#Because I think it'd suit them well and they didn't get a fair shot at it before even though they'd do great

[applejarjar]

Damn, ppl do this waiting for a job offer thing all the time?

[melishade]

Oh man, that last one was so good. Number 19 in the Surprise category?

Dialogue Prompt (That you're more than welcome to ask from)

(Hanji and Wheeljack just being complete dumbasses together and nearly getting each other killed.)

"So, Commandant," Wheeljack began in his bipedal mode, "How are we going to run this experiment?"

"Well, I wanted to test how well the the diluted energon crystals from Eren and raw energon would fair as a power source for the 3D gear." Hanji gestured to the 3D Gear lying on the table, "What are the risks and benefits of using both products? How easy one would be for transport? All that shit."

Hanji put on her gloves and opened the container to the gas tank. She extended her hand to the Wrecker and beckoned him forward. "Give me the diluted energon, please?"

"So tiny," Wheeljack grumbled as he picked up the energon with his digits.

"Well maybe this is why you should get a holoform," Hanji smirked.

"You know I didn't have the time." Wheeljack gently placed the energon in her hand. Hanji placed it in the gas tank and locked it without giving it a second thought. She grabbed the handle and walked a safe distance from the device bolted to the table. She pulled the trigger and locked it in place, and the device began to spew a stream of blue gas. Hanji tapped her foot before careening her head to Wheeljack.

"So...," Hanji trailed off, "What do you think about 3D gear usage? From a scientific standpoint."

"It defies all laws of physics that I'm sure it'd give Doc a headache," Wheeljack answered, "I, personally, love it. It's creative, and it reminds me of something on Earth that's super popular."

"Really? What is that?" Hanji asked.

"Something about a human in a red and blue suit," Wheeljack recalled, "Think I heard the humans talk about it once."

"Good to know," Hanji smiled, "If we ever meet, I will ask about it."

Hanji then turned her attention to the table of energon and noticed something wrong. The diluted energon pile...it wasn't touched. At all. It was in fact...the energon pile that was messed with. "Wheeljack?"

"Yep?" Wheeljack asked.

"You gave me the diluted energon, right?" Hanji asked.

"Yeah, it's the...," Wheeljack paused when he pointed to the pile, "That was the diluted energon right?"

"I'm asking you!" Hanji began to panic as she ran over to the piles, "Holy shit! You gave me the energon!"

"I did not!" Wheeljack denied.

"Clearly you did!" Hanji shouted.

"It looked the same!" Wheeljack argued, "I got it mixed up!"

"Looked the same?! Are you kidding?!" Hanji demanded, “What do you mean you got the piles mixed up?! There are tags that are very clearly labeled ENERGON and DILUTED ENERGON!! This is your fucking fuel source!"

Wheeljack and Hanji stopped arguing when they heard a high pitched noise. They snapped their heads to see the gas tank heating up to a point where the metal was clearly changing color.

"Oh fuck! Oh shit! Oh fuck! I need to shut it off!" Hanji tried to run to the switch, but Wheeljack quickly grabbed her and shielded her from the device exploding in a blue puff of smoke. The pieces of the 3D gear flew everywhere and hit the ground, some of them up in blue flames. Hanji peaked over Wheeljack's servos to see the damage done as the Wrecker set her down.

"Huh," Wheeljack could only muster, "That could've been a lot worse."

Hanji sighed as she picked up her notebook and wrote her observations down. "I can't help but agree with you. That was not the most destructive experiment I've conducted."

Hanji continued writing her observations as she stomped on the fires to put them out. "So here's what we're going to do now. You are going to get your optics checked because someone is clearly color blind!"

"They are nearly the same shade of blue!" Wheeljack shot back.

"Next." A devious smile formed on Hanji's face as she shut the notebook in her hand, "We are going to get another 3D gear equipment! Oh, this is so much fun!"

Levi observed with a telescope from afar, grimacing at the sight of the blue smoke. He folded the telescope before climbing down the tree. He needed to tell Optimus that something blew up.

