#Even if she hasn't done anything truly horrible in the past so it feels so cruel and unfair. She just wanted to live
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I don't really like Reko's deaths but demise from her own copy is ironic and bitter. I saw posts somewhere that her doppelganger killing her ties into her arc of starting as rough and becoming kinder and I see the appeal
Like that's her past, who Reko was (not to say she was a horrible person, it's just that she was a bit more selfish and harsh on people, she had flaws she worked on and grew as a person). She changed for better, mellowed out, reflected on her worldview. Reko knows her mistakes, she moved on more or less, she's a different person now! Let past be the past...
But in this case her past literally comes back and kills her. Someone that she no longer is. With flaws she no longer has. As if life hasn't forgotten about how selfish Reko was. It's not like it was irredeemable of fake Reko to kill the real one because the former had identity crisis and a threat of death. But it still chases our Reko down as a reminder of her past rough personality
#I mean it could also show that kindness leads to death and more ruthless people fight for survival intensely#I remember the posts explaining this but don't remember where exactly I read it#your turn to die#reko yabusame#I definitely don't think it was deserved in the slightest but it feels like a punishment for past mistakes#Even if she hasn't done anything truly horrible in the past so it feels so cruel and unfair. She just wanted to live#It's like an unforgiving consequence where your change doesn't cancel out who you were#Even if once again she wasn't a horrible person. The worst she did was probably hating Alice for a murder he never committed#But she truly believed her dear brother became a murderer so like it's a complex situation#Anyway this game is cruel and I love it
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No pls đ i hate the idea that raising Silver was a fun experiment out of curiosity to see if he could love a human or not, and that the answer still isnt clear. I hate the idea of Silver, the son of their enemy, being raised to be nothing but a soldier to serve Malleus in some poetic irony. I feel thereâs love there but Iâve almost been transported into Silverâs mind where everything is melancholy and unclear. Does he matter as much as I believe he does đđđ or is it just a cruel tale of some foundling human always meant to be put somewhere else when the fairies are done with them
The thing is, is Silver capable of accepting the fact that Lilia's happiest moment is Malleus' hatching? Yeah, of course, who wouldn't. The man suffered for years, absolutely driven mad with guilt over Meleanor's death and the fear that he wouldn't be able to keep his promise and hatch the one thing that remained of her, the proof of her existence and love. He had to hatch Malleus, because Meleanor believed that he could, that he somehow carried enough love in those tired, aching, and emptied bones, a love that she saw in him when he couldn't even believe it of himself. If he couldn't, it would be one more insult to her name, a failure yet again, a last betrayal of her trust that he couldn't afford and wouldn't survive.
So that weeping? He's so damn dizzy with relief and love and affection for this silly creature inside that's a symbol of the love of the most important people in his life, how could one react in any other way? How fragile and vulnerable, to know that the happiest moment in Lilia's life is to realize after hundreds of years, he was capable of that love all along.
And Silver sees thisâ he sees the lengths that Lilia went to in order to hatch Malleus, the horrible abuse he stoically suffered from the Senate, the massive disrespect for all that he had lost and sacrificed. Of course he'd accept that this is Lilia's pivotal moment, the bittersweet reward for centuries of despair.
But on the other hand, Silver; a boy who has lost equally, if not more. He's been cast out of his own time, four hundred years into the future, where everyone and anyone who might have known him or his family (save for Lilia) has been long since dead, the kingdom he might have ruled long crumbled to dust. Is it even a footnote in the history textbook he reads? Is there any mention of the Knight of Dawn, of Princess Leia? Anything at all besides the ring in his hand and Lilia's memories to prove that they existed, that they were real, that they loved and wanted him as much as Meleanor had loved Malleus?
All he has, all he's known, is Lilia. Lilia, who found him, who woke him from the spell as the one fated to truly love him. Lilia who thought of killing him upon learning who had sired him, Lilia who raised him to be a guard, to serve those his father once stood against. Lilia who wondered if he could ever love a human, a question that I agree hasn't fully been answered (or acknowledged by Lilia himself) if we are to associate the fact Silver still bears the effects of the sleeping curse with the belief that either Lilia hasn't called him his son and confessed his love, or if Silver still struggles with self-love himself (and we can get into a whole debate over his self-worth and his view as a sacrificial tool, that's an endless discussion).
Lilia . . . whose happiest moment has nothing to do with the boy who calls himself Lilia's one and only son.
And regardless of how I fully understand why Malleus' hatching is that moment, it's still so fucking sad to me.
Your whole life is centered around this one person whom you love more than anyone elseâ your short, human lifeâ and in reality, you didn't even feature in that person's dream. We only saw Silver's past due to the blot, memories that were completely out of order and not in sync with Lilia's true dream at all.
And Silver will never harbor resentment over this, he will always place his family and loved ones first, but damn it, I can be a little miserable about it. All that trauma we went through with the last update, and now we learn that finding Silver and learning to love the son of his greatest enemy (the son of the person that killed Meleanor!) wasn't Lilia's happiest moment?
Was it just for the poetic irony? I really hope not. I really hope that TWST gives the conversation that Lilia and Silver need to have the due gravity it deserves, because Lilia needs, whether Silver realizes it or not, to look that boy in the eye and tell him that he loves him, he's always been his son, and no matter what their pasts may show, he's been Silver Vanrouge all along.
#lettie's asks#twisted wonderland#twst spoilers#twisted wonderland silver#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#twst lilia#gingerly places this in the tags#but i finally was able to put my emotions about this update into words#this got really long lmao sorry about that
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XD I am laughing my ass off here. What a great reaction *lol* Tita was so in awe by the technologies used for Lapis that she was like "I need to take her apart to look at the tech" she surely didn't mean it in a bad way, but she scared the heck out of Lapis, so apparently Agate has to put a leash on her XD
Look, I want my class 7 to be back together as much as they want to reunite with Rean but this was just an ridiculously stupid move. First of all all 3 teams would have reunited at the tower eventually anyway. It would have been much more useful for all teams to remain the way they were until then and reunite at the tower, which was their meeting point anyway. Second, Reans team is by default the biggest and thus didn't need the extra support of Alisa, Towa, Machias and Sharon so damn badly. And third, breaking of into small team to reunite with whoever will put them at a disadvantage compared to staying in this big and thus stronger groupe. But... whatever.
OKAY I admit it does feel good to have all my class 7 ducks in a row again. But I still stand by that this was a stupid move...
Obviously... when would he ever not?
FOUR FULL CHAPTERS my boy! I waited for chapters for this reunion and NIS just fucked up the translation to make it even less impactful than it already was for your standards. Seriously.
Are you now? Well... I guess you have to with this man by your side XD
I am not sure why everyone is so tense about this fight. Look at what we have at our disposal. Thors united Class7 in all its glory, including the super maid as well as the complete SSS AND Liberls greatest bracers and their ZFC Maskot. Among our team are two freaking Gralsritter. We have 3 former Jeagers among us too. What the hell could go wrong with such a team?
I am lucky that I am playing on very easy, because I am pretty sure otherwise I would need to put my team together with their strengths, weaknesses and Crafts in mind, instead of making a full out shipping-team XD
You know what is really frustrating? With almost all the other character, their redemption never felt like they really did anything change for the better or change their mind about things... in fact, I believe even at the end Crow still thought he had the right to kill Osborne. Most of them were hiding behind sad pasts, the influence of the curse and some brainwashing here and there. Few actually truly admitted that they have been wrong. Yes, some of them admitted that they did horrible things, but often not with it looking like they truly and fully regret them. And most of the time their way back into the world of the nice guys was just because the nice guys wanted them there, or accepted them there for one good deed. Rufus is one of the characters you just want to see dead after everything he did, after all his betrayals and the backstabbing and even after he decided to take all the blame on himself and with that managed to keep Lechter and Claire free. So starting this game, you wish him the worst. But you can just not keep that up, because he does actually has the most realistic change of all and he actually truly works for his redemption and deals with his faults and weaknesses along the way. It sucks so much that you don't want to like him, but the game made it plainly impossible to still hate him as much as before. And it makes you feel bad for hating on him, while people like Crow simply get away with what is basically nothing in comparison and yet you still can't help but somehow like them.
Yeah and here is a big "FINALLY!" from me. It was about time.
Then maybe it is time to become a lover... but there is no sense in even thinking about going down this road even tho it is cleary right ahead of us, given how Rixia still seems to after Lloyd in Kuro. It sucks but... nothing can be done about it. This moment will have to be enough.
You know its bad when this happens...
He hasn't done anything particularly bad in Kuro so far, aside from a few jabs at the empire and stuff like that... but seeing his damned face makes me so angry!
I guess I make my way into the reverie corridor and that it will be it for me for today.
Now that I am done for today I have a few quick choice words on the translation of this game that I have mostly been holding back, but can not hold back any longer.
First of all: The Ebon-Defense-Force originates in the Ebon-Knight and thus, they should have pronounced it in the same way. Dieter Croise is not called DieEter and its weird that Elie says it wrong and Lloyd says it right.
ALSO I do not claim to be able to read Japanese (I wish I could) but there are immense differences in translation between the Spreadsheet and the NIS-Translation and while I was at first assuming that since the spreadsheet was done only by a fan and very fast at that, that that meant it was a very rough translation there are certain parts, multiple that is, were I did somewhat understand what was said and I can definitely confirm they made some unnecessary changes multiple times.
Just to name the ones that obviously are the strongest to me is that they immensely towned down Reans favoring Alisa thingy when mentioning the guys stuck in Crossbell or even when greeting them when Reunited. There have been multiple occasions throughout the game were I know for a fact that Rean has either only mentioned Alisa (like when he was meant to reach Crow and then said he can not reach Alisa - I checked the translation back then because it seemed weird to me he would only mention Alisa instead of Towa who is his colleague - he actually really just mention Alisa and not Towa and Machias) or kept saying stuff "Alisa and the others" when talking about them as well as the Reunion-scene were he said "Alisa. Everyone", where I didn't need to even read Japanese because it was voiced and he did indeed only say Alisas name, but in the Translation of NIS he said: "Hey, over here!" or something like that without mentioning any name at all.
There have been multiple other occasions where I know for a fact that the lines were altered sometimes extremly. Even in "The fallen Prince" we have multiple moments that were changed that pissed me off. The red constellation mentioning that Cedric was worth being under Shirleys watch was an important point in that Story, because it was necessary to see between the lines what exactly Shirley had to lose, if Cedric would fuck it up. Instead they only said that théy now understand why Shirley sees potential in him, but the meaning is simple not the same. This is not just me nitpicking. Just seeing the potential in Cedric isn't enough here, the red constellation has to accept the work and time and effort Shirley puts into that boy. Speaking of which... as endearingly cute that "our boy" was, that is definitely NOT what Shirley said. Who does this "our" even refer too? Her and Garrath? Are they raising him together or what? It would have been a different story if she would have said "Our princeyboy" instead but I know for a fact that she never used his nickname in that story either.
And all the changes are even worse than some of the changes made in CS4. Titas and Agates scenes have been altered a lot in CS4, going to the point were they didn't allow Agate to actually hint at Tita being the most important person to him. Or changing the conversation were Rean is asked if he things the feelings Agate has for Tita are just the feelings of a Guardian and he says he doesn't believe its just a guardian thing.
I do partly get why they felt the need to tone down Tita and Agate as a ship but I don't get the sudden need for toning down Rean and Alisa or anything that could hint to much at Shirley and Cedric. Nor do I understand how it comes that Lloyd voice actor pronounces Dieter right and Elies doesn't.
Its frustrating and I feel like next time I play with the Japanese voices again just to here all the times they fuckt up the translation so obviously.
