#DID YOU KNOW you have to butcher 5 followers for a relic?? and you need all of them for an achievement?? I DIDN'T WANNA DO THAT!!!!!!!!!

[ricknonsence]

FINALLY!!!

[dzthenerd490]

Addendum X-46

Warning! The following is to only be seen by administrators and O5 council members. If you are not of Level 5 Clearance, you will be exterminated by order of the O5 council!

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VIEWING OF ADDENDUM X-46 APPROVED

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The following is a recording between Site Director Nancy James and the "Librarian of Truth" who are discussing how to deal with SCP-AFC. 

Begin Recording

Site Director James: Alright here I am, what do you need to discuss?

"Seeker of Truth": ...

Site Director James: ... Really? The silent treatment, I hate that! Come on, your men are waiting and so are mine so can we just get to the point? 

"Seeker of Truth": ... Your a jailer and yet you hold anomalies very closely to you.

Site Director James: You mean Gizmo? Yeah, I guess. 

"Seeker of Truth": A name, you're not like the other jailers, I knew speaking with you was the right choice. 

Site Director James: Choice for what? 

"Seeker of Truth": ... Leave Ms. Frizzle alone.

Site Director James: Who? Wait, Ms. Frizzzle... You mean SCP-AFC.

"Seeker of Truth": ... I though you respected anomalies. 

Site Director James: Sorry but I don't know her personally so it's a force of habit to call her a by her designated number. 

"Seeker of Truth": Those were letters. 

Site Director James: ... Regardless, why do you want us to leave her alone? And why should we listen? 

"Seeker of Truth": She is no harm to your... Foundation... also, if you persist in trying to contain her, we will use excessive force. 

Site Director James: You'll lose.

"Seeker of Truth": Probably but-

Site Director James: No, definitely, you will lose.

"Seeker of Truth": Don't be so cocky Jailer, for you-

Site Director James: YOU WILL LOSE! You will be shot down, your library will be burned down, and you'll all die... I don't want that, do you? 

"Seeker of Truth": ... No.

Site Director James: Yet you're willing to declare war over one anomaly? 

"Seeker of Truth": We've been wanting to declare war for ALL of the relics and children you call anomalies! But we have had to pick our battles in order to prevent our extinction by your hands as well as the hands of the butchers. This is one of those battles we are prepared to fight. For the Serpent, his treasures, and his children, we will liberate all. 

Site Director James: ... What makes you think I can ensure this?

"Seeker of Truth": Even if it's not you, the Foundation has been more lenient towards its prisoners and has even given them new cages. Their still cages in the end but now ones that are humane enough to be considered houses if you squint your eyes enough. 

Site Director James: True but the higher ups only allow this for anomalies that can benefit the Foundation. What benefit would leaving SCP-AFC alone, bring us?

"Seeker of Truth": More cooperation. We have not forgotten the battle we faced against The Virus where we fought together, even alongside the children of the stars. If you would be more indulgent to our demands, we would be more indulgent to your laws. 

Site Director James: ... I'll have to speak with the higher ups and other administrative staff, but SCP-AFC has proven nearly impossible to capture anyways. We even tried asking professionals to get her but when we did Dr. Stefansdottir just came back with a lolipop and said to give up. 

"Seeker of Truth": The Witch of All?

Site Director James: Is that what you guys call her? Weird nickname.

"Seeker of Truth": We have reason to believe she holds the power to save us all, it's almost a shame she is confined to you jailers. 

Site Director James: ... She could literally break out anytime she wants to, she only stays because all of her friends are here. Actually, the same can be said for a majority of the humanoid anomalies we have contained here. 

"Seeker of Truth": I though you jailers prided yourselves on being indestructible. 

Site Director James: Nothing's indestructible, just stronger...

"Seeker of Truth": Wait isn't the Witch of All only a child? Why did you-?

Site Director James: Fine! The higher ups don't like your organization, but we do understand we need your help most of the time. It's actually the same with the GOC, we hate those gun nuts, but we can't deny they are the best at destroying Sarkite hives and fortresses of the Scarlet King. Just like you guys they even have weapons and abilities we could only dream of having. As such we will consider and probably accept your terms of leaving SCP-AFC alone.

"Seeker of Truth": ... Truth be told, if it wasn't for the butchers we would have considered joining the ACPA years ago. Perhaps the Foundation would have been our closest allies, besides the Eight Wings of Mekhane that is.

Site Director James: That would have been nice, here's to hoping such a scenario isn't far off from now, I guess. 

Recording Ends

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[ahntravels]

Day два.

Day 2. Woke up and completely forgot I was in St. Petersburg for a moment. My bed at home is  a queen, and the bed at this hotel is for a tiny person (in fact, I think my bed at ND was larger...) Anyway, I rolled over as per usual, and completely rolled off the bed. 

