#But like seriously I'll probably have this done by the end of the month barring depression or work stuff

[coolgreatwebsite]

Happy 1 Million Views to the Video That Broke Me

This is a repost of something I wrote over on my Cohost, but I figured a year later it should also probably live on the domain I pay money to have. Better late than never!

This is the most successful piece of content I have ever created. At one million views it is the thing I've made that people have seen the most. It is the thing that the most people have seen my name attached to. And it's total trash.

It's 2017 and we're a week or so out from the release of Sonic Mania, a game that I'm, at that point, pretty damn excited for. A kindly poster from the Something Awful forums (that I have known from many forums previous) poses a challenge: be the first to beat his short kaizo Sonic the Hedgehog 2 ROM hack and he'll gift you a copy of Sonic Mania on Steam when it comes out.

I was already getting the game on PS4 but I figured whatever, everyone else seems to be having trouble with it, I'm bored, I got nothing better to do, I'll give it a shot. I load up KEGA Fusion, start a low bitrate and resolution OBS recording because it'll probably take a few hours and who cares it's a forum contest verification video, and get to work. A hour and half-ish goes by and I'm finished with the hack. I upload the video to YouTube, post it in the thread, win my free copy of Sonic Mania, and that's the end of the story. Thanks for reading.

Except of course it's not the end of the story. A few months after I got done thoroughly enjoying Sonic Mania, I realized that I'd been getting a weird amount of new subscriber emails from YouTube. I decided to actually look at my metrics and noticed a uh, highly localized spike of activity. Give you one guess on which video (hint: it's the one this post is about). "The Algorithm" had suddenly taken it and was running away with it at lightning speed.

In the timespan between posting the video and this spike, YouTube had announced they were drastically raising the bar on the metrics you needed to hit to have your channel monetized. I was by no means a large YouTuber at the time, but I was meeting the old requirements for monetization just fine. I wasn't anywhere near meeting the new requirements until now and this video was blowing the hell up for whatever reason, so I decided to do what any good opportunist would do and made it an unwatchable experience.

I set the ad frequency on that thing to the maximum that it'd let me. I forget exactly how frequent that was but it was something absurd like an ad every 5 minutes. Maybe even more than that. I figured I'd either get rich or maybe it would make people stop watching and leaving the worst comments in the world. Seriously the comments on this thing are their own nightmare, a bizarre soup of people ascribing meaning to nothing, trying to suss out emotions where there are none, saying complete gibberish, I'd need an entire second post to unpack whatever the hell is going on there.

Well, I wouldn't quite say I got rich. The money you get off what most people would conventionally call a popular YouTube video is just not much in the grand scheme of things. But holy shit they didn't stop watching. If anything they were watching more. Why didn't they stop watching? This video was less than nothing. It was an ordeal to watch all the way through. Why were they doing this? Why was the algorithm showing this to everyone? Why this and not one of the things I put effort into or something that was at least meant to be entertaining at all? I didn't have the answers and I still don't.

Before this I personally wasn't lamenting the possibility of losing monetization on my channel as up until this point I had made around $40 total on YouTube in the decade or so I'd had a channel. But I had been spending a lot that time watching friends with channels around the size of mine who were actively hustling to, and unfortunately failing to, meet the new hurdle. They were putting out some really good shit. Way better than my stuff, frankly. And here I was getting launched to the finish line by... a throwaway, blurry, hour and a half long, commentary-free, save state abusing playthrough of a crummy Sonic ROM hack? That I had made as a means to a completely separate end?? That got promoted by a computer program for seemingly no reason???

It felt shitty. One of the friends I mentioned in that last paragraph was my longtime friend Fotts who was in the middle of getting their (sadly now dormant) series TAS Force off the ground. They were constantly tweeting about the ordeal of trying to meet the new monetization requirements and it was a damn shame because they were putting in a ton of effort and it was great. The kind of thing I'd watch even if I wasn't friends with anyone on it. It was a million times funnier than anything I was doing, and the complete opposite of my shitty contest video. If there was any justice in this world the views I was getting on this dumpster fire would be going to them. But as it turns out, there is no justice online.

I recalled a conversation I had with them a few years back while they, I, and a group of about 7 or so other friends were all wandering around an Orlando Wal-Mart wearing identical black t-shirts that read "MARVEL CAN SUCK MY COCK" in big block letters (long story). They had actually kind of gone through this sort of thing before. See, they're the uploader and one of the voices of this video you may or may not have seen with 6.5+ million views on it.

They lamented to me many of the laments I was currently lamenting. "This was just a stupid throwaway thing", "why is this so much more popular than the stuff I put effort into", "it's just me making PaRappa the Rapper say the word 'Chinese' over and over". Ok maybe that last one was a bit more specific to them. Anyway, I responded with (and I admit a lot of the reason I felt this way was because I thought and still think the video is funny) something along the lines of "you can't pick what hits for people, it might have been throwaway but at the end of the day you posted it because you thought it was at least a little bit funny, try and focus on the fact that you have a popular video at all rather than the fact it's not one of the videos you're particularly proud of".

But yeah damn turns out that advice is easier said than done when it happens to you, and it's even harder done when it happens to a factually not entertaining video. One you could have uploaded as unlisted and achieved your intended result with. The runaway success of this thing genuinely broke me on this whole "Internet" deal.

I should stress I mean this in a good way. I realized that it's not so much that you can't pick what hits for people, it's that you physically cannot pick what gets put in front of people. The people cannot pick what hits for them. A computer does. You can try and promote and affect what gets seen in your own small sphere of influence, but ultimately we are, on YouTube and on all of our social platforms, at the mercy of a black box of computer programs that I'm not even sure the people who created them understand anymore. I'd obviously known this on some level prior to this video existing, but bearing witness to it all happening firsthand to this video in particular was another thing entirely. Anything prior that I had achieved marginally similar success with (there were a couple that had broken 100k) was meant to be entertaining. It was meant for people to watch and go "I liked that", not for one guy on a forum to see and go "good work solving my maze Superman". I could classify the success as "neat, people liked that one" in my brain. This defied classification.

The only logical conclusion was that it truly didn't matter what I uploaded. It's all decided by a random machine picking things at random to serve random amounts of people, and the people click on it and watch it simply because it is there. You can poke at the machine, prod at the machine, try to guess what the machine likes, try to iterate on something the machine has previously demonstrated that it likes. It's all an effort to get the machine to put it in front of the people who will click it because it is there. That's what all the bigger capital-C Content Creators do. From the high level stuff of "what kind of things do I upload" to the low level minutia of "how many curse words can I say in the first minute", making it Big On Line in any capacity is about trying to appease an unknowable mechanical entity and nothing else. It's either that or you're "old money" in a sense, established before this all became the case.

And again, the bigger names do this. Entire companies do this. If I were "smart" I would have pivoted my entire YouTube channel to nothing but hour and a half long commentary-free bullshit hard ROM hack playthroughs. Maybe another one would hit like this did. But for the life of me I could not and cannot think of anything more soul crushing.

I wouldn't say I had aspirations to be a Big Time YouTube Man, but at that time I would have maybe liked to be a Moderate Size YouTube Man. Or a moderate size Twitch man. Someone who had people watching but was still able to have fun with it and do his own thing. This newfound realization that it was truly a random lottery, even beyond the random lottery that most of human life is, that becoming any size bigger than Small Time was literally decided by an actual factual random number generator, freed me from the desire to do anything that I didn't want to do. If actively chasing success on these modern, algorithmically-driven platforms, actively going after "Kaizo Sonic 2 Full Run" numbers, meant putting aside the things I like and reinventing myself and the things I do down to the minute details in order to appease a literal ghost beyond anyone's understanding or control that changes what it's looking for on a whim, then I did not want to do that. I did not want to keep a timer for when I could talk normal, I did not want to announce my streams on Twitter with the link in a separate reply one day, in an embedded image the next, and in my display name the next. If there is absolutely one thing I do not want to do in my life, it's dance for a robot.

But the most freeing thing about realizing this is that it also meant if I just kept doing stuff I liked, maybe, someday, I could get lucky enough to where the unknowable internet robot would push that in front of a million or so people. In the grand scheme of things it's about an equal chance of that happening on something I like and am proud of versus something I made in a desperate cloying attempt to placate an algorithm.

Anyway damn this got long and rambly sorry about that lol. This was initially meant to just be a little toast to the 5 year-ish anniversary of me fully becoming an Internet nihilist. Remember folks, it's meaningless to chase success in an algorithm dominated landscape. In the words of a certain extremely Normal-type man, "real life isn't all just being true to yourself", but I reject the notion that the Internet is not or should not be, in spite of the legion of ghouls and freaks at the top of the chain actively trying to make that the case every day.

Be true to yourself. Do what you love, make what you love, post what you love, and maybe if you're lucky a computer somewhere will decide it's your turn, because that's the single deciding factor in all of this. In the mean time, you'll end up slowly and naturally surrounding yourself with cool people who get you, if only a little bit. At least that's what's happened for me so far. I've been pretty alright with it.

[norangeyyy]

Late Night HCs

Bucci Gang Edition

TW: nothing too extreme, just a little bit of hurt/comfort stuff sprinkled right here and there.

Bruno Bucciarati

► Bucciarati typically doesn't stay up late at night, he has work and would squeeze all the amount of sleep he can get on his free time.

► Unless he has a lot of things in mind.

► It doesn't matter whether it's a work-related problem, his past, a random thought, or just generally his worries about his future. It will keep him up.

► He'll definitely need someone to be an outlet but if no one's available, he'll just stare at the night sky and distract himself with the moving clouds or finish some of his work until he's too tired to think of anything.

► If you happen to be in the same situation and same place that night though, then make sure that you take care of the trust he has for you when he was at most vulnerable and he will do same with you.

► I personally headcannon Bucciarati to be the type to like those kind of conversations since i highly doubt that he has been so vulnerable in front of anyone besides Abbachio ever since he joined the mafia.

► And even then, he's mostly the one who lifts the spirits up and not the other way around since he's the leader.

► So expect to hear things and words you wouldn't expect to come from the Bucciarati you see everyday come spilling out of his mouth, it'll be a lot.

► Pat his back or better yet, give him a hug and brush his hair while doing so. He needs it a lot since he hasn't really got one after his family fell apart.

► "I feel so much better now, thank you. I'll make sure not to forget about this night. "

Leone Abbachio

► The night owl of the gang.

► Staying up until 3AM is nothing new to this man, hell, he could even go on a whole day without sleep if he has a lot of things that's bothering him.

► He's the opposite of Bucciarati, he prefers to shoulder his intrusive thoughts alone. It'd take some great amount of effort and trust to make him talk and let it out.

