#Clawing for excuses to be despairing i haven't been like that in a while tho.
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It's been a decade and i can't let go :/
#I shouldn't. Be in agony abt it in the first place is the thing. Idk if it was wrong what that person did. i mean.#I can't ask anyone about it. Id have to tell them what happened and. I can't. I'll tell ppl something has happened and they always assume#The worst and. I feel guilty as if i am lying.#I regret telling my mother btw. I wonder if she even remembers. She does but yknow. The way she just said his name as if it was nothing in#Front of me one day. Well that's that. So it's not that big of a deal he didn't really do anything. He was as old as me now back then lol a#Scared of myself. Why did he do any of that omg. He could think right he was way older you were an adult i was barely 8 fuck i don't need#This. I am worried if i am blaming someone without ground. What if what he did was normal. Idk what's right and wrong#Some girl told me that. sa victims were putting others in danger by not letting the concerned know what happened to them which first of all#Wrong. And she clearly didn't get that i was uncomfortable. but i am not always in a mental state to understand that and it's like i am#Clawing for excuses to be despairing i haven't been like that in a while tho.#I feel like i am faking it you see? I don't know what's real. I don't know what's right what i feel or what i should feel.#Vent tw ig#sa tw#Not really. I don't know. I don't really know
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