#But yeah the anxiety hit me just now and now I'm sad as fuck lol

[katzirra]

Aggressively rubs my face, complaining about anything in life feels so tedious compared to what's going on in the world. World events and disasters and genocides and just fucking everything make you feel so small and worthless. Like god damn I feel guilty for thinking how stressed I am because HAHAH COULD BE WORSE, BITCH. WHICH is kind of a weird thing the internet really uh, perpetuates. Which is kinda what people get at when they say take care of your mental health.

Like I'm staying as up to date as I can but it's... wow it's hard to stomach, and it's hard to know what to do when you're in a financial spot lmao... Fucking god damn. Like carrying on like normal is really hard because there's that thought in the back of my mind right now about how upsetting it is realizing so many people can't do that. Will never do that again. It's like tv static in my head lately low key saddening me more and more.

But yaknow that just sounds like I'm complaining about a world event, but it's not. It's just...a profound sadness. Saturating things. I find myself just kinda sitting lately unsure what to be doing that feels... productive in this time. Not really feeling, uh, creative or happy. I dunno. Low simmering fear as well tbh.

That wasn't the topic I was planning to post about uh... FRIVOLOUS UPDATES I GUESS... I USE TO DO THOSE, YEAH? IDK WHO CARES ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE THESE DAYS TBH LOL

Taking a break from Xig because I'm just ..out of it and need the expectations off me for a second.

Having anxiety even checking my art blog because people weirdly correcting me/giving me a compliment that's shorter than a correction and making me come off rude telling them I'm not wrong makes me anxious as hell :))) so I end up avoiding my own haunts!!! How fucky is that.

I am almost done with my small sketchbook?? I was fixing a few pages up before hitting a few dried out Copics, which lead to me checking all of them to see who I needed to fix/replace and uh... relocate them in my office. Which became redoing my pen pouches and seeing if those got fucked up. Hopefully I'll finish that and start scanning. 2018-2023... with huge gaps in there lol...

I miss doing art I liked. Its kinda stagnant atm so I might take the rest of the year to do studies on angles and shit tbh. I need something. It all feels same same.

Uhhh figuring out some dental stuff - bought myself a bougie electric toothbrush and I think my old one's timer was fucked up and making me brush too long?? Which is bad!!! So this new one already has my teeth feeling better 👏 mom's genetics have me terrified!! My teeth feel better after two brushes??? insane.

Getting bloodwork done Thursday so hopefully figuring some shit out about my weight and health :))) I'd like to lose the like 20-45lb I mysteriously seemed to gain over the past few years??? Uhhh??? And figure my periods out, money has just been BAD since Hannibal's surgery....

Having panic scares about if my job is going away in December or not and hating every job listing I see online so I gotta look for whatever listing sites exist outside indeed. Also something this decent with the same pay :)))))) so that's on my todo list... again.

Box spring is busted on my bed, so hopefully I don't have to replace the mattress just yet because of the previous point AND THE FACT I JUST STARTED GETTING TO SAVE FOR MY PC..... first world problems but fuck, dudes. Vakarian is fucking suffering sometimes... :(( but we'll see because MATTRESS PRICES.......!!!

I cleaned my office and room and that made me feel like I've accomplished something for myself so that's... something.

Trying to focus on things. Depression cocktail is going on..... money, job, housing, health, the world... it's all so much all the time, man.

[daydreaming-in-daisies]

aaaaaand now I can't sleep bc of anxiety about my future and whether or not I'll even graduate next month 🙃

[random-snippets]

Most memorable omg I can't pick just one fic tho 😭😭 I've been re-reading them all a couple times lately (good for catharsis when I'm feeling upset but not *enough* to do anything about it. It's hard to explain) so I'm gonna pick one for each of my favorites if that's ok??? For Starved most memorable//favorite moment is when Virgil wakes up after Patton hugs him the first time and he passed out, and Logan is just teasing them both a little. For Snow Day it's DEF chapter two when Roman realizes Virgil probably got sick, not just got sad after seeing them (love me some sickfic tho) and how much farther the consequences of their actions potentially went. For Superfluous it's always the quote that will randomly hit me out of nowhere "the fourth place at the table, waiting for him. It's been there all along." Like rip my heart out why don't you???? In Solo when they all realize how bad at communication they are (miscommunication can be done really well or really poorly and you always do it REALLY WELL). Anti-Anxiety when he hugs Patton and tells him he loves him right before going to his room ready to disappear (again, just RIP IT OUT why don't you it would HURT LESS). And in Back Pain when all three of the boys just march through the door like a parade of healing (no I don't dream about being taken care of like that what are you talking about??). I'm sorry this got so long I've just been on a fic kick lately so I've been re-reading EVERYTHING and those are almost all of my favorites because they bring the good good hurt AND the good good comfort. (I promise I'm done now omg) 💜🐝