► What he does during those times is either using his stand to replay certain memories that could either worsen his guilt or put him at ease, or just drink until he passes out but most of the time, he does both.

► He could also be listening to some music while he does so but if he's feeling guilty for making Bucciarati concerned about his frequent drinking, then he'll just listen to music and hope that he'll fall asleep and not just keep his eyes closed until the sun rises.

► It works, kind of, but even without alcohol driving him to sleep, he'll always be tired. His sleeping schedule is seriously messed up because he never really cared about it in the first place.

► Would sometimes go out for a walk. Leone is fond of the city's peacefulness when everyone is asleep, with the only thing keeping him accompany is the cold air and the dim light of the lampposts.

► Secretly still has his police uniform and would occasionally take it out just to stare at it or talk to it in a not-so-kind of way as he sees his younger self in it.

► Gets dragged in whatever shit Narancia and the others are up to if he gets spotted. Mostly it's just for a movie night behind Bucciarati's back but Abbachio knows better and expects the unexpected when it comes to the gang.

► Knows what everyone does in late night if they're still up and has seen a lot of ungodly sights.

► Whether it be seeing a sleepy Mista and the pistols chanting a weird prayer to a bowl of cereals or Fugo being dragged out of his room by Narancia, Leone knows it.

Pannacotta Fugo

► Just like Bucciarati, Fugo rarely stays up late at night and if he does, it's usually just because he's busy.

► Fugo has hobbies like painting and reading, everyone in the gang knows that. It's just that he gets carried way too far sometimes and loses track of time.

► Who could blame him though when the book he's reading is just too interesting or the painting he's currently working on is almost done, right?

► On extremely rare occasions where something unpleasant enough to keep Fugo up at night happens, he'll bundle himself in his fluffy blanket like a butterfly in its cocoon.

► He always does this back when he's still living with his parents, it makes him feel safe from anything that's haunting him.

► And if it's neither his hobbies or problems that's keeping him up, he'll just hear Narancia whispering outside his door or Mista throwing pebbles at his window.

► For the first few times the duo did this, Fugo was still able to resist until he just can't anymore knowing that they wouldn't leave him alone all night.

► "Well, this isn't so bad. "

► He says as he enthusiastically tosses a popcorn into his mouth with his eyes glued all over the lit screen of the TV.

► Movie nights, along with sneaking out to go the nearest convenience store, became a common thing between the Torture Dance Trio™ ever since then.

Narancia Ghirga

► The type to wake up in the middle of the night and think "Hmm... Everyone's asleep, let's commit robbery tonight!"

► Fugo's sleep paralysis demon.

► Would literally not hesitate to steal chocolate bars with Mista and probably does 3AM challenges with him too.

► Never runs out of ideas to keep himself up at night and is the one who comes up with everything but what he does still depends on his mood.

► If Narancia's feeling a little too lazy then he'll just sleep and most of the time, with music keeping him accompany. But unlike Abbachio, he purposely doesn't wear headphones just to annoy Fugo whose room is right next to his.

► If he's feeling like it, he'll straight up just invite the others to watch a movie or play videogames even though Bruno has already made it clear not to use the TV after 11PM.

► But just as he likes staying up at night doing crazy things with the boys, he also uses his energy left and free time to self-study, as surprising that may sound.

► He may hate reading but he takes advantage of the fact that his brain is much active at night and he doesn't want to depend on Fugo too much. After all, he dreams on going back to school and he's more than willing to be capable enough to do so alone and pass without the other teen's help.

► Will cuddle anything that's near him while he studies but if you give him a plushie, it'll be instantly his favorite and he would definitely use it as a study buddy.

Guido Mista

► Alright, let's be honest here, this dude wouldn't even stay up if it weren't for his bros.

► 5 seconds lying on the bed and he's already knocked out for a good 10 hours if there's no work he has to do for the day. Make it 8 at weekdays thanks to his mafia-related responsibilities.

► He sleeps like a log so only a combination of shaking him up awake with Fugo and Narancia can make him rise from what seems like a two year coma but is really just a normal tuesday night.

► Will pretty much join Narancia at anything he does but since his last three brain cells are obviously still as half asleep as him, he won't be able to remember that much the next day.

► And once he's out of the room and is already sitting on the couch with the guys, Mista's the type to fall asleep halfway through the movie.

► You can't blame him though, it's 12AM and it seems that Fugo got to choose what movie they'll watch since Narancia already got to choose the other night.

► Unless they're playing videogames or are going out then he won't be acting like a slow ass PVZ zombie with a fried brain. Actually, he'll be hella active if that's the case.

► Active at grabbing every snack each second, that is.

► Actually, it's the pistols who does that but oh well, it's not like Mista's innocent too.

► "I swear it's not me who ate all of our groceries for this month! Right, guys?! It's the pistols! "

► And that, everyone, is how Guido blew their little rendezvous without even trying.

Giorno Giovanna

► There's not much to be said about this boy since just like Mista, Giorno goes to bed early as he makes sure he still gets the proper amount of sleep.

► He already has a lot of things to deal with at day so of course, by the end of it, he'll be exhausted.

► Nights before exams are excluded because although he may seem like he skips class sometimes, Giorno still knows his priorities.

► Only when he became the head of the mafia did he really started to lose sleep as great power comes with great responsibilities.

► It took a LONG time for Giorno to adjust to a lot of things cause come on, he maybe resilient but he's still a 15 year old teen.

► Not only does he have towers after towers of work but i like to imagine that he still continued his education and used some of the things he learns in class in the mafia, specifically in classes like history or geography class since as a boss, he has to know every nook and cranny of Italy.

► Not to mention that emergencies happen and he always has to be ready to give out orders, even if it means being woken up at 1AM.

► God, help this child because all the things mentioned above are just an understatement of what happens on the first few months of being in charge of Passione.

► "So this is why Diavolo looks like he's about to explode whenever something goes wrong huh. "

[lost-in-the-80s]

You Don’t Want My Love - Chapter 3

Pairing: Duff McKagan x reader

Words: 3,786k

Summary: Guns n Roses hires a new tour assistant, but nobody thought that Duff would fall for her.

In this chapter: Erin’s arrival on the tour turns the band upside down. Y/N hadn’t realized how much she needed a friend until she had her to talk to. Y/N and Slash go to an arcade.

A/N: 1- I was struggling with this chapter, so sorry if it’s shitty. 

       2- I was thinking about making a playlist inspired by this fic, do you guys want it? If so, let me know! 

       3- Also, reminding you that I’m posting a new chapter every Tuesday.  

Tag list: @roger-taylors-car @ladieswttda @teasid @metalheartofgold @slashscowboyboots​ @ginny-rose-sixx​ @rumoured-whispers​ @vinylvintage​ add yourself to my tag list :)

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After Tom’s departure Y/N couldn’t avoid feeling a little lost, she’d grown used to him instructing her and she missed his participation at the silent book club. It wasn’t a club though, just the two of them, sitting backstage reading without saying anything.  

The only good part about Tom leaving was that she finally got his bunk. It felt weird during the first night,  to sleep somewhere that wasn’t the couch, but as soon as she fell asleep her body got used to it. 

Duff was on the bunk on top of hers, as she was a light sleeper she would hear him mumbling some things while he was sleeping. He moved a lot also, which would usually wake her up, but she didn’t really mind.

It had been a week since Tom left and the things with the boys were starting to get back to normal. Duff helped her get more along with them, inviting her to play cards with the boys one night and asking about her opinion in random conversations, just so she could participate.

The two of them had grown quite close during this week, he was a nice guy, she could tell that. He always asked her to join them wherever they were going and even helped her with some of her duties when he had some free time.

And that was quite the problem. She liked his company, he was easy to talk to, and when there wasn’t a subject he would ask for her opinion on the books she was reading. He was a sweet boy. Too sweet to say the truth, and she was starting to want to be around him. But she shouldn’t.

Duff was from a completely different world, the two of them were complete opposites and the only reason why he was spending time with her was because he had no one else to. She knew that as soon as the tour ended she wouldn’t ever see him again, so she didn’t want to become too close to him.

She and Steven were back to normal, he never acted like that again and Izzy, well, Izzy was a hard person to read, he had never been rude to her, but they didn’t really talk. She didn’t take that personally though, he didn’t really talk to anyone.

Things with Axl remained the same, he hadn’t talked to her for eight days and counting, sometimes, she would laugh at one of Duff’s jokes and he would give her a death glare, but she tried to ignore.

Slash was another story. She talked to him, but just the necessary, she was still upset about what had happened during the party and expected him to apologize, but as the days passed, the less probable it got for him to do so. 

In that morning, she woke up before the boys, and after doing her routine and checking up her agenda she realized that they would reach the next city around ten in the morning. 

Talking to the bus driver, he informed her that they would stop for breakfast in thirty minutes, which allowed her to do her favorite part of the job.

Getting inside the bedroom area she turned on the lights while saying loud enough for all of them to hear. 

“Good morning, princesses! It’s 7 in the morning and we’ll make a stop for breakfast in thirty, so move your asses out of the bed and get ready!” 

Leaning against the wall opening, she saw Axl exiting his bunk, his hair was a mess as he slowly walked towards the bathroom while rubbing his eyes.

The second to wake up was Steven, just like her, he was a morning person. He got up quickly, putting a white tank top on before giving her a huge smile. “Good morning, Y/N!”

“Good morning, Steve!” She smiled back.

As soon as Axl left the bathroom and Steven got in, Izzy plopped on the ground beside her, he was dressed in just his underwear, which made her look in the opposite direction. However, she did notice the dark circles underneath his eyes and the remains of the hickeys Cheryl had left on his chest.

Cheryl had decided to accompany another band last Saturday, hugging Y/N tightly and telling her to call when she opened her boutique before leaving. 

As per usual, Slash and Duff didn’t get up. 

Getting close to Slash’s bunk she touched his shoulder slightly. “Slash! wake up!”

He mumbled in response and so she moved to Duff’s.

“Duff, time to get up!” Her head was at his bunk’s level. 

He moved slightly before opening his eyes, focusing directly on hers. A small smile appeared on his face. 

“Good morning, Y/N.” His voice was husky due to his sleepiness and for an odd reason, her heart started beating twice as fast.

“Good morning, Duff.” She smiled sweetly before walking out of the room.

Sitting on the couch, she grabbed a Vogue magazine and waited until the boys got ready. As the minutes passed by, all of them joined her in the living room, except for Axl, who was, as always, late. 

When the bus came to a stop and they got up to exit Axl finally showed up, she, Axl and Duff were the only remaining people on the bus and she stopped to let him go first, he was already hating her, she didn’t want to give him one more reason to.

“You can go first!” He gestured with his hand for her to pass. 