I never would have thought, in my wildest dreams, I would one day wake up in Russia. Here’s to just pulling the trigger and making it happen. 

Today, as mentioned yesterday, is Hermitage day. I didn’t know what exactly to expect, except all blogs mentioned to a) buy your ticket in advance (online) and b) get there early. The museum opens at 10, and I had planned on getting there at 10, except halfway through the 20 minute walk I realized I forgot my wallet and visa so I had to go walk back to the hotel and then walk back again, basically adding another 30 minutes to my trip. I arrived around 10:30.

I will say, walking up to the Winter Palace (Hermitage) was surreal. It’s HUGE. 

Below is the arch you walk through which reveals the mammoth Palace

I’ve seen Buckingham Palace in London and Versailles in Paris. I will say that they are NOTHING compared to the Hermitage Museum in terms of shear size. It’s kind of crazy that those arches completely conceal the Palace until you start to walk through it. Then you see like...part of the Palace, but it’s not until you walk through the arch that there is this instantaneous reveal. Included in the reveal is the shock of just seeing the Palace in full + the huge size of it spanning your vision across the X-axis + all the blue sky and empty space that just silences you for a moment. 

SIDE NOTE: For whatever stupid, immature reason, every time I think of the “reveal”, I think of that scene from Mario 64 when you’re running towards a photo of the Princess and it turns out to be Bowser. No, I’m not drunk, don’t ask me why I think of these things at the most random times. And yes, I did spend 15 minutes searching for this photo collage. 

Anyway. I am sure the Winter Palace is GORGEOUS during winter. The acoustics of the space when it’s covered in snow must be like...next level. I’m sure St. Petersburg during the winter is amazing. 

If you want a history lesson on the Hermitage, the Hermitage website has a great timeline. Again, as with the other blogs, I’m not going to be going into detail about images of the place or the history of the pieces exhibited. So many other blogs have done it so much better and I’m not going to butcher that. I’ll just mention a few things that stuck out to me, and you can Google around and figure it out.

I will say that if you do visit, I can offer a couple of tips you may want to follow.

1) The map. The map is confusing but not. You’ll just find yourself getting annoyed because, when you know where you are going, the gaggle of tourists and tourist groups will spin you around and suddenly you forget which way is which. Because the museum is HUGE (I saw maybe 1/8th of the museum in 4-5 hours?) you have to prioritize what to see. Keep in mind that, as time elapses, the museum becomes more and more inundated with the dreaded tourist groups, basically making your chances of getting a clear photo of anything nill. 

2) Tourists (a.k.a. the “Boos”). See the map below. The Hermitage has 3 floors. Below is a floor plan of probably the most popular floor, thanks to Mr. da Vinci and many of the decorative palace rooms (amongst other exhibits):

The good thing is that the map kind of pulls out the most famous exhibits and shows you what room they are in. This makes your job of figuring out where you need to go to cross out those items from your bucket list easy. The bad part: The enemy (a.k.a. tourists groups a.k.a. “boos”) also know where these pieces are and are racing as well to find them. The good news: the boos are with tourist groups and have to wait until the tour guide guides them to the room with the exhibit. So, you have time to beat them to it and snag the photo if you are quick. 

Just like in Mario, as time progresses and you aren’t being proactive, more and more of these guys are going to flood the Museum and follow you and clog up the exhibits. So, how do you win? I suggest getting to the museum first thing, then IMMEDIATELY source those famous exhibits, get your photos, then start at the beginning. Most of the tourists are going to be spending a large portion of their time taking photos of the great hall, which leaves you time to sneak past. Case in point:

The line to da Vinci. It was actually way worse a bit earlier when I came around again. I managed to get there early enough and snagged a decent photo:

In general, just like Versailles, the rooms are huge and ornate and absolutely beautiful. I was standing by a window, looking out into the courtyard from what was probably a ballroom in the palace, and thought to myself who else, years ago, was gazing forlornly (or with happiness, or deep in thought) out this same window.

I think that is the most magical part about these palace museums: people LIVED here. People also died here, were executed, fell in love, gave birth, went mad. And when you see relics of those like ridiculous looking Russian uniforms or weird trinkets from decades past, you have to remember that, no, these weren’t fashioned after film props, but film props fashioned after the real living thing. And the real living thing from 100+ years ago is right in front of you. 

It’s pretty spectacular. 

Oh, so this was exciting: The were having a temporary exhibit, and it was REMBRANDT!! Mike! I’m sure you have seen most of these because they sourced the pieces from the Leiden collection...maybe you have seen some of these at the Frick?

Anyway, there was NO PHOTOGRAPHY so I couldn’t really snag photos of pieces specifically. 

I did find myself in a Jean-Baptiste while lost in the French wing:

I didn’t and couldn’t wander the halls for the full 4-5 hours straight. I took a couple of breaks, grabbing a coffee at the cafe for 15 minutes before trying again. I do suggest you break up your visit to the Hermitage into two days; it really is the only way to not feel like your brain is going to explode. 

