#Bella's a mix of live hand and regular felt

[therottenkingsreckoning]

For funsies, I decided to draw a puppet form for Yol, which I imagine to be more akin to a marionette or automaton than the other felt-based puppets on the cast.

Moving him was bizarrely complex, with many levers and dials controlling the largely internal string clusters for his multiple joints, and even the mechanisms for a full range of facial movements. It required many hours of training to get right, but the results were described as "mesmerizing", to the point where more than a few people questioned what a doll of this high quality and detail was doing on a simple kid's show. The studio itself refused to give a response.

As for material, he was made of something labeled/assumed to be wood, but which resembles no wood found on earth, and which those who handled him decribed as "strangely soft, and almost warm to the touch." It's also notable that his head contained a full set of real ivory teeth, despite such a feature not being present in any other character on the show. Further analysis is unfortunately impossible, as all 8 of the original Safety Space puppets mysteriously vanished during the summer of 1972 and have never been found since.

bonus pic of the swirl markings covering his body, which I later gaussian blurred and lowered the opacity to give that distinct velvet softness to his skin.

[evadwrites]

raised on gold stars || 1000 words || written for @sapphicmicrofics

Pairing: Narcissa/Pandora  Prompt: Smile [ April 8 ] Also read on AO3

Reputation precedes you—Narcissa has always known that. She is a Black, raised on shimmering gold stars in the palm of her hand each time she had done something right and jagged silver scars from the Cruciatus curse each time she hadn’t.

Narcissa is the third of the Black sisters; one daughter too many. She is mother’s greatest hope and father’s greatest disappointment, and both make her ache with this exquisite, one-of-a-kind feeling of never being enough. Because Narcissa never fits—too far apart from Bella and Andy in age, so unlike them in appearance, condemned to be left out.

Reputation precedes you, and the reputation of anyone in the Black family is inherited, not earned. Narcissa is the youngest of them all, so by the time she finally steps foot into Hogwarts, everybody thinks they know her, simply because they’ve talked to her sisters or cousins once or twice.

Bella is in her fifth year, and she’s the bully the likes of which Hogwarts hasn’t seen in ages; Bella says that Headmaster Dumbledore pays special attention to her, watches her during meals with a mix of recognition and apprehension in his dark blue eyes. Sirius is the  disgrace of the Noble House of Black—sorted into Gryffindor, the first Black ever to not belong to the Pure House of Slytherin. Andromeda follows suit—a mudblood sympathizer, Bella says.

So when the Sorting Hat is finally placed on a Narcissa’s platinum-haired head—odd one out, odd one out, odd one out—she prays to be in Slytherin, even though inside her lives a thirst for knowledge that, she bets, could rival Bella’s desire to constantly cause trouble.

When the hat yells out Slytherin, the reaction from the rest of the houses is subdued, while the house of silver and snakes erupts in applause. Bella gives her an approving smile so reminiscent of mother’s—or maybe even Aunt Walburga’s, come to think of it; Andy’s smile, however, is sad. Not disappointment, quite, but—Narcissa isn’t sure. She catches herself thinking that the emerald-green tie with silver stripes looks suffocating around Andy’s throat, wonders if it will look just like that on her.

But the saddest of them all is the smile of a girl with fiery-red hair Narcissa had shared a train compartment with. Her name is Lily, Narcissa knows; they’ve chatted briefly, and Narcissa learned what Lily's real smile looked like—full of unabashed wonder of everything around her, Narcissa included. And it felt good, to be seen by someone so bright and beautiful; so good, in fact, that Narcissa broke one of Mother’s main rules and hoped that, against all odds, they would be friends.

When Lily Evans is sorted into Gryffindor, Narcissa realizes that the odds will always be bigger than them. Lily's smile turns into a frown, her gaze firmly settled on Narcissa. In her forest-green eyes, there’s judgement.

Narcissa doesn’t fit.

.

Anywhere.

She's too little to hang out with Bella’s friends, too Slytherin to hang out with Sirius’, and too afraid of Mother’s wrath to hang out with Andromeda's, even though she knows Andy would welcome her with open arms.

So, instead, Narcissa spends all her time in the Hogwarts library. It’s not quite as grand as the library back home in Black Manor—not as diverse, surely; there’s not a word on dark magic in here—but, for months, it’s the closest thing Narcissa has to feeling happy.

Until, on a regular Wednesday evening in late November, Narcissa looks up from her book and meets crystalline-blue eyes of Pandora Lovegood, a first-year Ravenclaw.

And, as if she’s never heard anything about her at all—Pandora smiles.

.

For the next seven years, Pandora is the only constant Narcissa has. Because Bella leaves Hogwarts, and Andy—Andy leaves them.

Narcissa shoulders through life with more jagged silver scars all over her skin and the warmth of Pandora’s crystalline-blue eyes.

For someone who looks so alike to her, Pandora is so much warmer—her platinum hair veers into light-gold, and where Narcissa’s voice always comes out jagged, muted, overly calm, Pandora is always a bundle of energy, hyper-fixations, and gentle hums. Sometimes, she spaces out when Narcissa talks, but Narcissa doesn’t mind; she knows the trick by now—a rapid change in topic is how she gets Pandora back.

Their conversations are disjointed puzzle pieces from different sets that, somehow, fit perfectly together into a complete picture—a scenery and a portrait all at once. They hide away in the library in the evenings and exchange notes in shared classes all throughout their first year, but by the time second year comes around, Narcissa selfishly longs for more.

So she starts sneaking into the Ravenclaw common room in the middle of the night for conversations under a navy-blue duvet and a blanket of stars. The riddles are almost too easy for her, and soon enough, Pandora is determined to come up with a riddle that Narcissa won’t be able to solve.

.

It takes Pandora years, and they’re in their sixth when a shared kiss lingers in Pandora’s end-of-the-world smile as she says, “Here’s your riddle. Can a person be sure they will always be loved?”

Narcissa doesn’t need to think about it long; she rolls her eyes kindly and answers with practiced ease, “The only infinite thing in the world is the universe, and the universe is not a person. It cannot love. so, no, a person cannot be sure they will always be loved.”

“No, Narcissa,” Pandora shakes her head fondly, looks-looks-looks at Narcissa as if she’s her whole world, her entire universe, and— oh . “It’s you. You will always be loved by me. Until the stars go dark.”

Pandora keeps her word, even when, decades later, out of all the stars and galaxies and constellations of Narcissa’s family, she’s the last one standing.

Perhaps because Pandora is standing next to her, their fingers entwine. There are entire universes in Pandora’s smile, and she laughs like infinity.

[karlheisenberganyone]

This is my first post so I’m sorry if it’s bad lmao but yeaaa, this is kinda my first smut post ya knowww- but yea if it’s bad I’m sorry. Also I’m only doing this cause I’m bored asfffff 😫😫 also I might only post smut cause that’s what I’m best at cause I’m one hörny bish lmfao. So yea no one under 18 read I guess.

SMUT UNDER THIS PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Karl Heisenberg x female reader smut 18+

“Only for a bit”

Warning: cursing , kinkyyy, getting tied up, choking, pet calling (sweetheart, kitten) you also using names like sir. Just sexy stuff 😩

Enjoy <3

You were one of the 4 daughters of Lady Dimitrescu. You, Bela, Daniela, and Cassandra were treated very well, with rich delicious wine and goods. You were different from them though. All 4 of them were vampires, but you, you are an ordinary human being. Instead of eating human meat and drinking human blood, you ate normal animal meat and drank fine wine or water. It wasn’t difficult living with this family, you actually really enjoyed it. You had a wonderful mother and wonderful sisters. You felt loved and accepted in their family. You have lived with the Dimitrescu’s since a very younge age. You were brought into the family by Mother Miranda, who apparently found you in the abounded village a few miles away.

Today there was also a very important meeting being held up, and mother insisted you came over to accompany her, which you happily accepted. You were now In your bedroom, getting ready, but stopped when you heard a knock. “Sister, mother told me to bring you this dress she got made especially for you” you heard Bella say behind the door. “Oh ok, thank you very much and tell mother I’m very grateful” you said opening the door and taking the box with the dress in it. “I will, also mother wants you ready in 20 minutes” Bella said disappearing into a swarm of flies. “Ok!” You said loudly but not too loud.

You opened the box to see a gorgeous emerald green dress, with a bunch of gold swirls on the front with green gems. You slowly and carefully put the dress on and then go style your hair. You weren’t really used to these long dresses, and looking very elegant. After 20 minutes, you walked down the stairs in your heels, slowly to not fall over and make a scene of yourself. “You look absolutely stunning, as always dear” you heard your mother call out to you. “Thank you mother, and I’m very grateful for this dress. Bella told me it was specifically made for me” you tell your mother with a soft smile. “Only the best for my sweet beautiful daughter’s” your mother replied back with a soft smile. “So are you ready dear?” Your mother asked turning to look at you. “Yes mother” you said, taking your coat off the hanger and same with mother.

It was early autumn, and it was getting a tiny bit chilly. You walked down the paths, walking past many trees turning all different colours to show it was autumn. It truly was a gorgeous sight to see. After a few minutes of walking, you get to your destination. Mother opens the front door to find Donna sitting peacefully, greeting you and mother, while her doll running around laughing maniacally. Moreau was quietly lighting the candles to bring a bit of light inside. And Heisenberg no where to be seen yet. After all you were 30 minutes early. Mother sat down in her regular spot, talking to Donna about how she has been and catching up. You, you went to talk to Moreau about how well he has been. After 10 minutes of sitting down and talking to Moreau about video games he has, the door was harshly opened by a heavy boot, belonging to no other than Heisenberg. Everyone brings their attention towards the man himself, looking at his toothy white smile, greeting everyone by tilting his hat a bit and walking towards his seat. “So the dog decided to come over” mother started. “Oh shut up you bitch, I always come here for meetings, usually a bit late, but today is different!” Heisenberg said glaring at her through his glasses, and then looking at you, you looking back at him with an angry expression. “What are you frowning at kitten?” He asked you. “I do not like it when someone calls my mother in appropriate names” you said with a harsh and calm tone. “But your “dear mother” has called me a dog so I have full right to call her a bitch” he said putting his hands over he chair, and crossing his legs. “Not like she isn’t right” you mumbled, loud enough for everyone to hear you, and your mother laughing quietly.

“You wanna fight or something kitten?” He asked you leaning forward now. “No, I just don’t like my mother being called harsh words that aren’t true” you said glaring at him. But when he was about to argue, Mother Miranda has arrived, leaving Heisenberg to close his mouth and groan loud enough for you to look at him.

After about an hour or so, the meeting ended. “Y/n, dear, please do me a favour and walk home. I must talk to Mother Miranda about something very important, and I won’t be coming home any time soon” mother said. You give her a reassuring smile and a nod, putting on your coat. You weren’t scared of walking home, because you knew how to fight. You could kill and fight with no problem, after all you do live with vampires. You walked out the door, and first thing you smell is the strong smell of cigar and whiskey, telling you Heisenberg was right there, and you were right. You turned your head towards him watching him smoking his cigar with a “really, here?” look. You shake your head a bit and start walking home, but before you could go you heard him talk. “I didn’t let you go anywhere kitten did I?” He asked you, you turning around to look at him. You took a deep breath and said “no.1 I ain’t no kitten so stop with that kitten shit, and 2nd of all you ain’t my parent so I can do what I want” you said with a little smile and started walking off home.

But Heisenberg didn’t give up easily. He started following you. You turn around rapidly. “What do you want?” You asked. Heisenberg just watched you. You could feel him eye you up and down even with those glasses on. You sighed out loud and started walking again, not caring that he was right behind you anymore. “You know what kitten, come with me to my factory, I wanna show u something” he said suddenly. You turned around once again and looked at him. “Why would I go to your factory?” He sighed “Come on pet, do ya have anything betta to do? No, so come over to mine. At least I’ll have some company”. The thought of you and Heisenberg being together alone made you kind of excited. You liked this man for a bit and loved teasing and annoying him, and he loved doing the same thing.

“Fine, but only for a bit” you said, letting him go in front and lead the way. It was a small walk and you got there real quick. “So here we are, my dear factory” he said showing off his mechanical creation’s. After giving you a walk through the factory, you asked why he invited you over. “Well I had a few questions” he answered, and now ur curiosity wanted to know what he had to ask. “You look curious kitten, would ya like to know?” He asked which you responded with a nod. “Well kitten, why did you chose to listen to me and come over?” Was his question first. “I dunno, I was bored so yea” you responded. “2nd question, what’s your type?” You looked at him with a suspicious look. “Why do you want to know that?” You asked. “You really wanna know kitten?” He asked lowering his voice a bit, which makes you shiver in pleasure. “I would like to know, but is it worth it?” You asked. “Well you will have to wait and see” he said. “Come over here” he said taking his glasses off and hat, and you obeying him and come near him. You could see the lust and need in his eyes making you feel warm and tingly.

“I would like to know why you want to know my type, Heisenberg” you said getting closer to him. “You really wanna know dear?” Seeing the lust in his eyes. “Yes I do” you said, a teasing look on your face. “Cause I wanna see if I’m of any of your standards dear. I wanna see if I can claim you as mine” he said coming closer to your ear, whispering in a deep raspy voice, which made you feel wetness come over. “And what would you do to me if you were of my standards and could claim me as yours?” You asked, teasingly wanting to know his answer. “Oh I’d do a lot to you kitten~” he purred into your ear. “Could you tell me what exactly?” You asked. “Right now, I’d like to rail you right here right now, make you scream my name until you can’t speak no more, listen to your moans like some music, fuck you so hard you start shaking, tie you up and make sure you can’t fuckin escape and make you endure the pleasure” he said making him squirm under him, making you feel like a hot mess, with only words. “Can I touch you?” He asked. You nod, immediately, begging for some friction. He slowly put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him, and then taking your chin in one of his hands, and giving you a fast kiss, which soon turned into a heated make out session, his hands travelling around your body, while yours on his shoulders. Picking you up, he places you on the table behind him, throwing everything on the table onto the ground, placing you on top of it not stopping the kiss.

He soon started taking your dress off, unzipping it from the back, slowly to not make no damage. The kiss getting hotter and more heated, tasting the mix between cigar and whiskey, making your knees weak. After taking off the dress, he starts trailing kisses and bites down your jaw and kneck down to your exposed chest. He looked at you with a questionable look, and you gave him a quick nod to show him it was ok. After pleasuring you with your tits, and not getting a lot of moans out of you, it didn’t satisfy Heisenberg.

He laid you down onto your back and took of your panties. He gave you another look, and you nod. He slowly looks at you panties. “I haven’t even touched you that much, but look how fuckin wet you are kitten! And because of me and only for me” he said spreading your lips. He lowered himself biting at your thighs earning a few needy moans. It took him ages to finally give you a bit of pleasure by spreading your lips, and him finally using his mouth and tounge finally licking your clit, making your back arch and moan his name. That made Heisenberg go faster and add more pressure, which made you a moaning hot mess, for him and only him. “You taste fuckin delicious kitten” he said in pants. He then brought his 2 fingers, and slipped them inside you, curling them, making you feel more pleasure. When you felt your orgasm coming, Heisenberg stop what he was doing making you whine . “Come on, Heisenberg, I wanna cum so badly, please lemme cum” you moaned. “But kitten, I’m not done with you yet.” He said taking his shirt off, boots and then undoing his belt.

When he undid his belt, and unzipped his pants, you could see his hard erection, making you wetter. “Enjoying the view princess?” He asked while taking his dick out. You just gave him a needy look and that gave him the hint to put it in. But before that you saw metal scraps flying past him taking your hands and pinning them at the top of your head on the table, making you unable to move your hands. This distracted you, so you didn’t notice Karl moving forward getting in place to rail you. He pushed in, which made you wince in pain letting him enter you bit by bit. You didn’t notice how big he was, feeling him fill you to the brim. “Is that all you can take kitten? Well fuck you still have a bit to go. You are so tight for me baby” he said moaning breathily.

“I cant take anymore Heisenberg, it’s too much” you moaned your legs trembling. “I’ll make you take all of it” he said pushing the rest of his length deep inside, making you arch your back in pleasure, making you gasp hard. He let you adjust to his size for a few minutes until he started moving his hips. At first he went with a slow passionate pace, but seeing you arch your back moaning for more, he picked up speed and strength, taking his dick nearly out, and slamming back in, making you gasp and moan. “Kitten, I want to hear you loud, don’t hide any of your sweet noises” he said breathlessly. You gave him a light nod before him slamming himself into you again, making you nearly scream his name out, him hitting every perfect spot.

He took one of your legs, onto his shoulder, making him go deeper into you, making you a moaning mess. He then took his glove off, by teeth and started rubbing your clit, building another orgasm inside you. “Already another orgasm pet? You have to beg for this one a lot harder sweetheart” he said rubbing your clit harder and slamming harder into you. “P-please sir please let me c-cum, I’ll do anything, please let me cum, please” you begged in between moans. “Tell me how good I make you feel” Heisenberg same slamming into you faster, watching your face curl into pleasure. “You make me feel so good sir, please haah your dick makes me feel so good sir, you are so good sir” you said with tears in the corner of your eyes.

“Good girl, so fuckin good for me and only me” slamming hard into you, your legs trembling nearing your orgasm. “Karl I’m about to-“ you slightly screamed, but Heisenberg stopped you by wrapping his hand around your neck, his other hand still rubbing your clit, making you cum hard on his dick, squeezing him, making him go harder, chasing his own orgasm moaning fuck and your so fuckin tight. And then he slammed one more time, spilling his seed deep inside you, filling you up. After that intense orgasm, Karl fell on top of you trying to support his weight with his hands on each side of your head. He let you go off the metal scraps, and you put one hand in his hair and the other on his shoulder. “Fuck, I should’ve done this sooner, don’t ya think?” He asked slightly laughing. “You should have, but better now than never” you said and with that he lowered down to give you a soft passionate kiss, making you melt right under him.

“You should go home kitten.. you can maybe stay a bit longer next time” he mumbled softly, not wanting to let you go, but also not wanting you to get in trouble and hurt. “I should” you said getting up, cleaning up and dressing up. He just put on his trousers and belt and watched you while lighting a cigar in his mouth. You were about to head out until Karl took your wrist and kissed you a goodbye kiss. “I’ll see you again kitten” he said with a grin letting you go and opening the door for you. “Next time then. Bye bye” you said and he just waved. What a crazy day you told yourself walking home aching but happy.

[humans4vampires]

Mistletoe

Request: Anon - “Tell me more about human bella’s christmas with the cullens, I need the details asap”

Merry Christmas, anon - and a happy holidays to all of you xo

READ PART ONE HERE

“Bella!” Charlie’s voice was loud and his footsteps pounding down the hall were even louder. I sat up in my bed in a futile attempt to warn Edward. It was a silly and needless instinct. My eyes were still adjusting as Charlie swung open my door and came flying into my room. He didn’t bother looking at me as he continued to the window.

“Bella, look!” He said, an awe to his tone I’d never heard before. “There’s so much snow I can barely open the front door!”

It was oddly bright in my room, I thought. I stumbled over the bed to join Charlie at the window and looked out over the frosted scene. I had to squint to take it in, and not because I was still groggy; the mountains of white covering the yard were glistening in the rare morning sunlight. There was an even blanket on our street, on the neighbor’s houses and on their cars and fences. Their Christmas lights, still on since the morning was in its very early hours, were casting faint colors across the pristine snowfall. Charlie was muttering something to himself about not hearing about a snowstorm when I realized what he was really going on about. My eyes finally settled on our yard and I instantly caught the drastic difference.

