#ElfrootAddict's Now You Know

[elfrootaddict]

Now You Know - Chapter 8/8

CONTAINS SPOILERS - DO NOT READ ON UNTIL YOU HAVE COMPLETED DAI TRESPASSER DLC!

DESCRIPTION: Experience (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and feelings during the final cut scene of the Trespasser DLC. Including her experience when she loses the Anchor.

Chapter 1 ¦ Chapter 2 ¦ Chapter 3 ¦ Chapter 4 ¦ Chapter 5 ¦ Chapter 6 ¦ Chapter 7 ¦ Chapter 8

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

To all those in Solavellan Hell,

I have written this to not only express my emotions but to hopefully capture some of yours, too.

After completing Trespasser, and going through the hell that is the final cut scene, I had to do something. So, to help myself work through it, I’ve written (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and experiences down during the DLC’s final cut scene.

This is my very first FanFic, so I hope it doesn’t turn out completely terrible. *fingers crossed*

Happy Dragon 4ge Day!

WARNING: Chapter 6 contains a moment of distress and gore. Read with sensitivity and discretion.

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

CHAPTER 8

Several weeks have passed since the Exalted Council. 

Back in Ferelden, in a hidden location, Lavellan, Cassandra and Lace Harding gather around a large wooden table waiting to hear the latest reports from Liliana. 

Liliana enters the room and announces, “My agents have found nothing. With the eluvians, he could be anywhere.” She then starts walking down the stairs towards the table. 

“With the Inquisition officially disbanded, we have no army, no formal alliances...” says Cassandra looking worrisome. 

Lilliana boasts, “We have what we truly need.”

With an audible sigh, Cassandra murmurs, “We will need to be careful.”

Liliana extends her advice, “Solas knows everything about us. Who we are, how we work, our strengths and weaknesses...”

Lavellan knows her team and what each of them is capable of. She knows they would die for her and she would die for them. They are her family. 

They all understand Lavellan’s decision to disband the Inquisition and they respect it. None of them could stomach another corrupt organisation within Thedas - there are enough of them already.

After explaining what transpired between her and Solas, they all agreed there is more at play here than meets the eye. There has to be something they can do to change his mind.  

Solas may know how they operate, but Lavellan also knows him better than anyone. He is not so impenetrable as he may think he is. 

“Then we find people he doesn’t know,” says Lavellan. “We will save our friend from himself… if we can.”

She takes the knife, in her only hand, and stabs it into the map on the table - solidifying their next move. 

Tevinter Imperium.

[tragic-lavellan]

Not DA-related post

Got tagged by @noire-pandora​ thank you! this was really hard but I had fun!

Rules: List ten songs that you really like, each by a different artist, and tag people!

1. Slipknot - Snuff

So if you love me, let me go. And run away before I know. My heart is just too dark to care. I can't destroy what isn't there. Deliver me into my fate - If I'm alone I cannot hate I don't deserve to have you... My smile was taken long ago If I can change I hope I never know

2. Foo Fighters - Long Road to Ruin

Maybe the season The colors change in the valley skies Oh God, I've sealed my fate Runnin' through hell, heaven can wait

Long road to ruin there in your eyes Under the cold streetlights No tomorrow, no dead end

3. Kamelot - Center of the Universe

I have a tale to be told won't you listen tonight Follow me into the core of the fountain of light Try to imagine that hope is our ship for the soul (Over the ocean the quest of your life lies ahead) Maybe together we'll find there's a place for us all (Follow the star in your mind, sail along sail along)

4. Noel Schajris - No veo la hora (translated)

I have so much to give you a kiss in freedom a hug in the evening a tale that will make you blow your top if life brings us both together to grow love with you, I want to learn For you I can be an afternoon in your skin a life in your eyes of honey for you I'm back to being

5. Robbie Williams - Angels

Wherever it may take me I know that life won't break me When I come to call she won't forsake me I'm loving angels instead

6. Elton John - Sorry seems to be the hardest word

What have I got to do to make you love me What have I got to do to make you care What do I do when lightning strikes me And I wake to find that you're not there

7. George Michael - Faith

But I've got to think twice Before I give my heart away And I know all the games you play Because I play them too

8. Bon Jovi - Always

Now your pictures that you left behind Are just memories of a different life Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry One that made you have to say goodbye What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair To touch your lips, to hold you near

9. Angela Aki - This Love (translated)

Instead of waiting for a miracle I want you to hold onto my hand Because the power of belief Will set me free You dont have to fear this love

10. Lena Park - You Raise me Up 

There is no life - no life without its hunger; 

Each restless heart beats so imperfectly; 

But when you come and I am filled with wonder, Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

Well I really had a hard time doing this, but it was worth it? I hope

tagging: @astray-as-a-cat​ @chronically-sweet​ @elfrootaddict​ @lakecalenhadlookslikeabunny​ @zena-drawings​ @warden-commander-shepard​ @a-french-lady-s-diary​ @shadowcrow​

(you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to! no pressure)

[an-egg-broke-my-heart]

Post Four Songs That Describe Your OC

I was tagged by @isalavhenan​! Thanks bb!

Tagging @faelavellan​, @waterwhisp-rivergoblin​, @im4egghead​, @celiacelie​, @pookyhuntress​, @elfrootaddict​, @underthedreadwolfsgaze​, @mistressdreadwolf​, @lillotte17​ or whoever else wants to tell us more about ur OC!

OC: Nolanni Lavellan

Keep On (Sasha Sloan)

Every time I run away It catches up somehow But I've been learning what to say So I talk myself down 'Cause right now

The walls are starting to cave in Sometimes, I wish I was somebody else When my mind starts misbehaving Is when I tell myself

Okay, baby, you'll be okay You just gotta keep, gotta keep on You just gotta keep on Rolling even on the bad days

Wolf (First Aid Kit)

Holy light over the night Oh, keep the spirit strong Watch it grow, child of war Oh, keep holdin' on

When I run through the deep dark forest long After this begun Where the sun would set The trees were dead And the rivers were none And I hope for a trace To lead me back home from this place But there was no sound there was only me, and my disgrace

Dream (Tessa Violet)

I need you here here oh I see you in my sleep And I want you dear dearly come running after me You're in my bones bones Oh I gotta let you go But I don't know how When you're rooted in my soul

I had a dream last night you came back to me after our goodbye My arms you fell into and you asked if I'd run away with you I ain't felt that way before like I couldn't wait just a minute more And I don't wanna let you go, But dreams slip away I know

Howl (Florence + the Machine)

Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters

A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright

If you could only see the beast you've made of me I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallow'ed ground

[silvanils]

wip wednesday

+ “from the scrap pile” (maybe?)

This is... a scrap from a plot bunny that I’m still working on, but decided to take a slightly different angle with. Some of this content may still find it’s way into the final version, but I wanted to share this potentially “cut content” because I still really like how it came out.

(Cullen helping Rhys will probably become more of a “behind the scenes” thing in the final version, because I plan to tell the whole story from his point of view.)

It was a long slog, going through all the letters the Inquisitor had brought in. They made Cullen’s stomach turn, more often than not. Most of them had been written by people he’d known. Some, he’d considered friends.

Each was one a reminder of what he could have become if circumstances had been slightly different. He was... lucky. 

And yet, his ears still hummed and his head pounded from his need for lyrium. Damn. It was a bad day, but the letters... the letters kept him busy, kept him grounded. He would not give in to the aching, the shaking, the -

A gust of wind knocked in through the window and sent two whole stacks of papers flying, ruining his careful organization.

“Maker’s Breath,” he cursed, slowly standing up. Everything he did was slow, today. His hands shook slightly as he gathered up the papers and started sorting things back out, his brow furrowed.

A few letters in, though, he had to pause and stare. The handwriting was familiar, and his stomach tightened up in fear and worry - 

.

I should have been there, Irving. 

I know my health has been poor lately, but I… I should have been there. The only thing that stings more than knowing she’s dead is finding out she was burned and buried before I even knew what had happened to her.

I still can’t believe it. I keep expecting both of you to walk back in, and for us to start bickering like we always would. Perhaps I took too much for granted.

Her son sounds like a bright man, if a little foolhardy. I hope his choices will not haunt him in the coming years, but I am relieved he has a friend in you. Look after him and… the others. I must leave them in someone’s care.

