#COSTIA HURTING HERSELF AND BEGGING FOR LOVE i'm going to cry

[sassymajesty]

song rec anon here to give a few recs while providing absolutely massive explanations. i was not kidding when i said your fics live in my mind rent free

feels like we only go backwards-tame impala

the night we met-lord huron

mrs magic-strawberry guy

these ones especially make me sad when i read BFM because i just think of lexa stuck in that unknowingness of what they truly are and if it will end in ruination or love because clarke could just be giving her false hope. and when they do end up making progress, it feels like they “only go backwards” and end up hurting themselves more. tnwm reminds me of that sweet love they had oh so temporarily, and suddenly lexa was left with nothing, standing so broken, wishing their love could have ended differently...she’s left to pick up her heart’s pieces on her own and carry the weight of clarke’s absence. yep i love making myself cry listening to that one if i can will myself to read the angst™. as for mrs magic...definitely clarke at the beginning of EIB wanting to prove how much she’s grown to lexa and practically beginning for the opportunity.

tomorrow never came-lana del rey

this song is going to RUIN me when southern au angst happens because it reminds me of what our sweet angel costia will be thinking. she just wanted things to be normal and have lexa’s love, but she’s going to be left without that stable force in her life. but i have a feeling she’s going to try and put lexa’s happiness before her own to some extent, so she might step back and “cause if i had my way, you would always stay,” HURTS because of that. prior to the heartbreak, we see that she’s starting to break and see lexa pulling away, but her desperate attempts at salvation seems to fall short. “i waited for you in the spot you said to wait, in the city, on a park bench, in the middle of the pouring rain cause i adored you, and i just wanted things to be the same” really makes me sad to see her bending over backwards for lexa’s love no matter the emotional impact on her...but at the same time she must be sacrificed for us to have clexa. sorry costia <3

on another note, you have a beautiful mind, and thank you for writing fics so amazing that so much emotional attachment can be made. genuinely get so excited to read anything you work on, and you reignited that motivation to read for me. thank you for all you do (:

i’m... i am speechless. because first of all, your music taste? flawless. these songs are those that tug at your heartstrings in such a particular way and i love them so much.

and!!!! your in depth analysis!!!!! i’m!!!! mrs. magic fits so well with all the angst at the beginning of eib, i know i’ll have it on repeat. it might be because southern au has a huge build up for the upcoming angst, so i’m focusing more on it (not just writing, but daydreaming about it) but having new songs thinking about it gave me feelings. they’re happy and with their little family unit, but they’ve been through so much that sometimes i don’t want to mess it up for them

but oh god, our pure baby costia sunshine of my life is gonna hurt so much so soon i want to protect her. she was just supposed to be mildly likable, where did i go wrong. “her bending over backwards for lexa’s love no matter the emotional impact on her” excuse me for a moment [goes to the forest and scream for three hours]