#ECW On TNN

[astralbondpro]

October 1, 1999 -

Joel Gertner mocks Joey Styles behind his back during this edition of ECW on TNN.

[paramountplusnc]

Paul Heyman to TNN: "I Dare You To Throw Me Off The Air" (ECW on TNN - 6/2/00)

Upon hearing of TNN pulling the plug on ECW, Paul Heyman was ready to speak his mind. But TNN felt that Paul E. Dangerously's words were too powerful against its viewers' ears...

until NOW.

[dilf-in-peril]

You're probably all aware of the "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist" line and you know MJF said it to Punk after betraying him, because Punk said it in 2005 after betraying the crowd, but here's the full origin story of that line:

MJF (AEW Dynamite, 02.03.2022) → CM Punk (ROH Death Before Dishonor III, 18.06.2005) → Raven (ECW on TNN, 17.09.1999) → Keyser Söze (The Usual Suspects, 1995) → Charles Baudelaire (Paris Spleen, 1869)

[blowflyfag]

ECW Magazine: February 2000

FLIGHT OF RAVEN

Raven returns to ECW roost and brood about life

By S. Connor

RAVEN RETURNED TO EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING on Aug. 26 and shook the foundation of the promotion. At the first TNN taping at Elks Lodge in Queens, N.Y., he paired with longtime nemesis Tommy Dreamer and beat The Dudley Boyz to claim the ECW world tag team title. 

In the following interview, Raven talks about his days in World Championship Wrestling, his childhood and his motivation for returning to ECW.

A CHILLING CHILDHOOD

Q. WHAT KIND OF CHILDHOOD DID YOU HAVE?

A. A miserable one. No one liked me. I was very unpopular and I was staved for attention because my dad never told me he loved me. I was extremely outgoing, loud and obnoxious just to get any kind of attention.

[Raven pulls Rhino off Tommy Dreamer]

Q. DO YOU HAVE ANY BROTHERS OR SISTERS?

A. I have an older sister but she had mental problems of her own. In fact she has emotional problems that are bad enough that she gets disability from the government. She also has very poor health problems, but she’s a great person.

Q. WAS THERE ANYTHING YOU COULD HAVE DONE TO MAKE YOUR CHILDHOOD BETTER?

A. I probably could have stopped picking on her and abusing her. I was embarrassed by her problems and I took it our on her. It wasn’t her fault she was that way, which left me with even more guilt for being cruel to her because I thought she was embarrassing me. It just snowballed.

Q. DO YOU BLAME THESE PROBLEMS ON YOUR PARENTS’ LACK OF ATTENTION?

A. Yes, complete lack of attention. I also have a fragile brain chemistry to begin with. My sister is actually unipolar. She’s just depressed. I’m bipolar, I’m manic/depressive. I needed more attention than your basic kid to begin with but i got less than your average person so it was a double whammy. My parents were so wrapped up in my sister’s problems they didn’t give me any attention. I had problems just as bad as her but apparently I hid behind an armor that was thick enough and it was such a good act that nobody saw though it. But they should have seen through it. They are my parents. My I.Q. was 143 and they should have realized how special i was. If not special, then I should have been treated like any normal person. I often envied kids that at least got beat by their parents. If they got beat, at least they knew that their parents cared. Mine were indifferent. Indifference is the greatest cruelty of all. 

[Unlikely tag team: Tommy Dreamer and Raven]

ABOUT RINGMANSHIP

Q. HOW IMPORTANT ARE MICROPHONE SKILLS IN WRESTLING?

A. The greatest interviews in the history of the business were Mankind’s interviews as Cactus Jack in ECW. I don’t think anyone will ever cut promos better. Like a Seinfield episode, he went all over the place, but at the end the whole story came together in a neat little bundle. Cactus was always teaching you something. Austin is tremendous. In World Championship Wrestling, as far as charisma, I’m a big fan of Kannan. He is one of the most charismatic guys ever. Rey Mysterio Jr. is one of the greatest pure athletes I’ve ever seen in my life. In ECW, Axl Rotten is absolutely remarkable. Rotten can actuallt wrestle scientifically as smoothly and as well as anybody. If he dropped 30 pounds and Paul  Heyman [owner of ECW] have him a chance to really prove himself, all of a sudden you’d have a new major star.

WCW STRIKES OUT

Q. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR CAREER IN WCW?

