#But. Wkskoaoak. I've been too shaky lately and I'd simply like to move away form here
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Why do we have to introduce ourselves at the beginning of a course why what's the reason
#I am shaking horirbly#My legs are jello and my hands won't stay still#And all I had to do was say my name and age and where I'm form and my interests#and it felt like I was dying#Wtf brain#I'd like to disappear now though#My voice shook too much#I know this is how some of mt students feel when I ask for introductions but I always leave it up to them about how much to tell me and#when to tell me or whether tkey wanna tell me anything beside their name at all#I wish I never had to do it again#And I underatsnd professors who ask for introductions bcs it s#Much more efficient to know who you're teaching tl#But. Wkskoaoak. I've been too shaky lately and I'd simply like to move away form here#Last week I was shaking because I was about to order coffee. That was new.#How am I gonna go teach my own class now I don't think I can stand up#uuugghhhhhhhh#And. Like ech semester a professor asks if any of us have any tutoring/teaching jobs#And I've never said anything and it's been two years and at this point it feels like I'm lying#I'm not close to anyone and dont have any friends in uni at all and it feels like when my classmates find out they're gonna think I didn't#get close to them because I felt like I was superior#whirl that's not the truth#I'm just fkn rambling at this point#I'm gonna go disappear [shows up to the next class on time]#While I'm here I'm gonna get this out too: listening to my classmates introduce themselves always makes me feel the worst about myself bcs#everyone else is active and social and pursuing knowledge and having fun hobbies and here I am too shaky to speak up even if I know#the correct answers and working two jobs that leave me no energy or time to do what I like - I don't even know what I like beside literatur#then I remind myself that I shoisknt judge based on appearances and that I'm recovering and facing setbacks every day#the reminder doesn't do much#evth
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