My truck was completely hidden by a thick mountain of snow and only the red and blue lights atop Charlie’s cruiser were poking out of a matching pile. The pavement and grass were completely forgotten, covered with an immeasurable amount of snowfall. I was sure the entire house was coated. It was too much. Much too much. I grumbled Alice’s name under my breath and Charlie turned to me.

“What?” His eyes had a childlike intensity. It was an unfamiliar excitement I’d never seen on Charlie. For a moment, I felt like I was looking at the man my mother had known.

I shook my head, coloring my words with disbelief. “Amazing,” I answered.

He nodded and looked back out the window. “Sure is.”

A warm feeling washed over me as I watched Charlie look out over the snow, a smile crossing his face where a smile hadn’t been for some time. The guilt I felt for being the reason for his worries didn’t cloud me now.

“Merry Christmas, Dad,” I said.

“Merry Christmas, Bells.”

Charlie crossed his arms then and looked at me. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to drag you out of bed this early.”

I shook my head, “No, it’s okay. I’ll come down in a minute and get breakfast started.”

He nodded and started for the door. I waited for Charlie’s last steps at the bottom of the stairs before I shut my bedroom door and turned back.

Edward was sitting in my rocking chair, idly rocking as though he had been there the whole time. A coy smile spread on his lips as he opened his arms to me. I rushed across the room and sat in his lap quickly. He continued to rock as I clung to him tightly, his cold skin sending a shiver through me.

He chuckled lightly, “I wasn’t far.”

“Still,” I sighed. “I’d rather you were in my arms.”

He squeezed me tighter for a moment and hummed in agreement. We were both still recovering from the months apart and my heart ached whenever I was reminded of his absence. No matter how brief any moment of separation was brought between us, that pain began to creep back. His touch was the only relief for it now. I moved to face him and his golden eyes glistened with that same childlike glint I’d seen in Charlie’s. Edward’s skin wasn’t sparkling exactly, but the reflection of the white snow bounced off his skin in a gentle glow. His beauty stunned me —dazzled me— when he smiled my favorite crooked smile. My heart stuttered and he chuckled again, bending his head down to kiss me.

He brought one cool hand to cup my face as he brought our lips together. I was in a frenzy immediately. I locked my hands locked in his bronze hair. My body curved to his and Edward laughed on my lips, “Bella…”

I shook my head, refusing to move, soaking in the last seconds of pure pleasure before he removed me from himself. He continued to laugh lightly as I struggled to catch my breath. When I finally did, I let out a long sigh. He cradled me closer to him and I rested my head on his chest. We rocked for a bit as he stroked my hair.

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered gently.

I smiled. “Merry Christmas.”

I snapped my head up then to look at him, a serious expression crossing my face. “You know, if you’re trying to pull off this whole ‘we’re all regular humans, nothing to see here’ routine, you might want to stop Alice from decorating my house with unbelievable amounts of snow. One of these days, someone is going to catch on.”

Edward bit his lip, fighting a smile. “Bella, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I cocked my head to the side and rolled my eyes. “Please, Edward.”

He smiled, but didn’t reply, running a hand through his tousled hair. I wasn’t in the mood to coax the truth out of him, anyway. I was still enjoying the glimmer in his eye. I liked the way the holiday seemed to lighten his mood. I had never really felt that ‘Christmas morning’ feeling before. My mother did try for a few years to keep up the Santa charade, but her terrible planning skills and lack of outside childcare meant that I was often shopping with her for the gifts that would be under the tree – if we had gotten a tree at all. By the time I was older, we had a fake tree that plugged in and we usually managed to get it up by Christmas Eve. The desert climate of Arizona never helped build up my Christmas spirit, either.

“Charlie is waiting for you,” Edward said quietly, motioning his head toward the door.

I nodded, but didn’t make any moves to leave. “What time will you be back?”

He smiled, “Eleven.”

I counted the hours in my head. They were going to be difficult, but not impossible. I would be busy with Charlie. Edward stood me up and kissed me quickly before ducking out my window. I didn’t bother dressing since Charlie had gone down in his pajamas. I figured we were playing it by ear, making our own Christmas morning traditions as we went.

I put the biscuits in the oven that I had laid out the night before —Grandma Swan’s recipe— and made eggs and bacon. Charlie and I sat in the living room, eating at the coffee table to enjoy the fire he had made. Our small tree in the corner had a few small presents wrapped below it. Charlie put the radio on to a Christmas classics station and it murmured softly in the background as we carried on light conversation. I was surprised at how simple it was to spend time together like this.

When we had finished, I carried the dishes to the kitchen and Charlie followed me. I washed the dishes while he clamored around behind me. He finished making us hot chocolate by the time I had finished the dishes. I tried to keep myself composed when he asked me if I wanted little marshmallows in mine. I was still not used to being looked after; I knew he was traditionally supposed to be the one doing the nurturing, but all my years at home with my mother had my priorities mixed up.

“Alright,” Charlie said, handing me my mug. “Present time.”

I followed him into the living room again and sat on the floor by the hearth of the fireplace. We both grabbed a gift from under the tree and exchanged them.

“This one is from your mom,” he said, passing me a poorly wrapped square. “I think it got smashed in the mail.”

I chuckled, knowing it hadn’t. Mom had never been great with gift wrap.

Opening gifts didn’t take very long between the two of us. Charlie was excited about his new fly-fishing set that Edward helped me pick out —having a boyfriend with mind-reading capabilities came in handy around Christmas. And because I had gotten a decent employee discount on it from Newton’s, I was still able to afford the ridiculously expensive down jacket that Alice insisted he would love. From what I could tell from his reaction, he did.

My mom sent me a rather eclectic set of wind chimes constructed of sea glass and shells, and Phil sent along a couple of CDs he thought I’d like. Charlie gave me a knit scarf and pair of bean boots, which I knew were rather expensive. Had he noticed my rain boots were looking weathered? He also gave me some cash with the hope that I’d get myself a couple new books. Again, I fought to beat back the emotions I knew both Charlie and I were not comfortable sharing.

We sat in the living room for awhile, both admiring our new gifts, until the clock chimed at ten. I got up from the floor then and excused myself to get dressed. I took a quick shower and dried my hair, trying to put myself together for whatever was going to be happening at the Cullens. I was sure it was going to be completely different from my morning with Charlie.

I was dressed in a white turtleneck, jeans, and my new boots by the time Edward was at the door promptly at eleven. Charlie was already dressed and at the door before I could get down the stairs.

“Merry Christmas, Charlie,” Edward smiled brightly. He was dressed in a soft beige sweater, the kind with a small zipper at the neck, the collar standing up. The collar of a white button-up was peaking through and he had a hand tucked into the pocket of his dark jeans. I was beginning to believe in Christmas miracles.

“Merry Christmas, Edward,” Charlie grumbled back. Charlie was still entirely against the idea of Edward being around, and I was still very much grounded for running out on Charlie for the second time for an Edward related incident. But we were still following the rules of my curfew, even on Christmas. To be fair, Charlie was being very gracious about me spending part of the day with the Cullens – and allowing Edward to join Charlie and I for dinner. I also knew that Charlie would be going out to La Push to see Billy while I was gone, and that was a place I wasn’t entirely comfortable going at the present moment.

Edward and I faked our greetings as we followed Charlie into the living room. Edward took his usual seat in the armchair, forcing Charlie and I to sit together on the sofa. We all made small-talk for awhile until I broke it up. Edward gave Charlie a small package as we got up to leave.

“It’s a gift from my family and myself,” Edward said.

Charlie eyed the box in his hands suspiciously. Edward was trying to keep his expression composed. Charlie’s eyes were wide when he finally lifted the lid. “Uh,” Charlie scratched his head, “I don’t know, Edward. This is too much.”

“You’d really be doing Carlisle a favor by going,” Edward shrugged. “It was a raffle item Carlisle won at the hospital benefit this year. He won’t be able to use it since he’s covering for Dr. Snow during the holidays.”

I had no idea what they were talking about. “What is it?” I asked.

Charlie looked little annoyed. “A four-day cruise to Alaska.”

My eyes bulged, “Wow, uh – that’s really nice…”

Charlie shook his head, “Are you sure about this?”

Edward smiled earnestly, “Of course. My parents are hopeful that you and Bella will enjoy the vacation together.”

Four days? Four days alone on a ship with Charlie? Four days alone on a ship with Charlie without Edward? “What? No,” I said.

But it was too late, Edward had already sold Charlie. “Well, geez, Edward. Thank your parents for me, will you?”

“Dad, I can’t just go –“

Edward cut me off, “We won’t have classes the rest of the week, Bella. You’ll be home before New Years.”

“Before New Years?” I gawked. “What? We’re leaving tomorrow?”

Charlie laughed, “Yeah, this will be great!” The childlike enthusiasm from the morning had returned. “I’ll get to try out my new fishing gear – and the jacket, Bells.”

I gave Edward a dirty look from the corner of my eye and pushed again for us to leave. We said our goodbyes to Charlie and then Edward helped me through the avalanche of snow to his car. The heater was already melting the snow dust on my clothes when I spoke.

“You know, I really hate that,” I huffed.

Edward looked at me.  “What?”

“Why did you set me up to go on a trip with Charlie?” I complained. “Four days?”

“Bella,” he chuckled, “You and Charlie are going to have a fine time together. And you’ve never seen Alaska.”

“Edward, I can’t leave you for four days.” It sounded as dramatic out loud as it had in my head. I hoped he didn’t think me as pathetic as I found myself to be.

He gave me an apathetic look. “I’ll be nearby,” he said softly.

I thought about that for a moment. “So you’ll be there?”

“It hurts me too, you know,” he said, even more gently. “I can’t be away from you either. I’ll be there if you need me, but I won’t get in the way.”

“Edward –“

“Bella, Charlie will have the memories of this trip to carry with him the rest of his life,” he said. “It’s the least I can do to share you with him now when I intend to keep you for an eternity.”

His words soaked in my mind and I surrendered. Of course, Edward was right. I supposed it wouldn’t be so bad spending some time with Charlie outside of the house and our regular routine. And if Edward was there, hidden out of sight, how terrible could it be? Four days? I mulled it over in my head as we turned up the long drive to the Cullens’.

The house looked as it had since December first; every eave, railing, and windowsill on the Cullens’ home was perfectly twinkling with crisp, white string lights. The bulbs were reminiscent of a more classic shape – the kind where the glass was more of a pointed, almond shaped-bulb. Every window and door had an elegant draping of evergreen garland with red ribbons and winterberry clusters, each with their own large wreath to match. The large tree in their living room was prominently glowing through the large windows at the front of the house. Even now, in the middle of the day, the house gleamed its bright light across the flat, even snow. The clouds had returned and there was a light sprinkling of snowfall dusting my shoulders as we walked to the door.

The house smelled even more delicious than it usually did, the scent of fresh gingerbread and pine in the air. A gentle thrumming of the grand piano filled the house with a Christmas song I hadn’t heard before. Rosalie was there, her delicate fingers moving across the keys, Emmett at her side on the bench. She didn’t turn her head as Emmett did to greet us.

“Hey, Bella!” He waved enthusiastically. “Merry Christmas!”

Edward lingered behind me as I moved toward the piano. “Merry Christmas, Emmett,” I smiled. “Rosalie.”

Rosalie nodded, but kept her eyes down, pretending to need the focus to play.

“That’s beautiful,” I complimented.

If I hadn’t been looking hard enough, I would have missed the small, smug smile that tugged on the edges of her lips. It was there and gone in an instant, almost too quickly for my human eyes. Emmett wrapped one arm around Rosalie’s waist as she continued to play, giving her a playful squeeze. She smiled fully then and began to transition to a new melody.

Edward took my hand and led me toward the kitchen. When we turned the corner, a gentle laugh escaped his lips.

“Ah, Bella!” Esme clapped her hands together, sending a small puff of flour dust into the air. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart!”

She and Carlisle turned to one another and laughed, pulling each other into a gentle hug. They were both lightly dusted in flour, patches of white on their faces; on Esme’s nose, Carlisle’s cheek, dusted across their foreheads and their hair. Their aprons were coated in white, too, matching the kitchen island that was covered with thick brown dough and piles of gingerbread cookies.

“Merry Christmas, Bella,” Carlisle laughed. “It seems our baking skills could use a bit more practice.”

There were burnt gingerbread men scattered about the others that were expertly decorated with intricate designs, as if crafted by expert bakers. There had to be over two-hundred cookies. “I think you’re doing a great job,” I laughed.

Edward pulled me closer to him, laughing over my head at his parents. Alice and Jasper appeared then from the staircase. Jasper had huge wrapped boxes piled in his arms as he moved into the living room, wishing me a ‘Merry Christmas’ as he passed. Alice expertly tugged me out of Edward’s arms and into hers, pulling me in for a hug.

“Merry Christmas, Bella,” she said excitedly, squeezing me tightly.

“Merry Christmas, Alice,” I chuckled.

She looked over to Carlisle and Esme, “Come on! It’s time for gifts!”

Carlisle and Esme were working to clean themselves up as Alice dragged me behind her to the living room. Rosalie was still playing at the piano and Emmett was helping Jasper arrange the surmounting pile around the towering Christmas tree. Each gift was wrapped elegantly in different hues of metallic paper. Alice plopped me down on the edge of the sofa closest to the roaring fireplace. Edward swooped me up faster than I could follow and suddenly he was under me and I was perched in his lap. He still had that excitement in his expression that made my heart stutter. He gave me a slight glance, an eyebrow raised, at the sound of it.

“Don’t worry,” Edward soothed. “I followed your rules.”

He had mistaken my heart wrenching happiness for fear. I nodded quickly, as he moved his hand delicately to tuck my hair behind my ear. He kissed my cheekbone gently as I blushed.

“Alright,” Alice complained. “Come, sit.” She ordered to the others.

Esme came to sit beside Edward and I on the long, white sofa. Carlisle sat down beside her. He was still dusting flour from her shoulders. Rosalie stopped her playing and moved to sit beside Emmett in one of the armchairs by the fire as Alice set a vinyl record on an antique player. Bing Crosby’s Christmas album started with White Christmas.

Jasper took a seat on the floor beside Carlisle’s feet and we all watched as Alice danced around the tree in a graceful blur. Her gaze was peering into the future as her hands floated over each box. She was picking the order in which the gifts would garner the best reactions. As she made her decisions, the boxes began disappearing from under the tree, reappearing in everyone’s hands. Alice begrudgingly went at a human pace to hand me mine. I sat contentedly in Edward’s lap, watching the others as they joyfully exchanged their gifts.

Jasper gifted Carlisle an antique revolver and the two were engrossed in conversation over the details; it sounded like they were interested in the history of it, rather than the use. Emmett gave Rosalie some kind of car, what kind I wasn’t sure, but it sounded fast. Rosalie was asking Emmett and Edward excitedly about the engine as she twirled the keys in her hands. Alice had given everyone clothes, of course, and she and Esme were fawning over the satin on a long skirt Alice had picked for her. Edward’s arms wrapped around me to open his gift from Carlisle and Esme; he graciously received a new leather-bound notebook, giving Esme a kiss on the cheek.

“Here,” Edward said, reaching down to pick up a gift of mine, “I’ll help you.”

There was a smirk on his lips as he exchanged a passing glance at Jasper. Emmett laughed, “Where’s the fun in that?”

I gave Emmett a dirty look as I blushed and Edward handed me something soft. I unfolded a deep blue sweater, definitely cashmere, with a plunging V neckline. My blush deepened and Edward smiled.

“It looks great on you, Bella,” Alice said reassuringly.

“Mmm,” Edward hummed, seeing whatever image Alice had in her head.

I nodded, still weary. “Thanks, Alice.”

She rolled her eyes in response. We continued like that for awhile; Edward opened all my gifts for me and handed them to me one-by-one. I was mostly engrossed with what everyone else was doing.

Rosalie and Esme sat on the couch beside us, combing through a photo album Rosalie had put together for Esme with photos of the family throughout the decades. Esme would share all of the photos of Edward with me as she came across them. Edward gave Alice her yellow Porsche, as promised, from our trip to Italy in the summer. I felt a fleeting pass of dread remembering the trip. The feeling disappeared as quickly as it had come and I gave Jasper an appreciative glance.

Carlisle gifted Esme some property in Northern Idaho with a promise to visit soon to plan her next building project. Emmett was gleefully going through his assortment of fireworks; Esme was exchanging looks with Edward, probably checking to make sure Emmett wasn’t going to get overly excited and start setting them off in the house. Alice had hand-drawn scenes of the London of Carlisle’s youth, and the two were sitting by the fire admiring the large framed sketches. Jasper was reading the backs of the piles of CDs Edward and I had given him, along with a large and expensive looking CD player. Edward was chatting with Rosalie about her gift to him; something about a new engine and some other car stuff that went over my head.

Alice looked over to me, “Bella, did you want to give Edward your gift?”

I had forgotten in all the chaos of paper, the gentle whisper of Bing Crosby, the fluttering of snow falling outside, the glow of the Christmas tree, the crackle of the fire, and the hum of everyone’s happy conversation, that I had a gift I was actually excited to give to Edward.

“Oh,” I said, moving to stand. Edward held me in my place. Alice was there then, my gift for Edward in her hands. I reached out to take it from her, placing it in Edward’s hands. I settled into his lap so that I could see his face.

“I’ve been careful not to think about it around him,” Alice promised, biting her lip in anticipation.

I felt everyone’s eyes on us both as Edward began to tear at the paper. I had been getting his gift ready long before I even realized it. Each time we had taken trips to our meadow, I had been pressing flowers in the pages of whatever book I had carried along. It had been a long time since we had visited in the warm summer months. I didn’t have a use for the flowers in mind when I began collecting them, but there was something about bringing a piece of our refuge home that always felt right. I had worried about what to give Edward for Christmas until I remembered my hoard.

Edward held the delicate frame in his hands, an expression on his face I didn’t recognize. Alice had helped me with the matting and framing, but I managed to arrange the dried flowers into a neat array myself. It did look a bit feminine, now that I was looking at it in his hands.

He suddenly stunned me, flashing his perfect teeth in a wide, exultant grin. Edward brought a hand to cup my cheek tenderly.

“I love you,” he said proudly.

I blushed. “I love you.”

Edward kissed me gently, bringing a brighter blush to my expression. I kept my eyes on my hands when he moved his lips from mine to continue examining his gift.

He turned to me again, “Am I allowed to give you my gift?”

A new dread washed over me. “That depends,” my tone was serious now.

The others in the room laughed lightly with him. Edward reached behind the couch then, handing me a small wrapped package. I weighed it in my hands for a moment. It had a weight to it that seemed solid. I looked at him with questioning eyes.

“I mentioned I’d followed your rules, didn’t I?” He said grinning.

I didn’t fully believe he’d followed the rules. Something about his tone, his expression made me question him. I had made it very clear that if I was to spend Christmas with the Cullens, that I would not be accepting any exorbitant gifts from anyone, especially Edward. We had set a limit on what was reasonable and what was not. Property, vacations, vehicles and anything with more than two zeroes tagged on to the end of the price tag were out of bounds. And I had to really negotiate down to the two zeroes.

I sighed, defeated by the bright expression in his golden eyes. “Okay.”

I heard a quick tear and the paper was removed from the box I held in my hands. Edward tried to control his coy grin as he shrugged. “Just in case.”

I rolled my eyes and lifted the lid on the small box. At first, I felt relieved to find a single book inside. It looked very old and the cover seemed to have a few light cracks. I looked at Edward for reassurance as I went to pick it up. He nodded in encouragement. I picked it up gently, turning it to its spine to read the title. It felt very old, too. Of course it was Wuthering Heights.

