#Chirpy books
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time-woods · 2 months ago
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idont think he likes this song very much . .
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baikinmanz · 1 year ago
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what if… warabi x noiji…
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yesyourstalker · 1 year ago
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Candy: hi guy! This is candy!! You're favorite girlyyyy!!!!! So I recently got a job at Rock shock at Barnacle & Dime Mall!! I'm so excited because I am partnering with them and sharing a location! I get to have my own little piercing station inside the store!! He's even letting me paint it pink. Isn't it cute!! It's a business inside of a business. I love it ....... Some you probably already recognize me as piercing princess on Inkstagram!.. I was at wahoo world boardwalk and worked with ink tank tattoos...... Unfortunately the partnership is over....they went back home to Gillsdens..aww It's not the last time we'll see them tho.......haha. Anyway usually I answer your questions on how to take care of piercings and treat infections but today I want to do something different. So recently I got a new client and that client is my boss!!! And you allowed me to do a piercing for him
Neta: hey Candy....
Candy: hi Neta...... so what did you want me to do today?
Neta: I was thinking of a tongue piercing buuuut how about some ear piercings
Candy: ohhhhh couple ear piercings so we talking about an industrial or maybe we can do a rook *gasp* we can do a daith piercing!!
Neta: yeah that sounds great................ hey Candy can we talk off camera.
Candy....... You don't want me to film in here? I understand... I should have asked first
Neta: no, no filming is fine It brings in people plus I watch you all the time....... I just kind of want this conversation about my ear piercing to be a private thing.
Candy: ok yeah That's no problem.
Neta:..........*sigh* ok...... So it's very obvious that my ear is kind of........ jacked.......and .....it how do I say this...... it holds a lot of trauma and bad memories..... Sometimes I struggle to look at it .......when I had long tentacles I used to hide it but now I'm not able to do that anymore and I've been getting a lot of stairs at it and I feel....... ummm........*sigh*.........I just want it to be easier to deal with..... I don't want to look at it and automatically associate it with my past and want people to look at and focus more on the body modifications instead.......you know
Candy: .......... Oh.... ok it's whatever you want and what makes you comfortable..... my clients come before my content....... I'm happy to provide a safe space and am honored to be a part of this journey of healing you're going through......
Neta: thanks candy I'm fine with you filming, I just needed to have that conversation....... thank you.
Candy: It's no problem..... ok.......1...2....3.....ok guys so first we're going to start with the left ear!!................I was thinking of maybe we can do 3 piercings that travel up the soft cartilage of the ear and then add a piercing on the flat and end with a rook....... mmmmm....... On the Right we can do similar but instead of 3 piercings on the soft cartilage I'm going to stick with 2 and an industrial piercing! How does that sound Neta?
Neta: yeah...... that sounds great. Let's get to it
Candy: great!!
[After piercing session]
Candy: ok we're done........ What do you think?...... Usually I like to film my client's first reactions but I feel like maybe this one should be..... personal
Neta:........................................... Wow ah ha .......... I love it!......... I can-i can actually look at it......I can fully look... at myself....... Candy.... thank you....
Candy: aaaaaaaaaaaa! It looks so good!!!....... you're welcome!! You look amazing! Some of my best work!!........am I crying??.... it's fine....What do you guys think? It's cute right?
Mahi: looks nice.....and painful
Neta: yeah the rook part hurt like shit but I think it's worth it.
Mahi: you didn't get the tongue piercing?
Neta: I did. I just got on the bottom. See......laaaaa....
Mahi: damn I should have gone that........ You look so different in the first time I met you. Are there any more changes that you're going to do?
Neta: I might stop dying my hair and keep it yellow...... I think I'll be good as a natural gold
Mahi: ehhh I don't know. Let me see you being green..... It would suit you though
Warabi: yeah, I would match your personality. A dumb bubbly gold bimbo
Neta: ha. Ha. Shut up
Candy: Oh my cod yes we would match!!
Mahi: I don't think Phoebe would recognize you though
Neta:ah man you're right guess I'm keeping it green...
Mahi belongs to @fish-at-fish-fish-resort
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chaptersleftunwritten · 3 months ago
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Beauty is a beast that roars
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Part One | Part Two | Part Three
Blurb: You quietly long for Eddie’s attention, and when things with Chrissy start to look serious you resort to desperate attempts for him to look at you the way he looks at her.
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Chrissy Cunningham x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Angst, hurt (no comfort), Eddie is kinda a dick, obsession, hurtful notes being passed, mentions of bulimia/eating disorder, mild stalking, low talk about self image, societal pressure to look a certain way, mental health struggles, characters are 20+ and in a college setting!
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divider by @reveriesources
It started as a slow burn inside of your chest. You blamed it on the stress of finals but the more you saw them together, the more that burn worsened into a blaze; scorching your heart and tarring it black.
You didn’t think it possible to be obsessed with someone that you didn’t love- but you worshipped the very ground that Chrissy Cunningham walked on. At times, you thought she was able to read your mind. The way she effortlessly flicks her natural glowing golden hair over her shoulder as she laughs, looking like she was sculpted by Aphrodite herself- or how she presses her perfect rosy lips in peppery and sweet kisses to Eddie’s cheek. She had him wrapped around her skilful fingers. You couldn’t stand it.
It twisted your insides into a rope like knot- so tight and big and uncomfortable. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t think straight when you looked at her. At them. Your brain harbouring thoughts of envy, rotting from the inside out with lightless horrid concepts.
You couldn’t help but follow study Chrissy. Her signature blue eyeshadow that adorns her gorgeous blue eyes, her tiny upturned nose, her well proportioned features- her body. You had never repeated this information to anyone before, not even Eddie, because not only would it expose your research into Chrissy, but because you definitely weren’t ever supposed to find out.
You had walked in on her one day in the bathroom. She was hunched over in a stall, her white sneakers peeking out from beneath the cubicle door. She was vomiting. Harshly.
At first you thought she may just be sick, and she was, but it was a different conversation. You entertained that thought until you walked in a second and third time to her in the exact same position- her fatigued body draped over the toilet bowl. You understood how she maintained her physique. It broke your heart; momentarily.
What broke your heart more was that Eddie evidentially had no idea. You knew, deep down, Chrissy was just like you. A sad, broken girl. But she was better at hiding it. The Duchess of disguise. The Queen of your psyche. Your admiration of her was unhealthy, you knew that much. You just couldn’t stop. You needed Eddie to look at you the way he looks at her.
So you cut your hair into a fringe, and you change your clothes. You find your own signature colour of eyeshadow and you even purchase a few skater skirts. Sports had never really interested you until now; now you were trying out for the cheerleading team. And with being Chrissy’s friend- of course she gave you direct entry.
Because despite her beauty, Chrissy was also kind. Which made the knot in your stomach grow firmer, imbedding itself within you permanently.
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“Hey, Eddie!” You make sure your voice is dripping with the sweetest form of honey as you bat your mascara thick eyelashes at him. He glances at you from his magazine, quirking a brow at your chirpy energy.
“Hello… What’s up?” He asks, his words clipped as his eyes focus back on the flimsy book he holds sturdily in his hands. God… his hands. The rings that compliment his slender fingers and the bracelets that dress his wrist. You couldn’t get enough of it- of him.
It was impossible for you to hold his attention for more than a few seconds, and you had bound into the library full of hope and partial confidence today. You had pieced together one of your best outfit. A denim jacket draped over your shoulders, a white tank top (with no bra) and a cute skirt in your favourite colour which also matched your eyeshadow. Your hair was in a voluminous pony tail, held up by a great big scrunchie and your eyes were bright with popping colour. Your cheeks were dusted with blush and your nails painted perfectly; with the help of your mother.
You couldn’t think of a reason why Eddie wouldn’t look at you. You looked totally bitchin’!
“Uhm…” you stutter, your small confidence wavering at his lack of interest, “We haven’t really hung out in a while… I thought maybe we could? If you like!” There is a festering in the pit of your stomach, a panic that grows with every anticipating second, “We don’t really hang out anymore... just us, I mean.” You add, hoping further context will make you sound a little less desperate.
You and Eddie used to hang out every day. Sometimes alone, sometimes with the whole group. But lately… things have changed. And you know the reason why.
Eddie acknowledged you with a hum, finally placing his magazine down and narrowing in on your appearance. You thought you wanted him to look at you, but the intense confusion on his face made you long for the earth to gape open beneath you and swallow you whole.
“Looks like ya did a deep dive through Chrissy’s wardrobe.” His chuckle makes your ears heat and your face flush as his fingertips pluck at the sheer scrunchie wrapped in your hair. You can’t tell if he is joking or not— but to you, it’s a compliment nonetheless.
After a moment of pause and total excitement you gather your composure quickly and cough a meek reply, “I’m trying something new.”
You’re trying to be someone new.
“Hmm,” He examines you further, “I dunno,” Eddie scratches at his chin, his once soft and playful features now express something more distasteful, “I personally prefer your old style— this seems… out of character.” There was a lilt to his deep voice, which made him sound interrogative.
“You.. you do?” You curse inwardly at the stutter in your airy voice. To say his words shocked you was an understatement. They had your jaw hanging loose and your eyes opened broadly. Had you gotten it all wrong? Were you really just as pretty before all of this? Or was he teasing you… was he trying to make you feel better? Was this his attempt at telling you that you look like an utter clown in comparison to Chrissy?
You’d never know… because you would never ever ask him such things.
You think back to a note that got passed to you in class not too long ago- you weren’t sure of the culprit (you suspected Jason) — it read along the lines of,
‘Apply all the makeup you want, but at the end of the day it’s just lipstick on a pig.’
Were you a pig? Was this all just a feeble and comical attempt at beauty? To be desired. To be wanted. It’s all you longed for. It’s all you dreamed of.
You wanted Eddie to see you. To want you. And at this rate, you were losing all hope.
“Yeah,” alongside a small laugh he also flashes you a toothy smile, a mocking smile— and you clamp your jaw closed to stop yourself from shaking out a sob, “Listen, you’re free to chill here with me if you want but— hey!”
You couldn’t take it. The embarrassment. The knife twisting in your chest and puncturing your heart. You flee from the table abruptly before Eddie even has a chance to say anything more to you.
What was wrong with you? You wanted his attention, you wanted him alone and when you got it you despised the humorous way he gazed at you. You didn’t want to be entertaining or funny— you wanted to be loved.
Loved by him.
To please him.
To make him proud…
On exiting the library you pass Chrissy who was entering through the heavy fire doors, clearly she is on her way to meet Eddie. It was uncanny, almost like looking into a mirror.
The blonde spares you a small smile but not without a worried and intrigued glance at your attire before she is muttering a quick ‘Hello’ which you don’t even bother to return. You are too focused on your pursuit to the bathroom where you can hide yourself in an empty stall and cry without judgement. The only issue? You didn’t bring any makeup wipes for the mascara that has plagued your face in splotches and streaks of black tears.
Your eyes sting furiously and your bottom lip quivers outwith your control. It’s hard to believe that you have allowed yourself to stoop this low, crying shamelessly on campus in front of your peers. Their sympathetic eyes and taunting grins don’t go unnoticed by you as you finally make it to the bathroom, bursting into the void room like a bat out of Hell. Slamming the cubicle door closed and sitting on the toilet bowl where you start to question reality.
What are you doing?
You despise the fact that you know, no matter what, no matter how stupid you look- how ridiculous your clothes are and your sorry attempts at looking pretty, you would continue to do it. Even if people stared, gawked, whistled, laughed… you would continue on this descent into madness. The chase of perfection. The downward spiral of your mind had only just begun and you had a far distance yet to fall.
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Whilst classes had finished for a long weekend and everyone was outdoors enjoying what was left of the sun before Fall crept its way in, you were sat in front of your bathroom mirror. 
Pulling, pinching, tweezing, twisting, sucking, shaving, grabbing and crying.
God, you couldn’t stop crying.
You couldn’t remember a time when you didn’t cry.
To you, winter was already here. You were chilled to the bone, hollow in your chest. Insides were sunken. You felt vacant of any joy.
“Honey!!” Your mother yells suddenly from the bottom of the staircase, her voice is cloud like and warm, “Someone is here to see you!” There is a mutter of something inaudible, “Chrissy!” She confirms snippily and your face drops heavily into a worried frown.
“I’m in the shower!!” You shriek back dishonestly and you are reminded that you have a heart as it shudders inside of your chest. You aren’t ready to see her— you don’t have a lick of makeup on, your hair isn’t done and you are still wrapped up in your bath towel. 
Your first thought is how do you get rid of her? How do you lie your way out of this?
You couldn’t.
“Okay, she’ll be waiting down here for you then…” Your mother’s voice dies out and you can hear her offering Chrissy something to drink and eat; which Chrissy declines.
You move around your bedroom agilely, hustling to get as presentable as you possibly could to face the girl waiting downstairs for you. It doesn’t quite register that Chrissy is sitting with your mother, chatting and possibly gossiping. All you care about is getting some makeup slapped on your face and some nice clothes hugging your body.
Your hair can be brushed, but you don’t have time to style it— that’ll have to come later. After multiple a few sprays of your favourite perfume that smells like vanilla and a tinge of cedar wood you feel ready enough to leave your sanctuary.
Nearly tripping over your entire wardrobe that covers your bedroom floor you fly toward the door handle, bracing yourself at the top of the staircase before you descend.
Time to meet your maker.
Your intense gaze flicks hurriedly between your mother and Chrissy as they both stand to meet you as you enter into the lounge room. Chrissy’s hair is twirled and curled to perfection and a short pink summer dress embraces her small frame. On her feet is a pair of red Mary Jane heels and you catch a peek at the silver jewellery strung around her neck and her wrists.
“Hi,” you say, feeling like it is the first breath you take since entering the room.
Chrissy bounds over to you, stringing her arms around your shoulders and pulling you in for a quick but sweet hug, “Hi!” She giggles in a sing song tone before pulling away, “You smell amazing by the way! You’ll have to let me know what that is later!” Her fingers linger on the exposed skin of your bicep and you cringe away from her touch.
“Thanks,” Your mother has long left the room and you walk a few paces away from Chrissy.
“We were heading to the movies, you wanna join? It’s meant to be such a warm night tonight!” To your disadvantage Chrissy follows behind you closely, closing the distance you were trying to create between the both of you, “The whole group will be there! Plus, it’s a thriller which I know you love.” She winks at you and you hate that you can feel your lips curving up into a minuscule smile.
“I dunno, Chris.” Your hand palms at the back of your neck, you feel hot with discomfort and to be quite frank all you want to do is lay in bed and mope.
“Please!” She clasps her hands together, inching closer to you— if that were even possible, “I’ll even buy your ticket!” Her pillowy bottom lip pouts out slightly, “I just wanna hang out with you, it’s been so long.”
And she was right. It had been a long time. You had been so swept up in this horrible pursuit of yours that you forgot you were actually friends with Chrissy. Long before you even knew of Eddie’s existence.
A defeated sigh leaves through your nostrils and you raise your shoulders to your ears, “Fine.” You smile, a smile that feels the most genuine it has in weeks.
Chrissy squeals with excitement, jumping up and down on the spot before taking your hand into hers. Interlocking your fingers so she can make sure you don’t make a run for it, “Let’s go, tiger!”
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You all find your seats quickly, settling into them with your snacks and beverages. You partially regret not getting a drink but you decide that you’ll be able to soldier through. It’s what you do.
It was no surprise to you that Eddie was there too, but you couldn’t help but panic at the sight of him waiting for you and Chrissy to arrive at the theatre. His tatted arms crossed comfortably over his chest and a love filled smile teasing at his lips as Chrissy trotted over to him, practically jumping into his arms for a hug.
You fell behind them, ensuring you left as much distance as you possibly could. The sight of Eddie alone was enough to send you tumbling into a frenzy of inky feelings.
You could smell Eddie’s cheap cologne mixed with a hint of powerful weed and for a moment it clouds your senses. Taking hold of everything you knew— past, present, future. You couldn’t think about any of it, not with his scent engulfing your nostrils like second hand smoke.
Once the group had settled into the dimly lit theatre you sink into your seat behind Eddie and Chrissy, your shoulders slumping as you wish for the seat to turn into some sort of magical trap door that will transport you to another universe. But of course, you could never be so lucky.
The movie begins with a deafening introduction and you wince at the sound, your finger tips brushing over your ears gently to make sure that they hadn’t been blown off of the side of your head.
Steve occupies the seat next to you, and Robin is next to him with Vickie. You had grown to quite enjoy Vickie’s company. You loved how happy Robin got when she was in touchable reach… you pined for a connection like that.
Normally, you would be in your element as you watched a thriller movie, but something in front of you proved to be far more interesting.
Eddie and Chrissy were whispering sweet nothing into one another’s ear, Chrissy giggling and blushing at whatever it was that Eddie had said— probably something dirty and ridiculous.
And you could handle that. You could endure that.
But what you couldn’t take was watching as their tongues battled it out in a sloppy and erotic kiss. Chrissy had asked you to come and see this film— was it all a rouse just so she could show you who Eddie truly belongs too? So she could dismiss your attempts and break your heart further?
Unbeknownst to you, Steve had clocked the expression on your face. Tears glossing over your eyes, your front teeth gnawing on your bottom lip to try and contain whatever this was that you were feeling— but most importantly, he noticed the newfound stiffness in your body. He could feel you going rigid next to him.
“Hey, you okay?” His voice is low and kind and you should have paid more attention to his attentiveness but you don’t.
“I need to use the bathroom.” Is all you reply before lugging all of your stuff loosely and lazily into your arms and bolting for the theatre isle, but not without earning a few confused looks from Robin.
You bypass the restrooms, your eyes focused on the colossal glass doors which would separate you from Eddie and Chrissy officially.
The humid air hits your skin in an agonising envelop of warmth and you pull your sleeve over the palm of your hand to rub against your soaked cheeks.
Your chest feels heavy with every shaking intake of breath that you manage to pull into your lungs. You are heaving, gasping for air as you sob into the thick material of your sweater.
The sound of passing cars hits your ears and you slightly angle yourself away from the access road connecting the theatre to other public establishments. The images of Chrissy tongue down Eddie’s throat plays over and over in your mind— you don’t even know what the film was about because you were so hyper focused on them.
Your skin feels as though it doesn’t fit right over your skeleton and you grab at the material of your skirt, fisting the fabric as you try to ground your raging emotions.
You catch a whiff of theatre food and it causes bile to raise up the back of your throat, vomit threatening to project from your mouth.
People pass you by, their out of context conversations entering one of your ears and leaving the other. You felt so overstimulated— so riddled with anxiety that your brain hadn’t had space to even register Steve’s hand on your shoulder.
But when you do, you flinch away from him, taken aback by the horror stricken look on his soft features, “Hey… what’s going on?” His voice is low, a whisper as he tries to contain the situation between the two of you. Not wanting whatever this is to spill into the public.
You shake your head, your strong walls flagging up, “Nothing,” you dismiss him, “That movie was just… really scary..” you lie through your teeth and your watery eyes betray your words as tears continue to stream down your flushed skin.
“Bullshit.” He spits, his eyes turning to slits as he inches in closer to you, “Tell me what’s wrong right now.” His thick eyebrows have furrowed deeply on his forehead and you continue to deny him of any information.
“Steve— I’m fine! That movie was scary, I’m scared! That’s all… and.. and I needed some fresh air.” You shrug your shoulders, hoping that the messy headed man would leave it at that but he replies to your dishonesty with a discontent shake of his head.
“You’re fucking lying. Why are you lying to me?” He is so close to you now that you can feel his breath fanning onto your face, “We’re friends, right?” He cocks his head slightly to the right, his eyes becoming a bit more gentle, “Right?”
“Yes!” You respond instantly, “Of course we are friends-“
“Then tell me what’s going on! What is all of this about!” He gestures to your face, but his eyes scan across your body as well. He wants to know the whole truth, and you aren’t going to give it to him.
“I just told you!” You try not to yell, and thankfully your despair is doing a good job at strangling your voice, “I needed air—“ Steve cuts you off.
“Stop it. Stop it now.” He takes a hold of your arm, hurrying you away from the movie theatre entrance, “Just tell me. Whatever it is, I can help! I can help, okay? There’s nothing too big.” You stare into his honey suckle eyes, seeing your owe reflection staring back at you. It causes your stomach to flip with disgust.
“Why can’t you just let this go? I’m fine, Steve! I’m fucking fine! I just wanted air because I felt sick and you’re causing a scene!” You’re yelling now, your once sadness provoked tears turning to anger.
“I’m causing the scene? You’re the one lying to me and busting my balls! I just want to help you!” He takes a frustrated hand through his hair.
“I don’t need your help! I don’t need anyone, I’m fine on my own. I can take care of myself— you don’t get it! You’ll never get it, Harrington!” You jab at his chest, your body shaking with adrenaline.
“Harrington? Wow, okay. Something is definitely bothering you because you only ever call me that when you are really fucking pissed and I know I haven’t angered you this much so just tell me.” He circles you like a shark in murky water and you flee from him, needing some breathing space.
“Tell me!” He demands, charging after you.
You swing around to face him, your entire body feeling as though it’s going to combust.
“You wanna know, Steve? You really wanna fucking know?!” You march toward him, stopping a few paces away from his large frame.
“I’m in love with Eddie!” Your voice is an unattractive squeak, “Is that what you want to know, Steve? Are you fucking happy now?” You’re trembling now— a mix of rage, melancholy and dread.
“I am in love with someone who will never love me back. I… I have tried so hard to win him over.” You pluck at your t-shirt, scoffing at the silliness of it all, “I tried to change everything about me. I tried to be the one he would want but he doesn’t want me. He’ll never fucking want me, Steve.”
You wrap your arms around yourself, a form of defensiveness, “I’ll always be second best— no.” A moment of ugly realisation hits you, “I’m not even on his list. I’m not even a back up option to him. I’m a nobody. I can’t compete— I can’t compare.”
You’re a mess now. Smudged eyeliner. Smeared lipstick. You are a museum of failed art.
“I am in love with Eddie Munson and he doesn’t even know who I am.”
You try to lessen the blow of your own words with a tight lipped teary smile and a shrug of your shoulders… but whatever was left of your bruised heart was now torn to shreds. Unfixable. Unlovable.
“No one wants me.”
Through your distorted vision you hadn’t even noticed the tears pricking at Steve’s own eyes as he watched you fall to pieces in front of him.
Gently he brings you to lay flat against his chest, one of his hands rest tenderly against your hair whilst the other it draped over your shoulders.
He doesn’t say anything. He just holds you silently and allows you to sob into his broad chest— your makeup destroying his pristine white shirt.
A few moments of the embrace pass and that’s when you hear a muted voice from behind Steve’s large frame. A voice you had hoped to not hear— a voice that belonged to someone you had prayed would never ever hear you confess what you just had. A voice that was laced with what you could only pinpoint as malice and repulsion.
Eddie.
“What.. the fuck?”
And as Steve’s body tensed against yours, you blinked away the last of your tears and accepted your fate.
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taglist: @colorful-white-ideas @littlered0000 @ali-r3n @daisy-munson @serenadingtigers
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luveline · 1 year ago
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I don’t really have a request I just love anything you write💗 maybe something with girly!reader?
thanks lovely💗
Spencer wrings his hands behind his back, shifting from one foot to the other unhappily. He hasn't felt this nervous since he was young —his PhDs have acted as a shield for years now. Even if he doesn't know what to do, he physically cannot be stupid. 
He feels pretty stupid. Less when you look up, smile blinding and sticky with gloss. He's thought about how it would feel to kiss you before and he tries desperately to push the thought away now, his hands shaking where they're hidden. 
"Hey, Spencer Reid," you say, lightly teasing as you wave him toward you. "How are you?" 
"I'm good." 
"Yeah?" You gesture at the empty seat in front of you. "Are you having lunch?" 
The bureau cafeteria is less of a cafeteria in the kitchen sense and more of a staff room, though hot food is served at the very back. There are couches toward the patio of an outdoor area to the left. You sit at one of the tables near the doors. The air is cold around his ankles as he sits with you. 
"No, I– I came down for coffee, but the jug is empty." It's a bad lie. Luckily you have no idea that there's a kitchen in the BAU offices. "You're not?" 
You turn your laptop screen to him. "I ate my lunch at my desk. I'm just catching up with my show." Your laptop has stickers around the screen, silver shiny stars and tiny pink hearts that look like they're made of jelly. There's a closed bottle of nail polish resting near the keyboard. "And I'm gonna touch up my nails, too. They're always chipping." 
"They look perfect to me," Spencer says. 
You beam at him, beatific, so, so pretty, he could die. He might. "Thanks, honey. You'd look cute with painted nails, have you ever thought about it?" 
Spencer honestly forgets about his nails. He should take better care of them. He thinks about hiding them under the desk. "I don't think I could do it." 
"No one's good at it, at first. I'd paint them for you, if you wanted. I have a couple of things in my bag." 
Spencer's relieved to present freshly trimmed nails to you for painting. Your polish is a light blue colour, milky, and he assumes it'll be the one you use on him, but you decide to ruin his life, taking his hand into one of yours. You hold his fingers in a way that presents the nail as you brush cuticle oil around the edges of his nails with a small pen brush. You chatter as you do in your way, all sweet and gentle in mirror of your touch. 
