#But I'm still terrified otl

[quinloki]

I'm not even into yandere normally but I'm thinking about a polyam yandere situation with some of the WBP division commanders. Maybe you were a stowaway, maybe you were a hostage they couldn't bear to get rid of. Regardless you're entrapped between the group of them now. With such a large crew someone always has eyes on you. They rotate you between different DCs to sleep with, like a prized possession they share.

Also, if anyone is too harsh with you, there's always Marco to heal and soothe any injuries. He seems like the softest, most rational one--but in reality he's the most obsessed.

WB lets it happen--anything to keep his sons happy and under control.

Help it's too early to have these thoughts OTL

… you can’t do this to me.

You can’t

I…

Gods -

You get hurt defending one of them- you’re no one really, just some islander, never left your village hardly never mind your island, but the WBP have been protecting the place for half your life. You watched things improve.

Like most people you lookup to them, so when other pirates start a fight with them at port you’re staying out of the way, but you’re also close by. You’re not much of a fighter, but you want to see them fight, you want to witness your heroes being heroes. You’re so unskilled comparatively that you don’t realize that Marco isn’t moving because he knows an attack is coming, you think the attack is working.

Moving before you can speak the realization hits all three of you at once. The pirate turns toward you as Marco turns to see who those third person is, and it all happens just fast enough he can’t stop you from taking the strike. Clumsy and accidental, it’s still deep. Deadly, if not mortal.

The white beard pirates erupt in ferocity - they had been holding back cause they don’t treat weaker crews cruelly, but now someone under their care has been harmed. The battle barely lasts a second after that.

You’re in Marco’s arms, flames flaring around you as he takes you back to the ship. It takes days - fighting off infection and fever with his help, he and some of the other commanders listen your fever dreams - your devotion, and they watch you struggle to live. The offending crew will be on the bottom of the ocean if you don’t pull through.

When you come around there’s a celebration. You are quickly effectively adopted by the crew. You’re so enamored with all of them, these great men you idolize, that you are on your best and kindest behavior. You couldn’t dare to put them out or offend them.

By the time you’re fully recovered you realize that something’s wrong. No one’s talking about how they’ll miss you. No one’s talking about getting you home. They’ve talked about your room, your space, your home and you realize they don’t mean the island.

You stand at the railing of the great ship, so large you hadn’t barely felt the list and tilt of the waves from your recovery bed, and you see naught but sea.

Marco puts a hand on your shoulder and when you look up at him you see a darkened face and fiery eyes, a fierce and demanding gaze hidden in the hooded eyes that always seemed so docile. Thatch, Izou, Ace, and a couple other commanders are standing around. Their kind smiles and warm expressions slightly off just like Marco’s.

Menacing to you with your new understanding.

“Don’t worry, yoi.” Marco says, even and clear voice oddly reassuring, equally terrifying. “We’ll keep you safe, pretty bird.”

And Marco is the constant. It’s his eyes you see in the dim edges of the kitchen when the drugged food Thatch is giving you starts to take effect. Marco sitting in for tea with Izou, while you’re bound in shibari, elegant and beautiful and immobile. Marco who pulls Ace off you when he’s fallen asleep buried inside you and you’re too tried to get out from under him.

Marco who sits on Pops’ shoulder when you’re called to talk to the Captain.

Marco who soothes your rope burns and relieves the ache of bruising marks even as he moves over you, laying you down so sweetly beneath him. Don’t worry sweet little bird, he’ll be so gentle, so precise, so sing for him in that song that no one else gets to hear.

[captainmazzic]

Opening Dialogue, or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Sith

Chapter Fifty-Seven: In Which There Is A Discussion Of Adventure, And Another Of Power

Chapters: 57/??

Fandom: Star Wars

Timeline: Just after the Treaty of Coruscant

Word Count: 3810

Characters: Original Jedi and Sith characters

Summary: Astele and Dom have a little chat about Dom not having very good social skills and some strange conceptions when it comes to Sith, while Adrestin tries to make some progress getting arrangements made. Then he and Sivin have a long talk about some of Adrestin's hopes and dreams.

And if anyone was ever curious about how Sithly Adrestin really is, I guess this chapter covers that, lol.

....kinda worried about the next chapter, because there's a possibility I have to write Jadus, and oh boy am I terrified of making him too out of character. Guess I won't know til I try ahahahaaaaaa

.....I haven’t posted a new chapter since March of last year. I'm so bad at this. OTL But at least it's up! I hope there's still people around that care about these characters, because I'm still hopelessly enamored lolololol

[merakiui]

Hi Mera! I found a thing and wanted to share it with you if I may >:3

https://www.tumblr.com/soarien/720137928497659904/what-if-i-psychoified-him?source=share (It's just Sampo fanart, no spoilers! Idk if you're ok with us putting links in our asks even if it's solely fanart on tumblr, and I apologize if you'd prefer not! I will refrain from putting links in my asks in the future! But in case you would want to see it here you go >-<)

No ideas in my brain just t h o u g h t s orzz

I need psycho scary Sampo carnally

It actually makes me think of Sampo's Eidolon "The Deeper the Love, The Deeper the Hate," which has been tickling my brain ever since I first saw it 👀

Maybe, maybe maybe, we'll see a scary side to Sampo in the future *-* As much as I love my silly little bastard <3 I also kinda wanna see what he would be like if you mixed the goofy with him being utterly unhinged orzz

Anyway, just wanted to share the brainrot and delicious art with you :3 Hope you have a wonderful day! <3

"Why the long face, darling~?"

(Also btw, this is the person that sent the last Sampo ask. I discovered your anon list after sending it ^^; Could I be ☄️ anon instead please? Thank you very much if so and apologies for the inconvenience!)

OMG THAT SAMPO ART!!!!!!! OTL he looks so crazy in the best way!!!! >v< (and it's entirely okay to link fanart in the asks!) I also need psycho Sampo so carnally... and that one Eidolon!!!!! The moment I read it, I couldn't help becoming so curious. Something about the phrase "the deeper the love, the deeper the hate" is just so yummy to me!! Maybe Sampo loves you so much that even if you do things that might warrant his hate he'll still love you to such an obsessive degree. orz I feel like you would have to do a lot for Sampo to truly hate you, though. ^^;;; he's just so in love with you. Even if you call him a creep or hit him in retaliation or say you'll never love him, he remains steadfast in his loyalty to you. <3

I also wish to see a scary side to Sampo!!! Though he's goofy and babygirl material, it would be so interesting to see the sides where he's cold and calculating with his business acumen (read: sly scammer behaviors lol) or even an utterly unhinged side as you wrote!!! orz I just want to imagine Sampo after he's just eliminated a rival or even your own lover and he has you absolutely cornered and he smiles at you with such a lovesick demeanor! I still can't get the concept of "even customers can become commodities for the right price" out of my mind!! Sampo has such good yandere potential. Goofy, harmless puppyboy exterior and maybe beneath that he's a gross creep who is horribly obsessed. >:D

Aaaaaa it's too good!!! orz "why the long face, darling?" he asks as if it's not obvious you're crying because you're scared and terrified of what he's capable of!!!