I gingerly opened the cover to find out just how old it was. My eyes caught the author, Ellis Bell, and my eyes bulged. I started to get angry; I saw Edward’s eyes flicker to Jasper and back.

“Edward,” I scolded. “You definitely did not follow the rules!”

Edward chuckled, “Of course I did, Bella. Truly, the box it’s in cost me more.”

I shook my head vigorously. “This is – this is – what is this?” I scanned the inside cover again for the publishing date. “1847?” I said too loudly.

Everyone was chuckling again, even Rosalie.

“Honestly, Bella,” Edward ran a hand through his hair, “I simply asked Carlisle if he would part with it.”

I flashed an accusatory look at Carlisle. He nodded in agreement.

“It’s something I’ve had in my collection,” Carlisle laughed lightly, “I promise you, Bella.”

I tenderly closed the book and placed it back in the box, holding my hands up. I shook my head, “This is too much – is this a first edition?”

Edward shrugged, “The American first edition.”

I didn’t know the history of the Brontë sisters perfectly or Emily in particular. I tried to figure out the math in my head. I was overwhelmed.

Edward looked at me inquisitively. “Do you like it?”

I was in shock. I just stared at it motionless. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

“She likes it,” Jasper said, reading my emotions.

Edward held me tightly, planting a kiss on my neck below my ear, bringing me out of my momentary lapse of motor function. I thanked him breathlessly, later thanking Carlisle for releasing this priceless piece from his collection for me. I was only slightly suspicious that they were all in on a lie. I chose to go along with it. In truth, I did love it. And I made a deal with Edward that I would accept the gift under the condition that I left it at the Cullens for safe keeping.

We all sat in the living room for a long while, chatting about our gifts and admiring the thought behind each one. The gift exchange between the Cullens was a bit less extravagant than I’d imagined it to be – though only slightly less. Each gift seemed to have meaning behind it. After all, no one here needed anything.

I only moved from Edward’s lap when Esme asked him to play at the piano. Rosalie joined him at the bench and sang along softly. When Edward transitioned to a very flourished rendition of Jingle Bells Emmett chimed in voraciously and the angelic whisper of Rosalie’s voice was quickly lost. With pleasant laughter, everyone slowly dispersed throughout the room; Alice and Rosalie collected all the paper and ribbons, Carlisle tended the fire, and Jasper and Emmett joined Edward at the piano for more loud Christmas caroling. Esme joined me at the tree and shared the history of each ornament as I pointed them out to her. Eventually, Alice and Rosalie made their way out to the garage to view their shiny new gifts.

Suddenly the piano and singing stopped and Edward, Jasper, Carlisle, and Emmett were gone. Esme laughed loudly, taking my hand softly and guiding me towards the front window.

“I think it’s best that we stay inside,” she patted my back, smiling to herself as we looked into the front yard.

It was difficult for my eyes to catch any of it, but I could certainly hear the impact of snow and ice exploding against the tall cedars, making them quake. I could see one of them, every now and then, stopping abruptly to change course, launching another snowball. They were all dashing across the open field, laughing and calling loudly to one another. I could barely follow along. I thought back to the baseball game in the clearing as my heart swelled with joy. Esme and I watched from the window, delighted laughter spilling from our lips.

Esme turned to me, taking my hand in both of hers.

“Sweet, Bella,” she cooed. “You have given us the greatest gift. You may not see the changes we see in our Edward, but you have truly brought him to life.”

The look in her eyes burned with elation. I had to look away; her words filled me with an overwhelming urge to cry. Esme pulled me close to her side as we continued to look out the window. I saw Edward then, dashing through the snow with a triumphant smile. I had never seen anything so enchanting.

Esme had to break up the war eventually; she and Rosalie were going to deliver cookies and Christmas dinners to families in Seattle. Carlisle was filling in for Dr. Snow at the hospital as promised, and left after he’d changed into dry clothes. Jasper, Alice, and Emmett had made plans to hunt; apparently it was a good time to go since most people were home instead of on the trails on Christmas Day. I was disappointed when the house was empty and Edward was making invisible trips to the car to fill it with my Christmas gifts, but I had to be back at Charlie’s by four.

I was surprised that we had made it back to the house before him; Charlie must have been having a nice time in La Push. Edward unloaded the car after he carried me through the thick tundra Alice had left on my lawn. I was getting my small Christmas dinner ready for Charlie, myself, and Edward­ –who would politely pretend to eat with us– when Edward came into the kitchen.

I heard him behind me and turned to face him. He was closer than I thought he would be; his lips were only inches from mine. His sweet aroma brought me closer to him. I barely noticed he had his arm stretched above our heads.

“No Christmas is complete without mistletoe, I hear,” he said, his voice velvet.

I glanced up. He was holding a small bushel above us.

“Mmm,” I murmured, pulling myself to him, reaching my arms to wrap them around his neck.

Edward wrapped one strong arm around me, lifting my feet off the floor. I was pressed to his body; it felt like I was melting into snow. A shiver ran through me and I twisted my fingers in his hair. Our lips met, silk to stone, as we kissed under the mistletoe.

____

This story is from a set of shorts, which you can find here:

READ PART ONE HERE

READ PART TWO HERE

[roccinan]

1/? simply because you have the most galaxy brain thoughts ever,,, what do you think would've happened if they waited until s5 to reveal sergio and andrés were (half)brothers?

i do know that when my fam started watching lcdp at first i was so put off. like i watched ep 1 and the prof creeped me out. ""berlin"" creeped me out. e v e r y o n e creeped me out. and i was cringing so hard becz of the short lived romance angle with alison parker. i literally did not watch s1 at all xcept for like sneak peeks. highlights being the scene where berlin discovers monica is alive and does his dramatic door by door thing? that was so SUSPENSEFUL even tho i had no idea what was going on. DOMINGO DE RESURECCION remains forever iconic.

2/? And OF COURSE the group bella ciao dance when they hit earth (hahah i thought the banda were actually like a "found family where they all love each other LOL") i am a SUCKER for found family. but anyhoo when i properly got intrigued was s2 when tokyo was kicked out (the music from that scene is still my favourite) it's just so dramatic..!! why am i telling u all this again? right, i haven't slept a wink and it's nearly 7 am pls forgive me if these rambles make no sense. i have a point with this.. i'm going somewhere

RIGHT. so when the fam actually rewound the ep cz i wanted to know WHY berlin did that (didn't fully realise how batsht crazy he can be), the russian roulette scene played. and pedro's acting. MAN. and like just that ep they made a point of showing us these flashbacks where sergio and andrés hug....

Hi anon! Thanks for stopping by- sorry took me a while to get back to you, will do my best to answer this string of messages (got all 4 parts)! Glad you like my thoughts XD

Firstly, I believe Andres/Sergio would be the biggest LCDP ship if the writers were evil enough to wait until s5 to reveal that they’re brothers asdfasdf. They’re already the two most popular male characters anyway. 

It’d be especially crazy because it’s not like they tell the actors these things beforehand either. So that means there’d probably be a Serdres vs Berlermo vs Serquel fight every 5 minutes. I mean, even if not everyone agrees on everything in the lcdp fandom, it’s the most “peaceful” one I’ve ever been in because no character really gets in the way of any other ship (like even with helermo and berlermo there’s no true conflict since Andres is dead). But with Serdres in the mix?? CATASTROPHE. Everyone out here writing essays about how much of a bastard/bitch/homewrecker/motherfucker that Andres or Sergio or Martin or Raquel is. Never a moment’s peace!! so basically, a regular fandom lmao.

Then when we find out they’re brothers, it goes from catastrophe to Apocalypse. Suddenly serquel and berlermo have the upper hand. Everyone would double down and harass the crew/cast into whatever’s going on.  Plot-wise, everything is the same though, just without Andres calling Sergio “hermanito.” Fandom however, would be a minefield! And I’m glad that’s not the case because I’d probably be an unfortunate serdres shippers XD No joke, my mother and I thought they were a couple in S1. So bullet dodged!

Secondly: haha, everyone creeped me out in S1 too, especially Berlin, I hated him, but thinking back, I think I mostly hated the fact that I didn’t hate him as much as I should have. I’ve made peace with it now but oh boy, was he a controversial figure in my head. I actually like the professor on sight though! IDK why, maybe because I thought his plans were cool or because of Alvaro’s delivery. I was afraid of an Alison Parker romance thing too- like, I do feel like she had a storyline that got dropped, but that part was quite cringey and overall unnecessary to the plot. Same with Ariadna, which was even cringier and even Less necessary to the plot. 

Domingo de resurrecion was iconic though yes! And even with all that said, I genuinely enjoyed parts 1 and 2 because it was so different from anything else I’d seen. Not content wise, but maybe tonally? IDK, they were just really bold with a lot of things, like being objectively unafraid of having the protagonists (plural because all of them did LMAO) do objectively shitty things. Really kept me in suspense from beginning to end! 

I’m usually a big fan of found families too! The funny thing is, then banda never struck me as a “family” until season 3. In 1 and 2, I was wondering what felt different about this show; then it hit me that these people remained colleagues to the end. Like, they backstabbed each other (repeatedly) and everyone was quite selfish, and only the bonds that were already there stuck. They were the opposite of a found family LOL But I think by S3, they went down the found family route and I didn’t mind because it makes quite a lot of sense for them to feel that bond after the Mint heist and almost dying/living together (and having witnessed 3 deaths together on the team). But I still doubt Berlin and Palermo were ever really part of this found family, with good reason XD

LOL the scene where Tokyo got kicked out is also among my favorites!! It was so funny and dramatic, and it was like, wow we can go anywhere with this now! Don’t worry- your rambles and thoughts are always welcome :D

I’m rolling over how you watched the Tokyo expulsion scene before the Russian Roulette scene haha. Also yes, PEDRO. Berlin may have been “controversial” to me at first, but I became Pedro’s fan from day one! Also the Hug is probably what made me like Berlin (despite my determination to hate him rip) in the first place. 

3/? ... and like now that i think about it... tokyo had real guts huh. like she KNEW berlin was close enough to el prof to know his name (fhshshs imagine if she'd heard andrés saying 'hermanito' it's unrealistic that she didn't TBH. i mean obviously they decided to make them brothers only towards the end but like in canon universe. how tf did andrés de 'i raised my bby brother since he was 12 and i'd actually die for him and his stupidly brilliant plans' fonollosa go 5 months without slipping up once and calling sergio hermanito. or like,,, i like to imagine sergio kinda gave him lots of leeway(?) sergio's a lil oblivious too but like i'm sure half of it is.. that's my dumbass older bro shut up i'm not being partial you all have city names .. andr-berlin, pass the salt. like OOF. + sergio also knew his big bro was dYiNG so like. i'm sure they were sneaking in some quality time (i hope they did 😭 gosh imagine if sergio really did not ever consider the possibility of andrés dying in the heist so he'd tell himself he needs to perfect the plan now & anyway he'll have enough time to spend w/ his brother post heist in philippines. and then ... that happened :/

Tokyo has guts in place of braincells you bet that she’d do something like this, consequences be damned XD I also think it’s unrealistic for Andres not to slip up, but I have a feeling nobody besides Tokyo really tried to spy on them in private. I headcanon that Andres instead slips up and does things like ruffle Sergio’s hair or adjust his tie when other people are around. I also think Tokyo was convinced that they were a gay couple when she saw them hug XD And if Sergio never went on to tell the banda that Berlin was his brother, everyone would be giving Palermo such awkward looks after Nairobi accused him of being in love with Berlin LMAO. 

I agree! I also imagine Sergio giving Andres leeway because he’s just so used to interacting with his brother that way haha. So either he’d go out of his way to ignore Berlin in front of everyone else or IDK, borderline telepathically communicate with him. Not even “pass the salt” has to leave his mouth- Berlin just puts salt into his food and cuts it up for him, in front of everyone who’s just staring like O.O

I actually do think Sergio never considered the possibility of Andres dying in the heist because he was just that confident in his own plan. Plus, Andres was probably the one person he expected to survive. And a lot of it has to do with Sergio’s attachment to him + Andres’ own habit of downplaying any illness/injury over the years, which I think is safe to believe canon. He was really in no condition to be in the heist, let alone lead it. Just the fact that he needs to take those injections is a big sign that he shouldn’t be there, but Sergio didn’t catch it because he’s human and blinded by faith :’) So yeah, I think Sergio was planning to spend proper time with Andres in Palawan and at Toledo, they just settled for those little moments by the fireplace. 

4/? what always also just GETS me in the feels is that el prof was shown to be this in control creepily calm dude who is miles ahead of everyone. + in the 1st Toledo class itself we see how detached,, like how impersonal he is, how professional - choosing frickin CITY NAMES?! no 'personal relationships' ? (after recruiting his older brother, a father son pair, and war cousins... oh sergio 😂 he's such a frickin nerd and i love him) but like the earlier seasons really emphasised how robotic and down right COLD he can be. it still sometimes bothers me that he put the button in the car. he lead the police to his own damn brother, his blood, who took care of him and adopted him and was terminally ill and like - UGH i try to rationalise that sergio is that cold and unbothered. or that he has strict morals. but it still bothers me becz that button really sort of tipped andres' already unstable sanity. like andrés tells denver someth like you've robbed my future and after that he just seems so much more suicidal and accepting that he can't get out of the mint alive - WHY SERGIO WHY. I KNOW THAT AT THAT POINT YOU BASICALLY DIDN'T KNOW ANDRÉS WAS GOING TO BE YOUR BROTHER YET BECZ IT WASN'T WRITTEN IN THE SCRIPT BUT WHYYYYY

That’s so funny to me too LMAO No personal relationships, then he recruits these guys. Sergio, hello?? Also can’t forget how he just recruited his own girfrleind in the second heist too. Buddy! Love this nerd.

I don’t think that cold aspect of Sergio went away in later seasons either; he just had more opportunity to show a more open side of himself + without Andres, he had to metaphorically leave his comfort zone without a safety net. But in earlier seasons, he really did seem heartless at times XD Then again, we can argue that the same goes for Andres.

To be fair, I didn’t feel sorry for Andres over the button thing lol, but once the brothers reveal happened and all of Alvaro/Pedro’s headcanons came out and we know everything Andres did for Sergio, it makes what Sergio did REALLY harsh. We really just have to explain it through Sergio’s strict morals and him believing this to be the best non-fatal punishment for Andres, who at that point had convinced him he killed a hostage. And because he knew the television interview was coming up, maybe Sergio assumed Andres would use it to “clear” his name anyway. And empathy isn’t one of Sergio’s strong suits either, so through that lens, I can rationalize it.

Also it was lowkey funny to me how Andres was there like DENVER MUST DIE until he found out Sergio put the button there, then he was like “oh hermanito, you and your practical jokes <3″

Still, like you said, Andres and Sergio weren’t brothers yet at this point. They were probably supposed to be lovers lmao and had a dysfunctional Hannibal Lecter x Will thing going on. But because they made #hermanos canon, that button moment just feels very out of place now, especially given how much the two genuinely love each other.

Guess we could also say that Sergio’s just generally kinda bratty with Andres XD Like, he knows no matter what, Andres would forgive him anything. That’s how I see it anyway! 

[sebsallowapologist]

Pothos

Hi! While I have my nerve I’m going to post this- I haven’t written anything for public eye in a long time. 

I’d been thinking for a long time that Bella & Edward’s love story would be so much better if Bella had the chance to mature a little bit. So I wrote this:

When Edward left Bella in New Moon, what if he didn't come back until he was sure that Bella wasn't going to live happily ever after. It's 7 years later and Bella is floating through life as a 25 year old in Los Angeles when he comes back into her life.

Please please please tell me what you think or if this is worth continuing. 

The elevator ride was quiet, just the muzak playing and the quiet dings as we passed the floors that lead down to the basement. Most other people in the office would go home as soon as their computers told them it was 5:00, seldom staying until 8:00. They had families to get home to, dinners to be had, husbands to kiss and tell them how their day was. I filled up that time by staying a few hours late at work, until I got the message that we were meeting up at Umbrella tonight.

When I’d gotten word that morning that Mike couldn’t make it out tonight it made my blood drain from my face. If we wouldn’t go out then shy Angela would have bailed on me too. Theres power in numbers, and two girls alone at a bar wasn’t something Ang was comfortable with. Or maybe she was as long as I wasn’t the only other girl there.

Now that I had some plans for a Friday night I could stomach leaving work behind, moving from one distraction to the other. I shove my phone into my back pocket and grabbed the little black backpack I carried before shutting off my computer and walking out of the cubical I spent 60 hours a week sitting in.

Most people craved the weekend, spent the 48 hours of freedom trying to undo all the work they did over the weekend, but I was the opposite, my weekends were spent trying to run away from my own thoughts, mostly through drinking until I could feel my brain sloshing in my head and then working over my days off, desperately trying to prove to my company, and myself, that I deserved to be there, and it wasn’t just because my guardian angel put me there.

My guardian angel.

The one who got me into UCLA when I applied late and with horrible grades. My guardian angel who made sure I passed every college course, despite how much I didn’t understand the work. My guardian angel who got me the job at Variety, to make sure I was writing and doing what I thought I loved. I hated him, but I took all of his gifts, even though I haven't earned any of them. I was selfish and was plagued by the thought of the person who should have the life I was living, the one I took for granted. All because he felt guilty and I was too weak of a person to deny the silent gifts.

I make it down to my car and throw my backpack on the passenger seat of my little four door, another gift from my guardian angel. Or was it just a coincidence that someone was selling a barely used safe car just for the price I could afford as soon as I needed it? The truck had finally wheezed its last breath my senior year of high school, it was so symbolic it almost hurt, but it was right. A pick up truck didn’t make sense for Los Angeles, I would have spent my salary on gas alone.

I rest my head on the steering wheel, keeping the car keys gripped in my hand as I take three deep breaths and let out everything that happened at work today. The deadline that was moved up without my knowledge, the bitch who took the last k-cup on our floor which made me go to Starbucks this morning.

I sigh and stick the key in the ignition and crank the car to life and back out of the spot without letting the engine warm up. I pull to the mouth of the garage and flash my badge to the attendant, who let the gate rise and let me out. I wave and give a half smile while he waved me on and turned down the street, heading for my apartment.

Los Angeles had ruined my driving, you just didn’t get around this city in any kind of timely manner if you didn’t treat yellow lights like a suggestion. I made it home in a reasonable amount of time, since almost all of rush hour had already died down.

I lock up the car and walk up to my side of the duplex. The duplex I loved, covered in flowers that were cared for by the old woman who lived next door, the old fixtures that reminded me of what Los Angeles used to be- a golden era of film and mob crime. What made LA interesting, as opposed to what it is now- an influencer filled hellhole. I open up the door and slam it closed, the only way the hinge would catch.

I throw my bag down next to the pile of shoes next to my door and head to my small bathroom to freshen up. I bite my lip and stop at the wall of plants lining the window in my living room. Fuck I should water those. The plants all stemmed from the singular pothos plant my neighbor had given me when I first moved in. She taught me that when it grew, a stem could be cut off from the rest of the plant and placed in water. The little section of plant, given the right circumstances, could develop its own root system and thrive on its own, without the home it had once known.

So I did it once, wracked with anxiety that I would kill one of the few flourishing leaves on the plant. It sat in water for weeks before the small root stuck out of the stem. One root became two, and then three as it grew and reached the bottom of the mason jar, and all of a sudden I had a whole other plant that was thriving, the scar I had given it from taking it away from it’s home had grown, and made it possible to survive on its own. So I did it again, and again, until my apartment was covered in pothos vines. I walked around my apartment and watered each one of them until their soil was damp before continuing with my night.