A. I was never allowed in the “big 10” of WCW. I wasn’t popular enough and I didn’t get my shot. Anybody who truly has seen my work with an unjaded and uncynical eye would probably include me in the top 10. I haven’t drawn money in the major territories because I’ve never been in the position. 

Q. SOME OF YOUR GIMMICKS: SCOTTY THE BODY, JOHNNY POLO, SCOTTY FLAMINGO. WERE THEY REALLY YOU?

A. Yes they were. I’m a manic depressive! Scotty the Body was a character I created. The World Wrestling Federation gave me Johnny Polo and Dusty Rhodes gave me Scotty Flamingo - offshoots of Scotty the Body, one of my original names. I wanted to be the most flamboyant, obnoxious, abrasive, loudmouth chickens—heel I could be because I knew it would give me the attention I craved. If i didn’t get the attention at home, I wanted the adulation of strangers. I found along the way it’s no substitute, but it does to an extent alleviate some of the anguish and pain. If you talk t the boys in the WCW locker room. Konnan, Saturn or Disco Inferno would say either I am the most moody pick on the planet to the most wise ass goofy bastard you ever met.

[‘My parents were so wrapped up in my sister’s problems they never have me any attention.’]

RAVEN-DREAMER SAGA LIVES ON

SINCE RAVEN RETURNED TO EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING ON AUG. 26, HIS LEGENDARY FEUD WITH TOMMY DREAMER HAS BEEN REVIVED. 

AS KIDS, THE TWO WERE BEST FRIENDS UNTIL A GIRL NAMED BEULAH CAME BETWEEN THEM. DREAMER STOLE BEULAH FROM RAVEN, EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN”T REALLY WANT HER. WHEN SHE CAME BACK INTO THEIR LIVES IN ECW, OLD HATRED BETWEEN RAVEN AND DREAMER ROSE UP AND DROVE THE TWO TO FIGHT THEIR BATTLES IN THE RING.

DESPITE THEIR HATRED, THE TWO BECAME ECW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS WHEN RAVEN RETURNED TO THE FEDERATION ON AUG. 26. THROUGHOUT SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER OF 1999, DREAMER WAS BARELY ABLE TO DEFEND THE TITLE BECAUSE OF AN INJURED BACK. RAVEN ONLY INVOLVED HIMSELF IN THE MATCHES AT THE END TO ENSURE THE TWO UNLIKELY PARTNERS KEP TTHE TITLE. HOW LONG DREAMER AND RAVEN CAN CONTINUE IN THIS DYSFUNCTIONAL MANNER IS ANY FAN’S GUESS.

SUCKING UP?

Q. WHAT WERE YOUR DAYS LIKE BEHIND THE SCENES FOR WWF?

A. When i was working for Vince McMahon [owner of the WWF] as associate producer of RAW, Vince made me put on a suit and tie. It was killing me. As soon as I was done producing, the sh-t would come off and I would put on a pair of ripped up jeans, a pair of boots, a T-shirt and leather jacket. That’s who I am. Me and Shane McMahon became really good friends. I was an original member of the Mean Street Posse, because me, Shane, Rodney and Pete Gas used to hang out all the time. I think it’s kind of amusing that Raven’s actually a Mean Street Posse member and they all dress in their ivy league clothes. Me and Shane are really close friends. I can’t say anything bad about him. We used to hang out constantly. It was funny because all of the boys would say, “You’re just  sucking up to Shane so you can get over with Vince,” and it’s just the exact opposite. What would happen is I’d get total heat with Vince because I’d have Shane out all the time, back when I used to drink. I quit drinking two tyears ago. I had Shane out every night of the week partying and Vince thought I was a horrendous influence on his son. 

[I’ve been to a couple psychologists.’]

BACK ON THE COUCH

Q. DID YOU EVER SEEK OUT HELP FOR YOUR PROBLEMS?

A. I’ve been to a couple psychologists. I found one phenomenal one who really helped me through my baggage. My father’s passing away recently - he was very ill so it was the best thing for him - took a lot of that baggage away. I don’t by any means glorify his death, but it enabled me to turn my life around.

