#But I still don't know how to get to that fkn solution

[zarafey]

Anyone possibly know how to do a methaanalysis? I mean I sure as hell have no idea what do to with the data my professor sent me because he never actually got around to showing us wtf to do with it and how to use that damned statistics software.

[do-you-have-a-flag]

(genuine question) Would you mind explaining what the problem is with selling human bones? I'd never really thought about it before your fact check on that airbnb disinfo post started circulating and I'd love to hear your thoughts.

I could see it being a matter of respect or consent in general, commodifying bodies of POC specifically, but I don't know anything about the industry, where these bones come from, or what the major ethical issues are. I don't really understand what's different there vs. what I consider generally accepted disturbance of human remains like in archaeology.

Oh sure, keep in mind that I am not an expert! and I'm talking about a western capitalist context for the treatment of human remains and therefore don't have any say in (for example) cultures where the treatment of the dead is different, i have not education or right to comment on that.

to repost what i later replied to the post with:

actually i'm not done, the following are about a different bone seller from the last couple years but it goes over the ethical issues around sourcing human remains

the short version is: historically and in the modern day much of the human bone trade comes from exploitation of slaves and people in lower castes and so on to the point where even if it is a retired medical model or something inherited it is most likely to be remains acquired without consent of the deceased or their families. Repatriation where possible is the most ethical solution. We do not live in the ideal world where every human skull on the market is like that guy who donated his body to science and became yorick in Hamlet for the royal shakespeare comany. acknowledging the long history of grave robbing, racism, and exploitation in the medical industry and coming to grips with the same disregard of autonomy in death and disrespect in the modern bone trade is all i'm trying to draw attention to.

use artificial replicas in your decor! or try to find animal remains that are sold from roadkill and other natural causes! you can be macabre without [gestures vaguely at the above]

so in a context of people selling human remains to use as decor for profit, that in itself would be less of a morally weird thing to do if the deceased had in any way intended that for their remains (theoretically i'm sure some people would find the concept very cool) but that's just not the reality of these remains. It is very difficult to legally chose how you wish your body to be handled after death if it diverges from the norm, I would point to ask a mortician's video about human composting to show how recent (december 2022) something like that was legalised.

The reality is it is not a market with ethical procurement, the closest it gets is being a primarily second hand market. But the sourcing issue still remains

and the topic of when something goes from archaeology to tampering with the dead is a controversial one but if you want my opinion on that then i would point precedents like the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act, or to this news story

To be clear, i am not anti archaeology or against a celebratory fascination with the morbid. I am very much for demystifying the process of death. But i think that there is too much pain and exploitation and dehumanisation and objectification and commodification of people throughout history and into the modern day. We do not have the ideal reality of all human remains in circulation being willing donations. I am personally for an active process of removing remains from a commercial market, identifying their origins, and repatriation and burial where possible.

obviously exploitation will always happen, legally or not, but while i may personally feel like personhood ceases post mortem i also believe in the autonomy of the living over their own remains (whatever that might mean) and that people don't deserve to see their ancestors and kin commodified in death.

and remember that legally and widely accepted things are not always ethical.

[fairycosmos]

I don't think I can live in this family any longer. My older sister is emotionally abusing the hell out of me and I don't know what to do about it. she's wrecked me. My parents do realize but she doesn't change her behaviour and blames me instead. She never apoligizes. she humiliates me in front of others. I'm afraid of her, I hate her, I can't do anything right when I'm around her. I never want to talk to her or see her again. what do I fucking do? does anyone have similar experiences?

god, i’m so fucking sorry you have to deal with that, holy shit. you’re definitely not the only person who has had to live with an abusive figure - a lot of people can relate to that, a lot of people have survived that and you are genuinely not alone. the fact that your parents aren’t stepping up and doing something about it is crazy and completely unacceptable. i think that the fact that you’ve handled this for so long and that you’ve managed to get through it speaks volumes about the strength of your character and the type of person you are, seriously. i’m assuming you’re too young to move out, and if there’s no other family members that you’re able to go and live with, then the only option is to distance yourself from the house and your sister as much as you’re able to. i know it’s not the perfect solution, and i know it’s not ideal, but it’s still not a hopeless situation and you’re still going to get through it, i promise. try to spend the least amount of time around your house and your sister as you can - take long walks, find places that bring you peace (libraries, parks, cafes), stay out late with friends, maybe even join a club or something at school so you can spend more time there. don’t let your sister in your personal bubble anymore. she’s not worth it. i get that it feels like a lot of effort, but you shouldn’t have to remain in an uncomfortable environment for any longer than you’re required to, you know? that’s really what it comes down to. also, try to stop engaging with your sister all together. when you see her or whenever she talks to you, tune her out, look straight through her and show her that you don’t care. at this point, what she thinks doesn’t matter bc it’s all coming from a bitter place of negativity and resentment, so don’t give her actions the power to impact you or get in your head anymore. she doesn’t matter, and eventually she’s not even going to be a part of your life so even if you have to force yourself to, just keep ignoring her. i get that it hurts, and that she’s your sister so you’re naturally going to crave a better relationship w her, but there comes a point where you just have to stop and tell yourself that enough is enough. you don’t need to deal w her bullshit anymore. you don’t need to be scared of her, or annoyed by her, or embarrassed by her - she’s nothing.

look, i don’t know why she’s chosen to treat you like this and i don’t know why she thinks she has the right to, but please know that her actions and words are always a reflection of her, and never of you. it’s not your fault. she sounds like a fkn bad person and how she chooses to act is completely out of your hands, but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. exercise the control you do have by doing what’s right for yourself and your own happiness, okay? and keep complaining to your parents about it, keep letting them know that it’s not okay and don’t let her bully you into complete silence. try to convince them to partake in some sort of family therapy, or form of punishment for your sister when she does something shitty. detaching yourself from the situation and from her poisonous attitude doesn’t mean you have to stop telling your parents what’s going on. i know it’s all a lot easier said than done, but until you’re old enough to move out or until the opportunity arises, the best way to handle it is to disconnect from it as much as you physically can, unless your family starts to accept that things need to change. and even when your mind is telling you that you can’t keep going, that you can’t deal w it anymore, take a deep breath and try to realize that you can. every moment that you get through is an achievement, and it brings you one step closer to a better future - one that doesn’t hold your abusive sister or any of that shit. there will come a day when you’re going to be able to live your life freely and on your own terms and you’re going to be so much happier than you can even comprehend right now, so don’t let her take that away from you. even if the current circumstances feel like the most permanent thing in the world, they’re not. what you’ve experienced so far is only a very small percentage of your life, and there’s still so much to come that will make getting through all of this crap feel worth it. i promise. you’re so much stronger than you think you are, dude. i’m going to leave some links that might offer additional guidance and advice bc like i said, a lot of people can relate to what you’re going through and there is a lot of support out there, even if it doesn’t feel that way rn. also, i’m always here if you need someone to talk to - just message me.

http://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/975519/how-to-deal-with-bullies-and-abusive-family-members

https://www.dumblittleman.com/how-to-overcome-emotional-abuse/

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/abuse-and-addiction/understanding-emotional-abuse/healing-the-wounds-of-emotional-abuse

https://www.mentalhelp.net/advice/abusive-older-sister/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/growing-friendships/201512/sibling-abuse-and-bullying