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â no, â  she says softly, taking a deep breath and shaking her head.  â but ---  now you do know, â  she points out, hoping that they can be better about it moving forward. they weren't on the same page after rescue, they didn't know how to be --- but there's no reason for them not to be now, and tai will do whatever she can to reassure her of that  ( now that she realizes just how horribly she's done in the past. )  she bites down on her lip, nodding slowly back at her. it's a fair thing to say, but tai still worries that she really might just hang the resentment over her head forever --- and even if tai can't blame her for it, she's still dreading it, wondering if they can truly get back to what they once had. she has to believe that they will, though -- she's already decided on so many changes that are too late to go back on now, especially after that kiss.  â i get it. whenever. i'll be ready to listen. â
tai gulps, harboring a silent resentment for misty for not warning her of what was to come -- though maybe if she had, tai would have only run, unwilling to face mikayla because she knew how weak she'd be for her. it's probably for the best they were forced to confront each other, even if things got messy in the process. it's for the best, she still hopes. â okay-- â  she grumbles, rolling her eyes at her words.  â  i just want to be on the same page as you. don't we deserve that? â she wants to be able to talk, even if she's spent the past 7 years not wanting to talk about anything real at all. with mikayla, it's easy -- or at least it should be, once they get back to that place.Â
tai rolls her eyes, but she knows mikayla is right. she could probably have anyone she wanted-- even back then, she thought, yet her attention was on tai. she took pride in it then, and she wants to feel that now as mikayla's come here to make it clear what she wants, but she really could have found something more stable, just like taissa did, too. it does have the potential to make her feel jealous--- but there's a reason they're both here with each other, not still trying to make it work with someone else.  â i will. and then you won't have to ever worry about kissing anyone else,  â  she insists, a small, smug smile tugging at her lips.  Â
she gulps, trying to remember a time when it was easy to spill their love for each other. it came with so much hope back then. now, it comes with so much pain--- but she knows that will subside eventually, they just have to get through this big bump first.  â the rest of our lives? â  she asks, before she can get the chance to stop herself from repeating the words. it should sound like a big, daunting commitment, especially when she hasn't even really ended her engagement yet, but it doesn't. it gives her more relief, knowing that mikayla really does see a long future for them --- that 'forever' that they never really could believe in back then, when their lives were always doomed, in more ways than one.  â deal, â  she says, her smile growing.  â i'm going to need the rest of our lives to really make up for seven years, anyway.  â
tai's head nods slowly back at her, almost wishing that mikayla would argue and hug her anyway, but they have to have some rules for themselves, at least temporarily.  â  yeah, i know, just--- don't get stuck in your own head about any of this, either, â  she says, more importantly,  because she knows how easy that must be too -- especially considering she's got a broken phone.  Â
â mikayla-- â  she murmurs, but she's too late, and she's already drawing on her wrist. tai rolls her eyes, because of course this is her solution --- quite the contrast to the business card she was ready to hand her, but maybe she's saved herself a typical look from mikayla anyway.  it's even more frustrated that she's endeared by this, too, even though she knows she'll have to immediately write down the letter and wash her wrist off before she has the dreaded talk with her fiancee later. â you're still a brat, â  she mumbles, but the smile starts to grow as she looks down and sees the heart, even if it can't stay there forever.  â i made you a promise. i will, â  she insists. she doesn't know when is the appropriate time to do that--- but she'll figure it out, because she knows she already let her down, and she doesn't want to ever again.Â
knowing that now does nothing to help her feel better â if anything, it's the opposite, because it's a reminder of how much time she wasted dwelling on her own fear. if she hadn't convinced herself she'd only get in the way, she would have went to look for her, and they would have been together again sooner, rather than waiting all this time and letting so much resentment build up instead. â i guess it doesn't matter anyway. it's not like i can go back and tell myself that. â if she could, she'd go back even further than that, all the way back to the night she got arrested, because if only she'd reached out then, they wouldn't have lost so much time. they wouldn't be hurting someone else for it, either, although mikayla hardly cares about that. â we'll talk about everything eventually. when i'm not too annoyed to. â because right now, she's too bitter to go into detail about any of it, since tai should have been there the entire time.
she doesn't have a plan, but maybe that's a good thing for them, because it means mikayla doesn't care about leaving what extremely little she has behind â her apartment in new york, her shitty job as a waitress at one of the only places willing to hire her, none of it is really an anchor for her. she almost wonders if she subconsciously never put in an effort for any more than that on purpose, as if she knew she'd just drop everything for tai anyway, so the less she cared, the better. â an hour after i found out. but yeah. â an hour, because she had to have her meltdown first, calm down enough to get herself ready, and then she finally left. â obviously you're part of my plan now. i don't know why you have to ask stupid questions, â she grumbles, biting back a comment about how mikayla didn't seem to be a part of her plans, up until today.
â i wouldn't know. everyone wants to kiss me. â she hopes that it reminds tai she's not the only one who's ever wanted her, that there have been other woman since her â none of them ever mattered to mikayla, only serving as placeholders because she couldn't have the one she actually wanted, but after seething with jealousy all day, mikayla doesn't want to be the only one bothered by everything happened in the seven years between. â like i said, you'll get to kiss me once all your other shit is dealt with. so hurry up. i've been waiting long enough. â
mikayla's not sure how tai could even think she could hate her, despite everything she did, so she doesn't fully understand the relief, because to her, it was never an option. it would have been easier, definitely, but it was impossible to hate the only good thing mikayla ever had, no matter how heartbroken tai left her in the end. â it didn't make loving you harder. â loving her had never taken any effort, because it came as naturally to her as breathing â trying not to was the hard part. there might have been a point in their life when mikayla would feel comfortable enough to say all of that, but she's too nervous to now, not wanting to come off as the one who cares too much, because she already feels that way. â i won't complain if you spend the rest of our lives trying to make it up to me, though. i'm more than okay with that. â because at least that means she'll be there.
the thought of leaving only fills mikayla with dread, because they'd already spent so long apart from each other, but she knows she has to. there's still a part of her that would rather stay and help her deal with everything she needs to deal with, but that's only because mikayla wouldn't take nearly as long â if it were up to her, the conversation would be entirely one-sided, because mikayla doesn't see the point in hearing what her fiancĂ©e thinks about it, but that's exactly why she should be leaving. â it shouldn't be a goodbye, because you're going to be with me again. â she says it more as a reminder to herself than to tai, like that's somehow supposed to make it any easier to leave. â but, yeah, hugging probably isn't a good idea. â she wants to, because her body aches to be close to hers again, but mikayla doesn't know if she'll have the willpower to pull away again if she does.
â probably not. i do stupid things all the time. â but she'll still try. not talking to misty won't take any effort, because mikayla's never wanted to do that, anyway, but outside of that, she'll try to be patient and wait for her, though she's not sure if she can promise she won't be consumed by her own thoughts again, because it'll feel too close to the beginning of her release, when she kept waiting for a call or a knock on the door that never came. this time will be different, because now, they actually know what the other wants, so hopefully reminding herself of that will help ease her doubts. before she can forget, she reaches into her pocket, pulling out her eyeliner, because that's the closest thing she has to a pen. mikayla grabs tai's wrist ignoring the urge to pull her closer to write her number down on her forearm instead, followed by a heart â which makes her inwardly cringe seconds later, because it feels childish, but it's too late. â you're going to call me this time. â
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Traitor
Pairing: Hardin Scott x reader, Hardin Scott x Molly
Request: Hey! Hardin Anon heređ„° would you ever consider doing something based on the song âTraitorâ by Olivia Rodrigo. Itâs like the reader and Hardin arenât something but they also arenât nothing either ?? But he gets caught with Molly or someone. Anonymous
Tagging: @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @shadowhuntyi @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @justyouraveragedorkygirl Let me know if you want to be added or removed.
A/N working through a horrible writer's block. I have zero motivation and I hate it. This is the first thing I've been able to write in a while đ©
You're not meant to be here right now. You know you're not meant to be here because Hardin is looking at you like you just grew a second head. At first glance, there's nothing inherently wrong with the scene in front of you. Hardin is getting a cup of coffee with a friend but you know. Truthfully, you've always known but seeing it makes it so much more real.
"Y/N," he says taking a step towards you but that only makes you back up. Every instinct is telling you to run away screaming but he still gets to take you home at the end of the night because you don't want to lose him.
"Why didn't you tell me you were hanging out with her today?" you ask once you're alone in his apartment.
"Because you always get so fucking paranoid whenever I talk to her. I didn't want to deal with your crap just because I'm hanging out with a friend." The absurdity of what he just said almost makes you laugh out loud. You've been seeing each other for months and all this time he's been seeing her behind your back. Maybe he truly hasn't done anything other than talk with her, but you feel the betrayal all the same.
"But she's not just a friend. Why can't you just admit that you don't want me anymore?" Your heart is breaking. You can actively feel it breaking at this very moment as you're looking over at the boy you fell in love with so long ago.
"I do want you. I've always wanted you." The words cling hallow as you look into those eyes and see nothing of the love you once thought you saw. The illusion has been ripped away and now you're standing in this mess that he created by stringing you along.
"God, I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you." No time is wasted as you grab your things and hurry out. Hardin doesn't stop you and with every step you take away from him, your heart cracks a little more. By the time you get home, it's completely shattered. And the worst part is how he doesn't even feel sorry for how he hurt you. It's painfully clear when he starts dating her just two weeks after you call it quits. It makes you wonder if he ever truly cared about you because two weeks later and you're still sobbing over him. There's no way you'd ever feel ready to love someone else so quickly, so you don't understand how he's moved on so quickly. You've turned into a complete mess over a boy who never even bothered to define your relationship. You feel absolutely pathetic when you open the door and see Tessa after two weeks in complete isolation
"You look rough," she says with a smile inching past you. It's the two-week mark and it's come way too soon.
"No more moping. We have school today," Tessa states already rummaging through your closet to find clothes - probably something that isn't just another set of pj's.
"I don't feel like going."
"That's not the deal though. Two weeks of moping and then we pull the other out of the dump." She throws some clothes on the bed and gets the shower running. Right now, you hate just how effective she's being but it does the trick though. You get a shower, you put fresh clothes on and you go to campus. If nothing else then to shut up Tessa.
"I know we're not going to mention his name but he's an idiot and if you see him today just know that he's never going to find someone as good as you." Ironically, this is the exact moment he walks around the corner with her hanging onto him as some stupid accessory.
"Looks like he already has," you mumble feeling the tears sting but you refuse to cry. This is what you need to see. Maybe he didn't cheat on you but he's still a traitor, and you need to see this to get over him.
"He's a complete jerk prancing around with her like that," Tessa snorts but you're too busy watching him watch you. He knows exactly what he's doing almost holding her like some trophy. He wants you to know that you never really mattered much to him in the first place. And it kills you to think of everything you went through only for you to end up like this. Standing in separate corners of the courtyard watching each other like you've become strangers to one another.
"Let's go inside," you mumble. You can't stand to look at them for even a second longer.
God, I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.
#hardin scott x reader#hardin scott x molly#hardin x molly#hardin scott gif#hardin scott#after movie#tessa young#after we collided#after we fell#after imagine#after gif#after#awc blurb#awc#awf#hardin scott blurb
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Sarahi has cried a lot during her days in hiding.
And everytime she had sobbed, Rakepick had asked, while poorly masking her panic, what was wrong, or what she had done this time.
Sarahi's answers confused her at first. She had responded that nothing was wrong, and she was much happier in hiding than she was expecting to be.
But why the tears then, Rakepick asked.
Sarahi said that she'd held her tears back for a long time. It felt good to finally be safe enough to let them out.
Rakepick thought about it every time she'd come across Sarahi sobbing, while desperately clinging to Sickleworth. The Niffler always seemed just as confused as his owner, but wanted to be a comforting presence regardless. Rakepick knows she's welcome to sit next to Sarahi, to be a comforting presence as well (Sarahi had often asked, after all), and sometimes she would do so.