She looked at him waiting to see if he was being sarcastic, but the smile on his face told her that he was in a good mood. Strange, she thought while she exited the bus. 

The bright morning sun hit her skin and she stopped for a while, allowing the warm feeling to take a hold of her. Starting to feel as if someone was watching her, she turned around, finding Duff walking slowly towards the snack bar.

“He spends eight days without talking to me and then he suddenly decides he’s ok with my presence!” She scoffed while joining Duff.

“Erin is coming, so he’s in a good mood.” He looked down at her.

“Who’s Erin?”

“His girlfriend.” He opened the door for her to get in first.

“But he was hitting on me when I arrived.” She frowned.

“Oh, that! He was only joking that night.” Duff smiled at her, letting a small chuckle escape.

She and Duff sat beside Steven, in front of Axl and Izzy, Slash being to her right.

When the waitress arrived, she started making the orders, a month with them had been enough time for her to know that they had certain habits.

Izzy would always ask for a black coffee and a pack of cigarettes in the morning, while Steven would ask for pancakes. Slash and Axl liked scrambled eggs with coffee and Duff would usually eat pancakes with Steven.

After asking for the food, she took a pack of cigarettes out of her purse, giving it to Izzy. 

“Thank you!” He smiled at her. “You know, I didn’t expect much from you Y/N, but your efficiency is something to be recognized!” 

The compliment made her smile. “Thanks.”

As soon as the food arrived they started eating while making small talk.

“These scrambled eggs remind me of my grandma ones!” Sash smiled, “You guys wanna try it?” He extended the plate for the rest of them.

Steven got some for himself, while Izzy simply shook his head. 

“Want some, Y/N?”

“No, Thank you.” She replied while looking at her plate. 

She didn’t see Slash frowning when he looked at Izzy as if asking if he had done something wrong, to which he shrugged.

---

Back at the bus, she focused on her reading while Steven put some cartoons on the TV.

Sitting in front of her, Slash spoke up.

"Did I do something you didn't like, Y/N?"

She stared at him for a couple of seconds. How could he not remember? She thought.

Taking a deep breath, she closed the magazine. "Actually, you did."

He stopped for a second as if he was trying to remember. "What was it?"

"You seriously don't remember?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "...No?"

They all started to stare at the two of them. Even Axl, who was expecting to see a fight. He had seen what had happened that night, but he thought Slash remembered.

"You tried to kiss me that night at the party." 

"Wha-... Whe-... Oh shit, was that you?"

She nodded as a response.

Axl and Steven started laughing, Slash's face was full of confusion and embarrassment.

"Wait! She's the hot chick who you were complaining about?" Duff interjected, making fake quotation marks with his fingers.

Slash's face got hot and he thanked that his hair covered most of it.

The boys started laughing harder, even Izzy joined them.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry, Y/N! I swear I didn't recognize you, I wouldn't ever have done that to you!" He rubbed his forehead and his embarrassment was enough to make Y/N realize that he was telling the truth.

"I'm so so sorry!" 

"It's ok, just don't make it happen again!" She pointed a finger at him.

"Sure, sure! You have my word!" 

---

After two more hours on the bus, they finally arrived at the hotel. They were in New York, and their hotel was huge, the lobby itself making Y/N's last apartment look like a shoebox.

She walked towards the receptionist and stopped in her tracks when she heard a high pitched scream. Turning around she saw a girl with reddish-brown hair running towards Axl, who embraced her tightly.

She was wearing white denim pants and a black tank top and seemed to be taller than Y/N. Brushing it off she went back to work, making the boys’ check-in. But she couldn't deny that she found the scene cute.

When she was giving the boys their keys, Axl stopped her to make presentations.

"Erin, this is Y/N, our assistant. Y/N, this is my beautiful girlfriend Erin." He was smiling again.

She looked at the girl, finding her smiling while extending her hand towards Y/N, who shook it, smiling a little.

"Nice to meet you!"

"I'm glad I'll have some female company around here!" Erin said, smiling harder.

If she smiles more, her cheeks will start aching. Y/N thought to herself.

"What do we have for today, Y/N?" Axl asked.

"Soundcheck at 2, interview at the arena at 4:30 and the Gig at 7."

"Sorry, doll, I won't be able to go with you." He turned towards Erin.

"But you promised me we would go shopping in New York!" 

"I can't, babe, I’m sorry."

She looked around and a smile appeared on her lips.

"Can I take Y/N with me then?"

Y/N looked up from her agenda. "Me?" Her eyes slightly widened.

"What if we need her?" Axl said.

"Let the girl go, we can survive without her for a day!" Izzy said, patting Y/N's shoulder before heading to the elevator.

"Do you wanna go, Y/N?" Axl asked.

"I could use some shopping." She smiled.

Erin made a happy sound before hugging her. "We're gonna be best friends!!" 

The action made Y/N laugh while hugging her back.

She was going shopping? In New York? She couldn’t believe it!

Once in her room, she took her time making a quick happy dance before quickly changing her clothes for a pink dress and some white high-heels, finalizing her outfit with some sunglasses. 

Getting at the lobby, Erin intertwined her arm with hers and so the two of them got in a taxi and drove towards downtown. 

The girls entered a store, starting to try clothes.

“What do you think?” Y/N asked, showing Erin a short black skirt. 

“Wow! You look fierce!” 

Y/N smiled, turning around to look at herself in the mirror again.

“But it’s a little bit short on you, sweetie, if you want I can get you a bigger size.” The saleswoman said while looking Y/N up and down. 

Y/N checked the skirt in the mirror again, it was definitely short, but she liked it. 

“Who cares if it’s short?” She asked, shrugging.

“If I was into girls, I’d definitely bang you!” Erin said laughing.

The woman’s eyes widened while she turned around leaving the two alone. 

“I hate it when they keep giving opinions.” 

“Uhh, me too!” Erin rolled her eyes. “Are you hungry? ‘cause I feel like my stomach is going to eat me!”

Y/N laughed. “I am!”

“Let’s go eat something then! it’s already 4 pm.”

“Really? Wow, time flew!” 

Getting near the store cashier Y/N started to get worried, she had picked lots of clothes by impulse and now she was worried that she wouldn’t be able to pay for all of this.

“Should I charge everything together or separately?” The woman asked when they put the clothes on the counter.

“Se-” Before she could finish, Erin interrupted.

“All together!” She handed her the credit card.

Erin looked at Y/N and saw the confused expression on her face.

“Axl gave me the band’s card, he said I should pay for your clothes since you keep up with him every day.” She giggled slightly.

“So turns out he’s not that much of an asshole!” Y/N smirked.

Erin nudged her. “He’s not an asshole, he’s just…. just…”

“Temperamental?” Y/N laughed.

“Sensitive!” Erin replied, but laughed along.

After getting their bags, the girls walked side to side towards a beautiful café, where they ordered cake and tea, sitting at a table on the sidewalk.

“So, where are you from, Y/N?” Erin asked when they finished eating.

“North Dakota”

“Wow, and how did you end in LA?”

“I got a scholarship at UCLA.” 

“Really? That’s awesome! And what course did you take?”

“Fashion. I wanted to be a fashion designer.”

“Oh, that explains a lot.” She mumbled before taking a sip of her tea.

“What do you mean?” Y/N leaned against her chair.

“Nothing, it’s just that, the boys get the feeling that you don’t like working here.”

Y/N frowned, but Erin kept talking before she could say anything.

“It’s like, you’re efficient, and you do the job perfectly, but you don’t seem to be enjoying yourself, it’s almost as if it was an obligation for you.”

Y/N stopped to think. “It’s just that, I had so many dreams, and none of them happened, and I’m feeling frustrated you know? I wanted to accomplish many things, but life hit me with a bus.” She looked to her plate, sadness overtaking her.

“Hey, I get that! Sometimes things don’t go as planned.” Erin touched her hand, offering her a warm smile. “But try to see this by the bright side. Like, what are your biggest dreams?”

Taking a deep breath, she drank the remaining of her tea before answering. “I wanted to open my own boutique and I wanted to travel the world”

“Why are you saying I wanted? You can still do these things!” Getting closer to Y/N she moved the flowers in the center of the table away, trying to see her better. “You want a boutique right? If you use the money you get with the tour to invest, in three years you’ll have enough money to open it. My dad works with the stock exchange, I can ask him to give you some tips!”

“Really? Would you do that?”

“Sure!! And you said you wanted to travel the world, girl, what are you doing right now? Look around, you’re in New York, in a few months the boys will go to Europe, you are traveling the world.”

Wow. Y/N had never realized it. She was indeed living one of her dreams. 

“I know that this wasn’t your dream job and that it must be really annoying to deal with the boys and stay for so long in that bus, but at least you’re not dealing with paperwork behind a desk.”

A smile started to form on Y/N’s lips. Erin was right, this was way better than paperwork. She could go to parties, dress whatever she wanted, stay at the best hotels and to be honest, she kind of liked being around the boys.

“Yeah! You’re right, Erin! This is not so bad!” 

Erin nodded excitedly while drinking the rest of her tea. 

“I think we should go back.” Y/N informed while checking the time on her wristwatch.

“Really? Can’t we stay for more? I wanted to go to more stores.” She pouted.

“I’m afraid not. Your boyfriend will freak out if nobody gets him his damn towels.” Y/N rolled her eyes, but giggled a little. “Speaking of it. What does he do with so many?”

Erin raised her hands in defense. “I have no idea.” She whispered while shaking her head.

---

The rest of the day went on by fine, Y/N helped the boys before and after the gig and collapsed on her bed when they got back to the hotel. So many hours walking in heels granted her a long and deep night of sleep.

She couldn’t avoid letting a small satisfied moan to escape from her lips when she got comfortable in bed. It’s so good to lay in a bed that doesn’t shake with the road. She thought, before falling asleep.

The next morning, Y/N woke up with her bedroom’s phone ringing. 

“Yes?” Her voice was grog and she barely could open her eyes.

“Y/N, I want to ask for breakfast, but I don’t know how to use the hotel’s phone.” Steven’s voice filled her ears, he seemed to be hopeless.

She frowned while rubbing her eyes. “But, how did you call me then?”

He paused for a minute. “With the… phone…”

She laughed. “Hang the phone and then press 0, the receptionist will answer you.”

“Oh, ok. Thanks, Y/N!” 

“It’s no problem, Steve.” She hanged the phone, laughing again.

Stretching up she saw it was 11 in the morning already. “Looks like I’ll have brunch!” She smiled, she loved brunch. 

After taking a shower and putting on a pair of jeans with a red blouse, she left her room, asking for the receptionist where she could find a good restaurant nearby. 

---

It was 6 o’clock now. She was in her room reading, her legs rested on the bed’s headboard while she laid upside down. A knock on her door took her away from the romance she was currently addicted to. 