(You may be ☄️ anon!!! :D I'm happy to see you in my inbox again!!! Thank you for blessing me with Sampo fanart and lovely brain rot!!!!!! <3 I love him. orz orz)

[jackals-ships]

I wanna know EVERYTHING about your ship with Solas 👀👀 I'm here for the lore! I'm taking notes and then eating them to keep the lore safe jshffkfk

- @faerie-circle-ships

taking notes and then eating them to keep the lore safe GIGGLIIIIIING

so the tldr run down is “this fuckass elf has bewitched me someone HELP”

the longer tldr is “jackal stop making Isekaid characters for the express purpose of inflicting The Horrors upon them” “........no” “at least stop putting them in The Blender” “..............putting them on smoothie mode as we speak”

under a cut bc i Rambled in a “i have thought and said so much idk What All I've posted. memory issues go bzzz” type way HFJ crash course w/out the PowerPoint presentation. mostly. bc i wander when i talk HF

so funny enough solas wasn't even ON my radar for years, i don't remember what prompted my eyes emojis but now ive been cursed. he's race and gender locked to f!lavellan so i DO remember the thot process being “....oh that would be so funny and sexy.” (old man not immune to the siren call of Worlds Dampest Rat more at 11) + I have a Thing for isekai characters so. squishes them together

(there IS a notable offshoot for the elf!isekai jackal verse but the primary ship is human jackal + the beats are Similarish)

anyways. jackal gets plopped down into Thedas and is immediately “oh this is a fuckass dream- nvm I'm feeling pain. hm. uh oh” with an added layer of “ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ UH-OH” bc they romanced solas. but they are DETERMINED to not fall in love

this fails immediately. a fact that makes them SO MAD

solas for his part for the first several months is 🤔 that's a weird little guy and they make me feel kinda fuzzy 🤔🤔 and i enjoy teasing them and talking with them generally 🤔🤔🤔 im sure it's nothing tho

(solas watching jackal bar everyone in the chantry so they can go fist fight corypheus and having the WORST timing for realizing he's in love)

anyways again. squishing them in my hands. they're my tragic little guys. im locking them in a room and putting them into the contraptions

two little guys who love each other SO much !! who are also consumed by their guilt !! liar4liar (Solas lives in fear of them hating them or worse; being terrified of him) (jackal just can't fuckin EXPLAIN it without sounding off their nut. more than usual)

but where solas lets things slip in vague ways cuz he can't keep his mouth Shut around them jackal lets things slip to try to see if he can see that they Know (he almost does. but he thinks no, surely not.) (he also does have the occasional eye twitching when they point at Fen'harel’s murals and go “would.”)

god the trespasser dlc is also it's whole entire ramble i need to make a post on it makes me UNWELL you have solas “I have to do this alone” vs jackal “get back here. let me help. I am asking I am begging you to let me HELP”

also like. there's a ~10 yr gap between Inquisition and Veilguard (iirc 2 are the trespasser dlc time point) and they are. hunting him down. (trying at least. he's SLIPPERY) i like the idea of them catching up a few times and he always slips away overnight,,cuz it makes me OTL to imagine

veilguard time lore is a little more wriggly, but i DID decide that jackal is at the ritual. except instead of stopping them they're Trying to help (Solas thinks they want to stop him and they're just shaking him violently. 10 yrs !! of tracking !!! after I said I wanted to help!!! ARE YOU DUMB-) (Varric voice oh god damn it I have to talk TWO stubborn assholes down) things still shake out badly tho and solas is baby jailed while jackal is thankful for plot armor

jackal is kind of. not quite an Antagonist to rook and co but close. they skulk around the lighthouse while they recover, they're blatantly telling rook jackal got solas as the man. they're dealing with fen'harel the wolf. which makes it funnier bc jackal is lying through their Teeth about changing their mind and thinking the veil should stay up (jackal voice wow you guys are. bad. at this huh)

there's also. so much friction bc they Get It, they've had years now to ruminate on all the fuck shit he did (made the thing that gave them the anchor and STOLE THEIR ARM being one) but they are so. so painfully in love

god there's also an incredibly sexy scene that lives in my head, bc jackal drank from the well of sorrows and oopsies now has a bit of mythal in them, they get controlled by elgar'nan. solas jackal slap fight where he's trying SO hard to not hurt them while also knocking them back into themself,,idk how/where it fits in bc ik he's in baby jail but it's sexie

ALSO also. for the solas jackal world state i did settle that they bring down the veil, im not 100% sure what that looks like exactly. but i do know post canon they're retiring…sort of. they're both restless and not good at staying in one place for too long AND their kids are also prone to wandering so. y'know

jackal is pleasantly surprised by this, bc part of their Desperation this entire time was being under the assumption that they were in a “Solas dies in the end” timeline, bc there was so MUCH they couldn't change. you can only tug at the strings of a story so much but by GOD they were cutting and yanking at them things as hard as possible

[strawberista]

get to know me!

do you make your bed? Kind of? I never unmake my bed to sleep in it in the first place. ^^; I lay on the made bed and use a throw blanket to cover up. Then as I roll around in my sleep, the bed slowly unmakes itself. When it gets looking a bit unkempt, I take all of the bedclothes off, wash them, and remake my bed, starting the process all over again. The only thing that comes on and off the bed each night are my stuffed animals, of which I sleep with one and put the rest away until morning.

favourite number? I really haven't considered numbers so closely. :Tc I don't suppose I have one.

job? None. ^^; I stay at home and take care of the house and puppies. I live with my Sibling and their Spouse and my Mom, all of which have the real jobs.

if you could go back to school, would you? Oh, no. I still have nightmares about school, and I haven't been in school for over 10 years now.

can you parallel park? I cannot drive at all. ଵ˛̼ଵ

do you think aliens are real? Yeah, most likely, even if it's not what we imagine when we think of them.

can you drive a manual car? Nope! ^^;;; See above.