Not today. Today she had far too many thoughts.
Rakepick thinks back to what Sarahi has told her, about being forced to hold your feelings back. She's familiar with that.
She's glad she can offer Sarahi the comfort of having a safe haven where she can finally let it out.
The selfish part of her wonders if she would ever get that chance before her eventual death.
Her selfishness is fleeting now. Now that she has already resigned to her fate. So her thoughts go back to the child.
Rakepick wonders how long Sarahi had truly felt forced to leash her feelings. It couldn't have been easy, she thinks. Sarahi is an emotional child, and though she has grown throughout the years, she still feels too much, and that hasn't changed. Too much love, too much pain, too much anger.
Crying is comforting, and so she wonders how long Sarahi had to steel herself to stop tears. Back in the days of being a Professor at the High Table, she would notice her behaviors. She now knows why Sarahi wouldn't eat at dinner unless constantly prodded, and would instead just tug on her shirt, robe, hair, or anything that was even slightly loose.
Sarahi was a surprisingly joyful child, regardless of her circumstances. So much joy and love that she had no qualms with sharing. Rakepick had only seen tears in her eyes twice, and had been the cause for both of them.
The first time was when trying to teach Sarahi the Cruciatus Curse. Looking back, trying to teach a child as innocent as her the Cruciatus Curse was a bad idea to begin with. But she didn't know that it upset Sarahi, not because of how horrible the curse was, but because it dug up old traumas she had tried to forget about for a long time. Rakepick would later realise that Sarahi had been under the Cruciatus Curse in the past, and that was from her own mother.
Rakepick knew she was just as bad, if not worse than Sarahi's mother. It wouldn't stop her from resenting June Silvers for the rest of eternity.
The second time, in the Portrait Vault. Sarahi had been happy only seconds ago, and just before she had knocked down her students, the child was cheerfully turning towards her protector, her professor, to ask if she'd be coming inside.
Alas, Sarahi never got the chance to share that joy.
Rakepick revealed her betrayal and how her students were tools, and she didn't know at the time whether she was speaking the truth or lying. She had loved them, but her fear of R kept her from acting on it.
But Sarahi did not read between the lines. She never did. She took her Professor's words at face value. And so when she revealed her intentions and her alignment, Sarahi had silently cried.
Tearfully she asked her Professor - "What did I do wrong?"
"Absolutely nothing." Rakepick answered mentally. Maybe she should have said it out loud.
#have my incomplete bs writings#I love writing stuff no thoughts head empty#i wanna share all this random stuff because im never gonna finish it#the day i finish anything imma get a noisemaker#most stuff is rakepick stuff because what do you people expect from me#hphm#hogwarts mystery#harry potter hogwarts mystery#sarahi silvers#patricia rakepick#hogwarts mystery mc#hphm mc#hphm rakepick#hphm year 7#does anyone even follow the game story at this point?#jam city gives us utter nonsense#I think i have more drafts like this that im never gonna do anything with-#yes the grammar ad wording is probably shit#look i wrote this when I was sad and bored in class#college is shit and I cry a lot#random writings
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Since you are a fellow Stephen's fan, may I ask what do you think of his first movie? I personally think it's in my top 5 of MCU and loves his character development. Also love the way he and Christine interacted, as he realized his mistakes, apologized, and remained friends with her. In some movies, all mistakes of the "heroes" were brushed off and they made out in the end but not here.
Oh yes, that's definitely one of my favourite things about the movie. DS1 is definitely in my Top 5 as well, I love pretty much everything and his character development is fantastic. This got super long so more after the cut.
I think they handled his arrogance and pride pretty well in the beginning, but even before the crash he was still showing signs of kindness mainly to Christine but to his coworkers as well. It seemed to me that as long as he wasn't feeling threatened he was a nice person to have around - a little full of himself but not too bad. It's when he felt the need to show off or when he saw a chance to position himself above someone else (like Nico) he did so, in some cases rudely and unnecessarily, but I'm glad they also took the time to show the audience there's was a lot more to him that just that.
I love the scene of Christine in his flat after the crash. She's suffering because she sees him in pain but once Stephen treats her horribly she leaves, and you have no idea how much I love that! Yeah he must have been in pain but that doesn't mean Christine has to put up with that mistreatment and the cruelness, so she leaves and doesn't go back to him at all. I really liked that.
Then the moment when he goes to talk to Pangborn is also one of my favourites because he's faced with a man he could have helped in the past but chose not to and Stephen has no qualms in showing him his hands and his vulnerability. Sure he's trying to guilt-trip him into helping him but for a man who's so proud (and this is before Kamar-Taj, he hasn't been through that learning process yet) that simple gesture is quite big.
So he leaves for Kamar-Taj and he's very "Western" about it, I love that the Ancient One keeps calling him Mister but he doesn't correct her (he does correct Kaecilius though, that's fun), his dynamic with Mordo and Wong is fantastic and even though he questions his teachers he shows a great deal of respect for what he's learning which is refreshing to see.
Another scene I love is when he has to kill one of the zealots in self-defense and his breakdown after he's done so. I really liked it because usually heroes kill and forget about it but for Stephen is a huge deal as he became a doctor to save lives (and with every life saved he feels he's sort of 'saving' Donna as well) and I headcanon that part of that shock after he murdered him is that he felt the guilt all over again and it almost breaks him - if I must have a nitpick about the movie is that it doesn't refer to that at all, they should have mentioned it at least.
Oh and I love that he's such a diva with the cloak. And funny too! Plus his vast music knowledge is very endearing.
And one of the best things about the movie is when he's hurt and he returns to the hospital asking for Christine. She rushes to help as the great doctor that she is but she doesn't address anything else until Stephen apologizes to her, and he doesn't get mad at her for not answering back, he doesn't try to justify his actions or his words, he takes full responsibility... and in the end they realize they love each other very much but they're better off as friends. We don't see many platonic relationships in movies and this one has to be one of my favourites: they love each other, they care about each other but they realize they don't work well as a couple so they stay as friends because friendship is no lesser than romance (I'm truly concerned MoM is going to ruin this part though).
Oh my, this is getting real long, isn't it? In short, I love his relationship with the Ancient One, their scene together before she dies is wonderful ("this isn't about you" is the greatest lesson for him and he learns it, oh he really does!), I love that he understands that sometimes in order to do the right thing you have to disobey certain rules, even those you have set yourself, it's a shame that Mordo didn't stay because I really enjoyed them as friends, I love Wong with all my heart and the cloak is awesome. And the magic is beautiful, the visuals were something else, Stephen's robes are the most beautiful in the MCU and the Sanctum is stunning.
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@lambsonburn I will do my best here o7 (this will be a long response LOL)
Ill start with Nico; I find the way she sees Dante quite interesting. Its clear she idolizes him, sees him as an almost celebrity figure, when in reality Dante is justâŠ. not that, lmao. It makes me wonder just how high of a pedestal she's put him on. How much is she willing to ignore or excuse to keep her perfect, idealized version of him in her head from being shattered? Dante hasn't done much to be unredeemable, he's a pretty good guy all things considered, but i think if she ever learnt of him "killing" Vergil it might put a damper on things. Or maybe, if she ever saw Dante when he was truly pissed off, when he's in the zone of smashing demons to an unrecognizable paste or whatever. Or even, what if the version she has of Dante in her head just doesn't live up to reality? I don't think she'd ever hate him or anything, but yeah.
I also love her dynamic with Nero, they act like annoying siblings to each other in my eyes and it makes me smile hehe. I like to think she was a lot more scared than she let on when Nero got his arm ripped off, in DMC 5 she sounds pretty indifferent, but we also don't see her reaction in that scene. I imagine whenever Kyrie was too busy to be with him while he was recovering, Nico was there even if all she was doing was sitting nearby doing her own thing. She will never admit this of course, and denies it with her whole being when Kyrie brings it up (she things its cute).
Also, the whole "Nico has a fat crush on Kyrie" concept is canon to me capcom told me themselves /j. I think she also has a bit of a crush on Lady, but that's more or less just appreciating a good looking woman when she sees one than anything else.
I personally wish capcom showed more of Agnus in her character. In one of the novels (Before The Nightmare i think?) its shown she had a stutter as a child. I wish they kept it in DMC 5, even if it was just a little bit. Would have made her connection to Agnus a little clearer too (the only way you'd know Agnus was her dad was if you've read before the nightmare, its not stated anywhere in DMC 5 or even vaugely mentioned. All that's said is "How does it feel to be rescuing the guy who killed your father?" from Nero, and Nico's response is "He left my mother and i for dead, so i feel nothing." Its not a plot-breaking thing or anything, im just pedantic lol.) I do think her being so interested in researching demons and passionate about her work is a nice nod to Agnus tho, who was much the same.
She strikes me as somebody who has a very optimistic outlook on life, she finds a way to get through any situation she finds herself in and a reason to remain hopeful and positive too. She has her moments of course, we all do, but yeah.
Lady now: I wish we got a better look at how she's dealt with the whole Arkham situation. In TAS, she comes across as quite agrressive and bossy. To me that reads more of a reaction to everything she's been through rather than her genuinely acting that way because she doesn't like people. I also believe she doesn't actually care about Dante's debt as much as she makes it seem she does. She does eventually want him to pay back what he's borrowed, but i don't really think it matters to her how long it takes. Personally, i think she uses the debt as an excuse to visit him and see how he's doing, to check in on him and make sure he's hasn't kicked the bucket it.
She cares about Dante much more than she lets on, but for one reason or another she's just hesitant to show it. Maybe she's scared he'll end up another Arkham, that he'll take advantage of her vulnerability for something horrible.
Speaking of Arkham, that motherfucker must have messed her up so much. The only time he ever showed her "affection" in DMC 3 was to try and manipulate her into joining him. The only times he ever calls her his daughter is to manipulate her. Every other time, its just "that woman" or her old name. What makes this hurt even more, is that there was still that small part of her which wanted to believe he was capable of changing and becoming good again. (She believed him when he said Vergil was the one manipulating him, and she asked Dante to "save her father". Even after everything, there was still that tiny sliver of her that believed deep down Arkham was still her father. That tiny sliver died i think when he tried to excuse murdering Kalina Ann.)
She has a pessimistic view on life, i think. She's just surviving day by day, that's it. Not living, just surviving. She has friends sure, but she's also alone majority of the time. She's a tough woman who's been through a LOT, and she's keeping a lot bottled up inside that i think she deserves to scream and cry and let out in an ugly, glorious explosion.
LadyTrish is also canon to me. They're girlfriends, and you cannot convince me otherwise.
Their dynamic i think would start out experimental. Trish wanting to try out these kinds of romantic and maybe sexual things because she's a demon and wants to know what its like to experience them the way a human does. Lady maybe doing it because she wants to feel something, she wants to try something new and if she likes it, then maybe she'll keep doing it. And if she doesn't, then well, she'll stop. They get to know each other better through going on hunts together. Its messy and a bit awkward at first, but they eventually work things out.
Now Trish: I find her character to be fascinating. I made a whole post about her once, but her relationship to Eva is one that i like exploring, and that alongside her relationship with somebody like Dante or Vergil.
How much of Eva did Mundus clone to make her? Was it just looks, or was it personality too? Blue eyed and blonde haired women aren't exactly rare, so its safe to say Dante has encountered people who look similar to his mother at least to some degree before he met Trish. But Trish is so perfectly identical that Dante didn't even do a double take, instantly as soon as he saw her face properly, he saw his mother instead of Trish.
I wonder how she feels about the whole ordeal. It must get uncomfortable for her sometimes, knowing she's so close to something Dante wants so badly but she just isnt. She's not Eva, she never will be Eva, but she looks the same and sounds the same. How does she feel whenever he's staring at the photo of Eva?
