#Dread Wolf Redemption plan: TIRE HIM OUT

[bbbarneswrites]

Tender Nights

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky’s sleepless nights are way more pleasant now. For complete different reasons. Genre: Romance/fluff Rating: T Warnings: Swearings 2,887 words

Spotify Playlist

Notes: Hellooo! Here we go with another one I don’t know how I came up with...lmao. Partially based off Blur’s Tender. And for the beach scene I strongly recommend this amazing version of Sufjan Stevens’ Mystery Of Love. Wanna think of the right Bucky for this? Think of very warm and fuzzy Bucky from that interview... :’) And I’m really sorry about the bad ending...lmao. That’s all about it, I guess. HAPPY READING! <3

At first, Bucky’s nights are always accompanied by the ghosts of his past. So much that he’s lost count on how many hours he’s spent wide awake, too afraid to fall asleep but too tired to not give in occasionally.

He comes back to America as a changed man – but with a still tainted image. He no longer is The Winter Soldier and since Thanos’ lastest scheme and his time in Wakanda, the White Wolf’s mantle fall on him. His mind is his own and he’s adjusting to a time that’s not his. But that doesn’t mean people don’t see him for his past, a traitor or a terrorist or both, because there are people who can assure he’s both.

That doesn’t mean his own mind doesn’t betray him sometimes, giving space to the self-deprecating thoughts to nestle in the corners of his tortured brain even after his so called redemption.

There’s a time of his life where he thinks he deserves all that. To be hunted by his past, his demons and his ghosts, the people who don’t tolerate and aren’t kind enough to believe that he was actually a drop of water in a big red ocean of blood that wasn’t his own.

But how can he believe in all that now?

How can he believe that punishment is the only fair thing that can happen to him when you veemently defend and fight for him every day? How can he believe that the blood of his victims will stain his hands forever when you’re sweet enough to melt to his touches? How can he believe he’s not worthy of anything good when you happened in his life just like that?

So, yeah. At first, Bucky’s nights are always accompanied by the ghosts of his past.

But he’s come to learn that right now is the most important thing in his life, that he can’t change the past but he can hope for the future. A future where you’re with him, not clueless about the things he’s done but aware enough to know that even though he’ll probably be scarred forever, he was never the one at fault in everything that happened.

Back then, he dreaded the silence and the darkness of the night. Right now, he can’t help but appreciate how tender the atmosphere feels.

The clock set on his bedside table is shining as it marks 3:00AM and even though Bucky’s still awake, the light feeling flaring on his chest makes the entire situation completely different from the ones he’s lived through during his stay in Romania. He feels a good kind of drowsy, just the right amount to make his movements slow and lazy but still not enough to make him fall asleep just yet.

He knows the reason behind it and almost as if knowing his thoughts, the same one breaks up the gentle silence filling the moon lit room.

“Are you going to fall asleep on me?” You ask with a small smile, head resting on his chest and hair tickling his skin as all Bucky can seem to do is hum lazily in response, eyes closed but lips holding back a grin because he can feel your stare upon his frame as you continue. “If I reckon correctly, Mr. Barnes, you said that you had plans for the night. Am I wrong?”

With your words out, Bucky fails miserably in his attempt of trying to hold back a smile and as soon as he opens his eyes, his chest warms up with affection and love as he takes in the sight of you against him.

Years ago, he was in Romania barely holding himself together.

His nights were lonely and troubling and even through his constant state of denial, a small part of him longed for someone to accept him, even when he thought no one deserved a man as fucked up as he was. He longed for someone who’d make him feel anything but heartbreak, anything but the way his mind was broken. He longed for someone that would help him heal.

Shuri fixes him in the literal meaning of the word. And he thinks he’s healed until he meets you. And so he realizes – back then, he was just fixed but right now, he’s healed.

And it’s exactly all this that heals him every single day of his life.

A night where he can’t be further away from loneliness, lying by your side in the little apartment he was able to afford in his home borough. A night where your body finds solace in his arms and your skin makes home against his. A night where he’s granted with the pretty sight of you clad in one of his numerous black t-shirts and a pair of cotton panties.

A night where everything feels tender, to the thoughts in his mind to the feel of your hands on his chest.

“I’m not fallin’ asleep.” Bucky drawls, a tinge of amusement lighting up his voice as shifts on the bed to crawl on top of you, right arm set on one side of your face to hold up his weight as the left moves to your pull your leg around his waist. “But if we follow my plans right now we might wake up the neighbors, just so y’know.”

