torment and wrong-doing was put up against him and it didn't seem he wasn't getting out of this one. Optimus' rank has been restored and he was offered to lead the Elite Guard fleet instead of Sentinel, which he surprisingly refused. He was better with what he had now, which was the little family-like team of repair bots. Jazz and the rest of Sentinel's team were put under Optimus' charge to help out until further notice.

Bumblebee may been a little brat at times but he had a Spark of gold- despite what Sentinel (and Wasp) did to him, he felt bad for making them suffer in return. The others kept telling him they did this to themselves and that he shouldn't feel bad for it.

I fucking hate this massive chin guy. Also protec lil bean Bee! yes!

[50calmadeuce]

Ch. 22: Back Home

Warning: Mention of miscarriage. Some chapters have sex.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.

The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.

I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.

These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know. :)

A couple of weeks after your journey from San Diego, you found yourself engrossed in work late one evening in your office. The sound of a knock at the door interrupted your focus. Lifting your eyes, you saw Chuck standing there, holding a small tray filled with snacks.

"Come in," you invited, taking a moment to organize the papers strewn across your desk.

Chuck entered, placing the tray on your desk. "Figured you might need a little something to munch on," he offered, a considerate gesture that brought a moment of warmth to the late hours.

You couldn't help but smile at the thoughtfulness. "Thanks, Chuck. That's really kind of you," you expressed, genuinely touched by the gesture. The sight of the snacks—a mix of fruit, nuts, and some chocolate—was a welcome sight, considering you hadn't realized how much time had passed or how hungry you actually were until now.

Chuck observed the situation, remarking on your evident busyness. "It looks like this new grant project is keeping you quite occupied," he noted, acknowledging the lengthy days you've been putting in.

You responded with a confirming sound, the weight of the work ahead clear in your tone. "This is just the start. I've been going through resumes to find some assistance for the upcoming winter and summer," you explained, signaling the expansive scope of your project and the need for additional hands to manage the workload.

As a yawn escaped you, you promptly covered your mouth with your hand.

Chuck issued a gentle warning, "Well, don't push yourself too hard. I understand with the Lieutenant away, you might dive into work to keep him off your mind, but it's not the best for your health," he pointed out, concern evident in his voice. "And you've seemed pretty worn out lately."

You dismissed the concern with a nonchalant shrug. "Nah, I'm fine. Just still getting my bearings after all those time zone changes a few weeks back," you claimed, attributing your fatigue to the adjustment period rather than the workload or emotional stress.

"Have you heard from the Lieutenant?" he inquired, observing as you picked up a grape from the plate and popped it into your mouth.

After a moment spent chewing and then swallowing, you answered, "No," your tone casual yet hinting at a deeper resignation. "But that's nothing new." You continued eating off of the plate.

Chuck's observation came unexpectedly, drawing a parallel from his experiences, albeit in a different context. "Doc, I'm no rocket scientist, but I've been around horses enough to see when something's up. Are you sure you're not pregnant?" he asked, noting your sudden appetite as you continued to eat grapes.

You stopped mid-motion, a grape poised between your fingers, as his words prompted a rush of thoughts. The realization dawned on you; you and Jake had been cautious only that one time.

The room suddenly felt too small, your mind racing as you tried to piece together the timeline, the possibility that Chuck's offhand comment might hold more truth than jest.

Chuck, realizing the gravity of what he'd suggested, immediately softened his approach. "Hey, I didn't mean to jump to conclusions or anything. It's just, you've been looking a bit off color lately, and now the sudden hunger," he explained, his voice tinged with concern rather than suspicion.

You set the grape back down, suddenly not so hungry. "I... hadn't really considered it," you admitted, the possibility now taking root in your mind. "But now that you mention it, there have been a few signs that I just attributed to stress and being busy." As you glanced down at the grape held delicately between your fingers, a stark realization hit you. You despised grapes. The fact that you were not just tolerating but seemingly enjoying them now added an unexpected layer of complexity to Chuck's question. This sudden shift in your dietary preferences, coupled with the recent context you were forced to consider, made the scenario all the more perplexing and worthy of deep thought. "I'll make a doctor's appointment tomorrow." You looked at Chuck and nodded. "Good night."

A few days after your conversation with Chuck, you found yourself in a different kind of waiting—sitting in a doctor's office, draped in a gown that felt less like clothing and more like a symbol of vulnerability. The anticipation was palpable, the room filled with a silence that seemed to echo your racing thoughts.

The door finally opened, breaking the cycle of your anxious musings. A middle-aged woman stepped in, her curly dark hair framing her face and glasses perched on her nose, exuding an air of professional calmness. "Dr. Seresin, how are you today?" she greeted, her voice carrying a blend of warmth and formality, the sort that healthcare professionals master over years of practice. Her presence, while reassuring, also marked the moment of truth you had been both dreading and anticipating.

"Dr. Katz," you acknowledged her, trying to muster a semblance of calm. "I guess I'm doing okay."

Dr. Katz took a seat, her gaze meeting yours squarely, a gesture that seemed to brace both of you for the forthcoming revelation. "Well, we might as well just get right to it. You're pregnant."

The moment the words left her lips, it felt as though the room's atmosphere shifted dramatically. It was as if all the air had been vacuumed out, leaving behind a charged silence that enveloped you. The reality of her statement hung heavy, a profound turning point that was both intimidating and real.

Dr. Katz, observant and empathetic, noticed the change in your demeanor. Her voice softened as she addressed the situation, "I take it this wasn't planned?"

Releasing a deep breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding, you managed to find your voice. "Not really, but..." Your words trailed off, a mix of emotions swirling within you—surprise, apprehension, perhaps a hint of something else. In that moment, with the reality of your situation settling in, you stood at the threshold of an unexpected journey, pondering the myriad ways it could unfold.

Dr. Katz's gaze briefly settled on the wedding ring adorning your finger, a symbol of commitment that prompted her next question. "I didn't know you were married? Does your husband not know yet?"

Meeting her gaze, you clarified, "I've been married for four years. My husband is currently deployed. Due to a past circumstance, we recently rekindled our relationship."

Dr. Katz turned her attention back to the computer, typing away for a moment before stopping, a note of concern in her expression as she addressed a sensitive topic. "Ah. Being kicked in the stomach and losing the baby." Her gaze shifted back to you, searching, as she asked, "How do you feel about this?"