I wasn’t going to any club, but a brush through my hair and a little mascara on the eyelashes doesn’t hurt. I had to act quickly though, since I was getting texts from Mike about every five minutes asking where I was. I tell him that I’m on my way and throw on a jacket over the thin silk and lace top I wore. I didn’t live far from our favorite bar which made stumbling home a few nights a week extremely convenient.

***

The Melrose Umbrella was the bar for people who thought they were too good for bars. The Hollywood nobodies lined the walls, drinking the drinks they could barely afford while trying to all sleep with each other. I’ve been guilty of it, I’d brought home quite a few conquests home from the Umbrella, when I felt like it. I find Mike and Ang at the back of the bar, sitting in our normal booth.

I wasn’t sure if having a normal booth at a bar in a city as big as Los Angeles was something to be proud or ashamed of, but it was our home. I put my bag down and take off my jacket, smiling lightly at my friends. “Sorry I’m late, I’m getting a drink, anyone need?” I ask and they both raise their hands. I laugh a little and head over to the crowded bar, trying to lock eyes with Paul. Pretty Boy Paul the bartender. He smiles and I hold up three fingers, signaling that I needed a drink for his three favorite regulars. He nods and I relax a little, waiting for our drinks. “Hey.” I hear and I turn around to see a man, average height, average build, nothing special about him talking to me like he deserved my attention. “What’s going on tonight, beautiful?”

“Drinking.” I mumble and nod at Paul when I get my three drinks. “Let me get your next round. I’m an actor and-” He starts and I almost roll my eyes out of my head. An actor. Great. “Oh really? What restaurant?” I ask and collect my drinks and go back to our booth, leaving him in the dust.

“You should really make them think they have a chance, it looks like you just kicked his puppy.” Mike laughs and I roll my eyes, sliding him his beer and Ang her margarita. “But he didn’t.” I mumble and Mike rolls his eyes, “What? Don’t need anyone to keep your bed warm tonight?” He jokes. The few times a year I brought a man back over to my apartment were national holidays to Angela and Mike, who insisted that I just needed a more steady flow of orgasms to fix whatever was broken with me. Every time it fell short. Every time I had sex with someone else it wasn’t one tenth- no one one hunderth of the attract, thrill and wholeness that came from just kissing E- No.

“I got a heated blanket, and no. I’m getting black out tonight.” I smile and place the vodka water at my lips, the lime hitting my lips as I take a big sip. As if that was different from any other night we spent at Umbrellas.

Drink after drink I talked with my friends, until my brain was too slow and too cloudy to think about him, until he wasn’t the underlying stream of consciousness that was always going through my mind. The last call bell rings and I sigh, grabbing my jacket. “Alright, I gotta go, I need to work on a piece tomorrow.” I mumble and Mike chuckles. “You would consider 1:45 in the morning to be calling it an early night.”

“I’m a saint.” I smile and he nods. “Do you need help getting home?” I shake my head. “I’ll make it the two blocks.”

I lift my last drink up to my lips and finish it’s remains, letting an ice cube fall into my mouth. I wave to my friends as I exit the bar and let my shoulders curl forward as I shuffle my way back to my apartment. Another successful night. If you could call it that.

I keep my hood up and finally make it back to my place, shedding my jacket at the door. It was too hot. My stomach rumbles and I groan, I hadn’t eaten at fucking all since lunch. I stumble into the kitchen and find a pot, tossing it onto my gas stove before bringing out the boxed mac and cheese.

With shaking hands I get enough water into the pot and set it to boil, leaning over the stove to watch the bubbles rise, but you know what they say about a watched pot, or whatever. As soon as I deem the noodles “done” I drain them and mix in the milk, haphazardly cut butter, and finally the packet of powdered cheese and mix it together, bringing the whole pot into the living room to enjoy my dinner in style. I set the pot down on my coffee table and groan, the burner. I wasn’t so drunk I was going to burn my house down. Stumbling back to the kitchen I glanced at the stove top, expecting to see a small red flame, but everything was off. I was better than I thought.

I walk back to the couch and start eating the mac and cheese while I scroll on my phone. Seeing stories from everyone’s Friday night, posts of everyone laughing with their friends. And I had done that. Succeeded at being a normal human girl. To an extent.

I’d had that smile on my face, I’d laughed and danced, but I just wish it didn’t feel like a cover. I felt like my whole life I was hiding someone’s secret. Tears prick at my eyes as I land on a couple, laughing together outside of a bar, her hands on his chest. I lock my phone and place it face down on the couch. I couldn’t- be around that anymore.

I abandon my full pot of mac and cheese and stumble off to bed, shedding my shirt, my pants, and my bra at my hamper before falling into the bed, pulling the covers up to my chin.  

***

They say hangovers get worse as you get older, but I haven't experienced that yet. When the sun creeps in through my window my biggest symptom is the light headache that I know would go away with some coffee and an aspirin.

I lay in my bed and let a little whimper out of my lips as I stretch. I freeze when I hear the sound that must have woken me up, three quick raps at my door echoed through the apartment. My brow furrows, no one ever comes by. I lean over and check my phone, anyone I knew would tell me before they came over.

I hear the knocks again and roll out of my bed, I was going to have to go in blind. I grab my jeans from last night and a UCLA sweatshirt off my floor, pulling them on as I walk to the front of the apartment. “I’m coming!” I call as I get the knocks again, impatient. I push my hair off of my face and look through my peep hole.

The distorted image did him a massive disservice.

His bronze hair was covered by a dark hood. His white skin was shaded but still brillant, it made my headache scream just a bit.  His golden eyes looked through the peephole and I gasped when we made eye contact, not that he could see. “Bella?” I hear and every muscle in my body freezes. He had to know that I was standing on the other side of the door. My name sounded angelic coming out of his perfect lips. I’d never loved the word Bella so much.

My hand shakes as it moves to the doorknob.

[durgas]

bella rosa

summary: contessina has loved three times in her life and each time the love grows deeper than before. 

A rose in the first flush of love blooms with such vitality that it cannot be tempered.

Nothing can compare to its heady scent, its vibrant colour and its perfect form.

“Ezio, Ezio.” Contessina whispered from her hiding place amongst the fields of his father’s land.

The darkness of the night had settled upon the land, the only light from the twinkling stars above so Ezio found himself with a puzzled look upon his face as he searched for Contessina with nothing to guide him. She had hidden herself well this time, he noted, unlike previously when he had found her moments. The prickle of the wheat itched his leg and he attempted to resist the urge to scratch. He stepped into another row.

He felt something grab him by the ankle as his heart pounded out of his chest. He looked down at the culprit and breathed a sigh of relief. “Contessina.” The corners of his lips turned up at the sight of her, hidden amongst the grapes with a smirk upon her face.

“Ezio.” She accepted his hand to help her stand up, brushing the dust from her apple green skirt. “I was beginning to think that you were, perhaps, lost.” Her words held a hint of challenge though she was smiling.

He kissed her hand delicately, noting how perfectly well formed and soft it was despite Contessina’s constant state of busying herself with one thing or another. “Sweet Contessina, my lady, how could I be lost when I have a jewel such as you to find?

“You are too well versed in the arts of flattery, my dear lord Ezio.” She let out a laugh, strong and pleasant. “I fear your artist friends are corrupting you.”

Brushing away a stray tendril of her dark hair, he stifled a chuckle.  “I do not believe it is them who are corrupting me, bella donna. ”

“Are you trying to imply something, my lord?” Her eyes widened with feigned shock. “Surely, you cannot mean me?” She took a step closer to him.

The scent of lavender wafted towards him as he took her hand again. “I know of no other noble lady who hides in the fields of her lover with not even the slightest of doubt or fear.” He pressed another kiss to her hand although this time his lips slept a little longer upon her ivory hand. “No other noble lady who leaves her own home in the dead of night to exchange conversation with a poor man and an even poorer poet.”

“You do yourself too much wrong, my Ezio, for you are a poet they will speak of for centuries when we are naught but dust.” A tingle spread across her body as Ezio placed a kiss upon her cheek, his lips so lightly grazing the top of her cheekbone.

Ezio pulled her closer, their lips mere moments away from touching. “And, you shall be this poet’s muse.”

A rose in the middle flush, twice bloomed now, has a strength that cannot be denied.

No longer is it fragile, instead it is redder in colour and more fragrant than before.

“Will you be dining with me tonight, Cosimo?” Contessina asked as he entered their bedchamber.

Dressed all in black, she could see the dark circles that rimmed his eyes from the moment he had stepped through the door. It was no surprise, he had been working long hours these past days with very little reprieve. As a newlywed, she had been confused and hurt by his regular absences yet she knew him a little better now. He was a man devoted to his work. Pleasure was not a phrase with which he seemed familiar and she did not mean the carnal sort for they had discovered many things at night in bed. Yet, in the cold light of day he was a sombre sort of man with a hard to find humour.

He glanced over at her, his mind full of a thousand things, and was momentarily taken aback. “Yes, once I’ve finished today’s accounts.” The words left his mouth in a hurry as he stared at his wife in a crimson dress he had never seen before.

“Then, what time should I expect you for?” She felt the heat of his gaze upon her. The dress had worked, she noted, as he was still looking at her in a way he had never looked at her before. “The last time, I waited two hours for you.” Her voice took on a teasing tone.

“Give me ten minutes.” He suddenly found his appetite was roaring its way through his body though he was not sure it was for food. She looked like a goddess today, although not the angelic sort. He could not tear his eyes away from her brown eyes and the creamy white skin exposed by her dress. “Contessina, that dress…” His voice tailed off as she moved closer.

“Yes, Cosimo?” She was enjoying this sudden lack of composure from her husband. It was a reminder that he was a man at heart despite his serious and practical behaviour.

“You won’t wear it anywhere else, will you?” He had decided that it was far too sinful for public sight and that he would very much enjoy removing it tonight. “It’s not seemly.” He added on to explain his request.

“That does depend.” Her mouth curved into a smile and her eyes were glinting with mischief.

“On what?” His voice was gruff as he pulled her into an embrace. She had been a good wife thus far but they had not properly been lovers. He intended to remedy that after dinner.

She paused for a moment. “Will you be having dinner with me now?”

“Strangely, I do feel an appetite.” The accounts could wait, he wanted to spend this time with his Contessina.

A rose in the final flush, thrice bloomed, does not wither and instead has a serenity that cannot be disturbed.

No more will it be sweet, it is strong with spicy notes and deepened with time.

“Contessina.” Cosimo whispered her name as they lay in bed, her beautiful hair spilling over both their pillows.

She was still half asleep with glazed eyes yet she turned to face him. “Cosimo.” She could have slept for longer but Cosimo’s voice held a touch of nerves and she did not want him to bottle his worries once more.

The sun had just risen, a bright ball of orange amongst the blue and purple streaked skies. There was birdsong mixed with the chatter of kitchen staff and the babble of the babe that slept in a cot at the foot of their bed. She sat up against the backboard of their bed and stretched, her arms still heavy with tiredness.

“How could you forgive me with such ease, Contessina?” The words burst out of his mouth. He had gone to sleep with the thoughts upon his mind and found himself tormented with dreams of Maddalena threatening to come between him and Contessina. “How could you accept the child?”

She took his hand and felt the calluses cut into his palms. “Our marriage has not always been a happy one, Cosimo, but that does not mean it was not worth saving.” She met his anguished blue eyes. “We have shared so much in our life together, it is not worth throwing away all of the good for a single mistake.”

“I have not always treated you fairly, Contessina, and I have mistrusted you time and time again.” His voice was low and hoarse, not its proud commanding self that had the possibility to terrify.

“But, you love me, do you not?” She did not wait for him to answer because she knew the truth even if he did not speak it. “And, I love you now more than I think I have ever loved you before because we have grown together and we have forgiven each other for our faults.”

“I do love you and I am grateful you have always been my support, Contessina, but I cannot shake the thought that this is merely a pleasant dream.” Cosimo had not wanted to admit his feelings but they came tumbling out anyway.

She allowed herself a little laugh, silvery and gentle. “Oh, Cosimo. We have never had that fiery, passionate love but I think we can allow ourselves a little peace, do you not think?” She rested her head upon his shoulder. “We will live out this dream together as we have always done.”

“I do not deserve you, Contessina.” Cosimo said as he accepted her words and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Thanks for reading! Can also be found here :)

[bechloe-are-acadorable]

Bathroom door

Beca bounded down the stairs, arms full of her things she was packing up to leave the Bella house. She crashed into someone and her stuff went flying everywhere. She glanced up to see Aubrey’s slightly smirking face “What the hell are you doing standing at the bottom of the stairs like that?” She yelled at the older girl “In fact what are you even doing here? You don’t live here anymore!

Aubrey pulled a face "In a few hours neither do you!" She retorted. "Yeah well I still live here now and you don't so why don't you just do us all a favour and get lost! We're all trying to pack away and don't need you around making everything ten times harder!" Beca ducked down to retrieve some of the things that she'd dropped.

Aubrey scowled "So much for Bellas for life" she muttered and stormed up the stairs. Beca sighed and collected the rest of her things before deciding to make amends with Aubrey. After all Beca wasn't even annoyed at Aubrey, she was snappy simply because she didn't want to move out. She didn't want to leave all of the Bellas behind. She didn't want to leave one Bella in particular behind anyway.

Sighing again Beca trudged up the stairs to Chloe's room (the room that had once belonged to both Chloe and Aubrey) and opened the door ready to apologise to her. She frowned when she saw that Aubrey wasn't here until she heard someone in the ensuite bathroom.

Beca sat on the foot of the bed next to the bathroom door. Apologising wasn't something Beca found easy nor did often so not having to actually do it face to face with Aubrey relieved her slightly.

"Look Bree" she began before taking a deep breath "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kick off on you and you know this house will always be yours as much as it is ours I just... have other things on my mind." Beca paused waiting for Aubrey to reply but when she didn't she figured she must still be pissed off with her.

"I just... I don't want to leave. I don't want to move away yet and be without the Bellas, you guys truly have become my family and I guess I'm just scared of losing that. I've made friendships in here that are so much stronger than anything I've ever had before. Like Amy she's a pain in the ass but she's such a laugh and a great mate to have and Chloe..." Beca sighed upon saying the redheads name.

"Well anyone with a working pair of eyes can tell Chloe and I have such a strong bond. I've never felt anything like it before and I don't want to lose that. She's the best and if I'm being honest that's 90% of the reason I'm dreading leaving so much, I don't want to leave Chloe. She makes everything okay and safe and exciting and I know now that she's going to move away and get a job and a boyfriend and a new life and forget about me totally. I just... I don't want that to happen"

Beca looked down, trying hard to stop the tears in her eyes from rolling down her cheeks "I'm in love with her" she managed to squeak out before the first tear rolled down her cheek. God she was being stupid! Why on God's earth would she tell Aubrey something like that. "Bree please don't tell her any of that"

Beca sniffed before she got up and headed towards the door.

Beca turned the door handle and jumped upon seeing Aubrey walking up the stairs towards her. Becas eyes widened as she turned around to see Chloe at the now open bathroom door. In that moment Becas brain short circuited and she stood there dumbly looking at Chloe, mouth slightly agape.

Chloe looked at Beca with a soft smile "I think we need to talk" she said in barely over a whisper. Beca closed the door behind her and quickly wiped her eyes before taking a deep breath and nodding slightly. "Well come over then I don't bite" Chloe giggled softly as she sat on her bed.

Beca shuffled towards Chloe and sat on the opposite end of the bed, rolling her eyes playfully Chloe scooted towards Beca. "Um, how much of that did you hear?" Beca muttered looking at her hands in her lap. "All of it" Chloe admitted truthfully. Beca nodded slightly "I'm sorry" Beca mumbled.

Chloe frowned at this "You have nothing to be sorry for Beca" Chloe replied softly, gently placing a hand on Becas leg. "I do. I've damaged the whole dynamic of our friendship" Beca groaned out in frustration. "It'll be okay" Chloe tried to soothe her but Beca shook her head "You'll always look at me differently now" Beca sighed. "Look I'm sorry Chloe but I have to go" Beca stood up to leave. "We can work through this Beca" Chloe tried but Beca shook her head as she exited the room.

______________________________

It had been 3 months since Beca had confessed her feelings to Chloe and three months since Chloe and Beca had last spoken. Chloe had tried, really she had but Beca wouldn't answer the phone to her or reply to her barrage of texts. Beca had completely isolated herself from all of the Bellas and moved to New York, working at a record label and living in a tiny crummy apartment.

Beca was well and truly hating her life. Living without the Bellas was hard but living without Chloe was almost unbearable. Her heart ached and she was lucky if she smiled once a week. She hadn't made any new friends and was just going through the motions, even mixing music didn't make her feel any better.

Chloe on the other hand was in a much better position. She had moved to Florida and was working as Ariel in Disneyland and loving every minute of it. She had always loved Disneyland and now it seemed her dreams of being a princess in real life had come true. She loved interacting with the children and ensuring that their visit was filled with awe and wonder like her trips had been as a child.

Chloe being Chloe had made loads of friends already and kept in regular contact with the rest of the Bellas. The only thing that would have made her life better would have been having her best friend back in it. She missed Beca dearly and felt a stabbing pain in her chest every time she thought about her scrappy little friend who had once inadvertently confessed her love to her.

She wished that Beca would answer the phone or text her back. She so desperately wanted to make things right between the two of them. Just because she didn't have the same feelings for her didn't mean they couldn't remain best friends. She missed Beca more than she'd ever missed anyone before and had begged and pleaded with the younger girl to talk to her to no avail.

Chloe woke up from a lovely dream, in the dream The Bellas were performing at Disneyland, all dressed as different princesses to an adoring crowd. Chloe and Beca were performing a short duet and Beca grinned at her with that smile she reserved especially for Chloe. The alarm clock jolted her awake and the sleepy smile remained on her lips for a second before remembering that she hadn't seen that smile in 3 whole months.

Chloe sighed and got her phone out to text Beca, knowing that she wouldn't get a reply. For all Chloe knew Beca had changed her phone number but text her anyway 'Hey Becs, you were in my dream last night, The Bellas were performing together at Disneyland! I miss you... please text me back x' Chloe quickly got changed, ready for another day in work.

Chloe got there slightly early as she always did, a smiling Chicago came over in his Prince Charming attire "Good morning Ariel" he laughed "Good morning to you too Prince Charming" Chloe laughed back. The pair had gotten closer over the past weeks and Chicago had started flirting heavily with the redhead.

He dropped to one knee and took Chloes hand in his "Would you do me the honour of accompanying me on a date tonight?" He asked already in character. Chloe giggled at the goofiness of him "Of course my prince" She replied. "Splendid" he stood up "Your chariot will await at 8" he kissed her hand before walking off. The other princesses gathered around her to talk to her about it before their shift started.

As soon as her shift finished, Chloe rushed home to get ready for her date, pausing only to alert the Bellas group chat of her date.

Stacey: You're literally going out with prince charming!

Aubrey: You're living every girls fantasy!

CR: Not EVERY girls fantasy

Fat Amy: Well every straight girls fantasy

Ashley: What are you going to wear?

Chloe pondered this for a second before getting up and looking through her wardrobe and picking out three options and sending pictures of each to the group chat.

Aubrey: Number 2

Jessica: 1

Ashley: 1

CR: Nah deffo 3

Emily: They're all nice!

Stacey: I have to agree with Bree number 2

Fat Amy: I'd say 3

Flo: 1 or 3

Lily: I killed someone in an outfit like 2

Chloe: Okay...

