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it-was-summer · 16 days ago

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... And Fall In Love Whenever You Can.

A/N: This fic genuinely had me tearing up as I wrote it. Therefore, it shall hold a sweet place in my heart. As a kid, I used to say, "If something makes you feel, then it is good." I still believe that today. If it makes you happy, sad, flustered, ANYTHING! To feel something while reading is such a beautiful reaction to media. I often cry at movies, I cry when I read romance novels, I cry when I read poetry, and I laugh when I do, too. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you feel something, Em <3 (I also apologize for vanishing; I got sick, and it made me feel brain fog)

Link to the Ao3: ... And Fall In Love Whenever You Can Link to the: Yee olde masterlist Tags: Grief support group, mention of death(s), loss of romantic partners, struggling with mental health, tears, the rise and fall that is nonlinear healing, fear of forgetting a loved one, falling in love after tragedy, Spencer sounds like he had therapy, Maeve mentioned, guns mentioned, she/her pronouns for reader used at like one point, Reader's POV for the most part, Reader is in extreme denial and feels guilty, a secret other thing??, lightly proofread tehe!

Genre: Light Angst, Some? Hurt/Comfort, Fluff! Pairing: Season10! Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Plot: Meeting Spencer at a grief support meeting might be the best and the worst thing to ever happen to you- but it's all relative in the eyes of love.

Word Count: 9,791

You were pacing a dimly lit parking lot outside of the funeral home. It had been eleven months, two weeks, and three days since Alexander’s death. The grief meetings occurred every third Wednesday, and everyone was lovely enough. You just couldn’t find it in yourself to go inside this particular Wednesday. Because it was on this date, two years ago, Alexander had gotten on one knee at the aquarium and asked you to marry him. It was two years ago that you had said yes, not knowing that a little over a year from then, he’d be dead.

Your feet kept making strides to the double door entryway, only to slow to a stop when your hands reached the door’s push handle. Then, you’d shake your head and turn around to circle the parking lot once more. With your luck, the meeting would be over before you even got the courage to go inside.

A groan escapes your throat as you firmly put your hands on your hips, tilting your head to the Summer sky. “I’m sorry,” Your voice is raw, barely a whisper as you struggle to keep yourself from crying. You knew everyone said not to keep it in, to express your grief freely. It minimized stress. At least, that’s what the grief counselors say.

The worst part was no longer knowing who you were apologizing to— yourself or Alexander.

You were walking around one of the parking lot’s street lamps when you saw someone standing at the doors, frozen in place. It was like watching a mirror of yourself—rigid shoulders, twitching hands, shaking head.

You approach the man slowly, your image warped in the reflection of the glass doors. He turns to face you before you can speak, and he looks like you did eleven months ago. His eyes have dark circles around them, tinted with a red water-line and dull cheeks. That doesn’t stop you from gracing him with a gentle smile, “Are you going inside?”

His eyes meet yours for a second, looking away to glance back at the doors. “I’m not sure.” His voice is quiet, scared. He sounds like he is still on the fence. You nod, drawing your lips into a tiny line as you drop your hands to your sides. “Are you?” He asks, stepping out of the way for you.

You feel your mouth open to say you are going inside, but the words never come. Instead, you shake your head side-to-side timidly. “I’m not sure either,” You laugh out feebly. He nods, a dull smile gracing his delicate features for a millisecond before looking off with a forlorn expression.

“I was thinking about walking around the parking lot again… to try to gain the confidence to go inside. You’re,” you pause, wondering if it's a good idea to offer the man an invitation, “You’re welcome to join me if you’d like.”

The man looks at you again, his eyes widening for a second. You’re sure he’s about to decline, return to his car, and drive away, but he nods. You feel yourself smiling. It’s a little subdued, but it’s real. You mouth a silent ‘okay’ as you move your hands to your pant pockets, stepping away from the doors with this mourning stranger. You figured you didn’t have to talk if he didn’t want to, so everything was quiet as the two of you slowly walked around the large parking lot.

Eventually, your quiet stranger speaks, “Thank you,”

You shrug a little, sniffling, “It’s daunting, especially the first meeting.”

He frowns a little, watching your eyes flit over to him and then back to the night sky. “That obvious?”

“Only a little, but that’s not a bad thing.” Your voice is gentle as your feet slow to a stop, a light smile appearing on your face as you stare into the night. Spencer tilts his head to look at the stars, silently hoping that what makes you smile will make him smile, too. “Do you see her yet?” You ask, voice like honey.

He feels like crying as he says, “No,” He doesn’t even know who you’re looking at.

Your right hand is coming out of your coat pocket as you point to Cassiopeia slowly, tracing the stars with your index finger. “Cassiopeia, she’s a little low right now, but in a few months, she’ll get higher. You see her?”

And Spencer does. He feels his body relax, just for a moment. “I do.” He feels himself smiling a little at the sky, and the feeling feels almost foreign. His gaze falls back to you as you stuff your right-hand pack into your pocket, “I’m– I didn’t introduce myself earlier. I’m Spencer.”

“That’s alright; I didn’t introduce myself either,” you sigh before you tell him your name. He nods at your response and follows you once your feet start moving again.

“Have you—” He motions to the funeral home in the distance, “ever been inside?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m a funeral home grief support group regular.” You joke lightly, though the soft chuckle you let out sounds like a sad one.

He nods, nervously adjusting the beige cardigan on his chest. “Is everyone—I mean—” He draws his lips closed as he tries to gather his thoughts. “Do you like it?”

Your feet slow for a second as you think about it. Sure, everyone was friendly, and the support was more helpful than harmful. But did you like it? You give him a little nod when you answer, “Yeah, it’s been nice. Less,” You tilt your head slowly like you’re choosing your words carefully. “Less Lonely.”

Spencer lets out a relieved-sounding sigh as he mutters a gentle “Right.”

“I just,” You swallow carefully, “I’m having a hard time going in today. My fiancé proposed two years ago today. I just— I mean everyone inside knows, I just,” You trail off for a second, sniffling lightly as a cool breeze brushes against your watering eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”

Spencer didn’t know what to say to that. With Maeve, he had barely met her in person before she was murdered in front of him— the future pulled out from under him. Nowadays, he spends his time rereading books, remembering conversations on the phone, and mourning her silently in his apartment. Sometimes, he didn’t know which would be worse: losing her when he did or ten years down the line. Nonetheless, there is no Maeve to help him answer that question.

He struggles to find the words for a second before he nods, slow and unsure of himself, “It matters.”

You grin at how scared he sounds, the sound of a man holding on to the memory of a face that keeps fading away in his mind. “I know,” you can feel the ghost of the engagement ring on your left hand, a ring that now lies in a coffin.

As the two of you get close to the building once more, you ask, “Are you going to go in?”

Spencer swallows hard, the knot in his throat making it difficult for him to breathe. “Maybe next meeting,”

You nod, “Me too.” You stare at your car in the distance before you feel yourself standing in the parking lot with Spencer— unmoving. “I know it’s not a lot, and I know that I can’t help that much, but,” You pull your phone out of your pocket, opening the keypad cautiously before holding it out to him. “If you ever want to talk about it, or anything really, I’d be happy to talk with you.”

Normally, Spencer would decline such a kind gesture. He would thank you, drive home, and find solace in something familiar. His fingers twitch lightly as he reaches out for your phone, staring down at the keypad for a second before he puts in his number. He doesn’t know why he wants to talk with you. He thinks it’s because talking with a stranger about Maeve seemed less daunting than talking about it with his coworkers— his friends. You barely know him, and that makes your offer seem safe. No preconceived notions, pity, or gentle promises of being there for him, just a stranger talking to another stranger.

Two weeks go by like usual— no text from your stranger named Spencer, coffee for one at the café that was Alexander’s favorite, taking his mom to dinner on Thursdays, and so on. Sometimes, the days blur into a muddled painting filled with muted tones, and you try your hardest to remember when everything had a vibrant hue.

Most days are easy, easier than most, at least. It’s not that you forget about him. You remember him when you see a couple holding hands or golden retrievers going for walks, you think about him with everything you see, and it feels good to remember him. You’re happy to have known him so well, loved him so deeply. But all the love inside you has nowhere to go, so you go to his grave on Saturdays, hoping you can pour all the love in your heart onto a tombstone with his name on it. It never works, of course, but it helps.

You're running late this particular Saturday morning. You have two coffees in hand—one of which always goes untouched—and you’re stuck on the metro. That’s when you see him again, your stranger sitting in the fluorescents of the railcar.

Pushing through a small crowd, you approach him, slowly taking the empty seat next to him. Spencer doesn’t look up at first, his eyes glued to the book in his hands. That is until you’re leaning over to him to say a small “Hello,”

He jumps at the sound, head snapping to look at you with wide eyes. He doesn’t know why he’s so surprised you remember him, but he is. “Hello,”

Your eyes meet his, “Do you remember me? I-I’m sorry I shouldn’t have invaded–”

“No! I mean, yes, I remember you. You’re not invading my space. You’re fine.”

You let out a relieved sigh, looking away from him for a second to look down at the cups in your hands. His eyes follow your gaze, and he offers you a shy smile, “Are you meeting someone?” Small talk was never his strong suit.

You look at him, eyes lingering on his polite smile. “Oh,” you laugh like it's funny. “No, it's just me.” Spencer gives you a confused look, and you quickly answer his silent question. “I visit Alex’s grave. He loved black coffee. It was the most unsettling thing about him.”

Spencer doesn’t know how you’re smiling so wide as you say it. How could you talk about someone you lost and smile so wide talking about them? Would he smile like that one day? Would he even have things to smile about, or would what-ifs haunt him until the day he dies?

You find that you hate the silence that follows, the lack of sound creeping over your skin, making you itch to say something more. “I’ve always liked cemeteries too, so bonus, I guess.”

That gets you a sharp laugh, “You’ve always liked cemeteries?” Spencer’s eyes seem slightly brighter now, less red than two weeks ago, and they’re laser-focused on you.

You happily nod, “Always thought they were beautiful. It’s a creation of love, a way for your love for someone to live on.”

“Not sure everyone thinks about them that way,”

“Well, I guess they wouldn’t, and that’s alright with me.” You hum softly as the intercom announces in a static-filled voice that the railcar will be moving soon. “It’s quieter that way.”

Spencer glances towards the intercom for a second before turning back to you, “I suppose you’re right— about the quiet thing, not sure I agree with always liking them.” And he’s smiling at you, a real smile.

You feel yourself smiling back, wide as ever, “What’s your opinion on cemeteries then?”

“I’d like to say I don’t have an opinion on them, but if I had to form one, I would say they’re…” He trails off for a second, thinking about it more now. He laughs for a second, “Well, I suppose I find them rather serene.”

Your eyebrows raise for a second as you study him. How he seems to be relaxing in the conversation, and you can’t help but consider extending him an invitation to your weekly visit with Alexander. The longer you stare at him, the more you think the worst he can say is no, so you ask. “Would you like to join me?”

Spencer reels back slightly at the invitation; it feels intimate, yet he doesn’t want to say no. He wants to see what you see, to understand your mind, “I–” He looks away for a second, staring at the still-opened book in his lap. “If you’ll have me.”

Once you are on the street, you hum lightly while walking beside him. Spencer doesn’t seem to mind very much, his fingers fiddling with the edges of his book that now resides closed in his hand at his side. He’s nervous for some reason. He doesn’t understand why you invited him, nor why he said yes. He thinks maybe he should announce that he has other plans, turn on his heel, and book it in the other direction.

But when the two of you tread closer to the cemetery gates, you start talking again. “I hope you don’t find it strange that I invited you. It’s been a little under a year– well, a year next week– and I know it might seem weird, but I’d like to think he’s happy about me having a new friend.”

He knows it is a coping mechanism, and he knows Alexander cannot feel anything anymore. Spencer’s a man of science, but hearing you say that makes him feel at ease. His shoulders unwind slowly, “He sounded like a nice person,”

You let out a playful hum, “Sometimes. If he didn’t like you, he made it pretty obvious.” You pause for a second, glancing over at Spencer. “He was tall, kind of like you, and nerdy. But he was so funny; no one knew how funny he could be. They never listened hard enough, you know? I hated that people would talk over him in a crowd. To me, he was the only person worth listening to.”

Spencer finds him smiling at that, following you as you take a left. He sees that you're smiling, too, and when the two of you get to his grave, you’re still smiling. You let out a happy sigh as you talk, introducing Spencer as “Your new friend.”

For a while, you tell him stories—memories from when Alexander was still alive—and he finds he doesn’t mind listening to them. He sees them as a great distraction from his lack of happy stories with Maeve. You’re laughing a little as you tell him of the time that Alexander’s mother wouldn’t stop sending him a massive, bulk-sized trail mix every time she sent him a care package in college. He had so many bags that they lived under his bed for the better part of four years.

“Did he even like trail mix?”

“Honestly? Yes, but he only liked the chocolate and peanuts. It would just be massive bags with an abundance of raisins inside.” You shake your head a little as you stand next to Spencer.

Spencer lets out a slightly amused hum. His mind keeps going over how good you are with everything. You talk about Alexander openly. You don’t hold your feelings back. You smile so wide, even when you look at his headstone. He wants to know your secret— some secret to grief that he has yet to uncover.

His mouth opens briefly, closing quickly as he shifts his weight awkwardly beside you. He sucks in a nervous breath as he tries to muster up the courage to speak. “How do–” He sighs heavily, “I mean, I’m sure you struggle–” He licks his lips nervously, your eyes meeting his slowly. “When does it stop hurting?”

You’re silent for a second, your soft smile fading as you stare at him. He’s scared that maybe that’s the wrong question to ask as he watches you turn your head to look down at Alexander’s grave. He is about to apologize when you whisper, “It feels different now.”

Spencer’s mouth snaps shut as he waits for more, his eyes scanning your side profile slowly for some sort of sign that you’re uncomfortable. “Last year, it just felt like–” A pause, your free hand rising to your chest slowly. “It felt like someone had plunged a dull knife into my chest and left me for dead.”

Spencer’s chest tightened for a second, his own heart feeling painfully dull as he listened to you.

“But, I’m not the one who died. Alex did. I was so angry— disappointed that he had the nerve to leave me when we were about to start the next chapter of our lives together. I had–have– all this love inside my heart for him, and he’s gone. It took me a long time to understand that, to be okay with it.”

Your words catch in your throat, and you clear your throat quickly. The familiar burn of tears threatens to build in your eyes as you force yourself to look at Alexander’s grave. “He was so kind, and once I got past that feeling,” your voice sounded thick. “Life kept going, and so did I. He wouldn’t have wanted me to stop living my life. When you love someone, you only want them to be happy– with or without you.”

You sniffle lightly, relaxing your shoulders slightly, “It never stops hurting, I guess, but days get better. I’m happy that I got to be a part of his life. I find some comfort in that. Somewhere, in the story of him, I’m there.” Eventually, you find the courage to look over at Spencer. When your eyes meet his, you find that he’s staring at you with a compassionate expression. You can see the understanding in his eyes. You swallow hard, pushing the emotional lump down your throat.

“It does get better.” You whisper, your voice warm.

Spencer nods quickly, mouthing a little ‘I know’ before his eyes trail away from you for a second. A cool breeze passes between the two of you when he says, “Just needed the reminder,”

The next time you see him, it’s the third Wednesday of the month, and he sits right next to you. You find yourself smiling a little when he does, nudging his shoulder playfully as more people fill the space. He scoffs playfully, the silent gesture letting you know he’s happy you’re here.

The meeting passes like usual: New members share their stories, grief counselors hand out business cards with their phone numbers, recurring members offer kind sentiments, and then, just near the end, your seat partner stands up.

Your eyes widen for a second as you watch Spencer stand, his eyes laser-focused ahead as people turn to look at him. You watch how his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows. A shaky breath leaves him as he tries his hardest to start talking. His hands flex for a second, pressing against his pants to wipe off what you can only assume is sweat.

He stutters for a second, his confidence creeping away from him. You’re surprised when he turns his head to look at you. His breathing steadies as he watches you. “I’ve been having difficulties sleeping again. After,” His hands move a little as he speaks, his eyes periodically looking towards the rest of the group before trailing back over to you, “I just– I used to have a hard time sleeping, and lately, it’s been happening again. Every time I sleep, I see her, and I feel so–” He used to dream of her after her death, dreamt of touching her, but these were different. Dreams that constantly left him waking up feeling devastatingly alone.

He shakes his head a little, “It’s been seven months, and I keep dreaming of everything that could have been.”

The confession is met with comfortable silence and sympathetic looks, but not from you. You’re nodding, an encouraging smile spreading across your face. For some reason, he likes that better. “I don’t like leaving her when I wake up.” The admission feels like a weight lifting off his chest when he says it.

There’s a pause of silence before he sits down, unsure of what else to say besides his admission. As one of the counselors begins to talk to Spencer, he finds himself listening intensely. Seven months, and he’s finally willing to take some much-needed advice.

After that month’s meeting, Spencer has back-to-back cases. He’s keen on keeping in contact with you, which you’ve said he doesn’t have to do if he doesn’t want to, but he insists. He likes having someone to update, a friend waiting to see him when he’s free.

The next time he’s free, it’s a rare Saturday. He’s been awake since five and can’t seem to go back to sleep. He does keep dreaming of Maeve, but they’re a little different now. This time, he was in a cemetery with you. It was freezing, the kind of cold where you could see your breath, and you were laughing about something when the two of you bumped into her. Maeve’s not angry. She just laughs and glances at Spencer before hugging you. You hug her right back and say something– and that’s when he wakes up.

Spencer doesn’t like the feelings that stir inside him with that dream: confusion, curiosity, sadness, something else. The feeling is warm, tinged with an overcoat of sorrow, and he finds himself needing a good distraction.

However, reading isn’t helping, nor is the crossword. So eventually, he finds himself getting ready to go out for the day in the search of a good distraction that will get his mind off his dream.

He doesn’t know why he thinks about the cemetery where Alex’s grave is on his way to get coffee that day, but he does. A part of him feels that a nice walk will do him good, so, coffee in hand, he finds himself walking… then taking the subway… then ending up in front of Alex’s grave… alone.

Spencer’s lips slightly pout when he sees no coffee cup on the headstone. He knows that you have yet to visit your late fiancé today. He doesn’t exactly know why he’s visiting your late fiancé today; without you, it feels… strange.

The longer Spencer stares at the letters etched in stone, the more he feels a realization dawn on him. He feels guilty… guilty for dreaming of you, guilty for craving your warmth right now, and guilty for a million different little reasons.

Spencer feels his lips part for a second, a sigh escaping his lungs, before he whispers, “I’m a mess. " He knows he’s talking to thin air, but he feels lighter, admitting it to himself.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling. All I know is that I shouldn’t be, and it won’t do anyone any good, and secretly I think–” He sucks in a cold breath of air, “Secretly, I think I don’t deserve it.” The grave is silent, of course, but Spencer smiles anyway.

For a while, he thought his future had passed him by. A brief image graced his vision before leaving him blind. He can see now. He sees that he still has things to do, goals to accomplish, people to meet. Then he’s walking away.

Two meetings and four coffee ‘dates’ later, you’re rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet as you watch Spencer laugh over something with one of the grief counselors. It’s a strange feeling to see him laugh so openly. It's heartwarming if you’re being honest. It’s hard to explain it, and the feeling is too intense– too raw. It’s a feeling you dimly remember, and suddenly, you’re nauseous.

