#But Elbert's route effected me a lot more than I thought it would and I don't think anything's ever made me feel like that

[sunshine-and-her-ikevil-stuff]

I fear that Alfons's route will be just as emotionally taxing as Elbert's and I'll miss using my tickets in time just like I did in Elbert's route because my brain's had enough emotions and miss finishing the mission board again

[scummy-writes]

I'm sharing some thoughts that may be skewed by misremembering some things.

It's been a while since I played Elbert's route, so anticipate some details I may mess up, but it's sad to me that his route was ... I don't know, a bit bland?

For Ikevil, I have only played 3 out of the 4 available routes, and while William's felt like an outlier, the darkest thing is the trauma. The love explored is pretty...Normal.. Which isn't bad, honestly, I think I just inadvertently keep having my expectations a bit high for a game labeled 'villains' when a majority of these guys are just traumatized and 'villains' because of things out of their control (curses, job situation) and needing more of a support network. (does this make sense? no, i dont think it does, i think I sound insane) It's highly possible Harrison's plays out more like I would want and i just haven't read it yet.

Elbert's trauma was handled decently, I think. There were many times during his route that I was emotional, I was sad! I felt bad for him! The reveal of his childhood was not unexpected due to how others treated him as an adult and some other issues he showed in previous events and similar, but the reveal of how his curse affected his parents was a surprise. And it was dark ! The love was a bit abnormal.... but everything still managed to be a bit bland at the end. We get a random plot with his butler or whatever just shoved in, similar to how Hooke was in Isaac's. And while I think this trauma was very important to explore due to how much that type of trauma would effect someone in many, many, many, many ways, somehow the story just felt ....bland....outside of the trauma. I think the butler would be violent, would be upset, and would be underhanded because elbert is being 'taken away', but it felt a bit cartoonishly handled in that aspect. While I have no doubt he would do that, the writing for those things happening just felt poorly and a bit shoved in.

Maybe that is why I disliked it, things were fine, we needed an explanation for a lot of things, but then we get writing thats like "oh uh we can't focus on these two plots so much, throw in the butler/servants going batshit really hastily" even though it was seemingly never an issue the whole time elbert was at crown? they didn't get their elbert fix that often after crown stuff but after Kate comes in *then* they try and kill the new person immediately? Maybe Elbert came home more often? It's just. I don't know, I can see all these things happening with the servants and butler, but it's also just tipping into a bit too ridiculous to me with how they build it up and then it's handled so briefly at the end. I don't even remember if Elbert reacted much after killing him, which is something that should have been explored if they were going to introduce him. am I just misremembering that? That would be such a major confliction for elbert, like Hooke was for Isaac for a bit (but with elbert it would be 10x more amplified), because...dude there was his abuser! one of them! now they're dead and he's just going to walk it off? No!!! Ugh. I think I inadvertently figured out why i ended up being disappointed by his route through typing this. I thought it was due to being an early route but...

I'm disabling reblogs because while I don't mind a discussion on this, I haven't talked about ikevil much and i am vaguely worried my misremembering will be commented on harshly rather than calmly (paranoia of some other people I've seen/ran into in other fandoms). Feel free to comment.

[sunshine-and-her-ikevil-stuff]

Sometimes I wonder how different the routes would turn out if I was plopped in the situation rather than having to live it through the designated MC.

(Rambling under cut)

(Spoiler for Liam's route)

Like with Liam's route for example, I would have said that one line that helps him a bit a lot sooner. Probably because "You don't have to smile if you're not happy, it's kind to others but not you" stuck in my brain and has been stuck since then.

But at the same time I feel like our relationship could have potentially been a lot more toxic because in the middle it and of all the complicated, stressful feelings I had the thought, "Your brain is mean to you, let me do all the thinking." Which is not healthy. The stress was getting to me.

Of course if I did that I would have wanted to just help him and get his mind to a good place so I wouldn't have to think for him anymore. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions and in reality it would probably not be that smooth and he might become too dependent on me. And of course maybe I wouldn't have acted on that thought.

Tho I really hope that I actually would have a good, healthy relationship with him if I were in the Ikevil world.

(Spoiler for Elbert's route)

And in Elbert's route I probably would have followed Alfons's advice a little more, but I would have still wanted to protect Elbert. So I would have essentially tried to act as his bodyguard while keeping a distance and keep everyone from touching him with no regard for if I'm seen as a villain for it. And probably would have acted a little bit more cold, silent, and focused than usual while in bodyguard mode.

Then again I'm not as romantically attracted to Elbert, but seeing that event in chapter 10 would have effected me enough that I would forget about any romantic or sexual feelings and feel bad for wanting to touch him before and become entirely focused on protecting him without him pushing me away.

And I wouldn't have fallen for William or Harrison. I would have taken the character development of being true to myself and to what I want from Will and left it at that. Just stayed vaguely friends. And in Harrison's route I would have straight up refused to interact with him with how he was acting because I ain't playing no games. But then again being on their route implies I'd want to be romantically involved, which I don't for them, so what I would do in these routes probably doesn't apply to the conversation.

But yeah just wondering