#Bruce today because it's my birthday today and that makes it a SPRINGSTEEN DAY

[foxinthemiddle]

Bruce Springsteen, performing Stayin’ Alive Live in Brisbane, 2014

Barry Gibb was so moved by that, he would later return the favour in singing Springsteen’s “I’m On Fire” live on stage during his Mythology tour.

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

Pairing: MusicProducer!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Rating/Warning(s): PG-13; Alcohol Consumption, Fluff

Word Count: 2,037

Synopsis: Reader gets asked what is the most romantic thing she could dream of Bucky doing for them, Bucky pulls out all the stops with the help of their friends.

Info: This goes out to @imerdwarf who inspired this little work. One of my all time favorite songs and videos growing up was Take On Me by a-ha. I knew this had to be written. Thank you @jacobs-pup for some help! The dividers are provided by @firefly-graphics. Sorry this was written on my phone, and posted from my phone I cannot add not read more. (Laptop is broken.) I hope you enjoy this!

*Моя Маленькая звезда — My Little Star (according to google translation)*

Y/H/C = Your Hair Color

Taylor Swift's voice blared through the flat as the final coat of Berry Naughty was drying on Y/N’s fingers. Looking down at them, she was oblivious to Darcy, Wanda and Natasha talking with their eyes and sitting down at the coffee table around her, staring at her. Y/N was the topic of their non-existent conversation and Natasha, clearly getting annoyed, rolled her eyes, got her phone out, setting it on the table and finally catching the other girl’s attention.

“Моя Маленькая звезда, now that we have your attention, we have a few questions for you.” Natasha smirked as she set down four shot glasses, starting to fill them with premium vodka. Y/N felt a chill run down her spine, both trying to recall anything she had done since the last girls night and whether she had anything to do tomorrow. When the vodka came out, the wills and ability to do anything the next day were impossible.

“Way to scare her. Is it not yours and Bucky’s four year anniversary on Friday?” Darcy made grabby hands for the first shot as she looked at Y/N, one eyebrow up with a smile on her face. Y/N laughed as she took her shot from Natasha, clinking with Wanda. She was worried for no reason. She quickly downed the shot and the burn was felt all the way down to her stomach.

“Yeah, four years, holy shit, can you guys believe it? It feels like just yesterday we were at the cafe, studying for finals, and he passed me that note asking me to be his girlfriend,” she sighed dreamily, leaning her head on the palm of her hand with a smile.

She had kept that very note in every wallet she’d owned so those days when things got hard, when they fought, or when she just needed a smile, it was there. That note was a reminder of Bucky’s love for her.

“He’s always been a sap, no?” Wanda started to pour more vodka into the shot glasses, lifting hers and clinking with Darcy as Natasha shook her no.

“My brother did not become a sap till he fell for Y/N, before that he was more of a laid and ditch 'em type.” Both Darcy and Y/N found their jaws dropping to the floor, before Natasha shrugged and motioned for them to take their shots. Y/N tapped her glass on the top of the table and leaned back, the burn hitting fast once again.

“Anyway. Y/N, what is something so romantic you wish would happen to you? Like, something that you’ve always dreamed about, but would never dare bring up to Bucky because you think he would laugh at you or just brush you off?” Wanda passed out mini cans of Ocean Spray cranberry juice along with candy bars, while maintaining eye contact with Y/H/C.

Biting her lip, a habit of her which she had been trying really hard to break, she sat there, thinking, trying to decide if she would admit her main desire or lie. Natasha could tell a lie from a mile away and Wanda had always been able to read her, so there was no use in lying.

“Okay, so you know I have a thing for 80’s music? Well I’ve always wanted to have Bucky pick up his acoustic guitar and sing Take On Me by a-ha, nothing could be more romantic than that. Extra points if he wears that leather jacket his mom got him for Christmas, because that just does things for me.” Y/N started to pour shots of vodka as blood rushed to her cheeks and her body heated up from all the attention on her. She was so focused on pouring shots she didn’t notice Natasha fiddling with her phone.

“Interesting, now do you think we should have something to eat? I’m thinking we should order a little bit of something from all our favorite places and have a smorgasbord.” Clinking her shot glass with Y/N’s, Natasha pulled it to her lips, knocking it back in one go. The girls didn’t ask her to elaborate, and it was like that girls night was back to being a girls night, gossiping, talking about TV shows and complaining about work.

*6 Day’s Later Bucky P.O.V.*

Bucky stepped back and looked around the living room, the stringed lights Darcy had provided from her and Steve’s wedding hung from the ceiling, providing mood lighting. Candles that Natasha had found were burning all throughout the apartment, reminding him of that day when he had asked Y/N out. Sitting on the back of the couch was the leather jacket his mother gave him for Christmas, waiting to be put on till last minute.

His palms were clammy from nerves. He needed things to go perfect, because the past four years he had with Y/N had been the best four years of his life. She loved him, supported his dreams of wanting to be a writer and music producer, encouraged him when times were hard, looked at him with adoration, and she never gave up on him. He loved Y/N so much, it ached the days they were apart when she was working in DC for Senator Potts as her personal assistant, but, when she came home, he felt whole. She made the days worth it, she made love worth it.

“Bucky, Darcy said she just dropped Y/N off.” Steve, Bucky’s best friend handed him his leather jacket, along with his acoustic guitar that Y/N had gifted him for this past birthday. She has gotten it signed by the music legend Bruce Springsteen, when he had done a charity show thrown by Senator Potts and her husband Tony. Needless to say he cherished this acoustic guitar greatly and showed it off to anyone who stopped by the apartment for the first time.

Steve took a seat at the piano that sat under the TV, leaving room for his best friend to sit beside him. Bucky strapped the acoustic to his body as he pulled the guitar pick from his jean pocket before he sat down, he let out a long breath. Never before was he so thankful for the elevator being broken in the apartment building than he was in that moment.

Bumping shoulders with his best friend, Steve pressed a few keys on the piano getting his attention. “You got this, don’t sweat it.” Bucky just nodded his head before moving his neck side to side, cracking it, making Natasha who stood in the corner of the room with her camera chuckle. Bucky out of reflex, showed his middle finger to his adopted sister, she stopped when they heard keys go into the lock of the door and the key chains rattle.

*Y/N’s P.O.V*

Y/N pulled her key out and threw it in her open purse as she grabbed her suitcase from the hallway, it had been a really long 3 days in D.C. helping Senator Potts with her speech, of the announcement for the run for president. Pushing the front door open, she called out to Bucky but soon noticed the lights were out, minus beautiful sets of string lights hanging from the ceiling. Immediately soft acoustic guitar was playing as she hung her purse up making her turn around in a rush, where she found Bucky sitting at the piano bench beside Steve, whose back was to her.

“Talking away. I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say it anyway. Today's another day to find you. Shyin' away. I'll be coming for your love, OK? And… Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two.” Y/N gasped immediately as she realized what Bucky was doing as she walked her way into the middle of the room.

“So needless to say. I'm odds and ends. But that's me, I'm stumbling away. Slowly learning that life is OK, and. Say after me. It's no better to be safe than sorry.” As Bucky serenaded Y/N, tears slowly started to weld up in her eyes.

“And… Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two.” As Steve took over playing his piano solo, Bucky stole a quick peck on the lips from Y/N before quickly sitting back down at the piano bench.

“And oh, things that you say. Is it life or just to play my worries away? You're all the things. I've got to remember. You're shyin' away. I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two. I'll be gone. In a day or two. In a day or two.” Ending the song with a smile on his face, Bucky looked Y/N in the eyes, who was looking straight back at him with adoration and a matching smile. Taking his acoustic guitar off, Bucky placed it behind as Y/N walked into his arms placing a kiss in his neck, breathing thank you to him.

When they eventually pulled apart Bucky wiped her tears, smiling at her as he got down on one knee. Y/N eyes starting to grow big, her hands again going over her jaw as she kept saying no over and over again.

“Bucky, are you kidding? This isn’t funny.” His hands reached up to grab Y/N’s from her face a dopey smile on his face the same one he gave her every morning they woke up beside each other, the same one he gave her when she made him a fresh cup of coffee, the same smile he gave her when she said I love you to him.

“Darling, it’s been four of the best years of my life, and I would like to think not just mine but ours. You make getting out of the bed in the morning not a chore, eating vegetables, worth it because I’ll live longer just to spend more time with you. You support my love for music and my career when some of my family had their doubts. It’s been an honor to watch you grow into one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met. So courageous, hard working, loving and charitable. I would be one lucky guy to get to spend the rest of my time with you, so I guess what I’m trying to get to is.” Bucky leaned on his left knee as he reached into the right front pocket of his jeans to pull out a ring box opening it up to show a beautiful sterling silver garnet ring.

“Y/N Y/L/N would you do the honor of spending the rest of our lives at my side whether it’s here in Brooklyn or Georgetown, I can’t picture it without you.” Y/N pulled Bucky up by the collar of the leather jacket she loved so much and kissed him on the lips. Natasha and Steve whooped at the couple making Bucky chuckle as they continued to kiss, tears of joy streaming from Y/N’s eyes. Bucky slipped the ring onto her ring finger as they pulled apart smiles on their faces.

“I would be honored to become Y/N Barnes. Who told you?” Y/N looked down at her ring then back at Bucky who motioned hand to his sister who stood to the far corner of the room holding the camera filming the engagement for their families. Natasha waved as Y/N laughed recalling the Saturday night where the girls had questioned her.

“You are right, the voice memo app really does come in handy.” Y/N laughed when she realized that Natasha had recorded the questioning and must have sent it to her boyfriend, now fiancé, to help plan this. Thanking her soon to be sister-in-law, Y/N turned to Steve and hugged him and thanked him for making her romantic dreams come to life.

Bucky pulled her back towards him and hugged her close to his body kissing the side of her face, “I love you, and I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”

[nocompromise-noregrets]

30 questions tag game

Thank you to the lovely @sleepy-santiago for the tag!

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 others

1. name - not getting an airing on here but if I tell you it's become a synonym for a woman of a certain age and disposition it'll probably be pretty clear XD (I am of that certain age but certainly not of that disposition and it is deeply annoying XDDD )

2. gender - female, or thereabouts. I'm sure if I was 20 years younger I'd be somewhere on the nonbinary spectrum, but I am old and tired and cannot be arsed doing the self-analysis. I've been female this long, it more or less works for me, I only subscribe to the bits that do work for me and the rest I don't much care about.

3. star sign - two fish swimming in opposite directions

4. height - 5'1" or thereabouts

5. time - 6.25pm

6. birthday - 13 March

7. favourite band - the utterly legendary Hanoi Rocks (but also a-ha, Empathy Test, VNV Nation, Vain, etc etc etc, I could go on all night)

8. favourite solo artist - Michael Monroe (Joan Jett, Bruce Springsteen...)

9. song stuck in my head - Welcome to Shitsville by the Wildhearts because it was the last thing I listened to before getting out of the car

10. last movie - About a quarter of Agent Barton's Super Secret Spy Adventure, or whatever the Bourne movie with Jeremy Renner in is called. I've seen it before but the missus had it on.

11. last tv show - die Nordstory, a very gentle German documentary series about all sorts of aspects of life in northern Germany

12. when i created this blog - March 2011, I believe

13. what do i post - mostly reblogs of LotR/Hobbit/Tolkien art and meta, my own fic, tag and ask memes sometimes

14. last thing i googled - the lyrics to Welcome to Shitsville because I couldn't remember the third line for the other meme I was tagged in :D

15. other blogs - nope, it all gets queued up on this one

16. do i get asks? - Very rarely but it's always nice when it happens!

17. following - 219

18. why i chose my url - it's a quote from a song by Hanoi Rocks which goes 'make no compromise, have no regrets', which, as words to live by go, are pretty good

19. lucky number - I have no idea, I don't think I've ever had one.

20. followers - 276. Good lord. :D

21. average hours of sleep - about 9 when I remember to go to bed early

22. instruments - Not any more, but I played piano (badly) as a kid, and flute and saxophone (a little less badly) in my teens. Haven't touched either in upwards of 25 years though.

23. what am i wearing - black jeans, black batwing top with grey vines and purple roses on the front (I've been in to work today, otherwise it'd have been either a band shirt and jeans or PJs :D )

24. dream job - I used to say I'm already doing it - I'm an archivist and it's been my dream job for 20 years, but I'm more or less beginning to feel as though I've done what I came here to do, or I will have done fairly soon, so I'm retraining as a translator. Freelance translation is my dream job for the second half of my career.

25. favourite food - I dunno. I'm a bit weird about food, I find it hard to think of this sort of thing, but I'll happily eat lots of things.

26. nationality - British. European. SIGH.

27. favourite song - Impossible to choose just one, but Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen is right up there, along with Another Girl, Another Planet by The Only Ones, and Empty Handed by Empathy Test. But I could go on all night.

28. last book i read - Oh god, it was last summer sometime, I've only read fic for months. I think it was the second in the Good Girl's Guide to Murder series by...I've forgotten her name. YA crime fiction, anyway.

29. top 3 universes i’d live in - Middle-Earth. Possibly Myn-Dhiel from Sarah Ash's Moths to a Flame, which I remembered the other day and must reread (I wrote fanfic for it before I even knew what fanfic was, back in the late 90s, which is sadly unfinished or I'd post it on AO3, not that there's a tag for that particular one of her books, but it's SO GOOD EVERYONE GO READ IT and then join me in writing pining starcrossed hopeless Lai/Ymarys fic XD ). Other than that I can't think of another one.