Q. DESCRIBE RAVEN NOW COMPARED TO THE ONE WHO APPERED JAN. 8, 1995.

A. I came out in January 1995 as dark and as bleak and as miserable as one could possibly be. A lot of people say I left the character consume me, but what they don’t understand is it was already consuming me to begin with. I just found the forum to play it out. It was cathartic, it gave me release. By the same token, a lot of the negatives that accentuated it had a detrimental effect on me. It took a long while to work through all of that as well. What you see now is probably the most stable and happy I've ever been. Raven now is cruel, hateful and malicious, but bot as brooding and not as sullen. Fans will see a more sarcastic edge. Raven is 75 precent of the brooding bastard and 25 perfect of the glib, wise ass prick that Scotty the Body was. 

FROM ECW TO WCW AND BACK AGAIN

Q. HOW DID YOU COME TO THE DECISION TO LEAVE ECW THE FIRST TIME?

A. I didn’t want to leave and to be honest, I begged Paul. I said, “Please, I don’t want to leave.” Eric Bischoff [then vice president of WCW] offered me a lot of money to go to WCW. Of course ECW’s pay scale has jumped since then, but at this time it was a very hefty contract. I begged Paul to give me half of what Bischoff offered, but he couldn’t he just didn’t have the money. I had to leave and it broke my heart. All the boys said, “You got to go.” Now that ECW is on national TV with the TNN deal, I’m like: “well, I cant let them go on national TV without me. I got to be there for it.”

Q. BUT DIDN’T BISCHOFF ASK YOU TO LEAVE WCW ON AUG. 23?

A. I didn't really have a choice. Bischoff called a meeting and said, “Raven, start working through our attorney outside. You’re not happy with the company so you can leave right now.” I said, “bye” and walked out the door. Later Eric said, “I think you should think this over, I think you should stay. What are you going to do, go work for Paul E.?” I said, ”No, I’m going to Vince.” He said, “You are not going to Vince.” I said, “You said I got a release. I would think that implies I could go wherever I want.” Eris said, “I’ll let you go to ECW but you can’t go to Vince.”

Q. HOW DO YOU GET ALONG WITH BISCHOFF NOW?

A. I like Eric a lot, I think he’s a great guy. I know there’s a lot of horror stories of how badly he treats all the wrestlers, but he’s always treated me with a lot of respect. He always made time for me.

[beerpresure]

i implore you if you hate don callis to A) google being a heel and B) look up TNN era ECW when he was Cyrus the Virus

you guys aren't ready for the convo that don callis is historically one of the best character guys in wrestling

[rawiswhore]

Rob Van Dam x Fem Reader- "Soul to Squeeze"

Jean Claude Van Damme was a popular action movie star in the late 1980's and 1990's who also did martial arts, as well as incorporating martial arts in his movies.

He also had a signature style of splits, where he'd do the splits with his legs horizontally separated apart from each other

He did this in a truck commercial and some of his movies.

There was also a popular professional wrestler named Rob Van Dam, who wasn't related to Jean Claude, despite that they looked so much alike.

Like Jean Claude, many of Rob's wrestling moves were martial arts inspired.

And like Jean Claude, Rob Van Dam often did the splits with his legs spread apart.

Rob invented a style of weightlifting called "the Van Dam lift", where as one of his hands lifts one small dumbbell, his legs do the splits and they're spread apart horizontally, not with one leg behind his back while the opposite leg is laying in front.

Doing this Van Dam lift puts a lot of pressure on the groin area for men, which, of course, is where their genitals are.

The professional wrestling company Rob got popular in was ECW, and ECW used to do these little promo compilation of some of their roster where Dick Dale's instrumental song "Miserlou" plays---that song you might know as that song from "Pulp Fiction" and the song the Black Eyed Peas sampled for their 2000's hit "Pump It".

At the end of the year 2000, on an "ECW on TNN" episode, in one of those promos where "Miserlou" plays in the background, Rob shown backstage doing his iconic Van Dam lift, where his legs were horizontally split apart from each other as he holds a dumbbell in his hand.

Rob was dressed in one of his signature singlets while he did this Van Dam lift.

His face scrunched up as he held that dumbbell, only for him to carefully drop that dumbbell on the floor.

Once that dumbbell was on the floor, Rob's legs shifted sideways until he can stand up, where he raised himself up.

You approached Rob out of nowhere, although you were standing near Rob during this moment, and you told him how doing that lift must hurt his groin, which it does.

When you mentioned how doing the Van Dam lift hurts his groin, your voice sounded very sexy and breathy.

Rob nodded his head after you mentioned how much it hurts his crotch.

You were going to make Rob feel better after that, but hopefully you won't hurt him.

