#Economics of social status

[baldwinheights]

[relic-seeker]

i wonder what quirrel's job actually was

we get some snippets in game that yes, he was an apprentice of sorts to monomon & knows many things about hallownest in general -- but overall, we have no idea what actual things he may have researched

most fan interpretations of this i see make him very culturally aware in mostly a socio-economic-political way. like he's done some sort of political science degree. it makes sense due to his wide knowledge of the kingdom's intertwined politics and society.

however, he still seems to have some sort of appreciation for the physical landscape of hallownest? take the blue lake for example, him wanting to see the source of the rain or his comments on the hot springs.

everything could simply just be seen as a thirst for knowledge, but then again i think quirrel is much of an observer as he is as someone who just wants to learn: it's also much about experience to him.

therefore, putting everything i have together, quirrel simply must be:

a geographer

[coochiequeens]

These men just don't want to be around kids otherwise they would be the fun uncle, volunteer for Big Brothers and Big Sisters, be ok with dating women with kids and have a good relationship with the step kids. They just think they were entitled to biological offspring.

Amelia Hill

@byameliahillMon 28 Aug 2023 11.00 EDT

Father’s Day is dangerous for Robert Nurden. Childless not through choice but, as he puts it, “complacency, bad luck, bad judgment”, he tries to stay indoors and ignore the family celebrations outside.

But one year, he went for a walk. “I met family after family. There were children everywhere,” he remembered. “It was terrible. Just so painful. So many ambushes and triggers for my anguish.”

There is very little research into men who have not had children, although that is beginning to change. Research by Dr Robin Hadley has found that 25% of men over 42 do not have children – 5% more than women of the same age group.

Half of the men who are not fathers but wanted to be describe a huge grief and isolation from society. Almost 40% have experienced depression and a quarter feel a deep anger

Now 72, Nurden had a sheltered upbringing. Reaching adulthood, there was a lot he wanted to experience. “Having children was a very low priority. I was complacent: I just assumed it would happen,” he said.

It was not until he was in his early 40s that Nurden started to get broody. But by that point, he discovered, women of a similar age had already had children, if they were able or wanted to.

“I went into this 15-year period of not going into relationships or ending relationships quickly because I knew that person wasn’t going to want or be able to have a child with me – or that the relationship wasn’t going to be strong enough to last if we did have a child,” said Nurden.

He said high-profile older fathers breed complacency in ordinary men. “If I’m honest, even when I was in my 50s I believed that it might happen for me. But in real life, the Mick Jagger and Jon Snow-age fathers are actually very rare – and in any case, it’s medically not wise, as regards sperm quality.”

What compounded Nurden’s pain was that there was no public or private discussion about how men feel when circumstance leaves them unable to become fathers.

“There’s lots of publicity, quite rightly, about women and childlessness but men are very mute about this. Married men don’t want to hear it either: I’ve had men with children react with anger, as though they feel threatened, when I’ve tried to talk about my pain,” he said.

“I was mute too until recently, because as I aged, I found the regret grew into a great pain,” he added. “Unlike many other forms of grief, this compounds itself as it gets older: I wasn’t a father but now I’m not a grandfather. When I’m even older, I might find myself entirely alone.”

Nurden has published a book, I Always Wanted to be a Dad: Men Without Children, about his story and that of some other men. “It turns out that there is a lot of pain, regret and sadness out there,” he said.

Hadley, the researcher, is childless because although his wife had wanted children, by the time she and Hadley met, her age meant the risk of having one was too great. “I chose love but that doesn’t make the pain of not having children any less,” he said. “When a close colleague had his first child, I was so jealous that I couldn’t be in the same room as him.”

Being a father is a marker of status in many countries, said Hadley, but not in the west. “While there has recently been a lot more public discussion about how to be a good father, we still don’t have any narrative or celebration about how important it is for men to become a father in the first place,” he said.

Paul Goulden, the chair of Ageing Without Children, said that, along with the lack of public dialogue about becoming a father, he was “not convinced that there’s this Game of Thrones genetic push felt by men to have children”.

Instead, he said: “There’s this mistaken belief that men are fertile across their lifespan, so there’s no imperative to get on with it.”

That complacency persists because men without children historically have not spoken about their grief. But, Goulden said: “I hope Robert’s book will trigger a change in public dialogue around this issue. I think there’s an overwhelming sense of loneliness and fear out there about who is going to be there for these men, when they’re old and all alone.”

I wonder what their exes for these men would about them. Because the bar for Father's is so low that women showing they didn't want kids with them should really be a sign to do some soul searching.