He's proud of himself for keeping his cool. To have you touching him for so long, so kindly, to have your attention, it has him squirming with a mixture of pleasure and horror. He wants to be seen by you but he doesn't know if he likes what you're looking at. 
"You have really lovely hands," you say, using the tip of one of your nails to scrape stray wet polish off of his skin, "do you play piano?" 
"You can tell?" he asks. 
"Pianist's fingers," you say. "That's a thing, isn't it?" 
"I haven't played much since I was younger. I got distracted by other stuff." 
"Maths," you surmise. "And criminology?" 
Everything. He pushed away a want for human connection with books and education until it got too much. Even the wisest of honeybees will brave heavy rain for a beautiful flower, and that's sort of how he feels about you. He knows it's stupid, knows it's doomed, but he couldn't not try to speak to you. You're the prettiest girl he's ever seen, all your lip colours and shimmery eyeshadows, the chirpy way you talk, the earnestness of your please and thank yous. 
Your hands. The silver ring on your index finger dotted with tiny pink stones. Your bracelets. The smell of your perfume and your soft sweaters. 
"Done," you announce, an uncharacteristic hesitance to your tone. "Are they okay?" 
You've done a perfect job. "They're so neat. Thank you. I– I love it." 
Your eyes linger on his hands. "I love when guys wear nail polish. You're even handsomer now, it's crazy. I didn't know it was possible." 
Spencer should have more style for sure, but he asks you to dinner right then and there. 
You smile until the lashes kiss in the corners of your eyes and say yes. This new place opened just around the corner from your apartment, and you've been trying to drum up the courage to ask him all week. When Spencer hears that he almost passes out. 
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reiding-writing · 2 months ago
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Hi!!!! Congratulations! You’re amazing!
Could I get a couple different author’s picks for angst fics starring our favorite Dr.Spencer Reid? They do not have to end happily but they can!! Please recommend yourself as well! (Maybe your current top 3??)
Thank you, wonderful person!! -🐈‍⬛
thank you so much ml 🫶🫶
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R E D ‘ S P I C K S — ANGST .ᐟ
the ogs will know i am an angst fiend in the deepest threads of my heart, and when i tell you i have plans to return to that era, i mean it 🙂‍↕️
please make sure you read all of the warnings before indulging in these fics!
red’s 2k book fayre !!
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you’re losing me. | 2.0k | @parfaitblogs
in which he's an entirely different person after prison, and your relationship is crumbling.
passive aggressive. | 2.1k | @ddejavvu
spencer's stressed, and he takes it out on you. you're sure it would have hurt far worse if he'd shouted, but instead he broke you down bit by bit, his cold demeanor leaving you crying in your car.
the ninth step. | 1.1k | @pathologicalreid
spencer works to make amends after mexico, and he's starting with you.
you were like an angel to me. | 5k | @januaryembrs
spencer swore he wanted to hate her. she was too happy, too chirpy, too much for a guy who spent months rotting in prison. but how could he ever hate her when she cried in his chest like that?
better off as lovers. | 12k | @eideticmemory
three years after ending your relationship with spencer reid, you find yourself representing him in court on federal murder charges.
we’ll be alright. | 9.1k | @unseededtoast
in which you discover that the line between love and hate is quite fine. Your actions are done out of love, but they only make you hate yourself more and more.
transgression. | 8.2k | self rec
you're in love with spencer reid. He's in love with somebody else.
forgiven. | 3.7k | self rec
you lied to him with good intentions, but when he finds out the truth he says something detrimental in the heat of the moment. after weeks of radio silence any chance of reconciliation is almost lost after you get critically injured in the field.
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absolutely all of the love in the world to these writers and their works, if you enjoyed reading these, make sure to check out their other fics as well !!
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mystellenia · 8 months ago
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romantic tension with abby
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summary: in the warm glow of abby's bedroom, after a day of shared hobbies, you contemplate your deepening feelings for her and hope that perhaps she feels the same
content: friends (to lovers???), sfw, literally nothing else
notes: wrote a part two :p i need to write more fluff bc there is such a shortage AND especially with abby. this is like so domestic like in the way that there's no extra interactions. like this is literally how me and a friend would act after a day of painting!! just sleepy and tired zzzzz
(wc 0.7k)
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the setting sun cast an orange glow on abby's bedroom where the two of you lay on her floor, bathing in the heat radiating from her large window. you'd just finished painting birdhouses for the married pair of sparrows that frequented the birdseed abby had set out. they would dance around each other and sing their chirpy harmonies and then take turns pecking at the various seeds from the feeder, so abby thought it necessary to handmake them houses in her shop. 
this was one of your many duet activities of abby's "grandma hobbies," as you called them. you two had fed the ducks down at the lake, gone through an entire coloring book, built lego sets, and done nearly a dozen puzzles—one of which was glued and framed in abby's kitchen. 
you guys spent every free moment of time together, and counted down the time until you could when one was busy. you were the closest of friends, but lately you found yourself wanting more—or at least thinking about how it would be if you were more. coming home to each other instead of making the fifteen-minute drive any time you wanted to see her. being able to actually tell her when she looked so pretty it made you hold your breath instead of chewing on your lip. 
she shifted next to you, bending her legs at the knees and pulling you out of your thoughts. "i should probably wash the brushes before the paint dries on them, right?" 
you almost tell her she shouldn't so that you could lay with her a little while longer, but you give in. "yeah, you should." 
she sits up to stand, grunting as she lifts her body weight and moving to the crafting cloth where your birdhouses currently sat drying. you sat up and leaned against the foot of her bed, watching as she so delicately readjusts the cloth so that it doesn't smudge your paint job. 
scrubbing your hands down your face, you push up off the bed and move to grab a sweatshirt of hers to change into, taking your paint-covered tank off and slipping the sweatshirt over your head. it sat baggy on your body with her being bigger than you are just about everywhere, and you threw the hood over your head and dropped onto the right side of her bed. 
she returns with her hands patting on her sweats to dry them off. seeing you in the bed, she comes to sit next to you, with you on your back and her laying on her side to face you. 
"you wanna just stay the night?" she says, her voice lifting at the end as if it were a question and not a declaration. "it's too late to go home alone." 
"yeah, i think i will," you respond. you remember the origami book she bought at the farmer's market last saturday. "only if we make paper cranes until our fingers bleed from paper cuts tomorrow," you grin, turning to look at her and see she's already looking back at you. 
"okay. i have lots of band-aids," she jokes. 
you chuckle, and the two of you fall into a comfortable silence, sheepishly smiling at the other while holding eye contact. 
"can we also get those berry pastries from the cafe? and make those butterflies we saw on pinterest?" you ask, your cheeks still kissing your eyes. 
"yeah, i'll wake up early to get them for breakfast," she nods. "and i only got that book so we can make things together—we can make whatever you want." 
in place of a response, you slip your fingers between hers and tightly squeeze her hand, ignoring your frustration with the uncertainty of her feelings for you. 
the tip of her nose pinks a bit before she opens her mouth. "good night. we need brain power for making cranes." 
you turn onto your side as well to face her, your noses nearly touching. "good night, abby," you grin, high on the feel of her skin on yours and the way she's looking at you.  
you fall asleep with a smile on your face because your close friend, abby, may just like you, too. 
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@picklesarenice69 @abbyandersonsrightbuttcheek
yayyy i’m back :3
click here!! oh and here too!! ˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶
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charles-leclerizz · 7 months ago
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🥂 the f1 boys... getting spoiled by them
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MEET THE CAST. CL 16 ◦ CS 55 ◦ LN 4 ◦ MV 1
VIDEO DESC. this one was requested by a lovely reader ! thank you so much for requesting and i hope you enjoy !! my inbox is almost always open so please don't hesitate to drop by. rules for requesting are here . [ note! currently just burned through this while feeling a bit under the weather, if there are spelling mistakes, trust that i'll fix them in the morning. ]
SHOUT OUTS. [@vroomvroomcircuit, @disneyprincemuke, @verstappen-cult, @starkwlkr, @sailing-with-100-ships, @foreveralbon, @lorarri], [@dallaavv, @nichmeddar, @sisinever] IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED, PLEASE SEND IN AN ASK, AND MUTUALS LET ME KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE REMOVED ON PRIV !
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ᡣ𐭩 ⎯⎯ CHARLES LECLERC 16 " he who buys out entire stores for you " spoilt in riches
"mon amour ! " [ my love ] the sound of your boyfriends chirpy voice made you smile and place your book down on the side table by the sofa.
" in here . "you reply, walking over to the living room entryway, prepared to welcome him back with a hug, but as you approached him and opened your arms, a sharp jab hit your ribs which made you stumble back.
"charles ?" you arch your brow at him, planting your hands on your hips as he grinned wider, showing off the multiple, high-end bags that hung from his enclosed fists, " what is this ? "
Charles crossed over to the center table, placing down the bags with little care and turned to finally loop and arm around your waist, " well, y'know how alex had asked me and the guys to help with anniversary shopping for Lily ?"
you hummed, finally tearing your eyes away from the silk and lace that peeked out of the thick cardboard, " honey..." you began warnigly, already knowing where this was going.
" ce n'est pas ma faute ! " [ it isn't my fault. ] he defended, his eyes darting to the front door anxiously bouncing between your face and the already opening hallway, " we just kept going and going and going- " he enunciated with his hands, rolling them over eachother, "and going, it was too tempting. "
Charles held his hands up and watched, amused, as you sifted through the shopping, eyes widening comically as you got a peak at the price tags, " Charles ! " you hissed.
" what ? " he answered back, more focussed on his friends who were barrelling into the apartment, each of them carrying atleast 5 bags each.
Max was the first to plumet the boutique carriers down, hufffing whilst flopping onto the couch, " man, charles, you- " he weazed, "- you have a problem. i think i tore something . " he whined, holding his side.
charles blew air through his lips and flipped his hand at the dutchman, " you're a world champion. walk it off. "
you grimaced at max, who just stared at your boyfriend with an open mouth, " he's right darling, this is too much. "
Lando, Carlos and Alex all followed soon after, added to the pile with multiple trips back and forth to what you assumed to be an armed tank full of your boyfriend's precarious spending.
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"charles- it's still going..." you huffed, offering a lemon water bottle to a certain spaniard who was drentched in sweat and sniffing his fingers.
carlos smiled at you briefly, chugging the electrolyte before gasping and slumping back, "dammit, maldito infierno, my hands smell like all those tuity fruity shops you dragged us to. " [ fucking hell ]
"you're a millionare, buy some hand wash. " charles answered back, shrugging his shoulders. he lifted carlos up and pushed him out the door to retrieve more bags.
" charlie, tell me how many more bags there are ? " you gestured around your space, already overtaken with more than millions of euros worth of shopping, " i mean, this is excessive. there's jewellery, shoes, dresses, tops. where should i wear all of this ? "
charles stuck his tongue out at you with faux-confusion before cupping your cheeks and planted a wet kiss on your nose, " we'll just have to go out more often. "
rolling your eyes, you returned his affection, winding your hands around his waist before reaching up and plucking absent-mindedly at his shirt, " yeah- now you got a good excuse ... " you trailed off, biting your lip, " but it bothers me, i can afford this too y'know. it feels so.. odd. "
" what's odd about it ? dis-moi, je vais le réparer " [ tell me, i'll fix it ] his thumbs rubbed comfortingly at your cheeks.
" i don't know- this is all your money, it makes me feel indebted to you, almost guilty . " you bite your lip and grasp his wrists, not wanting him to be hurt by your words and pull away entirely.
though, to your surprise, charles hummed and pulled your closer, resting his chin on your head whilst peppering his lips across your hair, " i understand mon chéri, but, i like spoiling you, it's my way of showing you that i love you. i would never expect something back from you, not this way atleast. " [ my daring ] he paused and looked around him, "think of it as a personifaction of my love ? "
you bit your lip and nodded up at him, your chest warming at the content glint in his eye and enamoured smile he wore, he brought his thumb up to your chin and pulled your lip free before leaning down and brushed his mouth against yours.
his lips worked in tandem with yours, pouring his affection into his movements whilst his hands came up to brush through your hair and pull you impossibly closer.
" - ehm ehm "
" oh come on, how come they get to sex it up here, while we're hauling ass ? "
" - SIMP ! "
a miriad of complaints erupted behind the pair of you, forcing you both apart with a surprised jolt. charles groaned and dropped his hands away from you, gearing up to whip his friends into shape, that was until you put a hand up to stop him and appraoched the trio yourself.
" come on guys, i'm sorry about all this ... " you apologised and smiled brightly, " i really owe you one ! "
a choked sound came from charles, who stood in awe at how these seasoned professionals melted at your sunny expression and merely walked into the house to drop the last of the bags in with not one complaint.
" bye guys, thank you so much ! " you thanked them, waiting until the electronic beep of the lock secured the door closed and allowed you to stare at the final salad heap of the shopping.
charles walked up behind you, ensnaring your waist with his hands before pressing your back against his chest, "show me your ways, princesse , they never listen to me. " [ princess ] he kissed a line up and down the column of your neck, smirking against your skin when you shivered and leaned your head against his shoulder.
" i could show you something else.." you mumurred, placing your hands over his fingers that laid flat against your stomach before lacing them together, "... i could show my love for you, in a different way . " you blinked coquetteishly up at him, fluttering your eyelashes as he growled playfully and coaxed a delighted squeal from you when he picked you up, legs flailing in the air.
ᡣ𐭩 ⎯⎯ CARLOS SAINZ 55 " he who showers you in emotion " spoilt in vehemence
" Te amo querida " carlos whispers against your cheek, his hand resting on your hip as you leaned into his hold and watched his back when he detached to walk away, towards his motorhome. He turned around and smiled at you, blowing a kiss dramatically.
" god, you guys are so cute... " alexandra mumurred, grinning like a cheshire as you returned his dramatics with an over the top play of his kiss shooting you in the heart.
" yeah... " you agreed, blinking your eyes quickly to exit the rosy haze that overtook your eyes.
" i wish charles would be so open with his love ... " she twirled the straw in her cup as her chin dug into her palm, eyes tranfixed on her own parter who felt her gaze and smiled shyly at her.
you tilted your head at her, " we're not that open . "
alex arched a brow, " really ? "
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flashback # 1
the bass boost of the club made your ears ring and lean into carlos' chest, hands slapped over the sides of your face.
He glanced down at you, " you okay, mi vida ? " [ my life ]
you nodded, leaning forward cheekily to take the straw of his drink into your mouth and sip the alcoholic drink with a satisfied hiss, " so good . " thumbs up-ing him.
locking his eyes on your dazed, flushed face, his gaze softened when you laughed loudly at a joke that kika had just drunkenly attempted to tell.
" you're staring . " you shout over the music after you had caught your breathe, " someone would think that you're weird . "
carlos hummed thoughtfully, fingers pinching your chin gently as he leaned down to brush his lips against your cheek , " let them, i'm sure they'll understand when they see how beautiful you look tonight. "
arching away from his mouth you roll your eyes and loop your arms around his neck, pulling him towards you, " yeah yeah- i think you're prettier, Que guapo eres " [ how handsome you are ]
flashback #2
you stared at yourself in the mirror, twisting on your spot whilst watching the silky fabric skim your ankles and flow like liquid gold from your hips.
" honey, estas lista ? " [ are you ready ] carlos loomed into the walk in wadrobe, eyes widening at your reflection, his hand slipped briefly from its spot planted ont the white wood door of the room until he caught himself and cleared his throat.
you giggled at his reeaction, hands running along the length of the apparrel before coming up to your neck and adjusting the dainty necklace that slinked down to your cleavage that lay exposed from the deep ' v ' cut.
" do i look okay ? " you tilted your head at him in the mirror, humming contently when he came up from behind and bunched his hands up on your hips, fingers swimming in the slinky fabric.
" Pareces una diosa, caída de una gota de sol y regalada desde el cielo. " [ you look like a goddess, fallen from a drop of sunshine and gifted to me from the heavens ] he twirled you around, hand raised high above your head, guiding you in delicate circles and bringing you closer to his chest before linking your hands together. he stared down at you, chuckling when you displayed the shimmery glitter on your eyelids.
your chin rested on his button down shirt as you snorted and began to fiddle with his fingers, " you flatter me , señor . "
" rightfully so, señora " he bumped your noses together, smiling widely.
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" yeah okay, we are open . " you grumbled.
alex chuckled at your expression, pinching your cheek playfully before sighing, " lucky you ."
" hey, " you rested a hand on hers that sat on the table, " charles loves you, i've seen it alex, it's like you hung the moon and stars when he looks at you ."
she brightened at you words, flipping her palm to hold you hand and squeeze it hopefully, " really ? "
nodding, you squeezed back " yeah, really . "
" it's nothing like you two though, it's so... surreal to watch him fall in love with you, every time he looks at you . " alexandra gushed.
you blushed and waved a hand infront of your face, " then we both got lucky . "
" we really did ."
ᡣ𐭩 ⎯⎯ LANDO NORRIS 4 " he who attaches you at the hip " spoilt in prescence
" damn man, you can let her breathe . " oscar leans to the side, eyebrows jumping up his forehead as he takes in the scene before him.
Lando, arms wrapped like an anaconda around your neck and in turn tucking your head into his chest whilst you had your hands burried beneath his t-shirt, wrapped around his bare waist.
" no " you protested, already snuggling closer to him, " i need him in my veins ."
oscar huffed out a laugh, rubbing the back of his head as lando nodded definitevely and patted your head, " ya'll are on some other crack . "
" whatever floats your boat oscie . " you call out as the driver walks away from the pair of you.
" in your veins, huh ? " lando smirked down at you, tucking his chin back to lay his forehead against yours.
" yeah ." you harrumph, biting his noise, " you got a problem with that ? "
" no ma'am ."
" good"
" you guys need to let it up . " a third voice interupted your bickering. Lando's pr manager stood to the side of you, arms crossed over one another.
" aw come on glenda, it's not that bad ." lando pouted, laying his cheek on your head.
" it's constant. "
you snorted at her, " well thats a bit unne- "
" constant . "
lando stood taller, " okay then, smarty pants, give us 2 reasons why we should stop being affectionate. i mean you've seen all the other couples, i don't see why you- "
" number 1 " glenda interrupted again with a singular finger pointed up.
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instance #1
" so lando, todays race obviously went well, with you coming P3 and the ferrari's scoring a 1-2 finish. can you walk as through what exactly was going on during the battle for 3 rd with perez ? "
lando nodded, grinning cheerfully as he wiped some sweat from his upper lip, " right, well, the race did you amazingly well- umph !"
he surged backwards from the force that had come into contact with his chest.
" i'm so proud of you lando, " you jumped up and down in his dizzy hold as he shook his head and attempted to steady himself. though, you ignored that when you burried your hands in his hair and dragged his mouth to yours, kissing him passionately.
just as your tongue came to run over the seam of his lips and his hands tightened around your waist, the interviewer tapped lando cautiously on the shoulder and sheepishly requested that they continue.
you sighed and detached from lando, who was also blinking back into reality. you laced your arm around his waist and leaned into his side, prompting the blushing interviewer to continue.
"- so you're just gonna stay like that ? "
both you and lando looked at one another and looked at the man infront of you.
" okay then. " he conceded and listened to lando's response.
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" oh come on glenda, mark didn't even care ." you whined, stomping your feet.
" he had a nosebleed. "
lando snorted, " he has the structural integrity of wet seaweed, mark should never be trusted not to get a nosebleed. "
" stop shitting on mark. " glenda deadpanned, " number 2"
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instance #2
" the aerodynamics on turn 2 were absolutly of the charts, how did you do that ? " an engineer turned away from the computer to glance at lando, who was leaned against a table but had got up to approach the data.
" i'm not sure.. but has anyone seen my girlfriend ? " lando wondered out loud, looking down at his phone.
" she left a few minutes ago, " another passing worker commented before walking away towards the other side of the garage.
" what ? why didn't anyone tell me ? she's a small human, it's easy for her to get hurt ? or fall down a man hole, or any hole in general, holes are the enemy here. " he rambled, already calling your cell hurriedly.
" why are we talking about holes ? " you call out, picking at your nails.
lando perked up and ran at you, arms wrapping around your chest as he picked you up and instictively you locked your legs around his waist.
" oh god, you're safe. "
" i went to take a shit lando ." you tapped his head comfortingly nonetheless.
" take me next time. " he mumbled into your chest.
" what ? "
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" i don't see a problem with it glenda" lando shrugged
" we had to call HR, you said 'holes' 5 times" glenda gestured to your intertwined limbs and flicked her hand at the two of you.
" well holes are dangerous, especially for me, broke my nose cause of a hole once. " you defended, unravelling from your defeated boyfriend.
" yeah holes are super dangerous, who's going to protect her from all the holes in the world ? the world's holes are dangerous, glenda. "
" someone call steve from HR ! "
ᡣ𐭩 ⎯⎯ MAX VERSTAPPEN 1 " he who demonstrates his affection " spoilt in action
" i'm home ! " you call out, dropping your bag onto the floor and groaning as you kick off your heels.
max padded out to the living room, grimacing as your shoulders popped before approaching you and kissing your cheek, "hoe gaat het met je mijn liefste ? " [ how are you my love ] he stroked your face gently before taking your hand in his and began to run his thumb up and down your knuckles.
" i feel like a bus hit me, " you laid your head on his sturdy shoulder, " then backed up on me, and then a pack of rabid wolves humped my head ."
" creative ." max hummed, chuckling when you pouted at him, " i..." he started, cheeks heating up precariously, " i did something for you, cause i know that work has been hard lately. "
cooing, you let him guide you out of the living room and into your bedroom, " here. "
he handed you a soft robe, " you gotta take off your clothes. "
" yeah, i know ." you snickered, gesturing for him to unbotton your shirt as you worked on your long slacks.
Max's fingeerr's shook against your freshly exposed skin when he pushed the shirt off, despite this, he trailed kisses along your shoulders, moving from the left towards your sternum before reaching your right side.
your breathing slowed, body finally relaxing against his gentle motions as you brought a hand up to thread through his hair. he dragged down your bra strap whilst dancing one of his hands up from the back of your waist to pop open the clasp, and although his eyes darkened at the sight of your breasts, the fingers that trailed down your skin were gentle and caring, kneading the tension out of them.
eventually, you were so relaxed that your eyes had fluttered shut and max had to coax the robe onto your slumped shoulder to usher you into the bathroom.
" oh max," you gasped, taking in the transformed space, aroma therapy candles littered the free surafaces, wafting a sweet pungent scent into the air that mixed into a melodious fusion of smells that escaped froom the steaming bathtub, the water within stained a sleepy blue.
he had set up a simple projector onto thee ceiling, producing relaxing views of a nebula onto the once plastered, white area.
" its so lovely, you're amazing, " you pulled him close and kissed his similng mouth, pouring yourr adoration into the melding of your lips together.
" you deserve it, mijn perfecte vrouw" [ my perfect woman ] max replied, sitting you down on the chair that laid perfectly infront of the mirror, he leant forward aand retrieved your brush before stroking the bristles through your hair with the utmost care.
he took his time, de-tangling your chaotic mane until it calmed down to a tamed waterful, running down your back, " wow, your hair is so smooth ." he commented, bringing his head down to run his nose through the silky strands. chuckling, you splayed your hand against the back of his neck.
"next step," he whispered to himself, takinng another familiar bottle from the coounter, " you use this hair oil, right ? "
"when did you get to know this ? " you mock-gasped, " it was my best kept secret."
" i called my sister. "
" yeah that checks out."
max took the oil onto his fingers, heating up the liquid between the pads of them before running his hands against your scalp to massage in the nutrients.
after the numerous steps that had to be completed to perfection, he moved you towards the still steaming bath.
" you're getting in too right ? " you asked, as if it were obvious whilst tugging at the bow that wasa tied lazily around your waist.
"well... i didn't plan on it." max shrugged.
" i want you to," you stepped towards him, pushing away the robe from your shoulders and let the material pool at your feet, " please ? "
" you play dirty, Schatje " [ sweetheart ] max groaned, letting you pull at his clothes until he was in the same state of undress that you were in.
giggling, you take his hand and let him submerge you into the water, " yeah, but you love it, " you stick your tongue out at him.
" yes, i do, " he conceeded, pressing his lips against your forehead as he joined you in the warmth, snuggling behind you and pulling your hips up- into his lap, " but i'm washing your hair, i did not let my sister yap my ear off for nothing. "
you rest your head against his shoulder, neck tilted so you could admire his face, bringing a hand up you trace his side profile softly, " i would expect nothing less. " you whisper.
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watchmegetobsessed · 11 months ago
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MISTAKEN HATRED
A/N: okay im veeery nervous about this one bc its the longest story i've written in probably months and it took me sooo long to finish it so im just praying its not utter shit 🙃 anywaysss, happy holidays guys! it's not overly festive, but it has some vibes so im labeling it as my xmas fic haha feedback is always appreciated! 🎄
WORD COUNT: 6.3k
SUMMARY: Things don't go as smooth as you planned with your bakery's opening, but you're doing your best to overcome the struggles. However there is one person who is hating on your business as if it was his job: Harry Styles. You just wish you knew what you did to earn his hatred...
MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!
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This is not how you imagined the last weeks before your official opening. 
You imagined the interrior to be fully done by now so you can focus on the last touches, ordering the right ingredients and promoting the opening.
Instead, you’re staring at what’s supposed to be your eight tables, intact and put together but it’s all in pieces. You specifically remember the website said they would deliver them done and you wouldn’t have to play puzzles. But they arrived six days late and very much not the way they promised. 
Taking a deep breath you stare up at the ceiling and decide to take the trash out before turning your bakery into Ikea.
“It’s alright. I can do this. I can do anything,” you keep telling yourself as you drag out the trash bags that are almost the size of you. 
You knew opening your own business would be tough. Especially in Eroda, the little town you have some of your earliest memories from, where your grandma used to live, the place that was closest to her heart and it breaks yours to know she couldn’t spend her last years here because she was too sick to live on her own. 
She never asked you to come back here, but the moment you found her recipe books the summer after she passed, you just knew what you had to do. Now it’s been three years and you’re finally opening Nana’s that will bring her warmth and love back to Eroda, or you hope so. 
Pushing the door open with your shoulder, you keep dragging the bags to the containers behind the small shop and you’re so deep in your thoughts you don’t even notice the two people just a couple of feet away.
“Hi, Love!”
You recognize Anne’s sweet, chirpy voice and a smile spreads across your face even before you look up, but the moment you see the person standing next to her, all joy just drains from your body. 
Harry Styles is standing as grouchy and arrogant as always next to his mother, hands hidden in the pockets of his fleece jacket, his unruly curls are tucked underneath his beanie and any normal woman would be into the man, but you. Not after he very clearly let you know you don’t belong here and you should take your business back to the city where you came from. 
You expected some resistance, not much has changed in town in the past decades and you had a feeling some might want to keep it that way, but you guessed older people would riot against your bakery, not a thirty years old grown man. 
“Hi Anne,” you smile back and mustering up all your strength you throw one of the bags into the bin, but you overestimated your muscle work, because it only falls to the edge and almost topples right out. Luckily, you grab it just in time and push it in.
“Oh, dear, those bags are bigger than you! Harry, help her!” 
“No, it’s alri–” 
Before you get to protest, Harry strides over to you and grabs the remaining two bags as if they weighed nothing and throws them into the bin without breaking a sweat. 
Of course he is fit, the man probably runs up the hill carrying twice his weight every morning, because that’s how you can imagine him working out. 
Though you shouldn’t be imagining anything about him.
“Thanks,” you purse your lips and square your shoulders as you face the two of them.
“How is everything coming together?”
Anne has been so enthusiastic about your bakery, she comes around probably every other day, checks in on your progress and always offers her help. 
“Um, it is… okay, I guess,” you let out a tired chuckle. Glancing over at Harry you see him looking to the side, as if he wasn’t even listening, but something is telling you he is very much focused on the conversation.
Yeah, that’s right, I’m still here! Not even your arrogance can chase me away!
Anne cranes her neck, peeking into the shop and she spots the pile in the middle.
“Oh, are you planning to put those together by yourself? Harry, why don’t you help her?”
The moment she suggests, you both protest.
“No, there’s no need.”
“Mum, I don’t really have the time,” he says at the same time, but it doesn’t seem to go through. Anne’s phone starts ringing and she excuses herself, leaving the two of you there. 
Great, this is all you were missing today, an awkward, forced situation with the man who wants to see you gone. Perfect.
“Should’ve ordered them done, don’t you think?” he speaks up, nodding towards the shop.
At first, you just blink at him, then close your eyes and when you open them, you have the fakest smile on your twitching face.
“What a wonderful idea! I totally did not think of that!”
“Then send them back and ask them to bring what you ordered.” He rolls his eyes and it’s irking you so much. You definitely don’t need his stupid advices, not when you’re terribly behind your schedule.
“They arrived almost a week later than they should have, if I send them back there’s now ay they will send me the new ones in time for the opening.”
Harry stands there, staring at the pile of furniture pieces inside and for a moment you think he might actually offer his help, which you’re not sure you’d have accepted, but it remains a mystery, because that’s not what he says when he speaks up.
“I’m busy for real. Mum likes to offer my help around without asking me.”
It takes you a couple of moments to figure out what you feel about what he just said. And when you finally do, you see red.
“As I said, I don’t need help. I did everything by myself and I will get this done as well. I don’t need your unwanted, half-assed effort to pretend like you’re helping me.”
You come off rougher than you probably should have, but he’s been bugging you ever since you moved to Eroda. The man knows nothing about you or your business, yet every time he comes near your shop he acts like it physically pains him to even look at it. He’d be the last person you’d ask for help, he doesn’t have to act like he has so much to do and doesn’t have the time to help when he doesn’t actually want to help. 
Harry stares at you with such intensity you almost break and stutter a sorry out, but that’s when Anne returns.
“Ah, we have to run. But I will come by tomorrow, Darling. And Harry can hel–”
“No need for help,” you smile at her as gratefully as you can force yourself to be in this moment. 
“Alright, then see you later,” she waves and you nod at her before your eyes meet Harry’s one last time before they walk away and you return to your shop. 
It takes you six hours to assemble the tables later that day, but you do it.
With no help. 
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Moving to Eroda, it hasn’t been your only goal to have your business become part of the town but you also knew you’d have to become one of the locals as well. Only a handful of people know who your grandmother was and you don’t plan to reveal it until the opening. You want them to taste all the baked goods and think of her first and then put the picture together. But this means you’re a total newbie for most people around. Last time you spent more than just a day here was when you were sixteen and you’ve changed a lot since then, so it’s natural people don’t recognize you. 
Anne has been your biggest help in breaking the ice and involving you in as many things as possible so you get to meet the people of Eroda. The weeks leading up to Christmas are usually filled with all kinds of winter activities locals enjoy wholeheartedly. Concert by the town hall, decorating the trees at the main square, collecting donations and cooking for those in need for example. You’ve been to all of these and very much enjoyed being part of the community. This weekend however, you can’t say you’re looking forward to the new festive activity.
Ice-skating on the frozen lake.
It sounds nice and fun, but you’ve ice-skated only once in your life and ended up breaking your wrist. Not your favorite childhood memory for sure and you don’t exactly want to relive it as an adult. 
You arrive with the intention of just sipping some hot tea and watch everyone else skate around until your fingers are falling off and you can go back to the shop to finish putting up the tinker lights at the back. 
Anne however had different ideas about today. Because as soon as you arrive at the lake, she is waving at you, holding up a pair of skates and you know they are not hers, because she’s already wearing those. 
“Kick those boots off, Love, I brought you my old skates! Come join us!” She smiles brightly at you from next to the pier where people get on and off the ice. 
“Oh, no, I don’t skate, Anne, but thank you!”
“Don’t be silly, even Bernie is on the ice!” She nods towards the old man who must be at least eighty, sliding on the ice as if he did this all his life. He might have, you have no idea.
“It’s really not for me, I–”
“Just try it! Come on!” 
She drops the skates by your feet and then slides away, leaving you no chance to protest.
Staring down at the skates, you can feel your stomach churning, but as you look up you see that literally everyone is on the ice, you’d look weird standing on the pier on your own. 
“Fuck,” you mumble under your breath as you give in and sitting down you start peeling your boots off your feet. 
“You’ll break your ankle if you leave it that loose.”
You know the voice and it just adds to your stress even more. You see his black skates in front of you as you’re trying to lace your own up.
“Hi Harry, so good to see you again,” you hiss through your teeth. 
“Tighten it or you’ll fall.”
“I’ll fall either way,” you mumble as you go back and pull the laces tighter. When you’re done you straighten up, but remain sitting on the end of the pier, anxiously string down at your feet. Harry doesn’t speak, but you know he is still there, probably watching you, trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, why you’re not just standing up and going at it like everyone else. 
Your hands are holding onto the wood underneath you for dear life as you picture yourself finally moving, but you never get to actually acting. 
“Do you need help standing up?” Harry speaks up at last and his voice is different this time. It’s not as arrogant, maybe even concerned. Do you look that awful right now?
“N-No.” Your voice cracks and you hate that it’s him who sees you like this. 
“Doesn’t seem like–”
“Would you stop being an asshole for a moment?” you snap at him and finally look up, eyes meeting his examining gaze. You have no idea what he sees in yours, but a few seconds later he breaks eye-contact, looks around as if he is hesitating before he sits beside you at last.
“You don’t have to skate if you don’t want to.”
“Tell that to your mother,” you mumble under your breath and it makes him laugh.
The sound of it is actually nice, surprising, but nice to hear something other than insults coming from his mouth.
“She can be a bit too much, but she’s just too enthusiastic.” You sit in silence for a bit before Harry turns to you. “You really don’t have to skate.”
“I want to take part, I just… I broke my wrist on the ice once when I was a kid and I haven’t tried skating since then.”
You didn’t plan on telling him much, but you felt like you had to explain why you’re being so dramatic. Part of you is expecting him to make fun of you for being scared of skating because of something that happened ages ago, but the arrogant comments never come.
Instead he stands up and when you look up at him he is holding a hand out to you.
“I’ll help you. You won’t fall.”
Any other day you’d think he is plotting against you, that he would get you to trust him and the trip you the first chance he got, but not this time. He looks and sounds genuine and as you take his hand, you put way too much trust into them than you would have ever allowed yourself to. 
You hold onto him with both hands and he keeps you steady as you finally attempt to push yourself up from the edge of the pier. Your knees wobble the moment your weight is on the blades and you instantly feel yourself losing balance, but Harry’s hands wrap around your arms and keep you from falling.
“It’s okay. Relax a bit, you’ll find your balance.” He encourages you and it’s almost strange to hear him so supportive of anything you’re doing, but not breaking your neck keeps you too busy to care about his random act of kindness. 
“Try to move forward.”
“I can’t,” you protest without even trying.
“You can, just relax.”
“Don’t tell me to relax, it’s not gonna help me relax!”
“Y/N, you’re gonna have a panic attack if you don’t relax,” he warns you and you realize how fast you’re breathing and all your blood is being pumped into your head. 
“I-I can’t, I can’t do this, I–”
“Y/N, look at me!” His hands snap to your shoulders and you grab onto his biceps as you look him in the eyes while your chest is still heaving. “I’ve got you, okay? You’re not going to fall. I’m holding you, I promise.”
Focusing on his words you finally forget about your fears and instead, you’re now trying to figure out where this version of Harry came from and why he hid from you all along. 
You’re not one to trust people that easily, but just from this one promise he made, you let go of all your doubts and hesitation. 
“Okay,” you breathe out. Harry nods and his hands slowly slide lower until they rest on your waist. 
“You knew how to skate, right? Before you broke your wrist.” You nod. “Alright, then it will all come back quickly.”
There’s a tiny smile hiding in the corners of his lips and your heart pitter-patters in your chest, but not because of the skating this time. His hands on you are not helping either, because for some reason, you feel heat radiating through the millions of layers you’re wearing where his hands are touching you. 
What is happening?
“Okay, I’ll hold your hand and you just focus on moving forward, yeah?”
You nod and panic rises in your gut for a moment when his hands leave your shoulders, but then they instantly take your hands and you feel safe again. 
Slowly you start moving, inching forward, your hands gripping Harry’s so tight, you’re afraid you might hurt him, but you’d never let go of him, not when you’re getting farther away from the pier. 
“That’s it, you are doing great,” he encourages. “Try to move a bit less rigidly.”
“Easy to say that,” you breathe out shakily. 
It takes time to loosen up even the tiniest bit and not grip Harry’s hand as if you wanted to crush his bones. But as you slowly move around the ice, led by him, you finally get more and more familiar with the feeling of sliding on the ice. 
“See? It’s not that bad,” he smiles when you stop for a short break after circling back to the pier. 
“I still fear for my life, but it’s bearable now,” you nod and he just chuckles.
It looks good on him. His smile is warm and welcoming, it’s a shame it took you so long to see it. You definitely prefer this version of him. 
“Honey, it’s so lovely to see you on the ice!” Anne slides over to you with ease, holding a cup of something warm, probably hot chocolate. 
“Well, it’s not quite my element,” you let out an awkward chuckle.
“You’re doing just fine. Besides, you just snatched up the best skater in town.” Winking, she bumps her hip against Harry’s. Your puzzled look urges her to elaborate. “Harry took over coaching the boys’ hockey team last year, the kids adore him!”
Instantly, you imagine Harry dealing with a bunch of cute kids, cheering on them, teaching them, making them laugh… The image is actually moving something inside you that’s been buried somewhere deep for a while now.
“Y/N, how are things coming together? Everyone is buzzing for the big opening!” Anne does a little dance that makes you laugh, but at the same time, something changes in Harry. 
“Um, it’s going okay. Not how I planned, but I’ll manage.”
“I’m sure everything will fall into place perfectly. And if you need any help just let us know!” She turns to Harry, looking for validation that he is open to lending you a helping hand as well, but his reaction is not quite what she was expecting, probably. 
“Sorry, I gotta go now,” Harry mumbles quickly, his gaze obviously avoiding you or his mother and he skates away so fast you just blink after him. 
“What’s gotten into this boy?” Anne huffs, but she lets go of it fast, starts chatting about something you don’t quite catch, because you just stare after Harry, watching him slalom between the skaters so fast it’s almost aggressive. 
And once again, you feel like you’re back where you began. He hates you and you have no idea what you did against him. 
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Theoretically, opening Nana’s two weeks before Christmas was a great idea, because you imagined all the baked goods people would order for the holidays, you knew it would be a great kick start.
Realistically, it means that now you have to do the last touch ups in the harsh winter that’s as cold as the North Pole. Or at least that’s how you imagine the North Pole.
It’s been non stop snowing for the past three days, the fresh, soft looking snow is now covering every bit of Eroda’s breathtaking view and though it’s very festive and nice to look at it from a warm room with something hot to drink, it’s not as relaxing when you’re still working on the bakery, doing the last bits of decorating and starting the first batches of baked goods, because in 24 hours, Nana’s is officially opening its front door to the public. 
You’ve been here since five in the morning, now it’s four in the afternoon but it’s almost entirely pitch dark outside so it feels like it’s nearing ten. The place is not a mess anymore, but the kitchen is, there’s all kinds of dough everywhere, you’re doing everything you can now so there’s less tomorrow, but even with all the work tonight you’ll be here at five in the morning again tomorrow. 
It’s been hours since the last time you looked out the window, so it fully goes over your head how heavy the snowfall has gotten lately, chasing home every soul from the streets. While you’re covered in flour and keep muttering Nana’s recipes to make sure everything is measured right, there is one more person out there who is still not home, battling the weather. 
Harry has been going around town all day, helping out the elderly with either delivering groceries, or repairing the heating, whatever they needed a helping hand with. He’s usually the person one calls in Eroda when something needs to be fixed.
The roads are now not quite safe to be driving around, but with his jeep he’ll be able to get home just before it gets too bad. Or so the thought, but that is until he drives by the bakery and sees the lights on.
At first he keeps driving, telling himself it’s not his business. But the farther he gets the guiltier he feels and then he turns the car around.
You’re too busy to hear the knocking at first, but then you hear it again and know it wasn’t just in your head. Rushing out of the kitchen you stop in front of the door, because through the glass you make out Harry standing there, the snow already covering the top of his head as if he’s been out there for hours. 
“It’s freezing out here, Y/N! Would be nice if you let me in!” he shouts through the glass and you finally snap out of your surprise, unlock the door and Harry practically runs inside. 
“What are you doing here?” You watch him shake the snow off of him and finally turn towards you. For a moment you forget about how you parted ways at the skating, how cold he turned out of the blue after helping you. 
“Funny, I wanted to ask you the same thing. There’s a snowstorm out there, you won’t be able to get home if you stay here!”
“Are you kidding me? I’m opening tomorrow, I have a million things to finish!”
“So you’re risking getting snowed in? Were you planning to sleep here or something?”
“Maybe! Yeah! I need to get a ton of dough ready and I still haven’t put up the tinker lights and I need to clean up…”
Harry stares at you with such a vivid look, you expect him to start screaming at you or something. But he just keeps staring until he finally breaks.
“Okay, where are the lights and where do you want them?”
“What?”
“You’ll spend the night here if you do everything alone. I’ll help and hopefully we’ll be able to leave when it’s all done.”
Now it’s your turn to stare at him as he is looking around, searching for the lights to start working, but you can’t really believe he is about to help you out when he could be home by now. On the other hand, you could really use the help and maybe finish earlier than midnight, so after pushing your surprise to the side you start instructing him. While Harry works on the lights, you return to the kitchen. 
To test out the dough for the croissants, the one thing you’re the most nervous about because it used to be Nana’s specialty, you decide to make a few and pop them in the oven while you do everything else. 
It’s hard to believe you’re finally at this point, so close to the opening, turning your biggest dream into reality. You wish Nana would be here with you today.
“Lights are done.”
Harry interrupts your thoughts and you wipe your floury hands into your apron before following him out of the kitchen to see the work he did.
“Oh my God, this looks perfect!” you gasp, seeing all the tinker lights run along the ceiling and walls, lighting up the place like magic. 
Harry just nods, pressing his lips together, as if it was nothing. 
“Anything else?” he asks.
“Yeah, I have a few pictures I want to hang up and then it’s all done–” The timer in the kitchen goes off, letting you know the croissants are done. “Let me take them out and then I’ll show you where I want them.”
You rush back to the kitchen and take the fresh, steaming croissants out of the oven, completely missing that Harry has followed you and he is now watching you curiously as you take the baked goods off the tray one by one.
“That smells like…” he speaks up, but the words die on his tongue and you just smile, placing one onto a plate, holding it out for him.
“Here, try it.”
He hesitates, but takes the plate at last. Though it’s still hot and he should definitely wait a bit, it’s hard to resist, you know that. You watch him take a tentative bite and wait for his reaction as if he is about to tell you your future. 
“So? How is it?”
“It’s… it’s really… good. Really good.”
It’s obvious he is having a hard time admitting you did something right, but his face says it all. You just don’t understand why he looks kind of puzzled, but you think it’s just because he didn’t expect it to be this good. 
“I bet the croissants will be the bestsellers,” you chuckle as Harry takes bite after bite until it’s all gone. He devoured it so fast it’s incredible. You couldn’t help but focus on his pink lips while he ate and those tiny sounds he let slip… they surely planted some thoughts into your head, thoughts you shouldn’t be thinking of when it comes to Harry.
“Come on, I’ll show you the pictures.” It’s your attempt to clear your mind.
You walk out and grab the box that holds all the framed pictures you want to hang on the walls, of course, all of them feature Nana. 
“Okay, so I thought a few could go over here, and then on that wall as well, and these, I want them behind the counter…” You start explaining your vision, but when you turn around you see that he is staring at a photo in shock. “Harry? What’s wrong?”
You step closer and see that it’s the photo that was taken on your tenth birthday. You’re holding up one of the cupcakes Nana made just for you and she is standing behind you, with her hands on your shoulders. It’s a fond memory, one of your favorite birthdays you ever had. 
“Oh, is it the dungarees?” you ask, pointing at your outfit. “I wasn’t quite the fashion icon back then,” you chuckle.
“No, it’s– who’s this?” he asks, pointing at Nana. You give him a puzzled look, because it’s not rocket science to figure out who the woman in the picture is.
“That’s Nana, obviously.”
“But as in… your grandma?” He finally looks up at you and his face is frantic, as if he is solving a lifelong mystery. 
“Of course, Harry, what is goin–”
“Y/N, Nana was your grandma?”
“Yes!” you laugh in confusion. “Of course she was, that’s why I’m opening a bakery under her name with all her recipes she taught me!”
You can’t read the look on Harry’s face as he puts the photo back into the box and then starts walking around with his hands on his hips. 
“Why do you look like you just learned you were adopted or something?”
“Y/N, I didn’t… I didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know what?”
“That you’re… Nana’s granddaughter. I had no clue.” He runs a hand through his hair and you try your best not to stare at how his bicep flexes in the movement. 
“What? Harry, why else would I be opening a bakery, named Nana’s right here, out of every possible place on Earth?”
“I don’t know!” he admits, throwing his hands into the air. “That’s why I… Okay, this is why I hated the idea so much. Because I knew Nana, I loved her! She was like… my grandma too! And I thought you just chose this name for fun!”
“Are you kidding me?” you huff in disbelief.
“I felt like you were ruining her memory, that’s why I was so against this place. I had zero clue that you are actually… related to her.”
“Oh my God, Harry!” There’s nothing else you can do other than just… laughing. This whole situation feels oddly comical, like something that only happens in movies. 
“I know, I’m sorry!” He exhales sharply and you truly see the regret on his face. “I was such a dick.”
“Yes you were!” you laugh in agreement. 
“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
“Well, now at least I know why you were my biggest hater all along.”
“Not anymore!” He holds up his hands and finally breaks a smile that looks so fucking handsome, it makes you forget about everything in a second. 
Turning to the side he stares out the window for a moment before looking back at you.
“The snowing has stopped, let’s wrap things up and go home, alright? Big day tomorrow.”
You both go back to work, Harry finishes quite fast with the pictures so then he helps you clean up in the kitchen and you notice how obviously different the vibes are now. There’s no trace of his usual hostile behavior, in fact he is so open as he asks you about Nana and how the idea of the bakery came. Then he tells you about her as well, how he has known him for so long and after the passing of his stepdad Nana helped him through the toughest time of his life. You’re surprised the two of you never met when you were visiting, but you believe in faith and it must be because it wasn’t the right time. 
It’s almost ten by the time you’re locking up while Harry is scraping the snow off his jeep. It’s rather eerie to see the town so empty, but it’s also pretty, the untouched snow covering every inch of the scenery. 
“Thanks for the help. And the drive home,” you say when he has parked in front of your house. 
“I’ll pick you up in the morning as well.”
“What? There’s no need, Harry–”
“Just accept the help,” he flashes you a crooked smile. “I have a lot to make up for.”
“What if I say you’re forgiven?”
“Then I’ll do it because I want to spend time with you.”
His answer comes so fast and honest, you can’t mask the surprise on your face as you stare at each other in the dark car.
“Um, alright then. See you in the morning.”
“Good night. Y/N.”
You fumble with the belt and then climb out of the car, still feeling kind of giddy from his words. He waits for you to get to the front door and you wave at him before walking in. Through the closed door you hear the engine roar and he drives away, leaving you with quite a lot to digest.
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Never in a million years did you imagine the opening of Nana’s to be like this. The small bakery is full to the brim, there are people everywhere, you haven’t stopped thanking everyone for the love and support and your heart leaps in your chest every time you hear someone talk about your beloved grandma. All the pastries are selling well, but as expected, the croissants are the biggest hit. 
But it’s not just the opening that has you smiling ear to ear.
Harry did show up early in the morning and he’s been helping you out all day as if he was getting paid for his work. In the kitchen, at the counter or by the tables, he’s been a one person army and your hero. You couldn’t have done it without him. 
You have just a couple of seconds to breathe between two customers and you peek over the crowd, spotting him right away by the table his mom and her friends occupy. He just made them laugh and he’s basking in their attention as he rolls the sleeves of his shirt up, revealing his tattooed arms. 
Fuck, he looks so good, it’s criminal. 
Now that he is not an asshole to you anymore, it’s pretty hard not to notice everything you’ve been trying to ignore about him. His charming dimples, his bouncy curls, the way he throws his head back when he laughs, how his nose moves when he talks, they was his hips sway when he’s walking… there is not one inch on the man you can critique.
The situation would be a lot worse if it was one-sided, but it appears that Harry is just as keen on being around you, always touching your lower back when he walks behind you, or brushing your arm to get your attention. 
“I’m seriously writing you a paycheck when it’s over,” you tell him when he returns behind the counter grabbing some cinnamon rolls to bring to the ladies by the window.
“I thought that we were already over this, Y/N,” he smirks and you bite into your bottom lip as you turn back to the customer in front of you. 
It kind of goes by in a blur, there’s so much happening, you’re always on the move and before you could even process the events, the day is over and Nana’s is closing for the first time. After the constant crowd, it’s weird to see the place empty again, but seeing that everything has sold, it finally settles in your mind: you did it.
As you turn the sign on the door your eyes slide over to the picture on the right. It was taken in Nana’s kitchen, you were about six or seven, the two of you are photographed from behind as you stand on a stool, next to Nana at the counter while she is teaching you how to make bread. The memory still lives vividly in your mind even though it’s been over two decades.
“She would be so proud of you.”
Turning around you find Harry behind you with a soft smile on his lips, his eyes on the photo at first, then they move to you and your heart skips a beat.
“You think so?”
“I know so,” he chuckles.
“So, I was serious. I owe you a paycheck after today.”
He rolls his eyes before arching an eyebrow at you.
“And I was serious when I said I don’t want anything in return.”
“You’ve been here since six, Harry!” you huff out a laugh. “I would feel so bad if you just went home without anything.”
He stares at you for long moments and you start to think he’ll just let you suffer with your guilt, but then he speaks up.
“Go on a date with me then.”
You suck on your breath as your eyes lock with his.
“What?” you whisper.