I feel like she compensates with all of this with her appearance and personality. She's almost aloof at times, but she's not oblivious. She seems very observant actually. She dresses quite provocatively at times (cough gloria cough, also gloria is so fucking funny to me. iirc, she dressed like that to take the piss out of the Order, pretty much) and while normally i dont like when characters are just designed to be fanservice, i feel it works in Trish's case. She's giving herself her own unique identity that's very clearly meant to be different from Eva, who is a much more gentle and modest woman. She's carving out and defining her own place in the world by force, and she's slaying while doing so.
I think she has a very curious view about the world around her. Being a demon, she likely has a lot to learn and has learnt a lot about humanity and the various different customs and ettiquite they have. She's always willing to learn and experiment with stuff, but at the same time she knows she's not human. She's not trying to be, really.
Hi :D Does anybody have any DMC related questions? i want to get back into posting about it here, but i have no clue on what to yap about oof.
#i will probably yap about Kyrie and Lucia seperately#dmc#devil may cry#the herb speaks#lady devil may cry#trish devil may cry#nico devil may cry#again i hope my ramblings make sense pffff
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so hi, this ask might be worded bad because it's late and i'm tired but. my parents were constantly fighting. my dad was very physically abusive to my mom, i can't remember any of my childhood except for small snippets. and i still have to live with my mom, who i think is emotionally abusive. sometimes i wish i was old enough to move out already (i almost am, just a bit longer thankfully) because i can't stand being around her and then other times she'll do something nice and i'll feel guilty and wonder if maybe it's not that bad and i'm just blowing fights out of proportion. she's told me she wishes i was never born and has told me to go die two times, and that her life was so much better before i was born. but then she'll tell me she loves me and that she doesn't mean any of it. she used to hit me but hasn't done so in months. i'm also autistic and have to mask my symptoms constantly or else she'll get mad, and i'm also schizophrenic and she says my hallucinations "scare" her and she's started calling me crazy. she'll start fights and then say it's my fault. but she's not like this most of the time and i just don't know what to think anymore. do you have any advice? is my mom abusive?
Hey anon,
I'm so sorry you're going through this. What you've described sounds awful, and I promise you that none of it is your fault. You deserve better than this and I'm so sorry you aren't getting it.
Based off your description, I would agree; I definitely think your mom is emotionally abusive. She's put you in a position where you need to hide the symptoms of your neurodivergence--a lot of abuse survivors felt like they were "walking on eggshells" around their abuser in order to keep the peace, so to speak, and this sounds a lot like that to me. No one should be put in that position; it's horrible and ableist and you don't deserve any of it. She's also gaslighting you by blaming you for fights she started and by telling you she doesn't mean anything she's said--even if she truly doesn't mean what she's told you, she's still saying it, and explaining that she doesn't mean it doesn't detract from that. It's manipulative and awful and she needs to work on not saying what she does in the first place, not promising you she didn't mean it after the fact.
I think the clearest sign that your mother is abusive to me is the fact that you think she might be. Abuse victims, as a general rule, don't want to believe that they have been or are being abused, especially by the people they love--this is part of the reason why so many people will make excuses for their abusers or will overlook harmful behaviors. If there's enough of these behaviors that you think it might be abuse, therefore, it's quite likely that it is (this isn't true in every case, but I strongly believe it is in this one).
It's important that you remember people can be abusive and still do nice things from time to time; it might be because they feel some (I'd assume temporary) remorse for their actions, because they genuinely do love their victim, or for any other reason. This doesn't change the fact that they're abusive, and it doesn't change what they've done to you in the past. If your brain is anything like mine, knowing this won't change the fact that you still question it, but it's still incredibly important to remember.
It sounds like your best course of action is to wait until you can move away from your mother. For now, a good option might be therapy--if your mother won't let you, it might be a good idea to hint that it would help with your schizophrenia. I hate to suggest that, but it seems like what would be most likely to get her to allow you to go, and ultimately that's what's the most important. You might also consider keeping a journal where you can write about what your mother does to you--that way, you'll have proof when you're questioning your abuse, as well as a way to express it.
I really hope this helps, anon. Please feel free to send in another ask if there's anything else we can do for you; we want to be here for you.
Stay safe,
Mod Henrie
#mod henrie#trauma talks#ask#answered#anon#tw abuse#tw ableism#tw suicide baiting#tw suibaiting#tw suicide#(I might have overtagged that a bit but just to be safe)#trauma
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The fuss around chapter 130.
I saw that people are going with three possibilites for historia.
She got pregnant with eren.
She got pregnant with the farmer.
The pregnancy is fake.
Before I dive in, I would like to say that I am writing this post to address concerns that I have surrounding the pregnancy and not about historia as a character. I don't know her intentions or thoughts on the matter. As an advocate of eremika, this post is to help me and possibly others like me to know that if eren were to be with anyone, it would only be mikasa and even then there's no happy ending.
1. She got pregnant with eren.
First, let's assume she did. If so then why? For love? No. They never talk about feelings for each other. No one has ever teased them about each other, as the narrative has been constantly doing with both eren and mikasa. Eren and historia have a connection, an understanding based on their past. It's friendship, more like what eren shared with armin (when they both wanted to see the ocean) but later on, their dreams changed, hence their friendship changed too.
Let's assume now it was for love. What did it accomplish? Eren wanted to exterminate all life outside paradise prior to meeting historia and he is still following on the same path. So, nothing has changed! It serves no purpose.
Eren said he can't respond to mikasa's feelings because he will die soon. He didn't say " it's not like that or anything. Instead his response was, is there even a point? I will die soon, so I want them to continue living peacefully.
Why would he bring a child with historia who was portrayed in a romantic light with ymir? What purpose would it accomplish? It would literally be aganist what he wanted for historia and his loved ones.
Why did eren go to see historia in first place? Because he just wanted to see her out of love? No. He went to warn her about the MP's. To protect her. To tell her to stay quite until he accomplishes his plan.
Is it odd for eren to protect people? Nope. He couldn't even bring himself to hurt annie, so why in the world would he not want to protect historia.
The awkward panel positioning in my opinion was done deliberately to cast confusion. But when has isayama not done that? He had mikasa acting jealous towards annie and questioning eren about it, which led people to believe eren had romantic feelings for annie, and eren couldn't even understand what mikasa was implying. More so, even very later on in the story, eren was still portrayed as clueless about romance (104th and marcoĂhitch). So, clearly he never had romantic feelings for annie.
Also, sidenote ever since the idea of eren being possibly aware of romance was introduced in the story, it has always been in connection with Mikasa.
When they meet what do they talk about? Historia is grateful for eren's protection but what is eren fixated on ? Protecting historia, ridding the world of hatred, ending cycle of breeding and scarificing royals.
Does eren tell her anything he hasn't already told someone like floch? Eren didn't tell historia about his plan, because she is special to him (she is special no doubt, all his friends are). Eren told historia to protect her, but also because she could have been the only hurdle in his plan. The people who are special to eren never knew what eren was doing because he couldn't burden them with this gruesome decision. For the people who are special to him, he wants to make the world a safer place, so they can continue living peacefully. His words not mine.
Not saying cause of that historia is not special to him, she is, but because of her position as a royal she poses a threat to his plan. He had to burden her with the knowledge of his plan to both protect her and ensure he gets to do what he has always wanted to do. He wanted to ask her to stay quite until he is done.
Not even once in eren's memories, there has been an image of a tender moment with historia. Basically if he was the father, there will be something special about her or, kruger would have mentioned her name too. She wouldn't have been absent from the story for so long, like there would have been something to suggest otherwise? A tender moment like eren staring at young him wrapping scarf around mikasa. Why did eren tell mikasa he hates her? Why be so harsh to her? What are you so afraid of eren? That she might get hurt? That she might follow you to your death?
2. She got pregnant with the farmer.
I think this is the most likely scenario. A friend shared a twitter post with me by the user, eren 130 mute, and this đ aligns with my thoughts about the situation quite well.
Pregnancy with the farmer, showcases how distraughting her situation is. It is not be romanticized. Her situation is sad and desperate. They are truly talking about eradicting all humans outside paradise. It is a sad and horrible situation as is portrayed by both eren's expression and her's. Right after eren tells her about his plan, she becones distressed and ever since he annouced his plan to her, she has been wearing that gloomy expression.
3. She is faking the pregnancy
I don't think that's plausible. If the pregnancy was fake, firstly when Nile talks about it, historia wouldn't be shown sad in it. According to nile, queen can choose her own partner,so there's no reason for her to look so depressed in his imagination. His words don't correspond with the imagery that's shown. Why does she look depressed then? Because it is actually her real situation. She is truly not okay with this all.
Secondly, if the MP's are planning to feed zeke to her, won't they make sure in ever possible way that she is pregnant or not?
Faking the pregnancy sounds good in theory but it also doesn't serve any purpose. If faking the pregnancy was an actual thing, we could have never been shown historia, not given an explanation on who the father is. Instead we got all of that, what we didn't get is why she got pregnant? This chapter it seems like when eren reminded her of the time she saved him by being the worst girl, she proposes to have a baby. Why did she do it will become obvious when we get her pov.
And isn't this her?
Fake bump again?
Are we talking about snk or a soap opera?
And in snk, everyone is currently distraught and placed in horrifying situations, so why would historia be spared? Why would eren be spared? Mikasa, armin, jean, connie, hange, levi, annie, pieck, reiner, gabi and falco are all suffering. Why would these two be exempt of it?
Why would there be a happy ending for people collaborating on genocide? (Idk what historia's motives are as she did protest aganist the idea, but later dropped the resistance, refused to contact the survey corps or anyone about it just like eren asked? I know there's an explanation for it when we get her pov but I hope it's a good explanation). So, granted the confusion and lack of historia's pov, for now let's consider only eren and floch as supporters of genocide. I will go with my gut and say that she was probably trying to stop eren in her own way, like some plan she had? Clearly and sadly it didn't work.
What kind of message would isayama be sending then? If someone who is commiting genocide gets a happy ending, what would be the message of this story then? He is not just commiting genocide, but along the way hurting people who have always been there for him.
Let's see if official translation changes anything.
Thank you for reading.
Edited: I would also like to add that the odd panel positioning might be isayama being his usual trolling self. For instance, with chapter 112, he introduced the idea of ackerbond and same chapter showed mikasa slamming armin, due to which there was widespread belief that mikasa is not free and indeed eren hates her. (That was partially addressed this chapter. Again not completely, because it has to be left for EM meeting. It has to be handled gradually, because if eren is suddenly and directly shown to feel love for mikasa, it won't feel natural. There has to be some drama and mystery left, otherwise people lose interest).
Mikasa slamming armin on the table was meant to throw us off, it was meant to create confusion. It consolidated the views of people who were already looking a reason to discredit eren and mikasa's bond. Isayama did that on purpose, to throw us for a loop. It had people debating for so long that mikasa really does protect him due to some bond.
We are not supposed to go off based on one cherry-picked moment. We have to go back and see what the character's are about, where they are they headed, how consistent and inconsistent the information is, what the story has told us so far and where it's going..
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I always agree with your ASOIAF analysis but I do think you are giving GRRM a bit too much credit when it comes to sexualisation of young girls.
He defended the Dany Drogo dynamic in the books and though that scene was not as gratuitous as the show, it was still consent under extreme coercion which is messed up. He was pissed how the show filmed it and said that in the books it was more of a seduction. He also referred to Dany as a hot 13 yr old chick riding a dragon when asked about how he gets into the mind of characters while writing them .With Sansa, there is that Unkiss . I think it is Sansa rewriting her memory because of the assault but maybe Grrm thinks she is an unreliable narrator and is somehow denying her attraction towards Hound đ€ą. We don't know how that dynamic is going to occur in the books and though I think GRRM might not write anything romantic between them , I would still not put it past him. He is obsessed with the whole archetype of kind girl fixing the broken man ( see Jaime x Brienne) .