what's your guilty pleasure? Man, I don't know. I feel like everything I like gets talked down about by Sibling and even Spouse on some occasions. Everything I do and like might be bad, but I just enjoy what I do. Will say that I recently got pulled into Call of Duty's storyline in a really crazy way. That one is pretty wild. but I like what I like, I guess.

tattoos? I have a deep fear of needles in all forms so there's no way I would ever get them, but I really appreciate them. Both my mom and dad have a lot of very cool tattoos. Spouse has some, too. I'm happy for them, but it couldn't be me.

favourite colour? I think the color I associate with myself most is magenta, however I think my favorite thing to look at is holographic/iridescent/rainbow stuff.

do you like puzzles? To an extent. I do not have the mental capacity to solve even mildly difficult puzzles, but I enjoy playing them. I have learned through games like Harmony and Cascadia have taught me that I have severe analysis paralysis that will get in the way of my puzzle solving every single time.

any phobias? Needles and people/upsetting people. Not sure how to describe the latter one. But like, I do not do well with human beings at all. No problem with them, I'm just terrified I'm going to do something wrong and bad so bad that I'm scared even if everything is fine (teetering between if it might be agoraphobia, anthropophobia, or... both...? Unsure at this time).

favourite childhood sport? I wasn't a child that participated in any sports. I tried to do band for a couple of years, but I could never really figure out how to read music? I miscounted every time and couldn't learn my notes properly and it was just always bad. OTL I didn't do anything else after that.

do you talk to yourself? All the time. I talk to myself, I narrate my life in the voices of others I've been listening to/watching, I even play out scenarios in my head. It's like my own internal background music.

tagged by: stolen from @sanitatemsolis

tagging: Please steal~

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

AHHH I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S OVER :(( i’ve been following along since the beginning and truly believe that you did such an amazing job with this event. i’ve never seen a matchup event with so much lore and secrets to uncover and it was so fun reading every piece that you wrote and seeing everyone’s theories that came out of it!

as for everyone’s fics, i love how you didn’t try to sugarcoat anything and that you weren’t afraid to kill anyone off in their own fics i found that this is also what made your event so unique since most matchups would give them their match and a happy ending. these fics terrified me ngl BUT IN A GOOD WAY LIKE THEY REALLY HAD ME ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT I WAS SCARED FOR THE PEOPLE THAT RECEIVED THOSE MATCHES.

oof this is getting lengthy but one final thing i wanna say is thank you so so much for hosting such a fun event and fighting through burnout to get everything out for us, we all appreciate the hard work you put into this!!! get some well deserved rest and i can’t wait to see what the next event you have planned will be ☺️

YEAH IT TRULY IS OVER NOW... I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THE MAIN STORY IS DONE OTL

Anyways, thank you so much for the compliments on my event! I enjoyed the lore and world building of it too much and wanted to bring a different flavor to the matchup aspect (hence the renting a boyfriend that's actually a human trafficking operation and the black company allegations), and I enjoyed seeing that you and the others had a ton of fun reading through the fics available last week + the lore tidbits.

HELP THE ONE PART ABOUT YOU SAYING THAT WITH ME KILLING PEOPLE OFF IN THEIR FICS HELPPP

Listen, okay, listen. I love me a good fluff matchup drabble fic okay. I love it. However, if we're talking yanderes, me killing some people is highly smth you'd expect esp from yans that... Don't like you LMAO

(and tbh I was also thinking of writing urs because it's such an interesting spin I wanted to take, it even had a POLL and everything but No. NO. one man took my motivation and RAN with it, I'm going to fucking kick his ass.)

Anyways I wanna say thank you as well for joining and being really patient with me when I gone through this event ;v; I really wished I could write yours and everyone else's to complete the roster, but writer's block + life stuff + burnout came to kick my ass LMAOOOOO

(I'm going to take the week off to rest and rejuvenate, but never fear, I'm also planning on the fics I want to focus. Some won't be as bad because it's more lore before I go down the story explained route so HAISHSIS HOPEFULLY YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SEE YOURS AND TELL ME IF I NAILED BOTH TIGHNARI AND CYNO)

[xiuminscheeks]

New episode so im back :DD

-I may be in love with Mr lee. I cant help it he has the shiniest wettest puppydog eyes of all time and the energy of a melancholy widow skhsks i would do anything he asks of me 🥺 hes still fucking terrifying and all powerful tho dont get me wrong (complimentary)

-I was gonna make a joke about yul at the table thinking 'kids these days always on their phones smh' but then he went on the sweetest protective rant over ms han T.T 

Edit; aksjsj poor all suffering yul giving the talk TWICE in one day to both parties,,, still its v cute of him

-Mr jins smug smile making coffee and listening to ms han lying her ass off is murdering me... the tangerine grab.... the school shenanigans... oh they are SOOOOO unsubtle i just know theyre immediately going to get caught

Wait tHE PINKY HAND HOLDING they are so freaking adorable

Also the dramatics of the curtain scene 💀 this show is endlessly goofy i cant deal

-Yul with the spirit banishment antics....where did that come from sksjk... but !!! Were getting to see more glimpses of the past 👀👀

-SKSJJS the sister falling for woo taek, i fucking knew itttt was coming!! And good! Hes been such a supportive and caring friend, 10/10 i approve of this matchup u.u

-I love that theyre all daring and clingy at school but as soon as they get some time alone theyre theeee most awkward fuckers on this planet, 5ft apart cos theyre NOT daTing definitely not

-love how mr lee just has the housecode and barges straight in like hey :) ive decided im gonna hang out here now and theres nothing you can do about it :D theres never a moment of peace in this show its just back to back misfortunes of awkwardness xD but its worth suffering through the second hand stress for that closet scene <333 sleepy kisses. Actually theres tongue in there nvm wow (did they fuck in the closet. I. we may never know.)

-MR LEEEEE DONT BE SAAAD AND THEN ACT EVIL ABOUT IT OTL i could fix his loneliness. sorry this is turning into me being obsessed w him but i mean. His deeply sad and sinister demeanour has enchanted me. AND HES BACK TO SCARY HES GOT A WHOLE ASS SWORD. I kindly request you dont murder the main characters theyre sooo important to me and they only just got to be happy T.T

-Also next weeks preview is making me insaaaane i knew those bracelets were nothing good >:( but every glimpse of the past we get to see i get more excited!!!!!!

Anyway AAAA i might have to start another show off your list to tide me over cos i cant keep waiting for new episodes with nothing in between 😔

- 🌱

HEY! I just logged in on desktrop and saw this. hopefully its not been long since you have sent it. the app sometimes doesnt show me all the notifications.

love everything you said cause I feel pretty much the same. the show is so good at balancing the comedy and the drama, its crazy.