Knight-Commander Greagoir

.

“He is sad, but not only for himself. His world is falling apart all around him and there’s nothing he can do. He wants to remember. Forgetting would only make him hurt more.”

Cullen turned to see Cole standing in the corner. It was as unsettling as ever, and now he wondered if he should be blaming the wind for this disruption.

“Cole, you… startled me. You must stop doing that.”

“I thought you could help him, and… helping might help you feel better. He never actually sent the letters. I have others, too. Here.”

He passed Cullen two more sheets of parchment. Cullen made the mistake of glancing down at them for a moment, and when he looked up there were just leaves swirling idly in the place that Cole had been.

“Maker,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. His head was still aching, but his hands were shaking less. He had noticed immediately that the final letter was unsigned and scrawled in a far messier hand - though still easily recognizable to Cullen, since he’d been assigned to revise quickly-written drafts for Knight-Commander quite often.

The few sentences he’d made out made him freeze up again, though. All at once, he was certain he should not read it... but also desperately curious to know more.

.

Rhys.

There’s no way to make this any easier, so let me get this out of the way first: I’m your father.

Tagging: @kita-lavellan, @mrstethras, @elfrootaddict​, @noire-pandora​, @followingthewolf​, @queen-kass-the-writer​, @faelavellan​, @jarakrisafis​, @superstitious21​, @medlilove​, and anyone else that wants to do the thing~

[elfrootaddict]

Now You Know - Chapter 7/8

CONTAINS SPOILERS - DO NOT READ ON UNTIL YOU HAVE COMPLETED DAI TRESPASSER DLC!

DESCRIPTION: Experience (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and feelings during the final cut scene of the Trespasser DLC. Including her experience when she loses the Anchor.

Chapter 1 ¦ Chapter 2 ¦ Chapter 3 ¦ Chapter 4 ¦ Chapter 5 ¦ Chapter 6 ¦ Chapter 7 ¦ Chapter 8

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

To all those in Solavellan Hell,

I have written this to not only express my emotions but to hopefully capture some of yours, too.

After completing Trespasser, and going through the hell that is the final cut scene, I had to do something. So, to help myself work through it, I’ve written (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and experiences down during the DLC’s final cut scene.

This is my very first FanFic, so I hope it doesn’t turn out completely terrible. *fingers crossed*

Happy Dragon 4ge Day!

WARNING: Chapter 6 contains a moment of distress and gore. Read with sensitivity and discretion.

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

CHAPTER 7

Once Lavellan gets back to her room in the Winter Palace, she finally has the peace and quiet she needs to get her thoughts into order. 

Solas was right about one thing, the Inquisition has been infiltrated and abused. It is turning into the very thing she constantly fights against: a corrupt, over-powered organisation. She is not going to let her Inquisition be turned into another Seekers of Truth disaster.

Lavellan puts on her official Inquisition uniform. With the writ from Divine Justinia in her right hand, she starts marching out the door and heads towards the Exalted Council which is still in session.

“Inquisitor! Hold on!” calls Varric running after her. 

She turns around and faces him, “What is it?”

“I know it’s not really my place, but I just wanted to say that I agree with your decision. It takes a very level-headed person to turn down power like this.”

“It’s not that hard to see what it can become. Better to end this now.”

“I know, I know but… agh, you know what I mean.” says Varric scratching the back of his head.

“I do.” replies Lavellan with a smile. 

She is about to take off again when Varric says, “Hang on,” he takes her loose sleeve, rolls it up and pins it down. “There. Now go give them the good news. I wish I could be there to see Cassa- I mean, Divine Victoria’s face.”

“Thank you, Varric.” says Lavellan with a gentle head nod. He always knows how to lighten the mood. 

She resumes her position, and promptly marches onwards. She is almost at the Exalted Council, and can hear the commotion behind closed doors. 

“Please, something must be done. We cannot lose the Inquisition now. We stand on the brink of war with the Qunari.” cries Cyril de Montfort, the Orlesian ambassador. 

“Yes!” shouts Teagan Guerrin. “Because this Solas provoked them in the first place.”

Josephine tries to calm down the Council, “The Inquisition did not cause this threat. We informed the summit of the danger-”

“The danger posed by Qunari spies in your organisation!” Teagan Guerrin yells.

The two Orlesian guards sees Lavellan and opens up the door to the Council. 

There is a crowd of Orlesian’s on the left and Ferelden’s on the right. Josephine poised at the very front facing Cyril de Montfort, Divine Victoria and Teagan Guerrin. 

Divine Victoria snarls, “Without our organisation, none of us would be here to complain.”

Teagan Guerrin lets out an audible sigh, “No one has forgotten what you have done. But Corypheus is two years dead.”

Lavellan is almost at Josephine’s side. After a considerable pause, Cyril de Montfort says, “If the Inquisition is to continue, it must do so as a legitimate organisation, not a glorified mercenary band.”

“Inquisitor?” asks Josephine looking anxious.

Lifting up the writ of the Inquisition, Lavellan asks rhetorically, “You all know what this is?” The entire Council and witnesses fall silent. “A writ from Divine Justinia authorizing the formation of the Inquisition,” she turns to face the people behind her. “We pledged to close the Breach, find those responsible, and restore order. With or without anyone’s approval.” 

Letting her temper get the better of her, she addresses Teagan Guerrin, “It wasn’t a formally authorised treaty that saved Ferelden’s people,” and towards Cyril de Montfort. “It wasn’t careful diplomacy that ended your inane civil war. It was never about the organisation.” 

She raises up the writ up even higher and addresses the entire Council, “It was people doing what was necessary.” 

“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” dropping the writ onto the floor. “I have a world to save,” she pauses. “Again.” 

As she starts walking back towards the door Lavellan proclaims, “Effectively immediately, the Inquisition is disbanded.”

[elfrootaddict]

Now You Know - Chapter 1/8

DESCRIPTION: Experience (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and feelings during the final cut scene of the Trespasser DLC. Including her experience when she loses the Anchor.

Chapter 1 ¦ Chapter 2 ¦ Chapter 3 ¦ Chapter 4 ¦ Chapter 5 ¦ Chapter 6 ¦ Chapter 7 ¦ Chapter 8

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

To all those in Solavellan Hell, 

I have written this to not only express my emotions but to hopefully capture some of yours, too. 

After completing Trespasser, and going through the hell that is the final cut scene, I had to do something. So, to help myself work through it, I’ve written (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and experiences down during the DLC’s final cut scene.

This is my very first FanFic, so I hope it doesn’t turn out completely terrible. *fingers crossed*

Happy Dragon 4ge Day!

WARNING: Chapter 6 contains a moment of distress and gore. Read with sensitivity and discretion. 

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

CHAPTER 1

Lavellan is so close to losing everything.

The Inquisition, her companions and even her own life. But especially…him.

This time, the fight with the Saarath is almost too much for her to deal with. The Anchor constantly needing to be released is distraction enough, nevermind the fact that she keeps asking herself…

Where is he?!

She had enough of this. She needs to get to him before the Viddasala.

Okay. Concentrate. You need to end this and find him.

With all the energy left within her, she breaks the Seerath’s shield using Rift magic. The Seerath is not prepared to counter such magic as it is new and unknown to him - it’s one of Lavellan’s advantages. 

With his shield obliterated, she needs to release enough built up magic onto him which would annihilate him completely. 

Taking too long however would not only kill the Saarath, but it would kill her and her companions as well. Precision and timing is everything here. There would be no second chance.

The energy building up within the Anchor is too much for her. It has never been like this. She is used to the electric shocks when closing a rift, followed buy an unusual warmth and sensitivity at the tips of her fingers. But this time, it was different. 

And it is terrifying.

For the first time since receiving the mark, Lavellan is afraid of her own hand. Her own hand could be what kills her. 

Every cell and nerve feels like they are on fire. While simultaneously being electrocuted. As the pressure begins to rise, her hand starts to expand and swell. It feels like it’s being crushed under immense pressure. Ready to explode. Blowing her all the way to Falon’Din.

“Boss! He’s down!” shouts The Iron Bull from across the way. 

Not yet. I need to be sure this will work.

Lavellan has only enough in her for the basic elemental spells. She traps the Saarath in a dome of electricity shortly followed by a ball of fire. A basic attack but enough to keep him down a little while longer. 