“Go on a date with me, Y/N. Will you?”
“I-If you’re still trying to make up for–” you start, but he cuts you off.
“I’m not. I told you, I want to spend time with you.”
You blink at him once, twice, as if you’re waiting for him to say it was just a joke, but he stands his ground with a serious look.
“Are you gonna leave me hanging?” he smirks, snapping you out of your haze.
“Yes–I mean, yes to the date!” you shake your head, clearing up your answer.
“I was afraid you hated me too much to give me a chance,” he breathes out a shaky laugh.
“I never hated you, I was just confused. You were the one who hated me.”
“I couldn’t hate you, Y/N. And believe me, I tried.” You both laugh at his words. “I was frustrated, because I wanted to hate you and this place so badly, but still… I was drawn to you.”
“You were?” you ask, your voice barely more than just a whisper.
“You have no idea how much,” he admits with a soft smile, stepping closer to you. “When we were skating, I totally forgot about everything and just wanted to hold your hand and help you. It was like a slap across my face when mum brought the opening up and I remembered I was supposed to hate you,” he admits with a chuckle and e inches even closer. “I’m glad I don’t have to try to hate you anymore.”
“I’m glad too.”
He is right in front of you, his face only inches away from yours and you suck on your breath when he reaches up and takes your chin between his index finger and thumb, angling your head further up so your lips are now perfectly lined up with his.
His eyes move down to your mouth, then up to meet your gaze and even without words you know he is asking for your permission to kiss you. You push closer and he is quick to close the distance and press his lips against yours.
You’d be lying if you said you never imagined what it would be like to kiss Harry. Because you did, several times. But nothing compares to having him wrapped around you, his lips so soft yet rough against yours at the same time as he kisses you over and over again while you’re fisting the collar of his shirt so tight your fingers are turning white. 
Maybe you kiss for hours, or maybe it’s just minutes, you have no clue, but when he finally pulls back, resting his forehead against yours, you just know your life is about to turn upside down.
“Changed my mind,” he speaks up at last.
“Huh?”
“About the payment.”
His words sink in slowly and your eyebrows rise.
“Oh.” Harry laughs at your reaction.
“I want my payment in kisses,” he then says with the cheesiest smile you’ve ever seen on his handsome face.
“That could be arranged,” you breathe out when you finally get what he was talking about and grabbing the back of his neck you pull him in for another one. 
And another one.
And some more.
And just like that Nana somehow brought another wonderful thing into your life, even though she is not here anymore.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
781 notes · View notes
sleepyangelkami · 9 months ago
Note
Hello, I just wanted to say that I loved what you wrote about Dick Grayson, I hope you continue to write more about him, I love him so much.
CALLER ID d.grayson
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 ☆ WORD COUNT - 3K
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DICK GRAYSON X FEM!READER
 ☆ SUMMARY - when dick was on patrol, he got an unexpected message from you. however, no matter how hard you try to brush him off, your boyfriend always seems to know when there's a problem and what to do about it.
 ☆ WARNINGS - mentions of violence, jason's attitude problem, crying, reader has insomnia, petnames, use of 'good girl' (non-sexual), intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷
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patrol was so slow tonight.
it was times like these where dick dazed off at something he couldn't quite make out, a far away building or even something in the sky. his thoughts drifted to you, his sweet girlfriend that had barely whined when he removed her arms from around him, stating that he just had to get to patrol. however, as soon as he was heading out the door, suited up, you'd rolled over and fell back to sleep.
dick loved everything about you, from your sweet personality down to the way you look in his shirts. and boy, did it take him a lot to be able to leave you alone when you looked so pretty in one of his white shirts.
he hadn't even realised that he'd been swinging his escrima sticks around, literally yawning while waiting for someone or something to come out. he was only itching for a fight. "chill out." came from the snappy jason who was leaning against the wall, a literal book in his hands. "you're gonna take someone's fuckin' eye out with that thing."
"are you reading, little wing?" a smirk quirked on his face even from behind the mask. he couldn't help but find it amusing that while waiting for someone to come along to bash their head into the concrete ground, jason had stopped for a little reading time.
but jason seemed in no mood for any games. "fuck off." it was apparent that he didn't want to be here from the start, grumpy as ever and losing enough sleep as it was but sheesh. dick had to roll his eyes, wondering if his brother should just get a lobotomy or something. he wondered if jason would be happier, less snippy. he wondered if jason would stare at him like a dead corpse walking, though he had to question was that better than the stinking attitude that he used now.
the sound of a ding! from his phone caused him to pull it out.
little love do you know what time you'll be home? read, just now.
dick glanced to the time on his phone, it read three thirty. one problem, you had work at six.
dickie!! i'm not sure darling everything okay? read, just now.
with nervousness seeping into his veins, he watched as your text message bubbles appeared, disappeared, appeared again, disappeared again and finally appeared again.
little love im okay be safe, love you read, just now.
but for dick, that simply wasn't enough.
he glanced to jason who didn't so much as look up from the cream coloured pages.
then, dick glanced out to the open streets of gotham, filled with... nothingness. it was one of those nights where nothing happened and they sat positioned on the rooftop of the tallest building in all of gotham. i mean, nothing had happened all night so surely, jason would be fine on his own, right?
before thinking, dick's fingers were pressing against the screen, typing up your contact and then pressing the phone to his ear. this caught jason's attention however dick merely walked further away so that he wouldn't be able to hear their conversation. although, he didn't seem too interested, rolling his eyes, presumedly of the fact that he was merely jealous that grayson had love and he was stuck reading a romance book, then looking back down at the pages and flicking one over.
it wasn't until the fourth ring that he heard the echo from your side. "hey, baby." he muttered tiredly, just knowing you were there was a kind of relief.
"hi." he heard your voice through the phone but you didn't seem as chirpy as normal. if anything, there was a slight sniffle to your tone, as though you'd been crying.
it didn't take a vigilante to figure that much out. he assumed that was why you'd taken so long to answer, trying to stop yourself from sounding all sniffly. but even if you had, dick still knew you better than anyone else in gotham. "it's late." he spoke, kicking a pebble against the ground. "why're you up?"
then he heard it, those dreadful two words that had you tearing up at the mere thought of it. "can't sleep." and dick knew that it wasn't just the type of 'can't sleep' due to the fact that you were on your phone or too engrossed in a book or tv show. it was the type that screamed at him right in the face.
your insomnia.
dick had found out about your insomnia before you were even officially together. he remembered seeing you all down so much, eyes half lidded as you stared at the glass of water in front of you, looking at it as though it were a science experiment. at first, when you walked in looking like that he assumed it was because you were upset about something. and dick being the respectful gentleman that he was, he chose not to ask about it as he didn't see it fit to be his place. however, when you came rubbing your temple, placing your head on the table he soon realised it was much more than that.
the insomnia you suffered with was enough to bring you to tears, as it was now.
"oh, baby." his tone turned soft, ready to comfort. "have you tried the weighted blanket, hm?" that always seemed to help when he wasn't there to wrap you up.
unfortunately, you only made a displeased sound. "mmh, too warm." where dick was standing, the heavy breeze on his shoulders, he wished it was he that was too warm rather than the cold that enveloped him now.
either way, he still pitied you, cooing softly. "i'll be right there." he spoke through the phone but before you could protest, he was speaking again. "I love you."
he couldn't see you, but he could imagine the soft look coming over your features. "I love you too but―"
"see you soon, m'love."
and you were cut off.
he turned to jason who was still with his back against the wall, stupid book in his hands. "the missus alright?" he spoke boredly, still flicking the page as though he had no actual interest in dick's love life.
but dick knew better than that. as disinterested as he may have liked to look, dick knew he secretly liked you, and that was a fact. jason never liked the girls dick dated, never liked much to do with dick but you, he knew you were good for him. "yes but i have a favour." and by the time he was looking up from the book, dick was already giving him them big begging eyes.
he rolled his eyes, turning over the corner of the page. many believe that turning the corners is destroying them, jason would have to beg to differ, it was loving them. "what is it?"
"patrol is slow tonight."
"it is."
"do me this one favour, little wing, please?"
"say it."
"you really like destroying my pride, don't you?"
"It's a little entertaining, yes."
and so that was how the man had rid himself of the nightly patrol. dick didn't like asking for favours nor did he do it often. perhaps that was why jason had let him off so easily this time. or perhaps it was because he knew that dick would soon owe him the same favour in response. 
whatever the case, dick still found himself jogging down the street, your guys’ shared home on wide display. he couldn’t help but smile at the mere sight of it. thinking about it just made his heart swell, you and him, in your very own home. dick didn’t particularly believe in fairytales but if he did, this was sure to be one of them.
he pushed open the front door, taking in the silence that hung heavy in the house but the various lights that you’d left on, a god awful habit. usually, he’d great you with that funny, playful “honey, i’m home!” holding his jacket and bag out, waiting for you to come running into his arms, wrapping your legs around him and holding onto him as though you would never let him go on patrol again.
sometimes, he wished he could give you that.
it was no surprise that you were innocent to the world. you hadn’t seen nor faced the dangers he had, you hadn’t looked death in the eye like him. and for that, he was glad. your soul was too pretty to get scarred. 
instead of the usual playfulness, he merely mulled his bag over towards the living room door, deciding to leave it there until morning. It was filled with his nightwing costume along with his weapons and so on. but dick didn’t believe in carrying that around you. more often than not, he’d leave it somewhere along the door so that he could hide it in the back of his wardrobe when you were busy.
of course, you knew he was nightwing but that didn’t mean he wanted to toss around that danger around you.
he shuffled the shoes off of his feet, now clad in a grey hoodie along with a black sweatpants. the person he was when he wasn’t dressing as a bird.
he was careful not to make too much noise along the stairs to scare you but enough that you could hear he was home, so you were prepared to face him. “baby?” he called out after making the stairs creak, just so you didn’t fear it was someone else out there and not your beloved boyfriend.
instead of a response, he heard a sniffle coming from the bedroom. 
peeling the door open, he stuck his head inside, fluffy black hair peeking in to see you sat atop the bed, grey sheets surrounding you as you sniffled, pathetically. but it didn’t make dick judgemental, when had dick ever been judgemental towards you? instead, his features turned soft.
“hey, hey.” barely in the door and he was already soothing you, though would he really have it any other way? “wh’s the matter?” though he already knew the matter, however that didn’t stop him from sitting himself on the bed, allowing you to wrap your legs around him, sitting atop his lap.
the temperature of the house and the hot skin of your legs was enough to tell him why you’d been so warm.
instead of responding, you sniffled and cried like the crybaby you were. but that was okay, dick didn’t mind having you as his personal crybaby as long as it was he who was wiping away your tears. 
his nose nudged your cheek, attempting to see your face but you only shoved it further into the crook of his neck, not truthfully wanting to face him though how badly you ached for his comfort. “c’mon, lemme see my pretty girl, hm? wanna see your pretty face.” 
the way his hands felt against your waist and your thighs, soothing the plush skin as if trying to coax you to look at him. and it worked, the tenderness that he used and the way everything seemed so… possible. you finally managed to pull your tear-stained face from the crook of his neck, looking at him with that pretty pout of yours.
and didn’t his heart just melt?
even when you were full of tears with a large pout implanted on your mouth, you were still the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. his thumbs were already making a move to soothe your under eyes, wiping away your pretty tears, like diamonds down your cheeks. “there she is, atta girl.” the way he praised you was enough to have your cheeks turning pink, even in your state. 
dick always knew how to fix every problem. 
he was like bob the builder only he was repairing your damaged feelings and little broken heart.
but as much as dick loved taking care of you, his heart did break a little at your tears. your cheeks were passed stained, tears collecting in your under eyes and trickling down your cheeks, softly yet the sniffles still emitted from you. you were his girl, he’d do just about anything to please you and truthfully, seeing you hurt… hurt.
“tell me what i can do.” he whispered against the warm air of the room. he wanted to fix this, he wanted to make sure you slept well but most importantly, he wanted to make sure you didn’t have to cry like this again. “did you take the melatonin?” you nodded your head. “will i make you some tea? run you a bath?” 
you’d been to hundreds of sleep specialists, doctors, so on.
everyone always gave you in around the same ideas. they’d tell you to work out before you went to bed but that was the thing they didn’t understand, it wasn’t because you weren’t physically tired that you couldn’t sleep, you were exhausted. yet it was your mind that couldn’t seem to rest. they’d tell you drink some camomile tea and you’d be on the mend, that was seven years ago.
you sniffled, looking at the one thing that had ever made it easy for you to sleep.
him. 
“jus’ want you.” you mumbled out, thinking you sounded rather selfish. I mean, would anyone disagree? it was unlikely. you’d pulled your boyfriend out of patrol in the middle of the night just so he could help you sleep. you felt downright awful.
but dick? no, his heart was only melting right in front of you, as though you’d just told him that you were adopting a bunny and naming it after him (that’d given you an idea for later). “I’m right here, honey.” he pulled you back towards him again, his hands rubbing up and down your back ever so gently, enough to have you turning to putty at the feeling of his finger tips. 
you sniffled, eventually pulling away and using your arm to wipe your face. “what time is it?” you questioned, now realising that you hadn’t so much as glanced towards a clock in… you weren’t sure how long, you kind of needed a clock to tell those kinds of things. 
his fingers were gently tracing across the softness of your cheek, brushing the loose strands of your hair behind your ear, like they did in those romantic movies. “‘s almost four, m’love.” 
you practically whined at that. “i have work soon.” in approximately two hours. you contemplated not sleeping at all. but you knew that whenever you did that, you surely regretted it sooner rather than later and you’d be taking naps anywhere, through paperwork and in one of those little uncomfortable office chairs.
dick wouldn’t have it. “you’re not going.” he stated briskly to which your brows furrowed. “angel, i’m not leaving you leave the house like this, alright? we both know i make more than enough to support us both until our old age and i know you want to work, that’s okay, but i’m not going to have you breaking your back for minimum wage, got it?” 
slowly, you nodded your head with your teeth wrapping over your bottom lip. “got it.” you mumbled, all flustered.
dick couldn’t help but grin. “good girl.” he then tapped the inside of your thigh. “come on, into bed.” 
and how could you refuse when he spoke to you in that tone that told you whatever he said, goes. whether he was telling you to get outside right now and fly a kite or suggesting bungee jumping in the morning, what did it matter? 
you nodded your head before climbing into the dark grey sheets. you and dick took turns picking the sheets. on his weeks, he’d choose those grey, dark coloured sheets, sometimes black, rarely blues. you always went with pale pink ones or those pretty white ones with little flowers, hearts or so on engraved in it.
you were sure that any pattern on white made your heart just swell.
dick climbed into the bed after you, switching off the lamp light on his way and laying across the comfortable mattress. he helped you move so that your head was positioned on his chest, listening to his lulling breaths and heartbeats, slowly rising and falling as your head moved along with it.
“I dragged you out of patrol.” you mumbled into the dark only moments after the light had been switched off.
dick brushed you off, though he knew that the worry could eat you from the inside and out, like a worm with an apple, rotting it the entire way through, never knowing when to stop. he never blamed you, of course, but sometimes he did curse that beautiful, intricate mind of yours, hoping one day it would decide to treat you a little better. “it was a slow night.” 
you could invision jason all alone, though when you tried to imagine it all you could think of was him either flirting or doing some kind of a ‘dirty talk’ with the enemy, unintentionally of course. everything he said had sort of a flirty tone to it, even with a blood covered face and uttering a death threat, perhaps it was because he’d still somehow manage to slip a petname in. “i’m sor―”
but before you could get the sentence out, his arms were wrapping around your own. “shh, shh.” mumbling as he shook you gently, as though you were a baby. “don’t apologise, princess.” 
you found yourself sighing, snuggling yourself into him as your eyes began to droop, feeling awful heavy, with a yawn, your mouth parted. “you know, i’ve been to so many doctors…” your voice extra low as he could tell the tiredness was taking over your feeble body. “‘n they give me the… worst ideas ever. one of them even told me i should get a treadmill and put it in my room.” he huffed out an airy chuckle. “think i finally found the medicine.” 
his brows furrowed. if you’d had a medicine, how come you weren’t taking it? how come you still lay awake at night when he wasn’t there? “what’s that?” 
poor, oblivious, stupid dick. 
“you.” 
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main masterlist/dick's masterlist
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 months ago
Text
Crash and Burn 1
Warnings: non/dubcon, power dynamics, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
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My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: Tony Stark
Summary: a powerful man comes crashing into your life. Literally.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
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Bang! The impact shakes you so hard you nearly drop your book. You sit up, wide-eyed, and look around. What the heck was that?
You stand and leave the book on the short bench squeezed in along the table. You go to the door and twist the latch. As you open it, dust mists in the air and the scent of smoke singes your nose. You step onto even ground and search for the disturbance.
You turn to face the trailer and the black cloud pluming up from behind it. The entire thing lurches as an electronic whir and zap cuts through the air. You dodge put of the way as the window bursts and shatters over you.
You scramble back on your heels, shielding yourself behind an arm, and cry out. Your neighbours cluster before their own homes and watch, caught in awe as the trailer shakes on its foundation. The wall burst open as a dark shape crashes through and lands in the patchy grass behind you.
You turn to stare down at the mangled metal. Broken tubes drip neon blue fluid and the lights flicker and die. Whatever it is, it's useless now. Just like the wall.
Another crash before you can investigate. Another window rains shards into the dirt and you slap your hands to your head. At least you have witnesses, though you don't know that they have any idea what's going on.
Another tremble before the door swings open. What looks to be a cyborg tramps down the stairs and dusts itself off. You grimace helplessly at the red and gold armour.
"Iron man?" A chirpy childish voice quavers from behind you.
No way? As if to bask in the recognition, the mask retracts and reveals a man's face. It is in fact the Tony Stark. He smirks beneath his goatee and winks at the kid.
"Hey, little guy." He shoots a finger gun as he struts over to the kid.
A long, loud groan comes from behind him. You turn back to the trailer as it starts to lean. Oh no!
Time slows as you watch the whole thing fold in on itself. You stumble further back as it sends up another plume of dirt and dusty. In a moment, you're swept away from the wreckage out of the way of a broken board flying in your direction.
Tony Stark, Iron Man, playboy, billionaire, and wrecking ball has his arm around you as he puts you back in your feet. You stare at the ruin of your home
Your entire life.
"Damn, good thing you got out of there," he snickers.
You shrug him off and step forward. "Hey, sweetheart, you're not gonna wanna do that. There's smoke and that means--" As he grabs you again, a crackle sounds and orange flames lick out from beneath the splinters and drywall.
"No!" You cry out. "What the-- the trailer-- you--"
"Relax, sweetheart, you should be thankful you didn't get trapped in all that. Could be a hell of a lot worse."
You wriggle in his grasp, "that's my home! What am I gonna tell me mom?"
"I'll buy you a new one," he rolls his eyes.
"A new one? That's not the point--" you scoff and stomp your foot. You face the heap again. There are things you can't replace and your mom will make sure to mention as much.
“I'll have my people get in touch.” He struts away and toes the mass of metal on the ground. “Gotta call in the big boys.”
He puts his hand to his ear and talks to no one in particular. You can't look away. The flames build and build as you watch it all go up in flame.
You peek over at the man in his red and gold armour. He grins as children crowd around and he signs their comic books and frisbees and action figures. He's all charm and cheer.
He has no worry about the mess he's made. He'll go home to his penthouse and his bank account. He says he'll buy you a new trailer but that's not going to happen overnight.
The police show up, and the fire trucks, then men in black suits. The lot is corded off with yellow tape as you stand listless on the sidelines. You don't know what else to do.
“Oh god! Oh god! What happened?” Your mom blusters up beside you. She's still in her work uniform. You look at her and shrug. You can't even put into words the chaos of the last few hours.
You look around and point just as Iron Man's helmet flips up and he flies off in a flash. You stare after him and drop your arm. You huff.
“I have no idea, mum,” you utter. “No idea.”
She shrieks and flags down an officer, “sir, I want to know what the hell happened to my home! Right now!”
“Ma'am. This is a matter for law enforcement. We're investigating–”
“Investigating!? My trailer is a pile of rubble!” She cries out.
Her shrill hollers fade into a murmur as your gaze zeros in on the ash. This isn't fair. He gets to walk away, well, fly away, and you have to figure all this out.
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spaceshipellie · 1 year ago
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we were never just friends
ellie williams x reader
part two (part one, part three, part four)
summary: modern!ellie, both in their mid twenties. ellie and reader have been friends for years, their friendship has always been somewhat flirty but nothing has ever happened. not yet anyway…
warnings: smut at the end (18+ mdni), reader cheating on her gf with ellie, fingering (r receiving), oral (e receiving), fluff (e+r), angst (r+gf)
author’s note: i was screaming and kicking my feet writing this it was too much hsjxkdndbfx i hope you enjoy ♡
word count: 5k approx
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you could hear a banging. your head was smushed into the pillows and you were still half asleep. it took you a minute to come to and realise that the banging was knocking on your bedroom door. you groaned a sleepy “come in.”
ellie pushed the door open with two coffees in hand and came to sit on the end of your bed.
“morning.”
you mumbled a “morning” back as you rubbed your eyes and slowly sat up. you felt the duvet slip down and quickly remembered you went to bed only wearing panties last night.
“fuck,” your eyes widened and your hand slapped down on your chest to hold the covers in place, an embarrassed blush crept onto your cheeks.
“sorry, i didn’t see anything,” ellie laughed, handing you a coffee and chucking you a hoodie that was lying on the floor next to her feet.
“thanks,” you hugged the hot cup after pulling the hoodie on. you felt pretty hungover and dreaded to think what you looked like.
“why are you so chirpy this morning?”
“i’m not as much of a lightweight as you,” ellie smirked. you playfully rolled your eyes at her before checking your phone.
kate 🩵
8:39am
morning babe, how was your night? xx
you
9:02am
really fun thanks, did you wanna look at california plans today? xx
kate🩵
9:03am
aw good. yes, i can come over later xx
you
9:03am
come over whenever xx
you locked your phone and looked up to see ellie looking at you. she quickly averted her gaze to her hands holding the mug and started fidgeting with her silver rings. your eyes darted down to look at them too.
“what’re you doing today?”
“kate’s coming over later, we’re gonna look at booking a beach holiday in california somewhere,” you smiled, excited at the idea of lounging on a warm beach day in, day out.
“oh, nice. first holiday together?”
“yeah, pretty exciting.”
“yeah, very,” ellie half smiled, still playing with her rings. “how is she anyway? i haven’t seen her in ages.”
“she’s good, she works a lot so that’s probably why, but yeah good.”
there was a small pause before you spoke again.
“what about you? you been seeing anyone lately?”
her eyes snapped up to yours, smirking. “no, you’d know if i was.”
“i don’t know, you might have some secret double life i don’t know about.”
“actually yeah, it’s probably about time i told you,” she dramatically took in a breath, “i’ve been in a secret relationship with hayley williams for the past 6 years.”
“oh?”
“we’re actually married. that’s why we have the same last name.”
“i’m offended you didn’t invite me to the wedding.”
“it had to be private for…” she laughed and stammered, “top secret…security reasons?”
“too bad, i wish i was there to object.”
she leaned her body forward a bit. “what? for me?”
“no, for hayley williams you idiot.”
“right, right. makes sense,” her voice trailed off before she finally said, “ok, i better go. the band were really good last night.”
“yeah they were great! hopefully they’ll be there again,” you smiled up at her as she stood up to leave.
˚ · • . ° .
it was later in the day and you were sat on the sofa, feet propped up on the coffee table whilst kate sat next to you with her laptop open, browsing places to stay.
“ooh look at this one,” she said, turning her laptop towards you.
“oh my god it’s so beautiful, but probably too expensive for me.”
“well, we want to go somewhere nice though.”
“i know, of course, but something like this is just a bit too much out of my budget,” you said, feeling a bit embarrassed.
you knew kate made more money that you and was naturally more money orientated. of course, you were ambitious and cared about that sort of thing too, but you were more of a ‘rather be poor and happy than rich and sad’ person. kate on the other hand, was the opposite. you heard her sigh next to you and move her laptop back to keep scrolling.
“what?”
“nothing.”
“tell me,” you pried.
“it’s.. ah, it’s just that when i first brought up going to california you were so excited and now we’re actually looking at booking it, you keep saying no to things.”
you were a bit taken back. you didn’t think you were being negative about anything, you just genuinely couldn’t afford any of the options kate put in front of you. they were amazing but to put it bluntly, expensive as fuck. besides, anytime you put forward a suggestion, she found something wrong with it. it’s too far from town (meaning it was a 15 minute walk instead of 5), the beach looks boring, there’s not enough restaurants. you didn’t want to say anything, but it was starting to piss you off.
“i am excited. it’s just,” you sighed, “i just thought it mattered more that we had fun together, not having the fanciest hotel or whatever.”
“we’ll have fun, but i don’t want to go and stay in some shitty place.”
“i never said we should? we can still find a nice place.”
“then why do you keep saying no?”
“because i don’t have a bottomless pit of money?”
both your tones had shifted to annoyance. your body language had become more rigid and your brows were slightly furrowed.