Yul was definitely the mvp of the episode, despite the steamy closet scene the leads shared. he is just too adorable/

as for mr. Lee, yes, you (and I too) could fix him. I'm still convinced that whatever happened in the past was just a misunderstanding, and that no one is evil, and I cant wait till the truth reveals.

let me know what other show from my list you start! also, let me suggest to more that I started and are SO GOOD OMG. The story of park's marriage contact and My Demon. trust me, you wont regret it

[nights-at-crystarium]

My replies under the cut :3c

Even though I don't really know how Vivi sounds, I feel like I know his voice.

I still have no voice claim for him *weeps* I probably could ask people to share their suggestions, but I'm too terrified of having to say no to those that don't match The Voice In My Head aaaaa. I'm pathetic.

But here's how I'd describe it: british accent because I'm a JB enjoyer, not too deep (for comparison, Raha sounds like a proper MAN next to him), greatly varying in tone/pitch because he's expressive. His neutral tone's soft and pleasant, he'd sing if he wanted. Growls or screams are a super rare spawn, iirc this episode's one of the two where that happens, the other one being episode 11. The speech itself's well-paced, sometimes he puts tiny accents on consonants.

Most of the above hcs are motivated by his social behavior: mirroring people, blending in, flowing like water around obstacles instead of facing them head-on.

I can share this closest-but-not-perfect voice claim, this guy's a bit too extra even for Vivi, but the laughs are 100% Vivi's.

The distance between them feels so sad and cold, especially with how Alisaie asks "Are you hurt?"

I really hoped that her misaligned question would emphasize the disconnect in their current states and views on their life in general, seems like it worked <w<

Did Alisaie walk away at that moment, too? Did she say anything at all? Or maybe she doesn't remember bc in the end it didn't matter bc Vivi knew that the answer was yes? Whether or not she wanted or tried to say it in a way that wasn't cold, it wouldn't matter bc the answer would have been the same ;;

Yeah.... The cold-blooded answer would be "yes this's our life, suck it up", I don't think Vivi even expected anything else, especially from Alisaie. Her keeping quiet was the best she could do. As for if she walked away at that moment too, I just ended the scene where it felt right, and didn't think much about the later honestly. Perhaps they returned home together, but stayed quiet, only exchanging small talk.

And I do mean speaking in the point of view of the characters ofc while I hope that Vivi's story ends in a way where he gets to be happy and loved, I won't know for sure >:'3

It'd be in the eye of the beholder tbh. This wolgraha's definitely more angsty and tragic than average. Not spoiling anything, one can already deduce from my art that the both of them are fine, both ARRRaha and Exarch survive the merge etc, but 5.0-5.3 is Vivi's absolute personal high, and he can never go back to that for canon reasons. Sometime ago I doodled this masterpiece of a chart, maybe it helps putting things in perspective x'D

Not indicative of the comic length, I didn't even try to draw a timeline up to scale. The story's all planned out, all arcs have a lot of meat on the bones, but as I refine it scene per scene, it changes in volume. When I say "the one piece of xiv comics" I ain't fuckin' jokin' o//////o;;;;

I CAN'T SAY I LOVE THEIR SMILES BC THERE ARE NO SMILES THIS EPISODE OTL

I FAILED YOUUUUUUU I'M SO SORRY

I wonder what Alisaie is thinking right now. Is she ashamed that she never reached out? I wonder if Vivi had other outbursts like that or if it only happened once and she forgot about it for a time.

Of course it's not the only tantrum, Vivi had a Fun Time in SB, and Alisaie had the (mis)fortune to babysit him and drag him back to duty whenever he tried to escape. I'll sprinkle in more backstory over time!

Alphinaud looks so confused ;w; it's likely that no one else has really seen that crumbling part of him just yet, but I wonder if they will anytime soon, or if Vivi will be able to hold it together til the end.

Yeah that clueless Alphi face tries to suggest that other Scions might've not seen the same Vivi. Twins be twins, but they aren't equally close to him.

Thank you for such a thoughtful and heartfelt feedback as usual ;3; And if someone else happens to read our exchanges, thank you for caring!!

✧✦✧ "Fragments" - episode 33 ✧✦✧

"If I had more courage back then, would things be different?"

New reader? Start here: @ffxiv-fragments

[dourpeep]

T,,,, TINY FELLFLOWER CHILD,,, Just a miniature version of Rubedo oh oh oh and lil blue and red tips on their blonde hair

if fellflower wants to be held in my arms then fellflower will be in my arms, he WILL be held.

ugh yes the baby will be terrified of albedo n it breaks his heart especially when he sees that actually the flowers not a threat and it was just following orders and doing what his master wanted

i can imagine it waddles like a penguin behind Rubedo and peeks behind his legs curiously, and even though it doesn’t have a mouth or eyebrows they’re still so expressive.

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT STARTING TO MIMIC RUBEDO THOUGH- Like Rubedo putting his hand under his chin to think (much like Albedo, it’s a shared trait but I imagine Ruby’s eyes are a lot sharper and serious when he’s thinking rather than soft and thoughtful/curious like Bebo’s) and his lil fellflower child puts its lil leaves under its chin and tilts its head to the side to look at whatever their papa is looking at. I’m all soft now, for little plant child that I will cherish.

First off--an offering hehehe

I doodled up a quick thing--including a headcanon on Rubedo's appearance as well as little bby fellflower (referencing the other post where Rue accidentally gives it a form that's a little kid version) :DD

OTL fellflower's too cute I'm gonna sob too

continuing!!

Look at that little baby, even has blue(ish) eyes like Rue nodnod 100% grade-A mimic. I'd imagine that they're a little quieter, namely because fellflower ingame spoke much less than Albedo and Rubedo. Though I did doodle them like a bit of a crybaby, I don't actually think that fellflower would be much of one apart from when Albedo is involved (at first)

ehe

But then taking about fellflower just as a whooperflower following Rubedo around?? Absolutely yes--they want to see what's going on with Rue and express interest in anything that Rubedo shows interest in. There's a lot of trust in that relationship which, really is a little funny considering the initial intention of using fellflower as bait, but I figure that Rue's also kept fellflower safe and well-taken care of since he did require them for his plans.