Your laugh feels like a reward for the tiring day of training he’s had in Tower earlier and it’s impossible to hold back a smile of his own once the sound fills up the room. It’s dark and the bedroom is poorly illuminated but his eyes can spot every detail on your face from the privileged point of view.

The form of your lips, the shape of your eyes, the tip of your nose. The little spots that you hate and the skin that he loves. It’s like he can never get enough.

When his head dips down, Bucky revels on the way you instantly bare the expanse of your neck to his mouth. With his brown hair falling in curtains around his face and your cheek, his gentle kisses trail all the way up to your ear, going down to your cheeks and chin and jawline until his lips are on yours and you’re sighing compliant at the rough feel of his growing beard.

Bucky’s not prepared to stop – not when your hands make its way to his exposed back by trailing its fingertips through his shivering skin and most definitely not when your hips are squirming under his.

So he can’t help but grumble in mild frustration when you pull back out of nowhere.

“You said we can’t wake the neighbors. And you did got a complaint about noise last month, so...” You let your words trail though you’re smiling, feeling Bucky’s own smile against your skin as his face is pressed against your collarbones, lips still pressing little kisses until you pull him back again. “Let’s talk about something else, shall we?”

Bucky can only hum in feigned annoyance as he falls back on the bed, his hair covering the pillows in a way that makes your heart tingle with affection. But as soon as he’s settled down again, his hands are reaching for your waist and he’s pulling you to his top instead, a little yelp escaping from your lips as you straddle his waist and rest your hands on his chest to steady yourself.

Right now, the clock is hitting 3:20AM but neither of you are feeling a tinge of sleep anymore.

“You wanna talk about that night we got the noise complaint? ‘Cause I remember all ‘bout it.” Bucky says smugly, his accent slipping through every word and giving away how relaxed he’s currently feeling despite the not-so-gentle slap you grant him with after the said comment. “C’mon, doll. It was a good night.”

He laughs with that glint in his eyes and locks his gaze on you, waiting eagerly for your admission to come alight through your clearly broken resolve.

Holding back a smirk of your own, you keep yourself silent as you lean down over him and rest your head on his chest again, heartbeat drumming against your ear as Bucky raises a hand to push a few strands of hair away from your face. When a little sigh escape from your lips, Bucky can’t help but chuckle because he knows you’re about to give in.

“Okay, yeah. Especially when you did that thing with your fingers– that you should do again sometime.” You admit coyly, burying your face against his chest with a smile when he laughs openly, the sweet sound bringing butterflies to your stomach as you press a kiss to his skin. “You’re so good, Bucky Barnes.”

As soon as your words hit home, Bucky feels his heart speed up almost instantly.

He knows he’s come a long way to come into terms with his past. He knows that for every single person who villify him, there are five more willing to defend him. He knows he’s got you by his side at all times. And although it was hard, he’s come to accept himself as the man he is now, good and bad deeds included.

Bucky can be a man out of time, an ex-assassin, a soldier, Avenger, whatever people want to label him as now. A good man, even if every now and then he feels like it’s a little too hard to believe in that.

“That’s all on you, sweetheart.” He says after a heartbeat of silence, sounding light in a way you know he’s smiling joavially even though you’re not looking at him, your eyes closed as you take in the soft feel of his fingers on your sides. “You make me feel like I’m a good man.”

Fingertips reaching for his neck and making its way into his hair, you lean up to press your lips against his again, smiling against his mouth when he hums contently at the tender way you’re kissing him. Even though it doesn’t last for long.

Bucky’s hands soon are sliding to your hips, fingers hooking through the waistband of your panties as he pulls you closer to him and takes the time to slide his lips to your neck with not so light sucks he knows will be marked by tomorrow. Just in time as he gets his hands under your shirt, trailing softly on the smooth skin of your back, you pull back again but this time laughing at his pained groan.

“Let’s do something! Take your Harley and go somewhere!” You beam up at him, balancing your hands on each side of his face as you prop yourself up with a smile that he’s fully aware can make him do anything. “Let’s go to a diner and grab burgers somewhere like Coney Island or something. Please?”

Bucky genuinely loves the idea but even if he didn’t, he’d indulge you anyway just to see you brimming happiness around him. It’s a little sacrifice that can make his days worth it, if anything.

So as soon as he nods his head with a soft ‘let’s do it!’, you’re hopping off the bed with an excited shriek, making three steps to the closet before coming all the way back to press a deep kiss against his grinning lips, hands squishing his cheeks before you run again to grab your clothes.