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa omg omg this comment is like the greatest thing ever asldkfjasldfkasjfdasfd ok ok so let me see Starved - LOL yeah Virgil was pretty embarrassed and Logan is just like. omg you guys are all hopeless. Snow Day - ooooof yeah I like sick fic too but like Roman having to imagine Virgil dealing with it on his own while the rest of them were just like "nice Anxiety is leaving us alone for once" aasdlfkjsafdsak Superfluous - alsdkfjasdflaska idk what to say here except THANK YOU but yeah I wanted that to be like... 'no duh dude we've been trying to invite you in for ages you're just really kind of clueless but we'll wait as long as it takes' Solo - TY omg I love miscommunication but it can be tough to walk that line between "understandable miscommunications" and "omg wtf why would anyone be this stupid ever JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER" and Solo really pushed that line so I'm glad it still worked for you!!

Anti-Anxiety -- I will take your word for it on this one. This is the fic that spiraled so far out of control that I no longer even remember what happened and I'm too embarrassed to go try to reread it because wtf fic. But it sounds like you still had enjoyable moments from it so I will take that as a win!! Back Pain - Ah yes that was definitely some wish-fulfillment stuff for me too so I hear ya there lol I just wanted Virgil to be in this position of relative disadvantage and obviously disability too and just be thinking 'well shit that was nice while it lasted I guess' and then have them be like "yeah fuck that you're more than just your back pain to us my dude we love you shut up and eat your M&Ms" LOL Thank you again!!

Seriously this comment was like Christmas morning so thank you so much!!!

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[tartagliaxx]

i'm late by like 3 days but like,,, you missed me???? 🥺🥺🥺 i'm saddd oh yeah, hello🕯 anon!!! i legitimately can't tell whether i missed an anon, hopefully not lol

and it's more like i just don't like ppl in general? i can talk to ppl online bc well, they're online and there's not rlly a sense of intimacy that's the same as irl. ppl irl either treat me as air (which is good) or bother me a lot (which is not good). i only have a couple ppl i've been comfortable with (like 4) in my entire life but all of them are gone except for my mother. and idk why my mind automatically goes ew whenever i see someone. my mind basically says that nope, that person is gonna hurt you or smth, so don't get too attached. actually, don't even get attached at all. so now even if somebody leaves or gets upset at me, i don't feel anything bc i just don't care. ngl, that's probably abnormal but well lmao

and for once when i actually wanted to lose my 50/50 to someone not diluc, kazuha came home. i have literally nothing for him bc i didn't expect him to come home??? like, i was just grinding for zhongli's artifacts but well. the good thing is that i have abt 50 pulls leftover since i only needed to hit 80 for him and my pity was already at 60. idk whether to be glad or sad that i didn't lose 50/50

— r. anon

of course i missed chu bby!! you’re my og bestie!! you’re up there in my tier list of favorite people! don’t go being sad on me now bc i’m going to cry w you 😭 anw,, hm... i dont think you missed anyone. actually, can i just say that it always makes me smile when you’re the first one to welcome the new anons? at this point you’re the honorary manager of this blog. i love that.

well, i kind of understand your pov? it’s very hard to be trusting nowadays when people are just,, so hard to trust. everyone’s a lil fucked in the head and it’s p hard to read through their actions especially when you’re worried abt their sincerity. i dont... really care for people? like i dont have much opinion on them. they exist the same way i do and i just like leaving them to their own devices. i recognize that social interactions are integral to one’s humanity but well... i’m incredibly lazy and paired w my hideous anxieties? dang, look at the time. it’s avoiding humans in general bc i cant be bothered to deal w the side effects o’clock.

is this what they call mission failed successfully? um idk but still! congrats!! kazuha’s v pretty and i’m sure that he’ll grow on you soon! i also have quite the few pulls left in my alt so i’m considering pulling for ayaka there instead of in my main so that i can stay devoted to my albedo conquest. ah idk anymore. so many first world problems. *head in hands*

hey hey bestie,, if you have the time let’s play together again! we could do that dreadful event together or maybe farm artifacts as well. it’s what i’ve been doing nowadays.