Personal experience.......I think of my ex fiance who constantly said he wanted ro get married and have kids. However his actions said he wanted me to have the kids while he worked full time, he didn't believe in daycare so no job for me, and he would have to go to the gym almost everyday, he had a physically demanding job, and of course have his weekly card night with his buddies. And yes I stated all my objections but he had tunnel vision when it came to his fantasy family life. There's more but those were the issues relevant to this article.

[bijoumikhawal]

I need to move this from my "to read" list to my "have read" list (like over 50 other damn things) but this tweet had me thinking about the coining of amatonormativity again, which was done in Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law by Elizabeth Brake.

I realize tumblr is brain poisoned as fuck about this still, given that I believe I saw a post calling amatonormativity "rape apologia" as recently as 2020, but part of why this tweet is fucking stupid is that being in a relationship is smart economic sense, has been for a very long time, and Minimizing Marriage actually... discusses this.

Even living together without papers is economically beneficial. Rent is priced above a third of a lot of people's income. Two people's income, however... and of course, we're all familiar with the "getting married for tax benefits" joke. The only people for whom it's not economically beneficial to have a partner/be married in Biden's economy are the disabled, because the law specifically punishes you if you're on benefits for being married, because of eugenics.

Marriage itself is in large part a matter of finances. You're creating a unit which has joint finances, and historically your family would benefit economically from marrying off their kids (dowries/dowers/bride prices, and not needing to provide for as many people, and I'll note here that this is still true of many families today).

To underscore this: I recently saw an anecdote that this is part of why child marriage occurs in the US and Canada. Now, I did not see this person link academic or journalistic discussion about this aspect specifically, but I'm inclined to believe it.

The flip side of this tweet as well is that the OP is basically saying "the less you live the more you can work, and some people do not deserve to live" like it's a good thing, and someone replied to her stating that sentiment even more clearly, which immediately brought to mind this quote by Marx- "The less you eat, drink, buy books, go to the theatre or to balls, or to the pub, and the less you think, love, theorize, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you will be able to save and the greater will become your treasure which neither moth nor rust will corrupt—your capital. The less you are, the less you express your life, the more you have, the greater is your alienated life and the greater is the saving of your alienated being." This sentiment compounds with the fact that discouraging the poor (who often overlap with the disabled, the racialized lessers, the queer, etc) from having relationships, families, and/or children, is again, part of eugenics.

[annabelle--cane]

recently saw someone say be more chill is bad because it's a "neoliberal musical." I don't think you know what that word means.

[set-wingedwarrior]

.

[zwischenland]

life update/2023 so far:

moved to a new (big) city with the intention to build a good life post-graduation; flatmate turned out to be a massive narcissist and i did not have money to move again; spent several months applying to jobs and realised my degree is considered useless outside of science; made some friends (but the person i grew closest to will move away), felt like too much of a mess for dating; got a trainee position with a ridiculous salary but took it for the work experience; visited my best friend in the netherlands and had one good week; started work, struggled with 40h weeks, got along really well with my colleagues; started looking for a flat and realised it is impossible in this city without a good income; rain for weeks, some peace in that; got laid off for financial reasons; mini breakdown (i have been coping weirdly well/suppressing my emotions, not sure); went to the seaside and had a couple good hours; decided to move back to my hometown (for questionable, almost entirely emotional reasons); started looking for a room (anxiously) or flat (pessimistically); my dad still has brain cancer; i have not talked to my therapist in four months

[virtue-boy]

Its kind of insane like genuinely insane how many people on here have no idea what life is like for average people in the third world / global majority and the Neo-colonialism that creates those conditions to support conditions in the North and how insanely cruel they can be as the absolute baseline and the type of killing and death that maintains the boundaries between the north and the south.

Like tell me you've never met an immigrant or refugee without telling me. Do you genuinely not know what happens to people who get deported, or work in the farms or meatpacking factories that feed the North?? The child deaths in the border crossings? The mines all over the globe? The people that die from lack of baseline vaccinations and sanitation and healthcare trademarked by western companies? The literal MILLIONS of third worlders killed in the wars across the globe defending US economic hegemony? The agent orange, the land mines, the carpet bombing, the drones? What the fuck is wrong with you?

[supercantaloupe]

also sally bowles absolutely trounces mimi marquez when it comes to demonstrating how their shared philosophy/outlook on life can destroy them

[displaced-space]

Class Struggle

While Oscar the Grouch may not have been intentionally designed as a symbol of the proletariat struggle, there are some aspects of his character and circumstances that can be seen as representative of the challenges faced by the working class. Here are a few ways in which Oscar can be seen as a good example of the proletariat struggle:

Living conditions: Oscar lives in a trash can, symbolizing the poor living conditions often experienced by the working class. His home represents the struggle for affordable housing and the lack of resources available to those in the lower socioeconomic strata.