Although, this moment was rehearsed and staged.

As you stood next to Rob, standing close enough to touch him, one of your hands grasped and grabbed his crotch, where you gently squeezed and fondled it.

"Does it hurt when I touch you here?" you asked him carefully.

"Oh, no" Rob replied, his eyes staring down at your hand squeezing his crotch.

Rob's been hit with steel chairs and was in 3 of the most violent wrestling companies ever (ECW, WWE/F and TNA), him lifting a dumbbell with his legs spread apart shouldn't hurt that much.

Your hand was squeezing his crotch covered by his singlet.

Your fingers let go of his groin and slid up his singlet, your hand stroking and caressing up the Spandex fabric of his singlet.

Your hand then slipped underneath his singlet when it reached the neckline of it, where your hand and forearm slid under his singlet, your hand stopping once your hand reached his genitals.

Your hand grabbed his bare balls and his penis, where your hand squeezed and gently fondled it.

Your forearm was protruding through the Spandex of his singlet placed at his torso.

"Does it hurt when I touch you there?" you asked.

"Not at all" Rob replied, shaking his head.

Rob was getting enjoyment out of your squeezing his balls.

In fact, he needs it after raising that dumbbell while doing the splits.

"Just a little more" Rob said to you, to which your hand began to play with and massage his balls.

"That's the spot" he moaned.

However, Rob's bare penis and his scrotum weren't shown on television, but the camera filmed your hand squeezing and playing with Rob's private parts behind his singlet.

The camera even zoomed in on Rob's crotch, where it showed your hand behind his singlet fondling his genitals.

Rob was moaning like he was getting a massage and he was getting relieved from the pain.

You were relieving his pain in his groin by massaging it.

Not only have you squeezed Rob's crotch backstage when the cameras weren't filming and broadcasting after he does his Van Dam lift, but now you're doing it on television.

Not in a pay-per-view, on TV.

Even though ECW was watered down when it was on the TNN channel, this moment was very racy, it belongs more on a pay-per-view.

[trishstratuscom]

WWE Slam Attax delivers Stratusfaction

While we normally bring you updates on the latest Trish cards from Topps. Today, we thought that we would take a look at the other popular Topps series – WWE Slam Attax. Full story & cards »

[shitloadsofwrestling]

Rob Van Dam and Bill Alfonso [September 21st, 2000]

A really rad candid of “The Whole F’N Show” and “The Man Who Calls It Down The Middle”. Early on in 2000, Rob Van Dam was set to take on Mike Awesome in a "champion vs. champion" match, but unfortunately, had broken his ankle during a title defense against Rhino. Instead, the injury caused him to have to vacate the ECW World Television Championship. At ECW's Hardcore Heaven, Van Dam returned for what would be his last few months with the company, as ECW would fold the following March. On this night, RVD teamed with Kid Kash to take on Da Baldies on ECW on TNN. Within a year of this photo, RVD would be in the WWE, sans manager Bill Alfonso.

[astralbondpro]

ECW on TNN #25 (02/11/2000) // Tallahassee, Florida

[wwenetworkchronicle-blog]

Today In Wrestling History Via WWE Network (09/29/2017): RVD Wins IC Title in 2003

Today In Wrestling History Via WWE Network (09/29/2017): RVD Wins IC Title in 2003

As a daily feature, WWE Network News posts a comprehensive list of everything that took place on this day in wrestling history. Or at least everything that is currently available to watch on the WWE Network. This list is courtesy of the Reddit version of WWE Network Bot.

Disclaimer: Any incorrect dates are taken directly from the WWE Network’s code. Basically, they goofed, not us. If you notice…

[littletroubledgrrrl]

Rob Van Dam reTweeted a video of some woman in the crowd at an ECW show flashing her breasts at him, I wish I could find that video!

[reelinplace]

[blowflyfag]

ECW Magazine: February 2000

Grinding His Axe

Axl Rotten wants to be respected as one of ECW’s core stars

By Matt Hunter

Rotten Fast Facts

Height: 6-foot-2

Weight: 302 pounds

Birthday: April 21, 1971

Hometown: Baltimore, Md.