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah & Jac

Savannah: 🙌 forced family time is cancelled 🙌 hallelujah Savannah: what are we doing? Jac: Celebrating that, obviously 😘 Jac: What excuse did you use and/or what's the sitch? Savannah: Give me a guest list because honestly does not need to turn into a downer as soon as Savannah: it was a great excuse though, taking a mental health moment Savannah: school has me INCREDIBLY stressed Jac: It should be ILLEGAL how hard they make us work, though, preach 👏 Jac: Is totally doesn't get it because she isn't in the top sets like us Jac: it 👏 is 👏 SO 👏 much 👏 more 👏 work 👏 Savannah: if her mother wasn't a teaching assistant, she'd be languishing in the bottom set Savannah: even she knows it Savannah: IMAGINE if she worked at ours Jac: Seriously, ugh, she's stressing me out rn actually Jac: some of us are trying to keep good skin over here, babe, please 😬😖 Jac: She would die, it'd be bad enough having your mum be a teacher, but a teaching assistant like... 🙈 I can't Savannah: you were GLOWING when I left you Savannah: what's she done now? Jac: ❤❤❤ Jac: this is why you CANNOT okay Jac: if we are partying, we need to have such a pamper sesh first, NO ONE but you can 👀 me like this, I swear Jac: it's so typical her Jac: like I love you but the drama, and she always makes it herself Jac: she's 💔 about that boy, the one that's friends with Xav? LIKE I'M SORRY, you didn't even LIKE him before but now he's NOT available to you, hmm 🤔 interesting 💅 Savannah: Baby girl I have got you, my auntie just got this shit imported that's like next level skincare Savannah: you'll look as beautiful to everyone else as you do to me Savannah: 🚫🚫 Is Savannah: I don't know what boy she means so he's obviously not all that important, my god Jac: 🙌 Come through Auntie!!! Jac: you are THE sweetest angel, like how did I even survive before you ??? Jac: 🙄 Serious! Jac: She's definitely mad I'm over it but like, we all have shit on our 🧠 and it's frankly way more important than this non-drama boy drama Jac: you weren't out there looking for sympathy and you're actually struggling, like, why can't she be more like you, and everyone else too, tbh 😘😘 Savannah: I'm religious about this one serum, you will be about ready to die seeing yourself afterwards Savannah: & so will everyone else we invite to this party Savannah: it's no wonder you're over it, she can't let a single thing go! The leggings incident being case in point, it happened such a long time ago Savannah: but she still has to be in my face about it Savannah: Like, sometimes depressed people are slightly thoughtless Savannah: let me live Jac: I'm SO here for this Jac: you wanna come over here? Jude is out and I can easily get rid of the others too Jac: FACTS Jac: you think she'd be more understanding Jac: someone who claims to have social anxiety, remember that too? Jac: WHERE THOUGH??? 😂 Jac: I'm so much quieter than her, like, it's such an excuse with her for when she embarrasses herself or doesn't want to do something Savannah: YES to everything! Savannah: & remember when she had too many shots at Laura's 15th Savannah: Say you think I'm faking it if that's what you think Savannah: I can't cry constantly, I don't look cute doing it Jac: You ALWAYS look cute and that's like all her issue Jac: it's really blatant Jac: babe, the insecurity, it's so sad ���� Savannah: The last thing I want is for Ty to think that I'm upset because of him when he's the sweetest and the most understanding boo ever but that's clearly what she wants Savannah: he'd be so upset if he saw me cry Jac: ❤❤ such a good boy Jac: her jealousy is so out of control Jac: I wanna help her but how is lashing out at us, her ONLY friends, helpful? Jac: why should we, sometimes, honestly Savannah: every time I've suggested a work out, she shoots me down Savannah: I can't be any more helpful, it's really beneficial & you refuse to try Jac: it's pure laziness Jac: like you said, she'd be bottom everything if her mum didn't like DO her work for her Jac: 🙄 over it, like, lowkey don't even wanna invite her rn Savannah: we could have it at mine, you know what my family get like when there's too many people Savannah: it's not personal Isabelle, it's my mum's crazy acting up Jac: See if she's gonna pop off on your mum too, like Jac: Ugh, I dunno Jac: do we give her a chance to redeem herself? Savannah: The divorce hit hard, as well you know Is, that's why my auntie lives here Savannah: Ooh what kind of chance? Jac: She doesn't get anything about real life Jac: be lucky if her mammy and daddy let her come anyway 😏 Jac: I'm thinking, okay, don't judge me for this 🙊🙊🙊 Savannah: never Savannah: you're perfect Jac: love ❤❤ Jac: So, she's made her bed by acting all salty about this boy, yeah? So, for all this nonsense, I think she needs to invite Shane and let me have him Jac: because she can't POSSIBLY be into him really if she's still hung up on this other boy? Like, that's not fair Savannah: she would string him along but we're not letting her Savannah: There's no way Shane deserves that Savannah: he doesn't deserve you either because WHO could but if you want him Jac: and actually me and him have way better chats and so much more in common Savannah: he's told Ty endless amounts about how much he likes you, bear with, I'll show you Jac: He's really cute, right? Jac: 🤭 oh my god, babe Savannah: [a million screenshots that you don't deserve to have, get off your man's phone hoe] Jac: 1000% saving them Jac: she'll act so pressed but he wants me anyway, what are you gonna do? FORCE him? 🙄 girl, STOP 🛑 Savannah: ^^ 👏 Savannah: remember when she kept walking away from Aaron & he told her to stop & like TOUCHED her arm, she acted like he grabbed her or something Savannah: double standard there Jac: OMG yes Jac: like, I swear she wants to RUIN these boy's lives, who hurt her? 