#Dr. Garrison being “forced” to be the pirate queen but really she's been running everything behind the scenes the whole time

[sophieswundergarten]

#their pirate ship just being his evil cruise ship from the end of the season <3 lgfdkjdfgfg#and curtain just is like i shall take up the sword and defeat my brothers ship!#[gets on] oh this smells bad#[it starts moving] oh nvm im bout to puke. GARRISONNN

(Tags from @bi-demon-ium)

crack au wherein the team are a crew of pirates but it’s all very robin hood and kids movie “pirates” but really we’re basically a wandering band of vagabonds and heroes, stealing from assholes and the government, helping the poor, etc. anyway they’ve got their top ranking crew members–the first mate, number two, fearsome and kind of bizarre, the–okay, i’m gonna be real, i don’t know or understand ship or pirate ranks, but we’ve also got milligan (hulking giant of a man, can absolutely destroy you) and rhonda (master of disguise and deception!) and so on. and then you’ve got the captain. mysterious, terrifying captain benedict, who no one has ever seen and left alive. you know, supposedly. so when a bunch of kids stowaway on the ship, thinking it’s the merchant ship the shortcut, or something along those lines, realize they are actually on famed fearsome pirate ship green mystery (dont ask me where im getting that name i have no fucking idea) they’re like “oh! shit!” and are naturally, although they nearly avoid it by being incredibly clever, found out. or hey, maybe even only some of them are found out, but kate manages to evade capture by clinging to the rafters, or reynie gives himself up as a distraction. either way, some or all of them are taken to the mysterious captain expecting god knows what–someone scary! someone tall and intimidating! some mean and tough! and instead they get this kindly looking worried professor-type who seems much more inclined to fuss over whether they’re sick from being down there for so long or if they’ve eaten enough than throw them overboard. he’s a genius, sure, and he’s helped orchestrate god knows how many wild missions and adventures to steal shit from assholes (including his brother, who probably has a high position in government, not that he knows that’s who it is yet due to his assumed name) and help people they come across, but while he can defend himself he’s not really the fighting type, he’s the planning type, and also yes he does dangerous things NO HE WOULD NEVER ENDANGER A CHILD ARE YOU INSANE come kids we shall get you plenty of food and a proper place to sleep 

[mvshortcut]

tags via @sophieswundergarten

#I am fully invested in this idea and I want it to happen so bad#It would be funny if the kids were like an average street gang or whatever and were trying to escape Curtain's men who snatch children#off the street to pressgang them into working for his privateers#But Constance gets them to go on the pirate ship instead of just the Shortcut because treasure#And Kate LOVES it because circus is basically the same as climbing to the crows nest#And Sticky loves learning about marine biology and pirate politics and stuff#(And finally getting practical experience with swordfighting I love that so much)#And REYNIE “kidnapping” SQ YES!!!!!!!!!!#Dr. Garrison being “forced” to be the pirate queen but really she's been running everything behind the scenes the whole time#And the only issue she has is that Curtain's making her dress up and do publicity stuff instead of the practical masterminding she prefers#And Curtain absolutely failing at being a seaman#I feel like Curtain would definitely have gotten separated from Nicholas and made himself a Fancy Government Privateer Guy#Without ever considering that he might need to actually GO ON THE OCEAN for that to work#Until he wants to go after his brother and SQ of course#But then he panics and forces Garrison to perform all the revenge speeches he's been writing and hiding in his desk for years#For when he fantasized about capturing Nicholas#But she refuses and it's amazing#Also the idea of J&J trading the first mate position and whichever one is not on deck is in the rigging so they can jump down and#Swap at a moment's notice while the other one foes off to hide and make it look like there was only ever one of them there#Every other time Garrison looks away they trade places

crack au wherein the team are a crew of pirates but it’s all very robin hood and kids movie “pirates” but really we’re basically a wandering band of vagabonds and heroes, stealing from assholes and the government, helping the poor, etc. anyway they’ve got their top ranking crew members–the first mate, number two, fearsome and kind of bizarre, the–okay, i’m gonna be real, i don’t know or understand ship or pirate ranks, but we’ve also got milligan (hulking giant of a man, can absolutely destroy you) and rhonda (master of disguise and deception!) and so on. and then you’ve got the captain. mysterious, terrifying captain benedict, who no one has ever seen and left alive. you know, supposedly. so when a bunch of kids stowaway on the ship, thinking it’s the merchant ship the shortcut, or something along those lines, realize they are actually on famed fearsome pirate ship green mystery (dont ask me where im getting that name i have no fucking idea) they’re like “oh! shit!” and are naturally, although they nearly avoid it by being incredibly clever, found out. or hey, maybe even only some of them are found out, but kate manages to evade capture by clinging to the rafters, or reynie gives himself up as a distraction. either way, some or all of them are taken to the mysterious captain expecting god knows what–someone scary! someone tall and intimidating! some mean and tough! and instead they get this kindly looking worried professor-type who seems much more inclined to fuss over whether they’re sick from being down there for so long or if they’ve eaten enough than throw them overboard. he’s a genius, sure, and he’s helped orchestrate god knows how many wild missions and adventures to steal shit from assholes (including his brother, who probably has a high position in government, not that he knows that’s who it is yet due to his assumed name) and help people they come across, but while he can defend himself he’s not really the fighting type, he’s the planning type, and also yes he does dangerous things NO HE WOULD NEVER ENDANGER A CHILD ARE YOU INSANE come kids we shall get you plenty of food and a proper place to sleep