There was a brief pause as you collected your thoughts, the weight of the question pressing down. "Honestly, nervous," you admitted, your voice carrying the mixed emotions of fear, uncertainty, and perhaps a glimmer of hope or resilience. It was a moment of vulnerability, acknowledging the complexity of your feelings in the face of such unexpected and challenging news. he room seemed to hold its breath as you shared a piece of your past, a shadow that lingered over your present. "After it happened, my husband didn't really talk to me for four years," you revealed, the pain and isolation of that time evident in your voice. Meeting Dr. Katz's eyes, you expressed a fear deeply rooted in your experience. "I don't want that again."

Dr. Katz, sensing the depth of your concerns and the weight of your past experiences, offered a supportive suggestion. "There's a psychologist I can connect you with..."

But you quickly dismissed the idea, a reflexive wave of your hand punctuating your decision. "No. No psychologist. I can deal with this." Your voice carried a mixture of determination and perhaps a hint of apprehension.

Dr. Katz exhaled deeply. "Alright, I'll provide you with that information, just in case you have a change of heart. But do start taking a quality prenatal vitamin. I'll see you in a month's time, purely as a precaution because of the last time. It's not that I'm expecting complications, but I'd rather be safe and ensure everything is on track."

"Okay," you nodded in agreement.

"You're going to be just fine, Y/N," reassured the doctor before exiting the room.

You released a breath you hadn't noticed you'd been holding in.

Entering the kitchen late, you carried a small bag, its contents consisting of prenatal vitamins.

Chuck glanced up. "Everything alright, Doc?"

Setting the bag on the counter, you extracted the vitamins. "You were correct. I'm pregnant."

A smile brightened Chuck's face. "Doc, that's wonderful news! But, why do I sense you're not thrilled?"

"I am happy," you admitted. "It's just the thought of Jake's reaction that's weighing on me."

Chuck nodded, understanding the complexity of the situation. "I think the Lieutenant will be thrilled about it."

"I hope so, but it's my line of work that makes him anxious. Particularly after the last incident." Drawing in a deep breath, you contemplated your next steps. "I need to see about getting an assistant or an intern. It's time to have a discussion with work."

As if on cue, your phone began to ring, and Jake's name flashed on the screen. "Speaking of Jake," you remarked, pressing the answer button for a face call. "Hey babe!"

Chuck discreetly exited the kitchen, giving you space to talk to Jake.

Jake's voice came through, vibrant and warm. "Hey, darlin'!"

God, how you missed the sound of his voice. Heck, you missed everything about him.

He noticed your weariness. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. It's just been a long day. I literally just got home."

"Well, then I called at the right time. How are things?"

"Things are going well. I've been swamped, between the job and managing the grant, it's been non-stop."

"Darlin', make sure you're not overdoing it," he cautioned gently.

A smile found its way to your lips. "I won't, Jake. Don't worry about me."

His gaze carried a tinge of concern. "You sure you're alright?"

With a reassuring smile, you responded, "I'm fine, Jake, really. Like I mentioned, today was just one of those long days."

Seeing his expression ease brought you a bit of relief. "You'd tell me if something was up, wouldn't you?"

"Without a doubt." You took a brief pause before shifting the focus. "How about you? How have you been?"

"Doing well. There's been a lot of training going on."

"That sounds positive, doesn't it?"

His smile returned, warmer this time. "Always is." His gaze met yours, carrying a mix of longing and affection. "I miss you, Y/N."

The feeling resonated deeply within you. "I miss you too, Jake. Any idea when you'll be back?"

He hesitated, the uncertainty evident. "Not at this time."

You nodded. "Is there anything you need? I took care of your apartment, so you're good on that."

His voice carried a hint of regret. "Nah, I'm alright, but I really need to catch some sleep. Sorry for not calling sooner. This was the first chance I got."

Your words were soft but firm, "Jake, it's part of the job. I get it. Go catch some sleep. I'm heading to bed soon myself."

"That sounds like a plan. I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Jake."

After ending the call, Chuck re-entered the room.

"You didn't tell him, did you?"

Shaking your head, you responded, "No. He's got enough on his plate without adding to his worries. He needs to stay focused on his work." You met Chuck's gaze with determination. "And there's no arguing with that."

Chuck gave a nonchalant shrug, conceding to your point. "Whatever you say, Doc. You call the shots." Moving towards the stove, he changed the subject. "Got an appetite?"

"Starving!" you exclaimed, grateful for the distraction.

Chuck then busied himself with preparing a plate for you, signaling the end of the conversation and a shift to more comforting, domestic matters.

Tags: @buckysteveloki-me @bellyliveslife @tgmreader @callsign-barbell @86laura11 @dizzybee03 @kmc1989 @guacam011y @nerdgirljen @hookslove1592 @dempy @djs8891

[42frogs]

"I have feelings for Alhaitham."

Cyno had waited until their next trip to Gandharva Ville to speak to Kaveh, as far away from the eager ears and mouths of the Akademiya as they could be. Here, on the terrace after Tighnari and Collei have gone on their evening patrol, the only creatures to hear them are the birds, and though they might carry his words far away, it is unlikely anyone will be able to decipher them.

Kaveh chokes into his wine cup, kicking his feet out above the trees.

"Archons- really? Good luck with that."

He meets Cyno's gaze. For all his experience in interrogation, facial expressions have always evaded him. Right now, Kaveh seems sincere- eyes widened in surprise, but not hostile.

"Is that all you have to say?" Cyno asks. His hands are braced against the terrace boards, grounding him even this high up. Kaveh shrugs.

"I could question your taste if you like, but you're a sensible man, you've probably done enough of that yourself," he lifts his glass to him, and then narrows his eyes. "Wait - there is something. Why are you telling me? I figured you'd be the type to sort things between you and the object of your affections before you went shouting your heart to others. Have you already told him?"

"I'm not shouting, and I haven't told him," Cyno says. He intends to, because secrets between companions can only lead to unnecessary conflict, but he hasn't decided when, or how, yet. He studies Kaveh for a while, wondering how to approach it. "You're my friend."

"I'm flattered," Kaveh touches his chest. "But you waited until Tighnari was gone, and I'm far more likely to judge you than he is."