🤔 it's not cute, cannot deal with girls like that 🙅 Savannah: Let the boy speak Savannah: my dad left & I'm not taking it out on my boyfriend Jac: ^^ the immaturity Jac: we're out here trying to grow and heal and be the best versions of ourselves we can be Jac: and she just... 😑 I can't Savannah: she needs Jesus & we're closer to Buddhists 👌💅 Jac: Literally Jac: IMAGINE if I was still stuck with just her and Amelia Anderson, please Jac: actually saved me 🙏🙌😇❤ Savannah: Honey, NO I will not think about it Savannah: I swear you're my soulmate Jac: It's SO true Jac: no one else is on our level, I swear Jac: you just get it Savannah: who was I & what was I doing before I knew you? Savannah: it hurts my heart to even think about past me Jac: Me too 🥺 Jac: but no one is ever gonna fuck with you again, I swear Jac: least of all Is, that's that 👋 Savannah: now I am crying Savannah: I love you Jac: I love you too Jac: we're totally taking my dad's best 📷 and having a MOMENT Jac: the world has gotta see how good we look after our skincare vibes Savannah: everything I ordered during my midnight madness has arrived & there's a dress I'm giving to you Savannah: Shane will die Jac: You are the MOST generous, best best friend ever, I can't even Savannah: how do you want your make up because we can do barely there since you'll be 🌟✨ Savannah: or you can make a statement that you're ready to go all in for him and bring that effort Jac: What do you think? Savannah: You never have to go hard with your 😇 face Savannah: there's no flaws to hide Jac: 😚😚😚 okay then Jac: that's the mood Jac: like I'm not crazy 💕 on him, or anything but he's sweet, we could be cute Jac: not as cute as you and Ty, of course 😘 Savannah: You'll feel it when you feel it Savannah: if you forced it you'd be like Is Jac: 😱😱 NEVER Savannah: she's trying to start a conversation with me Savannah: I don't want this Jac: Oh my GOD Jac: and when does she ever Jac: bet she wants to bitch about me Savannah: Yeah totally Savannah: Who does she think I am? You're my everything Jac: You can see if she does though, play along Savannah: She's started unprompted! Savannah: 'What's Jac's problem with me? Why's she being like this' Savannah: Let me say hello Jac: Wow, like, where's the 'how are you?' but I'm the rude one 🤷 Savannah: Are you okay JJ? Savannah: this is so unnecessarily mean girl of her Jac: Like, I'm so unsurprised but Jac: what's my problem, why is it MY problem suddenly Savannah: ^^ Savannah: [screenshots screenshots screenshots lol] Savannah: she's the one with all the issues, look Jac: 🙄🙄 how much of this did you just say to my face, babe? Jac: if you can't then maybe you should keep it to yourself Savannah: I feel sad Jac: 😿 Jac: we can't let her ruin our night with whatever negativity she's trying to bring rn Savannah: if she's not bringing your boy to you I don't want her around me Savannah: she has to Jac: Like, seriously, do we even invite you? Jac: Ty knows Shane Jac: I was being a good friend and essentially asking for her blessing but why when it just gets thrown in my face like this Savannah: She doesn't deserve to be your friend Jac: It does feel that way 😟 Jac: just so glad I have you Savannah: It can be the 4 of us, you'll feel so much better Jac: I think so Jac: just not in that party mood now Savannah: I'm gonna pamper you & then Shane will too, that's the mood now Jac: 😍🙏 Jac: thank you so much Jac: that's what I need rn, forget her Savannah: She can cry all she wants, I'm not interested Savannah: we're gonna have the best time Jac: We always do Jac: especially when she's not there draining our energy Savannah: Come over whenever Savannah: Ty's got basketball & then he'll be standing in front of the mirror forever post shower taking selfies Savannah: if I wasn't so secure I'd be worried about the time he spends photographing his muscles Jac: his ❤ and 👀 are on 🔒 Jac: bless him Savannah: I can't imagine being with anyone else Savannah: if he leaves me I'll be joining my mum as a wreck who stays in bed constantly Jac: He never will Jac: he's not INSANE Savannah: am I too much? I feel like I have that gene Jac: Oh please Jac: he's rightly obsessed with you Jac: you're so gonna be together forever and get married and have all the cute babies Savannah: They would be the cutest Savannah: I hate not being from a big, close family like yours Savannah: I'm gonna make one Jac: Hey, you're my sister Jac: soulsisters, right, no matter what Savannah: Yes! Savannah: We're gonna be together forever too Savannah: & our babies will grow up as best friends Jac: That will be the best Jac: I wish we'd known each other from being babies too Jac: you were so sweet omg 🥺 Savannah: Shoutout to your dad for taking the perfect amount of pictures of how perfect you've always been Savannah: 👼🏻 Jac: Some of them are so cringe though 😒😂 Jac: thanks so much, dad 👌 Savannah: my dad's head has been ✂ out of all of ours Savannah: what could be more cringe? Savannah: my mum can literally never stop herself Jac: do you have any you managed to save? Savannah: I have some she didn't know were in my room Jac: that's good Jac: you could do something with them Jac: or, failing that ✂ her head out Savannah: Will you help me? Savannah: you're like the most artistic person I've ever met Jac: Of course I will Jac: we could make a frame out of 🌷 🌹 🌺 🌸 🌼 🌻 Savannah: OH Savannah: I love that Jac: Right? Kind of everything Jac: we could get one of those fake garlands to hang all our polaroids on too Savannah: 🥰 Savannah: this is why you're in top set for everything Jac: Awh, I just like beautiful things Jac: that's why we're best friends Savannah: you're SUCH a beautiful thing Savannah: I hope you know Jac: Thanks to you Jac: NEVER gonna let you forget ❤ Savannah: Do you need a lift? My auntie is asking because she loves you too Jac: 😭😭 family of 😇s Jac: yes please 😘 Savannah: 10 minutes, baby