That being said--cherish the fellflower bby, gently hold-

[quackiseok]

— the night before spring

c! karlnapity x reader `` poly! au || oneshot

genre : angst

warnings : swearing, memory loss, fainting

summary : a beach trip the four of you planned to seek remedy, yet it ceased with another tragedy. [based on the time traveler lore]

a/n : hello! while i'm working on a headcanon, i offer you this drabble! i hope you cry liked it! 👀 and im so sorry for the plain writting, i will try my best to improve OTL

song to listen to while reading :

As the shorelines wash out the footsteps that were left behind, loud laughter filled the fresh air of the east side beach, colliding its melody with the sound of sea waves hitting the seaside.

'This day finally came, huh.' You thought to yourself, the smile you had never leaving your lips.

"It feels so nice to be away from the world." A sigh of relief escaped from Sapnap's lips as he placed his palms on the back of his head, allowing the warm breeze to brush against his bare chest.

You let out a hum, agreeing with your own of your boyfriends. Things have been exhausting for the four of you lately, especially after the town of L'manberg was demolished into ashes.

It was a miracle that the four of you somehow managed to get some time alone amidst the chaos arising in the SMP. Either way, you've never felt this thankful before.

"Yeah, things have been shitty lately." Alex sighed out loudly, recalling the horrid events that happened previously. His eyes were glazed with distress, but he hid it underneath a smile.

"Hey, let's just think about us in this place, yeah? Let's forget everything for a while."

Karl lightheartedly replied as he clung an arm around Alex's bare shoulders, offering comfort as the four of you kept going ahead with no direction.

Hints of sorrow rushed through your body for a second, comprehending the stress that all of you had to go through. You reached out your hand, gently wrapping your fingers around Alex's, attempting to comfort him as well.

What did they ever do to deserve this kind of pain?

As Alex replied with a chuckle and tightened his grasp on your hand, Sapnap wrapped his arm around your waist and bought himself closer to the three of you.

'When was the last time I was this happy?' You questioned yourself.

The silence returned in the air as time passed by, only the sounds of the ocean could be heard. Nonetheless, the four of you didn't mind at all.

The silent was peaceful, something you would love to listen to before being driven to sleep.

It's been a while since last you felt this kind of bliss rushing through your veins, it was something you've been yearning for in your daydreams.

Shivers ran down your spines as the breeze on your skin started growing colder, the four of you unconsciously drawing your bodies closer to gain more warmth from each other. The scenery was mesmerizing— its dazzling orange light covering the sky and the top of the ocean, the comforting smell of sea filling the atmosphere, the stunning clouds that lazily float in the air. It felt unreal to you, making you wish that you could stop the time from ticking. You can't imagine a better scenario than this one— spending a part of your life with your boyfriends in such an ethereal place.

For once in your life, it felt like the universe was finally on your side.

"–KARL!"

Alex barked out of the blue, making you flinch in fright from the unexpected loud clatter.

What the hell is happening?

You felt your heart dropped to your stomach as you were greeted by the sight of Alex holding Karl, who seems to be unconscious, tightly in his arms.

"KARL!" Both you and Sapnap growled simultaneously, scurrying over to the two of them.

"KARL!" You desperately held his arm, hoping for any sort of response from the unconscious boy. The sick feeling on your stomach was not helping either.

"He's breathing! Karl!" Sapnap shouted, struggling to wake Karl up. Nothing.

'No, please, not now,' Your heart ached badly.

Amidst the despair building up inside of you, your blurry eyes caught a glimpse of Karl's eyelids fluttering open weakly.

"KARL!—"

Alex stammered loudly, bringing Karl closer to his embrace.

No words could leave your throat as you felt the rush of relief through your body. With the slight amount of strength left in your body, you buried your face on Karl's shoulder, quietly sobbing as your clutch on his shirt grew tighter than before.

Why do these horrid things keep on happening to the four of you?

Nothing but a soft groan was all he could let out from his throat.

"Karl! Are you okay? What the hell happened?" Sapnap's voice was filled with concern, his gaze never leaving Karl's.

The three of you desperately looked at Karl, waiting for any kind of response from him.

Something about him seems odd to you,

"Karl?" You whimpered out softly, the other two still desperately waiting for any kind of response from the dazed boy.

"W-Who,"

"I-I'm sorry, but w-who are you guys?"

You felt a stung on your heart.

Amidst the terrifying silence, Alex chuckled out nervous laughter. "W-What do you mean who?" A hint of worry could be heard from Alex's cracked voice.

The tone in Karl's voice— it's not a tone of someone who is lying,

"I-I don't recognize any of you."

A sentence has never caused you such immense pain before.

[angstywishes]

I would love to hammer nails into the joints of Beau's fingers :) see how he patches himself up afterwards

NEMII I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER (っ >Д <;)っ i hope this was worth the wait OTL

BUT considering your fingers have a lot of nerve endings since they're our main feelers, getting stabbed in your fingers hurts so very much. if you hammered the nails in, he'd probably injure himself as well, biting down on his lip so hard. i'll put a fic under the cut for them patching themself up for you, and since you had to wait so long i went ahead and made it special!!

(CW: fingore, excessive bleeding, implied brief captivity(? it's kind of a saw situation))

He can still hardly believe it. That someone would do something like this.

The worst part is, Beau doesn’t even know why. Normally, someone would tell him what he’s done. Some reason he deserves it. But there isn’t a reason.

His hand is just fucking mangled. Totally and irrevocably. He’s completely alone in the room, and he’s so fucking scared to even try to fix it.

His gut churns just looking at it, and he wants to scream all over again. He feels like he’s still screaming, his throat is so, so raw. His lip is chewed through and bleeding down his chin.

And they can’t figure out why.

The nails are driven in deep, pinning his hand to the table. The hammer is still sitting next to it, and he realizes. He knows.

The reason is suffering. For the sake of suffering. He looks around, warily, wondering if he’s being watched. He can’t think of another purpose, for this room, this table, this hammer being within reach. It’s the only explanation.

Someone out there wants to see him do this. And that terrifies him.

Shakily, they pick up the tool, drawing in a deep breath.

It’s not like he has much choice, after all. He has to escape.

He can hardly even line it up properly with the nail, fuck, god, he just can’t, he can’t do this — It hooks, and he bites down on his blistered lip and pulls.

His vision goes white for a moment, and all he can think about is how much it hurt going in. It hurts so much more coming out, somehow.

He waits for the throbbing, pulsing pain to subside, and looks down at his hand.

The nail has hardly budged.

Beau just wants to cry, and never stop crying.

He can’t do this. It’s impossible. It’s sick.

But, somewhere in his mind, he knows that even if there’s no reason for this, it’s what he deserves. This blinding, agonizing pain, given to him for nothing, is what he’s earned.