“ok whatever,” kate sighed again, going back to her laptop, turning the screen as if she didn’t care if you could see it or not.
“no, sorry, why are you being weird with me?”
“i’m not being weird.”
you almost wanted to laugh.
“but, you are? you get mad at me for not having enough money and then just say ‘whatever,’ how does that help anything?”
she shut her laptop and turned to you.
“i don’t know what you want me to say, but maybe you need to start taking better care of your money or something so we can do things like this.”
“sorry, are you my fucking mother or something? i’m fine with money. sure, i have to save and budget and all that but who the fuck doesn’t?”
“i’m not trying to tell you what to do i’m just saying that it’s not a bad idea to think about earning more. it’s good to be ambitious, babe, and i know what you do doesn’t earn very much.”
she tried to put a hand on your knee but you shot up to your feet, starting to feel overwhelmed by how quickly this conversation had gone downhill.
“kate, you are literally telling me what to do. am i supposed to just sack my job in and do something i don’t care about just so that i can have more money?”
she looked up at you, a perplexed expression across her face. “why wouldn’t you want to get a bigger income?”
“it’s not tha–oh my god,” you felt like you needed to pace, adrenaline taking over you. “not everybody needs to be earning the biggest wage they possibly can, ok? don’t get me wrong, money is nice, i get that and i get that it’s very important to you, but i could never sacrifice my happiness for it, that’s just not me. i love what i do and you know that so don’t start trying to make me feel like it’s not good enough for you all of a sudden.”
she was silent for a moment, processing your rant. she looked away from you and you looked at her, trying to catch her eye again, anxiously waiting for her to say something.
“i gotta go.” she started shoving her laptop in her bag and stood up.
“what?”
“i think we need to take a minute before we look at this again, ok?”
you felt stupid. and you hated the fact that this made you feel stupid.
“ok,” you mumbled.
you stood there, dumbfounded. this was supposed to be a fun thing for you both to do together and before you’d even reached step one it had gone wrong. you understood that kate was a person who liked to climb the ladder and earn as much as she could and you were happy if that’s how she wanted to live her life. however, she couldn’t seem to accept the fact that you’re not like that. you enjoyed your job and admittedly, you weren’t anything close to rich but who cares? you enjoyed your life and that’s all that matters.
instead of sitting around feeling crap about yourself you decided to call ellie. it didn’t take long for her to pick up.
“hey.”
“hey.”
“everything alright?”
“yeah yeah, i just, um, what are you doing?”
“you ok? you sound upset.”
“no no, i’m fine els, i just…” you felt silly that you were nearly in tears right now but you couldn’t help it.
“are you at home? want me to come over?”
“only if you’re not busy.”
“i’ll be there in 10,” she practically cut you off.
“oh, ok. see you in a bit. thank you.”
“see you in a bit.” and she hung up.
you let out a shaky breath before deciding to wash your face and freshen up before ellie got to yours, not wanting to end up sobbing in front of her. sure enough, she was at your place in 10 minutes and when you opened the door she gave you a sympathetic look and pulled you in for a hug.
“what wrong?”
“it’s stupid.” your voice was muffled by her shoulder.
“i’m sure it’s not,” she said, pulling away and dragging you to sit down. you both sat facing each other, sideways on the sofa, one leg bent and the other hanging of the edge. she looked at you, waiting for you to speak.
“kate and i got into a fight about money and it just really pissed me off.”
“what did she say?”
“she was saying i need to be better with money and that i should earn more and all this bullshit. we were trying to book a hotel and we just couldn’t agree on anything so she just decided to leave and fuck,” you groaned, “it just wound me up.”
ellie listened intently, pausing before speaking to let you finish.
“what a fucking asshole.”
“ellie!” you slapped her leg lightly, trying not to smile. she laughed.
“what? it’s true. that’s a fucked up thing to say.”
“yeah,” your voice was quiet. she ran a hand through her hair.
“i mean who the fuck cares where you stay, more important to just be together, you know?”
“that’s what i said.”
you looked at her and you were both silent for a moment, the overwhelming cloud you felt before starting to evaporate.
“so, what are you gonna do?”
“i don’t know,” you sighed, “we’ll still do it, it was just a stupid fight but i guess we’ll have to compromise.”
ellie just nodded, puffing out her cheeks slightly.
“i hope i didn’t drag you away from anything.”
“aw no,” she waved her hand in dismissal, “was just at jesse’s.”
“no, ellie, i said don’t bother if you’re busy!”
“it’s fine, honestly. he understands and i didn’t want you to be upset.”
“you’re so sweet.”
“am not.”
“you so are.”
“i’m not sweet.” she hoped you couldn’t see her cheeks flushing pink. you could.
“you’re the sweetest to me.”
“ok, yeah, i mean,” she stumbled over her words, “i can be, but only for you.”
“see?” you grinned, putting your hands either side of her face and squeezing slightly. a breath got caught in her throat at you touching her. you let your hands fall down, landing on her knees.
“so,” you started, “you wanna make me feel better by letting me beat you at mario kart?”
˚ · • . ° .
two hours had passed of you and ellie sat on your floor, backs against the sofa, playing video games. kate hadn’t messaged or called. you hadn’t either, but honestly, you didn’t really know what to say. you were still a bit annoyed and wished she would apologise before you just let it slide. your mood had definitely improved though by having ellie around. you were scrolling through your phone whilst ellie was in the bathroom when a notification popped up from your groupchat with her and dina.
dina
4:47pm
bitchesss guess what
freya’s lakeside cabin is free next weekend and she’s invited you guys and kate to come with us
for free! it’ll just be food etc we need to buy
you
4:48pm
omg YES
tell freya thank you and i love her!!!
i’ll ask kate later
ellie
4:49pm
the perfect slasher movie location
sounds cool i’m in
dina
4:49pm
good! i’ll let you know more soon
ellie then emerged from the bathroom and sat back beside you. you looked at her like a kid in a sweet shop.
“how fucking cool is that!”
“i know, gonna be fun. typical that i’m fifth wheeling though,” she joked.
“oh you won’t be, dina and freya aren’t like that and me and kate are–“ you stopped yourself, “well, let’s see if she even comes.”
˚ · • . ° .
she didn’t. kate was working. which was fine, you thought. it was short notice and things were still awkward between you two. you felt terrible for it but you were kind of glad that it was just going to be the four of you. that way, considering everything recently, you knew it would be fun and stress free.
you could also do with a break from the strain of booking this california trip. in the end, you had booked a place. it was still too expensive for you really but you were getting tired of going back and forth, plus a compromise of some kind needed to be made and you were trying to be positive about it and not fuck it up further. after all, you were still looking forward to going away with your girlfriend for the first time and assumed that this dispute would soon blow over.
you lugged your bags out of the boot of freya’s car and followed everyone up to the front door of the cabin. you were surrounded by a huge lake, a dense forest and fields that spread themselves out for miles. was it the perfect location for a horror? yes it was, but you were going to have the best time here, you could tell.
“this is so fucking cool,” ellie said.
“thanks, it’s my sister’s and her husband’s technically but they let me use it a lot,” freya said.
she was a sweet girl, really kind and easy to get on with. dina had only been dating her for about 3 months but they were really cute together.
“thank you for inviting us,” you said.
“oh no problem, i’m glad you could make it.”
as freya held the door open for you all to walk through, she asked if you wanted her to give you a tour and show you where your rooms would be. thinking it was easiest to do that first you said yes.
the cabin was nothing short of stunning with its wooden beamed ceilings and open fire place. it also had a fire pit outside near the lake which you hoped you’d get to use. after being shown the bedrooms you dumped your stuff in yours. ellie’s was opposite and dina and freya were in the master bedroom a bit further down the hall. you sent kate a quick message to say you’d arrived safely and started unpacking things like your face wash and toothbrush. you didn’t bother unpacking your clothes seeing as you were only here for two nights. you heard talking downstairs so left your room to join them.
“what did you guys wanna do first?” freya asked you all.
“i really want to go swimming in the lake,” dina suggested, “if you guys are up for that.”
“yeah sounds fun.” you looked at ellie.
“yeah sure.”
you went back upstairs to change into a bikini and also grabbed a towel, some shorts and a baggy t-shirt to throw on after. joining the others downstairs, dina and freya already nearly out the door, you couldn’t help but look at ellie. she was wearing loose shorts and a sports bra style bikini top.
“you’ve got a new tattoo,” you said, touching her upper arm softly as you looked at it.
“got it a couple months ago,” she watched your face.
“you’re so secretive.”
she just laughed and shrugged, muttering “come on,” before holding the door open for you.
it was late in the afternoon and the sun was still warm but not too hot, and you still had a couple hours left of daylight.
shrieks met your ears as dina and freya jumped off the edge of the little wooden platform into the water. you put your stuff down on a chair round the fire pit, where they’d put theirs and ran excitedly to the edge.
“you jumping in?” you said, turning to ellie.
“maybe.”
“if you don’t, i’ll push you,” you teased, grabbing her shoulders. she laughed and her hands flew to yours, scrambling to grab them to prevent you from pushing her off the edge.
“don’t you fucking dare.”
“i will.”
“i know you will.” her body twisted trying to grab your wrists, fighting against you pushing. she tried to ignore how your boobs pressed into her. before you knew it, you were falling and crashing into the cool water. you came back up, flapping your arms and rubbing water out of your eyes screaming, “ellie!”
she was still standing on the edge, hand over her mouth, doubling over in laughter.
“i’m sorry!”
“no, you’re not.”
“no, i’m not.”
you could hear dina and freya laughing in the background which made you turn. a huge splash of water suddenly came over your head as ellie jumped in.
“fucking hell, are you trying to drown me?”
“yes.”
“charming.”
you could see dina and freya kissing so you made an ‘oop’ face at ellie and you both laughed. the sun was really bringing out her freckles. she’d always get weird if you ever called her pretty, but it was only the truth. she was pretty, and you’d always thought so.
the four of you swam around leisurely, talking about this and that for a while before deciding to get out. it was starting to get dark so freya turned on the outdoor fairy lights that were draped in a tree near the fire pit.
you all took turns using the downstairs shower and grabbed a couple of beers before sitting around the fire you had started.
“so, anyone got any ghost stories to tell?” dina joked.
˚ · • . ° .
you all talked for what felt like forever, laughing until your stomachs ached. the conversation now had seemed to split off though into you and ellie, whilst dina and freya giggled and blushed, dina’s legs thrown over freya’s lap.
“ok well… we’re gonna go to bed,” dina said, grabbing freya’s hand. you could see them smiling into kisses as they reached the front door.
“oh! young love,” you declared jokingly and ellie laughed.
“you wish kate was here?” she asked.
you paused, thinking.
“things are still a bit awkward between us, is it bad that i’m kind of glad she isn’t?”
you toyed nervously with the hair tie on your wrist. ellie shifted in her seat, mouth moving as if to speak but stopping herself, thinking of something better to say.
“if you’re happy then i don’t think it’s a bad thing.”
you smiled at her. her eyes bore into you and she almost looked nervous, her hands fidgeting with her rings.
“i am happy right now,” you voiced.
“good.”
there was a moment of peaceful silence between you before you suddenly jumped up and grabbed her hand. she looked up at you, waiting.
“look at the stars with me? seeing as we’re here.”
her eyes softened, a doting smile covering her face as you both laid down on the ground, staring up at the dark night sky.
“it’s beautiful,” you whispered.
“it is.”
“we should go.”
“where? to space?”
“no, to starbucks,” you quipped, “yes to space!”
she turned her head to look at you, looking at the sky. she admired the glint in your eye and the way your cheeks looked when you smiled. her voice was hushed and soft.
“i’ll take you.”
you turned your head to look at her.
“how will we get there?”
“i’ll build us a spaceship.”
“oh with your excellent handyman skills?”
“yeah,” she laughed, “with my excellent handyman skills.”
“can it have a mirrorball inside? ooh and a record player and–and a mini bar.”
she laughed at your ridiculous requests for this hypothetical spaceship.
“it can have whatever you want.”
she bit her lip. your smiles faded as you looked at each other, taking in each other’s features under the dim moonlight. maybe that one beer had hit you too hard or maybe it was just the atmosphere of being at a lakeside cabin, but you couldn’t ignore the way your stomach flipped as ellie looked at you.
“well,” your voice accidentally came out a bit shaky, “it sounds almost too good to be true.”
she propped herself up on her forearm, now looking down at you as she laid on her side.
“does it?”
you slowly nodded your head and your eyes must have darted between her eyes and her lips because she leaned in, as if to test what you would do.
you shocked yourself when you lifted your head slightly, causing your noses to graze each other. your lips then ghosted over each other for a moment, both unsure if you should keep going. your brain felt foggy and you couldn’t think about anything else but her.
then, just as you thought you must have blacked out and were dreaming, she pressed a soft kiss to your lips and your body melted into the ground. it was sweet and delicate. her hand came up to hold the side of your face and yours held onto her arm. everything felt right and your earlier statement still held it’s truth, you were so happy but—
“oh my god,” you freaked, gripping her shoulder. not to push her completely away, just enough to stop the kiss.
“what am i doing?” you brought your other hand to your lips, touching them.
“fuck, i’m sorry,” ellie sighed and she moved off of you.
“no, i’m sorry. i’m the one with–“ you quickly sat up, feeling a wave of anxious nausea.
“i’m the one with a girlfriend.”
she sat up next to you, arms resting on her bent knees.
your brain was going a million miles per hour trying to process everything. one, you had just kissed your best friend, two, you had just cheated on your girlfriend and three, you had just fucking kissed your best friend! ellie! the girl you’d been close to for years and nothing had ever happened. the girl who knew you better than anyone else, warts and all. the girl who a part of you wished was still kissing you.
“let’s just forget it happened,” she sounded defeated but she was probably right.
“yeah, yeah ok,” you agreed, trying to convince yourself that this was fine, “maybe we should just go to bed.”
she nodded and you both stood up, brushing some grass off of your ass before you both slumped towards the cabin.
“after you,” she mumbled, opening the front door. you whispered a thanks before you both ascended the stairs, trying to be quiet so you didn’t disturb dina and freya. you reached your doors, which were directly opposite each other. you looked at each other for a moment before you awkwardly poked her in the arm.
“ok then… night, ellie.”
you turned to open your door but suddenly felt a hand grip your arm. the pull forced you to spin around to face her, her other hand catching your waist and pinning your body to hers.
her hasty lips caught yours in another kiss, your hands flew to her hair and shoulders. this kiss was a far cry from the sweet one you shared outside. it was hungry and frantic.
you broke for air, foreheads pressed together, hands still holding each other close.
“let’s not think about it,” she said breathlessly. you couldn’t think anyway. you just nodded your head and pulled her into another open mouthed kiss.
she felt for your bedroom door handle behind you and pushed you into the room, immediately collapsing on the bed. the room was only illuminated by the moonlight coming in through the window. her body weight pressed into you as she deepened the kiss.
eagerly, she started unzipping your shorts making you buck your hips up. she shoved them back down with her hand forcefully and resumed pulling your shorts off. you blushed in embarrassment at how wet you already were and her finger tips fluttered at the waistband of your underwear.
“can i touch you?” she asked, her voice low.
“please.”
she wasted no time in bringing a finger down to press on your clothed clit. you moaned loudly, suddenly slapping a hand over your mouth.
“you gotta be quiet, baby.”
you frantically nodded, desperate for her to continue. she could feel the wet patch you had made and smirked to herself, pulling your underwear to the side and glided her middle finger through your slick folds.
“so fucking wet already,” she groaned. her finger collected your wetness before making slow, barely there circles on your clit.
“who is that for?” fuck you, you thought.
“y-you, ellie.”
her touch on your clit was so light it was making your body jolt at the sensitivity. your lips were parted and hers were ghosting over them, refusing any attempts you made at chasing a kiss.
she suddenly slid two fingers deep into you, restricting your moan with a hard, sloppy kiss. she moved them in and out a few times before curling them and hitting that spot over and over.
you whimpered when you felt her hand suddenly disappear but all she was doing was impatiently yanking your underwear off, muttering a “fuck” under her breath, before resuming her relentless pace.
she kissed you again to keep you quiet, as she quickly pulled her fingers out to rub circles on your clit and giving it a few taps before slipping them back inside.
your hands didn’t know what to do with themselves so with her free hand she grabbed one of your wrists and pinned it against the bed next to your head, using that along with her knees to hold herself up.
“oh fuck,” you cried.
“shh shh shh, i got you.”
your head was digging so hard into the pillow and you could feel yourself about to come. ellie could too by the way you clenched tightly around her.
“you gonna come, baby?”
you stumbled out a “yes” and lifted your head, begging for a messy kiss whilst she fucked you through your orgasm.
when you let out a soft sigh and your body relaxed, she kissed you on the forehead and slowly pulled her fingers out.
you looked up at her, feeling exhausted and in awe of the sight above you. you honestly felt drunk, even though you weren’t. she lifted her cum coated fingers up near your face and looked at them, not being able to decide whether she wanted to put them in her mouth or yours. you answered for her by taking her hand and swirling your tongue around her fingertips, before sucking them in completely.
“fuck,” her voice was quiet and husky, intoxicated by the way your pretty lips wrapped around her fingers. your eyes looking up at her at the same time nearly made her come in her boxers.
she was so mesmerised by you she didn’t even realise at first that you were sitting up, letting her fingers go with a pop, and shifting so that you were on top of her.
once her back hit the bed her hands went to your hips as you straddled her lap.
you pulled your t-shirt off, leaving you completely naked whilst she was still fully clothed. she practically gulped at the sight of your tits now on full display, a giddy smirk creeping onto her face. you trailed your hand down to the neckline of her t-shirt and tugged it. she got the message and took it off, throwing it across the room, not allowing her eyes to leave you for a second. your fingers traced over her nipple and down her stomach for a second making her flinch. you smiled to yourself and leant down to kiss her. her hands caressed your hips as you left kisses down her neck and then her stomach.
once you reached the waistband of her shorts you paused and looked up at her.
“can i?”
she nodded and you pulled her shorts and boxers down in one go, nestling yourself between her legs. you pushed her legs apart and licked a line up her cunt. she was also completely soaking, your tongue collecting the sweet taste when you started swirling it around her clit.
she grunted, gripping your hair in one hand. you worked your tongue around until she was basically shoving your head deeper into her.
“you taste so fucking good.”
she couldn’t help but grind herself against your tongue. but then you slipped a finger in and she was gone.
“oh god.” her voice was quiet and shaky.
you didn’t move your finger in and out, just curled and flicked it slowly whilst you continued assaulting her clit. soon enough she was gripping your hair tighter and coming on your tongue. she quickly pulled you up by your hair and slammed you into a kiss.
her hands grabbed your waist and she turned you both and pinned you to the bed again. she supported her weight on her forearms and looked down at you. you both stared at each other for a moment, slightly panting before you both burst out laughing.
she quickly put a finger on your lips and your hands flapped trying to cover her mouth as you both shushed each other.
she rolled off of you and laid on her back. you both slowly turned your heads to each other, again trying to stifle a laugh.
“what the fuck have we done?”
♡♡♡♡♡♡
tag list: @ximtiredx @mattm1964 @robinismywifee @gold-dustwomxn
an: sooo the hallway kiss was inspired by nick and jess in new girl… let me know what you think of this part!! 💜
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rafesapologist · 5 months ago
Text
the boy is mine ─ rafe cameron; chapter three
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summary: you were an erudite kook with her life ahead of her, very highly sought after by almost every man from figure 8 all the way to the cut. but you only wanted rafe cameron, and just in the typical nature of getting everything you wanted, you were going to have him.
warnings: dr*g use, alcohol, suggestive themes
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The following week at school was agonizing, brutal even. You were thrust back into the relentless rhythm of your usual routine: waking up at 6 AM, donning your stiff uniform, and enduring seven grueling hours of classes. You pushed through the school day only to return home and bury yourself in more studying. Normally, you approached this regimen with a resigned acceptance, but this week was different. This week, everything bothered you.
After the encounter at Sarah's house, you felt as though a fire had been ignited within you, a fervent flame that left you restless and craving more. The moment in the kitchen with Rafe had been electrifying, a tantalizing taste of something you had never experienced before. It was more than just a fleeting interaction; it was a revelation, a stark contrast to the monotony that had characterized your life until then. You realized you wanted more of that—more excitement, more unpredictability, more Rafe Cameron.
As you sat through each class, your mind drifted back to him, replaying every detail of your encounter. His touch, his gaze, the way he made you feel seen and alive. Each memory sent a thrill through you, making it harder to focus on the mundane tasks at hand. You found yourself staring out the window, daydreaming about what might happen next, how you could cross paths with him again, and what that might lead to.
This newfound desire clashed violently with your disciplined nature, creating an internal turmoil that you couldn't shake. The rigid structure of your life, once a source of comfort and stability, now felt suffocating. You longed for the excitement that Rafe embodied, a break from the relentless pursuit of academic excellence that your parents had drilled into you.
Every night, as you sat at your desk poring over textbooks, the thought of Rafe lingered at the edge of your consciousness, a tantalizing distraction that pulled you away from your studies. You wondered what he was doing, who he was with, and whether he ever thought about you. The questions spun through your mind, feeding the fire that had been lit within you.
By the time Friday rolled around, you were desperate for a change. The week had felt like an eternity, each day dragging on with excruciating slowness. You knew you couldn't keep going like this, caught between the expectations of your parents and your newfound yearning for something more. As you packed up your books and headed home, you resolved to find a way to see Rafe again. You needed to feel that spark, that electricity, just one more time at the least.
When you got home, you headed straight to your bedroom. Your parents, accustomed to your diligent study habits, didn't question your haste. The door clicked shut behind you, and you immediately grabbed your phone, dialing Sarah Cameron’s number. The seconds stretched painfully as it rang, your heart pounding faster with each passing moment. Finally, she answered, her voice bright and welcoming.
"Hey, Y/N!" Sarah’s chirpy tone filled the line, "What's up?"
"Sarah, hey," you responded, a smile spreading across your face. You began to pace the room, biting down on your lip, nervous but eager to ask her the question that had been burning inside you all week. "Are you doing anything tonight? We should get together and do something."
There was a brief pause on the other end, followed by a laugh. "Funny you ask! Actually, I was just thinking about calling you. There's a bonfire on the beach tonight. Some of the guys, and Rafe, are going to be there. You in?"
Your heart skipped a beat at the mention of Rafe’s name. "Yeah, that sounds perfect," you said, trying to keep your voice steady despite the excitement bubbling inside you. "What time?"
"Around eight," Sarah replied. "You can come over to my place first, and we can head there together."
"Great, see you then," you said, hanging up the phone. A sense of exhilaration washed over you as you looked at the clock, calculating the hours until you would see Rafe again.
You wasted no time getting ready, feeling a pressing need to outdo everyone else at the bonfire in hopes that Rafe’s attention would be solely on you. Each choice was careful and deliberate, your fingers lingering over fabrics and colors as you selected the perfect outfit. You settled on a simple sundress that hugged your figure in all the right places, its hem teasingly short, just grazing your thighs. The fabric accentuated your tan, making your skin glow with warmth.
You styled your hair into loose curls, aiming for an effortless beauty that suggested you hadn’t tried too hard, even though you had meticulously crafted every strand. Your makeup was a masterful blend of subtlety and allure, enhancing your natural features without appearing overdone. The delicate sweep of highlighter on your cheekbones caught the light just right, and the gentle curve of your eyeliner made your eyes pop, giving you an air of understated sophistication.
As you stood in front of the mirror, you felt a surge of confidence. You looked good, and you knew it. There was a thrill in the anticipation, in the possibility of what the night could bring. Your mind kept drifting back to the kitchen, to the way Rafe had looked at you, his gaze lingering, intense and unspoken. You wanted more of that, more of him, and tonight felt like the perfect opportunity.
Grabbing your bag, you took one last glance in the mirror, ensuring everything was perfect. The sun was setting, casting a golden glow through your window, a promise of the night to come. You took a deep breath, steadying your nerves, and headed out the door, your heart racing with excitement and the thrill of the unknown.
The drive to Sarah’s house felt like a blur, your mind occupied with thoughts of Rafe. When you arrived, the mansion stood grand and imposing, its windows reflecting the last rays of the setting sun. You hurried to the door, your steps quick and light, a smile already forming on your lips as you anticipated the evening ahead.
You knocked softly, your heart hammering in your chest as you waited for someone to open the door. With your arms crossed over your chest, you stood there, full of anticipation and nerves bubbling up in the pit of your stomach. Finally, the door swung open, and you were met with the face that had been preoccupying your mind for days—Rafe.
Your heart nearly stopped, breath hitching subtly at the sight of him. His tall, intimidating stature filled the doorway, his eyes meeting yours with an intensity that made you feel small and exposed. His smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, and he drawled, "Princeton."
The casual nickname sent a shiver down your spine, a mix of irritation and intrigue swirling within you. "Come in," he said, stepping aside with a languid grace that only heightened your awareness of him. You stepped into the house, and as the door clicked shut behind you, the air seemed to thicken with a charged anticipation.