[kfawkes]

Heey, it's the anon who asked the request question! Thanks for explaining, I'm kind of new to this whole Tumblr thing. Okay, so I wanted to ask if you could do a Pre-Kingsman! Eggsy x Reader where Eggsy would go over to the reader's house to escape Dean's bullshit. Thank you, and have a wonderful day!

[Hi there! Thanks so much for the request :D Sorry this is late ;.; As i’m assuming you know, I’ve had back to back cons and been so busy. Buuuut it’s break time so I’m gettin to it!

HOPE YOU LIKE IT MY SWEET ANON ;.; I think this is good???? but frequently when I get back form however many days off, I can’t tell because I read them so much lmao

Pairing: Eggsy x Reader – Pre Kingsman; ref to Daisy, Michelle and Dean.

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: Cursing, abuse references (its obvious Dean is abusive, so keep that in mind– nothing too bad though it’s mostly the aftermath, etc.)

—Read on Ao3!]

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.

“E-Eggsy..?” You leaned over quickly, turning on the light by your bed as you scratched your tired eyes awake. 

You fumbled around for your phone sleepily, knocking it off the bed in a loud crash. Even without seeing a name and photo across the screen- you knew it would be him. Eggsy was the only person that ever called you in the middle of the night and those calls usually meant one thing.

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.

“Fuck.” You breathed out, leaning over the bed reaching your fingers long as the buzzing phone inched slowly away with each pulse. 

You slid it closer with your fingertips, pulling it to your ear as you nearly fell out of bed hoping to answer just in time.

“H-hello? Eggsy?” When you spoke you weren’t rushed, but you weren’t exactly calm either… 

You were definitely scared though that much was clear, and as you slunk back to the bed stuffing yourself comfortably under the warmth of the covers you felt a blanket of panic surrounding you.

“Sorry, luv… Was you sleepin’?” Eggsy asked almost convincingly calm, but you could feel the duress seeping off him as he spoke. You could hear as a deep breath was released before he continued, lighter than before. “Corse you was, it’s nea–”

“Babe, it’s fine… seriously.” You pulled yourself to sit against your headboard interrupting him, unable to hold the yawn you held any longer. 

You knew the answer before you asked it, but maybe just this once Eggsy would be alright… Maybe just this once he was calling to tell you how much he loved you. But more likely, he was calling because of Dean. 

“Are you okay?” You finally asked, holding a fist of blanket between your nervous palms.

