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ftwdb · 1 year ago

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Don't Say Go

Chapter 2

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

Your entire body was sore and uncomfortable when you woke. Your eyes fluttered open and you felt the pains of dehydration shoot through your skull as you moaned.

A hand was on your cheek in an instant, a cool compress pressed to your face and around the open collar of your shirt as you sighed at the sensation. It took a few long moments before your memories came flooding back…

Home. San Diego. Blood drenched teeth and screaming, planes overhead flying through the night as explosions and fire began to rage… your family… burning.

A shadow with blue eyes standing over you.

Your eyes flew open and this time you endured the pain the light caused. A face swam over you, but these eyes were not the familiar blue from your dreams. The face was unknown, but kind. It belonged to a man a few years older than you with short brown hair and a gentle smile.

“Welcome back, you had us all worried.”

You frowned.

Worried? Who was this stranger to be worried about you?

Noise suddenly overcame you. Voices chattering, footsteps falling in all directions around you. You even thought you heard the whinnie of a nearby horse.

You tried to swallow, tried to speak, but your voice was a broken husk of sound.

“Where… is he?”

The kind looking face twisted into something else. Concern, perhaps? He turned away, his shoulders stiff.

“You mean the man who found you out there?”

You tried to say yes but the sound that escaped you was more of a cough. Still, it seemed to be enough to be understood.

“That was my brother, Troy. But you should rest, don’t worry about anything else. You almost died out there.”

You wanted to explain you couldn’t rest. You’d been looking for this man, Troy, for so long. Maybe even longer than the dreams and the Pull had driven you east, you just hadn’t ever understood what the empty feeling within you had been until you’d been close enough to feel him.

A hand on your shoulder stopped you trying to sit upright and you saw something in his other hand that had your heart thundering. A needle, which he injected into the IV taped to your arm. You felt the effects of the sedative and fought the way everything about you began to swirl.

“I have to… find…”

You were unconscious before you could finish speaking and the kindly man let out a long, heavy sigh.

He’d known what his brother was doing these last few weeks, scouring the mountains and the wilderness like a madman. There was only one feeling that could drive someone on like that, through hunger and exhaustion and into dangers unseen. Jake had felt it himself just three years ago when he’d met his soulmate in a time and place he’d tried to forget. He’d had only months with her when the cancer that had ravanged her body took her from him, breaking the bond between them with a pain Jake thought he could never survive.

But he did. And as much as he had loved his soulmate the agony and the emptiness left in her absence was often so unbearable he wished he has never followed the Pull to her sickbed.

When he had returned home and confessed the last few months had not been spent completing his degree in law, but holding the hand of a sickly woman as she died, his brother had sneered and called him a fool. His father, who had never met his own soulmate and simply married whichever woman was willing to put up with him, had said nothing but looked at him with a mixture of sadness and disappointment.

Jake looked at the frail body of the woman on the bed. Whenever he had pictured the soulmate of his little brother he’d pictured someone filled with as much fire and darkness as his only sibling. But this girl, whose name they still did now know, seemed like a strong wind would knock her down.

He hoped with rest and time to recover Jake would see the strength in her that would be needed in Troy’s soulmate. Jake loved his brother, but he also saw the truth of who he was, even more so than their own father. And a part of him pitied this girl who was tied to Troy through no fault of her own.

No one really knew how the Pull worked; who or what decided made someone a soulmate for someone else. Jake knew of people who hated their soulmate and yet not being with them caused physical pain. He’d heard rumours of studies done on cadavers who saw actual scarring on the hearts of those who had lost their soulmates or chosen to remain seperate from them.

Jake remembered the arrival of Troy and his hunting party a few nights prior, when Blake had appeared in the medical tent with the scrap of a girl in his arms with barely any pulse.

“Who is she?” Jake had asked.

“Just save her,” Troy had snapped as he’d entered the tent. “No questions.”

With that he had turned and left, refusing to come near the tent since.

It had been obvious why Troy wanted the girl saved. But whereas Jake had refused to leave the side of his soulmate for days, Troy seemed determind to act like she didn’t exist.

Jake scratched at his head, the sweat on his brow irritating his eyes as he stepped from the tent and into sunshine.

If Troy’s soulmate died, especially now he had found her, his pain would be unimaginable. Troy had had a lifetime of pain, too much for someone so young. It was the cause of much of the darkness in him, even though Jake had always done his best to protect and shield his baby brother, there was only so much he could do as a child himself.

Jake had always worried for Troy, then he worried about Troy.

As he approached the canteen tent and his eyes fell upon the hunched figure of his brother, sat with his second-in-command and other members of the militia, Jake wondered what darkness would come from the loss of a soulmate, even one Troy was determined to pretend he did not care for, and for the first time Jake felt the swelling of fear within him.