Opening the door she found Slash leaning against her door frame. 

“What are you up to?” He asked casually.

“Just reading.” She pointed towards the book with her thumb.

“Put a jacket, let’s go out!” 

“What? To where?” 

“There’s an arcade nearby.” He put his hands in his pant’s front pockets. 

“Hmm, I don’t know…”

“Come on, everybody is out for dinner, we’re the only ones who stayed.”

Her lips turned into a thin line as she tried to think. 

“Come on, it’s gonna be fun! You can read some other time!”

“Fine! Give me 5 minutes!” She closed the door on his face, before rushing to find her new denim jacket she had bought the day before.

Applying some mascara and a nude lipstick she got her purse and exited the room.

When they got on the street, Slash spoke up.

“Once again, I’m sorry about the party! It won’t happen again!”

“It’s ok!” She assured him with a small smile.

Entering the arcade a red light covered their skins, Tears for Fears played in the background and she smiled, she loved them. 

“What do you wanna do first?” Slash asked after they got the tickets.

She shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s my first time!”

“Oh, so you’re having your first time with me?” He tried to smirk, but ended laughing.

She playfully slapped his arm while laughing. “Idiot!”

“Ok, pinball it is!” He yelled.

Slash taught her how to play and started complaining when her punctuation became bigger than his. “This is not possible! You’ve played it before!”

“I haven't, I swear!” She put her hand at her heart. 

They went on with the night, playing many different games. When they passed by Dance Dance Revolution she stopped in her tracks.

“Oh my gosh! Let’s do this one! Please!”

“What? No way!” He started walking towards another game.

“Come on, you’re owing me after the party!” 

“I’m disappointed you’re this type of person, Y/N.” He touched his chest, pretending that she had hurt him.

“Please!” She laughed at his drama.

“Ok, but I’m just watching, no way I’ll play this.”

She shrugged. “As long as you hold my purse!”

Choosing Walking On Sunshine by Katrina & The Waves she started dancing, stepping on the lights with mastery.

Her heart filled with happiness, she loved to dance, and she missed doing it more often.

“Wow! Great score!” Slash congratulated her when stepped out of the game.

“Thanks.”

He was leaning against another game table, looking into her purse, her small mirror was in one of his hands. “How do you manage to put so many things here?”

She got the mirror from his hand along with her purse, while shaking her head at him.

“You lied.”

“Me!?” She scoffed.

“You said you had never been to an arcade, but you destroyed that game!”

“It’s the truth. I had never played that.” They started walking towards the exit.

“How did you do so good then?”

“I was a cheerleader, I know how to dance.” They stopped, getting their jackets.

“A cheerleader huh?” They entered the empty streets and Slash lit up a cigarette.

She shrugged while making a bun with her hair.

They entered the hotel and got in the elevator.

“You know, for someone who listens to ABBA, you’re nice.” He teased her while smiling.

She rolled her eyes. “For someone who wears a shirt saying ‘I’m a slut’, you’re nice.” 

They laughed. The doors opened and they started walking through the corridors.

“This is my room.” She pointed stopping.

“Yeah, I know. It was nice hanging out with you!” He stopped on the other side of the corridor, in front of his door.

She nodded. “I can say the same.”

“Good night, cheerleader!” He said smiling, before entering his room and closing his door.

She rolled her eyes and entered her room. Something inside her head told her that they’d be good friends.

[silentmajesticfox]

Falling In Love With Chrollo Lucilfer

(Rose is someone from Chrollo's past, specifically Meteor City. In this story, Rose and Chrollo, along with the troupe, rekindle their relationship. Well, try to. Rose is in an arranged marriage to protect and support her little sister. This story is set a little bit before the York New Ark, and during the beginning of it. and will go throughout the ark as well.

the picture on here I found is from PINTEREST AND IS NOT MINE. whoever drew it is spectacular and amazing. I'm obsessed..

**TW !**(Trigger Warning!) please do not read if you do not agree or are triggered by - domestic abuse (this will be from the arranged marriage) - depression/suicidal thoughts -substance abuse. Now I will not go into full detail especially for the domestic abuse, it's just to go into the story for beginning chapters. possibly flashbacks . So please, again, don't read if this will trigger you. Also, this will probably be pretty violent through some chapters. thank you for reading and your time.)

Moral Of The Story

Rose never thought she'd be in this situation, unhappy and rather disappointed with her life decisions. She was sure at first, that she had calculated this and this plan was fool proof, however, she was very wrong. She might have been in love, or what she thought was love - however it had escalated to a burning hatred and a bitter after taste. A blind love turned cold due to her own inability to see this would be the result.

Sitting there applying too much make-up to cover up her black eye and a few other bruises, she would not let her get that down. She had to stay strong for her sister, Daisy. Daisy is the reason Rose is still thriving and okay through all of this. Everything she does is for her little sister. She would die for her. Literally and emotionally/mentally. She finished applying the foundation, to move on and do her eyeshadow, eyeliner, and a very thick coat of mascara, her eyes shining a ice blue.  She was wearing a simple, tight fit dress, in the color of burgundy. Her long, curly, dark burgundy hair matched the attire. With black heels. Looking at all of the jewelry her 'husband' had gotten her, maybe to buy her love back or his way of saying "sorry, not sorry." Rose huffed staring at them, not wanting this anymore, on the verge of a mental breakdown, memories for each gift being a constant reminder of why it was gifted.

Daisy soon walked in, her blonde hair and matching blue eyes light up, running to Rose, hugging her tightly from behind. Rose being able to handle pain well, just smiled and whipped her head around.

"You look beautiful Daisy." She stated, lookking at her little sisters beautiful pink ball gown dress. Only at the age of 13, it is an intense nostalgic reminder for Rose to see how big her baby sister was getting, saying she was the one whole raised her.

"Thank you!! You look beautiful too, sissy!" Daisy said, she was always so happy, and maybe some of that happiness is what Rose needed in the moment. "Are you ready to go to the ball, tomorrow's your birthday you know!"

"Yes, and let's head down there now. Only you and me will celebrate." Rose said, getting up from her vanity. "I will meet you downstairs, okay?"

"Okay, you better not take forever or I'll be mad at you." Her sister said, glaring at her sister, a laugh fallowing after before running out like a full speed train. Rose wished she could be young, hoping her sister would forget her birthday, yet she felt her mood lighten up knowing someone remembered.

Rose opened her drawer, opening a certain empty face powder jar. Grabbing The hidden key, she opened her one drawer with her bourbon. She had a bad habit formed, to think- or to forget all the bad things. She pulled out the bottle, opening it, and drinking it as if it were water. After a few more chugs, she put away and always made sure to lock it and hide her key. Walking out of the room, and closing the door. She then went downstairs into the lobby, then outside to a cold York New night.

Walking up to the limousine- she opened the door to sit by her sister, her husband sitting across from them.

"Why aren't you dressed up more? And no Jewelry?" Fred asked. (Guessing a name) Rose looked up at him, trying to think of a nice way to keep conversation. It was always those type of questions or degrading comments, not a compliment or 'how was your day?'.

"Mm... Not really feeling like wearing jewelry.. and as a matter of fact I can wear what I want." She stated back seriously. If there was a way to press his buttons, this was one of them. However, as she stared coldly back at his glare, she wasn't scared. She already knew whatever she said would bite her back in the ass.

It was late last night, Daisy had went to sleep and Rose was putting on her blue night gown. Fred walked in, boozed up and he had a violent glint in his eyes. One that unsettles her the second he walked in the room. "Rose, why wouldn't you spend any time with me and my friends tonight?.." he asked. She might have been a little drunk herself, but she knew she would have to stand her ground. Rose snorted almost, shaking her head before replying. "Because I have no need to hang out with people like you, I already told you I was done with everything that has to do with you, when your friends try so hard to be my friends.. I know they are fraud of their true intentions.." she started, so calmly that it got under Fred's skin. He walked up to her, grabbing her wrist and trying to pull her closer to him.  "No that's not it, Tell me the truth." Fred said raising his voice. She could smell the alcohol coming from his break. She wouldn't flinch, but retaliate by attempting to shove him. "This.. This right here is why! Fred! I told you I was done, give me back my Nen! I don't love you anymore, why don't you ask yourself and the other girls you were hooking up with nights before! That's why I hat-" and before she could exclaim her feelings, she got struck in the face. An echo through the halls, and it to be honest it had gone from slaps to a full fisted punch. "Maybe it's because you're terrible, you only want me for my money, and those women are more than you'll ever be, Rose! Beautiful, unlike you." He screamed, at this point she was trying to hit him back as he was man handling her. This continued for about 30 minutes, and in the end, he had won. She was exhausted and bruised, he soon left the room, to do whatever. Rose knew he had other women, but being told by someone who once loved her and she loved a great deal, she started to fall down the wall, sobbing and releasing all of the pent up pain and feelings from the past months. Hoping one day, she would retrieve her Nen from him.. in the morning he had came to apologise and give her a diamond necklace.

Rose was spacing off, thinking of what had occurred. He can't say she didn't try, and her feelings and anger was running wild. If she had her Nen, this would be a different story. However, when they got married, she let him take her crystal ball. In which all her Nen was in. It was placed in a vault in his penthouse suite. She had tried many times to retrieve it, but only would get knocked out and brought to her room. One of the reasons she sleeps in her sisters room now. Daisy tugged on Roses dress, to bring her out of her thought. She looked over at her sister, a fake smile creeping on her lips and she hugged her. Fred had also been in thought, but let the conversation drop. He had plans for her later, however.

When they arrived, it was a big, fancy building. Alike many others in York New. Daisy was the first to get out, grabbing Roses hand and almost running to the doors, leaving Fred in the dust. "Slow down, Daisy, I can't run ask fast as you." Rose told her sister, however it was a lie. She could run faster. But with her bruises and aching body, Daisy has the advantage. Rose had always hidden these things from her. However, Daisy was smarter than what she led on at times. Almost witty enough to match her big sister sometimes. She already knew what had been happening. She slowed down for a sister, before giving her and her big sisters ticket to the security man at the front door.

"Okay your clear, come in." He stated in monotone before Fred had walked up behind them to do the same. Also being granted entry, all three of them walked in. It was quite a sight, beautiful one would say. Even though her sister was dragging her to the dance floor, Rose again had thought about what Fred said. "Beautiful, unlike you." Rang in her mind. Clouding it. Seems like she did not drink enough. By the time she returned to present time, she started dancing with her sister, in which laughs and giggles were heard from them. Fred walked up to his friends and the girls in which he had replaced Rose for. She looked over a little bit, quickly looking away as he had kissed them.

