#Big Jolt
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as much as I love history and Chicago history especially, I do sometimes forget how recent everything here is. I was at the Hull House Museum with a friend of mine the other day, and we had a wonderful time listening to the curator talk about the birth of social work, the women who drove it forward, and the ghost stories that haunt their stomping grounds despite no one really dying there.
As we were walking around after the tour, my friend pointed out that Jane Addams' dress (the one on display in that room, black and small and otherwise unremarkable) had an uneven hem. "Oh, good eye!" the curator, who was walking alongside us, exclaimed. "Addams' tuberculosis left her with some spinal curvature, even after corrective surgery. She had most of her dresses altered to ensure the hem would be straight when she wore them---but on a standard dress form, the hem looks uneven."
"I always forget that having a tailor or dressmaker was considered typical back then," I said.
"No, by that point it was much more common to buy a dress from Sears and have it altered," the curator replied cheerfully. "That's what Addams did."
The whole exchange was maybe a few seconds, but it sticks with me even now. The idea that Jane Addams bought a dress from Sears---where I have also bought dresses, where my mother bought dresses---makes me feel insane. And yet, we're only talking about a hundred years ago or so. Is it so unreasonable that I, as a disaffected teen, was drifting through racks of mass-produced garments, just as Jane Addams did a century before? The exact location of the hands making those garments has changed of course; the workers' protections that Addams' contemporaries fought for have resulted in offshoring that work to less-guarded parts of the world. But it gives me a strange sort of fellow feeling to think about it, all these many decades later.
#sears went belly-up in the last 20 years but it was a staple of my childhood. a truly wild coincidence.#I also felt the same little jolt of shock when the curator said that addams worked closely with florence kelley#who earned her law degree from northwestern; and alice hamilton who got her MD from U of M#like excuse me? those are places that currently exist. those are places I could earn a JD or MD from.#that said hull house is an incredible achievement. truly. I think of how much had to happen operationally and financially#to make it viable? the number of people involved both there and in the neighborhood? I get dizzy.#.......on a less serious note I have to believe that the relationship drama happening there must have been INSANE.#there's no way you can put that many passionate over-educated reformer lesbians in a room and not have fireworks.#city of the big shoulders
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14!skk very much REAL
#lifesize fourteen squabbling.. i had to blink twice#goodsmile took it as a challenge to immortalize an infinity of skks and i have to respect that#bsd#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#the way this jolted me awake from my queued slumber#shall submerge again though bc. big ol' 'xams coming
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Was on a bit of a Splatoon kick a bit ago. So here's some recent stuff lol
Alt versions of my Octoling underneath
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Having played Mouthwashing I went back to play How Fish is Made and naturally I’m saying nothing new here but I really like how the two pieces work as a pair.
Also I now understand why I’ve seen so much art of curly in a sardine can but that’s beside the point-
#you’ll be buried with it! I guess!#how fish is made made me feel better in a way I struggle to put words around (shocker coming from person who struggles to put words around#a lot of things)#and the last one and then another gave me a big ol jolt of ideas#for fanart#waheyo#whittering#I guess my Halloween art will be my favourite flayed guy of the moment
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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#i jolted up from writing to make this btw#tumblr polls#bug race#splatfest#bug race poll#yes i did choose the placement by deciding which one i think each idol would prefer#shiver prefers caterpillars because its the only technical 'bug' and she likes logic. plus it has feet so it can walk#frye prefers worm because theyre free spirits and theyre wiggly- like dancing! they can dance their way to victory! also eel shaped#and big man prefers the snail because its slippery like him. and hes fast so its probably fast as well. plus he likes its house
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/ I've noticed that at this point I'm not even writing on any blog anymore, I just come and yell about some blorbo and leave. Rinse and repeat my lieges
#;ooc#ooc#me: -sleeps-#also me: -SUDDENLY JOLTS BACK AWAKE- I haven't expressed my love for x in some time#/usually i would feel pretty guilty about this! but lately i've been zoning out in the sense of just vibing#/im not dropping writting; im just doing something else ! when i feel the inspiration i'll drop by#would like that to come soon; i do miss writting hehe#the power a blorbo can have on a person can be a very profound and moving energy truly-#recently one of my 8376733 m.octezuma fanarts got reblobbed from some artists from aaaall across to japan and#it made me feel so giddy like!!!! no way you also like this one character that isnt even on the game!?#i haven't seen other artists being obsessed over him! he's kind of forgotten in the lb cast; it was so fun reblobbing each other's posts!#we may have a language barrier but we all love m.octe and i find that to be a lil heartwarming moment#it made me thonk;; there are so many ways to bond with people; of connecting in general#even without speaking to someone directly; there is a bond there#like i knew this existed; but experiencing it again makes u go like waow! im not alone ! not in at least one (1) way!