Rafe leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest. His gaze swept over you with a deliberate slowness, his eyes taking in every detail of your sundress, your loose curls, and the way you tried to appear effortless. His scrutiny made your skin tingle, a warm flush creeping up your neck. "Sarah said you were coming to the bonfire tonight?" he asked, his voice low and smooth, each word deliberate and drawn out.
"Uh, yeah," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. "She invited me, so I thought I'd come."
Rafe's eyes narrowed slightly, the smirk never leaving his face. "Well, we're glad to have you," he said, his tone carrying a hint of something you couldn't quite place. "Should be a fun night."
You nodded, trying to keep your composure. "Yeah, I'm looking forward to it."
Rafe replied with a breathy, half-hearted laugh as he pushed off the doorframe, taking a slow step closer to you. His presence was almost overwhelming, each movement measured and deliberate. "Yeah, me too," he said, his tongue grazing his teeth slowly, his eyes flickering from your eyes to your chest.
There was a brief moment of silence between you and Rafe as he eyed you, and all you could do was stand there, engulfed in his daunting demeanor that made you feel ten times smaller under him. Your cheeks felt hot as you stood under his gaze, unsure of what to say or if you should speak at all.
Rafe's smirk deepened as he watched you, clearly enjoying the effect he had on you. His eyes darkened, filled with an intent that made your breath hitch. He took another step closer, the space between you shrinking, his body heat radiating toward you. "Sarah's upstairs getting ready," he spoke up suddenly, his voice low and hushed, the proximity making it feel like a secret meant just for you. "I'll see you there."
You managed a nod, your throat dry. "Okay," you whispered, barely able to find your voice.
He lingered for a moment longer, his eyes lingering on yours with a look that was impossible to decipher. The silence stretched, heavy and charged with unspoken words and lingering glances. It felt as if time had slowed, every second stretching into eternity, filled with the sound of your heartbeat thundering in your ears.
Finally, Rafe turned and walked away, leaving you to collect your scattered thoughts. As you stood there, your heart still pounding from the encounter, you couldn't help but replay the scene in your mind. The way he looked at you, the warmth of his breath as he spoke, the intensity of his gaze—it was all too much, yet not enough. His presence lingered in the air, like a tangible force you could still feel on your skin.
Your breath came in shallow, uneven bursts as you tried to steady yourself. The realization of how deeply he affected you settled in, an exhilarating and terrifying thought all at once. Part of you wanted to run after him, to chase that feeling, while another part urged caution, knowing the danger that came with someone like Rafe Cameron.
You shook away your thoughts and headed up the stairs to Sarah's room, determined to shift your focus back to getting ready for the bonfire. The encounter with Rafe had left you rattled, but you couldn’t afford to let it dominate your mind.
As you approached Sarah’s door, you knocked softly before pushing it open, stepping inside with caution. The room was warm and inviting, the soft glow of fairy lights casting a gentle hue across the space. Sarah was seated at her vanity, her cheerful smile immediately putting you at ease. She was in the middle of her beauty routine, setting powder still dusted across her face.
"Hey!" she greeted, her enthusiasm infectious. "You can sit on my bed if you want, I'm almost ready."
You nodded, offering a small smile in return as you made your way to her neatly made bed. Sitting down, you watched as she meticulously applied her makeup, each movement precise and practiced. The scent of her perfume wafted through the air, a delicate floral fragrance that filled the room.
"Thanks for inviting me tonight," you said, settling onto Sarah's plush bed, trying to keep your voice steady. "I needed a break from all the studying."
Sarah glanced at you through the mirror, her eyes sparkling with warmth. "Of course. We're gonna have fun tonight, I promise."
You watched as she continued applying her makeup, each brushstroke precise and practiced. The scent of her perfume filled the room, a delicate floral fragrance that mingled with the soft glow of fairy lights draped around her vanity. Her vanity table was a treasure trove of beauty products, each item meticulously arranged, reflecting her attention to detail.
"How's everything been?" she asked, breaking the comfortable silence. "You seem a little stressed."
You sighed, running a hand through your hair, the strands slipping through your fingers. "It's just been a lot lately. School, parents, you know the drill."
Sarah nodded sympathetically, her gaze softening. "Yeah, I get it. But tonight, we're forgetting all that. Just a night to relax and have some fun."
You smiled, feeling a bit lighter at her words. "Sounds like exactly what I need."
Sarah turned back to her mirror, adding the finishing touches to her look with a steady hand. "Any particular reason you were so eager for a break? Or is it just the usual?"
You hesitated, your mind flashing back to Rafe and the way his gaze had lingered on you. The memory sent a shiver down your spine. "I guess... it's just been a while since I did something for myself. Needed to remind myself there's more to life than textbooks and exams."
Sarah chuckled softly, a knowing look in her eyes. "You're right about that. And who knows, maybe tonight will be more exciting than you think."
As she finished up, she turned to you with a radiant grin. "Ready to head out?"
You took a deep breath, feeling a mix of anticipation and nervousness. The prospect of the bonfire, and seeing Rafe again, was both thrilling and terrifying. "Yeah, let's do this."
Once you stepped onto the scene, the bonfire was already bustling and full of life, loud music pulsing through the night air. The flames danced high into the sky, casting flickering shadows across the crowd. Part of you felt anxious, a knot of unease twisting in your stomach. This wasn’t your first party, but the large crowd and loud noises, combined with the thought of running into Rafe, made you feel somewhat sick to your stomach.
Despite the nerves gnawing at you, you put on a facade of false confidence, walking with your head held high as you and Sarah approached the throng of people. The laughter and chatter were almost overwhelming, a cacophony of voices blending with the beat of the music. You scanned the crowd intently, searching for familiar faces and, perhaps, one face in particular.
The bonfire's light flickered on everyone’s faces, giving the scene an almost surreal glow. You could see groups of friends laughing together, some couples wrapped in each other’s arms, and others dancing with abandon to the rhythm of the night. Sarah gave you an encouraging smile, her hand brushing against your arm in a gesture of support.
“Let’s grab a drink,” she suggested, leading you towards a makeshift bar set up on a long wooden table. The sight of it was a welcome distraction, a chance to steady your nerves.
You nodded, following her lead. As you walked, you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander, hoping to catch a glimpse of Rafe. The anticipation of seeing him again sent a thrill through you, despite the anxiety it also brought. The memory of his intense gaze and the subtle way he toyed with the string of your bikini was still fresh in your mind, making your cheeks warm at the thought.
At the bar, Sarah handed you a cup filled with something fruity and strong. You took a sip, the cool liquid helping to calm your racing heart. The night was still young, and you were determined to enjoy yourself, to let go of the worries and just be in the moment.
Sarah nudged you playfully, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Feeling better?”
You laughed softly, the sound almost drowned out by the music. “Yeah, a little. Thanks.”
She raised her cup in a mock toast. “To a night of fun and no stress.”
You clinked your cup against hers, smiling genuinely this time. “To fun and no stress.”
As you took a sip, a growing crowd caught your attention from the corner of your eye, a few feet away. Intrigued, you turned your head, squinting to get a better look at whatever had captivated them. Through a small gap in the throng, you peered in, your eyes adjusting to the dim, flickering light of the bonfire.
Your heart dropped. There he was, Rafe Cameron, sitting in a circle with his friends. The bonfire's flames cast an eerie glow, dancing shadows playing across their faces. You watched in stunned silence as Rafe leaned over, his eyes dark and intense. A line of powder lay across his lap, stark white against the fabric of his jeans. He sniffed it up quickly, then tilted his head back, a look of raw euphoria washing over his features. The sight was jarring, his usual composed demeanor replaced by something unsettling and raw.
Your jaw dropped, your body freezing as the realization hit you like a cold wave. The Rafe you had been daydreaming about, whose touch had lingered on your skin in your fantasies, was now someone else entirely in this moment. The crowd around him seemed oblivious to the impact of what you were witnessing, their laughter and conversation continuing as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
Your mind raced, a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions crashing together. Disbelief and disappointment mingled with a lingering sense of curiosity. Was this who Rafe truly was, or just another facet of his complex persona? You felt a mix of emotions—concern for him, a touch of anger, and an unsettling intrigue.
You felt minuscule, almost insignificant, as you bore witness to the scene unfolding before you. The sight of Rafe, so absorbed in his actions, made your cheeks flush with a tumultuous mix of embarrassment and confusion. The heat crept up your face as you observed his focused expression, his eyes dark and intense, holding a mysterious allure that was both unsettling and oddly captivating. The reality of what you saw clashed harshly with the fantasy you had built in your mind, an illusion of Rafe that didn’t involve such reckless indulgence.
Rafe was a Kook, after all. You should have known better than to expect any less from a boy who lived in that world. But the Rafe you had daydreamed about, the one whose touch had sent shivers down your spine and whose gaze had made your heart race, wasn’t supposed to be tangled up in this. The stark contrast left you feeling disoriented, as if the ground beneath you had shifted, leaving you unsure of your footing.
Sarah’s voice cut through the fog of your thoughts, snapping you back to the present. "Everything alright?" she asked, her tone filled with concern.
You blinked, shaking your head slightly to clear the haze. "Yeah," you replied, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "Just... thinking."
Sarah followed your gaze, her eyes narrowing as she took in the scene. "Don't mind them," she said, a hint of exasperation coloring her words. "They always get up to stupid stuff at these things."
You nodded, though your mind was still reeling from the unexpected turn the evening had taken. Sarah’s words were meant to reassure you, but the lingering image of Rafe’s dark, intense gaze and the undeniable reality of his world clung to you like a shadow, refusing to be dispelled.
You shook off your thoughts, forcing your focus back to your conversation with Sarah. The rhythmic exchange of words and laughter served as a distraction from the chaotic whirlwind of emotions within you. The topics drifted from school to fashion, from mutual acquaintances to harmless speculations about the future. The normalcy of it all was comforting, a temporary balm to the disquiet Rafe had stirred up.
Then, a familiar voice broke through the bubble of your conversation. "Hey guys," Topper greeted, a smirk playing on his lips as he leaned in to press a quick kiss to Sarah's cheek.
"What're you two gossiping about?" he asked, his tone teasing.
"None of your business, Topper," Sarah retorted with a playful roll of her eyes, nudging him gently.
You managed a hesitant, half-hearted laugh, feeling a bit like an outsider in their easy banter. You took a nervous sip from your cup, the cool liquid doing little to soothe the anxious flutter in your chest. Your eyes roamed the crowd, searching for Rafe almost involuntarily, expecting to see him nearby.
Topper’s presence, though friendly, only served to heighten your awareness of Rafe. Your gaze flitted across the sea of faces, scanning for any sign of him. The crowd seemed to ebb and flow around you, a moving tapestry of laughter, shouts, and music, but all you could think about was where Rafe might be and whether he was watching you.
Topper continued to chat with Sarah, his voice a steady background hum. You tried to engage, to laugh at the right moments and nod along, but your mind kept drifting back to the image of Rafe, his dark eyes and the way they seemed to pierce right through you.
As if sensing your distraction, Sarah glanced at you with a knowing look. "Y/N, you good?" she asked, her voice laced with genuine concern.
You blinked, forcing a smile. "Yeah, just a bit tired, I guess," you replied, trying to sound convincing.
"Well, we can always head back inside if you want," Sarah offered, her tone considerate.
Before you could respond, a loud burst of laughter erupted nearby, drawing your attention. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw Rafe among the group, his head thrown back in amusement, his presence commanding even in the midst of the lively crowd. He looked different, more relaxed, yet still exuding that magnetic aura that seemed to pull you in no matter how hard you tried to resist.
Your gaze met his for a fleeting moment, and he smirked, raising an eyebrow as if to challenge you. You quickly looked away, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks once more. The tension, the curiosity, the inexplicable draw towards him—it was all still there, simmering just beneath the surface.
Sarah's voice brought you back to the present. "So, what do you think? Head inside or stay out here?"
You hesitated, the decision feeling heavier than it should. "Let's stay a bit longer," you finally said, your voice firmer than before.
Sarah nodded in response, giving you a supportive smile. As the night continued, you found yourself more intoxicated than you had anticipated. You and Sarah took shot after shot over the next few hours, and before you knew it, you were definitely drunk. A liberating sensation washed over you, a freedom you hadn't felt in your entire life, like you were floating and everything else was background noise.
The bumping music thumped in your ears as you swayed alongside Sarah, the world around you a vibrant blur of lights and laughter. You giggled at her exaggerated dance moves, the infectious joy of the moment wrapping you in its embrace. For once, you were truly having fun, and it was a feeling you wanted to hold onto forever.
You excused yourself from Sarah, telling her you were getting another drink. She waved you off with a nod, her own laughter echoing in your ears as you stumbled towards the wooden bar across the sand. The bonfire’s glow illuminated the path, casting flickering shadows that danced along with you.
The bar was a rustic setup, a makeshift oasis of alcohol and camaraderie in the midst of the beach party. You leaned against the counter, your head buzzing with the pleasant fog of intoxication. The bartender, a friendly-faced guy with a scruffy beard, raised an eyebrow in recognition and poured you another drink without needing to ask.
You took the cup, the cool liquid sloshing inside as you turned to look back at the crowd. Your eyes instinctively searched for Rafe, a part of you hoping to catch another glimpse of him, to feel that rush of adrenaline once more. The firelight cast a warm glow over everything, making the night feel almost magical, like a scene from a dream.
As you took a sip, the world spun just a bit too quickly, and you lost your balance, stumbling backward. A pair of strong hands caught you from behind, steadying you gently. Before you could respond, you turned around to see who had caught you, only to be left speechless at the familiar figure towering over you. Rafe's piercing gaze met yours, his expression a mix of concern and amusement.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft yet firm, grounding you in the moment.
Your breath caught in your throat, the proximity of his presence overwhelming your senses. "Y-yeah, I think so," you managed to stammer, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks. You tried to regain your composure, but his intense gaze held you captive.
Rafe's hands lingered on your arms for a moment longer before he let go, a small, reassuring smile playing on his lips. "Good," he said, his eyes never leaving yours. "Wouldn't want you getting hurt."
The music and laughter from the bonfire seemed to fade into the background, the world narrowing down to just the two of you. The warmth of his touch still tingled on your skin, and you felt an inexplicable pull toward him, a magnetic attraction that you couldn't deny.
"Thanks," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I guess I should be more careful."
Rafe chuckled softly, the sound sending shivers down your spine. "Yeah, maybe," he replied, his tone light yet laced with something deeper. "But where's the fun in that?"
His words lingered in the air, a challenge wrapped in a tease, and you couldn't help but smile. The night was filled with possibilities, and standing there with Rafe, you felt a thrill of excitement and anticipation.
"You enjoying the party?" you asked, trying to keep the conversation going, your voice steadying as you spoke.
Rafe's smile widened, his eyes sparkling with a mix of mischief and something more. "I am now," he said, his voice low and intimate, making your heart race. "How about you?"
You nodded, feeling a rush of warmth at his words. "Yeah, it's been... interesting," you admitted, your gaze never leaving his.
He chuckled, his smirk growing as he nodded at your reply. "I see. It's a wonder you've been able to be around Sarah drunk this long," he shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. His eyes sparkled with amusement, the dim light of the bonfire casting shadows on his sharp features, accentuating the sharp lines of his jaw and the mischievous glint in his eyes.
"She's not so bad," you said, gazing up at him, trying to keep your tone confident. "Besides, I don't think I'm much better than her right now." You let out a small laugh, picking nervously at the rim of your cup. The alcohol had given you temporary courage, but under Rafe's scrutinizing gaze, you felt the familiar flutter of nerves, like butterflies trapped in your stomach.
Rafe tilted his head, his eyes roaming over your face with an intensity that made your breath catch. "Didn't think you'd be much of a drinker, Princeton," he remarked, cocking an eyebrow with an amused glint in his eye.
"Yeah, well," you shrugged, trying to play it cool. "There's a lot you don't know about me."
He took another step closer, the scent of his cologne mixing with the salty sea air and the faint smell of the bonfire. "Is that so?" His voice was low, almost a whisper, sending a shiver down your spine. You could feel the heat radiating off his body, the electric pull drawing you closer.
You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest as you attempted to keep your composure. "Yeah," you managed, gulping silently and biting down on your bottom lip, trying to steady yourself against the swirling emotions inside you.
Rafe's eyes darkened suddenly, the familiar smirk plastered on his face as he took a step closer. "Well," he spoke in a low tone, his voice a teasing mockery of your earlier confidence, "I'd love to find out." The space between you seemed to shrink, the air thick with unspoken tension. Rafe's presence was overwhelming, his proximity sending waves of heat through your body. The flickering light from the bonfire cast shadows on his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw and the intensity in his eyes.
You felt a shiver run down your spine as he leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. "I bet there's probably a lot of things you hide under that 'good girl' act you do." His words sent a wave of heat through your body, igniting a fire that had been simmering since your first encounter. You tried to steady your breath, but the proximity of his body and the intensity in his voice made it nearly impossible.
You shook your head, feeling weaker by the minute as Rafe kept his burning gaze on you. "It's not an act..." you sheepishly tried to defend yourself, avoiding the intensity of Rafe's stare.
He chuckled lowly, shaking his head in disbelief. "I have a hard time believing that. See, I think you parade around here acting innocent and oblivious to everything, like you're only concerned with your precious scholarship and getting into some Ivy League school. But really, I bet you're begging just to be touched."
Your eyes widened at his accusation, taken aback by his statement. It was partially true; your entire personality wasn't just about school, but you surely weren't sleazy either, to be begging for attention in the way that Rafe made it sound. "No, I'm not," you protested, your voice trembling with a mix of indignation and uncertainty.
Rafe's eyes narrowed, his smirk growing more pronounced. "Oh, really?" he said, taking another step closer, his presence overwhelming. "Then why do I see you looking at me like that? Why are you trembling right now?" His fingers grazed your arm, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. "Admit it, Princeton. You want more than just good grades and a spotless reputation."
You swallowed hard, your heart racing as his words cut through your defenses. You tried to steady your breathing, to regain some semblance of control, but the intensity of the moment made it impossible. "You don't know anything about me," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
Rafe's smile widened, a glint of triumph in his eyes. "Maybe not. But I'm willing to find out," he murmured, his fingers trailing up your arm to cup your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. "And I think you want that too."
You felt a rush of emotions, a cocktail of fear, excitement, and desire swirling within you. The logical part of your mind screamed at you to pull away, to maintain the carefully constructed image you had built for yourself. But the pull of his presence was too strong, the allure of stepping outside the boundaries you had set for yourself too enticing.
"I..." you began, your voice faltering as you tried to form a coherent response. Rafe's eyes never left yours, his gaze unwavering and intense.
Rafe chuckled, his smirk widening as he leaned in closer, his gaze never leaving yours. "That's what I thought," he repeated, his voice low and teasing. He took another casual sip of his beer, the corner of his mouth quirking up as if he found your defiance amusing. Despite the heat rising to your cheeks, you refused to back down.
"Yeah, well, you aren't so innocent either, Rafe," you retorted, folding your arms defensively. You held his gaze, your brows furrowed in determination. "I saw what you were doing earlier with your friends."
Rafe's amusement only grew at your accusation. He cocked his head slightly, his eyes flickering with mischief. "And what about it?" he countered, taking another deliberate step closer, his presence almost overwhelming. "Do you think that's anything new?"
You hesitated, feeling a pang of embarrassment at his nonchalant response. "I… I don't know, you tell me," you admitted reluctantly, your voice softer now. The tension between you was intensified, each word and gesture charged with a strange, electric energy. Rafe's gaze bore into you, assessing, as if daring you to challenge him further.
"You must not know me that well either, Princeton," he remarked, his tone playful yet tinged with something deeper.
You felt a pang of vulnerability as Rafe's amusement at your embarrassment sank in, making you feel smaller than ever. Frustration and annoyance simmered within you, aggravated by his clear enjoyment of the upper hand. With furrowed brows, you frowned up at him, grappling with how to counter his taunt. His chuckle, mocking yet oddly enticing, echoed in the tense space between you.
"What's wrong, baby?" His voice was laced with a teasing edge. "Nobody ever proved you wrong before?"
You scoffed, rolling your eyes at his cockiness, the warmth from the bonfire casting flickering shadows across his face. "This is ridiculous," you protested, your words slightly slurred from the drinks swirling in your system. "I'm leaving." With unsteady steps, you turned to walk away, but his hand caught you, stopping you in your tracks. His grip on your wrist was firm yet oddly gentle, the touch sending a jolt through you.
"Wait," he said, his voice cutting through the noise of the party, his gaze locking onto yours.
Your heart raced as you turned back to face him, frustration evident in your expression. "What now, Rafe?" you snapped, trying unsuccessfully to free your hand from his grasp.
He held on, his eyes narrowing slightly as he regarded you with a mix of amusement and something else you couldn't quite place. "You can't just walk away like that," he stated firmly, the seriousness in his tone contrasting with the playful smirk that usually adorned his lips.
"Why not?" you challenged, meeting his intense gaze defiantly despite the butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach.
Rafe's smirk softened, replaced by a more contemplative look. "Because," he began, his voice quieter now, "I don't want you to."
Confusion mingled with curiosity as you searched his eyes for any hint of deception. "Why?" you asked, your voice softer now, uncertain of where this conversation was headed.
Rafe's gaze held yours, his expression unreadable for a moment before a flicker of something vulnerable crossed his features. "Because," he began slowly, his voice tinged with an unexpected earnestness, "you're not so bad to talk to."
His words caught you off guard, the sincerity in his voice stirring a mix of emotions within you—surprise, uncertainty, and a hint of reluctant admiration. The usual facade of cockiness and charm seemed momentarily set aside, replaced by a genuine attempt to connect.
"I..." you started, searching for words as his gaze held yours steadily. His vulnerability felt almost disarming, a stark contrast to the confident persona he usually projected. You found yourself drawn in by the sincerity in his eyes, wondering what lay beneath his charismatic exterior.
Rafe's lips quirked in a faint, almost self-deprecating smile. "I don't know why," he continued, his tone quieter now, "you just seem so… innocent." His gaze softened as he studied your reaction, as if searching for something deeper in your response.
You blinked, surprised by the unexpected vulnerability in Rafe's words. His usual charm and playfulness were nowhere to be found, replaced by a raw honesty that tugged at something inside you. His admission left you feeling exposed, as if he had seen a part of you that you kept carefully hidden from the world.
"I'm not innocent," you protested softly, your voice barely above a whisper. But even as the words left your lips, you couldn't help but wonder if there was some truth to his perception of you. Maybe there was a side of you that longed for the simplicity and purity of innocence, untouched by the complexities of the world.
Rafe's gaze lingered on you, his eyes searching yours for a reaction. There was a flicker of something unreadable in his expression before he spoke again, his voice low and almost hesitant.
"I didn't mean it as an insult," he said, his tone earnest. "It's... refreshing, in a way. To see someone who still believes in the goodness of the world, despite everything." He shifted slightly, his eyes never leaving yours. "I envy that innocence," he confessed quietly, a vulnerability shining through that you had never seen before.
A rush of empathy washed over you as you listened to him speak, realizing that perhaps Rafe's carefully crafted facade was not as impenetrable as it seemed. It was a moment of unexpected intimacy between the two of you, a shared understanding that transcended words.
"I think there's more to you than meets the eye too, Rafe," you said softly, surprised by your own admission. It was a risky gamble, laying bare your thoughts and feelings in such a way, but somehow it felt right in that moment, as if honesty was the only currency that mattered between you and Rafe. He seemed taken aback by your words, a hint of vulnerability flashing across his features before his usual mask slipped back into place.
"You're perceptive," he murmured, his voice tinged with something you couldn't quite place.
A small smile played on your lips as you watched the subtle shift in Rafe's demeanor, a crack forming in the armor he usually wore so effortlessly. It was a rare sight to witness him letting down his guard, and you found yourself inexplicably drawn to this glimpse of the real Rafe hidden beneath the facade.
Suddenly, a distant sound broke the spell that had enveloped the two of you, causing Rafe to straighten up and glance around warily. The moment had passed, but its impact lingered in the air like a promise of things yet to come.
"We should go," Rafe said abruptly, his voice brisk as he turned away from you.
You followed Rafe through the bustling crowd, your thoughts a whirlwind of the unexpected conversation. As you neared the bonfire, the familiar sound of Sarah’s laughter reached your ears. She spotted you and waved, making her way over with an excited grin.
“There you are!” Sarah exclaimed, her eyes twinkling with curiosity. “Where have you been? I was starting to think you’d ditched me for someone more interesting.”
You forced a smile, trying to brush off the intensity of your recent interaction with Rafe. “Oh, just wandering around,” you replied nonchalantly. “Actually, I’m feeling a bit tired. Do you mind if we head out?”
Sarah’s smile faltered for a moment, replaced by a look of concern. “Are you okay? You look a little out of it.”
“I’m fine,” you assured her, your voice steady. “Just had a bit too much excitement for one night.”
Sarah studied you for a moment before nodding. “Alright, let’s go. I’ll get Topper to drive us.” She glanced around, spotting her boyfriend nearby and motioning for him to join you.
As you waited for Topper, you stole a glance back at the bonfire. Rafe was still there, his figure illuminated by the flickering flames. For a brief second, his eyes met yours across the distance, and a silent understanding passed between you. There was more to uncover, more to understand about each other, but tonight wasn’t the night for it.