"Daisy, I'm going to get a drink, would you like to keep dancing, or come with me?" Rose asked. Daisy shook her head no and flowed away twirling. Rose smiled, at how pure and genuine her little sister can be at times, even when things were rough in Meteor City. A thought that hadn't crossed her mind in a long time. Meteor City. She missed it at times, however, there were people she missed more, wondering how they were doing..

Rose walked up to the bar, sat down, and waiting for the bartender to get done talking to a man and giving him a glass of red wine. She looked over, a realization hit when she looked at the man sitting over a few stools from her. He looked all to familiar, his black hair had grown since she last saw him, a nicely fitted tuxedo and a bandage around his forehead. Those green earrings matched his demeanor. He felt someone staring at him, he looked over to stare at her. She was sure, now, with those beautiful grey eyes starting into her soul.

"Chrollo, it's been quite a while, you aged well.." She said, getting up and sitting next to him. Chrollo was observing her for a minute before saying anything, taking in her image, also being able to see through the make up. He took a sip of his wine, and shifted over giving her a smile.

"Ah, Rose. Time has been very kind to you as well." Chrollo said in a low yet polite voice, she felt chills go up and down her spine. The bartender looked at her waiting for her to say what she wanted.

"I'll take a bourbon, please." Rose slightly acknowledged the bartender as he shook his head and went to get her drink.

Chrollo was thinking to himself, how beautiful she already was when he last saw her, but now she was even more, a treasure. "So, you're a bourbon girl now?" He asked, eyeing her, taking another sip. Chrollo had already assumed what she was going through, remembering how she use to cope with things in Meteor City. He glanced at her hand seeing a wedding ring on her ring finger. He glanced back up to her face, those ocean eyes he remembered so well.

"Oh... Uh.. yeah I suppose I am. So how long has it been, a whole eight years? What have you been up to since the last time we spoke." Rose replied, giving him a smile before drinking all of her drink in one go, pushing it at the bartender nodding her head to signal she wanted more. "Sir, could you please give me the bottle, I'll pay in full, you know who's tab to put it on." She told him, as she was a regular here. She glanced over at Fred, her heart shattering a little bit more, as he danced with the one women of his she disliked the most in the most provocative way, as though there was really nothing left to shatter in her heart. Returning her look at Chrollo, his eyes were fixated on Fred now, and she saw the eyes in which she loved, truly turn dark and mischievous. As if Fred could feel the darkness staring at him, his eyes went to Chrollo's, then his wife. A rise of jealousy and anger rose, but he looked away and would address this later on, also since he was entertained very much so with the woman before him.

"So... I'm guessing that's your husband, Rose?" Chrollo asked, looking back at her. "He's a fool." Chrollo stated right after, almost done with his wine and the bartender pouring more. Rose looked at Chrollo, knowing he is one of the smartest people on earth In her eyes, realizing he had everything figured out within a few minutes. She never knew why, but she was always rather emotional when it came to talking about problems with Chrollo. Maybe it was a deep connection, or just the way he made her feel. A tear rolled down as she looked away for a moment, wiping it away. Checking in on her sister when she did so, she was having a blast dancing with a boy her age.

"Yeah, uh... I guess you could say things weren't supposed to end like this... Enough about me. I've missed you, you know I did ask you a question Chrollo." Rose replied, her voice quivering a bit but was worse as she tried to cover it up. But Chrollo was just watching her, he could tell she was quite nervous and broken, drinking her third heavily filled cup. He hadn't seen her quite like this. If Chrollo could feel anything close to caring, it would be for her. And of course his troupe. And to him, it only felt like maybe a year or two since he saw her. So much had happened since then.

"Mm... You are changing the subject. However, I won't mind answering if you tell me the answers to my questions." Chrollo slithering his words, just staring at her. She knew that was his thing. She simply nodded staring back at him, before downing another drink. "Perfect. Well, I've been with you know who, we've been quite busy. And as for the time apart, I never actually realized it had been that long.." he stated truthfully. But soon stated something that would shock her. "I do, however, know your birthday is tomorrow, isn't it? Did you ever get the letters I sent you?" Maybe this is why Chrollo always had a place in her heart. She did receive them all, but was only ever able to send him one for his birthday. Except, she was unable to this year due to her and Fred's issues, she couldn't leave the mansion for a week almost, she was beaten every time, however Fred caught notice of her and Chrollo's letters, becoming more and more furious each year. She cried for quite a while that she could not write her friend a happy birthday letter.

"You are correct, as always. I'm surprised you remember. You always did have a sharp mind." Rose said in a tipsy voice, a smile tugging on her plump lips. "Don't think I've forgotten yours either.. I'm sorry I couldn't write back a couple weeks ago, but.. happy belated birthday Chrollo." She said, opening up the slightest, giving him a hug with one arm and setting down her dead on his shoulder. Chrollo knew he could get information he didn't need, but wanted to know... And as for Rose, tipsy and all, usually she knew Chrollo came with a motive, and If he didn't, he would soon find one. She could tell something peaked his interest. But was unclear on what.

"Well, I'm assuming he wouldn't let you write me back, it's not your fault. I knew you would have, you do every year.. thank you." Chrollo smiled, as she recoiled back to her original position In her seat. "So, Rose, be a dear, and please tell me what's been going on?.."

--

A/N thank you so much for reading. Hopefully it's not to terrible, but I am going to keep writing since Chrollo is daddy and I love him. Lol. Hope you liked it and like I said in the description, please be advised there is substance abuse and domestic abuse. Don't worry, I have something planned and Fred will get was he deserves. Thank you so much for reading! Also I took this from my wattpad, so honestly the typos will be fixed. Eventually!

[prettymuchdolansbitch]

Love to Lie (Nick Mara)

A/N: So this is my first PRETTYMUCH / Nick Mara imagine &&& I'm worried 🥶 hopefully you guys like it ! Thank you for reading💖

Being the girlfriend of a famous popstar who was in a boyband was tough. You knew it and so did Nick, but you fought through it. His late night practices and tours were always getting in the way of you being together. To add on, college didn't help on your end. You always debated on seeing Nick or going to class.

You never minded though. You would do anything for the boy. He had you wrapped around his finger. When they announced that they were going on their own tour, you were ecstatic. Except for the fact that the semester just started and you barely had time to go to any of the shows.

Luckily, some time cleared up so that you can see the Anaheim show. After that you weren't going to know the next time you would see your boyfriend. His family hit you up mid-October to see if you were able to fly out and surprise Nick along with the rest of his family.

This made you the happiest girl alive. You've only met his family twice and they wanted to see more of you. You agreed and flew out to NY for their show. The family got to see soundcheck and spend a little time with Nick before he had to perform. That's when you came in, he was happy but you knew something was bothering him deep down. To be honest, you probably knew him more than he knew himself.

The surprise was a success and you got to see your boyfriend again. Going back to school was a struggle because all you wanted was to be in bed with Nick talking about anything. While studying, you simply played with your 6-month anniversary necklace that he got you. It was a simple gold chain with the letter "N" hanging from it.

Skip a few weeks to the weekend before Thanksgiving. You and Nick were still going strong, but he was being more dry than usual. You thought it was you overreacting, but you couldn't be more wrong.

You've been asking Nick for the past week if you should come out to see their last show. You dropped hints waiting for him to say something along the lines of "Can you come to our last show?" but you never got it. You eventually just asked him if you could go. He flat out rejected you.

"Baby as much as I would love for you to come to the last show, it's just going to be so hectic and crazy. I don't want you to get hurt. I have to go, were rehearsing. Love you" That was pretty much how the conversation went. You were devastated, but you accepted. He was only looking out for you.

It's now November 18th and Nick hasn't called or texted all day. It's the last show day and you knew they've been in Boston for the past 2 days. Nick was being choppy on FaceTime last night and you were actually starting to worry.

You and your roommates decide to have a little Friendsgiving before you all were going to head home for break. While you were playing Just Dance with your roomies, you decide to go live and share the experience of having funny ass roommates.

You were reading comments and it was the usual. Until questions came up about Nick.

"Why aren't you at the last show?"

- "Nick thought it would be too hectic for me to be there and that he probably won't even see me."

"PLS FOLLOW ME I LOVE UUUU"

"NOTICE MEEEEEEE💙💙💙💙💙💙💕💕💕💕💕"

- "Love you (random user)"

"How's Nick?"

- "Doing good"

"u single?"

"Did you know alexys is there?"

"teaaaaa"

"alexys is in Boston to 👀🤭"

"I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU"

You felt your heart breaking at each comment about Alexys being in Boston. You end the live and look for any proof before you go ballistic. Going on your explore page, you see her selfie that was obviously taken on snap.

"5:45 Boston" The filter said. Jasmine was your best friend in the house. She knew something was up. She saw what you were looking at and she saw what you saw on the live. You kept scrolling to see if there was anything else. A fan posted a video of Alexys talking to people on a balcony. The balcony in the venue the boys were at.

Jas saw you shook up. "Hey, do you wanna go to the bar? Maybe take your mind off things?" You nod and plug your phone in the charger. You got ready and took off for the night.

~

After recovering from a hangover, you packed everything you thought you would need for the next week. You decided you were going home earlier than everyone. You didn't want to be anywhere near Nick's house when they got home. Your apartment/school was 20 minutes from the PRETTYMUCH house.

You have yet to talk to Nick. You assumed he was busy because of flights and stuff. But you also assumed the worst. After saying goodbye to your roomies for the week, you packed up your car and drove off.

Nick

He was definitely nervous to see you. He was scared to see your reaction and tell you that he loves you. The boys landed the morning after their last show. They all went home and decided to rest for the day. Nick on the other hand was already out the door to see you.

He got to your apartment and didn't see your car. He wasn't too suspicious, he just assumed you didn't park where you normally did. As he's walking up the driveway, the door opens. Nick kind of freezes and waits to see if it's you. Turns out it was only Jas.

Jas lays her eyes on the one and only Nick Mara. "Hey Jas, is -" She already knew what he was there for. "She's not here. Even if she was, wouldn't let you in anyways." Jas throws her bags into the trunk of her car.

"I just have to -" He got interrupted by Jas slamming her trunk. "Listen here, you have some nerve showing up here with the stunt you pulled last night. She was upset over a douche like you. But like I said, she's not here. She went home." Jas opened her car door.

"I thought she doesn't go home until Wednesday?" He said looking at the window that led to your room. "Plans change don't they." Jas was in her car and she zoomed off.

Nick hopped into his car and drove the two hours to your hometown. When he got there, he was even more nervous. He saw your brother was home too. Nick finally made it to the door and knocked slowly.

He heard the locks turning and his stomach fluttered, excited to see your beautiful face. Instead he was met with your older brother, Kai.

