#Don't wanna do that anymore either am more happy to spend a few hours during the day with her
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Identifying which things are incredibly difficult for me because of adhd, and deciding to no longer do them, instead of forcing myself to do them because I should be able to do them, is honestly so freeing.
#personal#The constant information that'd be put in my brain by texts and all the little emotional responses that come with it#Was so fucking overwhelming and infuriating so I've decided to just check my texts twice a week#And the constant information and stimuli that'd come with using certain apps is kinda exhausting so I've deleted most apps#And am gonna work on spending less time on the ones left#I'm now more aware of others situations I keep finding myself in that make me overdtimulated and exhausted#And I'm gonna hopefully just not do those anymore and find replacement activities#I was shopping with my sister and I was so overstimulated from all the people and sounds and smells#And having to have a conversation with my sister with music blasting#And it's like this everytime so maybe I should just not do that anymore#And I just went out for dinner with my mother and my niece and she had a breakdown and she always does in the evening 'cause she's Done#And I don't wanna do that either#I'm fully zoned out now because I got more stimuli in one hour than I normally do in four days#Painting with her this afternoon was perfect and quiet but God all those people and kids......#Don't wanna do that anymore either am more happy to spend a few hours during the day with her#If only my sister didn't live two hours away I could#I'll figure something out#Personal#Everybody's always like God you're so autistic and like... maybe you're all just incredibly fucking loud All the time#Just ordered those loop earplugs and I'm gonna take some steps to start working from home more#'Cause my administration days are a huge struggle. I'm constantly being interrupted and bothered by people#I'm sick of trying to force myself to do the 'normal' thing. It's obviously not working.
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It Was You All Along // Dave Lizewski
requested by a lovely anon 💕
Can u write dave x fem!reader where reader Always had a crush on him but he kinda ignored reader bc of Katie but then someone popular asks reader out and he gets jealous and y/n dresses up super hot and he realizes he fucked up
word count: 1809
a/n: i hope this is close enough! ❤️ (i couldn't think of a different title but this one reminds me of Agatha All Along xd)
"Hey, Dave! My folks are gone for the weekend and I thought we could have an X-men watch party. Wanna come?"
"Sorry I can't, I'm hanging out with Katie."
"Again?" you ask a bit louder than intended,causing a few people to look at you in the hallway. You continue with a lower voice "Aren't you like, tired of all the lying? Like, what if she finds out that you're not actually gay, hm? Cause you know she will, eventually."
"Why do you care so much?!" Dave says, clearly frustrated.
You raise an eyebrow.
"Oh why would I? Maybe because we have been best friends since diapers, you stupid asshole!" you say not caring if some students hear you or not, anymore. "But you know what, you are right. I shouldn't care. Go play pretend with Katie but don't come to me, crying when you end up getting your heart broken."
"Don't worry, I won't." he snaps back. And you turn around and leave but not before flipping him off. You felt the angry tears rolling down your cheeks as you zigzagged between the chattering teenagers.
You couldn’t believe how Dave could be so blind! He only had eyes for Miss Perfect. Whom by the way, is a real bitch and would go back to ignoring Dave or calling him a freak if it wasn’t for his little gay act.
Somehow you made your way over to the restroom and locked yourself into one of the booths.
Dave couldn’t even see you as a potential “love-interest”. Eventhough you were the one who always were there for him, you were always there when he called, running to him like a lost puppy. And he couldn’t even care less. And you hate him for it. But you hate yourself more for still liking him.
It’s not like you can do something about it, if you could, you would have. But that’s not how it works, so you are just crying your guts out on the toilet trying not to think about Dave.
In all honesty, you have no idea how you made it through the day. You almost cried during biology but you caught yourself after a few lonely tears. You could feel Dave’s gaze on you but there was no way you would look at him. As soon as the last bell rang you were out of school, hurring past Tod and Marty, not being in the mood for them either.
The next day wasn’t any different, you didn’t hang with Dave, Tod and Marty like you normally do. You didn’t sit with them at lunch, instead walked over to the only empty table you saw and placed your tray there. You mounched on your food, completely unaware of your surroundings until you hear the chair next to you being pulled out. You look up to see Matthew Greendale, resident hottie of the school sit next to you.