Topper pulled up in his car, and you climbed into the backseat with Sarah, who gave you a reassuring smile. “You’ll have to tell me all about it tomorrow,” she said, squeezing your hand. “But for now, let’s get you home.
── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──
taglist: @yawnzshit, @saintchxx4, @hotch-meeeeeuppppp, @maybankslover
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rabesbabe · 5 months ago
Text
Silver Soul
Jackie Taylor x Fem!Reader
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part one part two ➴ part three
A/N: Hii thanks for the love on part one ! This is part two and i’ll probably make one more part after this <3
Summary: Jackie starts sending you mixed signals and you struggle to keep up with her. (shitty description ik shh)
-
Students fill the classroom groggily walking over to their desks. You and Taissa always talk in homeroom and today you wanted to get her advice on Jackie.
“Do you even know if she’s gay?” Taissa asks.
You look down at your book bag. “Well no, I mean she didn’t even know I was.”
Taissa laughs. “Yeah she’s definitely straight. A blind person would know you were gay just based off your voice.” She says, poking fun at you.
“You’re the worst.” You joke back to Taissa.
“But seriously, the hardest part of it all is that before last week she barely crossed my mind and now, I can’t stop thinking about her.” You sigh.
Just as Taissa was about to add on to the conversation, you feel a weight on your desk in front of you.
At the front of your desk stood Jackie, flashing her gorgeous smile.
“Good morning!” She said in her normal chirpy voice. Taissa looks between you and her puzzled. “Who are you guys talking about?” Jackie asks, having overhead a little bit of you guys conversation.
You look at Taissa silently pleading for her to help you. You were the worst at lying and Taissa could win a medal in it if she wanted to.
“No one that interesting.” Taissa says, lying. “You’re so dressed up today Jackie.” She adds on, attempting to change the subject
Jackie was wearing a skirt with a plaid pattern on it. Her pink sweater was tucked into the skirt and Taissa was right she did seem to be more dressed up than usual.
“Yeah you are,” You add. “You look good though.” You say as you look Jackie up and down checking out her outfit.
She smiles at your words and a deep blush spreads across her face.
“Thank you, You look good too.” She reaches over to you and lightly runs her fingers through your hair for a second. Backing away she says, “You always look good though.” She moves off your desk and winks at you before walking away leaving you a flustered mess.
You turn your gaze to Taissa who’s just looking at you with a knowing eyebrow.
“I’m not crazy right?” You say. “She’s flirting with me?”
“No, definitely not crazy.” Taissa laughs out.
The rest of the day was a blur you tried to avoid Jackie knowing you’d just embarrass yourself if she spoke to you. It was easy to avoid her in the classes you shared and in the halls. But, at practice it would be more of a challenge.
-⚽️-
You were dreading practice all day today. Usually, it was a place for you to clear your mind. But the one reason your mind wasn’t clear just happened to be there.
Before practice, you were walking out of the locker room with Nat laughing at some dumb joke she made about Randy Walsh. She had started talking to him recently and couldn’t stop making jokes about how much of a weirdo he was. Which happens to be exactly her type.
Watching you laugh at Natalie’s jokes, Jackie glares at Nat from across the field. She couldn’t help but wonder if you and Nat were a thing. Ever since what you told her yesterday she was curious. You guys were always together and you seemed to think whatever she was saying was the funniest thing in the world. She didnt know why she cared so much but she did.
During practice the team had a scrimmage against each other. Jackie formed the teams and of course she put you on her team. You were already nervous about being next to her on the field after almost knocking her out about a week ago. All you could do was pray it would be fine.
-⚽️-
The end of the scrimmage was nearing. The teams were tied 2-2. Whoever scored next would win.
Van, who was on your team, stole the ball from Shauna and ran towards Lottie to pass the ball to her. Lottie missed the ball and at the last second you ran in-front of Laura lee who almost caught it. You maneuvered the ball away from her causing her to trip. You ran downfield towards the goal and took the shot. And shockingly enough, you made it.
When the ball went in Coach Ben blew his whistle and yelled, “Game! Jackie’s team: Wins.”
Jackie ran over to you and basically tackled you into a hug.
“Jesus Y/N! How the hell did you make that shot?” Still in her arms she looked at you smiling.
You smiled back at her, her hair was stuck to her face from sweat and she was slightly flushed from running. But, she still looked pretty as ever. It was almost annoying that she could still look so beautiful after a full practice.
“To be honest I didn’t think I would.” You say, laughing.
Jackie pulls away from you but leaves her arm around your shoulders. You both walk over to get water.
“I’m glad I put you on my team today.” She giggles out.
You nod, “Me too.”
-⚽️-
After practice, while changing in the locker room you were talking to Nat, as usual, about tonight. There was a Halloween party and you and Nat were trying to pick out your outfits.
“Maybe I could be like a pirate or something?” You say, lacing up your shoes.
“That’s pretty cute actually.” Nat agrees. “And on brand, you steal people’s shit in real life too.”
Rolling your eyes you interject, “That was one time, and I was twelve.”
“Are you guys going to the party together?” You hear a voice behind you say. Turning around you see Jackie’s hazel eyes looking between you and Nat questioningly.
“Uh yeah, I guess” Nat says nonchalantly. “I mean I’m driving her there. I always do though.” She explains.
“Oh, okay I’ll see you guys there then.” Jackie says, sounding a little bit disappointed.
As she walks away you notice her look back at you and she gives you a tiny smile before disappearing behind the wall to the way outside.
“Did she sound upset or was it just me?” You question turning to look at Nat.
Nat just shrugged. “Maybe she wanted to go with you. She has been oddly close to you recently. I mean the way she hugged you after you scored on a Scrimmage? C’mon man.” Nat explained, enunciating the word scrimmage.
Your face contorts with confusion at Nats words. Did Jackie really like you? She couldn’t right? I mean you guys had just started to become friends like a week ago after what happened at practice. Maybe you were just overthinking everything and Jackie was like this with everyone.
She was naturally charming and you were probably just reading over everything wrong.
You drove home from practice that day and didn’t stop for coffee. You just wanted to get home and take a nap before the party. Life was too confusing.
-⚽️-
You’d been at the party for about an hour now. You had been dancing, drinking and doing anything and everything to get Jackie off your mind. Everything was so loud. Halloween music was blasting and you could barely hear anything.
You were dressed in a pirate costume like you planned. It was a tight white dress with a black corset and long boots. The dress barely reached your knees and you wore a red bandana on your head with an eyepatch. You might’ve been dressed a little bit skimpy but it was Halloween, so was every other girl on the planet.
You look over to the couch with Natalie sitting on it talking to Randy.
“I’m gonna grab another drink!” You say practically, yelling over the music so Nat would understand what you meant. She didn’t react to anything you had said. Either the music was too loud or she was too focused on Randy.
You push through the crowds of people struggling to stay upright and finally find the kitchen.
You grab a cup and pour yourself a beer. You were honestly struggling to hold the cup right. To say you were tipsy might be a little bit of an understatement.
“Here to steal my gold?” You hear a familiar voice say. Jackie was standing next to you dressed as Tatum from Scream. You were shocked you weren’t drooling because of how hot she looked.
Your brain finally processes her joke and you laugh a little bit. “Nah, I like your costume though very hot!” You say, still yelling over the music.
Jackie was definitely just as drunk as you, if not more. It was pretty late into the night and she looked like she had been here for about 2 hours already.
Continuing to pour your drink you suddenly feel a wet splash across your chest. “Bitch!” You hear Jackie yell at a girl behind her. The girl shoved her into you causing her to spill her drink all over your costume. “I’m so sorry Y/N!” Jackie slurs out looking like she wanted the floor to swallow her whole.
“It’s okay!” You say, you were too drunk to really care. Jackie grabs your hand and drags you through the crowd. You absentmindedly followed her too distracted by her warm touch to think about where you were going.
You both walk into a bathroom with Jackie closing the door behind you. The bathroom wasn’t very big and your heart was beating out of your chest at the proximity to Jackie.
She wet a paper towel and started to wipe at your chest. Jackie was so focused on getting the stain she caused out, she didn’t realize how close she was to you. You guys were basically sharing breaths at this point.
“It’s almost out, I think?” Jackie says meeting your eyes. Hers go wide for a second as she realizes your distance. Your breathing was labored and your cheeks a deep shade of crimson. You both stood there for a moment. Both trying to understand what the other was thinking. Just before you were going to lean in, Jackie backed away plopping herself down on the bathroom floor.
Her eyes avoided yours as you sat down next to her.
You both just sat there for a minute until she blurted out, “So are you and Nat like, Y’know?”
You scrunched your eyes together hoping she wasn’t suggesting what you thought she was. “Actually no, I don’t know. Are we what?”
Almost mockingly she looks over at you as if what she was saying wasn’t obvious. “Like, dating…”
You widen your eyes at her and burst into a fit of giggles. “Hell no.” You laugh out.
Jackie just looks at you like you’re crazy.
“I wouldn’t date her if she offered me a million dollars. She’s just my best friend.” You say.
“Oh.” Jackie says, furrowing her eyebrows confused at the fact she read it all wrong.
Your drunken mind finally connects the dots. “Why do you care if we’re dating anyway?”
She rolled her eyes at your words and gave you an angry look as if you had just told her that her outfit was ugly or something.
“Really?” She asks you, disappointed by your question.
Quicker than you’d expected she got up and stormed out the bathroom. Leaving you dumbfounded and confused. What did you say that pissed her off so badly?
The party kind of sucked after that. You
just sat outside and smoked with Van and Taissa. Which was a bad idea as they were so obviously in love, and you, were so obviously confused with your love life.
The worst part of it all was Shauna had to drive you, Natalie and, Jackie home since Natalie ended up drinking when she was supposed to be designated driver. The tension in the car was unbearable and you were dying to get out.
Every few minutes Jackie would look into the rearview mirror just to shoot you a dirty look. Nat noticed too and tried to whisper to you. “What’d you do to piss the princess off?” She said very loudly, her drunk mind making her think she was whispering. Everyone in the car had have heard what she said and you just hid your face in your hands for the rest of the ride.
When you finally got dropped off you looked back into the car while walking up to your house. You and Jackie made eye contact and she looked like you had just kicked her puppy or something. You were so lost. What did you do?
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perpetuallyconfused10 · 1 year ago
Note
Im the one who asked about requests lol, I just have this Hotch thought and I can't stop thinking about it 🫂😭
Imagine Garcia "screaming" about a video, telling the whole team about it (except Hotch and Reader), and that video is on tiktok. When they spill something about the video, Hotch and Reader ask which video they're referring to, not knowing it's from a tiktok account where the person makes videos on Hotch x Reader (like edits taken from some interview where they look at each other, slightly touches and things like that) and it's a whole profile with a lot of videos like that! So the whole team teases them and they obviously like eachother!!
Feel free to change anything!!
Gone Viral, Gone Wrong
Thank you to this anon for submitting my first request! I might have written it (and especially Hotch) be a little (way) too sappy, but I love your idea so much and I hope I did it some type of justice! WC: 3.3K
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GIF by ssa-aaron-hotch-hotchner
There must be something on your face. Toothpaste, maybe, or coffee on your shirt, or a tear in your trousers. Something to explain the numerous pairs of eyes following you as you dash for the elevator, just as you always do. 
This morning’s been one for the books. Between a text from your highschool ex-boyfriend, congratulating you on your ‘newfound fame’ — whatever he means by that, you don’t know — and the incomprehensibly slurred voicemails you woke up to from your sister, you aren’t quite sure what to do with yourself.
You tell yourself you’re probably imagining it. But Anderson doesn’t say a word to you as you both make your way to the BAU, just casts you sidelong glances between the rapid texts he’s sending. You hope to God it’s not you, that he's just having an awful morning, then scold yourself for it. If you’re not off to a good start, at least somebody should be.
It’s the silence in the bullpen that confirms your suspicions. Emily, JJ, and Garcia sit huddled around Emily’s computer, squeezed onto two chairs they’ve pulled together. Morgan leans over them to look at the screen. He’s in the middle of laughing at something Garcia’s said when you walk in. 
You don’t even need Reid’s not-so-subtle hiss of “Guys–” to know you’re not going crazy. The smirks that drop from their faces, the giggles that extinguish themselves as you enter through the double doors, are more than enough. 
Four profilers and a technical analyst, as it turns out, can be rather terrifying when the force of their stares are directed at you. 
A sheepish grin tugs at your lips as you hold up your peace offering: a tray of coffee. “Hi?”
You’ve come to know how the team works. You know exactly how they react when ambushed, how they spring to action like a well-oiled machine.
There’s something a little mechanical to them now, bared in their responses to your arrival. After giving you one of his usual tight-lipped smiles, Reid flips open a random file on his desk and begins to read. JJ grabs the computer mouse, clicks a few times, and turns away from the monitor to greet you. Morgan clocks the drinks in your hands and conjures a grin just a little wider than normal. 
“Morning, sunshine,” he says as he plucks the tray from your hands, thanking you with a squeeze to your forearm. 
Garcia, eyeing the gesture, nearly chokes on the end of the pen she’s chewing. She stands to usher you over to your desk, her chirpy voice a balm attempting to smooth over what has been a very odd start to your working day. 
“What were you guys looking at?” You ask her, eyebrows raised. If anyone’s going to tell you what’s going on, Penelope is, without a doubt, most likely to spill.
You’re disappointed – and even more confused – when she stands her ground. Through her ramble, you just about make out the words “cat” and “spa” before she’s kissing your cheek and speeding away to your lair. 
You sigh as you switch on your own computer. One thing is clear. The team doesn’t like to be ambushed. And, somehow, that is exactly what you have done. 
After finishing off one of your consults, you suffer through a morning briefing that ends up being far more complicated than it needs to be. It’s only a paperwork day, by the looks of things. In theory, this is the ‘easiest’ your job gets; if you’re not called out on an emergency, you can bank on a day of case reports and shitty coffee. 
Nothing is ever easy at the BAU, not even now. Everything is out of order. There’s none of the usual idle chatter that precedes a briefing, just a fragile silence. Rossi moves from his normal position to take your place between Reid and JJ. He mutters something about the chair being uncomfortable and shoos you away from your seat. Though you can’t resist the opportunity to call him an old man for his pedantics, you acquiesce and take his spot instead. You find nothing wrong with it. 
Then Hotch walks in to start the briefing, and you find about a hundred reasons to curse David Rossi. He’s wearing the gray suit, again, the one he likes pairing with his red tie. That should be a crime in itself. When he takes the only seat available — his usual seat, the one now next to you — you’re almost sure you hear JJ snort. Emily pats her on the back as she conceals it with a very unconvincing cough.
Hotch frowns in your direction, probably mulling over the change in seating plan, then turns his attention to JJ. “Are you alright?”
The blonde clears her throat. “Fine. Thanks, Hotch,” she says. 
Garcia rests her elbows on the table, her mouth concealed by the palm of her hand. 
Hotch nods, casting another short glance your way. “Good.”
Then he launches into the briefing, and you can almost convince yourself things are perfectly normal, that your face isn’t alight with heat and you’re not avoiding looking at him, that everything is fine. When you’re dismissed, you scurry towards the door fast enough you almost miss it. 
“Garcia?” His voice is quiet, his tone soft with something disapproving hiding beneath it. “My office, please.”
Everything is decidedly not fine. 
By noon, you can’t take it anymore. “Emily Prentiss, what the fuck are you doing?”
The question comes out louder and more harshly than you’d intended. In your peripheral vision, you see Reid’s eyes widen at the desk next to yours. Emily, halfway through a sandwich, freezes. 
“I’m sorry?”
The grin fades from her face. 
You huff. “You’ve been looking between me and your computer for the last half-hour. What is it? Is there something on my face?” Morgan laughs from the other side of the bullpen, and you raise your voice a little in desperation. “Seriously. Have I done something wrong?”
JJ must have heard the commotion, because she pokes her head out of her office door. She takes one look at you and sighs. “Probably best to get it over with, Em.”
When Emily hesitates, your eyes narrow. “Get what over with?”
She stands and beckons you over to her desk, firing up her computer screen as you settle into her chair. JJ comes down the stairs to join you. Though they don’t move, you can practically feel Morgan and Reid staring at the three of you from across the room. 
What you see projected on Emily’s screen doesn’t make things any clearer.
“That’s—” you pause, dumbfounded. “Why are you looking at me and Hotch?”
The picture is easy to place. It must have been taken a few days ago, during a small-town case. Hotch had asked you to deliver a profile to the media when JJ was working on something else. It was far from the first time you’d faced the press head-on during your time at the Bureau, but Hotch had stood by your side anyway. 
You’re not sure why she’s chosen this photo, if any, to look at. The wind’s blowing your hair into your face, and you’re midway through changing expressions so it almost looks like you’re in pain. 
“Just watch,” Emily says. She presses the spacebar and the picture bursts into action.
“—If you believe you have any information that may relate to this case, we’d appreciate you calling the following number…” you say. You proceed to rattle off the number for the tip line JJ’s set up, but only get halfway through before everything derails. 
“How do we know this isn’t all just bullshit?” 
The voice overpowering yours is weathered, and so is the man who pushes through the crowd of journalists to get close to you and Hotch, whose posture you see straighten in an instant. You watch as the reporters from the city turn to look at the interloper, pens out and waiting, no doubt, for either you or your boss to slip up.
For a long moment, Hotch watches the man, his face twisted in irritation. He merely restates the tip line number and your request for any potential witnesses to come forward.
But the skeptic doesn’t let up. “This guy’s an outsider. Not one of us. Everyone here knows each other, they have done for years—”
“We’re not trying to cause a panic,” you say, your tone even, “We don’t want you all to turn on each other. But the man we’re looking for knows this town. He’s confident finding his way around the forest, even the areas that haven’t been mapped out yet. He knows the shortcuts, which roads are quiet and which are too risky to take. We’re asking you to exercise caution, and to report anything suspicious if you see it.”
“So what? A few pins on a map and you’re convinced it’s one of us?”
Hotch’s jaw tightens. This case has been harder on him than most, and you can sense that he’s on the verge of responding in a way he’ll regret later. You put a hand on his forearm as he raises it to retort, squeezing it gently in the hopes he’ll get the signal you really don’t have the seniority to be sending him: stand down. He takes a deep breath, and you let your hand slide down to meet his wrist, guiding it just a fraction backwards to rest by his side. The contact lasts only a second, maybe two, before you let him be. 
When he finally speaks, his voice is measured, his eyes slow to drag themselves from your face. “We’re not here to defend the science behind criminal profiling. Our priorities remain finding the person responsible for these crimes and the safety of this community until we do. If you have any information at all, please don’t hesitate to contact us. We appreciate your cooperation.”
Even the most amateur journalist would know he’s done answering questions. Hotch gives a brief nod, turns and leads you out of the Georgia heat and back into shelter of the precinct. All the time, his hand hovers over your back, his gaze searching for any potential disruptions. 
Then there’s his voice, deep and almost inaudible. You feel his breath brush your earlobe. “Thank you.”
Oh. 
Now you’re looking at it from an outsider’s perspective, you do look a little…cozy with Hotch. Not enough to walk the line of unprofessionalism, but enough for you to notice it. 
Emily folds her arms, leans back in her chair. “What’s that about?”
Avoiding her eyes, you shrug. “What’s what about?”
“The canoodling,” JJ says with a smirk, and you slap her arm. 
You’re a profiler. You should know your little attempt at denial isn’t going to work, but it doesn’t stop you from trying. “Canoodling? Seriously, Jen? I don’t think anyone under the age of eighty has ever said the word ‘canoodling’.”
You hear Penelope’s kitten heels clacking against the floorboards before you see her. “Doesn’t mean you’re not doing it,” she sings. Her arms wrap around your shoulders from behind.
You groan. “Penny, you know I love you, but what are you doing here?”
“I got lonely,” she says, and her expression is so genuine that you can’t even bring yourself to be upset with her. “Just wait…”
Leaning over you to press the escape button, she exits out of full screen mode and points to the corner of the screen. When you read the number she’s showing you, your breakfast threatens to make a reappearance.
“Would you look at that?” Emily laughs. “It’s gone up.”
You blink. Once, twice, three times. And once more, for good measure. “Six-hundred-and-fifty thousand people have seen that?”
It all starts to make sense. The texts, the calls, the stares, the team’s behavior…you don’t know whether to be relieved or horrified. On the bright side, you’ve done nothing wrong, nothing that could get you fired. But more than half a million people have seen you practically mooning over your boss.
Emily makes a noncommittal noise. “Half of them were probably Garcia. And a good twenty-five or so were us, if that helps.”
“It doesn’t,” You resist the urge to slam your head against the desk. You’ll have to settle for burying it in your hands instead. “Six hundred and…fuck. And they all think–?”
“—That you’re in love with our boss? And that he’s in love with you? Yes.”
“Oh, fuck.” “They think that, too,” says JJ, sounding sympathetic. If it weren’t for the frankly dastardly smile on her face, you’d think she was on your side.
Picturing the general population witnessing you make an idiot of yourself is bad enough. How do you even conceptualize that many people? How many stadiums could you fill solely with people who have seen you head over heels for your boss? Even worse is the thought of Anderson, or your parents, or – God forbid – even Strauss having seen it. You’ll be suspended. Fired. Or, even worse, be called into a mediated meeting with Hotch and HR, where they’ll ask him if you’ve been making him feel uncomfortable. 
Emily’s voice pulls you from your shame spiral. “And there’s more, too.”
This world hates you. You’re certain of that as she opens Twitter, putting “FBI agents” into the search bar and bombarding you with hundreds, maybe thousands, of tweets with your image attached. Some are disturbingly sweet. Others poke fun at how obvious you are, and even more disturbingly, seem to think your feelings are reciprocated. That’s not a mental path you can allow yourself to go down. 
“So…” You say after a long ten minutes. “What do we do?”
Footsteps, then Rossi appears at the stop of the stairs. “You go back to work. Your break’s over.”
He’s lucky you’re so fond of him. Had it been anyone else (save maybe one person) to disrupt your shame spiral, you’d have been furious. More than furious. You’re still a little irritated now.
There was nothing wrong with his fucking chair. 
Your mission is simple. Avoid. Deny. Deflect. The rest of your afternoon drags along in a blur of paperwork and teasing comments you choose to ignore (mostly courtesy of Morgan — JJ and Emily have decided you’re nearing your breaking point and vow to leave you alone). 
Five o’clock can’t come soon enough. Even when it does, there’s no reprieve. Reid turns out to be the one to betray you as everyone else packs up to leave, their files in his hand. “Sorry,” he whispers. To his credit, he looks like he means it.
“Judas,” you hiss back, but you stand and take the reports from him anyway. 
Morgan raises an eyebrow at you. “Going somewhere special?” 
You flip him off, muttering something under your breath that sounds just a little like “your funeral”. 
The stairs to Hotch’s office feel much longer and much steeper than usual. At every step you reconsider. Reid’s probably still heading for the elevator now. If you catch him, you can guilt him into doing this instead. But your thoughts carry you close enough for Hotch to spot your approach through the blinds. He rises from his desk, opening the door before you can even reach for the handle. 
You can’t even look him in the eyes. “Hi.”
Stepping aside to let you inside, he says your name, and it sounds so warm coming from his mouth. You wonder if he knows about your newfound fame, too. He seems to be focusing his stare directly between your eyebrows. 
“I just came to drop these off.” 
As if your words aren’t explanation enough, you hold up the files for him to see.
“Thank you.” Hotch reaches out to take them, and you feel his fingers brush yours as he does. He stops before the exchange is over. “Are you alright? You seem distracted.”
It won’t be long now before the sun sets. It’s making its final play for glory now, golden light filtering through the window and settling over Hotch’s face. Hints of amber tones surface in his eyes, usually so dark and unreadable, making him appear much softer than usual. Safer.
You sigh. “I think some people got a little more out of that press release in Georgia than we intended them to.”
“Oh. Yes.”
“You know about that?”
You wouldn’t half mind if a wormhole opened up, right there in his office, and transported you to another universe where you don’t even have to think about this moment ever again.
“I do.” He winces. “Garcia’s computer system is the most secure in the FBI, but she doesn’t have an inside voice.”
The dry comment shocks a laugh out of you. “No, she doesn’t. But…it’ll die down, right? No one is actually going to believe that. Us being together would be—”
“Unprofessional,” Hotch supplies after a beat. “Very unprofessional.”
He reaches backwards to put the files you’ve given him on his desk, somehow managing to do so without actually taking a step away from you. If anything, he gets a little closer. 
“Exactly. Strauss would kill us if we even thought about it,” you say, “Not that we would, I’m just…”
Now he looks down at you, straight into your eyes. You swear his pupils are dilated, that he slips for just a half-second and lets his attention drift down to your lips. “There’d be a lot of paperwork.”
You nod. “Too much, really. You’ve got enough already. It’d also be…”
“…Nice.”
Hotch stops breathing, lips downturned in a frown. You’re sure you’ve heard him wrong. But half a minute passes, and he doesn’t retract his statement, though he looks as if he’s close to doing so.
“I’m sorry?” Your voice is barely above a whisper. He’s close enough you catch a hint of his cologne, and the woody scent of it makes your head spin. 