Chloe: You guys were no help

Chloe: What do you think @Beca?

Although Beca was still technically in the chat she hadn't spoken in it for 3 months and as suspected, she didn't break the silence. Chloe sighed and went with number 2 and got ready for her date. She was ready about 15 minutes before he was due to pick her up and decided to text Beca. Even after all of this time it wasn't any easier without her.

Chloe: Hey Bec, I tried calling you again yesterday but you didn't answer. Are you okay? Is this still your number? Please don't hate me forever, text or call me whenever you want and I'll be here x

Chloe heard a knock at the door and smoothed her hair down before answering the door. "Well hello there Chloe, you look amazing" Chloe smiled back at Chicago, "Looking pretty handsome yourself" Chloe replied. The pair set off in Chicago's car to a nearby Italian restaurant. Chicago was a perfect gentleman opening the door for Chloe and such.

The date went well and Chicago was as charming and funny as ever, he even walked Chloe back to her door after driving her home. "I had a great time Chicago" Chloe told him "Me too" Chicago smiled and leant in and kissed Chloe.

Chloe kissed him back briefly before pulling away "Well goodnight, thanks again Chicago" Chloe smiled before letting herself into her house and kicking off her heels. Chloe got undressed for bed and considered the entire date.

She had had a good time, it was fun and the two would make a great couple she mused but couldn't put her finger on why she didn't feel like she thought she would. She just didn't have that spark with him, she didn't feel for him what she'd expected to. What she'd hoped to.

Chloe flopped into bed and considered the problem some more. He was the third guy she'd been on a date with since moving to Florida but she had expected more from him. It was chemistry that she didn't have with him.

For example if she was out with Beca then the conversation would have never ceased. There was always ease between the two girls relationship. She always felt like she could be 100% herself when she hung out with Beca.

Then again that was a friendship, a relationship is something different altogether. If her and Beca had ever been romantically involved maybe she would have felt the same way around her. Almost immediately Chloe dispelled this thought from her head, she knew that she'd always act the same way around Beca no matter what capacity their relationship was.

It was a true conundrum. For some reason Beca was always in her thoughts when dates didn't work out. It was probably because she missed her friend Chloe reasoned. And she did. She missed Beca dearly, it was almost as though her right arm had been chopped off that's how integral Beca was to her life. Chloe sighed before settling into bed for the night.

Chloe woke up to a knock at her door. She got out of bed and opened it to see Chicago dressed in his Prince Charming suit. "What are you doing?" Chloe mumbled "Well I'm your Prince Charming aren't I?" He replied in a voice that wasn't his own. Chloe cocked her head and it took a second or two for her to click onto who's voice it was.

"Beca?" Chloe gasped "Yes m'lady?" Chicago replied still in Becas voice before magically transforming into Beca, still wearing the princely attire. Chloe threw her arms around Beca and hugged her, right before pulling away and looking at Becas grin. She pulled the shorter girl into a searing kiss before abruptly waking up to the sound of her phone ringing.

Chloe sat bolt upright in bed, panting slightly from shock and surprise before shutting off the call from Chicago. Chloe took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. Why was this happening? Why was she dreaming about kissing Beca? Why didn't it feel wrong?

She picked her phone up and called Aubrey, 3 rings in she answered "Hey Chloe what's up?" Chloe inhaled deeply "I um... nothing" Chloe didn't know what to say, she was probably just being stupid after all. She didn't actually have feelings for Beca. Or did she? "Chloe what's up?" Aubrey asked again.

"Nothing" Chloe repeated, slightly more convincing than the last time "Don't make me ask again" came Aubrey's stern voice from the other side of the line. Chloe sighed "Well... um... have you ever had a dream about kissing someone that you shouldn't have been kissing?" Chloe managed to get out.

"That I shouldn't have been kissing? Like who? Trump? Ew fuck no!" Aubrey chuckled. "No I mean like a friend" Chloe sighed out "Not really no" Aubrey replied truthfully. "Yeah no me neither" Chloe laughed weakly "Well who was it?" Aubrey questioned her. "No one. It doesn't matter" Chloe added hoping she'd drop it.

No such luck. "Well you have to tell me now" Chloe groaned at this "It was Beca wasn't it?" Aubrey asked. "How... how did you know?" Chloe stuttered "You've always been a bit gay for Beca" Aubrey said nonchalantly. "What? No I haven't!" Chloe squeaked out.

Aubrey laughed at this "You definitely have! All that hand holding and cuddling up during movies and not stopping going on about her and how beautiful she is" Aubrey stated. "I... I'm an affectionate person that's all!" Chloe protested. "I was supposedly your best friend and you weren't that touchy feely with me!" Aubrey argued.

Shit. She was right. Everything was always... different with Beca. A stronger bond. A bit more tender. A deeper love. "Oh my god" Chloe breathed out "And the penny drops" Aubrey deadpanned. "I... I think..." Chloe gulped loudly "I think I love her" she managed to get out.

"I know you do" Aubrey said quietly. "Why... why didn't you ever say something to me?" Chloe questioned her "Its the kind of thing you need to figure out for yourself Chlo" Aubrey said softly.  "Yeah I suppose you're right, thanks Bree... I have to go now" Chloe whispered out. "Let me know how it goes!" Aubrey called out before Chloe hung up. Chloe quickly text Beca.

Chloe: Becs we need to talk, call or text me please?

No reply, not that Chloe was expecting one really. She had no idea how else to contact Beca. She didn't know where she lived or worked or anything, all she knew was that she was in New York and working with a record company.

Chloe searched for hours and hours online for Beca until eventually she found her name listed on one of the record companies. Well if Beca wasn't going to talk to her then she was going to have to go and see her.

Chloe rang work up and took a few of her holiday days off and quickly packed a bag. She got a taxi to the airport and booked the first available plane to New York.

Not even 6 hours after waking up from that dream and Chloe was aboard a plane ready to fly her to New York. It was scary. Terrifying really. She was going to see Beca for the first time in such a long time and tell her how she felt about her.

One step at a time though, she knew where Beca worked but not where she lived and the working day would probably be over by the time she arrived. Chloe thought long and hard for a while but eventually decided to just turn up to her work and hope she was there.

The plane ride, although relatively short in duration, seemed to drag on for an eternity. Chloe was getting more nervous by the second and by the time the plane landed she was a ball of nerves. Grabbing her bag she hurried through the airport and hailed a cab to Becas work.

She got there at 6:15 and entered the building hoping that Beca hadn't left yet. The reception desk was empty so Chloe scouted round, unsure of what she was even looking for. "Can I help you?" Chloe wheeled round at the words and was greeted to a perplexed looking woman. "Um hi I know someone who works here, Beca Mitchell and I don't know if she's here or if she's gone home yet"

The woman raised an eyebrow at her "Beca will have left over an hour ago, as soon as it's 5 o'clock she's out of the door" the woman chuckled. "Ah yes that does sound like her" Chloe giggled "You see the thing is is that I don't actually know where she lives..." the woman frowned slightly.

"How well do you know her?" She queried. "Oh very well. We're best friends" Chloe said confidently. "You're best friends but you don't know where she lives?" Chloe laughed nervously. "We went to college together, we lived together and we were co-captains of our college acappella group but she moved here and I moved to Florida. I have pictures, do you want to see them?" Chloe got her phone out "No I believe you" the woman laughed.

"It's a surprise you see, she didn't know I was coming" Chloe explained "I see" the woman nodded "Is there any chance you could help me out? Have you been to her apartment?" Chloe asked hopefully. "Me? No. As far as I'm aware no one in this place has" Chloe's face dropped at this "Well is there any way you could find out where she lives for me?"

The woman chewed her bottom lip contemplatively "I dunno, it's against policy I could get into trouble" she muttered. "Please? Pretty please? You'll be doing me a massive favour and no one will ever find out" the woman thought for a couple of seconds, assessing the situation.

She seemed harmless enough and hopefully a visit from a friend would cheer her moody coworker up. "Wait here I'll be two minutes" she said "Oh my god thank you so much I owe you one big time!" Chloe beamed.

She waited anxiously for the woman's return, when she arrived back she handed Chloe a piece of paper with the address written on it. "Honestly I can't thank you enough for this!" Chloe gushed "It's nothing" Chloe engulfed the woman in a quick hug. "Thanks again!" She said before leaving and hailing another cab.

Before long she was stood outside Becas apartment door. She must have been standing there for a good 15 minutes working up the courage to knock on it. She didn't know what to say.

She almost bottled it, she almost turned around and left for the airport to get a flight home. But she couldn't. She couldn't leave when she was this close to seeing Beca again. Chloe took a deep breath before wrapping her knuckles across the door.

She heard a muffled "Finally" through the door before it was opened. There she was. Becas mouth dropped open at the sight of Chloe in front of her after all these months. Chloe smiled awkwardly "Hey Becs" she whispered.

Beca remained mute and unmoving, she couldn't quite comprehend what was happening. Surely this was a dream? Why else would Chloe be stood at her door? Tears welled in Chloe's eyes upon seeing Beca after so long and she could no longer help herself, she hugged the smaller girl tightly.

Beca stood there, almost frozen but engulfed in Chloe’s arms. She breathed in Chloe’s scent that she hadn’t realised she’d missed this much before clearing her throat slightly. Chloe released Beca and took a slight step back “You better come in” Beca managed to get out. Chloe nodded and followed Beca into her apartment.

Chloe looked around the tiny place as she followed Beca to the couch. Beca picked the remote up and turned the TV off before offering Chloe a seat. Chloe sat down but Beca remained on her feet, pacing slightly.

Chloe glanced up at her nervous friend “I missed you” she said sincerely. Beca ran a hand through her hair “I missed you too” she admitted quietly. “Can you sit down so we can talk?” Chloe asked softly, Beca paced a few more times before reluctantly nodding and sitting down next to the redhead.

Beca bounced her leg nervously as she struggled to look at Chloe “Bec can you look at me please?” Chloe almost begged. Becas eyes drifted up to Chloe’s face where Chloe spotted the tears threatening to escape. Chloe exhaled deeply “Why did you shut me out?” Chloe whispered as Beca shook her head.

“You know why” Beca glanced down at the floor again. “No I don’t” Chloe said softly as Beca ran a hand through her hair again. “It was too much. I said too much and I couldn’t take it back” Beca croaked out.

She began to pick at the chipped black nail polish on her fingernails. “Beca I’m so sorry” Chloe began, a stray tear falling from her own eyes “I never wanted you to feel like you had no choice but to cut contact with me. It must have been horrible for you, feeling the way you did. I’m so sorry Becs” Chloe choked out.

Beca glanced back up and her heart broke upon seeing Chloe cry “Please don’t cry Chloe” she pleaded. Chloe dried her eyes and took a deep breath “I just... I missed you so much and I thought I’d lost you forever!” Chloe croaked out.

Beca sniffed “I’m sorry Chloe it’s just... you don’t know what it’s like loving someone who only sees you as a friend. It’s crushing. It almost feels like you can’t breathe any more” Chloe’s heart broke a little bit more knowing she’d caused Beca to feel like this “And I just didn’t know what to do. I thought running away would help but all I do is think about you. I’d rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all Chlo” Beca added quickly.

Chloe steadied her nerves and made sure she locked eyes with Beca before continuing. “Beca I don’t want to just be friends with you anymore. I think I love you” Becas mouth dropped open at this “What?” She squeaked out. “I think I love you Beca” Chloe said plainly. “Like love me or love me love me?” Beca asked quickly Chloe smiled at this. “Love you love you” Beca could hardly believe her own ears. “You do?” Chloe nodded as a small smile appeared on Becas lips, widening until it almost engulfed her whole face.

“So... can... can I kiss you?” Beca asked as Chloe nodded vigorously. Beca pulled Chloe in for a kiss that was half-ruined by Becas inability to stop smiling, Chloe however found it absolutely adorable. “Promise you’ll never leave me again?” Chloe asked as she broke away from the kiss “I promise” Beca replied sincerely before leaning in for another kiss.

[pitchedperfectly]

Bad Day Cookies

Beca was in a bad mood. She was pretty sure it was bad enough to make everyone within a ten foot distance to steer clear. The Bellas especially, who had spent the past three and a half years with her, knew she was not to be bothered while in her mood.

Emily, though, was new. Therefore, she figured she would bring it upon herself to cheer up her captain. She had been studying with Stacie, who was tutoring her in biology. When she heard the front door to the Bellas house slam shut, she looked up from her seat on Stacie’s bed curiously.

“Oh, God,” Stacie muttered under her breath. “Prepare yourself, Legs, Beca’s in a mood.”

Continue reading here or on AO3!

Emily was really happy that Stacie liked her enough to give her a nickname, despite being an inch or two taller than herself. That thought was stuck in the back of her mind as she silently wondered how Stacie knew it was Beca that had slammed the door. She stewed on it for a minute before voicing her question, listening to the sudden thunder of the rest of the Bellas racing up the stairs to avoid the massacre that would happen downstairs if they stayed.

“She’s done it since sophomore year when we got this house.” Stacie explained. “I know it’s her because no one else in a bad mood would slam the door that hard. Except maybe CR, but her moods are a different story.”

“Oh.” Emily frowned. “Should we go see what’s wrong?” Her frown deepened when Stacie vehemently shook her head, mild fear in her eyes.

“Hell, no. The first time she slammed the door, we thought the same thing. I’m shocked we still have all of our limbs intact, I thought she’d rip them off completely.”

“Hmmm...”

“Seriously, Em, I wouldn’t bother. She usually just bakes in her misery for a couple of hours before turning back to her regular moody self.”

The word bakes set off a lightbulb in Emily’s mind, and she leapt off the bed. “I’ll make her some cookies! Nobody can be mad at cookies , right? Plus, my brain is kinda dead from all this biology stuff. I mean, honestly, how is photosynthesis gonna help me with my psych degree?”

Stacie reached out to grab Emily’s arm, continuing to shake her head. “Do what you want, but just know you’re being really brave right now.”

Emily laughed on her way out the door, thinking Stacie was just over-exaggerating. She made her way down the stairs, before coming to a stop in the doorway to the living room for a couple seconds, admiring Beca.

Beca was sitting against the arm of the couch, back to Emily. She was already huddled over her laptop, a blanket that was way bigger than her covering her shoulders and headphones in place over her ears. Emily could hear the annoyed mutters coming from the shorter girl, and she couldn’t help a giggle from escaping her lips. Beca was just too cute.

My crush is getting a little out of control, she thought to herself.

Emily’s smile froze on her face when Beca whipped her head around, a death glare already set in place.

“Who the fuck---” her face softened considerably when she saw Emily (who was suddenly scared shitless), but not by much. “Oh. Hi, Legacy.” She then returned to whatever she was doing on her laptop, and Emily took it upon herself to cautiously make her way over to the other side of the couch.

She sat, facing Beca. “Hey.”

Beca looked up again, eyeing her curiously. Emily almost laughed again - it was like looking at a caged animal. She smiled softly when Beca nodded her head, the annoyance clear on her face.

“What’s going on?” Emily asked, trying to sound as casually as possible. She didn’t get an answer - Beca just raised an eyebrow at her before focusing her attention back on her laptop. A minute or two passed; Emily made a move to get up, but was stopped by Beca putting up a finger. So she sat back against the couch arm and waited patiently.

Another few minutes passed, and Beca finally leaned back and sighed heavily. She lightly shoved her laptop towards Emily, who startled in surprise.

“What do you think of this?” Beca handed her her headphones, and Emily let out a little gasp at being offered them. In her eight months at the Bellas, she had never seen Beca let anyone touch her headphones. Except maybe Chloe; but that was mostly because she often weasled their way into her possession.

Emily slid the headphones over her head and pressed the spacebar, waiting for the music. She half-expected the worlds set Beca had been working on, but was instead surprised by the piano that came through. They were short notes, spaced out between each other; nothing accompanied the notes except for small hits on a ride cymbal. She continued listening as the piano continued adding notes to fill the lengthy pockets of silence, smiling when a violin finally entered to join.

The song continued, and felt very melancholy and almost.. Nostalgic? She didn’t know how to place it. She swayed to the beats, though, and her ears were very delighted to hear the rest of the orchestral ensemble come in. Emily was broken out of her reverie when the music came to an abrupt stop.

She looked back up at Beca, who was staring at her intensely. Emily blinked a couple times before gently taking the headphones off.

“Wow, that was crazy good. Unfinished?”

Emily could see the ghost of a smile that appeared on Beca’s face.

“Uh.. yeah. I’ve been trying to hash out some kind of lyrics for it all day because my boss has been on my ass about being original and having a voice and blah blah blah-- but I literally can’t figure anything out.”

“Well, you don’t have to have lyrics to have a voice!” Emily replied brightly, to which Beca let out a groan.

“Yeah, I wish. He’s all about the beauty of lyrics.”

Deducing those words to be the reason behind Beca’s mood, Emily remembered why she had come downstairs in the first place. She hopped out of her seat - making Beca jump in surprise in the meantime - and extended a hand.

“C’mon grumpy. Let’s bake some cookies?”

“Excuse me, what?”

Emily leaned forward so that her face was inches away from Beca, who shifted backwards uncomfortably. “Cookies!” She then stood straight up, hand still extended. “Whenever I would get into a bad mood, my mom would force me into the kitchen and we would bake cookies together until I wasn’t anymore. Soooo, I decided that that’s what I’ll do with you!”

Beca scoffed. “What makes you think I’m in a bad mood?”

“Uh, maybe the fact that you slammed the front door and made everyone who was down here scamper upstairs like scared mice?”

Beca visibly deflated at this. “Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“Nevermind that,” Emily shook her head, gesturing wildly to her hand. “Get up, let’s go!”

Seeing that there was no alternative for her, Beca sighed and let Emily hoist her up out of her seat. She haphazardly closed her laptop before she was dragged into the kitchen. And in true Beca fashion, she watched as Emily got out all of the ingredients needed for the cookies rather than helping her.

“So uh, we don’t have any chocolate chips... so we’re just gonna stick to snickerdoodle this time, if that’s okay.” Emily’s voice came from behind the cupboard she was sticking her head into, and Beca blinked a couple times.

“Dude, don’t even worry. I’ve had enough chocolate chip to last me a lifetime, living in this house.”

“Good!” Emily replied, closing the cupboard to turn and smile at the other girl. “Because there are literally no other alternatives.”

“I have a feeling that much of your open-ended questions are not actually up for debate.” Beca said, her voice deadpan. She rolled her eyes at Emily’s excited nod of agreement.

“Okay, so melt the butter for me please?” Emily all but threw the sticks of butter at Beca before she could even say a reply.

“God, you are so lucky I caught this.”

“They’re literally solid, Beca, don’t be so dramatic.”

“I thought this was supposed to be a fun activity?”

Despite her snarky comment, Beca couldn’t stop herself from smiling even if she tried. Which she wasn’t. They were working together in relative silence, mixing together the ingredients. Emily only spoke up to give Beca instructions, who insisted that she knew what she was doing.

And then Beca took some flour in her hands and threw it into Emily’s face. Beca doubled over in laughter when she saw the look of utter shock on the legacy’s face. When she finally managed to calm her giggles, she looked up and saw Emily brushing flour out of her hair and started her laughter again.

Emily had never heard Beca laugh so hard before. And while she had been taken aback at the sudden powder in her face, she couldn’t help but laugh along. She then took a handful of flour into her own hands and threw it at the smaller girl, who only laughed harder when she was hit in the face. Soon enough, there was a small pile of flour on the kitchen floor and two girls laughing so hard that tears streaked down their flour-caked face.