"Hey, sorry, it's not a problem if I sit here, right?" he asks. You eyed him suspiciously.
"No, it's fine."
It's fine?! You mentally scold yourself. You never even spoke to this guy, outside of literature in first year. Why would he sit next to you?
"I didn't want to sit with all the other "popular jocks" he answered you unspoken question while taking a bite of his canteen-hamburger. “They’re fun and everything but it’s nice to get away from them sometimes.”
You think of your friends who are sitting a few tables away and you can’t help but agree with Matthew.
“Yeah, I feel you.” you say without thinking.
“Hey..We used to sit next to each other in freshman year, didn’t we? It’s y/n ,right?”
You nod with a smile, honestly being surprised that he remembers you.
“Yeah!”
“I haven’t really seen you around a lot. But when I do you are always hanging with those comic book nerds.”
“Hey! Comics are great.”
He puts his hands up in a defense.
“Oh no! I didn’t mean it as an insult. Some comics are good, my little brother made read one last month. It was actually great.”
“What comic was it?”
“Oh, uhm..It was about some kind of blind dude in a devil costume.”
“Daredevil?” you ask with a giggle.
“Yes, that one!” he laughs too.
The two of you continue talking until the end of lunch break. He is surprisingly fun to talk to and he even offers to walk you to your next class after lunch. You had such a good time you didn’t even think about Dave, heck, you didn’t even notice him literally glaring daggers into Matthew.
“What’s up with you, dude?” Tod asks snapping Dave out of it.
“Yeah, Dave. What the shit is going on with you and Y/N?” Marty asks too.
Dave forrows is eyebrows. Yes, what the shit is going on with the two of you? Every since yesterday's 'fight' with you he can't stop thinking. About how he spends most, if not all of his time either with being Kick-Ass or, rather with Katie. It used to be different. He spent every second with you and he just threw you away so he could maybe get laid. And sure, Katie may be hot as fuck but she is.. Well, she is not you.
"We had a fight, yesterday. I.. And she was right." he explains with a grimace. "But why the fuck is that Greendale asshole is with her?"
"You jealous or something, dude?"
"Wha- Of course I am not jealous! Why would I be? You guys are nuts."
Jealous… The word rolled around in his mouth like a new flavored milkshake he never tasted before.
Could he be… Jealous? He never thought of you that way, you were always his best friend. Just that. But.. The more he thinks about it the more he can't stop that twist like feeling in his stomach.
That night he can't focus on crime fighting. All his thoughts are tied to you. Whether he likes it or not, memories of you keep popping up in his mind. How didn't he notice your beautiful smile before? And your laugh? It's like a beautiful melody. And… Gosh! When did he become such a sappy teenager? Oh and another thing.. He kept trying to think of something else, anything else like Katie for example but he doesn't care anymore!
Dave goes home early with a frustrated growl. The remaining hours of the night he spends with tossing and turning and daydreaming instead of sleeping.
(the next afternoon, Atomic Comics)
Dave bangs his head against the wood table once again. A tired groan leaves his lips when he hears Tod almost choking on his iced coffee.
"What the tunk, Tod?" Marty and Dave ask almost at the same time. The dirty blonde haired boy keeps pointing outside the huge window that they are sitting next to at Atomic Comics.
"Is that fucking y/n?!"
Now all three of them look outside the shop and see you, all dressed up nad seemingly waiting for someone.
"Holy fuck!" Dave whispers. He stares at you, with his mouth a gap before jumping up from the booth they were sitting at and rushing outside the store.
"Y/n! Y/-" he yells almost tripping on thin air.
"Dave?" you question, quickly turning towards him. Damn, you missed him. No! Yeah, you did… "What do you want?"
"What do I- What, can't I talk to you?"
"If you wanted to talk you would have in these past days!" you say. Yes, you might have missed him, but it's not like you're gonna show it. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I am waiting for my date to show up."
"Your.. Your what, now?!"
"My date"
"You can't go on a date!"
"And why is that, Lizewski?"
"Lizewski? Really, you're calling me by my surname? Are we in such a bad place right now?"
"I don't know, you tell me. Are you going to tell me what i can and can't do, hm?"
