#Financially I am slowly dying and I'm not dead in the water because my beloved gf is amazing and thankfully can handle this
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I feel like spiraling is always described as a quick thing but let me tell you. Girls will get afraid and slowly spiral for months I think.
#Like overall we're. Okay#Just wish I had disability getting approved soon or I find a new job or I can just somehow not be sitting in#Either the negatives or slightly above the negatives#Financially I am slowly dying and I'm not dead in the water because my beloved gf is amazing and thankfully can handle this#For at least a few months#But my long term thoughts are so uncertain#I just want to be around her and I just want us to live comfortably#I'm ever so slowly trying to crawl out of this over a year art block and that's a bit taxing mentally too#Idk I just want a bedframe that doesn't make me scared I'll fall every time I sleep or get on it#I wanna work off my fuckhuge loan debt#Its been so ungodly hard recently#I'm also thankful my dr rocks and meds have been helping with pain a good bit.#It just feels like I'm ever so slowly slipping into pretty much bed ridden territory again#Even with the meds. They help the pain a good bit (sometimes) but I still feel exhausted. And I'm getting insomniatic again#I just wanna sleep. I just wanna feel no stress for the first time. I've been stressed since fucking middle school#Or maybe even 6th grade because thats when the chronic pain started! Yayy!!!
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