“Could use you bout now… was wonderin’ if you wanted some company?” 

“You don’t have me to keep asking me that. I gave you a key for a reason, Eggsy.” You said confidently pulling your arms into a long stretch just as you heard a key sliding into the lock, echoing throughout your flat. 

You smiled to yourself as the door creeped open, and a set of familiar footsteps grew louder.

“How’s it that sayin’ goes?” You could hear Eggsy’s voice over the phone, and in the hallway as he approached; and you felt a wave of excitement cascading your lower stomach persistently covering your anxiety in full. “What’s it… ‘old habits die hard’, innit?”

“I do believe that’s the one.” You whispered sarcastically into the phone one last time just as he pushed opened your bedroom door. 

You let your phone drop from your hand as Eggsy took a step forward, tucking his hands in his sweater pockets anxiously. Even though you expected to see him like this– it was hard. 

Really fucking hard. So hard that you didn’t even know what to say this time.

Eggsy stood there with a busted lip, a black eye and a small gash on the left side of his forehead. Your jaw hung lightly open as a sadness swept your otherwise serene face. 

You were getting pretty fucking sick of seeing Eggsy like this… There was something about seeing the man you loved broken, bruised and bloodied that sent you into an almost unchecked fury; and honestly if Dean was there you weren’t sure what you’d do to him.

Hell, you’d probably try to kill the son of a bitch if that fury wasn’t also accompanied by one of the worst pains you’d ever felt. All of that was usually followed by sadness and an almost desperate need to hug him and tell him you loved him. 

But you weren’t there yet… The anger part was still in full swing and you fucking hated Dean. He really was a special breed of asshole; truly unique in his abilities to royal fuck everything up around him and how an amazing woman like Michelle ended up with him, was beyond you. 

Fortunately for you, you’d only met the prick once, but he surely lived up to his reputation. Slimy, scummy, far too cocky for his own good and abusive beyond all else. You’d lost count of how many times you had to clean Eggsy up, and no matter how often it happened, it never got any easier.

But he needed you and he needed you to be strong; so you pushed your blankets aside with heavy eyes as you crawled towards the end of the bed. He stood there with his jaw clenched tightly with eyes dark and burdened. When you reached him you pushed to your knees, sliding your hands up his chest to rest around his neck softly. 

“What happened, baby?” Your voice was soft and light as you moved your hand to his cheek, lightly tracing the raised and reddened flesh. 

Eggsy pursed his lips painfully– more from the face you wore than anything physical he felt– then swallowed as you slid your fingertips over the cut in his lip.

“Same as always, luv. Don’t worry bout it though, yeah?” He faked a smile finally pulling his hands from his pocked, placing them around your waist. “Got you now, don’I?” 

When he smiled this time it was real, and you even though it hurt, you smiled back pulling him into a hug. You could feel the warmth of his breath as he pressed his mouth into your shoulder; hugging you just as tightly. 

“Always, babe. Now, let’s get you cleaned up.” You slid away with a smile, kissing him on the cheek before stepping from the bed. 

As you walked lazily from the room you slid your fingers between his, pulling him slightly behind you and down the hall. Your cat Nimbus jumped on the counter with a loud purr after you shoved the bathroom door open causing Eggsy to smile sweetly. 

He walked forward, sitting on the rim of the tub as he pet your roommate softly; having grown fully used to this routine. 

“You gonna make me ask you about all this again, Eggy?” Your lips curled into a soft smile as you slide your hand to his chin; lifting his face towards yours as you examine him more carefully. “And ‘the usual’ isn’t going to cut it this time, so don’t even try it.”

Right now you realize you’d gotten a little too good at cleaning him up, and that made you more than a little uneasy. But after the 5th or so time, you at least were better at hiding the shock from your face. 

Or maybe you weren’t now that you thought about it…

“Nah, know better than that by now.” Eggsy slid his bottom lip between his teeth playfully as he raised a hand to the side of your thigh, giving your leg a soft shake as he stare up at you affectionately.

You tried not to smile as you dabbed his forehead and mouth, cleaning up the dried blood and erasing any evidence you could. It wasn’t always easy to pretend this was normal, but you really did try and as much as you didn’t want to admit it… this sort of was normal, wasn’t it? 

That realization made you more sick than you wanted to show however, and right then you were glad Eggsy was distracted by the cat; because your face sure as shit wouldn’t have been believable.

“You best get talkin, Unwin. Final warning.” You were far more collected than you felt when you spoke, and for that you were thankful.

You even managed to sound a little playful this time which was reassuring. Maybe you were better at this than you thought.