"You're my friend, and I care about your feelings," Cyno tries again. Kaveh stares at him blankly. "Aren't you in love with him?"

Kaveh, thankfully, has never been on guard with his expressions, and so Cyno is able to watch the flicker of his pupils as he assembles the pieces - the exhale of breath in laughter, and the flush of pink that dusts his cheek.

"Oh, Cyno, you were worried about me? Or - did you want me to duel you for him? I'd never win, with cards or blades," he chuckles. "I'm not in love with Alhaitham; he's all yours, if you can pull his head out of his ass for long enough to confront his feelings for you."

"His -?" No. Cyno files that away for later. As much as he wants to know - where would Kaveh have gotten that idea from - that isn't what he's here for. "Kaveh, please. I don't want this to come between us."

"I mean it," Kaveh tells him, leaning forward to put a hand on his knee. Cyno allows him into his space; he can smell the wine on his breath. "There's no fooling you, I know, so - yes, once, I thought I loved him. Living in close quarters with someone creates all sorts of fantastical delusions. But it was a long time ago, and I know now that we'd never be compatible."

"You rarely stop talking about him, unless you have a project to discuss," Cyno says, unsure why he is arguing. Does he want to persuade Kaveh otherwise? If Alhaitham did have Kaveh's affections, wouldn't he choose him? It would, at least, bring Cyno some form peace to see them both happy.

"Because he's infuriating. And he's also my roommate, so most of my stories involve him in some way or another. No, I was fooled by a handsome face, and once I saw the rotten inside, my affliction was cured," Kaveh smiles. "It seems to have been the opposite for you, though, doesn't it? Do you think you can fix him?"

Cyno frowns. "I don't think he needs fixing."

"There we have it," Kaveh nudges him with one elbow, throwing back the rest of his wine. "I'll help you win him over."

"I don't want that, either," Cyno says. "He shouldn't have to be persuaded. I have no expectations."

"Well, I've got plenty. I love a good romance, even if it's that heartless dog I have to help. It'll be good for him. Not so sure what it will do for you, but..." Kaveh sways with Cyno on the terrace, imitating the tops of the trees they sit upon, and echoes Cyno's words. "You're my friend, and I care about your feelings. Even the ones that have no rational place in this universe."

Cyno hides a smile in his cheeks.

"Thanks, Kaveh."

"Can I tell Tighnari? You never tell me anything before him, I want to rub it in his face."

"Absolutely not."

[deadbydangit]

Going to an amusement park with them.

Mastermind, Hillbilly, Ghostface

Mastermind

No.

He will not go.

Wesker has far too much work to do.

Besides, isn't that rather childish?

Pick an adult activity, like a museum.

"I don't have time for your childish nonsense. I have work to do. Go by yourself."

His words are pretty harsh.

And if you do start crying, he'll feel really bad.

"I-I'm sorry dear. Let's go. We can go there if you'd like."

He won't even wait for an answer.

He's just going to take you.

Please don't be upset with him. Please don't cry more.

He didn't mean it.

Wesker isn't a fan of any of this, and it's obvious, and he's really trying to hide it.

Rides, unhealthy foods, crowds.

He's doing this for you.

But he wants you to have fun.

And he won't let you not do something you want to if he doesn't want to do it.

He'll even go on some rides with you.

Just nothing that spins too fast.

His Uroburos don't seem to like that.

And, he won't say it, but watching you eat cotton candy was really cute.

It was even cuter when you tried to feed him a piece.

He actually doesn't mind rides with a view.

He really likes the Ferris wheel since you can see so much from up top.

He bribed the ride operator to keep you at the very top longer.

Just so you two could see the fireworks.

"Not a bad view if I do say so myself."

But he's actually looking at you.

He'll do whatever it takes to see you smile.

Hillbilly

An amusement park?

What's that?

Oh, he's seen those on TV!

Max had been locked in a room for most of his life with nothing but the TV.

Therefore, most of what he knows about the outside world is from what he's watched.

But actually going to an amusement park?

Absolutely!

Start with some of the calmer rides.

Something that may seem childish to some.

People might give you two weird looks as you get on the ride, but you could care less.

Rides with bright pretty colors and music are his favorites.

It gives him a sense of childhood wonder that he never got to experience.

He's literally living out a childhood dream.

He's just so happy.

Next, try a ride that's a little faster.

A spinning ride, maybe a small roller coaster.

He might be shaken up at first, but he quickly adjusts.

If you ask him what snack he wants to eat, he'll look at the menu so confused.

What's cotton candy? What's a churro?

Get him one of each.

He'll practically shovel everything down.

You might have to get him something else before you two leave.

He doesn't like the fireworks.

If they were quiet, he would because he likes the colors.

But the loud booming is frightening.

Watch them from inside a store or something like that.

When the day is over and it's time to go home, he'll envelop you in a hug.

"Can we come again tomorrow?"

You'll have to explain to him that it isn't something you do everyday.

He'll understand, but he can't wait to go with you next time.

Ghostface

Huh? An amusement park?

Danny hadn't been to one in forever.

Sure! Why the Hell not?

Once you get there you can see him freeze up.

Memories of his childhood are flooding back to him.

He'll suddenly grab your hand.

"We're doing everything."

Before he runs you into the park.

Children's rides, roller coasters, arcade games, spinning rides.

You're doing it all.

And uh, he knows this is awkward, but he wants to feed you ice cream.

He's seen other couples do it and he kind of wants to try it.

That, and he wants to push ice cream on your nose.

On purpose but say it was an accident.

"Sorry babe, you're so cute I got distracted."

Just let him have it and clean your face.

And he absolutely wants to go on the haunted house ride.

He'll do the thing where is places his arm around you and holds you close.

"I won't let the monsters get you. The only monster you have to worry about, is me."

Wink.

So cheesy.

He wants to see the fire works too.

He'll purposely get behind taller people so he has to lift you onto his shoulders to see.

He knows what he's doing.

Before you leave, he won you a stuffed animal and hid it until now.

"It's a cute little teddy bear. Reminds me of you."