You have a crush, which is incredibly laughable because you’re an adult. The last time you had a crush on someone was three years ago, Alexander. This almost feels cruel. The longer you stare at him, the more real it becomes.

Spencer catches your eye for a second and excuses himself from the conversation in his polite Spencer way. When he reaches you, he smiles warmly: “Somebody’s all smiles.” You hum with a playful roll of your eyes.

Spencer pouts for a second, good-natured and playful, as he mutters a little, “When did smiling become a crime?”

“It isn’t. I’m just being observant, and you have a nice smile.” You try to keep your voice calm and level, but he seems to catch on anyway. Spencer’s eyes seem laser-focused on you, studying you carefully. Internally, you’re beginning to pray that his profiling skills fail to notice the classic signs: your sweaty palms, wandering gaze, and too-tense shoulders.

And if he does notice… you hope he doesn’t say anything. That’s not Spencer’s way, and you know it. “Everything okay?”

You nod quickly, “I’m good, sorry, I was just thinking about… bills.” You know he catches the lie the second you say it; you can see it in his amused smile.

“Bills?”

“Bills.”

“I’m not sure I like this story you’re going with, but if you’re sticking to it, I won’t pry.”

You nod, letting your shoulders relax as you sling your bag over your shoulder. “Thank you,”

“I was thinking,” Spencer starts as he grabs his messenger bag, following you out. “We could get dinner together Friday night.”

“Why?” Your tone is a little flatter than you’d like it to be as Spencer walks you to your car. You'll admit the idea of being alone with him is nice, but the admission feels strange— still too raw, surreal.

“Because…” He trails off slowly, hoping to find a better reason than it being because he wants to have dinner with you, but the longer he sits with the ideas, the more he feels like you’ll turn down his idea. He feels self-preservation take over, and for the first time (and what he hopes is the only time), he lies to you. “My teammates are having a get-together.”

“Oh!” You say as the two of you reach your car. “And you want me to meet them or?” The idea seems less daunting. Yes, Spencer and you had been to get coffee together, but that was just coffee. Dinner seemed too intimate, but dinner with friends? Now, that was less scary.

“Yeah! Yes, I think it’d be nice!’ Spencer’s voice cracks slightly before nervously clearing his throat in a weak attempt to control the anxiety that creeps into his tone. “Would you… like to meet them?”

You’re leaning against your car door, and the air smells sharp with the promise of snow, and Spencer’s sure you’ll decline. You grin, nodding slightly, “Sure, I mean, it’s just dinner with friends. What time Friday?” Your arms fold over your chest, pulling your coat closer to your body.

“Six.” He doesn’t know how his fake dinner has a time, but he’s surprised at how easy it is to come up with one. “Nothing fancy. I’ll, um, text you the address.”

You watch him for a second, trying to read him the way he reads you. His voice seems higher in pitch, and his eyes keep glancing at yours. You chalk it up to him being nervous. The combination of two groups already frying his nerves before it even happens. “Can’t wait. See you Friday.”

Spencer stuffs his freezing hands in his pockets as he watches you enter your car and drive off. Then, the panic sets in.

He’s tailing Derek desperately, “Listen, I know it’s rushed, but–”

“I don’t see why you can’t just text her the address and ask her out. Straightforward.” Derek says as he takes the left towards Penelope’s office. “Or you could say we canceled and make it just the two of you.”

“Considering I already lied to her once, I’d rather not lie twice. And–” He fumbles with his words for a short second. “It’s not a date. I just thought she thought it was one, and I panicked.”

“What’s wrong with it being a date?” Derek asks, knocking on the door gently before entering Penelope’s office.

“Date?” Penelope echoes back as she turns in her chair.

Spencer holds out a hand defensively, “It wouldn’t— it’s complicated! Please say yes. You’re the first person I’ve asked.”

“Asked what? Am I going to be asked?” Penelope chirps as Derek hands her a coffee.

“Pretty boy here,” Derek motioned to Spencer with a light wave, “Lied to one of his ladies. Invited her to a team dinner that doesn’t exist.”

“A team dinner would be fun! With a new addition, too!” Penelope said with a sip of her coffee. “When?”

“Friday,” Spencer mumbles, avoiding her gaze.

“Friday, as in, tomorrow Friday?” She sucks in a breath of air, “Spencer…”

He frowns and mouths a little, ‘I know’. He looks at them, pleading, “Please, even if it’s just the two of you…” He trails off slowly, watching Penelope and Derek share a look.

“I’ll text the rest of the group.”

“Not the whole story,” Spencer adds as Penelope pulls out her phone. “Please.”

“I’m already doing you one favor, boy genius.”

Spencer is surprised at how many of his team members agree to dinner. JJ, Penelope, and Derek all promise to bring their respective partners. Rossi and Hotch politely decline, but given his sudden plans, he doesn’t blame them.

However, by the time five-thirty rolls around, he can see that he’s been played. The first text comes from JJ, claiming that Henry is sick and that she can’t make it. Derek follows, saying that he accidentally double-booked and cannot cancel his reservation with Savannah. He can feel himself sending a silent prayer to Penelope before she, too, is texting him to cancel.

So now, he stands outside the restaurant in a long brown trench coat and purple scarf tied tight around his neck. When you arrive, adorned with a cream sweater and rosy cheeks, you ask him the inevitable: “Where’s the team?”

Spencer's throat tightens as he answers, “They’ve canceled, so it’ll be just us if that’s alright with you?”

He can see your smile falter momentarily before you nod, “That’s fine, another time.” You shiver a little, glancing towards the restaurant. “Should we…?” Spencer, silently elated that you aren’t leaving, nods and hurriedly rushes over to open the door for you.

Once seated, you are greeted by a slightly uncomfortable awkward silence. You’re sure that it will soon resolve itself, but Spencer seems too lost in his thoughts, and it becomes clear that if you want this long silence to end, you’ll have to speak first.

“I’m sorry every–”

“Do you–”

The two of you stare at each other briefly before laughing softly. Spencer’s eyes crinkle a little when he’s laughing, a feature you seem to be adoring silently before he says, “I’m sorry that everyone canceled.”

You push out a little breath, your gaze falling to the menu on the table. “That’s okay, I’m sure everyone has busy lives.” You shrug a bit before glancing up at him, “I do have a question for you, though,” You watch as Spencer’s back straightens, and he gives you a small smile as the ‘go ahead.’

You flatten out the front of your sweater nervously, “Do you think it’s weird that I was supposed to meet your friends— the team?”

Spencer gives you a slightly confused look before you quickly add, “I don’t think it is, but I was talking to my coworker about tonight, and she said it seemed like an excuse for a date. Then I explained it, and she called it weird, and I don’t know—Do you think it’s weird?”

Spencer can feel his cheeks heating up against his will, and his head shakes from side to side, “No! No, it’s not weird.” he pauses, thinking about it for a second. “Well, maybe a little. But not for you, for me. You’ve never expressed an intense interest in meeting them, but they mentioned bringing someone, and I thought—” He motions to you with a shaky hand, “Thought you’d be a good person to bring to dinner. You’re lovely, and my friend, and I—” he feels the rest of his words die in his throat. He wants to tell you that he wants the team to meet you. He wants everyone to see how wonderful and kind you are.

He feels his mouth dry, realizing he wants you to meet the team now. He wants a third party to witness your calming effect on him, and, most importantly, he wants them to like you because he likes you.

A slow ringing grows in his ears at the full realization of his feelings for you. Your smile, usually calming, has his heart leaping in his chest. He finds himself leaning closer when you say, “I didn’t think it was weird either,”

Spencer lets out a little huff of relief, “Good, that’s good.” His heart was beating fast in his chest. He knew he had feelings for you but was unaware of how deep they ran.

“Though I will say, it is strange that they all canceled.”

He feels awful lying to you. He can count two lies now and doesn’t want to tell a third. “Yeah, I can’t explain that one. They all did it at the last minute. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t mind, though I was scared this was all a set-up for a date.” You laugh as if it’s the silliest idea you’ve heard.

Spencer can feel his heart in his throat, his breathing quickening slightly. “Would it be bad if it was?” he can’t stop the words from spilling out, his eyes widening at his sentence.

Your surprised face stares back at his, breathless as you look at him. You’re about to say something when the waitress comes by to take your order. You manage a slight, polite smile as you order before you’re staring off at Spencer. His nervous eyes flicker between the waitress and you as he orders quickly.

When she’s gone, you stare at each other with bated breath. You draw in a slow, calming breath when you say, “I don’t know,”

“You don’t… know?”

“I just, I haven’t thought about—” You pause, knowing it’s a lie. “I have—” You correct gently before you let out a frustrated sigh. “I thought we were friends.” Your voice cracks slightly.

Spencer draws his head back at that, “We are friends. We are. I didn't know if you ever thought about—” He doesn’t know what he’s saying. What is he aiming for here?

“Anyone dating you would be lucky, Spencer.” You say, sweet and gentle. You don’t know how to save this situation. Your love for Alexander will always be in your heart, strong and genuine, but… looking at the man across from you.

You watch his fingers nervously trace patterns on the glass of water in front of him, how he’s looking at you with such a sweet expression. You just didn’t think this would happen to you. You were sure that Alex was it. He was all you would ever know— you had resigned yourself to it.

Would you be a bad person if you fell in love again? After everything, it feels… selfish, dirty, wrong, terrifying. “I’m not sure I’m your best option.” Is what you settle on.

Your heart silently breaks as you watch Spencer’s face fall. His nervous fingers slow their movements until he whispers a sad, “Right.” There’s a pause, like he’s deciding what to do next. He then nods, like he’s coming to terms with something.

“Right, I’m not saying I’m looking–” His brown eyes scan your face, “I’m not even sure I want something like that. I don’t know why it sounded like I was. I just want you to know that I—” He swallows thickly, “I like being your friend.”

“Me too! I like being your friend, too.”

“Good!”

“Great!”

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes, “So we’re on the same page?”

“Same chapter and everything.”

Spencer lets out a huff of a laugh at that, nodding slowly.

The rest of the dinner seems normal; the interaction from earlier seems to be brushed under the rug, and you’re grateful it is. However, the topic kept worming its way into your train of thought. The nagging thought of ‘What if…’.

It's not a terribly horrible idea to date Spencer. If you were honest with yourself, you had thought about it before—not obsessively, just in passing. A little whisper of an idea, lovely and new. It was nice to fantasize about love, but it was just a fantasy. You had a great love, and you were grateful.

Wanting more than that was greedy.

After dinner, Spencer insisted on walking you home. He wouldn’t listen to a single one of your protests and simply convinced you with a firm, “I’ve seen what happens to people when they go off alone late at night,”

The reminder made you readily accept his company on the cold December night. Walking by his side, watching how your feet started to sync in step, your mind began to wander. What did a date even feel like? It had been so long since you’ve had a date… you weren’t even sure you would know if you were on one unless it was explicitly said.

The thought makes you chuckle, earning the interest of one Doctor Spencer Reid. “What’s on your giggling mind?”

“Nothing,” You sigh, glancing over at him. “I was just thinking about how long it's been since I’ve been on a date. I don’t even think I would know if I was on a date if I was on one. Someone would have to sit me down and explain it to me,”

Spencer’s lips quirk upwards at the idea, listening to you. The sweet look he’s giving you is not lost on you as you continue to ramble, “I mean, I’m not even sure I remember the last time I tried to look for a date.”

“Care to take a guess?”

“Uhm,” You draw out the sound as you think, your tongue wetting your lips. “Six months ago, maybe, kind of, sort of?”

Spencer’s clever mind quickly realizes that this failed dating experience happened a month before he met you, and then he notes that it also happened ten months after Alexander’s death. “And.. What do you mean by that? How does someone, kind of, sort of, maybe look for a date?”

You roll your eyes, “It wasn’t really my idea. My friends convinced me to go on some dating apps, and I tried!” You laugh lightly, “Well. I pretended to try. I just didn’t like it. It wasn’t what I expected.”

“What were you expecting?”

Your feet falter momentarily before finding their pace next to Spencer again, “Something from a Nora Ephron movie, maybe? Something like You’ve got Mail.” As you say it, you see the strange look on Spencer’s face, and it makes you grin. “It’s a romantic comedy.”

He mouths a soft ‘oh’ and feels awkward because he still doesn’t know what you mean. You’re quick to explain, “It just means I had high expectations. Alexander and I were friends for a while before we,” You trail off before you wave the sentence off with your hand. “I just didn’t like it. Felt too forced.”

Spencer understands that part, slowly taking a left with you. “Haven’t tried that yet.”

“I wouldn’t recommend it.”

He grins and nods, “What do you recommend?” His curious mind was getting the better of him. His left hand slipped out of his coat as he waited for your answer, his knuckles dangerously close to yours.

“In a world seemingly becoming increasingly dependent on technology for everything? I’d recommend shooting your shot with every pretty stranger you see.” It's a joke, but the idea of Spencer asking for the numbers of every pretty person in DC made your chest feel strangely tight— a light reminder that your crush was still going strong. And you’ve already turned him down.

“I’m not sure you’ve been paying close attention to me these past four months,” He jokes lightly.

“Oh, trust me, I have been.” The words tumble out before you can stop yourself, and you can feel your cheeks growing impossibly hot.

Spencer’s quick to tease, “You have been?”

You nod, trying to act like it's nothing but friendly, but your nervous breathing might give you away. You take a steady breath, happy to think that if he sees red on your cheeks, you can blame it on the cold weather.

Instead, he slows to a stop just steps away from your apartment complex. You stop, turning to look at him, and when you see him, all composure leaves you with one little glance. Spencer’s ears are red, his hazel eyes glued to yours, and his hands nervously fidget with his long purple scarf.

He draws in his lower lip nervously, his brow furrowing in the way that lets you know he’s meditating on something in that beautiful brain of his. His hands move as he begins to talk, “I have been too,”

With that, you feel all the air knocked out of you, and your trembling fingers hide in your pockets. You’re not sure what he wants you to say or do. It feels like a confession, making your heart pound in your chest. His sweet eyes study you, “I’m not sure what I—” He steps closer.

“Not sure what I want. All I know is that I feel something—” He makes a weird motion with his hands like he’s trying to shape his feelings with his hands. “Hopeful? I don’t know! I just,”

“I know.” You rasp out, nodding quickly. “I know.” You repeat it because you do know. You know what he’s feeling, that dangerous feeling of tentative hope, the sense that something is beginning again. The world shifting into focus and becoming colorful again.

Spencer’s gaze softens as that, and then the two of you just stare at each other for a moment. Guilt seemed to creep into your chest, invading your heart the longer you stared into those pleading brown eyes. Some part of you wanted to give it a shot, take him in your arms, and just let go. The stubborn part of you couldn’t let go of what you once knew.

What would you say to your friends— or worse, Alexander’s family? Thinking about being happy with someone else again felt like a betrayal.

Spencer could see the shift in your demeanor, the way your eyes glossed over with emotion, your back rigid, and he knew you weren’t ready. The feelings you were feeling were ones he wrestled with weeks ago after visiting Alexander’s grave. “I visited his grave without you a few times.”

Your brows knit together at that, stuttering gently as you manage a soft “Why?”

“I felt guilty about how I feel about you. I thought visiting his grave would make me back down, but it didn’t. I visited Maeve’s grave and thought about my feelings there too. She would have liked you.”

“Spencer, don’t–”

“You told me once that he would’ve wanted you to be happy with or without him. Why can’t you let yourself be happy? I know it’s uncharted territory; it is for me, too, and he knows you don’t love him any less–”

“You didn’t even know him!”

Spencer's lips draw into a tight line at that. You can’t stop yourself before saying, “You don’t understand the love I had for him. It was different from how you felt about Maeve. It was special.”

Your breathing is heavy, and you're trying to stop yourself from crying. The second you say it, you regret it. Your rigid posture slacks, and you step towards him quickly, but he steps back once you get closer.

“You don’t get to say that,” his voice is colder, his eyes cast down to his hands. Then he takes a sharp breath and looks up at you; his warm hazel gaze turns cold. “My love for her was just as special as yours was for Alexander. I can see that, even if you can’t. But at least I can see when something exceptional is right in front of me. Unlike you, I didn’t want it to slip through my fingers again.”

Your mouth feels dry as you try to respond, anger and guilt fighting an internal war inside you before Spencer turns on his heel and says, “Goodnight,”

The snow starts again as you watch him walk away, blinking flakes out of your lashes, cheeks red from the tears falling as you watch him disappear around the corner.

The conversation is still fresh in your mind at dinner with Alexander’s mom Tuesday night. She lives just outside the city in Maryland, so whenever she made her way into the city, you made it a point to meet up.

She watches the way you’re staring at your sandwich. The intense look you’re giving the meal almost makes her laugh. “Don’t be upset with the club. We can always get you another sandwich, dear.”

You raise your head slightly at that and let out a nervous laugh, “No, the sandwich is fine. I’m just thinking. I’m sorry, Shannon.”

Shannon lets out an understanding hum, waving you off with a simple flick of her wrist as you apologize. “Is it work?”

You give her an easy smile, “Ah, no. It’s… confusing and probably boring; don’t worry about it.” She gives you a little look that says, ‘Come on, really?’ and it makes your smile widen.

“When you retire, everything is confusing and boring, so lay it on me.”

“Shannon, please, I promise you don—”

“I will make you pay for this meal; do not force my hand.”

“I am paying?”

“Exactly. Now tell me what’s on your mind.”

You slump in your seat and nod in defeat. “Alright, well,” you wet your lips nervously, trying to figure out the best way to tell her. “You remember last time I mentioned that I had that friend from the group? The genius—Spencer.”

Shannon nods, motioning for you to keep going slowly, “Well, lately, he and I have become aware of some feelings for each other, and I–” You can feel your legs trembling, “He just doesn’t get it. I can’t do that to Alex or you. He just doesn’t understand—”

“Sweetheart, slow down.” She held up a hand, an amused look on her face as you rambled at the speed of light. “Start over.”

You let out a little huff, trying to calm your growing nerves. You roll your shoulders back, gaining some composure, “I have feelings for him, and I thought it was just a passing crush, but now it’s getting so messy. And he told me that he has feelings for me too, but I told him off, and we haven’t talked in four days– which would be fine if we didn’t fight, but we did— and I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“He’s really sweet and great, but I just… I keep thinking about my love for Alex and don’t want to let go of him.” Your voice gets quiet with the admission. “I’m happy loving just him, only him.” Your voice shakes lightly, forcing your gaze down, your eyes filling with tears.

You hated telling her this— hated telling her that your stupid heart found itself attached to someone other than her son. You mentally prepare yourself for something, anything, yet you still cringe when you feel her hand rest on yours.

“He’s dead–”

“I know–”

“No, listen,” Shannon says sternly, watching as you lift your gaze to meet hers. “He’s dead. Every day, I have to remind myself he’s dead. I know you do, too.” She frowns for a second before she gives you a weak smile. “But, you? You’re alive. You’ve experienced a loss no one should have to experience at your age, and yet here you are. Would he be ecstatic over you falling in love with someone else? Not quite, but I know my son. He wouldn’t want you to be alone. Or worse, unhappy.”

You blink away tears, your bottom lip trembling, “I don’t want to forget him,”

“Who said you’re going to?” Shannon jokes lightly, giving your hand a light squeeze. After a moment, she whispers, “Knowing Alex, he probably sent Spencer your way.”