Afterwards, I took a walk outside by the water behind the Palace. 

Gratuitous selfie. That’ll be two hundred rubles. 

At this point, I had about 2.5 hours to kill before I needed to make my way to the Mariinsky Theater for the performance. So, I did what anyone should do, and that is wander around and picked up a snack to munch on (sorry, no photo of munchies).

There were people painting on the lawn, and I meant to come back and scope out the progress, but became distracted so I didn’t. I did manage to view a live performance (there are performers EVERYWHERE) and I’ll have to post in a separate blog entry because I still can’t figure out how to take the video from my phone and stick it here. 

I stopped at a progressive burger joint (in terms of menu options) for my “snack” (I didn’t eat breakfast despite my large leftovers still sitting in the refrigerator) and ate one of these guys sans burger sauce:

It’s essentially a falafal burger with cucumbers and halved grape tomatoes inside. The bun was my least favorite part (larger in circumference than the patty, which drives me INSANE) so I ditched it angrily. The bun and the burger should be the same size, and the patty should be thicker than each half of the bun. If the top bun is thicker than the patty, the bun is trash. BESIDES THAT ISSUE, the patty was actually really flavorful, and the veggies were (surprise!) slightly pickled. I wasn’t a huge fan of the background of dill I tasted, but that’s fine. The lunch hit the spot and I felt alive again. 

I know, call me a hypocrite for yelling about wasting food and here I am ditching a perfectly good bun. Well, arguably it wasn’t perfectly good, but I did take a bite and decided I much preferred the insides. Whatever. To quote Trump, “Who cares, we won!”

ASHLEY SIDE NOTE: It’s actually been great being overseas, because I have been shielded from all the US politics. However, I did catch a headline today and I mistakenly checked out Trump’s interview and wow...glad I am over here.

Eventually, I made my way to the theater via Uber (there is no Lyft here, and taxis are a little...shady. And slow. And expensive). I will have to comment on Russian driving (or, driving in Russia):

1) It’s nuts. Nuttier than cabbies and NYC driving. Nuttier than driving in France. Probably not nuttier than driving in Vietnam or other places where you are competing with scooters and cars, but it’s still pretty nutty.

2) However, I noticed that they do one thing correctly and without anger that we don’t do in America, and that is merging. In Russia, they utilize the “zipper merge” technique quite patiently and diligently, which, after taking 3 Ubers and cursing under my breath at the “assholes” who merged at the last minute, I realized that this was common and drivers didn’t sweat it. 

“Those apparently rude drivers are putting more of the roadway to use and thus helping speed things along, in much the same way water flows faster through a funnel than through a straw.”

3) There is no bus lane or real lanes in general (I mean, there are lines painted in the road but people disregard them) and cars are just weaving in and out, trying to avoid buses, bikers, etc. And everyone drives stick, so it can get a little rough at times.

Anyway, I manged to get to the theater at the nick of time (traffic is TERRIBLE) and had decent balcony seating:

The Mariiinsky Theater isn’t huge, but the acoustics are really good. The ballet itself was really interesting. Interesting in the sense that this performance, in terms of skill, seemed to be this mix of gracefulness and like...cirque du soleil. I haven’t seen many ballets, but the ones I have seen did not showcase these magnificent bouts of exaggerated athleticism as performed by these dancers (i.e. 360 degree turns ad infinitum, Labron Jamesesque slam dunk vertical leaps, etc). Don’t get me wrong; these dancers are incredible and it was fun to watch them exhibit their unrelenting strength. However, I felt, where the narrative fell short, the shock and awe carried it through.

 I have to be honest and say that I’m not the type to sit through a long, dry opera or ballet, so Le Corsaire broke through any of that fear and was much appreciated. Given we are in the world of #metoo, the plot didn’t really adhere to the moral standard (the narrative is much about the selling of women as slaves, that people of the Middle Eastern ethnicity is less than smart, etc). Yeah, not the best message. However, despite the immature and possibly offensive plot, the artistry was really good...the backgrounds and costumes were beautiful, and the music was moving. I really liked the duo in Act II...I believe it’s the Adagio, but I will have to go back through the soundtrack to figure it out. 

Afterwards, I ate a really light and late dinner and came back to the hotel where I am writing this. It’s past midnight, and I am officially 63 years old!*

Tomorrow, I think i will visit the Faberge museum, then the Anna Akhamatova Museum, then a food market called  the Kuznechny Market where I will try to buy some caviar, THEN bday dinner, then I need to hit the hay because I have a 6AM train out of Russia and into Estonia. I am really feeling sad that my stay in Russia is ending, but excited to see two more countries. 

Until tomorrow!

*I told the waiter today was my birthday, and he said, “Congratulations”. What a curious response. I suppose living is a task, and becoming a year older is like a life promotion.