Professional Debut: 1988

Favorite musician: Marilyn Maanson

Favorite song: “Unholy” by KISS

Real name: Axl F—ing Rotten

Most memorable ring moments: “My feud with Ian in 1995 set the standard for what people considered hardcore and extreme at the time, and to this day it has not been duplicated. One of my favorite singles matches was against Chris Candido, before Wrestlepalooza - the atmosphere and the way that match felt was electric. Then there was me and Balls against Candido and Lance Storm at Wrestlepalooza. Thought we had a damn good match.”

Most troubling ring moments: “When I was in a battle royal in Nashville for the United States Wrestling Association, I thought I was going over the top rope, but I went through the middle, and I piledrived myself on the concrete floor. I thought I was dead. Another time in World Championship Wrestling, the first night I wrestled Vader, he punched me in the chest. I’ve never been hit so hard in my life. I fell through the ropes to the floor. I was 19 years old at the time. I said to myself ‘I better get my ass back in that ring.’ I look at that as a learning experience.”

PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING IS about respect. 

Different wrestlers measure respect in different ways. For Sabu, respect is measured by the volume of the fans’ chants - “ECW! ECW! ECW!” - after he flies through the air in an attempt to injure his opponent. For Balls Mahoney, respect is measured by the impact his chair shots have of a hapless opponent. 

For Axl Rotten, though, respect hasn’t quite come his way – yet. 

“I’ve never been one of the boys who’s held back his mouth,” Rotten said. “I’ll talk about the boss, I’ll talk about the company - sometimes it’s gotten me in trouble.”

Rotten, ironically, then left nothing unsaid about his past role in Extreme Championship Wrestling.

“Now that ECW has the national TNN deal, a lot of us who worked hard to get there aren’t getting the bigger push. I’m not saying they don’t deserve it, but I am saying don’t forget about me. 

“When you look back at the history of ECW, I’m the one who always gets overlooked,” Rotten continued. “People talk about Tommy  Dreamer being there since day one but everyone forgets that Axl was there since day one. When people talk about the innovations ECW has brought to the sport, everyone else is the pioneer or the innovator.”

[Johnny Smith attacks Axl Rotten from behind with Lance Storm prone in the foreground.]

Rotten said he simply wants the respect he deserves.

“I’m not downing anybody. Everybody’s worked their asses off to help ECW get to where it is today,” he said. “I’m the last guy who wants anything handed to m. This has nothing to do with sour grapes. I just want the recognition.”

Beyond the barbed-wire bat

Until now, Rotten has had no problem getting recognition, even if it’s not quite the type he’s looking for. The violence in his matches is legendary, and his baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire has become something of a trademark. Still, he is looking for more. 

“I don’t want to be known as the most hardcore guy in ECW, or the guy who bleeds the most,” Rotten said. “I want to be known as the best wrestler. I love entertaining people. When the people put down their hard-earned dollars to see Axl Rotten, I want them to be completely entertained.”

Rotten said he does not want to be known only as the wrestler with the brutal baseball bat.

“It happens to a lot of people,” he said. “You get known for one thing and you get stuck with it. But it’s not an impossible thing to get out of.”

“My reason for getting into the business in the first place was Dusty Rhodes,” Rotten continued. “He could bleed all over the place one night and still have a 40-minute match with Ric Flair the next night.”

So why, then, is Rotten finding himself being slammed through fiery tables and doused with pints of blood rather than competing in more scientific matches?

[Axl Rotten and tag team partner Balls Mahoney] “Maybe the reason I get put in the extreme position is that all the people around here who claim to be so hardcore and extreme are afraid to do it,” he said. “The days of ECW being pure extreme are gone. Mick Foley’s gone. Abdullah The Butcher is gone. The only ones left are me, Balls [Mahoney], New Jack and Spike [Dudley.] We're the ones who have to go out there and get extreme, because that’s an ECW reputation. But the truth of it is, I would just as soon have a good wrestling match with Chris Candido.”

[Anyone thirsty? Axl Rotten and Budweiser girls]

Tag team days 

These days, Rotten’s matches tend to be ultra-violent tag team bouts with partner Balls Mahoney. 

“We wrestled The Dudley Boyz for what seemed like two years,” Rotten said. “We wrestled Sabu and Rob Van Dam, and Candido and Lance Storm. Everyone who was put in the top tag spot, we were their opponents. And because we’re so damn tough, they always came out looking good.”

“Raven and Dreamer are a joke as tag team champions,” he continued. “Me and Balls don’t get the opportunity to win with the ball.”

Rotten said Mahoney is one of the few who truly respects him.