Is it just me or was that only 29 questions? :D

Tagging, with as always no pressure implied, @theresonlyzuul, @lemurious, @writerman, @angelic-kisses13, @potatoobsessed999, @bigneonglitter, @pikkuinen

[tabloidtoc]

OK, March 8

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Bruce Springsteen

Page 1: Big Pic -- as part of Coach's latest campaign Jennifer Lopez posed with a supersized pink version of their new Pillow Tabby purse

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Chris Harrison gone for good? The Bachelor host's future with the show remains uncertain after his controversial interview with Rachel Lindsay

Page 6: Since the start of his career Justin Timberlake has endured his fair share of scandals but after welcoming his second son with wife Jessica Biel over the summer and celebrating his 40th birthday, he is confessing that he feels immense guilt about the past and he won't be making the same mistakes in the future -- Justin's done some soul-searching and accepts that he's wronged a lot of people over the years with his own terrible mistakes and he says he's still a work in progress, but step one has been to stand up and admit he's hurt too many women -- in addition to a boozy night out with his Palmer costar Alisha Wainwright in 2019 and his part in the now-infamous Nipplegate incident with Janet Jackson at the 2004 Super Bowl, Justin recently came under fire again due to the documentary Framing Britney Spears which showed him exploiting his breakup from Britney Spears to help his solo career -- Justin's learned from his mistakes and has a lot more sensitivity about the impact of his actions on other people and that's the big difference between the Justin of today and his old, immature self and that self-awareness was evident in an emotional statement that he posted apologizing to both Britney and Janet for the errors in his ways -- his words drew praise from his wife Jessica who says he's come a long way as a husband, a father and more importantly, a human being

Page 7: Wendy Williams is on the prowl for a new man and he's got to be husband material and she is ready for a serious commitment -- Wendy's been staying up until all hours of the night checking out guys online and on exclusive dating apps and she wants someone age-appropriate, fun, kind, independent and of course has no history of cheating -- she's feeling very optimistic and even buying new perfume and clothes and jewelry for all the dates she hopes to have once lockdown lifts

* Texas native Matthew McConaughey is seriously considering throwing his hat in the ring to become the state's next governor -- he's been putting out feelers to see if he's got sufficient support and if enough donors are willing to write checks, he'd mount an aggressive run in 2022 -- he's already gotten the thumbs-up from his wife Camila Alves and their three kids -- at this point, he needs to see an actual path to winning because he's not interested in just making a protest statement; don't be fooled by his aw-shucks attitude, Matthew means business

* Now that Keeping Up With the Kardashians is coming to an end, the hunt is on for a new family to replace the clan and one reality pro is poised to nab the prize: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Rinna -- there's already been talk about Lisa picking up the torch and her family is camera ready, consisting of husband Harry Hamlin, and their daughters Delilah Hamlin who's dating Love Island's Eyal Booker and Amelia Hamlin who's dating Scott Disick

Page 8: Things keep going from bad to worse for Armie Hammer -- he was forced to drop out of his upcoming movie Shotgun Wedding with Jennifer Lopez after direct messages he allegedly sent to women in which he described himself as a cannibal and detailed disturbing sexual fantasies were leaked online -- Armie was also fired by his talent agency WME and now the disgraced star may get cut from his new film Next Goal Wins which has already been shot -- he's radioactive and everybody knows it and his completed but unreleased work is getting a second look as studios want to do damage control, and that includes another of his finished projects Death on the Nile where his part could end up on the cutting room floor -- he's a pariah now and it's hard to see how he's ever going to come back from this

* Jennifer Aniston has always had a spiritual side but these days she is taking things to a whole new plane -- Jen has surrounded herself with psychics and has been doing Goddess Circles with the same group of close friends for 30 years, but now she's taking courses to learn to heal herself and be her own guru -- BFF Courteney Cox has been a big influence and Jen's learned a lot from Courteney, who's had a long-term interest in mediums, astrologists and horoscopes, and she's trying to fuse it all together into her own brand of spirituality -- Jen's had a lot of time alone, which has only deepened her questions about the universe and how she can make the most of her life and she's determined to find the answers

* Princess Eugenie is over the moon after welcoming her first child, a baby boy with businessman husband Jack Brooksbank but now the new mom is torn about taking time out from her royal responsibilities -- Eugenie would love to take a long break from everything and focus solely on raising her son however she knows deep down how much she's needed, especially since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are showing no signs of coming back -- as she weighs her options, Eugenie is looking to her multi-tasking cousin-in-law Duchess Kate for some inspiration because she's impressed by how Kate is able to juggle her official duties while raising three young kids

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars captivate in enchanting puff-sleeve numbers -- Bel Powley, Aubrey Plaza, Lupita Nyong'o

Page 11: Kaitlyn Dever, Lucy Boynton, Margaret Qualley

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Hilary Swank vs. Madeline Brewer, Bella Hadid vs. Devon Windsor, Alison Brie vs. Dua Lipa

Page 14: News in Photos -- Tayshia Adams and her fiance Zac Clark felt on top of the world when the visited the Empire State Building together

Page 15: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were inseparable while out and about in Beverly Hills, Bill Murray and NFL player Larry Fitzgerald Jr. were among the many stars to shoot their shot during a charity golf tournament in Pebble Beach, Rita Ora performing on an episode of the U.K. show Dancing on Ice in Hertfordshire

Page 16: At the Australian Open Serena Williams came out on top during the fourth round, Bachelorette alum Jordan Kimball and fiancee Christina Creedon couldn't wait until they got home to enjoy Candy Pop popcorn's new Peanut M&M's flavor from Sam's Club in Houston, Heidi Montag spent the day hitting the slopes at Lake Tahoe

Page 17: Hailey Bieber starring in Beyonce's new Ivy Park x Adidas collection

Page 18: Brody Jenner had a blast snow tubing while shooting the second season of The Hills: New Beginnings in Lake Tahoe, Avril Lavigne stepped out with her new boyfriend Mod Sun for a romantic dinner in West Hollywood

Page 20: Justin Bieber looked like he'd just hopped out of bed in a sweater and checkered fleece pants in L.A., Robin Thicke in front of a piano in L.A.

Page 21: Steve Martin doubled up on face coverings on the set of his new project Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Michelle Obama on her new show Waffles + Michi, Cardi B spoiled herself with high-end goods during a day of shopping on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills

Page 22: Brooke Burke romancing with boyfriend Scott Rigsby on Valentine's Day, Lucy Hale accessorized her look with her newest rescue pup Ethel in L.A., Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon masked up for a snowy outing in NYC

Page 24: For Galentine's Day Vanessa Lachey snacked on macarons and sipped on wine in L.A.

Page 25: Bella Hadid alongside models Mayowa Nicholas and Heejung Park in Michael Kors' new campaign for the Spring 2021 collection, Hugh Grant stepped out for some fresh hair in London, Sofia Vergara kept it casual during a visit to a pal's house in Beverly Hills

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley's Rocky Mountain retreat

Page 28: Marriage isn't easy especially during a global health crisis but for Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard divorce is not an option -- Kristen said she and Dax at the start of the pandemic were at a point in their marriage where they definitely needed a little therapy brush-up and every couple of years they're being very antagonistic towards each other and they don't want that so they go back to therapy and figure out how they can serve their team goal better and it's been incredibly helpful and even in the toughest times they always have each other's back and they're committed to being each other's biggest support systems -- while their relationship may never be perfect, they're happy and love each other and that's what matters most

Page 29: Now that Tom Brady has won his seventh Super Bowl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he has set his sights on the next prize: baby No. 3 with wife Gisele Bundchen -- they've been telling friends they hope to make an announcement by summer at the latest and Tom and Gisele have been super loved-up since leaving Boston and moving to Florida after the QB signed on with the Bucs and the change of scenery has worked wonders on their love life and put them in baby-making mode -- the duo, who recently bought a $17 million spread on Miami's exclusive Indian Creek Island, plan to build a luxury mansion there complete with a nursery and they hope to be all settled in when the new arrival comes -- they've never felt healthier or been happier

* Aaron Rodgers looked positively giddy when he revealed he had a fiancee, Shailene Woodley at the NFL Honors, but the QB is dreading the next step: bringing her home to meet his parents because it's no secret that Aaron's been estranged from them for years and the last thing he wants is for Shailene to get caught up in the drama -- Shailene wants Aaron to clear the air with his folks, but he's not ready to do that and he doesn't want to bring Shailene into a toxic environment

* It's only been two years since Miranda Lambert married Brendan McLoughlin but she's already itching for some alone time -- she's headed to Texas in April for her first concert in over a year and she's told Brendan he shouldn't come because it will be all work and no play but she really wants to get away from him for a while and after the pair's recent road trip together, Miranda is desperate for some space -- sometimes Miranda feels like she's living with a baby because Brendan whines and complains about life on her farm

Page 30: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker's romance is heating up fast, so much so that she's practically handed over the keys to her Calabasas estate and she loves having Travis sleep over and sometimes he'll stay the whole weekend -- he gets along famously with her children and Travis has been a friend of the family for years, so the kids have pretty much known him their whole lives and they'll do fun stuff together like hiking or playing video games and Travis loves making breakfast and showing off his pancake-flipping skills --Travis is spending so much time at Kourt's place that he's moved a bunch of his stuff in to make it easier for his kids Landon and Alabama with ex Shanna Moakler to visit him there -- everyone's convinced they'll be living together full-time before you know it

* Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were met with a flurry of well-wishes after they revealed they're expecting baby No. 2 -- the couple decided to wait until Meghan was safely into her second trimester to share the news and they only told a handful of family members before the public and they wanted to cherish this secret for as long as they could -- Harry and Meghan have been nesting at their Montecito mansion and have been busy prepping the nursery and making sure it's eco-friendly with energy-efficient lighting and they're keeping it as plastic-free as possible

* Love Bites -- Clare Crawley and Dale Moss reunited, Kit Harington and Rose Leslie welcomed a baby boy, Paris Hilton and Carter Reum engaged

Page 32: Cover Story -- Bruce Springsteen's private world -- he's an open book in his songs, but here's Bruce's untold story of his struggles with depression and regret -- he still has dark thoughts from time to time but therapy and medication have helped a great deal

Page 36: Stars' Cheating Confessions -- sometimes all you can do is beg for forgiveness; these celebs have all had to plead their case -- Donny and Debbie Osmond, Jude Law and Sienna Miller, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith

Page 37: David Letterman and Regina Lasko, Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling, Kevin Hart and Eniko Parrish

Page 40: Interview -- Elizabeth Olsen -- the Avengers star dishes about getting witchy again for Marvel's mind-bending WandaVision

Page 42: Golden Girls -- how these Golden Globes nominees get their award-worthy figures -- Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicole Kidman, Lily Collins

Page 43: Kaley Cuoco, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Seyfried

Page 44: Aadila Dosani's vegan recipe for Chickpea and Potato Soup

Page 46: Style Week -- Ashley Graham is the new global brand ambassador for self-tanning label St. Tropez

Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- create a naturally gorgeous, flushed look with fashion designer Jason Wu's namesake makeup collection

Page 49: Haute hippie retro jeans -- take a trip back to the '70s with Revice Denim's ultra-cool capsule, Los Angeles Lovers -- Delilah Belle Hamlin

Page 50: Flower Power -- floral prints are spring's hottest trend -- rock the pretty blooms for a fresh, boho-chic look -- Kaia Gerber

Page 52: DIY Blowout -- these foolproof finds deliver impeccable hair right at home -- Drew Barrymore

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A with Mary Fitzgerald of Selling Sunset

Page 58: Buzz -- after months of playing it coy, these celebs confirmed their relationships on Valentine's Day -- Scott Disick and Amelia Hamlin

Page 59: Vanessa Hudgens and Cole Tucker, Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Green, Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker, Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Halsey on not conforming to conventional beauty standards, Anderson Cooper on coparenting with his ex, Ashley Graham on the importance of self-care, Kate Winslet on feeling like a fish out of water in Hollywood

Page 61: Tom Holland on the plot of the next Spider-Man flick, Mila Kunis joking about keeping her family entertained during quarantine, Drew Barrymore when asked if she's ever been skinny-dipping, Madelaine Petsch on playing a teen in Clare at 16

Page 62: Horoscope -- Pisces Lupita Nyong'o turned 38 on March 1

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Riz Ahmed

[stonecoldjerseyfox]

Jersey on my mind (part 16)

“You’re safe.”

Mila looks up from the half empty, half full bottle of Stolichnaya and is met by Rick, standing in the door of the bedroom. He’s all sweaty and stained with blood, but seemingly unharmed. Maybe a bit bruised but-

“Erhm... yeah.” Mila says, looking at him in disbelief. “You're back.” 

“I am.” Rick replies and sighs.

“Alone?”

“Michonne’s back too.”

Rick walks up to the bed, where Mila has barricaded herself since she left the battle scene outside. 

Her ‘maybe planned’ torture of the Wolf (it was because of him Mila had barely been able to dress herself for several days) was interrupted by Morgan, who dragged him away to the makeshift prison cell. He then forbade Mila to go near him, to which Mila gave Morgan a haywire smile, saying it wasn’t something she could promise. Then she returned to the house... well, after she had stopped to vomit into a beautiful rose bush around the corner. On shaking legs she ran up the stairs to the bedroom, where she found Juri, hiding underneath the covers in the bed with his walkman. At the sight of her, he burst into a sunny smile and wrapped his arms around Milas neck; squeezed all the anger, all the crazy, out of her. Mila held him close, pressed his little body against her chest and inhaled the scent of his soft hair, whispering to him what a good boy he was, how brave he was when he threw the bottle out the window.

“You are my brave, brave Solnishko.” 

Mila caressed him across his small face with the fingertips. Juri imitated, pulled his soft little fingers over her face, then buried them in her hair, pulled her close and gave her a kiss on the nose. She fell down next to Juri on the bed, just laid there, looking at him. Half an hour later, Juri was asleep and Mila had opened a bottle of vodka. 

Rick sits down on the bedside. He looks tired.  

“What happened?” she asks monotonously. “What went wrong?”

“They got out of the quarry.” Rick meets her gaze. “All of ‘em.” he sighs. “How’s the-” he nods towards her stomach.

Mila lifts the half empty bottle, to answer his question. Her goal is to drink herself to apathy, to the point where she won’t feel anything at all, neither her aching abdomen or emotions. It’s been too long since her last booze-bonanza. Half a bottle doesn’t affect her that much, a whole bottle is manageable but does the trick. Two bottles are quite a lot, definitely causes her to sway and spontaneously dance.  

She reaches Rick the bottle. It looks like he needs it. He takes it, removes the lid and takes a mouthful of the clear liquid and coughs, before giving it back to her.

“I talked to Morgan. And Carol. They said you did a hell of a job.”

“What did Morgan say?” Mila scoffs. 

“That you’re crazy.”

“Could’ve been worse.” Mila raises her eyebrows and takes a mouthful of vodka. “On the other hand, Gandhi’s right though. I am crazy.” 

“Seems like crazy saved a lot of lives.”

“Crazy’s not allowed to come out that often.” Once again Mila meets Rick's gaze. “You didn’t answer my question. Where are the others?”

“Michonne’s back too, and Heath and Scott.” 

“That’s not all of you.”

“We lost some.” Rick says, knows what she is referring to, or whom. “He’s with Abraham and Sasha.” he continues. “He’ll be alright.” Rick takes her hand, squeezes it. “Thanks.”

Mila looks at her hand.

“For what?”

“You held the stands here. Made sure people were safe. Protected them.” Rick lets go of her hand and takes the vodka bottle, takes a new sip. “I’m scared too. But I need you now. There’s about a hundred walkers on the other side of that wall.” he points towards the window. “Daryl’s not here. Glenn’s gone. People died. Morale’s low and the walls are weak. I need you to help me fix this. To keep this place safe.”

“I just-” Mila says. ”I just need to-” she pauses. “I don’t know what I need. Besides getting batshit drunk.” 

She takes back the bottle from Rick and drinks. When in doubt, she needs more vodka. That should be a Russian proverb, if anything, she thinks. What she really needs, or wants, besides alcohol, she can’t have in this life.  

That's when she sees the ring on Rick's ring finger. A wedding band. Huh, she hasn’t noticed it before.

“You’re married?”  

Rick looks down on his bloodstained, bruised hand.

“Was. Or-” Rick pauses, strokes the wedding band. “She died.”

Mila pulls out her necklace from inside her shirt and holds out for him to see. Next to the small, dainty gold heart she got from her mother at her twelfth birthday, a narrow gold ring with three small stones, dangles on the gold chain. 

“He died- turned, a few months ago.” Mila looks at the three diamonds, next to each other. On the inside, it says ‘Can’t start a fire without a spark’. It must’ve been hard for Jim, the devoted country music fan, to pick a Bruce Springsteen engraving instead of some cheesy country love song. “I killed him.”