You laugh at the idea, but the sound dissolves into a little sob, “He would.”

Shannon brightens momentarily, “He was always jealous of how good you were at trivia night. Maybe he wanted someone to beat you for once?”

“Spencer can!” You laugh harder than you should, but you can’t help it. You picture Alex’s face, joking about how you have too much useless knowledge in your brain.

As your laughter dies away, a wave of anxiety rolls over you. “I was awful to him last Friday.”

“Then make it up to him,”

After much deliberation, you knew you would, or at least, you would die trying. The next meeting was in two weeks, which seemed too far out. After three texts, two calls, and one voicemail, you decided to go to him.

You had been to Spencer’s apartment once before and were sure it was on this block… maybe. It was early Saturday morning, and you could only hope he would look out his window and see you pacing the sidewalk.

But an hour passed, and the cold wind forced you into a coffee shop down the block. Shivering as you waited for your coffee, you glanced at the unread texts you sent him one last time before stuffing your phone back into your pocket.

Clearly, he didn’t want to see you, much less talk to you. You chewed on your bottom lip, lost in thought until you resolved that seeing him at the next meeting would have to do if he didn’t text you back before then.

And so, two weeks and no texts back later, you sat in your usual foldable seat and waited. But he never showed. Your eyes watched the doors patiently, and you counted every last participant, thinking that the next one had to be Spencer.

But they weren’t. He was nowhere to be found. You had sat on your feelings for him for weeks, sat on with nasty comments and behavior for two weeks, and found yourself still waiting. He didn’t have to attend every meeting, but you felt even more desperate than before. Hating the feeling, you left halfway through.

It wasn’t like you could force him to talk to or forgive you. But it hurt knowing just how much you had hurt him. Were you being selfish for wanting a chance to confess to him again? Was it selfish how you looked for him in every crowd?

The unfortunate reality of your pain was that you were so scared of falling in love again that you pushed love away before it could even touch you. You found yourself driving to Alex’s grave that night. It was out of your way, but you didn’t want to go home just to wait by the phone again.

After parking in a nearby parking lot, you found yourself standing in the middle of a very dark, isolated cemetery. If Spencer were here, he would say how dangerous this was, maybe even throw in a statistic just to solidify his point.

You smile, eyes adjusting in the moonlight as you look down at your dead lover’s grave. You crouch, touching a bouquet of almost-dead flowers at the foot of his grave. “Was I bad at this with you, too?” Your fingers trace the brittle petals of a dying rose.

You can hear the crunching of gravel and slush approaching you, and a part of you freezes. As the sound gets closer, you can hear panting, your head turning cautiously to look for your rapidly approaching company.

When you see the silhouette of a man not too far down the trail, you tense. How stupid were you to be in a secluded area in the middle of the night? You curse under your breath and stay crouched, hoping it’s just a late-night jogger passing through and that he won’t see you if you stay low.

Your eyes stay on the figure, and you mentally go over possible escape plans when you see it— a messenger bag. What kind of serial killer or jogger wears a messenger bag? Your tense shoulders briefly relax for a second at the thought.

Then, a hint of moonlight illuminates your huffing stranger— messy brown hair and a crooked tie. You stand, “Spencer?” You say his name when he approaches you, the moonlight letting you get a glimpse of his soft eyes for a moment. “What are you… How’d you know I’d be here? What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t at the meeting,” He huffs, leaning over to rest his palms on his knees.

“I–” You scoff, slightly amused. “I left early. Did you show up?”

“No,” he admits, his tone becoming sharper as he catches his breath. “No, I–” he hesitates for a moment, “I saw your car on my way home, and I got worried, and I–” He roughly drags a hand through his curls, “You shouldn’t be in isolated places like this late at night.”

Your shocked expression melts, and your lips quirk into a slight smile. Spencer sees this and responds sharply, “I’m being serious!”

You hold up both hands, “I know, I—” You sigh, a slight chuckle following the sound before you say, “I knew you were going to say that. I could hear your voice when I parked across the street.”

“Maybe you should listen to it sometime,”

You nod, and then a moment of cold silence follows. The two of you stare at each other for a long moment before you feel your lips moving against your will, “You never called,”

Spencer can feel his heartbeat quicken, “Wasn’t aware I had to.”

“You didn’t have to. I just would have–” You cut yourself off, nervously licking your lips. “I wanted you to.”

Spencer stays quiet before he replies with a soft “I’m sorry,”

You find your smile returning as you shake your head, “That’s my line,”

He lets a little chuckle at that, ready to tell you it’s okay, when you quickly add, “I’m sorry for how I acted three weeks ago. I shouldn’t have been so cruel or close-minded, and I should have been honest with you about my feelings. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry for implying your love for Maeve wasn’t special. Oh, Spencer,” You let out a heartbroken sigh, “I feel terrible. I was such a bad friend, and these past few weeks, all I’ve wanted to do is make it up to you.”

You can feel the tears threatening to fill your vision, your cheeks burning in the cold as you let out a meek, “Tell me there’s something I can do to make it up to you,”

Spencer can see your pleading eyes in the moonlight, and his chest tightens at the sight. Ignoring your calls and texts wasn’t easy, but he was convinced that it was the right thing to do. You weren’t ready to move on, and neither was he— not completely, but he didn’t want to try with anyone else. He only wanted to try with you.

He swallows thickly when he says a sweet “You’ve already done it,” Then you’re beaming at him, and he’s right back where he was three weeks ago. As you dry your misting eyes, he softly confesses, “I watched You’ve Got Mail.” He pauses, smiling lightly when you give him a surprised look through your tears. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I–” He nervously moved his hands as he talked, “I watched any Romcom that I could get my hands on because I—”

You smile as he trails off, his hands twisting together in that nervous way that tells you he’s scared to say the rest of his sentence— he’s too afraid to say he missed you. “Me too,” You confess, “I missed you, too.”

He nods, a grin on his face as he looks at you. He can feel his confession rising in his throat, his lips moving awkwardly as he tries to gain the confidence to confess to you again.

But, before he can say anything, you’re speaking, “I don’t know if you still feel the same as you did three weeks ago, but I–” You swallow hard, clearing your throat softly. Your hands move with you as you speak, the cold making them feel slightly stiff. “For the longest time, I couldn’t imagine myself happy with anyone other than Alex.” You blow out a sigh, glancing back at his tombstone. “I thought one great love was enough— I only deserved one. I was happy with that, and I felt lucky for it.”

You can feel yourself trembling, and you don’t know if it’s the cold or your nerves getting the better of you; nonetheless, you keep going, “But lately, I’ve been thinking— hoping really— that you’re the expectation.” You squeeze your eyes tight at that last bit, trying to calm your breathing as you wait for his response.

“If anyone deserves more than one great love, it’s you.” Spencer’s voice sounds closer, soft.

When you open your eyes, you realize he is closer, inches from you. You gaze up at him, giving him a light smile when he whispers, “We can take it slower,”

“I like slower.”

He laughs and nods, “Me too,” he holds out a cold hand for you to take, “Let me walk you to your car?”

You stare at his palm, watching your cold fingers intertwine with his. The sensation makes the tips of your fingers buzz with anticipation. You feel his hand gives yours a slight squeeze before guiding you to the parking lot across the street.

It’s not the last time you walk side-by-side, holding hands in the middle of the cold East Coast winter, and he’s determined to make sure it’s not your last.

And whenever anyone asks how the two of you met, Spencer lets you tell the story, his hand slipping into yours as you say, “Well, it’s a bit of a long story.”

#fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #dr spencer reid #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #spencer x you #spencer reid fanfiction #doctor spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid criminal minds #dr reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid hurt/comfort #...and fall in love whenever you can #it-was-summer

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sexilene · 7 months ago

Note

MORE 80s SLASHER JOHN B!! PLEASE I BEG

YESSS OFC!!! (sorry about any misspellings, ignore em lol!)

₊ ⊹ warnings! 18+ - pinv, slight gaslighting, violence, death, spanking, drowning, dark!john b but also kinda sweet john b in a concerning way lol- ₊˚⊹

john b watched you from afar, sitting on a picnic table in the shade making yarn bracelets with some of the kids in his group, his eyes never leaving your figure for more than a few seconds. you were chatting away with one of the other counselors and a few of the little girls in your group. the little girls were teasing you and the guy, richie, by asking if you were boyfriend and girlfriend and to "kissss" each other.

"no way am i kissin' him! i happen to think that boys are pretty gross don't you think?" you smile playfully, placing your hands on your hips.

"awwe come on! i'm not gross am i?" richie pretends to be offended and places his hand over his heart, making the little girls giggle.

"mm hmm, you sure are!"

you squeal when richie suddenly lifts you over his shoulder and walks towards the shore of lake like he's going to throw you in. john b decides that's enough and jogs over before richie can throw you in.

"hey man, put her down…wouldn't want any accidents right? the nearest emergency room isn't for a few miles, and the camp hasn't got the best first aid." john b warns, squinting his eyes and tilting his head, almost like he's implying something else.

"we were just kiddin' around johnny!" richie laughs as he sets you down, your feet touching the sand again. john b clenches his jaw at the nickname and nods like he understands.

"s'alright johnbee, got him just in time!" you smile, trying to relieve the tension between the clearly upset brunette and the cocky red head.

"alright girls! how about we go see if we can use the finger paints now?" you ask the group of little girls who nod and agree, two of the girls taking your hands and leading you back up the hill, leaving john b and richie there.

the next morning, the older kid group and their counselor decide to use the canoes for a morning activity. as they make it out onto the lake one of the kid's ores smacks against something causing all the kids to look at the water. the boy in the front then points to the object, yelling out a loud "HOLY SHIT!". there, floating face up, is richie's blue, dead body, with some froth present around his nostrils and mouth.

you stand outside with the other counselors in pajamas after keeping all the kids away from the area and doing activities elsewhere. the paramedics take richie away in a body bag and your heart sinks, john b stands behind you, the warmth of his body and just the smell of him somehow calming you down a bit.

"what do you think could have happened to him?" you look up at john b with wide teary puppy eyes, worried he might have something to do with it since the…incident.

"i dunno sweetheart, he must have gone out for a late night swim, probably accidentally drowned…" he wraps his arm around your front and you bring your hand up to place over his.

"let's hope we can get through the summer without the parents pulling their kids out," he whispers.

"johnbee?"

"hmm?"

"you didn't- you know…" he just sighs and attempts to pull you back into his embrace, but you won't get any closer until he answers your question. when he only looks at you and doesn't say a word you start to walk away from him, and back to your cabin, confused and frustrated. but of course that doesn't go well with him, he won't tolerate you walking away from him like that, so he follows you and enters your cabin room behind you and shuts the door.

"lisetn to me, hey hey, look at me. i know you might still be a little scared of me but you don't need to be. okay?" he starts off gently, trying to level with you as calmly as he can be.

"ohkay…" you sigh and turn to look at him, you really don't want to have this conversation with him right now after being overwhelmed with so many things happening at once.

"i'd never do anything to hurt you, m'just trying to keep you safe that's all."

"i know…" you whisper

"good. that's why i do the things i do…i have a responsibility to watch out for these kids and when i think someone is dangerous then-"

"i don't want to hear you say it…" you interrupt him and shake your head with tears springing at your waterline. john b knows how you get when you feel conflicted or rather overwhelmed, he's seen it before when you get stressed while dealing with the kids.

"okay, alright…hey c'mere," he pulls you into a hug, his bulky body effectively enveloping you as you press your cheek to his chest.

"you really scared me that night-"

"didn't mean to bub, i promise not to do that again." he sighs, shaking his head though you can't see him.

"i really liked you."

"liked?"

"i- still do, s'just that-" you ramble.

"hey hey stop, breaaathe…breathe for me. let's do something okay? something to calm you down a little, y'gonna let me do that for you?" he soothes, bending down to meet your teary eyes. the minute you make eye contact with him you nod.

"words." he chides, needing to hear you confirm that you wanted it.

"yes, yes john b.." you whisper shyly.

"'m gonna take these off, aaand these pretty panties," he whispers gently, taking you through what he is currently doing. sliding down your little pink sleep shorts and white cotton panties, the fabrics pooling around your feet. john b then takes off his loose-fitted cropped sleep shirt and tosses it to the side, nodding his head over to your bed. he takes your hand and guides you over, taking a seat and lifting you up onto his meaty thigh.

"just gonna sit you on it and its gonna relax you alright?"

"its not gonna fit,"

"fit last time." he laughs through his nose and pulls himself out of his plaid pajama pants, you looked down at his dick, much bigger than you remembered and your cunt already began to clench around nothing. picking you up like nothing, you wrap your arms around his neck, john b impales your drippy wet cunt on his huge cock. the stretch making your eyes roll back momentarily and muffle you your cries on the skin between his shoulder and neck

"shshsh, its in, its in…" he coos, rubbing your back. "just turn your brain off bubba."

as soon as he can feel that you've relaxed and adjusted to his size he starts to move your hips back in forth with a gentle grip of his huge hands.

"i did kill riche, i had to do it to protect you baby…it's my job." you mewl at his confession and clench around his dick, earning a low groan out of him. he knew you wouldn't really register what he was telling you but at least he wouldn't feel guilty since he did just tell you the truth.

"jus' don't want you to hurt me," you whine.

"never, never…love you so much," he assures you, now using his strength to bounce you up and down slightly.

"don't gotta think about anything bub, just let me do all the work." he looks down and the bulge that presses against your lower stomach, making him hiss and squeeze the meat of your ass roughly.

"reall-really like you jombee…" you cry, tangling your fingers into the back of his hair, trying to keep yourself grounded as he bounces you on his fat cock.

"need to hear you say you love me, baby." he grunts, smacking your ass cheek harshly.

"love you, love you somuch, i really wanna cum please!" you squeal as he continues to use your sloppy wet pussy.

"i know bub, whenever you want, m'right there." john b stops bouncing you and lets you sink back down on him fully, then presses his thumb down hard on your clit. you mewl out pathetically as you cum and pulse all over him until he fills you up from just feeling you cum on him.

"fuck, so pretty, my pretty puppy." he smiles and presses a wet kiss to your cheek and wipes away the tears that happen to fall down your face.

"y'feel better now? hmm?"

"mm hmm…" still seated on him, leaking cum around the base of his dick, you hazily drop your cheek on his shoulder.

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seouljazzbar · 7 months ago

Text

BUNK 19

SONG EUNSEOK (송은석)

☆ BUNK 19

ABOUT 𓂃 ࣪˖ what happens in bunk 19 does in fact stay in bunk 19. and the boathouse. and the dining hall. and the tennis courts. and the counselor jacuzzi.

WARNING 𓂃 ࣪˖ language, fake camp name, aespa + nct appearances, a smidge of angst, penetrative sex (f. receiving, both vaginal and anal), lots of spitting, a challengers reference if you squint, object insertion (do not try this at home), unprotected sex, daddy kink, random fluff, two seconds of physical violence

PAIRING 𓂃 ࣪˖ camp counselor!eunseok x camp counselor!reader (camp counselor au, summer fling to...?)

WORD COUNT 𓂃 ࣪˖ 8k of wickedness

THIS FIC FEELS LIKE 𓂃 ࣪˖ buzzin by shwayze

“Who else is here?”

It was the first question out of Eunseok’s mouth when he got settled into his cabin for the summer: bunk nineteen. That was the very first bunk he stayed in when he became a counselor freshman year of university. Now a recent graduate, this was going to be his last summer at Camp Watauga before entering the workforce. He intended to soak up every minute of it with no regrets.

“The staff are filtering in slowly, but not too many counselors just yet. You, Mark, and ___.”

His ears perked up at the mention of your name, but he kept a cool exterior. “Oh, really? Not too many indeed.” His hands made home in his pockets as Director Irwin led him to the main hall. There was nothing but the echo of footsteps and birds chirping just outside as they walked to the break room, and that’s when he heard it. Your voice.

Mark was laughing at something you said, something Eunseok missed entirely. “Hi, ___. Mark.”

You spun on your heels without thinking twice, eyebrows shooting up at the sight of all five eight and eleven inches of him. He looked different— hair lighter, jaw sharper, shoulders wider. But you didn’t let yourself focus on him for more than the appropriate amount of time to stare at your coworker: one and a half seconds, exactly. “Eunseok, hey!” Your tone was light, casual. Easy breezy.

“Alright, well now that you’re all checked in, you’re free to roam! Kitchen’s doing meals same time as regular camp hours, if you get hungry. Just, please, no illegal substances where I can see ‘em. I wanna be able to keep plausible deniability.”

Director Irwin left without a glance back at the three of you, all of you erupting into a fit of giggles the second you heard the door shut. “Dude, he’s so funny without even trying to be.” Mark nudged at your shoulder, looking at Eunseok with a goofy grin on his face. “Right?”

“Yeah, I always forget just how weird he gets,” Eunseok returned the smile, looking over to see if you were smiling too. That gorgeous, sparkling smile. “What are you two gonna get into for the rest of the day? At least until dinner.”

Mark stretched his hands in the air, his shirt riding up just enough to expose his taut abs. Eunseok noticed your eyes on Mark’s skin, your teeth sinking into your lower lip. “I was thinking about going into town, getting a couple cases of beer or something for the kickback tomorrow night. Minjeong, Jimin, and Haechan get in tomorrow and we’re gonna have a pre-camp rager. You guys down?”

“Ooh, I’m always down for a party with Jimin. She knows how to let loose.” You winked at Mark, blush instantly striking his cheeks.

“Alright, cool, I’ll make sure to get enough then,” His head turned over to Eunseok, “What about you, bro?”

A party was not his plan for tomorrow night, but he figured it’d be easier to play along for now. “Yeah, sounds fun,” He pulled his sunglasses down over the bridge of his nose, “I like Modelo.”

Mark laughed, heartily. He was so easily amused. “Alright, I’ll catch y’all at dinner?” He was out the door after two quick side-hugs, shaking his keys all the way to his car. The engine was loud as it started up, and you could hear the car shifting its way up the gravel driveway. The hall was quiet otherwise, just the smacking of Eunseok’s chewing gum, the minty peppermint wafting far enough for you to smell it on his breath.

You moved first, pushing him by the shoulder as he kept his arms crossed against his chest. “Oh, c’mon. You can’t really think I want Mark.”

“Coulda fooled me.”

“I mean, he’s cool and all. And really hot, but… you’re sluttier.”

Eunseok rolls his eyes, closing the gap between the two of you, caging you against one of the break benches. “Hm, that’s it? You only want me because you think I’m a sure thing? Well I never!”

You giggle, glancing around the break room before swooping in for a kiss. Sweet, soft lips that you had been dreaming about for nine long months. His sunglasses smushed against your face but you ignored the slight discomfort as his hands found your ass. A handful for each of his palms, fingers kneading into each cheek with appreciation. You could feel your nipples hardening against his chest, the paper thin material of your bra heightening the sensation of his firm pecs. Eunseok was making you all warm and fuzzy again. “I missed you.”

“Yeah? You sure? Sure you didn’t miss Mark Lee more?”

“You’re so annoying! Wasting valuable time talking about a nonissue.”

His hands spread your cheeks apart just barely, just enough for you to take notice. “Valuable time? What else do you reckon we could be doing right now?”

Your mouth fell open as he kissed along your jawline. “W-Well I was thinking…”

“Mhm?”