“Yeah, alright.” He released a sigh, still running his hand up and down the back of your thigh slowly as he watched how intently you cared for him. “Got home. Dean was smashed… banging on an gettin’ rough with my mum– woulda hit her if I done nothin’, so I did.”

You breathed out sharply as you pulled the box of bandages from the cabinet; furrowing your brow into a fine crinkle. “Do… you know why?”

“Fuck if I do, babe… Why’s that prick do anythin’ he does, hm?” 

“Is she doing okay?” You asked reluctantly, but you knew there was no way Eggsy would be here if Daisy and his mum weren’t safe. “And the baby?”

“Course they are, don’t worry.” Eggsy squeezed just above the back of your knee as reassuringly and as sincerely as he could muster. 

Biting back the stinging at his forehead was only tolerable because you were there, and damn if you didn’t look beautiful. Eggsy didn’t think he’d ever meet someone that would love him, flaws and all; yet here you were showing him someone could, and fuck if he didn’t love you immensely.

“He could of really hurt you.” When you finished he pulled you down to his lap; holding a strong confidence behind his eyes as you placed your arms around his neck. “I can’t lose you…”

“Ain’t gonna happen, babe. Not now, not ever. Alright?” He kissed you then, finally and in that moment you believed him.

You felt the soft chuckle he released as his lips curled into a smile; still pressed against yours. A moment later he slid his hands under your legs, picking you up like you weighed nothing at all. A soft yelp released your mouth and you grabbed ahold of him tightly as he pushed the door open with his foot, carrying you to your bedroom. 

“Alright.” You said with a smile, sliding his lips to yours.

A part of you knew you should talk about this– about what happened. But that’s not what he needed. Right now what Eggsy needed was you and you were more than happy to oblige.

[akitarusx]

for the "Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well": 1, 3, 8, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 20, 22, 23, 27, 28, 30, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 41, 42, 44, 46, 47, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 56, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 66, 68, 69, 71, 73, 74, 77, 78, 80, 81, 83, 84, 86, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 100 :DD I'M SORRY I REALLY WANTED TO ONLY DO TWO LINES OF NUMBERS BUT ENDED UP WITH FOUR I JUST WANT TO GET TO YOU KNOW I'M SORRY (i honestly wanted you to answer all but that's a bit too much lmao)

I put them below the cut! I hope I answered all of them / didn’t add extra. lol  💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕get to know me uncomfortably well.

1. What is you middlename? Taylor.

3. When is yourbirthday? October 5th!

8. Where are youfrom? South Carolina.

13. What talents doyou have? Uhh. I don’t think I have any? Lol. I used to play piano. Thatwas my only talent. Writing too, I guess.

14. Are you psychicin any way? Lmao no jdfjsfsjdjds

15. Favorite song?Hmm currently it is…. Games – Demi Lovato or Dramarama by Monsta X

16. Favorite movie?Moana.

17. Who would be yourideal partner? Someone who can understand my mental illness and won’tostracize me or belittle me for it. Someone who won’t be overbearingly socialand that is just laid back. Idk someone who’s just super chill and nice. Whodoesn’t look for all out things or expect a whole lot from me and I wont expecta whole lot from them beyond both of us having a healthy understandingrelationship. But, the thing about that is, I’d have to be completely andutterly comfortable with them as in they’d have to be my friend for a good twoyears at least to even have my trust. Which lmao makes me feel bad because Isee so many people NOT having to do that and so then I feel bad but if someonetruly loved me like that I imagine it’s something they could understand andhandle until I’m ready.

20. Are youreligious? Not really, no.

22. Have you ever gotin trouble with the law? Nope!

23. Have you ever metany celebrities? I met Patina Miller! She was in The Hunger Games and she’sfrom Madam Secretary and the musical Pippin to name a couple of things lmao.She’s so sweet.

27. Would you like tobe a big celebrity? No. If I was ever a celebrity, though, I would like itto be like general recognition where I live for cooking.

28. What type ofmusic do you like? I like most anything really?? I wind up liking a songfor beats half the time lol. I like slow songs but I can’t listen to them awhole lot or I’ll get bored / side-tracked.

30. How many pillowsdo you sleep with? 2 to 3.

33. What do youtypically have for breakfast? I don’t eat breakfast – but any childrenreading this you better eat your breakfast or I’m going to fight you. On secondthought, anyone reading this EAT YOUR BREAKFAST AND EAT YOUR MEALS.

34. Have you everfired a gun? Yes.

35. Have you evertried archery? Yes. Failed miserably. Probably cause I was like 10 and weakas hell lmao

36. Favorite cleanword? Uh….beautiful I guess? Lmao I never think abt that.

37. Favorite swearword? Fuck

38. What's thelongest you've ever gone without sleep? 48 hours and some. Dark time lol. 2to 3 days without sleep sometimes.