[mouseratz]

anywho. also read asm 300 out of boredom and the fact I didn't have my physical books on me soooo. well. god I hate MJ and Peter. y'all should divorce for real. not because you guys are bad to each other you're just so goddamn annoying.

Mjs like "I'm a girl! I love shopping and I have friends who are also hot girls! and peter don't you want to take sexy photos of me! and I feel SOOOO bad that I'm better at your job than you and it makes you feel bad I guess I should just be worse at it so it doesn't insult your masculinity ❤️❤️❤️ loveee u baby" Like. sorry. she's just written as What Some Guy Imagines a Normal Nice Girl Is Like here. (obviously this is not representative of the entirety of actual decades of writing for a character but this issue is a rough introduction.)

and peter. well. he's Nineties Just Some Guy but I expected that so it's a little less grating.

the art is interesting because the action scenes and compositions are really solid and easy to see why they're iconic. but the faces......I don't like them. at all. they're jacked up for everybody. basically only the hero suits and dynamic shots look good.

Brock's heavy catholic bent did not make it into the movie characterization and I think that's fair but also really fucking funny. part of his revenge fantasy includes "dressing up as a priest to kill spiderman". also his backstory "I was really sad I lost my job so I got jacked because I thought it would make me less depressed but it didn't. and the more I thought about it the more mad I got and then I was gonna kill myself for real like I was gonna do it. but then an alien said hey let's go kill that guy you hate I hate him too and I was like awesome! and now life is also awesome" . which is just so....yeah That's Comics!

Brock and venom united by Being a Hater (to be fair in venoms case. I do actually feel bad for him how is that his fault imagine being like heyyyy I'm an alien who needs a host to live. and you're cool and we get along pretty well....we can help each other and it would be great. and then the guy doesn't just tell you Fuck Off I Don't Want to Do That, but Tries To Murder You Bad and the entire discussion around him doesn't really seem to regard him as a person but as just a thing who's life isn't as valuable as his, even after knowing he's sentient....)

(and peter's fine with trying to kill him Again, not just as defense, and only backs off because he doesn't want to kill the human he's bonded with). that's kinda fucked up. you don't even consider his life a life just because he's a people eating alien. wow. eyeroll. idk it's just weird to be like. I Can't Take A Life! But This Guy Doesn't Count Cuz It's Not Human. I thought we left that behind in the silver age with the old Bizarro stories and the like. at least DC kinda did. I can and I WILL get stuck on "how do you determine which life is valuable and worth saving versus not" because I like star trek. c'mon. it'd be different if he didn't care because venom was a threat either way and needed to be stopped; but that isn't what he said. he said, no, I can't take his life because it would mean also taking Brock's life, and I can't do that. which is inch resting. tldr what I'm saying is yeah he's got reasons to be a hater. )

[that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

Summary: Winry sat in the optimal place to study in the school cafe for the entire fall semester. Then spring came, and suddenly some self-entitled twit who dressed like off-brand Gerard Way decided it was his territory. He was so not going to get off easy.

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.8k words of coffee shop/college AU with a side of enemies to almost-lovers

A/N: It's finals week, I posted this on Ao3 at almost 5am, and if the rest of the sentence didn't make it obvious, I'm writing from unfortunate experience. Not beta-ed or proofread, although I happened to see one thing to fix when I woke up this morning. Feel my raw power. Rawr.

It wasn't that big a deal.

It kind of really was, though.

Every Thursday morning during the fall semester, Winry sat in the same spot at the same school coffee shop. It was the spot sent by the entire patron pantheon of cram papers. Maybe one person didn't need an entire booth, but it was in the corner, and the tops of the bench seats had opaque plastic barriers that just so happened to be perfect for minimizing excess visual chaos. For the most part, there weren't loud conversations, and the jazz music that came through the speakers helped her tune out people ordering coffee. Add to that the fact that she could use campus flex dollars and not her own bank account that was begging for mercy, and it was the perfect spot to get papers done.

But apparently not this spring.