He took a detour down your neck, floating right to your sweet spot just beneath your earlobe. “The counselor cabins are really close by, i-if you’re free.” Keeping your eyes open was a chore as he nipped at the skin of your neck erotically. “Eunseok, seriously. We’re gonna get caught.”

“What, that doesn’t turn you on anymore?” His palm revved back to strike your ass, squeezing afterwards to soothe the skin. “You know I’m always free for you, ___.”

Eunseok could smell your arousal through the thin material of your panties and shorts, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as all the blood in his body rushed to the front of his pants. Any notion of taking it slow with you went out the window as he grabbed your wrist, pulling you in the direction of BUNK NINETEEN. Since Mark had already started his journey into town and Director Irwin never left the movie room during his downtime, Eunseok didn’t feel the need to be sneaky while getting you into his cabin.

Sure, there were unspoken rules about how awkward it would be to have counselors wreaking sexual havoc for three months straight, but nothing in the handbook. The secrecy derived from how private both you and Eunseok were with your personal lives. It was nobody’s business who you were fucking, and if you two ever decided to stop, you didn’t want relative strangers feeling emboldened to ask questions. Plus, the sneaking around made everything that much hotter.

The cabins had been updated in recent years, and with that came much needed aesthetic and technological improvements. A few touches made the bunks a little less shabby chic and a bit more glamping. It was still ‘granola’, so to speak, but the doors locked automatically behind you. The interior was softer around the edges, no chances of splinters or wolf spiders keeping you up at night. Eunseok had made sure to make up his bed when he first unpacked an hour or so ago, knowing that he’d have company in the form of his summer lover.

“Cute sheets.” They were the same sheets he’d brought to camp for the last four years, with a flower you’d embroidered for each year you and Eunseok had done camp as counselors together. Three wacky looking blossoms in different colors with the years stitched beneath them, a little reminder of your place in his life. You couldn’t wait to add this year’s.

“Thanks, this girl I’m seeing really likes stabbing at it every year.”

He grabbed onto your arm as you shoved at his chest, pulling you into him. “Shut up, you like it.”

“Never said I didn’t like it.” His mouth was warm against yours, lips still wet from the kiss in the break room. Your nerve endings were on fire now that it was truly just the two of you, no chance of being interrupted. Swallowing the taste of your cherry cola lip gloss, a long lasting favorite that Eunseok mentioned liking the first time the two of you kissed back when you were mere campers. A clumsy, barely there kiss during a game of spin the bottle. ‘Wow, delicious’ he said offhandedly, making everyone giggle and making you quite popular with the guys that summer. Everyone wanted to get a taste of your fizzy lipsmackers. “Tastes so good.”

Your cheeks ached as you smiled involuntarily, his compliment flying straight to your ego. The idea that he craves you when you’re apart made you feel powerful beyond comprehension. “What, none of your little Stanford groupies wear lipsmackers?”

“What groupies?” His slightly calloused hands eased up your torso, fiddling with the fabric of your bralette to roll it up above your chest. Your breasts felt so heavy in his hands, full and swollen just waiting for him to play with. “No groupies. Just the memory of you and my right hand.”

He lifted your shirt clean off of your body, leaving your chest exposed to the balmy air of the cabin. “I always took you for a lefty.”

Another fit of laughter befell the two of you as he pinched your hip, kissing you with resumed passion. The way the sunlight hit you through the moss colored blinds made his heart skip a beat, the golden flecks in your skin glittering for him with radiance. “Take off your shorts for me. Slowly.”

A string of saliva fell onto your chin as you stepped away from him, eyes on his that were already watching you as your hands pushed down atop your cotton shorts. You were slow, following his instructions exactly and leaving your panties on underneath. The material hit the wooden floor with a dense thud, your gaze never leaving Eunseok. Your bralette rested awkwardly beneath your armpits for just a few more moments, Eunseok moving just enough to pull it off for you. And there you stood, almost completely naked in your Birkenstocks while he was fully dressed in his usual Camp Watauga garb. “You’re a siren sent for my demise.”

He was sincere, eyes glinting in their candor. “You’re spoiling me.”

“Because you deserve it.” Eunseok kicked his shoes off as he walked the two of you to the bed, his touch tender as your back hit the mattress, careful not to bump into you roughly. The wet patch of your underwear was blatantly obvious as he got a flash between your legs, and it turned him on even more to know you were just as worked up as he was. “What do you do when you think about me?”

You shuddered under the intensity of his leer. “W-what makes you so sure I think about you?”

Eunseok scoffs, lowering his hips to press them square against yours. “Please, I’ve heard the audio messages you send me at two in the morning. You’re so wet the microphone picks it up. I swear, the way you cry into your phone just thinking about what I’d do to you is louder than how you get when I’m actually with you.”

The feeling of his cock swelling against your thigh made you wrap your legs around his hips, locking him flush against you; nothing but thin panties and his basketball shorts keeping you from what you really came here for. “Mm, okay, so what. You win. I think about you. You get my fingers nice and sticky.”

“So show me… tell me what you think about.” He sat back to pull his shirt off, chest exposing a well hidden surprise.

Your fingers flitted across his nipples, both of them sporting little silver hoops pierced through them. “Woah, Seokie, I had no idea how hardcore you were.” In the roughly forty weeks that you were apart, he’d gotten drunk on a night out and got his nipples pierced.

“Make fun all you want, but I know you like ‘em.” Your tongue replaced your curious thumbs, swirling around the jewelry like you were trying to find the center of a tootsie pop. Eunseok’s hips undulated your drenched underwear while you got lost in sucking his pecs, giving each one equal attention until tugging at one with your teeth. He hissed, bucking against your pussy harshly at the sting. “Ah, fuck, ___. That hurt.”

Kiss swollen lips all moistened, you pulled away from Eunseok’s chest with a sardonic grin. “What, that doesn’t turn you on anymore?”

His hands shoot out to pin your thighs to the bed, leaving your cunt exposed for him to grind against in a choppy rhythm. “You’re feeling feisty today, aren’t you?”

“Just like messing with you, s’all.”

Eunseok wasn’t in any mood to punish you, using his fingers to feel the outline of your pussy lips through the flimsy cotton. “I’ll give you a pass. Reunion immunity, or whatever.”

“Thank you, daddy.”

He was instantly smug at the name rolling off your tongue, chest swelling with pride as you pawed at the waist of his basketball shorts. “Can only call me that if you’re gonna be good the whole time. Are you gonna be good?”

Eyes aglow with mischief, teeth sinking into your bottom lip, you nodded. It was hard to promise obedience when you were so used to being defiant with him, so used to being a brat because Eunseok always has so much fun taming you. But you’d try, if it was what he wanted from you.

“Wanna hear you say it for me, darling.”

His fingers were no longer idle by his side, instead cupping your mound as he waited for you to speak. “I’ll be good, daddy, I promise.” A sharp tug at your panties threatened to tear them but he stopped his movements just in time. Your wetness was the star of the show, glistening in the bright light of day for Eunseok to relish in. Basking in just how riled up you were, leaking with arousal without him really getting to touch you. He slid your panties down your legs, tossing them just over the edge of the mattress so you wouldn’t have to go searching for them later. “Wan’ you to finger me.”

“Thought I told you to play with yourself for me,” Another gush of wetness dribbled out of your core as he blew at it. “Though it doesn’t look like you really need it, you could take it all in one thrust.”

You pulled at the hem of his shorts so they’d hang lower on his hips, the base of his cock visible from the way they hit his thighs. “But, daddy, I want it.”

“You’re so full of it, ___, you said you’d be good for me,” Eunseok pushed away from you just long enough to pull his basketball shorts off. “You’re awfully greedy, like you haven’t been fucked properly in far too long.”

His cock bobbed as it was released, twitching at attention while you drooled at the sight of it. “It’s been so long, Seok.”

Eunseok decided in that moment to give you what you’d been begging for, slathering his cock in the wetness that was smeared across your pussy lips. He was completely soaked in you without even putting it in yet. “Think you can take it all, baby?”

He knew you could, you’d been taking his cock like a sleeve for the past four years. But watching your bottom lip quiver in anticipation, nails gripping into the mattress, arms propping yourself up so you could have an unobstructed view to him fucking you open; it made him want to perform for you, give you something mouthwatering to remember him by.

Your body welcomed him like it had a hundred times over. It felt like coming home, having him stuffed inside you again after dreaming about it for so long. Eunseok always fit so perfectly inside of you, like you were a match made in heaven blessed to find each other in this lifetime. Your mewls were a forgotten melody against his ears, his stomach turning at the sight of you underneath him again. “More.”

“Take what I’m giving you like a good slut and I’ll give you more.” Your nose was buried in his neck as his body caged you against the mattress— completely drenched in him as his skin fused to yours, the slight tackiness of sweat emboldening the waves of Eunseok enveloping your senses. That winsome and creamy essence would always remind you of his hips grinding against yours, deep and slow just to tease you. Just to make you gasp out beneath him and beg for more. And begging wouldn’t be a problem if he wasn’t so damn cocky.

Eunseok was so good at talking you through his strokes, the vibrations of his voice louder against your chest than he was in your ear. It was so easy for him to make your mind feel all fuzzy just by being around you, that sweet peach smell so specific to him. You liked being so inundated by him, liked feeling like you were drowning in a sea of nothing but him all the time. Loved not knowing where he ended and you began because he was just so all consuming. You loved being his. “You look so beautiful like this.” Your breath caught in your throat, fingernails digging into his bicep as his lips ghosted your cheek. You were convinced he’d never felt this good before. “So pretty.”

“Fuck me hard,” your voice was whiny and pathetic, just the way Eunseok liked it (even when you were defying him). “I’ll be prettier— I-I’ll be prettier if you fuck me harder.”

Something flashed across his face far too quickly for you to catch it, his eyes widening just for a moment as he faltered from the leisurely pace he’d set. Eunseok was trying his hardest to be a little gentler with you since so much of your sex life was rough and fast. He didn’t mind slowing things down and showering you with a bit more affection and flowery sweet nothings. But he was only so strong, couldn’t resist you pleading with him, voice so desperate. How could he possibly deny you when you asked him like that?

His hips snapped forward as your hands snaked down his back, mouth cracking open at the delicious change in rhythm. “Yeah? Want me to fuck you dizzy?”

A whimper escaped your throat as one of his thumbs flicked at your pert nipple, toying with it like he usually toyed with your clit. “Fuck me dizzy, daddy,” His jaw clenched as you spoke, your tongue licking at the shell of his ear like you had dozens of times before. “I'll be so good for you, please.”

The bed creaked obnoxiously as he forced your legs back as far as they could go, pinning them out of his way so there was nothing holding him back from absolutely battering your cunt. You were certain that the wet smacking sound of his hips meeting your soaked center could be heard from just outside the cabin. Your body was suddenly hotter, the air thick with humidity, sex and oh so sweet Eunseok. It was moments like these where you thought you’d do absolutely anything for him, no matter how dark, if it meant he’d drill into you like this whenever you wanted. You’d consider signing your life away to be his own personal cocksleeve.

“Gonna fuck you ‘til you can’t walk anymore. Show Mark that you’re taken.”

With the way he was fucking into you, that wasn’t too far off. He shifted his weight to his knees so he could wrap his hands around your hips, dragging your body down on his cock in time with his thrusts. Your stomach coiled with hot orgasmic bliss as he angled his hips to rub your clit with each thrust, the pressure taking over your entire body in the form of mind-numbing pleasure.

“Yes, yes, yes.” Your body twisted in on itself as he pinched your nipples, applying just enough force to throttle you over the edge. “Fuck!” His lips met yours in a heated kiss that you were too fucked out to reciprocate, just moans and whimpers tumbling out as he licked into your mouth.

You were barely restored from your orgasm before he was bucking into you again. “Tell me, ___, tell me about the guys you slept with while you were waiting for me.”

“E-Eunseok!” It wasn’t a secret that you weren’t committed to one another, but telling him the details was going too far. You certainly didn’t want to hear about all of the girls he was railing at Stanford. “Too embarrassing…”

He stilled your hips flush against his pelvis, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. “Tell me, or I’ll stop altogether.”

Catching your breath, gasping for air you didn’t even really know you were deprived of, you opened your eyes to face his demand, “It was only two, I swear.”

Eunseok grunted, resuming his thrusts with exaggerated force. “Were they keeping you satisfied?” Your cheeks burned with embarrassment, not wanting to think about the meaningless hookups that you only went through with because you were horny. “Or were they greedy? Huh? Were they taking care of my baby the way I do?”

“Mnh, no! The first guy was terrible, nothing compared to you.”

He slowed his thrusts, gripping onto your thighs a bit harder. “And the second guy?” You didn’t respond as quickly as you had the first time. In fact, you didn’t speak up at all. Eunseok was starting to think you didn’t hear him.

“Ma— The second guy was… he took care of me, daddy.”

Eunseok wasn’t expecting you to say that at all. He was expecting you to wax on about how nobody was better than him, but this threw a wrench in his plans. “Turn around, get on all fours.” His cock slipped out of you unceremoniously, his jaw clenching as you scrambled to turn over.

“I’m sorry, Seok, it didn’t mean anything.”

He folded you in on yourself, leaving your ass perched in the air for Eunseok to play with as he saw fit. His cock lodged back in your cunt in one motion, filling you to the brim like he’d never pulled out. Your cries were muffled by the pillow your face was pressed up against, arms limp above the mattress as Eunseok fucked you like a rag doll. All of your neurons were short circuiting at the same time, leaving you a braindead slut for your camp boyfriend’s fat cock. Drool soaked the pillowcase beneath you, and it only made Eunseok laugh at your tremors of pleasure.

“Remember what I taught you last summer?” His deft fingers fluttered just over your puckered hole, laughing as he watched you jerk at the featherlight touch. “Yeah?”

A rivulet of his saliva dripped onto your hole, his index finger stretching through the ring of muscle. The fit was tight and you arched your back at the intrusion, a shaky moan rolling off your tongue. “E-Eunseok…”

He was still thrusting into your cunt shallowly, rocking forward just enough to prolong the pleasure. “Don’t tell me,” His long fingers slapped your opening harshly, sending down another glob of spit. “Was all our training for nothing? Am I the only one who’s fucked you here?” One more dribble for your entrance before he added another finger, pressing them against your walls that were still wrapped around his cock. “Hm? Am I the one and only, baby?”

You whimpered at the memory, his fat cock splitting you open in a way you’d always swore you’d never do. But he was just so charming and intoxicating, his charisma your fatal weakness— you’d never dream of saying no to Song Eunseok.

“Y-yes. You’re the only one.”

He loved that answer. He wasn’t stupid, he knew you were fucking people the other three seasons out of the year. But there was a very large part of him that took pride in knowing there was something reserved just for the two of you, something no one else got to experience with you. It made him slip his cock even further inside of you, testing out a third finger as you bit into the pillow beneath you. “That’s what I like to hear, baby,” Gliding his cock out of your heat and tapping the tip against your hole, gaped open by his fingers that were still pressed inside. “You ready for me?”

You nodded slowly, nervous to take him after such a long time without it. “Slowly, Eunseok. I’m scared.”

Eunseok ducked his head so his lips were pressed right against your ear, “Baby, you know I’m always gentle with this one.” His free hand wrapped around your ponytail, pulling you towards him to arch your back at just the right angle. You barely registered the switch from his fingers to the head of his cock, his touch so delicate and the added gloss from your juices making it so seamless. “God, baby, you’re so hot.” His hand snaked around to your breasts to fondle them as a distraction to his length sliding deeper inside of you.

“Oh, fuck,” so that’s what you had been missing this past year, “oh, Seok, I’m so full.”

He’s never been shy around you, groaning out curses and moaning your name as he so pleases. His voice sends vibrations through your head, and all you can focus on is trying to breathe right. You were so overwhelmed with the feeling of Eunseok inside of you, you felt like you were pulsating. His hand in your hair tugged at you so you’d turn towards him, whining into your mouth before locking you in a sweet kiss that tastes like peach rings. “I’ve thought about this… everyday for the last nine months.”

That was true, or at least you wholeheartedly believed it. Very rarely, once every few months or so, Eunseok would text you into the wee hours of the morning, checking to see if you were awake. And every single time, you were. It was like you could sense that he was going to text you, your body wide awake until the very moment the text came through. It always ends with the two of you on the phone, talking each other through a filthy orgasm or two. You’d actually catch up once you finished, mesmerized by the facets of his life that you’d never seen before. And then you wouldn’t hear from him for another two or three months.

And when the wait was over, you were back in his arms, breathing in the sweat canvasing his body as he fucked you like his own personal toy. You were so pliable, so obedient, so in sync with his every desire; you were the high he chased September through May.

“Put your fingers in your pussy.” A quick slap to your ass before grabbing onto it, “you were dying for it earlier, go ‘head.”

You didn’t even have to move your fingers once they were inside of you, Eunseok’s thrusts providing enough friction to stimulate your g-spot. “Oh, fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum.”

Pumping two fingers inside of yourself, Eunseok added two of his own as he rubbed at your clit ruthlessly, thrusting into your ass still just as deep as before. The wave crept up on you in an unforgiving crescendo that raptured your soul from your body. Your body convulsed uncontrollably, hips thrashing against Eunseok as you squirted all over the sheets. The fingers crooked inside of you were a mess, covered in both your juices and cream from fucking yourself on them. You could just barely hear Eunseok hissing at how tightly your ass was squeezing him.

Eunseok was able to hold off on his own climax, thrusting shallowly into you until your tremors subside. “Felt good?” He took the risk of ruining his camp shirt by wiping his cock down with it, leaving your holes filthy and empty as he took an intermission for cleanup. “I thought about you every night at school, wishing my hand was you. Imagining pumping your sweet little pussy to the brim with my cum. Or painting your pretty face with it. Sometimes both,” His fingers curled inside of you and your eyes flittered shut. “Would think about you in my dreams, too, fuck. Had to jerk off before class because you’d get me so worked up.”

When Eunseok got like this— messy, generous, overruled by lust— there was no stopping him. You knew that you were effectively out of commission for the rest of the day.

The marathon fuck-fest went on for all three days you had before camp started, sneaking away to grab food at the very end of meal times, doing everything in your power to avoid everyone else. The days spoiled you, the reality of the situation escaping you until you were forcefully faced with it. The beginning of camp meant having no time designated for private moments tucked away with Eunseok. It was all about finding time throughout the day for stolen kisses, coordinating bathroom breaks so he could finger you hastily, slinking out on late night smoke sessions with Haechan and Minjeong to ride Eunseok until you passed out. The only guaranteed time you had with Eunseok was after campground curfew if you weren’t on cabin watch.

The nightly routine was the same— at eleven o’clock on the dot, you were knocking on his cabin door. The lights were already off but Eunseok would take the time to make sure every single light including the porch one was out. That’s when he’d open the door, just enough to peek out and ensure no one was watching before pulling you inside. It was the same for when you left, and all the hoops you had to jump through was just part of the fun. Having a three step plan before even being able to kiss him was worth it when he put his hands on your body, lips on your skin, knees knocking yours. He was yours only in private moments, but yours nonetheless.

Eunseok kissed you like you were the antidote to his incurable desire, and that wasn’t something you were willing to give up (even if you couldn’t tell anyone). But this summer was all about risks, evidently, as the two of you were quick to jump each other’s bones all across the campgrounds. Something about the looming threat of never being back at Watauga again made the two of you much more willing to test your luck.