"Hey man. Is -" "I should really deck you right now, but I won't." Nick nodded and looked at his feet. "Who are you being a dick to this early -" You push the door wider and you see the face you were dreading to see all day. "Hm. Nevermind."

"You got this?" Kai said to you. "I'll be fine." you stepped out and sat on one of the chairs that were on the porch. Nick followed suit and sat in the chair next to you. You stay staring out at the neighborhood in front of you, waiting for Nick to say something.

"How was the last show?" You ask starting the conversation. "It was good, crazy like I said it would be." Nick was rubbing his hands together because of how clammy they were.

"Listen, I am so sorry that -" "Nick we're done." You blurted it out before you could even think. He was in shock. Nick never thought he would hear those words come from your mouth.

"What? Why?" He said leaning foward. "Did you seriously just ask me why we're done Nick? You lied to me, your own girlfriend. Also I looked like an idiot because I didn't even know your ex was going to be there. Not like she had a right to be there, but whatever." You scoffed at him.

"I know it looks bad, but I can explain." "Looks bad? Really? I don't need an explanation. Like I said we are done." You got up this time to go back inside the house and never see this kid again. "But I love you"

You felt the cold metal on your neck and realized you almost forgot. You unclasped the necklace and held it in your hand. "Nick, if you really loved me, there wouldn't have been an option for you to choose. We've been dating for months, and you still had the thought of choosing between me and your ex? Thought you were over that when you asked me to be your girlfriend. You obviously don't love me, at least not like I loved you. It shouldn't take you seeing your ex to make you realize that you love me. " You turned and put the necklace in his hands.

"I'll always support you and the boys, but as of right now, I want nothing to do with you. Goodbye Nick." you actually left him this time. You shut the door and slid down the door, crying for real this time.

[unsettledink]

From the Ask Game Post celebrating finishing Act 1 of Gotcha:

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

So I'm just going to drop this here:

Ha ha but in seriousness... (But hey if you want to talk about any of those feel free)

I'll try for five, that's a nice number! Ones that have been the most on my mind or are closest to done, that could become a reality?? I'm not going to include continuations of series or fics I've already written.

I'll list them in short form here and then go into details below the cut in case you don't want any sort of spoilers about what might be coming.

Cuffing – Tony/Quentin ABO (alpha!Tony and omega!Quentin), casual fun sex, probably in the 50k range?

Hate Sex – Tony/Quentin, what it says on the tin :D 10kish range? If I do a sequel who knows.

Humiliation – Peter/Quentin, actual halfway healthy affectionate relationship with heavy humiliation kink and a side of emetophilia yeah IDEK either. 5-7kish?

Omega Hooker AU – Peter/Quentin ABO (omega!Peter and alpha!Quentin, past Peter/Alpha!Tony), post Infinity War with Peter hooking and Quentin having weird embarrassing kinks, slow burn to ...love? And yes, EDITH is still a plot point uh-oh. So long, Gotcha length long???? Shoot me now.

AI Peter – Tony/AI Peter, eventual end goal Tony/Peter/AI Peter, post Infinity War, so much angst and Tony being pretty awful for a while. 50-100k?

Cuffing –

ABO universe with some intricate courting customs, where heats are less of a monthly period type thing and more of a seasonal range. Omegas tend to stick with an Alpha for the three/four month length of a season, generally getting a little spoiled while their heats are taken care of.

Younger omega!Quentin makes a pass at alpha!Tony, and Tony's like you know what, why not. They have a very nice season together, with some assorted mild ABO kink stuff thrown in – basically just a light, sexy fic where everyone has fun, no angst. (Until the sequel ahahahaha)

Hate Sex –

This is literally half written, I just need to finish fleshing out the second half! Egged on by @the-me09, right after the presentation Quentin has a screaming throw down fight with Tony that ends in them fucking, angry no holds barred hate sex without any softness. Tony still fires Quentin; Quentin doesn't believe it and throws a FIT in the lobby, forcing Tony to come down and have some more furious hate sex lol before Quentin is forced to acknowledge he can't win and leaves.

(Not including the intentional sequel where livid Quentin decides, you know what? He's got all this 'proof' on him and in him, so what if he just went to the hospital and reported a rape? WHAT IF. Yes, Quentin is fucking awful.)

Humiliation –

this is like, written out in keysmash rambling? It probably wouldn't take much to turn it into a real fic, but it's pretty fucking dark. Just a short Peter/Quentin piece of extreme humiliation with bonus vomit kink???? (Is that actually a bonus I mean...)

Quentin takes Peter to a glory hole, has him suck a lot of dick and swallow, then takes him back home and fucks him/his face until Peter throws up, they are both shockingly turned on, and Quentin uses that to make things a lot darker and grosser.

Followed by some genuine affection after and cuddling while Quentin tells Peter that yes, that's all pretty fucked up and gross, but Peter's his little gross fucked up toy, so it's okay, and Peter is actually pretty happy about it. Weirdly healthy relationship for what it is? I don't know man, it downloaded itself into my brain in one big chunk and has been sitting there ever since.

Omega Hooker –

this is also Peter/Quentin and... likely to be close to Gotcha length, RIP me. For very plotty reasons I'm not looking forward to, post snap omega!Peter with a broken bond - since Tony's dead - is selling himself, and getting the worst possible clients due to his abilities and ugly societal structures about omegas.

Quentin's going to be one of those awful clients, right? Wrong! Quentin can't have a real omega for Reasons, and has some weird, in universe embarrassing kinks that Peter actually doesn't mind catering to (they're pretty tame outside of that AU).

Quentin slowly coaxes Peter into nicer and nicer things – let me tip you ridiculous amounts, let me pay for you to just come over and cuddle, let me buy all your heats and treat you well instead, let me set you up as a sugar baby, etc etc. Lots of Peter going through some really, really awful sex with horrible clients and lots of nice, emotionally conflicting sex with Quentin, and the world in general being an awful place for omegas like Peter.

Oh, and yeah, Quentin is still after EDITH, and it's a very ugly shock to everyone when he finds out it's HIS Peter that has them. Cue lots of messy emotions and plot and stuff that eventually resolves well.

AI Peter –

sad sad sad, post snap, heartbroken Tony builds himself an AI Peter... but it's just not real enough, not close enough, and he's nice very nice to AI Peter about it. But Peter's just close enough to really want to do better and make Tony happy, and everything points to sex being something that would work.

It... is/isn't, because while Tony does want that, he's also super guilty and keeps telling AI Peter that real Peter would never do this. Tony in general being an asshole, though slightly understandably, until the end of the snap, which Tony survives. He doesn't want real Peter to find out about this, so he shelves AI Peter, and who cares what AI Peter feels about that? (Sad, he's so, so sad and hurt and Tony wouldn't even say goodbye.)

And then Peter, carefully nudged along by Friday, finds him. Wakes him up, and they have a long, long talk about what was going on. Peter is furious at Tony, while still wanting a relationship with Tony and being oddly attracted to... himself???

So the best way to get that all across to Tony would be to let him discover both Peters together in his bed, not that Tony is allowed to do anything about it but watch, right? Sure, Peter. Probably a happy ending after a lot of yelling lol.

LIES HAVE SOME SERIES I WANT TO FOCUS ON FIRST TOO

Happenstance –

I actually know exactly what happens in this universe??? and think I can wrap it up satisfactorily? I want to write the 'how the hell did Peter and Quentin end up bonded?' and the first shared heat, and then the combination of disastrous heats and interactions and Quentin getting fucked over by biology in a not so great ABO universe, and how it all gets so, so much worse before it gets all better. :)

But even though each 'scene' is going to be it's own relatively contained fic rather than a chaptered thing, it's still going to get long.

Sustain –

I'd love love love to continue this, explore how IM2 and Avengers go slight differently when Tony has someone actually in his corner, much less someone as competent and stubborn as Coulson.

Coulson will absolutely not die, and I'm about 95% sure that while Tony and Coulson will continue the D/s, it's completely non sexual, with Tony/Pepper still a thing. It's a bonus that Pepper and Coulson get along so well, and start to coordinate with each other once it's out in the open.

Above and Beyond –

Ahaha, this is also like 90% keysmash written down and 1000% pure filthy smut (that I'm pretty sure almost no one else wants lol). Bio father/son, trans!Peter and Tony keep up the whole 'show me new things please' arrangement, only they get... careless.

Careless enough that when Quentin storms up to yell about Tony's plans for this presentation, he comes across the two of them in an incredibly compromising position, Peter literally seconds away from coming. But hey, that's okay, Quentin's perfectly happy to keep their dirty little secret if he gets a turn too, with both of them.

Cue a lot more oral and mess and DP and Quentin being an incredible slut and actually nice to Peter while still being kind of an asshole, Tony really enjoying his part the show until it's his turn. The biggest struggle is who's POV to do it in, arg. I'm super tempted to do like Above and Beyond, with a section in each character's POV.

Deep End –

I just love this universe. Poor baby Quentin not understanding what he's getting into with Tony, and Tony being an ass and not explicit about this being kink play. I want to write the continuation of things spiraling further and further out of control as Quentin realizes he has zero control and maybe doesn't want to do this anymore and maybe doesn't know if he'll be able to keep his job if he says no.

Then there's the bit where Tony plays softer with him in more of a d/s way than a fear play way, and Quentin is very confused because he likes it. I want to write the scene where Tony finally realizes they are NOT on the same page and is a little horrified, and how that ends up working out. And then I really want to write the part where Quentin comes back after all that and is like, okay, lets do this for real.

(And then maybe some day, the part where it goes through how the BARF debacle affects them and Endgame and of course Tony's not really dead this universe is completely out of control send help.)

P/MJ/Q –

@the-me09 dragged me into this universe and threw ideas at me until one stuck and I'm not as mad about it as I should be lol. This would be a 'path not taken', further along once Quentin has caught an icky feeling. MJ's getting her freak on and suggests they try a little more controlled experimenting with that sex gas of Quentin's, preferably on her, and while neither Quentin or Peter are quite happy about it, she gets her way.

Only that was designed for Peter, and while Quentin was able to handle it, he's also got about 100 lbs on MJ. Surprise surprise, she quickly gets completely overstimulated and Quentin ends up having to take care of both sex crazed MJ and freaked out Peter, and is a little upset about how Peter treats him during it all. Not fun sex times.

[blorbosexterminator]

Its the ep before the grand finale and well... I AM STILL BACK

So, ep 29, lets do this :

He was even too weak to resist Martín, still Martín avoided meeting his eyes. He wasn’t too excited to find what they held for him now.