Most of these young girls like Sansa and Dany are psychologically scarred ( if only GRRM sees it as a problem). I agree with you that that Dany might never address Drogo as her abuser but I don't think it as a tragedy because from GRRM's comments it seems he doesn't perceive the dynamic as gross so why to paint her refusal to address the problematic dynamic as tragedy.
Now, do you think in the books will Sansa ever address the Hound in case they meet about how he had forced himself on her ? Will she ever acknowledge how that episode had scarred her psychologically ? Will she ever address the fact that just because Arys Oakheart beat her lightly than other Kingsguard that doesn't mean he gets brownie points ? Now even if the Hound dies, but if she never acknowledges in her POV about how this guy came to her room drunk as a predator, then I am not sure how the author views these kind of scenes. Now obviously the story hasn't reached that point but what are your speculations about it ?
Last but not least, the only female protagonist in ASOIAF that calls out abuse ( marital rape ) and acknowledges how she was defiled and used as cattle is Cersei Lannister and in canon she is written as a villain and not a hero.
I really donât take GRRM quotes very seriously because this is a series that has been ongoing for decades and Iâm sure heâs said everything about everything at some point, but if you truly believe that heâs just writing this because he thinks insanely young women are hot, why did he write them to be that insanely young? Like, frankly, if they were all 15 years or older it would still be just as creepy but it would be much easier for people to hand-wave it away. Itâs horrifying that people DO still hand-wave it away, but if he thinks that 12 and 13-year-old girls having sex with adult men is super, why does he write it as being so traumatizing? If youâre saying that making them that young isnât designed to point out how fucked up it is then WHAT IS THE POINT OF IT THEN?Â
Maybe Iâm just wildly delusional but I donât understand why exactly a writer would have to explicitly say within the text âadult men having sex with 12-year-olds is badâ when he ALREADY portrays it as extremely traumatic. He doesnât think Danyâs relationship with Drogo is problematic, but he wrote her considering suicide because it was so awful? I just donât understand this interpretation because I feel like WHAT ELSE needs to be done in the narrative to explain that this is horrible and everyone should be repulsed and horrified by it? If this is supposed to be some grand child molester fantasy then why is it so gross and why does it only lead to terrible things? I mean, if GRRM thought that this was all cool then why is it only TERRIBLE MALE CHARACTERS who do this? Why wasnât Brandon married to and boning Cat when she was 12? Why didnât Ned marry off Sansa to Joffrey immediately? If GRRM is pro-fictional child rape then why is there not one thing in the story to actually back up that itâs not a terrible thing done only by terrible people? I really just do not get this perspective at all.
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Broken Bones And New Homes
Clark has a surprise and you fuck up.
Masterlist
Warnings:swearing, injury, angst
A/n:so a little bit of fluff and angstÂ
Broken Bones And New Homes
Clark sat back in his chair as Diana took the young girl to get settled and was fixed with a look from the others he sighed.
"She was still doubting herself she needed to see it for herself" Bruce spoke up first unimpressed.
"Yes but it could have gone down hill fast! What if it had pierced you! She'd never have forgiven herself or trusted anyone again!" Clark sighed he knew that Bruce had a point.
"But there was also another reason I was testing her as well like she did to you earlier ...did you see? She was holding back, even when she was angry she found the power to hold it back she didn't want to hurt me not for a second she just wanted to scare me...shes used to scaring people off. I wanted to see if she was truly wants to harm or not anger reveals your true intentions shes good through and through..." Arthur nodded
"He is right Bruce she held back it wasn't nice to watch but the kid did good tho... it was unnerving to watch her have that much restraint ....aren't teens meant to you know? loose their shit she held it together." Bruce nodded it was horrible in a way seeing the control she needed for herself Clark was right she'd had to grow up fast just like them but unlike them she will have someone there for her question was who, tho he had a guess already.
"So whose gonna take her Legally?"
"I will she needs stability, normality but still someone who can keep her in line can you get the paperwork done?" Bruce nodded smirking at Clark, looks like he was taken with the girl in a way they all were Bruce would take her in in a heart beat but with the others it wouldn't be a good idea so this time he will settle for being an uncle, doesnât mean he cant tease the big man tho? Does it
"Your sure your not even letting anyone else what if I want to-"
"No I'm taking her, she will fit right in at home with me and konner, he has always wanted a sister to look after we can give her a family that she can relax around no offence Bruce but if anything would happen at the manor, your boys are strong but...." Bruce waved him off laughing
"I was messing with you,I know what you mean I will get on it first thing" Clark rolled his eyes at him, Victor pulled up her file on the screen.
"Whoa, her file is .....large shes been through.... to much I don't know haw shes so....stable Clark your gonna have your work cut out for you... how she hasn't already gone mad is beyond me." Barry came closer frowning
"She has a police record?" Victor nodded sadly scanning through the data quickly Clark got up coming over to them
"You found her file? When?" Victor didn't bother looking up at him just pointing to Barry
"He took her bag to her room when you had your little heart to heart and got her name y/n l/n birthday April seventh, born in central city moved to Gotham with her parents at six months old... Clark shes been through a lot its..."
"Tell me I want to know what happened." Victor side and continued
"Thereâs nothing until she was five when her parents died...police report says parents were only identified by dna because....."
"Because what?" Victor looked down then to Arthur everyone was tense suddenly Diana came into the room hear most of it so far she can gather whats they are on about.
"Bodies crushed beyond recognition, no teeth remaining for a dental record to be found, official cause of death was crushed by ceiling, flats collapsed due to breech in building regulations, no one was charged for it. Child found in flat had resided by parents bodies for three days before being found, no one knows how she survived but she was unharmed and thought the police were there to arrest her, she was under the impression she did it."
"She must have tried to save them and failed...that why she was frightened of the police" Clark summarized victor nodded
"Thatâs what she said in her report that she did it she couldn't stop the ceiling, after that there is nothing on the incident apart from information about the therapy she should under go and where they sent her. Children's home north Gotham on Presington street." Bruce swore
"Fucking hell that's a shit hole, been pouring money into it for years they were pocketing it as bonuses only went down for it three years ago two deaths to malnutrition" everyone winced things did not look good
"The next eight entries are from the weeks after, mental evaluations, says here she started hurting other kids in the home lashing out and became aggressive to staff, she claimed they were accidents that she couldn't help it that she had powers, they didn't listen until one kid ended up missing an eye... can understand it looks like a vicious attack"
"Probably bullying, it happens a lot to the new kids, if they attacked her then it'd protect her right?" Victor nodded to Bruce and sighed moving on
"They certified her had to drug her to get her out of the home, Jesus Christ they put her in a mental unit in Gotham general child's psych ward inpatient  where she stayed under various levels of sedation for a majority of her time there until being released at ten years old showing no signs of instability or any indication she was a danger to herself and others a successful case. By law she couldn't return to the group home so she was fostered between then and a year ago shes had foster homes all across Gotham. Then a year ago she was on a trip with school doing a big beach clean up, it was a campaign the school was behind to help clean up the oceans? they kids were going to protest at Washington....never made it tho...it was when the atlanteans threw out the trash, oil tanker landed on her class's camp sight, two survived her and her student teacher....he said she had held it for around two minuets but most of the others were to scared to move the ones that did couldn't get out of the way and she passed out and well you can guess the rest.... no one believed him when he told them what he'd seen....he killed himself four days later. Since then its been petty thievery and some assaults, shes beaten up a few known drug dealers and gang members.... The police reports are mostly about injuries from dragging her back to foster homes three in the past year, seventeen in the past six, it was more frequent when she was younger, she under goes psychological evaluations once a year to see if her 'schizophrenia' is coming back. But that it" Diana covered her eyes rubbing the bridge of her nose shaking her head at the humans stupidity.
"So they told her she's mad? For four nearly five years they locked her away? made her believe she was crazy? And drugged her" She leaned back feeling sorry for the girl she'd been put into a brutal system at the most devastating time in her life, shed had to deal with it alone. Bruce sighed he knew Gotham wasn't the best place for an orphan... but that seemed harsh even to his standards.
"She hid it to seem normal, so she could get out of the hospital no wonder she so guarded she had to outsmart Drs and psychiatrists when she was a child" everyone spoke apart from Arthur he sat there fists clenched seething."Arthur! what happened you couldn't have known" he growled he knew that, there wasn't anything he could so but still it irked him knowing that it had happened, that shed tried to save her class mates from his people-his brother and hadn't been able to.
"I know....I know that but that is what triggered all this again isnât it? Thatâs what made it come back stronger and now she cant control it? The reason shes been on the streets...And I was here laughing and jokeing around with her? When she knew it was me-my people who did that? How she didn't fuck me up right away I donât know cos if it was the other way around I would have" Barry sighed before speaking quietly.
"Well doesn't that show she doesn't blame you? I mean we all knew that something big happened so I donât think she blames you... she had every chance to blow up at you about it when she explained a little herself but she didn't..I wouldn't worry." Clark nodded agreeing with Barry then continued.
"Be there for her now, if she wants to talk she will.." Arthur nodded letting out an angry breath that was all he could do now, be there for her.
"Clark could you go check she's in bed I gave her half an hour to have a shower and be in bed by" he nodded hearing the others all start making their way to their rooms deciding to call it a night. He slowed opening the door poking his head in he smiled seeing you curled up in the blankets not asleep yet but near enough he quickly shut the door. He was determined to become the father you needed he would talk to Konner tomorrow about it, he would be happy having a little sister but Clark would have to explain to his son what was going on with her before introducing them...And his mom he will need her help.
"AAHHH!" You screamed bloody murder when there was a excruciating crunch then you slammed into the floor, tho it was softer then it should have been your head struck it hard with a bone cracking force, you groaned laying there sobbing and gasping as your arm head and ribs were in agony, seeing blood, you cried harder heaving and  panicking when your vision went fuzzy then heard the door be all but ripped off its hinges and saw someone you didnât recognize, he looked around a year or so older then you black hair, blue eyes. He kneeled beside you then looked up inspecting your arm wincing there was bone....
You woke up stretching and yawning it had been three weeks since you got here...and things were pretty sweet, you had a comfy bed free reign of the kitchen and a private bathroom. You hadn't really trained with the others yet just a few practice sessions that ended reasonably well most of the time you'd read, using various books to help you understand what was possible then sort of felt your way about the place and kept to yourself as much as you could which wasn't much as you found they all wanted you to feel welcome....It was hard not to become close but you kept saying to yourself it was temporary despite what Diana had said Clark hasn't been near you since the first night, only popping in briefly then off again for days on end it didn't give you much hope for the future.
But you assumed by now they all knew the story so you cant blame them, no one wants to be around a mad meta-human so its understandable...not that your mad at least you didn't think you were just gifted and confused. You quickly threw your hair up out of the way ignoring your thoughts, youâd rather not fall into that little debate again for now, wanting to just get your powers under control and get out of here before you get to attached. Taking your current architecture book, this you was using to find different types of structural systems which is the strongest and most reliable ect and made your way to the training room, today you were testing something out...A theory you'd been working on basically you wanted to make some stairs see how many things you could hold at once.
You opened the door to the room youâd been working in. It was tall and must be about ten meters across each way not the biggest in the watchtower but it was enough for you. You placed the book at the door open on a page depicting floating stairs. It should be easy just platforms from the walls big enough to step on you flared your power feeling your way around then took a deep breath to the side stretching out a hand to the wall, metal with concrete behind it, you started moving one foot up pulling a platform from the wall then another above this continued until you was a fair height you opened your eyes looking down youâd made it half way up the tall room you smiled it had worked!