Social status: As a "grouch," Oscar is often seen as an outcast among his peers on Sesame Street. This can be interpreted as a metaphor for the social stigma and alienation faced by the working class in a society that values wealth and success.

Limited opportunities: Oscar the Grouch does not appear to have a stable job or career, which might be seen as a representation of the limited opportunities and economic instability faced by the proletariat.

Resistance to change: Oscar's grouchy demeanor and resistance to change can be seen as a reflection of the frustration and hopelessness experienced by the working class as they struggle to break free from their oppressive circumstances.

Solidarity: Despite his grumpy personality, Oscar has moments of camaraderie and solidarity with other characters on Sesame Street. This can be seen as a nod to the importance of collective action and mutual support among the proletariat in their struggle for a better life.

It is important to note that Sesame Street's primary goal is to educate and entertain children, and the creators may not have deliberately designed Oscar the Grouch as a symbol of the proletariat struggle. However, the character does provide an interesting lens through which to view and discuss issues of class, poverty, and social justice.

[drdemonprince]

The data does not support the assumption that all burned out people can “recover.” And when we fully appreciate what burnout signals in the body, and where it comes from on a social, economic, and psychological level, it should become clear to us that there’s nothing beneficial in returning to an unsustainable status quo. 

The term “burned out” is sometimes used to simply mean “stressed” or “tired,” and many organizations benefit from framing the condition in such light terms. Short-term, casual burnout (like you might get after one particularly stressful work deadline, or following final exams) has a positive prognosis: within three months of enjoying a reduced workload and increased time for rest and leisure, 80% of mildly burned-out workers are able to make a full return to their jobs. 

But there’s a lot of unanswered questions lurking behind this happy statistic. For instance, how many workers in this economy actually have the ability to take three months off work to focus on burnout recovery? What happens if a mildly burnt-out person does not get that rest, and has to keep toiling away as more deadlines pile up? And what is the point of returning to work if the job is going to remain as grueling and uncontrollable as it was when it first burned the worker out? 

Burnout that is not treated swiftly can become far more severe. Clinical psychologist and burnout expert Arno van Dam writes that when left unattended (or forcibly pushed through), mild burnout can metastasize into clinical burnout, which the International Classification of Diseases defines as feelings of energy depletion, increased mental distance, and a reduced sense of personal agency. Clinically burned-out people are not only tired, they also feel detached from other people and no longer in control of their lives, in other words.

Unfortunately, clinical burnout has quite a dismal trajectory. Multiple studies by van Dam and others have found that clinical burnout sufferers may require a year or more of rest following treatment before they can feel better, and that some of burnout’s lingering effects don’t go away easily, if at all. 

In one study conducted by Anita Eskildsen, for example, burnout sufferers continued to show memory and processing speed declines one year after burnout. Their cognitive processing skills improved slightly since seeking treatment, but the experience of having been burnt out had still left them operating significantly below their non-burned-out peers or their prior self, with no signs of bouncing back. 

It took two years for subjects in one of van Dam’s studies to return to “normal” levels of involvement and competence at work. following an incident of clinical burnout. However, even after a multi-year recovery period they still performed worse than the non-burned-out control group on a cognitive task designed to test their planning and preparation abilities. Though they no longer qualified as clinically burned out, former burnout sufferers still reported greater exhaustion, fatigue, depression, and distress than controls.

In his review of the scientific literature, van Dam reports that anywhere from 25% to 50% of clinical burnout sufferers do not make a full recovery even four years after their illness. Studies generally find that burnout sufferers make most of their mental and physical health gains in the first year after treatment, but continue to underperform on neuropsychological tests for many years afterward, compared to control subjects who were never burned out. 

People who have experienced burnout report worse memories, slower reaction times, less attentiveness, lower motivation, greater exhaustion, reduced work capability, and more negative health symptoms, long after their period of overwork has stopped. It’s as if burnout sufferers have fallen off their previous life trajectory, and cannot ever climb fully back up. 

And that’s just among the people who receive some kind of treatment for their burnout and have the opportunity to rest. I found one study that followed burned-out teachers for seven years and reported over 14% of them remained highly burnt-out the entire time. These teachers continued feeling depersonalized, emotionally drained, ineffective, dizzy, sick to their stomachs, and desperate to leave their jobs for the better part of a decade. But they kept working in spite of it (or more likely, from a lack of other options), lowering their odds of ever healing all the while. 