#that there are other people out there in this big big world that would enthusiastically talk to you about the same fictional character you-#like; with a lot of love and interest#i've seen people making their own t.ezca and d.aybit plushies and putting them in cute lil clothes#or people posting about museums they got interested on visiting bc they've done a collab with f.go#its all very cute to me#its like the same energy i saw from this tktk where two girls randomly met on the street#and saw that they both had the same ita bag and they got all happy and started laughing together#or that time i was selling my stickers and someone came in and said how glad they were to find h.ypmic stuff!#if hy.pmic is quite niche nowadays; its even more from where i live!#or how excited i get if i meet someone who also plays id.v#its all a cycle of fangirling; pure joy; connections are so important!#important to know that whatever you are facing; that no matter how 'weird' you think you might be; there are a lot of people out there that#are like you and me; and its also why i like roleplaying#its like we all pull our blorbos and talk about them and get excited about it all like dolls#the sweet thing about rping is precisely the part where u connect with others
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I'm looking at the other d20 campaigns and going oohh the pirate one looks fun and FUCKING
"Unlucky" Jack Brakkow, played by Matthew Mercer
#I LITERALLY jolted in my chair#MISTER MERCER???? BACK ON MY SCREEN???#the only other players I'd be this excited about are talisin and laura. I'd be happy to see ashley or marisha or uh. the big guy TRAVIS#and even sam maybe. but fuck. it's matt mercer.#I'm like giggling and kicking my feet and blushing#cor.txt
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thinking a lot about how powerful seeing a character like aziraphale is when it comes to something like a traumatic christian upbringing. so much of his arc is directly tied to being "dirtied" by desire, by learning that the Good thing isn't always the right thing, and that's the very thing that crowley loves about him. i don't know, there's just something very potent about being loved not despite being sinful, but because of it...because it allowed you to be who you really are. i don't know if people would get it who didn't grow up in church, but watching aziraphale NOT be forgiven for some of the "wrong" parts of him (even things that are inherently unkind or selfish), and instead being loved even more for them because he is a whole and deserving person, is a lot to unpack if you've based a lot of your sense of self on the need to be perceived as Good.
im sure this isn't the only media to do this, nor am i saying it as clearly as im sure someone else has, but watching aziraphale be loved has mattered a lot to me.
#the concept of good and right and kind all being seperate things was a big worldview jolt for younger me#and it's so beautiful to see it play out on screen like this#good omens#aziraphale
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Hater shit incoming:
Yeah, Indigo Park is really cool, but it blew its load a bit too early by immediately killing off the cool stalker enemy from ch.1. The effect of the bird mimicing phrases is really neat, but you don't get to hear her do it much, especially because the warbling effect + loud af chase music drowns out what is being said, which sucks! Those voice lines are good!!
#em.txt#hey welcome to the bonus text where the hater stuff gets worse!! i promise I don't hate this game i am just. critic in the bad way#yeah i have more beef with the molly macaw chase. but first I'd like to say good on the dev for reusing the idea of the opila#from their banban reloaded. genuinely. the occasionally peaking bird that ducks behind corners is good#& it is used much better in indigo park especially because the animations are less jolting.#again back to the chase. I don't like. the ending. the blood is fine the dev mentioned he dislikes mascot horror that is afraid of blood#& wanted to set the tone immediately. i think this is a fair sentiment but the way the blood is done here#is honestly childish. the splurt is fine. the fucking AMOUNT coming from the head (especially how the texture distort looks)#is goofy as hell & tbh an easy fix is. move the big puddle of blood. from under the head. to behind the door#anyways the end of the chase is so sudden. the momentum just splats into a wall wiley Coyote style#& i appreciate the dissonance of the heartfelt talk & it's good but it's a bit soon ain't it?#not gonna address the dead ass bird?#i like what's being done i like this enemy the game looks fine. the animation of the lion getting scared is goofy#i think this can go somewhere good. i do not see how immediately killing this stalker enemy is going to do anything at all#i would have the same chase & just not kill the bird tbh#bc it makes the conversation with rambley make more sense#put the blood elsewhere. spread it out or have the player enter some silent hill ass room idfk#you can let the bird get injured but the breakneck speed of chase > bird dies > heartfelt talk > credit song is too much to me#you can clown on me if you want bc i am a hater#i like seeing a mascot horror made by a fan. i like seeing the disney park knowledge on display. i like the quiet lore.#okay i am not a fan of scripted chases in horror games. but putting it in this play structure is smart#having the bird like fly above you & cut you off if you're slow is good too#see i like the chase itself enough i just hate how it ends
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I finished reading Nynaeve's Aes Sedai testing and this chapter is bugging me: for a culmination, it's a clunky conclusion to Nynaeve's arc. Nyn is a pragmatic even when she's prideful: it feels odd that her big moment of warning the Aes Sedai about their connection to the world would come to the surface in a test that's very much made up.