“Inquisitor! Quickly!” cries Dorian while healing Varric from what appears to be a profusely bleeding head wound.

Almost.

Without warning, the Saarath levitates off the ground with arms stretched out, back arched and head tilted. He appears to be in control but also looks like a prisoner in his own lyrium riddled body. As if the lyrium is fighting back for him. He’s entire body lights up and creates a kind of barrier. 

“We can’t touch this guy! Use your mark!” barks Iron Bull.

Now! And then go to him!

Lavellan starts screaming as she sprints towards the Saarath. Their eyes meet. Falling to her knees and using her right hand, she clutches onto her left forearm for support and expels the built up magic inside her. 

It is in this moment when time stands still. While the Saarath is disintegrating right in front of her eyes, she can only hear his voice, “It was not supposed to happen this way. No matter what comes, I want you to know that what we had was real.”

Then everything goes dark and quiet. 

Coming in and out of consciousness, Lavellan finds herself several meters away from where she once was. 

Is it done? Please let it be done. 

Several footsteps come running towards her.

“Inquisitor! Are you alright?” cries Dorian while rushing to her side.

“Boss! Did you see what your mark did? You really kicked that guys ass! Boom!” shouts Iron Bull and proceeds to wipe away at his arms and shoulders. “I might still have some of him on me though.” And promptly cleans his hands onto Dorian. 

“Wha-,” protests Dorian. “Do you mind?!” giving Bull a look that Lavellan has seen him make all too often. 

Leaning down towards the Inquisitor, Varric hands her what is left of his last health potion, “Here, take this.”

Lavellan downs the potion like it is one of Bull’s maraas-lok drinks and takes Varric’s hand. He helps her up while Iron Bull and Dorian exchange a few more innocent, playful insults towards each other. 

Once standing and realising she is alive, she clears her throat and says, “I...I have to go.” 

And without bothering to hear what anyone else has to say about her decision, she pushes through her friends and runs straight towards the eluvian.

Dorian proceeds to run after her but Bull puts his arm out in front of him and says, “Let her go.”

Finding herself in front of this eluvian makes her pause. She needs only a moment. She closes her eyes and can only hear her heart pounding inside her chest. It is beating so fast and her breathing so stressed. The Anchor starts to build up yet again. She is running out of time.

She has made bigger decisions than this. The safety of Thedas has been resting on her shoulders since the Conclave - how could she not walk through this eluvian now? It is so simple. 

And yet, it feels like it is the hardest decision she will ever have to make in her entire life. 

What if she did not like what she finds on the other side? What if his reason for leaving the way he did was in fact, the right thing for him to have done? What if after all this time, she finds herself left with more questions than answers? 

She is so desperate for answers. 

And if he does tell her everything, would he still be the same in her eyes? Would she still be the same in his? 

By the Dread Wolf! Just walk through it!

It has been two years since she heard his golden voice. His eyes. His touch. That damn smile. She would give anything to hear him call her vhenan once more. Just one more time. If that is all she is allowed to have, it is worth risking it all.

I know he will explain. I would walk to the end of the world for him. Var lath vir suledin, vhenan.

Lavellan extends her right hand in front of her and into the eluvian. Breaking through the magical mirror, she steps forward and disappears to the otherside.

[elfrootaddict]

Now You Know - Chapter 2/8

CONTAINS SPOILERS - DO NOT READ ON UNTIL YOU HAVE COMPLETED DAI TRESPASSER DLC!

DESCRIPTION: Experience (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and feelings during the final cut scene of the Trespasser DLC. Including her experience when she loses the Anchor.

Chapter 1 ¦ Chapter 2 ¦ Chapter 3 ¦ Chapter 4 ¦ Chapter 5 ¦ Chapter 6 ¦ Chapter 7 ¦ Chapter 8

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

To all those in Solavellan Hell,

I have written this to not only express my emotions but to hopefully capture some of yours, too.

After completing Trespasser, and going through the hell that is the final cut scene, I had to do something. So, to help myself work through it, I’ve written (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and experiences down during the DLC’s final cut scene.

This is my very first FanFic, so I hope it doesn’t turn out completely terrible. *fingers crossed*

Happy Dragon 4ge Day!

WARNING: Chapter 6 contains a moment of distress and gore. Read with sensitivity and discretion.

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

CHAPTER 2

Lavellan steps out of the eluvian.

She turns around and faces the magic mirror - there is no going back now. 

Turning back around she is immediately startled. A Qunari warrior lunges straight towards her, axe in hand - turned to stone. 

After composing herself, she looks passed the Qunari warrior and notices a couple dozen more of the same. All frozen in time by being turned to stone. Every single one posed mid-attack. They were clearly unprepared.

Who did this? I’ve never seen much magic. 

Realising she doesn’t have the time to quench her curiosity, she presses forward and winds her way through the maze of stone-frozen Qunari, looking to see if Solas has also met such an end. 

Don’t you dare die on me, vhenan! Not before I get to tell you how mad I am at you! 

She reaches a flight of stairs, decorated buy two large stag statues on either side. On the horizon, lying between the castle rubble, is another eluvian. It is significantly bigger than the other eluvians she’s passed through. This one is poised so elegantly. It’s so beautiful standing against the sun light. She wonders how many Ancient Elves have walked these paths. And what this eluvian’s original purpose was. 

She could only imagine what Solas would have to say about a place like this. She loves listening to his stories about the Fade and the wisdom he had gathered during his journeys. She would find any excuse to hear him speak to her. His voice always calmed and soothed her. 

“Ebasit Kata. Itwa-ost.” says the only voice that could make Lavellan’s heart stop for just a moment. A voice that could belong to no one else.

Solas!

“Maraas Kata!” insists the Viddasala.

Lavellan starts running up the stairs towards the eluvian. She notices two silhouettes. One being the Viddasala and other belonging to a physique she knows all too well.

Solas calmly replies, “Your forces have failed. Leave now, and tell the Qunari to trouble me no further.”

Lavellan finally reaches the top of the stairs and stops dead in her tracks. The Viddasala, with her back to the Inquisitor, is facing Solas and seems to be hesitating. 

With all her Qunari forces dead or turned to stone, and with the demands of the Qun, she has but only one option left. 

With his arms crossed behind him and steadily walking towards the eluvian, the Viddasala attempts to impale Solas with her spear. Without hesitation Solas stops. Not even making so much as eye contact, he turns the Viddasala to stone. 

Witnessing Solas effortlessly turn the Viddasala to stone causes Lavellan to step back and hold her breath. She wonders how such magic could even exist. How a single mage, such as Solas, could possess such talents and not even mention a word of it to her? 

Had she not earned his trust? Had she not shown where her loyalties lie? What more could he be hiding?

When he told her the truth about her vallaslin, she had him remove it. Being Dalish, he knew what it meant to her and the weight that decision carried. Did that not prove her ability to understand and accept the truth? No matter how hard it is for her to hear? 

The Anchor starts reaching its limit once more and needs to be released. With all that is happening in front of her, she almost forgets about the pain she is going through and how at any moment the Anchor can simply kill her.

Not now! 

She hesitates. She thinks to not even call out his name. What would she discover once she announces her presence? Maybe he knew she was there and waited to see if she would even say anything? 

She is now staring at the one person, in the whole of Thedas, who holds her heart in his hands. 

He holds his cards so close. She wears her heart on her sleeve. But she is also no fool. And she is going to get the answers she feels she deserves. 

Say his name. Don’t let him walk away again. 

Confident in her decision, Lavellan calls after him, “Solas.”

Solas stops and slowly turns around to face her. 

They lock eyes.

It takes every ounce of her willpower not to run to him. Embrace him. Kiss him. Yell at him and then burst into tears like a child. How often she pictured the day that she would see him again. All the things she wanted to say to him. How angry she has been. To tell him it took everything she had to forgive him for leaving her the way that he did. Before defeating Corypheus, he promised to explain everything. 

Lavellan starts slowly walking towards him. She feels as if she is hunting prey and doesn’t want to scare it off by moving too quickly. She would rather be fighting a High Dragon. She knows what to do with a High Dragon.

His armour reflecting the sunlight immediately catches her attention. It is similar to what Abelas was wearing at the temple of Mythal. How did Solas manage to get such ancient armour? 