"I didn't mean it like that. I just…"
"What, it's fine when you say it but when I do it with you about Katie I'm the bad friend?"
"No,it's just-"
"Sorry. Matt's here." you point to the street across the road where you saw the boy walk towards you. "I gotta go."
You start walking away but Dave grabs your wrist.
"Please, don't." he mumbles.
"Why not?" you snap at him but your expressions soften upon your eyes land on his saddened face.
"I- because I don't want you with him. O-or anyone."
You raise an eyebrow.
"What?"
He took a deep breath before looking around. Matt was waiting patiently by the traffic light so he could cross the road. Dave quickly began explaining.
"You were right. About Katie. I was such a dickhead, I am so sorry, y/n. I am sorry for ignoring you over her and and.." from the corner of his eye he sees the traffic light turn green. "Shit! I don't want you to go out with Greendale cause I.. Because I like you. Like really fucking like you. And oh my god you look so fucking hot in this outfit, not that you're not always hot but holy shit. I know we are just friends and you don't think of me that way but I ju-"
"Oh my god! Do you ever shut up?" you yell before pressing your lips to his. Dave stumbled back a little, but quickly recovered and kissed back. Your hands cupped his face and his hands grabbed your waist in response. You both tilled your heads, deepening the kiss earning loud knocking from Marty and Tod as they watched the whole scene through the window. Not that you noticed any of it. You didn't hear the passing by car honk at you nor the yells or whistles. You also did not notice Matthew walking away with a sad smile after seeing the two of you. Your touches intertwine and you're pretty sure you heard Dave moan slightly which causes you to giggle into the kiss. You both pull away gasping for air. You look down at your shoes, hoping to hide your flushed cheeks. Dave scratches his back and looks around nervously only to see his two idiotic friends making kissy faces. He lifts his middle finger for them before clearing his throat.
"So.. Khm.. I guess you like me too?"
You let out a soft chuckle.
"Yeah, I do." you say looking at him with a smile.
"That's.. Fuck. That's great." he replied genuinely happy. "Wanna get out of here?"
You nod and you take off. You take Dave's hand and he intertwines your fingers with a smile. Maybe he is truly a superhero. He helps people and he gets the girl of his dreams. The happy ending.
Dave Lizewski taglist : @sethcohenluvr @your-hispanichufflepuff
#dave lizewski x reader#Dave lizewski one shot#dave lizewski imagine#kick ass imagine#kick ass x reader#kick ass one shot#gif not mine#aaron taylor johnson#alias imagines
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Imagine Celebrating Your and Jamie’s Daughter’s Birthday ( #28 - I don't like you, get out of my fort. )
A/N : You might wanna check out this imagine as this could perfectly be a part 2 for that one, but if you don't wanna read it, it won't affect how you'll read or understand this one. Also, if you’re interested, don't forget to check out my fanfiction here.
- - -
Jamie and you welcomed a little girl into the world four years ago today. Well, not exactly four years. There were a couple hours left until it was Evelyn's birthday, or Eve for short, and you were making the most of the time that you had left with your daughter while she was still a three year old, and that meant one thing... building forts!!! Not only you were enjoying her last couple hours as a three year old but you were also waiting for Jamie to get home so you could celebrate her birthday at midnight. Yes, you were breaking a lot of rules, I mean, her bedtime was supposed to be at 9 P.M. ... but tomorrow (which was just two hours away) was a special day. It was her fourth birthday, and Jamie and you had taken the day off work to spend with her. You'd go to the zoo during the day and then in the evening you'd go over to Henry and Frank's house where Jamie's and your family would meet and sing Eve happy birthday.
"Ah!" You exclaimed. "I heard the door! Is it daddy?" You asked in a whisper.
You two built forts with every pillow you had in the house and were hiding inside the soft fort.
"Shh! Mommy! We can't tell daddy we're here!" She replied with a whisper while she cover your mouth with her hands. "Okay... but why?" "Because this is a girl's fort!"
You giggled in silence at her antics and kept quiet.
"Y/N?" You heard him call out. "Eve?"
She couldn't contain herself and started giggling, letting him know where she was, although you were sure he would find out soon because of how bare the whole house looked right now without the pillows you were hiding under.