”Juri’s father?”

”I don’t even know who that is. That’s another, fucked up story.” Mila looks down and takes a bountiful sip of vodka. Yeah, that really is a story for another time, advantageously if every person attending at that moment is heavily drunk. ”We had it all figured out. Jim was going to adopt Juri, we were going to get married. We were attacked in Louisville, Kentucky, on our way to his parents in Oklahoma. He didn’t tell me he was bitten. Two days later he turned. At a motel in Missouri.” she takes another sip. ”I hid Juri in a closet. I thought I was going to die. Jim was big, tall, all muscles. But I killed him. Buried him. Left him in a shallow grave behind the motel.” Mila looks at Rick. “You asked me if I’d killed anyone, do you remember? Alive or dead. I killed Jim. Whatever he was, dead or alive or something in between, I killed him. I did that. And now I have to live with that for the rest of my life. Morgan’s wrong. All life isn’t precious. That bastard down in that cell, he ain’t precious. But Jim’s was. And he’s dead.” 

“That’s called surviving.” 

“No, that’s called unfair.” Mila looks at Juri, lying next to her on his back with the headphones on. She pats him gently on the foot. “He’s the reason why I went out there today, partially. Or, more like, the reason I went out there, and came back. I came back to him.”

Rick takes her hand again. 

“You’re brave. And you care about people. You showed it today if anything.” Rick declares. “You saved people, protected them. Carl and Judith included. You’re part of this group. Both of you. People need other people to stay sane, to stay alive.” 

Something runs down her cheek. A tear. Oh for christ sake. Half a bottle of vodka doesn’t stop tears, she needs at least a whole bottle for that. To become completely numb, emotionally. Rick puts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her closer. It’s a friendly hug, it reminds Mila of her foster brothers, Adam and Peter Galka. A brotherly, kind embrace. They sit like that for a while, next to each other, sharing the vodka.

“He asked about you.” Rick says after a moment's silence. “Daryl. In his own way. Wanted me to make sure you were safe.” 

“I’m feeling brilliant.” Mila exclaims confidently. That might also be because of the vodka, but she doesn’t tell. Truthfully, she’s exhausted. “Brilliant...”

“Yeah.” Rick nods. “Can’t say the same about the guy in the cell. What did you do to him?”

[wkemeup]

Fireworks

summary: Bucky Barnes doesn’t do crowds. He certainly doesn’t do fireworks. But he’d follow you just about anywhere. 

pairing: bucky x reader

word count: 3.1k

warnings: PTSD symptoms, panic attack, a very sweet bucky 

author’s note: So I had no intentions of writing anything for today until I woke up at 6am and had this idea and couldn’t fall back asleep. This fic is shorter than my usual and didnt go through the pretty long drafting/editing period as my other fics, but I hope you like it just the same! ❣️

“Bucky you have to come with us,” you urged light-heartedly, tugging on his sleeve as he kept himself planted on the couch; nose deep in To Kill a Mockingbird, the lasted book on the line of a long list you had written up for him. A smile pulled at his lips, though he made every effort to suppress it.

He allowed his eyes to glance up to you over the top of his book to find you dressed in a red and white striped blouse that tied at your waist, revealing just an ounce of skin above your jean skirt, a red bandana in your hair tied up away from your face, and press on tattoos of Steve’s shield and the American flag on your cheeks. Bucky did his best to hide how endearing he found you.

“It’s Steve’s birthday, too, you know,” you drawled out, pulling out your last resort with a slight whine in your voice as you purse your lips into a frown. Puppy dog eyes and all, even Bucky had a hard time holding his ground.

“I’m not good at this kind of stuff, doll,” Bucky finally admits, setting the book down on his lap. He sent you an apologetic smile, mouth pressed out into a thin line. “You have fun for me, won’t you?”

You eventually nod, though your heart breaks a little every time Bucky shoots you down politely, keeping himself isolated and alone at every opportunity. He hid under the disguise of soft smiles, of wanting to finish his latest read, or the certain knowledge he carried that his presence would only end up being unwanted. He was wrong, and you told him so every time, but Bucky Barnes was a stubborn man.

“Ok Buck. You know where we’ll be if you change your mind,” you reply, careful to hide the hurt in your voice though Bucky picked up on it rather quickly. You brush your hand over his hair, the only person he ever let do that, and retreated over to the elevator to meet the rest of the team.

Bucky watched as you disappeared, swallowing back the guilt in his chest every time he had to say no to you.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go, didn’t want to spent time with you, because he did. He latched onto every moment he could get with you. But there was something about large crowds and the Fourth of July particularly that didn’t sit well with him.

He knew you’d stand next to him the entire time, keep yourself at just the right distance away in case he needed an escape or something to ground himself to. You’d done it for him in the few times he had allowed himself to venture out to these public events Stark put together, but it never ended well for him.

He’d either end up having a panic attack in closet by himself after he ran from you in the brief moment your back was turned or he’d have to struggle simply to endure the whispers of Tony’s guests mumbling about whether he deserved to join the avengers after all he’d done and if he was even still human at all. Sometimes he wondered that himself.

Bucky let out a heavy breath. The tower was always so quiet when you were gone. He used to enjoy the quiet. Somewhere, along the line since he met you, that had begun to change.

He missed your laugh as it echoed down the hall, the sweet sound of your voice as you teasing argued with Sam over the last bowl of cereal, the soft patter of your footsteps upon the hardwood floors in the early hours of the morning to make the first pot of coffee.

Bucky tried to concentrate on his book instead of the image of you in the back of his mind, but found he could hardly get past the next page. He chewed on his lower lip, willing himself to at least finish the chapter. You had so many books on his list for him to read and he wanted every excuse to make you smile, and nothing did that quite like when he finished one of your favorite novels and you could finally talk about it with him. The excitement in your face, the passion behind your words; it was enough to make his heart sore.

His concentration was shot.

Bucky groaned, setting the book down on the coffee table, and found himself glancing back towards the elevator.

“No, don’t be an idiot,” he grumbled to himself, getting up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen. Even as he poured the water to his glass, brought it to his lips, and drank it dry, he still couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away from where you had left.

“Shit,” he cursed, the weight of the realization that he’d follow you just about anywhere heavy on his chest, even if it was to some glorified propaganda style event with a crap-ton of people that were guaranteed to set him on edge.

Bucky set the glass in the sink and stalked off over to his room. A quick glance through his closet and he didn’t seem to have much along the times of America themed attire. His red henley, the only bit of color in a sea of black clothing, sat at the bottom of his laundry basket. Couldn’t be easy for him, could it?

So, he found himself in Steve’s closet. He rummaged through the motorcycle jackets, the white button down dress shirts, the series of navy skin tight t-shirts, until he found the shirt he was looking for. It was a loose fitting, heather blue t-shirt with the Captain America insignia at the center. You had bought it for Steve jokingly after he found out about his merch line.

Bucky pulled the shirt over his head and adjusted the bottom as it sat on the edge of his jeans. He caught a quick glimpse of himself in the mirror and grimaced at how silly he felt. Grabbing his navy bomber and shrugging it over his shoulders to hide the reflection of his left arm, he did his best to exhale away the nerves in his stomach. He shook his head, not giving himself another chance to back out, and made his way to the elevator.

The streets of New York were always busy, but it seemed that everyone was out tonight. Back before the war, Bucky had loved the Fourth of July; the picnics in the park, the celebration of the country he had loved, the hot dogs and hamburgers, the fireworks.

These days, crowds weren’t his friend and the fireworks presented a problem all their own, though he did his best to push that to the back burner for now.

Bucky twisted his way through the upstream of pedestrians, keeping his head down and hands tucked into his pockets to avoid recognition. He wasn’t too far away. He’d only have to spend another few minutes on his own before you’d find a way to help calm him down. He tried to focus on the smile upon your face when you realized he came. The thought alone was enough to make the corners of his lips twitch up.

By the time Bucky found himself in yet another elevator, this time on his way up to the rooftop where he’d be sure to find the rest of the team, his heart was beating rapidly in his chest. The doors parted to an influx of Bruce Springsteen playing over the speakers, the loud chatter of the guests, and the sizzling of the grill to his left.

Bucky stepped out into the crowd, hands clenching in his pockets as he searched for you amongst the sea of faces. He kept himself still, just waiting for the moment you’d come into view, when suddenly a hand clamped down on his shoulder. It nearly set off his defenses enough to rip the arm off whoever laid a hand on him when he turned around to find Steve staring at him.

“Wow, Buck, I didn’t think you’d make it,” Steve grinned, looking him over and his eyes narrowed on his shirt. He lifted an eyebrow quizzically. “Is that my shirt?”

“It’s all I could find,” Bucky grumbled, offering Steve an apologetic glance though he brushed it off rather quickly as he swung an arm around Bucky’s back. Bucky sighed, trying to let himself relax. “Is everyone here?”

“Everyone but Sam,” Steve replied. “He usually gets a cabin out in the woods on the Fourth. You know, to get away from the fireworks and stuff.”

“Right,” Bucky nodded, exchanging a kind of knowing look with Steve.

“Y/n should be over by the bar,” Steve said after a moment, a smirk upon his face letting Bucky know he was fully aware of the reason why he was at this party and it wasn’t for him. He didn’t seem to mind much at all. “Try to have a good time, Buck.”

Bucky pressed his lips into a thin line, the best he could do for right now, as Steve disappeared back into the crowd towards Natasha who was waiting for him by a table with a series of cups standing in the shape of a pyramid and waving a ping pong ball in her hand.

Clenching at his jaw, Bucky turned back to the crowd. It took a moment longer, but then he spotted you standing by the edge of the roof, leaning against the barrier as you sipped from your drink. Bucky found himself smiling, his heart rate already coming back down, before he could realize it. He carefully weaved his way through the crowd until he stood just behind you.

“The city’s real pretty from up here,” he said casually, watching as your shoulders froze at the sound of his voice. You set the glass down on the wall and turned ever so slowly to face him, as if you were worried your ears were playing tricks on you.

The smile that curved up on your lips, the light in your eye, was enough to make Bucky’s knees weak. You shouted his name, half-laughing as you swung your arms around his neck, pulling him flush against you as you squeezed him. He chuckled, letting his arms drape over your waist as he caught the scent of your shampoo in your hair.

“You’re here!” you exclaimed giddily, pulling back enough to see his face. He nodded, trying to act more nonchalant than he felt. You ran your hand over his shoulder, somehow still able to sense the tenseness in his muscles even under layers of clothes. “I’m proud of you, Buck.”

“Yeah, well, it was about time I got out of that tower, huh?”

“I’m really glad you did. This’ll be so much more fun now that you’re here!” you replied, grabbing a hold of his hand to drag him over to the table where Steve and Natasha were throwing ping pong balls into plastic cups full of beer. He tried to ignore the jolt in his heart at the feeling of your hand in his. “Come on, Buck! We’re going to destroy Steve and Nat in beer pong.”

An hour later, and you were right. Bucky never missed a shot. Nat had complained that he was a sniper and that put her and Steve at a disadvantage, to which you argued back that Steve was a super solider and Nat was a world class assassin. It all seemed to even out alright when Nat brought up the fact that you were trained by Clint before you were even a Shield agent.

It was coming up on ten o’clock, when the crowd began to gather over by the edge of the roof. Bucky narrowed his eyes, watching as everyone seemed to know what was happening before he did.

“What’s going on?” he asked you as you began to drag him over to the edge of the crowd, standing just enough away that he could still be a part of it with standing too close to the strangers. He appreciated you more than he could ever say aloud.

“Fireworks,” you replied with an excited grin as bright as your eyes.

Bucky swallowed, forcing out a smile, and turned away from you to face the night sky before you could see the panic in his features.

He’d dealt with fireworks before, heard them in the distance on unexpected nights in the tower. They never triggered him into the winter soldier but they did find a way to bring his heart up to a rate that felt like it could pump right out of his chest and onto the floor at his feet, make his breathing so tight he could hardly get air in, and brings thick line of sweat to his brow.

Tonight though, he’d find a way through it, he decided. For you.

When the first one shot into the sky, he had to admit it was beautiful; red and gold sparkled amongst the dark blue of the sky, peppering amongst the stars. He only flinched a little.

The second one was bigger, completely gold in color and it seemed to last for eternity as the colors brushed upon the darkness like tinsel. He tried to focus on the beauty of it, on the ‘ooo’s and ‘aww’s of the crowd, but found that the booming sound settled too deep in his chest. He hadn’t even noticed your hand slip into his.

After a few minutes, he couldn’t even look at the fireworks anymore, unable to find the beauty in the sparkling colors when he was wincing at every thunderous explosion.

A flash of the trenches in France, to the roar of the train, to the bombs that took out his friends in Germany; dozens of images clouded his mind, bringing him far away from the rooftop garden. His chest was aching, heart pounding painfully through his veins, and he found himself stepping back, retreating away from the crowd. He couldn’t hear your worried voice call his name, not with the pounding in his ears.

Bucky couldn’t quite focus on where he was going, breaths catching in his lungs and unable to find air despite the rapid intake of his breathing. He stumbled through the sliding glass doors, searching desperately for a dark space, somewhere isolated, somewhere he could get a grip before someone noticed.

That’s when he felt a gentle tugging on his hand. He couldn’t quite make out what it was, his vision blurring, as his feet led him through the loft. Then, he was ushered into a back room and helped to the bed where his aching legs gave out. The door to the room was closed and the explosions were muffled.

Hands brushed along his thighs, then up the sides of his arms to cup at his face. He was breathing too fast, becoming light-headed in the effort, but somehow he could still catch sight of you standing cautiously over him, worry etched in your features as your thumbs brushed against his cheekbones.

“Bucky, I need you to breathe,” you said calmly, offering him the sweetest smile he’d ever seen. He nodded, doing his best to follow your request. Your hand swept over his hair, pushing it behind his ears. “You can do this, sweetheart. Here, try and breathe with me.”

Bucky watched as you took in an exaggerated breath, letting your chest raise as you inhaled, held it for a moment, and exhaled with your whole body. You nodded for him to try and he reached out to grab onto the fabric of your shirt by your waist, bunching it into his hands just to find something to hold onto.

He took in a breath, though it was shallow, it was more than he had a second ago, and he let it go.

“Good. You’re doing so well, Bucky,” you praised, nodding encouragingly for him to try again. You took in a deep breath yourself and Bucky followed, focusing on the gentle hue of your eyes, how you watched him struggle to breath without an ounce of pity, with only a sea of adoration and sincerity.

Slowly, he began to find his breath again. Though his lips felt numb and his head was a little dizzy, his heart came back to a normal pace and you let out a sigh of relief. He barely registered you leaning forward to kiss his forehead before you sat next to him on the bed.

“Sorry, doll,” Bucky said after a long moment of silence. He winced it his own voice as it came out, breathy and rough around the edges.

“Oh, no, please don’t apologize,” you shook your head quickly, turning to face him. “I should have never pressured you to come. I should have realized the fireworks would affect you like this. We could have gone somewhere like Sam does...”