The point of the test is to show she can keep her head under stress, which she did. The AS were dicks about technicalities, as always, but it's in these circumstances that Nyn would point out their isolationism and not in Kin dealing for example?
And there's the matter of why she wants to be Aes Sedai: Nyn doesn't care about that recognition from Aes Sedai, she still would be able to channel without it, and she's doing it to help Egwene's position, but she also explicitly says wants to be Aes Sedai.
Why? Is it because despite all their flaws the AS' initial purpose to serve all is strongly in line with her value of community? Probably, but we don't get that explicitly. We only get this middle ground where she's both invested in and rejecting this group.
I feel like this chapter would not feel like 3 different important Nyn plot points (testing, isolationism condamnation and Lan's bond) jammed into a chapter if the books had deigned giving her an actual arc that's not about helping Rand or Lan after the BA hunt and ter'angreal search.
Both RJ and BS love writing detailed dives into the psychology of the characters except Nyn for the last few books and it's really frustrating. The chapter in itself is quite nice, but it's the crystallisation of my dissatisfaction with Nyn's arc.
The reason why no one but Nyn could have delivered that judgement about AS is that in some ways Nyn is a reflection on the Aes Sedai's inner tensions on a micro and individual level: as a Wisdom, she holds a position of power and knowledge. Yet she fights constantly for respect and appears a bully with too much pride and too little awareness to others. She's fiercely anchored in her beliefs. Once you go on a systemic level with these elements, you get the Aes Sedai. Nyn grows, the Aes Sedai very slowly.
So this character who is all about people and healing, and still says she wants to be Aes Sedai, a rot of a public service, pretty much washes her hands of them and doesn't even work with the Kin, the actual more functional Aes Sedai entity she dreams of?
In the end, it's merely frustration because her character started as the most fascinating but ends up on the back-burner by book 8. Arcs that should have been hers are just featuring her, like the cleansing and the Kin. She has key moments but the connective tissue or word count isn't there, like a tertiary character like Siuan is used. The result is something like this chapter that feels surface level for a main character, especially in comparison with other main.
#Wot book spoilers#Wot book journey#Nynaeve al'Meara#The wheel of time#Towers of Midnight#Remblai#Like a raging sun#Just some Twitter reflections from my ToM reactions that will get cut from the edited notes#Yeah it Nynaeve feels like such a wasted opportunity#She was barely used for books and now the plot is trying to catch up with her and it feels off#On paper I love the idea of her as Rand's mentor/curator and as an anti-Aes Sedai who will jolt them awake#Particularly in concert with Egwene's reforms#But in practice she's underutilized and the narrative leaves you to make big jumps to weave her character development#Which is fine for a character like Siuan or Moiraine!#But Nyn is supposed to be one of the main five!#She should have more than that!
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They're going on a family vacation :)
I hope nothing bad happens to them on their trip
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@ everyone that left a super sweet message in their tags on the newest Shadow and Jolt update, thank you so much. Your words are so encouraging. 🥺
I'll be taking a break for the holidays but will get to work on the next pages early next year! I'm expecting there'll be about 40 more new pages left to tie the beginning arc together thus completing issue one of the series.
Issue two will mean a new cover and will start where we left off with the duo heading to Space Colony Ark!
Thank you all again for your kind words of encouragement. Doing this project is a joy in of itself but to see any enthusiasm for it really makes it all the more meaningful. Bless you all and I hope you have an electrified day!