Well, what do you think was gonna happen Martin? What? You think He'll be like "oh, no no no its all cool"

No, you moron he'll be pissed and he has a right to do so

“What will you do, huh?” she grinned, “wait, let me guess, you’ll kill me! Such a brillant, novice idea Martin,” she mock-clapped

“Ah, Sergio, you’ve grown into a charming man, but don’t worry about it, I’m already getting what I want. This” she gestured at Andrés and Martín, “is what I want. And you’ve killed my right-hand man too, this is obviously unforgivable. Go on Martín, play the little doctor you are and treat him,” she grinned at him. “You know, I’ve always known you were jealous of me, always wanted what I had, so I’m not surprised you attached yourself to him like this. I’ve watched you the past years, watched how happy you were, not a single moment of remorse for what you’ve done.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Tatiana monolouging like a villain 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

As this point, I'm taking back my words from ep7 (or 8 idk)

YOU CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF WHORE 😡😡😡 TAKE YOUR MONOLOUGE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. NO ONE CARES

I am willing to bet you screwed Federico while being married to Andres 😡😡😡 You cheating, lying fucking bitch.

Even Silene is more tolerable than you. And everyone knows how much I adore Silene

(Although, Silene is 65% redeemed after the last chapter. And I still want Raquel to at the very least slap her and Martin & Paula high-fiving in the background)

Martín noticed the door in the back get slowly pushed, but Tatiana amidst her speech and her back to it didn’t seem to notice, Martín decided to go along with it.

“I wouldn’t have had to do anything had you had a little more common sense, I tried to explain to you that there was nothing there, I told you to leave him be. Everyone understood, but you just imagined yourself smarter than the rest—”

“Not you? What the fuck would you have done? Even if you remarried him, you couldn’t just live with him with Bogota’s son forever—”

Door : *slowly opens*

Martin : Its time to use my most treasured weapon :

PETTINESS

Also, I love the fact Martin helped take out a villain just by his pettiness 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Duck!” Martín screamed at Julia, who managed to sneak so far behind Tatiana, but had Tatiana turn with her gun raised at the last moment. She moved but not enough, she still got a bullet in her arm. But before Tatiana got to shoot another, the old man with Julia threw a rope around Tatiana’s neck and pulled from the back. 

SENOR RAMOS!!! THE HERO OF THE TELENOVA!!!!

Okay, okay the convo between Sergio and Martin made me go :

(Thats my dog comforting me)

🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧 Okay, moving on :

Sergio and Martin went from : Ima destroy the other for Andres. To : I was ready to kill my own brother/friend to save Andres and that is so beautiful 😍

Also, Martin did everything to save Andres, even tho he couldve followed along Tatiana? Excluding everyone but Sergio from the will & willing to pay from his own pocket to save him...... I.....

My dog : Oh God no 😨

Me : *bursts into tears again*

🤧🤧🤧

MARTIN, BABE, COME HERE YOU DESERVE A HUG. EVEN THO I WANNA WHOOP YO ASS, I'LL HUG YOU FIRST.

BERLERMO ANGST!!!!

Me :

My dog : Please not again. Please no

Me : No, no I am good

*narrator voice* 5 seconds later

*proceeds to start crying again*

My dog : *hands me a bar of chocolate and some water*

Me : *sniffing* thank you, sweetie

🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

Ok, back to review, again :

Agatha is so fucking badass 😍

She be like :

That entire scene is mindblowing 🤯 Absolutely amazing. Also, shout out to Axel for being the best assistant 😄

And Agatha cooing at the baby 😍😍😍 Such a shame we didnt get to see Mama!Agatha in canon 🙁

I love the fact that Alicia and Agatha have their own stuff going on apart from the telenova nutcases 🤣🤣🤣

Also, I dont know whatever witchcraft you did, but you, you made me root for the Agatha/Alicia ship so bad, at least for this story

As carefully as she could, she opened the front door. She looked back one more time at her, the child sleeping peacefully by her side, and left.

😍 Agatha and Alicia running off int..... well never mind 🙁. But I expect a happy ending for both of them and its non-negotiable

But as Andrés took off of the house, not as steady as he tried to seem, nearly blind with everything, and crossed the road with only one thing ringing in his mind, the physical pain of his heart shattering

Unaware of his surroundings, a car that was going too fast for its own good, that someone else, Andrés even in another time, might have saw coming in time, clashed with him, raising him off the ground.

😱😱😱 OH FUCKING HELL!!! OH MY DEAR LORD!!!! OH SHIT!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

Okay, I am NOT kidding but I was reading this on my mobile and my dog was sitting beside me. When I read Andres being hit, I squeaked and my mobile slipped outta my hands and I accidently (slightly) bonked my dog and yes, hes fine, he just got spooked a bit.

Hello again!! Great to see you back!

Oh yeah, he honestly have every right to be angry. I can't even imagine.

She is! This is a telenovela and monologuing villains will monologue. Omg, can't believe I managed to get you that pissed off her lmfao. Okay but look, Federico is about 10-12 years younger than Sergio, who is about 10-12 years younger than Andrés. He's probably about half Andrés' age and Andrés and Tatiana got married when they were pretty young. So yeah Federico was at worst not even born and at best a few months old agshshhs. She's evil, but not that sick. And I got Silene 65% redeemed omg agshhs can't believe I've gotten those two reactions from you.

Yes lmfao Martín's role in her take out was to be so pittiful and distracting.

HE IS. Our hero.

(I got distracted for a moment here at how pretty Wanda is, wtf) seriously so, so happy you felt for the Sergio and Martín moment, I genuinely loved writing it. Yes, despite all else, Sergio and Martín reached the understanding that they'd both do all for Andrés.

Yes!! Martín really pulled all that up for him. Your dog is so good and nice. You and him are the powerful duo.

AND SHE DID. Amazing, really, I would have even left my own son and ran away. And YES thank you for acknowledging Axel's hard work. He is the best assistant ever.

Oh yeah, both seperated pretty early on from the rest and had their own shit going on lmfao. Like they still used Martín's store but Martín is really beyond noticing anything now.

I'm so happy you rooted for them!!!

Don't worry. You'll find what your heart desires in the finale.

OMG so happy your dog is okay but also so happy I got this reaction afabhahshshs so glad it surprised you like that!!!

Thank you so much Kal. Again and Again.

[davidcarner]

Wanting It All Ch 2, The More Things Change

A/N: A lot of you seem to like it. It has raised a ton of questions. For the record, Halfachance's wonder May Your Walls Have Joy gave me the itch to write an actual child again. Also for the record, I do have a single parent fic where Chuck and Jill are the parents, and Jill is out of the picture. Who knows, someday I may yank that one out. (Perhaps I should finish one of these first). Currently wrestling with chapter six. My beta and I actually co-wrote it and she plotted it. I find myself smiling a lot with that one. To clarify, both Chuck and Jenny/Sarah think the other hurt them….but they can't both be right, can they? Surely these two who communicate so well, and were 17 at the time didn't make any assumptions, right? (was the sarcasm too subtle?) By the time this chapter is over, you're going to have *some* answers. Strap in, Ellie gets involved, and things are, well, complicated. (DON'T TWITCH THAT EYEBROW AT ME ELLIE!) Welcome to Wanting It All Ch 2, The More Things Change.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, and I honestly felt a little scared for Sarah writing this.

"Mommy, should we get Mr. Chuck a present?" Jordan asked from his seat. Sarah smiled at the thoughtfulness of her son. Birthdays hadn't meant a lot in her life until a certain one nine years ago that had changed her life. There was also the one just two months ago that had changed it again.

-ooooo-

2 months ago

"I don't know how you do it," Felicia said to her. There were six children at the party, 6 adults, but Daniel was no where to be seen, again.

"I do believe I'm not the first single mom in the history of the world," Sarah said with a grin.

"Oh, not that, having the dad around for four years now without making an ultimatum." Sarah gave her a look. "Listen, I'm not judging you, I'm saying I don't know how you do it. He's a good looking guy, you're obviously both in to each other if your still together for this long."

"I wouldn't say together," Sarah said, shrugging. "What we have works."

"See, that's what I'm saying, if Brad missed this party…" she trailed off and shrugged.

Sarah gave her a smile. "Can you watch them a second?" Felicia nodded and Sarah snuck off to the back bedroom. She pulled out her cellphone and made a call, after the third ring she heard his voice. "Hey, good mission?"

"There's no mission," he said, sounding confused.

"Oh, well, Jordan is having his birthday party."

"I know, you told me, wait…did he not get his gift?"

"He did," she said, slowly. "If there's no mission then why are you not here?"

"Sarah, I don't want him to get to attached, you never know when my next one could be my last one."

"That's kinda why you need to be here now, Daniel, you're his father."

"Sarah, we agreed," he said, as if that should be the end of the conversation.

"I have to go, MY son is having a party and one of his parents needs to be there."

"Sarah-" she hung up, put the phone on silent, and went back to the party.

It was evening, Jordan was in bed after his big day, and Sarah was sipping a glass of wine. She looked at her computer and the application she was thinking about submitting. It was away from here, and back to him. God, why go back there? He had broken her heart in ways she didn't think possible. He owed her answers. She knew it was nearly eight years, but he owed her a why. Why would he hurt her? How could HE hurt her? It was so unlike him, but he did. It didn't make sense. She snorted, nothing about the two of them made sense.

She'd failed seduction class at the farm because of him. She couldn't use guns correctly because all she could think about was him, and his look anytime anyone got hurt. She missed that smile, those curls, that smile, those eyes, God she missed him. Eight damn months were all they had together and the rest of her life combined had never equaled as much happiness. She loved Jordan, and she would do anything to protect her baby, but this guy had changed her life. He had shown her how to be loved, he had shown her that she deserved love, and then he had dumped her. It just didn't make sense. Was what happened the night before he broke up with her too much? Did he find out what she and her dad were? How could he have done that? There was a knock on the door. She shook her head, setting her jaw. She knew who it was, but that he had the balls to come over here right now….

"Daniel," she said as she opened the door. He had his left hand on the door frame grinning at her. "What the hell do you want?"

His expression changed to surprise. "Oh, sorry, someone here?"

"No, wait, are you seeing someone?"

"No, you know I wouldn't be 'seeing' someone." Her eyebrows raised. "Seriously, we don't even see each other."

"I'm aware," she said. Daniel was all sorts of confused.

"Can I come in?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

He didn't hide the surprise. "We had an agreement-"

"Damn it, Daniel, yes, we did, but we have a kid, and I know what I said, I know what you said, but do you really want to keep living like this?"

"Sarah, I have to keep going until I get them for her."

"But, Daniel, you have a son here, you have me."

"But you're not her."

She swallowed. She knew. Deep down she had always hoped that the two of them could help each other forget, but it had never worked. They were good together, but they weren't perfect, and both of them had had perfect, and it ruined them. She wasn't so much mad at him, but mad at herself for letting herself believe there could be more, wanting more.

"We have a good thing, Sarah."