You jumped for joy then moved faster paying less attention trying to force it on auto pilot climbing higher you faltered a little the next step was a little uneven, it looked tilted and .....iffy you gulped looking down only now realizing just how high your were you slumped back against the wall a little nervous, maybe you should have had someone in here with you but hindsight was 20/20 staying still for a few moments you took deep breaths collecting yourself, that was enough you thought you turned placing both hands on the wall completely freaked out as you made a slow descent making sure two feet were firmly placed on each step before you moved to the next as you went down the stairs you got maybe eight steps then all hell broke loose.
A few fell away as you panicked but tried to breath through it only for more to slip back into the wall in your addled mind you panicked watching the steps one by one collapse you made a snap decision and made a leap of faith crying out as you smacked your ribs on it making you try and scream you couldn't make a sound winded , you scrabbled on the step flailing legs trying to find purchase your eyes widened watching as the rest disappeared then the one you held crumbled away you screamed pulling at the ground to help but in the confusion you only smashed a few pillars into you one clipped your waving arm
"Shit shit hold on y/n, I'll get dad just stay here okay? Donât-donât go to sleep okay?" He dissapeared then returned seconds later with Clark Diana and Barry close behind. Clark swore seeing your crumpled form running to sit beside you, he didn't need his x-ray vision to see that you'd broken your arm as it had snapped and was sticking out crudely at an odd angle he sat by your head stroking your hair whispering softly to you trying to calm you down as you panicked crying and hyperventilating.
"Shh shh its okay, I've got you I've got you, Barry can you tell Bruce whats happened we need a car, ambulance or something, Diana can you help hold her still I've got to move her ,get her to the hospital, I can't fly her there could cause an infection or something." Diana crouched beside you shushing you trying to help calm you, moving your head to look at her you tried moving but screamed loud, Clark placed a hand on your tummy holding you still.
"Donât move y/n donât move Let me do it okay? Diana I need her on her back can you hold her shoulder I donât want to move her arm to much Yet ready one... two.. three" everyone winced as you cried out loud your pain echoed in the room
"Shh shh its okay your doing really well I'm here its going to be okay...Konner can you get a cloth we are going to have to stop the bleeding" he looked nervous
"Can't you just laser-" Clark shook his head
"Shes human and will need a cast for it to heal kon we can't explain that in hospital, a clean cloth konner now!" Bruce came running in with a medium black box he swore loud seeing you on the floor.
"Bruce whats that?" He ignored Diana and quickly stopped by you opening the case pulling out a small needle and vial filling the needle with half a dose he would use himself.
"Tramadol, I always have some here incase...Clark I need a vein find one!" Clark moved from your sight making you whine trying to move your head to him. Clark pointed one out on the inside of your arm Bruceâs hand shook he was stopped by Barry.
"We can't just give her tramadol! If they give her morphine it could cause a reaction, We need to get her to the hospital...We can't explain how we gave her tramadol" you looked up as you felt someone else by your broken arm the blue eyed teen went to press the cloth hard over the wound on your arm Diana called out to him
"No head, head the arm will stop bleeding before the head!" He nodded shuffling forward holding it to your head you cried out.
"FFFUUUUCCKK! Fuckfuckfuck noNOOOONO PLEASE STOP!" You screamed at him Clark looked over to a distraught konner who hesitated.
"Keep it there, hold on y/n we get you to a hospital soon just hold on okay sweetheart"
"Yeah donât go towards any white lights" that brought on a whole new flood of tears as everyone screamed
"BARRY!" you weept as Diana cradled your head in her lap holding you still for konner and making sure your arm was left alone.Bruce was already on the phone to the ambulance requesting one to come over immediately two blocks down where Clark could take you as Clark repeated what he saw.
"Snapped right through the radius and ulna, broken ribs and cracked head, heavy bleeding" Bruce recounted what Clark had said
"Five minuets away okay yes we already moved her to stem the bleeding, shes pale already we will be outside yes" he put the phone down.
"Five minuets we have to move her they think shes on third" Clark bit his lip you cried begging them not to touch you.
"Konner, Barry open the doors for me" you shook your head at him as he moved slowly.
"NO! Please donât Clark-Clark please don't it hurts I don't want to move" he ignored you taking the cloth from konner pressing it firmly
"Hey hey its okay, just breath I promise I'll be so quick you might not even notice okay? But we need to get you to the hospital, now deep breath in and out that's it good girl breathe in and out" he used the the moment you breathed out to quickly move your arm as gently and fast as possible. Your breathing hitched then you screamed again feeling the boned move.
"YOU FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK!" He closed his eyes trying to calm himself down he felt bad but it had to be done he couldn't move you anywhere with it dangling about, opening his eyes he crouched over you wiping at the tears hushing you.
"Good girl all done the worst is over now ,I'm so proud of you, now we can move you without touching it again , we donât need to move it anymore"Â
"Y-you promise?" He nodded moving tucking you up into his arms the stood up with you pulling you against his chest making sure to stem the blood from your head wound, the bleeding front your arm had slowed but he was worried you were drowsy, very weak you head lulled back eyes unfocused and you was very pale.
"I need something to cover her shes cold, shes gonna pass out" konner shrugged off his heavy coat placing it over her gently tucking it down between her and his dad making sure it was secure.
"The apartments on 3rd right?" Bruce nodded
"Y/n close your eyes honey" you closed them as tight as you could still moaning in pain, it was unbearable there was a rush of air then nothing you'd passed out.
When you come to you were in a white room with huge animal stickers across the walls you grunted then whined at the fluorescent lights you moved your arm to your face noticing a thick bandage. Looking around you saw you was in a private hospital room. Scanning the room you noticed Clark slumped in the chair beside you and the teen from before. The door opened and you saw a woman you didn't recognize she looked kind and chilled out holding a cardboard drinks holder with three cups in it, she stopped short and smiled looking relieved.
"You know you gave them quite a scare...I haven't seen Clark that frightened since...well I don't think I have ever seen him that frightened" you moved sitting up wincing she quickly placed the cups down
"Whoa slowly honey that's it slowly are you in any pain? They said the medication would last longer but you now how doctors are..."you shook your head no.
"Groggy, err what happened?" You trailed off as Clark stirred beside you then blinked his face lit up as he saw you awake and he quickly grabbed you tugging you in for a hug you yelped a little in surprise making the bed shake small pins forming on the surface as it tried to stop the offending body that launched itself at you, you caught it in time, he tucked your head under his chin running his fingers across your scalp holding you for a few seconds then pulled back holding your shoulders looking stern.
"Donât you ever do that again, you hear me you almost gave me a heart attack! You nearly bled out! You donât train alone ever! Not until I know you can handle it Do you understand me?!" You nodded slowly at him not quite with it then looked at the woman who stood at the bottom of the bed the blue eyed boy got up standing next to where Clark sat at the head of the bed.
"Clark? Where? Whats going on?" He looked down at you kissing your head he sighed tucking you under his arm.
"You lost focus and panicked you fell about twelve foot, you had a nasty break snapped your ulna and radius, broke three ribs and cracked your head open, you lost a lot of blood, they had to operate on your arm and you've had a few blood transfusions" you looked at your wrapped arm then followed the canula that tied you to a beeping machine with an iv bag that was half full of clear liquid you gulped.
"W-why is it beeping whats wrong?" The woman came over sitting on your right side straightening your arm making the beep stop
"Its when you cut off the tube, there see? Now it can carry on" Â you looked from her then to Clark and blinked.
"Oh god donât tell me Bruce had to pay for all that..." Clark shared a look with the other two in the room.
"Well he would have happily you know that but it just so happens Ma's insurance covers the whole family soo" you froze snapping your head up to him.
"Iâm not family" He smiled at you then nodded to the woman sitting on your right.
"This is my mother Martha and my son Konner....as of yesterday they have been your brother and grandmother....Diana told you I was going to adopt you its only just been finalized, Konner and I came to get you yesterday we wanted to surprise you then he heard you screaming ...we've been working on your room at home and on the farm for the past few weeks, its why I haven't been around much I had a lot of paper work and court appearance's Bruce helped me through it all... but its all done....your officially  y/n Y/l/n Kent now." You bit your lip looking down shaking your head. No they couldn't have. You sniffed. Then felt the woman place her hand on your back rubbing it.
"Hey hey what the matter? Its okay" you shook your head using your good hand to wipe at your eyes trying desperately not to cry but failed miserably.she wrapped an arm around your shoulder pulling you in letting you cry on her you just kept shaking your head not willing to believe that someone had actually chose to keep,you, it had to be a mistake, or some sick joke. No one adopted teens, once you hit twelve you aged out.
"Hey whats with the tears? We don't look that bad do we?" You shook your head at the woman pulling back from her.
"No I-you cant" you couldn't even  get the words out around your sobs, you was confused and happy and terrified all in one. Clark interrupted
"Who says I cant? Your ours now and your coming to live with us" you hiccuped still trying to bite back your small shuddering sobs.
"I-I don't have to move again? And I get to stay?" He wrapped you up in his arms again .
"No your not going any where now, your stuck with us and when we leave here we are all going to the farm for a while to settle then you'll be moving back into metropolis with me and Konner...why don't you introduce yourself Konner?" He moved forward smiling shyly
"Im glad your okay now....don't do it again tho it wasn't...nice watching you bleed out like that" you smiled at him wiping your eyes trying to stop the tears.
"Thank you for finding me....if you hadn't I don't know what would have happened.. and Iâm sorry for screaming at you..." he waved it off"Its okay you were hurt so of course you would scream at me, and I couldnât let my little sister die before picking on her at least once wheres the fun in that." You fidgeted with the blanket.
"Y-you donât mind having me around? Even near your grandma? Iâm not exactly safe" he shook his head going to speak but was cut off by his grandma taking hold of your chin.
"No you are not dangerous," you held up your arm but she shook her head
"Yes so it was a stupid decision But you wont do it again, even with your powers your human just like me and need to be more careful, besides I'm pretty sure I can handle it, he got his laser vision when he was seven, try that for dangerous" you looked to Clark unsure but he shrugged nodding.
"Its true she raised me and came out fighting any way we've already established that you can acclimatize your powers to other people nothing happens with Diana Bruce or Barry anymore me and konner just need to hang around until you reach that point hence why we are going to the farm for a while first."
"How do you know that?" He sighed
"I may not have been around but Bruce kept me updated" you looked down again Martha sat back smiling you were lost, just as lost as konner had been but she knew you'd come around it will take time you haven't had anyone for a long time, Clark had let both her and konner know what had happened and about your power she was excited to have a granddaughter around the house for a while.
"Plus it will be good to get you away from the city for a while, whens the last time you got out of the city and had some fresh air?" You shook your head tilting it a bit
"Never left Gotham before" she smiled at you
"Well are you in for a shock, huge open spaces fresh air its really something"Â Clark smiled as you relaxed konner piped up"It really is, there's lots of space to let loose and you can practice your power thing in the garden" you looked to Clark who smiled brightly at you
"Yes its just about time to start planting crops so you can help out on the fields and in the potting barn" you smiled eyes lighting up
"I've never grown nothing before, can I grow tomatoes And cucumber?" Martha nodded at you making you glow.
"After you catch up on your classes, your nearly a eight months behind in every subject" you frowned at him shaking his head
"What no I'm not-" he leaned back crossing his arms at you
"Yes you are, I was given your transcripts you have been slowly falling behind since switching to online so we have a strict schedule in place that your going to follow to catch up, konner will be there to he is doing online as well so your going to have a classmate" you looked at konner stumped.
"Is he serious?"
"Deadly Iâm afraid, but I will help you so donât sweat it" you nodded you didnât mind really it will be nice having someone who really cared who wasnât paid to do it you smiled leaning back a little Clark caught you moving in to quickly kiss your head
"I'm sure it wont be that bad" the door opened and a doctor came in with a smile crossing the room quickly standing at the bottom of the bed.