They were only interrupted by Stacie’s cry of, “What the hell is going on!?” followed by Fat Amy’s raucous shout of, “Cookies!” that stopped them from continuing their laughter.

Beca and Emily took one look at each other and gave a subtle nod, grins still apparent on their faces. They stood up and continued mixing ingredients together as if nothing had happened.

“Hello? We’re right here ?” Stacie asked, annoyed. Beca cast a peek at Emily, whose lips were upturned in a smile she was desperately trying to hide. She watched as the legacy took a small handful of flour from the bag that was sitting next to her, and inconspicuously gathered up her own.

They heard Stacie huff and step into the kitchen, along with Fat Amy. That was their cue, and they turned on their heels to face the two girls and threw the flour in the air, starting up their insane laughter once more.

They heard the rest of the Bellas begin to clamber down the stairs at the sound of Stacie’s angry scream, and the kitchen was virtually chaos. The girls who were lucky enough not to have gotten flour at them watched in amusement as Stacie wiped flour off her face. Amy had just shrugged it off and made her way over to the balls of dough they had made, popping one in her mouth despite Emily’s cries of, “No, don’t!”

Chloe eventually established order in the kitchen, seeing as Beca was too busy stifling her laughter to do anything about it. She fixed the two with a stern glare before telling them to clean up their mess.

“I expect perfect cookies!” she said, not being able to be angry for too long. Her signature Chloe-smile was now on her face, and she ushered the Bellas out of the kitchen. Emily watched them leave, traces of laughter still apparent on her face.

The kitchen settled back into silence, but something in the atmosphere had changed. Beca couldn’t wipe the smile off her face, and she kept stealing glances at Emily. The other girl pretended not to notice, but her own smile was still on her face. By the time they finally put the cookies in the oven to bake, Beca had come to her own conclusion that no one else had ever successfully gotten her out of one of her moods as easily as Emily had.

She turned around to lean against the counter to watch Emily, who was rummaging around for their dustpan.

“What?” Emily asked when she finally noticed the staring.

“You’re just so fucking cute.” Beca said without thinking, instantly smacking herself in the head when she realised what she said. “Oh my God, I’m an idiot. Sorry-- You just. Yeah.”

Emily set the dustpan on the floor before making her way over to Beca, remnants of flour still on both of their faces. She stood in front of the other girl, who was avoiding her eyes.

“I’m cute, huh?” Emily asked with a smug look on her face. “That’s great, tell me more.”

Beca huffed before finally meeting their eyes. “Y’know, even with flour on your face, you’re really beautiful. I don’t think that’s really fair.”

Suddenly feeling very flustered, Emily felt her face getting hotter as a blush reached her cheeks. “Yeah, well. Take a look at yourself, then. It’s not exactly fair, either.”

“Mmm.”

Their proximity was making Emily nervous. She knew what she wanted - Hell, she had had a crush on Beca since before they even formally met - but Beca looking at her with soft eyes made her wonder if Beca wanted the same, too.

Before she could overthink it, Beca stood on her tiptoes to brush their lips together.

Fuck it . Emily thought, before bringing a hand up to Beca’s cheek and fully kissing the other girl. She was in bliss; Beca’s lips were so soft and so gentle, and she could have stood there kissing her forever if it weren’t for the fact that she was laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Beca asked when they parted, smile on her face.

“You had to stand on your tiptoes to kiss me.” Emily said with a laugh, watching as Beca’s smile slid off her face to morph into a faux annoyed look.

“You know what, screw you. Height jokes are a low blow.”

Emily stifled the joke that was screaming at her to come out, instead leaning down to give Beca one more quick peck on the lips. Beca’s annoyed face lightened up a bit, but returned when she heard Fat Amy’s scream in the living room.

“ THE ACA-BITCHES ARE MAKING OUT!”

Emily slid her hand into Beca’s, who squeezed gently as the thunder of Bellas racing down the stairs filled their ears.

Sure, Beca had a bad day. But who was to say a nice tall drink of water wouldn’t make it better?

[throughtheglassdarkly]

Missing Pieces, part 2

Welcome back. When last you were here, I almost barfed on the turkey. Onward.

About two weeks passed from our dinner with the seasonal Court leaders and the Harvest Festival, where we were told we could officially swear loyalty to any court we chose. My motley didn’t hang out too much during this time. The freehold managed to get each of us some one-bedroom apartments in a not-too-bad part of Albany and we were all interested in getting back to living a regular life. Some of us were also interested in seeking out our fetches, getting jobs, or learning more about the Courts. Few of us managed all of that.

Pam and I both managed to find jobs baking. I got work at an upscale bakery that specialized in overpriced cupcakes for gender reveal parties and other ridiculous things. Pam got a job baking in a kitchen. Both of us were happy with this – it let us do something we loved. Yova managed to make contact with some of her old friends and associates on the entertainment circuit and started the process of getting back into working as an accompanist and some lessons.

Bella, Yova, and Pam were all interested in seeking out information on their fetches. Bella did some Facebook stalking and learned that aside from a little concern after she first disappeared, her family seemed pretty happy with her fetch. It made her sad, but at least she knew they were doing all right. Pam was able to focus on a connection with her fetch and realized things weren’t going as smoothly as they could be, either with her kids or husband. She actually reached out to her fetch, sending her messages on Facebook and offering help with advice about her kids. The fetch tentatively responded and they began a correspondence. Yova, however, had the most surprising discovery of any of us. She tracked her fetch down to a sanatorium upstate and discovered that the pressure of being Yova caused her fetch to snap. Yova told me later she was tempted to just choke out her fetch in the cell, but managed to hold back because she knew it would be very bad if she killed her fetch and tried to take that crazy back into herself.

Of course, something I know we were all thinking about was which court, if any, to join. We all received some gifts and notes from the court leaders, at least any ones we made an impression on. Winter sent a fairly impersonal note to everybody. I don’t know what the others received, but Autumn sent me a lovely mason jar with some bagged cupcake mix inside. It was a very sweet thought, but I tossed the bagged mix and kept the jar. Bella visited with Spring and had a long chat with Duke Lamington, Mistress Lilly’s second-in-command. Day went to Summer and talked with them about their mission in keeping the freehold safe. I met up with Evain and he took me to Autumn’s lodge in the Hedge where the court kept a ton of records, books, and relics. I also got a chance to talk with Evain a bit and realized he wasn’t as bad as he first came across to my motley – he’d escaped from Arcadia about twelve years before us and found that his fetch had died while he was back. He was starting a new life, which was both good and bad: good because he could get a fresh start from having a criminal history before he left, but bad because he’d had a kid who he couldn’t get back in touch with.

Ultimately, Bella decided that she did want to join Spring’s revelry, Day wanted to take up arms with Summer on behalf of the freehold, and I committed to joining Autumn and trying to add to their knowledge and study. Pam, who’d been kind of keeping to herself since she got back, didn’t feel a need to join any court off the bat, which didn’t surprise me. Pam is definitely the type to avoid picking any court over another simply because she doesn’t want to cause hurt feelings. Much to my surprise, however, Yova also demurred on joining a court. She told me at one of our brunch sessions that she was having a very hard time deciding between Spring and Summer and that she didn’t want to make a decision she might later regret.

At any rate, the three of us who had decided to swear loyalty were told that the next major event where we could do so was the Harvest Festival, which was to be hosted by the Autumn Court as one of their major events of the season. We all (minus Pam, who had a shift she had to work) arrived at an apple orchard about twenty minutes outside the city that the court had rented out just for the freehold. It was a chilly but nice Sunday afternoon – we needed jackets because the wind was cold, but the sun was out and it there was one of those crystal-clear October skies. The leaves were gold and bright red and it felt like the epitome of autumn.

Once we arrived, most of us went our separate ways. Yova was single and looking to mingle. Before too long, she made the acquaintance of a flame Elemental named Susie from a neighboring freehold who was quite taken with Yova and they started talking very intently. Bella grabbed some cotton candy and joined Day, who was stuffing his face with funnel cake and pie and corn dogs and apple cider, and managed to sneak a couple bites off of his plate (risking her hand every time she did). As for me, I was mostly interested in checking out the fair as a whole, trying to see what my new court was doing and how it was getting put together.

And also trying to avoid molting. Yeah, molting. Embarrassing as it was, I was shedding feathers all over the place.

Evain introduced me to some of the other Autumn courtiers and I was standing around talking to them, when the trouble started. I can’t really explain it, but I had a feeling almost akin to what I felt back in Arcadia, when I was being made to serve Amberleigh’s needs. It was as if I was aware that I was being used for someone else’s pleasure, like my actions weren’t my own. Also, weirdly, I almost felt like I could see a giant can of Diet Coke next to me.

(Note from the author: Derek has a character merit called Trained Observer, of which he has the advanced form. This merit allows what’s called the 8-again rule on all observation and perception checks in Chronicles of Darkness games. 8s, 9s, and 10s are successes and he can re-roll any successes until the dice do not come up as successes. He rolled a whopping 11 successes on this particular roll, and our GM described that Derek suddenly and briefly became aware of himself as a character in a game.)

But that moment passed. And what I was also suddenly aware of was seeing a frazzled-looking teenager running through the stalls. What made him stand out was that he looked wholly human: as a changeling, you can see other changelings for how they really are, so you know another changeling instantly at a glance. This kid was definitely not a changeling. I managed to step out of the way just before he would have barreled into me and he yelled at me to watch myself. I asked him if something was wrong and he stammered out an obvious lie about looking for his dog. He asked what was going on with the festival and I made up a story about it being a last-minute benefit for sick kids. I told him we could let him know if anyone stumbled across a dog and he gave me his address. As he was leaving, I saw him picking up a few of the feathers I’d dropped and I mentioned him to Evain, who went off to grab security and yell at them for letting a human get in.

The next few hours, into the evening, went smoothly. It turns out the Autumn Court actually manages to throw a pretty decent shindig. Bella and Day ate their way through all the food stands, Yova and Susie shamelessly flirted over a few glasses of hard cider, and I got to sit through one of the lecture forums to get more of a feel for my court. Oh, shut up. It was a lot more interesting than it sounds. At any rate, we got brought into one of the tents for the formal swearing shortly after sunset. And that’s when the trouble really began.

The first thing we noticed was that The Dagda was drinking heavily from a jug of wine and pacing up and down through the tent, talking to a few Autumn Courtiers who all looked very uncomfortable. He spotted us and seemed to remember what we were there for, but didn’t give any inclination that we’d be going to actually do that. I piped up and asked, “Is everything all right, sir?” “No. No, it is not all right,” he said, draining the wine and letting out a belch. “There’s been a setback. Or not a setback. A hiccup. A hiccup sounds better, more neutral. We have to have a change of plans.” Seeing that none of us had any idea what he was talking about, he took in a breath and turned to face us. “Someone has broken into one of our displays and absconded with a Token that we retrieved from Arcadia. A crystal swan.” He turned and looked at me. “And I don’t want to say anything, but… we found these in the display.” And he didn’t even need to show me. I already knew what he was going to pull out of his pocket. White and black feathers. Goddammit.

Yova managed to get out, “Now, sir, you can’t honestly think that Derek would do something like that.” The Dagda grabbed another bottle of wine and started sucking it down before he said, “Of course I don’t want to think Derek would do something like that. So I’m willing to listen to any possible explanation.” I think he was a little surprised that I wasn’t more surprised or acting guilty. I was rubbing my forehead, trying to ward off the sudden headache I was feeling, and said, “I knew that kid was up to no good.” I told The Dagda and the rest of my motley about what I’d seen the kid doing and how I saw him picking up some of my feathers that I’d been molting. Day started snickering at that – he’d been mocking me ever since I started shedding feathers – and I gave him a look of death.

The Dagda nodded at that and said that this was a perfect opportunity to – pardon the expression – kill two birds with one stone. He told us to find the kid and get the Token back and if we were able to do that, we could arrange for another time for us to swear our loyalty to the courts and get our mantles. There wasn’t much else we could do other than agree to do our best to find the kid. “Good lad!” he told me and clapped me on the back, which sent feathers everywhere, then he tottered off. I turned to Yova, Bella, and Day and told them about the address I got from the kid. “It might not be anything, but it’s a start,” I said. We agreed to check it out and walked over to the junky pickup Yova’d managed to get her hands on. The three normal-sized ones of us got in the front seats and Day climbed into the back. And if there is anything that is more upstate New York than a big dude riding away from an apple orchard in the back of a pickup, I don’t know what it might be. Except voting for a presidential candidate completely against your self-interest.

It didn’t take long for us to get to the address I’d been given – it was barely ten minutes’ drive away. It looked like your average farmhouse, nothing special about it. We discussed our plan of attack. Yova took the alternator cap off and headed up to the front door, knocking and asking for help. While she did this, Bella blinked out of existence, slipping inside the house when the door opened. She told us that she’d scream bloody murder if there was trouble. She’s good at that.

The lady who answered the door was very tired-looking and told Yova that her husband could help Yova with fixing the car. Bella slipped up the stairs, looking around and seeing a bunch of news clippings for their local town. There were also two bedrooms upstairs, one that had the name “Charlie” on it and the other which had the name “Abigail.” Yova got the husband to lend her a wrench and she and Bella met Day and me back outside. Bella told us there was nothing to see, that the house was boring as fuck, but she did note that the clippings were about crimes in the local area. Yova did some Google Fu and realized that the daughter in this family, a nine-year old named Abigail Hepburn, had been missing for two days. Bella asked me for a description of the teenager I saw and when I gave it to her, she realized from some pictures she’d seen that it was Abigail’s brother Charlie.

We realized we needed to get back inside and Yova, thankfully, had a contract that allowed her to do just that. She brought the wrench back and walked right in like she owned the place, asking about Charlie. The man seemed to think she was one of his teachers at school and told her Charlie was downstairs, so Yova made her way down to a furnished basement and started talking to a very confused Charlie. She asked him about what he’d been doing and he told her about the “sketchy party” in the orchard, implying Yova might be one of them. She asked, “Do I look like I hang out with sketchy people?” “You kinda do,” he said. “In these shoes?” she asked. She ended up giving him her number and he mentioned that if she could help him find his sister, he might be willing to exchange a trinket for her time. Yova realized that he was definitely up to no good, but there wasn’t much else she could do other than head out and wait for him to contact us.

Yova dropped each of us off at our apartments. She later told me that she called Susie up, who was totally down to fornicate. I didn’t get many of the details out of her, but they definitely made sparks.

God, I hate myself.

As for me, I spent the evening doing what I did pretty much every night before bed. I made a makeshift bed for Paisley out of a shoe box and a t-shirt and had her sleep on the table next to my bed. Before we went to sleep, however, I would always write down some short messages on index cards and hold them up for her to look at. I wanted to tell Adrian how things were going, so I’d write a few notes down and have Paisley look at them. I still wasn’t sure if Adrian was able to see into the human world, but on the chance that he could, I wanted him to know that I was thinking of him and trying to figure out a way to get him out of Arcadia. That night, the cards I held up read “Went to Harvest Festival.” “Autumn Court lost a Token.” “We have to find it.” “Trying to talk to people who know about contracts.” “Hope things are good there. I miss you.”

The next morning was notably colder than the day before – there was frost on the ground and the windows were fogged. As much as I wanted to spend the morning in bed, my phone was constantly beeping. There were a ton of messages from Yova. “Thanks for GIVING me your number.” “Don’t you want to know about the trinket?” “;)” “:p” “You guys are soooooo slow.” I found out quickly that all of us – Yova included – got these messages from her. Charlie had clearly gotten into Yova’s phone somehow and was sending these messages out. He gave us an address in a strip mall on the outskirts of Albany where we could meet him.

We managed to touch base and (Yova a little more reluctantly than the rest of us) all met up at the strip mall where Charlie was waiting, looking smug as all get out. He told us that he wanted some incentive for us to help him find his sister. “Just tell us what you want,” I groused. “And make it quick,” Yova snapped. He straightened up and started looking more serious. He told us that Abigail had been wandering the Hedge and he wanted us to get her back. He wasn’t able to go himself and said he didn’t really care what happened to Abigail, but that he needed his mother to be happy again. Yova asked him what he was and he smiled grimly and said, “I’m something caught on this side that can’t go back. Fate has conspired for us to work together and you need to play our part as I’ve played mine.”

I asked where Abigail was last seen and he told us he’d take us to the trod. We piled into Yova’s pickup, with Charlie and Day in the back, and he directed us back out to near where he home was, eventually leading us to a little stream just off a trailhead. “So what if it’s too late?” Bella asked. Charlie shrugged and said, “I just want her back. I don’t care in what state. My parents need closure.” Yova straightened herself up to her full six and a half feet and started to ask him what if we were to simply bring the entire freehold down on him. But as she was doing this, she started to feel an immense amount of pressure, and she realized that something had happened – we were supernaturally bound to see this promise through to the end.

Without waiting for an answer, Yova marched back to her car, retrieved her rapier, and marched back. Day started forming a mud patty and, like he’d done in Arcadia, swallowed it before spitting it out over his arms to make his fists stony. I knew I wasn’t going to be a huge help in fighting, but figured I could at least make it harder for anyone to track us down. I asked if either Yova or Day could carry Bella and Day reluctantly let her climb on his back. I reached down and erased one of my footprints, then one of Yova’s and one of Day’s, spending some Glamour and ensuring we wouldn’t leave tracks. We bid an awkward and annoyed farewell to Charlie and stepped through the trod. The Hedge we emerged into was not like anything I’d seen before: it was a massive corn maze with scarecrows, a chill breeze, and dead leaves.

Yeah. He sent us into the goddamn cornfield. But it was good that he did that.

We had no idea what direction to head in and spent some time trying to get our bearings. It was Yova who first picked up on the fact that the wind was blowing in an unnatural way, seeming to gust at us from several directions at once. She started to think about wishing the world could make itself a little easier, and as she did that, the wind picked up again and one of the scarecrows turned in the wind, suddenly pointing in a direction. The leaves also started blowing in that direction. We figured this was about as good a sign as any we were going to get and started trekking along.

As we followed the leaves, we realized they were leading us away from certain things, dead ends, pits we might not have seen. After what felt like about an hour, we made it to the center of the corn maze, where we saw a gathering of little hobgoblins. And what were they doing, you ask? Having a tea party with Abigail Hepburn. This left us in a bit of a quandary. Obviously Abby wasn’t in any immediate danger, but that didn’t mean we could just leave her be and watch what was happening. We started quietly discussing what we should do. Day suggested beating them down. “And then we’d have to carry a screaming child back through the Hedge. Do you want to carry a screaming child back through the Hedge?” Yova asked him. “I’m already carrying a screaming child through the Hedge,” Day retorted. “HEY!” Bella yelled, which of course caught their attention. I swear, I have no idea how Bella became a Darkling.

We had to respond quickly and thankfully, Yova decided to practically float into their gathering, charming the absolute shit out of everybody. She plopped down next to Abby, who was completely smitten, and introduced herself. The goblins talked about Abby as their treasure, which Yova heartily agreed with. Thankfully, there are times where Yova being completely full of crap comes in handy. She spun a story that she’d traveled far and wide to swear fealty to Abby as Abby’s knight. She then swore an oath that she would make sure Abby was safe until Abby saw her home again. I was watching and managed to seal that promise remotely, hoping it would give us a leg up in getting Abby back home. Notary, away!