[magnetarmadda]

Happy @jonsimsandcats day! I'd wanted to write a new fic for today, but alas, the chronic illnesses are Illnessing, and so instead, I have for you a small collection of ideas @artificialdaydreamer and I have dreamt up and some snippets to accompany them. They are: 1. Sasha the comforter, 2. Sasha gets a new cat tower, and 3. Sasha can talk (under the cut)

You can find the published Sasha cat au fics on ao3, and I hope more will join them soon!

1. Sasha the comforter

Jon's had a bad week, really. The whole thing could go in the bin, but it was today in particular that made things seem so grim. How does someone get over an apocalypse? Jon still doesn't know, and whenever his students make mention of their scant memories of the experience, his guilt climbs high into his throat and makes a home there. Sasha makes a small chirping noise as they near the front door, and he offers her a small pat as he reaches for his key. The door closes behind him, he sets his bag down, he feeds Sasha and puts her on the floor, and then he's suddenly in his bed, crying. It's been happening more and more lately, which is supposedly a good thing, according to his therapist. But that doesn't stop the guilt--the guilt for freeing the Fears, for saving himself and Martin, for starting to be happy. And talking to Martin about this is very hard, because Martin doesn't believe the damning of an untold number of souls is really Jon's fault. It is Jon's fault, of course, but he appreciates that Martin's love convinces him otherwise. He really does, but it's usually better to have this self-pitying cry before Martin gets home. Sasha barrels into the room, full speed ahead, and climbs into his lap, and isn't that a prime example of the love, kindness, and happiness he doesn't deserve? "Sasha, no," he says softly, rubbing his nose on his sleeve as he gently pushes her away with the other hand. "Sasha, you're too little, I'll hurt you." She gives a tiny but ferocious meow and leaps into his lap again, this time climbing his shirt and making her home in his pocket again, purring so hard, he can feel the reverberation in his chest. He pauses, his sobs temporarily stopped in confusion and heartbreak, then says, "I know you want to help, but I don't want to squish you, darling." "MEOW!!" "Okay okay!" And he's laughing now, tears streaming down his cheeks, but somehow, the guilt feels a little lighter.

2. Sasha gets a new cat tower, and she's adorable

"Jon, that's not really going to fit in our flat," Martin says, but he's laughing. He's just gotten home from the shops, and Jon is almost entirely through building Sasha's new cat tower. "Martin, my love, it's already fitting in the flat," he says without emotion, gesturing to the obvious piece of furniture in their living room. "Not very well," his husband says, still laughing. "I'm not sure where you and I are supposed to sit or stand." Jon refuses to acknowledge that, instead placing the final flower bed on the top of the last tower and beginning the process of screwing it into place. He says, "You ordered this one, not me." Sasha, as always, has impeccable timing, and chooses this moment to venture out from the bedroom to survey her new throne, interrupting Martin before he tries to protest his online shopping choices. She pauses to let Martin bend down to pet her and offer her some sweet words before she makes her way to the new cat condo. She sniffs around the bottom very deliberately, taking each piece in turn, before she rapidly climbs the middle column, right up to where Jon has finished assembling it. "Does it meet your standards, my darling?" She bumps his hand for attention, and then flops onto her tiny side, emitting a little squeak and rubbing her face on a flower petal. "I think it does," Jon says to Martin, sweaty from the effort of building the tower but extremely pleased.

3. Sasha can talk...sort of. This last one doesn't have any real writing attached to it yet, but I love the idea so much, so here you go

Sasha's a little older now, and Jon learns that actually yes he can talk to her. It starts off small, where it seems more like she and Jon are having conversations where he's speaking aloud and she's meowing back. Then one day, he actually hears her answer a question as "No" and goes "MARTIN DID YOU HEAR THAT SHE SAID NO!" Martin: "Uh, she meowed?" Then it builds up to where, as she grows over a few months, she's much like a toddler in that her speech capabilities also grow. "The fucking Eye is useful for something here at least," Jon grumbles. "I love you, Dad," Sasha meows back, and Jon's eyes tear up

[hobaworld7]

Could you maybe write a Shinee reaction about their love languages, like you did for bts? I thought that one was really cute! Thank you! I'm so glad you want to write for them, there's not nearly enough Shinee content on here imo💜

SHINee Reaction - Love Languages

Hello Shawol!! I am so excited to see other fans here. They really are the kings right? I hope you'll love it and don't hesitate to send other requests!

*As I said before, I won't be writing on JongHyun as respect for him*

____

Paring : Reaction x OT4

Genre : Romance - Love Language

Words count : X

Warning : Full of fluffiness! Some mentions of BDSM or kinky things.

Summary : This is how i think SHINee would show their loves to their partner!

A/N : Please show some love and interact with this post so I can continue writing on SHINee, I really enjoyed it!

Disclaimer : SHINee doesn't belong to me. It's just an imagine. I'm a shawol since 2012, I love them really much but this is just fiction!

____

ONEW

As a leader, I feel like Onew would be all into words of affirmation.

Every days, every opportunities, he would text or say how beautiful you are. How proud he is.

He would also dedicate a lot of his free time to be with you.

SUCH A GENTLEMAN.

Always holding your hands and taking cute selfies with you.

''How did I get so lucky? Meeting you was the best blessing in my life, my love."

My love, my baby, my, my, my everything.

I think he will be really sweet with you and in bed too.

Not much of an experimenter, more casual.

Look at you like you are a piece of art.

KEY

All five. He's so caring with all the members, exceptionally Taemin, but you? You are is top priority.

Acts of service, a lot of them. He loves to cook for you and taking care of you. Preparing a warm bath with candles and flowers after a big day.

He would always love to be near you. His head on your thigh while you watch a movie (quality time)

Buying expensive piece of clothes too. He love to dress you in the most fashionista way.

He would love to have you near him on his many project.

He will probably hire you as a personal assistant or something like that.

He's really good at commutating his feeling so there is almost no argument between you.

''YAH YEOBO YOU ARE SO PRETTY WOW!!"

Always so excited to see you.

He's so into kinky shit. Look at his Born to Shine live.

Of course he did it all for you before the performance.

MINHO

He's all into physical contact.

He loves touching you, kissing you and hugging you.

Always his hand on you if you are near him.

Flowers, wine, chocolate, coffee, etc.

Everything you love, you'll have.

He wants you to be happy and to be comfortable when you are at his place so he would do everything for you.

He will always talk openly of your relationship.