THE BOATHOUSE

Your panties in your mouth was the only way you were able to muffle all the noises you were making, your ass sore from the way Eunseok was fucking into you. There wasn’t a sturdy enough surface for you to grab out for so you settled for pressing your hands against the wall, eyes trained on the rest of the counselors outside. The window was tinted, and small enough that they wouldn’t be able to see anything, but you couldn’t help but wonder; did they know? Know the reason you and Eunseok stepped away at the same time?

“Look at them. So clueless. Minjeong has no idea you’re getting your little pussy pounded right now.” His head rested in the crook of your neck, careful not to leave any hickies with his kisses.

“Oh, please, Seok, let me cum.”

The vibrations from his laughter permeated through your skin, “you wanna cum? Play with your clit for me. Rub it like I would.” Your eyes rolled back so far you were sure you’d go cross eyed, scorching hot bliss consuming your body as your orgasm swallowed you whole. The fear of being caught was the greatest aphrodisiac Eunseok had ever served you, the feeling reaching down to the tips of your toes as you curled them in rapture. “I know, baby, I know.” Quick fingers swirling around your clit as you spasmed on his cock, his own legs buckling in weakness. His arms wrapped around your torso, keeping you steady as cum spilled right into your cervix.

He pulled out before he went soft, cum hitting the floor with a quiet splat. You turned at the sound, mouth ajar as he looked back at you with eyes wide as saucers. “Eunseok!”

THE DINING HALL

It wasn’t on purpose, but you definitely didn’t stop him from peppering kisses along your neck and jaw as you filled the juice dispenser with ice. You wouldn’t bother getting fully undressed, lulling articles of clothing to the side amidst the grinding and heavy petting before he entered you smoothly. “So good for me, letting me fuck you out here.” His hands clasped atop yours as you gripped the dining hall counter, the prettiest gasp torn from your throat as he bottomed out.

Eunseok’s chin rested in the juncture of your neck and shoulder, warm breathing fanning the side of your face as your eyes screwed shut from the pleasure. His arms move to wrap around your neck as you let your head fall back onto the table, mewls slipping past your lips as he rammed against your g-stop. “Feels good baby? Want more?”

You frantically nod because you could never say no to more from him, back arching as his hands fondle every erogenous zone he could reach; nipples, chest, lower tummy, inner thighs. That paired with his deep thrusts sends you over the edge briskly, your cup of bug juice spilling over from the way you were thrashing in his hold. Your orgasm triggers his own, his teeth sinking into you as he fills you up to the brim.

THE TENNIS COURT

Twice a session, Camp Watauga organized Field Trip Day. No counselors ever want to go on the first trip, but you and Eunseok were smart— make the sacrifice for the first trip so that you both could hang back together when all the other counselors had to go on the second trip. It was the smartest thing you’d done in all your years at Watauga. The campgrounds were like a deserted island, just you, Eunseok, a few staffers, and a first year counselor whose name you kept forgetting.

“Would you let me fuck you with a racket?”

You didn’t need too much time to think about it. “Mm, a fresh one, yeah. If you really wanted to.”

Eunseok dug his hand through the duffel bag he brought out with him, “Like the brand new one I washed this morning just in case you said yes?” He wasn’t kidding. “I wrapped it in a clean towel to be extra safe.”

“Okay, I was under the impression the question was hypothetical.”

His head tilted to the side as he shrugged, a little embarrassed to be shot down so quickly. “It still can be. But I really want to.”

“How thick is that thing, anyway?”

A wicked smile spread across his lips— he knew he had you. “It’s thinner than my dick, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

And he was right, your skirt pulled up and your panties to the side testing your entrance with the edge of the racket. Your pussy opened up for him slowly, taking every centimeter of the racket that he sank into you as he tested the waters. Light, precise thrusts to get your body used to the feeling. “Feels…”

“Good? Do you want me to keep going, or do you wanna stop?” Eunseok halted his movements as he waited for you to respond, smiling like he’d won the lottery when you urged him to continue. “Be as loud as you want, baby, no one can hear us out here.”

Out on the tennis court, the very one you used to play on when you were a camper, you let your guard down. You leaned back into Eunseok’s chest, head resting on his shoulder as he worked you open with the racket. The ripples of pleasure already had you squirming in his hold, having to force yourself to calm down— he was just getting started. With Eunseok wrapped around you taking care of your sodden folds, you crept your hands beneath your shirt to fondle your breasts. The attention made your hips buck into the racket, a sharp cry soaring from your throat. “Fuck, the felt good. Aim it higher.” He did as he was told, in awe of your transformation from hesitant to in charge. The grooves on the handle added extra sensation, that soft spongy spot flourishing under all of the attention the racket was giving it. Your orgasm was rushing in on you hard and fast, and you couldn’t stop yourself from fucking the racket back. “Faster, fuck, right there! ‘M so close.”

Eunseok altered his position before granting you your demand, fisting the racket handle with one hand and caressing your clit with the other. You were unreservedly exposed to the woods before you, but the way you were spreading your legs suggested that you didn’t care. Another gush of wetness leaked out of you at the thought of a random hiker seeing you splayed open like this, drinking in your pussy like a pervert. You were gluttonous, your appetite for euphoria unappeasable; it was complete benediction that you’d found Eunseok to not fulfill your desires, but tempt you with entirely new ones.

“Give it to me, angel,” A string of spit dripped from his lips onto your cunt, “Wanna see you cum all over this racket like the hungry little slut you are.”

It was the kind of orgasm where you thought you might die, the ecstasy too much for your body to handle. Bathed in direct sunlight, heart racing like a marathoner, brain utterly devoid of any thoughts other than Eunseok, Eunseok, Eunseok!

The racket slipped out of you naturally as Eunseok loosened his grip and your seizing pussy pushed it out. Eunseok was hard as a rock as he watched you come to, your sweaty palms reaching out for him. “Just so you know,” your voice was hoarse from all the screaming, “I would’ve never let those other guys put a racket in me.”

THE JACUZZI

The perfect goodbye, in Eunseok’s words, was a tryst in the coveted counselor jacuzzi that required special permission from Director Irwin. “We won’t have to ask if we go while he’s asleep.” And just like everything he’d ever talked you into, you couldn’t say no to Song Eunseok.

Eunseok was already waiting for you at the jacuzzi when you arrived, arms spread out against the rim as the beginning flecks of sunrise teased the horizon.

It felt different than all the other times you guys had been together, except one— your first time with him. Neither of you were virgins when it happened, but he was so tender with his every touch. Gentle with the way he spoke to you, soft in the way he praised you. Sleeping together sprang from carnal desire, but his manifested delicately. All of those feelings came flooding back as he talked you through this time, lips sucking on your earlobe as you twirled your hips with his. Hands pressed to your back, tongue crying out about how beautiful you were. It gave you déjà vu.

And there, with your cheeks flushed and your hair pulled away from your face. With sweat dotting your hairline and your lips three shades darker. It had never been clearer to him. “I love you,” The sound of the jets in the water almost muffled him. “And I don’t want you to say anything just yet, alright? I really want you to think about it because I really think you might be the love of my life, and I don’t wanna rush through that. Just… think about it.”

Your head bobbed in understanding, not knowing how to just continue after a confession like that.

“Alright, let’s get out of here. Before someone catches us.”

It was the only time Eunseok had ever left you high and dry, and you were too frazzled to finish yourself off. You walked back to your cabin in a trance, combing over every moment you’d spent with him under a microscope. He loves you. Not just into you or in love with having sex with you. He loves you.

There wasn’t much for you to think about, but you’d already decided to humor him. You’d take the rest of the day leading up to the going away party to ‘ponder’.

The annual (unofficial) going away party for the counselors always took place in the woods, keeping the debauchery far away from the campers who liked to test their luck with curfew since it was the end of the summer. It was a childish celebration of all the time spent at Camp Watauga, but you wanted to entertain it, anyway. It was your last summer, after all.

Eunseok didn’t want to play Never Have I Ever, knowing that it was gonna leave him hungover the next morning since everyone liked to play dirty. He resigned to finishing his drink leaned up against a tree, soaking in the picture of all of you together for the last time. Sure, he was staying on the East Coast, but it wasn’t a guarantee that he’d be able to keep in touch with everyone. Although, the only person he really cared to stay in touch with was you.

“Okay, never have I ever hooked up with someone in the circle.” Giselle giggled at her own addition, knowing for a fact that several of her friends would have to drink. Minjeong and Jimin rolled their eyes as they took a sip, their relationship being a dead give away that they’d hooked up before. But Eunseok was far more concerned with the sip that you took than anyone else.

He wanted to say something, but he knew it would give him away immediately. So he was relieved when Jimin spoke up for him. “___! Someone in this circle?”

You cleared your throat, obviously avoiding Eunseok’s gaze as you tucked your hair behind your ear. “Um, yeah. Just a couple times, nothing crazy.”

“A couple times? Who?”

It was painful as you polished off the rest of your drink, fidgeting with the fibers of the rug you were sitting on. “Mark.”

Oh. Oh. The same Mark you’d told Eunseok you wanted nothing to do with, that Mark? Mark Lee who’d had a thing for you since you were a shy camper, nervous about spending the night away from your friends and family? Eunseok could kill him. “When was this? Was it right under our noses?”

“Eunseok—” You knew you shouldn’t have said anything, but lying would’ve been just as bad. Mark could’ve chimed in at any moment, and he wouldn’t have been exaggerating. Sure, the two of you knew it was just sex, but you never told him to keep it a secret. You weren’t ashamed of your sexual history with him, but you were afraid of how it would affect Eunseok.

“No, please, tell the class. I think we’re all just curious.”

You couldn’t feel the night breeze anymore, white hot humiliation burning you from the inside out. “It wasn’t a big deal. It was when Mark moved back to Connecticut for a few months for work. His apartment was like ten minutes from campus and he asked if I wanted to meet for a drink.”

“We never did get that drink, now that I think about it,” Mark chuckled to himself, locking eyes with Eunseok, “Never made it out of my apartment that night.”

The difference between humans and animals is quite simple; logical reasoning. Humans can think about certain things and are motivated by their instincts, intellect and logic. Animals are incapable of reasoning and are simply motivated by their instincts alone. Eunseok, by definition, was an animal. His fist cut through the air and into Mark’s jaw without a second thought.

You were almost certain you heard a crack upon impact, but Mark barely flinched. Like he was expecting it. He was ready to fight back with his hands curled into fists, fractured jaw bone an afterthought. Everyone else was shuffling to get away, screaming at the two of them to knock it off. The only person to jump in the middle was Haechan, arms flexing every muscle possible to keep Eunseok and Mark off of each other.

“Guys, stop! Why are you fighting?” Their fight was lost on everyone but you, the guilt you’d shoved down bubbling to the surface as you watched them claw at each other.

Haechan was able to get a handle on Mark, leaving Eunseok open for you to shake some sense into. He was so hurt as he finally looked at you, shoulders slumping as his chest heaved. “Eunseok, stop it, why are you getting so worked up about this?”

Mark was out for blood, cradling his jaw as he said what everyone was thinking. “Because everyone knows he wants you but he can’t admit it.”

“I have her! She is mine! I belong to her!” The hush that fell over the room was eerie, not a single peep out of anyone as you watched Eunseok with bated breath. “You guys might have fucked a few times, but she’s mine. Has been since year seven. Just because we set each other free from fall to spring doesn’t mean I’m not hers.”

So much for keeping it a secret. Everyone gawked at you, the shock of you and Eunseok actually being a thing greater than the shock of Eunseok punching the shit out of Mark. Like clockwork, everyone gathered their things and fled the area, whispering about how they’d never seen that side of Eunseok before.

You were still startled. “What was that?”

“Oh, don’t start. You’ve been nothing but distant this whole summer, you let me hang around Mark looking like an idiot, you made me feel fucking stupid!”

“Distant? Eunseok, we’ve spent everyday together. You’ve been my entire summer. And of course I didn’t tell you about Mark, there’s nothing to tell! We only hooked up like three times, and it was mainly because I was missing you,” He moved to interject but you cut him off with a wave of your hands, “Do you know how selfish it is for you to tell me you love me, tell me not to respond, and then accuse me of keeping you at arm's length all in one day? To paint me out to be this heartless tramp when I’ve only ever loved you?”

He kicked at the twigs by his feet, hair on the back of his neck standing up at those last two words. “You love me?”

“Does… does this really sound like the time for that? I’m in the middle of tell you that I’m pissed at you.”

That cocky smirk was back on his face, his front teeth gnawing at his bottom lip. “Yeah, but you love me.” He took his bruised hand to grab your chin, forcing your focus on him. “Say it.”

“Eunseok…” He hummed at the sound of his name in your mouth, angry demeanor nowhere to be found. “You big, dumb idiot, I love you.”

He kissed you like he was afraid he might hurt you, cradling your head delicately as you let yourself simmer in the feeling of love. The feeling of your fingers in his hair, his heart beating at the speed of light against your chest. It was a feeling you’d pushed down year after year, too afraid to confront the possibility of losing him. And now, wrapped in his arms post love confession, you weren't afraid of anything.

So, yeah. Maybe you felt a little corny walking into the dining hall the next morning with Eunseok’s arm thrown over your shoulder. But you’d do way cornier things for Song Eunseok.

#eunseok x reader #eunseok smut #eunseok imagines #song eunseok x reader #song eunseok smut #song eunseok imagines #song eunseok fanfic #riize hard hours #riize scenarios #riize smut #riize imagines #riize x reader

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angeldreamsoffanfic · 2 years ago

Text

“So how did you know?”

“Know what?”

“Y’know, how did you know.”

“Dingus, I’m gonna need you to spell it out for me here, the Russians did a number on how many of my braincells are actually working.”

“How did you know that you liked girls?”

Robin Buckley immediately pushed herself up so she was resting on her elbows, head tilted to catch Steve Harrington’s eyes in the low light of their hospital room.

They weren’t originally even going to go to the hospital, if Robin was being honest. They had just wanted to slip away back to their respective homes, but then Melissa and Richard Buckley caught wind that Robin was hurt. Then the both of them realized that Steve’s parents (if Robin has to use that term to describe them) had less than zero intention of sending anyone to pick up Steve.

Then EMS made the light suggestion of both of them probably needing to go to Hawkins General Hospital… and well, while Melissa and Richard did tend to lead toward more natural remedies… one couldn’t fix a concussion or a drugging with an unknown substance with essential oils and hope.

“Robbie? Did you OD over there?” Steve had himself up on his elbows, easily mimicking Robin. That’s the thing that makes the inside of Robin ache, that he’s so like her. She knows that she’s an only child, knows that, but sometimes Steve’ll just… do something and it makes her question it. Makes her wonder how she spent so long without him, without another brain and two legs and arms and so much hair. “Robbie?”

“No, I am still alive.” Robin slowly spoke, before she let out a soft sigh. “Why do you ask?”

“Like-” Steve huffed as he shook his head from side to side, before he used the one hand that was free from the pulse monitor and saline drip to card through his hair. It’s sleep ruffled, and if he uses product (Robin is sure he does), it’s for sure gone. Steve looks up though, and his eyes are so earnest that it causes something to hurt inside of Robin. “never mind just ignore- fuck - just ignore me.”

“I couldn’t ignore you if I tried, you idiot.” Robin let out a huff, and she winced as the PICC line in her arm shifted as tilted to be able to fully face Steve on her side. “But I just, dingus, this is out of left field for even you.”

“How so?”

“Did you even know that, that people like me even existed until a couple of hours ago?” Robin kept her voice soft, especially as Steve huffed out an indignant sounding sigh. Robin sighs though, and then she cards her own hand through her hair, and forges onward. “I think I’ve just… always known.”

“Always?”

“Yeah like-” Robin shrugged, a careful movement of her shoulders. “When I was like, eight? My uh, parents sent me to this camp thing- like summer camp kind of like what Dustin went to? But with, y’know, with the swimming and archery and dude I was fucking awful at it.” Steve let out a soft and watery laugh at Robin’s rambling, and that gave Robin enough power to continue. “But we uh, had these like songs we had to learn? And there was this uh, girl counselor there that had to teach me because you know, that was her job.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, and uh. She couldn’t have been older than I am now but man…” Robin let out a slow whistle, and allowed herself to fully melt into the hospital cot she’s laid up on. “All I could think was that I just wanted to be with her. Like not even kissing because I thought kissing was gross then, still do now kinda but anyway- I wanted to like, hold her hand and shit. Do the cheesy stuff I’d seen in the movies, y’know?”

Steve huffed out his own laugh, and he tilted his head to lean against his pillows instead of facing Robin. Robin watched though, quiet for once, as Steve swallowed once and then twice- before he cleared his throat.

“I knew it existed before you.”

“What?”

“It.”

“Dingus-”

“Girls liking girls.” Steve’s voice is barely above a whisper, even as Robin can hear him gulp in a lungful of air. “And boys liking boys.”

“You did?” Robin kept her voice quiet, gentle, as coaxing as she could- especially when she could see Steve’s throat bob. “Dingus?”

“I…” Steve doesn’t continue, and that’s enough.

Enough to Robin that she pushed herself up, and ignored the pain that ricocheted down her spine like needles. Ignored Steve’s hurried ‘what are-’, as she stumbled out of her hospital bed and right to Steve’s. She made sure to drag her IV pole and the monitor with her, situating it as best as she could next to Steve’s. Robin huffed quietly as the pain trickled down her spine, and she couldn’t help but smile as Steve curled his hand carefully around her wrist and tugged.

Robin got comfortable, let Steve fret over her as best as he could, his fingers only ever-so slightly trembling as he made sure that the line in her arm wasn’t kinked up. They were pressed close, side to side and hip to hip, and Robin tilted her head down until it was rested on Steve’s shoulder.

“Wanna keep going, Stevie?”

“No.”

“But?”

“I…” Steve huffed again, a small indignant noise that Robin mimicked.

They sat like that then, just the two of them for a moment, before Steve continued slowly.

“I’ve never, told anyone this- like I’ve told Tommy H. so much shit about me - but this is… Robin this is different.” Steve speaks in a hurried and stilted way, like he’s stringing together bits and pieces of sentences, and it shouldn’t work.

But it does because he’s Steve and she’s Robin.

And truthfully, Robin likes that. That they’re Steve and Robin. SteveandRobin. RobinandSteve. Likes that the two of them are so in tune that even her own mother didn’t want to separate them.

That had to mean something in the end, didn’t it?

“Tell me, whatever… whenever.” Robin murmured as she turned her head so she could press a soft kiss to Steve’s shoulder. The hospital gown is thin enough she can feel the heat of his skin from up under it, and that’s grounding. Grounding even as Steve drew in a shaky breath, audibly swallowing again. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.”

“I didn’t uh, notice Tammy in Ms. Click’s class or uh, you for a reason.” Steve slowly spoke, eyes wet, and Robin can hear his sniffle as he tried to reign his emotions back. “Ms. Click made him sit uh, right by her desk at the front of the room.”

And oh.

Oh.

If that doesn’t immediately settle something that just usually writhes around in Robin’s chest.

“Him?” Robin is gentle, gentler than she thinks she’s ever been.

“Uh, yeah… Eddie Munson?” Steve huffed out an almost dry laugh, the only thing that he does that ever remotely reminds her of his time as his high school “King Steve” persona. “He uh, got this bat tattoo right before that year’s Thanksgiving break and all I could do was just… gawk at him.”