#Shadow and Jolt#sonic fancomic#text#ramble#I honestly felt this great sense of relief and happiness when it was done#The experience of making it is a mixture of passionate joy and exhaustion or even discouragement#Life's been pretty unstable these last couple years for me so it's hard to stay on this when you feel you're on shaky ground#I allowed myself to take a break when my body couldn't be pushed any further#so I could come back to it with more energy and avoid resenting the project#I want it to be a fun happy experience for me so that even when the tedious parts of it get annoying#it doesn't turn into me wanting to start avoiding doing it at all#No matter how happy you are doing something#It can become a bad time if you start hurting yourself or feeling too obligated to get it done at some arbitrary timeline#Much as I want to release more frequently im bound by the limitations of my personal needs and priorities#just food for thought that might be encouraging for anyone else trying their hand at a big project too#Hope you're all taking care of yourselves#Be kind and loving to your bodies! We only have one!#<3 <3 <3
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why dont u like cars eca
what's there to like about em.
#eca orichird#daily eca#lil' eca#not the only one with shades and opinions (asks)#imagine you are a scrawny 4 year old runaway in a big city. the sidewalks are crowded; the afternoon sun beats down; and you're bustled#along with the movement of pedestrians because if you stop moving you're going to get trampled or caught. the movement of the crowd splits#slightly and in the blur you try to move where there's less foot traffic; hit your knees against a metal ledge; and clamber up the step#there's the sound of beeping and coins; but no one notices as you're pushed inward (you realize you're now inside something; a building?)#every chair is taken; there's a disorienting amount of people standing around you. it's loud and scary. your voice catches in your throat#and if you weren't nonverbal already; you sure are now. you dont know what’s happening. the thing you're in jolts and you'd almost fall ove#if you weren't packed in on all sides; there's a rumbling roar that mixes with the rush in your ears and through the sparse gaps in people#you can see the world passing by through glass; the thing you're in is /moving/ and you don't know where and you dont know how to escape an#you can’t find an exit and there's so many people and no one seems to care about you; you’re surrounded by legs much taller than you.#the metal around you rumbles and jolts and screeches and stops and starts and you’re knocked against strangers and you’re scared.#you are in there for an eternity; the people around you shift but more always take their place. at some point; the crowd thins a little#you scramble to follow a lady who seems to know where to go and you emerge onto a sidewalk in front of a library. you’ve never been here#you dont know how far you are from the orphanage. you dont know how to get back. you are very small and scared and feel like things are#never going to be the same again. the suffocation of the bus clings to you; though it may just be a panic attack. lady enters the library#and you unsteadily follow her inside; you spend the rest of the day hiding on a beanbag chair under the stairs and crying silently#at 4 years old this is the worst experience of your life and it sticks with you forever. not to worry though; there will be more.
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Not my ass not completing a 2/3rds finished homebrew because im tempted to write a fucking setting of all things im fucked
#its so close to being done#two or three pocket sized jolts of inspiration would be enough#whats worse is its not 1 thing#but 5 small things and a big thing#and the big thing is done#but my brain refuses to release it without completing the three remaining small things#like why is my brain like this#Oh well eventually ill get distracted from writing the setting and Ill use that chance to finish up and post the homebrew#I think yall'd find it neat#hint: expansion of a thing I made in the past to have some extra stuff
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3am. no sleep. only johnny lawrence brain worms.
#your honor i love him so much im gonna sob#its a tough job but man i do it so well#EDIT: 4am now trying not to cry cuz im a big baby with big feelings i just love him and daniel and carmen and amanda so so much imma puke#im gonna get less than 4 hours of sleep but it was worth it cuz i love them i love them i love them cry sob heave#EDIT EDIT: dont do what i did i jad a crazy dream where Andie McPhee and I were victors of the Hunger Games#but somehow i was a part of the Capitol like I had Effie'a position while she was the mentor to our tribute who was WEDNESDAY ADDAMS#anyway she was having a tough time of it and i loved her so much and there was a lot of crying cuz she wouldnt let me get close to her#idk what happened with the games or with Wednesday like she probably died. we were not focused on her at all.#ALSO before this dream i fell asleep for like 20 mins then woke up with a jolt cuz i dreamt spiders were crawling all over me!!#moral of the story: go to bed and read the fanfic in the morning
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