“You’d do that for me?” Bucky asked, genuinely shocked.

“Of course,” you said, as if it were obvious, as if it didn’t make Bucky’s heart skip a whole beat. “Maybe next year? I think we’re safe before the next round in an hour. If we head out now, I can have FRIDAY can soundproof your room and we can catch up on the next show on your list. What was it again?”

“Parks and Recreation,” Bucky replied, a smile upon his face.

He couldn’t seem to fathom how you had stumbled into his life and took on his burdens so willingly. It was a constant effort to remind himself that he was allowed to enjoy the small things, like reading with you on the couch and watching tv through the early hours of the morning, that maybe he deserved to find happiness.

“Oh right! That’ll be a good one,” you giggled, tugging on his hands to help him back to his feet. “I’ll text Steve so he knows we’re heading out. He’ll understand if we don’t say goodbye. No need to get back out into that chaos huh?”

You really thought of everything.

Bucky could only nod, too caught up in how much his heart had begun to swell. A blush in his cheeks as you took his hand in yours, so casually, like it didn’t mean the entire world to him, and led him back to the elevator. You didn’t let go the entire walk back to the tower.

Even as you helped weave him through the sea of people bumping into his shoulders that would have normally set him off, your cautious glanced back to him and the gentle squeeze in his hand was enough to keep him grounded. He found that he didn’t much mind the crowds, didn’t mind much of anything at all.

Not when he was with you.

Thank you so much for reading! ❤️ If you enjoyed this fic, please consider supporting me at my ko-fi account ✨

[mydemimonde]

‘muse’ ch. 6 | matt (bbtl)

CHAPTER 6

“I don’t know what came over me” Mia confessed to her friend Javed. Both were at the living room in Mia’s house, drinking some tea. After her outburst that afternoon, she locked herself up in her room, she didn’t want to talk to anyone. But her mother told her Javed was waiting for her outside, and had no choice but to go downstairs and see what was going on.

“Matt looked really hurt and confused. He didn’t say a word after what you told him, he went straight to his house” he stated with a brooding look. “Is everything okay?”

Now Mia felt bad. Really bad. “It’s just… my emotions accumulated and I exploded” he looked at her, curiously. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. When you left the party the other night, I went upstairs and accidentally walked into Matt and Emma making out.” She sighed. “They were about to have sex”

“Oh” he stood there, not knowing what to respond.

“That’s not the worst. Yesterday he took me to the store and made me pick a necklace. I thought it was for me, but it was for…”

“For Emma” he gave her a sorry look, his friend nodded and looked down.

“I know I over reacted, that was shitty” she covered her face with her hands, frustrated.

“Hey, you said it yourself, your emotions piled up” she lifted her head and he continued his statement. “You have the right to feel sad. You know I’ll be here, always”

She smiled and leaned forward, hugging him. “Thank you so much, J”

“Anytime”

“So, are you coming tomorrow for lunch?”

“Absolutely, I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world. Should I bring something?”

“Just your presence” both lads laughed. Javed looked at his watch. “You have to go, right?”

“Yes, mum needs help with the sewing. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” both got on his feet and Mia walked him to the door.

“See you J, send my regards to your mum”

“Will do”

Once she got her pyjamas on, Mia grabbed her book and sat on her bed. She tried to read, but couldn’t concentrate, her mind was elsewhere. Maybe she was too rude to Matt. Poor guy, he was so shocked and hurt when Mia snapped at him. It wasn’t his fault, it was her ability to hide and bury her emotions so deep, and then combusting when she’s overwhelmed.

She put the book down on her desk and walked towards the window. There, she had a view of the street and Matt’s house. Especially the living room and his bedroom. There he was, sitting on his bed with his guitar. She couldn’t hear from the distance, but she was sure it was a beautiful tune. It seemed like he was writing a song, because from time to time he would stop playing to grab a pencil and start writing on a paper.

Mia stared at him for a while, she noticed his sadness. Eventually, he placed his guitar aside, turned off the lights and went to bed. She closed the window and went to sleep as well.

- - - - - - -

There was a knock on the door, and Oliver opened it. “Well, hello Javed!”

“Hello Mr Bradley” he answered with a polite smile and tone.

“I told you to call me Oliver, no matter how much time has passed” he patted his back and closed the door. “You’re part of the family”

“Thanks Oliver”

They all sat on the table and Susie came from the kitchen with lunch. “I hope you enjoy this” she put the dish in the middle of the table and told them to help themselves.

“Is this your special recipe you would cook when we were children?” asked Javed after eating the first bite of it.

“Yes!” she sat on the other corner of the table, facing her husband. She looked at the empty chair next to Javed. “It’s a shame Matt couldn’t come”

Mia chew on her salad and nodded. Nellie frowned. “What happened?” she noticed Mia and Javed exchanging looks. “Did you have a fight?”

“No, not at all” declared Mia quickly, almost with her mouth full. What a professional liar. “He had another… event going on”

Oliver hummed. “I miss that lad. Hope next time he joins”

Mia just nodded in silence, focusing on filling her glass of water.

They talked about many things during lunch, Javed listened with interest at everything the family did over the past six years in Liverpool. Then, he told them about the struggles he and his family had everyday with money, especially now that his older sister’s wedding day was getting closer. The Bradleys just listened to him.

“Well, if you need help with anything just tell us. In fact, there’s a vacancy where I work, you can tell your father” Javed’s face lit up at Oliver’s words. “No experience needed”

“Really? Thank you so much”

Once lunch was finished, Mia and Javed helped Susie to wash the dishes, not without splashing water and playing around. The day was beautiful with the sun shining, they wouldn’t let the last day of holidays go to waste. They took their bikes and went cycling.

“What do you want to do after finishing school, J?”

“I want to go to college, Manchester, but my dad won’t let me. He wants me to stay here in this hole, so I don’t know”

“You will get into college, you’re so smart and resilient, you can do whatever you set your mind to” Mia loved his friend so much and hated when he teared himself down. “I know it’s hard to rebel against your parents, especially against your dad. But don’t let him decide your future”

Her words of encouragement made his eyes soften and his heart fill with joy. “Thanks Mia. And what do you want to do after school?”

She pursed her lips to the side, thinking. “I really want to get out of here. I’m not saying that I don’t like Luton, because I grew up here, but… I want to see the world; you know what I mean?”

“A hundred percent”

“I want to move to another place. I want to go to college and become a writer. Or an artist, I’m not quite sure yet. All I’m sure about is that I long to go to college”

“And we will” they smiled at each other.

They cycled for hours, until the sun started to set. They were parking their bikes when they heard a voice coming from behind them.

“Hi…”

It was Matt. They turned to look at him. “Hello mate” Javed greeted him, Mia started playing with the hem of her shirt, uneased.

“I saw you earlier. Why didn’t you tell me you were having lunch?” his blue eyes were full of hurt.

Javed looked at his friend, confused. “You didn’t tell him?”

Mia blinked. “Uhm…” she glanced at Matt, who was now feeling betrayed. “I was… I was going to tell you. But then you told me today was Emma’s birthday, so…” her voice lowered at the last words.

“I could’ve come anyways, the party wasn’t gonna start until tonight” Matt looked puzzled. Mia’s mouth opened, but she couldn’t form any words. She didn’t know what to say. He lowered his head and bit his lower lip. “Okay, I get it” his shoulders dropped and he backed away.

“Matt, wait” Mia went after him and grabbed his arm, but he let go of her grip.

“What do you want?” his voice cracked with a mix of anger and sadness. “Ever since you got here you’ve been acting strange. I thought we were gonna be friends like the old times, but you’ve been treating me like shit, or trying to avoid me” his eyes began to fill with tears.

Mia, you absolute idiot. Look what you’ve done.

He looked away, avoiding her eyes. “Look, if you don’t wanna be friends anymore, just tell me and I’ll understand. Because this…” he gulped “this is hurting me”

Matt turned around and went inside his house, leaving a speechless Mia behind.

- - - - - - -

Three days passed since the last day of holidays. Three days since Matt’s angry words at Mia. Three days since Mia realized she truly acted like an insensitive bitch towards Matt. He didn’t deserve that treatment; he deserved an explanation. But she had no idea what to say.

Sorry for being an asshole Matt, I was being a bitch because I don’t know how to express myself and control my emotions, I’m jealous of Emma because she’s pretty and hot and she has you wrapped around her finger, and all I can do is watch both of you from a distance and suffer in silence.

She sighed and grabbed her books. Literature lessons ended and now it was time to go home. Miss Clyde was an incredible literature teacher, but made them work very hard. Mia liked that kind of pressure though; it made her focus and make her best effort.

“How was Literature?” asked a panting Javed, who came running from Biology class.

“Very interesting. We discussed about Mary Shelley today. How was Biology?”

“Ugh, disgusting. We dissected a frog today” she pretended to vomit. “I know, Miss Wallis loved it though” he started looking inside his bag, frantically.

“What’s with the rush?” she watched how some of the books threatened to fall from the bag, and helped him look for whatever he was looking.

“Mia, I just had my eyes opened. And ears”

She giggled. “What are you talking about?”

“The boss. Bruce freaking Springsteen” he handed over the cassettes.

“What?” she took them and examined them.

“He’s just… amazing. It’s like he knows what’s going through in my brain, his songs speak to me on another level”

On the way home Javed talked to Mia about his new idol, agreeing on everything he said. Ever since her mother listened to him, she started to enjoy his music.

A few steps close to their homes, they saw Matt coming out of his friend’s car. Mia stared at him.

“I think it’s time to talk to him” Javed spoke and noticed how she was doubting his idea. “You can’t avoid him forever”

“I know. But I literally have no idea what to say”

“Saying ‘I’m sorry’ would be a good start” she slowly nodded. He sighed. “I hate being in the middle”

“I’m sorry for putting you in this position, you don’t deserve this” she patted his back.

“He’s the one who doesn’t deserve this. He deserves an explanation” he always said the right words. He was a great adviser.

“Yes, you’re right”. She saw how Matt laughed at something his friend said, then he said goodbye to them. When he lifted his head and saw Mia and Javed, he quickly looked away and went inside his home.

“Well, I better be going. I need to finish an essay, see you around” he ruffled her hair and she giggled.

She stood there, thinking about what to do. What Javed said was true, Matt deserved an explanation. She sighed and headed towards his house.

Here we go.

- - - - - - -

tag list: @blueeyedheizer​

[ajoblotofjunk]

DVD commentary for the July chapter of HFOG! or just the motorcycle ride if that’s too much lol

All of July is too much for me mentally right now so I’ll do the motorcycle ride. :D This got (unsurprisingly!!) long, so lemme put a Keep Reading cut in real quick.

A week later, on the off Sunday between Winterfell and Lannisport, Jaime was spending his birthday alone at the office.

I’ll do this whole section, since it being on his birthday was the trigger I used to get Jaime to ask her to go on the bike. This scene was one of like three I had in my head from pretty much the beginning. I find motorcycles extremely sexy (I’m an easy target okay) and I loved the idea of forcing these two knuckleheads into that much physical contact in what should theoretically be a platonic experience; I just had to figure out how to get them there since Brienne just spent the last part of June pushing Jaime back a step. Hard to say no to a lonely man on his birthday though.

going clubbing until they were both passed out or dead by the end of it. Bronn was home with Lollys, probably having enough sex to stock them up until August, and Jaime wasn’t really close enough with the rest of the crew to consider spending time with them outside of work.

I think this was the month where I decided Bronn was going to be genuinely happy with Lollys. I know I mentioned her early on but I toyed around in my head for awhile with the idea that he was still kind of loose and maybe even unfaithful to her, and I decided I didn’t want to go that way. I wanted to like Bronn in this fic. He’s kind of my Sarcastic Wise Elder character for these two and I really grew to love the idea that he is just as much an inner softie in his heart as Jaime is, that that sharp outer shell/gooey center combo was something that connected them. I think it really helped in the October chapter that Bronn was likable, because then that scene in the hospital between him and Jaime had a much bigger emotional hit.

The only other person he wanted to see was Brienne and though she’d sent him a ‘happy birthday!’ text that morning unprompted, he hadn’t responded for

I laugh to myself thinking about Brienne hovering over that text message all “should I send a gif? is the text going to be enough? what about emojis? Is it weird if I text him at all? He didn’t tell me it was his birthday but I definitely know it’s his birthday because I have memorized a lot of unimportant facts about a man I am Definitely Not Into.”

lunch, smoked what he swore was the only cigarette he would have as a thirty-six year old, and then aimlessly watched TV for a few hours before driving his motorcycle into the office.

Jaime uses smoking to fill the hole of the things he wants but believes he’ll never have. At the start of the fic that’s respect and winning races. As he slowly gets those things, he smokes whenever he’s thinking about Brienne, even though he does not realize it consciously. Once he gets all three, he stops smoking for good.

There had been a scattered handful of engineers there that afternoon, working away in preparation for the different requirements of Lannisport next week, but

Honestly, sometimes remembering there were hundreds of people working on this team in particular was exhausting. 😂 I always had this constant voice in the back of my head of Lannister Corp scenes of “where are all these other workers and what are they doing?” It works here because I needed the ride to happen at night, but this is just giving me flashbacks to “oh right this team is actually 500-1000 people, not just these 12.”

He raised his glass of water to his empty office. “Happy birthday to me,” he muttered, taking a sip. It wasn’t even flavored water, which felt like such a maudlin statement on his life that he couldn’t finish it.

The “it wasn’t even flavored water” line still makes me laugh to this day. It’s one of my favorite moments in the entire story. It’s so DRAMATIC. Like, my god man, get a hold of yourself. Anyway, I love drama queen Jaime.

He probably should have texted Taena or Melara, but he didn’t want to spend time with them. He didn’t want to listen to his sister’s barely concealed insults

I had a whole bit…I think it was in August? Might have been earlier, I can’t recall now, anyway, two or three paragraphs talking about how Jaime met Melara and Taena and why they all worked out this arrangement and Brynn (rightly) made the point that it didn’t actually add anything to the story I was telling. I managed to cover what really mattered about it in two sentences instead. The moral of this is that this story could have been even longer but Brynn is the best so you should thank her.

find out what she did on her off days, what kind of birthday cake she liked, if

Chocolate with chocolate and fruit filling and chocolate frosting, FYI.

Brienne’s worried frown deepened. “Have you done anything for your birthday today?”

“I had a cigarette.”

She shook her head, looking disappointed. “Anything that doesn’t shorten your life by doing it?”

I also really like this line. I’m a fan of Worried Mom Friend Brienne, too.

“I drank some water,” he grumbled.

Unflavored! Like an ANIMAL. 😂

“Have you even eaten?”

“I feel like we’ve had this conversation before.”

She blinked, startled, and then a sheepish grin swarmed over her face. “I guess some things don’t change. At least you didn’t insult me this time.”

“Progress,” he said, smiling, watching her features go soft and open in a way he’d probably dream about that night. Distance, his brain reminded him.

I didn’t plan for this quiet callback to the sandwich conversation from January, but I really was pleased to see it happen. It makes sense; Brienne wants the people she cares about to take care of themselves and where back in January I think she felt she was being more his Mom, here they’re both aware she’s being his friend and that’s part of why it’s a softer moment.