It doesn’t take long until you’re both dressed – his shirt now tucked inside the waistband of your shorts, matching with your sneakers and hoodie. Meanwhile Bucky doesn’t even bother, his sweatpants, shirt and leather jacket doing enough for a mid-night food run. With his Harley’s keys in hand and your frame tucked under his arm, you’re off to go into an adventure he could never see it coming hours ago.

A little more than thirty minutes later and you’re both with your feet on the sand, hands busy with the bags of burgers and fries and milk-shakes as you walk around for the perfect spot.

Bucky does little to hide his smiles as he watches you fumble around with your phone and earbuds while trying to balance the little milk-shake tray between your fingers, your laugh echoing through the silent beach in a way that makes him feel nothing less than complete.

But now as you sit down on the sand with Bucky’s jacket under you, the first thing to worry about is the music.

“Okay, Bucky Barnes, you gotta tell me what’s your music mood today.” You speak up as seriously as you can, breaking your façade with a little grin as Bucky offers you a fry and you don’t hesitate before taking it from his fingers. “You can’t say Justin Bieber though. I’ve heard his last two albums jamming in the tower’s gym for too long now.”

Bucky just keeps his unimpressed face and you can’t help but laugh, almost breaking his act by kneeling beside him and wrapping your arms around his neck with a little salty peck to his lips.

As soon as you sit back down though, his sour face is back in just a flick of a moment.

“Gotta blame that damn bird for that.” Bucky grumbles as he ruffles through the bag of food, his friendly beef with Sam instantly making you laugh as he affectionately refers to the said man as ‘bird’, forgoing his real name as he always does. “Keeps that goddamn awful pop music of his all fuckin’ morning.”

You laugh heartily but don’t say a thing, choosing to nestle your frame beside his as you keep scrolling religiously through your music app, only stopping every now and then when Bucky himself takes the task to feed you instead, popping a few fries to your mouth and placing the milk-shake’s cup straw between your fingers.

Bucky doesn’t mind it one bit but once he catches a glimpse of your phone screen with a growing playlist taking up the space, he’s most definitely lying if he says he’s not touched by it.

Things have changed so much, more than anyone will ever realize.

His nights, that were always accompanied by the ghosts of his past and the paranoias of his mind, are now filled with sweet kisses, soft beach sounds, comfort food and gentle music in form of bucky and [y/n]’s night out playlist. He’s so taken by the moment that he doesn’t even notice your commotion as you happily press play on the finished piece, only breaking out of his reverie when your voice takes on the singing beside him.

With the come and go of songs, it feels like the hours pass by in minutes and soon the sun is threatening the comforting darkness you’ve been in so far.

Back then, the sunrise would be a painful evidence of his haunted mind and lingering troubles. Right now, it just feels like the perfect moment to hold you in his arms and admire the beauty of it for the first time.

So with your back against his chest and arms around your frame, you and Bucky settle to watch the sunrise, one of your favorite songs playing in the background and mixing with the pleasant sound of the waves hitting the shore.

Feeling his beard scratching the nape of your neck as he presses gentle kisses to the spot, you smile contently before turning around inside his hold – arms around his neck to push him down to lay back in the sand with a chuckle. His hair does the same thing as it did on the pillows and you look at him like he’s an angel. Because he kinda looks like one right now.

Mouths barely touching and noses nuzzling against one another, you can only sigh dreamily at him.

“Wish we could stay here forever. Skip work and school and all that to just stay here.” You chuckle affectionately over his lips, eyes fluttering at the feel of his fingertips brushing over your burning cheeks before you lean closer to his touch with a sheepish smile. “We should stay here forever.”

Bucky huffs out a little laugh, lips meeting yours in a barely there kiss as both of his arms fall over your frame, his hold tightening around you so you’re comfortably nestled against him as he ponders over the idea.

Both of you know it’s silly but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t feel good.

Bucky can’t say the idea isn’t appealing and he can’t help but wonder if maybe, in a few years from now, you both will be able to bring that thought to reality. Maybe, in a few years, in a world where he’s no longer needed or wanted for his bloodied hands. A world where his name can be right next to yours, if he’s not asking for too much.

He likes the idea but he likes right now too – a night where he can’t be further away from loneliness, lying with you in his favorite spot from his home borough. A night where he’s dared to hope for the future for the first time and a night where his past is a distant thought in his mind.

So with a hope filled heart and an eye for the future he’s just thought of, Bucky doesn’t spend another second to assure it.

“We will.”