He wants everyone to knows that you are his and he is yours.

Sweet during the days. Savage during the nights.

TAEMIN

This is his face when he see you.

''Yah, jinjja, she's really the most beautiful person on earth. Right hyung?'

He would always be so happy whenever you get the chance to spend times together.

He would love to buy you gifts and having romantic diner.

Such a gentleman. Thanks to his Onew Hyung that thought him all.

He love to dance with you and practice when you are in his studio.

He would dance goofily everytime you are sad.

Always letting you choose the movie.

Experimenting. A lot. In bed. Or in public. *wink wink*

I feel like he would be into this bdsm kink and everything HAHA.

____

Hope you like it, i tried to do it the more neutral i could. Thnkyou my love for reading!

CLICK HERE FOR THE MASTERLIST.

[fanfic-gallery]

Good morning, Tori! How have you been, dear? This event idea is so creative, I love that brain of yours!

If you're up for writing a little chaotic something for me, could I request a (platonic) League of Villains (BNHA) + reader with prompt #777?

one of us

league of villains x gn! reader

|| cw : DEAD DOVE - DO NOT EAT, near-death experience, light mentions of violence

» manager's note: am i actually liking this fic? damn- i must have gotten better- or my standards have lowered- anywaysss, i'd like to say happy pride month to everybody 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 i hope my people in the lgbtqia+ community is having a lovely time celebrating, with that said enjoy the fic <33

"how much longer do they need..." eyes rolled across from the illuminated dance floor towards your bubbling booze. fingers found their way into your hair, gripping and grasping at a chunk of it before pulling at it by the scalp. dabi huffed a laugh of amusement, nonchalantly clinking his glass with yours in an effort to draw your attention towards him.

"you can always.. i don't know, leave?" stitched hand directed your eyes towards the barely visible exit underneath mountains of people. you growled lowly in response, stuffing your head back into the confines of your bare arms, groaning. how did you know that being selected as the group 'undercover' was so mundane, let alone needing to deal with the ass-hat sat just next to you?

seconds turned to minutes, then hours, it felt like literal days had gone by; yet, no signs of shigaraki or the others. you could feel your soul drifting apart from your body --- could it be from the mass amount of booze you had chugged, maybe.. you really couldn't tell. eyes lingered to your side, pupils eyeing the flashing blue flame sparking from your partner's fingertips; it danced and flowed, jumping from tip to tip.

"i get why i'm here, doing this.. but why are YOU here?"

lips slightly ajar, puffing out a light gust of air, blowing at the flicking flare; leaving ashy grey smoke to take its place. "mm, i don't really know.. i don't call the shots," you stared back at him, unimpressed but weren't expect much from a guy you've only just meet weeks before.

october 9th — the day you stumbled into a fate you could never imagine yourself in. legs wobbled, your hands were uneasy; gripping at bricks as you tried to hold yourself together, frame leaning against the wall just beside you. brain in a total mess, nearing the condition of a melted puddle; yet, the clutch against your burning chest was steady, arm still held close the glorious jewel.

"cOUGH- coughcough..." knees lost their strength as you fell on all fours, crimson leaking from your lips and finding its way onto the concrete pavement. ears ringing, barely hearing the clinking of the crystal-like piece rolling across the alley before suddenly stopping. you raised your head; eyes, a blur, only managing to catch glimpses of saturated baby blue before... darkness swallowed you whole.

"ugh....."

"it seems our guest is waking up~"

"what fast recovery.."

"oh-oh! i can't wait to play with them!"

"shut it, all of you..."

noise, noise everywhere... god, how annoying... lashes fluttered, shutting again from the sudden flash of golden rays before readjusting your focus. as each of your senses slowly returned, the warmth just by your feet had caught your attention; white mask covered in black markings stared back, their bright orange button up paired with an elongated top hat having you draw nothing but blanks.

"hello there," gloved hand waved, their mask seemingly twisting into a grin. you gulped, mouth slightly opening to speak till a strong bang struck the sides of the leather couch.

"ahh~ you're cute; shiggy, can we keep 'em?? pretty pleaseee!!" a girl, no younger than a highschool student, had gripped at your arm; blonde locks swaying along with her as she bobbled with joy, her smile barely fitting her face.

"where.. am i; and.. who are you people...-" you shook off the wander girl's wander hands, slowly pulling yourself up but stopping when a piercing sting within your chest made you choke.

"I won't move if I were you..." a man, or what looked to be a man, dressed in formal overalls. his face indistinguishable, head covered in mist of blackish-purple with eyes glowing a bright golden. what could was his hand, reached forward, steadying you by your shoulders as he laid you down on the bed once again.

"we are the league of villians... we had brought you here, or should i say, our leader had brought you here as he deemed you as worthy of joining us." he shifted to his side, revealing the familiar saturated baby blue hair over black clothing. he turned, face unwrapped with a sculpture of a hand, within the gaps of the fingers, crimson pupils stared on from the shadows.

"what do you mean.."

"we've heard of you, Y/N.. a vigilant who helps those, too weak and helpless."

"but they took you for granted, they shook you to the side and disregarded you as just another citizen desperate for the limelight!"

"...we want to help you take revenge.."

eyes rolled, upwards, taking at the looming familiar blue-haired figure, just close enough to notice scars of nails digging into the pale boy's flesh, the dry-ness of it all. despite his size and posture, an eerie aura radiated from him, you didn't know what, but it sickened you.. you felt like throwing up...

"and why should I trust you.."

"...do you have anyone else who's willing to help you right now?"

no.

there was no one else.

your parents, sunning you to the side, faces in disgust...

your friends, blocking you, some even writing discriminating comments on your posts...

the people in your college, cackling like the witches they were, pointing fingers and laughing at your misery every where you went...

you truly had no one.

no one but yourself...

"earth to rookie...-"

"aRK-" you jumped from your seat, barely managing to catch yourself. eyes flared with malice as your hand went straight at dabi's cheek, who in turn, caught it with ease. "don't scare me like that-" in response, he grinned, shrugging his shoulders as he tried to return back to his cocktail till...

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"oh.. looks like they're 'just on time'.."

"fUCKING FINALLY-"

"someone's excited.. "

"duh- who wouldn't be- anyways, ready, partner..?"