“And then what?” Robin knew she was pushing, searching for information, but she can’t help it. Not when Steve is right next to her, hip to hip and thigh to thigh. Not when he’s like her. In all the ways that matter.

“I went home and screamed into my pillow.”

Robin immediately smacked Steve’s thigh with the knuckles of her left hand- grinning in triumph when Steve let out a squawk of laughter.

“Eddie Munson?”

“What about him?”

“He’s… he’s a total dud!”

“No he’s not!”

“He stepped in my mashed potatoes once! That is totally total dud material!”

“No way!”

“He wants to be like, like a metal singer!”

“He has a band! Dreams!”

“Do you even know if he can hold a tune?”

“Well, no-”

“Total. Dud.”

Robin grinned wide as Steve launched into a very quick defense about Eddie, and she decides then and there that Steve and her? They’ll be just fine.

Especially if she can get Eddie to come into Steve and her’s orbit just a bit, to see if the crush is still there.

Because while Robin may not have all of the gay knowledge in the world, there is one thing for a complete certainty that she knows.

The black hanky that Eddie kept in his pocket?

Well…

Robin chuffed to herself, before she tilted so she could lay on her side- nose tucked into the place where Steve’s neck and shoulder met.

Right before she falls asleep though, Robin does a very important thing on a mental whiteboard.

You Rule: 1

You Suck: 0

hope you all enjoyed! truthfully think this is one of my favorite things i have written. love platonic stobin. <3

#angeldreamsoffanfic #steve harrington #robin buckley #steve and robin #robin and steve #platonic stobin #stobin friendship #codependent stobin #steve harrington and robin buckley are bffs #eventual steddie #steddie #steddie ficlet #richard and melissa buckley saw steve sitting in the ambulance with robin and went oh we have a son now #steve harrington has bad parents #but he has the buckleys now <3 #fleshed out robin buckley’s gay awakening #the counselor was named in my head but it didn’t make sense to fit it in here (her name was maddie)#robin likes girls where there name ends in something that sounds like the letter ‘y’#exhibit a: tammy exhibit b: vickie exhibit c: nancy exhibit d: chrissy #in this essay i will #stobin ficlet #platonic with a capital p #sometimes i tag things and then forget other (see more important) tags #sorry y’all

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nana-luvy · 1 month ago

Text

. 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞 / 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞 .

warnings: fluff, female!reader, cocky!Luke, daughter of Hecate!reader, short mention of telekinesis (if you're not too ok with magic), double pov, use of Y/n, foul language (kinda casual swear words but still, if you don't like em..)

In which they try to find their way to the other.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

__ His type __

It hadn’t been eventful at camp in a couple years, probably since you had come to camp. You‘d never gotten sent on a quest, as much as you would’ve loved to finally go back to the rest of the world, you had never been involved in big drama around camp, had never had your life at risk from a surprise attack in the woods and had barely even been the target of a silly prank.

Your life for the past years had mostly consisted of training, eating, sleeping and praying at the most, maybe you had squealed once in excitement the day you discovered who your godly parent was, but that was it. Over the time you’d started making friends, seeing as you barely had any half-siblings, going out with people from other cabins more than from the one you lived in, the Hermes cabin. Because, apparently, you did not deserve a half-family cabin if you weren’t child of one of the major deities. Harsh.

But over the course of the past few months, you had surprised yourself being more… full of emotions that before, and all because of a silly reason. Blame it on late blooming of teenage hormones, but you were by now knees deep in a one sided crush on Luke Castellan, a crush you considered profoundly stupid when he had basically everything to himself and could just attract anyone he’d want. You had started noticing him only recently, after years of being acquaintances ; you’d first met him a few days after reaching camp, when he apparently came back from a quest, just a 16 years old teenager, short messy brown hair and almost-chubby face in comparison to the present.

But now…. you could spend tens of minutes speaking of him, even if you would afterwards brush it off as mere observance, speaking of his looks, his personality, his habits... How he had grown taller over the span of barely a trimester, how his curl started looking so defined and shiny when he had finally started taking care of his hair after you’d spent a whole 10 minutes, at a party on the beach, dissing it. How he had this determination to him whenever he did something, like he would solely focus on it just to succeed, how he took care of the newcomers ever since he got promoted to head counselor of his cabin, making sure they had everything and didn’t feel the tiniest bit alone, even going out of his way to ensure they were comfortable after the never-ending stress that was their trip to camp. How, even through his practiced mask of kindness and laid-back attitude, he had this small tick on his face and this tilt of his head when he was annoyed, how he would always rub right over his scar first when he defeated someone during sword training…

Clarisse and Silena always made fun of you whenever you would bring Luke up, knowing they were in for a ride because it was more often than not a flow of words they couldn’t stop until it did on its own.

And it was the case just this instant.

“Argh, why do I even like guys, huh ? That’s fucking bland, I swear…” you said, throwing your arms in the air in defeat.

You were all sat at a small table, no too far from the training grounds but just a little away from the path that went towards it, so there was just a little privacy. The sun was high up in the sky and you four girls, Annabeth having joined the group after lunch, were thankful for the shadow cast upon you by the large tree above the table.

“I mean, yeah, it is, but I can’t throw the first stone at you on that one..” Selina answered, shaking her head with a small smile and a raise of her eyebrows.

“And are you reaaaally that disappointed by men, huh ? Because, weirdly, something tells me otherwise, girl.” Clarisse chimed in as she put her card down and cheered a little, playing War against an Annabeth who looked clearly exasperated by her own lack of luck. “Something with curly hair and a flirty smile.”

“Ugh, don’t even start me on him…” you replied, running your hands on your face in exaggerated frustration. “I swear, he’s so.. ugh.. Like, sure, you know, he’s cute, and he’s tall and stuff, but it’s such a pain to have a crush on a boy, you get me ? And even more when the boy knows he’s good looking and plays along. Would be so much easier with a gir-”

“Not much easier with a girl.”

“Sure, Clarisse, sure, whatever you say like you have experience.” you replied, nodding your head at her like you’d do to a child while Clarisse held back from saying something else. “I just mean, guys just feel so simple-headed but- I don’t know…”

“You do know.” Annabeth only replied in a knowing tone, not tearing her eyes from the game she was loosing against Clarisse.

“Okay yeah, I do know. It’s just- He’s so infuriating! Like-” you caught a rustle in a bush nearby on your side, head snapping towards it, but came back to the conversation when you saw nothing. “-what do you mean you flirt with every single person, you know ? I don’t mean it like I’m jealous, by the way, it’s just really misleading.” The three other girls looked between themselves with a similar, shared gaze. “It’s not even like he seems to have a type, like- bro just picks up another girl at a party, they chat or a few days and sometimes she just disappears from around him like their link never existed. What a fucking jerk…”

You mumbled the last part, furrowing your brows because it didn’t feel fair sometimes, for your heart to tug when you were thinking of someone you found so… terribly not crush material. Not that he wasn’t, but you preferred lying to yourself on the matter, enjoying the feeling of being even the littlest in control over that particular emotion that just acted on its own.

“Except he has a type- Clarisse I swear to gods, you have to be cheating ! How else do you win a war game 5 times in a row ?”

“I don’t cheat, mini-girl, it’s called talent ~” Clarisse cheered, throwing her cards in the air in victory. “And as we bet, loser cleans up, thank you in advance.”

As Annabeth sighed in defeat, crouching to pick up the cards that had slipped right under the table, you spoke up again, continuing your little dragon origami. “What do you mean he has a type ? I mean, he just seems to flirt with whatever walks his way in the slightest.”

“She’s just jealous that he doesn’t flirt with her when she walks his way.” Silena whisper-yelled at the two others, poorly hiding it behind her hand in mock confession.

“Si ? Shut up, I love you.” You did a small heart gesture your friend’s way, both apologetic and purely sarcastic.

“No I mean, I know he kinda has someone in mind, you know ? I don’t even remember when he told me that…” Except she totally remembered. Annabeth had really, really wanted it to come around naturally, but she was growing tired of the unspoken situation and the relentless talks about it.

“What- how come you never told me ? Annabeth, I plead you, give me your in-tells and I’ll give you my desserts for a whole month. During every meal. Just tell me what's his type.”

“But I can get as many as I want already, technically.”

“Then I’ll get up and go get them for you. Please.”

The younger girl raised an eyebrow, looking somewhat interested by the proposition, before letting out a sigh. “Fine, as you want, I’ll tell you what I know.”

“”Beth ? I love you too.” you said in your most serious tone.

The younger stayed silent for a little while, before parting her lips again. “Wow. You’re really love-bombing us today, huh ? Anyway, his type…” Annabeth tried her best to look like she was thinking back to find the memory, when she just had to look at the girl in front of her to find a perfect description. “He’s into girls around his age, mostly, or just barely younger, someone who doesn’t dislike fighting and even likes to put up a fight in general when she doesn’t get what she wants, dare I say kind of a lunatic-”

“Wait, what ? He’s into spoiled princesses or..?” Clarisse said, cutting Annabeth off, but it only made the latter let out a chocked out snort.

“I mean, if you say it.”

“Is there more ?” you pressed eagerly, almost gripping the side of the table without realizing.

The younger girl looked at you with raised eyebrows, but chose not to call out the obvious. “Well… he likes someone slightly crazy but still pretty nice-”

”You’re literally describing half the girls at camp.”

“Oh my gods! That’s it, I’m not helping you out. You can find out yourself if your crush likes you, girl.” she replied, trying to sound annoyed when she was totally amused by the situation. But for the sake of her sanity and her friend’s, she had to act. So she gathered the cards, threw them in her pocket, and bid her goodbyes. “See you around, and no ‘him talk’, I can’t take it anymore!”

You sat dumbfounded for a second, before looking to the two other girls who already stared at you, putting your hands up in surrender. “Yeah, alright, alright, I’ll stop…” you said, pushing yourself off the table’s bench. “See you later ?”

“See ya ~”

But the next days felt even more boring than usual, nothing happening that was out of the ordinary, so you had to entertain yourself a little. Searching for something to do while finally cleaning your bunk, which you had been meaning to do for ages, an idea popped in your mind: how about investigating to find your crush’s crush ? What could be healthier ?

You’d heard from someone who probably had heard from someone before that Luke was calmer these past few weeks, showing way less of his usual ‘flirty jock’ behavior, and many were suspecting a possible someone had been the cause. So you were decided to find out who the ‘possible someone’ was, because after all you had already come to terms with how your hopeless one-sided crush would never have a proper conclusion, and maybe this would be a way to finally get your closure.

So, pink ink pen and black notepad in hand, you went back outside to take a seat under a tree in the Cabin area, seeing campers walk around in the already hot morning, some going to the training grounds, a few Apollo kids busy with stocking back the inventory of the infirmary, a handful of demigods with their bathing suit under their camp-issued orange shirts and towels in a bag. Sitting comfortably on the soft grass, you wrote down everything Annabeth had told you the day prior, trying your best to remember her words.

“His age or a little younger, likes fighting.. stubborn, a little crazy… a girl..” you mumbled to yourself, writing it all in the bright pink ink you adored.

“Hey, Y/n! You coming to the lake with us ? Clarisse says the water is extra warm!” Chris invited, walking close to you as he got out of his cabin, a tube of sunscreen in hand. As he got closer, his eyes tried to look at the notepad before you hurriedly closed it. “What you doing ?”

“Hey- oh uh, nothing just… drawing.”

“You draw ? Since when ?” the boy continued, confused. He had known you for years now, he didn’t remember seeing you draw, you just weren’t really artsy.

“Well, since today, that’s the thing. So I’d prefer you don’t see my drawings okay ? I don’t…yeah.”

“Oh yeah, sure, I get it, totally.” Chris replied, shaking his head slowly. “Do you want to come with us to Canoe Lake though ? Clarisse and Silena are already there, and some others should be joining soon.”

The idea sounded tempting, but you were getting more and more curious as time passed, and wouldn’t want to delay you little investigation, even for hot, clean, translucent lake water. “Nah, man, sorry I’ll have to pass on that one. Maybe another day though ?”

“Yeah, sure, have a nice…drawing ~”

Chris waved before walking away, leaving you to your own mind again. You scanned over your now open notepad, trying to mentally swipe over all the people that matched the description, and writing the names down. And the names took a whole page, with a title on top of it saying “Castellan, who tf do you like (you have really generic tastes)”.

“Okay, now let’s reread it..”

‘Already dated her… they talked a while but it didn’t last.. oh maybe- no, right, already dated…’ you thought to yourself, trying to ignore the fact you had so little entertainment in life that you relied on Luke to bring the events with his misleadingly numerous relationships rumors.

After a while of crossing names out, mumbling to yourself in the shadow provided by the tall tree you were hiding under, you decided just theorizing wasn’t enough, you had to see the chemistry first hand to find the missing piece needed to unveil the answer.

So you got up, dusting the grass and dried weeds off your clothes before lightly walking towards the training ground. It felt like the boy spent most of his time there, surrounded by a swarm of little flies he did his best to keep around as he fought with all his might every time they were looking. One of your worst fear was probably to become one of said flies.

You had aimed right as you came around the training area, hearing loud cheering from a group of other girls sitting next to the wooden swords rack, Aphrodite and Apollo daughters, among others, hand in hand to cheer on their number one boy who made his personal crowd roar with a look its way.

You took a seat not too far, under a tree again, well aware that the 11am sun would burn your sensitive skin if you stayed under its rays too long, resting your back against the trunk and trying to examine the scene unfolding in front of your eyes. Luke was fighting with a boy from the Ares Cabin, his name was… Lyle ? He had been at camp for a year or so, not too bad of a fighter of course, but…

The group on the side started to loudly cheer and applause as the curly haired boy tackled his opponent to the ground, the tip of his sword right under his chin in a perfect warrior stance, and even you couldn’t help your gaze from softening in awe : you’d seen him fight and win so many times before, at training, capture the flag, all of those, but there was just something so mesmerizing in the energy he’d put in each combat and the determination in his eyes as he’d let his sword slash through the air.

From your own space, you tried to study all interactions, hoping to get anything that’d help shorten your still very long list of names: who Luke shot his flirty look too, who he’d grace with a word from his lips or a smile, as fake and empty as it may be. But you were totally taken aback when, upon barely waving at the magnificent Drew Tanaka that batted her long lashes at him, the boy started walking right your way, a smirk dancing on his lips.

“Y/n, hey ~” he simply started, stopping a couple feet in front of you as you still sat on the dry grass. “What are you doing here ? I figured you’d be at the lake with the others.”

“And I figured you’d be with the others.” you quickly answered, trying to close your notepad as casually and discreetly as possible.

“Yet here you are, staring at me from afar. Who would’ve thought.”

“Yet here you are, speaking to me like this isn’t the most words we’ve ever exchanged when no friends surround us. Who would’ve thought ~” you replied, an angelic smile playing on your her lips in response.

Luke’s smile only stretched more. “Ladies and gentleman, she fights back!” he exclaimed with a laugh, talking to his imaginary crowd before crossing his arms over his chest, flexing the muscles involuntarily like it didn’t have you melting to a puddle right there in front of him. “No but seriously, what are you doing here ? Wanna spare a little ?”

“With you ? To lose with not a single hope to ever win ? No thanks, I’m g-”

“What’s this ?” the boy cut through you sentence, crouching in a second to snatch the notepad that still sat on your crossed legs, flipping through the first pages. “Waw, your commitment to living in pink is insane, hard to believe you’re not a daughter of Aphrodite sometimes.”

You heard him mutter something you couldn’t make out but brushed it off, immediately trying to catch the pages from his hands, only to fall forward on your knees as he got up and took a step back quickly. “Give me the notepad, Castellan!”

“Oh wait- That’s your special pancake recipe? I guess the peanuts really add something huh ?”

“My notepad!”

Definitely not wanting to chase after the child he was acting like, you simply used her telekinesis, the only control you had over your still weak magic granted by your goddess of a mother, sending the notepad flying from Luke’s hands right into yours. You immediately ripped the list from the little book, folding it messily and putting it in your jorts’ back-pocket. “You never act as an adult, do you ?”

“Nahhh, I still have one year of being a teenager, and I sure as Hells will make the best of it.” he said, turning around going back to you in long strides with a pout on his lips.

You rolled your eyes, turning around in direction of the Cabin Area and away from him, though you could hear him try to keep up and a small smile crept up your lips. But the smile turned upside down as the boy almost ran in front of you, raising the paper high so you could see it in his hands while he read. Your eyes widened significantly, patting your back-pockets frantically and realizing he had just swiftly took the page from you, but before you could properly react, he crumpled the paper in a ball and tossed it in his back, colliding with your head.

“You forgot the right name on that list, dumbass.” Luke started, walking away and throwing his hand up in a two-fingered peace sign. “G’luck, moonbeam ~”

After a couple seconds of standing still, dumbfounded, you roared. “Castellan! Come back here!” But the boy only let out a laugh before sprinting away, escaping your reach quickly as you were left panting, laying your back on a Cabin. “When I catch you, Luke…”

Your cheeks were heated now, probably from the running, or that’s what you told yourself, because you couldn’t help but hear it echoing in your ears. ‘Moonbeam… What the actual fuck, Castellan?’ And here you were, back to first ground, trying to convince yourself you could keep your feelings in check.

__ Her type __

The sun had been up for a while now, and Chris was doing his best to get Luke to come out of bed, but nothing would make him budge : every time the guy woke him up, the brunette would only groan, grip his pillow tighter and turn around, immediately going back to sleep.

“Dude, you’re gonna make us miss breakfast.” Chris pressed, whisper-yelling to try and avoid being too harsh, but he was slowly loosing patience.

“Shut up, ‘wanna finish my dream, go eat by yourself…” the other boy mumbled against his sheets, shuffling to get comfortable again.

But it was enough. Chris went to pick up clothes from Luke’s stuff, before throwing them right in his face. “Get out of bed right now, or I’m dunking a bucket of ice cold water on your body.” he deadpanned, and the counselor shot straight out of bed, putting a shirt on and nearly jumping in his pants.

“Ok I’m ready.”

The whole way to the Dining Pavilion, Luke was like a broken record on the verge of getting strangled by his best friend. Birds were chirping in the early morning, chatter noises were coming from further down the path and the sun already felt warm on his skin, but his mind could only think of one thing.

“Man, I can’t believe you just cut me through the best dream ever…”

“Yeah? And what was it about for you to be all whiny about it ?” Chris queried, starting to gain a forced curiosity from his best friend’s rambling.

“Uh… I...don’t remember?” The brunette said, trying to sound convincing and natural, looking straight in front of him, but the slightly unsure tone in his voice betrayed him.

Which caused a fit of laughter from his friend. “Oh-oh, man, were you seriously having a we-”

“No! No of course not! Why would you think that-”

“Yeah, sure, then about what, huh ? Because you seem very guilty of… Man, tell me you didn’t have… a romantic dream?” Chris’ smile only grew more teasing when the other boy’s face visibly heated up, not uttering a word. He put an arm around the flustered boy’s shoulders dramatically. “Well look at that, little Luke Castellan finally growing out of his heartless era ? I thought I wouldn’t live long enough to see it.”

“Awh shut up, bro…” he muttered, tearing his friend off him. “It’s not even that big of a deal…”

“Not that big of a deal? Nah, Luke, be for real. I’ve rarely seen you as… disinterested before. Like- you just wave people away instead of throwing the biggest narcissistic dickhead smile their way. And I mean it in all friendship-ness.”