He figured what was happening so he played along and put on his silliest face and kneeled down in front of where you were sitting.
"Eve? You were building forts with mommy?" He asked with a funny voice.
This was one of the 93736271818 reasons why you loved Jamie with all your heart and soul - he was the best father. Literally the best father ever, the father every girl wish they'd have. He was a cop and sure, he had to have a tough side but his sweet side made him the sweetest man in the whole wide world. He was a sweetheart to you while you dated and while you were married and just the two of you but, ever since Evelyn was born, he became a whole different person, for the better, and you couldn't feel happier. He loved her endlessly and so did she. She was the sweetest little girl ever, and, like every little girl in the world, she was kind of obsessed with her parents. You and Jamie meant the world to her and every little second she spent with you two, she absolutely loved.
"Yes!" "Can I join you?" He asked getting under the pillows. "No! Daddy, you can't!" She squealed while pushing him away. "I don't like you, get out of my fort."
She was just fooling around with him and you watched, mesmerized by how amazing your life is and by how lucky you got, until your thoughts got by interrupted by him, playing along with Eve.
"You don't like daddy?!" He asked pretending to be shocked. "That's gonna make daddy sad!"
He pretended to be crying and she giggled at him, pulling him back under the fort with her and you.
"Don't be sad, daddy. I was just playing, I love you." She said with the sweetest voice, making your heart melt.
You could tell by the look on his face that he melted at what she said as well, and next thing you know he was pulling her in for a hug and attacked her with a bunch of kisses on her cheek making her giggle even more, before she sat down on his lap.
You could not stop smiling. This was all you've ever wanted, your dream, and when it came true, it was way better than you had ever imagined.
Your daughter busied herself with the dolls she brought with her and you moved closer to them.
"How was your day?" You asked settling down next to Jamie. "Good. Normal. Got a case of a robbery but, we ended it smoothly." "Oh that's good." "Can you believe it? It's been almost four years." "I know... seems like it was yesterday when we brought her home for the first time. She was so tiny...." You commented while staring at your daughter in her father's arms. "She was..." He agreed taking a look at her too. "Who was tiny?" She interrupted.
You two smiled at her, after she asked that innocent question, and you quickly replied her.
"You, my little monkey."
She giggled and played a bit more inside the fort while you two talked and just looked her, looked at your biggest blessing, until it was almost midnight.
"Hey Eve, mommy and daddy will be right back!" You said before getting up with Jamie making your way to the kitchen.
"You got the chocolate chip cupcake?" You asked him before leaning on the counter. "Yes. And I found one with pink frosting. It's strawberry flavored." "Good job!" You praised with a wink. "She's gonna love it." "Did you got the purple candle?" He asked now. "Yep, and I bought one with silver glitter on it!" "Perfect." "We make a great team, don't we?" "We do." He agreed with a smile. "You're the most amazing dad, Evelyn is so lucky to have you and I am so lucky to have you too as my partner in this... we're the lucky ones." You said as he got the cupcake on a plate and put the candle on it. "Nah... I am."
Neither of you wanted to fight it off, you knew you couldn't win with Jamie either so it was hopeless. He always said he was the luckiest guy on the planet and he always made you and your daughter feel like you two were the most special girls alive.
You lit the candle and after you checked the clock and made sure it was time, you walked alongside with Jamie to where Eve was and got under the fort again, this time while singing "Happy Birthday" to her which made her smile big and sing along too, you sat on each side of her so she was in the middle.
After you finished she blew the candles and squealed with joy and happiness. And that was all you and Jamie wished for her. Not only at four years old, but for the rest of her life.
"Happy birthday, sweetie!" He said as he hugged her and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Happy birthday, baby!" You said too while kissing her cheek. "Thank you!" She replied, still smiling.
"You wanna eat the cupcake?" Jamie asked while putting it down. "Yes!"
You fed her the chocolate chip cupcake - her ( and your ) favorite - while Jamie took some pictures, although, you had all the memories you needed recorded on your minds.
She got pretty tired pretty much instantly. Even as a baby she'd always refuse to sleep until Jamie got home, but eventually she got used to him coming home late, but today they'd told her they'd sing her a happy birthday at midnight and her father would come home a couple hours before so, she had more than one reason to stay up excitedly, until she couldn't take it anymore and fell asleep with her head resting peacefully on Jamie's lap, while you stroked her hair.