"... pftt, ready as i'll ever be, partner.. " eyes of fiery blue set ablaze as scarred hands swept the dance floor within their flames. the heat travelled fast, gasping at its first victim within seconds, leaving nothing but the echoing screams of sheer terror. you joined suit with a lingering smirk, hands raising allowing the silver utensils from the drawers to be sent out flying, some grazed the flesh of its victims and other fell to the ground groaning in agony.

students ran in pure chaos, some even resorted to banging on the windows to escape their hellish damnation. one stumbled towards a girl in red, blood pooling over their lips, begging for help as their hands trailed her skin; yet, all they received was a chuckle as her body melted like clay in their hand, but before their could even react, a knife from behind lodged itself into their head.

"...took you all long enough,"

"well, brother shiggy had some stuff to handle~ you can't really blame him.." toga giggled in return as she twirled, her blade purposefully finding another victim to gash.

"toga's right! nO- she's not!" twice followed.

"where is his dry-ass anyw—" your words cut shorter than the sudden silence in the room. eyes flashed in shock as the once rampaging crowd stilled like statues, all that was meat and bones turned to cracked cement before slowly crumbling away leaving nothing but ash and dust.

"it looks like i might have ruined your fun..." steps of his leather boots rang through the halls, as the familiarity of blue stepped out of the shadows.

"...well, the work is done... but i would have wished it lasted a bit longer-" you shrugged, hiding your frown behind strands of hair.

"the nights not over yettt, right brother shiggy?"

"...mm"

[felikatze]

wawawa i got to the act 3 finale again and looked at both options this time and both are. SO GOOD.

act 3 spoilers, because i have to ramble right now.

like saying its name leads to a SUPER eerie scene. the screen gets darker, sif and the king both take more and more damage, sif's family rally in concern at what is happening-

this variant of the scene also brings up the shattering star imagery two more times - each time sif and the king try to say it. which makes it obvious why they both keep taking damage. something is breaking. siffrin is desperate. maybe he can say it. maybe he can finally say it, finally remember. siffrin starts literally spitting blood and breaking apart and then it kills them.

and the other variant of this scene. not saying it. ohahahaha. it's also very good. the scene is much less eerie, but all the more visceral for it. sif refuses to say it. the screen stays bright. sif's internal monologue continues. they can never say it. something terrible will happen if they do. (and in another time, you can see exactly what that is.) the king begs siffrin to try, but sif refuses, because he cannot allow himself to have hope.

siffrin fucking GETS IT. but they also understand, their home is dead and gone. so they just start YELLING at the king at the top of their lungs, stop it stop it stop it LET IT DIE!! WE HAVE TO LET GO!!!

but the king tries anyway. and everything stops.

it's so. it's so interesting how both of these scenes lead siffrin to the same conclusion: that the king is a fucking moron for even trying. because. there's two aspects to siffrin here.

1.) they know the country is gone. they know it will never come back. it is useless to try.

2.) he would like it to be, anyway

so in a way, the two variants of this scene just lean into one of these aspects. either siffrin is desperate enough to try, or refuses to ever bother for fear of the consequence. and in both scenarios, siffrin is proven right, that the consequence is grave, and attempting it is tantamount to suicide. yet the king and siffrin also get so tantalizingly close anyway, that siffrin berates themself for never taking their own advice. it's a logic vs emotions thing. of course the logical thing is to let go. but emotionally, they really can't.

that's siffrin's whole thing. he can never let go. yet it all slips from his grasp anyway.

it's fantastic, is what i'm saying, how both scenes reveal the same deeper truth about the character through drastically different means, and both scenes have severe emotional weight and impact, regardless of if its horrifying dread or hopeless anger.

and then. of course. talking to the king again. aurgrhhrhrh.

to either scene, it's such a natural next step that you finally get to know the king's backstory. and from everything gleaned in act 3 so far, it has to be a glaring mirror to siffrin's. the two went through the exact same experience, the same loss, the same wanderings, the same new home and same acceptance and same fear of losing it all over again.

when siffrin picks up the mirror picture again, he talks a lot like the king. they talk a lot like the king in general. it's not a coincidence. it's a gradual build up through the third act, especially noticable if you do the family questlines again. sif will mention that they're selfish for doing this, but they like the reassurance again anyway. he likes knowing what happens next. he knows how to make everyone happy, now. wouldn't it be nice to make everyone happy, the best version of themselves they can be, forever?

so. of course you have the option to trust the king. this act is specifically building him up as a foil to siffrin. and again you have that choice, do you have hope, or do you refuse to even try?

which, of course, all comes crashing down when the king reveals he's a massive piece of shit, even with the exact same sobstory as siffrin. aurgh.

goddddd it's just too good okay.

[good-beanswrites]

Fe Aspec Week Day 6: Supports

The restraint it took not to do another Lukas-Python support piece... But no!! I needed my yearly dose of Feliciazura!! And was personally offended that they don't have supports together!!! 😤 I usually like the idea that Azura doesn't realize she's ace and Felicia helps her realize why she's felt so different her whole life, but in writing these I ended up completely reversing that dynamic haha. I'm real happy with how they came out! Alright, roll Are You Listening?...

C Support:

🩷 Alright, here goes. One… two… eek! Lady Azura, I didn’t see you there!

💙 My apologies, Felicia, I didn’t mean to frighten you. If I may ask, what were you doing…?

🩷 No need to apologize, I was just, um! Just cleaning. Right. 

💙 Are you certain…? You were standing in front of the mirror, with all these books open around you. 

🩷 E-exactly! It’s a mess, so I was just cleaning all of that, no need to –

💙 Oh my, they’re all romance novels! I see…

🩷 No! You don’t see anything!

💙 All these pages you have open… your pillow in your arms… were you… practicing kissing, by any chance? 

🩷 ACK!

💙 Haha, I remember growing up in Hoshido, all the little children would practice kissing with their pillows, too. I didn’t realize the custom was shared with Nohr.

🩷 Gods, this is so embarrassing. To be caught doing something so childish! Why can’t I get anything right? (leaves)

💙 Oh, Felicia, wait! I didn’t mean to embarrass her. I actually thought it was rather cute...

B Support:

💙 Felicia, there you are! I’ve been meaning to speak with you lately.