And in addition, Solas is wearing a wolf’s pelt flung over his right shoulder and tucked into his belt. An interesting choice. Was this his way of announcing his loyalty to Fen’Harel? Is this what the Viddasala meant?

The armour has this aura of power and respect to it. She begins to realise Solas seems...different. The way in which he’s holding himself. His mannerism and overflowing confidence. He is so beautiful to look at but also carries this air of danger. Why did she feel like she is the one being hunted instead?

Almost at arm's length, the power of the Anchor abrupts and all her pretenses fall away. Using her right hand to support her left forearm, she cries and screams out in pain. Every build up gets worse and more excruciating. Lavellan is now at the mercy of the Anchor once again. 

With still no change in his demeanor, Solas’s eyes illuminate with magic and the Anchor promptly stops as if it is under his command. 

What? How did he do that? 

The pain the Anchor was causing suddenly falls flat. Lavellan manages to stand to her feet and tries to regain her composure. 

Solas looks deep into her eyes and says, “That should give us more time,” and with a slight tilt of his head and a subtle smile of affiliation he continues. “I suspect you have questions.”

[elfrootaddict]

Now You Know - Chapter 6/8

CONTAINS SPOILERS - DO NOT READ ON UNTIL YOU HAVE COMPLETED DAI TRESPASSER DLC!

DESCRIPTION: Experience (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and feelings during the final cut scene of the Trespasser DLC. Including her experience when she loses the Anchor.

Chapter 1 ¦ Chapter 2 ¦ Chapter 3 ¦ Chapter 4 ¦ Chapter 5 ¦ Chapter 6 ¦ Chapter 7 ¦ Chapter 8

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

To all those in Solavellan Hell,

I have written this to not only express my emotions but to hopefully capture some of yours, too.

After completing Trespasser, and going through the hell that is the final cut scene, I had to do something. So, to help myself work through it, I’ve written (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and experiences down during the DLC’s final cut scene.

This is my very first FanFic, so I hope it doesn’t turn out completely terrible. *fingers crossed*

Happy Dragon 4ge Day!

WARNING: Chapter 6 contains a moment of distress and gore. Read with sensitivity and discretion.

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

CHAPTER 6

A lot of time has passed since Solas walked through the eluvian - which is now locked. 

Lying on the ground, Lavellan wakes up. The pain from the Anchor had caused her to pass out. She sits herself up and looks down at the mark on her palm. It is starting to die. The bright, luminous green magic is fading. 

Black as coal and lying on her lap, she can no longer feel anything from her fingertips to her elbow.

Using her fingers from her right hand, she traces over her palm where the mark used to be. Her dead skin, muscles and bones collapse under such a subtle gesture and creates a pile of ash on her lap.

Throwing herself forward, she finally regurgitates. She tries to balance using both her hands and fails. 

She falls over onto her left side, hitting her head on the cold stone and is left looking at her own vomit. And then eventually her stump… covered in dried blood. 

She closes her eyes. 

Lavellan pictures Solas changing his mind. She imagines him walking back through the eluvian and proclaiming nothing was worth losing her over and he was going to make everything alright. He would pick her up in his arms, and using one of the eluvians he would then carry her all the way back to Skyhold. 

They would then declare their love for one another, for the whole of Thedas to see, and build a home in the Emerald Graves. They would dedicate their lives to re-educating the Dalish and other elves all over Thedas about Elvhenan and the Evanuris. And eventually have little ones of their own. 

Lavellan shifts onto her back. Looking up at the stars in the night sky, she cries out in anguish. She didn’t care. No one was there to hear her. 

After a little while, she eventually sits up and sees the stone-frozen Viddasala. Another victim of his. She wishes she was the Viddasala instead. But she quickly stops herself.

No. You are alive. You can still do something. 

Remembering that she can only use her right arm, she pushes herself up and looks back onto the locked eluvian. In her mind she declares a promise:

I will find you, Solas. You will see that yours isn't the only path to walk. Our love will open your eyes to see what you already know to be true in your heart and mind. Dareth’Shiral, vhenan. 

And with that, Lavellan slowly makes her way back to the eluvian she came through before. 

Coming through the other side she sees Varric, Iron Bull and Dorian waiting for her. 

Varric with his arms crossed leaning against a broken pillar and Bull watching Dorian pace up and down while also muttering things to himself in Tevene. He only does this when he is truly upset.

Standing up straight, Varric cries, “Inquisitor!”

Dorian stops and all three men are looking at her - in complete, utter disbelief. She never thought she would see Iron Bull’s jaw drop, “Boss?”

Lavellan walks up to her company and says, “He’s gone. I couldn’t do more.”

Dorian looks at her missing forearm and cries, “What happened?! Did he do this to you?” 

Looking down at her missing limb she answers, “Yes. He saved my life.”

“Are you alright?” asks Varric with deep concern. 

“No.”

“Shall we talk about this back at the Winter Palace, boss?” asks Bull looking quite unsettled. 

“Yes. I think that would be best.” murmurs Lavellan.

They all turn around and start making their way back to the Winter Palace. 

Bull puts his arm around Lavellan and says, “You’ll get used to it. It just adds character. Trust me.”

[elfrootaddict]

Now You Know - Chapter 5/8

CONTAINS SPOILERS - DO NOT READ ON UNTIL YOU HAVE COMPLETED DAI TRESPASSER DLC!

DESCRIPTION: Experience (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and feelings during the final cut scene of the Trespasser DLC. Including her experience when she loses the Anchor.

Chapter 1 ¦ Chapter 2 ¦ Chapter 3 ¦ Chapter 4 ¦ Chapter 5 ¦ Chapter 6 ¦ Chapter 7 ¦ Chapter 8

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

To all those in Solavellan Hell,

I have written this to not only express my emotions but to hopefully capture some of yours, too.

After completing Trespasser, and going through the hell that is the final cut scene, I had to do something. So, to help myself work through it, I’ve written (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and experiences down during the DLC’s final cut scene.

This is my very first FanFic, so I hope it doesn’t turn out completely terrible. *fingers crossed*

Happy Dragon 4ge Day!

WARNING: Chapter 6 contains a moment of distress and gore. Read with sensitivity and discretion.

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

CHAPTER 5

When Lavellan was still Keeper Deshanna’s First, her priority was always to her clan and to the elves. Whether they were Dalish, city-born, followed the Qun or slaves of Tevinter. She always held the deepest, most sincere hope that there would come a day when the elves could be what they once were. That there was a forgotten ruin that contained the key to achieving that dream. Surely the past was better than their present? The answer was out there somewhere.

But after being thrown into the role as Inquisitor, she saw both the true beauty and ugliness of Thedas. Even though Keeper Deshanna had an open mind about the shemlen, which helped her not be so narrow-minded like other Dalish elves, she still hadn’t really seen the whole of Thedas.

There is a vast array of beliefs, cultures and practices. So many different types of shemlen! They truly weren’t one and the same. After her years as Inquisitor, she realised how small her world really was amongst the Dalish. 

This world may not be what it once was. It may not be Elvhenan. But it is still magnificent. It is my home. Everybody matters. The elves are not the one and only important race. No time is more important than another. 

Lavellan wants to do right by the Elvhen and improve their lives. Solas is that missing key. He can achieve what she has been dreaming for her people. But her eyes have been opened to what Thedas contained. It cannot be destroyed. 

She can also see how incredibly torn Solas is. Does he truly want to do this? Does he even have a choice?

There has to be another way. A different way. We can figure it out together, vhenan.

“Let me help you Solas.” begs Lavellan.

With his back still towards her, he rejects her assistance, “I cannot do that to you, vhenan.” 

She thinks back to being in the Fade. Solas’s gravestone of fear read ‘dying alone’. He did not see her notice it. She’s kept this knowledge of him to herself. But nevertheless, she knows one of his deepest fears and this causes great distress in her heart.

With her voice shaking and desperate she cries, “But you would do it to yourself? I cannot bear to think of you alone.”

“I walk the Din’Anshiral,” replies Solas with distress. “There is only death on this journey. I would not have you see what I become.”

Crushed, Lavellan closes her yes and drops her head. 

I will always love you, Solas. I will always accept you. Don’t you understand? 