Eyes watering, he hooks the hammer in again, and continues to pull.

—

It takes.. Hours. By the end of it all, they’re a wreck, cradling their hand and sobbing weakly. Their hair is plastered to their neck with sweat, and the table is just covered in blood. So much blood.

They could get up, but they’re so exhausted, and so afraid of moving. Afraid that their hand will just fall apart, somehow. But he has to stand eventually.

It’s only then he notices the box by his feet. Slowly, he pushes out the chair, careful to keep his hand still, and sets his eyes on the rudimentary first-aid kit laying there.

“F-fucking hell,” he wheezes hoarsely, looking around the room again. This is sick, it’s so sick.

Carefully, slowly, he picks up the box. It won’t be enough. He’ll have to go to the hospital. But there’s no way in hell he’s leaving the room like this.

The kit is mostly empty, only containing gauze, tape, and splint sticks. He’ll have to make do. Like always.

“I hate this,” he mumbles to himself, “God, I hate this.”

So carefully, he moves his hand, whimpering involuntarily. The joints are just fucked, and still seeping blood. It’s dizzying, but he knows how much hands bleed.

Gingerly, he wraps all the digits in gauze, watching the white fabric swiftly turn red and damp. He presses a splint stick onto one, wincing at the pressure.

Just a little more of this, and they can leave. Just a little more.

The splints placed, they wrap the whole thing in tape, trying not to think about how much it all hurts, trying not to think about how they’re ever going to heal.

“Are we done here?” He asks no one, voice breaking. “A-are you happy?”

From somewhere in the room, he hears a lock click open.

[sobyrt22]

To Jonghyun 🌙

A small collection of my Blue Night memories ✨

I remember setting a daily alarm every single morning to catch your Blue Night Radio. I didn't understand what you talked about but you were always such a source of comfort for me. Just hearing your voice was healing. It was a beautiful way to start my days. I miss it so much...

Afterwards, I would visit fan accounts like @cosmicsticks on twitter that would translate your words. Of course, because everything about you was poetry, I was always so impressed with you and the topics you discussed. Your point of view was always something that left me in awe of you. Always so kind, funny, passionate and loving. It was always the right thing I needed to hear.

I remember hearing Skeleton Flower be revealed for the first time on Blue Night and it taking me way too many seconds to realize it was YOU and not some other artist that sounded a lot like you lol. I didn't often hear you play your own songs so I wasn't expecting to hear one of them, especially one I didn't recognize. I found a soundcloud link that same day because I just had to listen to it again! (and again and again). To this day, Skeleton Flower is still one of my top 3 favorite songs from you 🌸

I remember on June 3rd, 2014, you played Jinki's OST "Moonlight" and at the time I thought "Aww cool! Random, but cool", only to find out 7 days later that on June 3rd, Jinki was having vocal cord surgery and you had played his song in solidarity. And of course tears ensued on my end lol

I remember when it was your last day as dj on Blue Night and it was a viewable radio. Those were always my favorite days. You were getting emotional like was to be expected since Blue Night meant a lot to you. As you were getting choked up, the one and only Choi Minho showed up, as he always did, to surprise you as a parting gift and surprise guest. Of course, your mood went from gloomy to super happy. Again, I cried (I'm good at that OTL).

I remember a lot of things and still not enough. I'm terrified of forgetting even one little detail. I guess I was probably half asleep most of the time though haha. I'm grateful to the shawol community who keeps "Jonghyun on this day" or "Jonghyun/SHINee archive" accounts going.

For shawols, you're our spring, our poet, our artist, our dj, our candle enthusiast, our vocal king, our musician, our Roo fan account, Taemin's fanclub president, our ACE plagarizer, our phone law expert, our internet troll fighter, our colorful Listerine suit guy, our shoe insole unfairness rep, our ambidextrous king, our inter-label collaborator, our tv show host roaster, our twitter guy, our equality activist, our author, our inspiration, our angel, our moon.

I want you to know that I think of you always. Your birth will always be celebrated.

Thank you for all the words you left behind.

"Because of you, my eternity is warm".

Happy birthday Kim Jonghyun 🤍

Reposted from my twitter

[kijobaby]

1, 2, 10, and 11 for you know whoooooo~ ;3c

oh boy here we go its obviously about Envy--

For the social self ship asks ~ Thanks Peyton :))))

1.) what’s something you wish you could tell your f/o? I know I'm rough with you. I know the way I speak is like wildfire, but all is fair in love and war, and you're pretty good at firing back. It's a habit, I know, and I don't think either of us can help it. I've got a sharp tongue. You're welcome to come chase it.

If it counts for anything, I never really mean what I say. It just frightens me sometimes cause I don't think anyone can understand the worst parts of me better than you can. You see me in all of my vulnerability and thats unfortunately when the teeth come out. You see another person who is just as terrified of abandonment, just as desperate to feel a connection with another creature, someone else who wakes up every day wanting a family to call their own -- I know how you feel when it seems like everyone around you can hold each other gently and you're stuck looking at your own two hands like, "why do I break everything I touch?" and its a trait of yourself that you hate so much that anytime someone comes close it's like they're touching your metaphorical wounds and god, it fucking hurts but you just can't stop. And thats how you and I came to be. I think we both just like poking and prodding each others abscess until we're staring at each other and bleeding out all over the floor. But if you're not afraid to get your hands dirty, maybe we can pull out the spades and dig up this fucked up garden we've accidentally planted and bury all the bloody, bruised up parts of us in it instead. We don't have to be made up of wilted flowers. We can be a lot more.

2) does your f/o have a specific speech pattern?

Not really. They're rather animated when they talk, and I do love how rough their voice is. Just.. Hnnn.....

10) does your f/o prefer more verbal or nonverbal expressions when it comes to sharing their feelings (especially toward you)? what about you?

Hm. I'm not really sure, actually. I think Envy tends to oscillate between physical affection and then just screaming proclamations of their feelings at me, lol. As for me, I'm better with pen and paper than I am verbal expression myself, so I tend to rely on physical affection and displays of love with them. ( still working on not being a stuttering panicking mess lol )

11) does your f/o tend to tell you everything that’s on their mind, or do they tend to hold things back? what about you?

Yeah I don't think they ever shut up Envy is absolutely the type that just... Has a one way road from their brain to their mouth, lmao. If they're thinking it, it just comes out of them. I'm... A pretty straightforward person, I'd say, so thats why we tend to be a rather explosive mess otl;;;

[lumilasi]

I haven't read Reanimate, but I'm curious as to why you grew to hate the original take on it so much, to the point you chose to revamp it? What things did you change then? Most authors I know wouldn't necessarily bother doing such a big rewrite(?) So I'm also curious why you chose to go ahead anyway. I hope my questions aren't bothersome or anything, I'm just curious like said! Keep up the good work!