"Yeah, but I want it all." She looked at him through her lashes and she knew, she didn't love him and he didn't love her, and they both knew it. He had always known, she had spent the time since their son was born trying to convince herself there could be more. There wasn't more. There never would be. "Once you find them, get justice, then what? Is there a chance at an us then?" He shook his head. She took a deep breath. "I'm leaving DC."

"Okay, let me know where, and I'll send the checks, and if you need anything-"

"Daniel, I don't want your money. In fact, I'd like you to sign away all rights." He blinked and then nodded. He reached into his coat pocket.

"I had two reason to come by, one of which was to see you, but the real reason I came." That stung, but he was being honest. Daniel was always honest, but his honesty and someone else's were so much different. "Your dad asked me to give this to you." She gave him a questioning look and he shrugged. "He called, said you needed to see this, and not to come tomorrow. In fact he doesn't think you'll ever come back again." He paused. "I really want to do my duty with Jordan." Sarah closed her eyes. "Please, once you get where ever, just let me know."

"Okay."

"And I can send the check?"

"Sure, Daniel, thank you."

"Yeah, hey, I get it. We both knew what this was, and if you want more, than you deserve it. But with what you feel about him…"

"I know," she sighed. "But I have to try."

"Good luck, Sarah," and with that he left. She shut the door, stared at the DVD, went over, and put it in her player.

"What the hell have you done now, Dad?" She watched the DVD and as she listened to her father, her mouth dropped open. She began to cry. She wanted to throw things. She wanted to break something. God, she was going to kill him. She was going to kill him just as soon as he got out. He ought to be glad he was behind bars. She looked down at her computer and hit submit, sending the application. She pulled up a word document and typed up her resignation letter, tears streaming down her face. She was getting the hell out of this worthless hellhole and going back. She was going back and try to fix her life. She had no idea how the hell she was going to do it, but she had to try. He taught her that much. She deserved to be loved.

-ooooo-

Present

Chuck walked up to his sister's front door and knocked. The door opened quickly, and the brunette on the other side had a huge smile. She quickly studied him and went into diagnosis mode.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, sounding weary. "Can I come in?"

She brightened and stepped to the side. "Please. Now we have a lot to talk about, like which of my single doctor friends you would be interested in me having at the party." Chuck entered and winced at the reminder. "You promised."

"Heh," he chuckled, remembering the second half of her promise, but thinking better of it…although….he might as well get something out of this. He began to laugh. Ellie watched him, wondering what was wrong with her brother. She had said that the only way she wouldn't invite them was if she came back. "You remember your promise?"

"Chuck! Don't go there. Don't, you need to move on, for God's sake, it's been eight years."

"I know exactly how long it's been."

"I swear if I find her I will kill her."

"No, you won't."

"I'll throttle her."

"Nope."

"I'll…."

"Be mad, but smile while she's here and make remarks to me and Devon that you think she can't hear."

"You're probably right…WAIT A MINUTE!"

"Here we go," he said, thinking back to how easier it was years ago.

-ooooo-

2009

"Hi, I'm Chuck Bartowski, I've been asked to show you around." Jenny stared at the hand that he was offering her. She then followed the arm up to the shoulders, and the head with curls that went on for days. Someone should really help him fix those. Her fingers twitched with the thought of doing it for him and she had to concentrate to make them stop. He started to look awkward. Why? Oh! She hadn't shook his hand. She put her's out quickly, catching his, and he gave her a smile and his brown eyes lit up. Oh…oh boy.

"Jenny Burton," she said, giggling. What was she doing, she didn't giggle? Then his smile turned on full blast and she forgot she didn't giggle. In fact, she wasn't remembering a lot of anything. He walked her to each class, sat beside her during class, and Jenny had never remembered anyone being as nice as he was, that didn't want something. So, she watched him, her dad's training took over, and she watched him like a hawk. But there was nothing he wanted, other than to just be with her. Talking, sitting, texting, listening to music and that's the way it had been for two weeks.

"So Ellie is throwing me a birthday party Saturday, and I know it's really lame but would you like to come?"

"YES!" she was shocked at the force in which she said it. She needed to get a grip. Her eyes traveled to his curls. Maybe that's what she should get a grip of….down girl! She waited for the week to fly by, but it crawled and she found herself met with the most awful dilemma of her life. She wanted to buy him the moon, the stars, star wars (whatever the hell that was) but the only money she had was con money, and it didn't feel right buying Chuck Bartowski something with con money.

It was Friday afternoon, and she was dropping him off at home, she insisted on driving him to and from school each day. He tried to give her gas money, but she refused. As he started to get out of the car, she grabbed his arm, gently.

"Chuck, I need to tell you something." She swallowed. It was now or never. "I really didn't have the money to buy you anything."

"Jenny, it's fine."

"No, it's not. I did get you something, and I'd like to give it to you before you go. I want it to be special, just me and you." He got that goofy grin he got only around her. It made her smile. He was special, and she was going to protect him from this crazy world. Two weeks of knowing him and she already knew that. "May I give it to now?" He nodded, and before he had a change to change his mind, she sprang. Chuck had been kissed by a few girls…no…that wasn't right. Chuck had attempted kisses with a few girls, this, this was a kiss. It started out sweet, but it quickly became more. She had gripped his shirt by this point, twisting it and pulling him further into her. She pulled away and stared into his eyes. "Happy birthday, Chuck," she said softly.

"Best birthday present, ever." His grin made her so happy she thought she might burst. "I really wish I had more birthdays."

She smiled at him. "Those don't have to be for just birthdays," she said, biting her bottom lip.

"Nervous, Jenny?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you nervous, you're just about perfect." She rolled her eyes. "Hey, you're funny, sweet, beautiful, and those eyes of yours…they just see into my soul. And when you smile that smile just for me…Thank you for the best gift I've ever gotten." She grinned. He smirked a little. "I could seriously think of only one better gift."

Here it comes, this was all an act, just to get me in bed. Dad warned me. He warned me that's what guys wanted. "What's that, Chuck," she said it with no emotion in her voice.

"If you were to be my girlfriend," he said quickly. "Sorry, I probably," he had begun to turn away, when her hand grabbed his face and gently turned it toward her.

She wasn't expecting that answer, but she proceeded cautiously. "What does that entail?"

"Oh, riding to school with me, but I guess we'll have to go in your car since I can't afford one." She laughed. "Sitting with me at lunch, watching movies together, texting, talking, maybe every once in a while we pretend it's my birthday."

"Really, Chuck," she said. He gulped. "If you're my boyfriend, everyday will be your birthday." His eyes lit up. "Uh, is that Ellie?" Chuck turned.

"Oh, crap, she's going to wonder what we're doing."

"Tell her the truth, you were telling your girlfriend goodbye." She pulled him for a quick kiss and then pushed him away. "Now go, before you get into trouble. I'll see you tomorrow." He got out of the car, shut the door, spun and stood there grinning. She rolled down the window. "Bye, Chuck,"

"Bye, Jenny," he said, as she pulled away.

"Chuck, who is that?" Ellie asked. Chuck looked up toward the heavens as the squeal began and birds flew away in fright.

-ooooo-

Present

"Good job, Agent Shaw," Graham said. Daniel had a pleased smile on his face. "So, with Sarah resigning, is that the prelude to you two getting married?"

"No, Sarah is moving to LA, so if I need to be stationed anywhere for this operation, I can be."

Graham nearly exploded. "You let her?"

"Let? Sir, I don't know if you've noticed, but Sarah has martial arts training and while I think I would win in a fight, I'm not crazy enough to try. If I told her she couldn't or more appropriately shouldn't then she would have expected our relationship to change."

"So change it!"

"Sir?"

"Agent, she was your cover!"

"No, sir, she wasn't, and frankly I'm not happy with what your suggesting."

"I don't give a damn if you're happy or not. You are to go home and win her back."

"Sir, she's in LA."

Graham was livid. "Damn it, I never should have approved her resignation."

"Sir, you couldn't have stopped her."

"Go to LA. You are now stationed there."

"Sir, you can't make her take me back."

"You can win her back."

"I never had her to start with, Sir. She's not in love with me, and if she's there in LA, then she's with the man she loves."

"Daniel, go to LA, win her back."

"I'll go to LA, Sir, but I promise nothing."

"There are things we can do."

"Sir, you are two seconds from me resigning."

"Okay, Daniel, okay, but I need you in LA, with your child."

"I don't like this, at all. She's a civilian, he's a civilian."

"Noted." Shaw shook his head, got up, and left.

-ooooo-

Present, Ellie's home

"She's here, in Burbank?" Chuck just nodded. He was sitting at a stool at the bar, while Ellie paced and mumbled things incoherently. She hadn't been able to get a grip for a few minutes. "What did she say." Chuck grinned.

"Well, she introduced me to her son," Chuck began.

"SHE HAS A SON!?" Ellie was livid. Chuck thought it was very wrong of himself to enjoy this, but he really couldn't help himself. She was pacing, and stopped, midstride. "She's after your money."

"Maybe," Chuck said, nodding. "I think we should put Casey on it."

"Why did you let her come to your party, why would you invite her?"

"Because Anna told her son and said he should come and have cake and ice cream," Chuck replied. Ellie sighed.

"You couldn't tell her no," Ellie said softly.

"I did manage to tell her I wouldn't give her my phone number." Ellie just stared and waited for the rest. "I did however let her put her number in mine."

"Of course you did, Chuck."

"I'm sorry, Ellie."

"Why are you sorry, Chuck. You love her."

"Yeah, I still do. Eight damn years and I can't quit. Eight years of trying to date anyone to make me forget her." Tears were in his eyes. "She left, no goodbye, no nothing, for eight damn years. I don't know if the government could snatch and hide someone that well." Ellie came over and hugged him. "Her name is now Sarah Walker, it's not Jenny Burton any more."

"Did you get a picture of her?" Chuck shook his head. "She's beautiful now isn't she? That beauty you saw inside her is out for everyone to see." Chuck nodded. "Why, Chuck, why did she leave?"

"Maybe it was me," he said softly. He cried. He let out the emotions he had thought were gone over the past eight years. He let it all out, and Ellie held him. She hadn't seen him like this in so long. After some time he stopped. She sent him to the room they had for him in their house, because he was always family, and he fell right to sleep. She grabbed his phone, punched in Jenny, now Sarah's birthday and pulled up her contact information. Her thumb hung over the delete button. She thought for a second. Sarah Jenny Walker Burton wasn't hurting her brother any more. She hit the button.

A/N: Ellie. Don't. Play. Next time, a birthday party. Who will be there, what will be said, will there be a showdown, and does someone go against Ellie? *GASP* Hoped you liked it, reviews are always welcomed…til next time.

DC