Turning around to face Lavellan, Solas’s tone of voice changes. He is always better at suppressing his emotions than she is. Like simply blowing out a candle’s flame. 

In a matter-of-fact sort of way, Solas changes the subject, “It is my fight. You should be more concerned about the Inquisition. Your Inquisition. In stopping the Dragon’s Breath, you have prevented an invasion by Qunari forces. With luck, they will return their forces to Tevinter. That should give you a few years of relative peace.”

With her emotions all over the place, that nearly makes her burst out laughing. Why would he suddenly care about the safety of Thedas, when moments ago he declared he was planning on destroying it? And was it really ‘her’ Inquisition? Solas has clearly been using the Inquisition to right a wrong. How many spies are there? She didn’t believe herself to be naive, but now she feels foolish. She does not like to be made a fool of. 

Now frustrated, her anger helps focus her thoughts. She is still Inquisitor and is going to get as much information out of him as possible. She knows she isn’t going to get a chance like this again.

“The Qunari said the Inquisition was unknowingly working for the agents of Fen’Harel.” asks Lavellan angrily, feeling deceived.

“I gave no orders.” Solas replies promptly.

Irritated she says, “You led us to Skyhold.”

“Corypheus should of died unlocking my Orb. When he survived, my plans were thrown into chaos,” he pauses. “When you survived, I saw the Inquisition as the best hope this world had of stopping him. And you needed a home. Hence, Skyhold.”

“You gave your Orb to Corypheus?” Lavellan asks with disgust. 

“Not directly,” Solas answers. “My agents allowed the Venatori to locate it. The Orb had built up magical energy while I lay unconscious for millennia. I was not powerful enough to open it. The plan was for Corypheus to unlock it, and for the resulting explosion to kill him. Then I would claim the Orb.” 

Solas looks down towards the ground and shakes his head in disbelief. “I did not forsee a Tevinter magister having learned the secret of effective immortality.”

With a quiet and downcast voice she asks, “What would have happened if Corypheus had died and you’d recovered the Orb?”

With his face unveiling the amount of remorse in his heart, “I would have entered the Fade, using the mark you now bear. Then I would have torn down the Veil. As this world burned in the raw chaos, I would have restored the world of my time… the world of the elves.”

“If you destroyed the Veil, wouldn’t the false gods be freed?” Lavellan asks alarmed. 

“I had plans.” he answers assertively. 

Lavellan is picturing Solas as... Corypheus. He has indeed changed in her eyes. In her mind's eye she sees him holding the Orb and disintegrating the Veil. She can’t stomach the fact that, should things have turned out as planned, Solas would of been the one responsible for the chaos that ensued. 

He is so tenderhearted, thoughtful, respectable and gentle. She can hear Varric saying, “It’s always the quiet ones.”

She knows his heart. But his mind has always been a mystery. She refuses to believe that Solas is completely alone in this decision. There has to be more elements at play here. 

She can see his heart and mind battling each other. He may be good at playing nonchalant, but she knows him better than he realises. There is something he is not telling her. Perhaps if he did, he would have to admit he needs help. Her help. 

Shaking her head in disbelief, “I never thought of you as someone who would do that, Solas.”

He looks away with relief, “Thank you.” 

Solas attempts to convince her, “You must understand. I awoke in a world where the Veil had blocked most people’s conscious connection to the Fade. It was like walking through a world of Tranquil.”

Disturbed she asks, “We aren’t even people to you?”

“Not at first,” he says. “You showed me that I was wrong… again,” looking down with guilt he murmurs. “That does make what must come next any easier.” 

Despite all that has transpired, Solas still stayed to defeat Corypheus. Even though it seems pointless to her now, she always prided herself in displaying her appreciation towards others. It is something Keeper Deshanna ingrained into her.

“Whatever your reasons,” says Lavellan. “We couldn’t have defeated Corypheus without you.”

“Your doubts are misplaced,” declares Solas. “Everything you accomplished, you earned.” 

Lavellan feels comforted by his praise. She constantly craves for his approval in her decisions. He always had a wealth of knowledge and wisdom on hand. She thrives on learning from those around her and Solas had in abundance. 

Remembering his concern over the Inquisition, she has to know his thoughts on the matter. He would clearly offer sound advice that would be imperative to hear. 

“What’s wrong with the Inquisition?” she inquires. 

Solas gladly bestows his counsel, “You created a powerful organisation, and now it suffers the inevitable fate of such: betrayal and corruption.”

“It’s not that simple.” says Lavellan ignorantly. 

With an air of superiority he explains, “Do you know how I discovered the Qunari plot? The plot I disrupted by leading them to your doorstep? The Qunari spies in the Inquisition tripped over my spies in the Inquisition. The elven guard who let you to the Qunari body, who intercepted the servant with the gaatlok barrel? Mine.”

“Why bother disrupting the Qunari plot, if you’re going to destroy the world regardless?” asks Lavellan in disgust. 

He answers sympathetically, “You have shown me that there is value in this world, Inquisitor. I take no joy in what I must do. Until that day comes, I would see those recovering from the Breach free of the Qun.”

“Why?” she asks bewildered. 

“Because I am not a monster,” proclaims Solas. “If they must die, I would rather they die in comfort.” he pauses. “In any event, it is done.”

Lavellan feels indebted to him. He helped her and Thedas… again. 

“I guess we owe you for that one, too.”

“I hope it gives your people some final peace.”

Without warning, Lavellan feels her mark starting to violently pulse in the palm of her hand. Cursing the Anchor in her mind she realises she has finally run out of time. Unlike Solas, she has never had a problem admitting she needs help. She needs his help. And she needs it now.

Trying to shake away the pain, in discomfort she says, “There’s still the matter of the Anchor. It’s getting worse.”

Solas looks away with grief, “I know, vhenan. And we are running out of time.”

And just like that, the Anchor flares up and it is the worst pain she has ever felt. It completely cripples her and she is unable to stand. The Anchor even propels her body forward. She has absolutely no control. Clenching and supporting her left forearm with her right hand, she grunts and cries with agony.

Solas slowly kneels down in front of her and says, “The mark will eventually kill you. Drawing you here gave me the chance to save you… at least for now.”

Lavellan feels she finally understands his determination and conviction. Solas is a loyal servant of Mythal. He knew the All-Mother. From the Dalish tales and what Solas has described, Mythal was clearly the voice of reason amongst the Evanuris. She was wise in her judgements and loved by all who lived in Elvhenan. Solas’s loyalty to Mythal is enduring. And therefore, Solas has to see Mythal avenged and the lives of the elves restored to what it once was.

If she was in Solas’s position, she would also most likely be making the same choice. 

Their love did complicate matters. It was clearly unforeseen and something neither of them expected. 

Nevertheless, their love did happen. Their love has turned into a force unto itself. You can feel it in the air around them. It didn’t diminish in the time that they were apart - if anything, it only grew stronger. 

Even if Solas wouldn’t admit it to her or himself, she knows this is not the end. She knows him to be stubborn but she is stubborn, too. 

I may not save you today, my heart. But I will save you from yourself. I will not give up on you.

The Anchor has almost depleted all the energy she has left in her. She can feel her mind beginning to fade. The pain is just too much. 

In a desperate attempt, she cries, “Solas, var lath vir suledin!”

Looking down with remorse he says, “I wish it could, vhenan.”

Lavellan no longer holds back her tears. She has no more energy left for pretenses. Between the pain in her heart and her hand she can’t tell which one is more agonising.

Solas starts to lean in closer to her and whispers, “My love…”

Holding the side of her face in his hand, he guides her closer to him. His eyes light up with the same magic as before. Lavellan tries her best to ignore the pain of the Anchor and to just focus on him. 

She has never felt more at peace than when he is this close to her. This is where she belonged. This is where he belonged. When he finally kisses her, she can feel his yearning. She can feel his heart being torn in two. 

Should the Anchor kill her now, there would be no better way to die. She is in his embrace and that is all she could ask for. 

It doesn’t have to be this way, my Dread Wolf! You could stay! I can see it on your face!

Solas slowly stands up. With utter despair, only for her to hear, he whispers, “I will never forget you.”

Lavellan is still on her knees. The Anchor renders her powerless. She cannot move. She cannot run after him. 

He is walking away. 