🩷 Ugh, if this is about the other day, there’s no need. I have been mortified about it ever since…

💙 Why are you ashamed? As I said, that’s a very common practice in Hoshido.

🩷 Yes, for kids! Kids who are clueless about romance and doing something silly with their friends. It’s not the type of practice you’d expect from a grown woman who should certainly know how to kiss by this time in her life. I’ve already proved myself a failure at everything else, I suppose it makes sense I’d be falling behind when it comes to romance, on top of all that.

💙 What makes you a failure?

🩷 I’ve never kissed anyone before. Like, really kissed them. I’ve fallen in love and tried to do it right, but every single time I leave like a coward when things get too serious. If even kissing is difficult for me, there’s no way I could do anything more…

💙 … Are you calling me a coward, as well?

🩷 W-what? Of course not, milday! Why would you say such a thing? 

💙 Well, I have no experience with kissing either.

🩷 *sigh* Lady Azura, you don’t have to try and make me feel better. You’re the most competent, gorgeous, charming, and calm woman in the whole army. Surely you have hordes of suitors at your heels! You must have experienced everything that romance has to offer, by this point. 

💙 You flatter me, Felicia. But there’s no need to put yourself down so harshly. From what I’ve gathered, you and I are very similar. I never had experience with those types of things because I never wished for them. Everyone seeks different things in a relationship.

🩷 Yes, but everyone wants to kiss their lover!

💙 Not everyone…

🩷 I told you that you didn’t need to make me feel better. If you’ll excuse me. (leaves)

💙 Ah, I really thought we were getting somewhere this time.

A Support:

🩷 Lady Azura, could we speak for a moment? I’m feeling a little guilty about how our last conversation concluded. 

💙 Oh, what is it Felicia?

🩷 I was so caught up in my own worries, and I wasn’t truly listening to you. When you said we were very similar… did you mean, you also weren’t looking for the more physical aspects of a relationship?

💙 That is correct. You’ll need to pardon my assumptions about you. I do hope I did not overstep.

🩷 Not at all! B-but, doesn’t that frighten you? I’ve always feared that I’m not enough for others. Any time I think about confessing my love, it seems like I’ll need to be more, do more, than I want. So I’ve never acted on my feelings for another.

💙 It certainly can be confusing, at first.

🩷 When I’m falling behind with my duties as Corrin’s maid, Jakob just tells me to practice, practice, practice! I had hoped the same would ring true for these struggles. But no amount of practice or preparation has helped me, yet. If it’s true, and you also haven’t had experience like that… Well, how are you so content with not being enough?

💙 Why, because I am enough. When you find a partner, you find someone that completes you. Neither of you demand anything from the other. You communicate and compromise, as any relationship. But if there’s something you simply cannot give, they need not ask it of you.

🩷 Hm… that is a nice thought… 

💙 So if you don’t want to kiss anyone, or do anything else that may seem unappealing, that doesn’t make you a failure by any means. That just makes you, you. No practice necessary.

🩷 Thank you milady, I’d never thought of it that way before. I have some thinking to do, I believe.

💙 I’ll be here anytime you wish to talk.

S Support:

🩷 Lady Azura, I have a confession to make.

💙 A confession?

🩷 Well, two actually. My first is that… on the day that you caught me practicing kissing… well… it was because I had hoped to kiss you. 

💙 Oh!

🩷 I noticed my feelings a long time ago, but any time I tried to admit them, I got too nervous that I would fall short. I thought if I tried extra hard, maybe I could show you that I could give you anything you needed.

💙 Felicia, I hope you know that I will never ask you to be anything other than yourself. You’re absolutely perfect the way you are. And it's very sweet that you wanted to do something out of your comfort zone for me. You work harder than anyone here, I believe.

🩷 Of course I wanted to! I’ll do anything for the people I care about.

💙 I know. That’s why I admire you so much. I’m really glad the two of us could talk. It’s been so long since I’ve met someone so much like myself. Maybe it’s for the best that I stumbled in on you, hm?

🩷 Oh no, I’m still horribly embarrassed by that!

💙 Haha! And what of your second confession?

🩷 That’s right – my other one was… ack ! It was going to be a love confession, but I guess you already know that now! Ah, I’ve gone and done it all backwards…

💙 I don’t mind in the slightest. My answer, of course, is yes. I’d love nothing more than to be yours.

🩷 I just love you so much! I promise you, I’ll do whatever it takes for both of us to be the most comfortable.

💙 And I vow to make sure you never feel lacking. Together, we will be more than enough.

[soo-won]

do you think soowon is sociopath? i saw some fans saying he lacks empathy and i don't think he does.

Hey Anon! Thank you for the ask :) I didn't expect to receive that kind of question that was the heart of debates years ago, but I'm more than happy to reply!

Very long answer below the cut. Sorry for being unable to be brief, there's nothing that I love more than talking about Suwon and his emotions!

Short answer is no I don't think Suwon is a sociopath, at all.

I've read people say that many times, especially in response to chapter 196, I don't know if that's what you have in mind. From personal experience, I've never seen anyone call him a sociopath know what that word really means or not being a Suwon-anti and I think most of the time people say this in the pejorative "cold and emotionless" way. The manga has shown countless times the range of Suwon's emotions, and to imply he doesn't feel anything is just, wrong (Kusanagi stated it explicitely too). I guess it's understandable for series going on for years like akayona, but I feel like it's a common mistake to read a chapter as a standalone and not something that adds to what was established before. Like, it's not because the diary and castle arc showed new sides of Suwon (through the eyes of other characters on top of that) and in specific circumstances that it invalidates everything shown to us about him before. It's one piece of the puzzle for sure, but nothing less nothing more. I'm no psychiatrist and I'm not qualified to give anyone any kind of diagnostic, but Suwon feels very much, and he feels guilt, is even paralyzed by it at times and it is sometimes an obstacle to him. Suwon is all about discarding feelings, and for that to be a thing, feelings have to be there to begin with. From what I know about sociopathy, this isn't it. And even if he was, that wouldn't make him any less lovable and deserving of compassion to me.

Now on empathy specifically, it's more arguable, but I don't see lacking empathy as something inherently wrong that makes someone broken or cold. What you feel or not doesn't matter in my opinion, it's what you do to care for others. So like, yeah, if you compare with Yona I guess you could say Yona is more empathic than Suwon, but in no way that alone would make her a better person than him(I don't want to make this about Suwon vs Yona, she was just the first character to come to mind).