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ftwdb · 8 months ago

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Don’t say go.

Chapter 18.

It’s dark by the time you feel the strength of The Pull reaching its peak, and you know what that means. You look around into the darkness. In the wastes there isn’t much besides stretches of empty barren land and mountains in the distance. You know you’re not yet at your destination which can only mean one thing; the boy with the flag was headed toward you too.

You see twin lights in the distance. A car headed toward you. Eventually you stop in the middle of the road and just wait. The lights get closer until they shine on your windscreen and you both sit, unmoving, just waiting for the other to make the first move.

You cut the truck’s engine and step out.

The boy does the same. The light of your vehicles illuminate the night just enough that you can make each other out in the darkness.

The boy steps forward enough so that he is thrown into view and you can see the warm brown of his eyes, his features which are so different from Troy’s, softer but still strong.

You hesitate. Your gun is tucked in the back of your jeans and your fingers twitch.

The boy speaks.

“Hi… I’m Nick.”

You don’t say anything, you just keep watching until he clears his throat as if a little unsure of himself.

“You came alone?” he asks.

You could have kicked yourself. Coming alone had been a risk but now that he was here, in the middle of nowhere, and no one knew where you’d gone, you realised how vulnerable you’d left yourself.

“For now,” you answered him flatly. At least if you were vague about whether you had people with you it might make him have second thoughts if he was planning anything…

The boy waits a beat before trying again.

“I guess you felt it too then…”

You don’t want to say the words out loud so you simply nod your head. The boy, Nick, continues.

“I thought I was going crazy at first. I never thought I’d find my… find you. Feel it, you know?”

You frown at this. Everyone worries they’ll never find their soulmate but something in his voice captures your attention. It’s less that he’s worried about the odds and more… something you can’t quite distinguish.

“Why?” you ask.

Nick hesitated before shrugging a little.

“That’s a… it doesn’t matter. What matters now is that I found you. It feels… weird. Don’t you think?”

Perhaps if you hadn’t already had the experience with Troy you would agree. But you didn’t want him to know that Troy was your soulmate and so you don’t answer his question.

“Look I came here to warn you. Some of the people from my community are coming back tonight to finish what they started. You need to tell your people to run.”

Nick frowns at this information.

“We agreed to a truce-“

You shake your head in annoyance. You don’t want to explain all this. You want him to just listen to your warning and leave so you can forget about whatever this mistake is between you both and go home, go back to Troy.

“They’re acting of their own accord. Some of the men have certain… loyalties. This isn’t about protecting their home, it’s about revenge.”

Nick is watching you closely now and you don’t like the way his eyes are roaming over you. You freeze. You wonder if he can feel your emotions just like you can with Troy. You reach out in the same way you do with Troy and try to find Nick, to feel what he feels… there’s nothing. Just the regular sense of The Pull.

“You’re warning me because of this feeling between us? You came looking for me because of it.”

You shake your head growing more frustrated as all you want to do is head back before Mike and the others see you out here.

“I don’t have time to explain myself. You have to get your people and go far away from here. Don’t come back.”

Nick’s eyes widen as he realises you have no intention of staying with him.

“But… you have to come with me. When I left earlier, after I saw you, it felt like my heart was being-“

“It doesn’t matter.” You say quickly, all too familiar with that pain. “I can’t come. I won’t go with you. But I don’t want you to die either so, please, leave.”

Nick is staring at you incredulously.

“I can’t do that.”

You actually growl from your frustration with him.

“Why!?”

“Because,” Nick says as he steps closer. You take a large step away from him. You can’t risk him getting too close, having him touch you. You don’t know what will happen.

“I just found you. I can’t walk away!” he continues.

“Then run! Drive! Fucking skip for all I care! If you stay, you die. Not that I care-“

“That’s a lie.” Nick cuts you off quickly. “Soulmates need each other. Hearts literally break when they lose one another. So why… why are you denying this?”

You swallow nervously and look at the truck. You could just get back in and drive away, but what if he follows? You have a feeling he would. He seems the type. Reckless and stubborn.

“I… it’s complicated.”

You say, and you hate how pathetic that sounds.

“‘It’s Complicated’ used to be a Facebook status.” Nick quips. “Tell me the truth. Why run from me?”

“I’m not!”

“Then what are you running from!? Or… wait… what are you going back to?”

You clench your jaw as Nick slowly starts to put the pieces together in his head.

“You have someone-“

“No.”

“A boyfriend? Fiancé?”

“No! No one!”

“Your home then, your community. You’re worried this would cause a problem. Conflict? But maybe it could help solve the bad blood between us! Two soulmates who find each other on opposites sides-“

“This isn’t bloody Romeo and Juliet, Nick!”

He grins and it makes you want to slap the beautiful smile off his face.