39. Do you have anyscars? Yes! I have a scar on my left knee from falling off my bike and on asharp rock when I was a kid. I have a scar on my right hand right on theknuckle of my index finger from catching my hand on a metal door to try andkeep it from closing on me.  I have a veryfaint scar below that across my right hand where my hand hit the oven elementwhen I was baking a cake and my mother scared me. It’s almost completely gonenow. And on my right arm I have a long scar from a baking pan from when I wasin culinary school. I don’t know how I got it, really. Because it didn’t stingor anything. I just happened to look down and see the burn because my team matewas like Morgan oh my god what did you do lmao. Chef instructor made me putsome gel on it and cover it up so the gel would stay for rest of the class

40. Have you ever hada secret admirer? Nope. Never. Lol :\

41. Are you a goodliar? No. And even when I’m not lying and I’m being asked for the truth Igiggle my way through it t_t

42. Are you a goodjudge of character? Lmao NOT REALLY I mean maybe now I am but back when Iwas younger lmao nope

44. Do you have astrong accent? Lmao probably I’m in the south. I get made fun of thoughbecause apparently I use a lot of northern phrases/pronunciations too. Idk if I’vedone it recently but when I was younger I got made fun of a lot by my grandfathersdfjasdfjsj lmao

46. What is yourpersonality type? Ok I asked my friends this for an accurate depictionlmao.

@kimbeokjin said: both of yall are some fucking WRECKS thatsur personality type. on a serious note ur sensitive and understanding and fullof too much love and anxiety. ur funny and super family oriented and talentedand generally positive. and an intellectual ur truly the ONLY white girl i trust

47. What is your mostexpensive piece of clothing? A red lace dress.

50. Left or righthanded? Right handed.

51. Are you scared ofspiders? Yes and no. Like I don’t inherently fear them, but I always getfreaked out when they show up because I don’t expect them so my scary ass jumpslol

52. Favorite food?Hmmm my mom’s spaghetti/the recipe.

53. Favorite foreignfood? Hmmm I haven’t really gotten to eat a whole lot of foreign food whichmakes me sad but I really, really loved an udon bowl I had at a Japanese restaurantat the beach.

54. Are you a cleanor messy person? Messy.

56. Most used word?Probably mess or childish

57. How long does ittake for you to get ready? Sometimes less than 15 minutes, sometimes up to twohours.

58. Do you have muchof an ego? I don’t think so at least

59. Do you suck orbite lollipops? Both lol

60. Do you talk toyourself? Mostly when I’m cooking

61. Do you sing toyourself? Yes!

62. Are you a goodsinger? Lmao no

63. Biggest Fear?Abandonment. Failure. Not being good enough.

64. Are you a gossip?yes

66. Do you like longor short hair? I love long hair on me personally but I love short and longhair on women and men lol

67. Can you name all50 states of America? Lmao no I always get close so I get like 40 of themnamed then I’m like UHHHHHH

68. Favorite school subject? English.

69. Extrovert orIntrovert? Introvert. Extrovert when I’ve gotta get those extra points lol

71. What makes younervous? Insanely large crowds. Men. Older men to be specific. Okay, yeahall men lol. There are very few dudes I trust but men in public tend to make mesuper nervous when they stare like they were raised in a damn barn lol

73. Do you correctpeople when they make mistakes? Not entirely

74. Are you ticklish? Yes

77. Have you everdrank underage? Heheh yeah …

78. Have you everdone drugs? Nope!

80. How manypiercings do you have? I have one ear piercing on both ears and I had anose piercing but I accidentally ripped it out and couldn’t replace it.

81. Can you roll yourRs? No

82. How fast can youtype? I think last I checked it was 120-130 words per minute

83. How fast can yourun? Lmao I have no idea

84. What color isyour hair? Brunette/dark brown

86. What are youallergic to? Apparently I have a slight allergy to squash onions and appleslol. I am allergic to dust though.

88. What do yourparents do? My dad is a maintenance supervisor.

89. Do you like your age? YES

90. What makes youangry? Racism homophobia sexism etc. a particular thing that makes me angrycurrently in rampant anti-blackness in kpop.

91. Do you like yourown name? Yes!

92. Have you alreadythought of baby names, and if so what are they? I have but…I’m not reallysure lol :\

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I want a girl themost. But I’d love to have a girl and a boy.

94. What are your strengths? I don’t have any I feel.

95. What are your weaknesses? Insecurity.

100. Color of your room? Blue