As soon as Winry walked in, she noticed him in the corner. Some emo wannabe guy on his computer. Probably on Reddit complaining about how women didn't appreciate the amazing pics he sent them on Tinder. Or at least, it was a fair guess based on the sour look on his face. Why did this guy of all people have to steal the holy grail spot? Ugh. She was still gonna get her coffee, darn it.

"You know the deal, Sciezska. Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer."

"On it! You paying in flex?"

"Yeah." She scanned her student ID and lowered her voice. "Who's off-brand Gerard Way in the corner?"

"Who's Ger—"

"The punk kid."

"Ohhh. I can try to get his number for you, if you want."

"No, he looks like a total tool! And not the kind I like dealing with!"

"Which means you think he's hot. I didn't think you were into that type, but you're not wrong."

"For the last time, no, Sciezska! He took my spot! And I'm trying very, very hard to keep this to a stage whisper, but if you keep trying to set me up with some random creep, I won't be able to!"

A distinctly male voice grumbled, "I'm not a creep."

"Keep telling that to the girls on Tinder. I'm sure they'll understand eventually."

"Yeah, and I'll bet if you look at your 'Live, Laugh, Love' sign a little more, you'll understand it eventually." He mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that, Mr. Nice Guy?"

"Lay off, it's eight in the morning. I said the only reason I even have a Tinder account is because my roommate stole my phone while I was going to the bathroom."

"Well, if you didn't want it, why didn't you delete it?"

"Eh, I figured if I really got sick of being single one day, it'd already be there."

"Never would have guessed you were single," Winry said dryly.

"Come on, it's way too early to be rubbing that kind of crap in. Who says I'm not fine with being single anyway?"

Sciezska timidly spoke up. "Medium roast with espresso and vanilla creamer?"

Winry thanked her as red jacket boy continued. "'Edward Elric, Bachelor.' Almost sounds as good as 'Edward Elric, Bachelor of Science.'"

"B.S. degree. Sounds about right."

"About time you stopped acting like I'm an idiot!"

Winry snorted. "That's not what I meant."

"Hey!"

"And with that, I'm going to go find some other spot to write my paper."

Edward, as his name apparently was, scoffed and mumbled something that sounded like "good riddance". Maybe the librarians wouldn't get on her case too much for bringing in coffee.

-----

A week later, Winry walked into the cafe, assuming the circumstances of the previous week were an anomaly. They were not.

"Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer," she grumbled and sulked in the direction of the corner seat.

"Hey, don't start with me again, blondie. I've had a whopping four hours of sleep and I can't promise you'll like what comes out of my mouth."

"We're at a coffee shop. Get some coffee. I can't help it if you're too hung over to be polite."

"Now look, genius. I did not stay up until 4 A.M. working on a stupid chem paper for that sadistic pyromaniac excuse for a professor just for some random chick to accuse me of being hung over."

"Oh."

"Yeah. And for your information, coffee doesn't really help me wake up. It just helps me focus on homework." He lifted up his empty cup and gave it a shake.

"That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"ADHD is a weird thing, and yet, here I am."

"Huh, interesting."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pick up where I left off with the same stupid ten page paper I started last night."

"Oh right. Sure," Winry stammered. "Listen, I'm really sorry I just assumed things about you. It was wrong of me, and I'd like to make it up to you, if that's okay."

Edward eyed her suspiciously. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well...I could look over your paper once you're done writing it? I've got a paper of my own to write while I'm waiting, and I can sit right across the table here so you don't have to come get me. I won't try to talk to you or anything. Neither of us need that kind of distraction."

"Alright, alright. Get your coffee and sit down. The girl at the counter's been up there waiting for a good minute or two while you've been at confessional over here."

"Wait, she has?" Winry's eyes widened, and Edward laughed at her expense. He was kind of attractive when he wasn't scowling...wait what? She pouted and got up to retrieve her coffee. When Winry returned, she plopped down on the bench opposite Edward and opened her laptop. Peeking out from behind it, she added, "By the way, I'm Winry. I figured you ought to at least know the name of the person who's proofreading your paper."

"Well, Winry, you're the one who volunteered." The corners of his mouth twitched upward. The two worked on their assignments in silence, occasionally speaking up when necessary.