Ah, I guess it might be a bit unusual for somebody to re-write parts of a fic so much while not completely starting from scratch? Especially fic that is already some years old. (or maybe it does happen commonly, IDK honestly haha)

Well, the main reason why I chose to revamp the second half of the fic instead of maybe rewriting the whole thing, was because the first half was totally fine for me. It was just the league parts I disliked, and the same time I still really loved Reanimate's story as a whole, hence I ended up doing a partial revamp instead of full rewrite. (also I guess I had a lot of time in my hands at the time heh)

(Also that fic was my first ever on the fandom meaning it's nostalgic, and served as an origin story for my favorite bnha oc's, so I wanted to make sure I was happy with it)

But yeah, to go more into detail about why I disliked the league portrayal, as well as what I did with my character in the story (this is gonna be a long explanation so please bear with me lmao) ;

Tomura's portayal felt too much like being stuck in his first impression, when timing vise he should already have matured quite a bit

His interactions with the league, albeit kinda funny, also felt too OOC at this point. He was acting too childish for what I wanted/the point in time the fic takes place at

Basically I felt he was too much of a manchild when at this point in time he's already matured quite a bit in canon (and some more in the fic au given it's timed some years AFTER canonical timeline)

In Kain's case, I kinda got too stuck on his source of inspiration (a horror game villain) and made him too one-dimensional and creepy from what I really wanted to do. He's very stoic and cold yes, but not THAT level of psychotic.

I basically felt Kain needed more nuance and humanity, because including an oc in a fic was ALREADY kind of tricky, so I wanted to make absolutely sure I actually liked what I wrote with them, and that it's of good enough quality to not feel too jarring and out-of-place among the canonical characters. (of course how well I managed to do that is up to the reader)

Kain's original take didn't really work for how I wanted it to affect the civilian Tenko. He was too, well, monstrous/felt nonhuman even as a kid for what I really needed. I needed him to be somebody Tenko could kinda sympathize with/someone who could sympathize with Tenko. My original take kinda failed miserably at that OTL

To go back to Shigaraki, he was also being too harsh/mean to his friends. Basically everything about his portrayal lowkey sucked for me lmao

As for more detail about the changes...well there's too much to describe, but for Tomura and others the biggest change was with their interactions; Tomura is still jumpy and snarky, but less so. Also while his friends do goof around and tease him like in the original, they turn serious as soon as he leaves, discussing and mulling over why he's acting so strange. Tomura also has picked up on the fact he feels "off" in some way, and wonders why he's acting so freaked out all the time/seems to struggle to think straight. (the reason for this is part of the revised plot)

There are two significantly changed scenes in mind though that I could mention, as they have a big impact on the narrative in a way;

First one is the flashback Tenko has about his time kidnapped by Kain's dad. The moment where Kain ends up killing bunch of people working (unwillingly) for his father. In original version Kain kills them on purpose, because their terrified/traumatized thoughts were causing him mental strain. While this latter is still the case, in the new take on the scene Kain does it accidentally, as he loses control of his quirk. This change was highly important IMO, because it shows better why Tenko might've sympathized with him, and tried to convince Kain to come with him and All Might later when Tenko was being rescued. It also better establishes that Kain's not some inhuman evil/creepy horror villain, but more typical origin story for a BNHA villain. Basically what I originally wanted out of his character, but failed to do lmao

Second one is at the end, when the league are taking their leave. This deals more with the foreshadowing for Reclaimed, but basically in the original Tenko gives bad Dabs something to use potentially to take Kain down if he plots something. Given I completely changed my mind about his potential role in the follow-up story later, the new version of the scene has Tenko telling bad Dabs to consider if AFO really has his student's wellbeing in mind. (this will be relevant later in reclaimed as one of the things pushing Dabi to question Tomura about this, and eventually having an effect on Tomura as well, further helping him break free from AFO's mental influence)

Sooo...yeah. I know this is a long-winded explanation, but I couldn't really explain this in simpler terms as the reasoning was quite complicated in a way? I just felt like it could be better with just some minor tweaks, instead of needing to rewrite it completely, and it bothered me too much to not do anything about it lmao. I hope this did satisfy your curiosity about this whole deal and didn't confuse you too much!

(Side note: I probably won't bother doing anything like this with any other fic of mine ever again, the closest I could consider is Soul Duality, but the issue with that is I can't pinpoint exactly what my issue with it is. It just feels like something that has potential and good parts, but ended up kind of messy somehow.)

[impossible-rat-babies]

34 for any pairing (I'm at work and can't look to see who you have paired with who oTL)

34. diaries | [prompts] | 1096 words

whc | mason + nb!detective | brief book 3 demo spoilers!

--

Mason hates the big city.

The sounds of the thousands of cars and their incessant beeping horns grates against his eardrums and he tastes the soot from the exhaust on the back of his tongue. He still does even though it’s been almost an hour of sitting in some bland therapists office waiting room, running his tongue over his teeth and counting the ceiling tiles.

Its the sharp sting of antiseptic crawling up his nose now, accented by the shitty wax melt fragrance put out to make the therapists office more “homey” or perhaps “more inviting” to the clients. It only helps with the riot of a headache pounding in his temples and he closes his eyes, heaving a sigh out of his nose.

He had agreed to go with Pollux--agreed, not been asked (or ordered) by Ava to go with him. He had actually wanted to go, stupidly enough. Sit in a car with Pollux for an hour, listening to his music and offhanded sing alongs, and parade through the city. A wonderful choice, one he doesn’t quite understand why he made.

Ordinarily it would be out of Unit Bravos purview to go along with the Detective on personal business, but with the trapper bounty out they can’t afford to not be careful. If something happened and none of them were there to stop it or to help out...Pollux thinks he capable enough and most trappers are indeed merely humans (and mason has seen what pollux can do to a man in his way) but there’s more than just humans who know about the bounty. None of them are eager to find out what would happen if Pollux did get caught by Trappers.

Mason knows--knows very well what would happen--and roughly pushes the thought out of his mind. He slumps further in the seat, arms crossed and freezing hands shoved into his armpits. Another thing he hates about doctors offices: it isn’t even summer and the AC is blasting like it’s a heat wave. He can hardly feel his hands. He fidgets in the seat, looking over at the door Pollux had passed through just over an hour ago. There’s dull voices on the other side, other people who have passed through the waiting room not long after Pollux had disappeared past the door.