“Yeah, of course you do, you little-”

“Hey, I have you seen her today? She’s so…”

Both Hermes sons turned their head in direction of a loud voice just a few feet behind them, seeing two guys from the Aphrodite Cabin walk closely behind them, deep in a conversation too.

“Who again ? Oh right, Silena’s friend. That witch girl with the…weird aura.”

Luke frowned. ‘What the hell are they talking about?’

“Yeah, gods, she just has that bod, bro… I mean, I wouldn’t even mind dating her if it means I can get her to give me some of that magic.” one of the two guys said, ending with a proud laugh, full of himself as the other joined. “Plus, I swear, she always wears those short tops and skirts, man, she’s basically asking for it at that point.”

Luke’s fists tightened as he understood who the subject of the conversation was, brows furrowing at the guy’s words, yet he knew he was in no place to say anything. Because he was one of those guys who didn’t give a crap about morals or feelings, one of those who knew the trouble they caused and played along.

He enjoyed it, the attention, having girls fawn over a practiced look, people naturally coming to him because he just had this kind of presence. But now, trying to distance himself from this persona of his, maybe he realized just how awful he might have sounded.

‘You weakling, questioning yourself because of a girl? Dumbass.’ Luke thought to himself, tousling his hair in frustration as he finally entered the dining area. Barely a few months ago, he never would’ve imagined being this kind of guy, the guy who tries to slow down his everyday life to become whatever a girl could like. But again, he knew in himself it wasn’t just any girl, because just any girl wouldn’t haunt his nights so good he’d rather sleep than do anything else.

You were… this whole deal to him: one of the most precious things he could wish to ever see, and still the one thing he rejected all he could. Because part of him was screaming that this was not the kind of guy he was, screaming that settling down at this point in life just wasn’t for him. But over time, the idea just couldn’t stop seeping into his mind, and again, you were just so…

He had first met you when he came back from his failed quest, not at his best in any possible way, when you had barely started your new life, and he just saw a part of himself in you, mirroring this feeling of being…lost. And maybe, just maybe, back then, he lacked the courage to go talk to you when he should have. But years went by, you barely interacted except for extended group hangouts and gatherings, and he forgot along the way. Yet for some reason, you had found a way back in his mind out of nowhere, like a magic so strong even you, daughter of Hecate, couldn’t conjure. It was like meeting you all over again, that one day he saw you out late at the edge of the forest, laying in the grass and watching the moon glow. He started noticing you around more after that, maybe just paying attention more, his eyes drawn to your figure in the crowds, his ears searching for the sound of you voice as you roared and fought on the training grounds during the day.

And after months of going against himself, of denying how he knew deep down he felt, he stopped fighting the feeling. And apparently, everyone around him had noticed and couldn’t stop bothering him with unpleasant questions about why, oh why, he was loosing what they called his ‘player mojo’. But he dismissed it every time, not needing anyone in his business when even him wasn’t able to take care of it.

Luke was playing with a few other guys, on their way to the training grounds while passing a ball between them all, either tossing it gently to the next or full on throwing it over their head. It was more of the second for Luke as Connor threw the ball in his direction, it landing way out of track, near the forest’s edge.

“Man, come on!”

“Hey, you could’ve tried to jump and catch it.” Travis replied with a laugh, elbowing his twin playfully.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever…”

Luke wandered off the path, walking behind a row of bushes and crouching down to retrieve the ball that had rolled into them.

“…know, he’s cute, and he’s tall and stuff, but it’s such a pain to have a crush on a boy, you get me ?”

Wait, was that… you ? Luke raised his head over the bushes, forgetting all about the ball for an instant as all he registered was the voice that made his ears perk up every time he heard it. ‘What- what’s she talking about ?’ He searched for the origins of the voices for a second, before his eyes fell on a small picnic table and four girls gathered around it, some playing cards and two others just talking.

“You do know.”

“Ok yeah, I do know. It’s just- He’s so infuriating!”

Luke shifted absentmindedly as he got curious about the conversation for some reason, words echoing in his mind. ‘She likes someone ?’ But as he moved his hand, his fingers slipped over the smooth surface of the ball he hadn’t realized was there, stumbling forward into the leaves of the bush. At least the branches hadn’t scratched his skin.

He heard the girl pause for a second, probably noticing the sudden ruffle in the bushes, and he made sure to duck down as much as possible, before realizing how stupid this could’ve looked : why the Hells would he ever try this much not to be discovered over just a simple conversation between friends of his. But deep down, his mind had his answer: he needed to know more.

“-ot even like he seems to have a type, like- bro just picks up another girl at a party, they chat or a few days and sometimes she just disappears from around him like their link never existed. What a fucking jerk…”

Who was that guy? Because Luke was really starting to think that you hated your crush more than you liked him, seeing how harsh your words sounded spoken with this tone of hers. But really, what kind of jerk would that be, going around and making head spins like and leaving like it was nothing? Talk about playboy move… Who was it, really? No name had been spoken, barely a physical description… The brunette was already trying to go through all people he knew at camp that might fit the description, but-

“Luke, what the fuck are you doing ? We’ve been waiting for you forever..”

Luke snapped back to reality as Travis came up to him, his look questioning.

“Oh yeah, shoot, sorry. I couldn’t find the ball and then I just, tripped on my own leg. And here I am.” he replied, but his friend only looked at him more confused.

“Ok, whatever. Let’s just go back okay ? Because today is the day I beat your ass!”

“You wish you ever could ~”

They walked back to the rest of the small group, resuming the tossing with not much further question, before Luke spoke up.

“How much do you guys know about Y/n?”

There was a short silence, Chris keeping the ball tight between his hands as they all came to a stop, and Charles spoke first the words everyone thought.

“No fucking way. Y/n ? As in our cabin’s Y/n ? As in daughter of Hecate Y/n ?”

“Uh… Yeah? Are there other Y/n…?” Luke simply answered, not quite understanding the shock that covered his friends’ faces.

“There was another one a year ago. One you dated, by the way, you jock.” Chris threw back with a smirk. “But damn, little Y/n huh ?”

Luke mentally face palmed at the first statement. “I don’t know if I’d say little considering she’s older than you but uh- why are you so…”he started, gesturing to the surprised faces in front of him, “-expressive, all of you ? I mean, I just asked how well you knew her, I think..?”

Connor slapped his brother’s shoulder with a grin on his face and a mischievous look in his eyes. “Told ya it wasn’t an Aphrodite girl, bro!”

“Yeah, yeah, so much fuss over so little…” the other twin groaned.

As the other guys exchanged knowing looks and laughs, Luke was just standing there, confused about the whole situation. “What is happening, exactly ? I’m starting to feel a little excluded here.”

It was Charles that spoke up again. “We just can’t believe you finally admitted who you’ve been liking so much that you got off the market, bro.” The boy came closer, putting his arm over Luke’s shoulders and squeezing his arm playfully. “So, her, huh ? I mean, yeah i get it, she’s kinda-”

“Don’t finish that sentence or you’ll have to build yourself a new tongue.”

The others erupted in laughter at Luke’s threat, patting him on the back as the brunette held his face down in embarrassment, because it probably was the first time his friends could tease him on the subject, and they were catching up on all the missed opportunities.

“Would you look at that? Luke so into a girl he looses his mojo, who would’ve thought ~”

“You know what, guys ? He even stays in bed an skips breakfast just so he can dream about her for lo-” Chris started, his friend quickly shutting him up with a hand over his mouth, a reaction that only caused more laughter.

“Oh shut the fuck up!”

They were almost to the training grounds, the teasing had died down just a little bit, when Luke asked his first question again, this time the others only throwing amused looks before answering.

“Hmmm I don’t really talk to her much, y’know? I just see her around from time to time. Isn’t she lesbian though ?”

“Wha- No!” the brunette replied instantly, somewhat offended. “I’m not that stupid, thank you. At least from what I heard, she’s into a boy, so-”

“Oh so she’s into someone already ? Who ?” Chris chimed in from behind his back.

“I don’t know, I didn’t heard any name, just some tall dude that sounds like a total jerk…” Luke mumbled.

“Sounds like you to me.”

“Get back here you little-” He said, turning around to try and catch a running Chris shielding himself behind Connor. “I don’t even know why I’m asking you all, it’s not like you have anything interesting to say anyway.. Let’s just get to practice, I’m getting frustrated with all of this.” Luke continued in mock bitterness, sending them an amused smile.

Travis bolted in direction of the training grounds just ahead of them. “Race ya!”

“Morning, bro.” Chris greeted with a quick fist bump. “You doing something this morning?”

“Hmmm I got a practice this morning, and a short teaching session for some newcomers. Why ?” his friend answered, putting on his orange t-shirt.

“Ah sheep, I was gonna tell you some of us were planning on spending the morning at the lake, they say the water is particularly warm this morning. And I thought you could’ve asked you-know-who to come too, to…y’know...”

“Ha ha, you’re so fun Chris, but I’m not gonna ditch helpless kids, sorry. Also, since when do actually you censor yourself ?” Luke asked, weirded out by this change in character as he put his shoes back on.

“Well, I too am on a path to redemption, at my own level.”

The brunette let out a scoff. “Yeah, sure. See ya.”

Luke spent the next few hours on the training grounds, slashing at practice dummies in wood and straw with his dominant arm, trying to reproduce the same moves with the other and building his technique like he did almost everyday. He found a sparring partner in a younger boy, Lyle, son of Ares and at camp since barely a year but who’s blood made him a worthy opponent. Maybe not worthy enough to take Luke’s title as camp’s best swordsman nonetheless.

The Ares boy relied on brute force against the other fighter, who knew exactly how to use it against him, nimbly sliding in his back an hitting the back of his knees when Lyle lunged forward, too late to reach Luke. Falling on his knees, the brunette was quick to go back in front of him, pointing the tip of his sword right under his chin, declaring his undisputed victory while he could hear a loud clamor of shouts and applause roaring in his back. Luke extended his hand for his partner to take, offering to help him up.

“Oh shoot, who’s this ?” Lyle said in a hushed tone, speaking to Luke while he looked behind his shoulder. The curly haired boy followed his gaze, confused, before his eyes fell on your figure. You were under a tree, looking away from him and towards the small crowd on his side, the light filtering through the leaves and hitting your face like a perfect halo, enhancing your features in a way that looked surreal. “She’s ho-”

Luke instantly let go of his hand, letting the Ares boy fall back to the ground and looking down at him while he groaned in discomfort. “Yeah no, forget about her, pretty boy. She’s way out of your league.”

The blond scoffed at the advice. “And what, she’s in yours ?”

“Yeah, nice joke, Lyle, like I could ever try to compare..”

Turning his back on Lyle, Luke went towards the small wooden bench, going to dab himself with a small towel and drinking down almost all the content in his water bottle. Resting for just a second, head hanging low and elbows on his thighs, he raised his gaze just enough so he could see you, still under that tree that shielded your skin from the angry rays of the summer sun, writing away on a small black notepad. What could you be doing, ther-

“Hey ~”

Luke snapped his head up, seeing Drew standing just a few feet from him, fluttering her long lashes his way. He thought he could decipher her intentions, but if it would’ve worked just a few weeks ago, now he didn’t have any interest in whatever she could try to talk him into. So he lifted himself off the bench, barely sparring her a glance.

“Hey.” he dryly said, paired with a small wave, before starting to walk towards the tree, and more precisely the girl seated right under it. This time when he spoke up, his tone was warm, light-hearted when he said,

“Y/n, hey ~”

Luke almost jogged the last few meters, wanting to close the distance between you two quickly, before stopping a few feet away. After somewhat coming to terms with what he felt, it was almost a little weird to be close to you like that : the small fluttering in his stomach, his heart rate quickening, the warmth that was spreading through his body and plastered a smile on his face ; they were all signs so foreign to him.

“What are you doing here ? I figured you’d be at the lake with the others.”

“And I figured you’d be with the others.” you replied quickly, and from the corner of his eyes, he could see you close the notepad discreetly, your fingers seeming somewhat trembling over the cover as you nervously played with a pink pen with the other hand.

“Yet here you are, staring at me from afar. Who would’ve thought.” Luke’s eyes slightly narrowed as he joked back, subtly testing the waters to see how willing you might be to keep the conversation going, given how rarely you talked in settings like this, just the two of you.

“Yet here you are, speaking to me like this isn’t the most words we’ve ever exchanged when no friends surround us. Who would’ve thought ~” you said, and your smile, as sarcastic as it must’ve been, had Luke’s legs feel like jello all of a sudden.

His grin only widened, corners flipped up and almost displaying his pearly teeth before exclaiming, “Ladies and gentleman, she fights back!”, a laugh accompanying his statement as he threw his arms in the air theatrically. A little chuckle escaped your lips, one he could only choose to take as an invitation to more conversation, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “No but seriously, what are you doing here ? Wanna spare a little ?” he continued with a more cheeky expression.

You cocked an eyebrow up, as if you were the utmost offended by the proposition, both pointer fingers coming to point at the boy in front of you. “With you ? To lose with not a single hope to ever win ? No thanks, I’m g-”

Luke took advantage of your little loss of focus to crouch down to your level and snatch the notepad from your lap, your face instantly displaying shock and.. a little look of mortification. “What’s this ? Waw, your commitment to living in pink is insane, hard to believe you’re not a daughter of Aphrodite sometimes.” he added with a little laugh as he skipped through the pages, seeing the pink scribbles and doodles adorning the pages in multiple shades. “One of the things that make me believe you are..” he mumbled, his eyes widening a little when he realized he’d said it out-loud, but you probably hadn’t heard or understood it as you didn’t bring it up.

He stood up and took a step back just before you lunged his way to reach for your belonging. “Give me the notepad, Castellan!”

But he was having too much fun, teasing you a way he wouldn’t usually try to, flipping through the pages while walking away and seeing you glowering at him in a mix of exasperation and indignation. But it was his time to be surprised when the notepad flew from his hands back to yours. ‘Right, Hecate’s kid, always so full of surprises…’

“You never act as an adult, do you ?” you asked rhetorically and Luke turned around, walking back to you with a pouty smile dancing on his mouth, seeing you slip a small piece of paper in the back-pocket of your bottoms.

“Nahhh, I still have one year of being a teenager, and I sure as Hells will make the best of it.” Luke only replied with a proud expression, faking a small bow and he couldn’t hold in a chuckle as he saw you roll your eyes. But as you started walking away, he caught up to you discreetly, nimbly getting the paper sticking out of your back-pocket before he rushed past you, starting to read the page while holding it up in the air for you to see.

But his mischievous smile faltered slightly when he read the content of the paper : “Castellan, who tf do you like (you have really generic tastes)”.

First pang to the heart, he did not have generic taste, unless you considered a witty, sweet, hard-headed, mesmerizing and all-roundly skilled demi-goddess to be generic. Second pang to the heart, all the names listed down, some crossed out, some circled to stand out… was this how you saw him ? They were all girls about his age, the removed names the ones of some he had a fling of some sort with, the names standing out being those of girls like Piper or Drew, the ones that caught most eyes at camp. But not his, not anymore, and he couldn’t see the one right name anywhere on the paper.

So he crumpled the small sheet, tossing it behind him and almost bursting out in laughter as he heard a small ‘ouch’ behind him, probably hitting you right in the face. “You forgot the right name on that list, dumbass.” Luke started, doing a peace gesture above his shoulder. “G’luck, moonbeam ~” he only said, the nickname rolling off his tongue like he’d used it all his life.

And as he heard you yell behind him, the boy quickly turned towards the cabins, hiding on the side of the Athena one. He finally let out the nervous laugh he was holding, relaxing against the cabin and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the unlikeliness of the situation. He, Luke Castellan, liked a girl he didn’t even talk to on a daily basis, with whom he was barely friends if not for their mutual ones, and that probably considered him the most obnoxious jock she knew. And just a few weeks ago, you would’ve been right to see him as such, but now that he was trying to redeem himself, a little for himself and a little for you too, he was catching you almost investigating his nonexistent love life, while putting aside any possibility of you being in the equation. How was he supposed to interpret all that ? The Gods’ design was indeed one you couldn’t predict.

“What are you laughing at like a manic ?”

The boy almost jumped in surprise, Annabeth appearing just like magic next to him, before letting out a loud exhale. “Wow, hello to you too…” he replied, dismissive.

But she appeared totally unfazed, crossing her arms over her chest in a knowing stance, like she could read all over his face what was going on in his mind when even him had a hard time deciphering his thoughts. “What’s so funny I can hear you laughing from inside the cabin? I swear it better be worth stopping me from my reading.”

“I- nothing’s funny, I’m just.. trying out laugh therapy, you know ? Stress reliever and all…” His words and his wonky smile only earned him a raised eyebrow from the younger. “Okay, what? What do you want me to say ?”

“The truth, that’d actually be pretty great.”

“The truth ? Well the truth is… I don’t even know. I told you about… you-know-who, right ?”

“Extensively, yeah.”

Luke marked a pause before continuing, throwing Annabeth an annoyed glare she chose to ignore, for his sake. “Well, I don’t know how and why, but apparently she heard that I… was interested in someone..”

“Understatement of the century.”

He did a short pause again, marking his growing frustration known. “Anyways, the problem is that now she’s literally playing Sherlock Holmes on me, Annabeth. And she’s gonna find out at some point, you know how smart she is. And then I’ll be the idiot who, out of all his very broad possibilities, likes a girl who doesn’t like him back.” As he spoke, he took his head in his hands, massaging his temples: the mere idea of this situation happening was giving him a headache, and for too much reasons.

“Ok, so, that’s very narcissistic-”

“Or does she like me? Is that why she’s writing a list? Maybe that’s the reason, yeah.. Maybe she’s trying to figure out if she has a shot.. But then why would she talk about this other guy, it doesn’t make sense-” Head low, deep in thought, Luke saw from the corner of his eyes the girl’s foot tapping on the ground, sign of her growing boredom, and he stopped his unintelligible muttering. “Annabeth do you know anything? I mean, you guys are like, really close friends, right? She talks to you about those stuff, you must know something.”

The girl scoffed, throwing her long braids over her shoulder with sass before looking up straight into Luke’s eyes, challenging him with a single gaze. “I know that you better shut up before I put my cap on and literally disappear from this conversation.” she started, getting her blue cap from her jeans’ back-pocket, dangling it around to show him how serious her threat was. “I also know that even if I knew something, I wouldn’t tell you, because seeing you struggling and at a girl’s beck and call is the gift the gods offered me, today.”

The curly head opened his mouth in disbelief, closing it as he tried to find his words. “Traitor.”

She exaggerated his reaction, openly making fun of Luke, hand hovering over her mouth in mock shock. “But but but- Desperate puppy.” she then deadpanned.

“You’re disloyal.”

“You’re stupid. Bye ~” The girl quickly waved at him, the biggest smile etched on her face, before popping her cap on and disappearing into thin air.

__ His type __

For someone who craved a day just a tad bit more eventful than the usual, now that it unfolded in front of your eyes, you just found it weird, because things just felt…off.

Maybe it was the strong heat that waved over camp since the day before, but you were finding yourself almost unable to sleep, tossing and turning, your thoughts eventually wandering to the same question: who does Luke like? And you didn’t understand why you were suddenly so obsessed with it: were you that bored of your everyday life? or… No, you were over that silly crush, you had come to terms with how it’d inevitably end, so you were obviously just bored and intrigued. But as you thought about it a couple nights in a row, you swore there was a little voice screaming at your inner monologue, something you couldn’t quite decipher.