“Me and Balls, because we wrestled each other, respect each other as athletes,” Rotten said, “I know how hard he can swing a chair. Hell, I’m one of the craziest f—ing people I know. Then I look at Balls and I say, “Look at this guy!”

Hey Axl, what would you say if Vince McMahon called you?

“I’d say, ‘What do you want?’ He’d have to give me a reason to leave. Money alone is not a reason to leave. I’ve seen ECW grow from 2000 people in a building to thousands at a pay-per-view. I helped bring this company to where it is now. Vince would have to offer me something more than just money. I don’t think you can put a number on what ECW means to me. I don’t begrudge anyone anything. Taz? Dudleys? They have to do what’s right for them. Right now, for me, it would take a lot more than the number figure. I think there’s a lot more I can do here in ECW … if I’m given the opportunity. 

Axl back on track

However, a lot of people look at Rotten and say the same thing. More troubling than what they say, though, is what they whisper: “Rotten can’t cut it. He got booted from ECW by owner Paul E. Heyman. He’s crazy in the ring, but he’s not reliable.”Rotten said those rumors helped him get back on track. 

“For a time I was getting involved in a few things outside the ring I shouldn't have been involved in.” he said. “It took  Paul E. to make me realize what I was doing and how I was wasting my life. There was a quote from Paul that got back to me, he said: ‘Axl Rotten is one of the top performers in my locker room who doesn’t perform up to his abilities.’ I sat back and thought about that, and he was right.

“That was a wakeup call,” Rotten continued. I thank Paul for making me realize I’m too smart and too talented to waste my time on that.” Rotten looks forward to the task of rebuilding his ECW career. 

“I’ve been as far down physically and emotionally as I could possibly be, and I’m working my way back,” he said. 

By working his way back, Rotten will earn the respect he deserves from his peers and fans.

[misanthropevibes]

[rawiswhore]

Rob Van Dam x Fem Reader- "Mr. Sandman"

Professional wrestling company ECW was a different alternative to the family friendly and kid friendly World Wrestling Federation in the early to mid 1990's and WCW during the 90's.

Whereas the WWF and WCW were family friendly and kid friendly (before the WWF's Attitude era, anyway), ECW was a wrestling company more for older audiences like adults and teenagers.

ECW had blood, hardcore violence, sexual content, oversexualized women, and profanity.

One of ECW's most prominent stars in the company was Sandman, an alcoholic, cigarette smoking, beer guzzling foul mouthed redneck.

He was Stone Cold Steve Austin before there was a Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Sandman's iconic entrance before his matches in ECW was where he'd raise a can of beer a few inches above his head and pour the beer out of that can as it lands in his open mouth, then he'd bash that beer can repeatedly on his head.

During an ECW on TNN episode in late 2000, you mocked and parodied Sandman's signature entrance in one of those promos where Dick Dale's "Miserlou" (that song from "Pulp Fiction" that the Black Eyed Peas sampled with their 2000's hit "Pump It") plays in the background.

In that promo, you were sitting on your knees in front of Rob Van Dam, one of ECW's most popular stars, and Rob was standing in front of you.

Rob was filmed from below his thighs during this promo.

In this promo, your eyes were shut and your head was arched slightly back while your mouth was agape and wide open.

One of your arms and hands were raised up, where your hand looked like it was holding on to Rob's penis, even though it wasn't.

Your hand and arm were a few inches above your head.

Your hand was pretending to crank and masturbate Rob's penis even though you really weren't jacking him off.

Some fake milky white cum was shooting and splashing on your face, landing on the middle of your face and into your mouth.

It wasn't really cum, it was actually coffee cream, but it was implied semen.

The coffee cream was poured out of one of those little coffee packets, but the packets weren't shown due to making the people watching this on television think Rob really did jizz on you.

The coffee cream was landing on your face in little spurts to really look like realistic cum.

Rob was filmed from below his thighs because his penis can't be filmed on television unless through pixilation.

Some of that fake cum/coffee cream actually had got into your hair.

You would beat Rob's penis on your face, but again, his penis is not allowed to be shown on television or in pay-per-views.

You then opened your eyes and looked into the camera, where you said "Beat that, Sandman!".

You also shut your eyes quickly so that "cum" wouldn't get inside your eyes, and it stings when cum gets in your eyes.

It would've been even more badass if you really did masturbate Rob's penis and he actually did cum on your face.