Lack of empathy is also not exclusively a sociopath thing. Like, everyone feels it to a different degree and there is a lot factors that can be at play.

Suwon feels and thinks differently, his differences with characters like Meinyan, Yona and Hak being the most obvious examples of that, and it's one of the many things that make me see him as neurodivergent in some way. But in the end, whether he feels empathy or not is not important. Or like, yeah, it can be interesting to explore, but it isn't relevant to define him in the slightest.

That being said, let's talk about what we know. First, what we know for sure, is that he cares! And even if you admit he doesn't have the same level of empathy as others, he tries to help when he can and if it's not in the way of his goals. Whether it's when he was a child comforting Yona and his mother, or reassuring an insecure Lili, or again, trying to comfort a trembling Yona in the way he knows best. It's something that comes naturally to him, something that very much makes him, him. Suwon is someone who wants to help, and who finds joy in making others happy.

He is also intelligent, can understand how people think and feel, and why people act the way they do. He is able to sense very young that Il doesn't like him. He was able to give Yona exactly what she needed when she was mourning her mother. In the present, Suwon understands why Yona or Hak would want to kill him, or how his words would only upset them because he is able to put himself in their shoes. (This, is different than empathy imo. Putting yourself in someone else' shoes is an effort you make to understand others, whether you feel what they feel) It's because he understands how people feels that he was able to come this far and unite the country like he did. He is able to play with how people perceive him to get the upper hand over them too. And he is very aware of the consequences of his colder decisions. Everytime he discards someone, he very much expects their hostility towards him and doesn't ask anything of them again. In my opinion Suwon just doesn't think in term of good vs bad. He can tell between the two in like how it matters to others, but it's not relevant to him, and he rather thinks in term of "is that thing on my way or not". (I think he does struggle to understand the extent of how people feel about him, though. He thinks logically, so it's hard for him to understand things that go against all logic, like Hak and Yona helping him after everything.)

Then I think it's important to mention the part of Suwon that shows a discardment of emotions and empathy, and Yuhon.

Actually, how much of that comes from how Yuhon raised him, the environment he grew up in, or from how he is inherently as a person is interesting sure, but not that relevant either. Whatever the roots of it, he is able to put his feelings on the side and stay composed in dire situations. But again, it doesn't mean he doesn't feel anything. And what the war against Kai shows is that his ability to not be affected by the deaths of his people is the reverse of the determination-turned-desperation to not lose against Kai. "Even death is acceptable"(his own included) he says to himself. The fact this is a thing he had to tell himself to begin with says a lot in my opinion. He was struggling, and had to remind himself repeatedly to not look back, to think about nothing but the war. Suwon has limits, even if he is more composed and determined than most, and when he reaches these limits he needs to cling onto his father's words, because otherwise he would falter and stop being able to think clearly.

Thanksfully this desperation turned back into his usual determination(still kinda fueled by the urgency of his situation) after the events of this battle. But like, Suwon is not at all a character that is a complete facade when he acts as a King and whose cold decisions go completely against his heart all the time. He really is the King not hesitating to take harsh decisions and make sacrifices to achieve his goals. He really is the King not unfazed in the slightest about losing his own castle and capital, and people dying in war for his cause. That's also what makes him, him, and something more than helpful in war where you have to deal with losses and unpredictable events all the time.

Going back to chapter 196, when Yonhi thinks to herself "How can he be so detached?" or when Yuhon's faction is impressed by how unfazed he was about investigating his own father's corpse, in no way it is that Suwon doesn't feel anything about his father or Yona. He so does. He is shown burning with anger, and he is shown not looking the least enthousiastic about killing Il. The situations and ways in which he expresses these emotions are simply not what you would usually expect from a child, but why should there be any rule about how someone is supposed to react and feel? There's nothing scary about that. When you stop to think about 2 seconds, is it that fearsome for someone to cope by taking the lead and prioritizing dealing with the problems at hand first, and being unable to process things emotionally? Like, isn't that pretty common? I can relate a lot to that personally. I guess what is surprising in this case is how Suwon is able to do it so young and to this extent, but it's nothing more than that. When Suwon asks Yonhi if she wants Il to die, and she gets scared of that, Suwon is genuinely asking too. Is that this far-fetched for him to assume Yonhi would want that when everyone else around him does? When revenge seems to be the very reason Il, supposed to be peace-loving, killed his father?

People might say that Suwon lacks empathy and maybe they wouldn't be wrong, but he constantly tries to understand what people want and answer to their expectations anyway. And I think that's what matters the most, even if he fails at it sometimes. He couldn't understand how Yonhi felt about Il in chapter 196, but he still tried hard to be what he thought she wanted from him: a replacement of Yuhon (Again, logical conclusion when that's what everyone else around him encourage). He still did all he could to comfort her, and he gave her strength.

He became the ideal King most of the generals and Yuhon faction wanted, and a lot of the issues in his relationship with Yona and Hak come from the fact he behaved in front of them as the Suwon they (used to think they) wanted. He cared for them genuinely, but he couldn't show the rest of him because it would go against the idealized image they had of him. Just like he can't show all of himself in front of his supporters either, because what they want is for him is a perfect, never faltering King, following Yuhon's footsteps. When it became impossible to be these two ideals at the same time, he discarded one. Suwon cares and loves, and this has nothing to do with empathy. He is both the caring friend and the pragmatic king and can't discard either.

Suwon might have less empathy than others, yet he is the one who acted to better the lives of his country's citizens, in contrast to Il, that sure, might be more empathic (except when it comes to Suwon visibly) yet barely acted on it.

I'm gonna stop here but I could go on forever. I hope it's not too much all over the place. Sorry I can't help it.

TDLR : no I don't think he is a sociopath, mainly because he feels guilt and regards what people think a lot, and all he does is never for his own personal benefit. But empathy or not, he cares and does his best. There is so much to explore about him, and basing the morality of a character on empathy is just not it. I think the fact he has such a different way of thinking compared to the rest of the main cast is what makes him so fresh and interesting and I wouldn't want him any other way. He doesn't give a fuck and idk it's funny and so cathartic sometimes. We should embrace that.