The hobgoblins weren’t terribly pleased about this and said that they were going to take Abby further into the Hedge for their clients. Yova noticed Abby squirming a bit and asked if she had to use the bathroom, which she did. She offered to escort Abby to take care of business and the head hobgoblin insisted on some female hobgoblins going along with them. Day, Bella, and I attempted to slip through the cornfield, with Bella activating her darkness to give us some cover. While Yova and the female hobgoblins were letting Abby have some privacy, Yova activated one of her contracts to make the hobgoblins afraid of the maze, then she comforted them, making them completely interested in helping her. They turned coat and agreed to go with her. She took them and Abby and started making her way back out of the hedge maze.

Of course nothing could ever go that smoothly and the other hobgoblins started following, realizing that something was up. Yova made a wrong turn and the hobgoblins ended up cornering her and Abby. Yova picked Abby up and whispered to her, “Keep your eyes shut.” She blazed her light at the hobgoblins, who fell back, shrieking, and then Yova ran like the dickens. We all booked it through the corn maze and managed to meet back up again at the entrance.

Abby was completely enchanted and wanted to know how Yova managed to do that. “Well, I made a deal with a unicorn,” Yova said. “Unicorns are real? They always make fun of me at school for liking unicorns,” Abby said. “Well, this was a special space unicorn,” Yova told her. And, because I am not a good person, I grinned and told Abby, “Yeah, all she had to do is put her hand around his horn and stroke it up and down really quickly, and then she got some magic sprayed all over her, especially her face. Isn’t that cool?” Abby looked delighted, and if looks could kill, Yova would have put me in the ground five times over with the glare she gave me.

There wasn’t any point in sticking around, so we hurried back through the trod and spotted Charlie. He was hanging out casually by the trod, but as soon as we came through, he straightened up and made his expression like the teenager we saw earlier. He yelled Abby’s name and she ran over to him, crying. While we watched, he made her swear not to talk about the things she saw to their mom, which we all had a pretty pissy expression about. He told us to take them home and promised he’d give us the Token then.

We brought them home and both Mr. and Mrs. Hepburn started crying when they saw Abby back safe and sound. Yova told them a story about being out driving and seeing Abby looking lost and scared near the woods. Mr. Hepburn couldn’t thank her enough, telling her that if they could ever do anything for her, to just let them know. Charlie slipped us the crystal swan and, before we got dragged into anything else, we skedaddled. 

And then Day suggested we go get waffles.

So that’s a good enough spot to stop for now. When next you join us, more shenanigans and misfires. Until then, may you never molt around a kleptomaniac.

[anamedblog]

Bella Ciao

by Choon Hwee Koh, ANAMED PhD Fellow (2018–2019)

ANAMED is a place I associate with many different types of sounds. There are the nightly playlists of the clubs nearby—among these I only recognized Tarkan’s Dudu and Şımarık. Some of the other fellows are subjected to a completely different music playlist, and from this I understood that their rooms were nearer the Istiklal side. Others, like Selim, are on my side of Nur-i Ziya, and he tells me the songs we hear nightly are from the 80’s and 90’s in Turkey.

Then there are the different “Englishes” and different accents of the ANAMED fellows, especially when we are in groups. Once, during my first week here at ANAMED, about eight or nine of us piled into the elevator. Then somebody (maybe Susanna or Nebojša) noted that every single one of us was from a different country. As we descended in the glass shaft, the rest of us looked at each other’s faces and realized that that was true. There were smiles and “ahh, oh yes”es, and in an increasingly suspicious and border-obsessed world, that short elevator trip and the smiles exchanged gave me a warm feeling. I also get that nice feeling during our regular dinners, when I listen to the conversations. I would note all our different accents, our different responses to a story, our different hand movements, our different dietary preferences etc.

Then there is Bella Ciao.

I think I first noticed it when, on the weekends, I study alone in our common study room and I hear that same tune being repeated by the busker with his electronic toy piano on the street. The busker has other tunes too, but it is this tune that keeps playing in my head. I hummed it in an audio message on WhatsApp to my best friend, Tamara, and asked her if she knew what song it was. She is Lebanese and had worked as a film maker and editor in her previous life, and she told me that this was Bella Ciao. Wikipedia says it is a song of resistance.

Sometimes we hear its tune too on weekdays, when there are more of us in the study room. Bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao…

One day, I went out for lunch at Fıccın and I saw the kid on the street who was playing it. He stands there alone, but so far I have always walked by him without giving money. Sometimes it is a different kid, probably also a refugee, but it looks like they use the same electronic toy piano which they diligently blow into. And they play that same tune, which has acquired a haunting quality for me.

Haunting because it reminds me of the uncomfortable things, the things we have to (or at least, I do) forget, suppress, and ignore, in order to live our daily middle-class lives and finish writing our dissertations. The things about the world today we have to—or at least, I have to—accept that I cannot change.

Another sound I associate with ANAMED is the sound of either Hugh or Robert turning on a tap or the shower. Once, over dinner, I told Robert about my irrational belief that the ANAMED building had a daily quota of warm water, and that we had to compete with each other to get our fair share. And so whenever I heard either of them turn on a tap, I felt impelled to leap out of bed and into the shower and to start my day—just so I can have a warm shower at somebody else’s expense. It’s a dog-eat-dog world, it’s either I get a warm shower or Robert/Hugh steals mine!—according to my theory. I was told that my belief is indeed unfounded and untrue, but nobody has, as yet, solved the mystery of when and how one can reliably obtain warm water in our showers.

These are my happy problems. In a previous life, I once lived in an all-girls dormitory in Delhi and during the winters, it had no central heating but, in fact, plenty of open gaps in the walls that functioned as windows. We bathed out of buckets which we filled manually with boiling water (there was one special tap in the bathroom that gave boiling water) and mixed it with normal tap water, and scooped them up with little plastic jugs onto our shivering bare skins, all the while looking at that open gap in the wall and wondering why nobody thought to install a window pane, as if that would have protected us from the cold.

So sometimes, when I hear the water go on in either Robert’s or Hugh’s room, but I want to stay in bed awhile longer, I remember my tough younger days in the Delhi dorms, and I think to myself—it’s okay, I will let them use the warm water—and I go back to sleep.

And sometimes I oversleep by a lot, and I wake up to the noisy buskers of Istiklal Avenue, who begin their performances after all the trucks and vans clear out. I wake up to the soundscape that surrounds our ANAMED home, and to that one melody that pierces through it all and reminds me that I am complicit and guilty.

But I have the privilege of ignoring it, and so I do. 

Bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao...

[massivedrickhead]

One More Year: Chapter 25

Longer chapter than I'd planned but I got a bit carried away :P

Please review, it would make me super happy :)

Fanfic.net link

I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of its characters

Chapter 25

Merry Christmas Chloe thought to herself, gloomily, at 6:30am on Christmas morning. She looked down at her bedroom floor which now had two camp-beds set up, ready for her sixteen year old twin girl cousins. Twins ran in her family.

She could hear both Aliza and Robbie talking quietly outside her door. She could hear Johnny moving around upstairs in his attic bedroom. She could hear a muffled conversation between her parents happening downstairs, mixed with the sound of her mother chopping vegetables.

"Chloe?" Aliza whispered from outside her door. "Are you awake?"

Chloe smiled, and braced herself before replying. She knew that this was likely to be her last quiet moment until tomorrow afternoon.

"Yes," Chloe replied. "You guys can come in."

The door opened and Aliza and Robbie ran into her room, both talking loudly and rapidly.

"Okay, okay," Chloe said, holding her hands up. "Not so loud, it's still very early."

"But Chloe, it's Christmas!" Robbie said, jumping up and down.

Chloe laughed and shook her head.

"You'd better go and wake Lucy up then," Chloe said, and they both ran giggling out of her room.

She picked up her phone and sent Beca a text.

Chloe: Merry Christmas! :) xxxxx

She knew Beca probably wouldn't be up for hours yet, and she was a little jealous that she couldn't just lie back down and sleep for a few more hours.

To her surprise, her phone buzzed with a reply almost instantly.

Beca: What in God's name are you doing awake at this time of the morning? P.S. Merry Christmas xxx

Chloe: I have younger siblings, so Christmas starts the second they wake up. The real question is what are you doing awake? xxx

Beca: Some weirdo text me at 6:45am saying Merry Christmas xxx

Chloe: Well that weirdo sounds awesome and very pretty xxx

Beca: She's okay I guess. Can I go back to sleep now? xxx

Chloe: You're so lucky that that's even an option. Enjoy your nap, love you :) xxx

Beca: Love you too xxx

Once everyone was up and dressed, the five Beale kids made their way downstairs.

Their Mom was in the kitchen, cooking Christmas dinner, and their dad had fallen asleep in the armchair in the living room. He had to leave in a few hours to pick up his sister and her family. Her dad didn't drink so he was perfectly happy to make the 45 minute trip to pick them up and drop them off so they didn't have to worry.

They all piled into the living room and exchanged hugs and Merry Christmases and then gifts.

Being a large family, there was never many to open, but none of them minded. Once everything was handed out and unwrapped, Chloe's Mom spotted an extra present under the tree.

"Oh, Chloe this ones for you," she said, reading the tag.

Chloe frowned, puzzled, before taking it and looking at the tag. She recognised Beca's sloppy handwriting and she smiled. They had both agreed not to get each other a present, but that hadn't stopped either of them from sneaking the gift under the other's tree when they weren't looking.

Chloe unwrapped in and found an envelope inside with a USB taped to it.

Inside the envelope was a note, and a small stack of photographs.

'Some photos for your wall, and some new mixes.

Merry Christmas.

I love you.

Beca xx'

As everyone entertained themselves with their new gifts, Chloe looked through the pictures and with each one her smile got bigger.

There was the selfie Beca had taken when they were hanging out in the den. Chloe had been trying to hide behind Beca, but you could still see her and the smile that had spread across her face.

There was the one when she'd surprised Beca by kissing her on the cheek at the last second.

There was one of her playing with Jasper that she hadn't even known Beca had took.

One of the whole group of them at the Christmas party they'd had. Beca was absent from this one, having been the one who took the photo.

A candid one of her and Aubrey, laughing at something.

A posed one that Beca had asked Jesse to take when they went to see the Bellas perform.

"Mommy Beca and Chloe are kissing on this one!" Robbie squealed as he peered over her shoulder.

Chloe blushed and quickly turned it over. On the back, Beca had written 'Your friend Aubrey is a real creep.' Chloe turned it over again and saw it had been taken on one of the occasions they'd all hung out. Beca and Chloe were separate from the group and had been caught by Aubrey sharing a quick kiss.

"Maybe I'll look at the rest later," Chloe said, embarrassed but happy. The rest of her family were still laughing at the scandalised look on Robbie's face.

"Well, I'd best go pick up Julie," her dad said, looking at his watch.

"And I'd best carry on with dinner," her Mom said. "If everyone could take their stuff upstairs that would be super helpful. Your uncle Tommy and aunt Carol will be here soon with the kids, and aunt Lizzy won't be far behind."

Chloe felt her stomach turn slightly. She loved her uncle Tommy and aunt Lizzy. They were her Mom's brother and sister and they were a lot like her Mom. Funny and kind and understanding. Lizzy was a little older than her Mom, and had never married or had kids, but didn't seem to care.

But she didn't like aunt Carol. None of them really liked aunt Carol. Carol was… a bit of a bitch. And so were her sixteen year old daughters, if Chloe was being honest. All three of them thought they were better than the rest of them, with their big house and fancy car. Tommy told her secretly one year that he comes over for Christmas dinner because Carol is such an awful cook that he would rather travel for six hours on Christmas morning than eat her food.

But because it took so long to get there, they always stayed the night. Carol, Tommy, and their young son would stay in Lucy's room because it was the biggest. Lucy would share with the Robbie and Aliza, and Chloe had the twin cousins.

Their son Daniel was now only four, and very sweet, and Chloe hoped that his bright blue eyes and ginger hair meant he would take after his dad. The blonde twins definitely took after their Mom.

"When are grandma and grandpa coming?" Lucy asked.

"Noon, I think," her Mom said, looking at her watch.

"Mom," Chloe asked quietly, "do they know? About Beca, I mean."

"They do," her Mom said. "I told them when you guys first started dating. They're both totally fine with it."

"Okay," Chloe said, relieved.

"The same with Julie, and Lizzy and Tommy. They all know and no one has any issue," her Mom said. Chloe couldn't help but notice the way she hadn't included Carol's name in that list.

She knew Julie, her husband Frank and their fourteen-year-old Max wouldn't have an issue. She knew Lizzy and Tommy wouldn't have an issue. But Carol…

"If she says anything," her Mom said, reading her mind, "just ignore her. I know that that's not a great solution. I know today is going to be tough for you, and she isn't going to make it any easier. But just ignore her. I would kick her out if I could, but it's Christmas so," her Mom shrugged, "I'm stuck with her." She kissed Chloe on the forehead. "Go and take your stuff upstairs and enjoy the quiet while you have it, okay?"

Chloe nodded and took her gifts up to her room. She sat on her bed and text Beca.

Chloe: Your gift was the cutest thing ever. I loved it, thank you so much. Although next time, maybe warn me if there's a picture of us kissing so I can open it in private. I've probably traumatised Robbie. xxx

Once again, Chloe was surprised when Beca replied immediately.

Beca: Ooops! Tell him I'm sorry and that I'll pay for his therapy when he's older. Also, dude, thank you so much for my present. I love it, it's beautiful. But also way more expensive than printing off a bunch of photographs, so you'll have to let me make up for that xxx

Chloe: If you recall, that was your second Christmas present to me. You took me to see the Bellas, remember? I know the tickets were free but the gas to drive us there wasn't. xxx

Beca: I'm still going to make up for it xxx

Beca: How's it going? xxx

Chloe: They're all on their way. I'm just savouring the silence. xxx

Beca: Remember, I'm only a text or a phone call away. xxx

Initially, Chloe thought that maybe she'd be able to handle it all. Once all the family had arrived, they all crammed into the living room and caught up with each other. It had been a long time since Chloe had seen most of them, considering that they hadn't come for Christmas last year. Chloe found that, with regular trips to the kitchen to help her Mom and aunt Lizzy with dinner, she was able to handle the seemingly constant questions fine.

That was, until, her grandma brought up Beca.

"Your Mom said she's a lovely young girl," her grandma said, smiling, "how did you meet?"

She was aware that a few other conversations had fallen quiet. Carol was watching, and her two twins had stopped texting and looked up, clearly interested.

"Just at school. She gave me a ride home once and we sort of just hit it off," Chloe said.

Aunt Carol had pursed her lips and taken another drink of her mimosa. She was already on her second.

"So, like, are you guys like, out at school and everything? Like do you hold hands and stuff?" Bethany, one of the twins said.

"Um yeah pretty much," Chloe said.

"Wow," Lindsey, the other twin, said. "Like, no offence, but if that happened at our school, then those girls would be like, totally shunned."

"Why?" Chloe asked.

"Because, like, I mean you're just asking to get bullied aren't you?" She said. "Like aren't your friends totally weirded out by you being a lesbian? Aren't they like, scared to change in front of you and stuff?"

"No," Chloe replied. "And I'm not a lesbian, I'm bi."

"What's that dear?" Her grandma asked, leaning forward so she could hear better.

"I said I was bi. It's short for bisexual. It means I like boys and girls," Chloe said, embarrassed that she was having to have this conversation with her grandma.

"Ohh, like your Mom!" Her grandpa said, happily.

Chloe smiled, relieved.

"Well there's hope for you yet then," Carol said, with a cackle of a laugh. "Still time to get yourself a nice husband."

Chloe winced.

"So your friends really don't care?" Lindsey asked, not willing to drop it.

"No."

"Oh my god, I totally would," she said.

"Me too," Bethany replied. "Like, they don't let boys in the girls' locker room so like, why would they let lesbians? It's like really weird. No offence."

"I guess my friends are just a bit more mature than you," Chloe said. At some point, Johnny had put his hand on her back.

"Excuse me, my daughter's are very mature," Carol said.

"They really seem it," Johnny muttered.

"What was that?"

"God, leave it Carol will you?" Tommy said, rolling his eyes. "And girls, leave Chloe alone. She was trying to tell Grandma about her girlfriend, she doesn't need you two trying to make her feel bad."

A silence followed, and just as Chloe was about to excuse herself, Aliza piped up.

"I like Beca," she said.

"Me too," said Robbie.

"Come on Luce," one of the twins said, expecting Lucy to join them, "you must feel embarrassed about it. Like, no offence, but if like Bethany was suddenly a lesbian and had a girlfriend, I'd feel so embarrassed I'd be like, oh my god, my sister is a social outcast."

"Oh my god, no offence, me too," Bethany said.

"Actually, Beca's really cool. And I don't care what kids at school say. I'm really proud of Chloe for having the courage to be who she is," Lucy said, clearly having enough.

"Me too," Johnny said.

"Well said Lucy," Julie said, quietly.

"Right, are we done grilling Chloe about her girlfriend now?" Tommy asked, clearly annoyed by his wife and daughter's behaviour.

"Who's been grilling Chloe?" Her dad asked, walking in from the garden where he'd been with his brother in law, showing off his new greenhouse. "I don't think she'll taste very nice."

The younger kids giggled, and the older ones groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Well there isn't a lot of meat on her, that's for sure," Carol said.

"Carol," Tommy said, in a warning voice.

"What?" Carol said with another cackle. "Jeez it was just a joke."

"Oh don't make jokes like that," Chloe's grandma said. "It isn't nice."

Chloe felt her face burning, and all she wanted to do was disappear. She felt pressure on her hand and looked down to see Lucy holding it. None of the Beale kids thought this was funny. They remembered last Christmas too painfully for any of this to be funny.

"Dinner's ready!" Chloe's mom called from into the kitchen, and Chloe felt her heart sink further.

She tried to sit as far away from Carol and her twins as she could, but she ended up opposite them. Carol was on her fourth drink by the time they sat down.

"Maybe make that your last," Tommy said.

"Oh lighten up Tommy, it's Christmas after all!"

As the rest of the family helped themselves, to meet and vegetables and the several different kids of potatoes, Chloe's Mom filled Chloe's plate for her.

"Can't she do it herself?" Carol asked.

Chloe wondered what it was she'd done to deserve being Carol's target this year. Usually, Carol just made snide comments about her Mom's cooking, or told Johnny he needed a hair cut, or berated her husband. This year, Chloe was getting the brunt of it. She wondered if it was that, because of her, Carol was forced to cook her own Christmas dinner last year.

Chloe's Mom ignored her, and put down Chloe's plate in front of her.

Chloe looked down and saw that she had considerably less than everyone else, except probably her grandmother, Aliza, Robbie, and four-year-old Daniel. But it still looked like too much.

Soon everyone was tucking in, and the conversations soon turned to just how delicious the food was. Carol's comment about the turkey being a bit dry was drowned out by everyone else praising it.

Chloe wasn't listening to any of them. She was just trying to make her way through as much of it as she could. But she knew before she'd even sat down that she wasn't going to be able to do it. The conversations from earlier had rattled her, and it felt like every mouthful was sticking in her throat.

Soon, almost every plate was clean except for Chloe's.

"Not hungry, Chloe?" Carol asked.

Chloe felt tears in her eyes.

"Why don't we head back into the living room?" Her dad said.

"Unless you want to help me clean up," Chloe's mom added.

Chloe heard some of them laugh and then the sound of scraping chairs. Her eyes didn't leave her plate. Her knife and fork were still clenched tightly in her hand.

She heard her Mom sigh behind her. "I need you to eat more than that, sweetie."

Chloe nodded and wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "I know," she said.

"Why is aunt Carol being such a bitch?" Lucy asked. Chloe looked up, surprised that Lucy hadn't left. Neither had her aunt Lizzy who was helping her Mom clean up.