For whatever it is worth, she can still use her voice. She has to try. 

With Solas almost reaching the eluvian, and with tears flooding down her face she cries after him, “Don’t leave me like this! Solas! Solas!”

Solas reaches the Eluvian. He stops. 

And without looking back, he steps through.

[elfrootaddict]

Now You Know - Chapter 4/8

CONTAINS SPOILERS - DO NOT READ ON UNTIL YOU HAVE COMPLETED DAI TRESPASSER DLC!

DESCRIPTION: Experience (first) Lavellan’s thoughts and feelings during the final cut scene of the Trespasser DLC. Including her experience when she loses the Anchor.

Chapter 1 ¦ Chapter 2 ¦ Chapter 3 ¦ Chapter 4 ¦ Chapter 5 ¦ Chapter 6 ¦ Chapter 7 ¦ Chapter 8

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

To all those in Solavellan Hell,

I have written this to not only express my emotions but to hopefully capture some of yours, too.

After completing Trespasser, and going through the hell that is the final cut scene, I had to do something. So, to help myself work through it, I’ve written (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and experiences down during the DLC’s final cut scene.

This is my very first FanFic, so I hope it doesn’t turn out completely terrible. *fingers crossed*

Happy Dragon 4ge Day!

WARNING: Chapter 6 contains a moment of distress and gore. Read with sensitivity and discretion.

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

CHAPTER 4

“I sought to set my people free from slavery to would-be gods. Broke the chains of all who wished to join me,” Solas stops before the edge. “The false gods called me Fen’Harel, and when they finally went too far, I formed the Veil and banished them forever. Thus I freed the Elven people and, in so doing, destroyed their world.”

Solas is only at arms length from her, but the air feels thick and tense. The look on his face makes her heart ache. All she wants to do is hold him close to her chest and tell him that everything will be alright. That despite all that has befallen him, she knows his heart. His decisions would have never been made in spite or malice. She can see the weight on his shoulders and wants nothing more than to take it all away. 

“How did creating the Veil destroy the world?” she asks innocently.

With sorrow he looks at Lavellan and answers, “You saw the remains of Vir Dirthara. The Library was intrinsically tried to Fade, and the Veil destroyed it. There were countless other marvels, all dependent on the presence of the Fade, all destroyed,” in a softer tone. “Your legends are half-right. We were immortal. It was not the arrival of the humans that caused us to begin aging,” he pauses and looks remorsefully towards the ruined city below. “It was me. The Veil took everything from the Elves, even themselves.”

Halam’shivanas.

Lavellan suddenly feels incredibly small and inadequate beside him. She has always felt close to be his equal. Not in knowledge, for she is still young in years, but in her magic abilities. Now she truly feels the only word to describe herself in his presence is ‘da’len’. 

How can she even begin to compare herself to him? Her abilities and achievements are dwarfed in comparison to his.

Now thinking of Solas, she realises the impact of his decision in creating the Veil and how it affected him. How it still affects him.

Ir abelas, ma vhenan. 

“But you love the Fade. Why would you create the Veil to hide it all away?” Lavellan asks with deep concern and grief for him. 

“Because every alternative was worse.” he answers simply.

“Meaning?” she presses. 

“Had I not created the Veil, the Evanuris would have destroyed the entire world.” 

“You banished the false gods - you didn’t kill them?” asks Lavellan confused. Wouldn’t killing them been easier? The simplest choice? Then again, who was she to question.

Looking proud he smirks, “You met Mythal, did you not? The first of my people do not die so easily. The Evanuris are banished forever, paying the ultimate price for their misdeeds.”

Being in Inquisitor, she has to be judge, jury and executioner but she believes in redemption. She believes people can change, even if they couldn’t see it in themselves. 

She is a merciful ruler but never let evil go unpunished. And sometimes the punishment was death. But she never took such a decision lightly. And never let anyone else carry it out. 

For if she is not willing to do it herself, then she would not ask for it from others. This is something she learnt from Cassandra in the early days of Skyhold. A principle she still holds close to her heart.

Lavellan wonders what the Evanuris could have possibly done to receive such a fate. Was it something they did in this war he mentioned? Was it for having slaves? To her, neither answer was fitting of such a punishment. 

With curiosity she asks, “You said that the Elven gods went too far. What did they do that made you move against them?”

Looking disgusted, Solas answers, “They killed Mythal,” he lets out an unexpected, quiet chuckle. “A crime for which an eternity of torment is the only fitting punishment.”

The All-Mother? How could she have been slain? She is - was - a god!

“I thought Mythal was one of the Evanuris.” replies Lavellan with confidence in her knowledge on elven history. A slight, desperate attempt to impress him. Remind him she is not as ignorant as she clearly feels.

Looking low-spirited he says, “She was the best of them. She cared for her people. She protected them. She was a voice of reason,” Solas looks away with rage burning in his eyes. “And in their lust for power, they killed her.”

Lavellan couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her entire belief system and faith in her gods comes crashing down. She feels like someone is standing on her chest. 

She has always pitied the shemlen for their beliefs. Not out of a false sense of superiority. She just feels they clearly didn’t know any better and were a product of their environment. Nothing more. She was constantly refuting, since the Conclave, that she is not the Herald of Andraste. But now...she starts to pity herself.  

The Evanuris are just… people?

Without wanting to sound hysterical she swallows hard and manages to calmly ask, “The Evanuris were elven mages? How did they come to be remembered as gods?”

Solas looks at her with a face distorted with melancholy and sorrow. 

He eventually answers, “Slowly. It started with a war. War breeds fear. Fear breeds a desire for simplicity. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Chains of command.” 

He looks back at her, “After the war ended, generals became respected elders, then kings, and finally gods,”  like a bad taste in his mouth he proclaims. “The Evanuris.”

Lavellan needs time. As strong as she believes herself to be, she wishes that she had the luxury to take just a moment to absorb everything Solas is telling her.

He’s the Dread Wolf. He created the Veil. Mythal murdered. The Creators are self-proclaimed gods. 

She did not know what to expect when walking through that eluvian but to have the man she loves, the understanding of her world and her gods change radically within a small amount of time, makes her feel sick.

How is it that the whole of Thedas does not remember any of this? How did the Dalish not know this? The events which transpired in Elvhenan were inconceivable! Lavellan’s blood starts to boil over the loss of such precious knowledge of her people.

She starts feeling vexed and deceived. And that makes her livid. But she needs to remain calm. She can’t let her emotions get the better of her. She knows that should the tears start to fall, they would never stop. She can lose her shit later. 

Wanting to move on she asks, “That’s the past. What about the future?”

Turning his back to Lavellen, Solas starts to walk towards the Eluvian and she promptly starts to follow him. 

He replies, “I lay in dark and dreaming sleep while countless wars and ages passed. I woke still weak a year before I joined you. My people fell for what I did to strike the Evanuris down, but still some hope remains for restoration.” 

Solas falls silent. Lavellan can feel the tension in the air. She listens most intently. She is hanging onto his every word. Who knows how many are left.

Then he abruptly stops and says, “I will save the elven people, even if it means this world must die.”

[elfrootaddict]

Now You Know - Chapter 3/8

CONTAINS SPOILERS - DO NOT READ ON UNTIL YOU HAVE COMPLETED DAI TRESPASSER DLC!

DESCRIPTION: Experience (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and feelings during the final cut scene of the Trespasser DLC. Including her experience when she loses the Anchor.

Chapter 1 ¦ Chapter 2 ¦ Chapter 3 ¦ Chapter 4 ¦ Chapter 5 ¦ Chapter 6 ¦ Chapter 7 ¦ Chapter 8

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

To all those in Solavellan Hell,

I have written this to not only express my emotions but to hopefully capture some of yours, too.

After completing Trespasser, and going through the hell that is the final cut scene, I had to do something. So, to help myself work through it, I’ve written (my first) Lavellan’s thoughts and experiences down during the DLC’s final cut scene.

This is my very first FanFic, so I hope it doesn’t turn out completely terrible. *fingers crossed*

Happy Dragon 4ge Day!

WARNING: Chapter 6 contains a moment of distress and gore. Read with sensitivity and discretion.

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

CHAPTER 3

You suspect I have questions? If there is an understated question in the whole of Thedas to the Fade, Solas, this would be it. 