“Then come riding with me. Have you been on a motorcycle before?”

“No. My dad was firmly against it after Galladon died.”

At this point in the fic I was pretty sure Brienne was going to drive although I hadn’t worked out all the details of how I was going to get there yet, but when I wrote this I definitely shored up the “Selwyn is very overprotective” support I’d only just started to build back with the phone call in January. I also knew when I wrote this that Jaime was going to bring the motorcycle to Tarth and her dad was going to be all about it, even though I wasn’t sure how that was going to happen. 

“Well,” he said, standing slowly, “your dad’s not here now, is he?”

Fun fact: this story idea first appeared to me in relation to Bruce Springsteen’s “I’m On Fire” and there’s a lyric in there - ‘hey little girl is your daddy home, did he go and leave you all alone’ - that this quietly references. And actually I wanted the whole motorcycle ride to have the exact same feeling when you’re reading it as I feel listening to that song! It’s a direct path from there to here emotionally.

(In some other universe instead of this I wrote a fic where Jaime keeps bringing his car in to Selwyn’s Garage just so he can see Brienne, grease smudged on her face, and he asks her to deliver it to his home and she does and, well. It doesn’t go like the video. *g*)

(That video and song were very formative influences on young me though I was not aware of it at the time. If you haven’t heard the song or seen the video, here you go: https://youtu.be/lrpXArn3hII)

Jaime arched an eyebrow. “My bike is plenty big.”

Brienne snorted but the red in her cheeks spread out to her crooked her nose and down the freckled length of her long neck. “Sounds like you’re compensating, Lannister.”

I could show you he thought but he bit it back, as well as the image of pushing her against the door of his office and- No. Bad. he told both his errant thoughts and his twitching cock like they were misbehaving dogs. 

Jaime has been horny for her since April (January though he would refuse to acknowledge it if you told him that at this point), give him a break.

He came around the desk and held out his hand and she stared down at it like it was a snake she was trying to decide was poisonous or not.

Brienne gingerly wrapped her long fingers around his

I wanted Brienne to actively participate in the decision to do this, to show through her actions (not just Jaime’s perceptions of her) that she wants this, too. I had to ramp things up for both of them in this chapter because I knew what was coming in August and I wanted them to be ready for that. I couldn’t have gone from where they were in June to the kiss in August, I had to force them together in a way they hadn’t intended so that when they come together intentionally it feels like a natural progressions, and that meant both of them had to be wanting it.

What are you doing? his brain demanded as he led Brienne through the empty corridors out to the front parking lot.

 Enjoying my birthday for once.

I like this because it’s both Jaime making excuses for why he’s doing something really foolish if he’s supposed to be keeping his distance but ALSO true and a sad reflection on his life (and what Brienne brings to it even now).

His bike was parked in Tywin’s CEO spot, where he always parked as a small, childish fuck you to his father. Brienne gasped as they walked up, pulling her hand away to brush the gleaming chrome.

“You have an Iron Throne!”

I know. I KNOW. But I love calling it that. I cast around for motorcycle names for awhile and when I hit on this I could not resist. Iron Thrones in this fic world are basically those giant Harleys that would easily seat two people.

weight of her against his palms. Brienne’s eyes narrowed and he worried for a second she’d heard his thoughts. “It’s not safe to ride without a helmet though, and I don’t have one. Do you have an extra?”

Jaime hadn’t brought his today, either. “We could wear driving helmets.”

As I recall it, Brynn came up with the idea of the helmet scene or at least definitely helped me work out how it was going to go when I got stuck on it. She made the point it should be a cute moment between them and it was right because it made the whole ride seem fun instead of just weighty and tense. The fact they actually have FUN together is really important to me because I think it’s really important to successful relationships in general. If you’re going to be with this person for the rest of you life, I hope like hell you enjoy spending time with them.

When she saw the helmet he had she laughed, the sound bursting up into the sky like a flock of startled birds.

I’m not usually happy with how I describe things - I never feel like it’s as interesting or descriptive or powerful as I want - but I do like this line a lot.

“It’s a helmet,” he said, holding it out to her. The helmet was a bright neon green and covered with frogs forming the words MOAT CAILIN with their bodies. “I got it from one of our sponsors a few years ago and kept it thinking someday I’d wear it just to piss off my father.”

What does Moat Cailin do? I genuinely have no idea. 😂

Brienne took the helmet and held it out away from her like it was a very stinky baby. “You’re sure no one is going to see us?”

“Now who’s vain?”

This made me laugh. I love when Brienne gets to be light-hearted.

“Isn’t there some biker lingo you should use instead?”

“Hop on my hog, sexy mama?”

Goofy Jaime: also a personal favorite. This is kind of an early insight into how he’s going to be in later months when he’s truly, unburdenedly (I made that word up) happy.

Brienne laughed even harder that time and shook her head. “You are so annoying,” she said fondly, climbing on behind him.

The “you’re annoying”/”you’re stubborn” back and forth is something I have been trying to consistently but not overwhelmingly carry through this fic from very early on.

“Since you’ve never ridden before, the primary rule is that you have to lean into the curves with me. If you’re balanced differently than I am it might bring the whole bike down.

Having ridden a motorcycle: this is actually true. It was the first thing the person I was riding with told me.

Her arms fully encircled his waist, her body pressed so firmly against his back he imagined he could feel the weight of her small breasts through his own shirt. He had no jacket but he didn’t need one; even if it hadn’t been for the drowsy summer heat, Brienne’s warmth against him stoked enough fire he could have burned all night.

You shouldn’t ride a motorcyle without proper gear, kids, but Jaime doesn’t give a fuck and for the purpose of this kind of intimate contact, neither do I for this story. 😁

It was almost like sex, the way they moved together around the curves, the blood thrumming in his veins, her occasional breathless gasp. He had to shift a little on his seat to make room for his awkward erection, but he pressed the bike faster, the curves tighter, until she was welded against him and the wind whipped her joyful laughter from her mouth, leaving it like tracers behind them in the dark. 

This is the image in my head when I thought of them on the motorcycle ride. Everything before and after this paragraph is just set up and pay off for this one part.

Centuries ago there had been a keep at the top of Aegon’s High Hill, but all that was left now were old stones weathered by time and the salt air off of Blackwater Bay.

Thank goodness for the internet, and people who post very detailed maps of King’s Landing and Westeros so I can figure out some of this stuff. I have spent a surprising amount of time for this fic looking at maps.

“Why were you at work today?” he asked, staring at her.

Brienne pulled off her hoodie to reveal a tank top underneath, her muscular shoulders bunching as she did so in a way that made his mouth go dry.

There’s a gif that was being posted in the Oathkeepers discord around the time I was writing this that I had in mind explicitly for this moment. 😄

Her skin seemed to absorb the light, making it white and smooth as milkglass, her freckles mirroring the infinite stars. “Truthfully,” she said, “I wanted to spend some time alone with the car.” Even in the moonlight the reddening of her pale cheeks was clear.

Survey says: Mostly true. She also was thinking of him, since it was his birthday. She genuinely did NOT expect him to be there, though.

Jaime walked to the edge of the flat gravel and stared across the Rush to roughly where he thought Tarth would be way down south in the Stormlands. It had been years since he’d been and he didn’t remember it well, but he wished he could so he could picture Brienne there.

Again, I knew he was going to be in Tarth the very next chapter, so I wanted to lay the groundwork for it to seem natural he would be. Bringing it up here was a perfect opportunity for that.

They put their helmets back on, and Brienne her hoodie, and she climbed on behind him again, her arms automatically curling around his waist this time instead of the distant grip of the start. He started the engine and leaned forward a little, and she leaned her head against his shoulder as they took the drive down more slowly.

This easy warmth was important, too. Again, the sexual tension is critical to get them to their breaking point because they’re sure as hell not going to talk about how much they care about each other first (or even for a long while after they start having sex, as we discover), but I wanted there to be something deeper to their bond, too, a connection that I could build on in the second half of the story where you believe they’ll be happy together as an established couple. That they’re comfortable together.

The trip down the hill was as solemn as the stars above and when he parked again in front of the Lannister Corp Racing offices Brienne took her helmet off and stared quietly at him when he remained seated, his visor pushed up.

I think subconsciously this is when Brienne really falls in love with him, because it’s just Jaime being Jaime, and sharing something important to him with her and that kind of openness is the key to her heart.

Sadness gleamed like the stars in her big twilight eyes. Brienne put a hand on his shoulder and his whole body went rigid under her touch. Her fingers crept to the nape of his neck under his helmet, softly brushed through the short hair there before she dragged them away again as her pale skin reddened. 

Brienne was more reserved here in the initial draft of this and Brynn thought there should be more and she was - as usual - absolutely right. So the touch was added to fully seal the momentous connection that happened here.

“You can get home okay?” he asked.

“I’ll take the bus, there’s a stop just by the sports bar.”

Brienne the Bus Rider strikes again. Hee.

He couldn’t even quit smoking; how was he ever going to quit wanting Brienne?

These two things are connected here for a reason! As noted above. Hee.

Wow this was fun for me, thank you for asking! 😊

[DVD Commentary Meme - Asks are open]

[lawblrwithalcohol]

17 Questions Meme

Not tagged, just bored.

Nickname: First born.  Having a short first name and few friends meant my only nickname was from my dad, and he is a literal man.

Zodiac: Pisces.  And so are both my siblings, our birthdays are stretched out between 10 days.

Height: 5′10″-6′0″. I don’t know why it varies by 2 inches depending on the day, I’m tall enough to reach what I want, see over short people, but don’t have to kneel to take a shower.  Best possible height according to my brother (6′4″) and sister (5′8″).

Hogwarts House: Slytherin.  Like, read Machiavelli, and thought “This guy, he gets it!” Slytherin.

Last thing I Googled: USPS tracking (my package I’ve been waiting for 2 weeks arrived today, woohoo!)

Song in my Head: One of Them Girls by Lee Brice

Followers and Following:  Followers - 2140 Following - 86

Amount of Sleep: I need 6 hours to function, with an hour start up to avoid being fired or losing friends anytime I wake up.

Lucky number: 9 and 13

Dream job: Hermit.  Like that one dude who lives by hunting, farming his own food, reading books, and enjoying life.  I’ve adapted to city life, but all my friends know that a cabin on a mountain is like crack for me.

Wearing: college t-shirt and running shorts, I live alone and its quarantine

Fave Songs: Badlands by Bruce Springsteen, The Parting Glass by the High Kings, Back in Black by AC/DC, and My Way by Frank Sinatra.

Instruments: Drumset and Saxophone, but I haven’t touched either in over a decade

Random Fact: I like to prank my dentist’s assistant by telling her to do a high contrast x-ray, because the titanium in my skull makes it an unreadable mess.  Dentist lets me get away with it because my dental work is so interesting and I let him take an extra 15 minutes to teach his people something new.

Favourite Authors: Jim Butcher, Miles Cameron, Steven Erikson, Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, and Brent Weeks. 

Fave Animal Sounds: That rumble a dog or cat give you when all is well and its time to just lie down.

Aesthetic: Whatever is needed for the event.  Seriously, I have such a range of clothes, but its more like dress up than getting dressed.  If I had my way, black sneakers, jeans, loose t-shirt, leather jacket, and aviator sunglasses would be acceptable for every event, but alas.

[janiedean]

ah well fuck it here it goes - let’s have some springsteen celebration here guys

okay so I said I didn’t have time but fuck it all I’ll make it and tbh I don’t want to start with discourse again, so let’s just see if we can turn the week into smth decent ;)

so: as on sept. 23rd it’s the birthday of our almighty gift from the universe bruce springsteen and it’s a round number so celebrating is due, from today until the 23rd as much as time allows I’m doing the springsteen bash of doom, which means that:

if you want bruce song analysis please ask for one and I shall be glad to provide! (if you wanna send fake anon hate with it that’s fine ;) )

if you want to talk bruce or bruce top fives or WHICH BRUCE SONG FITS MY OTP BETTER the askbox is there

if you want to discuss bruce’s best outfit in the centuries pls ;)

if you want advice on WHICH SOLO ESB MEMBERS’S RECORDS SHOULD I CHECK pls do ask

anything like ^^^ is especially welcome :)

but, if you want you can ask for bruce-based fic prompts, as in:

(possibly within the realm of reason bc I’m pressed on time so i don’t have time for long things) feel free to send a ship/character (also gen is good!) plus a prompt that has to be bruce-related (song? one lyric? ppl going on vacation to nj? one of them is into bruce the other is wtf? whatever you get the drill), if you need help this is a comprehensive song list ;)

my ships are linked on the sidebar now that the blog is public again, my notps are under janiedean.tumblr.com/notps, if it’s not on any of those lists feel free to ask, no abo or character death or noncon or cheating, I reserve the rights to say I can’t do it, we’re good;

for this specific exercise prompts have to be bruce related, however the only exception I’ll accept if you want it is hooker au related things because that was based on like fifteen different bruce songs so it counts;

if something looks good for jb week or turns out being too long I reserve the rights to publish later ;)

this starts now and goes on until the 23rd based on how much time I can devote to it so if it’s fic pls give me a few days XD I’ll try to publish everything within the 23rd, after that day I don’t guarantee when I’ll reply because as stated rl is what it is. sounds good? then please indulge me and let me talk springsteen for the next five days ;)

;) 

[dustedmagazine]

Dust, Volume 5, Number 12

Matthew J. Rolin 

Ned Starke was right. Winter is coming, and maybe, for our Chicago and Eastern Seaboard contingent, it’s here. That’s a good excuse to find a big comfy chair near the stereo and dig into some new music. This time we offer some hip hop, some finger picking, some music concrete, some indie pop and, just this once, a Broadway musical. Contributors include Ray Garraty, Jennifer Kelly, Justin Cober-Lake, Jonathan Shaw, Bill Meyer and Andrew Forell. Stay warm.

ALLBLACK x Offset Jim — 22nd Ways (Play Runners Association)

ALLBLACK and Offset Jim have collaborated on a few tracks before, but this is their first release together. Their differences, which are significant, make the disc enjoyable through and through. Offset Jim has a poker face delivery that can fool anybody into thinking he’s deadly serious when he’s clearly having fun. ALLBLACK, on the other hand, is known for his goofy humor, but his goofiness is a mask that obscures a poetic psycho killer. Their combination of a healthy dose of humor and true-to-the-streets seriousness—seen here— makes a case for tolerating all kinds of oddball pairings:

“Don't leave the house without your makeup kit Diss songs about your real daddy just won't stick Hey, bitch, say, bitch, I know you miss this demon dick Please comb Max hair, take off them wack outfits”

Ray Garraty

 David Byrne — American Utopia (Nonesuch)

If you live long enough, everything that seemed edgy and electrifying in your youth will turn safe and comfortable in middle age. You’ll buy festival tickets with access to couches, tents and air conditioning. Clash songs will turn up in Jaguar ads. Kids at the playground will run around sporting your Black Flag tee-shirt. You may even find yourself in a $250 seat, at a beautiful theater, with your beautiful wife, seeing “American Utopia,” David Byrne’s new jukebox musical, and, to borrow a phrase, you may ask yourself, “How did I get here?” And look, you could do worse. These are wonderful songs, still prickly and spare even now in full orchestral arrangements, still booming with cross-currented, afro-beat rhythms (Byrne got to that early on, give him credit), still buoyed with a scratchy, ironic, ebullient pulse of life. It’s hard to say what plot line stitches together “Born Under Punches,” “Every Day is a Miracle,” “Burning Down the House” and “Road to Nowhere,” or how absorbing the connective narrative may be. It’s not, obviously, as kinetic and daring as the original arrangements, stitched together with shoe-laces, stuttering with anxiety, bounced and jittered by the back line of Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz, clad in an absurdly oversized suit. And, yet, it’s not so bad and if I had three big bills to spend on a night at the theater, I might just want to see it re-enacted. Because I’ve gotten safe and comfortable, too, and anyway, better that than the Springsteen show.