"So how is the patient today? Well your up which is good any pain at all?" You shook your head curling into Clark....You didn't like doctors one bit. He stood at the end of your bed reading the clipboard.
"Well thatâs good" he smiled to you then began talking to Clark making you frown a little it was odd...being treated like a kid, when your an orphan people tend to treat you different older they know your more independent but now your doctor was bypassing you opting to speak about you not to you, Martha caught your confusion and patted your hand.
"Her blood is back to normal and the ob's are fine, I see no reason to keep,her in any longer thereâs no fever or anything that could show an infection so you can probably leave today, just need to remove the iv and get a cast put on I will have someone come up to take you down for that in the next hour or so." Clark nodded then spoke
"Is it going to scar?" The doctor hesitated"It was a nasty break, clean cut but nasty it probably will leave a scar but I'm not sure how bad it will probably just be a small one where the bone came through the skin" you gasped
"It came through? Ew.... did someone get a picture?" konner laughed nodding moving to pull out his phone making the adults sigh
"Hell yeah look" you did immediately regretting it.
"OH FUCK Iâm gonna be sick, we are white meat....looks like a chicken fillet" you bent over heaving Clark sighed rubbing your back you hissed as the movement pulled on your ribs.
"Kon put it away, what about her ribs will they heal? And her head?"
"Head will be fine the stitches will dissolve and her ribs will be if she takes it easy, the bandage she had on now will help but she has to go slow and come back for a check up" he flipped the chart
"Metropolis? I will arrange for you to go there for the check up" Clark corrected him
"Could you make it Smallville medical center? We are going to stay there for a while, Iâm thinking if she wont listen to me she will listen to grandma" you flushed feeling a strange warmth in your chest as he said that....this was going to take a while to get used to. The doctor smiled chuckling
"Now that does sound like a good idea, cast will be on for a minimum of seven weeks...in her case probably longer."
"Will she get a color one?" The doctor nodded to konner
"Well we have a pretty bright pink-"
"Black....I want black" he stuttered looking for help from the others who all shrugged
"I donât think we have black at the moment thereâs pink,purple, lime green, orange and blue but you can ask when you get there. Now Iâm going to go and cal a nurse to get that iv out." You blinked as he left the room.
"Well he was fucking rude barely spoke to me....just you I'm going on trust pilot what was his name again?" Martha laughed and Clark snorted
"Its called having a dad, I sort out the adult stuff now remember? You just be a kid" you faltered looking down it will take time, Clark cast a look over you to Martha who shook her head konner sensed the awkwardness and quickly interrupted.
"Can I draw on your cast....never drawn on one before." You regarded konner for a second"You gonna draw a dick on it?" He shook his head smirking
"Okay but if you do draw a dick on it I'm gonna draw one on your face in your sleep....just saying"
"No one is drawing dicks on any one" Clark rolled his eyes at the two teens, he'd admit he was a little worried about how you two would be but something tell's him your both going to be fine, you both had been crying out for someone who you couldn't accidentally hurt and that was going to be your starting point, no doubt there was going to be bumps along the way but for now he was happy, his family was growing happy and healthy he couldn't ask for more than that.
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What's Left of Us - Part 2
This is a part of a TRR A/U called Cordonians Gone Wild, a collaborative effort by @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @leelee10898 and yours truly. Catch up HERE.
Summary: Genevieve has to decide if Rashad deserves another chance.
Rating: Angst, I'm sad
Tag List: @fullbeaumonty @brightpinkpeppercorn @alj4890 @zaffrenotes @annekebbphotography @carabeth @moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @3pawandme @indiacater @ooo-barff-ooo @ownworldresident @tornbetween2loves @perfectprofessorherokid @stopforamoment @editboutique @wannabemc2 @enmchoices @lauradowning29 @lodberg @smalltalk88 @gibbles82 @heatherfilliez @drakesensworld @nikkis1983 @sweetest-marbear @classylady1234 @daniv2278 @jlouise88 @jared2612 @liamxs-world @notoriouscs @blubutterflyy @captain-kingliamsqueen @lynne1993
Rashad left the office and joined Anitah, Pam, Liam and Drake in the living room. He spotted Genevieve across the room as guests offered their condolences. He noticed three men approach her that he recognized. He watched Thomas and Julian hug her and kiss her cheek before stepping aside. Rashadâs eyes narrowed when Christian stepped forward and hugged her longer than he liked. His hands clenched into fists when he saw Christian wipe a tear from her face.
Anitah noticed Rashadâs tense posture and looked to where he was staring. She smirked, âThereâs someone who would treat her right if he had the opportunity...â Pam added, "Old habits die hard, eh Rashad?"
Liam frowned, âAnitah, Pam...please don't start. He already feels like shit.â Drake grumbled, âThatâs his own damn fault, Liam.â
âExcuse meâŠâ Rashad stood up and walked out the front door. He sat down on the porch swing, relieved to have a moment alone. He knew he needed to talk to her so he could beg her not to take the job and to come home instead.
The front door opened, and Thomas, Julian and Christian walked out of the house. Thomas and Julian shook his hand and headed to their car. Christian turned to him and said, âTake care of her...she's really hurting.â He extended his hand and Rashad shook it. Christian got in the car and the three men left.
The door opened again. Genevieve stepped out and stood in front of him. He got up and smiled weakly at her. She shook her head as tears streamed down her face. âYou hurt me...a lot. But I think you know that, otherwise you wouldn't be here.â
He pleaded with her, âGen, Iâm so sorry. My job, my company, nothing will ever be more important than you. I was angry, and I took it out on the one person that didn't deserve it. I will never forgive myself for that. Please, don't take that job. Please come back with me. I will never hurt you again.â
She whispered through a sob, âI don't think I can give you another opportunity to hurt me again. Please go home, Rashad.â With that, she walked back inside the house leaving him alone on the porch. He slumped down on the porch swing feeling like he was just punched in the stomach. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he didn't even bother to wipe them when they finally fell down his face.
The two couples said goodbye to Genevieve and met Rashad on the porch. Anitah and Pam didn't even acknowledge him before getting into the waiting limo. Once the car was on the road, Rashad cleared his throat and looked at the two women, "Did she tell you she's not coming back to Cordonia, and that she accepted a job offer here?"
Drake and Liam shared a shocked look but didn't say a word. âYes,â Anitah stated still staring out the window.
"I love her....and I want her to come home." He was trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill over.
âRashad...do you really love her? Or did you just not want to be alone...or maybe she was good for your ego? Looked good having her on your arm at events?â Anitah sat forward looking at him. âBecause Iâm seriously questioning whether or not you ever loved her. You donât destroy someone you love, Rashad. Breaking a womanâs heart goes way deeper than you guys may realize, and this goes for all of you,â she eyed each man in that limo. âWe may be able to walk around with a smile, we may be able to act as though it doesnât bother us, or in Genâs case, we maybe able to act as though we can just up and move forward...but the truth is, you just destroyed her outlook on love. You ripped her self esteem to shreds, for you to make her think that she wasnât enough for you, that she was a âmistakeâ as you put it. And you very well may have just lost the best thing that ever happened to you, Rashad. And if thatâs the case, Iâm sorry, but you have no one to blame but yourself.â Anitah sat back and crossed her arms.
Rashad stared at her with his mouth open. âI do love her...with everything in me. I'm not going to act like I know how she's feeling. I'm sure it's far worse than what I'm feeling and I feel really fucking horrible. I just want the chance to fix it and make it right.â He choked up before continuing, âBut she told me that she didn't want to give me that chance. And you're right, it's all my fault.â He could no longer hold back his tears. He pulled his gaze from Anitah and looked out the window.
Liam gave his friend a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, âRashad...just give her some time...she has a lot going on right now with everything.â
Anitah gave Liam the side eye, glaring at him as she looked over to him. He silently motioned to a now crying Rashad giving his wife a look in return. She widened her eyes shaking her head as she shrugged her shoulders. Liam shook his head knowing he lost this silent argument.
Pam glared at Rashad and was about to say something when Drake put his hand on her knee, âBaby, I know you wanna yell at him. Iâd very much like to see it, but maybe just wait. I really don't think he can handle much more. He knows how you ladies feel.â Pam crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. But she remained silent.
When they arrived at the hotel, Rashad let the four of them walk ahead of him. He watched as Liam wrapped his arm around Anitahâs waist, pulling her tight against his side. Drake draped his arm around Pamâs shoulders and pulled her close. Before going into his room, he looked down the hall at the two couples as they reached their hotel room doors. Liam was standing behind a giggling Anitah. He leaned down and kissed her neck. Drake had Pam pinned up against their door, lips locked in a passionate kiss.
He went into his room and removed his suit jacket and tie. He threw both items onto the bed before raiding the mini bar. His phone rang and he rifled through his suit jacket to find it, hoping it was Genevieve. When he saw it was his business partner calling, he threw it across the room and watched it shatter against the wall.
Genevieve sat on her bed in her childhood bedroom, hugging her Sunshine bear. All the guests were gone, and she was finally alone. She opened her phone and went through the texts and voicemails from Rashad. The messages from the day before were more desperate than the day of the fight, his voicemails more frantic. She wiped the tears from her face. She was sick of crying. She felt like that's all she's been doing for the past few days. There was a knock on her bedroom door. She looked up as her mom, Carla, walked into the room.
Her mom sat on her bed and cupped her cheek, âBaby girl, I know you're hurting, and not just because of grandpa. That poor man looked so lost when he was here. But when the two of you saw each other, it was like the world stopped. I've never seen anything like it. You know I'd rather have you close to home than some foreign country but...your heart knows where it calls home and I don't think that's here anymore.â
Genevieve looked down as more tears streamed down her face, âHe hurt me, mama. He made me feel so unimportant and disposable. Like I was...nothing.â
She pulled her daughter into her arms, âGen, sometimes it's easier to hurt the people we love than the people that actually deserve it. It's a sad truth. I don't think he meant what he said. I think he regrets all of it, and I think you know that.â Carla tilted Genevieve's face to look up at her. âYou are my daughter. I love you with all my heart. You are beautiful, intelligent, and resilient. But you are equally sarcastic, facetious, and infuriatingly stubborn. Baby, if you decide to stay, I'll be so happy to have you here. But will I have all of you or will your heart be elsewhere?â She kissed Genevieveâs forehead and left her with her thoughts.
The following morning, the five friends met in the lobby. âYou guys ready to leave? We can decide who rides in which jet when we get to the airfield,â Liam said to the group.
Pam shook her head, âActually, why don't the three of you go ahead in Rashadâs jet. Anitah and I are going to stay for a couple more days. Today is the first day Gen hasn't been surrounded by people, so I think her grandfatherâs death will hit her hard...she needs us since her boyfriend is probably eager to get back to work.â
Rashad hung his head, âI deserve all of this, and I've taken everything you've given, the yelling, the anger, the hurtful words...but I can't listen to it anymore. It kills me that I've lost her. I was devastated when my ex left me. Losing Gen is a million times worse than that. Don't you see? She is my world, my everything. You both are with the love of your life. How would you feel knowing you fucked up so bad that you lost them? So please stop...I can't take anymore right now.â He walked out of the hotel without another word.
Everyone got into the limo. The men were dropping off Pam and Anitah at the Sanchez home. When they pulled up, Carla was outside throwing salt down on the slick sidewalk. She walked up to the car and greeted them. âGood morning! Is anyone hungry? I just got done cooking breakfast. My crabby little princess is inside eating right now,â she said with a laugh.
Liam shook his head, âOh we couldn't impose, Mrs. Sanchez.â
âNonsense! I insist, everyone inside right now.â She pointed to the house, and everyone did as they were told by Mama Carla.