With the anchor subdued, Lavellan uses a trick when in battle to calm her mind. But in spite of that, adrenaline is surging through her body and her heart is beating so fast. His gaze on her makes her legs feel weak. She wants nothing more than for him to hold her and tell her how much she means to him. How much he missed her.

With a steady voice she asks, “How were you able to control the Anchor?” 

Solas solemnly replies, “The same way as when I stopped it from killing you at Haven… although I am stronger now. The mark you bear was bestowed upon you by the Orb of Fen’Harel,” he pauses. “My Orb.”

Lavellan nearly loses her balance. 

His Orb?!

Within a split second, everything starts to make sense and all the puzzle pieces start to fall into place. 

He’s the Dread Wolf. He’s Fen’Harel. Mir Harellan!

She feels her stomach drop. She has to hold back the need to regurgitate from the shock of reality. She is no longer looking at her vhenan, but a living legend. All the tales from the Dalish comes bounding over her. 

She can hear the voice of Keeper Deshanna, “They trusted Fen’Harel, and they were all betrayed. And Fen’Harel sealed them away so they could never again walk among the People.” 

But like a much needed cool breeze on a hot summer’s day, the tales of Fen’Harel in the Crossroads reminds her that the Keeper was wrong. They got it all wrong. 

Lavellan manages a quiet and simple response, “You’re Fen’Harel.” 

She can hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth.

“I was Solas first. ‘Fen’Harel’ came later,” shuffling his feet. “An insult I took as a badge of pride. The Dread Wolf inspired hope in my friends and fear in my enemies… not unlike ‘Inquisitor’ I suppose,” looking mournful and downhearted. “And now you know.” 

Turning away from Lavellan, he breaks eye contact. He can barely look at her. “What is the old Dalish curse? ‘May the Dread Wolf take you’?”

Lavellan also looks away and far into the distance, falling deep into thought.

She thinks back to what followed that night after their kiss on the balcony. It was never far from her mind's eye. 

His fingers running through her hair. Fanatically embracing and kissing every inch of her. As if the world was going to end the very next day. All his reservations tossed to the floor. Just like their clothes. 

Despite discovering who Fen’Harel really was in the Crossroads, she still feels used and betrayed. Was he just using her to get what he wanted?

He is the only person she has ever been with. He is the only person who understands her heart, mind and soul. 

When she was younger, before being Keeper Deshanna’s First, there had been a few flirtations amongst other Dalish elves when their paths crossed. But they were innocent and usually led to nothing.

But with Solas…

Shaking her head in disbelief she replies despondently, “And so he did.”

“I did not. I would not lay with you under false pretenses.” replies Solas looking at Lavellan for some kind of reassurance for his decision. 

But you felt withholding the truth from me was better?

Lavellan’s patience is wearing thin. She is so incredibly sick of his games and treating her like a child. She is more than capable of handling the truth. Despite how much he means to her, she values the truth above all things. 

He made this decision for her. He never gave her the opportunity to decide for herself if she wanted to take no part in his life. He stole that from her.

Still looking away from Solas, she responds angrily, “But you lied to me. I love you,” and in desperation she asks. “Did you really think I wouldn’t have understood?”

Solas drops his head like a child being scolded and quietly says, “Ir abelas, vhenan.”

“Tel’Abelas. If you care, give me the truth.” insists Lavellan. 

Turning away, Solas looks out onto the horizon. He is going to tell her everything. 

He starts walking closer to the edge of the ruins and looks down onto a forgotten, decrepit and lost elven city below. She follows him and listens intently. It feels just like the days of Skyhold. Just another one of his adventures. 

Except, it was now his story. 

Finally.

[in-arlathan]

WIP Whenever

Running late this week with the WIP stuff, but here we go. I have both writing and drawing to share with you.

Many thanks for @faerieavalon and @kunstpause for tagging me this week. Sending some addition love to @johaeryslavellan, @serial-chillr, @solas-disapproves, @midnightprelude, @noire-pandora, @charlatron, @pikapeppa​, @cornfedcryptid​, @rivainisomniari​, @schoute​, @lethendralis-paints​, @ashalle-art​, @scharoux​, @elfrootaddict​ and all the other lovely creators around here. Consider this a tag for next week’s WIP Wednesday, if you like. ♥︎

Here’s some writing from the upcoming chapter of “The Rebel’s Ascension”. Solas is not having a good time in this one. X3

With a gasp, Solas forced himself to wake up. His heart pounded heavily and sweat trickled down his temples. Beneath the armor, his tunic felt damp. He closed his eyes and drew in long shuddering breaths. It was just a dream, he told himself. He’s gone forever. They all are.

Solas stilled his mind and waited for the bad memories to sink back into the darkness. Bit by bit, new sensations rushed in. The sound of water from the fountain, a faint waft of air, the barely noticeable echo of the Song. Yet, a shadow remained. It took Solas a moment to realize that it was not an emotion that had carried over from his dream. Someone was towering over him, right there, in the Crossroads.

Before him stood an elvhen. He wore a hood that obscured his features, but Solas could catch a glimpse of the man’s face. His eyes were golden and his skin was smooth and glowing as if it was infused with the light of the moon itself. His aura caused a silent quiver in the Beyond with overlays of concern and sadness. His age was hard to guess but his controlled demeanor gave him away as spirit-born. 

“I’m glad to find you already awake, Elder,” he said and reached up.

The man drew back his hood, revealing silver hair that was cut short on the sides and braided into a thick strand along the top of his head. Mythal’s blood writing graced his cheeks and forehead.

That little cameo was something I was looking forward to, let me tell you!

And here’s a drawing I’ve started a few days ago: After re-reading parts of “Tevinter Nights” recently I wanted to try my hand at post-Trespasser Dorian, despite the mullet they gave him. So have a questionable rendition of Magister Pavus in the making.

My process is all over the place again and I’m not sure if I’m liking the drawing so far. Right now, I feel like scrapping this. But you know what? I let you people be the judge of my work, because my objectivity as flown out the window a while ago!

That’s all I got for now. I’ll jump into my Scrivener doc now, trying to prepare my notes for NaNoWriMo. Have a wonderful day, wherever you are!

[in-arlathan]

WIP Wednesday

Hello lovelies, how are you doing? I hope you’re safe and well. My week’s been quite busy but I managed to get some writing and drawing done (finally!). So here we are again, doing another WIP Wednesday.

Not sure if anyone tagged me last week and I failed to post, but I’ll tag forward to @serial-chillr, @faerieavalon, @kittimau, @johaeryslavellan, @wardenari, @charlatron, @zuendwinkel, @kunstpause, @elveny, @lethendralis-paints​, @scharoux​, @elfrootaddict​, @noire-pandora​, @kita-lavellan​ and all the other wonderful creators around here who want to participate. As always: No pressure! :)

Onto the work in progress...

I’m currently working on a new slide-in chapter for “The Rebel’s Ascension” that hadn’t been there in the first draft. And while I have so much fun writing, it escalated quickly. I’m currently 8k words in and there are still 4 more scenes in this chapter. Excellent planning on my part, lol. XD

Here’s a litte bit about Solas and Mythal in that chapter:

“Sit with me,” she said with half-closed eyes and gestured towards one of the smaller chairs. 

“There is still so much to do and you are tired.. I should–”

“Please,” Mythal intervened. “I insist.”

Solas sucked in a sharp breath and sat down in one of the chairs right beside the sofa. “Is there something I can do?”, he asked and clasped his hands in front of him.

Mythal sighed, her lips pursed into a smile. “No, my friend. You have done more than enough.”

Solas scoffed. “Why do I don’t feel like it, then?”

“That is the burden of wisdom,” Mythal pointed out, her hand gesturing languidly. “You know there is always something else to be done, some other fact that needs to be considered. But you are carrying it well. You have set the wheels in motions after all, my friend. That is brutal, thankless work. Take the moment to enjoy yourself.”

Speaking of Solas and Mythal... I also continued working on the new header image for the master post. I still need to add a few details on Solas, but I was eager to draw Mythal and so I put her in there. Here’s how these two look so far...