Maybe it was the heat getting to your head, but Annabeth seemed… on edge? Or maybe more mischievous than usual? She whispered with Percy when you passed by, which you clearly noticed after it happened ‘randomly’ more than half a dozen times, but you couldn’t make out any word, and it only made you more curious: why was she throwing you those side glances? What was happening?

Maybe it was your eyes playing tricks, but you could’ve sworn Luke was avoiding you. But the weirdest was that he was also completely not. Because, would it be out on the training grounds or inside the forever packed Hermes Cabin, you sometimes caught him speaking with your siblings, and by the time you got close enough to try and eavesdrop, he’d catch sight of you and flee in a hurry, and you could barely hear a faint ‘Don’t tell’ before he was gone. Sometimes, you’d go to your half-brother, who’d just answer with a small shrug and an ‘I don’t know, he just had a random question’ before throwing you a confused look and dismissing the subject. And at the same time, Luke talked to you way more than usual, it felt completely out of the ordinary: if he was not in an avoidance mood, he’d at least say hi when he was passing by, sometimes even going out of his path to just greet you, asking how you were and biding you a good day before going back to his business.

The problem was now the raging conflict inside of you, parts of yourself knowing it was just friendly, because what else could it be, and parts of yourself gaining too much hope from it, like the situation had changed and your feelings could freely full-power-resurface. But as much as you could usually be in control of your emotions, now the chaos tended to peak out, and you’d have to try not to blush like a 13 years old. Like right now.

You were simply sat at a table outside in a pretty empty area near some strawberry fields, tapping the blunt side of your pink pen against your lower lip, slightly nipping at the cap or drumming your fingers on the length of it, eyes trained to the new list in your notepad —the old one to crumpled and written on to use. But as you racked your brain for something else, you just couldn’t find it, anybody else who could make the list, you didn’t remember who you could’ve forgotten-

“Moonbeam, hey!”

You snapped your head up as you heard someone yell the unique nickname from further, coming from the cabins area towards you, and saw a head of messy curls waving their arm high up before lightly jogging your way. And as much as the more rational part of you tried to scream inside your head, you couldn’t contain a light blush : the faint idea of the boy you hopelessly liked ever running to you, a beaming smile adorning his face, was enough to make your face burn, so to see your daydreaming fantasy happening- you felt lightheaded, weak in the knees, like melting in a puddle.

__ Her type __

The last few days had been unusual for Luke, but not in the worst of ways, he just made everything he could to get used to it, because, as different from his usual self as it was, he felt like he was just in sync with himself and what he actually wanted.

But the problem was that he quickly realized that what he wanted, others wanted too.

“Hey, Cam, wait up!”

Luke jogged to the boy, after just finishing a training session he lead. He wasn’t specifically close to him, having just talked here and there since they were in the same cabin, but he knew him to be a son of Hecate, one of your half-brothers.

“Oh, hi Luke, how you doing ?” Cameron answered after turning around towards the voice, quickly fist bumping the other guy when he came closer.

“Good, I’m fine. I just had a quick question-”

“Sure, shoot.”

“I…” Luke was having a little trouble finding the right sentence, not wanting to appear as completely soft as he had gone, trying to make his intentions a little discreet, but struggling to find words. “How well would you say you know Y/n ?” Let’s just say he mentally face palmed at his words.

Cameron stifled a laugh. “Dude we’re like barely over half a dozen siblings, I would say I know her pretty well. Why ?” He marked a small pause, before saying, “You know your ears are like, bright red, right ?”

“I- no. Shut up.”

“Mmmmh, you’re very convincing.”

“Please don’t tell anyone about anything you might think you know from this conversation. Which won’t be true.” It only earned him a loud fit of laughter from the boy in front of him. “Okay whatever- Do you happen to know.. if she might like someone ? Or maybe her type ? Anything about… this field of information ?”

Cameron tried to contain his amusement, seeing the usual confident and smug Luke being so… caught up in his feels. “Nah man, sorry, I don’t know anything. I mean, I did overhear her talking about some dude but it was like, 3 months ago, easy, so not sure.”

“Really? Nothing else you might have he-” Luke cut himself short when catching the annoyed cocked brow facing him. “Yeah, okay, thanks..”

“No problem, but man, between us: I don’t think you’re the only one after her, might wanna hurry.” Cameron replied with a knowing smirk, before waving to someone behind him. “She’s coming this way, just saying.”

“Wha- who- Shit.” The boy slightly panicked, hearing your voice greeting them both, and his legs grew a mind of their own, fleeing the scene before you reached his side and turning a corner to go back to his cabin.

But as he took his post-training shower, Luke couldn’t help but wonder: what should he do? Did he even have a chance? Because, let’s face it, you two had never been more than acquaintances for years, meeting here and there by coincidence because you were following friends, and the idea that you might’ve grown the same feelings in this context was an unreachable fantasy. One he shouldn’t bring himself to hope for, even more now that he realized he might not be the only one wanting to be the one in your thoughts like you wee in his.

And yet…

There was still this spark inside of him, one that made him want to bang his head on the wall of the small shower cubicle from how stupid it made him feel. Because he knew, deep inside, he hoped that he wasn’t the only one who had taken notice so late.

So it’s in the shower, under the cold running water, that he decided that there would be no more mourning what wouldn’t happen, but rather steps in the good direction, your direction: he’d do anything if it could mean a reciprocated spark.

And Luke was a man of his words. To a certain extent. If he quickly left, tail between his legs, each time you approached close enough to hear him talking about you, asking away to anyone you knew who had their chances with you, he stood his own ground when he was the one to instigate the interaction. He greeted you each chance he’d get, going out of his way to have the most trivial conversation about whatever book you were reading he didn’t know a thing about, wishing you a good day out of nowhere or removing a speck of pollen flying in your hair while you talked to him. And his friends teasing him about it was worth any word that would pass your lips for him to hear or the blush that dusted your cheeks when his fingers brushed your skin in the lightest touch.

The brunette parted from his friends, excusing himself for what he had called ‘needed personal time after being too much with you jocks’, and they had inevitably cooed at him, telling him to spend a delightful afternoon in a certain girl’s company. And if his eyes rolled to Mount Olympus back, he couldn’t think of a clever comeback as they were totally right.

He quickly spotted you, sitting not far from the strawberry fields, the smell wafting to his nose — and yet he couldn’t help but compare it to the smell of your hair that filled him every time he passed you by —, and being who he was, he couldn’t help but yell your name from across the clearing, waving his arm in the air as he ran your way.

“Moonbeam, hey!”

Luke couldn’t help the smile that crept up his face as he came closer, seeing a fresh piece of paper covered in pink ink in front of you just before you turned the notepad facing down.

“Well, you’re that much interested, huh ?”

“I- No, I’m just bored, and-”

“And I’m so interesting you couldn’t help but do a deep dive on me ?” Luke cut you off, raising an eyebrow in the most smug demeanor you could witness, a smirk tugging at his lips;

You sighed deeply, shaking your head. “And I had so little idea of what to do that I had to take the last thing left in my mind.”

“So I'm on your mind ?”

He knew it was silly, he knew it wasn’t based on anything real, but the flicker of hope was glimmering in his chest. Flirting was second nature to him and, as arrogant as it may sound, he usually didn’t have much response on the other side other than fluttering eyelashes and shy smiles, so he enjoyed this little game. Like a cat and mouse game where you were both battling to be the cat.

��Do you know you’re actually insufferable? Just making sure you’re aware.”

“I think the word you were looking for is charming but it’s alright, we’re all dyslexic around here.”

“That’s not even- whatever.” And right after you rolled your eyes in annoyance, but Luke saw a sparkle light up in them the same instant. “By the way, call me Sherlock, I found it.”

The boy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he couldn’t help but throw in a joke to keep the light mood going. “Are you high on strawberry leaves ? What do you mean ?”

“I- unbelievable.” you huffed out, cheeks dusting in pink from confusion-fueled embarrassment. “I mean I know who ‘the fuck’ you like.” you stated, mimicking quotes with your fingers to reference the title of your list. And boy did his face fall.

You didn’t miss the flicker of annoyance that crossed his face, startling you a little: that little twitch on his face with the slight tilt of his head, an expression you’d always found pretty amusing and almost endearing, now seeing it directed your way… it was intimidating. What could’ve caused him to react like that ?

Little did you know, on his end, it wasn’t annoyance, only masked apprehension, fearful apprehension.

Your guts started to twist before Luke’s face relaxed again, and you took in a deep breath.

“Okay, shoot then, I guess…” the boy replied, awkwardly scratching his nape, and you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes seemed to search yours.

You let a moment of silence pass between the two of you, before scrunching your nose with a smile. “Nah, I lied. But I’m close though, I’m sure!”

There was an awkward instant where he didn’t answer anything, and you thought your enthusiasm might’ve weirded him out, but his face broke in laughter the next, nearly bending in half as you stood there, unable to tell if you should laugh with him or be utterly mortified.

“Wow, Moonbeam… You’re another breed alright!” he exclaimed, simply unable to stop laughing at your reaction, and you swore you could see a glint of something more behind his fluttering lashes. “You really wanna know, don’t you…”

“Well I- I told you, I’m bored and easily entertained…” you replied, red growing on your cheeks as you crossed your arms over your chest in defense.

“That’s really contradictory, moonbeam.”

“I- shut up, I’m tired.” Again with that stupid nickname, so stupid it sent butterflies flying in your stomach —stupid blood capillaries.

Luke only rolled his eyes in response, getting closer to you and going around the table to take a seat in front of you, swiftly snatching the notepad from your loosened grasp.

“Hey-”

“Wow, you’re really off. Guess you’re not as close as you think.” Luke couldn’t help but tease, and you threw him a glare, a mix of frustration, indignation and… maybe even a tinge of desperation. Curiosity might’ve gotten the best of you by now.

“Yeah well, who would’ve thought camp’s perfect jock would actually be hard to understand…” You rolled your eyes, tearing your gaze from his figure as you gave up on trying to conceal the piece of paper.

“Wow, getting the claws out now, are we ?” The boy only spurred you on, loving the feeling of warmth pooling in him each time you looked at him with those fiery eyes he couldn’t believe he’d noticed so late.

“You’re a frustrating person, that’s all… But how am I wrong though ? I’m fully convinced I’ve thought of nearly everyone…” Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared down at you fidgeting fingers on the table, trying to grasp at anything you could’ve missed.

You couldn’t see it, but the way Luke’s gaze softened was noticeable for anyone that might’ve been around, his eyes almost screaming whatever was going through his head, and Annabeth would’ve smacked the back of his head if she’d seen him, from how much he annoyed her yet said nothing when he was so obvious.

“I mean, it’s impossible I haven’t put your crush’s name on the list at one point, she’s- Or are you bi?”

If he had been drinking, Luke would’ve spat his drink immediately, coughing up a laugh at your question, unable to hide the disbelief that displayed on his face. “W-what ?”

“Yeah nah okay… Or worse, are you into… a minor?”

His laugh only doubled at your statement, properly unable to hold it in as he saw the faux horrified look grow on your face. “Dear gods no! You might not believe me when I say it, but I do still have some morals.” It took him some time to calm down, a tear threatening to fall from his eye from the amusement you brought along with your bluntness. He stopped you before you could say anything more scandalous. “You know what, just hand me your pen.”

You gave him the pen promptly, your hand reacting before you registered the question and you looked at Luke, confused as to what he’d- no way.

On the other side of the table. Luke’s head was ringing, convinced he maybe should’ve thought twice before offering to solve her investigation, his hand shaking as he took the pen between his fingers, his heart hammering in his chest as he tried to think of how he could get out of the situation. But maybe it was just time, he just had to come clean, to stop the faint tugging in his chest when he saw you laugh with someone else; to stop the longing he felt when he looked at the moon out the window on sleepless nights, wondering if you were looking too when you weren’t sleeping in your bunk; to stop wondering if you’d ever catch the yearning in his eyes every time he talked to you, never wanting those moments to end.

And maybe to shut up his friends too, just maybe.

He had barely started scribbling before you laughed through the heavy tension as he let out a small ‘Fuck, forgot you actually write in pink’. But your laugh died sharply when he handed you the thin sheet of paper, your hands clutching it like it was your only thread of sanity left, eyes not leaving what he’d wrote. And he’d wrote your name.

“You’re kidding, right ?” you asked in a low whisper, eyes not straying from his messy handwriting decorating the bottom of the piece of paper, your brain almost shutting down on the spot as you read each letter, over and over again.

Luke took a deep breath in, trying to calm the pounding of the blood at his temples, his leg nervously stimming under the table. Why was it suddenly so hard to say words that used to naturally roll of his tongue like a practiced poem ? Why was it making him feel like you held his heart in your hand and could crush it with a few words ?

He let the breath out.

“Do you want to go out with me, moonbeam ?”

His heart rate picked up again —if it was even possible for a heart to beat so quickly— as he saw your expression only grow, eyes widening significantly, your lips parted without a single words going past them, looking so still he even doubt you were breathing. And he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t panicking him. Him, the one with not a single record of rejection, now fearing for his heart.

“I mean, I don’t want to force anything on you, of course, but… I need you to know, I now I’ve seemed like the most pretentious player, I’ve recently grown a little too aware of it. But I swear, I’m not like that anymore, or at least it’s not what I feel like I am anymore: I’m not here to toy with you, I’m not saying all this just to add a name to this, by the way, ridiculously long list of crossed out names.” Luke said it all in one breath, begrudgingly pointing at the list you clutched so hard it started to wrinkle at the edges, now feeling uneasy as he looked at it.

But what he found the weirdest in this instant was how he wasn’t feeling uneasy when sharing all of this, accepting his previous behavior and how it could’ve ever mislead you, trying to convince not with calculated sweet words but with honest thoughts, for once.

You finally look back at him, staring right in his brown eyes, brows furrowed like you were trying to gauge the trust you could put in his words, and the boy stopped you before you could speak up.

“No, please just- let me finish, I’ll be quick. I promise you, that guy you like? I can be better than him, better for you and better to you than he’d ever be, judging by how you des-”

“What guy ?” you asked, your brows only furrowing further in confusion.

Luke stopped in his tracks, seemingly taken aback by your question, while you looked at him expectantly, head tilted to the side. “Well, the guy you talked about with um…” he started hesitantly, not fond of admitting he had indeed been eavesdropping on you, “…Silena, Clarisse and Annabeth. The..tall jerk?”

“YOU SPIED ON M-” You cut yourself off, closing your eyes and breathing deeply, before shaking your head dismissively, as Luke looked down at his lap, a little guilty. “You know what, we’ll talk about that later. Luke ?” His head shot up to meet your gaze as he heard his name roll off your tongue, humming in response. “You’re the guy.”

Luke’s pupils blew wide at your deadpan, brows raised up and head brought forward like he couldn’t believe his ears. He stayed like that for a lingering second, processing every recollection he had of his eavesdropping to make sense of it all. He mouthed a ‘what’, before apparently snapping out of it. “I’m the tall jerk ?”

“You’re the tall jerk.” You tried to keep your voice steady, the realization of your own confession slowly seeping in your mind.

Chris was right, that little-

“So you like me ? There’s no other guy ?” he pressed, leaning over the table, all apprehension disappearing from his eyes to make room for the blooming sparks of hope, smile stretching over his lips he didn’t even bother to conceal.

Your could now clearly feel your cheeks burning up, the red hue probably visible over your complexion, eyes darting everywhere but the curly haired boy in front of you as you felt at loss for words. “There’s no- I mean, it’s.. I-”

You couldn’t help your eyes from trailing to his lips as you caught a movement, the tip of his tongue barely darting out and leaving his lips parted in a smile, looking so…

You had to break away as Luke swiftly moved off the table, unable to stop himself from smiling profusely after he’d caught your evident gaze, walking around to sit on the edge, right next to you.

He crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at you, before finally speaking up.

“Ok, scratch what I said earlier, that guy you talked about seems absolutely amazing. Real boyfriend material. I could never even dream of being like him. You clearly should date him, I get it.” Your eyes rolled as you slowly understood his little speech, blush still dusting your cheeks as your smile started to match his, lightly biting your lip to hold it. “But oh, wait, what did you say? Is it me?” he asked, feigning innocence and pointing at himself. “I’m the guy? Wow, incredible, so convenient.”

But you could only smile further at his antics, feeling any fear, anticipation, hidden pent up frustration, slowly leaving your body as the boy’s own joy radiated off his, contagious energy that seeped into you.

“So, would you consider going out with a tall jerk ?”

You couldn’t hold a little chuckle. “You’re a dork.”

“Yeah well, would you consider going out with a dorky tall jerk, then ?”

“I don’t just consider, Luke,” you started, a glint of playfulness in your eyes as they bore in his, “I want to.”

You stood up at the same time as one of your hands shot up to grab the collar of his orange shirt, bringing him low enough to press your lips to his in a kiss, surprising, confusing, but oh so cathartic. And for the short moment it lasted, Luke’s hands opening and closing just short of touching you as he didn’t even know what to do anymore, to the both of you it felt like perfection.

But the passion simmered down as you pulled away. “You swear you’re not gonna play me?” you mumbled, both hands gripping the front of his shirt as the bliss started to wear off and you realized how stupid you had to be to fully believe him, given the history.

“I-” Luke let out a deep sigh, hand finally moving to push a stray strand of hair out of your face, and you shivered at the contact of his warm fingers. “I’m gonna do everything I can think off to prove t to you. I’m on a maturing path, if that’s actually an expression.” And his smile grew back as he heard you stifle a laugh, finally looking up at him.

“Can I ask you something then ?”

“Anything.” And boy did he mean it. He probably was even ready to loose a sparring match against you if it would make you beam like you did just moments before.

“Why were you talking to all my siblings ? Everytime I saw you, you just… ran away.”

The boy let out an awkward laugh, scratching his nape as he looked away from your eyes. “Well I… I was asking around if they knew who you might be interested in… Didn’t exactly want you to find out.”

You looked at him in disbelief, happily surprised that he’d actually been through almost the same thing as you. “Wow, dedication, I could never. I only asked Annabeth-”

“Annabeth knew ? And she didn’t tell me ? I feel sooo betrayed!” Luke exclaimed with a laugh, head falling back with his eyes closed as he went through everything that could’ve been simpler had she told him from the start.

“Wait, she knew about you ?” Your face displayed a matching shock now. “And you feel betrayed ? Wow, she looked at me right in the eyes and told me she barely knew your type, hence the list.”

“She really is the evil genius she thinks she is, huh ?” he asked rhetorically, his arms finding your hips and pulling you closer to him.

“Myeah, gonna have a talk with you now, little girl…” you replied, resting your head comfortably against his shoulder, the feeling almost too natural to feel new, and you could only smile absentmindedly as your own arms hugged him back.

Did i feel fully comfortable writing boys down-talking a girl for that two sentence apparition? No. But for the sake of the storyyyy :D

Future partner if you have to nickname me, let it be moonbeam. Please. And if you could cosplay nightwing on a weekly basis it’s an added bonus but hey, I won’t ask too much <3

Hope you enjoyed this heheh

Love, Nana -

#luke castellan imagine #imagine #luke castellan x reader #pjo series #luke castellan x you #oneshot #charlie bushnell #fanfiction #lukecastellan #nana's mind ━☆#pjo luke castellan #pjo angst #luke castellan angst

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