They walked into the kitchen, and Genevieve smiled until her eyes fell on Rashad. Her face turned into a scowl as she grabbed her plate and walked towards the stairs.
âNo food upstairs, young lady!â Carla shouted after her daughter.
âI am almost 30 years old! I will eat upstairs if I want to, especially when you invite unwanted visitors into our house,â Genevieve yelled back, stomping up every single step.
Anitah giggled as she yelled, âYouâre grounded!â Just as the door slammed shut.
Carla let out a hearty laugh, âMy daughter is amazing in the morning. She made me understand why wild animals eat their young. Now, there's only one rule in this house, if it's there, it needs to be eaten. So help yourselves.â
Carla arched her brow as Liam loaded his plate with bacon, sausage, eggs, pancakes and French toast. âDoes no one feed you?â She pushed the plate of pancakes closer to him. Liam just smiled as he ate.
Genevieve's dad, Roberto, stood up from the table and looked directly at the men, âYou better be careful...she makes you fat so you can't run away.â They all laughed as he walked into the living room.
The older woman noticed that Rashad remained quiet during the meal, barely eating. His eyes kept darting towards the stairs. She walked up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder, âJust give her some time. She's stubborn, you know that. But she will come around.â She gave his shoulder a squeeze. He smiled at her, âThank you, Mrs-...â she gave him a warning look, and he cleared his throat, âmom.â
âNow, Drake, all this closeness is probably killing you. Roberto is probably sleeping by now. Go ahead and take the remote from him.â She winked at Drake who stood up and kissed her cheek, âThanks, ma.â
âI've heard a lot about you, Anitah. Tell me more about yourself,â Carla inquired. Anitah cleared her throat, âUh, I grew up in New York, literally met Prince Charming and fell in loveâŠâ Anitah giggled and Carla smiled. âWhere in New York?â She asked with a thoughtful expression on her face. âI grew up in Long Beach, and I went to Fordham in the Bronx. I worked at a bar while in college. Then met this group of goons there one night.â Liam feigned offense, âHey!â
Pam finished her plate of food and joined Drake in the living room. Roberto was asleep in his recliner when Drake took the remote from his hand. Genevieveâs dad woke up with a loud snore once Drake changed the channel. âWhat are you doing, boy?â Drakeâs mouth fell open, âYou...you were sleeping...mom said I couldâŠâ
Pam giggled and took the remote from her husband. âDrake, never touch another manâs remote.â Pam handed the controller back to Roberto as she said, âSorry, dad. Don't mind him.â
Once Liam had his fill of food, the men said their goodbyes and left for the airport. Pam decided to check on Genevieve leaving Anitah in the kitchen with Carla. Once Pam convinced Genevieve that the boys were gone, the two women went downstairs. Anitah wiped her face when she saw her friends walk into the kitchen. Genevieve was about to say something when she saw her mom shake her head, so she kept her mouth shut.
The next day, Genevieve asked Pam and Anitah to go apartment hunting in areas near the city. She knew they were leaving the following morning. She wanted some company looking for a place close to the hospital since she no longer had a car. The girls met her realtor who took them to an Evanston apartment. Genevieve walked around the tiny living space and stopped as soon as she saw the kitchen. âNope, not gonna work for me. I can't open the oven door all the way because it'll hit the cabinet handle.â
The realtor took them to another Evanston apartment that was only a ten minute walk from the hospital. Genevieve immediately said no because of the outdated bathroom. After several apartments, the realtor finally found one that Genevieve couldn't pick apart. Pam and Anitah stayed in the living room while she looked through the master bedroom when she heard a crash. Genevieve and the realtor came running out and saw a light fixture broken on the floor. Anitah pointed to the broken glass, âGen, this place clearly isn't constructed very well. Do not sign the lease on this one.â The realtor stared at her with her mouth open.
The next apartment was newly renovated with a view of Lake Michigan. âI love it! This is it girls!â Genevieve squealed. âGen, there's a giant crack in the wall. This may have some structural problems.â Pam said pointing to a large crack in the wall. The realtor was about to say something when Anitah pulled her into the hallway. âUgh, I guess I'll have to keep looking,â Genevieve groaned.
On the ride back to Genevieve's house, Anitah asked, âGen...are you...are you sure staying in Chicago is what you really want to do?â
Genevieve arched her brow, "What do you mean? A job like this doesn't just get handed to you every day. Some people would kill for this opportunity.â She sighed before continuing, âBesides...what's in Cordonia for me? You guys are married and you'll be starting families soon...maybe this is where I need to be."
Anitah gave her a questioning look, âAre you going to try and talk to him?â
She shrugged, "There's nothing to talk about. I told him to go home and he did...so that's that. He knows I'm taking the job...I just need to send in the offer letter."
Anitah continued to question her friend, âWell is there a reason you havenât submitted it yet, Gen? Youâve had plenty of time to do so...yet itâs still sitting at your house...â
"It's been a busy two days with the wake and the funeral...this is the first day I've had to even think about it." Genevieve replied.
Pam couldn't hold her tongue anymore, "You're full of shit, Gen. You haven't sent that letter in because we both know that stupid asshole, who is actually a really sweet guy, who fucked up and knows it, still owns your heart. I know you're mad, but it's time to be honest. You love him..."
Genevieve fought back her tears, âWell, sometimes love isnât enough, Pamela.â
The next day, Drake and Rashad walked into Liam's office. He finished his phone call and hung up. âThe girls will be landing shortly. I sent a car to wait for them,â Liam gave Rashad a compassionate smile. âShe could have changed her mind. She might be on the plane, RashadâŠâ
Rashad gave him an unconvincing nod. Even Drake had simmered down and started to feel bad for him. A little while later, they saw the black SUV pull up in front of the palace. The three men went outside and watched the driver open the rear passenger door. Pam, Anitah and Brad exited the vehicle. Liam and Drake greeted their wives as Rashad stared at the open door. Rashadâs heart broke when he watched the driver push it shut. She didn't come back with them.
His voice cracked as he spoke, âWelcome home, Pam, Anitah. Iâm going to head outâŠâ He wiped the tear that rolled down his cheek. Pam and Anitah gave him a sympathetic smile.
After he got into his car, another black SUV pulled up blocking him in his parking spot. He groaned, knowing he was stuck until the vehicle moved. Looking through his rearview mirror, he watched the driver get out and open the rear door. When the door shut, he saw her. He turned around in his seat and looked out of the rear windshield to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. He fumbled with the door handle and got out of his car. There she was, standing in front of him.
âYou...came backâŠâ He took a few tentative steps towards her. She smiled as tears rolled down her cheeks, âNo, I came home.â
He closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her. Unable to hold back his emotions, he broke down crying. She held him tightly as she sobbed in his arms.
âGod, I missed you. I love you, Gen. I will spend every single day showing you how sorry I am and how much I love you. Your happiness will always come before anyone or anything. I can't live without you.â
âI missed you too, and I love you so much, Rashad. But we need to talk. We have a lot to work on...together...â she managed to say through sobs.
âWhatever it takes, sweetheart. I just never want to be without you...ever again,â He replied wiping the tears from her face.
âOh my god! Kiss her already!â Anitah shouted.
The pair turned to their friends. Liam and Drake were grinning from ear to ear while Pam and Anitah were crying. She smiled up at him, and he leaned down capturing her mouth in a passionate kiss. She closed her eyes relishing the feeling of his lips on hers.
After they broke apart, Rashad walked up to Anitah and Pam, âYou guys put me through the ringer...but thank you for being such good friends to her, and having her back when I didnât.â The two women threw their arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. âWe forgive you, cinnamon roll!â
âLet's go home,â Rashad grabbed Genevieveâs hand and led her towards his car.
A Few Weeks Laterïżœïżœïżœ
Rashad and Genevieve were hosting dinner in Domvallier. The friends were laughing and talking during their meal. Demetrius walked in with an envelope in his hand, âRashad, son, what is this bill from Chicago?â
Thinking it was a bill from the hotel from when threw his phone, he took the paper from his father. âThis is a bill for damage to two apartments in Evanston. This must be a mistake.â
Anitah was drinking her water when she choked on it causing her to spit it out. Pam tucked her lips between her teeth to keep from laughing. Genevieve noticed the two women turning red, âOh my god! You two broke that stuff in those apartments so I wouldn't sign the lease?â
Rashad questioned her, âWhat are you talking about, sweetie?â
âBefore I decided to come home, I was looking at apartments. In one of them the light fixture âfellâ from the ceiling, and in another there was a huge crack in the wall.â Genevieve snorted, âAnd then you told them to bill Rashad? That's brilliant!â
The three women burst out laughing while Liam glared at Anitah. âYou're welcome, Rashad! You're welcome.â Anitah said through her laughter.
Rashad chuckled, âIt's a small price to pay, I suppose. I'll take care of it, Father.â
#this is ao719's fault#cordonians gone wild#cordoniansgonewild#cgw#rashad x genevieve#the royal romance#trr au
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Secrets We Keep Chapter 59 Sae Sorry
"Sae sorry!" He repeats over and over. She sobs against his chest. They stay that way for what seems like an eternity, lost in their individual grief over what had happened. Finally she lifts her head and silences him with a kiss that tastes of their tears.
"Hush. Oh God. It is me who should be saying sorry. I never, " she shudders against him," never meet to ever cause you the need to use your safe word."
"I offered to take the lasses punishment I just dinna ken how furious ye were with her."
"With her and you. I thought I could trust you Jamie. But, you didn't move away. Why didn't you move away or move her?"
"I dinna ken. Truly Claire, she took me by surprise. I never expected.."
"And you were enjoying it."
"I am a man Claire. But, that is nae excuse. I should have moved her. I am truly sorry."
"So am I. I...my reaction wasn't just about you or, even her. It was a lot of stuff from the past. What Harry did. You didn't deserve his punishment. I am so sorry."
"Claire, I am happy to help you out to work through what he did to ye, truly. Up to sacrificing my body. "
"No. This will never happen again. Come. I must treat them." She goes to stand up and realizes she hasn't the strength in her arms to help herself up. Oh God, how hard had she hit him? She looks at him with huge eyes.
"Claire?"
"I haven't the strength to get up." She states as tears refill her eyes.
"Ah." He stands and then lifts her to her feet. They exit the room and he relocks it. They won't reenter it for months. She leads them to the bathroom and she sobs anew, when she sees his back. Some of the cuts are deep enough to scar. He will bare permanent marks of her rage.
She washes them all out and he hisses. "I am so sorry." She says as she cleanses them of anything that could cause infection.
"Dinna flash lass. Just do as you need to." His steady, matter-of-fact tone, steadies her and she completes her ministrations. She bandages the deepst one after coating them all with antibiotic ointment.
"My turn." He says after she is done.
"For?"
"You need aftercare also. Come Claire and I will massage those arms for ye. Ye won't be able to lift them in the morning if I dinna."
"How can you want to care for me? I am a horrible person."
"Nae. Ye are a hurting person who, I happen to be deeply in love with. My Sorcha, please." She can refuse him nothing. Not even his care of her she still feels completely unentitled too. So, she lets him lead her into the bedroom. He lays her on the bed, lays on his side and starts to deep tissue massage of her shoulders and arms.
"I think I need to talk to someone about what Harry did. A professional." She says as he works the soreness out of her.
"Hmmm, tis an excellent idea."
"I thought I was over it. Today, proved I wasn't."
"Aye. But we dinna help."
"True," she gasp and then sighs as he works out a especially tight spot. "And, Rain still has to deal with me. To dare to put her hands on you!"
"I am trying to work out yer tension love." He reminds her.
"Right sorry. So, I will get a recommendation. Set up an appointment."
#my writing#jamie and claire#outlander fanfic#cannon divergence#secrets we keep#the sub and dom one#sae sorry#the aftermath
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