Pollux only talked briefly about his visits to the big city like this--explanations months ago when Murphy was still stalking around and Unit Bravo needed to know Pollux’s schedule. They had been small affairs in notebooks and diaries, visits only twice a month and they had been deemed safe enough that he didn’t need someone to go along with him at the time. He hadn’t talked about the reason for the visits, cagey on it as he had been with most private matters on his schedule. (It had been like pulling teeth to get him to show them his schedules.)

It wasn’t until after Murphy that the visits had gone back to once a week, with other matters labeled “group” added to the repertoire.

Mason had heard the aftermath of the fight between Pollux and Rebecca on the matter. Pollux had grumbled between curse words over how he wasn’t going to see some special Agency therapist he didn’t trust when he still had the same one he had been seeing since he got clean. It didn’t matter the how of what had happened, only how it made him feel.

And Unit Bravo had gotten a good taste of how it had to feel.

The door squeaks open, pushing memories of screaming nightmares down without Mason even trying and he looks up.

“You remember that you have group next Thursday?” The therapist says, pausing Pollux before he runs off.

“Yes. You still want me to go?”

“I think you should. If nothing else it would be nice to see the others, see how things are going with them. They ask about you sometimes.”

A sigh “I’ll be there, put me down.”

A smile and a squeeze of the shoulder. “Have a good day, Pollux.”

Mason stands and wanders over to Pollux as he approaches the counter, only half listening as Pollux settles any brief outstanding business. Mason catches the the receptionist giving him a look over and she quickly looks away, the tips of her ears turning a bright red and her heart skips a beat. Hardly a reaction Mason isn’t used to, but he looks away and back down at Pollux. At least people are predictable in how they grate on his nerves.

He watches Pollux quick sign a page or two before and he hands the clipboard back, tacking on a forced smile and a clipped thank you and goodbye.

“Ready?” Pollux asks and Mason nods, shepherding him on with a hand at the small of his back. Pollux leans in closer towards him, shoulder brushing against him.

“You alright, sweetheart?” Mason asks as they step out onto the street, pausing for a moment so he can light up a much needed cigarette.

“Peachy...” He grumbles and that’s a lie he isn’t even bothering to hide. Mason knows the hunch of his shoulders, body held tight and the off color redness tinging the grey circles under his eyes. He’s seen it before and Pollux sniffles, tucking his hands deep into his pockets.

An admission, quietly when it had just been the two of them; Pollux had felt like talking, and Mason had time to listen.

It didn’t always make him feel better, going to therapy. It made him feel like utter shit more often than not, especially after Murphy. How was he supposed to talk about how he’d been scared--terrified--out of his mind by what had happened? How was he supposed to make sense out of madness of Murphy, his words still crawling around inside of his head like a maggot worming around under the skin?

There’s nothing to make sense of it and Mason’s stomach churns.

Smoke billows out of Mason’s mouth in a long stream and he sighs, shelving away the question of why it makes his stomach churn. “You ready to get out of this dump, sweetheart?”

Pollux looks up him, grey eyes matching the gloomy sky above and he nods, slowly. The littlest tell that he’ll be alright--a hint of a smile curling the corners of his lips.

“Yeah...let’s go sunshine.” Mason manages something like half a smile back at him, wrapping his arm around Pollux’s shoulder and he leans against him, arm snaking around his waist and he gently squeezes him close.

[disarmingly]

Hello again, love!! it's been so long and I'm sorry. Im terrible at keeping up with things and I never seemed to be able to have the chance to reach you. I'm so sorry I disappeared I never meant to but I've been so tired. I hope you've been doing alright. The new year is here and this one is the most crucial academic wise. It's another real big challenging and unbelievably terrifying national exams. I can't help but feel like the last one I took was too soon and too long ago at the same time (1)

Its so ridiculously stressful and draining here in a country where academics are so packed and important and I feel so tired. So the new year began and I hope it's been doing you well. Doing you better. You deserve it. I've been aching so much lately in ways and I couldn't help but reread your stories and when I got to This Time Around I cried (2)

It's a beautiful story it really is. And all that about love and life and even more love gets me everytime. I want to believe. I don't know if all this terrible feelings on my end will end up reaching you somehow with these asks. I don't want it to. Weariness and aches and emptiness are terrible things and I never wish you to have them. I just want you to know that it's hard here and I'm so tired. But despite everything I want to believe and there's nothing more comforting than your stories (3)

Someone real great and awesome wrote you a thing!!! Im so happy and it was such a swell read too. I wish to do something like it for you too one day. I don't have a lot to give but just know that you're real sweet haku and your stories are my comfort stories. There's always more room for love in the world and im glad I got to find you. I'll probably disappear again but I'll come back. I'll always come back I think. (4)

Oh jesus all my thoughts are such messes i hope they went across proper. Have a good day love. And a happy new year. The worlds your oyster and time is just a malleable illusion. I hope you're doing good, doing better. No rush to reply, I understand too much what it's like to fall out of communication. You don't even have to if you wish so. All I want is for it to reach you. You give me strength and I can only hope I return the favour. Stay healthy! 💕splendid-anon

     dear splendid anon, i’ve been pretty scarce in continued efforts to not burden people unnecessarily. i think it’s a harder thing ebcause i have TIME here even if only a moment and the danger of over sharing is that much greater for me, whereas w twitter i just type out something and then delete it before i even send it ^^;; ahh i’m sorry though. i wish i had a story for you now. i’ve been on the fading side. it’s very strange i still feel like i have so much i want to say. but maybe no way to say it. anyway. i wanted to at least convey my gratitude. it still is mind boggling to me that anyone reads my stories or even rereads them or gets anything out of them. especially This Time Around / Time and Again which is so close to my heart but doesn’t seem to have reached as many as i would like though that’s likely my fault for unpolished skill ^^;;; trying to encapsulate big ideas OTL......it means a lot to me that you reread it, that it made you feel things.....i mean,  it’s the truest gift and for that i am lucky, and i tell myself this every day even though nothing has been mostly okay for a long time now. i appreciate these outreaches, these sharings of strengths you send even though you yourself are tired and worried and stressed. i only feel bad that i can’t do something proper to thank you. i really do only wish you the best always. and if any part of any string of words i ever put together might be useful to you, that’s a form of love to me, and i’m grateful for that too. thank you for always being so kind and so generous with that kindness. it’s more than i deserve. i’ll try to keep working to deserve it. i;m sorry im so scattered.   take care always