Jennifer Kelly

 Charly Bliss — Supermoon EP (Barsuk) 

Supermoon by Charly Bliss

Charly Bliss’ latest release Supermoon, collects five tracks written during the Young Enough sessions that didn’t make the final cut. The EP showcases the band transitioning from the grungy edge of their debut Guppy to the more polished pop sound of its successor. Eva Hendricks is one of the moment’s most distinctive voices, and these songs find her grappling with the themes so tellingly addressed on Young Enough. Although the songs here deserve release, the interest is in what they don’t do. More than sketches, they are less lyrically formed than those on the album, more guitar driven and without the big pop pay offs. The band, Hendricks on guitar and vocals, her brother Sam on drums, guitarist Spencer Fox and bassist Dan Shure still produce a hooky, engaging record which will appeal to fans. Newcomers might want to start with the albums but Supermoon is not without its moments.

Andrew Forell

  Cheval Sombre — Been a Lover b/w The Calfless Cow (Market Square)

Cheval Sombre - Been a Lover b/w The Calfless Cow by Market Square Recordings

Cheval Sombre teamed with Luna/Galaxie 500’s Dean Wareham last year for a haunting batch of cowboy songs that found, as I put it in my Dusted review, “unfamiliar shadows and crevices in some very familiar material.” Now comes Cheval Sombre, otherwise known as Chris Porpora, with a brace of soft, dreamy folk-turned-psychedelic songs, one a gently sorrowful original, the other a cover of Alasdair Roberts. “Been a Lover” slow-strums through a whistling canyons of dreams, wistfully surveying the remnants of a long-standing relationship. It has the nodding, skeletal grace of Sonic Boom’s acoustic “Angel,” perhaps no coincidence since the Spaceman 3 songwriter produced the album. “The Calfless Cow” anchors a bit more in folk blues picking, though Porpora’s soft, prayerful vocals float free above the foundations. Both songs feel like spectral images leaving traceries on unexposed film—unsolid and evocative and mysteriously, inexplicably there.

Jennifer Kelly

 Cigarettes After Sex — Cry (Partisan Records)

Cry by Cigarettes After Sex

Cigarettes After Sex’s 2017 debut album was a quite lovely collection of slow-core, lust-lorn dream pop. On the follow up Cry Greg Gonzalez (vocals, guitar), Phillip Tubbs (keys), Randall Miller (bass) and Jacob Tomsky (drums) double down on their signature sound with half the effect. The melodies are still here, the delicate restraint also, Gonzalez’ voice whispers seductively sweet nothings but this time around it is largely nothings he’s working with. It’s not that this is a terrible record, it’s more that the wreaths of gossamer amount to not much. Lacking the humorous touches of the debut, Cry suffers from Gonzalez’ sometimes witless and earnest lyrics which are mirrored in the lackluster pace which makes one desperate for the sex to be over so one can get back to smoking. Cry aims for Lynch/Badalamenti atmospherics and hits them occasionally but too often lapses into Hallmark sentimentalism. For an album ostensibly about romantic and physical love Cry is dispiritingly dry. There is only ash on these sheets. Serge Gainsbourg is somewhere rolling his eyes, and a gasper, in the velvet boudoir of eternity.

Andrew Forell

  Lucy Dacus — 2019 (Matador)

Between Historian and boygenius, Lucy Dacus had a pretty memorable 2018. It makes sense that she'd want to document 2019. What she did instead was release a series of holiday-ish tracks over the course of the year and then collect them as the 2019 EP. The covers will likely get the most attention, whether her loving take on Edith Piaf's “La vie en rose” or the rocking rendition of Wham!'s “Last Christmas.” Dacus doesn't perform these songs with any sense of snark; she's both enjoying herself and invested. Counting Bruce Springsteen's birthday as a holiday might be silly, but she nails “Dancing in the Dark,” turning it to her own aesthetic. The weird one here is “In the Air Tonight,” which smacks of irony and whatever we call guilty pleasures these days, but she plays it straight, arguing for it as a spooky Halloween cut, and sort of pulls it off.  

Focusing on the covers might lead listeners to forget how good a songwriter she is. The Mother's Day “My Mother & I” feels thoroughly like a Dacus number, opening with contemplation: “My mother hates her body / We share the same outline / She swears that she loves mine.” Holidays aren't easy. “Fool's Gold” (stick this New Year's track first or last) falls like snow, laden with regret and rationalization. Dacus works through holidays with care and concern. The covers might be fun (even the Phil Collins number works as a curiosity), but when she lets the more conflicted thoughts come through, as on “Forever Half Mast,” she maintains the hot streak. The EP might be a bit of a diversion, but its secret complexity makes it more surprisingly forceful. Justin Cober-Lake 

 Kool Keith — Computer Technology (Fat Beats)

Computer Technology by Kool Keith

Naming an album Computer Technology in 2019 is like calling a 1950 disc A Light Bulb. Ironic Luddite-ness is a part of the charm of the new Kool Keith’s album, his second this year. The record has a cyberpunk-ish (circa 1984) feel, thanks to wacky, early electronics-like beats that no sane hip hop artist today would agree to rap over. But who said Kool Keith was sane? He’s like a computer virus here, infesting a modern culture he views with disdain. His kooky brags could be written off as old man rants if he been in the rap game since day one. On “Computer Technology” he says: ‘You need to sit down and slow down’, yet he himself shows no signs of slowing down.

If Kool Keith’s 1980s science rap messed around in a high school lab, he’s now a tenured professor in hip hop science blowing up the joint.

Ray Garraty

 Leech — Data Horde (Peak Oil) 

Data Horde by Leech

Brian Foote’s work has a knack for showing up in slightly unexpected and subtly crucial places, whether it’s behind the scenes at Kranky and his own Peak Oil imprint, or as a member at times of Fontanelle or Nudge, or even just helping out Stephen Malkmus with drums. On Data Horde, his debut LP of electronic music under his Leech moniker, Foote works with his customary quiet assurance and subtly radical take on things, delivering a brief but satisfying set of bespoke productions that somehow evoke acid and ambient tinges at the same time, feinting towards full-out jungle eruptions before turning the corner and somehow naturally going somewhere much more minimal. Whether it’s the skittering, pulsing “Brace” or the lush and aptly-named “Nimble”, the results are consistently satisfying and the six tracks here suggest that we could stand to hear a lot more from Leech.  

Ian Mathers

Midnight Odyssey — Biolume Part 1: In Tartarean Chains (I, Voidhanger)

Biolume Part 1 - In Tartarean Chains by MIDNIGHT ODYSSEY

 Midnight Odyssey’s massive new record sounds like what might happen if Gary Numan’s Tubeway Army smoked up a bunch of Walter White’s finest product and decided that they must cover Pink Floyd’s Live at Pompei, complete with ruins and really big gongs. It’s interstellar. It’s perversely grandiose. The synths soar and rumble, the vocals come in mournful choral arrangements, the low end thunders and occasionally explodes into blast-beat barrage. It’s almost impossible to take seriously, and it’s presented with what seems like absolute seriousness. In any case, there’s a lot of it: seven tracks, all of which exceed the eight-minute mark, and most of which moan and intone and resonate well beyond ten minutes. You’ve got to give it to Dis Pater, the only identified member of Midnight Odyssey — he really means it. But it’s often hard to tell if Biolume Part 1 (Pater threatens that there are two more parts to come) is the product of an unchecked, idiosyncratically powerful vision or just goofball cosmological schmaltz. To this reviewer, it’s undecidable. And that’s interesting.

Jonathan Shaw

 Nakhane — You Will Not Die 

South African singer Nakhane Touré has a voice that can stop you in your tracks when he unleashes it, and a willingness to tackle uncomfortable topics (homosexuality, colonialism, and the way the imported Presbyterian church interacts with both) that’s seen him both praised and threatened in his homeland. You Will Not Die marks a shift in Nakhane’s music, both in terms of how directly and intensely he engages with those places where the sacred rubs up against, not so much the profane but the disavowed, even while sonically everything is lusher and brighter, whether it’s the slinky electroglam of “Interloper” or the bell-tolling balladry of “Presbyteria.” For once it’s worth seeking the deluxe edition, for the Bowie-esque Anohni duet “New Brighton” and the defiantly melancholy cover of “Age of Consent” alone.

 Matthew J. Rolin — Matthew J. Rolin (Feeding Tube)

Matthew J. Rolin by Matthew J. Rolin

Matthew J. Rolin steps to the head of the latest class of American Primitive guitarists on this self-titled debut LP. He is currently a resident of Columbus, Ohio, but his main inspirations from within the genre are Chicagoan. Reportedly a Ryley Walker concert sent him down the solo guitar path, but the one time this reviewer caught him in concert, Rolin only made one substance-oriented statement throughout the set, and it was more of a shy assertion than an extravagant boast. His sound more than pays the toll. Bright and ringing on 12 strings, pithy and structurally sound on six, he makes sparing use of outdoor sound and keyboard drones that bring Daniel Bachman to mind. Like Bachman did on his early records, Rolin often relies upon the rush of his fingerpicking to draw the listener along, and what do you know? It works.

Bill Meyer

  Claire Rousay — Aerophobia (Astral Spirits)

Aerophobia by Claire Rousay

To watch Claire Rousay perform is to see the process of deciding made visual. You can’t put that on a tape, but you can make the tape a symbolic and communicative object. To see Rousay repeatedly, or to play her recordings in sequence, is to hear an artist who is rapidly transforming. This one was already a bit behind her development when it was released, but that can be turned into a statement, too. Perhaps the title Aerophobia, which means fear of flying, is a critique of the tape’s essentially musical content? It is a series of drum solos, unlike the more the more recent t4t, which includes self-revealing speech and household sounds. If so, that critique does not reproach the music itself, nor should it. Even when you can’t see her, you can hear her sonic resourcefulness and appreciate the movement and shape she articulates with sound.

Bill Meyer

 Colin Andrew Sheffield & James Eck Rippie — Exploded View (Elevator Bath)

exploded view by colin andrew sheffield & james eck rippie

Colin Andrew Sheffield, who is the proprietor of the Elevator Bath imprint, and James Eck Rippie, who does sound work for Hollywood movies, have this understanding in common: they know that you gotta break things to make things. The things in question don’t even have to be intact when you start; at any rate, the feedback, microphone bumps, blips and skips that make up this 19-minute long piece of musique concrete sound like the product of generations of handling. It all feels a bit like you’re hearing a scan of the shortwave bands from inside the radio, which makes for delightfully disorienting listening.

Bill Meyer

 Ubik — Next Phase (Iron Lung)

Next Phase MLP (LUNGS-148) by UBIK

 Philip K. Dick’s whacko-existentialist-corporate-satire-cum-SF-novel Ubik turns 50 this year, and serendipitously, Australian punks Ubik have released this snarling, tuneful EP into the world. There’s a whole lot of British street punk, c. 1982, in Ubik’s sound, especially if that genre tag and year make you flash on Lurkers, Abrasive Wheels and Angelic Upstarts — bands that knew how to string melodic hooks together, and bands that had pretty solid lefty politics. Ubik’s songs couple street punk’s populist (in the pre-Trump sense) fist-pumping with a spastic, elastic angularity, giving the tracks just enough of a weirdo vibe that the band’s name makes sense. The combination of elements is vividly present in “John Wayne (Is a Cowboy (and Is on Twitter)),” a hugely fun punk song that registers a fair degree of ideological venom as it bashes and speeds along. Somewhere, Horselover Fat is nodding his head and smiling. 

Jonathan Shaw

 Uranium Club — Two Things at Once (Sub Pop)

Uranium Club (sometimes Minneapolis Uranium club) made one of the best punk albums of this year in The Cosmo Cleaners. “A visionary insanity, backed by impressive musical chops,” I opined in Dusted last April, setting off a frenzy of interest and an epic major label bidding war. Just kidding. Hardly anyone noticed. Uranium Club was this year’s Patois Counselors, a band so good that it made no sense that no one knew about them. But, fast forward to now and LOOK at the heading of this review! Sub Pop noticed and included Uranium Club in its storied singles club. And why not? The bluntly named “Two Things at Once,” (Parts I and 2), is just as tightly, maniacally wound as the full-length, just as gloriously, spikily confrontational. “Part 1” scrambles madly, pulling hair out by the roots as it agitatedly considers “our children’s creativity” and whether “I’m too young to die.” It’s like Fire Engines, but faster and crazier and with big pieces of machinery working loose and flying off the sides. “Part 2” runs slower and more lyrically but with no less intensity, big flayed slashes of discord rupturing its meditative strumming. There are no words in it, and yet you sense deep, obsessive bouts of agitation driving its motor, even when the brass comes in, unexpectedly, mournfully, near the end. This is the good stuff, and no one wants you to know about it. Except me. And now Sub Pop. Don’t miss out.

Jennifer Kelly

 Various Artists— Come on up to the House: Women Sing Waits (Dualtone)

Come On Up To The House: Women Sing Waits by Dualtone Music Group, Inc.

Tom Waits’ gravelly voice is embedded deep in the fabric of how we think of Tom Waits songs. You can’t think of “Come On Up to the House” without sandpapery catch in its gospel curves, or of “Downtown Train” without his strangled desolation; he is the songs, and if you don’t like the way he sings, you’ve probably never cared much for his recordings. And yet, here, in this all-woman, star-studded, country-centric collection of covers, you can hear, maybe for the first time, how gracefully constructed these songs are, how pretty the melodies, how well the lyrics fit to them. You cannot believe how different these songs sound with women singing. It is truly revelatory. Contributors include big stars (Aimee Mann, Corinne Rae Bailey), living legends (Iris Dement, Roseanne Cash), up-and-comers (Courtney Marie Andrews, Phoebe Bridgers) and a few emerging artists (Joseph, The Wild Reeds), and all have a case to make. Phoebe Bridgers distills “Georgia Lee” into a quiet, tragic purity, while Angie McMahon finds a private, inward-looking clarity in “Take It With Me.” Courtney Marie Andrews blows up “Downtown Train,” into a swaggering country anthem, while Roseanne Cash infuses “Time” with a warm, unforced glow. These versions transform weird, twisted reveries into American songbook classics, which is what they maybe were, under all that growling, all along.