"She's exhausted..." He commented looking down on her. "She really is... let's put her in her bed."
You got up and so did Jamie, carrying Evelyn and making your way down the hall to her bedroom to lay her down and tuck her in. You did all of that and she didn't open her eyes once - she was really fast asleep already.
You both kissed her goodnight, although she wasn't aware of any of that, and lit the presence light before walking out and going to your own bedroom, pretty tired as well.
"Wow... four years." You commented while taking off your clothes and putting on your pajamas. "I know..." "I think we should do this every year on her birthday - wait till midnight to wish her a happy birthday." "She didn't even stay up to open her gifts..." He commented with a laugh thinking back at how tired she was. "Yeah I know, but... as the years go by she'll be able to stay up longer and I think it'd be a good tradition." "Honey, I totally agree I'm just saying, don't expect much in these next few years because she'll still be very young. And she's not quite used to staying up late. You don't wanna go back to up-all-night-Eve . She was a piece of work." "Ugh... tell me about it." You replied with a sigh. "But ultimately, it's a good idea and I think we should do it." "Yay!" You said hugging him from the side.
He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer to him, kissing your forehead.
"It's a nice tradition for the three of us." You said as you let go of his embrace and crawled your way to your side of the bed. "Umm... the three of us?" He questioned, trying to make sure he heard right. "Yeah, the three of us - me, you and Eve." You replied not quite understanding where he was coming from.
He slid down on the bed, next to you, and looked at you, confused again.
During these past four years you had definitely talked about having more kids, and Jamie had always showed his desire for "at least three more" , probably because he was raised with his three siblings, but you never gave him a solid answer.
"Don't you wanna have more kids, Y/N ?"
That was definitely something to be thought through carefully. Your job was dangerous, and you were an only child and you saw yourself in Evelyn a lot, but you made sure she never felt alone. Plus she was definitely a daddy's girl and you were scared another person coming in to the world to steal her daddy's attention would make her sad. Not to mention you had some issues during labor and you definitely didn't want to go through that again. Although the doctor said it was normal as it was your first pregnancy. And to be honest, looking back now, it was all worth it. And as said before, you were an only child and you absolutely hated being one. But you still had to think about it.
"I don't know, Jamie...." "You always say that." He stated with some disappointment in his voice. "I know... I mean, I do, but... there's a lot of other things to consider when it comes to having more kids." "Like?" "Like, how would Eve feel? Am I really able to give birth to another baby?" "Hey, I know you got really scared when it was Eve's birth, I did too, we all did but... You're so strong. You're the strongest woman I know and I know for sure you'd be able to have another one."
You smiled at him and laid your head in his chest while he ran his fingers through your hair.
"Thank you." "Plus... the baby making process would be so much fun!"
You lift your head up a few inches while laughing and rested it back on his chest again.
"Well, we can still have fun and not make a baby. It's 2017, baby!" "Yeah but, it wouldn't be the same. We wouldn't have something to look forward too." "Alright... all of this talking is really starting to convince me. I'll still have to do some thinking but, I think it's safe to say you can start working on your baby making skills." You teased while you rolled over so you were now with one elbow on the matress and your hand was caressing him in his chest. He shared a laugh with you and pulled you closer to him as he covered both of you with the bed sheets and the comforter.
"I love you." He said before kissing the top of your head. "I love you too." You said wrapping your arms tighly around each other.
You had to admit it - the thought of having a newborn again wasn't unpleasant. Their smell - God their smell is the best - , their first everything - the first smile, the first meal, the first teeth, the little toes and little hands... Somehow, after all this conversation, you were actually leaning in to the idea of having another family member.
Maybe next year it wont be just the three of you. Maybe there'd be someone else to celebrate their sister's birthday.
#jamie reagan#jamie#reagan#blue bloods#cbs#fanfiction#imagine#blue bloods imagine#excerpt from a book i'll never write#writting#writer#tvshow#jamie x oc#will estes#danny reagan#erin reagan#frank reagan#henry reagan#imagines
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