"Has she been saying stuff?" Her Mom asked.

"She and her moronic daughters have been giving Chloe shit for having a girlfriend," Johnny said, walking into the kitchen and sitting down at the table. "Now she's complaining that Chloe didn't eat anything. 'I thought that was why they didn't do Christmas last year, because she wouldn't eat.'" Johnny said, doing a perfect impression. "'Well it didn't work, she still isn't eating!' Dad looks like he wants to throw her out."

Her Mom sighed and sat beside Chloe. "Don't listen to anything she says," she said, wiping the tears off Chloe's cheeks.

"Listen, anyone who has a 'Women for Trump' bumper sticker shouldn't be given the power to make you cry, okay?" Lizzy said. "Come on you two," she added to Johnny and Lucy, "let's let the girl finish her dinner without an audience."

Chloe sat for another half an hour, but had still hardly made a dent in her now cold dinner.

"Oh my god, are you still working on that?" Carol asked, walking into the kitchen with her empty glass. "Anymore wine Maggie?" She added, handing her glass to Chloe's Mom.

"Mom, can I text Beca please?" Chloe said.

Her Mom sighed slightly. "Sure sweetie," she said.

Carol made a noise.

"Something wrong Carol?" Chloe's Mom asked, a harsh edge to her voice.

"Oh, it's just that my girls aren't allowed on their phones during dinner," she said.

"Good for you," her Mom said, wishing she could just throw this woman out of her house.

Chloe had already pulled out her phone and texted Beca.

Chloe: I need you.

Her phone buzzed almost immediately.

Beca: I'm on my way xx

[aflowerandapolarbear-blog]

Losing My Light (Part 3)

The day after Christmas had sense become the second worst day of her life. It was the day that reality always had to sink in. She had hid out in her bedroom just the previous morning she had woken up in bed with her precious wife. Bella couldn’t bring herself to go downstairs to the tree and the presents all wrapped up for her sweet little princess and her wife. Su came to upstairs to find her the next morning.

“Sweetheart…” his voice low and soft.

“Not today.” She stuffed her face back into the pillow and covered herself with the blankets. She could still smell Liz’s shampoo on her pillow.

The rest of that day she could hear people softly whispering downstairs. She had guessed they were removing all of the Christmas things from her house. She wasn’t sure if she should be hurt, angry, or grateful. She had chosen grateful for the time being because she couldn’t stand to walk downstairs and see all the presents she and Liz had bought for their daughter.

When she had finally got downstairs, it looked so empty. There was nothing in the living room and the fire place was out. Somehow, the dark ash of the empty fire place had caused her to start weeping again. Pulling the afghan from the couch, she wrapped herself in it. It was the one Liz had made for her their first Christmas together and she cherished it.

She found herself in a similar position this year as well. Bella could see the sun coming through in streaks on the curtains and dragged herself to look out the window. Just like that year there was freshly fallen snow on the ground. Walking to the kitchen, she made herself a cup of hot tea from Liz’s favourite coffee mug. She couldn’t bring herself to throw it out, and she knew how mad Liz would get for her using it for tea. Today instead of hiding in their room like she had that first day, she found it somewhere in herself to walk up those stairs for the first time in a long time. Frames lined the stairs. Pictures of long pushed back memories.

She picked up the first one of the wall. It was from the day Liz and she had met. They had found themselves at pub where Bella had been watching Liz all night. She had waited all night to make her move and it was actually another woman who caused it. Some blonde came up and started hitting on Liz. Bella having picked up on Liz being uncomfortable walked up and put her arm around her.

“Excuse me, ma’am, but I’m her girlfriend.”

Smiling slightly, Bella still to this day couldn’t if the woman was more offended for being called ma’am or her average looking self having that angel at the pub that night. Some drunken confidence is what started the beautiful relationship between them. Bella gave herself some praise for that one.

The second photo was one of her favourites. It was a photo from the day the woman from the bar became her wife. Liz was stunning in a long sleeve lace dress. Her chestnut hair flowing down her back. She has a lily weaved into her hair. Liz stared longingly over the lake near where they had been married, while Bella had held her from behind. She had worn a simple white dress without embellishments and her hair up on her head. Bella would never forget that day. It was day she said I do to the love of her life.

The third photo on the wall was a close second. Her wife was holding their little princess. When they had gotten married they expressed their love for children, though they couldn’t have one of their own based on various circumstances. About 3 years into their marriage, little Brianna came into their lives. She was almost a year old when she all but landed in their laps. She had gorgeous blue eyes and soft little blonde curls. She smiled constantly and was spoiled so much. Although, it was unfortunate on how they had come to have her in their care. Her mother had been too ill to be able to have her anymore and knew she wouldn’t recover and with no father in the picture, she knew Brianna needed a family. She had wanted a closed adoption with the stipulation that once Brianna was old enough, her new parents would tell her about her. Teary eyed, Bella thought, “at least she is with her birth mother now.” It made her heart swell to look at her precious child being held by her wife.

The last photo on the wall, the most cherished, and most painful. This photo had been taken just two weeks before the accident. All dressed up in their Christmas best. The reds, greens and whites all mixing together. Liz had on a brilliant dress, so formal yet she looked so relaxed and comfortable. Bella had been wearing slacks with a candy-striped button up and sweater that matched. At almost five, Brianna had worn a Christmas dress that resembled Mrs. Claus. Her little family. It had broken her heart even more that year that most people received her Christmas cards and then a few days later knew her heart was broken for the holidays.

Making it to the top of the stairs, she gazed down the hallway. Ever since she had made it out of bed that first day, she only came up here every once in a while. She had managed to keep most of what she needed downstairs so she wouldn’t have to go past Brianna’s bedroom, or their office, or their bedroom. It was too painful to have to bear. She took a deep breath and opened the first door. She knew she would have to do this sooner or later. Yes, she had gotten rid of a lot of the things in the house that reminded her of her family, and things that she knew would be better off with another little girl, but she had kept Brianna’s room exactly the same. The bed still had the little pink sheets with her blankie folded on top. Her favourite teddy bear still leaned against the pillows. Her closet still had a lot of her little shoes and dresses. Her pink princess room looked ready to have her sleep another night in there. The colours and theme for the room matched the little girl so perfectly. When she first came to live there, the couple had tried to keep it neutral for as long as possible but it was clear they had a pink princess in their midst. Soon everything had pink and white on it, and many princess style dresses filled the closet.

That little girl had run this house. Bella was always chasing her to get her into regular clothes so they could go out. Finally, the excuse always became, “You don’t want to get your princess dress dirty, do you?”

Liz was the one though that always managed to get her to change. There was a fondness and bond between those two, and even though Bella had her own bond with her, there was something about when those two were together. Often times she would walk into Liz having her coffee and Brianna pretending her hot chocolate was coffee. Seeing those two together always made her smile because that was her family. Nothing would change that or take that away from her. Or so she had thought.

That little girl as princess-y as she was, was no diva and so sweet and kind, always helping her and her mommy. Though when it came to helping them clean, she always pretended to help. It was the one thing she didn’t want to do. Pick up all her toys. But other than that, she was seemingly the perfect little girl. So helpful, polite and smart. God, she was smart. She had already begun to read and wanted to learn to speak in the language mama spoke with her parents, picking up things here and there and figuring out what they meant.

Softly, Bella closed the door as she stepped out of room. She moved down the hallway, passing the bathroom, remembering all the times she had to pretend to be upset when she went in to tell Liz to hurry up. When in reality, she just wanted to see her naked wife and take her in for a few moments. She passed their spare room which they had both used as an office space for their work and their ideas they had together to set into motion. There were still bulletin boards of ideas of what they could do. Most of Bella’s work had found refuge on their kitchen table since she didn’t really have anyone to sit with anymore. She passed by another door which was just a closet, but still nonetheless held memories when they hid in there one Thanksgiving to have some “time alone” away from their bickering parents over who was using the stove first.

Finally, she had made it to the end of the hallway. She always managed to be in and out of there without really looking at anything, but today she was hoping to change that. Approaching the door, she felt the tickle in her throat and heaviness behind her eyes, knowing she will cry once she opens the door and takes a look at what was once their master bedroom. Taking a deep breath, she put her hand on the knob about to turn it.

She starts to feel a vibration in her jeans, followed by a random ringtone. She tries to ignore it, but she pulls it out, hand leaving the door as she backs away. She gulps answering whoever is on the other line, turning and heading back down the hallway.

“Yeah, we are still on for tonight, Lena.”

-M 

[natg1rl-blog]

A Leader is Nothing Without Her followers.

Since High School I have been writing a somewhat Auto-biography. Most of what I have written did happen, some things are slightly fabricated for maximum dramatic effect. My dream, since I can remember, was to someday have my work published. The thing I would love more than anything is to write & direct my own movie. So by putting this out there hopefully it will get recognised.... This is Part 1 from the first Chapter of ‘Little Black Book’ xxx In any Dictionary you will discover that the word overrated is best defined as anything that is given too much meaning or hype. In my personal opinion they missed out one pivotal definition of overrated… High School! I remember leaving primary school a strong, confident and outgoing girl. The idea of High School was daunting. I knew who I was and I wasn’t afraid to stand up for myself, but then again in Primary School I was the queen bee and everyone knew it. My friends followed me around. My house was the house that people came to. My ideas were the ones that got listened to over others. I’d seen enough Teen movies to know that in High School, if there were two girls trying to be leaders then it was almost like a fight to the finish. No matter where you are in the world it’s all the same. Whoever holds the power is the one who comes out on top. We still have Jocks and Cheerleaders, they’re just branded differently. On the first day of high school I remember exactly how I felt. I knew for a fact that the day would play out in one of two ways – my popularity would be sustained and everything would be as I was used to, or I would be forgotten about, grouped among the nerds and ridiculed for five years. I just hoped that it wasn’t the latter. As soon as I got out of my mum’s car I scanned the crowd for a familiar face. My heart raced fast in my chest, my palms started to sweat and I began to look around at the dozens of strangers that were saying goodbye to their loved ones. The year before we ran in a group of four girls. My name’s Bella. Back then I was a thin girl with dark brown hair, crystal blue eyes and a face full of freckles. My best friend was Morgan. Morgan came to the school at the beginning of year Seven so I hadn’t known her as long as the other girls, but we got along famously none the less. Morgan was of Aboriginal culture however as her dad was Australian, she had that perfect mix of ethnicity. Her skin was tan, she had the biggest and most beautiful brown eyes, and she was very slender. Next was Nicola. Nicola and I looked similar in the sense that she too had the dark brown hair, blue eyes and a face full of freckles. However what stood us apart was the fact that Nicola was tall and lanky. Finally, there was Renee. I had known Renee since starting Primary school. Renee was pretty, but not too pretty that you’d have to hate her for it. She was a chubbier girl who sported blonde hair and brown eyes. She was one of the nicest girls I had ever met. ‘Bella!’ I heard my name ripple through the crowd like a wave of relief. 

Now that was a familiar voice. I turned around to see Renee headed straight towards me with a nervous grin on her face. 

‘Nae!’ I greeted warmly, letting go of breath I wasn’t even aware I had been holding. We gave each other a hug. 

‘There are so many people here,’ she noticed, seeming a little overwhelmed. I looked around again, taking in the atmosphere.  ‘I know, it’s crazy right?’ I was so glad that we had each other. Unfortunately Renee was one of the only friends I knew of whom was also starting at Varlem Tophet High. Nicola’s family was moving out of the area which meant that she had to go to another school about a 30 minute drive from Varlem Tophet. As for Morgan, well she was a whole other story. During the summer break, Morgan had spent a couple of nights at my house. Doing so was the norm for us; we were rarely ever apart for more than a few days at a time. I remember waking up one morning, no different to any other, only Morgan was gone. I found a hand written letter on the kitchen counter and Morgan was nowhere to be seen. I had no idea what time she had snuck out, and although it was a little strange, at the time I didn’t think that there was any need for concern.

Bella,

I have to go home for a little while. Everything is fine, there are just a few things that I need to sort out. Will explain later.

Love you,

Morgs xx

By the time the sun had set on the day I did start to get a little worried about her. I couldn’t call her because the house phone was rigged to allow incoming calls only, but luckily Morgan only lived about a ten minute walk from my house. As I made my way to Morgan’s place I couldn’t help but imagine all of the terrible things that might have happened to her. Had her parents grounded her for some reason? Did she get kidnapped on the way home? I wasn’t able to control my worrisome thoughts. You can imagine my surprise when I reached her front doorstep only to find her whole entire house was empty. Although it was locked up, the curtains had been removed so I could see straight through to the back door. The notice on the front door read, Trespassers Prosecuted. I felt sick. Morgan had given me no indication that something was wrong. I couldn’t help but imagine the worst; her family had clearly gotten themselves into some kind of trouble. I feel as though she knew that she was leaving. No one could have cleared an entire house so quickly like that. I think it’s the reason she stayed at my house for a few days to begin with. The fact that she never told me that she was leaving was what hurt the most. To this day I still have no idea what happened to Morgan or her family, all I could hope for was that they were safe and well. 

‘Hey guys,’ emerged a voice from behind Renee and I.

The two of us turned around to see Pamela standing before us. Pamela also went to our primary school and as much as she thought she was part of our tight clique, she wasn’t. To be honest Pam got on my nerves quite often. There was something about her personality that rubbed me the wrong way, but we were all still friendly enough for her to hang around as though she was welcome to. Pamela was short, chubby and sported a head full of curls. She had green cat-like eyes and a few distinctive freckles over her nose. Renee and I smiled at her, ever so forcefully. I figured Pamela assumed she would be hanging with Renee and I, at least for the Induction, and as much as she annoyed me I welcomed the extra person because I knew that the bigger our group was, the less likely anyone would rival me. The nasally sound of the school siren rang in our ears and just like Cattle, the whole crowd began to herd together through the gates.   I turned to Renee, ‘the moment of truth.’ The three of us followed the crowd until we found ourselves in a small room where the entire Class of Juniors had grouped together. There had to be at least two hundred of us in that room. A few of the teachers took the reigns and began to give us the welcome speech. I tried to discreetly look around to see if I knew anyone else. Admittedly I was also scanning the crowd to see what kind of competition was out there and I did happen to notice a couple of girls who made me nervous. They were sitting together, so I assumed they knew one another. They were both skinny blonde’s and of course they just had to be absolutely stunning. This was not helping my case. As the teachers began to introduce themselves they also read from a list which contained the names of students who would be in their class for the year. It seemed as though the classes would consist of around thirty students who were all assigned to one teacher for home room, Math’s and English, but then the rest of the subjects would be split among teachers who were trained in that field. I quietly prayed to myself that I was going to be put in the same class as Renee. I would have even settled to be put with Pamela, I was that desperate. It didn’t take long before Renee’s name got called out, but they finished the roll for her particular group before getting to me. The two of us pulled sad faces at one another as she followed her new classmates into their designated room. After my name got called I also ended up having to leave Pamela behind. I was however put with another girl I vaguely knew from primary school but had never actually spoken to before. Her name was Sam. Sam was a bit of a loner from what I could tell. She stuck to herself and didn’t generally speak to anyone else unless she had to. She was tall and rather lanky. She had dark skin, dark eyes and dead straight hair. Not even a hint of a curl.

‘Hi Bella,’ she spoke to me for the first time, I think ever. ‘Hey,’ I replied, lending her a smile.  Again, not in a position to be picky about my company. ‘Do you want to sit together?’ She asked, hopeful. By the looks of it I knew absolutely no one in the class I had been assigned to so I didn’t see much of a choice.

‘Sure,’ I smiled again as we took a seat in the back. In that moment, the two blondes I had been eyeing up in the hall walked into the room arm in arm, giggling to one another. Of course they were in my class! They both took a seat with another girl they seemed to know. It made me even more upset that I wasn’t with my friends. A leader is nothing without her followers. ‘Welcome guys, I hope you’re not too nervous. My name is Mr. Landtur and you’re going to have me for the duration of the year,’ our teacher introduced himself with a beam of confidence in his voice.

I got a good vibe off of Mr. Landtur. He didn’t come across as your regular Joe-Blow teacher. They normally acted with a certain aspect of superiority and a douche bag o’meter level exceeding one hundred and fifty, but Mr. Landtur was giving off more of a friend-vibe, and that was nice. The first day seemed to be going well. Once the usual introductions were out of the way and the roll was called, we basically got to talk among ourselves until the bell rang for the next subject. I was thankful that we didn’t have to personally introduce ourselves to everyone; I hated being the centre of attention, especially around new people. As soon as the siren sounded, I checked my timetable to see where Social Studies was. It just so happened that it was in the room I was already in so I happily stayed put. Most of the people from my class began to move out, including Sam, however I did happen to notice that one of the blondes had stayed behind also. I already knew that Renee and Pamela weren’t in the next class with me because we had briefly browsed at our timetables during the Assembly; I just hoped it wasn’t going to be too hard to make friends. Then in that moment, someone unexpected broke my reverie.

‘Hey, Bella is it?’ I turned to see the blonde girl standing right next to me, smiling.  ‘Hi,’ I managed nervously, ‘that’s right.’ The girl sat down in the chair that Sam had recently vacated. I had no idea what her name was, I was not paying attention when Mr. Landtur was calling roll.  ‘I’m Millee.’ She introduced, still smiling.  At least she seemed friendly enough. Millee and I didn’t have too much of a chance to get to know one another because class started shortly after our introduction; however she did ask me if I wanted to grab some Recess with her after the next class, which we also happened to be in together. To be honest I was a little surprised that she didn’t already have plans with the other girls she seemed to know, but I wasn’t going to knock back a potential new friend on the very first day, not when she seemed popular in her own right. As the bell sounded for recess Millee and I headed out to find a quiet spot so that we could get better acquainted.  ‘So what school are you from?’ She asked me as we grabbed a seat on some large rocks close to the main building.  ‘Xamill Primary, you?’ I responded, trying to keep the small talk flowing in order for the two of us to be comfortable around one another. I hated small talk. ‘Varlem Tophet actually.’ I wondered briefly if that was why she knew so many girls already. I imagined quite a lot of them migrated over from the Primary School across the road.  ‘Oh, cool!’ I acted interested. The two of us were getting along quite well and I began to endure that sense of satisfaction where I just knew things were going to be okay. Not even lunch time and I had already made a new friend, why was I so worried? About ten minutes into getting to know one another further, we both noticed a couple of Millee’s friends watching from afar, staring at the two of us. Millee thought it was strange that they didn’t just come over. I did recognize Millee’s friends. Two of them I noticed speaking to Millee in home room, but one of them also did a brief stint at Xamill Primary. We were somewhat friends in year Six until we had a falling out about something trivial. All I remember is that she became so hated that she got egged out of school, literally. I had no part in it, but at the same time I didn’t exactly stick up for her either. I wondered if that was about to backfire on me now.  ‘I’m sorry they seem to want me for something, I’ll be back in a sec,’ she told me.  I sat there feeling like a complete loser whilst Millee joined her other friends. I watched the four girls from the corner of my eye, trying to be discreet. Within seconds the girls had said something so scandalous to Millee that all four of them shot me an icy stare before walking away. I had absolutely no idea what words had been exchanged between them, but whatever they said, it was enough for Millee to no longer want anything to do with me. I felt sick to my stomach. It were as though in one moment I was blissfully happy, knowing that the school year had some serious potential, then in the next moment I’d somehow made four enemies and I had no idea why. As the bell rudely interrupted my disturbing thoughts, the last thing I wanted to do was face another class. I swallowed hard in my throat , held back my tears, and set out to find Hall Three.