Jennifer Kelly

[independentartistbuzz]

7 FROM THE WOMEN: LIZA GRABOWSKI FROM THE NORMAL LIVING

7 From The Women is a segment here on Independent Artist Buzz where we ask some of the industries finest seven questions. During this time of accusations and the lack thereof, we think it’s important to give women a voice. We chose to ask seven questions to honor the seven Wiccan clans.

Liza Grabowski is a vocalist and guitarist in one of our favorite bands, The Normal Living. From NJ on the edges of NYC, the band blends urban ideas and images with rock and roll, Americana, and folk-rock sounds, while summoning the fun of pop. With singer-songwriter roots and bar-band beginnings, their influences are eclectic, ranging from Carole King, Springsteen, and U2 to the Killers, Arcade Fire, Jenny Lewis, and Neko Case, from Fleetwood Mac, and Heart to Patty Griffin and the Dixie Chicks, helping to carry on the story of American rock and roll songwriting in the millennial age.

What have you been working to promote lately?

First of all, thank you so much for having me for this interview! I love what your site does for independent musicians, and I love how this series features and supports women artists.

Right now, my band (The Normal Living) is about to release some tracks that I’m really proud of as a woman, as a thirty-something, and as an independent artist. The first single from this new record is called “How It All Went Down,” releasing on Oct. 25. This song is really special to us. It was a full collaborative effort in writing, arranging, and eventually producing this track (with producer Chris Badami of Portrait Recordings in NJ). It’s a powerful, up-tempo song, with a big rock sound, driving guitars, beautiful piano, and female vocals and harmonies. It’s told in part from the perspective of a mother, and it’s mostly a portrait of a family after a crisis, and how you move on from that. The song kind of builds emotionally, with sort of a cathartic release at the end, when the floodgates open and you can finally attempt to deal with unfathomable grief you’ve held inside for so long, for years and years maybe. Motherhood was central to me emotionally while writing it—my favorite line in the song is “Holding up to the light everything that I taught her”—but it’s also broader than that. It’s really about how any community struggles to come to terms with trauma, loss, and grief. As a band, with this new set of songs that we’ve been working on, we’re trying to explore themes of storytelling, narrative, and memory.

Please tell us about your favorite song written, recorded, or produced by another woman and why it’s meaningful to you.

I think if I had to pick one song that was my favorite song by a woman, I think I might go to Carole King’s “Natural Woman” for that. I remember my mom and dad bought Tapestry for me for my birthday when we first got a CD player. I’m pretty sure it was 1987, because they also bought me True Blue, Tiffany, and Out of the Blue at the same time. And I guess I was a little bit young for the themes, but I remember just loving it. Not in the same way I loved True Blue—which also felt grown up to me, but in a more salacious, edgy way—with Tapestry, I loved it the way you love an old doll or a cozy bed. I loved her raw vulnerable voice—and I remember that it stirred something in me about womanhood that the pop music of the day wasn’t doing in the same way. When I listened to Tapestry for the first time, I already knew the Aretha version of “Natural Woman.” But King’s vocal on that song, on the album, just sort of blew my mind in a way. It was the first time I realized that a “song” was not equivalent to the recording of a song—that a song is this living breathing thing that could be a vehicle for extremely personal intimacy. Even though I knew the lyrics and the melody already from the Aretha version, when I listened to King sing it, I felt like I was hearing something so brand new. Both versions are so amazing; that’s what I think was so mind-blowing to me at the time.

What does it mean to you to be a woman making music / in the music business today, and do you feel a responsibility to other women to create messages and themes in your music?

I do—more so now as a mother, I think. My daughter is 4, and as a writer and a singer, I think about her all the time. What do I want for her, and what would I tell myself if I was 4 again? To every woman, young or middle aged or older, I feel a responsibility—both in my songwriting and in my own persona—to represent women as strong and empowered. But I also think it’s really important to show women characters as vulnerable and flawed and real. Maybe some days you feel like a queen, but maybe other days you feel hopeless and messy and frazzled. It’s ok. It’s ok to feel both and inhabit both spaces. You’re a real person with real feelings, and you’re not made to be looked at or objectified—you have agency and emotions and ideas that have value. I think that being a woman artist, you do have to step back sometimes to be aware of all the crap we’ve internalized from growing up in a patriarchal society. There’s one song of mine that always triggers a self-reflexive feminist critique. It’s called “Time Out, New York,” from our first EP, Less Radio. On the surface, it’s very much a portrait of a woman sitting on the sidelines, cheering on her boyfriend on stage from the back of the bar. But when I perform it now, I try to be wry and sort of ironically meta about it, knowing that I’m the one on stage singing the song. From the song’s inception, I have always imagined doing a video in which the gender roles are reversed, depicting a woman on stage, singing about a man on stage, while her partner watches her from the bar. I also sometimes imagine queering it a bit and changing the lyrics to be a woman singing about another woman. I’m not sure if I’m trying to salvage a not-so-feminist lyric that I’m a little self-conscious about, or if there are really genuine layers of irony in the song about a male performer, viewed through a female gaze, that’s written and performed by a woman. (I’m hoping it’s the latter!) In any case, yes, it’s something I’m always thinking about, and growing as an artist as I grow as a human being navigating adulthood.

What is the most personal thing you have shared in your music or in your artist brand as it relates to being female?

Honestly, I think sometimes just being onstage in and of itself as a woman musician is one of the most personal things to share. It makes you vulnerable and takes courage, especially if you don’t fit the traditional mold of a pop star or a rock star or a celebrity. I consciously battle my insecurities about my body, my age, how I look, and how I sound every single time I go on a stage or in front of a camera. I try to remember what’s important as an artist is being brave and doing the things that scare you, to put your art out into the world, to tell stories, even if you have to go out of your comfort zone to do that.

What female artists have inspired you and influenced you?

I’m trying to think back on my musical journey as a child, because I have been alive to witness four decades of music. And I watched MTV from the very beginning, so music videos and images of rock and pop stars were extremely foregrounded for me. I also was fortunate to be raised by music lovers, so I was introduced to a lot of previous decades of rock and pop as well as a child. This is a long and rambling way of saying that I’ve had a ton of female musical influences from all different eras and genres. As a young child, I remember Stevie Nicks, Madonna, Whitney Houston, Heart, The Bangles, The GoGos, Pat Benatar, Patty Smyth, and Debbie Gibson—all of those women were on my horizon when I was a kid from MTV and the radio. From my parents, I was exposed to Carole King, Patti Smith, Joni Mitchell, and 60s girl groups—my mom was a huge fan of the Supremes, and so we listened to a lot of those records.

MTV was really huge in my house in the 80s. I remember singing “Stand Back” by Stevie Nicks with my sister. I remember dancing to Laura Branigan and Whitney Houston songs, belting out “Gloria” and performing “The Greatest Love of All” in my second-grade talent show with a Fisher Price microphone. I embraced all kinds of genres and styles as a child. I just loved the female voice having such a platform, giving representation to women. I obviously didn’t process it in those terms at the time, but I think looking back, that’s exactly what it was that resonated with me. Then as I moved into adolescence, really the 2 biggest influences for me as a musician were Alanis Morrisette and The Dixie Chicks. I just felt that they were writing and playing and performing in ways that broke boundaries for women. Then into my 20s—Jewel was huge for me. I remember really connecting with her story about how she was down to her last dime and playing in cafes and on sidewalks, and I was so inspired by that tenacity. I also really connected with some American folk singer-songwriters at the time too. I was obsessed with Patty Griffin; I discovered her mainly through the Dixie Chicks and just started listening to everything I could of hers. And then I realized that she had done a cover of “Stolen Car” by Bruce Springsteen, who was my favorite artist growing up, and when I heard Patty’s version of it, I just kinda melted into a puddle. I just thought it was so gorgeous, and her take on it from a female perspective just took me to another place. The other person was influential for me in my 20s was Dar Williams; she truly influenced my songwriting in terms of telling stories and also just writing an album that’s cohesive and meaningful. Sheryl Crow was huge for me as a rock vocalist. I think I sang Leaving Las Vegas hundreds of times in my dorm room as a college student, trying to get it perfect and trying to get that mournful but strong rock vocal. Now in this decade, I am really looking to women like Brandi Carlile, Elle King, and Grace Potter as examples of women who are keeping rock alive.  

Who was the first female artist you saw that made you want to create music / be in the business?

The first concert I ever saw was Debbie Gibson when I was six, I believe—or maybe eight, I think, because it was actually the Electric Youth tour that I saw, so maybe I was eight or nine. I had basically memorized Out of the Blue, and then Electric Youth was also a smash for me too. I remember reading articles about her and being so motivated that she arranged, wrote, produced, and performed all of her songs. I said, I want to be like that. I want to DO that. So my sister and brother and I had this black-and-white composition notebook when we were little, and we used to write songs in it. We’d have songwriting sessions where we would write lyrics and jot notes down about the instrumental arrangements, and then we’d perform them for our parents and grandparents. That was one of the earliest times I can remember getting into what it means to produce a song or think about the structure of a song.

If you could form an all-woman super-group who would play in it?

I love this question, because I’m really loving The Highwomen album that came out in September; it’s just so beautiful and all of the women are such powerful energies. I think in my fantasy world, my all-woman super-group would be Elle King, Miranda Lambert, Natalie Maines, and of course me.

Connect with Liza and The Normal Living online via:

https://www.facebook.com/thenormalliving/

https://www.instagram.com/the_normal_living/

https://twitter.com/thenormalliving

https://soundcloud.com/thenormalliving

https://www.youtube.com/user/lmz27

https://www.bandsintown.com/a/2970646-the-normal-living

https://www.songkick.com/artists/6404764-normal-living

https://open.spotify.com/artist/4ftWbprw62ADY9lchhlITg?si=UvY74t_XQj2VnjWvZ3lufQ

https://music.apple.com/us/artist/the-normal-living/592223705

[ts1989fanatic]

When pop megastar Taylor Swift praised two Democratic candidates in her home state of Tennessee, she broke a years-long policy of keeping her politics to herself.

Taylor Swift breaks political silence to endorse Democrats in US midterms

Her endorsements drew much praise but also a fierce backlash. Some white supremacists who have formed an odd cult following around the singer cried betrayal, while some more mainstream fans said she should have stuck to her music.

On Monday, Donald Trump joined in, saying he now liked Swift’s music “about 25% less��.

Criticism is nothing new for Swift, whose political silence has drawn just as much vitriol as her decision to speak out.

In an Instagram post on Sunday night, Swift threw her support behind Phil Bredesen, candidate for Senate, and Jim Cooper for the US

She wrote: “In the past I’ve been reluctant to publicly voice my political opinions. I feel very differently about that now. I always have and always will cast my vote based on which candidate will protect and fight for the human rights I believe we all deserve in this country. I believe in the fight for LGBTQ rights, and that any form of discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender is WRONG.

“I believe that the systemic racism we still see in this country towards people of color is terrifying, sickening and prevalent.”

Swift, 28, has previously stayed scrupulously neutral, frustrating many liberals. She has said that as a young woman whose expertise is in music, she does not feel right influencing her fans’ politics.

“I don’t talk about politics because it might influence other people,” she told Time magazine six years ago. “And I don’t think that I know enough yet in life to be telling people who to vote for.”

On the day of the 2016 election, she urged fans to vote but did not reveal how she would cast her own ballot. “Who is Taylor Swift voting for?” was a top search on Google.

She inched closer to revealing a liberal orientation when she tweeted support for last year’s Women’s March, saying: “So much love, pride, and respect for those who marched. I’m proud to be a woman today, and every day.”

That wasn’t enough for critics, who questioned why she didn’t attend. One writer called her comments a “craven” way of “reducing the political protest to a girl power party”.

Swift’s public neutrality allowed fans to project views on to her. She developed a following among white supremacists, who held her up as the ideal of white femininity. The singer’s lawyers went after one blogger. Critics wondered why she wouldn’t publicly denounce neo-Nazi fans.

Swift even sparked controversy with a short Instagram post marking her birthday at the end of 2017, where she said she “couldn’t have asked for a better year”. Those who saw little to celebrate in the first year of the Trump presidency begged to differ.

So it was no surprise that Swift’s decision to finally wade into politics sparked backlash of its own. Those rightwing fans, for one, were incensed.

“Oh yay! Another literally retarded celebrity the left can fawn over while we make fun of her and them for being retarded,” wrote one poster on the often-controversial online message board 4chan.

“Taylor swift just ended her entire career lmao,” [sic] another poster wrote. A third chimed in: “Guys I think those fucking cultists who tortment [sic] us killed Taylor Swift and replaced her with a brain dead [non-playable character]. Those fuckers have gone too far this time. I will defend the honor of my lady Taylor Swift and find a way to return her to normal.”

Mainstream Republicans were also displeased, posting a response promising she would not be able to, in the words of one of her hits, “shake it off”.

So it was no surprise that Swift’s decision to finally wade into politics sparked backlash of its own. Those rightwing fans, for one, were incensed.

“Oh yay! Another literally retarded celebrity the left can fawn over while we make fun of her and them for being retarded,” wrote one poster on the often-controversial online message board 4chan.

“Taylor swift just ended her entire career lmao,” [sic] another poster wrote. A third chimed in: “Guys I think those fucking cultists who tortment [sic] us killed Taylor Swift and replaced her with a brain dead [non-playable character]. Those fuckers have gone too far this time. I will defend the honor of my lady Taylor Swift and find a way to return her to normal.”

Mainstream Republicans were also displeased, posting a response promising she would not be able to, in the words of one of her hits, “shake it off”.

Bredesen thanked the pop star, tweeting: “I’m honored to have your support and that of so many Tennesseans who are ready to put aside the partisan shouting and get things done. We’re ready for it.”

The Democrat also taunted his opponent with lyrics from Look What You Made Me Do, a hit on Swift’s last album, Reputation.

“@VoteMarsha, look what you made her do,” Bredesen tweeted at Blackburn. “@taylorswift13 doesn’t like your little games and she wants Tennesseans to know that you’ve been in the swamp long enough. It’s time for some fresh air up in Washington.”

Swift’s history with rapper Kanye West – who memorably interrupted her speech at an awards show and has become a prominent Trump supporter – also provided plenty of grist for delighted Democrats.

Scott Dworkin, co-founder of the anti-Trump Democratic Coalition, wrote: “Taylor Swift just took the mic from Kanye.”

Celebrity endorsements, however, do not always guarantee an edge. In 2016, Hillary Clinton was supported by Jay-Z and Beyoncé in Ohio, Bruce Springsteen in Pennsylvania and Jennifer Lopez in Florida. All three states went for Trump.

ts1989fanatic oh look another Taylor Swift is over party proclamation or in this case her career is over party.

Well we have seen this before and as Taylor herself says.

Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time

I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined

I check it once, then I check it twice, oh

Marsha Blackburn is on that list as is Jody Ball

[brookston]

Holidays 9.11

Holidays

Battle of Tendra Day (Russia)

Coptic New Year

Day of Remembrance

Eleven Days of Global Unity begins [thru 21st]

Eleven Days of Global Unity, Day 1: Unity

Emergency Number Day

Enkutatash (Ethiopia, Rastafari) [Non-Leap Years; 1st Day of Mäskäräm]

Fiesta Nacional de Cataluña (Catalonia, Spain)

Hoover Dam Day

I Want to Start My Own Business Day

Jinnah Day (Founder’s Day; Pakistan)

Keddus Johanness (Geez New Year; Eritrea)

Libraries Remember Day

Make Your Bed Day

National Day of Catalonia

National Day of Service and Remembrance

National Emergency Responders Day

National Hug Your Boss Day [also 4th Friday]

National 911 Emergency Day

National Tricky Handshake Day

New Year's Day (a.k.a. Nayrouz; Coptic Ethiopia) [Non-Leap Years]

9/11 Remembrance Day

No News Is Good News Day

Nuakhai (Odisha, India)

Odd Day

Paryushana Parva (Jainism)

Patriot Day

Pohnpei Liberation Day (Micronesia)

Queen Paola’s Birthday (Belgium)

Remember Freedom Day

Sustainable House Day

Teachers’ Day (Argentina)

Thimphu Drubchoe (Bhutan)

Women’s Baseball Day

World Wildlife Fund Day

Wrench in the Works Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Hot Cross Bun Day

2nd Sunday in September

Auditor's Day [2nd Sunday]

Day of the Homeland (Germany) [2nd Sunday]

Grandparent's Day [Sunday after 1st Monday]

Great Procession of Tournai (Belgium) [2nd Sunday]

Hug Your Hound Day [2nd Sunday]

Joust of the Quintana: La Rivincita (The Rematch; Italy) [2nd or 3rd Sunday, Pt. 1 in July]

National Pet Memorial Day [2nd Sunday]

Racial Justice Sunday [2nd Sunday]

Sustainable House Day [2nd Sunday]

Feast Days

Casey (Muppetism)

Day of Thoth (Ancient Egypt)

Deiniol (Christian; Saint)

Felix, Regula, and Exuperantius (Christian; Saint)

Francesco Bonifacio (Christian; Blessed)

Harry Burleigh (Episcopal Church)

John Gabriel Perboyre (Christian; One of Martyr Saints of China)

Leudinus (Bobo; Christian; Saint)

Moreto (Positivist; Saint)

Our Lady of Coromoto (Christian; Saint)

Paphnutius of Thebes (Roman Catholic Church)

Patiens of Lyon (Christian; Saint)

Protus and Hyacinth (Christian; Martyrs)

Sacrifice to Zeus Epoptes (Ancient Greece)

Sperandia (Christian; Saint)

Theodora of Alexandria (Christian; Saint)

Tinfoil Hat Day (Pastafarian)

Vincent of Leon (Christian; Saint)

Werewolf Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Historically Unlucky Day [9 of 11]

Taian (大安 Japan) [Lucky all day.]

Uncyclopedia Bad to Be Born Today (because of something to do with crazy people and planes.)

Premieres

The Carol Burnett Show (TV Series; 1967)

Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchet (Novel; 1989) [Discworld #8]

The Jackson Five (Animated TV Series; 1971)

Life of Pi, by Yann Martel (Novel; 2001)

Little House on the Prairie (TV Series; 1974)

Oh! Susanna, by Stephen Foster (Song; 1848)

The Rake’s Progress, by Igor Stravinsky (Opera; 1951)

Saint Louis Blues, by W.C. Handy (Song; 1914)

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, by Ann Brashares (Novel; 2001)

Slums of Beverly Hills (Film; 1998)

Stagger Lee, recorded by Lloyd Price (Original Uncensored Song; 1958)

A Wanted Man, 17th Jack Reacher book, by Lee Child (Novel; 2012)

The Wild, the Innocent and the E Street Shuffle, by Bruce Springsteen (Album; 1973)

Today’s Name Days

Helga (Austria)

Bonaventura, Feliks, Hijacint (Croatia)

Denisa (Czech Republic)

Hillebert (Denmark)

Aalo, Aleks, Aleksander, Sander, Sanno, Sass (Estonia)

Ale, Aleksandra, Aleksanteri, Ali, Sandra, Santeri, Santtu (Finland)

Adelphe, Glenn, Vinciane (France)

Felix, Helga, Louis (Germany)

Efrosynos, Evanthia, Evanthis, Theodora, Theodora (Greece)

Teodóra (Hungary)

Diomede, Fausto, Felice (Italy)

Ģirts, Nansija, Signe, Signija (Latvia)

Augantas, Gytautė, Gytė, Helga (Lithuania)

Dag, Dagny (Norway)

Feliks, Jacek, Jan, Naczesław, Prot (Poland)

Bystrik (Slovakia)

Teodora (Spain)

Dagny, Helny (Sweden)

Fialka, Theodora, Violet (Ukraine)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 254 of 2022; 111 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 7 of week 36 of 2022

Celtic Tree Calendar: Muin (Vine) [Day 9 of 28]

Chinese: Month 8 (Guìyuè), Day 16 (Ding-Mao)

Chinese Year of the: Tiger (until January 22, 2023)

Hebrew: 15 ʼĔlūl 5782

Islamic: 14 Ṣafar 1444

J Cal: 14 Aki; Sixday [14 of 30]

Julian: 29 August 2022

Moon: 98%: Waning Gibbous

Positivist: 2 Shakespeare (10th Month) [Moreto]

Runic Half Month: Ken (Illumination) [Day 2 of 15]

Season: Summer (Day 82 of 90)

Zodiac: Virgo (Day 19 of 31)

[tabloidtoc]

In Touch, November 23

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Alex Trebek 

Page 1: Contents 

Page 2: Who Wore It Better? Brooke Burke vs. Kristin Chenoweth vs. Gabrielle Haugh vs. Kristen Taekman all in Kittenish 

Page 4: As far as Caitlyn Jenner is concerned her daughters Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner are long past keeping up with the Kardashians -- she boasted of her daughters that both are good at business and having a good business mind that will last so much longer than the show will 

Page 5: Man Candy of the Week -- Richard McCluskey who graces the Australian Firefighters 2021 calendar, Number of the Week -- 73 years Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip have been married, Pot-Stirrer of the Week -- Matthew McConaughey joking after being asked about the sexual tension during Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s virtual read of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, No Regrets of the Week -- Clare Crawley after being criticized for leaving The Bachelorette early to be with contestant Dale Moss 

Page 6: Crib of the Week -- Khloe Kardashian’s Calabasas mansion sold, Makeover of the Week -- Olivia Culpo debuted bangs, Winner of the Week -- Bruce Springsteen becomes the first artist to have a Top 5 album in each of the last six decades, Loser of the Week -- Jaden Smith is blasted by fans who assume he was mocking COVID victims by wearing an oxygen mask to Kendall Jenner’s birthday costume party but he has hinted that he came as a character from Tenet 

Page 8: Up Close -- Kim Kardashian shared a photo from her 40th birthday trip including sisters Kendall Jenner and Kourtney Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian 

Page 9: Camila Cabello stops her dog Leo from chasing after another dog 

Page 10: Demi Lovato makes new friends at Farm Sanctuary, Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger with sheep Clementine and Cupid 

Page 12: Skai Jackson and her Dancing With the Stars partner Alan Bersten, Bobby Flay, Keith L. Williams and Miya Cech and Ben Daon and Kayden Grace Swan celebrate the premiere of the action series The Astronauts 

Page 14: Armed & Dangerous -- Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson working out, Joe Manganiello shows off his blue Mohawk and bulging biceps, Liam Hemsworth gets all pumped up at the gym 

Page 16: Ben Affleck shows off his recent weight loss for his return as Batman in Zack Snyder’s Justice League while out in L.A. 

Page 18: Queen Elizabeth wearing a face mask in public for the first time in London, Rita Ora on the red carpet at the MTV Europe Music Awards in London, Nick Viall relaxes in the bathtub 

Page 20: Body News -- here are some star-tested tips to ward off those extra holiday pounds 

Page 22: Cover Story -- Alex Trebek’s amazing life and legacy -- the Jeopardy! host tragically loses his battle with pancreatic cancer but his memory will live on in the hearts of his wife and his children and his fans 

Page 26: A wedding and a baby for Clare Crawley -- Bachelorette Clare is moving fast with her fiance Dale Moss 

Page 28: Al Roker’s brave battle -- Al takes a break from Today in the wake of his cancer diagnosis 

Page 30: Brian Austin Green vs. His Exes -- Brian is publicly shamed by the three women in his life Megan Fox and Vanessa Marcil and Courtney Stodden and the worst is yet to come 

Page 32: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in October began a private custody trial that’s expected to yield a final ruling in December but Brad visited Angelina at her Los Feliz home five minutes away from his L.A. compound to plead with her to stop the madness now for the sake of their six kids because he’s tired of fighting and he’s exhausted and the kids hate it and even the lawyers are fatigued but although Angie didn’t shut him down she didn’t agree to anything either

Page 33: Emma Roberts’ baby daddy Garrett Hedlund was arrested on January 24 for driving under the influence and his blood alcohol level was four times the legal limit and in a plea deal he was required to complete a 30-day residential treatment program and a nine-month first-offender alcohol and drug education counseling program which was successful 

Page 36: The Big Interview -- Joel McHale -- I love giving money away -- the funnyman opens up about his favorite part of hosting the high-stakes game show Card Sharks 

Page 42: Animal Overload -- My dog looks like Steve Harvey 

Page 46: Horoscope -- Sagittarius Hailey Baldwin turned 24 on November 22 

Page 48: Last Laughs 

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 9.11

Holidays

Battle of Tendra Day (Russia)

Coptic New Year

Day of Remembrance

Eleven Days of Global Unity begins [thru 21st]

Eleven Days of Global Unity, Day 1: Unity

Emergency Number Day

Enkutatash (Ethiopia, Rastafari) [Non-Leap Years; 1st Day of Mäskäräm]

Fiesta Nacional de Cataluña (Catalonia, Spain)

Hoover Dam Day

I Want to Start My Own Business Day

Jinnah Day (Founder’s Day; Pakistan)

Keddus Johanness (Geez New Year; Eritrea)

Libraries Remember Day

Make Your Bed Day

National Day of Catalonia

National Day of Service and Remembrance

National Emergency Responders Day

National Hug Your Boss Day [also 4th Friday]

National 911 Emergency Day

National Tricky Handshake Day

New Year's Day (a.k.a. Nayrouz; Coptic Ethiopia) [Non-Leap Years]

9/11 Remembrance Day

No News Is Good News Day

Nuakhai (Odisha, India)

Odd Day

Paryushana Parva (Jainism)

Patriot Day

Pohnpei Liberation Day (Micronesia)

Queen Paola’s Birthday (Belgium)

Remember Freedom Day

Sustainable House Day

Teachers’ Day (Argentina)

Thimphu Drubchoe (Bhutan)

Women’s Baseball Day

World Wildlife Fund Day

Wrench in the Works Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Hot Cross Bun Day

2nd Sunday in September

Auditor's Day [2nd Sunday]

Day of the Homeland (Germany) [2nd Sunday]

Grandparent's Day [Sunday after 1st Monday]

Great Procession of Tournai (Belgium) [2nd Sunday]

Hug Your Hound Day [2nd Sunday]

Joust of the Quintana: La Rivincita (The Rematch; Italy) [2nd or 3rd Sunday, Pt. 1 in July]

National Pet Memorial Day [2nd Sunday]

Racial Justice Sunday [2nd Sunday]

Sustainable House Day [2nd Sunday]

Feast Days

Casey (Muppetism)

Day of Thoth (Ancient Egypt)

Deiniol (Christian; Saint)

Felix, Regula, and Exuperantius (Christian; Saint)

Francesco Bonifacio (Christian; Blessed)

Harry Burleigh (Episcopal Church)

John Gabriel Perboyre (Christian; One of Martyr Saints of China)

Leudinus (Bobo; Christian; Saint)

Moreto (Positivist; Saint)

Our Lady of Coromoto (Christian; Saint)

Paphnutius of Thebes (Roman Catholic Church)

Patiens of Lyon (Christian; Saint)

Protus and Hyacinth (Christian; Martyrs)

Sacrifice to Zeus Epoptes (Ancient Greece)

Sperandia (Christian; Saint)

Theodora of Alexandria (Christian; Saint)

Tinfoil Hat Day (Pastafarian)

Vincent of Leon (Christian; Saint)

Werewolf Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Historically Unlucky Day [9 of 11]

Taian (大安 Japan) [Lucky all day.]

Uncyclopedia Bad to Be Born Today (because of something to do with crazy people and planes.)

Premieres

The Carol Burnett Show (TV Series; 1967)

Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchet (Novel; 1989) [Discworld #8]

The Jackson Five (Animated TV Series; 1971)

Life of Pi, by Yann Martel (Novel; 2001)

Little House on the Prairie (TV Series; 1974)

Oh! Susanna, by Stephen Foster (Song; 1848)

The Rake’s Progress, by Igor Stravinsky (Opera; 1951)

Saint Louis Blues, by W.C. Handy (Song; 1914)

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, by Ann Brashares (Novel; 2001)

Slums of Beverly Hills (Film; 1998)

Stagger Lee, recorded by Lloyd Price (Original Uncensored Song; 1958)

A Wanted Man, 17th Jack Reacher book, by Lee Child (Novel; 2012)

The Wild, the Innocent and the E Street Shuffle, by Bruce Springsteen (Album; 1973)

Today’s Name Days

Helga (Austria)

Bonaventura, Feliks, Hijacint (Croatia)

Denisa (Czech Republic)

Hillebert (Denmark)

Aalo, Aleks, Aleksander, Sander, Sanno, Sass (Estonia)

Ale, Aleksandra, Aleksanteri, Ali, Sandra, Santeri, Santtu (Finland)

Adelphe, Glenn, Vinciane (France)

Felix, Helga, Louis (Germany)

Efrosynos, Evanthia, Evanthis, Theodora, Theodora (Greece)

Teodóra (Hungary)

Diomede, Fausto, Felice (Italy)

Ģirts, Nansija, Signe, Signija (Latvia)

Augantas, Gytautė, Gytė, Helga (Lithuania)

Dag, Dagny (Norway)

Feliks, Jacek, Jan, Naczesław, Prot (Poland)

Bystrik (Slovakia)

Teodora (Spain)

Dagny, Helny (Sweden)

Fialka, Theodora, Violet (Ukraine)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 254 of 2022; 111 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 7 of week 36 of 2022

Celtic Tree Calendar: Muin (Vine) [Day 9 of 28]

Chinese: Month 8 (Guìyuè), Day 16 (Ding-Mao)

Chinese Year of the: Tiger (until January 22, 2023)

Hebrew: 15 ʼĔlūl 5782

Islamic: 14 Ṣafar 1444

J Cal: 14 Aki; Sixday [14 of 30]

Julian: 29 August 2022

Moon: 98%: Waning Gibbous

Positivist: 2 Shakespeare (10th Month) [Moreto]

Runic Half Month: Ken (Illumination) [Day 2 of 15]

Season: Summer (Day 82 of 90)

Zodiac: Virgo (Day 19 of 31)