“I can say it again,” he says through a long exhale, searching your face for any sign of discomfort as he takes another step closer. His breath ghosts your neck. “Or we can forget this ever happened.”
Your answer is almost immediate. “Let’s not do that.”
Hotch tilts your chin up so you’re forced to look at him. You lean upwards to meet him halfway in a kiss that is soft and tentative, the sort that promises everything and asks for nothing in return. One of your hands cups his jaw, and both of his find their way home to your waist, rubbing circles into your skin through your shirt. You smile against his lips. He leans forward as if to chase yours when you pull away.  It hits you, now, that this is really happening. The months you've been agonizing over this - whether to make a move or to shut the part of you that cares for him away - have led you here. There's much you've got to think over: what this means for both of your careers, the risk to the team's dynamic, whether it'll even work in the long run, if Hotch wants that too. You know he's thinking the same thing; his face adopts the same mask of concentration it always does when he's considering something. You take a deep breath. It might be hard, but does that stop it from being worth a shot? In the end, you don't think it does.
“I think I’m gonna order takeout tonight,” you say quietly. “There’s a really good Thai place down the street from me.”
Hotch clears his throat. “That sounds nice.”
Shaking your head, you rest both hands on his shoulders, laugh at him. “That was my way of asking you if you wanted to join me.”
“Oh.” 
His brow furrows. For a terrible moment, you think he’s about to say no. And then, “Haley has Jack tonight. I…I’d like that.”
You beam, pull back, and head towards his desk to find a pen and a scrap bit of paper. “Here’s my address.” A quick glance down into the bullpen, which is thankfully empty. “Give it ten minutes, then follow me?”
“Okay,” Hotch says. Even you can tell he’s grinning like an idiot, and you make a note of the rare expression. “Okay. I’ll see you soon?”
Squeezing his hand, you kiss his cheek and walk towards the door. “Soon.”
You feel his eyes on you until you reach the elevator.
If you got this far, thank you for reading! I've watched a lot more Dharma and Greg than CM, lately, so I have a feeling that my version of soft!Hotch is currently just a grownup version of Greg Montmgomery????
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thedemoninme141 · 1 month ago
Text
Her Heartbeat, Chapter 9: Her Diary.
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Summary: Wednesday finally learns the truth of her heartbeat.
Warnings: Angst.. that's it.. Brace yourself.
Chapter 1
Previous Chapter
Worklist
Wednesday sat there, in her dorm, right in front of the half-colored half-dead window. Your diary in her hand. And for the first time in her life, Wednesday felt anger. Her grip tightened around the leather-bound book, her mind racing back to the events of the day, replaying everything that had led her to this moment.
For the last week, your routine that she had become so frustratingly familiar with, she knew exactly when you would arrive, walking beside her on the path to the quad. You always matched her pace exactly—neither too fast nor too slow, as if you had studied her rhythms. You’d offer her that smile, that annoying smile that.. somewhere along the way.. became something else. She couldn’t deny the way it made her feel.  The way you would make light of her morbid comments, occasionally twisting them into something absurd enough to pull the corners of her mouth up against her will.
That was the routine. The one she didn't realize she had become... dependent on. And so, you'd be with her, irritating her with nonsense that barely passed for humor, until Enid and the others inevitably joined so you can have some other brains to feed upon.
Wednesday had expected that whatever had weighed on you during dinner last night, making you quiet and distant, would be gone today. That you’d be back to your usual self—joking, teasing, filling the silence she pretended to crave but apparently, had become used to not having around.
But you weren’t there.
Wednesday walked alone to the quad for breakfast. She told herself she relished this solitude. She always had. It was better to be alone. She had no interest in meaningless companionship.
And yet...
Her brooding was interrupted when Enid arrived with her usual chirpiness, dropping into the seat across from her. Bianca, Eugene, and Yoko filtered in after her, each one chatting idly about the trivialities of their futile lives.
You showed up late—very late. You didn’t rush over to her side, didn’t crack one of your jokes about how Wednesday looked like she was plotting everyone’s demise before breakfast. No, instead, you moved silently through the quad, finally sitting beside her. Giving her a small smile but not your annoying "Good morning". Wednesday tried to ignore the fact that you might've sat beside her because it was the last empty seat at the table.
The group carried on their conversation, and you didn't join in. You weren’t engaging like you usually did. Instead, you stared at your food, poking at it without much interest. Wednesday noted the slight hunch in your shoulders.
So did Enid.
“Hey, Y/N,” she said, her voice rising with concern, “is everything okay? You’ve been super quiet lately.”
Bianca raised an eyebrow, folding her arms as she leaned back in her chair. “Yeah, what’s up with you? It’s not like you to sit there and say nothing.”
You lifted your head and offered a smile. The kind of smile that might have fooled anyone else, but not Wednesday. She saw it. She always saw it. It was the same smile you gave her when you had spoken about your mother, the same smile you gave to everyone during yesterday's dinner, the one that concealed the truth.
“I’m fine,” you said, the warmth in your tone sounding hollow. “I just don’t have anything interesting to say today.”
Wednesday’s grip on her fork tightened, the cool metal pressing into her palm. Nothing interesting to say? That was a lie. What about the chaos at the camp? What about the fact that you always had something to say, especially something to annoy her? Where were the sarcastic comments, the little jabs meant to get under her skin? The sheer absurdity of yesterday’s events alone—the dinner, Brooke setting Rick’s car on fire, should have been more than enough for you to comment on. In fact, you should have been joking about it already, turning it into some elaborate metaphor or mocking everyone’s ridiculousness, including hers.
But you didn’t. You sat there, offering nothing.
The rest of the group continued their conversation, trying to include you, but even they could sense the tension.
Then, something even more off-putting happened.
Normally, Wednesday would finish her breakfast first, ready to leave
and that would be the moment you’d follow, no matter how much food was still left on your plate. You would never miss an opportunity to annoy her by sticking by her side, even when she’d made it clear you weren’t wanted—or so she claimed.
But this time, you were the one to leave first. Halfway through your breakfast, you stood, nodding vaguely to the group before walking away.
Wednesday’s gaze followed you as you left. The quiet, the distance—it was wrong. All of it was wrong.
Everyone turned to Wednesday as if expecting an explanation.
“What?” she snapped, her patience already worn thin.
Eugene adjusted his glasses awkwardly. “So... what did you do?”
Wednesday’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Excuse me?”
“You didn’t say anything mean to her, did you? You’re not usually the sensitive type, but come on.” Enid frowned.
"Of course not," Wednesday replied icily, though her mind was already sifting through your last conversations. Had she? No. She had been...normal. Or at least, as normal as she could be with you.
Yoko added with a smirk, "Maybe you gave her one of those classic Wednesday death threats."
Bianca leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. “Well, whatever it is, I bet Wednesday’s just happy she’s finally getting some peace and quiet.”
That set something off in her. The audacity. The idea that she was... relieved you weren’t paying her any attention. Wednesday’s hand slammed down on the table, the loud thud silencing the chatter instantly. She stood up abruptly, ignoring their startled looks, and stormed out of the quad.
As she walked, her mind raced. What was happening? What had changed? Why were you pulling away from her? She retraced her steps, trying to think if she had said something, done something to push you away. No. Just a day ago, you had been fine—irritating as always, but fine. Something had changed between dinner and this morning, and it was eating away at her.
By the time she reached the classroom, her hands were balled into fists at her sides. She was going to get answers. She wasn’t going to let this silence stretch any further.
When she entered the classroom, she expected it to be empty but you were already there, sitting alone at your desk. You were hunched over something, your attention fixed on a open diary that you clutched in your hands.
The moment you saw her standing in the doorway, you jumped, quickly shutting the diary and tucking it into your bag.
She approached you, her eyes narrowing as she studied your face. There was something in your eyes—something that unsettled her. Fear? Nervousness? No, it was deeper than that. She just couldn't see it, the emotion you were trying so hard to hide.
"What’s going on with you?" Wednesday asked, her voice low and controlled, but with an edge that only you could detect.
You blinked, looking at her as though she had just spoken in a language you didn’t understand. "What do you mean?"
"You’re not yourself," she replied, her gaze unwavering. "You haven't been yourself at yesterday's dinner. You haven’t been for the entire morning. You’ve been quiet."
You frowned, shaking your head as if brushing off the accusation. "I talked, didn’t I?"
Wednesday’s lips pressed into a thin line. "You used to talk enough to drive me to homicide. Now you’re barely saying a word. And you are avoiding me."
You looked away, your fingers brushing the edge of the desk. "Everything’s fine, Wednesday. I haven’t been avoiding you. I was literally right beside you at breakfast."
That wasn’t what she meant. Not at all. What she wanted to say—the words that hovered dangerously close to her lips—was that you weren’t spending enough time with her. That your absence, your distance, had left an unsettling void. But her pride, her damned ego, wouldn’t let her say it.
Before she could press you further some students began filing in the room.
Wednesday’s gaze lingered on you, searching your face for answers that you weren’t giving. But whatever it was, you were good at hiding it.
She sat down beside you, her body stiff, her chaotic thoughts were already ordering themselves.
Her proximity wasn’t about closeness.
It was a strategy.
Her mind had already locked onto a new target.
That diary.
Since you won't give her a straight answer, she would have to find it out herself.
She was going to get that diary.
One way or another.
Instead of heading to the quad during lunch, she diverted her path to her dorm. She needed to put her plan into action.
“Thing,” Wednesday called as soon as she entered her room.
The disembodied hand appeared instantly, crawling out from under the bed.
“I need you to retrieve something for me,” she continued, her voice cold “Y/N’s diary. It’s in her bag. Don’t return until you have it.”
Thing scampered off, leaving Wednesday alone in the room.
She stood still for a moment, feeling an unusual pang of hesitation. This wasn’t her first time invading someone’s privacy, and normally she took a strange satisfaction in uncovering secrets. But this time felt different. There was something about you—about this situation—that unsettled her more than she wanted to admit.
She shook her head, pushing the thought away. She needed to know what was going on. There was no time for sentimentality.
By the time Wednesday arrived at lunch, you were already seated, your eyes fixed on your barely touched food. Enid and Yoko were seated beside you, engrossed in their conversation, but you weren’t paying any attention. Your fork scraped along the plate, but you barely took a bite.
You haven't even noticed her glaring yet and that only confirmed it—something was terribly wrong.
Wednesday sat down across from you, her eyes narrowing. It was only then that you glanced up at her, your eyes locking onto hers for the briefest moment. You smiled—that goddamn smile again. It had always irritated her, but now, seeing it tainted by something so… vulnerable, she felt something she didn’t want to feel.
As she sat there, she watched you. And in the corner of her eye, she caught the blur of Thing, creeping under the table toward your bag. The plan was in motion.
She needed to distract you. She needed to give Thing time.
“Still not back in your usual mood?” she remarked, her voice devoid of its usual venom, as she met your gaze.
You blinked, a flicker of confusion crossing your face before you offered that same empty smile. “Just tired,” you replied, shrugging. “Nothing to worry about.”
Wednesday wasn’t buying it. Not for a second.
She leaned in slightly, lowering her voice so only you could hear. “Did I do something to offend you?” The words felt foreign on her tongue, strange and wrong. She had never cared before if she offended someone. Hell, she usually went out of her way to ensure she did.
Your eyes widened in surprise, and then—almost as if it physically pained you. "It’s nothing you did. I promise I’m fine, Wednesday. You don’t need to worry." you said as if it was a crime for her to even consider that she might have been the reason for your change in behavior.
Wednesday narrowed her eyes. She wasn’t a fool, and she hated being treated like one. Before she could say anything more, you suddenly reached for your bag, pulling it up onto your lap. Wednesday’s eyes widened, and for a split second, she worried that Thing hadn’t finished his task yet.
“Actually, I should probably get going,” you muttered, standing up a little too quickly. “I’ve got some things to take care of.”
Wednesday watched, frozen for a second, as you swung the bag over your shoulder and hurriedly walked away from the table.
Thing crawled out from beneath the bench, the diary gripped tightly in his fingers. Wednesday gave him a nod, silently instructing him to deliver it to the dorm. Without hesitation, he obeyed. Wednesday exhaled before heading for her dorm. She knew she wouldn't really be able to focus on the rest of the classes knowing the diary that hid your truth, your real truth is waiting for her on her table.
"Did Wednesday just ask someone if she had been offensive?" Enid whispered to Yoko, eyes wide with disbelief.
Yoko was as shocked as Enid, "I’m pretty sure that’s a sign of the apocalypse."
The diary was exactly where Wednesday expected Thing to leave it, on her table, ready for her. As she reached for it, her fingers hesitated over the it, her breath momentarily catching in her throat. Why was she hesitating? She never hesitated. She wasn’t the type to second-guess her actions, and yet here she was, her hand frozen above a simple book, conflicted about what she might find within
Her fingers finally made contact with the cover, cool and smooth, but she didn’t open it yet. Instead, she let her thoughts drift back to you—your quiet smiles, even when they annoyed her. The way you looked at her, like you saw something more than the darkness she wore like a shield. But that was just an illusion, wasn’t it? It had to be, because clearly you were hiding something big.
Wednesday inhaled sharply, pulling herself out of her reverie. This is ridiculous, You were just another puzzle. Another person who had gotten too close. She had dealt with this before, someone trying to peel back the layers of her armor, who claimed to understand her just like you did. And now, finally, she would see your true intentions laid out in front of her. What's the worst that can happen? Surely you aren't a Hyde.
But that wasn’t what she was afraid of, was it?
No. What she was really afraid of—though she’d never admit it—was what she might find. What if you had written something about her? What if you’d said something that confirmed all her worst fears about your... this.. whatever this is.. or..was?
Just open it, she told herself again. Get it over with. It’s just a stupid diary. Cringe feelings and teenage nonsense.
With a swift motion, she opened the diary, flipping it to the first page.
And then she stopped.
This wasn’t what she had expected at all.
There were no sappy confessions of love, no teenage angst poured onto the pages. No, this was something different. It wasn't a diary at all.
Instead, she found… a list. Some sort of to-do list, or something idiotic she had learned from Enid, a bucket list.
"Play in the snow with a friend" was one of the first unticked entries. Wednesday’s eyes narrowed. That sounded... oddly easy for someone like you, someone who pretended to be so carefree. You had always made light of serious things, shrugged off the heaviness of life. And yet here you were, yearning for something as simple as playing in the snow.
Next was "Visit a beach at sunset", also unticked. The corner of Wednesday’s mouth twitched in mild irritation. Beaches were disgusting places. Sand, heat, and people. Of course you wanted to experience that. But with whom?
“Play with butterflies.” There were little blue butterflies doodled in the margins next to each one, fluttering as if they were dancing along the edges of the paper.
Then the next wish—“Catch light.” How is that even possible?
This diary was about all of the version of you—the one with kindness and compassion—conflicted with the sarcastic, lighthearted person she knew. But maybe that was the point. Maybe you were more than the one side you showed her. Maybe you had always been more, and she just hadn’t bothered to look deep enough. Or maybe... maybe you were hiding all this from her on purpose.
Her fingers traced the ink, almost reverently. The wishes weren’t grandiose or outlandish. They were simple, human, full of the kind of sentiment she despised. But why did these wishes—why did you—make her feel something she couldn’t quite name?
There were some completed ones, “Learn how to play the guitar.” A photograph of you, laughing, holding a guitar as if it were the most precious thing in the world. “Volunteer at a shelter.” There was a picture of you, smiling with a group of people, holding a cat in your arms.
Visit a foreign country. Paint a picture, no matter how messy, and other simple goals. And then..
She paused on the next entry, her heart skipping a beat as her eyes scanned the words: "Unite two hearts." It was ticked, of course, and there were pictures attached to this one too. The wedding of that old lady... little cupcake?
Wednesday’s stomach twisted in realization. So that’s why you’d asked her for help in breaking Little Cupcake out of that asylum? All for this? All for a silly bucket list item? Anger flared up inside her, sharp and sudden. She gripped the edge of the diary, her knuckles turning white. This was what she had been pulled into? Some childish fantasy about fulfilling a series of wishes. She felt her anger rise. You had dragged her into that ridiculous scheme, had made her bend her own rules, all for this? A stupid checklist? She wanted to crumple the diary in her hands, to throw it against the wall. But she didn’t. Instead, she flipped to the next page, her breathing shallow, her pulse quickening with a mix of fury and confusion. There it was...
Save a life
Wednesday froze, her eyes locked on the words. A blue butterfly, much like the ones she had seen scattered throughout the rest of the diary, but this one was different. It was reaching out toward another butterfly.
A black butterfly.
It was her.
You had drawn her as the black butterfly.
The wish—Save a life—was about her.
The black butterfly was her, and the blue one was you, fluttering around, trying to bring light into her world. This entire time, you had been reaching out to her. You had befriended her, gotten close to her, not because of some genuine connection, but because of this ridiculous wish. You wanted to save her. You had seen her as some kind of project, something broken that you could fix. This was why you had sought her out. Not because you wanted to be near her, but because she was just a box to tick in your stupid game.
She felt sick.
Was that it? Was that what this was all about? You befriending her, getting close to her, all because of this stupid bucket list? Because you wanted to check off “Save a life” from your list? She had been reduced to a project, a goal for you to achieve.
Her hands trembled as she clutched the diary tighter, her knuckles turning white. She wanted to scream, to lash out, to throw something across the room. How dare you? How dare you make her feel something, only for it to be part of some ridiculous plan?
And yet, beneath the anger, there was something else. Something that terrified her more than the fury she felt. Betrayal. Hurt.
She felt betrayed.
You weren’t supposed to matter to her. You were supposed to be an annoyance, a distraction, a fleeting presence in her life. But now, with this revelation, it all came crashing down. You had meant something to her. You had wormed your way into her carefully constructed walls, and now she was left standing in the wreckage of what she had thought was... something more.
Wednesday slammed the diary shut, her hands shaking with barely-contained rage. You had betrayed her in the worst possible way. You had made her feel things—things she didn’t want to feel—and all for the sake of some pathetic wish.
Her feet moved quickly, almost as if they were carrying her of their own, her mind swirling with anger and betrayal. She wouldn’t let you get away with this. Not without an explanation. Not without understanding why you had done it.
She had searched your dorm first, expecting you to be there but you weren't there. Of course she didn't stop looking for you, you couldn’t hide from her, not after what she had discovered.
As she passed by the library, the greenhouse, the main halls, her frustration only grew. Where were you? She needed to see you, to look you in the eyes and demand answers.
Finally, she found you near the quad. She stopped for a moment, observing you. You weren’t just standing; you were pacing, mumbling something to yourself. There was an urgency in the way you moved, a nervousness, a tension that she could sense even from a distance. It was as if you were searching for something- your diary. You looked like you were about to break down. The sight of you like this… she wanted to be furious, to unleash her rage upon you for betraying her trust, but now… she found it hard to focus on that anger when she saw the distress in your every movement. Wednesday clenched her jaw. She wasn’t here to feel pity. She was here for answers. You didn’t notice her at first, too lost in your own world of anxiety. It wasn’t until she was nearly upon you that you turned around, startled by her sudden presence.
“Wednesday—” you began, your voice shaky, unsure as if you could sense the anger radiating from her.
Without a word, Wednesday thrust the diary into your arms. The force of the gesture made you stumble back slightly, clutching the book to your chest as though it were the most precious thing in the world. Your eyes, already glassy with unshed tears, blinked rapidly as some drops fell. You looked down at the diary and then back at her.
"Why do you have this?" you whispered, your voice trembling. Your grip on the book tightened, and Wednesday could see the pain etched into every line of your face. "Why, Wednesday?"
The sight of your tears stirred something deep within her, but she pushed it down, burying it beneath her rising fury. This wasn’t about your tears. This was about her—about the betrayal she felt. She couldn’t let you manipulate her any further.
“Why?” Wednesday’s voice was sharp, cutting through the space between you like a blade. "You want to know why I have this? Because I thought—" She stopped herself, the anger surging again. "No. I hoped you were different. I hoped you didn’t have some ulterior motive like everyone else who tries to get close to me. But it turns out I was wrong. You’re just like the rest of them."
You flinched, your eyes wide, but before you could say anything, Wednesday continued, "You were filling out a stupid bucket list the whole time. Befriending me wasn’t because you cared or because you found something in me worth staying for. It was because I was part of some ridiculous plan to check off ‘save a life’ and ‘unite two hearts.’ What a joke. What were you thinking? That you can somehow change me into something you deem better?”
"Wednesday—" you started, but she cut you off again, her voice rising.
"Is that why you started ignoring me?" Her words dripped with accusation. "Because I was no longer necessary for your wish list? Have I become obsolete now that you’ve played your part in my life? Unite two hearts, playing with people's lives as if its a game to you. Is life and death just a joke to you?"
“A joke?” Your voice was shaky, but there was a fierce edge to it now, one that Wednesday hadn’t anticipated. "Life and death have been playing a joke on me for as long as I can remember! Constantly throwing me between the two, dragging me from one to the other.”
You stepped closer, and for a moment, the raw emotion in your eyes made Wednesday falter. Your tears fell faster now, your voice shaking as you continued.
“This stupid bucket list?” You gestured to the diary, your hands shaking as you held it out. “These aren’t just random wishes. They are my last wishes.”
Wednesday’s heart stopped. She could feel the air in her lungs freeze as the meaning behind your words slowly began to sink in. Your last wishes. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out.
“I’m dying, Wednesday,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “My heart is giving up. It’s only a matter of time before it stops, and I don’t know if I’ll even have enough time to finish these wishes before life and death finally decide to end the joke.”
Wednesday’s mind scrambled to grasp the full extent of what you were saying, but she was at a loss. She didn’t know what to feel—anger, confusion, guilt, sadness. All of them were swirling inside her, an unfamiliar chaos she wasn’t equipped to handle.
“I thought I could make the most of the time I have left,” you whispered, your voice so soft now, so fragile. “I thought I could fulfill these wishes, make something of the time I had left, and then I met you. You… you made me forget, even if just for a little while.” You looked at her, eyes filled with tears, and Wednesday felt her chest tighten painfully.
Her jaw tightened, her lips pressing together in a thin line as she tried to rein in the storm brewing inside her. Her fingers curled tighter around the diary, the leather binding creaking under the pressure, but still, she didn’t speak. She couldn’t.
She had come here expecting to be angry, to demand answers, but now she was standing in front of you, hearing the truth, and all she could feel was… nothing. Numbness. Confusion. Shock. The truth you had just laid bare was too much for her to process, too much for her to handle.
You shoved the diary back into her hands, the force of it jolting her from her paralysis. She looked down at it, the weight of it now felt unbearable.
“Keep it,” you said, your voice bitter and broken. “Go ahead. See for yourself all the jokes life has played on me.”
Before Wednesday could say a word, you turned and walked away.
She watched, frozen, as you made your way past the quad, past the gates of Nevermore, disappearing outside her view.
She didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to process the emotions swirling inside her. Anger, guilt, sadness—all of it mingled together, choking her, suffocating her. She wanted to scream, to find some way to make sense of it all, but she couldn’t. All she could do was stand there, the diary heavy in her arms.
Eventually, she forced herself to her feet, her body moving on autopilot as she made her way back to her dorm. She didn’t remember the walk back; it was a blur, a haze of numbness.
And so,
Wednesday sat there, in her dorm, right in front of the half-colored half-dead window.Your diary in her hand. And for the first time in her life, Wednesday felt anger true, deep, burning anger—at herself.
Anger burned through her veins, hot and suffocating, an unfamiliar fire she couldn’t control. She had let you in, allowed you to become something more than just a nuisance, and now, you were leaving. No. You don’t get to do that. Not after everything. Not after the torture of your presence, the endless conflict she had endured because of you. You had wormed your way into her life, into her thoughts, into her very soul, and now… now you thought you could just leave?
Wednesday’s jaw clenched, her hands tightening around the edges of your diary. You had forced her to feel things she had never wanted to feel, emotions that had no place in her carefully constructed world. You had made her question everything—her control, her cold detachment, her very nature. And now, you were ripping that away, leaving her with nothing but an ache in her chest and a void she couldn’t name.
How dare you.
No, you don’t get to leave. Not yet.
You had tortured her with your presence, with your warmth and your stupid smiles and your pathetic jokes. You had made her care, against her will, against everything she stood for. And now, you thought you could just disappear, leaving her to pick up the pieces?
Absolutely not.
If she had to suffer through your presence, through the chaos you had brought into her life, then so would you. She wouldn’t let you walk away. Not like this.
But how can she fix this, whatever this was... does she want "this" to stay as "this" or.. does she want this to be something more?
She sighed as she stood up. the diary still clutched in her hand.
Your wishes, simple and easy, yet so complicated... Because..
You hadn't found the person worthy to spend them with.
Play in the snow with a friend.
NEXT CHAPTER
[Author's note: Sorry for the late update, so this is it, this is kinda Season 1 of Her Heartbeat lol, I am going on a vacation for a week so it might take some time till the next update. TELL ME "YOUR WISHES" AND I MIGHT PUT THEM IN THE FUTURE CHAPTERS IF THEY ARE CUTE ENOUGH!!!]
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