-----

Edward was in the corner again the next week as well.

"Hey, Edward! Mind if I join you for homework again?"

"Normally, I'd say no, but you didn't bother me too much last week, so you might as well." He turned away slightly.

"Great! Have you gotten your coffee yet? I didn't see a cup, and you got something the last two times."

"Eh, I haven't been here long. If you're going up and getting yours, would you mind ordering a caramel macchiato for me?" He asked, sliding his ID across the table.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll be back in a sec."

She returned and slipped his ID back before pulling out her computer. "Do you have anything for me to look over this time?"

"Not this week. But if you have anything you need looked over, I can do that, too."

"Actually, I do, if you wouldn't mind."

"Winry, I just volunteered. Just send the paper to my school email. Mine's 'elricedwa'," he instructed as he proceeded to spell it.

"Medium roast and a caramel macchiato?" Sciezska called out.

"Coming!" Winry replied and turned to Edward. "I just sent it, so you should be able to start while I'm getting our stuff." Eyes glued to his laptop, Edward gave a thumbs up.

Once she returned with their drinks, Winry sat down and wordlessly set Edward's drink next to him.

"Thanks," he muttered distantly. His lips mirrored the words he was reading. Though his lips weren't plump by any stretch of the imagination, they were shapely. His steely concentration made the air leave Winry's lungs. To top it all off, the first rays of sunlight came through the window just right, hitting Edward's hair in a way that made it positively glow.

What was she thinking? Those were only the sorts of things people thought when they had a crush. She'd only had two positive interactions with him, including this one. ...well, maybe it was a crush. She could certainly do worse than someone with a questionable fashion sense. After all, he worked hard, and he got good grades, if the quality of his writing was any indication. Okay, fine. He was also drop dead gorgeous, if you could see past his clothing choices. Yeah, she had a crush.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"...no."

"Figures. I finished reading your paper. It's not bad, I just left a few suggestions for sentence structure. Now I am going to enjoy my caramel macchiato." He took off the lid and breathed in the steam with his eyes closed, nearly drooping into the cup in content. When he opened his eyes slowly, Winry was awestruck by the similarity between the color of his eyes and his drink.

"What?" Edward furrowed his eyebrows.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything. At all. Nope."

"Okay." He shrugged. She reopened the document and went through his suggested edits. Gnawing her lip in concentration, she leaned forward a bit to settle in and tackle the editing.

"...hey, uh, Winry?" Edward gulped. "Are you going to drink your coffee?"

"Oh! Yeah, I almost forgot. Thanks, Edward!" she smiled.

"No–no problem. And you can call me Ed, you know. Most people do. Except for that excuse for a professor that calls me pipsqueak. Can you believe he's my advisor? I mean, come on, I'm a grown man. I'm not that short."

Winry made a poor attempt at containing her laughter. "Okay then, Ed. Prove it. Stand up."

"Fine." He slid out of the booth and stood. Winry followed suit and appraised their respective heights.

"Well, I'd hardly call you tall, but you're at least taller than me by a few inches, for whatever that's worth."

Edward grinned as if he had won some sort of prize. "Time for shorties to sit down now!"

"Watch it now. You're not too far from that label yourself, mister."

They both returned to their positions in the booth and worked steadily for the next hour. At the end of that time, Winry closed her laptop. "Ed, are you okay? You seem distracted."

"ADHD. I'm always distracted," he dismissed.

"No, like, are you sick or something? You did get more than four hours of sleep this time, right?"

"No comment." Ed's mouth twitched. He mumbled barely loud enough to hear, "Wouldn't have mattered anyway."

"Are you sure? If you're not feeling well, I can drive you over to the health center."

"N-no. That's not it." He exhaled, then slid a napkin across the table. His hands trembled slightly. "Anyway, here's my number. In case you need me to look over a paper. Or whatever. I've got a class soon."

Winry blushed, but tucked the napkin in her laptop. "Thanks, Ed. See you next week?"

"Yeah. Next week."

-----

Winry: This goes with your major, right?

Edward: Blocked