“You’re hardly Juliet sweetheart.”

You snarl, your anger beginning to erupt. Why won’t he just listen! Why make this so complicated!

“Whatever! Just get in your car and drive away Romeo!”

Nick laughs and it’s almost like he’s enjoying this.

“Oh the universe is truly a bitch. I didn’t think I’d find my soulmate because I didn’t deserve one. But maybe I do. It’s ironic that she would hate me, a poetic kind of punishment I guess…”

Your expression eases but doesn’t soften as you listen to him ramble. Hate? You didn’t hate him…

“Why would you be punished?” you ask, your senses on alert in case this was the part where he confesses to being a serial killer or something.

Nick shrugs again.

“If you got to know me, you’d understand.”

You shake your head again with a weary sigh.

“You don’t listen do you.”

Nick steps forward again and this time the light moves so he’s back in the shadows with you.

“I could… but you’d need to actually tell me something for me to hear it. Something besides “run away” because that isn’t happening.”

You swear at him and he smirks.

“We don’t have time. Your people will be killed.”

Nick rubs his hand over the back of his neck and it finally seems to dawn on him, he has other responsibilities. Other people to protect.

“When are your people attacking?”

“They’re leaving the ranch around midnight, so probably by the early hours of the morning. Before sunrise though.”

“Element of surprise, cover of darkness. They’re smart.”

“And well armed. So will you listen to me now?”

Nick stares at you for a few seconds and you almost believe he’d let his people risk being slaughtered instead of going back to warn them.

“Fine.”

You blink at him.

“Fine?”

“That’s what I said. I’ll go back. I’ll warn them.”

“And you’ll run? You can’t fight back, it’ll be a bloodbath.”

“Look I can’t promise anything… we have some stubborn members of our group and they might not take the truce being broken well-“

“The truce isn’t broken. It’s just a small group-“

“Still breaking the truce. Still disobeying your leader, right?”

You bite your tongue. Jeremiah wasn’t their “leader” officially but he was as good as.

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess. So what? You’ll go back and they’ll try to defend themselves?”

Nick shrugs again.

“If they think it’s more beneficial than running.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose.

“I’m getting a damn headache.”

For some reason this amuses Nick.

“Head rub?”

Your look at him is deadly and he sniggers.

“Joking. Lighten up. Look, I’ll go back and do what I can to stop anymore death. But I can’t promise anything. We lost people. The guy who was in charge came at us like a demon. We didn’t stand a chance…”

Your stomach twists as Nick talks about Troy.

“You want revenge?”

Nick’s expression blanks out and you recognise the perfectly controlled mask on his face. You’d used it yourself before.

“Me? No. But there are those who do.”

“Then convince them their lives aren’t worth it. Tonight is not their night to die. Please… no more death.”

Your voice breaks as you finish your sentence and Nick tilts his head at you. You look away, hating that you’d let some vulnerability slip through.

“Who’d you lose?”

You take a slow breath and shake your head.

“Doesn’t matter. Just… do what you can. And if you can’t save them… save yourself at least.”

Nick looks like he wants to say more. He looks pained.

“Can I… see you again?”

It’s almost laughable. Like a schoolboy asking out his crush. You place your hand on the door of the truck and grip it tight as you give him a firm “no” and turn away before you can see the look on his face.

You slide into your truck and slam the door, locking it before turning in the engine. This was for the best. You didn’t know what else to do. There had been some mistake and maybe Nick had another soulmate out there somewhere too? You hoped so… you didn’t want him to be in pain.

You hear a tap at the window and you look over to see Nick still standing there, motioning for you to wind it down. You do, only a few inches so you can hear him speak.

Nick pauses as he looks you over before speaking.

“It’s him, isn’t it.”

You frown and Nick elaborates.

“The guy who attacked us. The one who was hurt. He’s why you won’t stay with me.”

You feel your stomach drop. Your hands clench on the wheel as you grit your teeth.

“His name is Troy.”

“Troy…” Nick repeats and you hear the sadness and disappointment in his voice. “Well, you must love him a lot to choose him over your soulmate.”

You avoid his eyes still and stare straight ahead until the light from his car burns your eyes.

Nick continues.

“… I hope he makes it, for your sake. And… I want you to know it wasn’t me. I didn’t hurt him.”

You nod, not that it would have mattered. As much as you loved Troy you could understand he’d made a choice that led to his own injuries. Even if he’d done it to protect you… you hated that the blood that had been spilt was on your hands too now.

“I have to go,” you say emptily and put the truck into reverse.

Nick steps back just in time to save his foot being run over as you reverse and turn, glancing back to see his shadow in the headlights as you drive back home. Back to Troy. Back to where your heart felt complete as you tried to ignore how it felt as if you’d just left a piece of it in the darkness behind you…

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