Still so much to do in this image too (the pauldrons on Mythal’s dress are killing me), but I like how relaxing this is. It’s been a while since I lost all track of time while drawing and I enjoy that immensely. :)

Alright, gotta go now. Have an awesome day, everyone. ♥︎

[in-arlathan]

Six Sentence Sunday

Got tagged by my very creative mutuals @elveny, @kunstpause and @faerieavalon. Thanks for thinking of me ♥︎

Currently working my way through the next chapter of “The Rebel’s Ascension”. It’s the continuation of the flashback I started in the previous chapter and I’m filling it to the brim with speculations of the history of the elves. Good times!

Also, smut. Yeah, shocking. :p

It’s been ages since I wrote something even remotely similar. It’s fun, but also very, very hard right now. I’m overthinking every sentence to make sure the prose is not too crude or too flowery. It’s a delicate balance. But hey, I’m too dumb (and to excited about the ship) to stop. Next time, it will be easier.

So here, my (almost) six sentences for Sunday.

“That was splendid,” she said and wiped her cheeks with one hand. 

Solas was still trying to find the right words for a witty reply when she took his own goblet out of his hand and set it down on the table as well. “You won’t be needing that,” she told him and reached out to him. Before he knew it, he could feel her breath on his face and her arms around his shoulders.

“We both know why I’m here,” she said softly, her lips brushing tenderly against his. “No need to act restrained anymore.”

Many thanks to my writer friends who encouraged me to give this a try again. As challenging as this might be at the moment, I’m enjoying the result so far. Thank you for your support.

Tagging forward to @johaeryslavellan, @noire-pandora​, @elfrootaddict, @serial-chillr, @cornfedcryptid, @schoute​, @pikapeppa​, @charlatron​, @wardenari​, @kemvee​, @kittimau​ and any other writer around here who wants to grab a tag. As always: No pressure!

Much love to all of you.

[in-arlathan]

Got tagged by @serial-chillr, @johaeryslavellan, @faerieavalon, and @kunstpause today. Thank you so much <3

I meant to edit Chapter 5 of “The Rebel’s Ascension” this week, but my mind keeps skipping back in forth between various scenes for various chapters that still need to be written. The following scene is from what one day will be Chapter 13. It is a conversation between Solas and Geldauran before the latter was exiled from Elvhenan.

“Last time I let you out of my sight, the All-Mother took you into her service. You can’t blame me for being worried.”

“Are you still upset about that?” Solas chuckled. “After all this time?”

Geldauran let out a long sigh. “I know you trust Mythal, but I wish you hadn’t pledged yourself to her so willingly. An elvhen with a spirit likes your should always act of his own accord.”

“I always act on my own accords, even with the vallaslin,” Solas clarified. “Besides, you seem content enough to bind others to yourself. I see enough of the People wandering around wearing your blood writing, as well as Dearn’thal’s and Anaris’s.”

“We are bound by a common cause. The blood writing only shows whom we can trust. I have no intention of exploiting our bond, just like Mythal promised you that she won’t take advantage of the magic that ties you to her.”

Solas frowned, unconvinced.

“If you say so.”

Geldauran regarded him for a long moment, an air of uncertainty about him. His eyes seemed darker than last Solas had seen them as if his friend had been staring into a void waiting for an answer to all the questions that pestered him. Solas wanted to reach out to him and pat his shoulder to help him snap out of it, but before he got the chance, Geldauran put on a broad smile. “Let’s not talk of these things any longer, Solas,” he said in a cheerful tone. “It is good to have you back. I have missed your company.”

I’m really digging the relationship between these two. It’s almost as emotionally complicated as the stuff going on between Solas and Mythal.

And now it’s time for some tags. Since many have already posted, consider this tags for next week if you want. There you go: @noire-pandora, @kita-lavellan, @midnightprelude, @schoute, @midnightprelude, @elveny, @zuendwinkel, @solas-disapproves, @cornfedcryptid, @dreamerlavellan, @elfrootaddict and everyone who likes to play. As always: No pressure!

Much love to all of you ♥︎

[in-arlathan]

Fic Writer Question (#3)

I was tagged by @kunstpause again. Thank you for thinking of me. Doing this tag was a joy!

Today’s topic: Stories you want to write but for some reason haven’t (yet)

I will focus on fanfiction because I have way too many ideas for original works that never went anywhere or have been set aside to age like a good wine. But that’s okay. When I looked into my old fanfic folder, I found some gems from back in the day that made me cackle like the fandom grandma that I am.

But why do I put stories on the shelf? When I started writing, the main reason for abandoning a project was that I simply lost momentum or hadn’t thought the story through to the end and therefore ran into some kind of roadblock. If that happened, my burning hatred for revisions kicked in. I loathed editing with all my heart. Sometimes I made the effort to edit stories I really liked but that often lead to me finding even more stuff I wanted to change so it all spiralled out of control and I got discouraged.

This changed when I picked up copywriting as my profession. Through my daily job, I learned tp persevere and to stick with difficult projects when the rubber hits the road. It also taught me that not every idea is suited to be turned in fiction. From then on, I chose the stories I wanted to work on a lot more carefully and stored the plot bunnies in a swipe file until they either blossomed into a full-fledged concept or withered away.

The result is a much slimmer WIP folder. I collect a lot of notes and see if I can evolve them or include them in running projects, but I don’t hesitate to toss stuff into the garbage.

And now on to some of the stories that never went anywhere (yet). I had a pretty wild selection of fandoms in the last 15 years, so I picked a few fics that stuck with me for one reason or another. Added gifs for that certain je ne sais quoi.

The fun begins behind the cut.

Dragon Age

Since DA is the only fandom I actively write for a the moment, the list of projects is rather short. But these two are definitely on-hold for the near future.

Demon’s Dance – I shared a bit about this one during the WIP Title Game. It’s a one-shot idea set during Inquisition with some hot takes on the magic system in the Dragon Age games. I shelved it for now because that would require a deep dive into a system that is so very inconsistent that it slowed me down. I do want to get to it one day, but I have other stuff I want to focus on right now.

Running With The Halla – Another fic set during Inquisition, but this one is supposed to be a multi-chapter. If I break it down to its very core, then this is a fix-it fic for my Lavellan after the loss of her clan. I did write a few scenes for this but I’m not sure if this fic isn’t best kept in the realm of head-canons.

Moving on to the older stuff...

Star Wars Legends

Hahaha, yes, I’m ancient. I wrote Star Wars fan fiction when there still was an Expanded Universe (aka “Legends”). One of my bigger projects back then was an old LJ claim for which I had to write 100 one-shots for a pairing of my chosing, in that case Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade. I got around to writing 25 of them before abandoning this undertaking because me one-shots get way too long and therefore take a lot of time to write. I always told myself that I would get back to it because I had way too much fun, but when the EU was all but wiped out, it totally killed my momentum.

I also had a long fic titled “No Good Deed” that was AU take on the gap between the OT and the prequels. The main twist being that Qui-Gon Jinn had survived. That thing was dark and angsty to no end because, of course, it was. I orginally planned this to be a three-part series but only managed to write about 2/3 of the first part. I don’t know why I put it aside though. It must have coincided with my move to Hamburg and my change in profession. I work a ton in that year and stepped away from writing fiction for quite some time afterwards. But I still think of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan in that fic very fondly.

If you want to see me embarrass myself: I’ve made a cover for ff.net back in the day for that fic. I might share it if someone asks. My Photoshop skills were subpar but I was enthusiastic! :D

Speaking of embarrasing WIP that never went anywhere...

Honorable Mentions

There was a CSI: Miami long fic that I used to write with my best friend back in the day titled “We Never Close”. The year 2006 was wild for us, let me tell you. I’m still not quite sure what we were thinking. But we outgrew that fandom and that fic very quickly...

There also must be a ton of Harry Potter fics lurking around somewhere that never went anywhere. One was my first attempt at writing in English and I remember that it was the hardest thing ever. Must have shelved that one back in 2008.

I think that’s all I got for you today. :)

Time to tag a few people, haha. As always, feel free to skip this one or join in. This is supposed to be fun after all: @johaeryslavellan, @kittimau, @charlatron, @serial-chillr, @faerieavalon, @cornfedcryptid, @deathvalleyqueen, @midnightprelude, @tessa1972, @elfrootaddict, @noire-pandora, @wardenari, @irlaimsaaralath, @solas-disapproves

Thanks for reading this far. Much love to all of you <3