Van Dam observes that clinical burnout patients tend to suffer from an excess of perseverance, rather than the opposite: “Patients with clinical burnout…report that they ignored stress symptoms for several years,” he writes. “Living a stressful life was a normal condition for them. Some were not even aware of the stressfulness of their lives, until they collapsed.”

Instead of seeking help for workplace problems or reducing their workload, as most people do, clinical burnout sufferers typically push themselves through unpleasant circumstances and avoid asking for help. They’re also less likely to give up when placed under frustrating circumstances, instead throttling the gas in hopes that their problems can be fixed with extra effort. They become hyperactive, unable to rest or enjoy holidays, their bodies wired to treat work as the solution to every problem. It is only after living at this unrelenting pace for years that they tumble into severe burnout. 

Among both masked Autistics and overworked employees, the people most likely to reach catastrophic, body-breaking levels of burnout are the people most primed to ignore their own physical boundaries for as long as possible. Clinical burnout sufferers work far past the point that virtually anyone else would ask for help, take a break, or stop caring about their work.

And when viewed from this perspective, we can see burnout as the saving grace of the compulsive workaholic — and the path to liberation for the masked disabled person who has nearly killed themselves trying to pass as a diligent worker bee. 

I wrote about the latest data on burnout "recovery," and the similarities and differences between Autistic burnout and conventional clinical burnout. The full piece is free to read or have narrated to you in the Substack app at drdevonprice.substack.com

[nadafund]

Equal Rights for All: The Fight for the Women's Rights Amendment Continues

#FutureGirls Equality for All: An Ongoing Journey The quest for equality has been a protracted and challenging path, marked by numerous battles fought and victories achieved. Among these struggles, the advocacy for women’s rights emerges as a pivotal chapter in the narrative of human rights. The Women’s Rights Amendment endeavors to guarantee equal rights for everyone, irrespective of gender.…

[nadalahdal]

Equal Rights for All: The Fight for the Women's Rights Amendment Continues

#FutureGirls Equality for All: An Ongoing Journey The quest for equality has been a protracted and challenging path, marked by numerous battles fought and victories achieved. Among these struggles, the advocacy for women’s rights emerges as a pivotal chapter in the narrative of human rights. The Women’s Rights Amendment endeavors to guarantee equal rights for everyone, irrespective of gender.…

[serious2020]

Open Letter to the United States Embassy on U.S. Involvement in Haiti

To the Honorable Representatives of the United States Embassies in the Caribbean: November 18, 2024 Open Letter to the United States Embassy The core principle of the 1951 Convention on Refugees is non-refoulement, which asserts that a refugee should not be returned to a country where they face serious threats to their life orfreedom. This principle was expanded by the 1967 Protocol Relating…

[trueinred]

Marriage market ratings for men and women (common in Korea)

A matrimonial agency’s occupational tier is a way to categorize and match members based on social status, income, education, etc. The following is a summary of the occupational ratings for men and women at one matrimonial agency. Male occupation rating table Grade 1: The highest grade, for high social status professions such as judges who graduated from Seoul National University Law…

[microdoser]

Okay i hear you but the thing is though like.... that question has already been asked time and time again and I believe it's futile; it has no real answer. Misogyny exists and has existed since the development of civilization. Men have been subjugating women since the dawn of time. What answer could possibly exist that would change anything at this point? It doesn't matter "why" men hate women because there's no logical reason as to "why". So no, I think we DO need more conversation about “why do women date men who hate them” because THAT is not being talked about nearly enough (outside of fringe/political internet spheres. And even within there, often times what's being said is interpreted as 'blaming women for men's shitty actions' and is immediately dismissed as 'antifeminist, antiwoman, victim-blaming, etc etc...) Most women are truly in denial and cannot actually swallow the fact that the men in their lives hate them; that they are misogynistic despite their relation to them and all they do for them (directly and indirectly). And the ones that DO "understand" this, are still left with the belief that "some" level of misogyny in a relationship with a man is understandable; tolerable even.

I could go on but really what I'm saying is the question '''why do women date men who hate them'''' HAS an answer. a few of them actually. there's meaningful discussion to be had there, that leads to even more; it opens the doors to alot of other ... I'll say uncomfortable conversations and actually puts women in an active role at the center of the discussion about what WE as women can do to improve the standards of OUR lives that DOESNT involve us begging and imploring men to see our humanity and the errors of their ways.

''''why are men sexist :("" is getting us nowhere. because they are!!! because it benefits them to be!!! now what are we gonna do about it??

fewer posts about “why do women date men who hate them” and more posts about “why do so many men hate women that it’s genuinely difficult for women to find romantic and sexual intimacy with a man who doesn’t hate them”